#and I'm having some issues with my bf so i sent him to be with his family for a bit and like idk having emotions but that's NOT what this

[xxdereksfanficsxx]

Hi!! I have an idea and it's trans reader going to todoko for advice on how to confess to karamatsu, and kara notices because he tries talking to reader alone since he wants to confess to them, but gets the wrong idea about reader and todoko, so he avoids reader for a few days until reader gets tired of it and tells him everything and maybe reader shows kara how much they love him?? 🧐

I LOVE this idea!! The juices are flowing in my head, I hope it's okay if it takes me a little bit to get this posted, I have a lot going on at the moment, but I will gladly sit down and write this!

[thecameronchronicles]

Hearts and Minds

TW: slight angst. Smut. Language. 

SUMMARY: JJS POV of what happens when your starcrossed romance is threatened. 

WORD COUNT: 2000

*REQUESTED*

Kook!Reader cheating on her boyfriend with JJ the pouges know and every time you call him they tell him is bad that he has to stop and mean things about you and he promised that will be the last time but when he gets to your house you tell him you broke up w your bf because you’re in love with him (maybe JJs pov)

Hearts and Minds

JJ's POV

My cheek came to a rest against my knuckles, all to hide the way they tightened as they spoke of her. All because she was a Kook and they held their own thoughts in regards to her. For John B, he was worried about my feelings whereas Pope was the philosopher he was in describing how she was simply exercising her "daddy issues" on me. But it would be Kiara's words that struck a sensitive chord within.

 The way this beautiful yet privileged girl had kept me a secret for the better part of a year. My importance in her life only meaning anything when it was too late to be noticed at her side. And until lately, I didn't mind. But with Kiara, Pope, and John B often left in the dirt as I made some poor excuse when they knew it was to see her, I understood their concern. Even if I didn't agree. It made sense. Painful sense. 

"It's always the same, J. She calls and you drop everything and dip…for what? An hour-" I was quick to scold her for my reputation. 

"Excuse me, Kie," I feigned hurt with a hand to my chest. "Never had any complaints before…"

"She's bad news…" Pope commented from behind his book, a title set on the upcoming collegiate year's syllabus as he remained a step ahead in all things which included stepping on my patience. 

As they continued to discuss her selfishness and greedy tendency to care little for the way I seemingly lived to please her, not that it took much, her name spread across my phone. My eyes shifted to find them looking at me with a unified glare of disappointment. 

"Look, we're just having fun-"

"Having fun?" Kiara scoffed. "She's dating someone else, J! You deserve better than that. I mean…be with who you want…but at least be with someone who is proud to be with you!" Her words, as always, were crass but necessary. And just as before, she was right. I wasn't in the belief I deserved a grand love like something based off a book one of the bored housewives at the country club read between brunch and tennis practice. But I know I should be smart enough to at least distance myself from someone already spoken for. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment. Because every time I was over her, feeling her nails in my skin and her breath whimpering my name, I forgot who I was. The pain. The trouble. She was worth it all because she made me think of only her. But of course, they didn't know this. How could they? Why should they? Because to them, she was just some Kook. 

"You're right." I sighed. "It has to end…I'll go over now…" John B scoffed. 

"If you aren't back in half an hour, I'm dragging you out myself!" Kiara called after me as I hiked myself over the center of my dirt bike to read her message. I fought the smirk on the rise at either edge of my mouth to the familiar picture sent to entice me. It took such little motivation and I'd leave everything behind for her. Because it was more than sex. We smoked. We talked. We fucked. It worked. And now I agreed to walk away from it. From her….

It took only a handful of minutes before I convinced myself they were wrong. It didn't matter what they thought of her, I know how I felt with her. Her touch. Her voice. Her presence. It was worth the shit they gave me. But as I made it in sight of her driveway, prepared to leave the broken promise to my friend along with the gas burned to come to her so quickly, I found her with him. 

Her arms wrapped around him as he kissed her cheek, a sight rage-inducing enough to wrap my hands around the bars of my bike. I could best the other guy in seconds, proving some masculine point that she'd only ridicule me for exercising. But she was worth it to me. That comfort. The conversations nobody knew or had to know that we shared. The way she made everything hurt a little less and feel the pleasure a bit more. But right now, I could leave her this way. Waiting for me. Wondering if I'd show. Just for her to know the pain I felt now. But Kiara's voice returned in my mind that she'd just find someone else. Some other 'victim'. 

"JJ!" Her usual sweet tone made me clench my jaw as she stood beside my bike. The attitude I loved to tame by forcing her to her knees and making her with my need to test her throat was now set against me with humor. A humor I didn't share. 

"Can we talk?"

"Usually when we talk, it's after you got what you wanted…" I explained once I crossed the threshold of her bedroom, the door closed softly behind me. Her eyes sharpened in having been upset. 

"JJ-"

"Sorry, princess, isn't this what you wanted? Me to follow you, like I always do? Make you come and then you go back to him?" It wasn't until now that I realized how jealous I was of her boyfriend. It didn't seem to matter until Kiara compared us. How I couldn't offer much of anything but what she'd already taken in repetition. 

"JJ-" My hands came to my belt. 

"Can't hear you, you're wearing too many clothes-" She moved towards me, but with futile attempts. 

"JJ-"

"Did you want me to see you together? Like I'm not reminded every weekend at the boneyard or everyday I go to work?" I stepped closer. "Does he know how many times I fucked you in that bathroom just around the corner of his favorite table at the Island Inn? How I know you like two fingers bent inside of you and another," I stopped myself. 

"Well it doesn't matter now. I'm done sharing you. I'm done with all your games and your-"

"I broke up with him." I paused. I longed for those words. More than I thought. Not realizing just how much until hearing them. 

"Wh-Did exactly look like it when I got here…"

"We've known each other our whole lives. Not all breakups are explosive…"

"How do I know this isn't some game? Just so I won't leave-" Sighing she pulled her phone to my focus. Written in black and white of a floral background, her phone was broadcasting the conversation she had with her boyfriend. Now ex. A title I favored more than any other. 

"Because I love you, JJ." I was frozen by her words. 

"So now…" She pushed me to the edge of her bed, straddling me. 

"You can have me all to yourself…" Her body felt like sand between my fingers until this moment. Even if I had her in my grasp, she was always slipping away. But now, she was mine. 

"Say it." I ordered with a hand set through her loose waves making up her long hair. Licking her lips, she teased my own as I moved forward to kiss her before she would back. Proving once again she was somehow controlling me still. 

"I'm yours." The smile making up my entire face was enough to make her take the lead once again. Only now it was to remove her shirt. 

"Every inch, JJ…"

"Didn't realize you wanted my cock already, usually you like when I-'' She hit me against my chest as I was quick to set her onto her back. 

"You don't want to take your time?" She teased as I tore her shorts from her hips. I answered by pulling her to the edge of the bed, her legs set over my shoulders. 

"I've already wasted enough time…" I found her favor as she ran her perfectly manicured fingers throughout my messy hair. That familiar pull and accompanying purr made me moan into her, deepening her pleasure. In what seemed like seconds she was already arching her back in protest to the quick orgasm. 

"JJ…" She moaned. 

"Not yet." I dove deeper into her, my arm keeping her flat as she rode into my tongue making quick work of a release. 

"Please! I'm yours!"

" Yeah?" I asked while pulling myself from her thighs as she nodded. For a moment I grinned, rising between her legs. 

"What are you-" She questioned as I removed my phone. 

"You're mine, princess?" She nodded. 

"Then open wider for me, sweetheart. Let me see just how you're mine…" She was bold. Proving this by posing for the camera with her fingers between her legs. Her clit thoroughly adored by her fingertips as I groaned at the sight. 

I leaned down to her, my hand playing with the breast newly owned by my grasp as she writhed beneath me. 

"JJ…" She whimpered as I bit my bottom lip as she rode on her elbows. 

"I think I want to make you come…" She whined. 

"You think?" She moved to the edge of the end as I kept the camera trained on her. 

"This way…" She took my cock in her hand, stroking in perfect corkscrew turns as I humed for her. Torn between watching her and basking in her glossed lips inching closer to me. Suddenly she took me in stride. The feeling of her cheeks hollowed for me made my own suck in with a gasp. 

"Goddamnit!"

She smirked before quickening. All too proud of herself for my liking. Disposing of the phone and my willpower, I pinned her flat. But not to ravage her immediately. I wanted to return the favor of her torment. 

I began softly. Slow enough to feel every goosebump and hear every shudder of her breath. 

