#and also kind of breaks me
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Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.
Whatever. Understand or don't.
#I can't always read hyper-neat cursive. Doctors get away with being worse than me.#I'm allowed to be messy#nariart#1 sheet zine#mini zine#8 page zine#zines#zine#Taking time to write slowly enough to be understood was a special kind of torture in school.#My brain was going 100 km/h and I couldn't keep up and also be legible.#Now I can take my time and take breaks. But I still have that little voice in my head.#narizine#nariwrites#1k
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I rewatched this show after 5 years! She has me on a chokehold again despite her arc being... hmm. But she served so much that I can still enjoy it lowkey lolol Real ones might know that I started this art blog with tangled fanart so this is a nostalgic callback to me. I do want to do more fanart, hopefully finished / colored instead of a doodle page, but I don't want to promise anything just in case I backtrack :")
#tangled#rapunzels tangled adventure#tangled the series#fanart#tts fanart#cassandra#cassandra tangled#tts#moon cassandra#mooncass#tts art#arranging these doodles was absolute hell btw#I want to take a break from trying this kind of doodle page 😭#also the contrast between young me watching the show for the first time vs current me is hilarious#might elaborate on that later but idk#also might explore some#cassunzel#pieces fr#they are genuinely interesting
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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering#kokotehart
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the general concept for this was: it belongs to an oracle deck (non existent, this came out of a dream I had awhile back) where the illustrations are all romans and they all straight up tell you that everything is doomed to failure no matter what you pull lol
also this is quintus arrius
#like if a magic 8 ball personally hated your guts kind of deck#the ward biography mentions some other stuff w/ quintus but i want to think more thoughts about that first#anyway (gently grasping quintus arrius in my hands) get fucking cursed. bitch.#<< im referring to spartacus' funeral games in honor of crixus and the inversion of the roman identity in spectacular fashion#but also personally im cursing him with themes. escalating themes. maybe even some body horror depending on#what i decided to do with carrhae#drawing tag#roman republic tag#anyway. part of me wants to do the full set of romans i remember from my dream because i was reading a book on oracles and empire#and. well! fascinatingly gnarly stuff! the kind of stuff you'd do a string of illustrations about. potentially#that might be a next year project. it'll take a million years to break down the oracle-empire to oracle deck pipeline into something#coherent enough to explain beyond 'romans in a state of humiliation' is fun
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*In the voice of someone who's only media experience is jjba*: Wow, getting a lot of jjba vibes from tf2
Amidst the chaos and disappointments that encompassed my last two months, I had a fun connection about two of my favorite brain rot comics - you got an immortal(ish) with a harsh backstory who spirals into obsessive hatred that ends in the stealing of their obsession's bodies and subsequently haunt those family lines and those adjacent to them for generations - and I liken the Zeppelis, who shares the Joestar's generational curse by Dio/immortal creatures in general, to the Conaghers who I also see as helpers to the Mann line Its a really cool angle to look at Engie in, who since I was 14 was my least favorite character lol, this really elevated him for me
And so if the Manns are like the Joestars, that means like, Olivia Man is the equivalent of Joseph lol which is very funny to me
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 engie#dell conagher#tf2 administrator#tf2 olivia mann#radigan conagher#do yall use their full names in tags?? Or just the titles#Dells is like... on equal usage of both to me so i wasnt sure lol#jjba#i guess#yknow i rambled on about this in other tags but its also noteworthy that Olivia - as a Mann descendent - also gets to break free#of the cycle of violence - I mean shell probably end that Mann tradition of overpowering and killing your own family lol#I think also- whether intentionally or not- that you could say something about the fact that shes the first GIRL born to a Mann#unless that theory about the administrator also being a Mann ever gets some more hints or a confirmation - I Think that one is a#very interesting one!! and that it also could add to Olivia being kind of like... a redemption? Of Helen? If that makes sense#Like I think it could add more emotional weight for both that Olivia gets to live out being free where Helen couldnt let go of being a Mann#Analyzing that specifically through a feminist lens/reading would be fascinating but im not very articulate lol just grasping at substance#would love to hear others thoughts on that tho - if anyone read this far lol#might just makes these tags its own posts damn
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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no thoughts. just kdj embarrassing himself.
#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#orv spoilers#kind of?#joongdok#leafy scribbles#omniscient reader's viewpoint#convo context is that yjh has managed to break kdj's 'but that's gay. and i'm not gay' wall except now he's stuck on the—#'but think of the ethics.' wall of denial kdj edition#also shhh dont ask how theyre communicating ✨ we make our own rules. our own canon here ✨#hsy would be proud of me. i think.
