#always a fan of when they reference the “stick the mask to face” trick they introduced in the early 2000’s

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

“Who Was Ben Reilly?” Amazing Spider-Man (Vol. 1/1963), #610.

Writer: Marc Guggenheim; Pencilers: Marco Checchetto and Luke Ross; Inkers: Marco Checchetto and Rick Magyar; Colorists: Fabio D’Auria and Jeromy Cox; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

[corinthbayrpg]

NAME. Leonidas Karatasos AGE & BIRTH DATE. Currently 33, reincarnated on August 11th, 1986 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/Him SPECIES. Kobalos OCCUPATION. Owner of Hypnos FACE CLAIM. Scott Eastwood

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: war, death, violence, drinking, assault, homophobia, fire, madness ) When Leonidas was born in a small village on the outskirts of Thebes in ancient Greece, he never would have imagined to still be alive an eternity later. He was a lively child, with a knack for games and jokes, a huge smile on his face and a devilish glint in his eyes. He was born into a family that had partaken in the village’s belief in Dionysus for years before he was born. They praised the god of madness and ecstasy day and night and constantly celebrated him. They were known to be just as ecstatic as their god was supposed to be, leading ritualistic dances and sing songs through nights and days. While they thought they believed in the only true religion, and praised the best god there was, outside of their little world many frowned upon them. They were belittled, as well as beaten and laughed at. Other people around Thebes watched them with both worry and disgust. And despite that, Leonidas never wavered in the strong belief that had been burnt into his mind from the moment he was born. It did not matter that the rest of the world thought he was one with a group of crazy people. He would still whisper about it into the ears of those who would listen once he was old enough, ready to spread the belief to anyone who had an open ear for him. He would still take a beating, and rise from it to celebrate another feast for Dionysus.

Though even within the group of the small village, Leonidas was often the one who didn’t like to be in the middle of it all. He liked being just outside of the light, dancing in shadows, and observing some of the more extreme rituals the others partook in. While he was a fan of a life with no boundaries, he sometimes felt bad for the fact that they would plug people from their own lives as if they were no longer needed. He would have gladly stolen a loaf of bread from them, but their entire life? It did not stop him from having fun, of indulging in those aspects of the belief that especially appealed to him. For Leonidas, there was no way he would ever leave them, and so he was still in the only space he thought he belonged when Dionysus finally listened to their prayers. Being granted powers by the god they had prayed to for so long now seemed almost like a surreal dream – but who would say no to the gift of immortality?

The villagers were gifted not only that but also the ability to trick whoever they wanted and conjure illusions by looking into another pair of eyes. The man who was in his mid-twenties at the time couldn’t quite believe his luck. Finally, he had an easy time paying back those that wronged him and those he held close to his heart. He reveled in getting to trick them, in driving them mad when he thought they deserved it. In the end, his first mortal life was still ended by another human who despised the villagers, and beat him until no life was left in his body. He was reincarnated into the village that had always been his home and would be his home once again. While living there, Leonidas loved to connect to the plants around him, learning about their healing abilities and how to use them, while still using his trickster abilities to their fullest. He was hardly seen without an amused sparkle in his eyes or a laugh on his lips. He was good at spreading joy, even better at masking his feelings when he didn’t feel it for once. Back in those days, he thought life could go on like this forever and ever. But of course, it did not. It was between 339 and 338 BC that his life was turned upside down by the war against Philip II of Macedon. Leonidas did not care much about the politics behind the war, though that changed once Thebes was overrun, his family of villagers ripped apart, and most of them sold into slavery. He had a burning hatred for what had happened to the perfect life he lived, and he swore he would never turn a blind eye to politics again. Rich men with great monologues should not rule over those less fortunate.

Leonidas was bought by a young man who was rich and striving to rise up in power to impress his father and his wife-to-be. Little did he know who he had let into his home, for Leonidas hardly wasted any time in using his powers to get himself out of slavery. He used mostly his glamour, but also his silk tongue to whisper promises and stories into his owner’s ears until he no longer believed him to be a slave, but an equal. It was by his side that he managed to get a foot in the door of the regime of Alexander The Great. However, the Kobaloi didn’t make it very far in his quest to undermine the regime, as he found his fate once more by a blade cutting his neck when the man who originally bought him was attacked.

Being reincarnated into the life of a man who became a soldier before he remembered his wish to drive anyone mad who let others fight for them, he once again found himself in the middle of a war. Despite using whatever trick he had up his sleeve, Leonidas didn’t make it far while Alexander The Great was fighting his wars. He fought and fell, just another soldier who died. By the time Alexander died, Leonidas had been reincarnated once more, already irritated with the sensation. He found himself still sticking in Greece, though no longer near his home that Thebes had once been. Now he found himself as part of the Aetolian League, residing in Athens. But the young Kobaloi never actually felt an alliance with anyone. Over time, he slipped from the Aetolian League to the Achaean league, changing his home and supposed alliance to be able to drive the conquering groups mad. He managed to make his way towards those leading wars and fights, giving suggestions on their strategies, while doing the same to the other side not long after. Leonidas, who had originally intended to help out those who were less fortunate, got lost in the pleasure of fueling chaos and madness. He would whisper his way into beds of important people, create illusions to get them to do what he wanted. He enjoyed it, and every death he died throughout the years was worth it. Soldier, advisor, lover, trickster.

But there was one thing that truly messed up his plans and his will to only live for the chaos he could create: finding his soulmate. It was the last thing he had expected to ever happen to him, someone who had very much enjoyed sexual freedom up until that moment, but it took only one look at the man’s face and his heart was captured in an instant – and would never let go of this feeling for the rest of his lives. While Leonidas was gifted an immortal life and reincarnation, the one he chose to fall for lived a very different timeline. The time they got to spend together was never enough before his beloved was called into a veil Leonidas could not quite fathom with his thoughts, forced to stay away from him. Sometimes they got to spend more years together, sometimes barely any time at all. It always seemed to take an excruciatingly long time before they got to reunite, and it drove Leonidas mad. They were apart more than they were together it seemed, and that was unfair in the eyes of the furious Kobaloi. Every time they got separated over the years, he would unleash his emotions in the form of more madness. He made his way through Europe but always made his way back to Greece as if feeling its call. He slipped from court to court, from regime to regime, often masking himself as a charming young man who only had everyone else’s best interest at heart. The reality was, he thrived on making everyone else suffer when his own heart was burning. He loved ruining lives because his own seemed so very broken. When he didn’t find himself among those more fortunate, he was often reincarnated into the life of a man who was fighting yet another war, the pain in his heart overshadowed by that of the violence real life had to offer.

That was his routine for too many centuries. Die painful deaths at war, see excruciating pain, find himself in slavery – or celebrate debaucherous feasts full of ecstasy and madness while driving the rich and influential against one another, and in between that, meet the love of his life only to lose him over and over again. From extreme high to extreme lows, it shouldn’t have been surprising that he suffered. Leonidas mind sometimes didn’t differ so much from those he had driven mad with his own powers. He was angry at the world and angry at the god who had given him these powers – apparently to do nothing more but suffer and see others suffer.

