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polygamyff · 5 years

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19.

Things change with me so fast, like shit come out of nowhere and now I’m going to New York. I think I can make the scan but Robyn hasn’t once spoken to me, I am being calm about this because honestly Leon has been telling me all. She hasn’t be doing much but work and has been staying at her parents, she is hard headed and it’s killing me. It’s been a week, I am on this jet going to New York, the joys of New York. My dad is legit wanting me to do this interview, my dad is now meeting the Saudi Prince so I don’t need too, the blessing. My sister is on the jet with me, now I can see Malik and slap the back of his head. I’ve got such a nice tan and honestly, Nalah is bad for me. She has got me a fan base on social media, she done nothing but hype me up about trying these websites, I’ll pass on that, I would get my ass in trouble. I am so nervous about this interview, they going to rip my ass to shreds but my dad said everything is dealt with “Honestly, you got these girls saying in my comments, can they be your side bitch? These girls do not care about you being married, not going to lie. You already had girls at you, I just didn’t say anything. Imagine after the interview. Pussy galore” I groaned out “you know who’s pussy I want, quit playing” sitting back in the seat “she ain’t called you once, she mad, mad with you. But I understand and I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, she is a very beautiful girl and she is with you, poor that” kissing my teeth, she ain’t funny.

“So, you need to tell me Robyn’ place. I’m just going to see her, look she is having my niece and that’s our blood. I am doing you a favor here, we can go shopping and I will just explain to her. I mean look at this turn around, you’re going New York now, shit switches up quick. If you really can’t make it then I will step in for the scan. I think me and Robyn need to have some girly talk, about you of course but I’ll hype you up Maurice. She needs to be let into the family a little more, you know?” Nodding my head “can’t believe I’m letting you do this, I swear you better not make her hate me even more. Please buy her something, for me ok? I miss her so much and I’m jealous you are getting to see Robyn. Make sure you say hi to Bonita, the mini one” my sister gave me the stankest look ever “I don’t know what the hell you speaking about, I am just helping you out. She needs to be involved more, slowly bring her into the Davenport lifestyle and I’m the best person to show it” I might regret letting my sister do this but I am so sad, Robyn hasn’t text me or call me and then I won’t do it either “why are you always sad? Stop it, I feel like she needs to be just shown what you do, how you are. I promise I won’t be stupid” I will murder my sister, I really will.

I am leaving my sister to Robyn, she actually offered so who am I to decline such help. Robyn may come to her senses with everything which I am hoping happens, I can only pray that it happens. Malik is about to get a slap from me, I don’t know what he is doing here with the bullshit assistant issue. I told him to get a male and he hasn’t done it but he’s not wrong, women make a good assistant because they do get shit done. Walking up the steps to my hotel in New York “sir” the doorman opened the door for me “morning” yesterday I was just in Dubai, shit changes up for me so quick and now I’m here in New York. It’s always nice to see a busy hotel, this is what I like to see. Busy hotel means money, waving at the receptionist. Her old ass been working here since I was a child, one of the best “Malik? Is he in my office?” I asked her “yes, he’s interviewing someone” I had to laugh, he isn’t doing shit. That nigga done nothing I have told him too and I am still without an assistant. Walking down hall, using my office and shit like he owns the place just because I don’t come here anymore don’t mean I won’t make surprise visits. Knocking on the door before opening, Malik stared at me all wide eyed “sorry about this” who does he think he is, stepping inside “oh wow” looking at the female sat, she got her legs on show, some shirt open too “hi, I’m Maurice” holding my hand out to her “oh wow, hi” she said wow for the second time, shaking her hand “so proceed Malik, pretend I’m not here” I sat down on the spare seat next to the female.

