#and as someone who was in that boat a year ago i am glad to encourage my coworker to also just Relax

[theghostiedyke]

Me and my coworkers to our newest coworker: bestie.... this is a fake day. The correct answer to working hard or hardly working is the latter. Relax. Take a nap. You will have busy days later on.

[aphrodisiac-siren]

Dynasty of Flames

Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen-Royce Reader

Summary: Being born into the most respected and equally feared houses in the realm made people look up to you as if you were a god and the devil himself, in equal measure. People say that when a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin; and when news of the birth of Daemon’s firstborn- a girl, spread, people could only wait in anticipation to see which side of the coin faced up during her birth. 

Warnings: Incest (duh), maybe some swearing??

Part 1, Part 2,

Part 3

The morning air was cold and a thick fog surrounded the boat that swiftly floated top the waters, sailing along the path that led to King's Landing.

Y/N stood on the upper-deck, facing the port side of the boat to gaze into the distance as she doodled in her little pocket book; though there was very little she could see, courtesy of the fog. She wondered why there was such a big concern regarding Luke's succession when he was already named Lord of the Tides and furthermore, why it required the entirety of the family to travel to the Keep to settle the dispute. It was not that she did not like the Red Keep, she just did not like sailing.

"Have you eaten?" Jace walked up the stairs to join his half-sister on the upper deck. Even though he was a few years younger, he'd formed a habit of mother-henning his siblings, fitting into the role of being the one who would one day sit the throne and take on the job of protecting them.

"I did, before we left home" Y/N sweetly smiled at the boy, momentarily looking toward him. Jace had grown up to be rather loving around her, given their history of never getting along at first and she was glad to have someone such as himself by her side.

"It's a good thing you do not get seasick like our brother" he chuckled "he's finally fallen asleep now, though I believe he will awake in a rather bad mood"

"He does get grumpy after his afternoon naps" Y/N playfully grinned at all the past memories of Luke waking up and just being an irritable puppy until it was time for tea "Are you nervous about going back? Luke seemed a touch uneasy"

Jace sighed at the question. He did feel a bit hesitant with regards to going back and facing the other half of his family; the half that did not like him. Though, even if he would never admit it out loud, he knew he and his brother played some part in creating a tense atmosphere between them and a certain uncle.

"I won’t lie, I am a bit nervous yes" Jace pressed his lips into a line.

"Aemond?" Y/N asked and Jace heaved a long sigh before he nodded silently.

"Whatever happened, it was all years ago" Y/N tried to provide some comfort "I'm sure he won’t lash out at the mere sight of you"

"Of course you'd think that, he's your friend" Jace chuckled softly to himself "but us boys, we've never been even remotely close to that"

"Again, that was years ago. People change Jace" the older girl looked at him adoringly "and if he initiates anything, I promise I'll be by your side unlike the last time"

"Thank you sister" Jace replied with an appreciative glance though he had a feeling that deep down the princess would side with Aemond. The both of them had been together ever since they’d learned how to walk and he knew that if things ever got heated like the last time, Y/N would once again rush to Aemond's defence.

It took all morning to reach King's Landing and everyone was more than happy to leave the boat and walk on land once again. Thankfully the carriage ride back to the castle was a short one.

Upon their arrival, neither the queen nor her children were present to welcome Rhaenyra and her family. No one had expected for the King to be present for he was far too ill to do so. Still, at the very least his hand, Otto Hightower could make himself present. Instead, Lord Beasburry stood at the doors to welcome them.

"How lazy can one get to not make any effort to simply walk to the doors of the courtyard" Y/N mumbled to Luke and Rhaena "Is it really that big of a task to greet your guests?"

Luke chortled at the older girl's rant. She most certainly was Daemon's daughter.

Once they'd all entered the castle, everyone headed off into different directions to look around. Rhaenyra and Daemon to meet with Alicent, Baela and Rhaena to look for their grandmother Rhaenys, Jace and Luke to have a look at their former training yard. The younger boys went along with their mother while Y/N decided to visit her old nursery.

The castle felt so familiar but at the same time, so different. It was hard to describe but it did have that sense of home that Y/N found rather welcoming.

As she grew closer to her old room, she heard a faint and distant sound of someone singing from within so she cautiously and silently walked closer. She stood by the doorway as she looked into the nursery. It was so much different from when she'd last seen it. The drapes were no longer blue: her favourite colour, but they were now a pale shade of yellow and the cradle that used to sit closer to the window was now in the very middle of the room. There was a baby inside cooing at a man who was looking into the cradle, playfully wiggling his fingers in the child's face as he sang a calming melody.

He had his back facing Y/N but judging by the pearly white hair, It couldn’t be anyone other than the king's sons. He had a lovely voice, Y/N thought. She couldn’t see his face but he had hair that was short, and slightly wavy.

"Aemond?"

The boy leaned away from the cradle, standing at his full height before turning around to face Y/N. There was a moment of confusion before he smiled warmly.

"Princess" he stretched his arms out "I am so happy to see you Y/N, though I am a touch insulted you mistook me for my brother"

Yes, I can see that now, Y/N thought to herself when she saw the boy she was talking to had both his eyes.

"Apologies, prince Aegon" the younger girl smiled back "It's just that Aemond too has short hair and I noticed-"

"Oh, it’s fine Y/N" Aegon laughed as he waved his arm at her "I was just teasing. Did you just arrive? How was the journey?"

"Quiet tiresome. Terrible storm that toppled our boat and then I had to fight off a sea serpent" Y/N scoffed as she pretended to wipe sweat off her forehead "I had to swim all the way back"

"Quiet the adventure" Aegon chuckled but was interrupted by the sound of the baby giggling "Ah, seems like Maelor is just as fascinated by your voyage. Come, let me introduce you to my youngest son"

Aegon gently picked up the babe in his arms who cooed adorably in his father's embrace.

"Maelor, I would like to introduce you to the most beautiful girl in all of the seven kingdoms" Aegon softly bounced the little boy, a gesture that made him giggle.

"Oh hush now" Y/N laughed as she lovingly smiled at Maelor "Hello little prince"

The small boy stretched his arms toward the girl, indicating that he wanted to be carried by her and Aegon let Y/N hold the baby. Maelor looked up at the princess, wide-eyed before he reached up to grab her hair in his little hand, pulling it closer to put in his mouth.

"Ah ah" Aegon tutted as he uncurled Maelor's fingers to free his grasp "Please do not tug on her hair, I'm afraid that job is solely reserved for your uncle, Aemond"

"Aegon" Y/N gasped at the statement that made the older boy chortle at her reaction "Aemond is my friend"

"Of course princess" he suppressed his laughter "do not use that word in his presence, might upset him"

Y/N rolled her eyes. Ever since they were children, Aegon had been teasing them both.

"Y/N?"

The girl tilted her head to see Helaena by the door and immediately her face lit up. The both of them used to write to each other a lot over the years and had grown quiet close. Aegon took Maelor from her arms so that she could greet his sister-wife.

"Oh, I've missed you my dearest" Helaena engulfed Y/N in a warm hug.

"And I you, my darling" Y/N hugged her tighted as Aegon cleared his throat.

"You see that?" He turned toward Maelor "Y/N is stealing away your mother from us"

"Stealing?" Y/N raised a brow "Helaena was always mine. It was you who stole her away from me"

"Oh shut up" Aegon rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

"Perhaps we could run away tonight and get married in Dorne" Helaena nudged the younger princess' arm "You ready the kids and I'll ready Dreamfyre"

"I'm right here, you childish imbeciles" Aegon made a face that had both girls burst into fits of laughter.

"Have you met Aemond yet?" Aegon asked "He should be at the training yard, if I’m not mistaken"

"Why aren’t you training as well?" Helaena asked.

"I was on my way, but Maelor wasn’t in his best mood" the older boy explained "I decided to stay with him in the nursery"

"In the training yard, you say" Y/N gave each of them a curt nod "may I be excused? I should go and.. meet him"

"If you intend to snog him, now would be a bad time" Aegon shouted from the nursery as Y/N walked out "Cole is with him presently but I would be happy to drag the knight away to give you both privacy!"

Y/N shook her head as she laughed at his antics.

By the time Y/N arrived at the training yard, it was for the most part, empty.

The twins who served as knights of the king's guard, Ser Erryk and Arryk Cargyll were putting away the weapons near the little shed under which all the weaponry was kept.

Y/N spotted Ser Criston Cole not too far from the twins and made her way toward the knight.

"Ser Ciston" she greeted and she could swear she saw him jump just a little when she called his name while approaching from behind.

He too, just like Aegon, did not recognise her at first but one look at her unique hair seemed to remind him of who it was he was talking to.

"Princess" he bowed "how nice to have you back after all these years. You've grown even more beautiful from when I last saw you"

"Oh you flatter me" Y/N smiled at the compliment "I was told I would find Prince Aemond at the training yard, is he here?"

"He is"

Y/N bit her lip to reign over the girlish grin creeping to her lips. She hadn’t heard his voice in years but she knew exactly how he spoke despite him sounding nothing like how he used to. The accent, the tone delivery; it was obvious that it was Aemond who was stood right behind her.

The girl spun around slowly to look at the prince. He was taller, so so much taller than her. And his hair too was much longer than how it was a child. She found it funny how she mistook Aegon for Aemond because of how short he'd kept his hair meanwhile Aemond outgrew his hair like how Aegon once did. The only difference was, Aemond's hair wasn't as wavy and unkept as Aegon's. His left eye, or more like the place where his left eye would’ve been, was covered with an eye patch.

He wore black, as opposed to the green he always incorporated into his wardrobe as a child. Y/N liked it, he looked absolutely dashing.

"Hello" she simply said with a smile and Aemond's facial features softened

"Lovely to see you again, princess" he reached out to take her hand in his and brought it to his lips to place a gentle kiss, never once tearing his gaze away from hers.

"You've grown taller" the girl stated and Aemond breathed lightly in amusement, without even a hint of his familiar warm smile.

"And y-you.." Aemond trailed off, still processing the fact that she was standing right before him, her hand still in his. Not realising he'd momentarily zoned out, his gaze fixated on something his mind wasn’t aware of in the present.

"If you are contemplating commenting on my breasts, I would advise you not to" Y/N raised a brow and she heard Cole drop one of the weapons behind her, perhaps in response to her blunt forwardness "Unless you are attempting to have me despise you"

"What- no, that’s not what I-" Aemond fumbled over his words, something he never did. He only just realised that while he had spaced out into oblivion, his disassociated gaze had fixated the décolletage of her dress, that allowed for a bit of her cleavage to be exposed without compromising her modesty "My apologies princess, I did not mean to-"

Y/N chuckled at how his cheeks turned pink, just a tiny bit. She did frown inwardly when she noticed that his freckles that she liked so much had faded away.