"JJ…" She whined as I silenced her with a hand to her mouth. Two fingers, she sucked without guidance to do so as I set them between her legs. 

"Yes…" She breathed in agreeability before her hand wrapped around my wrist. 

"My girl will be thoroughly fucked-" She gasped as I took my other hand around her breast. "And next time it will be at The Chateau so all my friends can hear why it is I put up with your little attitudes…all to hear you beg like this…"

"Because you love me…" I reminded her as she nodded. 

"I do…" 

"You love fucking me…Feeling me inside of you…feeling me come…letting you-" She suddenly turned, her hand pulling at my hair. 

"I love you, JJ…Everything. You." She spoke quickly as I smirked, positioning her leg higher so I could access her as I pleased. And with one final kiss, I felt her wrap around me. 

Time was meaningless as I based it on her moans. For each dire plea came a minute in knowing she was getting close for me. I teased her relentlessly for it, reminding her how I owned every sound she made. She agreed in making such responses even louder and longer for me. Sweat made it easy to glide against her as I gripped my fingers into the sheets over her own. 

"Come with me!" She whined as I was beneath her orders once again. If her body hadn't already offered me such pleasure, maybe I'd have teased her a bit more. But to know she wanted this. For her to know I did, it was enough to forgive her former attitude and taunting. 

"Yes, JJ…baby…just like that…" I bit softly into her shoulder. I loved being hers just as I relished in her being mine. And I proved just how much, as I came as deeply inside of her as I could. Reminding her of me even after I'd return to The Cut. 

"I love you…" I confessed beneath my quick breathing. 

"What was that?" She smirked, simply wanting to hear it again. So I turned her to face me. 

"I love you, princess."

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection

MASTERLIST

JJ MAYBANK MASTERLIST

JJ MAYBANK 2ND MASTERLIST

JJ MAYBANK X KOOK READER MASTERLIST

MARCH MADNESS MASTERLIST

[mrs-monaghan]

Your post about Vape is so wrong

1. You said he didn't panicked in white day live why he should panic over a vape ? It's not some illegal substance to panic and hide. Plus he was all drunk and in his feels that day to even bother about a vape. While in other video it was morning and he was getting ready for work, maybe that's why he hid it suspiciously

2. That was NOT Porsche car key. That was also vape. Maybe you got confused by big size but they do come in that size and you can find exact model on Google. You said you smoke then idk why you couldn't under that in both cases lol.

3. That mic charger doesn't look anywhere near the vape he had during white day lol. Idk why you said that when it's 101% clear it's a vape. People even identified the Brand and flavor in a look.

4. You said rap line and Tae doesn't have a problem if they smoke, as of now its established only Taegi smokes. And rest in vocal line don't as they sing high notes. But Taemin, a singer, is a known smoker who has been smoking for years, since he was so young. There was an ash tray in one of the old pic from Jin's hotel room. And JK vapes. The only vocal line member who's not seen with any vape or smoking device is Jimin. But there's a 90% of chance he does too as his group mates, close friends and his potential bf vapes.

5. The only option which make a lil sense is it being not his vape. BUT why would he have it at night with him? One time on his dining table and other time on his top of his couch ? Not places where visitors leave it, TWICE. So that's his. Case closed.

Case closed

Do you people think I enjoy insulting u? Do you think I enjoy calling you names? BAHAHAHAHAHA! Who I'm I kidding? I love it. It brings me immense joy. Also when u curse in Kenya people look at you like you're insane. I live in the UK now where you can't go a day without hearing someone say "fucking cunt" its amazing!!

Fun fact about me: when I was in high school and people needed to write break up letters, (yes I am that old. We used to write letters. What was a phone even?) they would come to me. Or if a boy broke up with them and they needed to insult that boy, they came to me. Yes. I am a professional insulter.

Oh anon. Incase u couldn't tell I don't much care for this ask. You already sent it to a friend and told them to pass it to me because I have my anons off. I told my friend to tell you that u are an idiot. So I'm glad you're here so I can say it to you; anon, you're a fucking donut!

I drink beer, alot. Doesn't mean I know every beer brand out there. So how I'm I, a social smoker supposed to know how every vape looks like? That being said, my stand on the JK vaping issue, remains the same.

It's okay if u wanna think all BTS members sit around and puff puff pass, thats your call. But I think what I think. And I need more proof. Like I've already stated.

Idiot.

[eveandtheturtles]

Through Fire and Smoke part 2

Ship: Bayverse!Leo X Named!Reader

Summary: Leo and you are going on a date. You find out more about him. More than you expected. Happens during chapters 8-10 of Started with a Kiss (my Donnie x OC fic).

A/N: Hope y'all excited for more Amelia and Leo lol. Everyone here is in an adult unless stated otherwise. First part is in my masterlist! Reader is a Firefighter. I didn't expect this chapter to be split into two but it did lol. The next part, should be the final part probably. There might be more. Here's some tags!

@madammuffins @m1dnyt3-w0lf @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @leosgirl82 @pheradream-15 @tinkabelle19 @scholastic-dragon @dilucsflame33 @sharpwindow

(if anyone wants to be removed lemme know)

After the little rescue you did for Leo you two kept in touch, especially since you set up a date. The text conversations you had with him were the highlight of your day. You found out he was a little bit of a geek from the way he talked about shows and even admitted to have a small collection of posters and action figures he shared with his younger brother, Donnie. He was charming but you loved teasing him the most. He had the best reaction to that. The no-nonsense exterior would crack a little revealing a more relaxed, pun-loving Leo. You enjoyed that guy

You didn't know what you expected from your date with the mysterious mutant turtle. Which meant some wild guessing on how to dress for it. Maybe something like Lady and the Tramp style? You imagined a date in back alley with two Chinese chefs serenading you over orange chicken. Ridiculous.

Then maybe a day before the date he revealed something you needed a moment to process.

[Smoked Turtle: Hey so I figured there's something I should have told you sooner]

You read the message and a sliver of anxiety creeped up at you. You quickly pushed it back and wrote back

[You're secretly a 6 foot tall turtle living in a sewer?]

[Smoked Turtle: -snort- very funny.]

[I'm here all week]

[Smoked Turtle: but seriously, you should know this before we go on a date]

[Fire away, sir.]

He started typing. The three dots blinked on your screen for a minute, two. Then they stopped. Then appeared again. Finally, he sent the message.

[Smoked Turtle: Im poly.]

The three dots were still on your screen.

[Smoked Turtle: I have a bf his name is Jake]

Ah. Well, you didn't exactly expect that. You thought he might tell you he's alien prince or dying or that he was raising a clutch of baby mutant turtles (was that even the correct term? You needed to google that).

[Well, thank you for telling me this. I'm guessing he knows about you planning on going on a date with me?]

[Smoked Turtle: Yeah. I told him about you and he didn't object. He knows I'm poly too and we had discussion about it and all.]

[Smoked Turtle: You can back out if this is uncomfortable for you.]

You thought for a moment. One of your coworkers were poly. You recalled her gushing about her partners but also complain about the issues she had. You weighted your own feelings.

[Thank you for telling me this.]

You paused because, wow that did put you in a spin.

[So, we're still up for 8pm tomorrow?]

[Smoked turtle: Yes. Do you have any questions?]

[Well, we're not serious yet, I'll just process through it and I'll shoot them your way when I have them. One girl at the station is also poly. So it's not as strange for me as you'd think.]

You couldn't tell over the text if he relaxed more or was still anxious so you switched the conversation to something lighter.

The next day you were bouncing a little checking the clock. Right on time, maybe even a few minutes early, Leo knocked on your window.

"Hi," you greeted him as he waited for you on the fire escapes.

"Hey." Leo smiled at you. "You look nice."

"Thanks!" You replied happily.

It was definitely a change of outfit for you. Nothing fancy, since you knew you were going to just grab Chinese but. And it was getting cold outside. So you picked your nicest sweater jacket and a long, light brown coat, jeans and pair of cute boots. To make it even nicer you added your favourite hoop earrings you normally couldn't wear.

"So how are we getting to the place, because I doubt we can take a walk or taxi?" You asked him, climbing through your window to him.

"You're right, we can't," he agreed. "You will experience the what we call Turtle Express." He offered you his hand and you took it looking at him curiously.

"Hope you're not too attached to your hairstyle," he added suddenly tightening the grip on your hand and pulling you against his chest.

"What?" Was all you managed to say before he jumped up.

Now you knew why it was called 'Turtle Express'. Leo was moving at what you perceived as almost the speed of light. You noticed you were yelling about halfway to your destination. You looked up at his face and there was just pure glee on it. Motherfucker. It looked good on him.