The Kobaloi was the reason for quite a few monarchs going mad over the centuries. Those who loved to torture and throw great feasts often found Leonidas in their court. None of them would have said phrases like “Qu'ils mangent de la brioche” or refer to choices that were sure to make people hate them. He was one of the people King Charles VI of France listened to when enough alcohol was coursing through his system, plenty of his more bizarre moments stemming from conversations with Leonidas. He left the court of King Charles VI in 1393 after a celebration later on known as “ball of the burning men”. Leonidas had fueled the idea of the king to show up to a wedding with some of his men dressed as wildlings, covered in pitch. Four of them ended up burning to death. Leonidas couldn’t have cared less.

Two centuries later, Leonidas was also the reason why Emperor Rudolf II developed a severe case of paranoia. The Kobaloi found it delighting to tell the man that everyone wanted to overthrow and kill him – while his words partly held truth, they were also partly an illusion to make the emperor insecure. And it worked. Leonidas watched from the sidelines as Rudolf II was called unstable and unpredictable. He helped the emperor find people to fuel his love for the occult, watching with glee how he threw himself into false information about the supernatural world, while the real problem was sitting right next to him. Leonidas left the man shortly before he was overthrown by his brother, having lost interest in the man once more. His next life he spent at the court of Queen Christina of Sweden, finding joy in a woman who so clearly held no interest in what was expected of her as a Queen. He helped her dress up in men’s clothing and covered for her when she led women into her bedrooms. It was her who brought him back to Greece eventually, where he settled in Rome until he was hunted and his life ended because some of his neighbors suspected him to be a witch.

With every death, with every monarch driven mad, with every war fought, and with every separation from the love of his life, his sanity seemed to wear thinner. Not many of his deaths were caused by his lack of carelessness when it came to his sexual desires, his celebrations, or his madness. While death had lost all meaning to him over the centuries, dying still didn’t become any easier. Leonidas absolutely hated it, and once again wondered why a god would have given him this sort of gift only to suffer.

Despite his despair, he mostly stuck to Greece since the late 19th century, noticing the call of the veil in Corinth Bay. He lived in the town for some years, before moving elsewhere, feeling unsettled and bored quickly. But he had seen so much of the world already, he didn’t know what else would be able to impress him. From time to time his old love for tricking people around him would burn up with a newfound, undying passion, and it was in those moments that Leonidas would often say he could never get tired of playing games.

But during this time period, he eventually completely lost that spark. Nowadays, he would say that a soul simply is not made to survive forever, and be reborn over and over again. He had seen too much sorrow, and no matter how much he held onto the side of him that was careless and fun-loving, seeing plenty of people he liked die didn’t help either. One could say he suffered through quite a few mid-life crises, those highs, and lows of his never easy to watch. When he lost his lover to death once more, cursed to spend another 100 years without him in the early 20th century, he was simply tired of it all. With no real meaning in life anymore, it sometimes felt like a nuisance to have to go on. Days seemed grey, and any joy of tricking people was lost on him all over again. Leonidas still did it, but it seemed to be as much of a nuisance as everything else. He had lost his fire and passion for life, and a part of him wished that he could just get rid of his reincarnation.

The last time Leonidas died, it was one of his more heroic deaths. He had saved a young woman from a group of men assaulting her, and was stabbed to death on his way home when they recognized him as someone who had kissed a man in the same bar as them not too long ago. Leonidas died, and his gloomy mind stayed with him when he was reincarnated in August 1986. While an older version of himself would have been ecstatic to see the way the world changed, became more open-minded, celebrated festivals and parties, he now attended without seeing any real meaning to it. Where was the point when he had done all of it over and over again? He was missing a part of himself and missing a life that wasmeaningful.

He did not think that Dionysus would ever come into play again. He had given up on his god forever ago, when he stayed silent through too much suffering and too many prayers. Therefore, being called to Corinth Bay where he had lived several times in the past with the promise of a war between Gods, he didn’t know what to expect. He wanted to be mad at Dionysus, mad at these gods fighting each other at the hands of others. While it’s not his first time in the city, he can’t remember ever seeing it crowded by so many supernatural creatures, or with so much brewing underneath the surface. He took over a place he had owned in the past, now a cocktail bar named Hypnos. It was no big trick for him to get the lease signed over to him once more, using the place to judge people, trick them, and figure out which side he really wanted to be on. He is ready to fight – whether he has done more than enough of that in his lifetime or not.

PERSONALITY

+ playful, open-minded, loyal - vengeful, irresponsible, cynical

PLAYED BY LISA. GMT+1. She/Her.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Freaks” Part 1

Y/N is a metahuman with several peculiarities, but one could say the weirdest is her heart: it is gated by four locks that make it impossible for the woman to fall in love. Also one could say she’s manipulative, cunning and ruthless. Sounds familiar? Maybe that’s why The Joker is the perfect candidate to help her finally get something she always desired: a one of a kind heir.

“Yoooo-hoooooooooo, Mister Jooo-kkkeeerrr!!!!” Bane skips along the poorly lit corridor since it’s almost 11 at night and the Arkham inmates are supposed to be asleep. Yet they’re not: the ruckus woke them all up and now they are standing by the glass walls facing the hallway, wondering what the heck is going on.

The real Bane sighs, completely unappreciative of you borrowing his physical appearance.  

“Hey, cut it out!” he admonishes as Y/N passes by and she decides to stop for a moment.

“Hello there handsome,” you swing your hips while walking towards him and The Riddler snorts, entertained: his cell is right across so it’s not like he can miss the show.

“If you’re going to mimic me, don’t do stuff like that!” Bane hisses through his mask, irritated.

“Apologies honey,” you wink and continue. “Far from me to purposely chop your masculinity to pieces,” but seductively sway on the tip of the heavy boots, taunting more because... who’s going to stop you?

“Seriously?!” Bane growls and you cut him some slack, transforming into The Joker for a few seconds.

“Jeez, don’t get worked up,” you smirk and blow the green hair off your face. “I’m looking for this guy, I know he’s here too.”

“Why are you looking for him?” Killer Croc punches his fists together, hoping he can twist your presence in his favor.

“I need him for breeding purposes,” you serenely admit as The Clown Prince of Crime rolls his eyes three padded rooms up from your present location.

“I told you before I can help with that,” Harvey Dent flips his coin in the air, not understanding why his offer was rejected numerous times.

“Me too!” The Riddler grins. “You should forget about the man that repeatedly refuses your advances and pick one of us,” the mastermind gestures at the cells containing prisoners willing to take on the task.

“I want him,” you revert to your human form, Mr. Freeze gasping with admiration: he’s been a fan for the past two years. “He’s the only male I’m compatible with for procreation on this continent and nobody else will do.”

“How do you know?” Deadshot addresses the burning question.

“I just know, ok?” you pout not wishing to get into details. “That’s why I’m here to bail him out. I helped his men clear the area so we can rescue the father of my future baby.”

“Ugghhhh,” a displeased and very loud protest is heard from The Joker’s cell.

“There you are,” you light up with the happiest smile and abandon the captives held in pretty boxes lined up on the south side of Arkham Asylum.

“Hey Y/N,” Jonathan Crane smacks his lips, “if you get me out of here also I’ll give you two millions.”

“I’ll give you double!” The Penguin shouts and Bane promises:

“I’ll give you three!”

The offers keep on pouring in and the shapeshifter is not a person to say no to easy money.

“Might as well,” you press the yellow buttons outside everyone’s incarceration chambers, leaving the best for last.

“Hiiii Mister Jooooker,” you drag the words and he grumbles, squeezing past you as soon as the glass slides enough for him to emerge from the cell.

