Of Duty and Desire | Chapter 4 | Neteyam x Metkayina!reader
A/N: So, ya girl got COVID on Monday, so I’ve had to miss work all week, but let my misfortune be your blessing bc I was able to finish this chapter early. Thank you for all the love from this fic, it’s almost finished!! I promise the next part will be fluffier, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy angst :)
Words: 6.5k
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Epilogue
Fate seemed to be making a fool out of you. Before, when you wanted to see Neteyam, it was like he was never there, but now, one week after his confession, you were constantly running into him. To make matters worse, you were never alone together. There was always someone there to force the two of you into awkward interactions that you both wanted to avoid, and you would just have to pretend like everything was fine.
What was surprising was that nobody seemed to notice. Nobody paid any attention to the fact that you two were almost like strangers to each other. You wouldn't even look at each other if you could help it, though you couldn't resist watching his face every now and then when he wasn't looking.
You felt miserable, and there was no way to stop it. You had nobody to talk to about it since the one person you would go to was the one person you were avoiding. You wished that you had listened to him, that you hadn't pried, because now he didn't even acknowledge you in public. He would just nod politely like he would any stranger, or sometimes he wouldn't do anything at all. He would just walk by like you weren't there.
The only person who could manage to take your mind off of Neteyam was Tsireya. The two of you were inseparable, and even though you felt you couldn't tell her the truth about Neteyam, being around her eased the hurt you were hiding. You would often ask her to accompany you on errands around the island just so that you wouldn't have to be alone with your thoughts.
On one such occasion, the two of you were planning a trek up the island mountain to gather as many star berries as possible now that they were in season. You each had a large basket and a pouch full of water as you set off towards the trees to the mountain. As you crossed the beach, your attention was drawn to the figures of Lo'ak and Neteyam not far off.
You looked away quickly and hoped desperately that they didn't see you, but your luck didn't hold because Tsireya saw them, too. You sighed as she called out for the boys, and they both crossed over to where you both stood. You gave Neteyam a quick glance before looking down at the sand.
"We are heading up the mountain to pick star berries," Tsireya explained with a shining smile. "You should join us!" Lo'ak returned her smile eagerly and replied, "Sure, that sounds like fun." You stifled a sigh. Of course, he would agree to come with the two of you.
Neteyam glanced back and forth between you and Lo'ak uncomfortably. "Actually, there is something I need to go do," he said quietly and took a step back. Lo'ak shot his brother a confused look. "What are you talking about, bro?" He asked, giving Neteyam a light smack on his arm. "Don't be a wuss, come on."
Neteyam looked carefully over at you and hesitated. You realized that he was gauging your reaction to see how he should reply. If he came, it would force the two of you to interact more than you had the whole week put together. At first, you were inclined to react negatively, but after a split second, you said, "These baskets will be heavy when they're full. It would be nice to have more hands to carry them."
Neteyam blinked in surprise before nodding slowly. "Alright," he conceded. Honestly, you surprised yourself. Maybe it was for the best that you avoided him, but doing that was already causing you so much misery. If you could try and ease the tension between you, perhaps you could regain some semblance of your friendship again.
The four of you walked together into the trees. Tsireya and Lo'ak stepped side-by-side while you and Neteyam each walked on the opposite sides of them. You listened to their chatter while occasionally joining in to seem less awkward.
The path through the trees eventually narrowed so that only two at a time could walk together. Tsireya and Lo'ak pushed through together, forcing you and Neteyam to fall behind them. He hadn't said a word this whole time, and it seemed he would keep it that way unless you interjected.
"Hi," you said softly, looking up at him with a faint smile. He glanced over at you in mild surprise before replying back, "Hi." You took a couple of steps in silence while you thought of something better to say.
"Listen, I—,"
"I'm sorry—,"
You both rushed to speak at the same time, cutting each other off. Awkwardly, you both gave weak smiles before Neteyam said, "You first." You took a breath to regain your thoughts before speaking.
"I wanted to say that we shouldn't have to be so formal around each other," you explained quietly. "I miss speaking with you, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life treating you like a stranger." He took a couple of steps in contemplation. "And how should we be around each other?" He asked thoughtfully.
You gave a soft shrug. "Like friends," you suggested. He didn't say anything for a moment, he just looked up the trail where Lo'ak and Tsireya had disappeared to. "Friends," he repeated slowly like he was testing the word in his mouth. You nodded. "Friends," you confirmed.
