#and Clark asked us all to sing for Darren

[secondstar-acorn]

can’t think of anything to say other than it was everything I could have ever expected and wanted and hoped for. seeing them perform truly is an electric experience and I am so, so grateful I got to be there. I’ve never felt such overflowing joy and love in one room before and that truly is down to what a one-of-a-kind group Starkid is. I’m so happy and a little emotional that it’s over but like it’s sung in days of summer, “don’t wanna see you go but it’s not forever, not forever” ⭐️💜

[sonnetthebard]

This is kind of a crack idea, but I don't really care and I'm throwing it out anyway

Curt and Owen have to go undercover in a show for a mission(keeping an eye on one of the members of the cast maybe?). The show? Either Spies are Forever or a Hatchetfield show, take your pick -S

S anon... you have been waiting a while for this, and I apologize. With Headless, I needed a moment to recharge. So this is going to be a Modern! SAF fic. And as a treat, we're going original cast in an AU. That's right folks. Extra meta content. You asked for crack, you're gonna get crack. Please note: Most of the stories pertaining to the real people involved in this oneshot are made up based on what facts I know about them/ what I’m able to pick up on personalities. I don’t know any of these people personally, though. This is going to be such a ride, so buckle up.

Genre: Comedy/ Action/ Fluff

Words: 5639

TL;DR: Curt and Owen take the stage in order to monitor Chimera and one of their operatives. The thing is, they only have a vague clue as to who they're going after: he was one of the writers.

TW: Swearing, Guns, Fighting- But not much, this is mostly just gonna be a joke.

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"Next we have... Curt Mega?" The longer-haired one read off, looking at Curt. "Cool name! We might have to use that- if, of course, that's okay with you."

"Oh... yeah, that's fine." Curt chuckled softly.

What, precisely, was Curt doing? Only the thing he'd vowed to Owen that he would never do (other than, of course, leave him): auditioning for a musical. Owen was a total theatre kid, and he'd done his share of musicals. Curt was always in the audience, but he'd jokingly told Owen that he would never be joining him up there. But... here he was. In an audition room. Curt never broke promises, not even joke ones. But these were... extenuating circumstances. In other words, this was for a mission and he had no doubt that Cynthia would actually kill him if he didn't follow through with his orders. Owen gave him a sly, triumphant smirk from across the room, where he was waiting for his audition. Curt got up, following the guy back further into the studio where they were holding auditions.

This mission was an odd one. It was monitoring a potential operative with Chimera Worldwide. Sure, they had the world by storm now- but A.S.S. was getting intel telling them that they might be breaching the privacy rights of people all over the world. In fact, Chimera may be a lot more criminal than they would seem to the naked eye. There was evidence coming to light of plots that could very well end in world domination. The worst part: apparently they were pretty plausible. One world government, puppeted by Chimera. That's why MI6 had sent Owen, and A.S.S. had sent Curt. They were their best agents, and a duo that had proven to work well together.

What did all of that have to do with a musical? To the average joe, nothing. Oh, Chimera had done well. They'd even declined to offer these guys a production grant so as to not seem shady. But... the A.S.S. had reason to believe that one of the writers and producers for the show that they were about to audition for was an operative for Chimera. Now, this play in and of itself may be an independent project. It may have nothing to do with Chimera. But... it was looking like the easiest way to monitor this operative, and so here Curt and Owen were. Owen was thrilled! He loved doing shows. He usually had to slot them into his schedule carefully, though. He couldn't do them during missions. So a mission where he was doing theatre was basically a dream come true for him.

Curt and Owen had chosen roles according to their experience with theatre. Curt had chosen to keep his name as his theatrical stage name, and Owen already did keep his name as a stage name. It was risky, but it also provided their names with a solid cover in the world outside of espionage. Owen had a legitimate resume built. That was why he was going for the lead, currently named 'JB' for 'James Bond' (subject to change). Curt, on the other hand, had stolen his resume from another actor named Curt Mega (who had fully agreed to that and signed an NDA and luckily enough happened to look like Curt). He had literally no acting experience, so he was going for a smaller role: The Informant and Ensemble. Both would likely have eyes on different parts of the production process and the cast. Hopefully they'd get a good idea of what was going on and who their target was. Maybe they'd even get to eliminate the threat! That was Curt's favourite part of missions.

"So, Curt... you did Glee?" The guy who had initially called him asked as they walked.

"Yep!" Curt lied.

"I recognize you! You were one of the Warblers- nice job on that solo in Uptown Girl, by the way." The man chuckled. Oh good. He was passable as the other Curt Mega. "I did Glee too. I was only there for, like, an episode though. But my buddy Darren... well, you probably know him."

"Yeah. He did a phenomenal job as Blaine." Curt smirked. Darren was also on an NDA. The government was being extremely careful.

"I'm Joey Richter. Me and my friends Brian and Corey wrote this show." The man introduced himself, extending his hand. Curt took it, giving him a firm shake. Joey smirked. "Damn... you've got a good shake."

"Thanks." Curt chuckled. He liked this guy. It was hard to imagine right now that he could be talking to an agent for one of the greatest evils known to man since... probably the Nazis. "I'm Curt... I mean, you know that, I just..."

"Yeah, I get it." Joey chuckled along with him. They walked into a room. Inside there were four other men. Two sat behind a table, Curt's supposed 'resume' and headshots laid out in front of them, a stack of papers on the side. Two other men shared a piano bench stationed by a keyboard. None of them were dressed particularly formally. Actually, they were all dressed pretty similarly to Curt. Short-sleeved patterned button-ups were about as formal as it got. So Curt and his black, white and gold striped short-sleeved button-up were in good company. "Hey, guys! This is Curt!"

"Hey! Welcome to the auditions for Spies are Forever!" One of the men behind the table smiled brightly. God, all of these men looked... so innocent. Curt couldn't see any of them being traitors to their country, much less mankind.

"Okay, so that's Brian. The guy beside him is Corey." Joey introduced. Corey waved. "The two guys at the piano bench are Clark and Pierce, our composers and band."

"Hey, Curt." Clark smirked.

"You brought your sixteen bars?" Pierce checked.

"Yep." Curt nodded, popping his 'p' and passing him the binder with his sheet music in it.

He'd brought Being Alive from Company, which Owen said was "such a cliche" and "a terrible choice for a comic show", but it was the song Curt felt most comfortable singing. So he was singing it anyways. Owen was very adamant that Curt had to be careful to actually be cast in the show, but Curt held that that song was his best chance. Curt had always thought he was an okay singer. He had his range that he shined in, and he used that. He never performed though. He wasn't that good. That's why he was going for a mostly non-singing role. He went over his cut with Clark, who was actually the one who would be playing for him. Then he cleared his throat, took a deep breath and gave it the old college try.

The odd thing, Curt thought, was that they seemed very into it. Either they were being very nice to him or they were genuinely enjoying the performance. Curt was a bit surprised by that. Owen was the performer among the two of them. Curt supposed it could just be the song. But then... something else unexpected happened. They asked Curt to do his cold read as 'JB'... and change the name to his own. 'Agent Curt Mega'. It was all getting a bit real for Curt. They liked him. And they liked his cold read. They were laughing during his cold read- and at all the right times! Curt was very confused. This wasn't where he was supposed to shine. He walked out of the audition room, and Owen was called in.

Owen really could not have come out sooner. Curt was anxious. What had he just done? He had given it his best because he thought that the best that could get him was ensemble. Was it going to get him more? Was he ready for more? He was past the point of no return, but... God, what had he just done? Owen came out of his audition, smug and content with himself. Apparently they'd asked him to read multiple sides. Curt hadn't the heart to tell him they'd asked him to read for the lead. A few days passed. Curt almost forgot that he'd even auditioned. That it had been so successful. Basking in the California sun could do that to you. But three days later, it all came back to him all too vividly.

"Curt, I got the email!" Owen announced from where he was lazing on the couch across from Curt in their hotel room. He sat up quickly, eager.

"What does it say?" Curt asked eagerly, sitting up with him. Owen scrolled down on his phone.

"Well... I'm in the show..." Owen furrowed his brows. "But... not in the role I thought. I got Deadliest Man Alive."

"Oh." Curt frowned. "I'm sorry. I know you really wanted the lead."

"It seemed like a juicy part." Owen hummed, still a bit dazed by the rejection. "I was looking forward to it."

"I know, babe." Curt sighed, getting up and wrapping his partner in a hug. "Maybe this one will be even juicier!"

"Maybe..." Owen nodded. "Thank you, love. For trying to make me feel better."

"Yeah, no problem!" Curt smiled softly.

"Did you get your email?" Owen asked.

"I... haven't checked." Curt admitted.

"Well go on, then! Sit! We'll check together!" Owen urged him. Curt sighed, sitting beside him and opening his email. Owen peered over his shoulder. The email from the Tin Can Bros was the first one that popped up right at the top. "Open it, Curt!"

"Okay..." Curt chuckled nervously, pressing the email to open it. He scrolled down, sighing in relief. "I got in, O."

"Congratulations!" Owen cheered, grinning. he was genuinely happy for Curt, and excited to be in the same show. "What role?"

"Let me scroll down..." Curt chuckled, before his heart stopped. Naturally, his laughter stopped with it, and his face fell.

"Love, what is it?" Owen furrowed his brows, concerned by the sudden mood shift. Immediately, his mind went to the worst-case scenario. "Curt, is there anything in there indicating that we might be compromised?"

"No..." Curt shook his head, staring at the role.

"Then... darling, what's wrong?" Owen blinked, before looking over his shoulder. His face fell to a state of shock almost equal to Curt's when he read the words, bolded on the screen: We would like to offer you the role of 'JB', renamed Agent Curt Mega. "Oh..."

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Rehearsals for Spies Are Forever were potentially one of the best times Curt had ever had. Everyone loved him! Apparently, his voice was much better than he'd given himself credit for, as was his acting. Even Owen admitted it. It turned out Curt was perfect for the role. The songs fit right for him, the personality was spot on... the spy was even gay! It was as though it was written specifically for him to perform. Curt truly was having the time of his life. And Owen was loving the role of Deadliest Man Alive. It turned out it was a significantly juicier role than Curt's- funny, dark. And he even had a minor side comedic role to take on, Dick Big. So he could flex his chops in different area. There was a bit of a minor complication with the characters, though.

It turned out Curt's was not the only name that they'd liked. The Tin Can Bros had thought Owen's name was absolutely perfect... for Curt's partner turned villain. Romantic partner turned villain, to boot. They liked the ship name Curtwen. Ironically, both Owen and Joey were playing versions of Agent Owen Carvour- Owen playing him when he was in disguise as Deadliest Man Alive, Joey playing him out of disguise. Owen didn't make a fuss- he couldn't in the position he was in. But he didn't like being portrayed that way, or his name being used that way. The truth was, Owen had used to be morally grey. He'd had a phase where he'd almost betrayed his country and Curt. He'd very nearly done some terrible things. He wouldn't way who for, but Owen had implied it might have been Chimera. But he and Curt had worked through that, and he saw the error of his ways. It hurt seeing his name associated with villainy again. But for the sake of the mission, he literally could not complain.

As for the mission, they weren't really getting too far yet- and that wasn’t for lack of effort. As hard as finding a balance between rehearsal and espionage was, they’d managed to find a routine and stick to it. The work they were doing really should have been productive for them. They'd bugged all three writers and the two composers, but HQ (who was monitoring those so that the boys could focus on rehearsing so that they didn’t become too suspicious) was saying that they'd not gotten any suspicious activity from those except for Joey constantly being with an unidentified girl. But it seemed like that was his girlfriend and not another operative. So either this operative was smart and onto them or taking a hiatus from their work. Background checks were pretty clean. They were going purely off their interactions with these writers, which wasn’t really helping. All five of them were lovely. All five of them were also extremely smart. And all five of them had acting experience. Right now, though... Joey, Clark and Pierce weren't their main suspects. Joey was just too genuine to be bad, as were Pierce and Clark. Plus, if we're looking at technicalities (as Owen tended to), Clark and Pierce were composers, not writers. It was between Brian and Corey- unless something changed. Truly, it was anyone's game.

Owen and Curt were on break. It had been a hard day of rehearsal so far. Curt had just had to rehearse his pseudo-love-song with Mary Kate (who was lovely, but he was a bit jealous of- Owen had called her 'gorgeous' on multiple occasions now), and though it wasn't physically or musically demanding it was hard not to just start laughing. Especially with Curt, a gay man who had experienced this before. And Lauren played his meddling mother during the song, which only made it harder not to laugh. His own mother had no idea what he did or who he was seeing, and it was better that way. She just thought he was a single banker. He liked Lauren’s version of his mom better. She was way funnier. It had taken a bit of time just to get a run in where Curt wasn't giggling the entire time. The song was just so well written! He knew it was so unprofessional (and Owen had certainly reminded him of that) but he couldn't help it! And the Bros were laughing with him, so it was all good. He was glad to be on break, because his sides were killing him. He scrolled through his phone, checking for anything from HQ, before he felt a hand on his back.

"You know, Curt, I don't know if I've told you this lately but you're really, really great!" Joey told him.

"Thanks, man." Curt chuckled. "Thanks for the opportunity!"

"Thank you for coming out for our show!" Joey smirked. His voice dropped to a lower volume. “Listen... you and Owen are dating, right?”

"Yeah..." Curt furrowed his brows. He and Owen had chosen to be open about that. They were all pretty supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. The actor playing Susan and The Informant had even confessed to him that they thought they might be nonbinary- maybe even female leaning. 

"Okay, so for the whole anniversary thing..." Joey fidgeted a bit nervously. "I mean... I've got an anniversary coming up, and, like, it's not my first, but... I think I’ve used every trick in the dating book at this point, and-"

"Wait, you're dating?" Curt blinked.

"Oh! Right, you're new!" Joey started to laugh. "Um... yeah! It's me and Lo."