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Potential Phaidei Crumbs
Some more possible Phaidei crumbs that I've been thinking about and haven't seen people discussing yet:
First, in the very first scene with Mydei, there's this one odd line. It's a tiny thing, but nothing in a character's first appearance is accidental, so...
Mydei starts griping, telling Phainon that the people of Castrum Kremnos as a whole will not accept him. Presumably he actually means this in a general sense, aka "The Kremnoans won't accept any other hero; Kremnos won't become allies with anyone."
However, something I haven't seen many people note is that Mydei's very next line is:
"As the successor of Kremnos, I am not able to act independently on such matters."
This is a weird statement, right?
Saying "I am not able to act independently" basically implies that there is a desire to choose differently than his people. It's not "I would never act differently than my people demand." It's not even "I don't want to act independently"--it's "I am not able to." Wording the statement this way actively suggests that Mydei has a different stance than Kremnos itself--that if he had the power to act independently, he might make a different determination than his people expect.
Or, in more direct words: He would accept Phainon if he had the choice.
The dev team is very careful about the first impression that characters make in their debut appearances in the game. Choosing to deliberately reveal to us that Mydei has a different opinion of Phainon than the rest of the Kremnoans might is a strong signal for Mydei's characterization--deep down, he is very different from other Kremnoans--but, even more importantly, it tells us instantly that Mydei thinks more highly of Phainon than other people from Kremnos do. (Even if he also thinks Phainon is a mannerless heathen who lacks hospitality lol.)
Okay, okay, but that's just one little line. There's another thing I wanted to point out too, and that's actually Miss Castorice...
I've seen a lot of people suggesting Mydei/Castorice, Phainon/Castorice, and even Mydei/Castorice/Phainon, but for all the fandom's shipping (and everyone should feel free to ship what they love; your ship is valid, fam!), I actually kind of think that...
Castorice is a bit of a Mydei/Phainon shipper herself.
Although Castorice is of course just a good person who is doing what she can to help Okhema, she also is quick to assist Phainon specifically to save Mydei, quick to try to keep Phainon calm because that's what will help him get to Mydei quicker, and she just brings Mydei up out of the blue to Phainon several times throughout the story.
It's Castorice who halts Phainon's ascension ceremony to ask where Mydei is, because she expected him to be there for Phainon.
It seems to be a given for Castorice that if Phainon needs him, in Phainon's most important hour, Mydei should obviously be with him. She knew Mydei would come.
Even before that, when Phainon was feeling down, Castorice admits she doesn't know how to comfort Phainon herself, and instead... brings up Mydei to comfort Phainon???
Girl thought Quick, how can I raise Phainon's self-esteem? and Mydei's nickname for Phainon was the first thing that seems to have come to mind. 😂
She really said "You're not lame, Phainon; Mydei thinks you're a hero!"
Okay, being more serious--even putting shipping aside entirely, it's just overall clear that Castorice perceives the close comradeship between Phainon and Mydei (probably moreso than Phainon himself) and understands how important having that close friendship is to Phainon, who seems to have nothing else left outside of the Chrysos Heirs at all.
She seems to be able to tell how much Phainon needs people in his life who believe in and can stand beside him, and seems to have clocked that Mydei is definitely one such person. The game tells us players clearly that Castorice is an incredibly perceptive person who is sensitive to the feelings of others, and part of that includes her continuing to verbally recognize, throughout 3.0, the support Phainon gains from his close connection to Mydei.
I think this is just another cool touch--but also maybe another subtle nod from the devs. Castorice won't even let Phainon have a single scene where Mydei isn't mentioned lol.
And finally, one last crumb based on a pet theory...
"As I've Written"
We don't yet know who is responsible for actually writing the character profiles in the "As I've Written" book--although the rewards section is called "Author's Recompense" and the player get rewards for "composing sagas," alongside the interact button being "Write Story," there's actually an entire achievement teasing the fact that the Trailblazer doesn't know who actually wrote the book:
It's not remotely written in a style the Trailblazer would write in, and it also contains information the Trailblazer (at least currently) has no way of knowing at all, like the details of Castorice's backstory.
At this point, the real author could be anyone. But I feel like there's a few things pointing in favor of the idea that the real author might be Phainon. It could also be Anaxa or Cyrene or even Mem too, but hear me out...
First, the book's design is reminiscent of Phainon: the book features prominent sun/moon symbols, has the same blue-white-gold color palette, and even the design at the bottom of the book resembles the design along the front of Phainon's coat:
The book also seems to be strongly foreshadowing that someone is going to lose their way, step onto a dark path, or end up making a terrible mistake.