He seemed dubious, but he nodded with you. "It's your turn now," you stated. "What were you going to say?" He looked over at you with a faint smile that quickly faded away. "I am sorry for my behavior lately," he told you sincerely. "I wasn't sure how to handle everything, so I just decided that avoiding you was for the best."
You sighed as you looked down at the shrubs around your feet. "I understand," you said. "And I am sorry for what I did, too. I should not have pried, it was wrong." He shook his head with a sigh. "I was pulling away," he explained. "You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."
You walked in a slow silence for a while. The path through the trees was now clearing up and turning upwards into the mountain. Lo'ak and Tsireya were already way ahead of you. "Keep up!" Lo'ak called from above with a laugh.
You and Neteyam shared a look before increasing your pace across the ground. The terrain was growing rocky, and your large basket made the ascent a little awkward. At one point, you stopped before a steep boulder, trying to figure out the best way up. Neteyam scaled it easily before turning back and offering his hand wordlessly.
You hesitated for half a moment before taking his hand, and he effortlessly pulled you up to him. You stood face-to-face for a moment with your hand still in his. His eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes and lips for a beat before he dropped your hand and took a step back toward the trail.
Heart pounding, you sighed and shook yourself mentally. Friends, you reminded yourself. Just be friends. You pressed on after the others ahead of you.
Before long, you all came upon the bushes of star berries that grew along the trail. The four of you immediately began picking, feeling triumphant about finally reaching your destination. All around you, the bushes spread over the ground and intermingled among various plants and flowers.
"Don't eat them!" Tsireya scolded Lo'ak playfully as he popped the berries into his mouth. You couldn't help but laugh as he skipped out of reach from your friend's swatting hands. "Just a couple won't hurt," Lo'ak argued with a grin.
He headed further up to start picking the berries further away so he could snack on them without fear of getting whacked for it. You shook your head at him with a smile as you, Tsireya, and Neteyam worked closely together to harvest the sweet food. "That skxawng is going to eat them all," Neteyam stated with a sigh, earning a laugh from you and Tsireya.
"I'm glad the rain lilies are still in bloom," you noted. "They are so pretty." Tsireya hummed in agreement. She leaned over to where a large, red flower grew from the ground and plucked it. With a smile, she turned back to you and placed it behind your ear.
"There," she said proudly. You laughed at her playfully but kept the flower in place. "Doesn't she look beautiful?" She asked Neteyam. His eyes glanced up at your face, and he smiled softly. "Very," he agreed after a beat.
You turned your head away to focus on picking more berries while you felt a warm blush spread across your face. Maybe having him come was not such a good idea.
Slowly, you made your way up the trail with your basket growing heavier and heavier. Tsireya had gotten up and moved over to Lo'ak to keep him from eating all the berries he picked, leaving you and Neteyam to work in silence together. You wanted to say something, but the words just didn't seem to flow like they used to. Now, it seemed that you had too much to say and no way of saying it.
After you had cleared most of the bushes around you, you stood up to move further up the trail. As you stood, the flower resting behind your ear came loose and fluttered down to the ground. Before you could stoop down and grab it, Neteyam reached over to where the flower had fallen and picked it up. He stood up beside you and brought his hand up to your head.
He carefully placed the flower behind your ear again, his fingers brushing against your hair as he stared down at you. You felt paralyzed as you looked up at him. His eyes were trained on the lily for a moment before moving to look at your eyes. You could see the longing in his face as his fingers slowly moved down and gently traced the edge of your face, causing your breath to falter.
With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and pulled back. "Friends," he muttered under his breath as he grabbed the basket off the ground and moved over to where the others were. You stood there for a moment and took a deep breath. This definitely wasn't a good idea.
You all continued collecting berries until both baskets were completely full. Together, you and the others hauled your harvest back down the mountain, Lo'ak and Tsireya walking together with a basket between them, leaving you and Neteyam to walk together with the other basket in silence.
"Surely, we can have a normal conversation together," you said finally, breaking the awkward silence between you. "I miss talking to you." Neteyam didn't say anything for a beat before responding, "I miss talking to you as well." He looked over at you and studied your face for a moment. "I just—," he hesitated, and you both slowed your pace. "I don't know how to be 'just friends' when I feel the way I do," he admitted. "Or when I know how you feel, too."
You looked away from him, feeling slightly abashed. "I know," you said quietly. "I wish it was simple." You kept walking a few paces before stopping, forcing Neteyam to stop with you. "You know why it must be this way, yes?" you wondered aloud, staring up at him intently. He hesitated and took a deep breath.
