#and I pushed through it but I started only skimming the smut scenes bc it made me uncomfy despite otherwise being a well written fic

[hopelesshawks]

Nothing like reading a fic on ao3 and suddenly getting heavy sadomasochist and impact play in almost all of the smut scenes even though the smut tags were only “dom/sub”, “soft dom [insert character]”, and “sub [insert character]” to make me appreciate how well tagged/warned shit on tumblr is

[snarkwrites]

wakeup | greg sanders | csi vegas | mature.

Notes:

Okay, so... This fits into the same universe as the fic I’m currently writing ( trouble ) but.. You do not have to read it for it to make a lot of sense? I mean it’s basically just wake up sex...

Listen, I needed to write this. I had to get it out. I had to.

Prompts Used:

None, actually. This is just a random scene that came to mind.

Other Parts

( ONE ) - ONLY LINKING TO THE FIRST CHAPTER BC i THINK I LINKED TO THE OTHER PARTS THROUGHOUT.

Warnings:

Uhh. This content is not meant for minors. Absolutely not meant for minors. So if you’re under 18+ click away now. If you don’t like smut, you’re not going to like this. Facts. If you continue to read, despite knowing all of this ahead of time, this is now your problem. I warned you right here in black and white.

If you’re sticking around, first of all yayyyy!, second, these are some things you need to look out for or be aware of: unprotected sex / body fluids, biting/sucking. that’s pretty much it.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave​ 

@twistnet​ 

                                                WAKEUP,

Sunlight filtered in through the blinds covering his bedroom window. For a few seconds, Greg leaned in the doorway to the room, dragging thick digits through spiky hair, just watching her sleep. The blanket was barely covering her body and when she rolled over onto her side, cuddling herself against his pillow with an arm over it, the blanket slipped to the floor as it gave up the fight. The blanket’s absence revealed crimson colored cotton and Greg had to work to swallow the lump in his throat as it built.

,, I am… The very definition of a lucky bastard.” the thought came just as he started to really strain against his jeans. He bent, pulling off his Vans and leaving them by the bedroom door. He pulled off his socks next. Then he took off his jeans letting them settle on the floor seconds later and then tugging the olive green long sleeve shirt over his head, letting that settle next to his jeans.

A lime green wire was barely visible through the wild mess of dark brown hair and Greg could hear their song playing quietly. She’d fallen asleep listening to music or true crime podcasts again and it had him chuckling as he carefully moved his pillow from beneath her arm and slipped into bed next to her.

He slipped the earbud out of her ear and felt around until he located her cell phone, slipping it out from beneath her pillow and putting it on charge on his nightstand because if he didn’t, it’d be dead later.

She wasn’t ever really good at remembering to keep her cell phone accurately charged. It slipped her mind often. If she wasn’t forgetting to charge it, she was forgetting where she had it last.

As she seemed to realize that he was home from his shift at the lab, she curled into him, her arm and leg slipping over him as she did so. Greg’s hand raised, caressing her cheek and pushing the black velvet eye mask she wore to keep the light out of her eyes up and out of the way. Her body molded against his completely. Her mouth pressed lazily against his as she yawned out “You’re finally home. I can actually sleep.”

Her words had him chuckling. His tongue dragged slow over the outline of plump lips before slipping between them. She rocked into him just a little and his arm slipped over her, hand settling on her ass, gripping. A quiet whine escaped her lips, lingering in the small space between their mouths. He felt the shiver pass through her body as he gave her ass another squeeze, rocking her into him all over again. 

“I thought that’s what you were doing, babe.” he muttered into a deepening kiss  in between the soft sounds of their mouths meeting. She took his face in her hands, deepening the kiss even more. The kiss broke and they pulled apart to breathe. Her hands were all over him now, trailing over his chest, making him growl quietly as he settled on top of her, leaning down. Hands ghosting over her sides and slipping beneath the hem of his t-shirt, that she’d been sleeping in. Working it up over her head slowly. Her hand dipped down, a delicate fingertip dragging ever so slowly across his abdomen, just above the waistband of his boxers, making him groan quietly.

“I was trying to. Now I can actually do it.” Belle answered sleepily, pulling him down on top of her completely. Whimpering when she felt him hard enough to break, straining through his boxers. Greg thrust himself against her, his hands skimming over her sides again, hanging on her curves as he gazed into big and bright but sleepy brown eyes and promptly started to get lost.

Just like always.

