#although.. i have seen a few kiwis on here haha

[kcrossvine-art]

hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!

 Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)

We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-

Butter

Self-rising flour

Granulated Sugar

Raisins

A small dried fruit of your choosing

Almonds OR Pecans

EGG

Whole Milk

Heavy Cream

And if you would like for dipping-

Blackberry jam

To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.

I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.

AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense

The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness

Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end

Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal

Somewhat flakey outside

The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes

Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink

Or mead

I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)

Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.

. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares . If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why

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So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.

I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.

I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

6 TBSP butter, chilled

2 cups self-rising flour

1 TBSP granulated sugar

½ cup raisins

½ other dried fruit (strawberry slices, oranges, etc.), chopped

Handful of almonds or pecans, chopped

1 egg, well beaten

½ cup whole milk

4 TBSP heavy cream

Method:

Preheat your oven to 400 f.

Cut the butter into slivers/small pieces. With your hands, combine the butter into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles coarse sand.

Chop your dried nuts and dried fruit until it feels right.

Mix in the sugar, raisins, nut, and dried fruit of your choosing

In a seperate bowl, beat the egg until combined, and then mix in the milk until combined. Keep a bit of this mixture to brush the tops of the bread.

Stir while adding the egg/milk mixture and the heavy cream into the flour. Mix just until combined into a soft dough.

Knead the dough until firm on a floured surface.

Roll into a half inch thickness and cut with a square or leaf shaped cookie cutter. (...or in my case, an apple corer).

Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, with about an inch of space between each piece. Brush the tops of the lembas with some of the mixture you saved earlier.

Bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until it turns a soft gold and the inside is chewy.

[wp100]

I agree with the asparagus and brussel sprouts, but cauliflower? I eat that RAW. It's one of my favourite vegetables

[allskynostars]

I want an answer to all the questions 😁

Gee, thanks T ;) 

1. What is you middle name?

Lee. It’s my Dads middle name, and my brother and I have my Mum’s surname seeing as they were never married (now separated) so she gave us our Dads middle name as our own. So me my brother and my Dad all have the same middle name. Oh and and my oldest brother (different Dad) has Lee hyphenated into his first name so there ya go hahah.  

2. How old are you?

23, 24 in 5 weeks :) 

3. When is your birthday?

August 20th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo (it fits)

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple

6. What’s your lucky number?

My favourite number is 2, so therefore my lucky number is 22.

7. Do you have any pets?

There is a cat at the flat I’m currently living in, he’s the fattest ever and his name is Zinny. 

8. Where are you from?

Born in London. Moved to NZ when I was 6 months old. So legally British, but I am a Kiwi. 9. How tall are you?

I honestly don’t know but I’m tall. 5′9 maybe?

10. What shoe size are you?

In NZ I’m a 9 or a 10. I think it’s 8 UK, 42 US? I have big feet okay haha. 

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

At the moment only like 4 cause I just moved country and gave a lot away. 

12. What was your last dream about?

I wish I could remember :(

13. What talents do you have?

I can rap? Haha like don’t get me wrong I can’t freestyle but if I hear a song enough I get pretty good. But that probably ties in with my ability to just know the words to nearly every fucking song. My boyfriend always plays this game where he’ll start singing a song and then I have to sing the whole thing haha. 

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I mean I say I am all the time but it’s not serious. 

15. Favorite song?

This is so hard to answer. I have so many. it depends on my mood haha. 16. Favorite movie?

I am a movie buff. I cannot simply pick one. Although one film I could watch at any time is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Oh and Shutter Island. Mark Ruffalo & Leo Dicaprio are my faves. Breakfast Club? Only Lovers Left Alive. I can’t pick. 

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Seth Cohen.

18. Do you want children?

I do, but there are days I wonder if I actually do, you know?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Nooo.

 20. Are you religious?

Noooo.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Plenty of times, haha. 

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I can’t say I have, no

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yes! Quite a few if I can boast haha. Aidan Turner, Dean O’Gorman, Karen Gillan, Jamie Campbell Bower, Marl Ruffalo, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, Robert Downey Jr, Andrew Scott, Jenna Coleman. That’s all I can recall right now haha. I have photographic evidence of all except RDJ :( 

24. Baths or showers?

It depends! 

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Black :) 

26. Have you ever been famous?

Haha no. 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I don’t think so, to be honest.

28. What type of music do you like?

A broad range. A lot is like indie/pop, and I really do listen to a lot of rnb/rap which always surprises people. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

God no haha. If I had the balls. 

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

1 since we moved here but ideally 2. 

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side. 

32. How big is your house?

Not very. It’s converted (typical London) so it’s basically fit anything where you can haha. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I don’t eat it normally, but if I do it’s cereal or toast. Also love pancakes. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. 