"Yes," he answered quietly. "I know that you have a duty to uphold to your people." You nodded solemnly, turning back to walk down the trail. Neteyam didn't move though, and you looked back up at him questioningly. "But if you had a choice...," he began slowly, watching you carefully for your reaction.
You shook your head and gave him a warning look. "Don't do that," you told him in a low voice. "There is no choice, and wishing that there was will only make this worse." You noticed how his jaw flexed at your words as he stared down at you. You held his gaze for a moment before he looked away with a faint nod and continued down the path.
The truth was that you did wish that you had a choice. You tore yourself up over it day and night, yet somehow, it was more painful knowing that he also participated in that self-inflicted torture. Hearing it out loud made you aware of just how hurtful wishful thinking could be when there was no possibility of it coming true.
Still, Neteyam didn't seem happy with what you said, and he didn't say anything else for the rest of the trip back to the village. When you arrived back, you left your baskets with those preparing the food for the night. Neteyam immediately began walking away back toward the beach, but you still felt dissatisfied with how your conversations ended and wanted to give it one more try.
"Neteyam," you called out, stepping quickly across the sand to catch up to him. He stopped walking at the sound of your voice, but he didn't turn around. You grabbed his arm gently and pulled him around to face you. He turned to you with closed eyes and took a deep breath.
"Can you just tell me what you're thinking?" you pleaded softly. He opened his eyes and looked down at you tenderly. He waited a moment before speaking. "I want to be with you," he quietly admitted at last. "All the time, every day, I want to be with you." You stared up at him wordlessly as he took a breath. His face was gentle and forlorn as he gazed down at you.
"But you have an obligation to be with someone else," he continued with a slight shake of his head. "So, as much as I want to be with you, I think that me staying away is for the best." Your jaw clenched reflexively at his words, feeling the sting of them deep in your chest.
You stood there, not sure of what to say to him. "I am sorry," he whispered earnestly. "This is how it must be." Your eyes met his, and you could see that he truly looked regretful at what he was saying. He could only hold your gaze for a few seconds before he turned around and walked away, leaving you standing on the beach hurt and alone.
The hurt hadn't subsided by the next day, but you carried on as normally as you could. You didn't see him at all the whole day, even during meal times. He seemed to be committed to his resolve of staying away from you.
Later in the day, you were working in Ronal's tent when, from the corner of your eye, you saw a dark blue figure enter into the tent. With a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes. "I thought you said you weren't—," you cut yourself off mid-sentence as you opened them again. Lo'ak was standing there with one of his human-like eyebrows raised apprehensively.
"Sorry," you muttered, slightly embarrassed. "I thought— I thought you were Neteyam." With an awkward look, Lo'ak replied slowly, "Uh-huh." Taking a breath, you asked him, "What can I help you with?"
He studied you for a second. "My mother sent me to get something for a stomachache," he explained. You nodded and pushed yourself up from the floor to walk across the tent.
As you were searching for the appropriate remedy, Lo'ak said, "Speaking of Neteyam—," You sighed in exasperation at his words. You did not want to talk about Neteyam, especially not to his brother. "Sore subject?" Lo'ak observed. You shook your head, trying to remain as neutral as possible. "Why would he be?" You asked mutely.
From the corner of your eye, you could see that Lo'ak crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know," he replied, "but you're definitely a sore subject for him." You glanced over at him for a second before turning away, but you caught the expectant look on Lo'ak's face.
"What's going on with you guys?" He asked in concern. You paused, deliberating whether or not you should tell your friend what had happened. "It's nothing," you told him, grabbing a handful of leaves. You turned back to him and handed him the remedy. "Soak this in water and have her drink it," you instructed.
Lo'ak took the leaves but studied your face closely. "Whatever is going on with you," he said slowly, "it's killing him. I've never seen him like this before." Your chest tightened painfully, and you closed your eyes, fighting to stay composed. "Lo'ak," you pleaded quietly. "Just leave it."
He stared at you, unsure of what to do or say. Finally, he said, "Listen, I know that my brother can be annoying, but he cares about you a lot, you know?" You looked down at the floor. "I know," you responded quietly. Lo'ak shook his head. "It doesn't really seem like it," he countered. You felt your impassive countenance crumble as your throat tightened, and you looked up at him slowly.
"I know," you whispered.
Lo'ak froze, and his whole demeanor shifted as he realized what you were saying. "Oh," he replied in a loud whisper. "He told you?" You sighed regretfully. There was no point in denying it now.