Finally, with a final jump down and a bit of a backflip (which you suspected he did totally on purpose) you two landed in front of a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. Leo set you down gently to the ground, holding you until your legs stopped shaking.

"You're kind of an ass, you know that?" You said and he grinned.

"Sorry, couldn't help it."

You shook your head amused. You also looked around. "Uh, Leo? Aren't you worried-"

"Hi Mrs. Chang!" Leo called to an elderly woman selling old books, magazines and CDs at the store next to the restaurant.

"Leonardo!" She called back. "Come, come," she waved her thing hand at him. "You can help!"

"Is Kevin not around?" He asked concerned.

"His mother's sick. Good boy went to help her," she informed him. "Said he will be here alter but you're here! You will help this poor old woman."

Leo nodded along. "Sorry, this will take a second," he said.

"I'll help too," you said, curious about this whole situation. You followed behind him.

Mrs. Chang looked at you, her sharp eyes eyeing you from head to toes. "Who's this?" She grinned at Leo. He quickly grabbed crates from the front and started carrying them inside. Clearly, done it before.

"I'm Amelia, nice to meet you, ma'am." You introduced yourself. You followed behind Leo.

Between you two closing up the store went super quickly. You also got front seat to witness the strength of the turtle, when he would easily grab four or five crates like they weighted nothing. Show-off. It was still a nice show.

"Tell your father, he is going to lose mahjong this week!" Mrs Chang told Leo as they were finishing up. "I feel good fortune in my bones."

Leo snorted. "I will Mrs Chang."

The old woman pulled him down a little.

"I like this girl! She's nicer than that boy," she said that you were sure was supposed to be a whisper but came more of a stage whisper.

"Okay, Mrs Chang. I'll text Kevin he doesn't need to come to help you." He smiled and straightened up.

"Good bye Mrs Chang!" You called and the two of you headed for the restaurant. "So what's that all about?"

"Ah... well... I'll tell you once we're inside." He opened the door for you, leading you inside.

The air was heavy with the smells from the kitchen and the steam from the cooking dishes. It smelled deliscious. There were some guests in it and it seemed all of them knew Leo. And his father apparently.

You both sat down at a free table and soon a waitress joined you.

"Hey Leo, what can I get for you two?" She asked.

"Hi Mei. For start I'll take a beer." He looked at you to see your choice.

You looked at the menu. It was a big laminated page. And it was all in Chinese. "Uh."

Leo chuckled and fliped it over. There. English. "Oh thanks," you briefly scanned what they had. "Yeah beer is good for start," you smiled.

"Okay, I'll be right back." The girl left you to decide on food.

"So~" you slowly started, "not that I mind and all but how come you can be out in the open here?"

"Oh, uh, well," Leo chuckled awkwardly, "there was a lot of trouble here happening. So we would drop by often to deal with it and people started talking among each other. One day we got a call from one of the shopkeepers we saved before. We rushed in ready to do our thing but then... turns out everyone got together to throw a party in hour honor." He looked over in the direction of the kitchen with a fond look. "They told us we don't have to hide here. So we drop by every now and then. My dad comes here to play Mahjong."

You nodded, feeling warmed up inside. It gave you faith in humanity that people would accept Leo and his family.

Mei returned briefly to bring you drinks and take your food order. The conversation started flowing. Leo asked you about your work at the Firestation and you had couple laughs from the stories about your coworkers but also the calls you had. You watched him being excited about the new comic books he got into. It was so cute and charming to see his face lit up and some of the weight you saw him carry just fall off.

Plus the food was deliscious. There were no musicians but you had a bit of a Lady & the Trump moment when you wanted to try his food and he placed some of his potion on your plate without a hesitation.

There were people coming in the restaurant, most of them were greeting Leo and he was waving back. Some would approach your table and chat with him. He introduced you to everyone who approached and engaged you into the conversation.

You were having fun. More than you had in a long time. Finally, it was getting dark and it was time to get you home. Your eyebrows raised when he offered to pay for everything.

Leo cleared his throat. "You know how we from time to time cooperate with organized crime, yeah? It pays enough to take a pretty girl on a date some time," he explained, once the two of you left the restaurant.

"I didn't know there was a third person here," you teased. You smirked and looked around as if looking for that 'pretty girl'. He snorted and shook his head.

You two started walking slowly.

"You're uhm," he shifted on his feet awkwardly. "You're more than pretty. You're beautiful."

You felt your cheeks flushed. "Thank you, you're not too bad yourself," you said and bit your bottom lip, feeling shy all of a sudden. The way Leo looked at you then looked away with a small smile, told you you managed to fluster him a little too.

"SO!" You exclaimed to chase that away. "When are we going to do this again?"

Leo did a double take at you. "You want to-?" His eyes were so large. He barely believed you said that.

"Yes, very much so," you reassured him. "You can text me later, we'll arange something." You bumped into his shoulder. Then you slipped your hand into his and making him go speechless. "Any other fun activities for today?"

"I- w- huh, uhm, yes!" Briefly he had a trouble finding his tongue but eventually he got there, grinning widely.

Next you knew, you were scooped up from the ground. Maybe one day you were going to get used to the turtle express.

A few hours later you were back at your place. You were a little tipsy but also giddy from the date.

"Thank you Leo," you told him, sitting on the window sill. "I had a lot of time today."

"Yeah, me too." He was leaning a bit inside, holding the window panel up. "Thanks for giving me a chance."

"You're ridiculous, why wouldn't I?" You said and maybe on impulse you leaned closer and kissed him. His lips had fascinating texture. Strange, alien but familiar enough you wanted more. He leaned into you. His hand wrapped around your waist and your arms wrapped around his neck. You nudged his lips with your tongue and he let you in. The weight of his hands sparked fire inside you. It's been too long. He felt so solid against you.

You worked around strong guys and by no means were you a delicate woman. Still something in the way he held you made you feel so prescious.

You traced with your deft, blunt nails slipped under his mask, tracing down the back of his skull. The growl you caused made you snap back to reality.

It was dangerously becoming more heated than you planned. You pulled back, flushed, out of breath.

"Text when you get home." You whispered against his mouth. Regretfully pulling back.

"Yeah," he said, his lips stroking yours, not sure if he wanted to let you go just yet.

You smiled, your hand sliding down his arm. Leo reluctantly slipped back outside. Neither of you remembered how and when he came into your flat. You watched him stand there for a moment. You waved at each other. He inched to the edge of the railing. Just before he jumped down he looked over his shoulder. A soft smile on his face was matching yours. When he disappeared you closed the window.

You needed a really cold shower.

[fauxridium]

What is exactly is the deal with pretty-boy-thamaturge? I know you reblogged a post about them and even though I'm not into that fandom that is, I checked to block anyway and they have you on a post that says ask to follow if you support him. They also made a post about a transmed stalking them, but I don't for sure know if they're referring to you, but I've been following you since you drew Zelda stuff and well, you definitely do not seem like one. Mainly I'm just concerned about their deal wit

The basic low down is that they're a self admitted conservative, pro cop, and are transphobic (even if they id as trans now, they still back up and support transphobic ideologies) so like. In general just not a good person with their world views lmao

I am Definitely not a transmed, if they were talking about me i have no idea where they would even get that from, i literally have transmed under my dni criteria in my carrd so. Lol, im also a very high fem non op trans man myself so me being transmed literally makes 0 sense fjskv

But to summerize my Personal issues with this person as best and as short as possible. I have osdd with a system member that kins faux and is not comfortable with doubles (they can cause very bad episodes of unreality that can become potentially dangerous for the body), they have did with a system member that kins faux and is not comfortable with doubles (for similar reasons as far as im aware), they joined a brc server im in (a public fandom server, not meant for kinnie stuff, mind you), and put in their intro like. Literally me no doubles or smth along those lines and listed faux, so I, in good faith, messaged them to let them know that i also kin faux and am not comfortable with doubles and would like to work something out so we could both be in the server and still be comfortable, they didnt take it well, ended up leaving the server (or being removed, still not sure what happened there because they were causing issues in the server Anyways), and then they proceeded to just be? Very weird fjeg, they had me blocked certain places, but didnt have me blocked on others, and would still try to interact with me as if we were chill. For some reason even tho i apparently trigger them (which. Idk if someone triggered me by just simply existing i wouldnt try talking to them DJDG), i ended up blocking them on everything once i was told about the kind of transphobic shit they were retweeting and them being a cop boot licker, and honestly. If anyone was doing any stalking it was them, because atp i simply forgot about it and redid my carrd to what it is now, and literally within a handful of hours of me doing it, like within the same night, i was told and shown that they redid their entire carrd to look basically exactly the same as mine, and even stole the icon i edited myself specifically for My carrd, the one im using as my icon rn, but they used the same bg and shit and while like. Everything else there could be plausible deniability on why it was the same. The fact that they took the icon i made myself just made it obvious they took everything from my carrd, they have since changed it a bit to look at least. A bit different, but are still using my icon lmao, so again, if anyone was the stalker in this situation it was def them because how would they see i changed my carrd That quickly after i had already blocked them and then. Choose to basically copy it if they werent checking my shit like. Is that not stalkerish behaviour DJSKG

