#and also seeing the utter decline in organization in my folders as time went on
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in my monthly “mourning the part of me that died last year” era
#trying to finish up my resume so i can ask ppl for letters of rec#scrolling thru my photos trying to find proof of what exactly i did#going through spring 2023 and now fall 2022.#i just. argh#im so much better now than i was at this point last year#and words cant even really describe how much better i am now#or even rather just. how much WORSE i was last year#i just. im finally getting motivation again to like put my life back together and learn how to be a human being again#and now looking at my shit from january 2023 and being like. oh yeah. this is exactly why im having to put myself back together again#im like so proud of myself now for like putting 5 clothes away per day to clean up my room#so im like wow im making progress yay#and so then its like. oh. stark reminder as to the exact soul crushing dark depths of my soul that led me to this point in the first place#brot posts#also going thru all my old school homework and textbook files and its like. damn. i used to be about that life#and also seeing the utter decline in organization in my folders as time went on#like girl you can see the depression coming over me just in the file structures …#and also how more and more homeworks get skipped like oh HW7. then HW9. no hw8… cuz i didnt gaf anymore#meanwhile my first two years were so meticulously organized and well kept. and never missing an assignment
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