I think I have made everything very awkward, Malik doesn’t know what to say and the girl keeps on messing up on her words which I find hilarious “so Isabella right?” I interrupted the conversation “do you think you will be able to handle my demands? For me to tell you what to do even at nights? Are you able to not fancy me? To keep your hands to yourself because you know, I am married” her face turned bright red “uhm yes, I am not here for anything else. I am always available” Nodding my head “you’re pretty” She is nice, she blushed looking away. Looking over at Malik he is hating me “so anyways, thank you for coming Isabella, that will be all” Malik cut it short, getting up from my seat “nice to meet you Isabella, Malik will be in contact” Shaking her hand, she stared at me in awe and it was crazy, I had her my hand back from her “yeah nice meeting you” Malik said all annoyed, I sat back in the seat. Malik looked at me all annoyed, he put a finger up at me as the door closed “nigga, you a flirt. You got a wife, girlfriend and now you looking for another one?” I snorted laughing “that is just me nigga, step ya game up. I ain’t looking for another girl. Trust me, I have enough on my plate with Robyn” acting like I want another female to drive me crazy, I’m good “you too in love anyways, why are you here” slouching down in the chair “I got a interview here, come to see you. Look at you doing fuck all, I keep on telling you I want a male. You keep bringing pretty women, stop” Malik chuckled “but it’s best that way, males are boring” he needs to get his act together quick.

Malik thinking he is boss, he is funny “so what have you exactly got for me? Have you done anything? Not even an assistant?” This is why I like him being close in regards to all this shit “erm, a few females?” Shaking my head at Malik “good one bro” Malik annoys my life, rubbing my eyes “so you just ignored what I said? Is that it? Please, listen to me. Isabella is a no, please” Malik finds it funny “you just don’t know how to stop flirting, that is you issue” he pointed “I am just that but my heart is with Robyn, I love her and that is it” Malik cooed out “I get that, ok. I will do better” the intercom in my office went off, Malik got ever so scared “Maurice, oh wait. He is walking in” I frowned “boys” I jumped at my dad’ voice, looking behind me. I closed my eyes sighing out seeing Naomi, turning my back rubbing my face “my son” feeling my dad hit my back “hey dad” lifting my head up “I made a quick stop before London, I am sad you didn’t come to Texas though. You not heard?” shaking my head “what is it?” did I do something now “Kellen is doing well, I just though you would like to know he is back in Texas with his wife. Speaking of wife, here is yours” this is so awkward “that is great dad” I smiled at him, I am so annoyed.

My dad has come because I didn’t know I am having the interview today, like now I mean what the hell. Walking behind my dad, Noami behind me. I don’t want this, he is wanting to show we are a unit, a family and I just want to hide. Seeing this big guy “T, my son. Maurice T” who the fuck is this, Mr fucking T “hi” my dad is crazy “it’s a little hectic out there, let’s go to the studio” this is a joke “I am not stepping out, nope not doing it. She can go, why is there paparazzi out there dad? What are you doing? This is not me! The fuck?” I shouted in the middle of the lobby “just walk” this is bullshit and he knows it.

I have been so unwell recently, I had to go off work sick but it doesn’t really affect my sick days because I am pregnant. Pulling the blanket up a little more over me “I am so glad you’re actually back with me, it’s been lonely making food for one person. It was horrible” Leon placed my water on the table “well I am back but ill, I think my mom had enough of me complaining about life” resting my head “well I will look after you friend” Leon touched my forehead “stop it” I chuckled, a knock at the door “who is that? You inviting niggas while I been gone?” I questioned Leon, I just want to watch TV and not be bugged about shit “it was just one guy, he was cute. He was bisexual and he saw your picture because I have a picture of me and you and he was like I would have sex with her, and I was like nigga she is taken and pregnant, I am not having that shit” Leon dragged open the door “you’re actually stupid Leon” I laughed to myself “I will watch it, don’t worry” my eyes bulged out seeing Nalah, my mouth fell open “well hello to you too” she just walked in and Leon looks confused “yes ok, just calm down” she disconnected the call “oh hi Robyn, hope you don’t mind. I came to see you, are you ok?” I am just staring at the fact Maurice’ sister is in my apartment “erm fine” I stuttered a little “can you just change the channel to CNBC, Maurice is going to be on there” Nalah made herself comfortable.