He was an addict and she was his shot of dopamine. And so much more.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Belle asked, biting down on her lower lip as she gazed up at him. Greg chuckled, shaking his head. Trailing a finger over those kiss swollen lips of hers and making her give a quiet whimper and promptly pout, accusing him of being a tease before he finally got to answer, “Nothin, babe. Just can’t stop thinking about how sexy you are. How lucky I am that I get to come home to you.” he bucked himself into her and she met the motion, her arms slipping around his neck. Fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck as she smiled and gave him a deep kiss.

Filled with longing. Her hands all over him because she just couldn’t keep them off or still for very long.

“I’m telling you, I’m the lucky one, Greg.” her legs raised, bent at the knee and one of them resting on either side of his body. In the softest and most teasing tone he’d ever heard, she muttered against his mouth as she licked at the outline of it when the kiss broke again at last, “Wanna put me back to sleep, baby?”

“Mhm. Very much so.” Greg’s voice was husky and warm against her skin as his mouth moved down the front of her throat slowly. Stopping to nip and lick, making her come alive beneath him. Her legs squeezing his sides as she rubbed against him more. Desperate for friction. Desperate to feel skin on skin completely. With an impatient whine, she reached down between them, tugging at the thick band of his boxers, gazing up at him with a begging look that had him caving in a split second.

He tugged her panties down, tossing them out of the way and then he pulled away from her and she rose to sit, tugging at his boxers, letting them pool at his feet. He kicked them free and he was settling back on top of her, pushing her back against the mattress all over again as his hands caressed her face and his mouth buried in her mouth all over again, deeply. 

His hands wandered then settled on her hips and he sank into her slowly, burying inch for inch inside. Gazing deep into her eyes as the kiss broke. Slow deep drives so that she could feel every single inch as it buried inside her. The soft creak of their bed made them laugh a little, especially when it started to get louder.. Faster. She clung to his body and nipped at his neck, marking it up, making him groan and grip her body tighter, really starting to slam into her. His forehead settled against her forehead.

All he could do was stare down at her. Mesmerized by every little move her body made pinned beneath his. He bit down on his lip, a quiet groan escaping and hanging in the air between the two.

She was staring right back at him, her hips perfectly meeting his with each deep and drawn out drive deep into her body. When he bottomed out, her head fell back and her eyes fluttered open and shut as she moaned his name. Her legs wrapped around his hips, drawing him in deeper still, her heels digging into his backside as he pumped in and out of her, the sound of skin against skin and the slow and steady creak of the bed competing with the sound of her whimpers and cries of pleasure and his moans. 

He felt her tensing, starting to shake a little and he slowed. Peppering hot little kisses against her face, lips and neck. Touching her all over. Her nails scraped at his bare back and his fingers dug into her hips as he tried to work himself back from the edge.

“You’re fucking amazing.”

“So are you.” she met his lips in a slow but fiery kiss, her teeth tugging at his bottom lip just slightly, the pressure making his lips ache and he knew that hours from now, he’d still feel that ache and he’d smile to himself about it when he thought about why his lips were aching and his back was scratched… why there were love bites littering his neck, throat and chest.

And he’d remember every single handprint, love bite and mark he left behind on her as well.

“Baby, please.” she whimpered when he started to fuck into her all over again, slower. Deeper. Touching her everywhere he could get his hands. “Please what?” Greg asked, a teasing chuckle against her skin as his mouth roamed down the side of her neck, marking it up even more.

“Faster. Harder.” her legs grip on his hips tightened and he grunted as the way she angled her hips had him hitting right against a spot that felt so fucking good he didn’t want to stop and almost couldn’t. He barely managed to keep himself from obliging her, speeding up as she was begging for, but he managed to slow down, shaking his head.

“Uh uh.” he teased, rolling his tongue over the outline of kiss swollen lips, making her stick her tongue out to meet his. Her arms went around his neck, her fingers toying with the hair at the nape of it. He slowed even more, nearly pulling all the way out only to slowly bury himself back inside of her, inch for inch. And the more he did this, the more her fingers dug into his shoulders or her nails dragged down his back.

The more he did this, the more he tortured himself until finally, he almost couldn’t hold back anymore. His mouth dove against her own and he muttered quietly, “Now baby. It has to be now, I can’t take anymore, fuck.” 

