#although there are more sims inhabiting my heart

[izayoichan]

Just you and me.

🎶

[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 1: Edelgard/Byleth)

Edelgard: I'm simply having trouble putting this feeling into words. I just felt…I don't know. As if something was drawing me to the Ashen Demon. I wonder… Could it be the influence of my Crest?

The story of 3H pushes Byleth with the lord of each route so hard that it almost felt pointless to add the self-insert dating-sim elements with the other students. In Persona 5, you could date whatever girl you wanted with no effect on the main story. But in 3H, it felt more like Final Fantasy X where there the love story was the main story.

This pairing absolutely felt "canon", at least in CF. As both of them bore the Crest of Flames, I strongly suspect that their relationship was meant to represent the concept of "twin flames". A twin flame is a deep soul connection between two people. They are actually thought to be twin souls inhabiting two bodies. Twin flames seem to mirror one another, have shared similar life paths, history, and sometimes trauma. They are naturally drawn to each other. This description certainly applied to Byleth.

Byleth: Who was your first true love? Edelgard: Hmm. For some reason, I feel compelled to tell you all of these things I have kept hidden. I can't say the name, but it was a noble who I met in the Kingdom, a lifetime ago.

But interestingly, it could apply to Dimitri as well. It is said that one twin flame is supposed to represent the divine masculine half of the soul and the other the divine feminine half. When the masculine and feminine energies of the twins harmonize, the two souls merge and become one.

The "divine feminine" principle is more about charting inner emotional space, while the "divine masculine" principle represents conquering the outer physical world. The characteristics of the divine masculine are logic, rationality, discipline, and assertiveness. The divine feminine is associated with goddess energy. Some of its attributes are intuition, nurturing, loving, and supporting their counterpart.

Edelgard: Professor... You've been crying. So even you cry sometimes. Oh... I suppose that was thoughtless of me to say. Byleth: Yes, it was. Edelgard: Long ago, someone said the same thing to me.

Traditionally, the moon represents divine feminine energy (yin) as opposed to the sun which represents divine masculine energy (yang). Edelgard is cool and collected. She is the active force of the story who wishes to bring about the new dawn. Dimitri is emotional. He is the reactive force whose storyline is symbolized by the moon. You'd expect Edelgard to be a natural yang personality and Dimitri a yin.

But Edelgard was born on the summer solstice as opposed to Dimitri being born on the winter solstice. Edelgard is a Cancer, which is a water sign ruled by the moon. Astrologically, Cancers are associated with yin energy. They are said to have a hard outer shell like a crab but are very soft underneath. Often called the mother of the zodiac, they are known for their deeply emotional and nurturing nature. They form strong attachments to their loved ones and often have a hard time letting go. It is implied that "El" cried when she learned that she'd have to leave the Kingdom. Dimitri was surprised seeing this reaction from her, but it likely influenced his choice of parting gift: a dagger symbolizing the philosophy of the patriarchal Faerghus.

I found it interesting how much Edelgard was displeased by Dimitri's gift. Even at the academy, she prefers if Byleth giver her more traditionally feminine gifts like flowers, a book, or a bear stuffy and she will be unhappy if she is given a weapon. Using a dagger to cut a path has very violent implications, although Dimitri was too young to realize that at the time. He had grown up around blades his whole life and only viewed them as tools of destiny. He wanted to reassure her that they had a future together, as long as she never lost heart. It was meant as a symbol of inner strength, nothing more.

Edelgard: Heh, so you consider me strong, do you? Even if one clings to their faith, the goddess will never answer them. Countless souls will be lost that way. Living without purpose. And I can be counted among those who have died that way as well. But that's why I must change this world, on behalf of the silent and weak! Dimitri: And do you intend to become a goddess yourself? Will you steal the power to take action from the broken-hearted masses you claim to defend?

Cancer's greatest fear is abandonment which can cause them to be clingy. It is implied that El "died" after praying and not receiving any hand reaching out to help her. During her imprisonment, she felt totally alone and forsaken by the goddess. That's when she began to see faith as a sign of inner weakness.

Edelgard was reborn bearing the Crest of Flames. She no longer shed tears and looked to the dagger for strength. Dimitri accused her of trying to supplant the goddess. And while that may not literally be true, perhaps it was true in a figurative sense. CF is about standing firm in your principles and cutting your own path no matter who stands in your way, even the goddess herself.

Dorothea: Is there someone you have your eye on? Edelgard: (Normal): To be honest, there's nothing resembling romance in my life at present. (Has reached Support Rank A with a male): A certain face comes to mind at the thought...though I'm not sure you could call what we have a romance just yet. It's not that I'm disinterested. I'm simply too busy with other endeavors. I have no time to spare for such things.

Ideologically, CF represents the most traditionally masculine path for Byleth to take. Edelgard is drawn to them regardless of gender, what route you choose, and even in Hopes. But she is drawn to their stoic masculine energy and even seemed somewhat disappointed that they were crying after Jeralt's death. Women can certainly embody divine masculine energy and vice versa. Twin flames are not based on biological sex. Overall, the fandom understandably prefers Edeleth with female Byleth for the less stereotypical aspects.

But I found it interesting that even though this very Support conversation implies that Edelgard is bisexual, the dialogue only changes (I tested this myself) if she has A-Support with a male. Edelgard has paired endings with a few other male characters, but not a single one of them has the level of emotional intimacy she has with Byleth. They read like political marriages, while Edelgard truly wanted a passionate romance.

Shez asks about memories of the past. Edelgard: Have I told you about the boy who gave me the dagger? I called him "Dee," which is all I really remember about him.

The tagline for FE3H was, "Sweet memories twisted by time's cruel hand". Dimitri said the day he gifted her the dagger was a sweet memory with a bitter ending. It's unclear why she couldn't recall that Dimitri was her first love. Perhaps when she realized her "fated path" would force her to go to war with someone so special to her, the pain caused her psyche to block out the memories of him and his identity. Who knows.

Edelgard: There was nothing I could do to save him. And so, the very least I could do was— Byleth: Are you crying? Edelgard: No. The Edelgard who shed tears died many years ago. Everything that's happened...it's all just part of the ebb and flow of history.

After Dimitri cursed "El" at the Tailtean Plains, she may have finally realized he was "Dee". In their A-Support, Edelgard admitted that she was actually relieved that Byleth could feel some human emotions like jealousy, but she tells them that they are both "detached" (actually "inhuman" in the JP version). Because of this, Byleth was someone she could relate to. And she does come across as rather inhuman at times. She finally does cry when she thinks Byleth dies, indicating her old self had come back to life in some way. But she was unable to cry when she killed anyone else. Even her old flame.

Edelgard: You called me El. That's... I... That means more than I can say. And this ring... It's lovely. Thank you, my dearest friend. I will happily accept it. I must admit, I feared my feelings would be unrequited. So long as I had you by my side, it never mattered how many enemies I amassed. You were all I needed.

Byleth's Crest and Edelgard's second Crest is the Crest of Flames, which is associated with The World arcana in Tarot. The World represents a successful conclusion after all aspects have been accounted for. Things have come full circle. A journey has been completed. Edelgard believed that the one leading the people of the world should be someone with humanity rather than an inhuman creature like Rhea. But there are two meanings for the word "humanity". One is "the human species" which is obviously what Edelgard meant. But the other meaning is "benevolence".

Byleth & Edelgard Byleth and Edelgard ended the tyranny of a godlike being. Byleth was wounded and lost the power of the progenitor god, but it mattered not, as he/she and Edelgard had each other. To ensure lasting peace, the two fought against those who slither in the dark, and to ensure a society where people can rise and fall by their own merits, they spent their lives reforming the antiquated class system. They achieved much in their time together, and it is said that they were sometimes spotted leaving the palace to privately enjoy the world they had created. How they spent those precious moments, none but the two of them will ever know.

Byleth cuts down Rhea with the sword made from the remains of her dead mother. Upon doing so, they lose the power of the progenitor god. The Crest Stone in their heart is destroyed. Their soul was once merged with the goddess Sothis, but symbolically Edelgard now fills that spot as their twin flame. Byleth's heartbeat returns, and their color goes back to normal.

But their hair color was actually the origin of the nickname "Ashen Demon". So, it leaves you to wonder: Did Byleth truly maintain their humanity until the end? I'm not so sure, but I still really enjoyed how the traditionally masculine aspects of Edelgard's conquest contrasted with the little glimpses of her feminine side that only Byleth could bring out. It is certainly unique romance among JRPGs and one that I won't ever forget.

[drimareuniverse]

Looking for a creative writer/storyteller

Hello! I'm Jay, I'm a non-binary artist and I'm looking for a creative writer that can help me write stories for my pet project Drimare Universe! Particularly my Webcomic and Visual Novel.

More details below, all help and sharing is appreciated!

The Drimare Universe is a world located within the dreams of humans, and the Drimare are its main inhabitants spread through various different regions.

It's composed of smaller stories focused on specific groups of characters (Like how Marvel has Spider-man stories, Iron-man stories, etc.) The general tone is a fun modern fantasy slice of life type.

I've been working on the project on my own for the past 10 years, and although I have a lot of lore and character info written down, when it comes to writing stories themselves, my skills are lacklustre. I finally accepted that I need someone that could help me with that, so here I am!

I keep most of the character info and lore archived on its wiki here if you're curious to learn more about it.

My current two projects that I'm looking for help on are a Webcomic and a Visual Novel, both of which are on hiatus because of my difficulty and general dissatisfaction with my own writing :(

I basically have loose plot points, certain scenarios, conversations and ideas, and I need someone that can tie those things together in a satisfying narrative way.

You don't have to work on the comic AND visual novel, but I am looking for help in at least one of those projects.

General requirements

Be over 18 years old. I'm 23 and not comfortable working with minors.

Be LGBTQ+ friendly! A LOT of the cast is LGBTQ in some way and certain characters focus a lot on topics of gender and sexuality so the more you know about the topic, the better :)

Have the patience to learn about my characters and world's quirks and lore lol! I'll try to explain things as best as I can! Bonus points if you have weird ideas yourself.

Basically, you write, I give my input, and then we use the finished script for the comic and/or visual novel.

You will be credited!

As for rates, my budget is small so let me know how much you charge! I'm somewhat of a writer myself and I don't feel comfortable having someone work for free, but I also have no idea what people usually charge for stuff like this. I can also offer my art in exchange if the person is interested/comfortable with that! Examples are on my DeviantArt as well as other links found on my profile.

I'm looking for someone I can work with for the long term so expect me to be a returning client if I enjoy your work! :) Ideally, I'd like to make a team eventually, but a writer is the priority atm.

I don't really have a set deadline so don't worry about having to finish things by specific dates.

It's my first time trying to commission someone for writing so I apologize if my etiquette is off, I'm only experienced in art commissions. I have no idea how I'm supposed to commission writing so I'll just describe what I'm looking to get below.

For the webcomic

Drimare Universe is the first official webcomic series based around the world of Drimare Universe, focusing on the origin story of the two siblings Zelly and Blade, as well as other characters they meet throughout their journey. It's set roughly around 10 years before the current timeline.

Available to read on Tapas here

It's an origin story for two siblings, followed by episodic stories of them meeting other characters from the cast and learning about the world around them. It's sort of built like a cartoon show, with more serious episodes, others more light-hearted, some important one, etc.