I am trying to get my head wrapped on the fact Nalah is in my apartment and now this “now we have an exclusive interview, Davenport Hotels, once was a hotel in Texas ended up being a popular place for people to go too. They now have just over a thousand hotels around America and Europe, their portfolio is impeccable, the Davenport family name has been a name that took the hotel business by storm, then they young CEO took over, his father well known for opening the tallest hotel building in New York. Which took everything by storm, now his son Maurice Davenport has stepped in” the camera moved “welcome to the studio” my heart melted, look at him. His smile, my baby. I feel emotional now “thank you” look at his overbite gleaming “he still has his blonde hair” I said smiling “he cute, isn’t he!?” Leon spat, I have missed his face so much and he has a tan look at him “he’s such a goof ball” Nalah said “it’s a pleasure to meet you, I have heard of you I mean we all have been and heard of Davenport hotel. To meet the man himself, the man to build a different style because there was a point where it was touch and go?” that interviewer is smiling too much at Maurice “uh yes, before I was given the role. Before my dad said to me, look son. Here are the hotels, do you. It was declining, we had to change it. Straight away, I did that. Shares went up” that bitch needs to stop staring mad hard “you look so disgusted, look at you!” Leon said laughing, I can’t help it because she is staring at my man.

He is doing so well in this interview, I am proud “so what is next for you? The next steps for Davenport Hotels” she asked “we are opening new hotels next year, you will be looking at a new hotel everyday, we are branding with other hotels, I can’t say who with but it will knock any competition. When I mean branding, I mean our name will be on it. We are taking over what we can. Just before the New Year, Dubai. Our first hotel there. We will still have that choice for customer, we don’t just cater to wealth. Customers like that we cater to every need” I really don’t like her, what the fuck is her name now “that sounds promising, am I going to see you on the top ten on Forbes next?” Maurice laughed “possibly, I just take it as it comes” he shrugged “well I do enjoy the fact I always get free wifi, don’t change that” she pointed “would I ever? That is something I would keep” Maurice is doing a fake white laugh, it’s ugly “he is ugly for that laugh” I said “he really is you know” Nalah agreed “what do you want to be known as, what do you think your legacy will be? Is it just hotels or do you want to broaden that?” he does actually look so sexy “real estates, there is a few in New Jersey and some in Texas” he is doing too much, this is why he is busy “that is something you are doing with your wife, she is heir to one of the biggest real estates known to America. Both of you together, that could create something big. You have both been together for a long time now, well five years” Maurice looks so uncomfortable “well I am trying to do this with Davenport, I am trying to be independent with this. When you married, it’s just something on paper” Nalah gasped “but yeah, it’s something she does help me with. We do help each other” all of a sudden I got bored.

“Before that interview he was calling me about Naomi being there but anyways, anyone want a shopping spree. I have Maurice’ card” Leon and I just looked at each other “I am supposed to be ill from work, well I am” I mumbled looking over at her, she is so beautiful. So fresh skinned, stress free and always full of diamonds, she is spoilt “you really got his card?” Leon asked “oh yes I do, I bullied him for it. Treats on me” Leon shrieked out “oh my god, you my favourite, wait. Can I come?” he cheering without knowing “sure, a friend of Robyn’ why not” Leon clapped “let’s go shopping” Leon ran off to his room, a lot is happening right now “I think I should stay here” this is weird “what do you do?” Nalah asked “residency, well I am near my next stage of being a surgeon” Nalah stared at me all wide eyed “oh wow, that is amazing. How did my stupid brother get you, wow. That is so good. But I honestly want you to come, I came here for you” I look terrible “I am not well” making up excuses here “love sick?” Nalah openly said and I couldn’t help but laugh “you’re funny, how come you’re here? I fully expected Maurice, is he in New York?” Nalah nodded her head “it’s weird, like it can change so quick. We was in Dubai yesterday and now I am here. I came because I want to get to know the woman that has made my brother look like a lost puppy in Dubai, and the woman that is going to be the mother to my niece. It’s time you know us more and for me to get to know you” this sounds like a lot of talking, I didn’t expect this at all and I am in shock.

