#going through spring 2023 and now fall 2022.

[oflgtfol]

in my monthly “mourning the part of me that died last year” era

[plasticflwrs]

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ DISCOGRAPHY — Under the cut, you will find an IN DEPTH look into the career of South Korea's favorite idol band, Plastic Flowers. Beginning in 2016, they would rebrand after failing to make a profit in 2017 and find true success with TEETH in 2020, just a few months before their 16 month hiatus would begin. In 2022, they came back stronger than ever with I'M ALIVE and have consistently topped the music charts since. They are known for their promotional style which revolves around a spring and fall release each other, amounting to about 16 releases across singles, minis, their three full studio albums. Despite their constant stream of releases, the quality never suffers despite being completely self-produced since all five members are now involved in the writing process.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ TRIGGER WARNINGS — Death of a parent, descriptive mention of eating disorders + treatment ( 2021 section ). If this piece is too triggering, please DM and I can give you a summary of what happens!

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2016 !

Compared to their underground counterparts, idol bands have been relatively successful in the past as seen with FNC's trio of FT Island, CNBLUE, and N.Flying along with JYP's newest venture, Day6. However, Plastic Flowers would fall under the radar due to the influx of third generation groups debuting between 2014 and 2016 with all three of the major companies debuting at least one new group during that time. Plastic Flowers would debut as four members with SALEM, DAL, JIHUN, and GWYN on May 15, 2016 with the lead single SCARED from their single album LET ME GO. While the two songs were praised by music critics, it failed to reach the general public. Along with their other single album, it would sell 46 copies total within the year and has never been reprinted. Original copies of the album are priced very high on second-hand selling websites and no "real fans" currently own a copy. LET ME GO and MENTALISM were even taken off of all major streaming platforms until fans demanded for it's return in 2022.

MV VIEWS: 1.2 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

In their debut, Plastic Flowers explores themes of fear and insecurity through the song SCARED. The lyrics suggest hesitant to approach someone and an inability to express oneself freely, with most fans interpreting this to relate to Salem's original group THE BIG GLOOM, which she left the year prior. The phrase why are you scared? repeats throughout the song and highlights a sense of frustration with the fear and reluctance in their relationship, despite attempts to change. The narrator yearns for reassurance and validation, seeking comfort in the hope that their fears and uncertainties will fade away.

This line-up would release their second and final single album MENTALISM in November of 2016 with the title track MOUSE. This would be a continuation of their previous release, in terms of themes and inability to perform well on music charts. Though Mouse is beloved by fans now, it made no noise in 2016 and remains their worst performing single of all time, selling even worse than their debut single. Mentalism marked their first attempts at performing at small venues like bars and other restaurants, however, due to Oliver's age, they were often denied by the promotional teams. They would return to busking and posting covers in hopes of gaining more fans. At the end of 2016, it was announced by Superbloom Media would be placed on INDEFINITE HIATUS as they evaluated where to go forward. DAL and JIHUN would leave not long after, moving to larger companies and debuting in traditional idol groups instead.

MV VIEWS: 3.9 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0.

In 2024, MOUSE is often compared to their later b-side BRAND NEW CITY from their 2023 album OHIO IMPROMPTU. Both discuss the sense of dread from being in one's prime and dreading what comes later. Mouse is described as what happens after the narrator of Brand New City moves and realizes that they need to find a way to survive, that simply moving was not enough to change their feelings and create happiness. The narrator vows to "find love / and find a way to survive here", giving them a new sense of hope for the remaining time that they have and will move on from the silence.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2017 !

In September 2017, Plastic Flowers would return with an almost completely new lineup composed of SALEM, JUNYEONG, MINGHUI, SERIN, and OLIVER. Oliver would drop his initial stage name, Gwyn, during this rebrand for an unknown reason, though he still uses it to produce for other groups. They would release ROCKSTAR from the album SOCIAL REJECTS to limited success. They would sell 99 copies of their third single album, doubling the previous records set by LET ME GO and MENTALISM. Superbloom Media would also shift their promotional style in favor of the more traditional idol route, getting them performances on Music Bank and The Show for three weeks.

MV VIEWS: 3.4 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0.

ROCKSTAR moves away from their traditional melancholic sound for more critiques of the social landscape. Rockstar explores themes of frustration and defiance in the face of judgement and control from others. They are seen as a suspect, watched closely, and labeled as a hopeless murder by those around them. Similar to their other tracks, this is believed to have been written after the conflict with The Big Gloom and is Salem's take on it. Those around the narrator continuously reject and oppose them, leading to a growing sense of resentment with the world around them. The chorus emphasizes the narrator's resolve to stay true to themselves because they believe they are doing nothing wrong. This song would be revisited in 2024 and a re-recording with new pianist Oh Deurim would be included in their third studio album RUTHLESS ROCKSTARS as a b-side.

With a small but mighty fanbase under their belt, Plastic Flowers would return in December 2017 with their first mini-album NORTH STAR, which had five songs including the title track FREEDOM. This release would double their catalogue and allow for slow growth across the next few years. THE BIG GLOOM, composed of the four original members, would also release their newest album over Soundcloud that same day, leading to tensions amongst new and old fans as the debate of what Salem should have done returned. Rather than alienating the old fans, they went back to their old sound to prove that nothing has changed and Plastic Flowers will only be a better version of her previous band. NORTH STAR was promoted similarly to their previous single album with performances on all major South Korean music shows and even an appearance on The After School Club to connect with international fans.

MV VIEWS: 6.7 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

FREEDOM returns to their original sound with the themes of liberation and desire to break from societal constraints from ROCKSTAR still following them. Freedom opens with lyrics expressing uncertainty about what to sing about, overwhelmed by the abundance of refrain in the world and emphasizes their understanding of the path that they have chosen. The narrator proclaims that they have finally found their own way and the metaphor of cutting the moon and devouring the night suggests a rebellious mindset, choosing to defy expectations and live freely. Freedom encourages fans to let go of the norm and find their own path, breaking from societal expectations for their own happiness.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2018 !

2018 would cement Superbloom's promotional style for Plastic Flowers as they release an album in the spring and fall, the seasons in which they have found the band to be most popular in. The first release of 2018 was HIGHER & HIGHER, their second mini-album with the lead single LET'S GET LOST. This release continued their momentum forward and there was nothing out of the ordinary during this era. They were slowly being included in more variety shows, as seen by their joint appearance with Day6 on Weekly Idol and their first invitations to a major award show with the Golden Disc Awards and Seoul Music Awards. They were not nominated or even performed, but their photos from the red carpet got people talking about the unknown group.

MV VIEWS: 5.7 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

By now, Plastic Flowers had also shown what their lyrical concept would be as they created another song about escaping hardships of life and embarking on a journey of self-discovery. The narrator has a desire to let go of the past and leave behind anything that feels uncertain in LET'S GET LOST. The verses encourages themselves and their companions to leave behind their negative experiences as they "open the curtains" and lock the door behind them. Later lines capture the excitement of encountering new experiences and embracing the unknown, showing their growth away from the past that seemed to follow them and rising above.

LOVE ME? would be the last Plastic Flowers album fully written and produced solely by SALEM and Superbloom's in-house production team. All of the members were growing interested in producing their own music, especially the two youngest members—Serin and Oliver. They had submitted drafts to Superbloom for Love Me?, however they were not chosen. Interviews this era were a bit tense because of this and Salem wanting to keep her creative control over the group. Superbloom would also give Plastic Flowers their first reality show, FLOWER SHOWERS, which followed them around and tried to show fans the "real" members.

MV VIEWS: 6.3 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

TWENTY-ONE revolves around the themes of heartbreak, disappointment, and the realization that a once-special relationship has come to an end. The lyrics depict the emotions of someone who believed their relationship was unique and meaningful, only to discover that their partner does not feel the same. This is famously thought to be about former bandmate YING SHUHANG, more commonly known by his stage name IRUM. Throughout high school and much of their career together, they dated and broke up around the same time Salem left to join Superbloom Media. Through this song, she is coming to terms with the relationship being over after asking "why don't you adore me?" over and over again. She uses the concept of sleep and going to be bed to bury the past and move on from the relationship, showing that she would be ready to move on once she wakes up.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2019 !

Plastic Flowers would release HYPOCREEP in March 2019, right before OLIVER was set to appear on the new survival talent competition show SUPERBAND, produced by JTBC. Despite the sound change, Hypocreep was met with positive reaction from fans and is their first mini-album to sell over 1,000 copies in the first month. It is often seen as a turning point for the band as their releases following would follow a similar sound and is the first song to credit another band member besides Salem, that being OLIVER. This would be the first of a long partnership between the two that would eventually fizzle out during their 2022 hiatus. Hypocreep is also one of the most popular songs for other idols and bands to cover given the technical requirements of each instrument.

MV VIEWS: 7.4 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 0.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

HYPOCREEP expresses frustration towards people who are hypocritical and fake, particularly those who are thirsty for drama and attention on the internet. The singer identifies as a "hypocreep," which is a term they use to describe themselves as a different breed of person who is hyper and freaky. The singer acknowledges that they may be seen as strange or abnormal to others, but they do not care because those same people secretly wish they could be like the singer.

While Hypocreep opened the door for other members writing, THE CHAIN would be the first time another member would sing on a Plastic Flowers track. The Chain is a duet between Salem and Oliver and would mark the beginning for a lead singer change. It was under the direction of Kim Yuchan, a first generation soloist, and he advised the change since Oliver was well liked by the general public after Superband. THE CHAIN still remains a fan favorite song and would give the band their first award show nomination on Show! Music Core, much to the band's surprise. Most of the members recall this era as the first time they actually felt loved by the audience and could see people singing along.

MV VIEWS: 10.2 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 1.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

The main message of THE CHAIN is that relationships can be enduring, even if they have difficulties. The first verse describes the struggles of having a relationship and feeling powerless to their partner's actions. They discuss the idea that a love can endure even in these moments of darkness, as the lover is trying to tell the other that they would never break the chain that binds them together. There is a strong guitar and bass solo--played by SALEM and OLIVER--that represents the strong connection between them that won't be broken so easily. The end is a plea to stay together, to keep the chain together, and not run into the shadows away from each other.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2020 !