When he felt her tighten around his length, he growled, nipping at her neck, lips latching on, sucking as he fucked into her faster, erratic thrusts of their bodies meeting and the sound of skin against skin competing with their moans and groans or the way she whimpered his name over and over as she went racing over the edge and he went right along with her. He fucked them through a shared orgasm and pressed himself against her before falling to the bed beside her and rolling onto his side, wrapping his body around her, hands caressing her face as he gave her a long and slow and deep kiss.

“Tired now, baby?” he teased when she yawned and nodded. “Very.”

He yawned too, nodding in agreement. “Same. Let’s go to sleep, yeah?”

“Mhm.” she purred, lips brushing against his chest, already starting to drift off...

[bamiiib]

Ethereal | Jung Jaehyun

Masterlist

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six

The taste of a new world just sitting on the tip of your tongue. He looks at you with a wanderlust gaze, and instantly you wanted nothing more than to drink that look in, and share it with him. A new life is waiting for you, but new conflict begins to sprout, all with a man who you respected so much, all to come crashing down.

Words: 5.4K

Category: Modern!AU, Angst, Fluff

Song Rec: Turning Page — Sleeping at Last

Warnings: Slight sexual content, Explicit language

A/N: about diddly darn dang time these two had a spicy scene, although i prefer not to write explicit smut, i hope y’all get the idea of whats going on *wink wink* plus i prefer for this “smut scene” to sound more romantic on behalf of Y/N and the emotions she feels through Jaehyun, a lil uwu moment for us all. anyway, sorry for the sudden disappearance man, school has been piling up and i got sick for a week so... i’m a bit behind on that lmao, but i hope you all enjoy this chapter! xoxo bambi (ps. sorry if the spacing seems funky, i’m tryna see something bc of the weird font going on w/ mobile tumblr.)

You drove off into the night; you followed the stars as the moonlit sky illuminated the empty streets. Down to wherever your wanderlust-filled hearts desired, and with his hand that rested in yours, it felt like you could conquer the world.

Nothing could come between the two of you, and for that, you felt at peace.

The windows rolled down, and the music humming against your ears, you rested your elbow against the car door, your chin falling into your palm.

You listened to the music, then the wind.

Everything sounded so perfect.

His voice that’d echo here and then, whispering sweet nothings to you, it felt harmonic.

The car had come to a stop in front of a hill. Jaehyun removed his seatbelt and leaned into you, taking in your lips in his, savoring his sweet taste.

Your hands that held onto his neck, pulling him closer enough for him to lean more than halfway towards you.

He kissed you as if it were the last thing left in the world, pulling you by your waist, tugging you enough as you moved from your seat into his, straddling his lap.

You felt him smile between each kiss. They lingered from your lips, trailing down to your neck, Jaehyun took in every piece of you.

Studying each part of your body.

His fingertips that grazed your skin, skimming over your body like one would to a book.

Each line of a beautiful word in a book filled with passion, pressed in a sweet, chaste kiss.

You moved to the back of the car, the music still playing in the background and the windows rolled back up, yet it all seemed like white noise.

Your clothes scattered on the floor, his skin pressed against yours, his hand that fit perfectly as your fingers intertwined with his. How his body seemed perfectly made to fit with yours.

A missing piece of the puzzle, found.

Each word he whispered in your ear as he rolled delicately into you, sweet like the milk and honey taste that lingered in his lips.

He took you in, touching you, reading you.

Taking everything in down to memory, he wanted nothing more than to recite everything about you.

To memorize each piece of you, till it burned in the back of his mind.

How he longed to read you, over, over, and over.

Jaehyun could never get enough of you, and you to him. Each touch pressed against your body, a new redefining phrase, your lips that whispered his name, how he wanted you to say nothing else except his name.

You were poetry, and Jaehyun wanted nothing more than to recite you with every breath he took, and every beat of his bold heart.

Every ounce of pain you felt in your life, pouring out and exchanged for love with his heart he gave so willingly to you.

You didn’t want to run.

You didn’t want to hide.

You wanted to be here, with him. 

Jaehyun.

That was all you could see, and that was all you ever wanted to remember.

To forget about the pain that turned to numbness, and to forget about everything bad in the world, because with Jaehyun—nothing could be so bad.

All you could see, and all you wanted to remember was this.

Him.

To Jaehyun’s beautiful eyes that’d shine just as bright as the stars above you as he watched your every movement. His smile, bright enough for the sun to envy, especially with those dimples of his.