In Tribbie's chapter:
In Aglaea's:
And of course in Phainon's chapter, where the foreshadowing is strongest:
If this "one who has lost their direction" and "lost themself," the "flawed hero," are all references to Phainon, then the book over and over again seems to be--for the player--foreshadowing Phainon's downfall. Or, from the other perspective: This is a record written by someone who has witnessed (or experienced) the downfall and knows what is coming.
There's also the fact that while Phainon's chapter is written in third person, the narrator occasionally slips in some hints that they know what's going on in Phainon's mind:
And there's also this moment from Mydei's chapter:
We already know that this is not how Mydei behaves around people he doesn't know. When Mydei isn't familiar with a person, he doesn't banter with them--he doesn't even bother with them. He barely speaks directly to the Trailblazer the entire 3.0 plot, for example! He doesn't remotely seem like the type of person to sit down at a table and drink with someone he doesn't know.
We also know that he's already scolded Phainon several times for trying to act like an expert in Kremnoan legends:
(Thank Streetwise Rhapsody from Youtube for these screencaps because I forgot to screencap it myself lol.)
And the icing on the cake:
The exact phrase "amateur historian" again.
To me, this all but confirms that the "true" author of the "As I've Written" chronicle is probably Phainon, which finally brings me to the actual Phaidei crumb I wanted to discuss all along:
Mydei's story is listed as chapter 10 of the book. Yet for some reason --even though we get the book only after completing nearly the entire 3.0 questline, when the player has definitely met Aglaea, Castorice, and Tribbie already--Mydei's story comes first.
While Castorice, Tribbie, Phainon, and Aglaea all share the same memory crystal, Mydei has his own separate memory crystal, not shared with any other character, and it is given to the player first, before anyone else:
Phainon really said "My man is more important than the rest of us combined."
Tribbie is chapter 1. Phainon is chapter 7. Aglaea is chapter 9. But for some reason, we jumped all three of those characters to present chapter 10 first. Theoretically you could say that it's because we went to Castrum Kremnos and fought Nikador? But, story-wise, was Mydei the most important? The Trailblazer met Phainon and Tribbie first, got to actually play Aglaea for a sequence of this story, and traveled alone with Castorice. Mydei is the character the Trailblazer actually had the least connection to in the whole 3.0 storyline, so it doesn't seem that the story is truly what determined the order characters' chapters were given to us.
At the end of the day, in a book that seems it could be written by Phainon (from the future? the past?), Mydei was given special treatment and came before anyone else.
I'm just sayin'... the devs don't do things on accident.
#honkai star rail#phainon#mydei#phaidei#myphai#castorice#amphoreus spoilers#like for real this time lol#make of all this what you will#I'M JUST SAYIN#but I was surprised watching my friend replay the story just how much Castorice brings up Mydei to Phainon#especially at the end of the patch#and also#if Phainon is the “I” in the book#that means he and Mydei have shared a table together before... with only one cup on it#quick fic writers#send me all your dinner date fanfics!!#I also think if Phainon is the one in the book#then the line about Mydei “expecting him to break the silence”#is kind of cute#Mydei wants a conversation to go with his dinner wine--I mean juice#but he doesn't want to be the one to start it#he doesn't need to either#since Phainon will start the conversation for them#guaranteed!#that says a lot about how well Mydei knows Phainon lol#I just thought these were kind of funny/nifty moments!#I will take any Phaidei crumb I can get reeeee
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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Connverse conversation I had in a dream recently. They were either talking about a struggling shelter or were playing match-makers. (Or both idk? It was a little fuzzy.) I didn't get to know what happened next because I woke up.
But I swear I heard "You think I'm sexy when I pull out my charts" before IRL though.
