#and a) that's more than fair ESPECIALLY when it comes to the catholic church and criticizing bureaucracy≠criticizing faith

[navree]

under the weather and re-reading his dark materials, never gonna understand how tf certain religious people get so mad at the critique of the organizations of religion in certain fictional works

[unhonestlymirror]

Lithuania: Oh, Giedrė would love this salad.

Czech: Who's Giedrė?

Lithuania: ...my 7th wife.

Czech:

Hungary: Your what

Germany: But I don't remember anyone from us having such a name?? Do we have a new state? I'm not teaching you, but don't you think it's a bit weird to marry a micronation for an old state like you?..

Lithuania: *sigh* She was mortal.

Everyone at the lunch table:

Ireland: Wait, wait, let me guess it - your 7th wife was mortal? Just like all the previous ones?

Lithuania:

Belgium: Jesus Christ.

Italy: Looks like someone forgot to tell him that having a relationship with mortals is a moveton in our little community...

Scotland: Lmao, I knew that guy never gave up on polygamy.

Lithuania, smiling with hidden irritation: I am sure we have more interesting topics to talk about than my 12 mortal wives, who were NOT married on me all at the same time, God rest their souls.

England: I agr-

France: NO, WE DON'T! I NEED to know everything about your 12 mortal wives, my dear Lituanie, right now!

Greece: Yeah, I'm also interested, like, dude, why did you decide that marrying mortals so many times is gonna be a good idea? At least you could have just making them your lovers, nothing more, why to put so much effort

France: You know that we can't have human children anyway :P

England: No one asked your opinion, orgies organizer

France: You're not a saint either, Mr. Le Bordel🖕🖕🖕

Lithuania: At first, I did that not out of romantic feelings and absolutely nor for sex. Poland had demanded that I must have married him in order to establish Commonwealth better. Although the pact was already legal, I wasn't ready for that, especially considering that the Catholic Church doesn't allow divorce... I didn't want to lose my independence completely, I didn't want to kill Poland to break the possible marriage because that would be really gross, considering that it was me who came to Poland first, I've lost Ruthenia and Smalensk by my own stupidity. Being on the peak of my power, I've fallen down like Lucifer. The day before, I was an empire, and the next day, I was nothing but a colony. I was miserable, and I had no right to complain. But one day, a woman approached me in a pub and asked me half-jokingly: "Doesn't your mother need a daughter-in-law?" And then it dawned on me. "Actually, she does," I answered. We got married the next day. The problem was delayed because, thankfully, Catholicism can't stand polygamy.

Lithuania: I can't say I've fallen in love with Milda at first sight, but she made my life less miserable.

Sweden: And she never questioned why her husband never got old?

Lithuania: Well, she never complained. 😆 As well as the others... *blushes a little*

Liechtenstein: I suppose it hurt when she died...

Lithuania: It always hurts when someone who lives in your heart dies. At least, she was gone with peace. I made sure she was buried properly.

Lithuania: That's when I've realised I didn't want to come to the empty house for eternity.

Lithuania: Later, I've usually tried to marry widows or single mothers: someone who was the outcast for society and who wasn't really able to protect themselves. I've thought it was not fair. After all, I can't just wander around like a ghost, if I am the personification of my people, at least I could have tried to make someone’s life a bit easier. To some extent, I perceived it as a sacrifice for Milda.

Japan: I'd say you have a fetish if only what you're telling didn't sound so sad.

Bulgaria: At least, the children could be proud of their vampire step-father! :D

Romania: Bulgaria, shut up. Just the mention of vampires makes me sick.

Finland: If you watched your wife dying every time, no wonder you seemed so depressed.🫂

Lithuania: 🫂

Lithuania: So I've come through the Commonwealth partition and russian empire, but the tradition remained.

Everyone: *silence, many have watery eyes*

France: 😭😭😭

England: You're the weirdest freak of Europe. After France. No offence.

France: Ugh, what can a cold-heart like you know about the pain of true love loss😭😤😡 This man's married 12 TIMES! TO MORTALS! You could never.

Lithuania: Well, sex was also nice.

Czech: Ew.

Greece: Now that's our guy🤌🤌🤌🤌

Latvia, completely unimpressed: Well, if to be accurate, 13 times if to count his marriage with his sister.

Lithuania: It was PURELY POLITICAL, SHORT-LASTING and it was A SHAM MARRIAGE, to receive funding from the Vatican and save our land from Teutonic Order invasions, you little shit💢 I've never felt anything more than platonic respect to her

France: I NEED DETAILS!!! :D

Bulgaria: A little bit of Monica in my liiife, a little bit of Erica by my siiiide

Latvia: A little bit of Rita's all I need, a little bit of Tina's what I see

Bulgaria: A little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long

Latvia: A little bit of Jessica, here I am, a little bit of you

Together: makes me your man!!

Lithuania: I'm going home.

[possibilistfanfiction]

i love how ava’s being very anti instution is clear in your stuff, i feel like some fics forget that about her or in trying to show that beatrice knows her stuff accidentally make it come across as if ava isn’t politically aware & needs to be lectured on politics by Beatrice

when canonically ava’s literally a abuse survivor who was abused because of her disability and had religion used as justifiation for her abuse and so is kinda more than a little against institutions and systems

anyway as a disabled person it’s more than a bit exhausting to read “abled person lectures disabled person on politics” regardless of authorial intent, so just wanted to say thanks for staying away from that, reading your ava characterization is really a breath of fresh air

absolutely! ava is so so so smart!! most gaps she has, at least for me canonically, are because she just didn't have access to any sound schooling (obviously — especially with history, but also just basic civics? exposure to different politic? etc). so it's like, of course ava wouldn't know that the nazis persecuted & killed queer people if she learned subpar history (undoubtedly with the shittiest pedagogy on the planet) from nuns who hated her — but once she learns it, she's immediately like oh. that contextually makes sense in a horrible way. fuck them. like it's not an issue of politic but just of nuanced & additional information — in the real world i'm sure ava's politic would (of course) grow (as hopefully all of ours irl continue to do lol), but it wouldn't be a real shift in politic, especially bc of an able-bodied person lecturing her or something. it would just be one that contains more concrete events, history, current povs, etc, because she would just learn more & have access to stuff!

i also think like you said that when bea lectures in the show, that's mostly about ava just being goofy when she needs to be serious, or definitely just not understanding the insane situation she's found herself in — which contextually is fair, but i don't think would happen with politic or ethic sort of beyond the halo/battles, etc. even her like 'you should think about someone other than yourself' is mostly motivated by ava's mission/the ocs's mission; ava is selfish but she has every right to be. & of course that's ava's main character arc growth: realizing that, while she always wants to be selfish (kissing bea), she has been put into a role that is far greater than her. that's a politic in itself, really

in reality bea probably has more to learn about politic & anti-state ethic than ava lol. i get why this isn't A Thing in the show but if i choose to throw them into NOT the catholic church lol, it's a reality that bea is a queer woman of color, specifically an asian woman, which does matter — in ways that can hurt but also in finding community & history that informs/builds a particular politic. i feel like it's incomplete to not at least include that a LITTLE. but yah bea like... rly fucks w The Institution at least for some of the show. she's got a lot to unlearn!

& yes i TOTALLY agree that ava's abuse & disability (even if people choose to write her as no longer disabled which.... a choice but ok lol) would absolutely eventually really inform her politic. i simply haven't gotten to this yet but ava finding disability justice (& by that i obviously mean like intersectional disability justice led by & designed for queer & trans folks, especially qtpoc) would be so fucking cool for her! communal care? anti-state abolition? abolition of Institutions (psychiatric, medical, etc) that harm that are rooted in white supremacy (& specifically the church)... she would LOVE it. she would be so into it. it would be such a respite & passion & joy for her as she got older & realized she has such purpose through her experiences, without the halo & without any holy wars. also they would both be thoughtful about thinking transnationally which rocks.

anyway yah i feel like out of the two of them ava is actually the most likely to like a) access information in "non-academic" ways; b) have a more radical politic just inherently. not that i think bea is like a shitty neoliberal person forever or anything bc... she would also be v smart, but ava is awesome.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

There's something about the Unburied spin off bringing in Jean Paul/Azrael right when you're reading through his comic appearances. Is there something you like about his characterisation in it or is it all bad?

the timing is BANANAS I cannot escape from this man!

but to answer your question like genuinely NO and it's because Jean-Paul doesn't really like... HAVE a characterization in Secrets in the Dark? or rather, he does, but that's not. that's not Jean-Paul.

like JP having no prior personal connection to Batman before he starts vigilante-ing is weird, and so is him apparently just deciding to go rogue as Azrael rather than being conditioned into it from childhood by his dad and the order, but the way he's set up as having been an uptight religious extremist from an early age is really where I draw my line on this one. hello hi, he MAIMED is roommate?? pre-Azrael Jean-Paul was Literally Just Some Guy! he was studying computer science, man! he was not a violent dude, all of that comes from the system and the hell training he got after his dad was murdered! idk, it really seems like the writers got the cliffsnotes on Azrael and just ran with "religious Batman who kills people" without wanting to look any deeper into what actually drives the character.

JP is filling kind of a similar role as Cornelius Stirk did in Unburied; they're both filling the role of being the most initially visible antagonist who presents an initial problem to solve but is actually being controlled by something way more convoluted than simple homicide. but even though Stirk is ultimately just a tool for Ivy, he gets a relatively large amount of development as a person! especially through listening to his sessions with Strange, you really get to see how he was pushed further and further into embracing his worst delusions and homicidal cannibal tendencies and how he got warped into being a tool for Strange and Ivy to use; it makes him a lot more sympathetic and shows how his vulnerabilities were exploited by the corruption within Arkham. it fits very well in a series that's surprisingly sympathetic to its rogues - Eddie being an unambiguously sympathetic victim of police framing and brutality, Batman apologizing to Tut for the medical abuse he experienced, Ivy herself starting out as a victim of abuse and sexual harrassment and ultimately abandoning her plan when she's won over with the power of gay love. the only villain in Unburied who DOESN'T get any humanizing moments at all, in my opinion, is Strange, and that's because he was a man who was 100% in a position of power over the people he was hurting and get that narrative sympathy.

Secrets in the Dark has kind of a weird moment of trying to have its cake and eat it too. it wants to make textual a lot of those more subtly presented ideas about criminals as people that started in Unburied, with Eddie repeatedly emphasizing the injustice of society looking away from convicted felons and treating their lives as expendable, while also like. presenting Azrael as a one-dimensional religious zealot who gets almost no interiority and is easily manipulated by other characters at pretty much every turn. (which is extra wild because like??? HELLO. if we wanted to continue that theme of exploring wrong committed by people in power, the Catholic church was a GREAT place to do that!) and there just doesn't really seem to be a satisfying stance on that other than, I guess, the Riddler is the POV character, so the murderers that he likes are fine but the one he doesn't like is fair game.