#chrianna #chrianna ff #fanfic #fanfiction

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kazosa · 7 years

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Secrets - SoA: Chapter 13

Summary: Reader has lived in a life full of secrets. When her father dies unexpectedly and sends her on a trip all over the country, she finds out just how much like her father she really is. The end of her trip brings her to Charming, CA where she finally gets some big pieces of her family puzzle put back in place and form new relationships with the people there. Chapter 13: The hearing. Warnings: language A/N: If it wasn’t clear before, this takes place after the events of the final episode, SPOILERS! Italics are for Chibs and his inner thoughts. Bold is for the reader’s inner thoughts. Word Count: 2151 Tags: @telford-ortiz-teller @sam-samcro @tstieff @yourcroweater @kacilove26 @hiddlelove @evilsorceress @reallynigga21 @suz-123 @between-shades-of-winchester @caitcrook @i-was-made-of-nutella @charlottecl @gunsnrosesislife @yoonjigu @mkindoll2016 @confidencerush @jade770 (hope I didn’t miss anyone, if I did, please let me know!)

Chibs sat down at a desk in the corner that they used for the clubhouse. He hated that they even needed one, but more often than not, it seemed like it came in handy. They’d gotten a computer that “fell off a truck” a while back when the Sons were running protection for Montez. It was state of the art and loaded full of porn. Chibs shook his head as he closed all of the windows and cleared the cache and browser history the way Juice had taught him years ago. The guys looked at some weird shit. He made a mental note to talk to Tig and Happy about it.

Tig and Happy had left. Tig had to get Venus and Happy needed to get to his mom’s house for dinner or she would “string me up and let the animals get me.” He’d almost laughed at the idea, but he knew better. Happy didn’t get his… talent from a stranger. A few moments later, Chuckie came up with a plate with a cheeseburger and fries on it.

“Here ya go boss,” was all he said.

Chibs didn’t notice the look of concern on his friend’s face.

“Thanks, Chuck,” he muttered as he opened a search engine website.

Chuck left quietly and Chibs got about his business. He typed in the lass’s name and pressed enter. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but he hadn’t thought there would be so much. He added “1997” after her name and it brought up pictures and an article about the crash.

“…at one point having reached speeds over 120 mph. The chase eventually slowed and the driver lost control on the curve of North Union Street when the car hit a gravel patch. Local doctors say…” He clicked on the pictures of what used to be a car.

The next article was about how her ex-boyfriend stalked her and beat her to a pulp after she left him. She’d managed to call the MPs before passing out. Her ex-boyfriend had been caught as he was getting back to his place, eventually landing in prison for aggravated assault.

He was about to search for “engagement announcement” when Chuckie came back. Chibs just thought he was there to collect the dishes. He’d already gathered the ketchup cup and napkin for him.

“Thanks, Chuckie, delicious as always,” he handed the plate to him.

Chuckie took the plate but was fidgeting more than usual.

“Boss?” he asked tentatively.

“What is it, Chuck?”

“There’s an executive-type guy downstairs asking for you,” he sputtered.

“Shit,” he’d lost track of time. “Did you get him some food?”

Chuck shook his head, “Said he ate on the jet.”

“The jet?” he said to himself. “Was there a tiny hell-cat of a woman with him?” If Debbie was there, he needed to prepare himself for the verbal onslaught.

“Just a guy,” Chuckie said.

“Thanks, Chuck, be right down,” he told him.

The internet search would have to wait. He closed all of the windows and shut down the computer to follow Chuckie downstairs.

When you woke, you had no idea what the time was, but you figured it was early, the jailhouse was still quiet. You hadn’t slept very well, it was too quiet and too empty. You missed Chibs. You missed the way he wrapped himself around you and held you close.