There are only 13 pages in the first episode so far, but I'm unhappy with the current script for the rest of the story and need help with it.

I'd like for someone who is actually good at writing and having better ideas to give it a look and either suggest things that could work better or straight-up rewrite it from scratch but better

The other episodes only have the general main plot points written down, with further episodes still being in a draft phase (I got so caught up with my writer's block with trying to figure the first two episodes, that I haven't been able to focus on the following ones)

***

For the visual novel

Drimare Universe Friendsim, is an ongoing Visual Novel project that will feature various characters from the Drimare Universe series, it is currently being developed on Ren'Py and free to download on the DU Friendsim itch.io page.

It is heavily inspired by games like Hiveswap Friendship Simulator as it follows a similar concept of a Human protagonist meeting various cast characters in order to form friendships with them.

The series will be released in various volumes, each one focusing on a specific character, with the events changing depending on the player's choices.

Available to download for free on Itch.io

It's about a human dreamer character who wakes up in the dream world and meets respective Drimare characters.

If you've played Hiveswap Friendsim or Pesterquest, it's the exact same concept. YCH protag meets characters in a very Isekai inspired scenario. It's like a dating sim, but friendship focused instead.

Unlike the webcomic, which takes place in the past, this visual novel takes place in the current timeline. Also unlike the comic, the visual novel is not canon.

Each volume is focused on MC (Who is referred to as "Dreamer") meeting a specific character, with other secondary characters making appearances as well.

There are two volumes available so far, each composed of one short story.

The tone is playful and comedic, I guess "quirky" could be a word to describe it. But still capable of having its serious moments,

Each volume has three endings. A short bad ending, a neutral ending, and a good/true ending. (The length and amount of endings can be flexible)

You don't have to know how to program visual novels or anything like that, I just need help with the stories. I'll be in charge of adding the writing to the game, animating the sprites accordingly, etc etc.

Apologies for the long text, I just want to be sure people understand exactly what I'm looking for! Ideally, I'd love to find someone that could share my passion for creating content for this project, but for now, I'll just settle for just finding someone at all lol

You can contact me through PMs here, though I also accept messages through Twitter DMs or Discord!

Twitter - https://twitter.com/NE0Nbandit

Discord - Jay 🌸🌊#9625

Thank you for taking the time to read this! <3

[kittynannygaming]

KittyNannyGaming!Masterlist

Fanfics:

Crossovers:

4 fandoms or more:

Advent Calendar 2020 (Complete)

Countdown until December 25th with fanworks and theories.

AO3 - Tumblr

ART MASTERLIST

SIMS 4 MASTERLIST

Harry Potter/Percy Jackson:

The Twice-Blessed Half-Blood (WIP):

Every Half-Blood has one god-parent, this we know: however, Harry is different because of one reason: through the ways of the divine, he has more than one god for a parent/guardian. [DZ2's 'Harry the Twice-Blessed Half-Blood' Challenge: A Harry Potter/Percy Jackson (or Heroes of Olympus) Crossover]

AO3

Harry Potter/The Witcher

Sweet Child Of Mine

Le destin obtient toujours ce qu’il veut, qu’importe les Sorciers trop orgueilleux qui tentent de prendre sa place ou les Sorcelleurs trop réfractaires qui tentent de le fuir. Harry Potter a besoin de quelqu’un de noble, dans tous les sens du terme, pour l’élever. Le destin va choisir Julian Alfred Pankratz, Vicomte de Lettenhove aussi connu comme Jaskier, Barde du Loup Blanc. 

01 - 02 - 03

The Hobbit/The Witcher

A brooder, no matter the name (En cours)

Il y a des choses qui ne changent jamais!

AO3

Kaamelott

La Reine Guenièvre (En cours)

Elle en avait assez de passer pour une idiote. Assez de voir son époux et son roi au bras (et dans le lit) d'autres femmes. Elle avait été gentille jusqu'à présent, il était maintenant temps qu'il fasse connaissance avec la vraie Guenièvre. 

AO3

Numb3rs:

Babies Files (3 OS):

Charlie has great news for his family. It's Don turn! Charlie and Don argue about babies’ custody. 

AO3

Idaho and California Boys (WIP)

Charlie proves to Colby that he still trusts him. For Numb3rs100 Community

AO3

Tolkien:

Sweet Berry (2 OS WIP):

Berry Baggins isn't your typical Hobbit Lady. Berry Baggins isn't your typical Hobbit, period. And Gandalf and his dwarfs guests are going to learn it./ Berry wants a hair cut. Someone disagrees.

AO3

Torchwood

Les 5 morts de Gwen Cooper... (Terminée)

...vues par ses coéquipiers et celle où elle se tua elle-même!

Gwen Cooper a le don de mettre le pied dans le plat. Ça devait bien finir par lui retomber dessus.

AO3

Twilight:

The Heart Has Its Reasons (OS):

Anna was the last to have been changed by Carlisle in 1952. Although she is in love with Edward, he only sees her as a sister. Arrived at Forks, she will try to forget her one-sided love. Might a wolf help her? Drabble written for a contest on Hp/Twilight and others Universes. Theme: Eternity

AO3

The Wolf and The Vampire (Complete)

"It came out of nowhere." Not for Bella lovers. For the community Twi-Slash Drabble 100

AO3

The Witcher: (Ask Me)

Love The Way How You Just Sit In The Corner And Brood (OS):

Jaskier is always very smooth when flirting, except when confronted to exceptionally beautiful people. And it took 20 years to Geralt to take the hint.

Tumblr (AO3)

Lovely Bottom (OS):

Geralt: 'I'm not your friend.' Jaskier: 'Really? Oh, you usually just let strangers rub chamomile onto your lovely bottom?'

How the 'lovely bottom's massage' could have happened.

AO3

A magic like no others (OS)

When a cursed sorceress is awaken in an abandoned tower of Kaer Morhen, none of its inhabitants would have imagined how much theirs lives were about to change.

AO3

Melitele’s Blessing (WIP)

Melitele looked at her child, her beautiful songbird, whose heart was full of love for the Witcher. She saw also all his pain and suffering and decided that enough was enough. Her boy will have someone to love and who will love him in return even if it’s not the White Wolf. After all, it’s not her fault that he can’t recognize a blessing when she send him one.

AO3 - 01 - 02 - 03

The Phoenix’ Song (OS)

The Witcher was unlocatable and the Witch just burned a good part of their army. But the Bard. Oh, the Bard was an easy prey.

AO3

Under My Skin (WIP):

On your skin is written what people think of you. Geralt of Rivia only had seen « monster », « freak » and others insults. Until he met a bard, in Posada.

01 (AO3), 02 (AO3), 03 (AO3)

Witchertober 2020 (Complete)

For the Witchertober 2020 list by @bamf-jaskier. Drabbles. Rating G to M. A story in 31 drabbles.

AO3 - Tumblr

Forest (OS)

She was done! You hear! Done with her brother antics! G

Tumblr

Bows And Arrows 2022

Masterlist

11 Drabbles featuring Eskel and Lil’Bleater

The Sandman Masterlist

[heart-motif-moved]

Begin Statement.

Pairing(s): Jonathan/Sam

Word count: 1,511

A/N: This is my first time writing for TMA! I hope it's good; might end up making more of these! Feedback appreciated very much!

Reblogs also appreciated ; this took a LONG time!!

There was a new guy.

Sam always knew whenever they hired someone. They didn't let it get to them - better to hide between the shelves that pierced their ghostly form in a way they never quite got used to than attempt to spook the workers and have someone excorcise them. A book or two dropped on the heads of the employees who disturbed their archive? Clearly an accident. No outside forces here.

And there was a new guy.

This really hadn't meant much, and if it had bothered them... well they'd just be on the more mischievous side, wouldn't they? They were subtle enough that the people there'd be none the wiser.

The new guy - oh, Sam wished they knew his name, but no one thought to notify the secret resident ghost - the new guy was apparently an archivist. Sam hadn't known the last archivist; in fact, they've only inhabited the building for a month or so. If he was an archivist... that meant he'd be around Sam a lot more than the other employees, right?

The pale indigo ghost flitted through a dense section of the archive (disorganized as everywhere else, but the pages strewn about the dusty shelves were comforting). They weren't able to turn invisible or anything close, save from hiding in the floors or walls. Was it only a matter of time until their discovery?

They twisted around to face the ceiling, a low grumble in their throat. What were they to do? They liked the archives, they weren't ready to just up and leave if new guy found them.

A pale blue hand absentmindedly began to tap on the old oak shelf beneath them.

They didn't want to leave. Tap tap tap tap. New guy would almost certainly find them eventually. Tap tap tap tap. As far as they knew, the people here didn't like "malevolent" spirits. Tap tap tap ta-

Oh! They sat up quickly, firmly merging their head into the ceiling. Ew.

They removed their head from the aforementioned ceiling, beginning to string a little plan in their mind. Sam wasn't a malevolent spirit by any means; why, they hardly ever threw books at people! If they could befriend new guy... they'd surely be allowed to stay! Plus they'd gain a friend! It's a win-win.

Well... 'No,' they thought, shaking their head. Sam was sure he'd be nice, and she was sure-er that she was a pleasant person to be around, spirit or otherwise!

Her thoughts were cut off by the creaky opening of the old oak doors, echoing throughout the older archives - oh, was that him? Sam could learn more about him, she realized, sitting up quickly.

...As soon as she got her head out of the ceiling.

---

Sam floated through the walls, as uncomfortable as they were, occasionally peeking out to see where she was going - and, more importantly, keep an eye on the new guy... Jonathan. She resisted the urge to test the name on her tongue, the echoing nature of the archives waiting to betray her at the slightest of noises.

No, instead she floated through the walls in hopes of gaining a better view. They hadn't actually seen him properly yet, apart from the back of his head and a little nametag. 'Jonathan.' They resisted again to say it aloud - being on the more vocal side didn't seem to mix well with being a ghost, although they did tend to stay silent until getting to know someone.

When they were alive enough to meet people, at least.

They shook their head. Not the point right now! Figuring out how to approach Jonathan despite her non-aliveness and his very much-aliveness was the main issue.

Sam poked out of the wall again, partially hidden behind a bookshelf filled with dusty, unkempt files, hands gripping the shelves for purchase she didn't need.

Oh. Oh he was pretty.

He seemed preoccupied with a laptop, brows furrowed, one hand tapping away at the keyboard and another tangled in his dark hair. Somehow he hadn't noticed the now bright pink ghost just barely hidden by a few shelves. They sunk into the floor, waiting for him to finish... whatever it was he was doing.

She crept closer. As it turned out she had no plan, and was still unsure how to aproach him short of a 'boo'.

...Well, it would fit, wouldn't it? One little jumpscare. A common icebreaker. Probably.

"Useless thing," he grumbled, apparently fed up with the now closed laptop. Sam liked his voiced a normal amount. He placed the laptop aside, instead looking over some old files, probably taken from the archives.

Sam sank deeper into the floor. They did not want to stay and wait for him to finish whatever was in those files, as nice as his face looked as he was reading.