I uuuuuuuh had more feelings about this than I thought I was going to when I sat down to type this actually. justice for my boy Jean-Paul, that wasn't him.

[elismor]

A little while ago, @deewithani and I made a pact to write some reader-insert smut. I'm so proud of us for following through--it would have been super easy to chicken out.

Here's a link to hers When the Snow stops Falling (Mayday x F Reader) on tumblr

And here's mine Dating is Overrated (Rex x F reader) on AO3

Because this was an exercise for me, I wanna talk about it a little. Feel free to ignore my ramblings in favor of just reading the porn above. S'all good.

Even though I have been writing fic for many, many years, I am new to smut. My first foray into it was only last month (and can be found here (AO3) if you care (Thire/OFC Jedi)) and I've been noodling on other pieces of it in private. Just to see if I could do it in a way that I found remotely believable. Smut is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I am awed by the folks who turn out quality in quantity.

Doing it as reader-insert was very difficult and I think that was largely because of the fact that the Catholics got me early and there is still an underlying sense of...venial sin deep in my subconscious. Which is to say...I found writing 3rd person smut embarrassing and 2nd person...mortifying.

And that made me wonder if that is why a lot of people have trouble with Reader Insert as a genre--because there is no getting around the fact that the word YOU appears in the middle of some pretty dirty stuff and even if you say you read them with an outside perspective...you still have to do the mental gymnastics to get around the POV.

And I also wonder if the POV make it more jarring when something happens in the fic that is not your personal jam or even something that you find sexually repulsive. Like...I recently read some Cody/Rex that contained some stuff that I was like "NO thank you, skim skim skim"...but I wonder if I would have had a more visceral reaction to it if the same acts were occurring in a Cody/F reader (or Rex/F Reader for that matter).  Go on Codes, put your fingers there for Rex, but try it with me and you're gonna pull back a stump? Maybe.

Is there some sort of consent-based hangup maybe? I can't quite figure out how to phrase it...but I think there might be something inherent to the understanding that (in the Cody/Rex example above, anyway) everyone is consenting to what's going on but if I (as a reader) am put in place of Rex and would not consent to a particular thing, suddenly the act is extremely NOT okay and that kicks me right out of the fic entirely.

In some ways, I thought it was a little easier to describe things in 2nd POV. I'm not sure why, exactly...maybe because I didn't have to do the mental gymnastics of passing the descriptions out of my brain and into the character in question--to describe them in ways ways that the character might. Of course, that sensation is immediately countered by the thought that omg people might think this is ME I am writing about and...back to church for elis.

There also seems to be a pervasive belief that all RI is poorly written. I have been reading a fair amount of RI fic in the past few weeks in an effort to understand it more and I think my ultimate conclusion that it's no better or worse than any other genre in that regard. Some of it is pretty bad. But some is really incredibly well crafted. 

There is a sense of...immediacy in it that is sometimes lacking in 3rdPOV and I like that. Though...it [the immediacy] might also come from the fact that a lot of it seems to be written in present tense. Not sure.

Anyway. I enjoyed it as an exercise and think it's good to try to stretch personal boundaries when it comes to writing. Not sure if I will ever do it again, but I'm not ruling it out. I don't have a a real sense of how successful I was at the task, but it was worth the effort, I think.

I'd love to hear thoughts on this (the topic, not my relative success or lack thereof)(though, if you wanna talk about that...sure) from anyone who cares to share. Maybe especially @deewithani if she is willing.

[crispyblonde]

** This will likely continue to expand with further development. This verse is closed to @azrahel and my Mick Davies on @bleakfated. Other than that it is fair game to other characters **

Seasons 10/11

Before Metatron was broken out of Heaven, he convinced one of the angels that were still partial to his side to resurrect souls that had been important to the Winchesters. Metatron had a sinking feeling that the Winchesters and Castiel would come back for him and he wanted to have some leverage. Naturally, Jess became one of those souls as she was one that Ash had taught to break out of her section of Heaven and was often found in Ash's Heaven that only consisted of The Roadhouse. The souls being yanked out of Heaven hadn't gone unnoticed and the angel was quickly killed for their crimes against the new order of Heaven. Around this same time, with the help of Bobby, Metatron is taken back to Earth and loses his grace, thus losing any potential to use those he resurrected against them because he no longer had any allies.

Jessica woke up at her headstone in San Francisco. Terrified of what this meant, she quickly worked on fleeing the city in the off chance that anyone she had known in her human life would see her, especially her parents or sister. Little did she know that her parents now lived in Palo Alto and her sister was attending Stanford Law School. She bummed a ride off of a guy to Concord, at which point she ran off while he was inside a gas station. Having no idea how many years had passed since her death, Jessica was terrified of the potential of being brought back by demons to be used against Sam. She found her way to a Catholic church in hopes that she could remain safe there. The taunting of the demon inside of Tyson Brady had come back to her in waves. As he pulled the knife out of his chest, unbothered, he had let her know that she didn't stand a chance against him without salt, iron, or a devil's trap.

If that were the case, she needed a vessel to steal some holy water in and maybe something iron to protect herself, because she was still far too close for comfort to where it was most likely others would recognize her. She stole a water bottle off of a bike chained up outside of a coffee shop and quietly took some holy water from another church. It was at this moment that an unknown woman appeared not too far from Jessica. Azrael, the angel of death, was investigating why souls had been taken from Heaven. At first, Jessica immediately assumed danger and the idea of dying again with the potential of being intercepted on her way back to Heaven terrified her almost as much as being used as a bargaining chip against Sam. When the angel assured her that she didn't mean her any harm, Jessica relaxed enough for little bits of her personality to shine through and Azrael took a quick liking to her.

After this, Azrael assured Jess that she would help her get on her feet... but this turned into a rather strong friendship. Hunting came pretty easily with an angel by her side, but Jessica honed up her self-defense skills and knowledge of the supernatural. Azrael would often need to return to Heaven or solve other crises and this left Jessica with some time to integrate herself into the hunting community. Sometimes with other hunters, she would give her main alias name Vanessa, but she became more comfortable with some of them to give her her first name alone. Sporadically, she would spend some time at The Crossroads and became pretty friendly with Teddy and Cam, sometimes taking cases with them when Azrael was away on business. They were a few of the hunters that she had grown to trust, but she still wouldn't let on to anyone about her true identity other than Azzie who had obviously figured it out on her own.

Nightmares had plagued her since the moment she had first been brought back, mostly about her death and demons at first, but they quickly developed into ones about Sam. Were they no longer compatible because of how much they had both changed since 2005? Would he not want her as a memory of not being able to escape the hunting life for one that was normal? Had he met someone else, maybe a hunter that was way more badass than she could ever dream to be? Even the thought of him having met someone else and being ready to drop them for Jess made her feel sick to her stomach. Ultimately, all of these thoughts messed with her head enough to believe that leaving Sam in the dark about her resurrection would be what was best for both of them, so whenever she did go to The Crossroads, she made sure to message Cam or Teddy to see who had been around.

Season 12

About two years after Azrael and Jessica had become friends, they were on a case when they met Mick Davies. Mick had picked up hunting in the American fashion after he had not returned to the British Men of Letters compound where he knew they would kill him for breaking the code. He was a bit clumsy as a hunter, after being part of the brains of the operation of the BMOL for so long, so Azrael and Jessica were already in town when he had gotten there. The man was rather terrified of getting caught, because he knew they would have other members on the case of finding him to make sure he met his demise. Azrael and Jessica took a liking to him and promised to help keep him safe from what little of his story he was willing to share at first. After a month of being on the road together, Azrael was made aware of the carnage that took place when American hunters had stormed the compound.

If the agents weren't killed, they fled back to England. Doctor Hess was confirmed among the dead. It was at this time that Mick felt comfortable enough to use the key that he had to unlock all Men of Letters bunker. He knew where all of them were located because he had brought out the information on the defunct chapter as they set their eyes on the Winchesters from overseas. They settled in to the bunker in Missoula, Montana. Mick and Jessica developed a playfully friendly bond and the three were all pretty honest with each other. Jess had told Mick about who she was and that she was resurrected and Mick had let her know that it seemed that Eileen Leahy and Sam had some sort of romantic bond at least starting to form. This was something he quickly came to regret, because it only solidified Jessica's decision to not tell Sam about her further. Mick had grown to like the Winchesters and would often try to prod Jessica into changing her mind, because he believed that Sam deserved to know.

Season 13+

The tranquility of having a real home base only lasted for a few moments, however. A few weeks after settling in the Men of Letters bunker, Arthur Ketch picked the same bunker to regroup himself. He had found out from Doctor Hess before her death that she had gotten information on Mick from Crowley. He was paling around with an archangel, Azrael, the angel of death. Completely separate from the organization himself because they demanded he returned, he had started hunting under the alias Alexander after he had been resurrected from getting killed by the Winchesters with his resurrection seal. It became apparent that the bunker was lived in and he quietly made his way to the garage and made some noise, attracting the attention of Azrael and Mick. Rather effortlessly, he lit a match and trapped Azrael in the ring of holy oil he had made.

When Mick rushed at him, he rendered him unconscious and tied him up to watch the show as he strapped Azrael to a chair with straps etched with angel depowering and suppressing sigils. For a few moments, he considered killing both of them, but it didn't really seem fitting. He wanted Mick to suffer for being a weak point in their plans against the Winchesters. Instead, he decided that archangel grace was something that would come in handy in a lot of ways. For a few painstaking hours, he removed Azrael's grace with grace extracting syringes. The rest of the grace was extracted through a cut to the throat into a vial. This was a very painful process and the tortured screams of Azrael were enough fuel for Mick to break free of the binds placed on him. The two men fought it out for a long while, leaving the bunker in a state of disrepair. Eventually, Mick lost the fight and Ketch left the bunker after telling Mick that he hoped he enjoyed the rest of his pathetic existence.

Jessica was not home this night and instead had been staying in a motel in Smith Center to spend a few days at The Crossroads to unwind and catch up with some of her hunter friends. When she returned home, she immediately knew something was wrong when she saw a ring of soot left in the garage of the bunker. Gun drawn, she made her way inside the bunker screaming for Azrael and Mick. The scene she was met with only further twisted her stomach as the bunker was in a complete state of disarray. Shattered glass, knocked over bookcases, and broken chairs were scattered everywhere. A rather beaten up Mick left his bedroom to meet her, telling her to stop screaming because Azrael needed her rest. He did too, but he told Jess about all that had happened when she was gone. Distraught, Jess tried to pick up what she could while Mick worked on adding a secondary lock to the bunker's entrances.