"I've missed you" the princess earnestly said as she looked up at him with her beautiful lavender eyes "Issa rōvēgrie naejot rȳ mōrī rȳbagon aōha elēni"

"It feels nice to finally hear your voice"

"Likewise" Aemond responded tenderly. He was slightly surprised to hear her speak Valyrian with such fluency. When they were little, they used to have lessons together to learn the language and she always had a hard time with it. He knew he shouldn’t be that surprised though, she was Daemon's daughter after all. He was well aware her father used to help her a lot when it came to speaking Valyrian, something he wished his own father would’ve done.

"You don’t smile as much" Y/N pointed out all of a sudden. He seemed so closed up and cold. He usually was rather talkative around her, always ranting about something he'd read in a book or about how one day he would have a dragon of his own and they could both fly together. But now he was so rigid, barely saying a few words at a time. It made her a touch disappointed that she was so eager to see him; meanwhile, he seemed not to be.

"You weren't at court" the boy simply replied; a comment that had Y/N grinning ever so slightly and lifted her spirits a bit after his cold demeanour had drowned them.

She wanted to stay and talk some more after years of being able to do so only through letters but she knew her father would be expecting her along with the others. He'd told her that he needed all of them present in a bit when they would go to greet the King. Besides, Aemond did not seem to want to talk to her as much as she did.

"I'd love to talk some more but I must find kepa, he'll be expecting me" she informed as she took a few steps away from him and walked toward the castle. Deciding to push her luck, given her bold nature, she made another statement that she hoped would make Aemond loosen up a bit.

"Ēdā mēre hen olvie gevie līrinon" she told him before she turned away.

"You had one of the most beautiful smiles"

"īlē se drīve inkot bē pōntoma" Aemond whispered to himself as he watched her walk back inside the castle.

"You were the reason behind almost all of them"

Taglist: @yentroucnagol

[artyandink]

Just a little thing from the entirety of my heart:

I have only started properly writing on just Tumblr since a few months ago (haven’t kept count really), but I started an account a few years ago. But in that time, I’ve managed to grow as a writer and a person, got a lot more feedback and followers and publicity (don’t know what to call it otherwise) and it’s absolutely amazing.

I’m not as technically skilled or organised as some of the other absolutely goddamn brilliant writers on here, but I can tell you that I’m so grateful for everything that y’all have done to build my little space here.

I’ve struggled a lot over the years, with depression, anxiety, some degree of Autism Spectrum Disorder and have had some great difficulty with socialising and keeping real friends, which is a bummer. But fanfiction, writing, original fiction- it’s all an out for me. To be someone who I’m not, to escape from everything in the outside world and have one more where people look at me and think ‘wow, she’s so cool’ and out there it’s ‘ew, she’s so socially awkward’ because my social battery doesn’t replenish very easily and I tend to expect the worst.

Now, I know you don’t want to listen to my rant about my hardships, so here’s a selection of people that I wanna thank for making me more confident and more skilled as a writer just in general, which I absolutely appreciate (even if you aren’t mentioned in this list, I absolutely love y’all who support me as a writer):

@zepskies - You’re such an amazing writer here, you deserve every bit of support and love that you get from your readers because you’re truly a natural writer and such an amazing person in general. I only improved after analysing your writing and putting it into practical use. Also, your writing’s like self-therapy for me. You should be really proud of yourself (and this goes for everyone). @k-slla - Same for you, Kerly! Another thing was that I saw you about on Tumblr, and we found each other but you helped bring me out of my shell and gave me the support that I needed, and I’m forever grateful for that. @waynes-multiverse - Wayne, you were one of the first writers to give me your feedback on my first proper, thought out series here on Tumblr and I’m so glad you did, cause I met an amazing person and got to see your brilliant work, again something that I took inspiration from. @jackles010378 - You, my friend, are such a good hype person! You also tagged me in the little ‘get to know you’ posts, and otherwise I’d be a socially awkward hermit, so I am indebted to you for it. Keep on doing what you’re doing and including me even if my social battery hasn’t charged. It’ll shoot up to 100% ;) @angelbabyyy99 - Thalia, I bow down to you and your ability to write CJ. And you’ve reviewed my latest fics and it hyped me up so much that after a section of writer’s block induced by being horribly ill, I’m banging out fics in a day or two that previously would take me weeks. So glad you found me, and I hope you stick around, lovely! @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior - You’re such a good writer, and I recently found out that you were/are/could be in the same boat I am, and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. To know that this isn’t a battle I’m fighting alone meant everything and I can’t thank you enough for sharing your struggles with everyone.

That was pretty heartfelt, but I felt like I had to say it otherwise my heart would burst from being so goddamn happy that I found my community.

The SPN community is so goddamn nice?!?!

Love, Arty 💜

[madisonrooney]

late night/early morning emotional thoughts about miley once again

it breaks my heart how the miley fandom on tumblr died out. i had SO much fun in it in the bangerz era. it was like the second major wave of my miley fandom, with the initial hyperfixation starting in 2009 and going up until the end of HM being the first. even if i was too shy to actively talk to more than like 3 people, i still felt involved and it felt so interactive. to have open discussions going on, to have organic thoughts about things happening, not to mention a couple great update blogs and boatloads of content. it was just great.

i dont think i was fully aware that it was so depleted until when younger now was about to come out and it was essentially a ghost town. it was sad. some time after that i think, i somehow found that there still was an active fandom, it was just on twitter now. that was what really broke my heart. ive had too much social anxiety to ever get twitter (primarily bc the focuses of these fandoms are like. actually on there) and by the time i discovered this, that part of me as far as miley goes had kinda slowed down, likely at least partially as a result of the lack of the tumblr fandom. ive said this before, and i still hate to admit it, but im not at the same level as i was 2009-14, even up until 2016 ish, and theres nothing i can really do about that now. i cant force it. i still love her to bits and have talked about how about a year ago i realized i was neglecting my miley fandom more than i wanted to and worked to make it more active and im so glad i did, but i cant force it to be like what it was then, and thats ok. its not like she herself did anything wrong to cause that.

buuuuuuut there is a little someone else to blame lol.

obviously a certain someone who i started hyperfixating on in 2014 being the only other celebrity i ever hyperfixated on to that degree and is STILL the only other one, being much closer to my age, and being much more accessible to the point where i met her for the first time within about a single year of this hyperfixation and would go on to meet her more than a dozen more times and establish a somewhat personal relationship with her...thats gonna rock the boat a bit. its hard to feel that personal connection with miley that i used to now that i know what a real connection like that feels like. so....i guess if theres anyone to blame, you can only blame miss chloe lol.

bottom line tho, i really do miss that tumblr fandom and wonder what things would be like had it survived through younger now, plastic hearts, and up to esv. but again, i cant force myself to go back to where i was then. its just strange that there are still a decent amount of active fandoms on here but that one practically died out entirely. maybe people feel the opposite of what i do and LIKE being able to interact with the focus of their fandom. i am too nervous for that lol.

[hopepaigeturner]

I hope you don’t mind me saying this but you’re my favourite benophie ao3 author in the fandom by far - I reread your gardener-designer!Sophie fic wayyy too often to be healthy :P and your s4 speculation posts are brilliant!! You don’t have to reply to this ask at all, but in your s4 rewrite, how would Genevieve, Anthony and Benedict figure out that Araminta’s thrown Sophie in jail?

An Offer From an Avid Reader: Anthony and Benophie Pt.4

Firstly in response to the message...

I'm so glad you like The Light in These Shadows!! It's the fic I care and am most proud about and I'm actually planning on getting it finished this summer. And thank you thank you for such high praise!!

Ands ofcourse I'll answer the ask! I love answering you guys--thanks for being patient! Let's dive right in!

✨The Context✨

So...the title.

I wrote the scene below and I've realised that this scene is a really good way of rounding off Benedict and Anthony's arc during this season. The arc goes from Anthony being blind to the support Benedict gives him, to recognising it, to then returning it when his brother needs it the most. Hence why this is part 4 of my Anthony & Benophie post.

But first, as it's been a while, let me remind you of context for the scene below.

Scene: Ginny, Anthony and Benedict pairing up to find Sophie. Call back to 'What is it to admire a woman' which finally gets Anthony to understand how important Sophie si to Benedict.

Eloise being visited by a certain someone who gives her some useful gossip...

Sophie in prison pt. 1 ending with the arrival of Araminta...

The scene below.

✨The Scene✨

Benedict, Anthony, and Genevieve Delacroix enter the frame. The latter two talking and the former unnaturally withdrawn. They pass in front of Bridgerton House.

“I insist you come in for refreshments—we have kept you the entire morning,” Antony says. It seems in their little quest he seems more at ease around Genevieve.

“Oh, I do not think it would be proper.”

“Neither would be my brother marrying an illegitimate daughter,” Anthony quips back earning a smile as they ascend the stairs. It seems he is not the only one whose ice has thawed during this encounter.

“We must find her first,” Benedict mumbles. Genevieve’s face falls.

“I cannot think of another place she could have gone…perhaps you should try the docks? She would muse about saving money and boarding a ship to America…a place where class is not so rigid.”

“America?” Anthony cries.

“I have already asked around the docks, but none are sure they have seen her.” Benedict exhales wearily. “But if she is on a boat then she will be safe…safe from all who could hurt her or failed her.”

“Benedict you have never—”

“I have failed her far too many times.” His eyes are distant; the ball, Penwood Place, the lake, the studio.

The trio start climbing the stairs.

“But if she has gone to America what would you do?” Anthony asks, looking pained at his brother’s drawn face. Benedict rolls his shoulders as if winding himself up then gives a smile—a pale imitation of his usual grin.

“Never fear, brother, I will still be useful. I shall shower your children with presents, be their greatest conspirator for pranks and corrupt them when they turn of age—you better watch out Anthony, your children shall adore me and I will be undoubtedly the best Uncle of them all."

“You could find another—”

“No.” Benedict’s voice is determined but gentle, as they stand in front of the door. “No. There is only Sophie. I knew it two years ago, I know it now and I shall know it on my death bed.”

“Benedict…” Anthony says, hand reaching for his shoulder. Benedict steps away.

“Please, do not—”

The green door slams open.

“We found Sophie!” Hyacinth cries, barreling into them as they go into the hall. The other ladies are following—Violet at the front. “That new gossip sheet found Sophie!”

“What?”

Benedict snatches the paper away—his entire frame trembles when he sees the words.

“Benedict? What is it?”

“There was quite the scene along the cobbles of Grosvenor Square two day ago, when a young woman was accosted by Countess of Penwood on the grounds of the woman stealing from her. Considering the most recent scandal the countess has found herself in, this author cannot guarantee the validity of the countess’ claims. But the constable had no such quibbles when he carted the young woman off to jail…

“That damn witch!” Genevieve remembers her surroundings and curtsies, “I apologise my ladies and gentlemen.”