"You and Lauren?" Curt smirked. He chuckled. "I knew it!"

"We're not public about the relationship yet, though, so... keep it quiet?" Joey pleaded.

"Oh yeah, you're safe." Curt assured him.

"So... any ideas?" Joey asked. “I really want this to be special for her.”

"Have you guys done the beach yet?" Curt offered. "Like, just a picnic- something you both love to eat- out on the beach."

"Yeah, did that two years ago." Joey sighed.

"Alright... how about a museum?" Curt offered. "It can be any museum that has something the two of you could bond over. But... I mean, Owen is super into experiencing art together."

"That we haven't done... not by ourselves on a date." Joey considered. "It doesn't even really have to be art, does it?"

"Nah, that's the beauty of museums! There are museums out there for everything." Curt smirked. “Maybe you two could go to a movie museum.”

"That’s probably more our speed.” Joey chuckled. “Thanks, man!”

"No problem.” Curt winked playfully. Then, he got an idea. He trusted Joey, so hopefully this worked. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

"I mean, I kinda owe you one." Joey chuckled. “Ask away!”

"Have you noticed anyone... acting a bit weird? Like... different from the way they usually do." Curt whispered.

"I... think I know who you mean." Joey nodded. "With Mary Kate... I think she honestly just misses Sean, you know? The rehearsals are a long time for her to be away from him. Those two are so close."

"Yeah... yeah, that must be hard on her." Curt hummed sympathetically. That... wasn't what he'd been going for.

"But I don't know what's going on with Brian." Joey confided in him. "I mean, it's not like he's been acting weird, per se, but... I mean, he always used to be down to just hang after work. But recently, he's been too busy to do that? I honestly thought it was just me who was picking up on that, but like... you're noticing it too?"

"Yeah. Yeah I am." Curt lied, all the sympathy he could muster in his tone. Bingo. He'd just gotten some really, really good intel there. If there was anyone who would be able to know when one of the writers was acting shady, it was Joey. They were his best friends. And Curt tended to agree with Joey anyways. Corey just didn’t give off villain vibes. Neither did Brian, but out of the two of them, Brian gave off more. “Glad it’s not just me.”

"What's he saying about me?" Brian rolled his eyes playfully, approaching his bag from behind them to grab something. Shit. He must have heard his name. 

"Uh..." Joey blushed.

"Oh, he was just telling me about how you two met." Curt lied. Joey gave him a questioning look. But Curt remembered him mentioning it in another one of his longwinded vents. "U of Michigan, Freshmen year. You two got into a lot of trouble."

"He's not telling you any of the bad stuff, is he?" Brian teased.

"Nah, man- I respect the bro code!" Joey scoffed playfully. Curt gave Joey a wink, and Joey gave him a grateful look in return. The wink hadn't gone unnoticed by Brian though.

"Oh god, he is telling you the bad stuff, isn't he?" Brian groaned playfully. "Listen, if Lauren asks, none of it was us."

"Oh don't worry... I'm great with secrets." Curt chuckled. He kinda wanted context now. Knowing those two, it was nothing serious- Joey had a heart of gold. He wouldn't be involved in anything bad. Especially not with his soon-to-be-girlfriend. So probably pranks, or other such shenanigans.

"Guys... I already knew it was you." Lauren rolled her eyes. None of them had noticed her by her own rehearsal bag picking up her water bottle. "It was so obvious... I may have believed you when you blamed Holden like... once? Twice? But you literally signed off half of the time."

"We did?" Joey blinked, looking at Brian.

"Okay, look, some of the time... I was pretty proud of our work." Brian defended himself.

"Dude!" Joey started to snicker. "And here I was keeping secrets from my girlfriend for you!"

"Sorry, Joey." Brian winced. 

“Eh, I guess I have to forgive you.” Joey rolled his eyes, chuckling. “You’re my best friend.”

“Hey, what’s that?” Lauren asked, noticing a pink piece of paper sticking out of Curt’s rehearsal bag. Curt blushed profusely. That was the letter Owen had written to pick him up. he took it everywhere with him in case he panicked so that he could read it, remember those days and calm down. It helped. He’d meant to keep it hidden. 

“Oh... it’s nothing.” Curt lied. 

“It’s not nothing, is it?” Lauren smirked. She gave him a genuine look. “Is it personal?”

“Oh, it’s nothing too bad.” Owen chuckled. Curt blushed further, feeling Owen wrap his arms around his waist. When had he gotten there?”

“What’s going on over here?” Corey asked, joining them. It seemed they had formed a rather large clump. 

“I think Lauren might be about to read the first letter I ever wrote to Curtis.” Owen smirked triumphantly, clearly not embarrassed by that prospect. 

“Ooooo romantic!” Tessa teased Curt. When had she shown up? God, for a spy, Curt was not very observant. He took a brief look at his surroundings. Ah. Everyone was there. Fantastic. 

“Oh hell yeah I am!” Lauren smirked. She plucked the paper out of Curt’s bag. 

“Oh god...” Curt groaned. 

“You okay with this?” Corey checked with Curt. Curt nodded reluctantly. 

“I mean, as long as O is.” Curt sighed, relenting.

With that, Lauren used the rest of their break to overdramatically read out Owen’s letter. Curt was a blushing mess, and Owen was grinning like an idiot. Evidently he was proud of himself- as he should have been. It was a good letter. At least Curt and Owen now had an idea of who to look into: Brian Rosenthal. It was a bit odd to think that Brosenthal might be a Chimera operative. He was a funny, quirky... he didn’t seem ruthless enough. Maybe they were wrong. But this was literally all the intel they could get at the moment. Mind you, they needed concrete evidence before they could actually do anything, but... at least they had a lead. Even if it was a weird one. The thing about espionage was that leads were usually weird. So they... well, they managed to bug all of the writers’ houses a bit more to give HQ more to work with, but especially Brian’s. That way the minute they had solid evidence, they could act. Well... not the minute. More like within about twenty minutes. But same difference. There was nothing else they could do. 

________________________________________________

Nothing happened through the rest of the rehearsal process. Literally nothing. No one did anything suspicious. Honestly, Curt and Owen were starting to think that their superiors were wrong. They were performing their shows- with excellent reception, might they add. People were loving Curt. The real Curt Mega was getting huge acclaim on Curt’s behalf. And the fans... well they were going mad. It was looking like the show would be a huge success- which meant two things. One, Curt was going to have to do more theatre. Cleary he was good at it. Two, his life as a spy was about to get more... complicated. IT turned out these guys had a bit of a cult following because they had been involved with a theatre group called Team Starkid? Curt knew about them from his mission briefing, but honestly he’d never thought that they were that big of a deal. When he’d confessed that to Owen he’d gotten a long lecture. Apparently Owen was also a fan, and that was half of why he was so excited to be doing this show. But that was a topic for another time. 

It was about the third show in when they finally got the evidence they had been looking for. It... was not when they’d planned to find anything. Actually, it was at the least convenient time. Between acts. It was also in the least expected way. Curt had to get his props for the top of Act Two. Owen decided to go with him, mostly to make sure he wasn’t a total and utter child. Honestly, they just meant to get their props before places. They were the only ones in that area backstage- the stagehands were resetting the stage and helping with costume changes/ tech issues. Well, they thought they were the only ones backstage. They should have been. But it turns out that someone else had anticipated the lack of people, and was using that to his advantage. At first, all Curt and Owen could hear were murmurs- not distinguishable in the slightest. Bey both gave each other a look before pulling out their real guns (which they hid on their costumes just in case) and following the sound. And that was when they saw him. The culprit behind all of this: Bri- Corey Lubowich? They lowered their guns a bit, staying dead quiet. That wasn’t what they’d been expecting. {erhaps this was a false alarm. 

“I am in the middle of a- no, I get that my work with you is important! Believe me, I know!” Corey hissed. “I just... tonight is one of my shows! I’m going on as the Prince! I- well can it wait half an hour? I mean I’d prefer two hours, but if I have to whip out my laptop backstage, I- well I’m kinda insisting on- come on, you guys know my theatre is important to me!”

“Okay... so we were wrong...” Owen whispered. 

“We don’t know that...” Curt reasoned. “It could be his family.”

“Of course I’m loyal! When have I not done what you said? I have sacrificed so much for you!” Corey fumed quietly. “Chimera is my life now! Not theatre, not my family or friends. Chimera! Do you know how fucking weird that is for someone my age?! I’m too young for all this corporate shit! No! No, of course that’s not what I’m saying just- can I have my night? Come on, this is really important.”

“Okay, I take that back.” Curt blinked, stunned. He was just a bit too loud. Corey’s head snapped in their direction, and both men raised their guns. Corey’s eyes fumbled, and he pulled out a gun of his own, haphazardly aiming it at them. 

“Okay... shit, guys, I’m going to have to call you back... we’ve got a situation.” Corey muttered. His face fell and he rolled his eyes, unimpressed. “No, not a theatre situation. An us situation. I’ll fill you in- look, they have guns. Just- I really don’t have the time for this anymore- NOT MY JOB WITH YOU! This conversation! Jesus, I’ve got two guns pointed at me! Let me go! Okay, fine! Bye!”

“You...” Curt spat, glaring at Corey. 

“You guys finally figured it out...” Corey sighed, raising his gun fully at them. 

“You know who we are?” Curt blinked. 

“How?” Owen asked him coldly. 

“Chimera has eyes and ears everywhere.” Corey rolled his eyes. “Just like in the show. I knew you were coming, and I knew you were looking for me. I just didn’t think you’d actually find me.”

“Are you insulting our intelligence?” Owen scoffed. 

“No. I just thought I set up Brian pretty well.” Corey admitted. “It was pretty easy, too... all I had to do was point out to Joey that Brian wasn’t coming to as many of our hangouts as he used to. You trusted Joey. Joey relayed that to you. Threw you completely off my scent.”

“Yeah, aren’t you just the friend of the year.” Curt rolled his eyes. “You threw your bro under the bus.”

“You’re lucky we didn’t get a false tip-off and eliminate him.” Owen hummed in agreement. “You’ve no clue the kinds of things that could set our superiors off.”

“Well... It’s Brian. The chances of him doing anything sketchy are slim to none.” Corey reasoned. 

“Corey, I’m going to need you to put that gun down and put your hands behind your head.” Curt sighed. 

“Alright, guys, places!” Joey called out to them. Everyone was backstage- except, oddly, Lauren (who was usually pretty punctual on cues). Shit. Their timing was awful. “You can play with the... are those our prop guns?”

“No... those are too modern.” Brian furrowed his brows, approaching them to get a closer look. He blinked before stumbling back. “Holy shit, guys... are those real guns?”

“Yes, they are... and you’re going to need to stay back.” Curt told them levelly. “Lubowich, gun down, hands behind your head.”

“We outgun and outman you.” Owen reminded him. The fact that Corey was so reluctant was astounding. “And we have a license to kill if you don’t cooperate.”

“Okay, guys, what the fuck?!” Joey exclaimed. 

“Can we just... put the guns down and talk this out?” Tessa pleaded. 

“No... we can’t.” Curt shook his head. “My name is Agent Curt Mega, American Secret Service. My partner is Owen Carvour, MI6.”

“Our credentials...” Owen muttered, pulling them out with one hand and holding them out to Brian, who was closest. He hesitantly took them. Corey shot Owen while he wasn’t in peak position to shoot him. Curt shot Corey back with no hesitation. Neither shot was fatal, Corey’s hitting Owen in the arm and Curt’s hitting Corey in the shoulder. The impact was enough to make both men stumble back. Owen stayed on his feet, but Corey fell. Curt kept his gun trained on Corey. 

“Holy shit, they’re not lying...” Brian mumbled. 

“Okay, Corey... what the actual fuck, man?!” Joey fumed, definitely feeling a bit betrayed. 

“Corey... why are you fighting the secret service?” Mary Kate asked coolly, trying to be the level-headed one. 

“He works for Chimera.” Curt told them, knowing they might not get a clear response from Corey for a bit. 

“The assholes who wouldn’t fund us?” Brian groaned. Corey grunted in admittance. “Come on, man! This just keeps getting worse and worse!”

“Okay, guys, I’m here. Sorry I took so-” Lauren started, rushing out. She saw the scene playing out and blinked. “Holy fuck! What’s going on?!”

“They’re actual fucking spies, Lo.” Joey hissed. “All three of them.”

“Pretty sure Curt and Owen are the good guys.” Brian added in a whisper. 

“Oh yeah, Curt and Owen are definitely the good guys.” Tessa gulped. 

“Corey is an agent for Chimera.” Curt explained. 

“Please tell me this is an elaborate prank.” Lauren chuckled nervously. 

“No, Lo... this time it’s real.” Joey sighed. 

“Okay, but... Chimera’s just a huge global corporation, right?” Mary Kate reasoned. 

“Not really.” Corey croaked out. 

“They’re plotting world domination.” Owen grunted. 

“Corey...” Joey breathed. 

“World domination makes it sound bad.” Corey grimaced. “We more just want control over every world government... and then maybe to take all of them out and form one Chimera government.”

“That doesn’t make it sound any better.” Tessa winced. 

“Why?” Brian asked Corey, hurt. “Why are you doing this?”

“Honestly, I just needed a bit of extra money in college.” Corey muttered, trying and failing to find his footing. Clearly he wasn’t a field agent too often. 

“So you turned to espionage?!” Lauren scoffed incredulously. 

“Honestly I started as a delivery boy and then I found out some shit I should never have known...” Corey sighed. “It escalated really quickly.”

“God, this is a mess.” Joey groaned. 

“Curt, love, can you give our superiors a ring?” Owen prompted him. “I’ll deal with our former friend here.”

“On it.” Curt nodded, pulling out his phone. 

“So... do we stop the show?” Brian asked Owen as he pulled out a zip-tie- another essential item Owen always kept on him, even in costumes.