The sweat that’d trickle down his chest, his body looked as if the moon kissed it itself. The windows of the car steaming up, hiding the two of you away from the world.

You looked at him as if he were this God, and how he’d look at you, as if you were his Goddess. Together, the two of you had ruled the world. A world where the only thing that ever existed were you two.

With the weight lifting away, and in your hands no longer remained a broken heart, but instead one that was all patched up. The scars were there, but as long as he was there, you were more than willing to ignore them.

You felt safe, and you felt secure. Your heart had soared, and with that, you both had stayed there. Lying in the back of the car with nothing more but a thin blanket covering your naked bodies and listened to the sweet music and the winds of the midnight air.

There, until sleep had lulled you into euphoric thoughts and beautiful dreams.

When your eyes opened, the music was off, and the birds had sung their morning tunes. The cicadas echoing loudly past the car windows as nature played its beautiful symphony.

You turned, and your arm had bumped into something. When you looked to see what it was, you were quick to smile, and felt Jaehyun’s arm wrapped around your waist lazily as he snored soundly.

You watched his chest heave up and down, the peace that took over his face, you brought a hand towards him, itching to touch him as you stared.

His skin tinted a gorgeous golden tan by the sunlight, bright enough for you to notice the tiny freckles that scattered his face. You moved your hand away, deciding it best not to touch and to let him sleep.

A hand quickly reached for your wrist before it could even fall. You gasped shortly, looking over at Jaehyun, and watched his eyes flutter open.

How in the light, the dark brown turned honey, you felt star-struck at the sight. Instantly, you wanted to drown in that sweet honey brown color of his eyes.

His thin lips curving to a smile and his dimples popping, Jaehyun pulled you close, resting his chin above your head after placing a short kiss against it.

“Good morning beautiful.” He said, voice husky and groggy from just waking up, and set something to ignite in you.

“Morning.” You whispered back, resting the hand he had let go on his bare chest, tracing short shapes onto it.

“Last night was… fun. First time doing it in a car y’know.” Your face instantly flushed at his words, taking back to what he meant, and that was when you realized the entire situation that unfolded before you.

Quickly, you shot up from where you rested, grabbing the blanket enough to cover yourself up with a sharp gasp breathing through your lips.

You looked around through the windows, relieved to see that the area still seemed just as abandoned as it did last night, and reached out for your phone that rested on the passenger’s seat.

“Shit. Shit, shit shit!” You muttered, raking your fingers through your tangled hair. Jaehyun furrowed his brows as he sat upright next to you, his lips pressed against your bare back and pressed tiny kisses onto it.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, but still found himself lost in the world you two had created, unlike you, who forced yourself back into reality, rather than the dream you deeply wished to still be in.

“It’s about to be 2, I-I gotta get home Jaehyun!” You explained, eyes wide and reached for your clothes that scattered in the backseat floor.

You listened to Jaehyun groan as you slipped into your undergarments, with him reaching for the straps of your bra and sliding them back down, kissing your back like he was earlier.

“I woke up just now though… five more minutes?” You turned around to face him, and he stared directly at you. You scoffed as you were met with those damn eyes of his, and that damn expression.

You shook your head and put on your shirt and climbed towards the passenger’s seat. “Don’t give me those fucking puppy dog eyes, I won’t fall for it!” You shouted stubbornly, but shrieked as a pair of hands snaked around your waist, pulling you back towards the back as he peppered you in kisses.

You couldn’t help the fit of laughter you fell in as you attempted to push Jaehyun away. He remained stubborn, and it was when he reached your lips, went from playful to passionate in a matter of seconds.

You melted into the kiss, at first what started as mischievous that turned lustful, you wrapped your arms around him, running your fingers through his hair.

His kisses traveled from your lips, to your collarbone, and when he found that spot that made you weak, you groaned and pushed him away.

“Come on, don’t do this! It’s not fair!” You whimpered, shaking your head as Jaehyun pressed a short kiss to your lips. “Fine.” He groaned, jutting out his lip, and you smiled gently. 

“You know what…” You mumbled, reaching back for your phone and seeing it was empty of notifications.

Your smile turned to a smirk, when you looked back at a curious Jaehyun, threw your phone to a place you’d worry about later.

“Fuck it, five more minutes won’t kill anyone.” With that, you pushed Jaehyun back down on the seats, and repeated last nights’ events.

The drive back was filled in comfortable silence. You and Jaehyun would sing along to whatever song would come up now and then, and would fall in a fit of laughter whenever someone messed up.