When Azrael and Mick both felt well enough to travel, they set their sights on the bunker in Roswell, New Mexico. This bunker became their primary place of residence, but they would stay at the Missoula bunker as well when they were more northern. Mick and Azrael got a lot closer in the time that Azrael was human and with a lot of goading form Jess, they began dating. What she hadn't thought about was that she would become the third wheel. It didn't bother her, most of the time, but sometimes it made her heart ache for Sam. Mick had since stopped pushing her toward telling Sam after a particularly large blow-up by Jess. Her visits to The Crossroads became a bit more frequent and she hooked up with some hunters from time to time, usually one night stands apart from Cameron Ambrose. They entered a friends with benefits sort of relationship and he would sometimes stay at the bunker after a case before heading back to Smith Center.

The three remained a trio, hunting and taking time off between the two bunkers, both with secondary locking systems and more updated technology for nearly a year without incident. Mick and Jess helped Azzie adjust to a human life and they were all a little more cautious with the cases they took. During this time, Mick helped Jess learn how to document accurate information about the supernatural on a website for hunters, complete with the vast amount of information the British Men of Letters had compiled. However, this all came to an end when Dean Winchester himself knocked on the bunker. He and Ketch had witnessed humans being lined up for slaughter by the angels in the apocalypse world and as a sign of good faith Ketch had given him Azrael's grace and told him where to find her. The three were at the Missoula bunker at the time, but with the secondary lock, Dean was unable to get inside.

Jolted into action by the sound of banging on the door, Mick and Azzie answered it with their guns drawn. Jessica was about to join in investigating the disturbance when she heard Mick say Dean's name. That made her run back to her room and quietly shut the door. Azrael was given back her grace and agreed to help fight in the apocalypse world, because the humans deserved peace from the onslaught of misery the angels were inflicting on that world. The mere thought of angels lining up humans for slaughter infuriated her. Mick agreed to help as well and they traveled back to the main bunker in Kansas. Jess on the other hand was completely torn on what to do, but she eventually joined in on this fight as well when apocalypse Michael was brought to their universe.

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

My father is not a church going man -- I don't know if he believed God but not church even. (The man was a damn vault when it came to information.)

And so we had my best friend, a Methodist pastor, which is what we all supposedly were (well maybe not my brother, he was never baptized or confirmed, and only involved in church for 6 weeks when my mother decided joining a friend who was very religious in service and youth group was an appropriate punishment for thinking about shoplifting -- he needed a refresher on the Commandments was her reasoning and the friend would make sure he paid attention and participated. One of her better moments as far as I was concerned, it was inspired) and ex Catholic priest. So the man knew his shit.

But he never really knew my dad despite his daughter being my best friend for 8 years. We didn't do family shit, and I didn't talk about him even after we connected -- like I said, he was a vault and I respected that instinctively I guess.

So the pastor had to ask us about him as a person. Now my mother should have been able to answer, they'd spent 26 years together and she loved him in a sick way. But all we could come up with was banal shit like his love of football.

And now at the oddest times, it strikes me what I could have said, should have said. That he'd take your secrets to the grave no matter how mad he got or how much he disliked you. That he could always calm me down in the most counter intuitive yet most effective way -- get even madder than I was at someone and my sense of fairness would kick in and I'd defend them, losing my anger and seeing their side. That he never made me feel like a disappointment even when yelling at me. That he never seemed to mind when I'd talk for hours or tune me out, even though he wasn't much of a talker for his own preferences. That he understood me when no one else did. That he spent his last hours in and out of anathesia, but every time he surfaced in recovery he apologized, and only later did I realize he meant for his failings rather than how he always apologized for falling asleep in chemo worried I'd be bored after giving up my whole day to sit with him. (Silly man, I brought books.) That he had the best work ethic i ever saw. That he meant every promise he made but just wasn't well enough to keep them. That he'd do anything for anyone, because he had the biggest heart. So much more.

That day, I missed everything that mattered, everything i wish everyone knew, especially those who never truly saw him.

So now maybe you'll see. And you'll know. Because he deserves to be remembered for the good and enough people already remember the bad.

[eight-twenty]

Most days in my head i am a coming of age main character in a county in Ireland; smoking cigarettes i hate, with fringe bangs too short, a mentality too mature for people my age, still swallowed by catholic guilt. And this is an entry to her diary.

This is a work of fiction—a creative exercise if you will—and I mean no disrespect to the Irish language, I admire it so much in fact. Sure I only sound more defensive saying that.

———————————

3rd Sunday of August.

Ah, today’s a Sunday, but I dodged church, blaming it on period cramps, much to me mother’s dismay. I haven’t missed it yet. Not technically as I’m writing this. Ma’s always keen on being an hour early to church. She already left. Normally she would have called out my bluff and would’ve said a homily’s worth about how the Lord only asks an hour of my day. But today she surprisingly was calm about the idea of her only daughter potentially heading to hell.

I’m feeling to knackered to practice my faith today—I haven’t been devout for long. It shouldn’t be so exhausting to sin, considering I’m less Catholic by the day. Should feel less buggered to Skip holy the Sabbath day. Bah. It’s more sin to be a hypocrite in church. If anything, I should feel less guilty about it.

I only go church to please me Ma. Sorry, God, but I reckon I worship me mother more, even if we rarely see eye to eye. We don’t necessarily fight. But we don’t also talk about boys I fancy over a cup of tea. My mother is a fucking saint. So regardless of me being a good daughter by the book (really good grades, no drugs, home by reasonable hours, hormones in control, etc.), I am always a hair out of place closer to hell in her standards. This week most especially.

Me mother found me pack of cigarettes. She did not know I’ve been smoking—at least not in her presence just yet. She found it while she was sorting my pile of clothes for laundry last Friday. I forgot I stashed one in the front pocket of my jacket. Could’ve blamed it on Madison (Ma always thought I was too good to be her friend), but I was too exhausted to lie. I feel the disappointment in her, the way she placed it on me bedside table (placed, not thrown. On the table, not garbage bin) and walked out of the room (she did not close the doors, she did not also slam it shut).

The pack is there on the table exactly the way she left it. Pretty sure there was a lighter in the pockets. Wonder what she has done with that. If she used it to burn my clothes, fair enough. But they’re drying under the sunlight outside. I’m not sure if her disappointment stems from the idea of her daughter trying to kill her self with every pack smoked or if she’s disappointed because I turned out to be just like me dad.

I don’t even like smoking because it reminds me of dad. I don’t even think it’s cool. I am not trying to be poetic about it. But I hate being stuck in social situations more, and the excuse to smoke has been my only reprieve. I guess I’d literally rather off myself than admit I hate going out with me mates. There’s a difference between hating the social situations you’re forced to be in to fit in versus hating the people. I love ‘em, but rather unfortunate or me that their idea of having fun involves a dance floor and bursting one’s eardrums out. Like me faith I guess, I do believe in a being bigger than me (than all of us), but do I really have to display it so dutifully in pews and choir songs.

I’ve been using smoke breaks as an excuse to break away from it all while still participating to be part of the gang. Disappearing without the need to declare my exit and to reappear only when I felt the need to. “Oh she’s out for a smoke.” “Oh she may not be coming back”

It started when I went out from the club because I couldn’t stand Marianne’s cousin breathing down my neck. Instead of decking him, I went out in the guise of a ‘smoke break’. Thank the lord he does not smoke—had a case of asthma I heard. Maybe I should’ve pressured him for a smoke.

I merely wanted to just give my selves a few minutes of outside air. I pretended I was looking for a pack in my empty pockets. But like some angel in disguise, a hand offered me a pack “have some” like it were a pack of gum. “Thanks” I said and it was lit up while I tried to put the stick in my mouth. Surprisingly, I did not cough up. I was actually good at it. Being good at something (even if it is smoking) is addictive.

Had a grand time in the smoker’s area. No one felt the need to talk to me, I didn’t feel obligated either. There was a communal exchange of light and the consentual exchange of poisonous air. A safe haven of people who just want to bugger off. It felt nice. Felt worth burning me lungs for this respite.

Maybe that was my church. Because church pretty much had the same aesthetic, smoke from the incense and the communal religious experience of escaping from the real world.

I pray mother knows that I’m not doing this to anger her, not specifically. But god did I feel so guilty. The 4th commandment didn’t exactly say Honor Your Mother and Father by not smoking. But it feels like it does.

Bless me mother for I have sinned, I meant for you to find me pack of smokes so you’d expect less of me and see more of me as a person who only looks like me dad but is hell-bent not to become the person he is (or was).

Ever wonder if I’d l believe in the concept of sin if I wasn’t raised catholic?

Feck this catholic guilt. No this isn’t catholic guilt. I’m not feeding more into the institution’s ego. It’s me being me ma’s good daughter. Feck it, I’m off to church.

[papirouge]

The witch hunts was not a Catholic European thing though, and the Inquisition was the first one to stop any sort of witchhunts because they didn't even believe that witchcraft existed. They had an Inquisitor spend months in Navarre after the Zugarraburfi trials (which was in itself an isolated event in a lot of ways) to stop the collective hysteria because the Spanish Inquisition realized that people's claims of witchcraft had been passed over the border with France where witch hunts were a serious issue. The Inquisition stopped one of the trials involving CHILDREN in Switzerland who were going to be executed. It is noted historically hoy the Catholic Church andespecially the Inquisition were rather merciful in regards of their attitude to witches and sorcery (and please, understand merciful in comparison to the actions of others,)

Witch hunts happened in areas where there was religious conflicts especially, like France, Germany and England which is why Italy and Psian saw very few of these and the ones that happened took place in areas very close to the borders with these sort of countries.

Luther was especially very aggressive towards those who were believed to practice dark magic and pressed for the hunts to continue.

Not everything is the fault of Catholics lmo. Have they done their fair share of things? Yeah. But this is not one of them.

Also just to note something, the Church didn't like the Inquisition lmao, because it was outside of their power. The Spanish, that is, not the others established in different countries before that.

No offense anon, but your entire post sounds like a major cope😭

Here's what I said

Maybe my sentence wasn't clear, but I said that the INQUISITION was an "Catholic European thing" - not witch trials. Witch trials were also committed by Protestants (WASP settlers in North America) so it wouldn't make sense to put witch trials on Catholicism alone. The Inquisition was mostly entertained by Europeans but also European colonies in South America.

It's also interesting how you're hyper fixating on witch trials and how the Inquisition dindu nuffing when I actually stated that the Inquisition targetted demographics beyond those suspected of witchcraft.