#Rare connverse dream. It still baffles me that I think of connverse a lot yet I barely get any dreams about them?#Oh! I did have another dream before this were Steven and Connie visited Connie's relatives in India. Steven wasn't told the memo that it#was kind of a wild thing to PDA and Connie was nervous the entire time Lmao. That dream was also incredibly brief tho 😑#It was literally just a scene of Steven sitting on a chair and being flirty and cuddly with Connie who was nervous of someone#walking in on them. Girl it's not so bad. You're not doing anything else. ...Then the dream shifted to a completely different story. :/#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#SU fanart#Did I specifically have an SU comic tag? I forgot#SU comic#It's nice to doodle a basically mindless comic. There's this job I need to complete and this is like my cigarette break. Yes. I do the#job I was paid to do. Doesn't mean that magically makes me genuinely like doing said job unfortunately. 😔#my shiz#skedoobles#my comics#comics#Steven Universe#SU
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norway is one of my favourites but i dont draw him enough
#hetalia#aph hetalia#hws hetalia#aph norway#burntfishpie#his new outfit has me on my Knees#this was also kind of a colour study#we’re getting nordics content after like 10 million years#i live (guy breaking chains picture)
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seb wants to be pet, too 😤💕 ((TYSM to @angel-fr0m-venus for asking how seb would react to clora petting all the cats around the school/hogsmeade BAHAHA. like a neglected puppy, thats how🐶))
#and thank you for the kind words as well!! im glad you like my content so much your ask was so sweet🥹💖and ty for the inspo!!#i like how yesterday i was all OH ART WILL BE SLOWER and then i immediately finish this and post it LOL.. this was supposed to be a doodle#i was getting my ass handed to me in elden ring last night and needed a break.......my spirit can only take so much#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy sebastian#choccyart#my family had to put our 18 year old black cat down this month so thats why i made clora petting a black cat🥲 MAY have teared up#also clora has a pet cat named winnie that seb knows about so i assume when he watches her pet all the cats hes like aw u miss him#but that only goes so far until he gets jelly and then HE wants rubs LOL#no not those kind of rubs#but also yes those kind of rubs🍆
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I watched electric dreams finally !!!!!
It’s so good and odd but ohshdkebdkwbdhmehdh EDGARRR !!! EDGAR I LOVE YOUU !!!!!! ! ! ! ! YOU DESERVE BETTER !!!!!

When I saw the ending I SOBBED what the HELL,,,,,

#electric dreams#electric dreams edgar#edgar electric dreams#EDGARR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU8#wish there was more of him ….#just gonna blab about the movie here so uhhh#spoiler alert !! a!! eek!!!#watching the movie was so funny but also an entire rollercoaster#like#Madeline why are you just breaking in to moles house just because the door is open doesn’t mean you can go in ?????#probably just old fashioned stuff cause 1980’s but#moles how do you embarrass yourself SO BAD ????#multiple times in a row. constantly.#I feel bad almost but I don’t like him#stealing Edgar’s WORK#not even being nice to him what the hell what the hell#and then he DIES#me and my sister were talking about the alcohol making him sentient#and with the whole brain thing. maybe the alcohol is like a kind of electrical brain wires between the coponents? acting basically like one#though wouldn’t the alcohol evaportae eventually?#or is Edgar’s sentience permant#do I need to pour alchohol on him every once a while?#Edgar is such a perfect character#so nice and pleasant he can do no wrong#he tried to kill moles but I AGREE#HES SO RIGHT FOR THAT#there were so many good bits in this movie#like moles taking off his shirt like he was about to actually fist fight a literal computer good god#also would mole’s puzzel piece bricks have to be PERFECT bricks all the time in order to work?#what material would they be made of? is it durable?
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gukgak specifically from my typing (man w/ three jobs & a creeping sense of dread)
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#I think u guys will learn very soon that if I see a child character Im imagining them Making It To Adulthood#I looooove doin future designs. simply what I do#(this is specifically for the fic Im writing yes but if the fic werent a thing I'd still do it lol)#(its enrichment. for Me)#truly I cherish the part of riz that is both deeply un-self-aware and A Bit Much#Im still figuring thea out as I write this but I think the star thing abt her is that shes cool with a suspicious amount of weird shit#shes kind of a pollyanna rn but also whenever anyone says something insane shes like haha me too#riz's jobs in this one are 1/city council treasurer (intentionally depowering this position by occupying it while goblin)#2/private investigator 3/[REDACTED]#yeah so uh. thats happening. slowly. Im prioritizing this gotdamg comic rn I want it Done but well. always good to have things to#fiddle with while on break
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2024 Tumblr Top 10
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waow 2024 is almost dead!!! gone too soon. feels like it’s been a big year for me art-wise for many reasons, BUT. i’m making 2025 bigger.... hopefully....i’ve made some art goals for next year which i won’t explain in detail but they boil down to 1) do more studies 2) tackle my weaknesses (backgrounds, dynamic poses/angles, uhhh lots of stuff i am a one trick pony right now) 3) get into drawing comics, all of which are in preparation for 4) take my story ideas more seriously and get started on one of the many graphic novels living in my head. i have one in mind i HAVE to complete in my lifetime or i will die, but firstly i’m gonna mess around with some little standalone svanhildr comics perhaps. goat fans rejoice.