“Not at all, I can agree that Lady Penwood is an utter b---,” Kate says without flinching. Meanwhile Anthony is reading the paper. In the background is Benedict pacing, running his hands through his hair, his face in anguish.  

“She’s in prison—oh god—she put Sophie in prison. She could hang, she could…”

Anthony looks and sees Benedict ready to bolt—or hyperventilate. He grasps Benedict by the shoulders.

“Look at me. Look at me!”

 Benedict does, his eyes seeking support. And for once he finds support in Anthony’s eyes—not the other way around. Anthony continues, words slow but full of feeling.

“We shall rescue her; we shall free her, Benedict. And you two will be married and you will live the rest of your lives in love. I swear it on my title, and on father’s name. Do you hear me?” Benedict mumbles. “Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” Benedict’s voice is hoarse. “Yes, I do.”

“Good. Now, let us fetch a carriage and free Sophie.” Anthony straightens up and fixes his waistcoat. “After all, if my title means that I am a hoarder of privilege, power and wealth that was built on the backs of the oppressed—then I might as well use it for some good.” he smirks at Eloise whose mouth is open at the parroting of her words.  “Let us go.”

“Wait for me!” Violet Birdgerton calls, grabbing her purse from Mrs Wilson and walking towards the doors.

“Absolutely not,” Anthony states. “I will not have you exposed to—”

Violet brushes him off.

“Oh, Anthony, it is not as if I am a wilting flower. And this is not up for discussion.” Violet does not make a habit of using the divine right of mothers, but when she does it is felt with force. “Also, I can vouch for Sophie’s character.”

A staring match between Anthony and Violet…Violet raises her eyebrow. Anthony breaks the stare. Violet smiles and walks out, calling over her shoulder,

“Now, we must make haste!”

Benedict and Anthony share a look, Benedict nods slightly and follows his mother—still visibly distraught.

Anthony reaches back and pulls Kate in for a kiss.

“We shall be back anon.”

“Bring her home safe, my love.”

“Ofcourse. And make sure Madame Delacroix has something to eat—she has not broken her fast yet.”

“Lord Bridgerton I am quite capable—” but Anthony does not hear the seamstress as he runs out and bundles into the carriage. As soon as the door is shut Anthony, Violet and Benedict cry,

“Ride on!”

And they’re off! But ofcourse the question is—can they save Sophie in time?

*~*~*~*~*~*

As always I’d love to hear your ideas/corrections/opinions and always open to chat or requests.

Concerning this series I think I will be uploading a little more--but right now my focus is going to be on The Light in These Shadows which I want to finish before S3 comes out. I've got some stuff in the pipeline, (Eloise, Kanthony & Sofa scene) but I'll proabably do this series on a request basis.

So, check out the list here, for more of my ideas.

Or check out the general arcs of my prospective S4 here.

[mearcatsreturns]

Favorite 2022 Reads

Last year, I did one of these wrap-ups and enjoyed it, so I figured I’d do another! These books were ones I read for the first time this year (except the bonus, which I re-read this year and really resonated with me) that I enjoyed more than the rest. There’s some romance, some horror, some fantasy...and hey, let me know if you’ve read and enjoyed these, or if you have recommendations you think I’d like in 2023. These aren’t in order of enjoyment because I can’t be bothered to rank that intensely, but are arranged alphabetically by author’s last name. 

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Friends. Buddies. Pals. This book right here. I really enjoyed LB’s YA fantasy books, so I figured I’d finally give this one a shot. And boy am I glad I did. I’ve realized that while I do read a ton of romance novels, the books that usually get me are urban fantasy. This one has horror, dark academia, and commentary on academic elitism and social privilege. Trigger warnings abound, but it’s worthwhile if it won’t mess you up too badly. I’ve already put in my preorder for the sequel, Hell Bent, which will be released in January. 

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

An end-of-the-year surprise! During finals, I don’t let myself read any new books, but this one came in from the library and I didn’t want to risk not reading it. It was a trap...I was going to read it just during my commute, but I could not be stopped. This is a YA urban fantasy novel, but it’s impeccably researched and well-written. Arthuriana meets critiques of systemic racism and traumatic grief and hooooo, it’s good. I’m eagerly awaiting the second book in the series, which was released not long ago. 

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

Listen. Have you ever had the experience of reading a romance novel and then realizing you relate more to the “bad” woman that the male protag dumps so he can get with the sweet, gentle one who will just be the best and most supportive wifey ever? Or that you’ve been in that boat yourself? This book provides justice for all the ambitious women with rough edges that want to see themselves in a romance novel, without demanding that she sacrifice her ambitions and have 55 children (while still being sympathetic to other life paths). Bonus for publishing industry nonsense and complex sibling relationships. 

The Deal by Elle Kennedy

I thought this would be just a fun palate cleanser of a friends-to-lovers college story. And it is that, but it also ended up being so much more. Let’s talk the friends-to-lovers angle--I rarely read a book where I so thoroughly believe in the friendship between the characters before I see a hint of romance. It was so well done. Then, as for the other, it had one of the most realistic and compassionate treatments of how sexual assault can affect people even years later. It wasn’t solved and cured and tied up with a neat little bow, but it was hopeful nonetheless.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Ah, the complexities of grief and recovering from conservative subcultures. Loving your parents but knowing they aren’t doing right by you. Confronting exploitation and exploiring recovery. This memoir is a gut-punch, and it’s incredibly well-written. I can’t wait to see what Jennette does next, even if that’s dropping out of the public eye. 

Bonus Re-Read Fave: Fair Game by Patricia Briggs

I believe I read this for the first time last year, but this year was when it started hitting hard for me. In addition to being a fun urban fantasy novel (it’s book 3 in a series, so perhaps not the easiest to just open and dive into), but ooh boy does it hit. You know how The Deal is compassionate about dealing with sexual assault? Well, this book may take on a fae angle and deal with prejudice, but it’s about the catharsis of someone who loves a victim being willing to burn the world down for them, and I fucking love it. *chef’s kiss*

[navi-tales]

08/01/2023

Today is your birth month and I want to celebrate this day because your existence is the best thing that ever happened to me. 

Did you know that 2 years ago today, I was living in an island, I was recovering and healing from a broken world that drowned me to the idea that I will never find the kind of love that I’ve always hoped for. I’m the type of person that doesn’t want to be alone but I decided to live by myself cause I want to live with my fears but I am glad that I get to meet couple of my good friends now. It was a hurricane of emotions, I was happy and sad, careless and reserved, lazy and adventurous, hopeful and hopeless.

At this very exact date, I also took the risk of going to a SCUBA Diving. Part of me wants to die or at least I’m urging to kill part of me that made everyone left, maybe all the reasons that I made up to convince myself that I don’t have the capacity to make someone stay in my life, I just know from that time that I am ready to leave the world cause deep down inside my core, I am dead inside. But it’s strange, I went to the SCUBA diving school, ride the boat to get to the middle of the ocean, fall backwards into the water off a boat, and start to go down the sea floor. It was deep and dark, pressure is suffocating my human body, I can’t breathe, I can’t hear, my eyes are blurry, that’s when I felt that I’m afraid to die, again, for first time, for such a long time. I hand signaled my SCUBA diver instructor to bring me up, I panicked, thoughts are running through by veins and after the longest seconds of my life I’m back to the oxygenated area where I grasp to catch my breathe heavily.

It was a feeling of relief, to be back in a place where you are not limited to your own senses, I knew from then that I still have a purpose, that there is something worth living for, that there is something that God has prepared for me, more than what I need, more that what I expected, more that what I prayed for, more that what I could’ve imagined.

Who would have thought that at exactly 397 days from the moment that I almost died, I will meet the person that is keeping my soul alive right now. Yes, it’s you, you make that magic, you put me in a light and everything is just illuminating. Your breath brings joy to my inner core, the way your eyes spark whenever I look at you just heal every part of me that were crashed by all the moments life hit me harder than I deserve, the words you speak ignite my soul to crave for the goodness of life. I’m glad that I held on for a little while, you are worth the wait, you are my pot of gold and diamonds, and everything that sparkles at the end of the rainbow after the heaviest hurricane when I’m only wanting a little shed of light and the world sends me a catastrophe. 

It still amazes me everyday and I know deep down the ocean of my being, with every drop of my existence I will love you and everything that you will become.

-R★

[lindwurmkai]

Fascinating thing that's been happening since I started experiencing sexual attraction on a regular basis and consequently also started having sexual fantasies way more often (as well as different kinds than before) is that my brain apparently realised it could use sexual fantasies to process all kinds of shit.

Like. From dysphoria to fears and trauma and phobias, a lot of the negative things I am dealing with end up mixed into these scenarios to varying degrees.

As a result, I went from being someone who was like "I may have opinions on shipping discourse, but I'm not actually into most of the things it's about" to rapidly ticking off boxes as if I were playing the world's weirdest game of bingo. And can I just say, I'm so glad I had already developed an anti-censorship, anti-shame attitude before that started. (Or maybe it would never have happened otherwise. Maybe I would have had one "problematic" fantasy or read one "problematic" fic and then shut myself off from this mode of processing out of shame.)

Some people may find the "ticking off boxes" comment alarming, thinking of slippery slopes. But if there is a slope, what lies at the end of it? Weirder sexual fantasies, greater self-understanding, processed traumas, fears that are now easier to cope with perhaps. It literally does not lead anywhere else. The idea that some kind of temptation to commit crimes irl is even remotely on the same trajectory makes no sense.

Not too many years ago, I had an actual for-real anxiety attack after finding out that someone on a Discord server I had recently joined was into underage fic. It had never occurred to me that people could have benign reasons for reading such things, so I panicked because I thought anyone who could not only stomach that stuff without feeling sick but sought it out on purpose had to be dangerous. But why had I not even heard of this mode of trauma/fear processing at the ripe old age of approximately 30?

Because I was a sex-indifferent and occasionally sex-repulsed asexual. I had only very recently started reading porn on purpose instead of skipping the sex scenes in every fanfic I read, which happened after I got into BDSM and realised that sex could be appealing in that specific context. It was all new to me. I'd had maybe two or three years to explore what that meant for me personally, but in that time I did not happen to stumble upon any discussions of, say, the psychological reasons for having a rape kink or whatever since that was not something I was into and in fact it squicked me out big time.

I was clueless. I had never had a reason to engage with such topics and surrounded myself largely with people who did not, either. Encountering sex talk unexpectedly made me super uncomfortable, so of course I wasn't going to follow anyone on social media who posted a lot of it! I imagine many minors and sex-repulsed asexuals are probably in the same boat.

In the end it was a survivor of CSA talking about their experiences being groomed by so-called MAPs who opened my eyes to the dangers of pro-censorship attitudes, and from then on I wanted to understand. I wish I could have gone through that learning process a decade sooner.