“Oh no... the A.S.S. is the epitome of discretion. Believe me, you’ll have no clue what’s going on. Just see if you can find a friend in the audience to go on for The Prince.” Owen told them, tying up Corey and forcing him onto his feet. “Owen will take him outside and... he should honestly be ready to go on after We Love The Prince.”

“Holy shit... okay...” Lauren sighed. 

“I’ll make an announcement that we’re having technical difficulties...” Joey planned. “Let’s, um... just take a moment to breathe and get back into the right headspace.”

“We’ll be back in a moment.” Curt told them as he and Owen took Corey outside. 

“Rot in hell, you asshole!” Brian called after him, sniffing. Was he... crying? You know what, it was completely fair. That was one hell of a betrayal. 

So Curt and Owen passed Corey onto their superiors, and Spies Are Forever was able to go on. They got Nick Lang to play The Prince, which only made the fans more excited. Curt and Owen were allowed the opportunity to finish their run with the show- which Curt was so, so grateful for. He loved theatre. he never thought he would, but he loved it. And Owen loved that he loved it. Spies are Forever was the first of many shows for Curt. He got into the habit, like Owen, of doing shows between missions. In fact, he actually got to make Owen a little jealous later on- he got into a Starkid show. Mind you, they knew who he was. Fully this time. They even supported him- helped him build a public backstory. The real Curt Mega’s wife even played wife to him publicly when she needed to. It was a new start in Curt’s life and one that he hadn’t even known he needed. Finally, everything seemed like it was okay.

[courier-sux]

number three (what do they sound like) for all your oc's!

this has also been in my ask box since november because i thought i could find voice claims for all my ocs, but as it turns out I have a really hard time finding a close match to how they all sound in my head. so here’s some descriptions and references for some of my main ocs! (and voice claims where I have them)

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

Ava: Sounds like the default female sole survivor voice in Fallout 4, Courtenay Taylor. She can sing, whistle, and roll her rs.

Athena: Sounds like Eliza Taylor as Clarke Griffin from The 100 (also a pretty good face claim). She can whistle.

August: Described here! I used Theo James as Four from Divergent as a reference though August’s voice is probably a bit lower.

Jace: Jace’s voice is soft, medium pitch, and has a very slight influence from Hispanic and cowboy (is cowboy an accent?) accents, usually only noticeable when he says certain words. He’s quite good at singing, with Alejandro Manzano and Darren Korb being pretty close voice claims (for singing at least). He can also whistle and roll his rs.

Jackal: Ironically, I have the hardest time nailing Jackal’s voice out of any of my characters even though they’re my most developed. It’s medium pitch, with a bit of a rasp and the same slight Hispanic and cowboy influence as Jace, but with more of an emphasis on cowboy and less on Hispanic. They can sing, whistle, and roll their rs.

Rome: Rome has a deep, husky voice that gets even huskier after she becomes a ghoul. She can roll her rs.

a (somewhat wordy) oc ask game

[meredithstanien]

me and my thoughts ab homecoming

feel free to ignore i'm just rambling about how much i love everyone in starkid (please dont reblog this haha)

- jaAIME thank you maam for your service

- is jeff blim wearing eyeliner? thank you king

- sometimes i understand why all of you are simping for white boy manion and show stopping number is one of them. hips!

- personally i will simp for mariah though i hope you dont mind

- LAUREN WALKER I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU THAT SHIRT

- IM SO HYPED FOR FIREBRINGER I'M GONNA LOSE IT

- i want bhol's shirt. honestly i would wear his whole outfit

- brb simping for meredith.... leather jacket.....

- also lauren that fit is beautiful

- rachael soglin i love you also she has such a wonderful voice

- TOGETHER!!!!! i love everyone looking at meredith and lauren Like That

- "we are womankind" *meredith thumbs up and :)

- lowkey wish we had more lauren walker during this

- okay. tto songs slap so hard and i'm also bopping

- wISSSCONSSIIIIIINNNN i love corey

- wait how have i not said anything about jeff's outfit yet??? i love the vest so much

- okay they kept the audience participation for tto in this and i love it so much

- MS LOPEZ THE BOOTS???

- SPEEDRUN thank you for letting rachael bless us, i thought they were just gonna do tto and naked in a lake and i was gonna be so sad

-i'm crying over jeff's bowlegged step in place

- i love this four person crew for ani, i was wondering what they were gonna do for this since it was a traditional musical

- why dont people simp for clark? look at this man he's so fine

- HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT CHRIS ALLEN ALSO PLAYED DUDER IN LITTLE WHITE LIE? i never made that made that connection because i only watched lwl once

- jim povolo makes an appearance i love xem

- the cheers during no one remembers achmed... me too.

- denise and meredith sharing a mic and having the time of their lives doing it brings me joy

- lowkey was stoked for a meredith-dylan duet for 1001 nights but britney and carlos gave us so much more than we deserved

- okay as a meredith stan i am very sad about the lack of a meredith solo in the twisted medley i will not lie to you guys

- the hmb lighting.... thank you to the lightning designer i will have to check the credits.... AND THE SOUND DESIGNER the echoes are so cool

- gotta say i am so happy about the variety of funky outfits onstage today

- ROGUES jaime kills that one part. yall know the part

- literally any part with denise singing makes me so happy i cant wait for starship

- the audience clapping made me so nervous at the end of super friends bc for a second it sounded like it was throwing off the orchestra and making them speed up without realizing

- craving some commissioner gordon right about now

- STARSHIP I'M GONNA PEE

- ms donovan knows what she's talking about, thank you denise's mom we are dreamers

- i love that theyre giving solos to people who didn't get them in other medleys because i needed this. starkid women are so talented

- i feel so bad for not knowing everyone's names. theyre so amazing and i cant even name them

- JUNIOR STARSHIP i simp for bhol specifically as junior

- BRANT COX THE BUG MAN I LOVE YOU i love starship and i love him, i wish he had been in more shows

- joey your cue!!!!

- where is the way i do? i pass away

- "please enjoy some songs from 'me and my- ...." goodbye brian

- mamd is highkey problematic but that doesnt stop ready to go from being a bop

- brian and meredith standing together 🥺

- i love brian and nick lang awkwardly asking if everyone is having fun

- nick is so wonderful i love him

- the strings sound SO cool with comin back to hogwarts i love cellos

- the screams over the glasses, i love this audience

- i love the audience singing along and saying the lines along with the music, i bet the energy in that theatre was fucking amazing

- joey and darren just going "whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa" over bonnie!

- ms. lopez... the BOOTS again. lauren lopez as draco malfoy does things to me

- DYLAN COMING FROM THE AUDIENCE that is my favorite gag

- the people in the audience as dylan is coming through look so excited

- HUFFLEPUFFS ARE PARTICULARLY GOOD FINDERS!!!!!!

- meredith dances like a cartoon character it's so cute i love her

- tbh the whole second act has me smiling constantly i dont have much to say bc it just makes me so happy

- IMAGINE BEING THAT SAX PLAYER thank you king

- not even gonna lie ive never been a huge fan of avps or avpsy but the energy here makes up for it

- darren where is your fit you are harry freakin potter all the other men here are showing you up, you are wearing a black t shirt

-[yeah at thsi point a bunch of my thoughts ab the second act got deleted bc tumblr sucks and didnt save this draft but whatever i loved it]

- i'm gonna cry, the way the orchestra the end of days of summer became a slow version of back to hogwarts

- this is so sad. this is so happy but so sad.

- darren this is the sweetest thing

- "enthusiastic, but sometimes questionable fan art" i'd like to formally apologize to starkid for whatever they may have seen.

- joey in the background making faces as darren talks about loving your friends

- yo i didnt expect to get so emo over this but them finishing out with back to hogwarts really did me in, plus everyone onstage wiping away tears

- ITS AN ENCORE THANK YOU BROSENTHAL AND SANGO

- what a stupidly wonderful way to finish this show

- joey carrying out walker and brosenthals jackets

- oh the classic disconnected and off timing theatre kid bow to end the show

- IM LOOKING AT THE CREDITS AND OFC THEY HAD COREY LUBOWICH, SARAH PETTY, JUNE SAITO, AND MARK SWIDERSKI DOING TECH WHO ELSE WOULD THEY POSSIBLY ASK TO DO IT?

[ungodlyobsessions]

Starkid Homecoming thoughts

I came back home from the final Starkid Homecoming show and I want to write my thoughts before I forget something (I started writing this at nearly 4 am and now it's 5 am, but I've waited until now to post it) I'm doing this on mobile and I don't know how to do a cut, so WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

People I met:

~ Darren Criss

~ Nick Lang

~ Jaime Lyn Beatty

~ Lauren Lopez

~ Corey Dorris

~ Jonathan Matteson

~ Jeff Blim

~ Dylan Saunders

~ Gabe Greenspan (not a Starkid but TCB is like SK's child)

People I greeted:

~ Corey Lubowich

~ Meredith Stepien

~ Brian Holden

~ Joey Richter

~ Jim Povolo

~ Nick Gage

~ Denise Donovan

~ Brian Rosenthal

~ Robert Manion

~ Lauren Walker

~ Britney Coleman

Moments:

~ I very briefly said hi to Corey Lubowich before the show, who seemed to be doing tech stuff, but nonetheless he gave a small wave back

~ I waved at Denise Donovan and Nick Gage when they walked through the lobby, who both waved back at me and everyone else

~ My friends, Natalie and Jose, and I all dressed up as TGWDLM characters (Emma Perkins, Hot Chocolate Boy, and Greenpeace Girl respectively) and we received many compliments and some photos for it!

~ I was able to snag a quick pic with Nick Lang during intermission, as well as Gabe Greenspan of TCB

~ I saw Clark Baxtresser onstage before the show started, and I think my heart actually melted

~ Robert Manion SLAYED Show Stopping Number and Working Boys, and yes, he did include his best quality: his wiggles

~ Tiffany Williams actually held up the sky during We Got Work to Do

~ When Joe Walker, as Ducker, freaked out about shadows, Joey Richter comforted him onstage

~ I touched Dylan Saunders' right arm as he walked through the aisle during the sustained note from Back to Hogwarts

~ Denise saw me make a heart with my hands (I was sitting in Orchestra Row C seat 14) and she returned one to me two separate times

~ I'm pretty sure Dylan pointed at me a few times during the performance

~ I think they changed all instances of "fuck" in No One Remembers Achmed to either "love" or "hug"? Or my ears were just being weird

~ Everyone clapped in time to Voldemort and everyone else's tapping in To Dance Again

~ I found myself singing along to songs I've never even heard before

~ Darren Criss made a beautiful speech at the end of the show, and I saw Jaime Lyn Beatty struggling not to cry

~ We met two wonderful people by the names Danika and Eden while we were waiting in line that we ended up talking and stagedooring with for a while

~ Nick Gage was the first person we saw after the show, who had stepped out back to smoke with friends

~ Darren was, in his own words, "exhausted" and "[had] no gas left [in him]," but he had promised to say hi to everyone that was back there, and he kept that promise

~ Darren recognized a Japanese woman who had flown in from Tokyo to see the show, to whom he greeted and spoke Japanese with, and she seemed ecstatic to the point where she began crying. It was a very adorable and beautiful moment to witness

~ I shook Darren's hand and told him my name, and he said it was nice to meet me

~ My dad said there was a large crowd in front of the theatre, and it turned out that some of the performers were leaving through the entrance (see below)

~ Jaime said she saw my Greenpeace Girl cosplay from the stage, and she asked if Mariah Rose Faith saw and I said I wasn't sure (I hope she did though!)

~ I also told Jaime that I'm the one who dree her as Dawn, and it made her very happy

~ When meeting Jonathan Matteson, I asked if he "[Had] a minute to talk about the planet" and he went "NO!" before jokingly pushing me away and walking off, then we took a picture

~ Joey didn't stop for pictures, but he told the small crowd I was in that he loved us, and when I blew kisses at him, he blew some back

~ Jeff Blim didn't really do anything in particular, he was just really sweet and I love him

~ I told Dylan that I love Twisted because of how Beautiful his voice is, and he seemed very appreciative of that

~ Corey Dorris was very kind when we asked to take a picture, and he said he hoped we had a good time

~ Lauren Lopez told me to get out of the street because she was worried I would get hit by a car, and she moved me out of the way so we could take a picture safely (I also heard her calling Brian Rosenthal "Bri," which was cute)

~ Robert was walking in front of the theatre when Natalie noticed him and called his name, to which he turned and bashfully said something along the lines of "Hi, I'm sorry everyone, I have a Lyft waiting, it's nice to meet all of you though!" (He was also wearing a bright yellow shirt, which is not a typical occurence)

Overall, this concert was 10,000,000/10, and I'm pretty sure I shredded my vocal cords from screaming and singing, but it was all worth it because I had so much fun and got to meet some incredible people. Everyone sounded perfect, even Meredith somehow, who has been sick for the past few days. I'm so grateful to have been a part of Starkid history, and this show will remain unforgettable in my mind. Happy 10niversary, Starkid!

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 6, Number 8

Angel Olsen

Now half a year in the pandemic, we’re starting to see the emergence of quarantine records, whether in the trove of reissues hastily assembled to stand in for new product or home recorded projects made with extremely close friends and family or albums that are conceived and written around the concept of isolation. Music isn’t real life, exactly, but it lives nearby. And in any case, it’s still music and can be good or bad whether it’s been unearthed from a forgotten box of tapes, recorded at home without collaboration or side people or technologically gerry-rigged so that distanced partners can work together. So, as long as you all are making music, we will continue to listen and find records that move us, as the world burns all around. This edition’s contributors included Patrick Masterson, Andrew Forell, Tim Clarke, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Jonathan Shaw, Justin Cober-Lake and Ray Garraty. Enjoy.