"I sort of forced it out of him," you admitted. He hummed in understanding. "So that's why you guys have been acting weird," he surmised. You looked away from him with a faint nod. "It has been difficult for us to be around each other," you told him.
"What does Aonung think?" Lo'ak asked. You shook your head. "He doesn't know," you explained. "He can't know." Lo'ak raised an eyebrow at you. "You didn't tell him?" he sounded surprised. You sighed and ran a hand over your face. "Of course not," you replied. "It would just lead to more problems."
There was a pause, and from the corner of your eye, you could see Lo'ak watching you carefully. "Aonung does not have feelings for me," you explained slowly. "But if he finds out that Neteyam does, he will be very angry with him. And with me." Lo'ak looked at you in curiosity. "Why would he be angry with you?" he questioned.
You didn't respond for a moment, you just turned and looked up at him sadly. "Lo'ak," you whispered urgently. "It's not just Neteyam who has feelings. I...," you trailed off, hoping that he could pick up on what you were trying to say.
Fortunately, he did. "Oh," he whispered, and then his eyes widened at the realization of what you were saying. "Oh." He looked behind himself to make sure nobody was lurking by the entrance before he asked in a loud whisper, "You like him back?!"
You shushed him with a light smack on the arm, feeling embarrassed at his conclusion, but you were not able to deny it. "Oh, that is bad," he continued quietly, unfazed at you hitting him. "I thought you loved Aonung." You closed your eyes in exasperation. Maybe you should have kept this to yourself.
"We are betrothed," you explained in a hushed tone. "But we do not have feelings for each other. We never have." Lo'ak crossed his arms as he looked at you with a puzzled face. "Then why would you agree to be with him if you guys didn't like each other?" he questioned.
You let out a huff of irritation. Was he really this oblivious? "Don't you see?" You said desperately. "This has all been arranged since I was younger than Tuk." Lo'ak's eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed taken aback somewhat. "What do you mean?" He asked.
You sighed and shook your head. "My mother and Ronal have been close friends their whole lives. So, when my mother had a daughter and Ronal had a son...," you sighed in resignation. "It was obvious." Lo'ak didn't say anything as he watched you carefully. "When I turned 15," you continued, "they did a formal announcement, but it was all for show. I knew Ronal had chosen me, and saying yes seemed like the right thing for the People."
You paused as you remembered the day. Your family had seemed so happy, as did his. With hundreds of eyes on you, you accepted the role of tsakarem in front of the whole clan. You hadn't realized at the time what you were giving up, but how could you? You had never planned on falling in love with an Omatikayan warrior.
"So," Lo'ak began slowly, "you never really wanted any of this, did you?" You shook your head sadly. "No," you whispered. "And I cannot give up my position without bringing shame and dishonor to myself, my family, and Aonung. I would practically be an outcast." He nodded and gave you a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry," he told you earnestly. "Being an outcast is no fun, trust me." You gave him a weak smile and sighed again.
"You cannot tell anyone this," you said insistently. "Not Kiri, not Tuk, and definitely not Tsireya." You shot him a pointed look. Lo'ak raised his hands in surrender and said, "Alright, alright. Your secret is safe with me," then added as an afterthought, "but it won't be safe for long if you two don't figure out some way to act normally around each other. People are going to notice."
You nodded mutely at him. He was right— people would notice if you continued with this estranged relationship. "Thank you," you said quietly. "For listening and for keeping this quiet." He nodded softly and chuckled.
"If this gets out, Neteyam would be in more trouble than I've ever been in," he stated in amusement. You shot him a glare and smacked his arm again. "That's not funny," you told him in a serious tone. "Alright, it's not funny," he conceded with a wry grin still on his face. "I'm going to take this to my mother now."
You nodded and watched him leave. It felt nice to have a confidant, but your stomach still twisted with anxiety. Of all the people who could have found out, did it really have to be Lo'ak?
You were relieved, however, that Lo'ak seemed to keep your secret. He didn't tell, and he didn't try to interfere with the mess between you and his brother. You still didn't see Neteyam around very much, and it still hurt knowing why.
The first time you saw him again after picking berries was just a couple days after Lo'ak found out. You were all eating dinner together when Aonung came up to your circle of friends with Neteyam at his side. "I have found our wayward friend," Aonung joked as he sat down beside you. Neteyam had not sat with you all in nearly a week, and the others had started to notice his unexplained absence.