It's also funny how you say " the Inquisition stopped the witch trials".... without saying WHO started them 💀 sorry but the Inquisition starting to wind down on an oppression IT CREATED doesn't remotely negate the fucked up shit it did.

It's like those thinking they're doing something saying shit like "White people ended slavery🥺" ......yeah after profiting off of it for CENTURIES and realizing owning slaves (that have to be fed, accommodated, could get tired, get sick, etc.) was more expensive than investing in vapor machines. One have to be an absolute idiot to think the abolition of slavery came from benevolence. Interestingly enough, the same brand of folks spouting that nonsense totally understand it when it comes to female liberation (voting, better access to the workplace, etc.) to conveniently send shots to feminism, but will act oblivious when it comes to destroy to Slavery ending Benevolent White Man™ myth 💀

Also I don't understand why you have to drag Luther into this. Luther was a psychotic piece of shit, too - but he was right dragging the papacy for the disgusting farce that it is. The Inquisition was still demonic and full of shit ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. I still think God used Luther to rightfully call out the abuse of the Catholic church It wouldn't be a new thing for God to use extremely flawed people to make His point *Nebuchadnezzar says hi!* and it's lowkey funny how Catholics are still seething about it. Reeeee!!! peasants are now allowed to actually READ the Bible and don't have to PAY their ticket to heaven??!! 😱😱

And let's not even forget how the Catholic church reinforced worshipping in latin (because Catholicism is a European White washed pun intended version of Christianism - it's pretty reminiscent of the Arab supremacism of Islam that compels Muslim to read the Quran in Arabic 💀) which is hysterical because if it was about sticking to tradition they'd rather chose to worship in Aramaic, Hebrew, or even Greek...but noooo, these European scrotes had to center the Bible around themselves instead💀💀

No one is saying everything is the fault of Catholics. But it would be nice of Catholic to gaslight people into thinking how aKtcHualLy they did nothing wrong. The Inquisition oppressing intellectuals and Protestants is a well documented historical fact, anon. Even here in France, one of the most significant event in our History is the Saint Barthelemy when it's estimated 15-30 000 Protestants (Huguenots) were killed in one night. I have many things to say about Protestants who also have their fair share of shittiness and bloodsheding antics but it would be nice for Catholics to take accountability in basic historical facts instead of playing oblivious.

And I know for a fact that the Church (capital C aka the body of Christ) doesn't like the Inquisition because no discerning Christian who has the holy spirit/actually read the Bible does follow the Catholic Church of Rome. And I say this as a former Catholic who got her wake up call by simply reading the Bible and praying to God to show me the truth.

[letmedeleteitplz]

This will likely continue to expand with further development. This verse is closed to @azrahel and my Mick Davies on @bleakfated. Other than that it is fair game to other characters. Jessica is resurrected in late season 10 by Metatron.

Seasons 10/11

Before Metatron was broken out of Heaven, he convinced one of the angels that were still partial to his side to resurrect souls that had been important to the Winchesters. Metatron had a sinking feeling that the Winchesters and Castiel would come back for him and he wanted to have some leverage. Naturally, Jess became one of those souls as she was one that Ash had taught to break out of her section of Heaven and was often found in Ash’s Heaven that only consisted of The Roadhouse. The souls being yanked out of Heaven hadn’t gone unnoticed and the angel was quickly killed for their crimes against the new order of Heaven. Around this same time, with the help of Bobby, Metatron is taken back to Earth and loses his grace, thus losing any potential to use those he resurrected against them because he no longer had any allies.

Jessica woke up at her headstone in San Francisco. Terrified of what this meant, she quickly worked on fleeing the city in the off chance that anyone she had known in her human life would see her, especially her parents or sister. Little did she know that her parents now lived in Palo Alto and her sister was attending Stanford Law School. She bummed a ride off of a guy to Concord, at which point she ran off while he was inside a gas station. Having no idea how many years had passed since her death, Jessica was terrified of the potential of being brought back by demons to be used against Sam. She found her way to a Catholic church in hopes that she could remain safe there. The taunting of the demon inside of Tyson Brady had come back to her in waves. As he pulled the knife out of his chest, unbothered, he had let her know that she didn’t stand a chance against him without salt, iron, or a devil’s trap.

If that were the case, she needed a vessel to steal some holy water in and maybe something iron to protect herself, because she was still far too close for comfort to where it was most likely others would recognize her. She stole a water bottle off of a bike chained up outside of a coffee shop and quietly took some holy water from another church. It was at this moment that an unknown woman appeared not too far from Jessica. Azrael, the angel of death, was investigating why souls had been taken from Heaven. At first, Jessica immediately assumed danger and the idea of dying again with the potential of being intercepted on her way back to Heaven terrified her almost as much as being used as a bargaining chip against Sam. When the angel assured her that she didn’t mean her any harm, Jessica relaxed enough for little bits of her personality to shine through and Azrael took a quick liking to her.

After this, Azrael assured Jess that she would help her get on her feet… but this turned into a rather strong friendship. Hunting came pretty easily with an angel by her side, but Jessica honed up her self-defense skills and knowledge of the supernatural. Azrael would often need to return to Heaven or solve other crises and this left Jessica with some time to integrate herself into the hunting community. Sometimes with other hunters, she would give her main alias name Vanessa, but she became more comfortable with some of them to give her her first name alone. Sporadically, she would spend some time at The Crossroads and became pretty friendly with Teddy and Cam, sometimes taking cases with them when Azrael was away on business. They were a few of the hunters that she had grown to trust, but she still wouldn’t let on to anyone about her true identity other than Azzie who had obviously figured it out on her own.

Nightmares had plagued her since the moment she had first been brought back, mostly about her death and demons at first, but they quickly developed into ones about Sam. Were they no longer compatible because of how much they had both changed since 2005? Would he not want her as a memory of not being able to escape the hunting life for one that was normal? Had he met someone else, maybe a hunter that was way more badass than she could ever dream to be? Even the thought of him having met someone else and being ready to drop them for Jess made her feel sick to her stomach. Ultimately, all of these thoughts messed with her head enough to believe that leaving Sam in the dark about her resurrection would be what was best for both of them, so whenever she did go to The Crossroads, she made sure to message Cam or Teddy to see who had been around.

Season 12

About two years after Azrael and Jessica had become friends, they were on a case when they met Mick Davies. Mick had picked up hunting in the American fashion after he had not returned to the British Men of Letters compound where he knew they would kill him for breaking the code. He was a bit clumsy as a hunter, after being part of the brains of the operation of the BMOL for so long, so Azrael and Jessica were already in town when he had gotten there. The man was rather terrified of getting caught, because he knew they would have other members on the case of finding him to make sure he met his demise. Azrael and Jessica took a liking to him and promised to help keep him safe from what little of his story he was willing to share at first. After a month of being on the road together, Azrael was made aware of the carnage that took place when American hunters had stormed the compound.

If the agents weren’t killed, they fled back to England. Doctor Hess was confirmed among the dead. It was at this time that Mick felt comfortable enough to use the key that he had to unlock all Men of Letters bunker. He knew where all of them were located because he had brought out the information on the defunct chapter as they set their eyes on the Winchesters from overseas. They settled in to the bunker in Missoula, Montana. Mick and Jessica developed a playfully friendly bond and the three were all pretty honest with each other. Jess had told Mick about who she was and that she was resurrected and Mick had let her know that it seemed that Eileen Leahy and Sam had some sort of romantic bond at least starting to form. This was something he quickly came to regret, because it only solidified Jessica’s decision to not tell Sam about her further. Mick had grown to like the Winchesters and would often try to prod Jessica into changing her mind, because he believed that Sam deserved to know.

Season 13+

The tranquility of having a real home base only lasted for a few moments, however. A few weeks after settling in the Men of Letters bunker, Arthur Ketch picked the same bunker to regroup himself. He had found out from Doctor Hess before her death that she had gotten information on Mick from Crowley. He was paling around with an archangel, Azrael, the angel of death. Completely separate from the organization himself because they demanded he returned, he had started hunting under the alias Alexander after he had been resurrected from getting killed by the Winchesters with his resurrection seal. It became apparent that the bunker was lived in and he quietly made his way to the garage and made some noise, attracting the attention of Azrael and Mick. Rather effortlessly, he lit a match and trapped Azrael in the ring of holy oil he had made.

When Mick rushed at him, he rendered him unconscious and tied him up to watch the show as he strapped Azrael to a chair with straps etched with angel depowering and suppressing sigils. For a few moments, he considered killing both of them, but it didn’t really seem fitting. He wanted Mick to suffer for being a weak point in their plans against the Winchesters. Instead, he decided that archangel grace was something that would come in handy in a lot of ways. For a few painstaking hours, he removed Azrael’s grace with grace extracting syringes. The rest of the grace was extracted through a cut to the throat into a vial. This was a very painful process and the tortured screams of Azrael were enough fuel for Mick to break free of the binds placed on him. The two men fought it out for a long while, leaving the bunker in a state of disrepair. Eventually, Mick lost the fight and Ketch left the bunker after telling Mick that he hoped he enjoyed the rest of his pathetic existence.

Jessica was not home this night and instead had been staying in a motel in Smith Center to spend a few days at The Crossroads to unwind and catch up with some of her hunter friends. When she returned home, she immediately knew something was wrong when she saw a ring of soot left in the garage of the bunker. Gun drawn, she made her way inside the bunker screaming for Azrael and Mick. The scene she was met with only further twisted her stomach as the bunker was in a complete state of disarray. Shattered glass, knocked over bookcases, and broken chairs were scattered everywhere. A rather beaten up Mick left his bedroom to meet her, telling her to stop screaming because Azrael needed her rest. He did too, but he told Jess about all that had happened when she was gone. Distraught, Jess tried to pick up what she could while Mick worked on adding a secondary lock to the bunker’s entrances.

When Azrael and Mick both felt well enough to travel, they set their sights on the bunker in Roswell, New Mexico. This bunker became their primary place of residence, but they would stay at the Missoula bunker as well when they were more northern. Mick and Azrael got a lot closer in the time that Azrael was human and with a lot of goading form Jess, they began dating. What she hadn’t thought about was that she would become the third wheel. It didn’t bother her, most of the time, but sometimes it made her heart ache for Sam. Mick had since stopped pushing her toward telling Sam after a particularly large blow-up by Jess. Her visits to The Crossroads became a bit more frequent and she hooked up with some hunters from time to time, usually one night stands apart from Cameron Ambrose. They entered a friends with benefits sort of relationship and he would sometimes stay at the bunker after a case before heading back to Smith Center.

