#and I suck at making connections because I’m stupidly autistic

[adxmanial]

the death of Twitter has brought me peace tbh

[elithecosmonaut]

Getting Increasingly Personal Tag

aka “i’m taking breaks in between reading Hamlet so here goes” Tagged by this bitch @thatgirlnamedeleanor​ (she knows I love her really)                                                                                                                                 One insecurity: I could go on for days, but erm...rather my weight or how much I talk. I can’t decide between the two so HAVE BOTH. Endless bullying, teasing from my family and those gosh darn perceptions of women from the media has really affected how i view my appearance, and comments from friends has made me over analyse how much I talk. It sucks.  Two fears: a) my dad b) that no one really likes me, and are just pretending to out of pity. yaaaay. Three turn-ons: (this is romantic stuff because hella ace. dunno why i felt like i had to clarify, but i will be viewing this as “3 hella cute things a person can do to make me wanna cuddle them” :P ) a) passion for a certain interest/thing. Idc what it is. That excitement makes me so happy. b) emotional intelligence. Nothing makes me interested like someone who can analyse me the way i analyse everyone else. b) a cute smile. Four life goals: a) I’M STEALING YO THING ELEANOR, I wanna publish a book one day. Or two. Or an entire series. Y’know, whatever works. b) Be a speaker at an event about mental health. c) Share a flat with Eden and Jo d) Erm...adopt kids? Five things I like: a) satire writing b) sherbet lemons c) baking d) vanilla e) 1950s dresses Six weaknesses: ho boi let’s go. a) a crazy level of perfectionism/ high standards for myself. If it’s not exactly correct, then we get to... b) my destructive nature. I lash out at myself, or i scrap projects. i once scrapped 10,000 words of a novel because i hated the last 1,000 words. c) Lack of trust, both in myself and others. I don’t believe anyone will ever stick around for long, so I don’t really put much faith in relationships. d) This leads to, when a relationship does start to get closer, me kinda...subconsciously trying to mess it up to avoid that connection. e) I open up way too much about certain topics, which scares people off, yet at the same time i don’t open up about other topics at all. What a paradox. f) my lack of understanding of people. That gosh darn autistic trait gets me into a lot of trouble. Seven things I love: a) pastels!!! I!! Hecking!! Love!! Them!! b) My characters from my first novel. No joke. c) lazy summer evenings d) stupidly long skype calls with the babes. e) that part in the sleepover where you both start opening up about stuff, and it’s all chill and safe because it’s so late and quiet and nice. f) getting into cosy pyjamas after a long and bad day. Tag 8 people: I don’t have enough friends for this. @joleyman @madamescarlette