"Is it so bad for one to eat with their parents?" He defended with a small smile. Aonung rolled his eyes playfully. "If you don't like us, just say so," he replied. Neteyam chuckled at his friend and sat down across from you. You didn't bother looking at him, keeping your eyes trained on your food.
"Tomorrow, all of us are going hunting out past the reef," Aonung told him. "You should come with us." Neteyam paused in consideration. "All of you?" He asked casually, but you knew why he was asking.
"Not me," you interjected. "I am working with Ronal all day in the village, so I cannot go out hunting with them." Aonung nudged you gently. "You do not even like going out past the sea wall," he noted with a knowing smirk. The corners of your mouth turned upwards. He was right, you much preferred staying in the reef. It was much more beautiful than outside the drop-off, and you enjoyed the peacefulness of it all.
"I know," you said, nudging him back, "but I still wish I could choose." Neteyam couldn't help but give a quiet huff at your statement and replied quietly, "Wishing for a choice you don't have always makes it worse."
Neteyam hadn't really meant for you to hear it, but you did. The smile on your face immediately vanished, and you stared down at your food again. He saw your reaction and immediately knew that he had crossed the line. You didn't look at him or say anything else for the rest of the meal, and it weighed on him heavily. He decided to wait until you dismissed yourself to go and apologize in private, but you finished at the same time as Tsireya, and without another word, you left with her.
After everyone had finished eating, Neteyam went off on his own to find you before it grew too late in the evening. He walked through the village to where your home was, but he soon found it was empty. He was walking back towards the beach again when he came across Tsireya, who informed him that you had gone out for a late-night walk alone.
"She said she needed to clear her mind," she explained to him with a small shrug. Neteyam nodded gratefully and continued walking along the beach. He knew you enjoyed unwinding on the beach like you had the night he took you out on his ikran, and so he trailed the perimeter of the island in hopes of coming across you.
He wandered further and further away from the village until he came across the edge of the sea wall where the water ran over the edge of the rocks. He paused. When I need to clear my mind, I have a secret place I like to go to. That's what you had told him before. Looking around, he recognized this as the north end of the sea wall, right where you told him you go.
Glancing around to ensure that no one was present to see him, Neteyam walked into the waves and began swimming out toward the overflowing water. The rocks of the sea wall stood out high above the rest of the sea, and the falling water produced a steady roar that drowned out most of the noise around.
Taking a breath, Neteyam submerged himself under the water where you said the cave entrance was. It was difficult to see, so he kept a hand on the rock as he swam deeper and deeper until it gave way and started receding away from him. Following the tunnel with his hand, he swam into the entrance of the rock until he began to see a faint glow ahead. He didn't have to swim far before the tunnel turned upward and his head broke the surface of the water.
You were sitting beside the pool of water that Neteyam had popped up from, and when you saw him, you gasped in surprise and jumped to your feet in alarm. "You scared me," you whispered harshly as you took a couple of steps back to regain your composure and calm your startled heart.
"I'm sorry," he said earnestly, but he couldn't resist a small smile at your reaction. "I thought I would find you here." You sighed in resignation. "You are the only one who could," you replied under your breath, sounding almost regretful that you had revealed your hiding spot to him.
Taking in the sight of the cave, Neteyam was impressed. The roof of the cave was high enough for even the tallest of Na'vi to stand at full height without issue, and in the dim light, Neteyam saw that the cave pushed back far into the body of the rock. The ground surrounding the water was smooth, and looking up along the damp cavern walls, there was glowing lichen growing over the rocks, casting a bluish glow throughout the whole space. It was beautiful.
You watched as he pulled himself up from the pool, droplets of water falling from his lean figure. "What are you doing here?" you questioned in a defeated voice. He took a breath, all the amusement from startling you disappearing from his face. "I am sorry for what I said before at dinner," he said honestly, stepping toward you. "I shouldn't have said anything."
You hugged yourself defensively and looked away from him. "You weren't wrong," you muttered quietly. He shook his head with a sigh. "That doesn't mean it was right for me to say," he pointed out. You didn't respond, keeping your eyes fixed on a particular spot on the wall to avoid looking at him.
"I know you want things to go back to how they were," he said gently, "but I do not think that is possible." You closed your eyes at his words, already feeling emotional about what he had said earlier in the evening. "I can't pretend to be fine while you are betrothed to someone else," he continued. "I just— I don't know how to be around you...but I can't seem to stay away from you."