+ — #playboy (Deluxe Edition) (self-released)

#playboy (deluxe edition) by +

One of the most genuinely confounding records I’ve heard this year comes courtesy SEO-unfriendly artist + aka Plus Sign fka Emanuel James Vinson, a Chicago rapper, city planner and all-around community activist who spends his time helping with the city’s Let’s Build Garden City initiative when he’s not making music (which is frequent, by the way — take a look at the breadth of that Bandcamp discography). The concept with #playboy, originally released in April but deluxed in late May, is simple: Two kids find a music machine called #playboy in their basement and start tinkering with it. Its childlike whimsy is conveyed in the song titles (“Getting the Hang of It,” “Wake Up Jam (Waking Up)”) every bit as much as it is in the music, with occasionally grating indulgences, the odd earworm and a brief appearance by borderless internet hip-hop hero Lil B that makes perfect sense in context; the kindred spirit of that community-building cult auteur is strong here. You may wind up loving this record or you may wind up hating it, but I can promise you this: You’ll be thinking about it and the artist behind it long after it’s over.

Patrick Masterson

 Actress — Mad Voyage Mixtape (self-released)

I once suggested Darren Cunningham mucks about with his music because he can’t help himself. That was about six years ago on the occasion of his purported “final” album Untitled; with the benefit of hindsight, we can see he was (like so many others, to greater or lesser consequence) just pulling our leg with that PR. Hell, he’s released two albums worth of music in July alone: The first was the mid-month surprise LP 88, which follows in the vein of his acclaimed high period as an often brilliant, occasionally frustrating patchwork of submersible beats best played at high volume with a low end. The second came at the end of the month in an m4a file shared the old fashioned way on a forum via Mediafire link, nearly an hour and a half long, and per the man himself, “All SP-303, sketchbook beats, recorded this past week [the first week of July] straight to recorder or cassette.” It feels very much like a homespun Actress mixtape and is probably best thought of as livelier accompaniment to 88 but, even still, there’s no noticeable drop in quality — once Actress, always Actress. If headier lo-fi beat tapes are your beat, this will slot comfortably in line.

Patrick Masterson

  bdrmm - Bedroom (Sonic Cathedral)

Hull five-piece bdrmm play a satisfyingly crepuscular version of shoegaze on their debut album Bedroom. Ryan Smith, his brother Jordan on bass, guitarist Joe Vickers, Danny Hull on synths and drummer Luke Irvin combine the widescreen sound of Ride with a cloak of gothic post-punk. Like the late, lamented Girls Names, bdrmm find a sweet spot where atmosphere and dynamics either build to euphoric crescendos or bask in bleak funereal splendor. Bedroom seems deliberately sequenced from celebration to lament. “A Reason To Celebrate” evokes Ride at their most anthemic, the tripping staccato driven “Happy” summons the spirit of The Cure of Seventeen Seconds before the pace drops for the second half, the songs become quieter and darker as the band finds a more personal voice. “(The Silence)” is an ambient whispered wraith of a thing, “Forget The Credits” impressively mopey slowcore. bdrmm don’t always transcend their influences, but this debut is an atmospheric treat if your taste runs to the darker end of the musical buffet.

Andrew Forell  

 Circulatory System — Circulatory System (Elephant 6 Recording Co.)

Circulatory System by Circulatory System

Nearly 20 years after its initial release, the excellent eponymous debut album by Will Cullen Hart’s psychedelic chamber-pop band Circulatory System gets a long overdue vinyl reissue. While his previous project, the undeniably great Olivia Tremor Control, tended to lean more towards classic psych-pop’s traditional tropes — hard-panned drums, loads of disorientating tape effects, wonky harmonized vocals — Circulatory System taps into something utterly uncanny. Both Signal Morning (2009) and Mosaics Within Mosaics (2014) have their moments, but this is front-to-back brilliant, conjuring a sublime atmosphere of reflective estrangement. The music is a thick, grainy soup of shimmering instrumentation, from the eerie (“Joy,” “Now,” “Should a Cloud Replace a Compass?”) to the joyful (“Yesterday’s World,” “The Lovely Universe,” “Waves of Bark and Light”), but part of the album’s magic is the way everything flows into a seamless whole. As is vinyl’s tendency, the rhythm section really comes alive here, the fuzz bass and tom-heavy drum parts booming out, with plenty of vivid details in the mix swimming into view. A worthy reissue of an essential album.

Tim Clarke

 Cloud Factory — #1 (Howlin’ Banana)

Cloud Factory #1 by Cloud Factory

Cloud Factory, from Toulouse, France, overlays the serrated edges of garage pop with a serene dream-pop drift. It’s an appealing mix of hard and soft, like being pummeled to death by pillows or threatened gunpoint by a teddy bear. “Amnesia,” for instance, erupts in a vicious, sawed off, trouble-making bass line, then soars from there in untroubled female vocals. Later, “No Data,” punches hard with raw percussion, then lays on a liquid, lucid guitar line that encourages middle-distance staring. None of these songs really up the ante with memorable melodies, sharp words or that intangible R’NR energy that distinguishes great punk rock from the so so. Not loud, not soft, not great, not bad. Cloud Factory resides in the indeterminant middle.

Jennifer Kelly

 Entry — Detriment (Southern Lord)

Detriment by Entry

Nuthin fancy here, folks. Just eight songs — plus a flexing, fuzzing intro — of American hardcore punk. Entry has been grinding away for a few years now, and Detriment doesn’t advance much past the musical terrain the band marked off on the No Relief 7-inch (2016). That’s OK. The essential formula is time tested: d-beat rhythms, overdriven amps and Sara G.’s ferocious vocals delivering the necessary affect. That would be: pissed off, just this side of hopeless. Detriment sounds like what might happen if Poison Idea (c. 1988) stumbled into a seminar on Riot Grrrl; after everyone got tired of beating the living shit out of one another, they’d make some songs. “Selective Empathy” is pretty representative. Big riffs, a breakdown, and more than enough throaty yelling to let you know that you’re in some trouble. You might recognize the sound of Clayton Stevens’ guitar from his work with Touché Amoré — but maybe it’s better if you don’t. This isn’t music for mopery. Watch out for the spit, snot and blood, and flip the record.

Jonathan Shaw  

 Equiknoxx — VF Live: Equiknoxx (The Vinyl Factory)

There’s nothing like a little roots music to get you through the sweltering summer heat, and this early July mix by Gavin “Gavsborg” Blair (half of forward-thinking Kingston dancehall unit Equiknoxx) was a personal favorite of the past month for hitting that spot. The group tends to throw curveballs at the genres it tinkers with, and Blair’s mix highlights why they’re so good at it: The crates run deep. Spanning everything from legendary producer and DJ Prince Jazzbo to in-house music fresh out the box (e.g., “Did Not Make This For Jah_9” was released in late May), Blair sets the mood and educates you along the way. Like everything else these cats do (and that includes the NTS show — support your independent radio station!), it’s hard not to give the highest recommendation.

Patrick Masterson  

 Ezra Feinberg — Recumbent Speech (Related States)

Recumbent Speech by Ezra Feinberg

Knowing that Ezra Feinberg is a practicing psychoanalyst, it’s tempting to read meaning into the name of his second solo album. But be careful to think twice about the meaning you perceive and ask yourself, is it the product of Feinberg on the couch or your own projection? His choice to name one of the record’s six instrumentals (there are voices, but no words) “Letter To My Mind” certainly suggests that there’s an internal dialogue at work, but the music feels most like a layered deployment of good ideas than an exchange of intrapsychic forces. The synthesizers shimmer and cycle like something from a mid-1970s Cluster record, resting upon a pillow of vibraphone and electric piano tones, which in turn billow under the influence of undulating layers of drums. Feinberg’s guitar leads are bright and pithy, like something Pat Metheny might come up with if he knew he was going to have to pay a steep price for every note he played. Ah, but there I go, projecting an implication of adversary process where there may be none. Might it be that Feinberg, having spent a full work week immersed in the psychic conflicts of others, wants to lay back on the couch and exhale? If so, this album is an apt companion.

Bill Meyer  

 Honey Radar — Sing the Snow Away: The Chunklet Years (Chunklet)

Sing the Snow Away: The Chunklet Years by Honey Radar

Jason Henn of Honey Radar has a solid claim at being his generation’s Bob Pollard, a prolific, absurdist songwriter, who tosses off hooky melodies as if channeling them from the spirit world. His least polished material glints with melody hidden beneath banks of fuzz, whispery and fragile on records, but surprisingly muscular in his rocking live shows. This 28-song compilation assembles the singles, splits, EPs and bonus tracks Henn recorded for Chunklet between 2015 and the present; it would be a daunting amount of material except that it goes down like cotton candy, sweet, airy, colorful and gone before you know it. Like the Kinks, Henn has a way of making strident rock and roll hooks sound wistful and dreamy. In “Lilac Pharmacy,” guitar lines rip and buck and roar, but from a distance, hardly disrupting Henn’s placid murmur. “Medium Mary Todd” ratchets up the tension a bit, with a tangled snarl of lick and swagger, but the vocals edge towards quiet whimsy a la Sic Alps; a second version runs a bit hotter, rougher and more electric, while a third, recorded at WFMU, gives an inkling of the Honey Radar concert experience. A couple of fine covers — of the Fall’s early rant “Middle Class Revolt” and of the Monkees rarity “Wind-Up Man”— suggest the fine, loamy soil that Henn’s art grows out of, while alternate versions of half a dozen tracks hint at the various forms his ideas can take. It’s a wonderful overview of Honey Radar so far, though let’s hope it’s not a career retrospective. Henn has a bunch of records left to make yet if he wants to edge out Pollard.

Jennifer Kelly

 Iron Wigs — Your Birthday’s Cancelled (Mello Music Group)

Your Birthday's Cancelled by IRON WIGS

As an adjective, “goofy” had gotten a bad rep in hip hop. Anything that is unusual, inventive and not in line with “keeping it real” is immediately stigmatized as goofy, weird, nerdy and bad. Iron Wigs is goofy but hold the pejorative connotations. Chicago representatives Vic Spencer and Verbal Kent team up here with Sonnyjim from the UK to do some wild rhyming. They collaborated before, but Your Birthday’s Cancelled is a complete, fully fleshed project, masterfully executed from start to finish. Instead of the usual gun busting you get a fist in the ribs. Instead of drug slinging, a blunt to activate your rhymes. Each member of the group has a distinctive delivery which makes you to listen carefully for every verse, no skipping. It’s a relief to listen to rap artists who don’t pretend they’re out in the streets while they’re at home enjoying a favorite TV series. The standout track here is “Bally Animals & Rugbys” with Roc Marciano dropping by for a verse.

Ray Garraty  

 Levinson / Mahlmeister — Shores (Trouble In Mind)

Shores by levinson / mahlmeister

Jamie Levinson and Donny Mahlmeister’s Bandcamp page indicates that they’re based in Oak Park, a suburb of Chicago. This goes further towards explaining their association with Trouble in Mind Records, which is located in the same county, than their music, which brings to mind something much further north. The duo’s music is mostly electronic, with modular synthesizers setting the pulse and sweeping the pitch spectrum while lap steel guitar adds flourishes and a shruti box thickens the textures. The album is split into two, with each track — one is named “Ascend,” the other “Release” — taking up one side of a 50-minute cassette. The first side trundles steadily onwards, and the second seems to bask in a glow to that never totally fades. Since there’s no “Descend,” it’s easy to imagine this music sound tracking a drive into the Canadian north, the journey unspooling under a sky that never darkens, its progress towards Hudson Bay unhindered by other traffic or turns in the road. Perhaps that’s just one listener’s fantasy of easy social distancing and escape from the present’s grim digital glare into a retro-futurist, analog dream. But in dreams we’re free to fly without being seated next to some knucklehead with his mask over his eyes instead of his mouth, so dream on, dreamers. This tape is volume one of the Explorers Series, Trouble in Mind’s projected program of limited edition cassette releases.

Bill Meyer

 Klara Lewis — Ingrid (Editions Mego)

Klara Lewis’s latest recording shows a narrowing of focus. Previously she seemed to be trying ideas and methods on for size, investigating ambient electronics or hinting at pop melody without completely committing. Given the approach to music modeled by her father, Graham Lewis of Wire and Dome, she probably does not feel the need to do just one thing, and that’s a healthy angle if one wants to stay interested and flexible. But there’s also something to be said for really digging into an idea, and that’s what she has done here. Ingrid is a one-track, one-sided 12.” Burrowing further into one-ness, it is made from one looped cello phrase, which gets filtered and distorted on each pass. The effect suggests decay, but not so much the gradual transformation of a William Basinski piece as the pitiless abrasion of a woodworker going over a plank with sander. The combination of repetition and coarsening hits a spot closer to one that Tony Conrad might reach, and that’s an itch worth scratching.

Bill Meyer

Luis Lopes Humanization 4tet — Believe, Believe (Clean Feed)

The cruel economics of contemporary creative music-making favor an ensemble like Humanization 4tet. At a minimum, the filial Texan rhythm section of Stefan and Aaron Gonzalez (drums and bass respectively) and Lisbon-based duo of Rodrigo Amado (tenor saxophone) and Luís Lopes can each count on having the other half of a band on the other side of the Atlantic. But any project that’s on its fourth record in a dozen years has more going for it than the chance to save on plane tickets. For the Portuguese musicians, it’s an opportunity to feel an unabashedly high-energy force at their backs, as well as a chance to drink from a deep well of harmolodic blues. And for the Gonzalez brothers, it’s the reward of being the absolute right guys for the job; it has to be a gas to know that the heft they put into their swing is so deeply appreciated. While Lopes’ name remains up front, everyone contributes compositions, and everyone gives their all on every tune.

Bill Meyer  

 Joanna Mattrey — Veiled (Relative Pitch)

Veiled by Joanna Mattrey

This solo CD, which closely follows a collaborative cassette on Astral Spirits, is only the second recording with Joanna Mattrey’s name on the spine. But Mattrey is no newcomer. The New England Conservatory-trained violist has been playing straight and pop gigs for a while. If you caught Chance the Rapper on Saturday Night Live, Cuddle Magic with strings or a host of classical gigs around New York City, you’ve seen her. But if black dress and heels gigs pay her bills, improvised music nourishes her heart. And if sounds raw enough to scrape the roof of the world nourish yours, this album is new food. The premise of Veiled is finding veins of concealed beauty concealed, and that search impels Mattrey to tune her viola to sound like a horse-haired Tuvan fiddle, clamp objects to the strings and blast her signal through some satisfyingly filthy amplification. And whether it’s a slender tune or a complex texture, the reward is always there.