You even surprised him completely when a rap song came up, and you could complete every verse without falter, surprising yourself along the process.

With the sunlight bathing over your bodies, windows rolled back down and the wind rushing through your already-messy hair.

You took a deep breath in, staring at the vacant fields slowly turn to crowded buildings. You turned to face Jaehyun, immersed in driving, one hand resting peacefully onto your thigh.

“So…” You had spoken up, turning down the volume of the booming music. “Hm?” Jaehyun hummed in response. “How did you find that place, anyway?” You asked, looking at him as Jaehyun’s lips curved into a sweet smile.

“When I moved here, I didn’t really ‘fit in’ with most crowds, so I spent most of my time driving to wherever the fuck the wind took me and… I guess I found my way there.” He explained, watching a spark filled with adventure fill his eyes. It had set your adrenaline to pump all over again, wanting to taste that same adventure he ventured to.

“You really seem the reckless type, aren’t you?” You had asked with a smug grin, in which he could only respond with that exact expression.

“You’ll never get bored babe. I can assure you that.” He said just in time of a red light, turning to face you and flashed a quick wink. You scoffed in response, but smiled. “I’m counting on it.”

You got home, pressing a quick kiss to Jaehyun’s lips before parting ways. You entered the eerily quiet home, and everything was there right where you left it.

Your father sprawled on the couch, dozing off in his work uniform, one beer bottle placed on the floor, and snoring a fit.

Relief washed over you, slowly tiptoeing your way towards your room, whispering to yourself repeatedly, “Don’t wake up, don’t wake up, please don’t wake up.”

But not everything could go your way.

“Y/N? Where the hell have you been?! Do you have any idea how worried sick I was?!” Your father shot up from where he lied, shouting your ear off as you heaved a sigh and nodded your head, accepting the scoldings.

When that was done and over with, you had got just a slap on the wrist, walking back to your room, you made your way towards your mattress, and fell into its softness.

You shut your eyes, fingers fumbling with the silky sheets below you, thinking back to everything that happened. How light replaced darkness. A mess that was your heart fixed and tended to, all by one person.

One muse.

You smiled, as the memories flashed through your head. Each touch still lingering even after hours of it happening. You wanted to remember it all.

His lips that’d press against yours, soft and smooth, supple and sweet, you grew addicted from his candied lips.

Pulling him in a gentle embrace, breathing him in, and how he had always smelled like vintage bookstores and warm cafe’s.

His skin that felt so soft as your hands would roam every inch of his body. Jaehyun was perfect in your eyes, and you were perfect in his, no matter how hard you’d try to deny.

Every day spent with him felt like something pulled from a novel. Each page filled with newfound suspense, a new adventure through every chapter, falling deeper in love with him, you never wanted this story to end.

Days turned to weeks, then soon turning to months, each day spent with Jaehyun.

Finally, you were beginning to taste adulthood, no longer bearing the same mind the teenage you had carried, you were more mature. More aware.

Fear no longer drove your decisions, and darkness no longer took control of your heart. Instead, your days had filled with warmth and love, and that love had Jaehyun’s smile written into it.

Your relationship had grown stronger overtime, hanging out more often than what people would consider normal, but you didn’t care. The world wasn’t ever considered to be normal, anyway.

Your father was quick to find out about your relationship with him, and thankfully, he was quick to accept him into the family. Sure it was small, and broken, but Jaehyun didn’t care, and made himself home right away.

Everything filled with light, you remember that wash of relief, to see the shadows no longer chasing after you, begging you to come back into the dark.

Your memories filled with regret, hated, and fear, wiped away with joy, love, and courage.

You had felt anew, and everyone around you had noticed. You didn’t hide in a shell, and a newfound confidence was born into you. You took more risks, all with a wide grin and a contagious laugh.

Everything felt right with the world.

It was nearing midnight, and you were staring up at the blank ceiling, can’t seeming to rid your thoughts enough to sleep. You toss and turn, yet it all seemed pointless, so you reached for your phone and scrolled through your social media.

Curling your lips in a line, you groaned as you sat up, looking around the mess of your room, and an idea had sprout into your head. With a grin, you tossed yourself right out of bed, slipping into a thick coat to keep you warm from the harsh winter night.

Sneaking down the stairs where your father had fallen asleep on the couch—as per usual—you had noticed a piece of paper hanging from his outstretched hand.