“Shut up!” he barks and you couldn’t care less about his crabbiness.

“Your crew is waiting outside,” you giggle and turn into Frost, escorting the grouchy Clown in the direction of the exit you know it’s safe to take.

“Would you look at that?” The Shark teases, not being able to contain his laughter.

“Holy shit!” Panda tries to keep it together yet it’s impossible: the real Frost gives them a dismissing glare, annoyed Y/N is lovingly holding The Joker’s arm as they come down the stairs, definitely engaged in some sort of argument.

“That’s obviously not me!” Jonny mutters and there are more disrespectful remarks from the henchmen patiently waiting for their boss.

“It’s still funny as hell!” Richard underlines and swallows his sentence when Y/N posing as Frost kisses The Joker’s cheek.

“One more sound out of you jerks and I’ll bash your brains in!” Jonny threatens because he’s sick and tired of Y/N playing charades at his expense.

Thankfully you switch to your old self immediately after but the team is glad they’ll have something to tease Frost with in the weeks to come. Although it can be overdone: under the apparent calmness he has quite a wretched temper.

“Delivered as agreed,” you cheerfully announce to his gang and follow J even if he’s not thrilled about it.

“Get lost!” he angrily stomps, pushing you away when you grab his hand again.

“Stop being so rude!” you remodel your body after his and he takes a deep breath, staring back at another fabulous J courtesy of Y/N.

“Stop mimicking me!!!” he sneers and Panda comments in a low tone, convinced he’s far behind to safely say it:

“Two Jokers. God Forbids!”

A couple of goons nearby snicker and the amusement abruptly halts when you raise your voice:

“I heard that!!!”

“Huh?” J inquires.

You just lift your shoulders up, not wanting to distract him from what he has to focus on: making sure he fulfils your demand.

The First Lock  

“You’re still here?!” The King of Gotham comes out of the bathroom, intensely drying his wet hair with a towel. “I thought that by the time I’m out of the shower you’ll be gone.”

You gaze at his naked body, reckoning it’s a nice coincidence to be compatible with such a beautiful specimen. Could be much worse.

“Why don’t you want to help me?” you ask and The Joker is aware what you’re referring to. “I’ve been begging you for a year; I must emphasize I’m losing hope and I will probably have to move to another continent in order to find a new prototype that could give me an heir.”

“Not my problem. Why do you want a kid?” he tosses the towel on the floor and digs around in the closet for a pair of boxers.

“So I won’t be alone,” the disarming reply makes him tilt his head to analyze the stubborn metahuman that pesters him on a regular basis about crap he doesn’t give a damn about. “The storm is coming,” you shift the subject when the lighting strikes the dark skies in the distance at 1:23 in the morning.

J gulps, uneasy: he saw the 6 feet creature for a split second and it certainly startled him.

“Apologies, Mister Joker,” you try to fix the mistake because it’s evident his reaction is below excitement standards. “The fire bolt must have projected my true nature. You only tolerate the pretty side, don’t you?” the sadness in your demeanor confuses J. “They all do…” Y/N whispers to herself. “Is this better?” you transform into Poison Ivy, then Cat Woman, then a random blonde girl with big boobs; by the seventh option The Joker had enough.

“Cut it out!” he finally finds his favorite underwear and you stand by the bed, opting out to be your human self for his sake.

“Can you please help me?” a disappointed woman pleads since he’s getting ready to go to sleep.

“Why would I help you?” The Joker snaps, hoping you’ll disappear from the premises and let him rest at the mansion he found refuge at after breaking out of Arkham.

Your eyes get teary and he never saw you show any type of weakness before; it’s sort of uncomfortable even for him.

“Because us freaks have to stick together.”

“Speak for yourself!” J gets mad at your affirmation and doesn’t know how to react to the tears rolling down your cheeks. “Mmmmm,” he debates, deep in thought: the insane Clown was captive for almost three months and a half and they surely don’t allow any conjugal visits in that shithole. Not that he has anybody in particular that would come to tend to his urges.

“If I help you,” the sudden switch in mood makes you pay attention, “will you quit bothering me?”

“Y-yes, of course! I swear!” you wipe your eyes, full of hope for once. “Since we’re a match it will only take one time! I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

You watch J take off his boxers and don’t blink when he yanks you in his arms, afraid he might change his mind: he’s not the most well balanced individual on the planet.

“No kissing,” you dodge his lips. “I only need the technical stuff.”

He gives you a cold stare, fed up with the infernal plague:

“You don’t get to make any other requests!” The Joker pulls you into a passionate kiss that unexpectedly shatters the first lock of your heart.

“Wait, wait…” you part from his soft lips, kind of drunk on the intimacy. “Did you hear that?!”

“Hear what?” he shoves Y/N on the bed and slowly crawls on top of her.

“That deafening noise.”

“Nope,” J purrs while carefully listening anyway. A strong thunder shakes the ground and he grins: “I heard it.”

“Not that, it was something else,” you attempt to explain and he buries his face in your cleavage, protesting the unwanted dialogue: 

“After chewing my ears for months, less yapping would be nice!”

You smile, delighted to have tricked The Joker with your fake tears; you sure counted on him being trapped inside the Asylum without any feminine presence to grace his existence and it payed off in the end. Making yourself available when nobody else is around brought the desired outcome: Y/N always gets what she wants.  

************

The Joker moans in his dream, unhappy with your wiggling.

“What is it?” he cuddles up to your body and it feels soft.

“I’m pregnant,” you yawn and he puffs in disbelief.

“Already?... We had sex a couple of hours ago.”

“U-hum,” you say and let him caress your skin, unaware your true essence peeked from behind the human shell. “It shouldn’t take too long. By morning I will have my heir.”

“That fast?” J opens his eyes since the pillow talk is actually interesting.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice I’m different,” you hum with your eyes closed, exhausted from the energy you have to channel into the tiny life growing inside your womb. The soon to be mother is so impatient she won’t skip accelerating the process at the expense of her own vitality.

“No kidding,” The King of Gotham mumbles, smitten with the apparition peacefully dozing off in his arms. The storm outside is wreaking havoc and each time lightning illuminates the blackness J can inspect the delicate feathers covering your body: when he touches you they change colors, red butterflies flying out of the pressed skin. He curiously pokes one and the illusion shatters into glowing dust resembling small fireworks.

The Joker has no clue that he is the first soul to ever see you like this; earlier he didn’t have the opportunity to comprehend what he saw, but he’s sure taking advantage of the situation now to understand what he’s looking at.

“Oh,” he touches your tummy that seems to expand with each passing moment: something is moving and he foolishly smirks without realizing.

Whatever is developing inside Y/N he helped create and strangely enough he can’t wait to see the result.

************

The Second Lock

J drags his feet on the wet grass, watching you admire the sunrise. He woke up and the bed was empty: made him wonder if you vanished without a trace. Yet there you are, waiting for him in the backyard since you figured you owe him this much.

“Mister Joker,” you chuckle, holding something wrapped up in a blanket. “I’m off to my house: thank you for participating in this project,” the indifferent metahuman blurs out: it’s the only speech she prepared. “I requested that everyone owing me money from last night should send it here,” you gesture at the huge duffel bag at your feet. “There’s 35 million dollars in here, all yours as a thank you for helping me.”

“Hm?” he crinkles his nose, insulted at the gift. “Do I look like a prostitute?!”

Why is he getting angry?... That’s a lot of money for a one night stand.