The three remained a trio, hunting and taking time off between the two bunkers, both with secondary locking systems and more updated technology for nearly a year without incident. Mick and Jess helped Azzie adjust to a human life and they were all a little more cautious with the cases they took. During this time, Mick helped Jess learn how to document accurate information about the supernatural on a website for hunters, complete with the vast amount of information the British Men of Letters had compiled. However, this all came to an end when Dean Winchester himself knocked on the bunker. He and Ketch had witnessed humans being lined up for slaughter by the angels in the apocalypse world and as a sign of good faith Ketch had given him Azrael’s grace and told him where to find her. The three were at the Missoula bunker at the time, but with the secondary lock, Dean was unable to get inside.

Jolted into action by the sound of banging on the door, Mick and Azzie answered it with their guns drawn. Jessica was about to join in investigating the disturbance when she heard Mick say Dean’s name. That made her run back to her room and quietly shut the door. Azrael was given back her grace and agreed to help fight in the apocalypse world, because the humans deserved peace from the onslaught of misery the angels were inflicting on that world. The mere thought of angels lining up humans for slaughter infuriated her. Mick agreed to help as well and they traveled back to the main bunker in Kansas. Jess on the other hand was completely torn on what to do, but she eventually joined in on this fight as well when apocalypse Michael was brought to their universe.

[apencilandpen]

MAC Movie Reviews Part 8? - John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998)

So I like horror. I like monster movies. John Carpenter and vampires? Sounds pretty cool! Wrong!

Nothing I’m gonna say here is new, I’m sure of it, but I just watched this movie and can’t stop thinking about it. John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998) does a handful of pretty cool things, and a few Really Bad ones.

Cool Things:

The opening gambit. I liked how it was all so mundane and run of the mill. Just another day of vampire hunting. I liked the big truck full of gear and how each member of the team had a different personality that showed through his outfit and weapon. I liked the practical effects.

The Vatican bankrolling bands of vampire hunters. That was some interesting worldbuilding that would do cool things in a better movie.

The first vampire being a disgraced Catholic priest who was turned into a vampire during a botched exorcism from the church. Another interesting thing that would be really cool in a better movie. 

The second priest and his arc was actually pretty interesting.

Maybe that’s not enough, but I don’t actually know what counts as a handful. Vampires does four (4) kind of cool things.

This movie is a case study in how vampirism is about power. Like, yeah, vampires can be about whatever you want them to be: religion, the aristocracy, imperial/colonialism, fear of the Other, and of course sex and sexuality. But in this movie, vampirism is just about power and violence, specifically over the disenfranchised, weak, and especially towards women. 

But it’s not just about the vampires holding this power; it’s about the slayers, Jack Crow and Montoya, holding this power of life and death over those listed above. The vampires in this movie are little more than nameless, faceless bodies for our protagonists to slice, dice, spear, and burn. And that’s fine! Not every movie villain needs to be nuanced and three dimensional. It’s a creature-feature bloodbath, and those movies have their place. The issues arise when one of those vampires gets a name. Now, I was expecting some girls and casual misogyny from this movie; I wasn’t kidding myself and I did know what I was getting into. But I didn’t expect exactly how bad it would be.

Katrina is introduced as one of many, many prostitutes the slayer team has at a party after their successful hunt at the beginning of the movie. We don’t learn her name until about halfway through the movie, but since I know it, I’m going to use it. She propositions Jack Crow, he accepts, and she goes to wait in his room, where she is then attacked by the main antagonist, the first ever vampire, Valek. This attack is designed to be seen as at best (? I don’t like that phrasing but for lack of a better term) sexual and at worst sexual assault. Then basically all of the slayer team is killed, along with all of the other prostitutes. She survives, and is taken by Jack and Montoya as they flee the scene and Valek.

Jack and Montoya don’t know or use her name for most of the movie, calling her “bitch” and “whore” before they know it and “baby” and “sweetheart” afterwards. She is already introduced as one of many prostitutes, she could have easily been any of the other women in the party scene. They don’t treat her with respect at the beginning of the movie, but once they know she’s been bitten, all bets are off. They immediately begin treating her as less than human, dragging her around, tying her up, undressing her while she’s unconscious to “clean her up” (to be fair, she is covered in blood at that point, and this is more of a point of camerawork and direction that informs character), and in one instance hitting her when she fights back. Katrina’s turning comes with a psychic link to Valek, and she becomes useful to Jack and Montoya because of it. But as a tool, not a person. It’s a bit of a parallel to how she was treated by the men at the beginning of the movie. The men don’t see her as human, and she isn’t, she’s becoming a vampire, so the motivations do make a bit of sense, but it’s the violence and hatred that it comes with that sets it apart. Jack Crow’s father was bitten by a vampire, he then turned Jack’s mother, and Jack had to kill at least his father. I would usually expect that instance to make a character like Jack overly protective of women; he couldn’t save his mother and now sees her death in every woman victimized by vampires. That’s what I would expect, but that is NOT what the movie gives us. He sees the vampirism first, then how powerful the vampire is, then decides if it’s useful or not. His hatred of vampires outweighs any kind of compassion he could have towards women. And it is just women. Montoya is turned by Katrina at the end of the movie, and Jack shows him mercy, even when another character says they should kill him. But he was waiting and willing to kill Katrina the minute she became useless to them.

Katrina’s story is actually the most interesting one of the movie. She’s a sex worker attacked and forcibly turned by a powerful man who is then used and mistreated by others, even those claiming to “help” her. She is permanently connected to her attacker and left with a permanent reminder of him through her new vampirism. She can’t escape what happened to her, and is treated as if it’s her fault, as if she’s tainted, and like I’ve said, less than a person. Her fate is decided by the men more powerful in her life: Jack, Montoya, Valek, and even the Cardinal who sends Jack and his team out on missions. Because Jack’s power is derived from the Catholic church, in case that wasn’t clear. I would love to watch another vampire movie that handles vampirism as male dominance and violence against women intentionally and compare the two. Maybe I’ll finally watch A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night.

This is a very strange movie. On one level, it’s a fine creature-feature, gory slasher from the late 90s that doesn’t need to be anything else. But watching it with even like one degree of critical thinking goggles makes it a very different experience. There’s the 90′s mega-machismo, some strange homoerotic homophobia from Jack Crow, there’s for sure a commentary to be made about Catholic imperialism and power, and I’m sure you could read it through a race studies lens. And as I said to one of my friends after watching it, there is something deeply, deeply wrong with Jack Crow.

4/10 vampire making black crosses. Thanks for the chance to stretch my analysis muscles, but next time I wanna watch Lost Boys and can’t find it, I’ll try a little harder

[ledenews]

St. John an Educational Option in Face of Diocesan Uncertainty

The potential merging of the Diocese of Steubenville with the Diocese of Columbus has raised a plethora of doubts and difficulties. The recent announcement by Bishop Jeffrey Monforton concerning the possible merger involving the 13 counties in the Diocese of Steubenville has been met with concern from the parishioners inside those counties. For example, if a merger takes place, who from what parish would be in charge? The Catholic Diocese of Columbus already serves Ohio Catholics in 23 counties, including some of the state's larger parishes. How would these 13 counties get shuffled into the mix, especially in terms of importance and attention? While parish members are pondering the what-ifs should the move go forward, parents of children enrolled in the diocese of Steubenville's schools may be wondering the same thing. Enrollment in Catholic schools, like the parish churches themselves, has been dwindling for more than a decade. Will Columbus be as willing to fight to keep an Eastern Ohio catholic school open as fervently as Steubenville might? In fairness, the Bishop did say that Catholic Central High School (in Steubenville) and others would be unaffected, but, given the overall climate, parents are wishing for more certainty surrounding the education of their children. That is why the leadership at St. John Central Academy is taking this opportunity to remind those parents, and any others wanting their sons and daughters to receive a quality yet affordable private school education with a religious component, that the Academy is still here for their needs. Founded in 2019, St. John Central Academy began its fourth full school year back in August after a successful run as St. John Central High and Elementary Schools. And while enrollment and funding may be declining in the area parochial schools in Eastern Ohio, all signs point to positivity at the academy. “We want it to be known that we're investing money into the school,” said Johnetta Yaegal with SJCA. “We're remodeling our chemistry lab, which is a $127,000 upgrade. It's really coming together nicely. There is a lecture area, plus we have a chemistry lab on one side, and a STEM lab on the other. “Any grade level is able to use the STEM lab.” The academy also purchased and is about to have a $90,000 boiler installed to upgrade the school's heating capabilities. All computers in the school have been upgraded and all students in grades 1-12 receive their own tablet to use. “Every student receives a Chromebook and all of our classes are available on Google classrooms,” Yaegel said. “We've also upgraded our entire IT department.” The broadcast journalism team at St. John Central Academy, one of a number of new options available at the private school in Bellaire. Still a Religious Component While St. John Central Academy is no longer affiliated with the diocese, it still offers a religious education component for its students as faith is a big part of the SJCA experience. Students attend church once a week. For those who aren't Catholic and wish to attend mass at nearby St. John, there is a praise and worship service offered in the gym by music teacher Brent Kimball, who also happens to be a licensed preacher. Bible and Theology classes are still held, including the Catechism, Ethics and Morality, History of World Religions, and Old and New Testament. The History of World Religions class can also count as a history class. The continued religious component has allowed SJCA to recruit not only parochial students to its halls, but also students in nearby Christian schools, like Martins Ferry Christian, when its students graduate out and are looking to continue their education at the high school level. “Martins Ferry Christian has been a great place for us to get kids. We've brought in a lot of great families from that school and others,” Yaegal said. She noted the Diocese in the past had been iffy on allowing SJCA in to talk and actively recruit students for its high school grade levels because of it no longer being affiliated. If this merger goes through, though, parents may be looking for other options for their children that still contain a religious education component and smaller class sizes. Dollars and Sense The tuition at St. John Central Academy is affordable by private school standards, coming in at $4,830. That can be broken up into nine or 12-monthly payments for easier affordability for parents. In addition, potential students may be eligible for EdChoice Scholarships from the state of Ohio. Traditional EdChoice Scholarships are available based upon income requirements, found here. Students found eligible can receive up to a certain amount for their education. The scholarship award amount maximum is more than SJCA's tuition amount, meaning the cost is covered fully. In addition, students residing in EdChoice public school districts are also eligible to have their tuition covered. EdChoice designated schools for 2022-23 are ones that (a) are ranked in the lowest 20 percent on the Performance Index Ratings for both the 2017-18 and 2018-19 school years; and (b) are operated by a school district where Title 1 formulate percentage is 20 percent or above of the last three school years of record. They can also be so designated if the school's district has an academic distress commission in place. For the 2022-23 school year, only Bellaire High School in Belmont County is so designated, along with Beallsville, Monroe Central, and River High Schools in Monroe County, plus Powhatan Elementary. No schools in Jefferson or Harrison qualify, and only Meadowbrook High School does in Guernsey County. The previous year, both Martins Ferry High School in Belmont and Caldwell High in Noble also were so designated. As an example, if a student whose home district school for their age was Powhatan Elementary, they could attend SJCA free of charge. Because they were eligible once for the EdChoice scholarship, they would be eligible and would receive that scholarship every year until they graduated, provided they didn't move home districts. If a student moves, the scholarship potentiality is based entirely upon their district of residence, and will reset upon moving. “Right now, about 40 percent of our students are either on traditional or expanded program EdChoice scholarships,” Yaegal said. “If they are eligible once, it will pay for private school from now until they graduate.” The Teamwork Lesson While education and preparing children for their future is the ultimate goal of any school, Yaegal recognizes the importance athletics plays in the Upper Ohio Valley. St. John Central still offers competitive athletics in a number of sports at the high school level, including volleyball, girls basketball, bowling, golf, swimming, track & field, and cross country. The academy also boasts its popular eSports team, which competes online in various video games. A large freshman class may help bring about the return of the softball team as there are 12 students apiece in both the 8th and 9th grade classes and nearly all of those play sports. Soccer is an emerging sports on the junior high level and its availability as a high school sport will depend on interest and numbers. While St. John does not currently field a boys varsity basketball team, football team, nor baseball, attending students can still play these sports for their home district's public school team. That's because any private school student can play for their home public school district, provided their private school doesn't offer that sport. For more information, visit St. John Central Academy online at www.sjcacademy.net. Read the full article