'Maybe I can just..?' She floated up beside him, reaching out and lightly, just barely tapping him on the shoulder. A grand reaction of brushing off his coat.

"Don't ignore m-" she slapped her hands over her mouth, but the whispered words had already tumbled out; Jonathan she spun in his little desk chair, wide, annoyed (and admittedly rather beautiful) eyes staring into her own, only slightly less corporeal ones. "Um.. hi, new guy!"

He adjusted his coat; was the shock of a ghost was already wearing off? "Who are you, entity?"

"Er." Though she felt more at ease around him (why, though? It was a question for another time), she wasn't used to talking so quickly after meeting - ghost or otherwise. "Ah, um, name's Sam." Great entrance. Sam just knew her head was pink.

Jon didn't seem to notice or care of her stuttering. "Hm. And you're a...?"

"Ghost."

"I was concerned that you'd say that."

"Oh." She sank a little where she floated. "Um-m, what's your, ah, name?"

He adjusted his glasses in a way that Sam would say she found cute, although that could apply to most of him. "Jonathan Sims, newest head archivist. Normally I'm... hesitant to accept the odd as supernatural in nature, but considering I'm under the influence of neither drugs nor alcohol and unstressed save for this laptop's refusal to cooperate," he took a moment to scowl at said laptop, "I feel it would be out of place to deny you without substantial evidence, especially considering my," he paused, glancing around the archive. "Occupation."

Sam felt a smile working onto her face. He seemed like the smart, sensible type. "I feel inclined to ask what you're doing here," he said.

Oh, oh, that's right! She could explain that she was nice (and she was, mischief excluded), and then she could stay! Probably! Maybe! "I'm here because- ah, umm," she stumbled - she knew what she wanted to say, but the words tripped her up and left her with frustration.

Jon shifted, apparently getting comfortable. "Take as much time as you need," he hummed gently. Sam felt herself melt a little in a way that was most definitely normal. She took a breath, slowly and carefully explaining that she didn't haunt a particular place or thing or person, instead seemingly able to wander as freely as she'd like - though she found comfort and safety among physical knowledge, carefully written and carelessly stored in the shelves of the archives.

Sam had stumbled over her words a little - a lot, actually - but Jon, despite a colder introduction, was gentle and patient in a way that she wasn't used to, as though he was happy to wait for her instead of feeling obligated or annoyed.

"So, uh, like- don't make me leave, maybe?"

Jon put a hand on his chin. "The nature of these archives is to catalogue and, in some cases, investigate into accounts of the unusual and out-of-place occurrences... regardless, it seems, of veritability." He seemed frustrated at that, and like so much of him, it made Sam's... well. It made where her heart used to be flutter. "So, it seems only natural - and, perhaps," he smiled just a little, "lucky, even, that you've found yourself residency in the archives."

"Oh, okay," she breathed. She was... never great at expressing gratitude. Jon... seemed to understand, though. He held a hand out towards her, smile gone, though he still had an air of gentleness and care. "Allow me to reintroduce myself, now that we've established that. I am Jonathan Sims, and, as you know, head archivist of the Magnus Institute."

She took his hand, aware of how warm and nice it felt, uncomfortably aware of her ghostly form creating small heart shapes, mostly focused around her head, which was also now a stark pink against her normally indigo frame. "N-nice to meet you, uh, properly, then," she mumbled, hopeful that he'd simply ignore or pass off the odd effects as normal for her.

Jon, ever the scientific type (she assumed at least), did not do that; he seemed enraptured by the phenomena, watching the shapes grow as he brushed her hand lightly against his lips.

"Likewise."

[fulgensun]

; 009

While I have no doubts his mother’s death was a traumatic event for Tidus, his true first and direct contact with death is much more violent than her passing away. Back then, he had already Auron keeping an eye on him, and while her passing away surely was a big shock for a child who quickly developed a visceral fear of abandonment and solitude, I doubt it can be compared to the tragedy he had to witness on the shore of Djose.

It’s implied the Dream city of Zanarkand is a utopistic reality that knows no hard struggle, no illness, no sudden deaths. People conduct a beautiful, fulfilling life and create families with each other-- the gene pool of the city is quite the confusing one because the city, although huge, remains isolated (the FFX2 Ultimania blames the weird genetic pool of DZ for Tidus’ weird resemblance to Shuyin, whose perfect lookalike that might have been dreamt by a Fayth at some point in 1000 years, and might be one of Tidus’ long lost ancestors). And its inhabitants don’t even think anything besides Zanarkand exists. This enchantment was broken just sporadically, Tidus’ familiar tragedy being an example; people in Dream Zanarkand don’t die, don’t disappear, nor they usually get weird thoughts. Its inhabitants don’t think about death. And Ultimania says that if they do, or start developing existential thoughts and questions like ‘Why do I live?’ or ‘What’s my purpose in this world?’, their mind gets promptly reset by Yu Yevon.

If Tidus ever questioned the meaning of life or if he even wondered further and ‘philosophically’ about his mother’s death, then he cannot remember it. The Destroyer, as the Fayth call him, might have played with his thoughts and conveniently made him stop questioning life and death as part of his existence. He was still a dream, after all. Of course though... one day his mom is there, the next she’s not -- the memory of her passing away isn’t completely wiped out. Only the more intrusive thoughts a “living being” may develop are manipulated and thrown away. Her death destroys him. It could be speculated the force of Yu Yevon playing with his Sims Dreams’ minds might have 

The moment he’s taken to Spira, he becomes something more than a dream. His mind is his own for the first time and 100% of it can be now used to self-loathe and be angsty haha; fully sentient, the mind-controlling entity has no more power over his thoughts. He confronts the concept of death early off, in Kilika, yet not directly. Operation Mi’ihen is an announced failure and after Sin’s tremendous attack, he wakes up on the shore full of corpses of Crusaders who died there. I find it one of the most powerful scenes of the entire game, it twists my insides no matter how many times I see or play through it, it’s very eerie.

He wakes up, still dizzy for the explosion, and finds countless bodies lying around him. It’s a vision that would bother anyone, but his in particular, now free to rationalize the thought as freely as it could, just takes the sight the worst possible way. Even with Gatta still alive, he can’t help but mentally lose it... he rushes to the sea and just thinks he can outrun and stop Sin. With Gatta dead, a new friend so similar to him in many aspects, the scene only gets worse. Some of his comments, if examining the bodies are tremendously sad:

Rest in peace // Still so young // A peaceful death. Probably had no clue //  Too late to help them //  Staring at the sky, lifeless //  Reclining, breathless //  Instant, painless death //  Slightly warm, but no sign of breathing.

It changes him. He gets more serious, he understands Yuna’s mission better and is deeply proved by the death of his friend. Crusaders even had children, it’s horrible to think about -- not to mention he may already suspect the Temple knew of the tragedy ready to unfold and did nothing to help as a way to only gather the survivors and welcome them back. Never before that has Tidus ever felt death so real and so tragic. His mother’s death bears a bitter, sad kind of pain... but the dead Crusaders around him, on the sand, (or what remains of the knights, given the gravitational attack of Sin literally pulverized many of them), sure bear a different weight on his heart and on a mind which is finally free to process the absurdities of those deaths.

[nitr0glycer1ne]

Ducktober/Duckvember 9 - Headcanon

Hi! My writing schedule for this is very hectic, but I've been working a lot lately and Death Stranding is out, so both of these have been keeping me busy... sorry!! I'll do my best to catch up on duck fics! I did a combo with this one since it features 3 headcanons of mine :) More on them in the notes at the end, so I don't spoil the story! Also first time writing Panchito and José so I’m stocked!! Enjoy!

It was supposed to be a calm Saturday in the McDuck Mansion.

Mrs Beakley was cleaning the hallways, Huey was absorbed in trying to earn his calligraphy Junior Woodchuck badge, Dewey was filming yet another episode of Dewey Dew-night in the triplets' room (even though it was the middle of the afternoon, since his filming sessions had been rescheduled courtesy of Donald and Della’s joint efforts), Louie was teaching Webby the ropes of advanced kart drifting techniques in his favorite racing game, Della was busy doing some maintenance work on the Cloud Slayer, and Launchpad was at an amusement park with Drake and his friend's adopted daughter Gosalyn. And since everyone was busy doing rather calm activities, Scrooge had taken the opportunity to sit in the library, comfortably seated in his favorite armchair, newspaper on his lap and a cup of warm tea on the small table near him, within hand's reach.

It was supposed to be a calm Saturday – “supposed” being the keyword.

Suddenly, an abominable noise akin to a deafening mix between a dying screech and an explosion vibrated through the whole house, startling all its inhabitants. Right after that first audible assault, a guitar riff resonated in every corridor and every room, its melody (if you could call it that) generously peppered with false notes. And as if it wasn't enough, a stream of somewhat rhythmic banging was added, and soon after what could only be described as the sound that someone recklessly stepping on a piano would make.

“What is that?!” Louie screamed, more annoyed than scared. He had looked forward to spending a normal day for once and was most displeased with the horrid cacophony. “I have no idea!” Webby answered excitedly, dropping her controller. “Let's investigate!”

The girl dashed out of the room, and Louie had no choice but to follow her. He really didn't want to, but the sooner they found the source of the disturbance, the sooner he could get back to his video game. As the ducklings were running in the corridors, trying to find the room the problem was coming from, they came across a very irritated Dewey.

“I was doing an interview!” he explained. “Whoever or whatever is making that noise will have to do some serious apologizing!”

Louie rolled his eyes, and the three kids kept running. They ended up in the entrance hall, the noise getting louder with every step; when they reached the bottom of the stairs, Della, Huey and Mrs. Beakley were already busy trying to locate the source of the noise. Said noise was still barely bearable; Huey in particular was looking particularly distressed, his hands tightly protecting his ears.

“What is going on here?!” Della yelled, her voice hard to hear above the cacophony. “I thought it was you, Dewey!” “What?!” the duckling shouted, offended. “Why would you think that?!” “Shut up!” Louie screamed as he held Huey’s right shoulder and pressed his older brother close to him, to comfort him and do his best to soothe his nerves. “You’re making it worse!”

Dewey was about to answer the youngest triplet but was cut short by his great-uncle joining them in the hall. Curiously, although he should have been the most annoyed by the sudden racket, Scrooge looked tired and resigned rather than angry. That startled even Mrs Beakley, who couldn’t help but ask:

“Mr McDuck, do you have any idea what-” “Yes, I do, Beakley.” he sighed, rolling his eyes and making his way to the manor’s right wing. “And I’ll put an end to it.”

Webby was the first to follow him, followed closely by Dewey and her grandmother. Louie stayed behind with Huey, waiting until his brother’s breathing had slowed down before they joined the rest of the group. They found themselves in the garage, where the noise was so loud it was painful to bear.

Since Launchpad had moved to live with Drake and Gosalyn the week before, the mansion’s garage had been eerily quiet without the constant, faint sound of Darkwing Duck reruns, or more recently, old rock songs. Now, however, the garage was anything but quiet, and the manor’s inhabitants understood why when they opened the door and found themselves face to face with what seemed like a fever dream.