Theres some other shit with them pretending to be a 3rd party to defend themselves in my bfs inbox but they ended up forgetting to hit anon on a follow up message they sent which basically just. Outed them for lying about being a third party who "doesnt know them very well but had to get on a call with them to calm them down" which like. Lol okay, mostly that's just cringe but also goes to show that they're not a trust worthy person who lies to try to defend themselves lmao

My main issues with them anyways isnt really with the personal shit, i dont like them for it sure, but i think the fact that they're trying to hide being conservative on tumblr while making it obvious on twitter by once again, interacting and retweeting from notoriously bigoted people and accounts is honestly deplorable, especially in a fandom that has a lot of trans people in it who def Would Not interact or associate with them if they knew the type of shit they were rting and posting on twitter. Hell they even admitted to being conservative themself in the replies of one of my posts, like. Idk PERSONALLY i just dont think we should allow for bigots in fandom spaces that are, again, full of many trans people. Also being pro cop but being into a game that is Very Anti Cop. Like how did you miss the point that bad lmfao

BASICALLY TLDR they are not a good or trust worthy person and anyone who is trans or anti cop or really have any morals at all should stay far far away from them lmao

EDIT: WAS JUST INFORMED THEY COPIED MY N$F￦ TWITTER HANDLE TOO. @ THIS PERSON IF YOU SEE THIS POST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GODS SAKE FJSKGSGD

[biblicalhorror]

This friend of mine is always sending me quirky little updates on her relationship that basically boil down to her boyfriend being kind of mean to her for no reason and I need some advice I think

Like apparently she's gained a little weight recently so she's been making all these jokes about how she has a "dumptruck ass" now and her boyfriend for some reason decided to get her a "gift" that's a little plastic truck labeled "world's tiniest tonka truck"

Am I judging too harshly? Is this a normal relationship dynamic where one person is dealing with body image issues and trying to put a positive spin on things and the other person responds by taking away the positive spin through "jokes"?

It's not like these are status updates on social media, btw. They're sent specifically to only me, the friend that has told her (as nicely as possible) that she should break up with this loser.

Also, one time I casually mentioned in front of the bf that my friend is bisexual (she had been fully out to everyone but family for about 9 months atp) and he completely flipped his shit because, apparently, he had previously assumed she was joking about it. He also (according to her) has an extremely homophobic best friend that he wants to move in with them and she's expressed discomfort with that idea but he won't drop it

More recently, he's been constantly sending her listings for houses to buy in rural DC despite the fact that she's told him multiple times she has no desire to live anywhere near that area.

Some more important context: she is a leftist who was raised in a super conservative Christian household and her dad is a sheriff, so since I've known her she's dated almost exclusively Republicans and/or libertarians until now (this guy is a centrist democrat)

Anyway, the advice I need: Am I being too harsh in my judgement of this guy? Is this a normal/healthyish dynamic that anyone sees elsewhere? If no, does anyone have any ideas for what I can try to say to her to get her to actually either leave him or stand up for herself? If this hadn't been going on for the past 4 years I would just let things run their course but I'm honestly so worried she's going to end up being roped into buying a house with and marrying this asshole if nothing changes soon

[torawro]

3some with johnny you say.. sosaa listen to me on a poly relationship with them😵‍💫johnny is such a pillow princess alright, it's difficult for him to take charge anyway, and he just so badly wants you & gyro to coddle him and make him feel good... gyro fucking you and making johnny watch, telling him "keep her head in your lap, baby~ be a good boy f'me and we'll fuck you like this next" SATIATE ME RN PLEASE !! both you and johnny just wanna be bred by your silly big dick bf and it makes you both turn so good and sweet for him<3

rekha............ REKHA.

OH MY DAYSSSSS DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS MADE ME FEEL? YOU MUST KNOW HOW THIS WOULD HAVE MADE ME FEEL IF U SENT THIS IN???? i wish you could have seen my face when i read this half asleep!!! it took me all mf day to get back to this and i deeply apologize for it but now that i'm settled?????? oh gosh. clit doing the hippity hop all over again :( let's get into ITTTTTT. minors do not interact!

this is..... is one of the best, most indulging, delicious, entertaining, moan-producing, feet-wiggling, back arching thirsts i have received and i am STILL struggling to gather my thoughts🥴 bisexual johnny but only for gyro is canon because we are all in a mf poly relationship !!!!!!!!!!!!! i love my boyfies and they love me <3 ugh this LITTLE PIECE OF DIALOGUE THAT YOU'VE WRITTEN HAS ME GOING INSANNEEE!!! gyro calling a johnny a GOOD BOY? oh yes. YESS HE WILL BLUSH SO HARD AND LOOK AWAY BUT HE FUCKING LOVES IT. and i haven't quite gotten to the part where they talk about his family life but because of my growing obsession with him and gyro, i read up on some stuff (without spoiling too much) and i see he had some problems at home and a strained relationship with his dad 🥺 UGH MY POOR BOY! so i think gyro calling him a good boy and offering him something he wants will truly stun him and he'll freeze up, because a pet name like that, being referred to as a good boy when he's been hating and beating himself up for most of his life, will touch / heal something deep inside of him :( and even though he won't admit it, he is willing to do anything to have gyro-- or us-- to call him a good boy.

i didn't mean to get that analytical and solemn but i just had to mention that LMAO ANYWAY, back to the main point here. when you said both me AND johnny just want to be good for our silly, big dick boyfriend so he can breed us both AHHHFHDHFHSDHFSH I LITERALLY SCREAMED BECAUSE THAT IS SO REAL OF US ! me and johnny both pillow princesses too but i definitely don't mind putting in some extra work for my boys from time to time <3 just as long as they return the amount of pleasure threefold 😊 i'll coddle my baby johnny as much as he likes, and just watch him get so flustered but still put on a tough exterior and be smooth about it. like when it's time to sleep at night, it'll be like a sandwich situation and me and him alternate on being in the middle, cause sometimes i'll just hold him against my titties so he can use them as a pillow and just rub on his head softly and then gyro is the big spoon holding us both close to him 🥹 alright wait because now i'm thinking of specific scenario:

thinking about it's late at night and we're not wearing any long pants, we had already dozed off to johnny gently caressing up and down our bare thigh and gyro's big hand rubbing our pudgy tummy and it's just so peaceful. the moonlight shining against our skin, the feeling and sensation of being pressed up against them is making something akin to desire to stirs in the pit of their stomachs. although johnny tries to ignore it—by snuggling closer into your boobs and holding pulling our thigh over his slim waist—gyro let's his impulses take over because he knows he won't be able to sleep if he doesn't resolve this issue. and he knew johnny was already awake so why not confide in his special, pretty girl and his special pretty boy for some relief? you'll know it'll help us both, he says to johnny with only his eyes and a growing, sly grin.

next thing we know, gyro has us bent over into the prettiest arch, our panties clutched and dangling in between the glistening, golden grillz in his mouth. while we're bent over, our face rests in johnny's lap, his own cock up freed from its cloth confines and standing up at attention, twitching violently with each puff of breath from our mouths, each kitten lick, lewd suck down his entire shaft, or a graze of our finger. one of his hands is supporting our head upright, the other is on the back of our head, guiding us up and down his cock whenever we end up engulfing his entire length into our mouths. the clapping sound of gyro's hips against the fat of our ass, the noises of us gagging and gargling all over johnny's dick the sound of our and johnny's moans, along with gyro's groans + cursing?! omgggg it's obscene and it smells like sex, gyro's signature musk, and the special, sweet-smelling soap we use to bath ourselves and it only collectively turns everyone on with each passing moment. johnny had to gather the willpower to stop himself from cumming too early at least three times because his crystalline blue eyes were laser focused on the ripples on our ass cheeks whenever gyro plunged his cock into us or tugged on our hair a bit to deepen our arch or force us to look at him. you two were so . . . . tantalizing it drove him insane, which caused him tighten his grip on us and did all he could to thrust his hips into our mouth to fuck our poor throat.