He’d moved into your heart so quickly, it was hard to believe what you were feeling was real. When you were with him, you were home. Waking up without him next to you made you feel very lonely. You tried to reason with yourself.

“Stop it. It’s only been a few days, it’s just infatuation…or lust,” you told yourself. “Then why do I miss him and want to see him?” “Cuz you’re stupid and are acting like a teenager.” “I don’t think I am though, not really. He treats me better than anyone ever has, including Tom. I can be truly me when I am with him and he doesn’t care about all of the bullshit I’ve done.” You sighed, “Just try to enjoy it, however long it lasts.”

You quit berating yourself when the cellroom lights were flicked on and the sound of a commotion came from outside the room.

“You will NOT keep me from my client!” the voice said.

You knew Jack would have to call a lawyer. He could have done it, but he wasn’t licensed in California. The familiar staccato was getting closer. You shot up off the cot, almost standing at attention, waiting. It only took a few more moments for the clicking shoes and the person wearing them to be standing in front of you. Five feet, four inches of holy terror.

“This is a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into,” she said.

“Hi Mom,” you said.

You listened as patiently as you could while your mother went on and on about how you were just like your father, always getting into trouble (“But at least HE grew out of it!”) and so on and so forth. Over the years, you’d gotten good at making it look like you were listening while your mind went to another place. You were wondering why your father worshiped the ground she walked on.

“Kiddo, your mom cares, a lot. Maybe too much. She’s hard on you because she cares. She’s been through a lot,” he’d told you. “Just try to remember that when she’s laying into you.”

He’d never told you to quit doing the things that drove her up the wall.

“What the hell are you smirking at?!” your mother demanded. “Were you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, I know. This is exactly what you warned me about. I’m more than old enough to make my own decisions. If I want to “ruin” my life, that’s up to me,” you told her.

“What did you do to get up this cop’s ass?” she asked you point blank, switching to lawyer mode.

You rolled your eyes, “She is a vindictive bitch that thinks she belongs with Filip.”

“Chibs? Are you shitting me? You can’t just get in with some dumb prospect, you gotta go for the fucking President of the club,” she was pacing now.

She either hadn’t talked to Filip yet, or she had and he hadn’t told her that you and he were together. Your mind was spinning, putting pieces together. When you were a kid, once a month, she’d be gone for a long weekend and you were always told it was for “girls’ weekends.”

“Alright,” she said with a huff, “tell me everything you know.”

“Did you already talk to Chibs?” you asked.

She looked very severe in her suit. It was tailored just for her. Her steel gray hair was pulled back in a tight bun, her pearl earrings hanging from her ears, her standard matching pearl necklace in place. Thankfully, she’d never worked for your dad’s business and you hadn’t had to deal with her on a daily basis. Jack and his associates usually took care of the business’ legal matters. Debra was a criminal prosecutor. Everything about her screamed, “I will fuck up your life,” and she usually did in one way or another. She was small but mighty and scary as all hell. Gemma had said once that she was one of the three people that scared her.

“I want to hear your side. I’ve made notes already and have a few ideas to get this bullshit dropped. Favors were called in to get this heard so quickly,” she said. “I want to make sure there are no… surprises and get this mess behind us.”

You told her what you knew, what you had speculated, and she took notes as you spoke. She asked you a few questions for clarification purposes and to elaborate, but you got the feeling like she already knew what you were going to say, Chibs had probably told her the same thing. You couldn’t imagine what she thought you might say, because you couldn’t remember when you had been so honest. The last 5 days had been lily-white for you, no speeding, no scoping out cars, and no looking at the sports pages.

“Mrs. (Y|L|N), you need to leave now. It’s time to transfer the prisoner,” a deputy said from the entry.

Your mother left with an irritated look on her face, but that was normal for her.

