if anyone wants to know what kind of day mr. Hugo had today, it got to be So So Very About Him. let me take you through it
- went to the lake first thing in the morning, got wet and ran around full-tilt and got tired
- in the evening, came along with us to a christmas lights festival thing at the park. got to walk around and have fun, was petted by ~30 people
- at some points, he was surrounded by a closed Circle of very small children patting him and saying he's nice.
- received whippy cream at a coffee place drive through
- got to walk around petsmart and do Dog Browsing there
- got admired by two of the girls working the checkout bc they enjoyed his Sit Pretty so much
- MET A POMERANIAN PUPPY AT THE STORE. (this is more important to me than him) touched noses with VERY SMALL pomeranian puppy. oh my fucking god.
- got greeted at another drive thru (I got popeyes. only god can judge me) and got given, because they aren't pre-loaded with treats for drive through dogs, a girl gave him (after asking) (he can take it) (he was really locking eyes with her) An Entire Chicken Tender. Hugo's relationship with drive-through windows gets progressively more and more Expectant.
anyway. very full day for mr. Hugo. We also got a couple pics of him doing paws / sit pretty / high five-ing in front of the lights. here are those!
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alec's specific brand of trauma is Really Something because it's like. having a father who only interacted with him to scare the piss out of him for any perceived slight and/or with the explicit intent of psychologically breaking him: pretty bad. being groomed into hypersexuality & child prostituted: also pretty bad for his mental wellbeing. but being forced to torture and/or murder people, being coerced into a state where he's capable of unflinchingly raping people before he's thirteen--being groomed into becoming his father--is like. a Very Specific Level Of Issue. systematic stripping of not only physical and sexual autonomy but ethical autonomy, being turned into nothing but an extension of the violence enacted by the person he hates most. full ownership over his body and mind.
like, when you're 12 and shooting someone because daddy said if you don't he's going to shoot you, you do the action first, you alter your mind to be Okay With It afterwards--because if you're not okay with it you're going to break--and then there's nothing of you left because it's all been taken away or changed so you could survive. just sort of utter nothing-matters nihilism by age 13 because he wasn't allowed to have anything for himself, not even the most basic moral compass, not even the ability to walk away and tell anyone about what happened to him without being seen as rotten himself, an abuser first and a victim second. no one will ever talk about what happened to alec without the caveat of "but." the caveat of "he was just a kid, but he still..." he doesn't get to show himself to anyone without the awareness that he's going to be seen as some form of fundamentally bad just by virtue of being a vasil, of having done the things that vasils do.
literally no wonder one of the only times he's ever even remotely visibly upset by something is when taylor--literally one of the only people he has in life, part of the closest thing he has to a family--insinuates he might want to turn out like his father, when the most core aspect of his trauma is not what was done to him but what he was turned into. if there's one thing that can upset him, it's the idea that he's still seen as that 13yo kid who was more of heartbreaker's weapon than he was a person, or that he's seen as wanting to be that way. he spends the first 13 years of his life having any attempt at establishing any form of his own identity razed down before it can even begin--as of story start, he's had all of 2 1/2 years to become his own person, because everything before that belonged solely to his father. so he is sort of ridiculously well-adjusted given the circumstances. but awful by any other metric--and there's the caveat, of course, the But, because the ability to make decisions that don't result in people saying But was very intentionally taken from him.
and when he does finally find something (someone) to care about, when he reclaims the ability to have his own strong emotions and desires and moral compass, he cares about it so much he dies for it. he's been waiting his entire life to have something he's allowed to care about and when he finally gets it, when he finally has that autonomy, he chooses to do the most unselfish possible thing with it. it's a single moment of refutation against everything he was molded to be--everything he still doesn't know how not to be, sometimes--where he realizes that, fuck it, he just wants to do something good for what he cares about. wants it more than he wants anything else on the planet, more than a million dollars or any amount of fame. he's finally in control of his body and his mind and his feelings, after 13 years of being a marionette and 2 years of slowly learning how to cut off the strings, and he decides that what he wants, now that what he wants actually matters, is to give all of himself to doing something good because he cares. in the end, he finally got to define himself by what he wanted to be instead of what he was made to be, and what he wanted to be was a good friend.
it's a good character arc okay. i like it.
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As I said I would, I drew my oc with yours my beloved @clawdouobit
My pretty girl likes to infodump your pretty girl about the smallest things. She's like a reel, talks a lot but most of it is meaningless.
Close ups and more info because I can't shut up ehtier under the cut <3
20 years old and engaged to a half-foot. They're waiting to gain some more money to get married and leave the dungeon. Note: they're best friends but idk if what they have going on is truly romantic love or just a very good friendship.
Quite skilled at upper levels, but wouldn't go to lesser levels. She isn't skilled enough to make her party survive there.
Her race is a mix between gnome and half-foot. Idk if that's possible but I don't think it's not.
If I had to guess, she's 13/14 on half-foot standars. It's unclear whether she's an adult or not, but she's preety mature most of the time. Most.
Flushed cheeks always. Also very pale.
She's 109 cms tall, a lot more than avarage on haflings, but lot less than avarage on gnomes. Since she hangs out mostly with haflings, she's a giant woman. This gives her some problems with traps so her BMI is 18 due to diet.
Fwens with Shahad. Who knows why tho. We gotta figure that out ;}
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In a world where Marco didn't die yet still everyone but Annie joined the Survey Corps, Jean wouldn't notice when his feelings for Mikasa has faded and the ones for Marco began to bloom.
Not until they see the ocean for the first time. When Marco comes to him all excited, yelling 'Jean! Jean, look what I found!' before showing him a shell. But Jean's not paying attention to it, but to the way Marco's eyes were shining with excitement and happiness. Of how happy his best friend was, for the first time since a very long time. And Jean would think 'I wish he would smile more. It looks good on him'. Then he would think 'I wish I was the reason why he was smiling'.
Then Marco would take hold of his hand and put the shell in it before saying 'You should have it. The color brings out your eyes!' and that, that exact moment, would be the moment when Jean realizes that he has long stopped having romantic feelings for Mikasa. That all he wants is to be by Marco's side, only the two of them.
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