Fans of Plastic Flowers fall into two camps for their 2020 releases: either loving it or hating everything it stands for. Due to it's "inappropriate lyrics" FOR YOUR LOVE was banned by all the major South Korean music shows and would be promoted in a series of live concerts instead. They would instead promote READY TO FLY as their title track for this era, saving the performances of For Your Love for their smaller performances. Not long after the conclusion of For Your Love's promotions, Superbloom Media would confirm SALEM and OLIVER's relationhip, which had begun at the end of the year prior. This would be another reason why people did not like the song as it showed their relationship was taking away from making songs about important topics, not just each other.

MV VIEWS: 29.2 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. Banned.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. Banned.

FOR YOUR LOVE talks about the desire to please and satisfy someone in a romantic relationship. The lyrics in the verses describe the singer's intent to be the first thing on the person's mind and engage in sexual activity with them. The chorus reinforces the theme of doing anything for the person they love. The bridge highlights the singer's willingness to give everything they have to their partner and the importance of communication in the relationship. The outro repeats the sentiment that the singer is willing to do anything for their partner's love. 

TEETH, and it's accompanying album LOVESICKNESS, continues with the themes from FOR YOUR LOVE. Unlike the previous song, it was actually allowed on music shows and was loved by their fanbase for the aesthetics that came with it. Due to the show going semi-viral on TWITTER thanks to a tweet by a poppy asking "what business Plastic Flowers had releasing" the song, LOVESICKNESS sold over 10,000 copies by the end of the year. This would also be the final time they were promote prior to their 16 month hiatus, making it special to their fans. Teeth would later become a sleeper hit by going viral once again and entering the top 10 on the Circle Chart after being used on an OST.

MV VIEWS: 229.6 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 3.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

The major themes of TEETH relate to toxic and tumultuous relationships, with the lyrics depicting the ups and downs of being someone that can be both loving and hurtful. Written completely by OLIVER, many fans have begun to debate the real meaning of the song as it relates to his former relationship with Salem. In TEETH, the protagonist realizes that the person they are with is full of contradictions as they compare their lover to a pair of teeth. The lover's heart is described as having teeth, meaning that while they may talk sweetly, they can also hurt and bite. The relationship is very complicated, in which both parties are hurting each other but can't let go with the narrator realizing that they are losing themself by the end of the song and maybe even the relationship.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2021 !

The GOODNIGHT era was spent dreading what would come next for Plastic Flowers. It was obvious that the members were losing steam as shown by their smaller performances and the constant cancellation of their performances at their bar, Cheeky's. The release of 403 only made that worse as they went back to the melancholic sound and promotions outside of music shows were cut short. In fear of losing the band, Poppies made sure that it sold well, achieving a record-breaking 14,000 copies in the first month alone and securing them more music show nominations. However, it seemed that nothing they were doing was enough as Plastic Flowers slowly slipped away from the public eye.

MV VIEWS: 122.9 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 3.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 0

403 focuses on liberation and moving forward from a difficult past. In the verses, detachment and release from pain and regret is encouraged alongside the image of taking off one's shoes and lying on the floor as an escape. The narrator wants the listener to forget about the past and focus on the possibilities of the future, becoming an active participant in their life rather than remaining passive. There is a reoccurring theme of breaking free as shown through the lyrics "get up in the morning" and "get out of deception", indicating the need to rise above negative situations and leave them behind. It suggests that nothing valuable can be obtained by staying where they are currently and encourages them to let go and move on.

Despite GOODNIGHT selling well, Plastic Flowers were put on an unofficial hiatus two months after it's initial release. Superbloom would be intentionally vague about the details behind the scenes to keep everything under wraps, however, sasaengs exposed the truth. Not only were they on hiatus to "fight burnout", but Oliver had returned to his hometown of Boston after the death of his father and Jiyeon had been checked into an eating disorder treatment by their manager, Cheon Garam. During this time, Salem and Oliver would also BREAK UP, creating a new tension within the band. The band's social media—both company owned and personal—would go completely dormant from March 2021 to April 2022, leaving many to believe that the group would never return and would be lost just before they achieved stardom.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2022 !

Just when most fans began to lose hope for Plastic Flowers to comeback, Superbloom did the unthinkable: dropping a new set of teasers for a full album called INTERNET BLUES. During this time, it was also revealed that MINGHUI had left the band and was replaced by Timefighter contestant OH DEURIM, who had failed to make it into the debut line-up by one place. According to Minghui, he left on good terms with the members but could no longer handle the idol life anymore. Despite how protective poppies are, they surprisingly welcomed Deurim with open arms and wanted to see what she could bring to the table. INTERNET BLUES would be released on May 5, 2022 with the title track I'M ALIVE, which secured them their FIRST WIN and first NOMINATION at a major award show after selling 100,000 copies.

MV VIEWS: 392.9 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 8.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 2.

I'M ALIVE is an uplifting song that talks about the feeling of overcoming challenges and persevering through tough times. They promise that even in the midst of uncertainty and darkness, the singer declares that they will keep themselves alive. The chorus serves as a mantra of sorts as the singer repeatedly affirms that they are alive and won't give up. The idea of "highlight" suggests that even in the bleakest moments of life, one can find something beautiful to hold onto. The bridge encourages listeners to keep searching, keep breathing, and keep alive. It's a call to action to hold onto life and never give up. 

Plastic Flowers would return to their original promotional schedule with the release of PSYCHO, the title track for their first studio album, CALL ME CRAZY that November. The studio album was celebrated by all fans as it finally meant that Plastic Flowers were confirming that they were here to stay despite their earlier issues. The members looked so much more alive this era and they even held their first FAN SIGN, which went as well as expected. The members had fun with their fans, but hated the constant requests for cuteness or prying into their personal relationships. They would hold their own formal CONCERT, with over three thousand people in attendance.

MV VIEWS: 323.4 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 9.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 3.

PSYCHO explores themes of obsession and dependency in a relationship. The lyrics depict a protagonist who is deeply infatuated with someone to the point of being obsessed, as represented by the repeated phrase "I can't stop thinking about you." The protagonist seeks answers and validation from a doctor, indicating a desperation for a solution to their intense emotions. They recognize their own exaggerated behavior, acknowledging that they may appear crazy or "psycho" to others. The chorus reinforces the protagonist's obsession, stating that they cannot live a day without thinking about this person. It conveys a sense of dependency and the idea that the protagonist's life revolves entirely around the object of their affection.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ THE YEAR IS ... 2023 !

Coming into 2023, Poppies were promised many exciting things from the band. In March, Oliver's solo BURNOUT SYNDROME with the lead single STARTING LINE would be released to overwhelming success, cementing his popularity with the general public and showing everyone that he was here to stay. Though fans were happy for him, the same could not be said for his bandmates as SALEM and JUNYEONG began a smear campaign that lasted throughout the entire promotional period. Oliver would ignore any questions about the situation and chose to move on from it instead, celebrating his own achievements rather than focusing on those around him. In June, the band would come back as five to release LOVE AND WAR with the lead single of the same name, which became their best selling record at that point at just under 1 million copies.

MV VIEWS: 748.3 million.

MUSIC SHOW NOMINATIONS. 10.

MUSIC SHOW WINS. 7.

WAR tells the story of a broken relationship, in which the narrator realizes there isn't much to save if they cannot stop fighting. They are beginning to realize there isn't much to save and they have lost their love for each other, leading towards a state of emptiness or insignificance. The song's title WAR comes from the lyric "war of attrition without benefit", highlight that this war between the lovers is doing nothing to help with their current problems. The narrator wants to call a ceasefire, but it seems that their relationship's end if inevitable. Written by Oliver, many fans believe that this song was written about the end of his relationship with Salem, which has never been confirmed or denied by Oliver or Superbloom Media.

[lfc21]

Sleepless nights

Player: Jordan Henderson

TW: Fluff, crying, children

Prompt list: Children

"Jordan" You mumbled with your eyes squeezed shut and your head breaking at every noise. It was the 3rd time you had been woken up in the past hour and you weren't sure how much longer you could take.

"Jordan" You repeated slightly louder this time as well as knocking his arm for him to wake up. You got nothing. You were currently transitioning your daughter from your bedroom to her own and it was turning into quite a task.

"Jordan!" You shouted this time as your eyes shot open and your voice became like venom. You were fed up with Jordan's deep sleep and loud snores, all you wanted was a rest.

"Hmmm" Jordan mumbled as he turned into his pillow and looked at you with tired eyes. You simply nodded your head towards the door causing Jordan's ears to spring up due to the noise echoing down the hall. "Is it my turn?" Jordan asked with a yawn as he threw the duvet off his legs and braced impact for the cold night air on his flesh.

"It was your turn two turns ago" You dryly remarked as you rolled your eyes in the cold dark room. You knew the idea of Jordan comforting your daughter was only going to end in him not letting go of her. It was never a good idea but you knew it was better than you turning into a zombie and getting no sleep. You felt the weight of Jordan's body fall from your bed before you stretched out into the middle of the mattress. You shut your eyes as you heard Jordan's footsteps and voice through the hall, he had already gone soft at the sight of his crying baby. He softly opened her door revealing his small angel.

"Hello, you" Jordan softly said with a huge smile as she turned her head to the side and noticed her father. Her sobs fell quiet and her toothy grin sent a giggle to Jordan's sweet body. He scooped her up as he wiped away the tears that sat on her cheeks. She was now silent, knowing she had gotten what she wanted. She may have been a few months old but she was already more than aware of how to play her father. "Do you want to stay with me and mummy?" Jordan asked knowing no matter what happened she would end up with you both anyway.

Before you knew it Jordan was already bursting through your bedroom door with the biggest smile on his face and his arms filled with your baby. You sat up knowing exactly what he was going to do.

"Babe you can't let her sleep with us she has to learn to sleep on her own" You tried to explain with an annoyed tone in your voice. It was hard as it was, but when Jordan kept ruining her patterns it made everything worst.

"But look at her little face," Jordan said as he flicked on the big light and created a huge light to parade in your room. You quickly covered your eyes with the duvet in the bright light.

"Jordan seriously" You quickly warned. "It's half 3 in the morning" You added not wanting to start your day this early, Jordan simply laughed causing little giggles to fall from your daughter's mess. Your heart swelled at the sound that always made you soft. You looked up at your two loves knowing your opinion had completely changed. "Come in then" You softly said with a smile as you made room for them both in the large bed. Jordan practically jumped into bed as your daughter giggled at every movement of her father, she was finally content. Next to her parents was the only place she finally found happiness in, one day she will learn that sleeping on her own wasn't so scary but also sleeping with her parents wasn't so bad as well.