[deliciouskoalaphantom]

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[pinoy-culture]

Tagalog Gods (Part 2/10)

✦ Diyan Masalanta – Goddess of love, childbirth, and…destruction?

“They had another idol called Dian masalanta, who was the patron of lovers and of generation.”

– Juan de Plasencia’s Relation of the Worship of the Tagalogs, Their Gods, and Their Burials and Superstition (1589)

Original article posted on my blog The Pinay Writer

So there was a question on the Anito: The Precolonial Beliefs, Polytheistic Beliefs, and Practices of the Philippines group I run on FB about the goddess Dayang Masalanta, aka Dian/Diyan Masalanta. The question was, “Does her name really mean “to be destroyed there”? That’s quite the ominous name for a goddess of lovers.”

At first glance, it does seem so. Why would the name of a goddess of love and childbirth be called “to be destroyed there? To be destroyed?” It does seem a bit odd. However, you have to dig deeper into the Tagalog psyche and beliefs to get a grasp of why this possibly is. Now, let me first be clear that this is my own opinion and there is no written record stating the meaning behind the name of this goddess, nor is there anything else mentioned about her besides the small reference in Juan de Plasencia’s Relation of the Worship of the Tagalogs, Their Gods, and Their Burials and Superstition (1589).  Sadly this is the case and she isn’t mentioned anywhere else. It could be perhaps, from my guess, that she was a particular anito prayed to by a certain group of Tagalog, but she was not one well known to the entire Tagalog region compared to let’s say Lakapati who is very often mentioned in various historical sources. We will get more into this in a minute.

Now, Dian is Diyang, which means “lady”. Masalanta or Magsalanta is a Tagalog word that means “to be destroyed or devastated“. It comes from the root word, salanta, which in the Noceda and Sanlucar Vocabulario de la lengua Tagala (1754) and the San Buenaventura dictionary (1613) lists the meaning as poor, needy, crippled, and blind.

Generally, masalanta/magsalanta and nasalanta, which means “is destroyed/devastated“, is used when there is a calamity, such as a typhoon and flood. It can also be translated as victimized, damaged, and crippled and basically means someone who has misfortune or will have misfortune.

So, again, why would the goddess of love and childbirth be called Dayang Masalanta, or “Lady of destruction/devastation?”

The word salanta in the Vocabulario de la Lengua Tagala by Noceda and Sanlucar the 1860 edition

Being the goddess of lovers and childbirth, it is quite possible that Dayang Masalanta was prayed to by couples who were not able to conceive a child. This was and still is, considered devastating and could be thought to be caused by angered anito. They may have prayed to her for a child, or a woman may have prayed to her for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. It can also be that she was prayed and honored to prevent bad weather such as a typhoon, along with being the goddess of love and childbirth.

Weather? Where does this come from you may ask? Besides the indication of her name, let’s take a look to the present at a ritual that is said to have survived despite colonization and the church. This ritual that I am talking about is the Obando Fertility Rite in Obando, Bulacan, which was celebrated just recently.

The Obando Fertility Rite is said to predate the arrival of the Spaniards. It is a 3 day festival from May 17-19 that is celebrated every year by hundreds of people and attended by couples coming from throughout the Philippines looking to be blessed with a child and for lovers to find love. It is believed that the ritual was once dedicated to the anito and was replaced by the saints. While the saints and Catholicism have taken over the ritual, there are elements of the older practices still there.

Newspaper clipping from Philippine Daily Inquirer on May 19, 2005

There are 3 saints prayed to and honored during this 3 day festival. May 17 is celebrated to San Pascual Baylon, the patron saint of good fortune. May 18 is dedicated to Santa Clara, the patron saint of the childless and of good weather. May 19 is in celebration of Our Lady of Salambao, the patron saint of farmers and fisherman for a good harvest. Together they are prayed to for fertility, whether it’s of a childless couple hoping for a child, a woman praying for a safe pregnancy, for those who are single to find a lover, and of fisherman and farmers wishing for an abundance of harvest of crops and fish.

One Saint in particular that is prayed to is Santa Clara, or Saint Clare of Assissi. She was a nun from Italy during the 13th century that established the Order of Poor Ladies, officially known as the Order of Saint Clare. In the Obando festival, she is the oldest patron saint and is considered the patron saint of those who are childless and want a child. To her they danced, sang, and offered eggs as symbols of fertility. This fertility dance is said to be the Kasilonawan, an old fertility dance among barren women. Kasilonawan is actually mentioned in the N&S dictionary (1754) as an ancient ceremony, however it doesn’t get into more detail.

The kasilonawan ritual mentioned in the Vocabulario de la Lengua Tagala by Noceda and Sanlucar the 1754 edition as casilonawan in the old Spanish spelling where f is exchanged with s, and v, with w

Now many Pilipinos, especially soon to be wed couples, offer eggs to Santa Clara. They do this not only as offerings of fertility, but also to ask for good weather. It is said she is the the patron saint for good weather because of her name, Clara, which means “clear”. Clara is also the word referring to the white part of the egg. This is mentioned in the entries for the words liwanag and puti in both the SB and N&S dictionaries.

From the Vocabulario de la Lengua Tagala by Noceda and Sanlucar the 1860 edition

“Niyong ako’y magmula sa Kastila y itlog ka pa man din sa tiyan nang ina mo.” = When I arrived from Spain, you were still an egg in your mother’s belly. – (SB 1613)

This idea of eggs representing a fetus and of fertility is why eggs are offered to Santa Clara as a symbolic gesture from women who are having a hard time conceiving in the hopes they will have a child. Together with the ritual dance and chants, they hope to overcome this and be blessed with pregnancy.

Let’s now get back to Dayang Masalanta. We know from Plasencia that she was the goddess of lovers and childbirth. From her name, we have Masalanta referring to destruction/devastation in terms of a natural calamity like a flood. Now, is it possible that one of the anito that the people of Obando once worshiped and prayed to in these fertility rites was none other than Dayang Masalanta? That due to the arrival of Catholicism, the shift from the anito to the saints made the locals refer Dayang Masalanta as Santa Clara?

Both represent childbirth and both have a connection with the weather. Santa Clara being prayed to for clear skies and good weather, while Dayang Masalanta in her name represents a word that foretells misfortune from bad weather and we know she was the goddess of lovers and childbirth. This association of good weather and blessing couples with a child with Santa Clara isn’t practiced anywhere else in the world. In fact the only associations with Santa Clara, aka St. Clare of Assissi, is that she is the patron saint of eye disease, goldsmiths, laundry, and television according to the Catholic Church. So why would the Tagalog associate her with praying for good weather, fertility, and a blessing of a child among childless couples? I explained that they associate the weather because of her name, Clara, but again eggs? What does eggs have to do with praying for good weather? Fertility yes, but I still don’t see the connection between eggs and good weather unless this was because of a something else in the old Tagalog mindset and belief.

There is also the prayer of finding a loving partner if you attend the Obando Fertility Festival. Maybe, just possibly, Dayang Masalanta was once prayed to for love, conception, fortune, and good weather and that she was once the focus of the Obando Fertility Rite among other anito? The other anito which I suspect are Linga, a phallic god, who is often mentioned today to be associated with the rites, and Lakan Pati a fertility deity who was once prayed to for a fertile harvest and also to provide for water for crops. They were also prayed to for an abundance of fish when fishing at sea, according to the Boxer Codex, which again goes along with the Obando Fertility rites of praying for fertility and an abundance harvest of crops and fish.

For me, this is quite the possibility. However, again I must clearly state and emphasize that there is no historical written evidence to connect Dayang Masalanta with the Obando Fertility Rites, Santa Clara, or even her being worshiped for clear, fair weather. One can only assume based on her name, what we know of her from Plasencia, and what we know today of the fertility rites in Obando.

What do you think? Do you think Santa Clara was once Dayang Masalanta? Why else do you think her name is Masalanta when she is the goddess of lovers and childbirth? Let me know, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Illustration Credits from Photoset:

First Illustration (2nd photo): By Kian @morenangmariaclara. 

Second Illustration (3rd photo): By Abby @abbydraws

[hansolmates]

shiver | 06

banner done by the great @dnrequests​

summary; jungkook changed since he moved out of his small town church community and attended college. when he returns for a christmas mass, you suddenly crave a taste of his fun and carefree life. in exchange, jungkook craves a taste of you pairing; bad boy!jungkook x church girl!reader genre/warnings; childhood friends to lovers, brief childhood friends to enemies, fwb!au, catholic guilt, jungkook is a meanie who eventually turns into a soft tsundere, bicuriosity, sexual exploration, virgin!oc, eventual smut w/c; 733 a/n; literally did not know what to do with this installment. i wanted a sort of “holy poop!” factor at the end but i don’t know if i reached it bahahahahaha!!! otherwise, ty for the care and support, enjoy your weekend! [shiver masterpost]

Things have been turning up for you. 

Meeting Sana was like meeting a diamond in a swamp. She’s cute and soft and greets you with a kiss on your cheek every time you meet up for lunch. In a large lecture hall of two-hundred, you managed to sit next to each other in your Children’s Literature class. 