Soon, you were on your way to the courthouse. The deputy pulled the squad car into a secured garage and escorted you up to the courtroom your hearing was set for. As you rounded the corner to the courtroom, your mom was already there and she was pointing her finger up in Filip’s face, Tig and Happy were avoiding looking at the interaction. The deputy was holding the space between your cuffs, pulling you along.

It made you more than a little happy to see them all there. The deputy brought you to where your mother was standing and Chibs immediately pulled you into an embrace. He briefly let you go so you could lift your shackled hands above your head so he could slip under.

“Don’ worry, luv, everything is goin ta be jus’ fine,” he whispered in your ear.

You didn’t even have time to ask him what he meant. A bailiff had stuck her head out of the courtroom.

“The judge is ready to get going,” she said.

Next thing you know, you’re uncuffed and standing at a table in the courtroom, Jarry at the other table across the aisle. Chibs and the boys were behind you. Surprisingly, they weren’t being rowdy, yet. You were in a daze and couldn’t hardly think for yourself. A cold trickle of sweat ran down your spine and your vision was wobbly. You were in robot mode and your mom was the remote control. Of all of the things you’d stolen, you’d only been in a courtroom one time prior and you were terrified.

You vaguely registered your mother saying, “Motion to dismiss. Witnesses all say the plaintiff instigated the fight, was trespassing, stalking and numerous other offenses. My client won’t press charges if the plaintiff drops her charge.”

The judge sighed heavily and that was the first time that you really looked at him. He seemed familiar, for some reason, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on where it was you’d seen him before.

“Miss Jarry, get up here,” he ordered.

You couldn’t hear what the judge was saying to her, whatever it was, she didn’t like it one bit. You could see her skin turning red and moving up the back of her neck. She gave the judge a curt nod, he said one or two more comments to Jarry and you watched her with wide eyes as she walked back to her spot at the table. She looked like she could bite a nail in two.

“Plaintiff has agreed to drop charges and stay the hell away from the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club,” he said. “Charges dropped, case dismissed.” The judge banged the gavel. The boys were whoopin’ and hollering, clapping Chibs on the shoulder.

Though you didn’t have on your glasses, you could have sworn that the judge low-key winked at you. Turning around you were met with Chibs’ beaming face, his cute dimples showing.

“Did he just…”

“I’ll tell ye about it later, lass. For now, let’s get the hell out of here,” he suggested.

You were all for that. If you ever saw the inside of a courtroom again, it would be too soon.

Back at Scoops, your mother and Jack were sitting at a table, eating the burgers and fries that Chuckie had made them, and was working like crazy to produce for everyone that was coming back from the courthouse. The silent ride back was frigid, to say the least. Your mom was a good lawyer, you knew that much, but jesus, you never thought you’d need her to be yours.

Too riled up to eat, you were standing at the counter with Chibs. Looking over Chibs’ shoulder at her, you could tell by the set of her jaw that she was not happy about being there. Turning back to the counter, Chibs was watching you.

“Ye alrigh’, lass?” he looked concerned.

“I’m just worried what’s going to happen next. I know she’s not done with me today,” you confided.

“Yer tougher than ye think,” he pulled you close and kissed your forehead.

“Filip Telford!” your mother called, catching both of your attentions.

You both turned toward her.

“Debbie (Y|L|N),” he retorted.

“I need to speak with you,” she pointed her bony finger at the open space across from her.

Chibs put his hand on the small of your back and was going to lead you over to the table.

“Just you, Filip,” she glowered.

“Shit.”