Hey guys 👋🏻 I hope you enjoyed this imagine 😀 there are a few titles left on the prompt list 💖 please leave feedback and requests as they are greatly appreciated 🥰 masterlist 2022 💌 masterlist 2023 💌

@prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @robbothegoat @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @tsimikasfamily @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexycancerian @hendersons1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches @tsimikxs @tsimikostas @trentalexarnofan @leddows @moneymasnn @superkittywonderland @virgilvansike @virgilvandickmedown @hopefulromantic1 @robbo-trent-fanfiction26

[april-is]

April 29, 2023: June, Alex Dimitrov

June Alex Dimitrov

There will never be more of summer than there is now. Walking alone through Union Square I am carrying flowers and the first rosé to a party where I’m expected. It’s Sunday and the trains run on time but today death feels so far, it’s impossible to go underground. I would like to say something to everyone I see (an entire city) but I’m unsure what it is yet. Each time I leave my apartment there’s at least one person crying, reading, or shouting after a stranger anywhere along my commute. It’s possible to be happy alone, I say out loud and to no one so it’s obvious, and now here in the middle of this poem. Rarely have I felt more charmed than on Ninth Street, watching a woman stop in the middle of the sidewalk to pull up her hair like it’s an emergency—and it is. People do know they’re alive. They hardly know what to do with themselves. I almost want to invite her with me but I’ve passed and yes it’d be crazy like trying to be a poet, trying to be anyone here. How do you continue to love New York, my friend who left for California asks me. It’s awful in the summer and winter, and spring and fall last maybe two weeks. This is true. It’s all true, of course, like my preference for difficult men which I had until recently because at last, for one summer the only difficulty I’m willing to imagine is walking through this first humid day with my hands full, not at all peaceful but entirely possible and real.

--

(June is my birthday month and also the best month. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.)

More like this:   » Steps, Frank O'Hara   » After Work, Richard Jones   » Dolores Park, Keetje Kuipers   » Awaking in New York, Maya Angelou   » A Step Away From Them, Frank O'Hara

Today in: 

2022: Poem to My Child, If Ever You Shall Be, Ross Gay 2021: Choi Jeong Min, Franny Choi 2020: Earl, Louis Jenkins 2019: Kul, Fatimah Asghar 2018: My Life Was the Size of My Life, Jane Hirshfield 2017: I Would Ask You To Reconsider The Idea That Things Are As Bad As They’ve Ever Been, Hanif Abdurraqib 2016: Tired, Langston Hughes 2015: Democracy, Langston Hughes 2014: Postscript, Seamus Heaney 2013: The Ghost of Frank O’Hara, John Yohe 2012: All Objects Reveal Something About the Body, Catie Rosemurgy 2011: Prayer, Marie Howe 2010: The Talker, Chelsea Rathburn 2009: There Are Many Theories About What Happened, John Gallagher 2008: bon bon il est un pays, Samuel Beckett 2007: Root root root for the home team, Bob Hicok 2006: Fever 103°, Sylvia Plath 2005: King Lear Considers What He’s Wrought, Melissa Kirsch

[mikazuki1709]

Portfolio: Kaeluc Fics

I am currently trying to organize my stuff here on tumblr a little bit. This is a list of all the fics I wrote about Kaeluc. It's a lot because I have been obsessed with this ship for years now. 😂

To this point I have written 171.436 words about them. I guess you could say I love them a totally normal amount. 😝

🦚 🦉

*~♥~*

2023:

A warm place to call home - One stormy night, Kaeya knocks on the door of his former home with a fluffy bundle in his hand. What starts as a simple incident soon and unexpectedly turns into an opportunity for the relationship between two estranged young men (G-Rating, 4.611 words)

For better, for worse, forever - Almost ten years have passed since Kaeya and Diluc got married, and together they have seen good times and bad. As they reminisce, they decide that after some really tough years, it is high time to make some beautiful new memories (G-Rating, 2.168 words)

He loves me, he loves me not - Young Master Kaeya is a man with many admirers. When he one day receives an anonymous love letter, hope awakens in him that it could be from his Diluc, who he is secretly in love with. His attempts to find out who is behind the letter cause his sworn brother a great deal of awkwardness (G-Rating, 4.901 words)

Husbands - The day of the wedding is finally there and many things go through Kaeya's mind while he waits for his future husband to arrive (G-Rating, 1.212 words)

Letters of love and affection - While Kaeya knows many ways to show affection, sometimes an old-fashioned handwritten letter still remains the best way to express his feelings (G-Rating, 1.013 words)

Make your move - When Kaeya comes to the Angel's Share to relax after a long week at work, he finds Diluc teaching chess to the traveler. The sight stirs up complicated feelings in him, but Diluc shows him that the game they used to play so much when they were younger and happier can still teach him a lesson or two about life, love and everything in between (G-Rating, 2.277 words)

Moonlight dancing - After the wedding, Kaeya and Diluc welcome their guests to the winery to celebrate with them. There is music and there is dance, and Diluc cannot help but reminisce about some fond memories from the past (G-Rating, 1.583 words)

More than mere child's play - Diluc overhears Kaeya playing a game of Truth or Dare, and perhaps he is a little too interested in the truth his former sworn brother has to tell (G-Rating, 1.575 words)

Sharing a blanket, sharing warmth - At several points in his life, Diluc finds himself forced to share a bed with Kaeya. In retrospect, it is always these nights that become important for the two of them (G-Rating, 2.930 words)

The joys of summer - Newly married, Kaeya and Diluc set off on a journey to Inazuma, where they discover the beauties of a foreign culture together (G-Rating, 2.843 words)

The language of the heart - The guestlist, the decoration, the flowers - Diluc would never have expected the wedding preparations to be this complicated. Luckily, Adelinde is there to help (G-Rating, 1.756 words)

Two glasses - It is no secret that Diluc neither likes the taste nor the effect of alcohol. Still, in the night before Kaeya's birthday, he sits down with a bottle of wine and a lot of thoughts in his head (G-Rating, 1.041 words)

Warm - Kaeya has always loved it when Diluc has held his hand. When they get closer again years after their falling out, such touches are suddenly no longer a matter of course, and Kaeya cannot help but miss them (G-Rating, 1.388 words)

Would you still love me? - When Kaeya returns from his trip to Sumeru, Diluc immediately notices that something is wrong. It takes a lot of patience before his friend finally pours out his heart to him in a special place on a frosty spring night (G-Rating, 2.499 words)

2022:

A Cavalry Captain's struggle - As the Knights Of Favonius' Cavalry Captain, young Diluc has to present his profession to the children of Mondstadt's kindergarten. He asks Kaeya to help him with this task (G-Rating, 1.390 words)

A game of truth - Kaeya challenges Diluc to a game of chess. The loser has to drink a truth potion, the winner gets to ask three questions. However, he has not expected that Diluc, just like him, agrees with certain ulterior motives (G-Rating, 1.755 words)

A lazy lunch break - Kaeya and Diluc are enjoying their lunch break together at Windrise. When Diluc falls asleep, Kaeya uses the chance to look closely at his friend's features and discovers a detail he enjoys more than anything else (G-Rating, 844 words)

Close to you - Kaeya is worried because Diluc is clearly overworked and needs some rest, but is too stubborn to admit it to himself or anyone else. Only after he has fallen ill does he realise that Kaeya was right and accepts his request to take a short vacation together. They set off together for Liyue, where they spend a few pleasant days and grow closer again, both emotionally and physically (E-Rating, 9.561 words)

Comfort Habits - When Diluc gets a report that Kaeya was seen at the Statue Of The Seven, catching crystalflies, he knows immediately what the other needs. But with things being so difficult between them, is he really the one to offer him comfort? (G-Rating, 2.165 words)

Everything I want to see - When they were children, Diluc made a promise to Kaeya, but was not able to keep it back then. For a long time, the promise seems forgotten and unattainable, but many years later they both find out that it just took a little bit longer than expected for the right moment to arrive (G-Rating, 2.605 words)

Fools in love - Kaeya bought a gift for Diluc but does not dare to give it to him. Rosaria is annoyed, but still decides to help to finally get her favourite drinking buddy back (G-Rating, 715 words)

I'll be here - When Kaeya borrows a shirt from Diluc, the sight of the other's body, so clearly changed over the years they have been apart, triggers an inner turmoil in the redheaded man (G-Rating, 903 words)

Lost and found - Mondstadt and the Windblume festival just belong together, but although Kaeya loves his adopted home, he does not only hold good memories of the celebrations (G-Rating, 2.829 words)

Seven Flowers - Young Jean tells Diluc and Kaeya about a flower magic that can show you who you will spend your life with later. When Diluc wants to try it out, Kaeya worries: who does his sworn brother hope to see in this prophecy? (G-Rating, 1.229 words)

Small favours - When Diluc asks Kaeya to put some sun lotion on his back, who is he to refuse the request? (G-Rating, 1.260 words)

Sunburnt - Kaeya is having a good time at the Golden Apple Archipelago. Seeing him like this brings a lot of complicated emotions back to Diluc (G-Rating, 1.332 words)

The brothers - Young Diluc and Kaeya are confused when the other Knights Of Favonius suddenly seem to look down on them and no longer even want to talk to them. Jean helps the two to clear up the underlying misunderstanding (G-Rating, 1.105 words)

The empty room - Little Kaeya is feeling very lost and lonely after his arrival at the Ragnvindr estate. When Diluc finds out, he does his best to console his new friend (G-Rating, 889 words)

The fever - Kaeya falls asleep at the Angel's Share because he has caught a fever. Diluc wants to take care of him, but struggles with his own contradictory feelings (G-Rating, 1.448 words)

The picture - While looking through the drawers of his desk in search of a quill, Diluc discovers an old picture of him, his father and Kaeya. It brings back a lot of memories and he can't help but wonder what his former sworn brother did with his copy of the photograph. When he coincidentally finds out the answer a little later, it unsettles him a lot (T-Rating, 6.137 words)

The promise - Even in the city of freedom, not everybody agrees with young Kaeya and Diluc having a relationship. Master Crepus has his own thoughts on the matter, but his life ends before he can share them with the two young men. Many years later, be it by chance or by fate, his message reaches them after all (G-Rating, 6.151 words)

The question - There are times when Kaeya just feels insecure and alienated from himself. One night he finds a little comfort in a place where he had not expected to experience something like this ever again (G-Rating, 1.591 words)