“They get paid for sex, don’t they?” he enlightens the puzzled Y/N. “What’s that?” J nods at the bundle you gently rock.

“My baby.”

“You gave birth?!” he forgets his hurt pride, not believing it’s already done.

“Yes, about 45 minutes ago,” you kiss your daughter’s forehead and her innocence makes your chest tightly constrict before the second lock of your heart is broken to pieces. “Did you hear that?” you interrogate the man you don’t need anymore.

“Hear what?” The Joker rushes to glimpse at the newborn as you step back, discontent he’s trying to take her.

“That horrifying bang! How can you not hear it?!”

“I have no idea what you’re rambling about,” he forcefully snatches the baby from Y/N’s embrace, grunting at her resistance. “Gimme, I wanna check out what I made!”

He parts the blanket aside and…

“Waaaaah,” the mesmerized parent holds his breath:

The sweet angel has wings embedded with neon green feathers, the same shade as J’s crazy hair.

“Are you done?” you attempt to reacquire your treasure and he slaps your arm.

“Little bird…” J runs his fingers along her wings and the mini-metahuman fusses a bit, already establishing a connection with her dad.

That’s exactly what you’re trying to avoid before it’s too late.

“Mister Joker, I have to go, ok??!!” you seek to remove the baby from her father.

“Stop bothering me!” he sucks on his teeth and begins striding towards the mansion while the panicked Y/N runs behind him.

“What are you doing? Give her back!”

“What should we name her?” The Joker ignores your outburst, totally struck with this overwhelming emotion washing over him.

Oh no, she’s already getting under his skin!

“WE?!” you shout, exasperated. “This is MY descendant!”

“You said I participated in the project so she’s half mine!” The Clown implies the obvious.“I think we should name her Emma, I always liked that name,” he adds to Y/N’s dismay. “Pretty bird…” J shuts you down as soon as you open your mouth to protest, stroking his daughter’s feathers.

He’s already addicted and this is a complete disaster!

“I’ll tell my boys to get baby supplies,” he decides without taking into consideration any opinions you might have about his plan.

“Why?!” you cringe at the proposal simply because The Joker is not part of the equation; but your daughter is already bonding with him and that’s something mommy can’t break: she has her own will and set of abilities enabling her to already make choices. You’re not sure why she’s making him believe he could be included into a two party family; there’s no space for a third, otherwise it would be a three party family and that won’t work.

“Don’t you need supplies for her?” he enters the master bedroom where the infant was conceived only hours ago.

You’re still on the patio, fuming at his absurdities.

“No, I have to go home! I’ll take care of it! Listen Mister Joker, I’m not expecting anything from you! ” you underline the truth and his witty response baffles Y/N:

“I was sure expected though to get naked and have sex right after escaping Arkham, huh?!” and The Joker protectively covers his daughter’s ears, his messed up brain figuring out she shouldn’t hear that. “Where’s home anyway, huh?” the tirade continues.

“That’s none of your business!” you shriek and he repositions Emma in his arms, preparing to lecture her mother when he gets distracted by the growth spur.

“Did she just get…bigger??!!!”

“Yes,” you join him in the middle of the room, explaining things you shouldn’t because frankly you should be at your residence by now. “She’s using capabilities inherited from me in order to speed up her evolution and then take a break to recharge around one year old landmark.”

“Fascinating,” J gushes while placing Emma on the couch: the baby is napping, not bothered by the quarrel anymore. “Wait here; I’ll go instruct my men on what we need.”

This is the limit to make you lose your marbles.

“There. Is. No. WE!” you thud on the wood floor and The Joker watches you get taller and taller until you can barely fit under the vaulted ceiling, electing to show him what he’s messing with. The metahuman transforms into the nightmare she really is: dark and sinister, covered in black feathers with sharp, long claws and fangs ready to tear apart the human trespassing a fine line.

That’s not what The Clown saw last night: you keep the beast caged but now IT needs to come out, otherwise he won’t understand the seriousness of his circumstances.

“You are not needed!” your heavy steps make the ground shake. “You are not wanted!” you corner The Joker between the table and the couch Emma is resting on. “Don’t stay in my way or you’ll regret it!!!! I’m taking my daughter and we’ll go: don’t try to stop me or I’ll kill you!!!” and you bend over to snarl in his face, prepared to shred him to pieces.

Eerie silence while J is gathering all his strength to put up with the fucked up events leading to this moment.  

“You two can’t go,” he straightness his back, so stiff one could think he swallowed a broomstick.

“Why not?” you smell his skin, antagonized.

The Joker tries to look as imposing as possible but he’s still half your size; nothing else in his mind besides some words of wisdom he’s about to repeat:

“Because us freaks have to stick together.”

You unravel your tusks, displeased with his strategy:

“Speak for yourself!”

That went down the drain fast, J thinks while the hideous mug a few inches away from his face doesn’t bulge. His eyes wander off to the sofa and he gasps:

“Where’s the baby?!”

A sharp claw points towards the ceiling and he looks up only to notice Emma snuggling in her blanket.

“Oh my God!” his eyes get big. “What is she doing there?!”

“Snoozing!”

“She’s gonna fall!” The Joker circles around you, worried about the angel.

“She’s not going to fall; she’s comfortable,” you huff and reach to caress her.

“Where are the wings?!” J glares at the gigantic mother tending to her peculiar offspring.

How many people have witnessed such bizarre sight? NONE. And yet The Clown is asking questions without a trace of disgust or judgement; only pure curiosity.

“They’ll come and go, she can’t fully control them yet.”

“Can you…can you turn into your usual self?” he suggests. “You’re very ugly like this and it’s spooking me out.”

“Do you know you’re interested in us because she’s making you?” the monster bites without using her fangs. “You’re useless, yet she wants you around.”

“Oh yeah?” The Joker’s attitude escalates despite the sticky context. “You’re useless also since you chased me until I slept with you; she exists thanks to my help! You should be ecstatic!!”

“Money is not enough?!” you gradually switch to the Y/N he’s familiar with even if you’re still mad.

“I have money,” The King of Gotham pretends not to be relieved by the welcomed transmutation.

“Then what do you want?” you attempt to compromise for your daughter’s sake.

“My birds,” he calmly admits.

You debate on his stupid reply: is J deaf and didn’t catch the memo?! He might be because he keeps on telling you he didn’t discern the odd, loud noises you heard twice so far.

You are not aware it would be such a blessing to hear those sounds again: it could mean the unconventional family Emma is trying to keep together might actually work.    

Also read: MASTERLIST

Diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[ladylynse]

Hi! It’s me again :D Okay, this particular ask is gonna be a bit angsty and bitter but I really curious about it. So, there has been a few fan theories about how Chat Noir might go rouge and defecting to Hawkmoth’s side either because he found out the truth and sincerely shares those same goals or he’s going trick everyone by going undercover without letting anyone know. How will the rest of Secret Quartet react to his ‘betrayal’ and how will they cooperate with Ladybug in regards to this?

@queenofhearts7378 is probably the best person to ask about these sorts of things but I do enjoy giving my take on it (ie I’m still glad to be asked) so here goes nothing.