You'll note I haven't mentioned which boxes exactly I have thus far ticked off in my absurd game of bingo, which is in part because I am still afraid of getting in trouble for it and in part because I don't think it matters. The "thus far" is there for a reason; anything else could be added to the list at any moment and it would make no moral difference. Caveat: as a white person, there are some things to do with race that I think if I were fantasising about them, I should probably examine why the fuck. But since that is not the case, I'm sticking to quietly reading along when I see people of colour discuss the topic and otherwise minding my own business.

If you want to talk details for any reason, feel free to DM me because I no longer have any qualms about anything whatsoever lol.

[starredforest]

I am a Digimon fan who is an FSN enjoyer and had what is either a galaxy brain take or complete insanity a few hours ago, and I'd like validation from someone else who's in the same boat

To wit:

"Ruki is a Shirou in the context of Fate route (girl who wants to save everyone desperately trying to get her girlfriend -- the only way Renamon could be more of a Saber is if you gave her a physical sword -- to be a person despite how hypocritical that is) and Masaru is a Shirou in the context of Unlimited Blade Works (the boy who fully realized his own ideals clashing with what is essentially a jaded older version of himself, refining his own strength as a means of protecting everyone and by extension becoming himself)"

Omg hi I'm glad I'm not the only one. Rika is a shirou in the way her ideals are met w renamons in a way that makes her see the flaw in them I think :3

I think rikas story arc is about realizing in order to gain strength, she needs others. She especially has to be on good terms w her partner renamon, who craves something similar to her. Much like shirou and saber they ofc both completely fail to read each other's own hypocrisy for a while until push comes to shove and they're forced to learn how to love one another despite continued mental struggles.

I love tamers but I'd sooo kill for it to get a sequel where like.... Their people skills post "monsters are now real" events are called into question.

Imagine growing up w a series like digimon and like. It's huge. And everyone knows it even if they just think of it as Pokemons strange step sibling series. Now imagine that against all odds, the anime, card game, video games etc somehow became REAL.... And then after a few months it stopped being real again. And then 20 years later you're an adult, and sometimes you think about the monsters that were real. Except now the show, games, etc are all so unpopular, the likelihood someone even knows what you're talking about is low. But the monsters were once real, and you miss them terribly

[ithisatanytime]

Bladee - BBY (music video)

 so about a month ago i made a post where i said that basically women cant vet information, most men cant, joe rogan is the literal pefect example of this he cant vet information on its own merit he can merely judge the person whos delivering it to him and thats how he makes his decisions. i said that girls in my life mostly family obviously im still an incel, will come to me with crap thats been floating around and its always the most wild shit like the ancient civilizations meme thats recently gained popularity again, in that post i said i was glad they did it and its one of the smartest moves a woman can make is vet information through someone they trust to vet it, recently my sister was all worried about the train derailment in ohio where they blew up that derailed train with the chemicals and she was a bit of a wreck about it, not over the top but very worried and i didnt blame her at all when i checked the threads later that night. she actually told me straight up she appreciated that she could run it by me and could trust me when i told her not to worry, i am glad i can help honestly.

 ALL that to say, i also made another post quite a long time ago, possibly years in which i recalled being on 4chans pol board around the time of epsteins arrest and untimely suicide. and i recalled being in one thread where people were organizing a raid of epsteins island and it didnt seem like a larp (that will be the hardest part to belive of this whole story but for once it seemed serious) anons in florida were preparing boats and exchanging contact information, the idea being no one was fucking there they could just boat out to the island and steal what documents could still be had, but that very same night there was a fire on epstein island (google it) and the very next morning reddit was talking about some totally organic raid of area 51 where they were going to steal aliens or some such gay shit, it almost perfectly mirrored the discussed little st james island raid on pol the night before making it impossible to even talk about in relation to the fire that happened that night. it was recently announced that the epstein client list will be released publicly, like it was announced within the past three days, and suddenly everyones talking about aliens. thought it was worth mentioning. 

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?��

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!” 

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

[rafescoke]

All I Ask ; Rafe Cameron (Part 2)

masterlist

#Part 2

#Part 1

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Reader finds herself in the arms of her best friend’s brother after finding her boyfriend cheating on her

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, hella angst, JJ being an extreme asshole

A/N: you guys are truly amazing. thank you so much for the countless amount of love & support for my last works, i love you! 

p.s, my request box is always open! go ahead and drop any ideas bae

“Hey,” he said softly. “You’re okay?”

(Y/N) emitted a laugh, her eyes focusing on the road, but her mind was somewhere else. She cleared her throat, “Um, I don’t think so.”

“Want to talk about it?” he said, and she noticed the grogginess behind his voice. She felt bad now, knowing that she had woken him up, but she was desperate for someone.

She couldn’t go to the pogues; her only friends, not when they knew. They knew all along about Kie and JJ but they didn’t try to talk to her. She thought about Pope, how he had looked so nervous around her since a month ago and how she had thought of it as nothing more than anxiety for his new upcoming scholarship application.

(Y/N) groaned, tightening her fingers around the steering wheel. Why had she been so naive? Why couldn’t she realize the signs sooner?

“Are you okay?” Rafe asked, suddenly jolting up from his bed when he realized how quiet she has gotten. Ever since they got close 4 years ago, there was never a long silence between them as (Y/N) always has a random topic to discuss about. He would tell her that he doesn’t care, but he truly likes the new information she’ll give him.

Like how the word ‘who’ is the oldest English word in the world. 

“Like, the owl?” he asked, scrunching his face. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, licking the slowly melting ice cream, and Rafe had a sudden thought of stealing her snack.

“No. God, you’re stupid. It’s who.”

“Yeah, the owl,” he grunted, thinking hard. (Y/N) looked at him with her bored eyes again, and Rafe took a quick glance at the dripping ice cream.

“No, Rafe, that’s woo. I’m talking about who.”

“You should write it.”

Rafe watched as she used her pointer to write the word ‘who’ on the table using her ice cream. Rafe laughed, finally understanding the joke, and he smiled wider when she returned a grin.

“No,” her voice croaked, and she could feel her tears slowly rolling down her red cheeks. God, she felt stupid. Why would she cry over stupid stuff like this? She had told Rafe before that she couldn’t understand why Bella Swan was too sad over Edward’s flight, saying how Bella had Jacob all along to help her get over him. Rafe rolled his eyes at this statement, muttering something along the words of ‘this is a movie’, ‘Edward is hotter’, and ‘Jacob look like that cashier guy at the hardware store’.

But she understood everything clearly now because she too, felt like staying in her room for the rest of her life. 

“What happened? Do you need me to pick you up?” Rafe asked again, finally standing up from his bed and walking towards his bedside table to retrieve his car keys. He rubbed his eyes, still so tired, but he wanted to make sure she was safe.

“It’s alright, Rafe, you don’t have to pick me up, it’s just, um-” she took a deep breath, “Can I come over?”

Rafe stopped in his tracks, not sure if he had heard her right. He waited for a few seconds, “Huh?”

“Can I come over?” (Y/N) bit her lips, making a turn towards the road heading to Figure 8 from the Cut. The road was deserted, and she looked at the dashboard to check on the time.

2.43 a.m.

“Yeah, sure, um, when are you coming? I just have to wait for you, so you know the new passcode of the backdoor.”

“You guys changed it already?” she asked, and she was surprised to find a smile creeping onto her face. “When was the last time I came over? 2 months ago?”

“9,” Rafe muttered, “But it’s okay. I’ll wait for you, okay?”

“Okay,” she released a breath, “Thank you, Rafe.”

“Yeah,” was all he said before ending the line.

Maybe she did missed him. 

When she arrived before the white building of the Camerons’ household, she could see a figure sitting on the front porch, bending over something that (Y/N) assumed to be a phone.

Rafe was mindlessly playing Candy Crush, just starting on his third level when he heard a car door being shut. He jumped to his feet, ready to greet the girl, but stopped in his tracks when he saw the state of her.

She was still in her party clothes, her (H/C) hair in a messy ponytail and her makeup all smudged. He tried to think of a joke, wanting to lighten up the mood, but his deed was interrupted when she finally had him in a tight hug.

“Whoa,” Rafe exclaimed, putting his arms around her waist. He let her stayed in that position for a few more seconds, liking the warmth, and finally parted after he cleared his throat.

“What’s wrong?”

“I, um-” she sighed, not looking into his eyes. “I got cheated on.”

Rafe was glued to his spot as he watched her wiped her tears with her sleeve, looking down to her glittery blue slippers. He couldn’t remember the amount of times he had prayed for his (Y/N) and JJ to call it off, but he didn’t hope for any kind of cheating to occur.

“I’m so sorry,” Rafe said, pulling her into a hug again. He rested his chin against the top of her head, letting the scent of strawberry wafted into his nostrils. (Y/N) cried against his chest, her face all scrunched up, and when she pulled away for the second time, she noticed the tear stains on his shirt.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she rushed, trying to remove the stain using her fingers even though she knew it was impossible. She was too tired to think logically; she felt like laying in bed and watching Love Island until the day she dies.

“You’re still stupid, even when you’re all fucked up,” Rafe sighed, but he watched her from the corners of his eyes in case his words had struck her, but she looked like she understood the joke. She smiled weakly, pulling on the hem of her dress that had rode up down.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, pulling her by her wrist as he guided her through the backdoor to his room. He showed her the new passcode proudly, mouthing how it was his birthday date this time, and (Y/N) had emitted a small laugh.

Screw maybe, she did missed him.

“And still a mess,” she sighed, plopping onto Rafe’s blue bedsheet as she took a look around the room. The painting of a random boat in the middle of an ocean was still askewed, and his trash can were piling up. She made a face, pointing at the cause of disturbance.

“You have to clean that.”

“Sorry I couldn’t let you stay in our five stars suite, ma’am,” he said, finding an old t-shirt in his cupboard. “You know, since you barged in this hotel at this time, all there’s left is the 3 stars suite.”

“You’re calling this a 3 stars suite?” she laughed, tilting her head to one side. “Rafe, this room can’t even be rated.”

“Whatever,” he pulled out a yellow t-shirt, putting it aside before looking for a new pair of boxers. “Is your room still pink with that weird strawberry pound cake smell?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, crossing her legs. She was glad there were no crumbs on the bed, or else she would rather sleep in her car. “And that smell’s great. My sensory organs are blocked by all the dust you’re collecting in here.”

Rafe grinned, liking how she was back to her old self, and handed her the pair of boxers and the yellow t-shirt. (Y/N) muttered a quick thanks, her feet lightly padding against the carpeted floor towards his bathroom. She closed the door, leaning against the sink, watching her reflection in the mirror.

She did look miserable, and her eyes were all red and puffy. She always hate how puffy her eyes would get after a nice session of crying, having to endure the pain of soothing it down again. 

She shook her head, not wanting to spend anymore time thinking about JJ or Kie or the pogues who had betrayed her, and tried to reach for the zip of her dress. After a few good tries she sighed, relaxing her cramped arms. The familiar yet uneasy pain coursed through her veins, and without wanting to abuse herself anymore, she turned the doorknob.