The secret plan - It is not a secret in Mondstadt that Kaeya Alberich does not like to celebrate his birthday. Diluc thinks that this is not okay, and he is not alone in his opinion. With determination and dedication he sets about preparing an unforgettable birthday for his beloved (M-Rating, 11.760 words)

The tattoo - Kaeya tells Diluc that he wants to get a tattoo. Diluc soon regrets not telling his friend that he does not like that idea at all… (G-Rating, 774 words)

The War In Your Eyes - Kaeya wakes up in his appartment after a night of drinking. Next to him lies the corpse of another knight, pierced by his sword. He has no memory of what happened and no idea what to do now. Diluc learns of the suspicions against his former sworn brother and can no longer pretend to be indifferent. Both have to work together to clarify what really happened and are forced to face their greatest fears and doubts in the process. (T-Rating, 39.624 words)

The winter storm - Nobody wants to be alone during the darkest days of the year around midwinter. When a snowstorm sweeps over Mondstadt, Kaeya and Diluc suddenly find themselves separated from each other, but at the same time in unexpected company. They find out that even spontaneous changes of plans can have their very own charm (G-Rating, 5.064 words)

Things left unsaid - It was a rainy day when both Diluc and Kaeya lost everything that was important to them. Estranged from each other, they parted ways. But does it really have to end like this or can their relationship be mended? (E-Rating, 18.557 words)

Today, here and now - Diluc's birthday is approaching and Kaeya is unsure what to do: He wants to be there for him because he knows very well that it is a tough day for his friend, but does Diluc want him around at all? And is there anything he can do to help and make this day the happy occasion Diluc deserves in honour of his birthday? (G-Rating, 3.311 words)

Trapped - The Acting Grand Master informs Diluc that Kaeya did not return from one of his missions. Diluc does not hesitate and sets out to find him, but things don't work out the way he had planned it (G-Rating, 2.562 words)

Under The Summer Moon - Kaeya was hoping for some quality time with Diluc at the Golden Apple Archipelago, but their travel group grew a little bit bigger than expected. When he wakes up in the middle of the night to the bright light of a huge moon, he knows their chance has come (G-Rating, 2.704 words)

2021:

A suspicious gift - Diluc receives a mysterious present that sends him down memory lane (G-Rating, 433 words)

A very peculiar feeling - Young Kaeya wonders: Why is it that he can't hold his sworn brother's hand anymore without getting nervous? (G-Rating, 643 words)

For better or for worse - Once upon a time, two boys swore an oath to each other. Many years later, one of them is no longer sure if the other even remembers it (G-Rating, 1.646 words)

Leaving you breathless - Diluc can't accept losing to Kaeya. Luckily, he has a plan (G-Rating, 235 words)

The black market auction - Kaeya tries to infiltrate Liyue's underworld undercover. When Diluc also turns up on the scene, he fears for the success of his plan. What brings the other man into the city in the first place, and can Kaeya stop him from revealing his identity? (G-Rating, 2.166 words)

The dessert - It is Kaeya's birthday and Diluc invites him to the winery to have dinner together. It turns out that he has prepared a special treat for dessert (T-Rating, 1.080 words)

The last waltz - The last dance of the New Year's Ball always has a special meaning in Mondstadt, so Diluc gathers all his courage to be able to dance it with someone special to him (G-Rating, 798 words)

The secret competition - Everybody in Mondstadt is excited about a new kind of game. Kaeya and Diluc also enter the competition for the first place (G-Rating, 1.520 words)

The Windblume offering - For his achievements in the Knights Of Favonius, young Diluc is appointed as Windblume Star. But what flower will he choose as an offering to Barbatos? (G-Rating, 810 words)

Walking in your shoes - Kaeya and Diluc find out what it means to take the other's position for one day. They both handle the situation quite differently (G-Rating, 1.265 words)

Who wants to be a pirate? - Little Kaeya is not happy with always being the one who has to play the pirate (G-Rating, 778 words)

[taminoarticles]

— Tamino for ODDA Magazine, No. 23 / Fall/Winter 2022-23 / Spring 2023 (x)

TAMINO

"When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object," says Milan Kundera in his masterpiece, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," Tamino's favorite novel. And it is that the music of this young Belgian-Egyptian singer cannot come from anywhere other than a heart that harbors feelings as pure as longing or melancholy. At 25 years old, Tamino has turned into a musical reference due to his complex themes and his deep and emotional voice that became known for the acclaimed song "Habibi," instant success in 2018. His first album, "Amir," was not long in coming to confirm his undoubted talent, capable of conquering even musicians like Colin Greenwood, a member of Radiohead and Tamino's frequent collaborator. Now, after taking a break from all this whirlwind of emotions, he returns to the spotlight determined to move us with "Sahar," his sophomore album, released at the end of September 2022, that shows us a more vitalistic and tender side of the singer, who takes us by the hand to guide us through the boulevard of broken hearts. Could there be a better company?

In conversation with JUAN MARTÍ SERRANO Photographer JAIME CABRERA HUIDOBRO Fashion Editor ADRIAN BERNAL Casting Director CHOUAÏB ARIF Edited by EMMELEIA DALIWAN and ALBERTO CALABRESE Dog MOZAR

JUAN MARTI SERRANO. Hello Tamino, it is a pleasure to meet you! I'd like to talk a little about your past. You started in the music industry at a very young age, when you were only 14 years old, creating your own music band. Now, at 25, when you look back, how do you remember those years?

TAMINO. When I was 14, I started out playing in bands very locally in Belgium so I wouldn't call it "the music industry yet," we were performing but not making any money. That period of my life taught me a lot about band dynamics and sound checks, some stuff you have to learn. At 17, I went to study in Amsterdam and I started performing just by myself. Suddenly, when I created my first song in 2017, stuff started happening, I was 19-20 years old. Those years were quite crazy, a rollercoaster, a lot happened in a short amount of time. I was never home, touring all the time...

J.M.S. What was more fun, those old days or just now?

T. I couldn't say. There are aspects of it now that are more fun and there are aspects of before that are also more fun. The weird thing is that I've always taken this very seriously, in that sense nothing has really changed. If I would play in a small cafe show when I was 17 in Amsterdam I would take it as seriously as I am taking the show now. I don’t allow myself to go crazy like drinking the night before or whatever. I'm quite boring in that sense, I'm very dedicated to the shows and what I’m doing, I always want quality. I guess the scale is the only thing that has changed.

"I'm an introvert so that's where I get my energy, when I'm alone, I recharge my batteries." - Tamino

J.M.S. What lessons have you learned during all these years?

T. That I don’t really like traveling! [laughs.] I mean, I love being in other places, I love meeting new people and cultures but I don't like traveling itself. I know some people like flying, but I really hate it, I hate all the waiting around it. At the same time, when you are on tour with the same people all the time, sometimes in close spaces, I concluded, "Yes, I’m an introvert." I need time for myself, I need to read, to have space. That's the main thing that I have learned.

J.M.S. Have you ever thought about a life not linked to music? Have you ever contemplated a future detached from your role as a singer?

T. First, I really loved acting and directing. I was always making these little theater plays and forcing my little brother to participate in them. That was actually my first passion, I really, really loved it. I took it very seriously as well even though I was fucking eight years old or whatever. I acted until I was 15 or 16 along with the music but music eventually took over. The funny thing is that now my brother is an actor and a director. That was basically the only other aspiration I ever had.

J.M.S. Have you ever thought of revisiting your acting passion?

T. If I do anything with it I would really need to take it as seriously as music. It couldn't be a part-time thing, it would require a lot of my time and effort. I should just be able to give it my everything.

J.M.S. You consider yourself a composer before a musician. I would like to know what inspires you the most when creating your sound and your lyrics.

T. I really don’t know! [laughs] I think that’s the beauty of songwriting, you simply don’t know where it comes from. If I think about books or other music, yes. I can tell you about several people that inspire me the most. I really love reading a lot because it’s sort of this in-depth perspective of someone else’s life or whatever which is super inspiring for me. Something about reading a book makes me want to write a song as well. But the biggest thing of course is just living. The main thing behind my songwriting has always been finding a sort of inner world, also to work through things. I don't want to call it therapy because it is an art form and not every song must be autobiographical, it is just a place where I can let my emotions be and refine them in a way.

J.M.S. Now I am very curious to know what your favorite book is...

T. I really love "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera.

J.M.S. And tell me, when it comes to composing the narrative of your music, I would like to know if they are based on your own experiences or on the experiences of others. Do you find more inspiration in your life or in the lives of others?

T. I guess it's always a combination. You go through life experiencing whatever comes across your path but you are also an observer. It is always a little bit of both. I have to say that when something impactful happens to me there is of course an inner tension that wants to get out of me. That's the most natural state of being when wanting to create something. If that isn't there, life can be sometimes very still or dynamic, then it’s more a craftsmanship thing. I couldn't say if one stage is better than the other. I don't necessarily think that the best song comes from this struggle and tense state of being or maybe of the observer state of being. Both influence each other, it's like a dance.

J.M.S. Don't you think that many times writing music forces you to constantly immerse yourself in your memories and experiences as if it were an eternal and exhausting spiral of introspection?

T. It's the other way around [laughs.] It's not being a musician that makes me think about all those things all the time; it is just the fact that I always think about those things that probably made me into a musician. That it's just how I am and how I've always been. There is this beautiful song called "I Watched The Film The Song Remains The Same" by Sun Kil Moon. In this song, the singer thinks about his childhood and compares his friends to himself and how he always was drawn to the melancholic aspects of things and how things never leave him. He once had a fight at school and how that event is going to haunt him forever. I really relate to that emotion, to that song. That's probably the main reason why I make stuff.

J.M.S. Being a melancholic and nostalgic person but at the same time young and sensitive, have you ever stopped to think about what the hell you really know about life?

T. Of course! [laughs.] When you are a bit younger you think you know everything, you think you are invincible but of course, that grows out of you quickly normally when you grow into adulthood. I don't think being a songwriter is about knowing things, it’s more about exploring them and accepting the fact that you don’t know anything and you are just figuring it all out. I think that figures out all-out aspects of it that people relate to in a way because at the end if you look at songs from whatever era, you find similar things. Human experiences are not very different from each other.

J.M.S. Are you hoping to figure things out?

T. Yeah! You are always trying to figure things out I guess.

J.M.S. Your single "Habibi" made you reach fame back in 2018, a song that was highly applauded by the public and critics. How do you feel when you listen to that song? Do you still recognize yourself in those lyrics?