It would come as a shock, of course. They wouldn���t believe it of him until they see proof of it. He never let on anything the last time they worked together, and he was always so enthusiastic about defeating Hawk Moth with Ladybug whenever the subject came up. He wanted to prove to her that the two of them made a good team, that they should stay a good team. Partners. (Jake had pointed out that, as he understood it, she already did, but Adrien would always dismiss him. There have been too many times where he’s unwittingly left Ladybug to fight the akuma alone; being the one to help her defeat Hawk Moth would prove to both of them that he’s worthy of being her partner and always was, despite the occasional setback and moonlighting as part of the Secret Quartet.)

Ladybug hadn’t met them before this, and she doesn’t know their real identities. She just knows them as Phantom, the American Dragon, and the Ninja. The only reason she can contact them now is that Chat Noir—with their permission—had entrusted her with their contact info. In case he was away and she desperately needed him. In case something happened.

She had never thought something like this would happen.

She didn’t realize anything was amiss at first. He didn’t turn around and threaten her with Cataclysm. He just…missed a few more times than usual. Made a few more mistakes. Every time, it gave the person they were fighting an opportunity to get the jump on her. She didn’t think anything of it at the time. The attacks had gotten more frequent, and they were both exhausted. When she went to recruit other Miraculous users to help with a particular fight, he never questioned it, and she could see how tired he was. How his usual cockiness had become a bit more forced, his smiles more strained. She’d thought it normal. She’d been making more mistakes, too. They’d had a lot of close calls.

She didn’t suspect sabotage, didn’t realize the truth, until she was rooted in place by a villain who could control plants. Chat Noir was still free, and he hadn’t used his Cataclysm yet. She’d called for him to free her.

“I’m sorry, my lady,” he’d said. “I can’t.” And then he’d turned away. Left her to the mercy of the akuma.

Hawk Moth had nearly won that day.

Ladybug had done what she’d felt she’d needed to do. She’d gone to Alya and done an exclusive interview with the Ladyblog. She’d told Paris about Chat Noir’s treachery. She made it clear that they didn’t know his reasons, asked that they not condemn him too harshly until they knew more, but she warned everyone that he was not to be trusted. She didn’t want anyone following him in the belief that he was still a hero. This wasn’t a Copycat, this was her partner. Former partner.

When Alya asked who he really was so everyone would be able to keep an eye out for him, Ladybug was forced to admit she didn’t know. They had never revealed their identities to each other, made no contingencies to do so. If she had known Chat’s identity, she could have told everyone who he was—but if he had known hers, he would have had another way of defeating Ladybug.

When Ladybug asks to meet up with the trio, she tells them the story again and shows the account of the fight Alya has on the Ladyblog. They are still reluctant to believe the truth. They still think of him as their partner.

She asks them who he is. She knows they associate when they aren’t all wearing masks. She knows the American Dragon has a human form, knows Phantom can pass as human, knows the Ninja just needs to remove his mask to rejoin society, just as she does.

They all exchange glances.

None of them volunteer the information.

“He might be controlled,” the American Dragon points out. “This might just be a different form of magic. There’s…a lot of different kinds. Way more than just what you know with your kwamis. The Ninja deals with that kind of thing almost on a daily basis, and I’ve run into my fair share.”

“This has been going on for weeks. Would a spell last that long?”

“It would if it’s renewed,” the dragon replies.

“Or if the connection is just never broken in the first place,” adds the Ninja. “Like the Am Drag said, it depends on the kind of magic. What I’m used to? That would probably last if I didn’t stop it. I’ve seen animals controlled for a long time. Humans wouldn’t be much different.”

“Ghosts can possess people for ages, too,” Phantom puts in, “but there are some obvious tells with that, especially when the ghost in question doesn’t know the person they’re supposed to be impersonating very well.”

Ladybug thinks they won’t help her, and her desperation shows on her face. “We’ll check up on him,” the Ninja says. “Drop by for a surprise visit. See how things go.”

“He’ll know I told you.”

They looked at each other again. “We’ve been doing this for longer without him,” Phantom finally says. “He won’t be able to trap all of us, even knowing what we can do. We’ll find out what we can and report back to you.”

“If you find something,” she says, “don’t bother reporting back to me. Just stop him. I can find out the truth then.”

Danny winds up doing advanced scouting. He can’t identify anything terribly different in how Adrien is acting, so he finds Plagg. When he offers Plagg some camembert, Plagg looks devastated. He doesn’t take it. He also refuses to say anything, but that already tells Danny all he needs to know.

Something is definitely up.

They change their plans and decide to send Jake in alone with a story of being in town to meet up with the new French Dragon. Something about intercontinental relations in the magical community. Jake never did pay enough attention to that sort of thing, and Adrien would know that, so he figures the excuse will work.

Adrien doesn’t let on that he suspects anything out of the ordinary, easily deflects Jake’s tentative questions, and seems his usual self. He passes the few more subtle tests Jake manages to do to check for some sort of magical control, too—ghost possession included.

They decide not to take risks. They know how dangerous Adrien can be as Chat Noir and aren’t keen to battle their friend. The plan is for Danny to possess him, take him somewhere else, let him be tied up, and swallow what’s basically a truth potion brewed up by Fu before Danny stops overshadowing him.

That gets derailed the moment Danny runs into the ghost shield that blocks him from entering Adrien’s room.

That erases any lingering doubts they had. Adrien had planned for them even before he knew Jake was in town. Randy tries sneaking in instead, but he gets caught on the surveillance cameras Adrien never used to have pointed towards his bathroom window. He is dealt with as any intruder might be—burglars wear masks, too, after all—and he knows better than to say who he really is.  Danny ends up breaking him out of prison while Jake uses his magic to impersonate Nathalie when they know she is out of the house.

Adrien’s father is the one to realize something is up. He wants to know why Nathalie is back already. Jake makes his apologies, saying he’d forgotten something, that it wouldn’t happen again and that he’d be quick about it— And then Gabriel says something that Jake later realizes is a reference to something. It is a test.

He fails it.

He just hadn’t realized he’d failed it at the time because he hadn’t realized Gabriel would know to test him, would know what he could do.

He hadn’t realized how much there was to this.

None of them had.

It isn’t until much later that he works it out. It isn’t until he finds himself on his hands and knees in a park, surrounded by grass pockmarked with chunks of ice and scorch marks and no idea how he got there, that he realizes what happened. The green shield in front of him drops as a flash of red passes over, erasing all the damage, and Jake looks up. He isn’t surprised to see the white butterfly flying away.

“I’m sorry,” he says to all of them. Then, to Ladybug, who had helped him to his feet, “I know what happened.”

Jake doesn’t know if it is just a ruse on Chat Noir’s part, doesn’t know if he is merely pretending to work with Hawk Moth to bring him down from the inside, doesn’t know if all of this has merely been a way to prove his loyalty to Hawk Moth and gain his trust before he makes his move to steal the Butterfly Miraculous—

But Jake does know why it might not be.

He does know what might have caused their friend to turn.

“Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste,” he says, “and Hawk Moth is his father.”

(That’s when they stop keeping secrets from each other. They’re more aware of the risks now, but they have a target—two targets—and Marinette fills in Master Fu. None of the trio wants a Miraculous for themselves—they’d rather stick with their own powers—so she recruits the other heroes, the ones who know how to use the powers they’ve been granted because they’ve helped before. They’re introduced to the trio only by their hero identities and vice versa, but they’re told the truth about Hawk Moth and Chat Noir. Queen Bee thinks they have it wrong—Gabriel would never endanger Adrien—and Carapace doesn’t want to believe that his best friend would ever betray them like this—especially Ladybug, since he knows how Adrien feels about her—and Rena Rouge hates the idea but doesn’t question its validity—because she’s realized that masks don’t need to be physical, and if Adrien has been Chat Noir all along, well, clearly he’s better at hiding behind one than she’d ever realized. “Sometimes you just don’t know a person as well as you think you do,” she says, and Ladybug swallows and starts to lay out a plan without meeting her eye.)