Bill Meyer

  Angel Olsen — “Whole New Mess” single (Jagjaguwar)

Everyone processes a breakup differently (though, to be fair, that’s probably less true now than ever). For Angel Olsen in 2018, it meant retreating to The Unknown, a century-old church in Anacortes, Washington, that Mount Eerie’s Phil Elverum and producer Nicholas Wilbur made into a recording studio. What ultimately came from those sessions was All Mirrors, but Whole New Mess is a chance to revisit that album (fully nine of these 11 songs are ones you’ve heard before; only the title-track and “Waving, Smiling” are new) in a more intimate framework — just Angel, a guitar, a mic and her reverberant heartache. The most cynical view to be taken here is that it’s a stopgap capitalizing on people’s vulnerability amid a pandemic quarantine, but it could also be a corrective for the bloat of All Mirrors, a record I listened to once and haven’t thought about since. Late Björkian excess doesn’t suit her nearly as well as the light touch delivered herein, and your interest will similarly hinge on how much Whole New Mess sounds like the old one.

Patrick Masterson   

 Ono — Red Summer (American Dreams)

Red Summer by ONO

Ono, the long-running noise-punk-poetry-protest project headed by P Michael Grego and travis, tackles the Red Summer of 1919, evoking the brutal race riots that erupted as soldiers returned from World War I. During that summer, conflicts raged from Chicago to the deep south, as white supremacists rioted against newly empowered returning Black veterans and an increased number of Black factory workers employed in America’s northern factories. Ono captures the violence—and its links to contemporary race-based conflicts—in an abstract and visionary style, with travis declaiming against an agitated froth of avant garde sound. “A Dream of Sodomy” lurches and rolls in funk-punk bravado, as travis declaims all the nightmarish scenarios that haunt his nocturnal hours, while “Coon” natters rhythmically across a fever-lit foundation of hand-drums, mosquito buzz and flute. “26 June 1919” wanders through a blasted, rioting landscape, sounds buzzing and pinging and roaring around travis’ fractured poetry. “White men, red men, Manchester town, send ‘em home, Oklahoma, send ‘em home, in a Black man house, send ‘em home, send ‘em home,” he chants, ominously, vertiginously. The center isn’t holding, for sure. The disc closes with the uneasy truce of “Sycamore Trees,” where steam blasts of synthesizer sound rush up and around travis’ vibrating, basso verses about meeting under the sycamore trees, a metaphor like the blues and gospel and nearly all Black music is full of metaphor about reuniting in a better place. Powerful.

Jennifer Kelly

 Julian Taylor — The Ridge (Howling Turtle, Inc.)

Singer-songwriter Julian Taylor does the little things well. That's not to say that he doesn't do the obvious things well, too, on his latest release The Ridge. His easy voice fits his songs, letting autobiography come with comfortable phrasing. As a writer, he tends toward the straightforward, avoiding extended metaphors or oblique references. The title track considers a particular form of life, and Taylor sticks to the tangible, singing about the stable, “Shovel manure, clean their beds, and prepare the feed for the day.” Taylor's songs make sense of the immediate world and relationships around him, but they avoid woolgathering. The album feels a bit removed from the current climate, but that's no complaint when Taylor's developed a welcoming place to visit. It isn't always easy here, but it's always companionable.

But back to those little things. Each song has carefully detailed orchestration and production. The record goes down easy whether tending toward James Taylor, Cat Stevens or something closer to country, and much of that easiness comes from the precise placement of every note. Burke Carroll's pedal steel, for instance, never exists for its own sake, but to serve the lyric that Taylor sings. The album contains enough space to feel like a rural Canadian ridge, with details drawn into to support Taylor's direct stories. The Ridge could easily go unnoticed (unobtrusiveness not being a highly rewarded trait), but its subtlety and care make it worth taking your boots off and sitting down for a minute.

Justin Cober-Lake  

 Various Artists — For a Better Tomorrow (Garden Portal)

For A Better Tomorrow by Various Artists

Compilation albums loom large in the American Primitive Guitar realm. Takoma, Tompkins Square and Locust all had larger ambitions than merely offering a sampling of wares, and to them, Garden Portal says, “hold my beer. I’ve got some collecting and playing to do.” For A Better Tomorrow started out as a Bernie Sanders fundraising endeavor. But when Bernie bailed and COVID-19 came on the scene, Garden Portal pivoted to support Athens Mutual Aid Network, an umbrella organization that coordinates aid to the underserved in this trying time. But in addition to good works, there’s some good work going on here. Not all of it is guitar-centric, but even the tracks that aren’t are close enough to the strings and heart template of the aforementioned parties to merit consideration under the same rubric. Joseph Allred’s been ultra-productive recently, so it’s actually helpful to be reminded of the spirit that infuses his playing by listening to it one track at a time. Rob Noyes’ “Diminished” takes the listener on a deep dive into the construction of sentiment and sound. And Will Csorba’s Pelt-like blast of fiddle drone, “Requiem for Ociel Guadalupe Martinez,” will put your hair up high enough to make that self-inflicted quarantine do a bit easier to execute.

Bill Meyer

  Various Artists — The Storehouse Presents (The Storehouse)

The Storehouse Presents by The Storehouse

The coronavirus pandemic put the brakes on many things. You doubtless have your own list of loss, but for the proprietors of The Storehouse, the catalog of things kissed goodbye directly corresponds to their endeavor’s inventory of reasons to be. Over the past few years, the Storehouse has invited audiences out to a West Michigan farmhouse to enjoy a potluck meal and a concert played by some musicians of note. If there had been no lockdown, listeners could have enjoyed the Sun Ra Arkestra last April. Instead, no one’s playing, and no one’s getting paid, so the Storehouse has compiled this set of live and exclusive studio tracks to sell on Bandcamp in order to benefit the musicians and the Music Maker Relief Foundation. The cause, is good, but so are the tunes. Want to hear Steve Gunn and William Tyler in sympathetic orbit? Or Joan Shelley pledging her love? Or the first hints of Mind Over Mirrors’ new direction? Step right this way, preferably on one of 2020’s first Fridays.

Bill Meyer

 Z-Ro — Rohammad Ali (1 Deep Entertainment / Empire)

On one of his previous tracks, Z-Ro admitted that he’s basically just writing the same song over and over again (that’s how meta he is now, writing songs on writing songs). While he exaggerated a bit, he was not that far from the truth. In the last half dozen years he’s been writing the same three or four songs in various combinations, reconfigurations and forms. Rohammad Ali follows the same template: haters hate him, but he’s OK and is counting his money. Multiply this by 17, and here is the album. Despite this self-cannibalizing (lots of poets did that), Z-Ro with every new album sounds fresh and far from tired. The self-repeats just fuel him. Rohammad Ali has only one rap guest, and it’s Shaquille O’Neal whose rap career didn’t jump off in the 1990s. A lack of guests only proves that Z-Ro can self-sustain without support from the outside. The only thing from the outside he needs is hate.

Ray Garraty

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: 43

43: Feud

Written by:  Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa Directed by:  Bradley Buecker

Overall Thoughts: While this is not exactly a bad episode (I mean, it’s in the top fifty for a reason), it’s also not as good as I remember it being. On my pre-watch ranking I had it ranked higher than a lot of episodes that made it into my top thirty. I think a big part of it is because the parts that are good are so good. Like, really good. But the rest of it is sort of meh, which sucks.

What I Like:

The Blaine/Sue feud was so bizarre but a stroke of pure genius. Jane Lynch and Darren Criss play off each other so fucking well. I’d love to watch a buddy comedy for the two of them where Jane Lynch is his mom or aunt or something and they go on a road trip together. They have amazing comedic chemistry.

“IT’S CEMENT.”

When Becky kisses Blaine and tells him she loves him and he just goes “Thank you?”

Blaine getting hit in the face with a thong. Thank you forever for that Glee.

Sam and Blaine being scheemy little schemers. I remember being so surprised at that scene when this episode first aired. It’s too bad they didn’t go anywhere with it.

The opening scene is comedy gold. Especially when Will compliments Ryder by pointing out that he’s literally Finn 2.0 and Finn loses his goddamn mind.

The scene at the end with Marley and Finn is so sweet. I will forever be happy that Marley was the one to encourage Finn to get a teaching degree. It means so much more to have the confidence of your student telling you “You would be good at this” than, say, your girlfriend, or your best bud/teacher.

I do think it was necessary for Santana to point out that Rachel has become too obsessed with the men in her life, but also that’s not really Rachel’s fault since the show continuously makes all of Rachel’s stories about whoever she is dating at the time.

That gay-ass scene of Santana dancing with all those girls. Good shit, man.

Okay, I do have issues with how the whole scene ended up playing out, but damn, that moment that Finn walks out of the bathroom in the hotel room and you see the way Brody’s life is flashing before his eyes is fantastic.

Tina being so supportive of Blaine.

When Sue is yelling at Tina and all Tina can say is “leave me alone” just totally not affected by it anymore. Fucking amazing.

“Gay Clark Kent from season one of Smallville”

Brody genuinely looks conflicted about what he’s doing as he’s doing it. It’s clear this is a job for him, and he isn’t just lying to Rachel about sleeping around for the hell of it (even though the whole thing reeks of male fantasy but still, at least he shows clear remorse).

“It doesn’t matter what you think, you don’t get to decide for me.” I think this is one of the strongest, most powerful lines ever spoken on Glee. Because she’s right, but it also shows the difficulty of it. Ryder thinking Unique is a boy doesn’t stop her from being a girl, but it still hurts. Her identity is being erased. And not only that, but we know (thanks to having seen it all play out) that she was the girl he was talking to online. Which means she was misgendering herself because she was so afraid that Ryder would be angry if he found out she was the one talking to him. Honestly, it creates such a messy web of transphobia and society-imposed-sexism (Unique thinks she has to be somebody she isn’t, and misgenders herself purposefully to gain the attention of a boy, which is so fucking sad), but it also makes for a powerful moment. Unique is Unique. And even if Ryder never accepted her and never told her he thinks she’s a girl, that wouldn’t change the fact that she is a girl. But it also doesn’t change how hard non-acceptance and ignorance is.

What I Don’t Like:

Going off my last point, I think they could have done so much more with the Ryder/Unique story. I mean, they dragged out that dumbass catfish story for so goddamn long, and then when it was actually starting to get interesting (with the reveal that Unique was catfish, and Ryder’s obviously conflicting feelings about her in “All or Nothing”) they dropped it. So we got all the boring, useless shit, and none of the good stuff. I would have loved to see Ryder give Unique a chance and hang out with her as Unique instead of Katie, and slowly come to realize that she’s still the girl he grew to love, even if she’s not the person he thought she was. I mean, he rejected the girl who was Katie’s picture for her, so clearly it wasn’t just about the looks. I would have really enjoyed watching these two slowly fall in love. Too bad all we got was the bullshit.

Becky slapping Blaine on the butt has always rubbed me the wrong way; but then again, all butt slapping rubs me the wrong way.

Will is such a fucking baby in this episode. I know we all make fun of him because his best friend is fucking nineteen, but seriously, when your nineteen-year-old best friend is more mature than you are, you’ve got a serious problem buddy.

Despite the iconic moment of Finn stepping out of the bathroom to surprise Brody, I really don’t appreciate the way the show portrayed Finn beating Brody up on behalf of Rachel as romantic. Rachel didn’t even know he was in New York. She didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t ask him to do that. Throughout this whole story, Santana has been trying to take Rachel’s agency away from her, and now Finn has joined the literal fight. I don’t know. I just didn’t like how that played out. (Seriously though, Finn stepping out of that bathroom – Iconic)

Sue acting as though Nicki Minaj standing up for herself makes her crazy.

The fact that all the girls paying for escorts are these hot young ladies. That’s such a male fantasy come to life “yeah, I’ll get tons of hot girls to pay me to have sex with them”, give me a fucking break.

It really upsets me that Glee shamed a character for sex work, which he states very clearly that he is doing so he can pay his tuition. He doesn’t have money. Oh, and then Finn destroys that hotel room and leaves Brody alone in it, which means that Brody is most likely the one who had to pay for all those damages. You know, Brody? The guy who needs that money for tuition? I hate how dirty they did Brody. They should have made it way more clear that what was wrong with what Brody was doing was that he was lying to Rachel about it, not that he was a sex worker. Glee didn’t really establish that line clearly enough.

I wish Santana’s talk about Rachel’s pregnancy scare being a wake-up call hadn’t just been about her trying to convince Rachel to break it off with Brody. I mean, if she had a pregnancy scare that means she and Brody may not have been using protection. Maybe she didn’t use protection with Finn, either. Is Brody using protection with the women he sleeps with? If they are in an open relationship THEY NEED TO BE USING PROTECTION. Ugh.

You can literally see Unique sitting in the library when Ryder is looking around trying to find Katie. They fucking showed us who Katie was from episode fucking one and still dragged it the fuck out.

Songs

How to Be a Heartbreaker: This is one of my favourite Marina and the Diamonds song, and honestly, I think Glee did a good job with it. I kind of wish it had been a Brody solo, since I think that would have made it more impactful, but I still think they did a good job.

The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up: This is a good one! Ryder and Unique’s voices go together really well, and they managed to decently split the song up into individual parts, while also making it clear this was a mash-up.

Cold Hearted: Amazing performance and choreography, but honestly I’m not a big fan of this song.

Bye Bye Bye/ I Want It That Way: This is my all time favourite mash-up that Glee ever did. I love it so fucking much. It works so well, and Finn and Will sound really good on it, and just… god, I love it so much. SO MUCH.