T. I recognize the boy who wrote it at the time. I was 18 so I have a lot of love for that younger self. It was a very courageous song to release especially at that age. I'm super happy that I did that at the end. It is still a song that I love performing. The beautiful thing about songs is that they evolve with you. When I'm singing it now,the feeling I get from the  song is different. There are so many memories attached to the song that come back and give me a similar feeling as it did back then, but the song changes a bit with you. It keeps on surprising me.

J.M.S. The same year [2018] you released your first album, "Amir." How do you remember the moment of releasing that first great work?

T. I was definitely nervous but at the same time, I was feeling like I had made something you really believe in and you are fully behind it. You feel that whatever happens to this, whatever opinions it can receive, this is what you wanted to make so it doesn't really matter. Well, it matters but at the same time it doesn't [laughs.] Let’s say hypothetically if I would have made an album that I wasn't proud of and I would release it feeling that it wasn't what I wanted to do, the bad opinions would have made me feel broken because I would be thinking "I knew it wasn’t good!" If I really like the work and someone doesn't like it it’s fine, I'm still going to like it. The curse of writing albums is that the moment you finish it a couple of months later you totally like hearing all the flaws and it’s very motivational because it drives you to start writing again and to try to make a follow-up with fewer flaws [laughs.]

"Right now I'm super focused on music, I really want to make a third album. I want to write a lot of songs in the next few months even though I know that's going to be super busy." - Tamino

J.M.S. But the reception of your album was really great!

T. I know [laughs.] But I can hear all the things I could have done better or just differently. One work drives the other.

J.M.S. In one of her songs, Spanish singer, Rosalia, mentions that fame is a bad lover. Nowadays, being famous entails enduring an intrusion into private life and overexposure to social media. How has your experience with fame been after gaining attention through your songs?

T. Fame is a very subjective term. In some sorts of bubbles, you can be famous, but in others, people don’t know you at all. Before social media, if you were famous, you were really famous. But now it’s like a big group of people know you but then a bigger group of people have never heard anything about you, so I wouldn't be able to call myself “famous.” I have experienced aspects of fame when I’m performing, because a lot of people who know my music have come together and maybe want to meet me in person after the show. And it can be overwhelming because suddenly there are a lot of people who have heard your music and want to express their love. But if I’m just walking on the street there are not enough people who really know me, rather it would be annoying. I feel really happy with my level of fame or whatever you want to call it, because it is really spread or very concentrated when I’m performing. Otherwise, I have a very normal life.

J.M.S. Look, I think if you have your own Wikipedia page, you're famous!

T. Oh, man! Then a lot of people can be considered famous! [laughs]

J.M.S. Singer, Lykke Li, declared that “sadness is a blessing.” Do you think that for artists it is totally true when it comes to finding inspiration?

T. Definitely. I've found many emotions inspirational. I guess sadness and joy are quite connected, they can’t be without each other. You can only be joyful because you know what sadness is like. The same thing goes for sadness. I like the yin-yang of that. That's basically everything. Everything comes down to that.

J.M.S. You say that you don’t like to explain your own songs, you prefer that everyone interprets them. So if we go by that idea there is not just one Tamino, but many versions of you for every person who listens to your songs, right?

T. Yes! I think people do that anyway. Life happens inside our consciousness so everyone has their own perspective. There are many versions of you because in everybody's mind you are somehow a bit different. There would never be one singular vision of a person.

J.M.S. This makes me think a bit about the mystery and how overexposed artists are today because of social media. You have managed to stay out of all that madness and remain very enigmatic. Do you think it’s important for an artist to be somehow untouchable and unreachable?

T. I do like some mystery [laughs.] In the first place as a fan of other artists I like it when they are not too revealing because I don’t want to know everything about them, I just want to experience their work. At the same time, I read for example a biography about Leonard Cohen because I was interested in his life. I do like some mystery and I think it is important for people to be able to experience the work as pure as possible.

J.M.S. After having listened to “Sahar,” I am left with the feeling that one of the main themes is loneliness. I would like to ask you, do you usually feel lonely or do you consider yourself a solitary person? Or otherwise, have you learned how to embrace loneliness and be comfortable with it?

T. Rather a solitary person than lonely. I don’t really feel lonely because I have really good friends. Loneliness is more about a state of being that you can feel from time to time and when you feel it you can dwell in it or call a friend and hang out. I do that when I feel lonely but I'm also very ok with being alone because it’s the only way I'm able to create. I’m an introvert so that’s where I get my energy, when I'm alone, I recharge my batteries.

J.M.S. One of my favorite songs on the album, “The Longing,” talks about letting go. Do you think you are someone who holds on to people or even memories or is it easy for you to let go?

T. I'm still figuring that out. I don’t know yet if I’m a super sentimental person who is very nostalgic and dwells in the past or someone who is quite always moving forward. Maybe I’m someone in between.

J.M.S. In “Sahar” through songs like “The First Disciple,” you talk about love and desire. At 25 years old, do you think our generation correctly understands what love is about?

T. I wouldn't be able to say what love is about, I don’t even know. That's a difficult question to answer. There is something about the whole dating app era that is a bit weird but at the same time, I have a lot of friends who found love, even myself. I would never say that we are a lost generation, we are very capable of love, finding it, and maintaining it. It just takes some work.

J.M.S. In both records, “Sahar” and “Amir,” you can perceive that the great influence of bands like Radiohead is prominent. Actually, a component of the band participated in a single of your first album, “Indigo Night.” I would like to know your personal and musical connection with the band led by Thom Yorke.

T. Colin Greenwood, the bassist of Radiohead, was the one who played with us in that song, then we started touring together a bit, and then I asked him to play again in the new album so he plays in seven songs! We spent a lot of time in the studio and we already did a big concert in Istanbul in June. He is super.

“I guess sadness and joy are quite connected, they can’t be without each other. You can only be joyful because you know what sadness is like. The same thing goes for sadness.” - Tamino

J.M.S. Ok, we spoke about music, your “personality” as an artist… Tell us more about who Tamino is.

T. Well I can tell you that my favorite movie is “Phantom Thread.”

J.M.S. That movie in which the fashion designer lets himself be poisoned by his girlfriend in a kind of psycho-emotional game?

T. Yes! Love that movie! When I was a kid my favorite movies were “The Lord of the Rings” and they still sort of are.

J.M.S. Love “Lord of the Rings”, so homoerotic!

T. Which character makes you think those movies are homoerotic?

J.M.S. Most of them. All those sweaty and dirty men sleeping together in those dark and mysterious forests with voyeuristic trees with eyes spying on them...

T. Maybe I should rewatch them!

J.M.S. And Frodo and Sam, of course! Something between them was going on!

T. Oh yes! I can understand that!

J.M.S. And favorite musician?

T. So many! Anouar Brahem’s “Blue Maqams” has really inspired me for this album. The typical ones I have mentioned so many times like Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan, Fairuz... I think when I really like something I always go back to it, that’s probably something that is very present in my personality. I have loyalty to those kinds of things. I rarely have anything like this new thing that I’m super into. I like a lot of things but I don’t love a lot of things. If I love something, it is with me forever in a way. There are a couple of books and movies that I would always go back to and I probably always talk about.

J.M.S. Any TV shows?

T. “Better Call Saul!” Just brilliant!

J.M.S. Let's talk about fashion, an industry that has been seduced by you since we all got to discover your music. Some houses such as Missoni included you in their advertising campaign and many others requested your presence in their shows. What is the meaning of fashion for Tamino and how do you go through your style?

T. I like just wearing clothes that make me feel I would say “I like myself,” but it depends on the day. Sometimes I like to wear a suit, sometimes I like to wear a t-shirt. What I'm wearing needs to make me feel aligned with the mood I'm in because then I feel that my interactions with people are better. I think that wearing what makes you feel comfortable that day makes you more connected to yourself.

J.M.S. Do you pay attention to the clothes you wear?

T. I definitely pay attention to what I wear. I love well-made clothes and good fabrics and designs. I really appreciate the quality. There are some brands that I'm really into like Yohji Yamamoto.

J.M.S. Would you like to participate actively and frequently in the world of fashion?

T. It’s funny because it was never an ambition when I was younger. It was something that just happened. It’s super cool but I’m very sober in fashion. It’s not like I’ve ever had a deep desire to make it in fashion, if something comes along and feels right like I really want to do it, then for sure!

J.M.S. Now that you have a well-grounded career in music and the support of specialized critics and your fans, what is the next step for Tamino?

T. First, we have the tour coming so I hope I will be able to enjoy it more this time, to be more at the moment. Right now I’m super focused on music, I really want to make a third album. I want to write a lot of songs in the next few months even though I know that’s going to be super busy. I want to spend some time in New York or anywhere else that can feel inspired. It’s time for something new.

Grooming by BASTIEN ZORZETTO using REDKEN Set Designer PIERGIO GEREMIA Retoucher ALBERTO MARO Fashion Assistant MARTIN BARRÉ Special Thanks to JAOVEN RICOEUR, CLAUDIA MATE, ANDREW SMITH and EMMA BOESCH at VIRGIN RECORDS

[hollygl125]

On rabbit holes and fanfic (in my own life):

*This is a note I wrote for AO3/FFN, but I’ve been meaning for a while to write a post on how I—a member of the Oregon Trail generation—wound up signing up for Tumblr in January 2022, and this kind of hints at that, so I thought I might as well share it here, too.*

What follows is a TMI note on why I can’t make any promises on when the next chapter of this story will be up; please read or don’t, as pleases you.  I would like to state first, though, what I also state at the bottom of this note: thank you so, so, so very much for reading; your kind support means more than I can tell you.

So, I’m, ah… not very good at all this.

Two years ago now, as I was doing a “CSI as love story” rewatch and falling far, far, far down the GSR rabbit hole, I was also falling deep into ADHD burnout and overwhelming anxiety (without, at the time, realizing that I had either ADHD or a lifetime of anxiety).  By the time spring 2022 rolled around, I was lacking executive functioning abilities for even basic tasks, while my mind sought solace or dopamine or whatever it was with—you guessed it—these two lovely science nerds.

I read hundreds and hundreds of GSR fics, without managing to leave a single, solitary comment/review.  (I wanted to comment!  I couldn’t!  I’m not saying commenting would have killed me, but I just couldn’t do it; I wouldn’t have been able to continue reading if it were required, and obsessing over these two science nerds was basically all my mind could handle.  So when I tell you that I get that commenting can be too much sometimes, I get it.  I should also note my eternal gratitude to all the amazing GSR fic writers who—unknowingly—helped me during this time.)