[whatyoufish4]

Lessons From Loki: #45

45. It’s okay to look Foolish.

“I’m evolving the character, developing him, and inventing new things for people to appreciate, or love to hate, or laugh at.  I’m usually the butt of the joke.  Let’s face it.”

– Tom Hiddleston, Collider interview, September 2017

It might be a little bit of a simplification to say that this one is where Ragnarok lost some Loki fans, but I think it is undeniably a representative sticking point. And, to be fair: I am not unsympathetic to where such fans are coming from. Nobody wants to see a character they adore – a character they relate to – being ridiculed. Who, after all, likes to be made fun of?

But to be fair to Ragnarok, this is not a new idea. Hiddleston wasn’t just referring to the newest film when he said that. This started at least back in Avengers 1, when Loki – who had just spent the last two hours being Mr. Powerful, Dangerous, Sophisticated Master-Villain – gets Hulk!Smashed in a scene played entirely for laughs. It’s one of the biggest laughs in the movie. (This moment probably, to this day, remains Loki’s most iconic scene, at least in terms of what sticks in people’s memories; there’s a reason it’s referenced in both Ragnarok and Infinity War.) There’s also the scene where a dying Coulson blasts Loki through a wall (“So that’s what it does”), and a few other knocks and punches that are meant to make us giggle as Loki gets what’s coming to him.

This is, of course, happening when Loki is a straight-up villain. A broken-hearted, hurt-them-to-hide-your-own-hurt villain, yes, but a villain all the same. So something a bit different is going on with the jokes at Loki’s expense in the movies beyond. The Dark World continues the idea of Loki holding layers of cruelty, sarcasm, and cold elegance as a mask over that broken heart – but the movie also pokes at those layers to see the humanity underneath. And one of the ways those layers are prodded at is by the continuation of humorous comeuppances.

Thor handcuffing Loki’s hands when he doesn’t expect it (“I thought you liked tricks”). Jane punching Loki in the face (“That was for New York”). Thor tossing Loki out of a spaceship without warning (“I see your time in the dungeons has made you no less graceful, Loki!”). Loki gets his own chance to make jokes and poke fun (reading during the jail break will never not be the best thing in the history of the world) – but he definitely is the butt of the joke (in a manner of speaking) on more than one occasion.

Ragnarok, of course, continues the trend in spades. “I’m not a witch.” – “Then why do you dress like one?”  Loki’s reaction to seeing the Hulk. Thor pitching a bottle at his head when Loki’s tied up. Get Help. The electrocution sequence. And let’s not forget, “I HAVE BEEN FALLING … FOR THIRTY MINUTES!” My audience loved all of these moments; laughter abounded through the theater.

But the laughter is different now. We’re not laughing at a villain – we’re giggling alongside a character we’ve grown to love. The jokes are no longer about giving the bad guy his just deserts; they’re about knocking a mid-redemption Chaotic Neutral down a few pegs to help him get past his lingering vestiges of selfishness and arrogance and become something more.

The jokes are also about humanizing him. I’ve talked about this before, how very important it was to me in Ragnarok that we see Loki at his most human. I love it for many reasons, but one I haven’t talked about quite so much is the fact that Loki at his most human means a Loki who is not always in complete control, who does make silly mistakes, whose plans sometimes work but just as often blow up in his face. Loki looks foolish sometimes – and that, in itself, has become important to me.

I hate looking foolish. I got teased rather mercilessly throughout the entirety of elementary school, and that insecurity has never quite left me as a result. I used to embarrass quite easily; even as I’ve gotten more self-assured, really just over the last few years, I still have the occasional knee-jerk reaction to being teased or laughed at. Nowadays, if someone giggles at a mistake I made, it’s often good-natured – and I’m usually able to accept it as such. But I’m not quite all the way there. If it hits me the wrong way, or if I’ve done a mistake or error in judgement that I feel is particularly dumb, I can get quite unbearably embarrassed.

So one of the things I love so about Loki’s own moments of looking the Fool is that it reminds me that it’s not actually that big a deal. Making mistakes, looking a bit funny, falling and landing flat on your face – it’s part of being human. And being human is what makes Loki’s redemption possible. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s precisely because Loki’s been knocked down a few pegs throughout The Dark World and Ragnarok that he’s allowed to take his ego along for the ride during his grand “YOUR SAVIOR IS HERE!” entrance: he’s earned the right to be proud.

Looking occasionally foolish does not negate your dignity for all time. I love, I love, that Loki is the butt of the joke one moment and then getting a bad-ass hero shot the next. I love that one of his plans blows up in his face, and the next results in him saving the day. I love that he’s a Fool as often as he’s a Trickster. 

Dignity is not a constant. Neither is embarrassment. It’s okay to fall and flail.

Because it just means you’re human. Even if you are a Trickster god.

(Lessons from Loki)

[eenefangirlanalysis]

Kevin and Nazz enter the factory well after Ed and Eddy have left.

See, if Kevin didn’t have that bent tire they would have gotten to the factory in a heartbeat and captured the Eds.

Okay, I just realized that Kevin and Nazz came through the door that the Eds didn’t batter through. Was it really unlocked the whole time? The Eds were quite excited so they may have automatically believed that it was locked. If this is true then it add to my theory that this factory was abandoned.

Kevin has to take his bike inside. Well, maybe I would too considering they’re in an area which is unknown to them. You never know what could be out there, Like the possible killer who Eddy may have inadvertently killed in the woods.

Upon Nazz questioning the rubber snakes Kevin shushes her. Or rather he says, ‘shup’.He practically told his girl friend to shut up!

And Nazz is completely head over heels by this.

She likes being talked down to? Or she thought it made Kevin look really cute.

What does Nazz find so attractive in Kevin? They’ve been close friends for a while. I think it’s because they’re able to tell one another about anything as they’re able to relate to having divorced parents. 

Kevin has always seen Nazz for herself. Once he learns that he has feelings towards her Kevin thinks he should act differently. They were never meant to be in a relationship. They were better friends. A relationship may work out later on once they understand love and themselves.

Nazz points out the lit up office. 

Edd left the door open when he emerged from the office. Maybe he closed it offscreen. The only reason it magically closed itself is for Kevin’s cop routine we’ll see in a moment.

“You are so on fire today, Nazz!” Kevin remarks as he playfully and roughly punches Nazz on the arm.

These are my favorite screenshots which really describes how the true Nazz feels.

What did Kevin mean by that?

Nazz has always had a hard time trying to understand who she is. She has experimented on different personalities seeing which persona the cul-de-sac reacts to most. 

Nazz is considered to be a flat character. The writers didn’t know how to expand her character or make her stand out. She’s basically the girl next down. She’as ultimately forgotten by fans since she adds nothing to the series. 

Not for me. Minor characters intrigue me. They’re in a scene for a minute to talk to the main character. And then they leave. Upon seeing this character you want to learn more about who they are and the relationship they have with the main character.