Donald was wearing an old, tattered flannel shirt Della was sure he must have gotten as a birthday present twenty years before, and he was playing on an equally old electric guitar, his fingers running on the instrument with a surprising speed, but with a disastrous result. Donald had also combed his hair to resemble a fringe, falling on his forehead, stopping right before his eyes that were tightly shut closed as he was passionately shouting in what was probably an attempt at singing. Next to him, an antique accordion was propped on a chair, next to a flute and an acoustic guitar.

He wasn’t alone: two other persons were with him, and the four children were surprised to recognize him as Donald’s best friends, the ones they had met back in Brazil.

Panchito still had his sombrero on, but he was wearing tight denim pants and a leather jacket with shining spikes on the shoulders rather than the bright red outfit he had worn when they first met him. He was also singing, and was sitting behind worn drums, playing them with all his might, the sticks banging ferociously against the instrument. José was as into their “musical number” as his friends: he was standing behind a keyboard, hands expertly gliding on the keys, playing somewhat better than Panchito and Donald – which wasn’t saying much. He had gone through a wardrobe change too, wearing a white shirt with more buttons undone than fastened and slick black pants. José was singing his heart out as well, and sometimes his left hand left the keyboard to reach for a tambourine and shake it for a bit.

Huey and Della were in absolute disbelief at the scene, while Louie snorted and quickly reached for his phone, recording the disastrous attempt of a musical performance. Webby was confused, blinking quickly and looking at her grandmother for answers to her silent questions, Mrs Beakley answering only with a tired sigh. Scrooge was about to charge towards the trio, cane in his hand, but Dewey was quicker and louder:

“UNCLE DONALD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

His scream was so loud that Donald and his friends stopped immediately, drawing sighs of relief and pleasure from everyone else. He opened his eyes, and found himself face to face with a very angry duckling.

“Oh, bom dia, Donald’s family!” José greeted, not fazed in the least by Dewey’s tone or attitude. “It’s been a while!” Panchito added, smiling. “Yeah, yeah, hello. It’s not everyday that I can get prestigious guests on my show, and just when I was about to start interviewing Glomgold, you had to do… whatever that is!” “Glomgold?!” Scrooge almost choked as he heard his rival’s name. “Yeah!” Huey chimed in, having finally calmed down since the source of his discomfort had disappeared. “Do you really have to play so loud?” “And so false?” Louie added, saying out loud what everyone thought.

Donald looked a bit distraught, and Panchito and José looked at each other, confused.

“We weren’t playing out of key!” the rooster countered. “Si, it has been a while since we last practiced, but-” “It was atrocious.” Della provided. “Aw, come on, Dellita!” Panchito brushed her off. He stood up and ran to properly greet her, giving her a tight hug. He hadn’t seen her since she had visited Donald between two flights during his college days, and his duck friend had told him and José all about what had happened to her. “Come here! I’m so happy to see you!” “Sim, Della, you haven’t aged a day!” José smiled after giving her a hug of his own. “Flattery isn’t gonna make me less mad about you!”

Donald couldn’t help but feel a strange sensation in his stomach as he saw his twin sister reuniting with his best friend, a warm feeling tinted with nostalgia that brought a tear to his eye. He blinked it away, and when he opened his eyes, it was to find himself face to face with Scrooge, who was looking particularly crossed.

“Lad, the “no band practice in the manor without my permission” rule still applies.” “Uncle Scr-” “Band practice?!” Webby squealed, running away from Panchito ruffling her hair to Scrooge and Donald’s side. “I didn’t realize! It’s true that the three of you were the Three Caballeros! Since you said that last time, I did some research but didn’t find anything online!” “We were very, ehm, how do you say? Ah, underground!” José provided. “But I could give you a cassette we recorded. I have several back home.” “Aww, you kept them?” Panchito beamed, throwing his arms around his friend. “I’d love to, Mr Carioca!” “Please, call me José, docinha.” “Why… why would you want that?!”

As Webby explained how happy she was to put her hands on a tangible piece of Donald Duck’s history, Panchito and José decided to back their friend up, since said friend was looking a little guilty under Scrooge’s severe glare.

“Scrooge, sorry! We were so happy to celebrate the Three Caballeros’ revival that we might have gotten a bit carried away!” the parrot apologized with a smile. “Yeah!” Panchito added, firmly patting the old duck’s back. “We’ll be more careful in the future, promise!” “What do you mean, in the future?” Mrs Beakley sternly asked, her head already aching at the perspective of having to endure more of this torture. “You didn’t tell them, Donald?!” José gasped.

The duck rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“I… was waiting for the right moment and didn’t have the occasion?” “Told us what, Donald?” Scrooge squinted, sensing something not pleasant in the least was about to happen. “Donald said that since your garage was free now, we had all the space we wanted to practice and work on new songs for our upcoming album and concerts! Los Three Caballeros are officially BACK!” Panchito loudly exclaimed, José smiling in approval and Donald feeling very, very little under his uncle and Mrs Beakley’s intense stares.

A collective groan ensued, save for Webby’s enthusiastic “Yeah!”.

-

It was my first time writing Panchito and José, I hope I got them right! I took Spanish as a 2nd language (French being my mothertongue, English was my 1st foreign language in school, Russian my 3rd and Latin my 4th. Sadly I've lost almost all of my knowledge in Russian...) and don't speak Portuguese or Brazilian Portuguese so feel free to correct me. More on the 3 headcanons:

1) Sometime after season 2, Launchpad moves out of McDuck manor and goes to live with Drake and Gosalyn, although he still stays close to Scrooge and his family, especially Dewey! It starts as a simple roommates situation, but since I love Drakepad it ends with them in a relationship :)

2) Huey is gifted. It's probably me projecting, but Huey has a lot of traits often found in gifted people: being book smart, having interest in always learning new things and skills, trying to understand everything, being kind and trying to be as helpful as possible, and being easily anxious and prone to anger outbursts. I could go into detail about this haha, in fact I probably will in the form of a fic later in this challenge that will have Huey interacting with someone I also headcanon as gifted c: 2.5) And I can see Louie as being the one to calm him down the most easily when Huey has a spike of anxiety or a panic attack. Louie is good at reading people and he's also quite sensitive, which is why I can see him looking out for his big brother. Dewey just doesn't realize it, I think he has more difficulty reading people and understanding how they feel, especially if they try to hide it.

3) And of course the main focus of this fic, THE THREE CABALLEROS GETTING BACK TOGETHER !!! I really wanna see this in the show, even if it's just in passing. We know that Panchito and José will be in S3, and I really would like to see them and Donald playing music, even if it's just in a flashback or something!!

[pinpuku]

team+partner request for @timeshenanigansahoy

original request + description under “keep reading”

Zodiac + MBTI: I’m a gemini (May 23rd if you need the day!), and an ISFJ!

Favorites: I really love cats (lions and housecats??? heck yes??), rabbits, and blue ringed octopi! My favorite colors are pink and blue, and my favorite areas are suburban/rural areas and cities! I generally prefer colder weather! I’m weak for cutesey stuff that’s pink and has hearts or strawberries or that kind of stuff on it tbh

Hobbies: writing, reading, drawing, and playing video games! I’m a big sucker for rpg and fantasy games, but I’ve got a deep love for farming simulators (like Stardew Valley and Rune Factory!), and a secret, only slightly shame filled love for dating sims. I also am really into music, I play an instrument (the viola, if it matters!) and I make music on a program on my computer sometimes! Other times I’m just making playlists on 8tracks lol

Aspirations: I’m currently trying to figure out some sort of long term goal in terms of career, but I’m thinking of going into child care! As for the goals I do have - I’d really love to be able to meet my online friends in person one day! They mean a lot to me and it’d be nice to finally see them and visit them!

Personality: I’m generally a very positive person, I tend to stay optimistic (but with realism - my motto is “Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best) and I try to see the brighter side of things. I’m a very caring and empathetic person, and I’m really in tune with myself and others. I’m very creative, and I enjoy helping others. I’m trusting and forgiving, sometimes to a fault, even when it might hurt me. I get tunnel vision easily, and my emotions are pretty strong and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I tend to be volatile with my moods, and I have mood swings a lot, although I do generally have a good grip on myself and the emotions I let affect others. I’m very talkative and energetic (though it’s easy to take a blow to my motivation and energy, considering I’ve got depression) and I get rambly a lot, as you can see from this submission lol

Hi! Let me introduce you to your new team!

♡ Your partner would be Audino! Audino is an intelligent & helpful pokemon, often used as nurse aides. Any field that requires a gentle helping hand is right up Audino’s alley! Child care is a great environment for Audino. Audino is also known for having an excellent auditory sense, so soothing sounds & music will delight an Audino. They are great support Pokemon, as they can offer both physical & emotional healing. Audino is hardy & can put up with a lot of outside stimuli, so children yelling / city noises don’t bother them too much despite their acute hearing. They are a species that commonly inhabits urban areas naturally.

♡ Chatot has the natural ability to mimic almost any sound, including human speech. Most pokemon are able to understand human speech with training & time to various degrees, but Chatot could very well learn how to talk in theory. As chatty pokemon in general, they will love to “talk” with you even if they don’t yet understand what you or themselves are saying. They are also musically inclined. Most sounds they learn will be implemented in one of their many songs, and they absolutely love to hear music of all kinds. 

♡ Lilligant is another musical pokemon, being a natural dancer. It will dance even if there is no music, but they do love a nice song to compliment their movements. Lilligant is a more difficult pokemon to raise however, as they require very gentle & diligent care. Having a Lilligant with a beautifully bloomed flower is a testament to a trainer’s skill & heart! It also releases a lovely aroma that changes based on its home. This pokemon often refuses to mate until late in life, as their flower will most likely wilt & die afterwords. So breeding is not recommended by anyone besides professionals! 

♡ Carbink is a crystalline pokemon that lives underground or in caves. It is one of the few pokemon that is confirmed to be able to telepathically communicate with humans, so another actual buddy to talk with like a normal friend! Skitty is undoubtedly one of the most popular pokemon-pets worldwide. Although it might be difficult to gain its full trust initially, it is a great pal. Skitty is playful, energetic & peaceful by nature. Many love to play with children, too!

♡ Drampa is famous for its desire to socialize with human children, even in the wild. It will go out of its way to visit schools and playgrounds, sometimes daily. Parents feel secure about leaving their kids at a facility with a Drampa, as they can also be extremely fierce & powerful protectors!

I hope you like your new team! I think this one is really cute ^~^

[pride-vns-blog]

LGBTQ VN Week: Day Three! (6/20)

Welcome back for my third day of LGBTQ visual novel recommendations! Remember to check out my first post’s “One note before we get started” section to get a handle on what this recommendation list is, what it’s not, and why I made it, if you haven’t already!

The four visual novels I’ve got lined up to talk about today move beyond endlessly bleak apocalypses to focus instead on persistence and hopes for a brighter future — Spincut’s Who We Are Now, Sofdelux Studio’s Disaster Log C, and Worst Girls Games’ We Know The Devil, followed by a conversation with Jaime Scribbles Games about her upcoming As We Know It.

(Disclaimers: I’m somehow still into unique-looking apocalypse stories in the year 2018, so I backed both Who We Are Now and As We Know It on Kickstarter, and I also know the creators of Disaster Log C personally.)

Head on in for comic book supervillain jokes, super important teddy bears, one hell of a summer camp, and juggling your full-time job with the end of the world!