I occasionally questioned whether I might try writing something about these science nerds, but I always dismissed that pretty quickly.  I’d never willingly undertaken a creative writing project in my life (unless you count my last dog’s Instagram).  For added context, until 2022, I had last (and first, for that matter) previously read fan fiction in the mid-2000s, when my favourites on The West Wing were taking their own sweet time.  So in January 2022, while desperate for more GSR content, I was like, “Is fanfic still a thing?  Is there GSR fanfic?”  I literally started by googling “GSR fan fiction.”  I’d never even heard of AO3 or FFN; I think the fic for The West Wing had been on Yahoo! Groups.

But I had all these romantic scenarios and headcanons and such constantly running through my head, and I was getting tired of having to recreate the dialogue for them every night as I fell asleep.  So eventually, in late June 2022, I thought maybe I should try writing something down—at some point in the future, once I’d had more time to prepare.  Naturally the next day my brain was like, no, now, now, we’re doing this now.  I had no conscious say in the matter.  I wasn’t sure whether I was going to post anything, but apparently I was going to write it.

I had a lot of fun writing out so many of my thoughts and feeling and hopes and dreams for our two lovely science nerds, and pretty soon I had a draft for this series of stories (although it was only a fraction of what I have now written).  I started posting the first story in September 2022.  Luckily I got to participate in a (also luckily, not very mentally taxing) overseas professional placement for several months at the end of 2022, and this was a welcome distraction from *everything else* about my life.

When I got home in winter 2023, the anxiety returned in full force.  I got an ADHD diagnosis, but neither that nor the anxiety are effectively managed yet.  And, truth be told, posting these stories gives me a lot of anxiety.  It’s sort of been a weekly cycle of posting, feeling very anxious about it for several days, talking myself back to a place of peace, getting ready to post again, posting again, rinse, repeat.  Sometimes I’ve found myself feeling too anxious to post, and the chapter/story in question has been pushed back by a week.

So I wasn’t exactly feeling great about the posting process, but I was still determined to proceed.  I had a posting schedule that would have seen me finish posting this story by the end of November (last month) then post the remaining four shorter stories over the next couple months.  (A few of them are synced to dates/times of year: the winter holidays and February, i.e., the anniversary of the AAFS conference.) But then, with the last chapter I posted, I was just too anxious/unhappy.  This may have been because I’d slightly accelerated my posting schedule and hadn’t left myself enough time to process everything; I’m not sure.  But I found myself looking at Tumblr gifs of our two lovely science nerds and feeling sad and resentful, not happy, and I realized that, if I continued on as I was doing at the time, I was going to destroy both my deep love of the characters and my own happy place.

So I told myself that I didn’t have to keep posting now—that, as much as I was determined to have the complete series of stories posted, I could do it in months or in a year or some other time when no one was left to read it; honestly, that thought made me feel a lot better.  But then I decided maybe I didn’t have to wait quite so long—that I could try posting once per month or something like that.  On the upside, I tell myself, this should also leave time for me to respond to comments more promptly and to go engage with other writers’ stories.  (I managed to go back and read and comment on a handful of stories this summer.  Commenting still gives me a lot of anxiety; at one point I felt like I almost gave myself a panic attack.  But I’m going to try to work at it.)  As of this morning, I have responded to all comments on these stories, including to comments by guests/people who aren’t logged in (unless I thought the comment was from a bot!).

I can’t promise when the next chapter will be posted.  My goal is for next month, but it really depends on how I feel after posting this one and how I feel next month.  I do hope you’ll come back to read it, though!

If you’ve read this far—both in this series and in this note—thank you so very much!  You certainly didn’t need to know all the information in this note, but I needed to share it, if you get what I mean.

Thank you so, so, so very much for reading and for your kind kudos, comments, follows, faves, and reviews.  Supportive comments/reviews always, always, always make my day.  Your support for this series of stories is truly what has allowed me to get even this far in posting these stories, and I appreciate it all more than I can tell you. 💛💛💛

[paperboy-pb]

"Willful Ignorance" [Life Story]

[Written in August, 2023]

A parent reminded me why I make PB the other night.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a very young creator. 20 in October. And I had one of my co-writers for a different comic ("Weirder Than Usual") over at my place for the weekend. And being the youngest of a hispanic family, my parents have no plans to let me move out anytime soon. When I do leave, it will likely be without their blessing.

I let one parent drive my co-writer back home for the night. I knew I wouldn't be much fun to have in the car that late (I fall asleep pretty early,) and that we wouldn't be free to discuss creative affairs with that parent there, anyway.

I don't like to be myself with this parent around. We are distant. And I keep that distance for a reason.

And despite my absence, this parent reminded me why. Because guess what my cowriter texted me not too long after!

Some hours later, I can't help but think to myself... it's so funny how she stresses my late speech so much. Because now that it's here, it's as if my words don't matter at all.

I will admit my family doesn't know everything that our Special Ed program put me & other children through. But I will ALSO say that that's their own fault. Because as I grew up, I used to tell them every awful thing that I found important. And it was their lack of response that made me stop.

The driver of that car is clueless. She's "forgotten" about the violence that surrounded me in there. Desks crashing to the ground after an adult's angriest shove. Sweaters stretched out and destroyed from middle school fights that nobody broke up.

She's "forgotten" about every time I told her that we weren't learning what we needed to know, insisting that every class must've been doing 3rd grade worksheets in 7th if we were.

She's "forgotten" her 11-year-old asking if he was on the spectrum; how she put on the confused performance of a lifetime as she told me no. But miraculously, she remembers sitting somewhere in the spring of 2005, being told so by professionals.

And she "doesn't remember" us yelling on the phone in 2022. How I spent 80 dollars on an Uber just so we wouldn't share state grounds. And how I screamed for the millionth time, in no uncertain terms, "I AM NOT MAD AT YOU FOR PUTTING ME IN A PROGRAM THAT PROMISED US HELP. You believed them! I know you believed them, they promised you I'd be okay! The problem is that THEY BROKE THAT PROMISE! And every time they did, you just looked the other way!"

Whether she is or isn't being truthful doesn't matter. It's bad on her either way.

Because I know she remembers my dentist reporting bruxism to her when I still had loose teeth. How they would ask her about my environment, or if she knew whether or not anything was stressing me out. And that she chose to question nothing as it continued nightly into my teens. Damaging my adult teeth and concerning all who would sleep in the same room as me. They could hear me all the time. Sometimes my sister would even wake me up.

I know she remembers marking her little one's height against the wall, and seeing the space under his eyes grow darker and darker across the 6th grade.

I know she remembers making leave Autism themed group chats, because to her, my name & that word should never be in the same sentence.

I know she remembers going through his journals and sketchbooks, finding concept art for our Matthew B. And how just one look was enough to make her enroll me to therapy when I was 13.

And she knows that I remember how she hates that boy. Matthew Boston, I mean. And at least one part of her hates everything that he is; disabled, creative, expressive, and headstrong.

I know because she hates those traits in me as well.

Since I spend a lot of time in disability spaces, I try not to assume somebody isn't trying to understand. Comprehension doesn't come easy to everyone. And I especially suspect that she's neurodivergent as well.

But I've tried everything with this one, and I'm truly at the end of my rope. I've tried visuals. I've tried keeping it short and sweet and simple. I've tried having complex and mature conversations where I don't skip a single detail.

I've even tried therapy with her in the room.

Nothing works. And unless this is the convenient work of an undiagnosed memory condition, there's no reason for that.

My Autistic voice matters so little to her that she insists on prying information out of my friends when I'm not in the room; asking the allistic all these questions I've answered myself one thousand times.

She doesn't want to understand. She doesn't want to question her own ableism. Or work past it. And that's why I don't show her "PAPERBOY" at all, and likely won't until years and years from now.

Because PAPERBOY is for the people who do understand. For people who do understand, and everyone who wants to.

[fxreflyes]

Prithee tell us about your favorite visits to museums, firefly. It’s a long and silent January night and your stories will keep madness from us. (To be read in the voice of a Dickensian child of 6 years old, sitting before the hearth.) ☕️

hey hey!! :) my favorite seafaring vessel, a joy as always to meet u here. fret not, i will not let madness consume you! <3

(the context for the voice definitely helped, i most certainly did read it in the voice of a dickensian child. i can hear the crackle of the hearth as i pen these words!)

oh where to start! this is a bit of a brain dump, but is semi-chronological and images included in the order of discussion

first, summer of 2016, going to the hermitage and making puns about all of the art! they were not good puns. i believe my brother called the statue below a "boar"ing statue. it was quite hot since we went in summer and we were very surprised that the musuem had no ac since there is generally some to protect the art from the elements. so twas a very sticky and humor filled walk thru some art that has seen quite a lot (pic 1)

fall of 2018, went to the met's heavenly body's fashion exhibit with 2 friends from high school. i love & still go to musuem's w one of them, she's v sweet. the exhibit took place in the part of the museum that is older and looks like a church, so it was v prescient!! (pics 2-4, the leather jacket was so cool)

spring 2019, went to the met again (can u tell i went to college in nyc) and to the frick for my art history class to do a scavenger hunt for the class. quite honestly the most fun assignment ever. it was going through the museums and finding the art and writing about it. there were 50 or so things to find out. we went 3 times total for 3 sessions of the hunt. went w my dad for one, he has said he wants to do more even now

fall of 2019 i went to the met's instruments of rock n roll and saw instruments from a lot of famous musicians! i have a bunch of pics of them, but was v fun i went w my dad and got a bunch of music taste from him so that was cool. i was v amused by this many headed guitar hahaha (pic 5)

winter 2020 i went to a black tie gala in an art musuem so that was v fun & festive!!!

ok covid took a hit to this list so fall 2021! natural history musuem in london! went w my brother bc he was doing his masters same time as i was studying abroad there. i mean it's gorgeous. my brother is v interested in rocks so spent a while in the geology section! lots of cool rocks.

feb 2022, went to the met around my bday! my bf flew to visit me. saw very cool swords. pictured below!

summer 2022, went to the Louvre and the musee d'Orsay! saw the painting of dante and virgil in hell which was v cool, i have always loved that one.

for the sake of brevity, lets go to feb 2023, went to the whitney to see my fav artist edward hopper and an exhibit on him! went w the same friend as i went to the met in 2018 w. went w my brother too. fav exhibit ever probably, just bc i love hopper and i have included my fav painting by him, new york movie! my mom had a book on hopper growing up on our coffee table so always read it

oh my this is not brief. the fire is dwindling! ill stoke it.

this summer! the prado in madrid! i love goya so seeing his work was just so cool. they v sadly didnt allow photography in the museum but saw his black paintings the ones w saturn eating his children.

i hope my little tales help stave off the madness <33

[tookishcombeferre]

Happy 8th Birthday Undertale!