35. Have you ever tried archery?

At a school camp, once. 

36. Favorite clean word?

Clean word? LIke non swear word? Lovely. 

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck. Classic.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Like 36 hours or so but I don’t do well on no sleep. 

39. Do you have any scars?

Just little cuts and things, nothing major. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

No, had a stalker once. 

41. Are you a good liar?

Kind of. 

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I believe so. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not at all I am terrible at accents haha.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m told not really, not compared to others. It’s probably because my family were English so it’s buffered.

45. What is your favorite accent?

Irish. 

46. What is your personality type?

INFP-T 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Nothing I own is expensive haha.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie!

50. Left or right handed?

Right :)

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes, any creepy crawlies ew. 

52. Favorite food?

Mexican!

53. Favorite foreign food?

^^^

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy but hates mess. 

55. Most used phrased?

Oh my god.

56. Most used word?

Probably a swear word.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends on whether it’s just going out or like going out out. Anywhere from 10 mins to an hour. 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so no.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Often haha. 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Very often haha.

62. Are you a good singer?

I’ve been told I’m actually not that bad a few times haha so thats something I guess. 

63. Biggest Fear?

Whales. 

64. Are you a gossip?

Sometimes… hahah.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

What kind of dramatic? Prisoners was so good and that sprung to mind. 

66. Do you like long or short hair?

My hair? Looooog. I cut it short 2 years ago and regretted it so much. On others? Unphased. Love a good man bun but don’t we all..

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

I doubt it haha. 

68. Favorite school subject?

Biology.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert mainly, extrovert tendencies. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, terrified of the ocean. Which is annoying because it’s beautiful but ugh.

71. What makes you nervous?

Lots, especially having so speak to people I don’t know, about jobs etc.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Love the dark.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

My boyfriend all the time,because he’ll still love me, but not normally anyone else haha. 

74. Are you ticklish?

No.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

In my previous management jobs, yeah.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

A lot.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

A couple times..

79. Who was your first real crush?

Non celeb? When I was like 12 I was obsessed with a guy my cousin has been with for 3 years and owns a house with haha. 

80. How many piercings do you have?

Nose & ears.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No?

82. How fast can you type?

If I get going quite fast. Dunno actual speed.

83. How fast can you run?

Not very anymore haha.

84. What color is your hair?

Naturally dark brown. Dyed darker but not black.

85. What color is your eyes?

Blue.

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing I know of.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I want too!

88. What do your parents do?

Mum Retail, Dad Accounting to put it simply cause I don’t actually know.

89. Do you like your age?

23 has been good to me.

90. What makes you angry?

Inequality.

91. Do you like your own name?

I don’t hate it, but it’s boring.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have a few.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

If I could pick, 2 boys 1 girl.

94. What are you strengths?

I’m fiercely loyal.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Also stubborn, is that a weakness? V shy.

96. How did you get your name?

My Nans name was Jennifer, my Mum wanted to name me after her but not completely so therefore; Jenna. Also my family has a history of J’s. My Nan, Mum, oldest brither and 2 cousins are J names. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I wish haha.

98. Do you have any scars?

Answered.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Pretty patterned pink/blue.

100. Color of your room?

These walls are like a light yellow but I did not chose it haha. 

That took way too long god I am boring.

[therealnatasharomanoff-blog]

Interview with Paige Hareb

Keeping with my theme of highlighting under represented countries I had the pleasure of interviewing Paige Hareb from New Zealand before the start of the 2016 season. Paige had been a fixture on the WCT for 6 years and her absence last season didn’t go unnoticed by this writer. She has the distinction of being the first Kiwi to earn a spot on the WCT women’s tour and the only one so far to reach that level. I first met her at the US Open of Surfing in Huntington Beach in 2014 where she had a ninth place finish. I finally caught up with her to ask what she’s doing to get back on the WCT, her thoughts on the proliferation of wave pools and what she does when she isn’t shredding waves at the best breaks around the world; this is what she had to say.

ME: Kelly Slater has been working on the wave pool idea for quite some time now and in December the world got its first look at what is probably the best man made wave on the planet. How do you feel about the proliferation of wave pools around the world and bringing surfing to the land locked parts of the world?

PH: There’s maybe just as many people who don’t want or like the idea of wave pools as there are that do. I was lucky enough to try the wave pool in Spain and loved it. It is a pretty different and surreal experience being in the middle of hills and trees. I think wave pools are only going to make the sport of surfing bigger and better. The kids in Spain were already surfing there everyday and probably catching more waves and trying more moves than most of it. There’s so many aspects of it to be a positive thing, it could help get surfing into the Olympics, it will give people a chance to surf who might not ever get to the ocean and of course it will encourage people to swim, surf and stay fit which is never a bad thing.