gyro sees this and that startling grin of his only widens, if possible, and lets out throaty, guttural chuckle that sends a chill up johnny's spine, his dick twitching in your mouth, and causes us to tighten around gyro. we couldn't seem to fathom how a short laugh could be so attractive but both of our minds were too far gone, too deep in the never-ending abyss of pleasure that we were giving each other. gyro pushed the long, ashy blonde locks that fell from his hair tie from his face with one hand, and the sight alone almost proved to be too much for him, feeling his body increase exponentially in temperature and the need to cum down your throat was all-consuming. "aw, look at you. you're doing so good, f'r me baby boy, so fucking good. keep fucking her throat just like that—yeah, there you fucking go. good boy." leaning closer to johnny, gyro planted one arm on the bed to support his weight, all without missing a beat in his hips. in fact, this only made him able to reach the furthest depths our cunt and we mewl loudly in pleasure, gripping the sheets of the bed.

with gyro's face now hovering in front of johnny's, the older man spoke again, "i saw you watching before. you want next baby? wanna get fucked like a whore too? hmm? i know you do, and i'ma give to you. . . real good." with each word he purred, his voice got lower and huskier, grunts paired with every letter he uttered. johnny cursed the man in his mind for being so goddamn sexy, but the only thing that came out his mouth was a moan of our and gyro's name from behind gritted teeth, and a long, drawn out, "fuck, yes!" to gyro's question as he came into our mouth, spare droplets of his seed dribbling and leaking from the sides of our mouth, while we attempt to swallow the rest of it. the long haired man could only smirk to himself at seeing his pretty babies enjoy themselves so much. not long after that, the positions were switched and it was now johnny who had his face in between your plump thighs, slurping and licking the slick from our puffy pussy lips. we would hide every time his nose bumped pleasurably against our clit and his low moans against our sex caused by gyro’s deep, rough thrusts into johnny’s pink puckered hole. we were very happy to both get violated by our goofy boyfriend’s fat dick <3

[polyamorousmood]

Hiii! (🫀again)

I really appreciate everything you wrote in response to my last ask! You told me to keep you updated, so I will :))) Things are going great (as they have been) with my bf, and he and I have a lot of date plans that are gonna be super fun! He's a nerd about a lot of things so I need to like catch up on everything he's interested so we're gonna binge the Daniel Craig James Bond movies soon.

While things are going pretty well between me and him, I'm worried that my metamour is feeling excluded. She doesn't say anything and she's always in a good mood when we talk (either one on one or with my bf), but she seems less close with my bf than I am. It just doesn't seem right since she and my bf have been dating for about a year and I've been with my bf for way less long than that. Every time we're in a group setting and I notice she's by herself, I include her in the conversation I'm having with my bf and she seems happy about being a part of it. I just worry that even if she acts happy and says she's happy that maybe she's a little jealous. And I do get that people have different love languages, and she's never really been as affectionate as I am (from what I gathered from my bf), so maybe that's it, but I just want things to be fair and equal between us since she's been around for longer and I just kind of showed up a few months ago and gave everybody an identity crisis lol Is there anything I should do to keep things fair between all of us? I just gotta make sure everybody's comfortable here since I want it to last.

Thanks again for everything you wrote last time I sent an ask!

- 🫀

Heya 🫀!

I'm glad things are going so well with the bf!

Seems like a mildly fraught situation with the metamour. 😬 I'm sure it'll turn out fine, but not exactly a fun place to find yourself in the meanwhile.

How I would handle this situation, honestly, is to ask my boyfriend to check in on metamor and express to him you're willing to make accommodations (with examples) if it'd make her more comfortable. And that's because I would have an extremely hard time being honest about a problem if a meta asked me directly, but that may just be me... 😅

If you think you have enough rapport with your meta to ask and get an honest answer, by all means check in with her!

It helped me a lot with what jealousy I felt to have some one-on-one time with my meta. When I felt like I had my own relationship with her, it was a lot easier to light-hearted-ly make issues known (IE, "oh my god, its late, I think I gotta kick you out now" when my meta had been over for 6 hours and I was Tired™️ or "jeez, you two, there are rooms in this house you could get, you know!!") without feeling like I was... just being a bitch and raining⛈️⛈️ on their parade. I don't know if that's how your meta would feel, but just a thought!

Good luck!

[venbetta]

I’m sorry if you’re tired of reading stuff like this but I need to get this out because it has been swirling around in my mind for so long and as little as it matters I feel it’s still important enough to tell someone. A long time ago I was actually acquaintances with JFlare. I wouldn’t say friend because there was a ‘Bridge Friend’ that connected us if that makes sense. A lot of interactions I had seemed normal enough, but mostly asked him about his AU at the time, until one day Bridge Friend had messaged me to block JFlare since apparently they had a conversation and J had said he “prayed that gays would find the light”. They did not tell anything else about the conversation as far as I remember. However I did unfollow J without saying anything because at the time I had never blocked anyone and wasn’t sure what to think. The reason I wasn’t convinced was BF had some deep rooted issues too so there was a long time when I struggled with whether or not they were telling the truth and now I’m wondering if there was other things BF knew. I try not think about it because I’m pretty sure if J saw this message they’d know who sent it.

Oh??? Jeez... okay.

Anon, if you're comfortable pming me and discussing this, please do. I'll understand if you don't want to, I'm just curious to know more info if you have it. You don't have to of course.

[mirukimary]

My Art Summary for 2022!

(Under the cut I'll go into more details for each month, for memory's sake. Warning: It's LONG.)

Come one, come all for your opportunity to see all of the drawings I should have posted but never did! The ones that make me work harder every december to remember when tf i drew what! The ones that, in missing, make it seem like i only draw once a year--! (going through my twitter media tab is depressing LMAO)

JANUARY

[Pictured: Iola in Prenda clothing. There was a Twitter Post going around asking you to draw your WoL in your country's traditional clothes. Ofc I didn't skip the opportunity to do it! And drew my BF's WoL too for good measure. Still my fav drawing of the year!]

Also worked on a VTuber model for a friend (i drew it as a bust january last year; then this year was asked to expand it to full body). It was very challenging, but also fun!

For the rest, I designed some backstory NPCs for Asera (Daimyorus childhood friend, his goddess and a mage that helped us multiple times); and drew some twitch emotes for a client. Was a fresh, fun start. I remember having a lot of fun and finding that month quite relaxing.

(Goddess Rondra, Mage Rupin & elf-friend Pedro (RIP))

FEBRUARY

[Pictured: My friend's bunny boi~]

Further work was done on the VTuber model, a lot of parts that weren't quite working before were redrawn. He was taking form!! Now that most of the work was done, also did a ref sheet to go with it. I couldn't wait to see him moving!

That's when I started preparing to open commissions for realz, trying to think of prices and set up examples. I drew some BGs and the Complexity Guide, and set most of the boring things up. I plan to open comms either Jan 2023 or February 2023, so let's hope all the work paid off~

MARCH

[Pictured: 'Smile at the Blue Skies', or "Fuq i need a bust sketch ref for my commission examples page". Sounds a bit less dreamy now, huh? LMAO]

But yeah, most of the month was dedicated to the VTuber model, working to fix it as the rigger found issues. Ref Sheet was finished this month. I'll stop mentioning the model, but the back and forth lasted till june or so?? Had to fix all of his toggles; and redraw his entire hair to allow for a better 3D effect when moving (it went from 3~6 layers to over 20). This was my first time working on vtuber models, so there was A LOT to learn. It surprising how many pitfalls there is in vtuber making. I'm very proud of how it turned out, and eternally grateful to the rigger (and to my friend) for being so patient with me. I was sent a small demo of what he looks like, and seeing your drawing move so beautifully like that feels magical!! There's still much to design and draw before he can debut, but hope you can support him then!

Oh yeah, there was this attempt too:

APRIL

[Pictured: 'With Friends' the commission I worked on through March and April. Extra special because that's my friend & his pets there!]

Also sketched some ideas for illustrations of our RP characters (hi Irene), but never really completed them:

It feels so long since I made these... Double checked like 3 times to make sure it wasn't April 2021 LMAO

I REALLY want to revisit some of these now.

MAY

[Pictured: #XIVARTBASH drawing, featuring Nero.]

Also drew the catgirl from Love2DrawManga. Didn't do much this month (...or did but forgot). I believe I worked on some BGs I can't show, but these are still very much stuck at WIP :(

JUNE

[Pictured: Nia's WoL, Mat. Just a smol gift for someone that brings a lot of joy to FFXIV Twitter.]