I Still Believe/Superbass: I think Blaine sounds awesome in this one, and Superbass is one of my favourite Nicki Minaj songs, but I don’t like the way they set this one up. Blaine sings his part, then Sue sings hers, then there’s a brief mash-up of the two at the end. I wish they’d done it more like “The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up” had been done.

Closer: I really like the original of this song, but this version is just okay. Ryder and Jake singing this one alone felt like a bit of an odd choice – I think I would have preferred it be a group number. It’s a nice performance, and at least they do more than just stand on stage and dance around, but I wouldn’t consider it one of their best.

Final Thoughts: It’s not the strongest in this clump of episodes, but it’s definitely better than most of season four. It has some really funny moments, and some really good, emotional moments, but it also has some stuff that’s like… eh… Overall a decent episode, and one that I don’t mind watching time and time again.

[storyboxlibrary]

200 Stories. WOW!

Did you know that when we launched in 2013 we started with just 20 stories?

It would have seemed unimaginable that 5 years later, we would have a library that has grown so vast with a list of outstanding authors, illustrators and storytellers.

Of course, it’s all due to the phenomenal team behind Story Box Library who work exceptionally hard to give our valued subscribers such a superb range of quality Australian children’s literature in such an engaging and accessible way.

Our stories and storytellers are first rate, and there truly is something on Story Box Library for everyone.

Whether it’s Ali McGregor reading Tashi and bowling you over with her beautiful singing, or Andrew Hansen’s reading of What’s Wrong with the Wobbegong. Andrew’s voices are absolutely hilarious – just how does he remember each voice for the numerous characters in the story?

Possibly Boori Monty Pryor’s reading of his and Jan Ormerod’s book, Shake a Leg made your heart swell? After all, Boori is a master storyteller and an exceptional human being.

And speaking of master storytellers, Danny Katz’s readings of his and Mitch Vane’s Little Lunch stories are a delight. No matter how many times you watch these, Danny continues to make you laugh out loud.

But which stories are the favourite of the Story Box Library team?

Asked to choose only one favourite proved to be an almost impossible task, or in the words of our Educational Consultant, Jackie Small:

“OMG! I don't think you've ever set a harder task. I'm really having trouble. I love so many for so many different reasons. I THINK I've narrowed it down to Bella's Bad Hair Day, I Got this Hat or My Dead Bunny. BUT I NEED MORE TIME! I'm going to take a walk and clear my head and hopefully then I'll have one favourite for you!”

In the end we came up with a very special list of stories that have touched each member of our team in some way. In fact, Mat wanted two. Well, everyone did, but Mat was the only one who assumed I would add his second choice and sent it through to me anyway. Cheeky!

Nicole – Director/Founder

The Bunyip of Berkley’s Creek Read by Nick Cave

As a child, I adored this book and still consider it one of the best Australian picture books of all time. My adolescent years saw me as brooding, gothic teen enamoured with Nick Cave. His music continues to be a part of my life, with one of his songs being played at my and my husbands wedding. Nick Cave was hands down my ultimate storyteller. So imagine the shock and delight I experienced when Nick agreed to read this book for us. Our library has many, many wonderful stories, but nothing quite beats this perfect pairing. And Nick kissed me on both cheeks. Winner! 

Mathew – Videographer

“Can I have 2?”

1. Rodney Loses it Read by Lyall Brooks

Sometimes we really nail the combination of the right book with the right reader. I love how Lyall brings all of Rodney’s craziness out. This was the first story we shot with Lyall and had no idea what we were going to get and about half way through I was just thinking, “OMG, OMG, OMG, this is great, this is great, this is great!”

2. The Queen with the Wobbly Bottom Read by Dolly Diamond

I’ve had so much fun shooting for Story Box library over the years and this shoot was absolutely hilarious, Dolly Diamond really brought the “Queen” to "The Queen” her voices are absolutely amazing. Her voice, especially for the Poet character is magical.

Del – School Liaison

Bear Make Den Read by Anne Edmonds

I love everything about this. From the simple and heart-warming story by Jane Godwin and Michael Wagner, to Anne Edmond's hilarious reading, costume and props, combined with Andrew Joyner's delightful illustrations, and the surprise bear party at the end, this story is truly divine.

Amy – Public Library Liaison

Home in the Rain Read by Zahra Newman

I love this story because it reminds me of driving in snowstorms when I was little. My dad always navigated his way through the fiercest of conditions with ease, making our family car seem like a haven of warmth, comfort and quiet togetherness despite what we witnessed outside. Zahra Newman’s reading of Home in the Rain takes me right back to those moments. Her voice is so peaceful and melodic, lending a contented feel to this sweet time between Francie and her mum.

Fiona – Production Manager

Mopoke Read by Tim Rogers

It goes without saying that Tim’s reading is absolutely hilarious and completely sublime (we were barely able to keep it together in the room while we were filming him!) but I also adore the simplicity of the book, as well as the brilliant way our videographer, Mat, edited it with the split screen. A first for Story Box Library!

Shannon – Videographer

The Brothers Quibble Read by Aaron Blabey

I just love this book and I always thought the way Aaron reads it is exactly the way he wrote it. You get to hear the characters come to life and his reading adds an extra layer to the book. From then on that's exactly how I read the book to my kids too.

Bronwen – Digital Manager

Hark, It's Me, Ruby Lee! Read by Isabella Clarke

Ruby was very high on our shortlist of baby names so we almost had our very own Ruby Lee! I love Ruby's imagination and sense of adventure, that she's eager to help out and try new things, and is a (mostly) great friend. Lisa Shanahan's story is great fun, Binny's beautiful illustrations and colour palette always catch my eye, and it's a lovely reading by storyteller Isabella Clarke.

Jo – Finance & Admin Manager

The Dark & the Ducklings Read by Darren Hanlon

Stephen Michael King and Glenda Millard are my favourite author/illustrator combination and I love this book. Lyrically written about a not so distant future, remembering the past, hope for the future and letting go. Watching the book being read, “sorry drops fell from my eyes” just like in the book. Darren’s reading is simple and warm, allowing the words to weave their magic. The story reminds us that there is always light in the dark.

Jen – Publisher Liaison

When The Wind Changed Read by Colin Lane

I have vivid memories of borrowing and re-borrowing this book from my primary school library, it is one of my all-time laugh out loud childhood picture book favourites. 

Seeing those familiar illustrations after all those years, while watching and listening to the story being told with such animation (those expressions!) by Colin Lane, I got totally swept up and felt like a kid again!

Jackie – Educational Consultant

I Got This Hat Read by Anne Edmonds

I just love the way we brought this short and sweet story to life on the digital screen with clever filming and editing, sound effects and an expressive storyteller (who’s such a good sport too). This story segment is also a fabulous model for extending stories through play with the use of a few simple props. I really think this story encapsulates Story Box Library perfectly.

[buynewsoul]

How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out

Oh no, my dog got out!” Not surprisingly, if a dog escapes his yard, he likely went through, over or under a fence. “The single most common way I have observed dogs escaping from a yard is when gates are left open or not positively closed,” says Stormi Weathers, professional landscaper and owner of The Garden Path in Garden Grove, California. Dog parents and even regular service workers are typically attentive, she adds. “However, that one moment of inattention can create a heartbreaking situation.”

The second most common method of escape is digging out — or digging in by a neighbor’s pet. “This is a tougher situation to handle because to prevent it you have to create an obstacle next to the fence, such as a concrete or block planter or bench, or put down a barrier below ground level, which could require some pretty serious trenching,” Stormi says.

Also, some dogs might be too smart for their own good. “Some even learn how to open gates,” says Pam Reid, vice president of the ASPCA Anti-Cruelty Behavior Team in New York. “Understanding your dog’s behavior and potential motivations to escape can help you make the necessary changes to your yard.”

Preventing dog escapes

TWO RULES OF THUMB: Use fencing no one can see through or reach through, and don’t confine your dog to the yard for long periods of time. Photography ©artisteyephoto | Getty Images.

To paraphrase an old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of heartache.” One of the most reliable forms of restriction is a fence. “Galvanized chain-link fencing is the regular old standby fence to enclose a yard,” Stormi says. “It’s sturdy and durable. If it is tall enough, it will pretty much contain any dog.” Negatives are you can see through it, and a child might be able to put her hand through it and get bit. Stormi adds that other fence options include wood, vinyl and composite materials. A wood fence might be best for dogs who are chewers because other materials might damage their mouths.

To increase a gate’s safety, Stormi recommends installing a self-closing and self-latching mechanism on all gates to your yard. She says the hardware is easy to find and install. You might want to install padlocks on the gates to prevent anyone from opening the gate when you aren’t around.

If you don’t have a fence and are interviewing contractors, Stormi says to ask if they have a dog. “If they are a dog lover, they will understand your concern. I would also ask them if they have any suggestions — never be closed to an innovative solution from any source!”

The great outdoors isn’t just the backyard. Many owners have an enclosed front porch so Fido can get fresh air. The enclosures can be as plain or elaborate as you like. “It depends on the style of your architecture and, of course, the size of your dog,” Stormi says. “Some materials we have used to create a cool-looking ‘pet atrium’ on a front porch or side yard are perforated or plasma-cut metals and decorative wire mesh. These let in air and light and can be a beautiful architectural feature.”

Remember to regularly reassess your fencing needs

Something like a new neighbor might cause your dog to start digging under the fence. Photography ©merobson1 | Getty Images.

Once you have a fence or other enclosure, your work isn’t done. “Performing a ‘perimeter patrol’ periodically will reveal any covert escape routes in progress,” Stormi says. “Pay particular attention if a new pet or family arrives next door.” These new neighbors might provide a new reason your dog starts to dig.

“Secure your yard to make sure there are no small openings, such as cracks in fences or loose boards near ground level, for your dog to escape through,” Pam adds.

There are also times of year when you have to be extra vigilant. “One in five pets escape when frightened by loud noises, such as fireworks or thunderstorms.” Pam says. “Make sure to keep your pet secured in the home during these events.”

A year-round prevention tip is to give your dog plenty of physical and mental stimulation, like toys and hidden treats. “A satisfied dog has no reason to want to leave the yard,” Pam says.

How to find a lost dog

How do you find a lost dog? Photography ©fergregory | Getty Images.

It’s not uncommon for a dog to get lost. According to the ASPCA, approximately 620,000 dogs who enter U.S. animal shelters are strays returned to their owners. Take these preventive measures to make sure this doesn’t happen to your dog:

Microchip your dog, and keep the information up to date. A microchip is an easy and permanent way to identify your dog. It also can legally prove the dog is yours.

“Make sure your dog always wears a collar with an ID tag,” Pam says. Include a local friend’s contact info, along with your own.

Teach the Recall cue. “A dog who has learned to come to the owner when called because rewards are forthcoming is less likely to want to leave the yard but, should that happen, the dog is easier to recover,” Pam says.

Download the Finding Rover lost dog app that uses facial recognition. Upload a photo of your dog’s face to the site now, just in case. If someone finds a dog, they can upload a photo to help find a match.

Attach a GPS pet tracker to your dog’s collar. Some even give an alert when your dog leaves a pre-determined area.

If your dog does escape, these tips can help your pup get home safe and sound:

The free ASPCA Pet Safety App has resources that include a personalized lost pet recovery kit and tools to make printed and digital posters. To expand social media coverage, see if your local city has its own website or Facebook page.

“If you can, leave the gate to your yard open,” Pam says. “Leave food, fresh water and a soft bed. An escapee will sometimes return back to the familiar yard, once the allure of running free wanes and the dog gets hungry or cold.”

“When searching for a dog, travel slowly and make frequent five-minute-long stops,” recommends Susan Bulanda, MAT, CABC, a certified animal behavior consultant in Westminster, Maryland. “Many people will drive around in a vehicle, calling to the dog. Unless the dog is within a few seconds of your location, he will not be able to find you if you move too quickly. They need time to determine the direction of the sound and then get to it.”

Call all local shelters and veterinarian offices. If your dog is picked up by a Good Samaritan, that person might take your dog to a shelter close to their home, which could be miles away. Extend your search a few cities beyond your closest shelter; call and visit daily.

If your dog has a doggie friend, take her on your searches. Have the dog bark to catch your dog’s attention, Pam says.

If all else fails, hire a trainer with a tracking dog, who might be able to follow your dog’s scent trail,” Pam recommends.

Being vigilant and taking protective measures keeps your dog at home where he belongs. And there’s no escaping the benefits of that kind of peace of mind.

Stories of lost dogs — found

ASTON—After escaping from his home and being gone for five days, Aston the Greyhound was recovered thanks to an unlikely combination — flyers, technology, pee and song. Aston escaped from his California home. He was a rescue from the Greyhound Adoption Center (GAC), which helped rescue him again. When Aston’s escape was posted on the GAC’s Facebook page, up to 40 people volunteered each day searching for him and distributing flyers. “Technology was the key to finding him in time,” says GAC founder Darren Rigg. “We kept updating the Aston sightings on our Facebook page and kept in touch with the volunteers via cell phone. Other animal rescue groups shared our Facebook posts.” GAC kennel manager Denine Hunt parked a van at one of those sightings and placed a crate nearby. Volunteers sprayed the area with dog urine collected at the kennel, hoping Aston would recognize the smell. He did and, thanks to Denine singing a song Aston was very familiar with during his year at GAC, Aston trotted up to her and was soon on his way home.