“Rafe? Can you help me?”

“Huh? Yeah,” he came to the door, closing his eyes before he halted right in front of the object. “Are you naked?”

“No, can’t seem to be, too. Can you help me unzip?”

Rafe opened his eyes, feeling his heartbeat quickening, and with trembling hands, slowly unzipped her dress and stopping directly at the curve of her bottoms, silently admiring the view. 

He cleared his throat, shaking his head at the childish behaviour he just found himself in. “Yeah, done.”

“Thanks, Rafe,” she smiled, and turned to close the door again. Rafe listened to her breathing in the bathroom for a few more seconds, knowing how hard she was trying to ignore the aching feeling eating off of her. He wished he could take her pain away an make it his, knowing that at least he’ll have an excuse to snort more coke to ‘forget the pain’. 

When she got out of the bathroom, Rafe had to stop himself from drooling over her in his shirt and boxers. She always look good, but she had never looked better in nothing but his yellow shirt and his boxers. 

Rafe closed the light, remembering how she hates sleeping with any form of light either it’s tiny or big, and settled himself on the sofa. He wanted to give her space, not wanting to rush anything, knowing how tired she must felt from all the things she had to endure today.

“Rafe, we’re not 10. You can sleep on the same bed as I am,” she sighed, turning to face the other side. Rafe stood up, thanking the gods above, and settled for his new room.

“We never sleep in the same bed before,” he said, pulling the covers to shield himself from the cold. (Y/N) snorted at this statement, still not looking at him or even turning to face him.

The closest thing they have done to sleep right next to each other was in the car during a road trip, and when they woke up, they were both throwing disgusted faces and pretending to vomit.

“Stop it, you guys look stupid,” Sarah groaned, giving them a quick look over her shoulder. Rafe pulled his middle finger from under the blanket he was sharing with (Y/N), causing her to snort and struggling to hide her laugh.

. . .

“So yeah, that’s how you hit it.”

“You’re bluffing,” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, taking over the club and watching the small hole in the distance, squinting her eyes. She took a step back, licked her teeth, and gave Topper the club back.

“See? I told you I’m right!” he exclaimed happily, clasping his hands together. He returned to the game, focusing on his goal, and hit the golf ball.

“That’s fine, I guess,” (Y/N) announced when he came back to the resting area, “For beginners.”

Rafe snorted, downing his mineral water before handing Topper the same bottle. Topper grunted at him, muttering how it’s unhygienic, but he took a full swing of it anyways, being so thirsty after sitting under the sun for hours long.

“We’re glad you’re back with us, (Y/N),” Topper smiled, removing his cap and fanning himself with the clothing. He opened his mouth to say something, but when he looked at Rafe’s expression, he quickly shut his mouth.

He wanted to ask her if she ever missed their old clique when she was with the pogues, but Rafe knew better. It had been 3 weeks since the incidence, and she had been doing so well in coping with the situation. They had been inseparable ever since, always attached to the hips everywhere they go; he couldn’t let one tiny mistake slip that can cause her another breakdown.

“Hey,” Kelce jogged to them, smiling apologetically at Rafe and Topper before placing a quick kiss on (Y/N) ‘s cheeks. (Y/N) smiled, knowing how sweet and gentle Kelce is, almost glad he still does the same thing to her even after they had not been hanging out for a year.

“You’re not dressed for the occasion,” Topper rolled his eyes, “And late. We’re already packing up, man.”

“I know, but I’m wondering if you guys would like to listen to Cage The Elephant this evening by the beach,” he explained, still heaving from his previous activity. He had drove straight from his home to the country club after getting 4 tickets to the show, excited to show his friends what he had gotten for her.

(Y/N) snorted, throwing her arms into the air. “Fuck off, Kelce. There’s no way they’re coming down to Obx.”

Kelce sighed, taking out his phone before showing her the proof in his photos. (Y/N) grinned, trying to contain herself, and looked at Rafe who seemed to be smiling as well.

“Thanks, Kelce,” she laughed, pulling him into a hug. They made her happy, and all the negative thoughts she had about them during her brief friendship with the pogues suddenly evaporating into the air. She squealed, jumping wildly, and she swore she has never felt this happy before.

Just them four. Like the old times.

Four hours later, (Y/N) took a step back when they arrived at the beach, the memory of what happened three weeks ago suddenly rewinding in her head. Rafe noticed how quiet she had been, and pulled her aside while Topper and Kelce went to check on the stage.

“Are you okay?”

(Y/N) bit her lips, nodding. She ran her fingers over the penguin charm Rafe had gotten her a week prior, saying how it resembles him when he sees her. (Y/N) rolled her eyes at him during that surprising moment, touched yet confused at the story behind the penguin charm.

“Okay. Do you need a drink?” he asked again, staring into her eyes. She shook her head, wetting her lips and putting on her usual smile. Rafe grinned at her, muttering how she’s doing so good, all while guiding her towards their two other friends.

“(Y/N)?”

(Y/N) turned to look at the source, not thinking much. She almost fell to the ground when she saw the person responsible, but Rafe still had his arms around her. He turned to check on her again, but followed her gaze when he noticed she was staring at the opposite direction.

“What the fuck?” Rafe yelled, pushing JJ’s chest with so much anger that he toppled over to John B. Sarah yelped, pulling Kie to her side, watching as her brother walked towards them furiously. 

“Chill, man, I just want to talk to her,” he said, taking a deep breath. He noticed the crowd starting to notice them, and his eyes landed on a certain girl who was held up by Topper and Kelce, both asking if she was okay.

“Fuck off, pogue,” Rafe said, his eyes stern as he stared over JJ and his group of friends. “You have nothing to say to her.”

As he turned to return to his friends, his chest heaving from the near-fight he almost encounter with JJ, he bended to (Y/N)’s height to check on her state. Her eyes were glassy, her face red.

“So you’re fucking them all now like a whore?” JJ shouted, loud enough for everyone else around them to gasp, and some already had their phones out. (Y/N) was shocked at this statement, frozen on her feet, not knowing what on earth would make JJ say that to her.

He was never mean to her, even when they had a fight. He yelled at her sometimes, sure, but she had been the one yelling first. He never called her anything of that sort, not even during sex, where she had given him her full consent.

“You’re crazy,” she muttered, her lips trembling. “Go to hell.”

“No, no, because it has always been easy for you, right? You broke up with me, got on with Rafe, leave your own friends and come back to the country clubs?” he laughed, and she flinched at his words. If JJ had meant the pogues as her friends, then he was totally wrong.

“Fuck off, pogue,” Topper stepped out, and before he could finish his sentence, JJ landed a full punch on his face, causing him to fall onto the ground with a thud.

(Y/N) screamed, getting to his side as Rafe returned JJ’s gesture. Topper laid on the ground with his nose starting to bleed, causing (Y/N) to panic while she rummaged through Rafe’s backpack he had left on the ground for clean tissues.

Topper groaned, keep wanting to get up, but (Y/N) held him in place, not letting her friend go and hurt himself more just for her. She cried while she tried to wipe the blood, hearing the fight behind her.

“Fuck you! You stupid pogue! You should be in jail like your dad!”

Something cracked in JJ as he yelled something back in pure anger. He punched, kicked, slapped and hit Rafe who was already on the ground, spitting blood.

“JJ! That’s enough,” Pope pulled him back, trying to contain the wild animal as he thrashed to escape. He yelled more curses at Rafe while Pope tried his best to pull him away, obviously not done with hitting the boy laying on the ground.

(Y/N) cried, running towards Rafe’s side, cupping his face and looking into his swollen eyes. She groaned when Rafe’s laugh filled the air, not believing how he was still joking in a state like this.

“I’m okay,” he said, his breath ragged. “Don’t cry. I’m okay.”

Rafe stood up slowly and looked at the direction of the still thrasing JJ, hearing his muffled shouts with his arms around (Y/N) ‘s waist. He held her close as she sobbed into his shoulder, still trembling.

“Let’s go home?” he asked, and (Y/N) didn’t need to be told twice to follow him into his car. As disappointed as she was that she didn’t get the chance to see her favourite band, she wanted to take care of Rafe, who had been there since the day she found out about Kie and JJ.

The clock struck 12 in the morning and the grandfather clock in the living room chimed as Rafe groaned, feeling a certain girl with trembling hands and tired eyes gently wiping a cotton pad across his cut. 

“Fuck! I said slowly,” he grunted, closing his eyes to decrease the pain. (Y/N) bit her lips, trying to concentrate all the while trying to contain her laugh. He hissed again when she dabbed on his cut, this time with his fingers gripping tightly around her wrist.

“I said slowly.”

“I’m doing it slow, asshole,” she smiled, and felt him softened when she finally threw the last cotton pad. She pulled the covers to his chin, fixing the front part of hair before going to the bathroom to wash her hands. When she came back, she found him still awake with his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

“I really need you to sleep,” she sighed, “To heal your pretty face.”

Rafe grinned and though (Y/N) tried her hardest not to smile back, she couldn’t deny the warm feeling settling in the pits of her stomach. 

“You think I’m pretty?”

There was no use denying it anymore.

“Yeah,” she shrugged, getting into the space beside him. “Even when you are all fucked up.”

(Y/N) could sense his smile even when she didn’t look at him, knowing how soft he usually end up being when she compliments him. She turned to look at him.

“Are you serious about not wanting a girlfriend?”

Rafe turned to look at her, his eyebrows raised. His insides exclaimed happily, liking the way his words had struck her. He meant what he said, but that statement didn’t apply to (Y/N). 

“Why?”

“Just asking,” she shrugged, and made a move to touch his cut. He hissed, feeling a sharp pain soaring in him, but she looked so peaceful trying to figure out his wound.

“You can kiss them to make them feel better,” he grinned, and watched as she groaned, trying to hide her face against the pillow. Rafe laughed, and turned the lamp beside him off, knowing that he shouldn’t push it and leave her be.

Just as he was about to drift into a peaceful sleep, he felt her soft lips against his, to which it was quick and gentle before she pulled away, giggling.

“4 years.”

“Huh?” (Y/N) questioned, still smiling from the kiss she just initiated a few seconds ago. She couldn’t contain herself; he looked so peaceful, so sweet, and so handsome. She didn’t know why she hadn’t kissed him sooner.

“I waited for that since 4 years ago.”

“Now you’re just pushing it, Rafe.”

Rafe grinned against the darkness, and felt his heart soaring. “Can we kiss again?”

“Tomorrow,” she stated, and Rafe laughed.

Tomorrrow. The next day. Next week. 

He didn’t care - as long as he will finally have her by his side. 

-

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[holylulusworld]

A (Vi)king's Love (1) - The Raid

Summary: Raids become a problem. When the fearless king of the North comes for your land, your stepfather makes a deal with the tall Viking.