So... I completelly forgot I was drawing my OCs outfits [facepalm]:

(Don't mind the two in the corner, I don't want my essay to get hit with Tumblr hammer LMAO They're nowhere near done). But yeah, these are my OCs from 'Elder''. I've had them since childhood, and still love them, even if I gave up on the book idea. Will make an actual post once all is done and I can go back to their character illusts uwu

JULY

[Pictured: Cade from 'Still Shining'. Working on this was an amazing experience~ Won't go on detail bc I already did, but still glad for the experience!]

Instead I'll talk about... Art Fight month!!!

SO.MUCH.FUN

I'm 100% going back next year! This event just proved how much I love drawing people's OCs. I really want to be a commission artist so I can do that for a living. Sadly I didn't get to draw everyone I wanted, plus I wasted a lot of time trying to look through OCs while the website was dying LMAO Next year I'll come prepared!

Also I drew that Spring picture to use as a reference in her profile there. I missed drawing her!

AUGUST

[Pictured: Commission for 'Under Maintenance'.]

Mostly worked on commemorative stuff. Anniversary chibi for Brie; that Under Maintenance pic; Thank You for DL message for 'Loving You Fully' and 'Still Shining'. Also designed some outfits (and painted some sprites) for Mythic Meetup: Midnight Mystery (not released yet!).

Started a bday gift for my boyfriend, but something kept looking 'off' about it so I didn't finish in time. Turns out it was overblended... And will require a redraw. Sorry boyfriend TT But my wife (tm) needs to look perfect!!

Also made the design for our new RP characters:

(mine is the not-cat girl, obviously)

...And I belive this is when I made that cursed Yshtola feeding Zero picture? Yeah.

SEPTEMBER

[Pictured: Witch Torunn]

Made the YCH bases, as well as 3 examples. I have no memories of this month, but Windows says this sketch is from september:

OCTOBER

[Pictured: Old OC redraw, for my Commission Guide. Decided to do it after a client asked for clarification if an old drawing was halfbody or fullbody (august last year, Torunn sitting down).]

They're really old OCs of mine. Ever RP-ed in Deviantart groups? I did!!

Cecilia (<-) is pretty much a Iola prototype: salve maker and potion seller who lives with her dad (who taught her the craft). One day he collapses during work, and Cecilia ends up overworking herself to afford his medicine and other living expenses. In desperation, she joins The Guild as a novice magician for money, and gets herself involved on a war she never intended to join.

Celticca (->) is a archer and aspiring musician who wants to make the most beautiful song (tm) for her family. She's very sweet, but naïve and scatterbrained. I didn't have much planned for her, but had a lot of fun seeing her constantly get involved with Evil/Neutral alligned characters w/o noticing LOL

....Now that I think about it, she's literally a FFXIV bard, before I knew anything about XIV.

The rest of October was focused on Magni's Birthday Project and my YCH Halloween Commissions.

...And THIS:

Halloween pictures of our current RP characters \O/ To go with our halloween session~ Also drew these two for our halloween one-shot:

Ellie (<-) and Hadrianus (->). Ellie is a yandere witch I made as a joke and fell in love with. Hadrianus is my BF's wizard. Yes, he looks like Dr. Strange. Yes, that's the joke. The 3rd character was Rosemary, but I didn't ask to draw her so she's missing :( I do want to draw all of them at some point. We accidentally made "Spy x Family, but it's horror and Loid wants to run away" LOOOL I love this trio!!

Made 2 adoptables, but since they went unsold I decided to remove them and redraw for next year:

(The neutral pose doesn't help them stand out ^^;; Sorry bbys)

Also sketched Julio from Atelier Sophie~

(Hoping to finish it early next year. He's not the only idea I had while playing, but other stuff took priority"")

October was so much fun!! Sadly it let me completely drained by the end of it. I got hit with such a HUGE art block it was like my hands just... Forgot how to draw. Everything came out weird. Sadly, that resulted on me having to drop a drawing I was making for Brie :/ Hoping I can pick it back up soon... (better late than never right?)

It's around that time I decided to work on an AI redraw. Used Crayon (old Dall-e Mini) to create some monstrosity for me and tried to turn it into an actual drawing.

The monstrosity:

The Work In Porgress:

This drawing is a bit painful to look at, because of all the self doubt and bad feelings attached to it. But I want to finish it someday. My prompt was something stupid like 'cute anime girl having fun'. I want to remain true to the prompt and make her meeting with lil ladybug feel warm and fun!

...Like of the feelings I was missing back then, and am just now starting to get back.

TL;DR: Take breaks or you'll break.

NOVEMBER

[Pictured: Chibi Adra for Kyou.]

Managing burnout through most of it. Eventually just decided to stop fighting and played games instead. Even with the frame drops, Atelier Ryza is pretty fun~ Hoping to go bk to it soon.

At some point my boyfriend said I should just draw things to have fun for a bit. I followed his advice...

DECEMBER

[Pictured: Art Party (DracoLunari's WoL)]

...By drawing Iola as a sheep herder. It was much more fun than it sounds. I didn't care for polish at all, just seeing Iola in a cute outfit LMAO It's... A mess of a drawing. But it's MY mess of a drawing. I feel this thought calmed my mind a lot.

Also went for my first ever Art Party. It was fun, tho brain did get in the way after a bit, as expected ^^;;; Still want to go to these more often!! It's fun to draw & chat with others.

For random drawings, all I have is a(n embarrassing) fanart of Elf from Isekai Ojisan. I'll post eventually..... (that anime is hilarious)

For now I have a commission and a collab to take care of, and a certain Moon Goddess to draw as soon as possible~ Will be doing my best these next few days, and hope Iola can be my sheperd and guide me to the path of 'having lots of fun drawing again'.

ONWARDS TO 2023...

May my year be filled with bad drawings that I love;

And good drawings I'm proud of.

May your year give you the same

And everything else you wish for!

Thanks @/Taxkha on twitter for the Template!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I need to rant. So I was seeing this guy who was supposed to be helpful today and he was so.... so much the same as everyone before him. I just told him "I have cptsd and depression and strive to get therapy as soon as possible" and time went by and I told him about the issues of getting an appartment in the city I life and he was scrolling his stuff for the address of a supported living (idk the right English term, like an orphanage for adult, mentally ill ppl). And I was like wtf I lived alone before, what's your problem??? I just don't atm because I moved and the housing situation is horrible. And I told him "I lived with my bf for years and want to continue that" (I was really hurt tbh I mean? I have some mental illnesses but I am capable of managing my life!! He doesn't know me and thinks he can decide that I am incapable of caring for myself???)

And then he said "Well, if you find an appartment with your boyfriend, he'll live there alone for some time anyway" and I was so confused and asked "why the hell" and he was like "because you'll be in psychiatry" and I was so so hurt. I was in psychiatry once, many years ago, and still get flashbacks and maybe you know the struggle of "superior ppl" (mentally healthy ppl) trying to decide for your best?? Because they know better, they are healthy!! Urg.

So I am always very cautious or one of the superior ppl might sent me somewhere against my will. So I was looking at him super confused and just said "Huh? No???" and he was surprised and said "Oh, you meant you are looking for outpatient therapy?!"

Like??? Isn't that the default???

I think I can sum my anger up with, he was convinced he knew better than I, what is good for me. Like soo many ppl before me did and look where it brought me.

Hi anon,

I'm sorry he reacted that way. It sounds like he was pretty ignorant to what it means to be mentally ill, despite acting like he was somehow more informed than you. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You and your mental health are valid.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.9.24 Monday

12:25 am

Still,have windblow...

I feel bad....17 years, 17 tears??? It is fucking unfair...

I feel bitter.... Everyone got a fuck, got a bf, had have attention without me, you guys are happy....Without me on the scene that's your happiness....17 years you guys are happy without me... All of my exes got a fuck and got married already.

Friends are guilty behind the curtain but always on the spotlight...

My request,I want to have my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x... Period and final! I want to borrow power! I hate it if they "entangle" here... I don't care, I just want him back! We can make it through....

6:04 am

Still,have windblow...

It is raining... I'm panicking... I lost my 17 years and they just dropped it like that....

Thinking of money... This is really something serious... My future and my plans....

Did Mitch do something about the "simple battery"???

6:14 am

Still, have windblow...

Drinking coffee...Today is my medical.... Early bird... Whew! I'm thinking of my future.... This is really serious...

1:11 pm

Still, have windblow...

Cheapness here... Supposed to be I'm the baby... Uncle DD changed everything here... Super tight...

I still need back-up from Ely... Done,with the medical but I still need to give my stool... Grrr... Self-pitying... I need to have a job and money, angels...