WHO WE ARE NOW (SPINCUT)

Itch.io Tagline: "A queer, post-apocalyptic visual novel about love at the end of the world.” Genre(s): Romance; slice of life; science fiction. Release Date: December 12th, 2017 (Xander’s Story); June 18th, 2018 (Jesse’s Story); TBA (Ray’s Story & Nathan’s Story). Content Warnings: Multiple explicit sex scenes; discussion of traumatic violence.

Who We Are Now, a visual novel following protagonist Wes as he offers comfort to the isolated fellow residents of a post-apocalyptic town named Home under the advice of town leader Mohra. The backdrop for Who We Are Now is distinctly science fiction, but the worldbuilding elements are interestingly vague enough that the characters only refer to the apocalypse more in terms of how it impacted their lives, rather than concrete details about exactly which places were destroyed on what dates and how. That’s personally something I prefer for character-focused pieces like this, and an interesting contrast to the hyper-detailed way AAA studios approach the apocalypse — it works in Who We Are Now, especially in the instances where the characters react differently to the circumstances of their situation or share different information, because it’s what they’ve retained.

Although Who We Are Now is short and largely still in “preorder”, according to its Itch.io page, both of the two relatively complete Stories — starring romanceable characters Xander and Jesse, respectively — offer distinct enough stories with memorable characters that I feel comfortable saying their two companion pending routes (Ray and Nathan) will all be well worth the price and the wait. Spincut’s script treats the two love interests’ struggles with society and their respective traumas carefully, never really offering an answer or a single moment that stood out to me as being a demand for them to just “get over it”. Both Jesse and Xander bristle, especially in the later half, and neither Xander’s struggle to control his mysterious electric powers nor Jesse’s slow progress fitting in as part of the society in Home go seamlessly. Even Wes’s personality feels realistically flawed; as a character who’s lived for years on his own, there’s moments in the script where his self-reliance and avoidance gets in the way of honest and open communication.

As a relationship-focused story with a heavy emphasis on character development, Who We Are Now’s writing delivers some solid growth and reasonable conflicts in a minimal amount of time, especially in Xander’s Story! Without going into too many spoilers, his convictions about the “bad guys” outside of the community of Home and his struggles with self-worth throughout the story build up to a believable, sympathetic end — his Story raises some interesting questions about violence in a post-apocalyptic world that, combined with how different it felt from Jesse’s perspective, made me all the more excited to see Ray and Nathan’s viewpoints on the apocalypse.

(Also, the sex scenes are 👌.)

The Xander’s Story and Jesse’s Story chapters of Who We Are Now are available now for a total price $15, a price that includes the eventual release of Ray’s Story and Nathan’s Story, both of which currently TBA. For more updates, you can follow developer Spincut on Itch.io or Twitter.

DISASTER LOG C (SOFDELUX STUDIO)

Itch.io Tagline: "It has been raining ceaselessly for 7 days...” Genre(s): Comedy; mild horror. Release Date: October 23rd, 2017. Content Warnings: See Itch.io page.

(This section contains mild, vague spoilers for Disaster Log C’s ending. It’s short and free, you might want to give it a try first!)

When it comes to the four apocalypse stories on this list, they’ve all got (thankfully) relatively different approaches to handling the end of the world, but Disaster Log C’s approach is one of the few visual novels that actually surprised me with its later swerve into a revelation I hadn’t totally expected. (I’m trying to be vague enough as possible, but I seriously didn’t see that plot point coming and can appreciate the worldbuilding that made it easy to accept as a “how did I miss that?” kind of fact once it’s revealed!) Protagonist Mell’s no-nonsense approach perfectly serves the story’s steady pace, punctuated by Mell’s own “Disaster Logs” of the ocean rising up to swallow the island she’s lived on her whole life, and that pace is fed into perfectly with the frantic nature of knife-wielding Issa’s demands about where to go, what to do, and how much alcohol she wants to drink. 

There’s a goofiness to Disaster Log C that never undercuts the story’s more serious moments — Mell’s struggle with the end of the world she’s always known and Issa’s own relative detachment from that world as it exists are both given more than enough space in the text, and the story never holds their growth back for the sake of slapstick. But there’s plenty of slapstick and a lot of absolutely hilarious moments, served equally well by both script and story, that are well-placed enough that it becomes clearer and clearer in hindsight exactly when Mell and Issa became as close as they can be by the story’s end. Their dynamic is a delight and well worth reading for, whether it’s in the most serious of heart-to-hearts or a scene where they’re arguing with one another about how much food to eat.

But above all else, the thing that really sells me on Disaster Log C — and Sofdelux Studio’s previous dating sim, Mermaid Splash Passion Festival — is how sincere it is. It’s easy for apocalyptic fiction to be smug, or grim, or just plain dark, but Disaster Log C manages to capture the real grief inherent in its premise without ever plunging into hopelessness. The world Issa and Mell inhabit is a beautifully illustrated one filled with plenty of jokes and triumphant fishing CGs, but it’s also a cruel world, and it’s still very much the story of how everything Mell has ever known disappeared in the blink of an eye. That’s a delicate balance to walk, for sure, but it’s a balance Disaster Log C walks seamlessly enough that its wonderfully optimistic True Ending had me in tears.

Disaster Log C is available now for free, in both English and Korean. Both halves of Sofdelux Studio also have individual Itch.io pages (DCS’s here and Nami’s here), or you can follow their shared Itch.io for more Sofdelux Studio projects!

WE KNOW THE DEVIL (PILLOWFIGHT, WORST GIRLS GAMES)

Steam Tagline: "Follow meangirl Neptune, tomboy Jupiter, and shy shy Venus as they get to know each other--but one always gets left out.” Genre(s): Group relationship horror. Release Date: February 15th, 2016. Content Warnings: Religious abuse; blood; character death; implications of sexual harrassment/abuse.

(This section contains spoilers for the plot and endings of We Know The Devil. Sorry! Please play it!)

It would be difficult — if not totally impossible — for me to talk about why I liked We Know The Devil or what it's doing in this group of visual novels without spoiling the ending in one way or another. (I don't think I could even refer to Venus, my hands-down favorite character, in a way that felt natural without dodging around her pronouns like a middle schooler playing volleyball.) For a while, I considered putting this in the creative design category and trying to avoid spoilers anyway! There’s been of fascinating pieces that I’ve loved reading about how We Know The Devil’s unique choice system operates; its “choose two characters out of three” model is smart, well-executed, and offers a lot of character development in both the duo you observe and the one you don’t in every playthrough.

But the piece of this story that I’ve always loved the most has been its ending and the way I feel that it functions as a work of apocalyptic fiction. While the other three entries on this list are all set either at the dawn of the apocalypse or well after the apocalypse has literally “dawned”, We Know The Devil’s apocalypse is more quasi-metaphorical and much more closely linked to its ending. If you read it 100% literally, the “three worst girls since Eve” ascend in all the ways they were never supposed to be and end the world; if you read it strictly metaphorically, they still become more removed from the all-encroaching, endlessly painful social standards that have been forced upon them. And in that case, it’s even more the “end of the world” for their family or the religious authority figures around them to see that self-satisfaction and acceptance instead of the quiet repression and shame, isn’t it?

I can’t deny that a lot of my fondness for this kind of reading is a deeply personal one, but I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. (If anything, I think how many personal reactions there have been to We Know The Devil is a testament — ha! — to the nuanced writing and worldbuilding.) The legacy of religious abuse in the name of Christianity, specifically Irish Catholicism, is something that’s haunted my own family for generations. It’s dictated who got married and who couldn’t get divorced, it’s been the reason some of my friends were born and the reason some others died, and its impact is so irreversable that the guilt even gets passed down into generations that have barely attended a service. So for We Know The Devil’s true ending to take a lot of those religious hallmarks, that guilt from failing to live up to expectations, and then build up to a true ending where the rest of the world is damned for the way it treated Jupiter, Neptune, and Venus — without the true ending’s text ever condemning any of them for being teenagers who are willing to scorch the Earth, metaphorically or literally, and refuse to accept the pain they shouldn’t have to suffer? As a story about the end of three characters’ slice of the world, We Know The Devil one hell of an answer to the Christian idea of a Rapture, and one I prefer a thousand times over.

We Know The Devil is available now on sale for $1.99 (75% off), while you can try We Know The Demo for free on Itch.io; Worst Girls Games can be found on Twitter and Tumblr with more information about their upcoming project, Heaven Will Be Mine!

AS WE KNOW IT (JAIME SCRIBBLES GAMES)

Kickstarter Tagline: "A heavily branching visual novel, featuring love, friendship and life-sim elements in a future destroyed by the sun.” Genre(s): Romance; drama. Release Date: April 25th, 2018 (demo); TBA (final version). Content Warnings: Alcohol and drug use; violence; mature content.

As someone who really enjoyed Pinewood Island, Jaime Scribbles Games’ debut horror visual novel about college students trapped on an island with a murderer, I’ve been looking forward to As We Know It since I first saw initial character designs. The first demo definitely was what I’d been hoping it would be — although visually unfinished in places, given that the Kickstarter was largely to help fund purchase of its art assets like finished backgrounds and side character sprites — and the story about a post-apocalypse society that largely functioned but still ran into unexpected troubles instantly hooked me.

Interested in hearing a little more about protagonist Ashlynn’s dual focus on romance and maintaining a job, I reached out to Jaime with a couple questions to hear what she had to say about her upcoming visual nove.

First, congratulations on your Kickstarter reaching full funding and a bonus goal! I'm sure you've done a lot of this already during the funding period, but how would you pitch As We Know It to someone who'd never heard of it before?

A heavily branching visual novel with romance in a post-apocalyptic setting. Something along those lines.

Yeah, that sounds accurate to me! What's the experience in having run a successfully-funded Kickstarter for a visual novel been like? Are there any weird little details or things that you weren't expecting to have to deal with that have become surprisingly important?

Hm, I didn’t really know what to expect. I can’t say anything too unusual occurred.

Hey, no news is better than bad news, for sure!

Both As We Know It and Pinewood Island have had different mechanics alongside the romance -- in Pinewood Island's case, unpuzzling a brutal series of deaths, and in As We Know It's case, pursuing a career path in a crisis-stricken community -- that seem to be just as central to the storytelling, rather than a backdrop for romance. Can you talk a little bit about striking that balance?

It’s not easy! I have to make sure it makes sense for these characters to want to pursue romance despite whatever else is going on. That usually means making sure things don’t get too intense until more of a relationship is formed. Since romance is such a heavy aspect I hope people don’t question it too much lol

When you're designing characters' personalities or approving their visual depictions, what do you keep in mind? What do you think is the most important thing when it comes to building a lineup of characters to make them all feel distinct from one another?

I think of different personalities, different types of people I want to write, and then I try to make sure their looks are diverse and varied. As I write them their characteristics become more solid.

Were someone else to make a "dream visual novel" for you as a player, what do you think that visual novel would be like? In terms of genre, romance routes, etc?

Oh I’m not sure 🤔 probably a really good mash up of horror and romance with psychological elements and a mature story (no teenager plz) lol

😆 I'd definitely play that, too!

For my last question, what LGBTQ visual novels from other developers or creators are your personal recommendations?