Your brows furrowed, and your plans were quick to come at a stop and the sight.

  You walk towards your father, holding in your breath in fear of waking him up, despite knowing all too well what a heavy sleeper he was; you remained cautious.

Tiptoeing closer, you slipped the paper away from his hands, stepping away and stared at the colored sheet.

Your eyes and widened, and your heart had dropped, you read the words etched in thick, bold ink.

“A pink slip…? Dad, you got fired from your job?” You whispered, aware that he couldn’t hear your question, as if it were more to yourself as you stared at him in disbelief.

It left you confused, setting the paper down as you examined your father. He was a hardworking man. He always uses all of his blood, sweat, and tears to make sure he was doing his job.

A part of you didn’t want to believe this, knowing how much of a fighter your dad was. Surely they’d have a good reason for firing him… right?

You shook your head, raking your fingers through your hair and stumbled towards the kitchen to grab a drink of water to ease your troubled mind.

You opened the fridge, groaning at the sudden fluorescent light that had greeted you abruptly, it was when your heart had dropped.

Beer bottles scattered every inch of the fridge, not a single hint of any other liquid—or even food for that matter—found.

College had been piling up on you, most of your meals being spent over at Jaehyun’s, as Taeyong was always more than happy to cook for just the two of them. You hadn’t ever really eaten at home. Never eaten a single meal with your father ever since you graduated high school and entered college.

Your father was always so busy with work anyway, so you never saw him until he’d come home late at night, and fall into the same spot in the same couch like every other night.

You never really had the chance to make sure if your father was eating well or not.

Your chest felt heavy, and rather than sorrow, you had felt anger.

Betrayal.

All this time, you had thought your father was finally breaking out of his habit. That he would finally create a new man in himself, just as you had with your own self.

You remember the joy that spread throughout your heart in seeing your sober father act like the man he used to be before your mother had left.

But now… now it all seemed like it was nothing more but a facade.

A fake.

Acting.

That’s what it was.

Everything was a lie.

Your breath grew shaky, your teeth clenching tightly, you shut the fridge and walked back towards the front door. Taking the car keys in one single swoop from the coffee table, you glared at your father.

All this time, the man who you had respected the most… can barely respect himself.

Without a second thought, you walked right out the door.

Driving in the empty streets, the only sound filling your ears were the engine of your car running as you drove. Your mind still clouded in those thoughts, you parked in front of a familiar apartment complex, staring up at the tall building with a blank, deadpan expression.

You wanted something to numb this pain. To numb everything, and to take you away from the real world.

You watched the numbers rise as you stood in the elevator, shoving your cold hands in the pockets of your coat.

The door opened, and you listened to your heels click louder and louder the closer you got to that certain room. You arrived, and brought a hand up towards the door, yet it remained still.

You didn’t dare knock. Maybe you should turn back, try to forget everything that happened tonight. You were making a mistake, and you shouldn’t bring other people into something so personal to you.

But that feeling remained. That sense of want, filling your aching heart. The sense of need. To have all of this be numbed away, and for you to focus on it for another time.

You knocked on the door, and after a short moment, it swung open, and a half-awake Jaehyun greeted you. “Y/N? What are you doing here…?” He croaked, ruffling his messy hair. Your throat went dry and a bittersweet smile was drawn onto your lips.

“I just… wanted to see you.” The words had escaped your lips as if automatically, but when his eyes searched up and found yours, you were quick to avert his gaze.

You didn’t feel brave enough to look into them, because deep down, if you did, you knew everything would just come spilling out, and tell him everything that happened in such a short amount of time.

“O-Oh, well you should’ve texted me ahead of time babe, I would’ve stayed awake.” Jaehyun said as he smiled sweetly.

You felt guilty and continued to stare down at your shoes. “I-I know. Sorry.” You whispered. Jaehyun shook his head, taking a step towards you and pulled you in a warm embrace.

“Don’t be. I don’t mind unexpected visits if it’s from you.” He said, and as much as your heart wished to flutter, you had choked down on the butterflies that wished to roam.

“It’s cold out here, let’s get inside and I can make us something warm to drink, yeah?” He said, leading you inside as you nodded your head and laughed dryly.

He sat you down on the couch as you stared at the blank TV. The lights flickered on, and you could hear Jaehyun pour water into some mugs, then the sound of the microwave as he sorted through some boxes.