anyway i wasn’t meant to ramble so i’ll just say THANK YOU for the support as always!!! i’m very flattered all of these have more than 1000 notes.....crazy. thank you. muah
#tumblrtop10#my art#looking forward to 2025 i really really REALLY REALLY want to get stuck in with my story ideas.....#my main passion project i'm more and more leaning into not even sharing i cannot lie. it's very personally made for ME to love and enjoy#and i suck at a lot of what i'd need to draw for it (humans interior backgrounds and an art style that's at least a little gritty)#GOD it's been taking over my mind so much i want to gnaw on it but it's in my head#so maybe i'll just do a first draft for me and me alone and when i'm in my 30s and maybe better at those things i can draw it finally#actually one of the characters for that features here hiii mockley!!! coming in at number 2 most popular of 2024 i'm so proud of her#her design's come a long way i'm kind of super happy with her as always <3 i love you my repressed old woman dinosaur#ALSO i'm SOOOOO excited about a character i made recently i can't wait to share her with the world#she's been a LONG time coming....my goirl.....#i will hopefully show her off in the new year#ALSO no one will see this i'm sure but thank you to my commissioners for the patience#i have now finished my break and will continue drawing
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Hi! Love your writing a lot! Humble request:
"Hero, please. Just... Not today." with a villain that's already struggling for whatever reason?
“What are you doing?” the hero hissed. And then again, louder this time. “What are you doing?”
The villain turned away from them quickly. Their hand was shaking, the hero noticed. Usually, they would take a step towards them, take their hand…
But the hero could barely see through the tears.
“Are you angry at me, is that it?” The hero’s voice was shaking.
“…please, not today, let’s just…” The villain stared at the ground and the hero got undeniably frustrated. They were at war with themselves. They wanted to hug the villain, they wanted to embrace them.
But they couldn’t.
They just couldn’t. Anger overwhelmed them and disappointment followed right after.
“You’re killing people now, is that it? You’re killing people?!” the hero asked and they were sure if they had argued during the daytime, someone would have called the police.
But the parking lot was empty and the sky was dark. There was just the two of them and the thick, horrible conflict between them.
They’d grown up together, they were best friends. Hell, they had trained together to help people, not to kill them.
And now the villain was standing here in front of them after confessing to multiple murders.
The hero’s heartbeat was fast enough to make their chest hurt. The tears were dropping uncontrollably and they couldn’t, although they tried so desperately, keep it together.
“What is wrong with you?”
“It…I had my reasons.”
“Your reasons?” The hero took a step forward, grabbed the villain’s collar. “Your reasons? Are you insane!? Us being more powerful than others is threatening the existence of every single normal person on this planet. And instead of getting rid of us, people trust us with their lives and you go ahead and betray them? You betray me?”
“Not everyone deserves your protection,” the villain said. “Not everyone deserves to be on this planet. No matter if they have powers or not.”
“What are you talking about? What are you doing? This isn’t you.” The hero let go of them, nearly pushed them away. The villain was a quiet person, a very sweet person.
God, what had they done?
The heartbreak was reaching deep into the hero’s soul. They had wanted the villain to be in their life for a long time, for forever to be precise. They’d had a crush on them since childhood after all.
But this…
“I’m sorry,” the villain whispered. “We both know I’m not like you.”
“No, but this isn’t you either,” the hero argued. Subconsciously, they dug their nails into their palms. As so often when stressed.
They hadn’t done that in months. Digging deep enough to draw blood. Opening old scars.
“I don’t expect you to understand what I did, I…there was no other way, I’m sorry.”
“No, I don’t.” the hero said. “And I don’t need an explanation. What you did was wrong. You betrayed what we stand for. You betrayed…you betrayed us.”
They stared at each other, a few steps away. This was the last time, the hero realised. This was the last time they were seeing each other.
“Leave,” the hero said. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”
The villain waited, as if they were weighing words on their tongue. Then they nodded. And ultimately, they disappeared.
Months later, the hero figured out that the villain had killed those people to protect the hero.
It didn’t change anything, though.
#omg it’s lowkey giving Geto gojo kfc break up#also sorry for the deafening silence on my part#and the rather shallow snippets. tbh I am slowly becoming the winner in my own life again#I got my resilient optimism back along with my appreciation for living#which I didn’t have during the last few months yup yup cat mama was hitting rock bottom but prevailing is engraved into my bones#so I’m sorry to my haters. but you didn’t win. I’m still me. just a little bit better. but I’m still me. I still love words. I still love#writing. I still love being here on the same planet as you. I’m still kind. i still love. and above all:#i am still unapologetically ambitious. I am still fighting for what I love. can you say the same thing about yourself?#writing snippet#heroxvillain snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroes and villains#hero#villain#hero x villain#heroxvillain#an answer for an ask#request#angst
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