CHEVY—“My boyfriend, Kelly Gordon, had a black lab named Chevy, who escaped the yard several times. Occasionally the gate would not get closed all the way, and Chevy would use his nose to push it further open so he could escape and find adventure. Chevy was friendly and had tags, so luckily Kelly got a call every time. One time a woman came home to find Chevy swimming in her pool.” – Carrie Emmett

KOBE—“Kobe got out when I had him only two weeks. I decided to go door to door because I was convinced someone had him, and they did. I think they were trying to keep him. They never called my number on his tag. So glad I listened to my gut and went looking for him with my tears and all!” – Karen Clark

6 things to remember about having dogs outside

Dogs should never be confined to the yard for long amounts of time. There are many risks to this. Here are just a few:

A fence that is easy for dogs to exit is also easy for thieves to enter. A see-through fence particularly lets everyone know you’ve got a dog in the yard that isn’t being watched. Dogs do get stolen.

Overly curious children may try to pet your dog from the other side. This is especially risky if your dog is territorial or isn’t keen on new people. See-through fences are problematic, as children can reach in.

Foxes and coyotes are obvious predators, but even large hawks can and do lift small dogs.

If your dog is prone to barking, your neighbors may complain about a noise nuisance. You can be fined for this in many areas.

It can be a health risk for the dog. In some areas it is even illegal to leave a dog outside in extreme heat or cold.

Dogs confined to the yard are not being socialized and are at high risk for developing problem behaviors.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Chalabala | Getty Images.

Elizabeth Anderson Lopez is an award-winning writer based in Lake Forest, California. She and her husband have quite the menagerie, including a rescued English Bull Terrier named Maybelene.

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in Dogster magazine. Have you seen the new Dogster print magazine in stores? Or in the waiting room of your vet’s office? Subscribe now to get Dogster magazine delivered straight to you!

Read more tips on Dogster.com:

Dog-Friendly Hotels to Keep in Mind for Your Summer Vacation

The Pros Weigh in on Choosing the Right Dog Gear

The Best Flooring for Dogs — and How to Protect Your Floor From Damage

The post How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out appeared first on Dogster.

[jeffreyrwelch]

How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out

Oh no, my dog got out!” Not surprisingly, if a dog escapes his yard, he likely went through, over or under a fence. “The single most common way I have observed dogs escaping from a yard is when gates are left open or not positively closed,” says Stormi Weathers, professional landscaper and owner of The Garden Path in Garden Grove, California. Dog parents and even regular service workers are typically attentive, she adds. “However, that one moment of inattention can create a heartbreaking situation.”

The second most common method of escape is digging out — or digging in by a neighbor’s pet. “This is a tougher situation to handle because to prevent it you have to create an obstacle next to the fence, such as a concrete or block planter or bench, or put down a barrier below ground level, which could require some pretty serious trenching,” Stormi says.

Also, some dogs might be too smart for their own good. “Some even learn how to open gates,” says Pam Reid, vice president of the ASPCA Anti-Cruelty Behavior Team in New York. “Understanding your dog’s behavior and potential motivations to escape can help you make the necessary changes to your yard.”

Preventing dog escapes

TWO RULES OF THUMB: Use fencing no one can see through or reach through, and don’t confine your dog to the yard for long periods of time. Photography ©artisteyephoto | Getty Images.

To paraphrase an old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of heartache.” One of the most reliable forms of restriction is a fence. “Galvanized chain-link fencing is the regular old standby fence to enclose a yard,” Stormi says. “It’s sturdy and durable. If it is tall enough, it will pretty much contain any dog.” Negatives are you can see through it, and a child might be able to put her hand through it and get bit. Stormi adds that other fence options include wood, vinyl and composite materials. A wood fence might be best for dogs who are chewers because other materials might damage their mouths.

To increase a gate’s safety, Stormi recommends installing a self-closing and self-latching mechanism on all gates to your yard. She says the hardware is easy to find and install. You might want to install padlocks on the gates to prevent anyone from opening the gate when you aren’t around.

If you don’t have a fence and are interviewing contractors, Stormi says to ask if they have a dog. “If they are a dog lover, they will understand your concern. I would also ask them if they have any suggestions — never be closed to an innovative solution from any source!”

The great outdoors isn’t just the backyard. Many owners have an enclosed front porch so Fido can get fresh air. The enclosures can be as plain or elaborate as you like. “It depends on the style of your architecture and, of course, the size of your dog,” Stormi says. “Some materials we have used to create a cool-looking ‘pet atrium’ on a front porch or side yard are perforated or plasma-cut metals and decorative wire mesh. These let in air and light and can be a beautiful architectural feature.”

Remember to regularly reassess your fencing needs

Something like a new neighbor might cause your dog to start digging under the fence. Photography ©merobson1 | Getty Images.

Once you have a fence or other enclosure, your work isn’t done. “Performing a ‘perimeter patrol’ periodically will reveal any covert escape routes in progress,” Stormi says. “Pay particular attention if a new pet or family arrives next door.” These new neighbors might provide a new reason your dog starts to dig.

“Secure your yard to make sure there are no small openings, such as cracks in fences or loose boards near ground level, for your dog to escape through,” Pam adds.

There are also times of year when you have to be extra vigilant. “One in five pets escape when frightened by loud noises, such as fireworks or thunderstorms.” Pam says. “Make sure to keep your pet secured in the home during these events.”

A year-round prevention tip is to give your dog plenty of physical and mental stimulation, like toys and hidden treats. “A satisfied dog has no reason to want to leave the yard,” Pam says.

How to find a lost dog

How do you find a lost dog? Photography ©fergregory | Getty Images.

It’s not uncommon for a dog to get lost. According to the ASPCA, approximately 620,000 dogs who enter U.S. animal shelters are strays returned to their owners. Take these preventive measures to make sure this doesn’t happen to your dog:

Microchip your dog, and keep the information up to date. A microchip is an easy and permanent way to identify your dog. It also can legally prove the dog is yours.

“Make sure your dog always wears a collar with an ID tag,” Pam says. Include a local friend’s contact info, along with your own.

Teach the Recall cue. “A dog who has learned to come to the owner when called because rewards are forthcoming is less likely to want to leave the yard but, should that happen, the dog is easier to recover,” Pam says.

Download the Finding Rover lost dog app that uses facial recognition. Upload a photo of your dog’s face to the site now, just in case. If someone finds a dog, they can upload a photo to help find a match.

Attach a GPS pet tracker to your dog’s collar. Some even give an alert when your dog leaves a pre-determined area.

If your dog does escape, these tips can help your pup get home safe and sound:

The free ASPCA Pet Safety App has resources that include a personalized lost pet recovery kit and tools to make printed and digital posters. To expand social media coverage, see if your local city has its own website or Facebook page.

“If you can, leave the gate to your yard open,” Pam says. “Leave food, fresh water and a soft bed. An escapee will sometimes return back to the familiar yard, once the allure of running free wanes and the dog gets hungry or cold.”

“When searching for a dog, travel slowly and make frequent five-minute-long stops,” recommends Susan Bulanda, MAT, CABC, a certified animal behavior consultant in Westminster, Maryland. “Many people will drive around in a vehicle, calling to the dog. Unless the dog is within a few seconds of your location, he will not be able to find you if you move too quickly. They need time to determine the direction of the sound and then get to it.”

Call all local shelters and veterinarian offices. If your dog is picked up by a Good Samaritan, that person might take your dog to a shelter close to their home, which could be miles away. Extend your search a few cities beyond your closest shelter; call and visit daily.

If your dog has a doggie friend, take her on your searches. Have the dog bark to catch your dog’s attention, Pam says.

If all else fails, hire a trainer with a tracking dog, who might be able to follow your dog’s scent trail,” Pam recommends.

Being vigilant and taking protective measures keeps your dog at home where he belongs. And there’s no escaping the benefits of that kind of peace of mind.

Stories of lost dogs — found

ASTON—After escaping from his home and being gone for five days, Aston the Greyhound was recovered thanks to an unlikely combination — flyers, technology, pee and song. Aston escaped from his California home. He was a rescue from the Greyhound Adoption Center (GAC), which helped rescue him again. When Aston’s escape was posted on the GAC’s Facebook page, up to 40 people volunteered each day searching for him and distributing flyers. “Technology was the key to finding him in time,” says GAC founder Darren Rigg. “We kept updating the Aston sightings on our Facebook page and kept in touch with the volunteers via cell phone. Other animal rescue groups shared our Facebook posts.” GAC kennel manager Denine Hunt parked a van at one of those sightings and placed a crate nearby. Volunteers sprayed the area with dog urine collected at the kennel, hoping Aston would recognize the smell. He did and, thanks to Denine singing a song Aston was very familiar with during his year at GAC, Aston trotted up to her and was soon on his way home.

CHEVY—“My boyfriend, Kelly Gordon, had a black lab named Chevy, who escaped the yard several times. Occasionally the gate would not get closed all the way, and Chevy would use his nose to push it further open so he could escape and find adventure. Chevy was friendly and had tags, so luckily Kelly got a call every time. One time a woman came home to find Chevy swimming in her pool.” – Carrie Emmett

KOBE—“Kobe got out when I had him only two weeks. I decided to go door to door because I was convinced someone had him, and they did. I think they were trying to keep him. They never called my number on his tag. So glad I listened to my gut and went looking for him with my tears and all!” – Karen Clark

6 things to remember about having dogs outside

Dogs should never be confined to the yard for long amounts of time. There are many risks to this. Here are just a few:

A fence that is easy for dogs to exit is also easy for thieves to enter. A see-through fence particularly lets everyone know you’ve got a dog in the yard that isn’t being watched. Dogs do get stolen.

Overly curious children may try to pet your dog from the other side. This is especially risky if your dog is territorial or isn’t keen on new people. See-through fences are problematic, as children can reach in.

Foxes and coyotes are obvious predators, but even large hawks can and do lift small dogs.

If your dog is prone to barking, your neighbors may complain about a noise nuisance. You can be fined for this in many areas.

It can be a health risk for the dog. In some areas it is even illegal to leave a dog outside in extreme heat or cold.

Dogs confined to the yard are not being socialized and are at high risk for developing problem behaviors.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Chalabala | Getty Images.

Elizabeth Anderson Lopez is an award-winning writer based in Lake Forest, California. She and her husband have quite the menagerie, including a rescued English Bull Terrier named Maybelene.

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in Dogster magazine. Have you seen the new Dogster print magazine in stores? Or in the waiting room of your vet’s office? Subscribe now to get Dogster magazine delivered straight to you!

Read more tips on Dogster.com:

Dog-Friendly Hotels to Keep in Mind for Your Summer Vacation

The Pros Weigh in on Choosing the Right Dog Gear

The Best Flooring for Dogs — and How to Protect Your Floor From Damage

The post How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out appeared first on Dogster.

[stiles-wtf]

How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out

Oh no, my dog got out!” Not surprisingly, if a dog escapes his yard, he likely went through, over or under a fence. “The single most common way I have observed dogs escaping from a yard is when gates are left open or not positively closed,” says Stormi Weathers, professional landscaper and owner of The Garden Path in Garden Grove, California. Dog parents and even regular service workers are typically attentive, she adds. “However, that one moment of inattention can create a heartbreaking situation.”

The second most common method of escape is digging out — or digging in by a neighbor’s pet. “This is a tougher situation to handle because to prevent it you have to create an obstacle next to the fence, such as a concrete or block planter or bench, or put down a barrier below ground level, which could require some pretty serious trenching,” Stormi says.

Also, some dogs might be too smart for their own good. “Some even learn how to open gates,” says Pam Reid, vice president of the ASPCA Anti-Cruelty Behavior Team in New York. “Understanding your dog’s behavior and potential motivations to escape can help you make the necessary changes to your yard.”

Preventing dog escapes

TWO RULES OF THUMB: Use fencing no one can see through or reach through, and don’t confine your dog to the yard for long periods of time. Photography ©artisteyephoto | Getty Images.

To paraphrase an old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of heartache.” One of the most reliable forms of restriction is a fence. “Galvanized chain-link fencing is the regular old standby fence to enclose a yard,” Stormi says. “It’s sturdy and durable. If it is tall enough, it will pretty much contain any dog.” Negatives are you can see through it, and a child might be able to put her hand through it and get bit. Stormi adds that other fence options include wood, vinyl and composite materials. A wood fence might be best for dogs who are chewers because other materials might damage their mouths.

To increase a gate’s safety, Stormi recommends installing a self-closing and self-latching mechanism on all gates to your yard. She says the hardware is easy to find and install. You might want to install padlocks on the gates to prevent anyone from opening the gate when you aren’t around.

If you don’t have a fence and are interviewing contractors, Stormi says to ask if they have a dog. “If they are a dog lover, they will understand your concern. I would also ask them if they have any suggestions — never be closed to an innovative solution from any source!”

The great outdoors isn’t just the backyard. Many owners have an enclosed front porch so Fido can get fresh air. The enclosures can be as plain or elaborate as you like. “It depends on the style of your architecture and, of course, the size of your dog,” Stormi says. “Some materials we have used to create a cool-looking ‘pet atrium’ on a front porch or side yard are perforated or plasma-cut metals and decorative wire mesh. These let in air and light and can be a beautiful architectural feature.”

Remember to regularly reassess your fencing needs

Something like a new neighbor might cause your dog to start digging under the fence. Photography ©merobson1 | Getty Images.

Once you have a fence or other enclosure, your work isn’t done. “Performing a ‘perimeter patrol’ periodically will reveal any covert escape routes in progress,” Stormi says. “Pay particular attention if a new pet or family arrives next door.” These new neighbors might provide a new reason your dog starts to dig.

“Secure your yard to make sure there are no small openings, such as cracks in fences or loose boards near ground level, for your dog to escape through,” Pam adds.

There are also times of year when you have to be extra vigilant. “One in five pets escape when frightened by loud noises, such as fireworks or thunderstorms.” Pam says. “Make sure to keep your pet secured in the home during these events.”

A year-round prevention tip is to give your dog plenty of physical and mental stimulation, like toys and hidden treats. “A satisfied dog has no reason to want to leave the yard,” Pam says.

How to find a lost dog

How do you find a lost dog? Photography ©fergregory | Getty Images.