“Jasmine tea like the usual babe?” He asked, peeking his head towards you as you nodded at him. He smiled again and disappeared back into the kitchen.

Now that you think of it, you weren’t really lying when you said you wanted to see him. You’ve both been busy with your studies, you hardly had the time to see each other, but now it was winter break, and you wanted nothing more than to spend it with him.

Guess tonight was just a bad night to start because now—now you wanted to go home and curl up in the comfort of your warm bed.

You didn’t want to put all this pressure onto Jaehyun. It was none of his business to know, and you didn’t want to use him as some kind of toy you can use to distract yourself with. You weren’t like that, and you couldn’t dare allow yourself to use him like that.

“So…” You cleared your throat in attempts to distract your thoughts away from your home life.

“How’re your classes going?” You asked, watching Jaehyun walk towards you with two steaming mugs in hand. “Stressful, but hey, school is school. How about you? How’s business going for you?” He asked as he handed you a cup, in which you took graciously and took a long sip.

“It’s… well it’s okay. I suppose.” You said, your grip on your mug tightening, you stared at your dismorphed reflection through the liquid that sloshed in your cup.

It wasn’t something you were passionate about. Hell, it wasn’t even something you’d ever dream of doing, but you did it, because you believed that it’d help you and your father out from the hellhole place you both live in.

You wanted to create a better life for yourself, but for him especially.

To live happily without having to stress so much about work, just so you guys can continue to live where you live today. To think, all this time you had lived so selflessly, did every single thing for him, yet this is what he chose.

Nothing more but bitter liquor and endless sleep.

In another life maybe, you would’ve chosen something else.

Art.

You had thought back to that painting of Jaehyun from months ago, moments after confessing to him.

How even after months of being with him, he remained your muse. It was your little secret, and for the moment, you had no intentions of telling anyone, but you were happy to have him.

“You suppose? C’mon Y/N, where’s my spunky girl at? Usually you’d have something to say about it!” Jaehyun said as he brushed your shoulder with his. You smiled gently, shaking your head and took another sip before placing your mug down on the coffee table before you.

“How about you? Is the dream of becoming a ‘lawyer’ still there for you?” You asked with a grin, turning your body so that you were facing him.

It was with those words; you watched the smile that plastered Jaehyun’s lips, soon fall. He sighed, but before you could comment, his smile returned, only this time, it seemed more… empty.

Sad, maybe.

“Actually… I’m not sure what I want anymore.” He admitted, and your brows furrowed, scooting closer to him as your leg had rested just slightly on top of his.

  “What do you mean?” You asked cautiously, and with that, Jaehyun had let out a short laugh, one in which you were all too aware, was fake.

“Actually… the entire reason I came here in the first place was to go to college and study just that. I never asked to come here, nor did I ever ask to become a lawyer. It was just something that was forced onto me.” He explained, and you listened with a pained heart.

“Don‘t get me wrong! I’m glad I came here. If I didn’t, then I never would’ve met you! And who knows what kind of person I’d be now if that happened…” You smiled sadly at his words as Jaehyun turned to look at you, then bringing a hand to grasp onto yours, a gentle grip tugging onto your palm.

“If anything… you taught me something.” He started, staring down at your hands as you felt his thumb graze against the back of your hand delicately.

“You taught me to fight. To follow what my heart tells me, no matter how scared I can be. If I listen hard enough, maybe… just maybe—things can go my way.” He said, head tilting up, and he met your eyes that had been watching him carefully all this time.

You smiled faintly, and you hadn’t realized the tears that were threatening to spill until your vision became blurry with tears. Even without telling him a single thing, it was like he knew what you were feeling.

Every emotion that courses through him and pours onto you. It might as well feel like you two were the same person.

Two people, born into unfortunate families, who have to follow unfortunate destinies written out for them. All to please people who probably don’t even deserve it.

You loved your father dearly, but if this was the destiny he had written for himself, you could only do so much before you break in his place.

Even if this was the path you choose, even if you break for him—deep down, you knew he’d break right after.

You’d do anything for your father; to prove your mother wrong with those harsh words she threw at him when you were young, but for once, as you listened to Jaehyun’s words, you wanted to do something for yourself.

“No, Jaehyun… I think you’ve got it all wrong.” You said faintly, listening to Jaehyun’s confused hum as you brought your free hand up to cup his cheek.

“I think it was you who taught me strength.” You said, and tears had streamed down your cheeks. Jaehyun’s eyes widened at the sight, quick to wipe them away before they could dare crash onto the floor below.