I need to get some help...

5:20 pm

Still,have windblow...

Weird! This Ms Sasa sent me a message, it is weird that I just received awhile ago... She removed me in Disney Chat which I feel something is a big joke again but I sent her a private message...

Oh! I already did my medical... Are they for real??? I need a job and money... Are these the people who are damaging me since 2007???

5:41 pm

Actually, I find Ms Sasa one of my damagers and mysterious... I just feel that way... I'm just being professional but will tell something about her in a professional way... That she is finding a mistake on me in an unfair ways...

I feel bad as well coz hating this Korean Phone which I can't do screenshots... Grrr... Stress... I really need a new phone, I'm not gonna buy a Samsung anymore coz of the "hacking issue". I'm having a hard time to explain on Ms Sasa my point of conversation but I can't do "screenshots"...

I feel stress having this Korean Samsung Phone... But I've learned to let go and move on and defend myself in a nice way...

7:51 pm

Still, have windblow...

Here in Ely's house... Explaining on my friend about Ms Sasa's act on me but as I observed she wanted me to be her "underdog" ( victim).

I just borrowed Ely's phone to defend myself here that I don't wanna argue on people having bad hearts or bad soul...

This is the issue the Ms Sasa removed me on the Disney Chat Group. But I said I just had my medical this am... Huh?

It is about that PS " If you have any questions feel free to direct message me".

Failure to comply,you will be removed in the groupchat.

Ms Sasa suddenly removed me on Disney group chat... It alarmed me... I asked her if I can still be on that group. I just acknowledge....

I think, I'm still on it coz she texted me privately that I need to finish all my requirements...

9:02 pm

For the detailed story of what happened awhile ago with Ms Sasa... But I'm still on them... Thank God and I'm thankful...

For me this is not a question... My intention is to acknowledge the message above. Other stuff I sent that on her as private message.

Then, all of a sudden I was removed in the Disney Group Chat...

Anyways, I'm still on the account and I'm glad... But it alarmed me so much awhile ago, that it made me nutzy and it was somehow crashing my ego and pride...

I think everything will be on "private message"...

9:21 pm

Still, have windblow...

Next important matter to talk about... My creditz on Ely... It is my main back-up coz my guilty friends are all gone... He is my bestfriend these days and next Jessie... I asked Ely, what am I going to do with the 10k pesoses in a lil while.. I will sing or he will wait for me to pay it on an installment, if I start to have my salary.

I said if I pay it on paper bills or money cash though installment, will not sing on him. If I sing as a symbol of buddy2x or brotherhood, I'm not gonna pay the 10k pesoses anymore.

If I sing on Ely, we need a witness coz we are brotherhood or just FRIENDS OR BUDDY2X...

We are going to be the "3 muskeeters" me, Ely and Jessie if ever...

I still need a back up if I start my work...

9:42 pm

I really wanna work angels... I want them here as my friends...

My mind is pre-occupied of the things about my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x... I don't think so that I can like someone from here except Garret but I still wanna solve the puzzle on my cousin-white. But I truly like my cousin-white and it will surely haunt me forever...

Like on the slow motion in my head the flash back of him... The very first time that I saw my cousin-white in our family reunion...When he just accidentally walked ahead on me then looked back and just staring at me for nothing and the same thing that ooppss that was cute my first cousin. My cousin-white is really cute that can heal my torn pieces in me...

There are so many pretty men here but the "Entangle Thing" of my cousin-white,I can't let it go... It feels that they unfairly smashed me.

My right eye is feeling sandy again due to stress... Weird!

I feel jealous if he actually entangled with a Filipina here... I have to ask him why?

I don't know... I don't like anyone here... Seeing no one...

But this is not my ideal life.... Though, I miss hugging someone... But I see no one... I wanna hug and I'm hugging my son-dog... I really wanna hug someone but seeing no one...

10:14 pm

My toner only night...Hmm.... On Dr.Alvin... Hmmm...

It says here avoid or be careful around the eyes, avoid the membranous areas of eyes,nostrils and mouth... It shouldn't pass through my nostrils like last week, I got a sudden headache...

11:19 pm

Still, have windblow...

Yeah! right... I applied the toner just right... It should be relaxing, it should linger like a chamomile scent on your nostrils... Last Friday, I applied too much and it went to my nostrils up to my head, suddenly had headache...

11:48 pm

Still,have windblow...

Can't sleep... I feel bitterish...

I have a mixed-up emotion... I feel jealous thinking that "entangle thing"... I just feel that it is betrayal!

I'm aging and having this "deep smile lines"....This is not my ideal life...

Did my friends do these things? The "simple battery" or Mitch did it with some friends?

[mrgreyandsue]

MrGrey and Sue - April 11th 2023

MrGrey: Hi there. I hope that you're well. You sent me your details via email.

Sue: Hi there! I'm good thanks and you? Is this John?

MrGrey: Hi, yes, how are you?

Sue: I'm good, and you?

MrGrey: I'm well thanks. So tell me more about yourself, and where are you situated exactly?

Sue: I'm 36, Indian. I will share a pic soon. I work as a masseuse and I have another small online business. I live in Cape Town and I work from there as well. Tell me about you, and may I see a pic of you please.

MrGrey: I'm originally from the UK.

Sue: Your age, race and expectations?

MrGrey: I'm 46 and she is 33. Based in the Camps Bay area. Is that convenient for you? Do you have a husband? bf? gf? We are looking for someone to join our relationship on a long term basis. What are you looking for?

Sue: [shares a pic] Camps Bay is fine, I drive, so it's okay. No I am single. I am seeing someone but he is married.

MrGrey: Oh ok. How often do you see him? What would you like to be ours?

Sue: Well my ad was advertising for an escort and a masseuse. I wasn't looking for anything more. But if you would like a long term arrangement, that's fine with me. What do you mean by "what would you like to be ours?"

MrGrey: I don't mind taking care of you financially and spoil you. How many kids do you have?

Sue: I haven't seen the married guy in weeks, but usually it would be once a week. The thought of being taken care of does sound appealing. I have 2 kids. What is your expectation? I prefer speaking bluntly and I do not scare easily.

MrGrey: I have an extremely high high drive. Looking for someone on a long term basis only to be able to manage it.

Sue: I don't mind your high sex drive. By you taking care of me, does this mean that I do not work as an escort or masseuse? Or can I continue?

MrGrey: It's your choice if you want to continue. I can provide for you more than enough financially. Do you still want to continue? Be open and honest with me.

Sue: The only reason that I opted for the escort was because the massages were quiet, so was my small business. But it's not something that I want to continue. And the reason that I do the massage is to finance my small business.

MrGrey: What is your other small business?

Sue: I sell products on an online platform. I used to work at a finance company for 10 years and resigned last year. Tell me about you

MrGrey: I have an investment company in the UK. I work with some of the major banks in SA. Been in Camps Bay for a few years. I travel alot, so hopefully that's okay with you. Where is your husband? I wouldn't want to cause any issues or drama here since this place is so quiet.

Sue: And your wife? Is she part of this arrangement?

MrGrey: She is the one that suggested it.

Sue. Ex Husband. We are divorced for 4 years. He isn't a part of my life.

MrGrey: Have you been with a couple before?

Sue: What do yo mean by this place is quiet? I haven't been with a couple but it's been on my mind. Curiosity. And I haven't been with a woman either. I'm busy alot, so my social life and dating life is non existent.

MrGrey: Camps bay is a quiet area.. the houses... hence don't want drama or issues from any ex's

Sue: Apologies will catch up soon, I have an order to take care of before 2pm. I will respond to you when I can

MrGrey: No problem

Sue: My ex doesn't even know what I do for a live. We are not close.

MrGrey: Let me not disturb you. You message me when you are free

[journallingweeks]

feelings

My feelings towards my family members are so complex that I feel I'll live to deeply regret saying them out loud if anything were to happen to those family members, but not saying them or voicing them I believe, after reading, is literally bad for my health.