Nazz has a different relationship with each character. She has interacted with each cul-de-sac kid. Nazz’s wish is for everyone to get along and live in harmony. That’s why she always has parties. She doesn’t see the reason why the Eds have to be exiled. I know there are times where Nazz has taken the kids side in making fun of the Eds but its only because she wants to fit in with the kids.

The cul-de-sac kids are not the best people to look up to. All the Eds ever wanted was their friendship. And they could never tell, They didn’t bring Nazz any good either. Since they, and fans, responded more to her dumb blonde personality she chose to stick with it making a fool of herself.

Kevin’s line hurts Nazz. It makes her worry that she’s been taking on the act of air head too seriously. Does that affect her relationship with Kevin? Aside from Kevin, what does it do for her? Nazz is slowly losing herself.

I love what the movie was doing with Nazz’s character. It’s a shame that we didn’t get to see more. Viewers witnessed Nazz in a much different light. A light that revealed what she has been repressing.

Kevin decides to do a good cop-bad cop routine and kicks upon the office door.

I take it Kevin must watch a lot of action movies.

Do you think Kevin would be a police officer some day? He always comes to the kids rescue. 

And he must be strong seeing how the door crumbles into dust. 

This is where I want to know more about Kevin other then how he loves sports and constantly harrasses the Eds. There is more to him. He’s hiding how he truly feels about himself along with others. He cares. It’s hard for him to show that.

Edd hasn’t read too many mystery novels. He never turned the light off.

I remember pointing out how Edd was coming out from the office about to lecture Ed and Eddy. He wasn’t done with the office yet. Under the impression that his friends disappeared he forgot about the light being on.

Kevin knows that the Eds have been here. He can feel it.

Here’s another example of Kevin’s paranoia. He couldn’t sit still throughout the entirety of See No Ed. There are theories which state that Kevin has anxiety. Much like Eddy he also does a good job of masking it. He doesn’t want his friends to feel sorry for him. That ruins his tough guy jock appearance. And he also doesn’t want to look unhappy.

My head canon is that Kevin’s parents are divorced. Kevin lives with his Dad who have hard time connecting emotionally, and his mom lives in the city. He rarely ever gets to see her because his mom refuses to see his dad on account of how many arguments they’ve had. 

Nazz is the only person in the cul-de-sac who knows about Kevin’s divorced parents.

Although Kevin and Rolf are close friends he doesn’t feel that emotional bond. Rolf has different customs. He may not understand the meaning of divorce. 

My favorite Kevin episode was Pick an Ed. He acted so nicely around ‘Carl’. If this is how he acts around people outside his cul-de-sac friend group then he must be a different person who also puts on different masks when he has to face the world. Kevin grew a bond with ‘Carl’. If he gave their friendship some time maybe he would have opened up.

Kevin and Eddy would make great friends seeing how they are similar.

Instead of finding all these gags funny it only makes Kevin more riled up.

Nazz freaks out over a fake rat.

Kevin rather violently pushes Nazz out of the way.

He’s not as gentle like how we saw in the beginning of the movie.

I love Kevin’s little foot dance. He’s ready to fight this rat.

These gags only make Kevin angrier by the second.

Head Canon: Before his mom left, Kevin was close with her. She was the clown of the family. I think she always used to play magic tricks and play gags. Seeing these make Kevin angry longing for the old days. 

His mother’s leaving messed him up as person. He struggles with anxiety and who he is. That’s the reason why he bullies Eddy. He’s jealous of him. Kevin thinks that Eddy knows who he is upon witnessing how good he is at talking in front of crowds, and even his little talents.

He’s not angry over the missing Eds. He wants to understand why his mom left leaving him confused.

Nazz was painfully shoved into the file cabinet.

Essentially it’s Kevin’s bike that angers Nazz, but what if it’s Kevin himself? He avoids feelings, belittles the community, ad never thinks about Nazz. 

Nazz only wanted to be in a relationship because she wanted to follow along with society.

Be your own person.

Nazz slams the cabinet back into place where she comes across a helpful clue.

Uh... you okay, Kevin?

He literally destroys the toy rat out of anger that they can’t find the Eds. 

Say, what happened to his wounds anyway?

Rolf’s stomach stays stitched up throughout the rest of the movie. Nazz doesn’t grow her back. And Jonny’s head is under that melon so we can’t tell if he still has an indentation from the bear trap. The artists should have kept his burn marks on his face. He’s out to get revenge.

Nazz shows her artifact to Kevin.

Kevin has no idea what these three words refer to.

Okay, KevEdd shippers if KevEdd really existed wouldn’t Kevin know Edd like the back of his hand? 

EddEddy is practically canon. Edd’s trademark is repeating one word three times. And Eddy knows that as he spends his days with Edd trying to understand his person. Kevin and Edd do get along but he’s never made an effort to get to know him.

Nazz has to point out that this is something Edd would say.

And also decides that this is a perfect time to make a move.

I love Kevin’s reaction. He still doesn’t know how to act around Nazz. They’ve been close friends for some time. They weren’t ready to have a relationship. Maybe they’re only to be friends. 

[mrfirefoxgym]

A glimpse of hell - mean nicknames created  by the Chinese Gymternet

NDISCLAIMER: 

1. Do not read this if you are easily offended by mean names, satirical jokes or dark humour. 

2. The Chinese gymternet culture, and its internet culture as a whole, is very different from the ones on tumblr. Partly due to its insularity, certain terms used in the Chinese gymternet could come across to you as too rude or brass or unacceptable. However, please also take into account the difference in the cultural aspect as well. As a common dweller in the Chinese gymternet community, I can promise that 95% of the satirical teasings or mean names created by the Chinese has no derogatory intention. The truly degrading, racist or sexist nicknames have also been filtered out by me, so rest assured. 

So now, if you are ready, please read on: 

--------------------------------------------The line to hell-------------------------------------------

Part 1. Basic terminology to nickname-creation

A. 野鸡 (ye-ji) noun./adj.  - pheasant; wild chicken (direct translation)

“Before anyone is worthy of being bestowed upon a nickname by the Chinese gymternet god, they are all wild chickens.”

The term “wild chicken” is not limited to the gymternet community - it is the umbrella term for all athletes who are either 1.not well known 2.not very good at the sport 3.both. Wild chicken can be used both as a noun and an adjective. Though initially carrying a negative and even derogatory connotation, the tone now is much more neutral. An example for the use of “wild chicken” with a neutral connotation would be - 

“Who is that wild chicken on bars? She’s pretty good.”

When used as an adjective, it is normally used to describe a routine that is underwhelming. For example “Songsong’s vault is quite 野鸡.”

When used to describe man, use 野鸭, or wild duck, instead of chicken. 

B. 女士/小姐 noun. - Ms/Mdm/Miss

Using an overly formal term to address an athlete is one of the most basic satirical trick used by the Chinese community. I’m not sure when and who first created this but oh boy does this thing spread fast! Similar to wild chicken, this term first carries a negative connotation, but some people liked it so much they start to call everybody, including the ones they love, with a Ms something something. More often than not though this term still carries a mocking tone to it.

Example: “Oh what a spectacular performance by Mdm____, she could have scored full marks in the 10-points scoring system!”

C. 好粉丝 noun. - Good fans

With its true meaning being “biased fans”, this word is often used to mock comments or other netizens for being...well...too biased. 

Example: “Good lord, those good fans are saying ____ is capable of winning gold again, what a joke!”