Let’s see, Hustle Cat, Let's Meat Adam are my faves, but there are tons more out there!

Definitely! Thank you for the conversation, Jaime, I'm looking forward to seeing As We Know It's progress over the next couple months!

You can find more information about As We Know It on Kickstarter, try out the free demo on Itch.io and Steam, or keep up with progress on the game’s development blog!

[centaurianthropology]

The Magnus Archives ‘The Uncanny Valley’ (S03E07) Analysis

And to round out our narrator bonanza, who should return, but GERTRUDE!!  Whoo!  I had honestly worried that we might not be hearing more from her after Basira stopped passing Jon tapes, but I really should have known that Elias, in his horrifying fairy godmother fashion, would deliver.  And damn, did he deliver.  Because this episode is dense with information, and the stakes for the series just shot sky-high.  Come on in to hear what I think of ‘The Uncanny Valley’.

One, I love how Gertrude actually took on an ever-so-slight Welsh lilt for the duration of the narration.  Seriously, Jonny’s mother is a damn talented actress and I’m always over the moon when she comes on to do a narration.  Secondly, this story was hilarious!  Sebastian the utterly oblivious plumber just joined my top narrators of all times so easily by how obtuse he was.  Here’s this horrific drain full of offal and blood, and he’s just like, “Yep, that sure looks clogged.  Let me get that for you.”  Megan spends her time threatening to strip the flesh and fat from his body, and he’s just working away saying things like, “Uh-huh, that’s nice.”  He walks by faceless plastic beings stripping the flesh off the faces of disembodied human heads?  Eh. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

Megan must have thought she’d hired the single most hardcore plumber in all of Wales.  I’m deeply sad they dragged him back to meet their ‘boss’, You-Do-Not-Know-Me (some aspect of the Stranger, most likely).  I’m especially sad that it sounds like Sebastian died shortly after the statement was given.  Seriously, the most oblivious plumber in Wales has to hang out with Trevor the Vampire Slayer and defeat monsters by ignoring them to death.

On a more plot-rich note, wow was this dense.  We’ve been introduced to several major players, and we got a lot more information about the Unknowing.  What I thought was essentially a pissing match between the Stranger and the Beholding with the Institute hanging in the balance now seems a lot more … apocalyptic in nature.  

Gertrude mentions a ‘world Orsinov hopes to bring about’.  The Unknowing is perhaps not the destruction of an Archive as much as it is a radical shift in supernatural power that upsets everything.  Maybe even enough that everyone notices all the forces they’ve been ignoring or not noticing.  Right now, humanity is protected specifically because all the Great Old Ones are equally powerful, and locked in a stalemate.  They have their chosen pawns and allies, but most people aren’t a part of that.  But the Unknowing?  What might well be the death of the Beholding and the ascendancy of the Stranger?  That would change the entire tone of the world.

And the players in the Unknowing are also getting clearer.  I wouldn’t have guessed that the Circus of the Other was at the heart of it, but they do seem to be.  Gertrude states that someone named Orsinov and her ilk searching for their skin, and given the Russian name, and the almost-clown outfit that Megan was wearing, I think we can take it that this was either the Circus of the Other, or a branch thereof.  Orsinov, must have been the person who took over the Circus after Nikolai Denikin left. Although, knowing that the Circus are some sort of plastic beings that coat themselves in skin, I now have some major questions regarding Mr Denikin.  I had thought the doll in ‘Strange Music’ was a generic ‘creepy doll’ thing, but now that we have this information about the Circus, could that doll have actually been Nikolai Denikin?  Gertrude had previously stated that Denikin was one of the most dangerous members of the Circus.  Can a plastic being actually die?

And for that matter, can a plastic being covered in skin somehow have children and grandchildren? Because it certainly seems that Mr Denikin did.  Can such beings inhabit a skin so long it becomes them?  Can a being like that retire?  Denikin seems to have loved his granddaughter and cared for her up until his death.  What happened to bridge between a faceless plastic figure and a loving grandfather with a dark secret and a terrifying calliope?

We also know that Gertrude was directly acting against the Stranger by 2015.  She got in a proper scrap with the Circus, which injured her to the point she could barely stand.  But somehow she was victorious.  She managed to strip them of their skin so severely they all had to replace it. How?  I have to believe that she had come into at least a good part of the Archivist’s powers by then, but what were they?

It seems that at 2015, Gertrude was running out of time. The Circus were only a few years away from performing the Unknowing (or dancing the Unknowing, which is a particularly delightful touch).  Her attack on them was a direct attempt to prevent that, and she failed.  Which means that, most likely, they are still approaching that countdown, but without a fully-charged-up Archivist to combat it. Gertrude’s ‘alternative plans’ to prevent the Unknowing may well have been the destruction of the Institute with Leitner.  It’s hard to say at this point whether or not this was the moment she decided to destroy her life’s work.  If so, how would destroying the Institute prevent the Unknowing?  Is the Institute some key component of it somehow, and by destroying the Institue you scupper the plans?  Was the Library of Alexandria burned not as a part of a previous Unknowing, but as a way to prevent it?

If so, that’s not good, because that’s one step that Elias is not going to let anyone take.  He clearly wants to stop the Unknowing.  But he doesn’t want to lose the Institute to do it. He requires that there be another way, and he was willing to murder Gertrude and slot a completely inexperienced Archivist into her spot only a few years before the Unknowing to see that other way through.

And that means that Elias must be secretly shitting himself.  He’s trying to mold an Archivist not only to his specifications, but powerful enough to stop this Unknowing, and he’s having to do it within a few years.  Sims doesn’t have the luxury of time that Gertrude did to settle into his role.  No wonder she seemed so much saner than he is. She was given decades to come into her power and understand her role in everything.  He’s had a few months, and Elias is unlikely to let up on the pressure. He can’t.  Because Sims either fails or he dies, and he needs to do one or the other soon enough that Elias could slot in Sims’ replacement for the final fight. I think that’s also why Elias seems to be encouraging Martin and the other assistants to record.  If Jon fails, it would likely be one of them who would have to step into the role.

Things are looking dire, and I think that Sims might have been starting to get that by the end of the episode.  Although his reaction to the news that the end might be very seriously nigh was far more tempered than I might have expected, his near-panic-attack hearing the calliope music tells me that at least part of him knows things are going wrong in a hurry, and that there are monsters out there that are closing in on him.

But perhaps he has a lead. Jude Perry seems to be a high ranking member of the Lightless Flame, and was present at the abbatoir during this story. Gertrude mentions that, after the loss of Agnes, the group might have been trying to curry favor with the Stranger, but they seem chaotic.  Their alliances are unstable and their loyalties fickle.  They honestly seem a little like supernatural arsonists, who sort of just want to burn everything without much political agenda.  Or at least, that was Gertrude’s take.  Either way, Sims has decided that Jude is his best bet for tracking down some answers, and he’s going to try and set Melanie on the task.  That seems inadvisable to me, given how burn-happy the Lightless Flame seem to be. Especially since Georgie is wisely insisting that Sims get his creepy tapes out of her house (she actually insisted he stop listening or taping, but we and Sims both know that’s not going to happen), he’s going to have time to do some legwork.  I hope he’s smart enough to have Melanie do some research (and maybe get Martin in on it too, please?), and then go in a group to meet Jude. Any one person is essentially asking to get turned crispy.

Conclusions

So now the Circus has arrived in London, with a drift of calliope music.  Coincidence?  I doubt it. Elias is arming Sims, whether Sims realizes it or not.  He’s given Sims Jude Perry, and he’s warned him about the skin-stealing Circus of the Other and a woman named Orsinov, who seems to lie at the heart of the Unknowing.

Sims has better information and an avenue of investigation.  But he seriously needs his allies for this.  If things are going to start feeling particularly apocalyptic, and if Sims is now being pursued by both Daisy and by the Circus of the Other, now is the time to pull out all the stops.  Melanie is a good ally, but so is Martin, and they’re in this whether or not they want to be.  Having them be close allies isn’t actually any more dangerous than simply working at the Institute, and the information they might get from working with Sims could protect them.

And while I’m glad Sims is now digging into the supernatural community of London, I seriously hope he gets better allies than the Lightless Flame.  If there’s any possible way he could get Gerard Kaey (why yes, I do hold out hope he’s somehow not dead) and Trevor the Vampire Slayer on his side, I’d feel more comfortable.  And they may be scary as shit, but the Lukas family are not only stupidly old and stupidly wealthy, but they’re loyal to the Beholding.

Things are heating up, and getting more and more interesting.  Groups that seemed peripheral are stepping to the center stage, and now we know that we’re looking at a few years for Sims to catch up to the point that he can prevent a dance to end the world as we know it.  That’s a hell of a thing.

[tulpacest]

Repost, don’t reblog.

Tagged by: @ahogedetective​ , thank you so much!

Tagging: @luminaryblood​ if u haven’t! And if u have... pls link me this is my fav kind of quiz. Otherwise!! Please steal! 

Name: K/orekiyo Shing.uuji. (Sorry but,,, I’m going to be talking about some uncomfy stuff and I’d really rather it not go in the tag riuguir). 

Nicknames: Sweet/Gentle Korekiyo, Kiyo, Korey (Hagakure why...), Shitguuji, ‘shit eating worm’, ‘slug’, ‘creep show’ (I love you Miu). 

Orientation: Pansexual Panromantic (No preference.) 

Preferred pet names: I think Korekiyo would find petnames to be interesting. I... actually like that he offers the name ‘Kiyo’ on first meeting, it creates a sense of immediate familiarity between himself and his peers - exactly what he wants as an anthropologist, after all. Additionally, it means ‘Korekiyo’ is a name reserved only for his Sister - which we’ll get into later. Obviously, he doesn’t particularly like being compared to an insect or dung, and would prefer only beautiful things be associated with him. 

Relationship status: He’s currently in a fully committed romantic relationship with his own tulpa. He truly believes that his dead Sister’s spirit rests inside of him and they are continuing the loving partnership they had in life - but she does not. This is a coping mechanism born out  of impossible grief, and he does have brief moments of self-awareness. In those moments, the world feels sterile and empty. This is his reality.   

Favorite canon ship:  H E  I S  T H E  C A N O N  S H I P.   In all seriousness, I do find the relationship he has with the tulpa to be incredibly fascinating, fucked up and inherently unhealthy. The tulpa is simultaneously the only thing keeping him alive, and simultaneously destroying any development he could possibly have. He cannot overcome grief without it, he cannot overcome grief with it.  And if he just didn’t ... you know... kill people because of it, I feel that the tulpa perfectly embodies the theme of the game. A lie can sometimes be good, can sometimes even save lives - and that is what his coping mechanism is -  simply an incredibly well-fabricated lie. He’s such a fascinating and... oddly tragic character because of it. 

Favorite non-canon ships: I really like Korekiyo/Rantaro! Their interactions in the board game were incredibly sweet... Korekiyo is actually concerned with his health! He asks after him! They visit each other inbetween trips! K O R E K I Y O  H A S  A  F R I E N D ??? And I know you could read that he’s just getting close to him in order to kill his sisters... but? He was doing all of those things before he even knew Amami had sisters! 