Even though you’re only one of her tons of friends, she makes time for you. She eases you in, introduces you to nice people who don’t care whether you wear a crop top or a wool skirt. You’re starting to dread going home on Friday nights, wanting to spend more time with Sana and make more friends. 

Today is Pastor Nina’s birthday however, and you really don’t want to have a conversation with your parents on how you’re “growing up.” A very latent version of growing up, but growing nonetheless. So you buckle up and wear your shapeless tweed pinafore, proceed with a thin smile and get ready for Pastor Nina’s lunch festivities. 

The cafeteria in the annex is buzzing with activity. Children from the youth group are playing with the beanbags and throwing them into old wooden targets. The aunties and uncles are playing rummy in the back corner. You’re currently setting up the dessert table, wanting to protect your matcha white chocolate cookies for as long as possible. 

“Need help?” 

The last person you expected to come is Jungkook. Jungkook, who actually looks like he tried to come, wearing dark jeans and a plain black blazer. His hair is pushed back, with pomade and spray to reveal his forehead. His hands, adorned with silver bands and dark ink, pat across his thighs awkwardly as he awaits your instructions. 

“What are you doing here,” you say icily, continuing to set out the plastic utensils in their respective baskets, “it’s not Christmas yet.” 

“Okay, fair,” Jungkook visibly winces, “I want to apologize.” 

“For what?” 

“For being a bad friend.” 

“I don’t even think you were a friend at all,” you murmur to yourself, but Jungkook catches it. 

The party room is bustling, yet people are drawn by the fact that Jungkook is here for once. Some people are visibly excited, especially the children who love to rub their tiny fingers over his tattoos and veins. Others are more muted, muttering behind their cards about how he should be making more of an effort to come like you are. 

“Can we please talk somewhere?” his eyes flicker like a ping pong match, darting from every corner of the room. People were brushing against you, getting things done, however their ears wouldn’t be deaf to anything that catches their fancy. 

“Dearie,” Aunt Vesta touches your shoulder, breaking you from your conversation, “can you get more dessert trays in the storage upstairs? Bring a friend with you.” 

“I’ll go, Auntie,” Jungkook plasters a smile on his face, one that Aunt Vesta cooes and swoons for. With a subtle roll of your eyes, you let Jungkook follow you like a duckling (a large, strong duckling who will carry all of the trays) up the stairs and into the storage room. 

The door clicks shut behind him, and it feels strangely intimate to be alone with you. Alone with a purpose. One month ago Jungkook made the mistake of letting his desire get to him, unable to wean off the stressful and experimental semester he had. You’re counting the trays in the corner, picking a matching set that will hold all of today’s sweets. Your back faces him, but he knows you’re waiting. 

“I’m a dick. I clung to the fact that we’ve known each other since birth and it made me forget that there’s more to you than just a little crush,” Jungkook is pouring out, afraid you’re going to cut him off if he doesn’t say the right thing in time. 

“I don’t have a crush on you. I don’t even like you anymore,” you quip, and Jungkook sighs, rounding the corner so you can face him. 

“Tell me what I can do to fix this,” Jungkook’s eyes pray for you to look back at him, “I’ll do anything to be your friend.” 

“Anything?” you put the trays down, and cross your arms in front of your chest. 

Jungkook swallows, “Whatever you want.” 

“Okay. If you want to be my friend, I want you to have sex with me.”

[itonje]

people of color in arthurian legend masterpost

hi! some people said it would be cool if i did this, and this is something i find interesting so. yeah! are you interested in king arthur and the knights of the round table? do you like to read about characters of color, especially in older lit? well, i hope this can be a good resource for people to get into stuff like that, especially poc/ethnic minorities who might feel uncomfortable or lonely getting into older media like arthuriana. this post is friendly to both those who prefer medieval lit and those who prefer modern stuff!

disclaimers: i am not a medievalist nor a race theorist! very much not so. i am just a 17 year old asian creature on the internet who wants to have an easy-to-reference post, if i’m not comprehensive enough please inform me. i’m going to stay closely to the matter of britain, as well, not all medieval european literature as a. this is what i’m more familiar with and b. there’s so much content and information and context to go along with it that it would really be impossible to put it all into one tumblr post. (however there’s always going to be overlap!) also, please do not treat me or any other person of color/ethnic minority as a singular all-knowing authority on anything! we’re all trying to have fun here and being made into an information machine on things, especially what is and isn’t offensive isn’t fun. with that out of the way, let’s get into it! (under cut for length!) 

part i: some historical context (tw for racism and antisemitism discussion)

fair warning, i’m going to start off with some discussions of more heavier history before we talk about more fun stuff. while pre colonial racism was far more different than how it is today, there still...was racism. and it’s important to understand the social mien around nonwhite people in europe at the time these works were written. 

to understand how marginalized ethnicities were written in medieval european literature, you have to understand the fact that religion, specifically catholicism, was a very important part of medieval european life. already, catholicism has violent tenets (ie, conversion as an inherent part of the church, as well as many antisemitic theologies and beliefs), but this violence worsened when an event known as the crusades happened.

the crusades were a series of religious wars started by the catholic church to ‘reclaim’ the holy land from islamic rule and to aid the byzantine empire. while i won’t go into the full history of the crusades, (some basic info here and here and here) its important to understand that they had strengthened the european view of the ’pagan’ (ie: not european christian) world as an ‘other’, a threat to christiandom that needed to be conquered and converted, for the spiritual benefit of both the convertee and the converter. these ideas of ethnoreligious superiority and conversion would permeate into the literature of the time written by european christians. 

even today, the crusades are very much associated with white supremacy and modern islamophobic sentiment, with words such as ‘deus vult’ as a dogwhistle, and worship of and willingness to emulate the violence the crusaders used against the inhabitants of the holy land in tradcath spaces, so this isn’t stuff that’s all dead and in the past. crusader propaganda and the ignorance on the violence of the catholic church and the crusaders on muslim and jewish populations (as well as nonwhite christians ofc) is very harmful. arthuriana itself has a lot of links to white supremacy too-thanks to @/to-many-towered-camelot for this informative post. none of this stuff exists in a bubble. 

here’s a book on catholic antisemitism, here’s a book on orientalism, here’s a book about racism in history that touches on the crusades. (to any catholic, i highly reccommend you read the first.)

with that out of the way, we can talk about the various not european groups that typically show up in arthurian literature and some historical background irt to that. the terms ‘moor’ and ‘saracen’ will typically pop up. both terms are exonyms and are very, very broad, eventually used as both a general term for muslims and as a general term for african and (western + central) asian people. they’re very vague, but when you encounter them the typical understanding you’re supposed to take away is ‘(western asian/african) foreigner’ and typically muslim/not christian as well. t

generally, african and asian lands will typically be referred to as pagan or ‘eastern/foreign’ lands, with little regard for understanding the actual religions of that area. they will also typically refer to saracens as pagans although islam is not a pagan religion. this is just a bit of a disclaimer. the term saracen itself is considered to be rather offensive-thank you to @/lesbianlanval for sending me a paper on this subject. 

while i typically refer to the content on this post as having to pertain to african and asian people (ie, not european) european jewish arthurian traditions are included on this post too. but, i know more about poc and they’ll feature more prominently in this post because of that, lol. 

part ii: so, are there any medieval texts involving characters of color?

i’m glad you asked! of course there are! to be clear, european medieval authors were very much aware that people of color and african + asian nations existed, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. even the vita merlini mentions sri lanka and a set of islands that might (?) be the philippines!! for the sake of brevity though, on this list i’m not going to list every single one of these small and frequent references, so i’m just going to focus on texts that primarily (or notably) feature characters of color. 

first of all, it’s important to know was the influence of cultures of color and marginalized ethnicities that helped shape arthurian legend. the cultural exchange between europe and the islamic world during the crusades, as well as the long history of arab presence in southern europe, led to the influence of arabic love poetry and concepts of love on european literature, helping to form what we consider the archetypal romance. there are also arthurian traditions in hebrew, and yiddish too, adding new cultural ideas and introducing new story elements to their literature-all of these are just as crucial to the matter of britain as any other traditions!

when it comes to nonwhite presence in the works themselves, many knights of color in arthurian legend tend to be characters that, after defeated by a knight of arthur’s court join the court themselves. though some are side characters, there are others with their own romances and stories devoted to them! many of them are portrayed as capable + good as, if not better than their counterparts. (this, however, usually only comes through conversion to christianity if the knight is not christian...yeah.) though groups of color as a general monolith created by european christians tended to be orientalized in literature (see: mystical and strange ~eastern~ lands), many individual knights were written to be seen by their medieval audience as positive heroes. i’m going to try to stick to mostly individual character portrayals such as these. 

with that all said though, these characters can still be taken as offensive (i would consider most to be) in their writing, so take everything with a grain of salt here. i will also include links to as many english translations of texts as i can, as well as note which ones i think are beginner friendly to those on the fence about medieval literature!

he shows up in too many texts so let’s make this into two bullet notes and start with one of, if not the most ubiquitous knight of color of the round table (at least in medieval lit),-palamedes! palamedes/palomides is a ‘’saracen knight’’ who (typically) hails from babylon or palestine and shows up in a good amount of texts. his first appearance is in the prose tristan, and he plays a major role there as a knight who fights with tristan for the hand of iseult-while he uh. loses, him and tristan later become companions + friends with a rivalry, and palamedes later goes off to hunt the questing beast, a re-occurring trend in his story. 

palamedes even got his own romance named after him (which was very popular!) and details the adventures of the fathers of the knights of the round table, pre arthur, as well as later parts of the story detailing the adventures of their sons. it was included in rustichello da pisa’s compilation of arthurian romances, which i unfortunately have not seen floating around online (or...anywhere), so i can’t attest to the quality of it or anything. he appears in le morte darthur as well, slaying the questing beast but only after his conversion to christianity (...yeah.) in the texts in which he appears, palamedes is considered to be one of the top knights of the round table, alongside tristan and lancelot, fully living up to chivalric and courtly ideals and then some. i love him dearly and i’ve read the prose tristan five times just for him. (also the prose tristan in general is good, please give it a try, especially if you’re a romance fan.)

speaking of le morte d’arthur, an egyptian knight named priamus shows up in the lucius v arthur episode on lucius’ side first, later joining arthur’s after some interactions with gawaine. palamedes has brothers here as well-safir and segwarides. safir was relatively popular, and shows up in many medieval texts, mostly alongside his older brother. i wouldn’t recommend reading le morte of all things for the characters of color though-if you really want to see what it’s all about, just skip to the parts they’re mentioned with ctrl + f, haha. 