With the 3 most basic terminology in mind, lets move to more specific nicknames for gymnasts and countries. 

Part 2 - specific nicknames and its origin (names not written in any order, just writing them down as I remember them)

1. Victoria Komova - 擦擦，擦地，擦四步 （scratchy，ground-wiper, wipe-4-steps) 

Origin: 擦 (pronounced as tsah), means “to wipe” or “to scratch”. The name 擦擦 came after YOG in 2010 when Komova scratched her feet on the ground during bars final and then backed 4 steps during floor final - the Chinese netizens then begin saying that Komova is wiping the floor with her feet and there goes the “wipe-4-steps” and the “ground-wiper”. While used as a mocking nickname initially, most people now, even her fans, still refer to her as “scratchy” or “擦擦“. 

2. Kyla Ross - 敦煌飞仙 (Buddha’s heavenly leap)

Origin: It is extremely hard to translate the proverb 敦煌飞仙. The term “敦煌” is related to Buddism whereas 飞仙 means something like “flying to heaven”? It’s a buddist term and I’m not able to capture the exact meaning as well... anyway, the term came after Kyla’s super awkward fell during her 2015 Jesolo floor routine, and then one of the netizens who didn’t really like her wrote “OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL, ITS LIKE A BUDDHA’S HEAVENLY LEAP”, and then suddenly everybody started to use it lmao. It is initially used to address Kyla Ross’s fall, but has now extended to all kinds of lurching kind of fall on floors. It definitely is still used to mock people though.

3.  Riley McCusker - 鸡翅膀 - Chicken Wing

Origin: Her 2016 floor choreography is just really weird and has hand movements like a “flapping wild chicken”, and if you have read the things I wrote above you will know being related to a “wild chicken” is NOT good for your image on the gymternet lmao. 

4. Nastia Liukin - 青蛙，娃娃 - frog, froggy

Origin: It’s due to the cowboying on her double front. One of the disgusted netizen commented that her posture during the double front is like a “leadping frog” and thats it lol. It is also notable that Nastia is a pretty controversial figure in the chinese gymternet, with large groups of fans and haters. The haters all address her as froggy and the fans will call her 公主 - princess. 

5. Deng Yalan - 种地小姐 - Miss peasant

Origin: So last year it became clear to the fans that Deng got addicted to a K-pop star and ended up semi-quitting her gymnastics career. Then there is this huge whooha regarding what she’s gonna do dropping gymnastics and her education at such a young age in the future. Then somebody digged out her family’s background and realized that her family is not very well-off in the first place and they live in the rural areas. So disappointed fans begin calling her Miss peasant to mock how she somehow ruined her own fledgling gymnastics career. 

6. Huang Qiushuang - 面膜小姐/黄面膜 - Miss Face mask/Facemask Huang

Origin: When Huang retired from gymnastics she opened a micro online shop to sell face masks. Such micro online shop in China is known for their dubious quality as many products are made without proper channels and regulation, and so yep people begin to call her Miss face mask for selling “fake products”. Whether the products are truly fake is unknown til today. 

7. Zeng Siqi & Chen Siyi - 旅游小姐/拍手小姐/提包小姐 - Miss vacation/Miss hand-clapper/Miss bag-carrier

Origin: Siqi only did beam (and fell) during the 2013 individual world championship, whereas Siyi didn’t do a single apparatus during the 2015 team final, so mean netizens begin mocking that “all Siyi did is to hold others’ tea cup and clap her hands and carry bags”, and then they became Miss hand-clappers. Dowell is also sometimes addressed as such too due to her lack of participation in 2013′s WC. 

8. Liu Jinru - 搞笑艺人 - Comedian

Origin: Because her dance and wobbles and fell are all quite...clumsy looking? Then some people said she looked like a comedian trying to make people laugh with all her wobbles and mistakes and now everybody begin calling her that.

9. Larisa Iordache - 影后 - movie queen

Origin: Prior of Olympics in 2012 rumour has it that Larisa is injured or something like that, and then she showed up to the competition almost fine (she fell on beam and floor but her difficulties are all back), and Chinese netizens were like “WASN’T SHE INJURED” when she showed up with a crazy difficulty beam routines, and there you’ve got the name!

10. Diana Bulimar - 布尼玛老太婆 - Witch Bulimar

Origin: This and the next one is probably the most offensive out of all terms SO PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. Its also kind of hard to explain... so it all started with a superrrrrrrrrrrr Bulimar hater who also happens to be super active in the Chinese gymternet. Boy did he HATE Bulimar. And then since Romania’s struggling with the depth of talent pool the renowned hater started the “Bulimar is a witch and she cast a cremation spell on team Romania so that the entire gym program will be cremated” thing, and he talked about it in like every single fucking post lol, and it gradually got picked up. Bulimar is also known for having a “floor music of curse” back in 2012, as whoever is doing beam when Bulimar is using the 2012 floor music will either wobble or fall on beam. 

11. Romanian team - 火葬国 - Cremnation

Origin: Its the same as above, 火葬国 sounds super offensive as it means “country of cremation”, it’s a very bad joke and I apologize if anyone is offended... So anyway according to this hater Didi cast a cremation spell on the country’s gymnastics program so that it will all burn to ashes, and because hes so active everybody got brainwashed and start to address the team as “cremation team”. 

12. Other Romanian gymnasts cept Didi, Lari and Cata - 字母女士，Miss Alphabets

Origin: So it goes like the Romanian fans are super upset about how the new comers are unable to match the ability of Didi, Lari and Cata, or even do something that is memorable. And so in the cruel world of Chinese gymternet community such gymnasts do not deserve a distinctive nickname - they ended being called Miss H, Miss I, Miss O and Miss G, things like that. 

13. Team China - 宙国 - Team Universe

Origin: This may sounds nice but it is not - it is used to mock overly nationalistic chinese fans who thinks team China deserve to win everything and anything, so much so they own the universe lmao, so they instead call these fans as “fans of team universe”. 

14. Maria Paseka - 845

Origin: The degree that Paseka is able to turn on her Amanar in 2012. She got better afterwards but the name sticked with her for life. 

15. Mattie Larson - 冷宫怨妇 - Unwanted bitter women

Origin: Not a very good translation, but its hard to be translated :/. 冷宫 is a place in ancient China where the emperor’s least popular mistress are kept, whereas 怨妇 means very bitter women. The term started after her falls on floor in the 2007 team final, and rumours had it that Marta had enough of her and is never gonna use her ever. So in that sense I guess the nickname captured what happened pretty well :/. 

16. Zhang Nan - 巨星 - Super star/Icon

Origin: Netizens just don’t understand why Zhang Nan is so well-liked by the judges, even when the fans think she did her skills poorly in some cases. And then somebody said the famous line that “because she’s a super star” and then KABOOM everybody used it to mock her. There are also variant terms such as Zhang Nan’s late-as-always Ono on bars, called the “star turn”, and a falling LOSO mount on beam, called the “star mount”. 

BONUS: 

Deng Linlin - noun. - a unit used to measure the extent of one’s leg separation. 

Example: Liukin’s cowboying on her double front is so bad its like 1.5 Deng Linlin. 

And....thats about all that I can think of, against, please don’t be offended if some of your favs are on the list, most of these terms are meant as bad jokes, and some of them have shifted in their connotations so much even the fans start to use it. To conclude, I wish all of you have a nice laugh after reading this!  I mayyyy do a second issue of this if I have more :)