It��s hard to believe Undertale turns 8 today!!

I’m going to be posting more of my fic (2 chapters) today in celebration, but I wanted to post something a little more personal on my blog.

In Summer 2022, I gave birth to a squish. Bean is incredible. I adore them.

One day in late Fall/Winter of 2022/2023 we were going on an Amma/Bean outing to just see some more of the world. I decided to play the Undertale soundtrack because I was feeling nostalgic and it was a style of music Bean hadn’t heard yet.

When I say Bean imprinted on “Death by Glamour” I mean they imprinted on that song to the point that I was allowed listen to nothing else for 72+ hours straight. If I changed the song, they would straight up banshee scream until I put it back on.

Eventually, I showed Bean MTT’s boss battle and we listened to the Man on the Internet cover of the song as well. (This was the only variation I got in listening to the same song for almost a month.)

For Bean’s six month well check, Dada and I decided to get them a plush of Mettaton mostly as a joke. We figured we’d put it in a keepsake box to give to them after they graduated high school.

Nope. They imprinted on it! Ton-ton had to go everywhere. This was to the point we felt the need to get them a second one for their birthday in case Ton-ton the original got lost or came unstuffed.

I’ve found my Bean’s bond with MTT to be kind of interesting. I’m the primary “stay at home” caregiver to Bean, but I’m an actor and writer on the side. I’m also a relatively femme-looking transmasc person. So, sometimes, seeing them holding, cuddling, and just now starting to talk to MTT like a best friend makes me kind of emotional. I see their empathy for people who are different. I see the kind of love that I’m fostering in them for my community. I have hope for the way Bean will accept me in their easy acceptance of the “KISS Doll” as my parents call him.

I’ve just moved back about 5-10 minutes away from my family after a long time running all over the country and state. That, and I just came out to all of my family this year. There’s been some good moments in that and some very painful ones.

Dada (my spouse) and I started playing Undertale around Spring of 2023. My spouse hasn’t really played the game in any significant way, but we started with True Pacifist because life is too sad to do anything else. We’re only just getting into Waterfall because, as new parents, we don’t have a lot of free time.

But, I’m looking forward to meeting Mettaton again. Because, as weird as it sounds, I feel like I owe him an apology.

When I first played the game, I wanted to kill Mettaton … so badly. I hated him because, in a way, he reminded me of me. So, I figured killing him would feel like killing the part of me that I hated. I knew I couldn’t really do anything to myself without hurting the people I loved in ways I didn’t want to - I might have been self-centered at times, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just leave. But, I was playing with my friend at the time and she was very adamant about playing True Pacifist and nothing else. (I also managed to get a spoiler about what happens to Alphys if you kill Mettaton and that really put me off it because Alphys was my favorite.)

But, in many ways, I hated Mettaton in the ways I hated myself. He was merely a stand in for me.

I “ran away” from home and changed my identity.

I upset my family.

I could be over dramatic.

I had my manic moments.

I wanted fame in my writing and my performance, and I wasn’t shy (or all that humble) about sharing my big dreams (or my talents there in).

So, I look forward to meeting him again because I owe that trans masc robot an apology for hating him so much.

For, through the eyes of my child, (through no expectation or conscious thought of Bean’s own) I’ve learned to love myself all because of a silly techno song and an Etsy plush.

But, it all started with a lovely little game 8 years ago. So, thanks Toby Fox. Happy Birthday Undertale.

[eudaimond]

Where it all began

I started out making jewelry in 2015 as a hobby while I was on my first deployment in the United States Navy. Soon after returning home I made a couple pieces for close friends and family but never thought about making a business out of it. In fact, I tried a few multi-level marketing (I guess that's what they are called) Itworks, BeachBody, Amway, basically a few things where you sell products and try to get others to sign up to sell products "with" you. BOO! Not a fan. I wanted to run a business but I felt no passion for the products of services. The only thing I was proud of was things I made myself.  Fast forwarding a few years, (a lot happened but this is the summary). I was still in the Navy and it was taking up ALL OF MY TIME but I managed to fall in love <3 and get married in 2021. I decided to leave the Navy in 2022 to start a family and pursue something I was passionate about, but the only PROBLEM was it had been YEARS since I had really been creative or had a creative space to work in. But we just bought a house so space wasn't the issue anymore.  I had to take some time to "re-discover" myself, which any veteran can tell you after they separate from the service, you sort of forget a lot about yourself when you assimilate into the military because individuality really isn't a thing (no regrets though). I worked as a contractor for the Navy from March 2022 - Nov 2023 but decided to step away from that with the help of my supportive hubby :) I really needed to get my own identity back. I did some spring (REALLY FALL) cleaning, which led me to breaking out the cases of jewelry making supplies that were long forgotten in storage. It brought back some wonderful emotions! And that's when I remembered how much I enjoyed making things with my hands and coming up with creative designs.  And just like that, I got bit by the creative bug and I couldn't be happier about it. I began creating pieces like a mad woman and now with the confidence (thanks Navy) that I COULD DO THIS FOR A LIVING!! MAKING THINGS! AND BEING HAPPY DOING IT! So that is what I am doing. Making things whether by hand or designing in the digital space (which I have also been really enjoying). I have sold my pieces at several markets and pop-up locations since December 2023 and I am still deciding what I want to go back to school for (Also HUGE THANK YOU NAVY) but I am leaning toward graphic design and business. I am in the middle of building my web-site for my online Gift Shop (cuz Mamas got plans) which will be coming SOON. I have been making moves like mad...tripping, stumbling and blundering my way through Etsy and social media. But it is all for a greater goal and that is to build a successful business that I can run from my home while I raise our future children. And lastly that brings me to tell you about the name "Eudaimond". It's a name I made from the word Eudaimonia, which translates to happiness, or more accurately "human flourishing". This resonated deeply with me and it became the name of my business. It represents my current journey for a happy and purposeful life. When you shop with Eudaimond, you shop with a purpose. Whether it's a gift for others or yourself, the act is intentional and your time is important. And I want to provide intentional products worth that time.  Thanks for being here.

[permanentconundrum]

10/04/23

I’ve decided I want to get faster at writing so I am going to blog a few days and try to make a practice of it. I worked on my writer resume tonight. It’s already 9pm. I am kind of tired. Listening to old school indie music. Still no job yet, since August 2022. It might be weird to go back to work. I’ll need to make sure I can wake up early. Read a little philosophy this afternoon. I should check the news in the NYT. I haven’t been paying close attention recently. I talked to a recruiter about a few jobs but they don’t pay great. In the first half of 2022 I started looking at work because I wanted to take the next step. Now I’m taking a step back perhaps. That’s what happens when you don’t work for over a year. I have had time for poetry though. That’s been good. I hope to finish some poems. Read some sad poems in the October issue of Poetry Magazine, but I think poetry is a great place for difficult topics. Reminds me to pray for others, and know someone somewhere is having a difficult time. You aren’t alone in this. I think it’s important to remember those who are suffering. You aren’t alone in this. I kind of want to look at art more. I want to read more too. I read some last night, the October issue of Poetry. The Decemberists are on the radio. I’m thinking about how to manage myself so that I don’t run myself out of energy. Sometimes you need to not use all your energy in one activity so you can focus elsewhere as well. I have a running goal to lose weight by the end of 2023. Send positive vibes. I want to look more like a runner. I pass quite a few runners in town driving around. Running is a big goal. Poetry is too, but I need to find a job so I can pay bills. I’m watching my diet again. I didn’t watch it last week really. It’s rough. I have trouble getting to the gym 7 day/wk. But maybe I just need to build the habit. It is incredibly important to my health. Where do I want my life to go? I want to be a senior engineer. Or I want enough money to buy a car and go to NYC every year. I want to pay off school debt. Yeah, the job is the money, but it can be fun or at least important. It is work. Somehow I want energy to write too. And read. So more writing and reading and less TV. I want to read more too. Having a job will take energy, but I don’t need to commit myself to 10hour days every day. I hope to get interviews for the jobs I applied to today. I also should apply to more. Maybe tomorrow I won’t sleep through the afternoon and be able to work on more submissions. I could stay up later tonight because I haven’t been able to fall asleep very well. I am watching my energy and mood and healthy habits this month. October has been difficult in the past. I don’t know if it’s from burn out at work or just an affect of the season. I have been pretty happy in Spring and Summer this year. I think I don’t like the sun setting soon. Maybe I will take a drive tomorrow and look at leaves. This blog is all over the place but it’s fine. I wish I didn’t have to be so careful about with things like mood and energy. I do need more daily focus on diet and exercise. I’m hoping to get to the gym 5 days this week. Both today and yesterday were good runs. Tomorrow I’m going for a speed work out. Twins won their wildcard game to progress in the playoffs. Watching the news now. But the gym is very important to me. I need to keep the habit building weekly and daily. I am excited about making progress with running. Longer durations and more mileage and hopefully higher speed. I will stretch tonight. I’ve been feeling sore today. I used a couple weight machines in addition to my treadmill workout. Not all the machines, I was not feeling the weights today. I have a few goals longer term, but I should think about shorter term goals. I did hit a distance target about a week ago. Maybe I should try to tack on half a mile to that distance. I need to think about what to do for easy run. I guess easy should just be easy, and push on the hard efforts, like speed work and long runs.

[johnmchacker]

First Post

So this is it. My first real post on Tumblr. Yay me! I guess this post is going to be about myself, and the Masterlist of what I've written, in timeline order.

I'm JohnMcHacker, and I'm a longtime Harry Pothead. (That sounds like an opener to Potters Anonymous, doesn't it?) I'd heard in passing of HP earlier, but only started reading when Goblet of Fire hit the shelves. I quickly read through all the previous books, waited eagerly for Order of the Phoenix (my personal favourite of the lot), and the rest is history.