I really... really feel like Amami is one of the very few people who would have the patience and the kindness to help Korekiyo work through the whole tulpacest situation. I... Idk, I just have this really profound image of Kiyo finally asking Rantaro if he wants to meet his Sister, and Amami is hesitant at first - like, he knows by now that... something weird is going on, but it’s okay, he trusts his friend enough to see where this is going...  And then Kiyo takes the mask down, and Amami’s heart just. Breaks as Sister says ‘hello’ to him, her lip trembling - and he finally clicks it all together and he understands. And then he rushes forwards and just wraps her in the tightest embrace, and her eyes immediately turn to glass and she just sobs because this is the first time he’s been hugged properly in years, and suddenly all that time spent hugging himself is... not enough. Bluuhhh and that’s my sickly-sweet power fantasy, eventually Amami helps Korekiyo get over the tulpa and accept death (or he supports his friend’s coping mechanism and they enter into a more complicated relationship) - either way, GOD. That’s the healthiest Kiyo ship I can think of and I Am Here For It. 

A quick note on shipping: Korekiyo is really... really difficult to ship. He firmly believes his one true love is inside of him, and he has sacrificed everything to fulfil that delusion. Unpicking it would be a long and hard process, and cheating on her is not going to be an option unless it’s like. a very very very clear one-time affair. Even then, he’s... unlikely to get completely physical with you - and falling in love is simply not an option........ at least, not right away. Any shipping I did with Kiyo would have to be delicately paced and involve a lot of plotting/threading. 

Opinion on true love: He firmly believes in it, and it is one of the only matters (asides from death) where he will suddenly start acting illogical. Anything concerning love makes him highly emotional, but he would also expose that ‘real’ love is not a physical connection, it is something that is worked on and reshaped and kneaded over time. He is extremely romantic,  to say the least, and believes that you should do anything for the one you love. 

Opinion on love at first sight: Although this is something ever present in folklore, fiction and fantasy - he believes that love takes more than a mere moment. It’s something that requires tending to - even if it begins like a hot-flash in the pan. 

How ‘romantic’ are they: Very.... Korekiyo’s appearance may imply anything but, but he is a highly romantic person. He enjoys affection, soft touches, hugs, being squeezed, giving gifts, huge gestures, romcoms, holding hands, dates... I could go on. He adores the saccharine and can be incredibly gentle when it comes to matters of love.  

Ideal physical traits: Korekiyo would struggle with this question - after all, his pet theory is that all humanity is beautiful. Beauty is alluring, and beauty is born from the soul - less so the body. However... He has an aesthetic appreciation for features similar to his own - archaic beauty, ink-brush strokes for hair, well-kept and slender. But! Tbh, radiant love overcomes any physical imperfections, his tastes bent to his heart’s desires. 

Ideal personality traits: He is particularly drawn to bright, effervescent people. Those who possess a deep, unending curiosity - who possess wit and good humour, intelligence and grace. There are many traits that he admires - just as there are many roles in this great kabuki play of life. However, above all else... A thirst for life. If your character displays a drive to survive against all odds, a ‘fuck you’ attitude to death - then his heart sings. Bravery in the face of impossible odds, an unwavering heart, hope blossoming amongst  the tangled thorns of despair... cliche, yes, but traits he finds incredibly attractive.  Additionally, he really enjoys being approached by someone else. His love hotel scene begins with Saihara taking an interest in him, after all. 

Unattractive physical traits: Hmm, again... there really aren’t many. 

Unattractive personality traits: He is not fond of people who are loud-mouthed and quick to interrupt him. He really dislikes those who shut down intelligent conversation, or think of him as boring, or refuse to pay attention. He hates promises being broken, and he will blame himself for being a poor teacher if someone shows even the slightest disinterest in what he has to say.  He also dislikes those he cannot pin down easily. If he cannot assign you a role and you baffle him with layers of inconsistencies/lies, he’s... going to lose interest, fast. If, however, he can pick up some threads of your puzzle - he’ll have... so much fun deciphering you that he’ll get lose in it.  Overall, it can be difficult to predict what traits Korekiyo is going to find unattractive since he is forever fishing for your beauty... 

Ideal date: Travelling, discussing anthropology, consuming media and analysing it afterwards... but more romantic moments are appreciated, too. If it’s an activity that allows him to revel in your beauty... he’s down, lmao. 

Do they have a type? Immensely passionate, confident & bright people!  

Average relationship length: Forever...

Preferred nonsexual intimacy: Being held/holding. I mean. The boy literally hugs himself bc no one else will... he’s honestly so desperate for this kind of physical affection that it breaks my heart on some level. Please.. someone... anyone.... hug him,,,,  Outside of this, while sexual intimacy can be incredibly loving and important in a relationship, I think he values nonsexual intimacy more. I know! This sounds! Really weird! Coming from! The self-declared rope man! But! He constantly reiterates that love does not have to be ‘a physical connection’. So... honestly - beyond cuddling, his favourite thing to do to express intimacy is probably  just to talk. Talk and talk and talk. Enjoy doing things together, be in one another’s company, revel in the beautiful connection between you both  - the real meat of a relationship, you know? 

Commitment level: He’ll literally destroy himself and give up his flesh in order to let you inhabit his body if u go and die on him. And although he indulges his curiosity  in the love hotel scene... we have to remember that that is his fantasy. In the dating sim mode, he repeatedly shies away from sexual topics/intimacy (though he expresses they are normal human behaviours and he respects/is intrigued by Saihara because of them), because it would be ‘cheating’. Then again, he does claim that he tied up a whole village of women, so....

The thing is, Korekiyo’s. Well. What counts as ‘cheating’ might be a little fluid - can he indulge in Kinbaku because he’s doing it for ‘anthropological’ reasons? How far does that card stretch? He seemed to be aware that he actions with Saihara were dodgy given how much he emphasised it was a one-time affair... so, idk. GENERALLY THO I’d argue he is more committed than most, lmao. 

Opinion of public affection: He wants it, but it makes him incredibly uncomfortable. Like. Ideally he could be physical with his partner near constantly - but he’s learned that matters of love are best kept private, and with good reason. 

Past relationships: My personal headcanon is that his Sister is around a year & a half older than him, and they have been engaging in taboo acts since he was around 13. It’s... highly uncomfortable to think about, but. Yeah, so. Considering he still thinks he is in this relationship, they’ve been ‘together’ for 4-5 years. 

[danjaley]

Replies

Oooooh I love this! Veronaville was my first hood so it'll always have a special place in my heart <3

Same here! Perhaps not my first hood, but definitely the one I loved and played the most! tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photoset “Excuse the low graphic settings - and excuse my project-hopping of...”

Capp manor!!! I loved it back in sims 2. But totally Messed it up... Had Consort Capp start an affair with Isabella Monti, Titania Summerdream with everyone and in the end there were Lots of Monit-Capp marriages and Babys 😂 looking forward to your version 😁

Ahaha, some of my Veronaville saves ended up in a similar way :D I’m such a talent at losing or corrupting my ts2 saves, I had to start over countless times. My main mistake probably was to end the feud too smoothly, so all the suspense was gone and everyone a Monty-Capp like in your game! I’m really not sure if I want to give any original twist of my own to the story. I mean to recreate the inhabitants mostly as they appear on start-off in ts2. (Although starting a generation earlier would also be highly interesting!). But when it comes to how the story played out and what became of everyone, I just can’t clear my mind of In Verona, which is my number one favourite historical Veronaville Sims story on the web - with a few Jane Austen characters thrown in. http://winterinverona.blogspot.de/  Sorry, I still can’t link properly in reply posts :/ kevinvoncrastenburg replied to your photoset “Excuse the low graphic settings - and excuse my project-hopping of...”

I always loved the Capp Manor and you did a very very good job! It looks 1:1

Aww, Thank you! The outside pretty much is a direct copy. I got to get more creative with the interior, since ts3 has different furniture, but much more space for creativity with Create a Style. stormflame replied to your photoset “Excuse the low graphic settings - and excuse my project-hopping of...”

So cool :)

Thank You!

[willswalkabout]

Ho Chi Minh, El Nido.

I can guarantee this blog will be the hardest to write of my travels. These have been the toughest and most unforgettable 9 days of my trip so far, but not without some great moments thrown in. (On completion I’ve also just done a word count and it’s really long again, sorry, but maybe one to print!)

When I left off last time I had just landed in Ho Chi Minh. It was about 11pm and although I was shattered, I really didn’t want to pay £15 for a taxi, so after some searching I found the 80p bus, which would drop me off 5 minutes from my hostel. On arrival the place seemed closed, though only because the reception desk didn’t function after 10pm. A security guard who spoke zero English met me in the lobby and took my passport in exchange for a key. Other than that he just motioned for me to go up the stairs, with no further direction. Unlike most hostels my bed number had no correlation to the floor number, which led to some confusion before eventually finding my mattress for the next 3 nights.

The next day was to be my touristy day, though it didn’t start till quite late due to tiredness from Thursday’s travel. I walked to the Independence Palace first. Ho Chi Minh’s attractions have odd opening times, as I discovered the palace was not to open till 1pm. It was around 34'C and so I decided to sit outside in the shade for about 40 minutes watching Vietnam’s most crazy city fly by. The palace itself is quite odd. It’s very typical 60s architecture, after its rebuild in 1966, and doesn’t really resemble a palace at all. On top of this it has never been inhabited by a King, and now only functions as a tourist attraction. It did play a pretty symbolic roll however in the “fall of Saigon” something that coincided with America’s evacuation of the country, so was a good reinforcement of my grounding in the events of the war. I find it sort of crazy that it doesn’t make up even a small part of any history course taught in school, despite it being the most monumental post-WW2 ideological war.

After this visit I engaged in culture of a different form, heading to the nearest Starbucks so I could stream Ed Sheeran’s latest album, which had just been released. I have been playing it practically nonstop since, through some incredibly arduous journeys which will be described later in the blog.

I then visited a very old post office, and Ho Chi Minh’s attempt at the Notre Dame, though, as mentioned earlier, odd timings prescribed that this building closed at 4, preventing me from going inside. I went back to the Hostel, which is effectively run solely by travellers who ran out of money and thought they’d chill in Ho Chi Minh for a bit. Although Flipside Hostels is Kiwi owned, the only staff I met were Canadian, British and Vietnamese. My route back to the hostel is actually a mini story in itself, as I had my first and last experience on a ‘Grab MotoTaxi’. Grab is Asian uber, and for 25% of the price you can sit on the back of a driver’s moped (helmet included!). It was more like a thrill ride than a taxi, as my driver swerved through non-existent gaps, and used the pavement as a 'shortcut’ when he got bored of the traffic. At one point during the ride he asked me to rate him 5 stars on the app at the end of the trip, to which I replied that I would do, if we made it that far. Beers at the hostel were cheap, and I spent most of the evening with a Canadian girl, and 2 Norwegian guys, all of which were in my dorm. It is fair to say we were all feeling the effects of the previous night on Saturday morning, but it was to my delight when at about midday a hilarious English guy called Joey, with a helicopter hat (baseball cap with the spinny thing), burst into our room announcing that we were going to a pool party. At this point I will admit that there many more cultural options in the city that I didn’t explore. For example the war museum, or tunnels. On the other hand I liked the people in the hostel, and in the past I thought pool parties only existed in LA, Vegas, or movies set in LA or Vegas, so I went. I would definitely like to return to see more of the city in the future.