You huffed dejectedly and fought back tears. You were so tired, both physically and emotionally. The friction between the two of you had been wearing you down since he had revealed his feelings for you. It was so difficult for you to go from being as close as you were to now having this tense and strained relationship. You wanted to make things right, but now, it felt impossible.
"So that's it?" you asked quietly. "We just go on with our lives acting like we don't know each other?" He looked down at you sadly without reply. "I don't want to do that," you continued softly. "I still care about you, Neteyam, but when you just ignore me, it feels like you hate me." His eyes softened at your words, and you had to glance away in order to keep your emotions in check. You whispered finally, "I don't know what to do to make it stop."
After a brief silence, Neteyam let out a regretful sigh. To your surprise, he took a step forward and reached out to take your hand in his. "I don't hate you," he muttered quietly. "Not even close." You looked up at his face, his ordinarily amber eyes appearing green in the light of the cave lichen. "You could've fooled me," you mumbled under your breath.
He closed his eyes and squeezed your hand gently. "I don't hate you," he repeated insistently. "I am angry, but not at you." His hand dropped from yours, and you immediately missed his touch. "I'm angry with myself for being so...," he looked away as he searched for the right words. "For not being able to let you go."
You felt an aching in your chest at his words. You had lost track of the hours you stayed up at night wishing that things could be different, that you didn't have to be with Aonung, that you could renounce your title without bringing shame to your family. You felt tears prick at your eyes as you looked at Neteyam's defeated face. The truth was, you hadn't been able to let go of him either.
You shook your head sadly. "Neteyam," you said softly. "Talking about it will only make it harder for both of us." He scoffed quietly at your words. "I think that makes it worse, too," he added. "The fact that you feel the same way, and so we are both here quietly suffering."
You felt somewhat attacked by his words. "You know why I can't," you told him sharply. "You of all people should know what it's like to have to put your duties before yourself." He grimaced. "Of course, I know," he murmured under his breath. "It's all I've ever known. All my life, I have done what is expected of me. I have always played the parts I was given— the son of Olo'eyktan, older brother, warrior, future leader."
His voice was growing more heated as he spoke, and he took a step toward you, drawing even closer. "And I have never complained. I have never once tried to do something or be someone else, and I was fine with it. Even when I wanted different, I never complained." He glanced away for a moment and clenched his jaw. When he looked back at you, you could see the frustration burning in his face. "I just—," he paused, staring at you intensely. "I've never wanted anything as much as I want you."
Your voice felt stuck. Your heart was beating so hard that you were surprised the sound of it wasn't echoing in the cave around you.
Neteyam shook his head and looked down at the floor. "Maybe if you didn't care," he continued quietly, "or even if you hated me, maybe I could bear it. But to know that you...," he trailed off, his hands clenching into fists. "It burns," he said softly. His eyes flashed up to yours, and you could see his face contorted in frustration and longing.
"Doesn't it burn for you?"
Your throat tightened, and for a moment, you couldn't say anything. You clenched your jaw as you fought to stay composed. "Of course it burns," you whispered back, not trusting your voice. "Every day it burns. Every day I wish things were different. I wish—," your voice cracked as you got louder, making you pause.
You shook your head in remorse. "But I can't get my wish. I will never get it. People like you and I don't get what we want. That is the sacrifice demanded of us, for our duty." Neteyam remained still for a beat. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I know," he whispered. "You're right. I'm sorry."
You sighed and ran a frustrated hand over your face. "Don't you just wish it would stop?" You asked quietly. He looked down at you, and his gaze softened. He no longer looked upset, just sad. After a moment, he replied softly, "No." You blinked up at him, surprised by his answer.
"I just wish it could be real," he whispered, his eyes settling on your face intently.
There was something about his answer that made your heart start beating faster. Maybe it was the way he cocked his head at you with his eyes staring at you desirously. Perhaps it was how the glowing reflections of the water around you illuminated his face. It may have been the tone of his voice as he spoke, but whatever it was, it made your mind freeze.
Without another thought or another word, you stepped forward and kissed him.
Neteyam melted into you instantly. He brought his hands around your waist as you slid your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. Your lips broke apart for a second before he eagerly returned for more.
It was everything you wanted. His strong body leaned against yours, and you could feel the muscles in his shoulders under your hands. He pressed against you, and you took a couple of steps backward with blind trust. Without breaking your kiss, one of his hands left your body to catch the wall behind you before your back came to rest against it.