Pairing: Viking!Thor Odinson x Princess!Reader

Characters: Lady Natasha Romanoff, Maiden Wanda Maximoff, Knight Brock Rumlow, Viking!Steven (Steve Rogers), Viking!James (Bucky Barnes), Heimdall (Seer), Shieldmaiden!Sif, Shieldmaiden!Brunnhilde

Warnings: angst, raids, arranged marriage, innocent reader, soft Viking Thor, flirty Bucky, a tiny hint of fluff, mentions of raids, mentions of sex (barely, implied)

A/N: Originally this series was meant to become a Steve story. It's possible I will write a different version for Steve & Bucky too. (Sue me for wanting Marvel Vikings to invade my blog...)

A (Vi)king’s Love masterlist

“My Lord, they are coming closer to the shore,” one of the knights stumbles into the throne room, panting heavily. “Our men, they are keeping a close eye on the boats but, there are at least ten, maybe twelve.” The knight stiffly stands in front of his king as he tries to catch his breath. 

The man usually is not a fearful one, but the sight of ten boats coming closer to his homeland let his blood freeze and an icy shower run down his spine.

“Let them come then,” another knight replies, patting his sword. “We will fight them with all our might. No one dares to touch our maiden and gold.”

“Sir Rumlow, I appreciate your bravery, but this is not the time to show off dominance. They will run us over, even worse, kill our people. Most of the poor people, farmers, and the church are closer to the chore. They will fall victim to those men first.”

“Ten boats carrying those vultures,” the king exhales a shuddery breath. Not fearing for his people or family, no, he’s afraid he will lose his kingdom and wealth. There is not an ounce of love in his dark soul, so he smirks darkly as his eyes drift toward you, holding one of your ladies’ hands.

You are shaken at the sudden news. “My lady, what shall we do now,” you cry, pressing her hand to your heart. “Those men will invade our homes and—”

“Fear not, daughter,” your mother places her warm hand onto your shoulder. “Your father will find a way to keep all of us safe. He’s a good king, a smart one too.”

“He’s not my father,” you hiss, reminding your mother once again that the man pretending to love her is nothing but an imposer. He took the chance to woo your mother while she was still grieving. All he desired was to become king and steal her kingdom.

He reduced your mother to a pretty face, someone standing stiffly by his side while he pretends to rule this kingdom. The truth is, he’s a greedy man, a cold one too.

“I fear he will not even try to save our people, mother. I fear he wants to do something only to save his life and gold. He’s not a good man, I told you so years ago,” you sniff. “He hates me. Every time he looks at me he sees my father. And I’m glad I look like him. He would’ve saved our people.”

As you run out of the throne room, the king’s features darken. “I want you to send someone to their leader, the one they call king. I want that man to get a message.”

“My king, I don’t think they’ll understand our language. Those creatures are more animal than men,” the knight stutters. “They will kill anyone who gets close to them.”

“Good, then you will fulfill this task,” the king chuckles. “Follow me to my chambers. I want to talk to you in private and then, you will deliver my message to their king.”

“What will we do now,” you pace your chamber, clutching your favorite book to your chest. “Those men, the Vikings will come to our land and do horrible things to our people.”

“I think, we should stay at the castle and believe in our king and the knights. They are strong men, the best,” your handmaiden whimpers as Lady Natasha tries to calm you. “Stop crying, Wanda. You must be strong for your princess.”

“Natasha, don’t chastise the poor girl. She’s as scared as I am,” crouching down next to Wanda you try to soothe the crying girl. “The knights will protect us.”

“My brother, he just joined the knights,” the girl cries. “He’s still new to all of this. My Pietro will die. I just know it.” Wanda rocks back and forth, desperately crying.

“Your brother is a well-trained knight. Stop crying,” Lady Natasha angrily grits out. She hates to feel weak and helpless. Usually, she would just punch a man’s face and dare him to take another step, but now…she doesn’t know how to protect her princess.

Thor takes the first steps on your homeland’s ground. He closes his eyes, inhales the salty air deeply.

The tall Northman smiles, he can feel the wind pinch his face and knows, he will find a strong queen here.

“A good wind. This is where my fate awaits me, I know it,” he calls out for his men, raises his hammer, calls for Odin to grant them protection and strength on their last raid.

“My king, you cannot send someone to bring their king here. This is insane. What do you expect to happen by bringing a vulture, one of these wild men here?” your uncle huffs as the king doesn’t even batt an eyelash. “What are your plans?”

“I will give him a peace offering. A chest full of gold, weapons, food for their long journey back to their lands, and…” your stepfather grins viciously, “I heard their king is looking for a queen. He sailed through wind and storm, attacked country after country only to return empty-handed.”

“A queen,” stepping away from the king your uncle shakes his head. “You cannot offer the princess to him! You don’t know what will happen to her. She’s of your wife’s blood, of my blood!”

“I will save this country,” the king rises from the throne, pointing the tip of his sword at your uncle’s chest, “with or without your help. But,” now he smirks darkly, “if you want your sister to stay alive, you will help me get rid of her daughter.”

“My king,” Heimdall follows his king. He looks into the sky, sighing deeply. He drinks the ether of the new lands in before kneeling in the sand. 

He moves his fingers through the sand, scooping and handful up to dip his tongue into the sand. His golden eyes meet Thor’s, as the king looks for guidance. 

“A rough journey,” Steven muses, setting foot on the strand. He stands next to his king, smirking as he’s itchy for another raid. “I hope this country is full of gold and beauty. I’d like to take one of their lovely ladies home and have an heir.”

“Remember our goal, Steven. We did not come here to find your bride,” Sif watches Heimdall, their seer with concern. “The king is looking for a queen, his àst.”

Steven ignores Sif’s harsh words, rather focuses on the seer kneeling in the sand. 

“Why do you always taste the land first? That’s disgusting,” Steven scrunches up his nose. He shakes his head, disgusted as Heimdall smirks up at the tall blonde. 

“I can sense great danger coming from these lands. We shall return to the boats,” Heimdall grunts, looking at the sand in his hand. “We should not remain here. The king cannot be trusted.”

“That so, my seer,” Thor chuckles darkly. He throws his head back, braids wildly flying in the air. “Let the great danger come. I will face it with vigor and my hammer.”

“My king,” James walks through the sand with bare feet. “I like it here. The sand is warm and the air, refreshing,” the brunette runs his fingers over his braids, smirking as he imagines finding a maiden tugging at his hair. “The women are, softer and warm. I bet I’ll find a nice maiden warming my bed soon enough.”

“Steven, tell the others to wait here. I want to get to know the people first,” the king orders. “Heimdall, tell me. Is the bride you saw still untouched? Is my àst still here, waiting for me?”

“Yes, she remains untouched and unharmed, my king. I just don’t know for how long,” Heimdall raises to his feet. 

He cracks his neck, barely feeling the weight of his golden helmet today. Just like Thor before, Heimdall raises his large sword, praying for Odin’s blessing for this raid. 

“All-father, please grand us strength. Please guide us with your light and let my king find his bride. He is searching for so long to find her,” Heimdall looks up in the sky, smiling as he receives another vision. “My king, she’s nearby. You will recognize her the moment you lay eyes on her.”

“I will let the all-father guide me,” Thor nods at his most trusted men and the shield-maiden. “This will be our last raid for this year. We will return to our homeland, gold, in our hands. Another victory waiting for us on the horizon and a beautiful bride in our arms.”

“Uh-I prefer one of our men, but thanks for the offer,” Sif smirks. She raises he lance to the sky, offering another victory to the Valkyries. “May this raid be successful. May I find a worthy opponent to become my slave.”

One moon later (or 28 days), …

“Father,” you grit your teeth as you must call the man pretending to be a king father. “You sent for me, and my maiden.”

“I did, indeed. We have a guest tonight, and he wants to get to know you, my beloved daughter,” Natasha tries so hard not to sneer at the king’s words. “You know about the men coming to our lands?”

“I heard about them a month ago, my king,” you nervously reply, wondering why your mother and uncle look like they are about to cry. “People said they were on a raid on the coast. That some maiden disappeared, and gold got stolen.”

“The maiden are fine, princess,” a deep voice booms, making you shiver. You lift your head to look in the man’s direction, gasping as the tallest man you ever saw steps toward you.

He shrugs a red coat off of his broad shoulders, showing off his thick upper arms in his armor. Pure strength radiates through his whole being and you are mesmerized by his impressive appearance. 

His long dirty blonde hair hangs loosely over his shoulders. Two thick braids tame most of it his hair, making him look less wild. Unlike the stories you heard about the Vikings, this man looks less than an animal, a murderer, and more like a king, a good one.

You can see the admiration in his companions’ eyes, even though, the man has golden orbs. His golden helmet frames his sharp features, and you wonder how the man looks without the helm covering his long black braids.

“You are even more beautiful than any poem could describe,” you shiver as his large hand reaches out to cradle your face, thumb softly stroking your skin. He looks down at you with soft blue eyes and you gasp as you end up feeling his lips on yours.

The Viking kisses you softly, seals the deal he made with your stepfather. “Your, what…I—Sire!” you gasp, feeling your knees buckle. “You can’t do such a thing with a maiden!”

“Your maidenhood remains untouched,” he whispers in your ear, smirking as you tremble in his arms. “At least until our wedding night, my sweet princess. My fate. My àst.”

“Wedding?” Natasha jerks her head toward the queen, feeling her heart shatter. “You will give your daughter to the raiders invading our homeland. How could you?”

“It was the only solution to save our people,” your mother replies with a monotonous voice. She must’ve practiced her words in front of a mirror as there is no emotion left in her eyes. “The bond with King Pierce’s son will no longer remain.”

“Your highness, my queen,” Lady Natasha cries. She always was protective over you and now, she cannot fathom you will end up as a pawn sacrifice. “You cannot!”

“Silence!” the king yells, turning his anger toward your Lady. “If you do not stop to intervene, I’ll send you to the tower!”

“No, please,” you grasp for the Viking’s forearm, pleadingly looking up at the tall man. “I’ll do anything but please, don’t let him send her to the tower. She only tried to protect me.”

“My dove,” Thor lowers himself to kiss your cheek softly. “Your wish is my command. Sif,” the Viking nods, and a lance is pressed to the knight’s throat who tried to grasp for Natasha.

“My king, shall I kill him for laying hands on the lady?” Sif looks at Thor for confirmation, ready to kill all knights in the room to fulfill her duty.

“No, just make sure he does not lay hands on the Lady,” Thor smirks as one of his men cannot take his eyes off the red-haired woman. “I think James would like to stick to the lady’s side and protect her.”

“Yes, my king,” James almost runs toward Natasha’s side, giving her a once over before he sniffs at her hair. “I like how you smell, pretty lady. Do you want to become mine?”