He smiled and kissed your forehead delicately.

“I’m dropping out.” You heard him say, and your eyes shot wide open, and backed yourself away from him in surprise. “You’re… what? Why?” You asked in a moment of shock. Jaehyun sighed, nodding his head at your reaction and turned himself around to face the front.

“I don’t want to be my parents’ puppet anymore. I’m an adult now, and I should write out the destiny that I want. I-I know this might sound crazy, but I can do this. We, can do this! Our own little adventure! Run away from all of our troubles! What do you say, Y/N?” Your breath hitched at his words, meeting up his eyes that sparked with that familiar determination and enthusiasm that had been dull for a sparing second.

Every inch of your consciousness would say no. You’d still force yourself into this destiny that you had put yourself in, to better a man who can’t better himself.

You wanted to help your father; you didn’t want him to be alone, but how can you do all of that, when he can’t even help himself?

He knows all that you do for him, begs you to follow your passions. He’s the first light in your life, but now that light was dimming.

Despite him wanting you to follow your dreams, you still think about him. To better him, because if you better him, in a way—you’ll better yourself.

Why was that?

Even when fears get the best of you, you still think about others, rather than yourself. You sighed, and in your mind, apologized to your father, yet thanking him.

He only wants what is best for you, only wants you to be yourself. The only thing holding you back from all of it, is you. You looked at Jaehyun, your smile widening, you nodded.

“Okay. Let’s do it.” With that, he fell in a fit of short giggles and pressed tiny kisses all over your face.

You laughed, attempting to push him away enough to catch your breath, and that was when the reality of it all had hit you.

“W-Wait! So… how are we going to do this? What even is the first step?” You asked, and Jaehyun’s smile was quick to fall, pushing himself away from you and walked in circles, lost in thought.

You watched, head tilted in curiosity as you set your cup aside.

“I… well, I was thinking, actually…” Jaehyun said, and you hummed quietly, nodding your head when his eyes looked to meet up with yours.

“You know, Taeyong and I are best friends and all, but I’ve always wanted to live on my own. Make my own life with no help from the moment I moved to this place, and…” His voice wandered, and you stood up, reaching for Jaehyun’s hands and squeezed them gently in reassurance.

His mouth opened, yet no words came out. Lost in thought, his eyes wandering to everywhere else but you, your lips curled in a line, stubborn and curious.

You reached towards Jaehyun’s face with one hand, turning his face enough so he had no other choice but to look at you.

Jaehyun breathed out a dry, nervous laugh, nodding his head, you found the anxiety that burned deep in those eyes of his.

“I’ve been saving up, and I found this place. I-It’s not the best—in fact it’s quite shitty but—” Jaehyun rambled, but you knew well with what he was leading towards, and a bright grin was plastered onto your lips.

“Babe!” You shouted in attempts to snap him back, in which Jaehyun could only reply with another nervous chuckle.

“I want you to move in with me! A place, for the two of us! That way, we can see each other more without classes—or even life getting in the way! A place… so we can have somewhere to call our own little world, just for the two of us. What do you say?” Your eyes had welled up in tears at the thought.

Never in a million years did you ever even dream of ever moving to a place of your own so early in life, at least, not until you graduated college first, especially moving in with the person who showed you to love, and who showed you to not fear over everything.

You nodded your head once, twice, endlessly, and with a tiny shriek, wrapped your arms around Jaehyun and pulled him in a tight embrace, one in which he reciprocated as he twirled you around on the spot, and kissed your lips sweetly.

“I’m taking that as a yes?” He said, and you choked out a laugh and nodded your head.

“Yes. A million times, yes! Anywhere with you, I’ll be there.” You stated happily and kissed his lips once more.

A new life was being offered to you, and although you had many things to leave behind, this is what you wanted more than the entire world.

A fresh start.

A new you.

A world, in which you can lose yourself with no worries, because in that world, there’s Jaehyun, and that was all you needed to be okay. Not perfect, but just okay, because that was perfect for you. 

“I like having you over and all Y/N, but can you guys keep the screaming to a minimum? It’s 2 in the fucking morning!” Taeyong had abruptly shouted down the hallway, as your eyes widened when you turned to Jaehyun, and quickly, the two of you had fallen in a fit of laughter.

Yeah, not perfect in the eyes of many, but to you, it was more than that.

This was definitely the life you wanted. Until the end.