ME: So, there has been much rumour and speculation about surfing coming to the Olympics and with the introduction of wave pools it seems much less farfetched. Do you think this is a good idea; having people who potentially have never seen an ocean suddenly competing for Olympic gold in surfing?

PH: Ha yeah my answer is pretty much the same as above! I guess my point of view is it’s still the same equipment, still floating and turning on water, so I call that surfing, no matter where you are. It’s a bit like the Jamaican bobsledders going to the winter Olympics.

ME: Thank you, that’s a pretty good analogy.

You’ve been a fixture on the WCT for a long time and I was surprised when you weren’t on the tour this year, what happened?

PH: Yeah I spent six years in a row on the World Tour, unfortunately I had a bad year and got knocked off end of 2014 which was pretty disappointing.

2015 was a very up and down year for me, getting a 2nd place in China at the start of the year but also having a few first round losses in a row and my boards not turning up for a whole contest. Only missing out on re-qualifying by needing one more result so I was pretty gutted to say the least but the positive is that it has fired me up to work and train harder for this year and I’m ready.

ME: Will you be making any changes on the road to returning to the championship tour?

PH: Yes I’ve already made a lot of changes, I’m already fitter and have been surfing way more. The last few years I have also travelled with a few of the there girls that do the competitions which is hard because they are your friends but you also have to compete against them. It’s been super fun but maybe too fun sometimes so I’m going back to basics and traveling with my parents for the first few events because that’s what I was doing when I got my best result on the World Tour, third at Snapper.

ME: Women’s surfing has come a long way since the days Pam Burridge, and Frieda Zamba or Layne Beachley and Lisa Anderson. How do you see women’s surfing progressing and where do we go from here? Will we ever see a women’s tour equal in numbers as the men’s tour?

PH: Yeah it has come a long way just like the Mens has come a long way too. All those past ladies are amazing surfers and I respect them a lot. It frustrates me when people talk about how the girls have charged at Fiji the last two years but they seem to have forgotten that the likes of all those ladies, Lisa, Layne, Rochelle Ballard, Megan Abubo, Chelsea Hedges, Sofia Mulanovich were charging Fiji and Teahupoo all those years ago, pulling into huge barrels and going hard, if not better than what some of the ladies on tour are doing now. I think there’s still so much room for Women’s surfing to improve and I’m a big believer that we will eventually get to the same number as men, I’m hoping the same amount of prize money too since we are risking our lives is waves like Cloudbreak just as much as the men are.

ME: You’ve been in this sport a long time and I suspect you will continue to be for years to come; do you have any plans for what you’ll do when you hang up the jersey?

PH: Yes I’m definitely going to do it for as long as I can at this stage. Who knows what I’ll be doing afterwards, every year I always come up with a new idea or a new interest so this year I’ve actually made a conscious decision to not think about the aftermath, to dedicate my entire mind and body to the sport and competition I love.

ME: I’ve noticed you seem to like boxing and skateboarding, what other activities do you enjoy when you’re not surfing?

PH: Boxing and skating are just a few sports of the many that I love and do. I’ve grown up being such a sporty kid that you never really lose the skill or love for it which I thank my parents for getting me into everything, it’s made my life that much better. I was in academies for ski racing and soccer and represented my region in basketball too, won my age group division in tennis when I was younger I even love table tennis and squash too, give me any sport and I’ll at least try it! All those other sports were more my ‘serious’ sports growing up and surfing was my ‘hobby’ but its switched around now although don’t get me wrong, I still very much love surfing!

ME: You’ve done countless interviews in your storied career so far, but is there anything you would like to say to the fans? Perhaps something which hasn’t already been asked a million times?

PH: Hmm something that hasn’t been asked or said is a hard one haha but I appreciate my fans and all the support I’ve had over the years, people come and go but you do remember the loyal ones so thank you! If you want to get into surfing for reception or competitively just make sure you’re still having fun, that’s the main thing at the end of the day 🙂

ME: For those young girls dreaming of one day making surfing their career what should they know about which could help them along the way?

PH: It’s an amazing opportunity and lifestyle if you can make it, I’ve been surfing coming up to 20years and I’m still not where I want to be so as long as you’re having fun, stick at it and hard work I’m sure you will get to where you want to be in the end but the end is the end, the destination, so enjoy the journey, the ride!

ME: Thank you Paige for taking time out from your training schedule to speak with me. To find out more about Paige and what’s going on in her world check out her website or on social media.

www.paigehareb.com

www.twitter.com/paigehareb

www.instagram.com/paigehareb

www.facebook.com/paige.hareb