It was a good laugh, and a very relaxing way to spend the day, with good food, and some fun conversations with one girl who was half Russian half Swedish, but about to go to University in Spain so she could be fluent in 4 languages by the age of 20. As well as a French man who decided we should try and have a conversation where we could only speak our native languages. This was a stupid idea, albeit with amusing consequences, given I got my French GCSE over 2 and a half years ago, and he was 30 and working in English. It did however give me the smallest of glimpses of how possible it could be to learn a language if you were forced to speak it full time.

I went out again that night with the same guys, and spent much of it playing ¾ rounds of pool with 2 Indian guys while discussing the IPL.

I left Ho Chi Minh the next morning with an English traveler who was heading to Sydney, my next stop being Manila. I hijacked his pre-booked taxi, my 3rd time doing so on this trip, however due to his nerves about missing his flight I did arrive at the airport 3 and a half hours before my own. Something I was prepared to take for the ease and cheapness of getting to the airport. El Nido is impossible to reach from an international destination in less than 2 days realistically, unless you align everything perfectly and don’t take a single rest. It is 7 hours drive north of Puerto Princessa, the island’s only airport, which is an hour and 50 from Manila. Therefore I spent Sunday night in Manila, in a small hotel about 15 minutes from the airport. People generally don’t hang around in Manila, I can’t honestly pass judgement on the claims of dirtiness and roughness, however my hotel’s location was certainly not somewhere you wanted to spend any time. I was able to locate a McDonalds a 10 minute walk away, but that was enough of Manila for me in this case.

The next day I had to leave at about 5 to get my 7am flight. I got a van from Puerto Princessa at 11am, getting me to my El Nido hostel at about 5pm. The bus journey is infamously horrific, not a view I can personally attest to. The road itself is reasonable for South East Asia, and my driver was fast and very friendly. The ticket was 1000 pesos return, about £16. I also managed to persuade a girl that had somehow booked the front seat of the minibus next to the driver, that with long legs in comparison to her stature of no more than 5ft1, my need was greater. I think the driver had in fact invited the woman to that seat, no reservation had been made, and she was quite relieved to move.

To reach my hostel you had to tramp 50m along the beach, to a view I don’t think I would ever get tired of. There are maybe a couple of photos of it on here, but I may have taken close to a hundred. My roommates were Catie and Lucie, recently qualified nurses from Northumbria.

I haven’t planned how to write this next paragraph, but am aware I would like to print this entire blog on its completion as a permanent memory of the adventure. El Nido is somewhere I will never regret visiting, with crystal clear waters, stunning sunsets and perfect weather. There are factors however that take a little away from the paradise, these being next to no internet connection and frequent power cuts. For these reasons notifications come in sporadically and in clumps. On Monday evening I suddenly had missed calls from mum and dad across 3 different platforms. This is a sight that truly does make your heart skip a beat. The connection was not strong enough for us to attempt any of the video calling methods of the last 5 or so weeks, WhatsApp, FaceTime or Google Duo. I slipped in my UK SIM card to the phone and made an international phone call from the beach, where I found out my Granddad, mum’s father, Reginald Flatman had passed away. Reg first got ill around Christmas, and had been in and out of hospital since, with various issues that were increasingly hard to diagnose.

I visited Reg a few days before I set off when he was in high spirits. I discussed my trip with him, and witnessed him as his trademark jovial self, as he laughed at mum’s gardening course exam, where she had somehow managed to hit the pass mark exactly…

Reg was possibly the kindest man I’ve ever known, with hardly a bad word to say about anyone. His only criticisms were directed at the attitude of the Ipswich Town football team, something I always found odd given his total indifference towards competitive sport of any kind. I’ll never forget walking the fields of Zoe and Des’ farm with him and the dog, when I would go down to Suffolk to work in the summer. I also had a memorable conversation with him 18 months ago at the reception of James and Vicky’s wedding, where he was utterly bemused by the 'racket’ coming out of the speaker system during the reception. I was delighted to be able to invite him to our school’s big band concert at Chelmsford cathedral last year.

Reg was a man of simple pleasures who would always refuse as best he could to trouble anyone for anything. We would rarely be able to contain our amusement at dinner, as when Reg was asked “would you like some more food”, he would reply with “that was great thanks”. Nana’s firm toned “Reginald”, uttered when he made a funny face across the table, nudged one of us under it, or tried to steal a roast potato, never failed to make myself or Kate laugh. Reg was to us polo mints, shredded wheat, and a day concluded with cheese and biscuits. Reg never bothered taking life too seriously, a characteristic summed up by a set of four photos in a frame at home, of him and Nana. He is screwing his face up in an effort to make the photographer laugh, in three of the photos. If this was a school photo session with a 10 year old, you would pretend the first 3 didn’t exist and just print the fourth large. The first three however said far more about Granddad than a composed shot ever could.

I will fly back from Melbourne to London on Sunday 19th to be with family for the funeral on Thursday 23rd. Then fly back out on Friday 24th to Auckland, NZ.

So El Nido. The nights are all very boring here as I did not have the energy or desire to go out. On Tuesday I accomplished a goal I’ve had for a long time, to visit a particular beach by the name of Nacpan. There is a particular travel blogger on YouTube by the name of Christian Le Blanc. While I was doing my exam revision last year, Christian was traveling the Philippines, and his trip to this particular beach was one that really drew me to the area. You have to drive 45 minutes north of the main town via scooter to get there. This is 25 minutes of glorious winding road up the coast, before a horrific 20 minutes along an unpaved dirt track to the beach. The reward is one of the largest and most untouched spots along the coast. Fine white sand and beautiful water. However I imagine it is becoming less and less 'secret’ by the month. Even in comparison to the video I saw 8 months ago there are now a few more food and drink stalls, a relatively organised parking scheme, and a far bigger sign from the main road. The one way in which El Nido has developed impressively is in its number of high end restaurants run by Europeans, in order to serve those visiting the town from nearby resorts. This did mean I enjoyed a great pizza that night, with about 10 others from the hostel.

The next day I did the hostel’s combined package of Tour A&C. The El Nido bay is very comparable to Halong Bay in Vietnam, except for more islands with beaches, as well as individual lagoons, in comparison to Halong’s mystical 1969 limestone rocks. At some point the tourist board must of grouped different combinations of the lagoons, beaches, islands, viewpoints etc, into tour A, B, C and D. There are now dozens of outlets selling these tours at prices from 1000-2000 pesos, (£16-£32). In the vast majority of cases you should try not to book tours and other items through your hostel. They will rarely be providing the service themselves, and will therefore be taking a cut simply for making a phone call to one of the companies on the street on your behalf. For example hiring a scooter from the hostel was 700 pesos a day, though I found one in town for 350. Saying all this the hostel ran their own in house tour which was a combination of tour A and C. It was 1700 which was nearer the pricier end, but the advantages were that it left from the hostel’s own beach, and you could do it with people you knew. I did love the experience, the videos of which online were another draw for me visiting the area. I snorkelled and got some decent GoPro footage of a small jellyfish that went on to sting me as I swam away. Taking photos on my phone and proper camera though was a more hap-hazard venture, with the boat being occupied by 16 soaking wet passengers constantly walking up and down around the kit. I also started to wonder if I was really getting the most out of the day, when seeing it partially through a lens. I was never going to get the greatest of photos, for that you’d need a chartered boat where you could specify time in each place. So I put the camera away for the most part of the trip, and enjoyed just sitting on the edge of the boat and taking it all in. Sunburn was the only tarnish on the day.

Thursday started with a torrential storm, which in typical Philippines style concluded with the weather returning to normal service in the space of 5 minutes. Myself, Catie, Lucie and a Swiss guy called Kevin went to do a zip line which was pretty awesome. I’d thought at the start of the day that I would be riding, and so brought my bike helmet with me. This meant rather embarrassingly this was to be my head protection for the experience, complete with visor. I managed to fashion my camera bag shoulder strap into a way of securing my phone to my harness, so I could film and photograph the ride. After this I returned to the hostel to relax a bit before planning to return to Nacpan to try and capture the sunset. This plan in hindsight was rash. Though cloudy, I was overly trusting on one German guy’s words that “his app said the sunset would be good”. It was not, with the clouds concealing nearly the entirety of the sun. I still enjoyed seeing the light shade of pink that took over the bottom third of the horizon, but it was not something I managed to pick up on the camera. What made the decision particularly stupid was that I then had to go back down the entirely unlit gravel path in the dark. I dropped off my scooter in town before meeting the girls for a meal at a traditional Philippino restaurant that had been recommended.

What followed was one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life, something I think I am only now really coming back from 2 and a half days later. Food poisoning hit me bad all night, as it did Lucie also. The plot thickens however, when we both awoke in the morning to find at least 7 others in the hostel had experienced identical symptoms overnight. I could not join up any dots with any of them leading some people to wonder if there was something airborne going around. I don’t think we’ll ever know, but it made Friday’s van journey even more daunting.

As mentioned earlier I had booked a return trip with the company that had brought me up, however the way it seems to work is that nobody drives if their vans are not full. This meant when I arrived at the bus terminal all the other companies that were present were enquiring about my departure time. My theory is that they knew my provider wouldn’t show. So at 1:35, five minutes past my supposed leaving time, a bidding war ensued. I was eventually bundled onto someone’s minibus. I can only assume after they took photos of my ticket, that they will get a refund off my people. This was not the main frustration of the journey unfortunately. The driver still had 4 free seats, and so he transformed into a hop on - hop off service for the whole island. This meant stopping for every random person on the side of the street, negotiating a price for their destination before letting them on. We must have made around 15 stops, something my stomach was not pleased with. 6 hours later we had arrived at Puerto Princessa airport. Advice I am giving myself for the future is not to book the cheapest hotel for short 1 night stopovers. This decision on Friday night involved a 20 minute tuk tuk ride to an area I was advised “not to walk at night”. The only pleasant anecdote in this experience was the fact my driver’s sister was a nurse in Ipswich, probably at the hospital granddad was receiving such good care. It was an incredibly odd and heartwarming meeting, as the driver spoke enthusiastically about his new brother in law, who runs a barber shop on the Woodbridge road. My room itself would be more accurately described as a cell. The bed was like a roll mat, and my troubles were furthered in the morning, when the building “ran out of power”. This was an impressive feat in itself as I was the only occupant in the entire 12 room hotel. I’ve got no idea how it copes with more than 5 customers… The power cut meant I woke up with no air con and no running water. I think I may have left without paying but the owner was so confused and I was so angry at the whole situation, I think the 600 pesos might remain in my pocket.

The next day I took a flight to Manila, then another to Kuala Lumpur. I’m writing this from the final couple of hours on what’s been a pretty grim overnight flight into Melbourne. I think when flying west-east you’re supposed to sleep, something I’ve completely failed to do.

I have a 2 hour domestic to Sydney and then the 47 hours from El Nido are complete. I think I have 14 hours to Abu Dhabi and then another 8 home next Sunday, so will try and summarise my week in Australia then.

Till the next time.

[albaewald137-blog]

Boozefighters Group In Culture Articles.

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