My complex relationship with my mom: I feel she is solely focused on her own life and our relationship is similar to that of really good friends - her love language is gifts, as is mine, so when she does this for me I am deeply deeply touched, and feel guilty for everything I've ever said. But at the same time, growing up we weren't given nutritious dinners - most nights we were getting food from the Deli or Joop - I often remember my uniform being stained and having a pile of clothes that I couldn't face on my bedroom floor - she could grow cold or distant when she was upset and could snap unexpectedly - she let me down a lot during college, when my friend died, or when everyone else's parents drove up often and sent up meals or made a fuss of their 21st, or helped them to learn to drive or encouraged them to begin at least - she knew I worked 40 hour weeks during the summers to pay for fees, whilst on 65 grand a year - finding out she had been purposely hiding this info from me, because in turn, I'd realise how far away we were from government funding, something I was trying to organise out of desperation for weeks. In college I sat in our year head's office crying because I had found out that day that my fees were going to be €200 more and that amount of money was colossal to me at the time- and I realised I simply couldn't pay them and had no-one to turn to. €200. It hurts that she hasn't shown much interest in seeing my bf's place that I'm moving into, or the attic in my sisters two summers ago that I spent weeks of my life renovating. It hurt when I came home from travelling for 3 months and the fridge was empty. It hurts to think how freely she'd bitch about my dad, taking full reign to turn us against him - realising in hindsight how skewed that perspective is - the hoarding being a massive issue that she won't face. Making out to be a monster and attempting to open up about my parent's sex lives which is so ridiculously out of my depth and something I'd literally hate to get into - the fact I even need to shut that down and tell her its a boundary is bizarre. The fact my sister, was 13 going out with a 19 year old, and when he gets exposed as a sex offender years later, she announces she feels sympathy for him.

the beautiful things about my mom! I love her so much. In some ways I have felt I will probably never love someone as much again. It is unconditional and I literally can not imagine my life without her. I feel like bawling my fucking eyes out when I think of her as a young girl, or on her wedding day or as a 13 year old. Or her relationship with our dog, or how much she'll miss her dad forever. She still wells up when she speaks of him and he died in 2017. She is softly spoken with tiny hands and shoulders. She loves crafts, music, art, scary films, milky tea, fantasy, shopping, going for coffees, her sister. She is a sensitive soul and emotional being. She will surprise me with my favourite lip balms and orders from cult beauty and hot water bottles. She will thoughtfully remember things I've mentioned in passing and loves to surprise. She loves trinkets and things. She has a stack of books higher than her bedside table next to her bed. She loves lavender and lemon. She is more gentle than I'll literally every be, in the way she moves and talks and thinks. She ADORES the cinema and fiction in general - 'anything escapist'. She's a feminist. When I was a teenager, and I had terrible mental health, she really really tried for me. She moved me out of a school I hated and absolutely fucked my least favourite teacher out of it, not only in person but following up with a scathing, well-articulated letter. She encouraged my artistic side by buying me paints and colours every Christmas. She made a massive effort for Christmas to be special - to keep the magic alive in it - we'd go to Blarney Woolen Mills after school and get Butler's hot chocolate there. She'd take us to Fota Christmas even as adults! We'd watch love actually by the fire with the dog. She has a great sense of humour - slightly dark and would throw her head back laughing at things. She has a secret language with her sister seemingly - that they can only understand. She loves to sing and has a beautiful voice. I love her so much. She makes an amazing milky coffee. If someone I met told me I was just like my mom, I would be so flattered. She wearings beautiful craft earrings with a matching printed coat and dress with clogs of some sort - stunning blue eyeliner with the cutest bob haircut and a fringe, always. Sometimes, in casual wear, she'll wear a low tiny bun, gold sleeper earrings and an oversized sweatshirt and it is so effortlessly beautiful. She uses her tiny hands when she's speaking or telling a story. I love her so much

[irishsong]

This is a blogging website, for once I'm going to blog.

A month ago, I decided to turn my life upside down and rattle it.

Firstly, I went to Chicago for the first time. I'm from Wisconsin, and I'd never been to Chicago before. I was going to a Hozier concert, and my boyfriend couldn't come because he was swamped with school work. I was almost relieved. See, I had been having doubts about our relationship which hadn't gone away. It was my first serious relationship and I wasn't in love. There were a lot of things that made me feel like it wasn't the right fit, but he was such a nice guy, so I didn't know if I should really throw away the relationship.

So I wen to Chicago with 2 of my friends from work who I also play D&D with and we had the best girls' day I've had in a while. Through talking, I found out that pretty much everyone I know thinks I have queer vibes in a cottage core way, and that I really did want out of my relationship. We walked around the aquarium (over priced but they have beluga whales), walked to a nearby park, hung out, and eventually went to stand in line for the concert, 3 or 4 hours early. You can spot the Hozier crowd by the fact that everyone is wearing glitter, flower crowns, jean jackets, and combat boots.

We got in line in a patch of sun, and sat down. The girls behind us were pregaming the show with vodka and cranberry juice, and they were fun to eaves-drop on, but the really interesting part was who came after them. A man walked past, tall, with fluffy hair and good features and the whole line (of mostly women) all got quiet as he walked past. The guy, if seen out of the corner of your eye, looked like Hozier. It was not Hozier, lol.

My boyfriend says I can make friends with anyone anywhere, and where better to put that to the test than in the line camping. So I introduced myself.

Guys and gals, Let me tell you. Rebounds are some crazy psychological shit. There should be more songs about how getting out of one relationship will make you crave another one, especially if you're the one who did the breaking up. I fell hard for this guy I met, got his instagram, and I didn't know how to be normal. It was as if God had made the perfect guy for me. He was a musician, he was handsome, I found out he liked to cook and that he'd sewn Elizabethan costumes for the renaissance faire. He was soft spoken, nice, a hugger. The only issue was that he was too busy for me.

I was injecting myself into his life as a speed I couldn't control, and I knew I should slow down, but then I caught covid! So I was stuck at home, freshly out of a relationship because I'd broken up with my bf the day after the concert.

The timing was horrible. Or cosmic. Definitely unfair. That I would find an incredible guy and not be able to handle it properly. I over texted him. I wanted too much of his time and I know that if he doesn't have time for me or make time for me, then he isn't the one for me but I didn't want to believe that. I wanted to live in this beautiful fantasy that had bloomed around me when I met him that I we could be partners and I could be his someone and he mine. That I could braid his hair and we'd make beautiful music for the rest of our lives.

I wanted him to know me. I wanted him to want to know me and he didn't. Not really. He was nice to me, not really asking questions, just answering the ones I had for him.

I wanted to be someone's someone. To be their first and last thought of the day. To be the person they sent funny pictures to. To feel a glow when I'm around them. And eventually, I will find that.

But I met a cute guy at a concert, and he didn't meet a cute girl.

And now I'm thinking I'd like to learn to play guitar.

[blackopallpastawarrior]

Hello! I sent you a few anons regarding my relationship a while back, (I think it was a few months ago?? I don’t rlly remember how long) my bf and I mutually decided to break up. most of the issues i mentioned before were still there, as well as some toxic traits of my own that he brought up to me (for good reason, i’m now in therapy working on myself so it was for the best)

I already really miss him, and I still want him in my life as we are both actively communicating that we’re doing the work to better ourselves.

If i’m recalling correctly i remember you saying you weren’t in contact with your ex at the time (Again sorry if I’m remembering incorrectly!) I’m looking for advice and as before I don’t really have anyone irl that i feel comfortable talking with about this-

Based on your experience, do you think you’d ever be able to be friends with your ex or have them in your life? Especially as time passes and people change I’m wondering for myself what the future will hold with me and my ex- We obviously need time apart but I think if we both work on ourselves we could at least be friends again. It seems we had a similar experience, so i wanted to ask how you feel about that relating to your experience? I’m sorry if this is too personal also, as i said before i just don’t really know who to talk to about this.

Hello anon!

First off, let me congratulate you on starting therapy. That's a very good step into bettering yourself and potentially becoming happier/more fulfilled/reaching your goals.

Secondly, unfortunately this is where our stories differ, my dear anon. I am unable to have my ex re enter my life, due to the fact that our relationship went beyond toxic and nosedived straight into emotional/mental abuse (meaning my ex abusing me) as I have learned recently. Where your ex is still communicating with you about ways that he is attempting to change for the better, mine is only interested in seeming like he is- he messaged me recently on an app I forgot to block him on with a very disturbing message (I am not in danger, it was disturbing in other ways) that reminded me just why I no longer have them in my life.

As for my advice to you-

Continue working on yourself, separate from him. Grow more interests. I'm not sure how much you are communicating with him from your ask- but you may want to re-evaluate how often it is, and how beneficial your conversations really are to you. This is not to say stop talking to him completely!! Only reinforcing your other relationships outside of him and any mutual associations you two might have.

If you two can be friends again in the future? Excellent! Make sure you give it enough time, and even if the possibility for dating again exists, please don't jump back into it. And if you are friends, keep a close eye on your dynamic so as to prevent it becoming toxic again.

Good luck my friend! Feel free to message me again if you so desire :)