the romance of moriaen is a 12th century dutch romance from the lancelot compilation, named for its main character morien. morien, who is a black moor, is the son of sir aglovale, the brother of perceval. whilst gawaine and lancelot are searching for said perceval, they encounter morien, who is in turn searching for aglovale as he had abandoned morien’s mother way back when. i wholeheartedly recommend this text for people who might feel uncomfy with medieval lit. though the translation i’ve linked can be a bit tricky, the story is short, sweet, and easy to follow, and morien and his relationships (esp with gariet, gawaine’s brother) are all wonderful. 

king artus (original hebrew text here) is a northern italian jewish arthurian text written in hebrew- it retells a bit of the typical conception of arthur story, as well as some parts from the death of arthur as well. i really can’t recommend this text enough-it’s quite short, with an easy-to-read english translation, going over episodes that are pretty familiar to any average reader while adding a lot of fun details and it’s VERY interesting to me from a cultural standpoint. i find the way how they adapt the holy grail (one of the most archetypal christian motifs ever) in particular pretty amazing. this is also a very beginner friendly text! 

wolfram von eschenbach’s parzival (link to volume 1 and volume 2-this translation rhymes!) is a medieval high german romance from the early 13th century, based off de troyes’ le conte du graal while greatly expanding on the original story. it concerns parzival and his quest for the grail (with a rather unique take on it-he fails at first!), and also takes like one million detours to talk about gawaine as all arthurian lit does. the prominent character of color here is a noble mixed race knight called feirefiz, parzival’s half brother by his father, who after dueling with parzival, and figures out their familial connection, joins him on his grail quest. he eventually converts to christianity (..yeah.) to see the grail and all ends happily for him. however, this text is notable to me as it contains two named women of color-belacane, feirefiz’s black african mother, and secundilla, feirefiz’s indian wife. though unfortunately, both are pretty screwed over by the text and their respective husbands. though parzival is maybe my favorite medieval text i’ve read so far i don’t necessarily know if i’d recommend this one, because it is long, and can be confusing at times. however, i do think that when it comes to the portrayal of people of color, while quite poor by today’s standards, von eschenbach was trying his best?-of course, in reason for. a 13th century medival german christian but he treats them with respect and all these characters are actually characters. if you’re really interested in grail stories (and are aware of the more uncomfortably christian aspects of the grail story), and you like gawaine and perceval, i’d say go for it. 

in the turk and sir gawain, an english poem from the early 16th century, gawaine and the titular turkish man play a game of tennis ball. i’m shitting you not. this text is pretty short, funnily absurd, and with most of the hallmarks of a typical quest (various challenges culminating in some castle being freed), so it’s an easier read. it’s unclear to me, but at the end of the story the turkish man turns into sir gromer, a noble knight, who may or may not be white which uh. consider my ‘....yeah’ typical at this point, but i don’t personally read it that way for my own sanity. also he throws the sultan (??) of the isle of man (????) into a cauldron for not being a christian so when it comes to respectful representation of poc this one doesn’t make it, but it does make this list. 

the revenge of ragisel, or at least the version i’ve read (the eng translation of the dutch version from the lancelot compilation), die wrake van ragisel, starts off being about the mysterious murder of a knight, but eventually, as most stories do, becomes a varying series of adventures about gawaine and co. one of gawaine’s friends (see: a knight who he combated with for a hot sec and then became friends and allies with, as you do) is a black knight named maurus! he’s not really an mc, but he features prominently and he’s pretty entertaining, as all the characters in this are. i also recommend this highly, i was laughing the whole time reading it! it’s not too long and pretty wild, you’ll have a good romp. this is a good starter text for anyone in general!

i’ve not read the roman van walewein, which, as it says on the tin, is a 12th century dutch romance concerning some deeds of gawaine (if only gawaine was a canon poc, i wouldn’t need to make this list because he’s so popular...). i’m putting it on the list for in this, gawaine goes to the far eastern land of endi (india) and romances a princess named ysabele. i can’t speak to ysabele’s character or the respectfulness of her kingdom or representation, but i know she’s a major character and her story ends pretty well, so that’s encouraging. women of color, especially fleshed out woc, are pretty rare in arthurian lit. i’ve also heard the story itself is pretty wild, and includes a fox, which sounds pretty exciting to me!

now the next two things i’m going to mention aren’t really? texts that feature characters of color or jewish characters, but are rather more notable for being translations of existing texts into certain languages. wigalois is a german 13th century romances featuring the titular character (the son of, you guessed it, gawaine!) and his deeds. the second, jaufre, is the only arthurian romance written in occitan, and is a quite long work about the adventures of the knight jaufre, based on the knight griflet. what’s notable about these two works is that wigalois has a yiddish translation, and jaufre has a tagalog translation. wigalois’ yiddish translation in particular changed the original german text into something more fitting of the arthurian romance format as well as adding elements to make it more appealing for a jewish audience. the tagalog translation of jaufre on the other hand was not medieval, only coming about in 1900, but the philippines has had a long history of romantic tradition and verse writing, so i’m curious to see if it too adds or changes elements when it comes to the arthurian story, but i can’t find a lot on the tagalog version of jaufre unfortunately-i hope i can eventually!

this list of texts is also non-exhaustive! i’m just listing a couple of notoriety, and some to start with. 

part iii: papers and academic analysis

so here’s just a dump of various papers i’ve read and collected on topics such as these-this is an inexhaustive and non-comprehensive list! if you have any papers you think are good and would like to be added here, shoot me an ask. i’ll try to include a link when i can, but if it’s unavailable to you just message me. * starred are the ones i really think people, especially white people, should at least try to read. 

Swank, Kris. ‘Black in Camelot: Race and Ethnicity in Arthurian Legend’ *

Harrill, Claire. ‘Saracens and racial Otherness in Middle English * Romance’

Keita, Maghan. ‘Saracens and Black Knights’ 

Hoffman, Donald L. ‘Assimilating Saracens: The Aliens in Malory's ‘Morte Darthur’

Goodrich, Peter H. ‘Saracens and Islamic Alterity in Malory's ‘Le Morte Darthur’

Schultz, Annie. ‘Forbidden Love: The Arabic Influence on the Courtly Love Poetry of Medieval Europe’ *

Hardman, Philipa. ‘Dear Enemies: the Motif of the Converted Saracen and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’

Knowles, Annie. ‘Encounters of the Arabian Kind: Cultural Exchange and Identity the Tristans of Medieval France, England, and Spain’ *

Hermes, Nizar F. ‘King Arthur in the Lands of the Saracens’ *

Ayed, Wajih. ‘Somatic Figurations of the Saracen in Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte Darthur’

Herde, Christopher M. ‘A new fantasy of crusade: Sarras in the vulgate cycle.’ *

Rovang, Paul R. ‘Hebraizing Arthurian Romance: The Originality of ‘Melech Artus.’’

Rajabzdeh, Shokoofeh. ‘The Depoliticized Saracen and Muslim erasure’ *

Holbrook, Sue Ellen. ‘To the Well: Malory's Sir Palomides on Ideals of Chivalric Reputation, Male Friendship, Romantic Love, Religious Conversion—and Loyalty.’ *

Lumbley, Coral. ‘Geoffrey of Monmouth and Race’ *

Oehme, Annegret. ‘Adapting Arthur. The Transformations and Adaptations of Wirnt von Grafenberg’s Wigalois’ *

Hendrix, Erik. ‘An Unlikely Hero: The Romance of Moriaen and Racial Discursivity in the Middle Ages’ *

Darrup, Cathy C. ‘Gender, Skin Color, and the Power of Place in the Medieval Dutch Romance of Moriaen’ *

Armstrong, Dorsey. ‘Postcolonial Palomides: Malory's Saracen Knight and the Unmaking of Arthurian Community’ (note this is the only one i can’t access in its entirety)

part iv: supplemental material

here’s some other stuff i find useful to getting to know knights of color in arthurian legend, especially if papers/academic stuff/medieval literature is daunting! i’d really recommend you go through all of these if you can’t go through anything else-most are quick reads. 

a magazine article on knights of color here, and this article about the yiddish translation of wigalois. 

this video about characters of color in arthurian legend!

the performance of the translation of arabic in Libro del Caballero Zifar, and how it pertains to the matter of britain 

a post by yours truly about women of color in parzival

this info sheet about palamedes, and this info sheet about ysabele-thanks to @/pendraegon and @/reynier for letting me use these!

this page on palamedes as well

this post with various resources on race and ethnicity in arthuriana-another thank you to @/reynier! 

part v: how about modern day stories and adaptations?

there’s a lot of em out there! i’m not as familiar with modern stuff, but i will try to recommend medias i know where characters of color (including racebends!) are prominent. since i haven’t read/watched all (or truly most) of these, i can’t really speak on the quality of the representation though, so that’s your warning. 

first of all, when it comes to the victorian arthurian revival, i know that william morris really liked palamedes! (don’t we all.) he features frequently in morris’ arthurian poetry, (in this beautiful book, he primarily features in ‘sir galahad, a christmas mystery’ and ‘king arthur’s tomb’. he has his own poem by morris here.)

and some other poems about palamedes, which i’d all recommend. 

for movies, i know a knight in camelot (1998) stars whoopi goldberg as an original character, the green knight (2021) will star dev patel as gawaine. 

some shows include camelot high, bbc merlin, disney’s once upon a time, and netflix’s cursed, all featuring both original characters of color and people of color cast as known arthurian figures. 

for any music people, in ‘high noon over camelot’, an album by the mechanisms, mordred is played by ashes o’reilley, who in turn is performed by frank voss, and arthur is played by marius von raum who is perfomed by kofi young. 

i’ve also heard the pendragon and the squire’s tales have palamedes as a relevant character if you’re looking for novels, as well as legendborn and the forgotten knight: a chinese warrior in king arthur’s court starring original protagonists of color! 

part vi: going on from here

so, you’ve read some medieval lit, read some papers, watched some shows, and done all that. what now? well, there’s still so much out there! 

if you have fanfiction, analysis, metaposts, fun content etc etc about arthurian poc, feel free to plug your content on this post! i’d be happy to boost it. 

in general, if you’re a person of color or a jewish person and you’re into arthurian legend, feel free to promote your blog on this post as well! i would love to know more people active on arthurian tumblr who are nonwhite. 

this is really just me asking for extra content, especially content made by poc, but that’s okay! arthurian legend is a living, breathing set of canons and i would love love love to see more fresh diversity within them right alongside the older stuff. 

a very gracious thank you to the tumblr users whom i linked posts to on here, and thanks to y’all for saying you want to see this! i hope this post helped people learn some new things!