I read a lot of fanfiction and wrote some (not very good) stuff, until about 2012 when life got too busy and I stopped writing. But HP was always in the back of my mind and I always thought about the universe, reread the books, and thought about what happened next. I picked up HP again in 2022 when I heard that fanfiction had had a mild resurgence during the pandemic, browsed through a couple, and realised that fanfiction had matured significantly in quality and depth since I left the scene. (And plumbed certain new lows, in my opinion, but live and let live I guess.)

So now I'm writing again, and I'm writing stories that I've had 10 years to think about. There's a specific grand arc of what happened after Deathly Hallows that I have in mind. As of this post (January 2023) I haven't actually started on the big events, but I'm warming up and getting there.

So at last, we get to what I call The Moments In Between series, as of January 2023:

Who Is Ginny Weasley Dating? - May 1997. Harry/Ginny.

Jumpers Then Fall - Dec 1995 to Dec 1998. Hermione/Ron.

Last Orders - Jan 1997. Headmaster Severus Snape celebrates a birthday.

Harvest Dream - Sept 1999. Harry/Ginny.

Singing Out Of Tune - Feb 2000 to Dec 2000. Harry/Ginny.

Once A Jolly Bagman - Aug 2001. Harry/Ginny.

Midseason Murders: Down The Pub - July 2002. Harry/Ginny.

The Witch's Birthday - Sept 2002. Hermione and friends.

Miss Butter Elbows - Spring 2003. Harry/Ginny.

Horses For Courses - June 2003. Hermione/Ron.

The Magic We Make - Spring 2004. Astoria, with a dash of Draco.

Hammocks - July 2015. Teddy/Victoire. An ode to puppy love, and summer holidays.

Rose's Grown-Up Christmas - Dec 2018. Rose and Ron.

How Did You Know? - Dec 2019. Harry/Ginny, some James Sirius Potter and his mum.

What James Sirius Potter Did - April 2020. James Sirius/OC. Short teen drama ficlet.

Twenty-Five Years Later - August 2022. Harry/Ginny, and family.

I also have other stories not included in this series, but this is my main "timeline" and grand story arc, so to speak.

My stories revolve around the themes of good vs evil, friendship, family, and love. I write about the never-ending battle for justice, righteousness and love against lawlessness, wickedness and hatred, and I write about the little moments in between (ba dum tss!) of kindness, affection, romance, of friendship and family.

My favourite pairings are Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, and Draco/Astoria. I intend to write most about these couples, but I hope to also explore others along the way, as well as family in general. Because Family is everything, believe me.

So please, stick around for the ride, I hope and believe you'll be suitably entertained. And as always, per the byword of all fanfiction synopses in the golden days of yore: read and review please!

[plantgoodseed]

We are in the business of life! Our 2023 seed production in Ojai, California.

Spring never really got going here in Ojai, and as I write these words summer is nearly here. Between the heavier winter rains (this a 45 inch - and counting - rain year) and weeks of overcast days, moon cycles have been an afterthought.

The plants keep growing through the fog, rain, and cloudy weather. Kendall harvested our Fizz Kale plants two weeks ago, making this our first seed crop of the year. Fizz is a salad kale, with smooth, oak shaped emerald colored leaves and white veins. It was the very first lot of seed we logged for the company back in 2011, and was definitely in need of improvement. We focused on one thing: culling out early bolting plants, prolonging the usefulness and flavor of the leaves as they mature. (Given this kale is harvested young as a micro green, it’s unsurprising this might have been not a priority, as harvest would typically occur long before any chance of flowering occurs) 

Up next is our largest production of Cherry Glow Breadseed Poppy. We did smaller runs of these in 2017 (me) and 2022 (Richard Gambino/Topa Vista Farmstand). The last few of Richard’s packets are still available, along with a bulk size. 

(We also have a new variety we are adding: Flemish Peony Poppy. I first spotted this on Cacia Huff’s Feral Farm instagram feed, and she sent me some seed stock)

We planted 10 pounds of Chimyan Garlic last fall, and harvesting was completed earlier in the month. Hardnecks aren’t always suitable for Southern California climates, but these bulbs look promising, and a quality planting stock would allow us to make this available to our customers in 2024.

New crops of Double White Hollyhock and Krishna Holy Basil are currently in the ground. Krishna seems to be the most temperature sensitive of the holy basils I’ve ever worked with. It really didn’t like this cold, and needs a really long production window for harvest. When it gets established, it’s a sight to be soon. Rama Holy Basil seedlings are also ready to go in, Heavy Hitter Okra seedlings are at the nursery, and I think our first Ojai production of Zanadoo Corn is on the way as well. Another round of Hibiscus was necessary, as we are packing the last of our current seed supply today, and it will likely be gone before the summer is up.

New crops of Silk Mullein, Dense Flowered Mullein, Clary Sage, and Marshmallow are well on their way to producing. Stinging Nettle and Scarlet Bee Balm will likely just increase our planting stock and not be available for sale this year.

After adding Double Black Hollyhock and Madder to the catalog in this past year, and feeling a little inspired by the work of Ride and Dye Ojai, I’ve been wanting to further expand the availability of our dye plants: Japanese Indigo (Persicaria tinctoria) seemed like an easy place to start and is now in production. I also had two other proper Indigo species “True” Indigo (Indigofera tinctoria) - or Guatemalan Indigo (Indigofera suffruticosa) we sent to the nursery, but the germination was too scanty to move forward. Next year!

Steve put a lot of flowers in the ground in this past fall-winter so it’s possible that a lot more will be coming than planned, or just refreshing/replenishing existing stalks. I’m pretty happy to see a new crop of Gaillardia coming on. I’m spying some mixed yarrow and bachelor buttons and a lot of silvery rose strawflower.

I’m continuing to work with my Southern California natives / rugged perennial crops. I planted a lot more Western Vervain this year, and new crops of Black, Purple, and White Sages are nearly ready. I continue to have problems with harvesting quality Hummingbird Sage seed, but after taking a year to experiment with harvesting and timing methods, I’ll give it another go. This is the first year I’ve worked with Cleveland Sage, and it’s looking spectacular.

Elderberry and Matilija Poppy will likely be back in the catalog too. These are quite easy to propagate clonally (root divisions or just straight up branch plantings), but it seems people enjoy the challenge of starting things from seed.

Our network of producers has grown substantially over this past year, and we intend on highlighting their crop production for the company in another blog post later in the year!

-quin

[astrobei]

1, 2, 6, 19 & 20!!

hi irene !! omg these look so fun !!

1. song of the year?

ok Again i’m not sure if this means the one i listened to most this year statistically or just one i rly resonated with the most this year and one of these is a much harder question LOL according to spotify the song i listened to most was fireproof by one direction just bc it’s a song i play in the background a lot while working! it’s got a rly nice rhythm that works for my brain so that’s probably why it’s so high up jskdjsjd but a song that resonated w me most this year. god that’s rly hard. i listened to talk me down by troye sivan pretty constantly on loop for the whole year and if u Had to make me choose a song that like. summed up 2022 for me it would be this. just one of my comfort songs and i come back to it a Lot <3

2. album of the year?

i answered this one earlier but bc i am indecisive i will give two more answers! (for my fav album that came out this year and also one i just really enjoyed) um superache by conan gray came out 3 days after i got broken up with so. yeah it’s imprinted itself into my brain forever! my favs off of it are (as of rn) footnote, memories, and family line/the exit are tied :^) and as for another one i just really listened to a lot this year it would probably be sawayama by rina sawayama because i’m a pop girl to my bones and this album is just chefs kiss ZERO skips !! listened to it a lot through the spring n summer especially !!

6. episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

ohhh this is good one ok so i finally watched all of attack of titan this year and my life was changed Forever. i think my favorite episode is actually that three episode arc in season 3 (episodes 16-18) because holy. shit. i could talk about this show for hours on end so i’ll spare you but i think this is probably the episode/series of episodes that stood out the most for me this year it was just so well done and a 10/10 all around and i won’t spoil anything for people who haven’t watched but. iykyk

19. what’s something you’re excited for this year?

i answered this one earlier too but i’ll answer it again! uh i honestly don’t have Too Much planned up front for 2023 but i am going to try and Read More and my winter quarter is (tentatively) looking less crazy than my fall quarter did so i’m excited to try and take a little more time for myself! (maybe) that’s probably a Small Thing but whatever. it’s important to Me :^))

20. what’s something you learned this year?

ohh i could probably go on for a while about this but i’ll just pick one for now! i definitely learned to put myself out there more and that it can be rly rewarding to step out of ur comfort zone !! with fics and stuff of course but there are also so many friends i made this year in the community i never would’ve met if i hadn’t messaged them despite being so scared everyone secretly hated me LOL and also stuff like my job! i almost didn’t apply because i was convinced i wasn’t qualified enough and i literally got hired two days later KSKSJF anyways trying new things even if i second guessed myself was super rewarding this year and i’m not Great at it yet but if i could go back in time and tell past suni to do this earlier i would bc it would’ve made a lot of shit earlier for me tbh .

[dikeoucollection]

Dikeou Superstars Monthly Roundup

Joshua Abelow’s solo exhibition “Barnett Abelow” is now open at H.G.Chicago.

Anya Kielar’s solo exhibition “Shadow Box” is on view at Pioneer Works through December 11.

Devon Dikeou has officially pledged to have the papers of her artist studio, zingmagazine, and Dikeou Collection entered into the Smithsonian Institution’s Archives of American Art where they will be preserved for posterity and made available for public access and research.

Lizzi Bougatsos created a lens cloth and keepsake poster for her homegirl Chloë Sevigny’s latest collaboration with Baby Parker. She also recently walked in Maryam Nassir Zadeh’s fall 2022 runway show.

Inspiration from Marcel Dzama was seen on the runway via BORAASKSU’s spring 2023 collection presented at London Fashion Week.

Anicka Yi spoke on the Community Panel, moderated by Thelma Golden, at the recent Sky High Farm Symposium at Judd Foundation. She was joined by Father Mike Lopez and Tremain Emory. She was also recently featured on an episode of A brush with. . . podcast

Mycophile Agathe Snow’s sculpture practice has evolved to now include her passion for mushroom farming. She and her partner Anthony Holbrooke run Mattituck Mushrooms in the North Fork region. “The real truth to it is that we’re both sculptors. There’s nothing like a mushroom,” she said. “[Discarded materials] we’re collecting for making sculpture also go into making growing boxes for the mushrooms.”

Sebastiaan Bremer’s current exhibition at Edwynn Houk Gallery was recently reviewed in VMan Magazine.

Paul Ramírez Jonas was honored at the recent Socrates Sculpture Park Benefit.