It’s not uncommon for a dog to get lost. According to the ASPCA, approximately 620,000 dogs who enter U.S. animal shelters are strays returned to their owners. Take these preventive measures to make sure this doesn’t happen to your dog:

Microchip your dog, and keep the information up to date. A microchip is an easy and permanent way to identify your dog. It also can legally prove the dog is yours.

“Make sure your dog always wears a collar with an ID tag,” Pam says. Include a local friend’s contact info, along with your own.

Teach the Recall cue. “A dog who has learned to come to the owner when called because rewards are forthcoming is less likely to want to leave the yard but, should that happen, the dog is easier to recover,” Pam says.

Download the Finding Rover lost dog app that uses facial recognition. Upload a photo of your dog’s face to the site now, just in case. If someone finds a dog, they can upload a photo to help find a match.

Attach a GPS pet tracker to your dog’s collar. Some even give an alert when your dog leaves a pre-determined area.

If your dog does escape, these tips can help your pup get home safe and sound:

The free ASPCA Pet Safety App has resources that include a personalized lost pet recovery kit and tools to make printed and digital posters. To expand social media coverage, see if your local city has its own website or Facebook page.

“If you can, leave the gate to your yard open,” Pam says. “Leave food, fresh water and a soft bed. An escapee will sometimes return back to the familiar yard, once the allure of running free wanes and the dog gets hungry or cold.”

“When searching for a dog, travel slowly and make frequent five-minute-long stops,” recommends Susan Bulanda, MAT, CABC, a certified animal behavior consultant in Westminster, Maryland. “Many people will drive around in a vehicle, calling to the dog. Unless the dog is within a few seconds of your location, he will not be able to find you if you move too quickly. They need time to determine the direction of the sound and then get to it.”

Call all local shelters and veterinarian offices. If your dog is picked up by a Good Samaritan, that person might take your dog to a shelter close to their home, which could be miles away. Extend your search a few cities beyond your closest shelter; call and visit daily.

If your dog has a doggie friend, take her on your searches. Have the dog bark to catch your dog’s attention, Pam says.

If all else fails, hire a trainer with a tracking dog, who might be able to follow your dog’s scent trail,” Pam recommends.

Being vigilant and taking protective measures keeps your dog at home where he belongs. And there’s no escaping the benefits of that kind of peace of mind.

Stories of lost dogs — found

ASTON—After escaping from his home and being gone for five days, Aston the Greyhound was recovered thanks to an unlikely combination — flyers, technology, pee and song. Aston escaped from his California home. He was a rescue from the Greyhound Adoption Center (GAC), which helped rescue him again. When Aston’s escape was posted on the GAC’s Facebook page, up to 40 people volunteered each day searching for him and distributing flyers. “Technology was the key to finding him in time,” says GAC founder Darren Rigg. “We kept updating the Aston sightings on our Facebook page and kept in touch with the volunteers via cell phone. Other animal rescue groups shared our Facebook posts.” GAC kennel manager Denine Hunt parked a van at one of those sightings and placed a crate nearby. Volunteers sprayed the area with dog urine collected at the kennel, hoping Aston would recognize the smell. He did and, thanks to Denine singing a song Aston was very familiar with during his year at GAC, Aston trotted up to her and was soon on his way home.

CHEVY—“My boyfriend, Kelly Gordon, had a black lab named Chevy, who escaped the yard several times. Occasionally the gate would not get closed all the way, and Chevy would use his nose to push it further open so he could escape and find adventure. Chevy was friendly and had tags, so luckily Kelly got a call every time. One time a woman came home to find Chevy swimming in her pool.” – Carrie Emmett

KOBE—“Kobe got out when I had him only two weeks. I decided to go door to door because I was convinced someone had him, and they did. I think they were trying to keep him. They never called my number on his tag. So glad I listened to my gut and went looking for him with my tears and all!” – Karen Clark

6 things to remember about having dogs outside

Dogs should never be confined to the yard for long amounts of time. There are many risks to this. Here are just a few:

A fence that is easy for dogs to exit is also easy for thieves to enter. A see-through fence particularly lets everyone know you’ve got a dog in the yard that isn’t being watched. Dogs do get stolen.

Overly curious children may try to pet your dog from the other side. This is especially risky if your dog is territorial or isn’t keen on new people. See-through fences are problematic, as children can reach in.

Foxes and coyotes are obvious predators, but even large hawks can and do lift small dogs.

If your dog is prone to barking, your neighbors may complain about a noise nuisance. You can be fined for this in many areas.

It can be a health risk for the dog. In some areas it is even illegal to leave a dog outside in extreme heat or cold.

Dogs confined to the yard are not being socialized and are at high risk for developing problem behaviors.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Chalabala | Getty Images.

Elizabeth Anderson Lopez is an award-winning writer based in Lake Forest, California. She and her husband have quite the menagerie, including a rescued English Bull Terrier named Maybelene.

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in Dogster magazine. Have you seen the new Dogster print magazine in stores? Or in the waiting room of your vet’s office? Subscribe now to get Dogster magazine delivered straight to you!

Read more tips on Dogster.com:

Dog-Friendly Hotels to Keep in Mind for Your Summer Vacation

The Pros Weigh in on Choosing the Right Dog Gear

The Best Flooring for Dogs — and How to Protect Your Floor From Damage

The post How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out appeared first on Dogster.

[daddyslittlejuliet]

How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out

Oh no, my dog got out!” Not surprisingly, if a dog escapes his yard, he likely went through, over or under a fence. “The single most common way I have observed dogs escaping from a yard is when gates are left open or not positively closed,” says Stormi Weathers, professional landscaper and owner of The Garden Path in Garden Grove, California. Dog parents and even regular service workers are typically attentive, she adds. “However, that one moment of inattention can create a heartbreaking situation.”

The second most common method of escape is digging out — or digging in by a neighbor’s pet. “This is a tougher situation to handle because to prevent it you have to create an obstacle next to the fence, such as a concrete or block planter or bench, or put down a barrier below ground level, which could require some pretty serious trenching,” Stormi says.

Also, some dogs might be too smart for their own good. “Some even learn how to open gates,” says Pam Reid, vice president of the ASPCA Anti-Cruelty Behavior Team in New York. “Understanding your dog’s behavior and potential motivations to escape can help you make the necessary changes to your yard.”

Preventing dog escapes

TWO RULES OF THUMB: Use fencing no one can see through or reach through, and don’t confine your dog to the yard for long periods of time. Photography ©artisteyephoto | Getty Images.

To paraphrase an old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of heartache.” One of the most reliable forms of restriction is a fence. “Galvanized chain-link fencing is the regular old standby fence to enclose a yard,” Stormi says. “It’s sturdy and durable. If it is tall enough, it will pretty much contain any dog.” Negatives are you can see through it, and a child might be able to put her hand through it and get bit. Stormi adds that other fence options include wood, vinyl and composite materials. A wood fence might be best for dogs who are chewers because other materials might damage their mouths.

To increase a gate’s safety, Stormi recommends installing a self-closing and self-latching mechanism on all gates to your yard. She says the hardware is easy to find and install. You might want to install padlocks on the gates to prevent anyone from opening the gate when you aren’t around.

If you don’t have a fence and are interviewing contractors, Stormi says to ask if they have a dog. “If they are a dog lover, they will understand your concern. I would also ask them if they have any suggestions — never be closed to an innovative solution from any source!”

The great outdoors isn’t just the backyard. Many owners have an enclosed front porch so Fido can get fresh air. The enclosures can be as plain or elaborate as you like. “It depends on the style of your architecture and, of course, the size of your dog,” Stormi says. “Some materials we have used to create a cool-looking ‘pet atrium’ on a front porch or side yard are perforated or plasma-cut metals and decorative wire mesh. These let in air and light and can be a beautiful architectural feature.”

Remember to regularly reassess your fencing needs

Something like a new neighbor might cause your dog to start digging under the fence. Photography ©merobson1 | Getty Images.

Once you have a fence or other enclosure, your work isn’t done. “Performing a ‘perimeter patrol’ periodically will reveal any covert escape routes in progress,” Stormi says. “Pay particular attention if a new pet or family arrives next door.” These new neighbors might provide a new reason your dog starts to dig.

“Secure your yard to make sure there are no small openings, such as cracks in fences or loose boards near ground level, for your dog to escape through,” Pam adds.

There are also times of year when you have to be extra vigilant. “One in five pets escape when frightened by loud noises, such as fireworks or thunderstorms.” Pam says. “Make sure to keep your pet secured in the home during these events.”

A year-round prevention tip is to give your dog plenty of physical and mental stimulation, like toys and hidden treats. “A satisfied dog has no reason to want to leave the yard,” Pam says.

How to find a lost dog

How do you find a lost dog? Photography ©fergregory | Getty Images.

It’s not uncommon for a dog to get lost. According to the ASPCA, approximately 620,000 dogs who enter U.S. animal shelters are strays returned to their owners. Take these preventive measures to make sure this doesn’t happen to your dog:

Microchip your dog, and keep the information up to date. A microchip is an easy and permanent way to identify your dog. It also can legally prove the dog is yours.

“Make sure your dog always wears a collar with an ID tag,” Pam says. Include a local friend’s contact info, along with your own.

Teach the Recall cue. “A dog who has learned to come to the owner when called because rewards are forthcoming is less likely to want to leave the yard but, should that happen, the dog is easier to recover,” Pam says.

Download the Finding Rover lost dog app that uses facial recognition. Upload a photo of your dog’s face to the site now, just in case. If someone finds a dog, they can upload a photo to help find a match.

Attach a GPS pet tracker to your dog’s collar. Some even give an alert when your dog leaves a pre-determined area.

If your dog does escape, these tips can help your pup get home safe and sound:

The free ASPCA Pet Safety App has resources that include a personalized lost pet recovery kit and tools to make printed and digital posters. To expand social media coverage, see if your local city has its own website or Facebook page.

“If you can, leave the gate to your yard open,” Pam says. “Leave food, fresh water and a soft bed. An escapee will sometimes return back to the familiar yard, once the allure of running free wanes and the dog gets hungry or cold.”

“When searching for a dog, travel slowly and make frequent five-minute-long stops,” recommends Susan Bulanda, MAT, CABC, a certified animal behavior consultant in Westminster, Maryland. “Many people will drive around in a vehicle, calling to the dog. Unless the dog is within a few seconds of your location, he will not be able to find you if you move too quickly. They need time to determine the direction of the sound and then get to it.”

Call all local shelters and veterinarian offices. If your dog is picked up by a Good Samaritan, that person might take your dog to a shelter close to their home, which could be miles away. Extend your search a few cities beyond your closest shelter; call and visit daily.

If your dog has a doggie friend, take her on your searches. Have the dog bark to catch your dog’s attention, Pam says.

If all else fails, hire a trainer with a tracking dog, who might be able to follow your dog’s scent trail,” Pam recommends.

Being vigilant and taking protective measures keeps your dog at home where he belongs. And there’s no escaping the benefits of that kind of peace of mind.

Stories of lost dogs — found

ASTON—After escaping from his home and being gone for five days, Aston the Greyhound was recovered thanks to an unlikely combination — flyers, technology, pee and song. Aston escaped from his California home. He was a rescue from the Greyhound Adoption Center (GAC), which helped rescue him again. When Aston’s escape was posted on the GAC’s Facebook page, up to 40 people volunteered each day searching for him and distributing flyers. “Technology was the key to finding him in time,” says GAC founder Darren Rigg. “We kept updating the Aston sightings on our Facebook page and kept in touch with the volunteers via cell phone. Other animal rescue groups shared our Facebook posts.” GAC kennel manager Denine Hunt parked a van at one of those sightings and placed a crate nearby. Volunteers sprayed the area with dog urine collected at the kennel, hoping Aston would recognize the smell. He did and, thanks to Denine singing a song Aston was very familiar with during his year at GAC, Aston trotted up to her and was soon on his way home.

CHEVY—“My boyfriend, Kelly Gordon, had a black lab named Chevy, who escaped the yard several times. Occasionally the gate would not get closed all the way, and Chevy would use his nose to push it further open so he could escape and find adventure. Chevy was friendly and had tags, so luckily Kelly got a call every time. One time a woman came home to find Chevy swimming in her pool.” – Carrie Emmett

KOBE—“Kobe got out when I had him only two weeks. I decided to go door to door because I was convinced someone had him, and they did. I think they were trying to keep him. They never called my number on his tag. So glad I listened to my gut and went looking for him with my tears and all!” – Karen Clark

6 things to remember about having dogs outside

Dogs should never be confined to the yard for long amounts of time. There are many risks to this. Here are just a few:

A fence that is easy for dogs to exit is also easy for thieves to enter. A see-through fence particularly lets everyone know you’ve got a dog in the yard that isn’t being watched. Dogs do get stolen.

Overly curious children may try to pet your dog from the other side. This is especially risky if your dog is territorial or isn’t keen on new people. See-through fences are problematic, as children can reach in.

Foxes and coyotes are obvious predators, but even large hawks can and do lift small dogs.

If your dog is prone to barking, your neighbors may complain about a noise nuisance. You can be fined for this in many areas.

It can be a health risk for the dog. In some areas it is even illegal to leave a dog outside in extreme heat or cold.

Dogs confined to the yard are not being socialized and are at high risk for developing problem behaviors.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Chalabala | Getty Images.

Elizabeth Anderson Lopez is an award-winning writer based in Lake Forest, California. She and her husband have quite the menagerie, including a rescued English Bull Terrier named Maybelene.

Editor’s note: This article first appeared in Dogster magazine. Have you seen the new Dogster print magazine in stores? Or in the waiting room of your vet’s office? Subscribe now to get Dogster magazine delivered straight to you!

Read more tips on Dogster.com:

Dog-Friendly Hotels to Keep in Mind for Your Summer Vacation

The Pros Weigh in on Choosing the Right Dog Gear

The Best Flooring for Dogs — and How to Protect Your Floor From Damage

The post How to Prevent Dog Escapes — and Find a Lost Dog If He Does Get Out appeared first on Dogster.