“What?” Natasha furrows her brows as the wild man looks her up and down. “I’m a lady, Sire. You cannot!” she gasps as James gently lifts her hand to press a soft kiss to her skin. “Sire! I—”

“I think this means yes in her tongue,” Steven snickers, elbowing Heimdall who stands next to your stepfather, searching for the truth once again. “Ask her to become your bride.”

“My lady, do you…” Natasha backhands the rude man, smirking as he rubs his cheek, but steps closer again to sniff at her. “Please, take this as an offering for our bond.”

James hands your lady a beautiful dagger. “What’s this?”

“A golden dagger, made by one of our shield-maiden. My mother,” he explains. “She said I shall give it to my chosen bride one day.”

“Bride? I—” with trembling fingers Natasha touches the dagger. She has a dagger hidden under her dress too, and wonders now why the Viking knows she loves daggers. “How did you know?”

“Uh—I just knew,” James shrugs, hiding their seer told him to bring a dagger with them on this raid. “So, do you want to come with me and your princess?” he asks again.

“Hmm…I’ll consider your request,” the redhead takes the dagger, immediately pressing it to James’s throat. “But don’t think I’ll roll over and have your manhood.”

“Thor, I found a bride. Can we go now? I got a ritual and wedding ceremony to plan,” all too eager the brunette takes Natasha’s hand, holding it tightly. “You can have my manhood any time, sweet lady.”

You chuckle as it seems Natasha found her match. For a moment, you even allow yourself to smile as her face flushes red and she chuckles like a young girl.

That’s until you remember your family sold you to a foreign king. A wild man, a raider invading your homeland to plunder, pillage, and defile the maiden. “How could he do this to me?”

“Behave now, Y/N. You are the princess of this country. Now you can be its savior,” your mother rises from her throne, gesturing toward the wild man standing next to you. “King Thor Odinson of Asgard promised to be a good king. He will leave our country and people unharmed and take you with him. Today.”

“Today?” Wanda cries, grasping for her brother’s arm. “Pietro, we cannot let them do this.”

“It’s decided. The wedding will…well…they will arrange everything, and we will attend it if we find the time and the way to their lands,” your stepfather snickers darkly. “That’s what you always wanted. Adventures and not to marry a boring man. Now you got what you wanted.”

“King Y/SF/N, may I take my bride with me now?” the king nods at Thor’s question and you are about to fall to your knees and cry. “Do not fret, my dove,” Thor whispers knowingly. “My seer told me it is fate that we met. You will become a strong queen.”

“A strong queen,” you look at your mother one last time, feeling tears well up to your eyes as she’s only a shadow of her former self. “I must be strong, for my people.”

“I like your chamber,” the shield-maiden says, stepping into your room to watch you pack your things. “Your king, is a weak and greedy man. Your mother, she should kill him in his sleep.”

You chuckle at her words, even giving the woman a cracked smile. “What is your name?”

“Brunnhilde,” she replies, sliding her fingertips over the dress you placed onto your bed. “Can I help you, princess? What do you want to take with you?”

“I will leave my homeland for the rest of my life,” you sniff. “What shall I take with me, Brunnhilde? Books, dresses, or only a portrait of my mother?”

“You can take everything you’ll need with you, princess. My king, he’s a good man. He would never hurt you, princess.”

“He’s tall and—” biting your tongue you dare not to meet her eyes, fearing she will see the tall Viking ignited a fire in your chest you never felt before. “Did he have a bride before me?”

“Once he found someone, but she refused to become his wife,” Brunnhilde helps you put more things into one of the chests your mother gifted to you for your journey. “I know you worry he will steal your maidenhood before the wedding night.”

“I,” you nod, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Will he hurt me?”

“You must not fear my king. He will not take your maidenhood before your wedding or hurt you. Thor Odinson will be your protector from now on, and so am I...”

>> Part 2

More tags in reblog.

A Vikings love

@deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy​, @needmorereading​

[teddy06writes]

What Could Have Been Was Good, But What We Have Now Is Better

Part Two to You Didn't Need Us Then, We Don't Need you Now

Requested by:

@alistorhq

@hiphopdancer101universe

@trinatiger

@lightbulb77724

plus some anons.

Quackity x reader; past sapnap x karl x quackity x reader

trigger warnings: some swearing, yelling, mentions of drinking/being hungover

premise: The confrontation, and what follows

{Okay, so at first, I was gonna have this as like a collection of various moments that would have happened in the two year span, plus the confrontation, but then I was like but that might be clunky. So, if you guys want, I'll do a part three with the little scenes I had been thinking about}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slowly, the sun began to climb into the sky, beginning to peak out from between the tall buildings of Las Nevadas.

Slowly, you stirred, glaring out the open window at the sun.

For a moment, everything was normal. Your fiancé's soft snores and Charlie's soft humming from the other room almost convinced you that it was just a normal day.

But then you fully sat up, untangling yourself from Quackity's arms and glancing around to where your other 'children' were still asleep in various places in the living room.

The previous day and the reason for your camping out in the living room came flooding back to you as you stood, stretching.

Shaking your head, you went to go get dressed, beginning to recall the so called script you had made yourself the night before.

Halfway through fixing your hair, Quackity ducked into the half open bathroom door, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "Good morning baby."

"Morning." You sighed, "Are you hungover or did Purp get you to stop soon enough?"

"ehhh, it's not that bad..." He said.

You nodded, turning to lean against the counter and look at him fully, "I assume that your in the same boat as me, with this whole Situation...?"

"Depends on which boat that is."

You shook your head, "What could have been was good, but..." You glanced back out the door to where you could hear Fundy and Charlie talking, "I think what we have now Is better."

Quackity seemed to breath a sigh of relief, quickly pulling you into his arms, "I agree. I know that I loved them once... but... even then it felt like being the odd one out... I don't think I'd be able to handle it again. Not after knowing what they'd done. It- it hurts to even see them..."

You melted into the embrace, glad to know he was on your side, "I'll take care of everything. I promise."

~~ After sending Charlie out to go find Sapnap and Karl, and send them to your office, you headed down to your office for yourself.

There you mindlessly organized your desk, with only semi shaky hands.

"(y/n)?"

Your head snapped up, upon hearing Karls voice, "Come in."

They entered, Karl beginning too look around at the pictures on one of the shelves as Sapnap asked, "So, where Quackity? Doesn't seem like a fair discussion if not all of us are here."

"Yeah," Karl agreed, "He should have a say too."

You rubbed at your eyes, "Unfortunately, we thought it best, for me to handle this. Q, wasn't sure he'd- deal with it in the right way."

"Well that's Quackity for you." Karl mumbled, moving to sit in one of the chairs facing your desk.

"Never could fight his own battles- not that this is one." Sapnap interrupted himself.

You frowned, "Well... I'd hardly say that. He's the one who built this place- well, I designed some buildings, he did the rest. Getting the Badlands off our backs peacefully last year was all him. Not so much peacefully as with many threats..."

Karl nodded, almost expecting you to tell the story, but you shook your head, "Anyway, that's not what I asked you here to talk about."

"Of course," Sapnap agreed, "Obviously, our relationship is slightly more important."

You sighed, "There's one thing, actually that I think I should preface with, before I state our position. Where the fuck did you go? Why the fuck did you leave us? And Why do you think you just get to show up now?"

They sat shocked for a moment, and you couldn't help but smirk, gesturing for them to speak, "No, please enlighten me. I'd like to know."

Karl and Sapnap looked to each other, Karl shaking his head, before Sapnap whispered, "We have to, if we want them back."

"I..." He faltered, turning to you, before squeaking, "I- couldn't- remember you- until a week ago."

You froze for a moment, but before you could make any comment, he rambled on, "Because of all this crazy stuff- I travel- like- through time- it was messing with my head- but it's better now, and we're here! To marry you guys!"

You looked at him confused, "Time travel?"

He nodded sagely, "I've... seen more than you can imagine, i've seen nations rise and fall, universes collapse. Hero's that even Tommy couldn't compare too, evils that..."

Karl's voice faltered, and Sapnap reached over to take his hand comfortingly.

"Let me guess. You found out that everything turns to dust eventually..." You sighed, rubbing at your temples.

"It never works out." Tiny tears leaked from his eyes, and Sapnap was quick to get up, pulling Karl into his arms.

~~ "Why did you do that?" Sapnap asked, his voice soft, but still with an air of hostility.

Karl had gone back to the hotel, quickly and quietly, tears still falling.

"I didn't do anything-"

"Clearly you did!" He cut you off.

You shook your head, pushing back your chair and standing, If he forgot us... why didn't you remind him? Tell us about him about us? Or actually come up here like you said you would?!"

"Because maybe I wanted things to be the way that they were! Maybe I liked not sharing! But maybe it was because I had to deal with that!"

You continued to pace as he sat down heavily, "He was going insane (y/n), he saw the end of everything! He had to watch the rise and fall o L'manburg over and over! He's seen the egg come and go! I had to take care of him!"

"And you don't think I've had to take care of things? You two left and I had to put Q back together! I still have to put him together sometimes! I had to keep planning this the whole time! And then I get all these fucking child soldiers all these people that your fucking friend ruined, and I had to take care of them!

I held it all together until it itself stuck- and now I have a family! And that seems like it's more than what you two could've given us! You think you're the one that had to deal with someone who'd seen too much- Charlie's been here since the beginning of the server! He may seem fine but he is haunted!

Don't act like you're the only one whos had to 'go through it' because I made a home and a family and I take care of them- even though you leaving broke me! So don't lecture me! You didn't need us then, and we sure as hell don't need you now!"

You sat down, running your hands through your hair, tugging at the ends and not daring to look at Sapnap.

"Are you serious? Wouldn't us coming back help put you back together?"

"We learned to live without you, and I don't think I want to unlearn, and it seems like my family is with me."

Still you could not make yourself look up at him.

"I guess I understand."

There was a quiet shuffling of the chair, then footsteps, before you could finally breath again and your soft sobs began to fill the office.

~~ It had hardly been two minutes before Quackity was entering your office, kneeling in front of you and pulling you into his arms, whispering about how brave you are.

You cried into his chest, "I didn't think I could do it- what if it was a mistake-"

"no babey, you did perfect. You know it yourself we are better without them. We've got our family we don't need them. You are so, so brave and I am so proud of you. So proud of you (y/n)."

He pressed kisses to your hair, trying to pull you impossibly closer to him, "Thank you... for doing something I couldn't."

You only sobbed harder, clinging to him.

That was how the others found you later, in a heap on the floor.

Wordlessly, Purpled sat next to the two of you, resting a gentle hand on your shoulder.

Fundy found himself sitting as well, leaning against you. Charlie hummed softly as he went about fixing the chairs that Karl and Sapnap had left in disarray.

"Let us take care of you now." Quackity said softly.

The others made noises of agreement, and you let out your final sob.