He couldn't seem to get enough of you as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the edge of your lips. You sighed against his mouth, all the tension you had been feeling for so long finally being released. He moved his lips down to your jaw and kissed you all the way down to your neck. You moaned softly as his lips trailed down your sensitive skin. You raised your hand to hold his head as he kissed you when something made him pause.
He pulled back slightly, and you opened your eyes to look at him. You saw that his eyes were fixated on your neck, or more specifically, what rested on your neck. Your hand came up and felt the akula tooth hanging on the necklace Aonung made for you.
Oh no.
You were instantly brought back to reality with a sharp gasp. You pulled your arms away from Neteyam and brought the back of your hand to your lips. This was all wrong. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be doing this.
Neteyam seemed to realize at the same time as you what you had done, and he stepped back with a distressed look. "I'm sorry," he whispered apologetically. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself composed. "No," you replied softly. "It was me, I—," you took a shaky breath, still keeping your eyes shut. "I should not have— I am sorry."
You could still feel the memory of his lips against yours, the warmth of his arms around your body. Even now, you could hear his heavy breathing. You opened your eyes and saw Neteyam's concerned face staring back at you. He looked so worried for you. In his eyes, you could see the longing he felt for you, but he stayed back for your sake.
"I can't do this," you whispered finally. "I thought I could, but I can't." His eyes flashed in pain at your words, but he didn't say anything. You stepped away from the wall, still feeling your heart beat rapidly in your chest.
As you moved away, Neteyam whispered your name softly, making you hesitate. You wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms again, to feel his lips on yours. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I didn't mean to upset you." He shifted anxiously before repeating softly, "I don't know how to stay away from you."
You closed your eyes tightly at his words. "No," you said quietly. "I cannot trust myself around you." You opened your eyes and saw the pain clearly displayed across his face. "Please," he whispered. "Don't go." Your throat tightened, and tears welled in your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said, your voice cracking.
You turned, dove back into the pool, and prayed that Neteyam didn't follow you. Even if he did jump after you, though, you knew you were the faster swimmer, and you moved as quickly as you could away from the edge of the sea wall and back to the village.
That night, you got no sleep. You tossed and turned, the memories of the night replaying over and over again in your head. You couldn't shake the memory of his lips moving against yours, the warmth of his body pressed close to you, and the desperation of Neteyam's touch on your skin. What was most prevalent in your mind was the overwhelming guilt you felt at everything.
How could you face Ronal and Aonung knowing what you had done?
Chapter 5
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How BTS flirt
Saucy disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!
Lol this is gonna be a fun one so buckle up and hold on to your socks
Seokjin
Lol oki
I think there's two types of jinnie flirting. Casual fun flirting and flirting because he's actually intrested
When he is actually intrested in someone and is trying to flirt its kinda slow moving and not very obvious
Its little things like, "your hair looks really nice today"
Things that are complements but he means it in a flirty way
He'd probably get a bit frustrated bc his flirting tactics are too subtle
I think he would also flirt by showing things he's intrested or possibly things that he's gathered
Kinda like a peacock
He wants the person he's flirting with to know that he's cool and show them what he has to offer but doesn't want to be... showy
He wants to maintain some kind of poise
But I think its because he's a little too shy to be up front and honest
But oh man when he's having fun and flirting for the fuck of it his whole goal is get everyone in a 10 mile radius flustered
He enjoys seeing people blush (I think its because he doesn't always take true compliments well and wants other people to feel good about themselves)
Jin
My boi
His tactics might be a little... strange.. at times
It's endearing though
And smooth
I wouldn't be surprised if he has a list of mid 2000's pick up lines on hand as a plan b
Yoongi
Legit before pulling any cards I heard "like a penguin"
I can't
Now to the fucking cards
WHY IS HE SO ROMANTIC??
What a soft man
He's a romantic flirt that doesn't use many words because he doesn't have to
You best believe he has coffee orders memorized, take out orders memorized, favorite drink always on hand
You needed something from the store?
He bought it.
Very much service and gifts because he wants to provide and kinda show his worth
"Here's this rock I saw. I know you like them so I figured I'd polish it for you too"
Lol he's wrapped around that pinky so tight
He's also very considerate and aware that unwanted flirting can be creepy and uncomfy so he's very very conscious of how he goes about things
I think flirting like this is almost... healing to him?
I think he really enjoys having someone to take care of (he definitely wants the same in return)
Yoon doesn't flirt. He'd rather be courting some one
Don't get me wrong though
He can definitely flirt and shit like that but its his secret weapon
He's also very confident when he flirts
He prefers flirting to come with no expectations
If anyone gets courted by min yoongi I want to see your stack of "rocks" (idk it could be bracelet charms or snow globes or postcards but I wouldn't be surprised if its actual rocks either)
Hoseok
Oki if you don't want to read some not pg then come back when I say it's safe lol
Hobi you horny mother fucker
Flirting is 100% foreplay
I CAN'T
Kissing is definitely in his flirting book
He flirts and establishes his dominance early on (hobi is a dom fight me)
Very confident in his flirting
LUSTY FUCKER
I get vibes that hobi would 100% fuck on the first date
(Kinky mf)
Omg hobi what a fucking tease too Jesus
Blah blah blah his flirting is foreplay bc he's horny and really wants to fuck.
Istg hobi just wait for a designated 18+ reading
Oki it's safe now
On the off chance that hobi isnt using his ridiculous flirting skills as foreplay
He is still very confident
And slow paced
He's trying to win the war not the battle
He is very push-pull when he flirts
It's with good intentions though
He's just really good with people and sweet talking
Very touchy
Flirting can also be a way for him to sus people out and decide if they are cool or nah
Flirting with hobi can lead to:
A. New best friend
B. Increadibly one night stand
C. The love of your fucking lifeb
D. A failed vibe check
Lowkey hobi would be kinda like wolf... very... driven?
Namjoon
A lot of compliments and just general good vibes
Lots of personal questions
"I bet you're really good at that. You should let me see sometime."
Definitely uses his smile
A lot
Very much the type to keep eye contact and be very attentive to the answers that are given to his questions
Its a wee bit methodical
But not in a weird way
He just wants to know where to go
Lots of emotional intelligence
Probs buys flowers or something cute
Very much reassuring and probably would be most flirty over drinks of some kind (like coffee or fancy wine)
Doesn't always flirt for the sake of romance but its pretty obvious when he is
He's just perfect
He gives complements often just in general and I think he absolutely knows how to use his charms
Very smooth
So so so so so witty
Definitely can get some nice giggles going
The way he flirts is honestly entrancing
We all know he is a fantastic talker
Probably uses a lot of beautiful language
Jimin
Very flirty
Flirty flirty
Also a little flexing involved!!
He'd be dressed to the 9's and very obvious
I definitely see him making everything about the other person
Very much peak libra behavior
He'd definitely feel flirty when he's feeling himself?
Flirting is almost like a first defense
Its easier to control the situation when he's flirting and its something that he loves to do
There's a lot of intelligence here with chim chim
He gets bored easily so flirting with him would be something engaging and intellectual as much as it is fun and laid back
Fancy fucking dinners
Flirty boi would like to have his match
Flirting is a competitive (fun) sport
He'd be a bit more toned down and less flashy if its someone he's actually trying to romance
Very fun and very exciting
Taehyung
Sexc
Think mysterious and cool as fuck
That's his flirting style
Very much must pass his vibe check
Be careful its a test
The way he flirts is by not saying anything about himself
He'd drop bits here and there but he has to make sure that you're worthy tbh
If someone makes it past the vibe check this is when the real flirting begins
He'd be very attentive and almost dedicated?
Like he sees flirting as a stepping stone
This is an investment and flirting would be tailored to the person he's flirting with
He's very intuitive and knows what people need
Very very very delacate
Also he might seem a bit intense when he flirts but its not necessarily a bad thing
Homie be regal at first but once he's comfy and is sure that they're compatible then he'd be way more inviting and open and giggly
Oh god he'd be the giggliest flirt on the whole planet
Also very considerate of boundries
Jungkook
Lol
He'd only really be comfy flirting if there isn't anyone else around
Very blushy
Kinda soft ngl?
It's cute soft and shy but he also has very strong boundaries
Flirting is something that he's not great at?
But he is very very very good at learning so the more he flirts the better he gets
This is an oddly personal journey?
He has to get over some stuff to get rid of some possible anxiety
He's also a little unconventional?
He has his own way of flirting and it'd be very adorable
Things like
"You're hair would be really cool if it was blue. I like it now too. So you should do whatever you like with your hair. Because its yours. And its nice. Yeah"
Its so CUTE
He'd overthink a lot too
What do I say? How do I act?
He'd also maybe throw in a cheeky back touch or two every so often
Shoulder touching too
Its very much like best friend flirting but koo means it as actual flirting
Honestly, if someone notices that koo is flirting with them it'd be best to just take the wheel and take the stress away
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