Because your family was there where Sapnap and Karl weren't. And they would take care of you, the way you took care of them.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Here's what I would have liked to see. We got a long shot of Lena driving through town-- we see the exterior of the quaint shops and business, and then we roll up to the inn, and the innkeeper is all smilely right up until the moment she gets a good look at Lena's face, at which point the innkeeper freezes, with maybe a little fear in her eyes. When Lena checks on her, the innkeeper recovers with a flustered smile and says, "Oh, never mind dear, I thought you were someone else!"

She's friendly right up until Lena's about to get her room key, which is when Lena reveals she's come to investigate her mother, Elizabeth Walsh. The gates go down, walls go up, do not pass go for $200. Lena's left in the lurch. She decides to explore the town then, and the chill of the autumn air eventually sends her into a pub, where she meets Peggy. Having learned from the innkeeper, she doesn't immediately reveal her purpose in town. She simply explains there was a mix up at the inn and now she's out of luck.

"Well, we have a couple rooms above the bar," Peggy says, friendly now that Lena's chatted with her over a couple drinks. It's clear they could be fast friends. "You're welcome to one of them, while you're in town."

Lena takes her up on it, and so Lena stays, and they chat every morning. Lena knows better than to ask directly about her mother, so she asks where she might find old newspapers and birth records. Peggy directs her to the library and old town hall, but despite the hours and hours she spends, she can't find any information about her mother. It's like she's been purged from all the town's records.

In a fit of frustration, she takes to walking the town. This is where she notices the large raven that seems to follow her as she makes her way through the town's streets. She eventually stumbles upon an old cottage, and though there's no name on the mailbox, there's faded scars on the wooden gate where a name used to sit in woodblock letters. Walsh.

She picks her way over the gate that's rusted shut and through the vines covering the path to the front door. Inside she finds moss and mold and detritus. But then a door in the kitchen slowly swings open, as though beckoning her down the stairs within. In the basement, she finds books of healing herbs and tomes of words left illegible by years of damp and mildew. But there's one she can't resist hugging to her chest-- one with the symbol of Acrata on its cover. Inside she finds her mother's handwriting, detailing her life in the town. Meeting the coven, exploring her power... it's all there.

When she returns to the bar, she's elated, and maybe, after a couple of drinks, she lets slip that she's going to try to track down her mother's friends. She mentions the first name, and Peggy, now off shift and drinking too, darkly mutters "good luck with that."

"What do you mean?"

"My mother's dead."

Lena blinks, and realizes she's speaking to a true counterpart, someone in the same boat as her, but with more answers. "Really?? My mother was--"

"Elizabeth Walsh, aye, I knew that the moment you walked in," Peggy replies. "You're the spitting image."

Lena's brow furrows in confusion. "But, if you knew, then why--"

"She killed my mother."

And her father, Lena soon learns, but it's her mother's passing that hurts Peggy more. Hatred burns under the surface, but surprisingly, none of it is directed at Lena.

"I'm not in the habit of blaming the child for the sins of the mother."

When Lena describes what she found in the cottage, Peggy brushes it off. "You don't really believe in that pish, do you?"

But one thing is for certain-- Peggy is glad they've met. She promises to share more of the town with Lena, and share what she remembers of her own mother.

The next day, Lena begins a quiet search for Florence. The raven appears again, and when she gets close to the hovel where Florence is hiding, it croaks at her then flies off. Lena follows it, and finds the cave. There she finds Florence, and learns the truth about her mother. Instead of Florence being her mouthpiece, Elizabeth manifests in front of Lena, and in that moment they're on the sunny hill again, and Elizabeth wraps her arms around her in a fierce hug.

"I am so proud of you, Lena. And I love you so much."

Before they can truly spend time together, however, a raven's call cuts through the air, and Elizabeth stiffens in alarm.

"Something is wrong. You must go--"

"No, I want to stay with you--"

"Go!"

Elizabeth thrusts her hand towards Lena, banishing her daughter from the vision and returning her to the cave, where she finds Florence in a stand off with Peggy-- whose aura is swirling with dark magical energy.

"Peggy? What are you doing?"

"What we should have done years ago," Peggy growls. Her eyes glow with power, yet her gaze is malicious and hungry for blood. "I knew you would lead me to the witch, Lena. Thank you."

"Whatever you think happened that day isn't true," Lena says, only for Peggy to send a warning shot of energy towards her.

"Don't spread her lies--"

"I saw it!" Lena snaps. "Your mother was as guilty as mine."

"Shut up!"

"She died of guilt, not grief!"

"Enough!"

Peggy unleashes a wave of energy, only for Lena to instintively throw up a shield of her own when she lifts her hands to protect herself. A warm hand settles on her shoulder, and when Lena looks over, a shade of her mother is there, nodding in solidarity. She will protect Lena, through Lena's own gift, as best she can.

"I know what it feels like to lose everything," Lena says, appealing to Peggy's better half. "Trust me when I say killing Florence won't bring back what you've lost, and it won't make you feel better."

"You don't know what it's like-- you don't!"

"I do. Trust me, Peggy, I know."

"I'm alone because of her! My whole life ended when my mother died, and it's her fault!!"

"You're not alone," Lena says. "Look around you. We are the only two people in the world who know what you've been through. I lost my mother too, and Florence... she lost them both."

Peggy's rage eases, clearly losing strength, but not quite subsiding completely. Lena pushes further.

"I know what it's like to lose everything you love most in the world. Sometimes, it feels impossible to recover. And vengeance... it feels sweet for a time, but it won't fill the hole inside you. Trust me on that."

"Then what will?" Peggy asks weakly. This time, when Lena reaches for Peggy's hand, their palms meet in a collision of sparks, but then seal together in a bloom of warmth.

"Love," Lena says simply.

Peggy blinks, and her eyes fill with tears. She sags into Lena, who embraces her fully.

"I miss her so much," Peggy whispers into her shoulder.

Lena nods. "I know." She looks at the fading apparition of her mother, her gaze drinking in the faint smile. "So do I."

[canirove]

The Lord in Blue | Chapter 2

Author’s note: Thank you very to anyone who read the first chapter and for all the notes it got! I was expecting two or something like that tbh 😅 Hope you like this one too 😊

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Cousin!"

"Your majesty" I reply while bowing.

"Oh, please. Stop that and come give me a hug!" I've never liked hugs too much, but I didn't know how much I had missed my cousin's. They always were special. "Now, tell me" she says while breaking our embracement. "What happened to you? Why did it take you so long to get here? We have so much catching up to do! Let's go talk while we eat, you must be famished."

As I leave for my room, I start thinking about who that perfect man could be. How he could look like. Maybe blonde, with green eyes, and definitely tall. She always liked men to be tall. But my mind only shows me one person. Lord Mount.

I follow her to a different room where a table has been set with some of my favorite meals. We take a seat, talking and eating for hours. It's almost midnight when we choose to retire to our rooms.

"I asked them to clean your old room, change some new things that I think you will enjoy. And rest as much as you need. My morning is busy with boring meetings, but we'll meet for lunch in the gardens. We still have to talk about him" she says with wink.

      ━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

It's almost lunch time when I manage to get out of bed. I was way more tired than I expected. And even though it's been years since the last time I was at the palace, I still remember every corner, where each room is. In the gardens, a big tent has been set for us to eat, the Queen already there. As we sit to eat, she starts telling me about the changes she's done, how she's improved things. When we make it to the desserts, she asks me to take some and join her for a walk.  

"His name is Mason" she says.

"Who?" I reply, not understanding what she's talking about.

"The man I told you about on the letter! You read that part, didn't you?"

"Oh, that" I say.

"Yes, that" she replies, rolling her eyes. "I think you are going to like him very much. The more I think about it, there more I see how perfect you are for each other."

"Uhm" I kind of reply while eating some of the cherries I brought with me.

"He's very handsome. Not the usual handsome you read on novels, but he still has something that catches your eye. He's not very tall, but you never were too fussy about it the way I am. He's from the south coast, and he is very close with his family. They make boats for the crown as the family business. I remember Father used to say that they make some of the finest boats in the country. He's loaded of course, and already has a title of his own. He's a few years younger than us, but oh well. If men can marry girls who could be their daughters and get away with it, why can't we women marry someone a few years younger?"

"He isn't a child, is he?" I ask, already fearing the worst. "I don't want to look like his mother next to him."

"He's not, I promise. Sometimes he behaves like one, but all men do. And..." She says while getting closer, smiling the way she used to do when she was plotting how to skip our lessons to go to the woods. "A child doesn't do the things he does with his tongue."

"Cousin!" I say way too loud, my face already burning.

"Oh, don't be like that. You should be glad we know he's a great lover. Not unpleasant surprises on that field when the day comes. Quite the opposite."

"I... Wait... How do you know?"

"We were lovers for a while" she says, giving it the same significance as if she was talking about the weather.

"You want to marry me to your lover?" I say, raising my voice too much and forgetting my manners and that a couple of knights are following just some steps behind.

"Ex-lover" she corrects me. "I know how it sounds, cousin. But trust me, there was no love there, and it ended a long time ago. We both have moved on."

"There is no catch" she says. "He's great, but just not for me. I would never introduce you to a bad man, you have to believe  me."

I don't know how to feel. I'm so shocked I think I've forgotten how to speak.

"Why... why did it end? What's the catch. There must be something."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

During the next couple of days we keep hanging out as normal, acting as if that conversation in the gardens hadn't happened. I've been busy helping her choosing the decorations for the Summer Ball, the food, what we are going to wear, the music that will be playing. Turns out I'm pretty good at all these things.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

The day of the ball is here, and lords and ladies from the whole country and beyond are attending. We get ready in her room like we used to do when we were younger, and when we make it to the big salon, it is packed with people, everyone looking at us. That is a feeling I didn't miss. At all. But before I can start hating everything, people come to greet us, and after a while, I lose count of all the people I've met. Names get mixed, I've drank too much champagne, and I can't feel my feet anymore.

"Why would I... Oh" I say when I finally realize. "It's him, isn't it? You want to introduce me to him." He is here. Of course he is.

When I finally think I can have some rest, my cousin drags me to the other side of them room.

"There is someone else I want you to meet. Please don't  be angry at me" she says, almost pleading.

"It'll be just a small introduction, you don't have to talk to him" she says while I let her take me to him. "He's the one giving us his back, the one in blue."

That blue... I've seen that shade of blue before.

"Lord Mount" she calls.

"Lord Mount, allow me to introduce you to my cousin, Lady..." I don't know what she says next. They are talking to me, but I can't hear them. Their faces are blurry, everything starts spinning, my knees feel weak. It's like I'm drowning. But before everything goes dark, I see one last thing. Him.

Oh no. Oh no no no. It can't be.

The moment he turns around, I can feel his eyes on me. At first he doesn't recognize me, but he definitely finds my face familiar. When he realizes who I am, a little smile shows up in his face. And so does his dimple, making me suddenly feel too hot, my dress becoming more and more tight around me.