#secrets #sons of anarchy fan fiction #reader insert #chibs x reader #chibs telford #Chuckie marstein #althea jarry #reader's mother #fan fic #kazosa

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networkingdefinition · 5 years

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Alligators Quotes

Official Website: Alligators Quotes

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And if he decides to drop the swamp and the alligator, I will drop the swamp and the alligator. – Newt Gingrich • Don’t taunt the alligator until after you’ve crossed the creek. – Dan Rather • Down in Louisiana where the alligators grow so mean, there lived a girl that I swear to the world made the alligators look tame. – Tony Joe White • Everything on Saturday morning [cartoons] moves alike that’s one of the reasons it’s not animation. The drawings are different, but everybody acts the same way, their feet move the same way, and everybody runs the same way. It doesn’t matter whether it’s an alligator or a man or a baby or anything, they all move the same. – Chuck Jones • Far off in the red mangroves an alligator has heaved himself onto a hummock of grass and lies there, studying his poems. – Mary Oliver • Feed the alligators and you get bigger alligators. – Helen Gurley Brown • First time I saw an alligator gar I damn near threw up. They ain’t natural anything get that big. It’s ten feet long and three feet at the girth. Not one of God’s creations like you and meSome say they ain’t afraid of alligator gar fish. Bullshit. You look at that thing. It’s big and mean. Swallow both of us. Them people say they ain’t afraid tellin’ lies. – Bukka White • I dislike the word ’emerging artist.’ Emerging connotes to me an alligator coming up from the water. I consider all artists to be artists, not rising, emerging, amateur, beginning, but the real thing. – Jack White • I look in music magazines now and see things on Luther Allison, and my name’s getting out there more, thanks to all the good people at Alligator Records and at my management company. – Luther Allison • I love The Inn at Palmetto Bluff, an Auberge Property in Bluffton, South Carolina. Its a spectacular corner of the world, with massive old trees lined with Spanish moss, and alligators swimming in the river. – Gail Simmons • I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. – Karen Russell • I’m also fascinated by the difference between terror and fear. Fear says, “Do not actually put your hand in the alligator,” while terror says, “Avoid Florida entirely because alligators exist. – Mira Grant • I’ve tried that. I’ve tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me giggle. What I’ve found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany’s. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits, and that lovely smell of silver and alligator wallets. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany’s, then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name. – Truman Capote • I’ve wrestled with alligators, I’ve tussled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning And throw thunder in jail. You know I’m bad. just last week, I murdered a rock, Injured a stone, Hospitalized a brick. I’m so mean, I make medicine sick. – Muhammad Ali • If all I can say is I’m not in this swamp, I’m not in this swamp then there is not a rope in front of me and there is not an alligator behind me and there is not a girl sitting at the edge eating a hot dog and if I believe that, then dying would be the only answer because then Death couldn’t come and say Peachy to me anymore and after all she has a brother who believes in hope. – Tori Amos • If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, “Well this isn’t too bad, I don’t have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I’m left-handed or right-handed,” but most of us would say something more along the lines of, “Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!” – Daniel Handler • If five years from now we solve the access problem, but what we’re hearing is all encrypted, I’ll probably, if I’m still here, be talking about that in a very different way: the objective is the same. The objective is for us to get those conversations whether they’re by an alligator clip or ones and zeros. Whoever they are, whatever they are, I need them. – Louis J. Freeh • If I could rest anywhere, it would be in Arkansas, where the men are of the real half-horse, half-alligator breed such as grows nowhere else on the face of the universal earth. – Davy Crockett • IGNORANCE I didn’t know love would make me this crazy, with my eyes like the river Ceyhun carrying me in its rapids out to sea,where every bit of shattered boat sinks to the bottom. An alligator lifts its head and swallows the ocean, then the ocean floor becomes a desert covering the alligator in sand drifts. Changes do happen. I do not know how, or what remains of what has disappeared into the absolute. I hear so many stories and explanations, but I keep quiet, because I don’t know anything, and because something I swallowed in the ocean has made me completely content with ignorance. – Rumi • Im Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. – LeAnn Rimes • I’m that same David Crockett, fresh from the backwoods, half-horse, half-alligator, a little touched with the snapping turtle; can wade the Mississippi, leap the Ohio, ride upon a streak of lightning, and slip without a scratch down a honey locust [tree]. – Davy Crockett • It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them. – George Foreman • It makes my skin crawl to think about the violent ways snakes, lizards, alligators and other exotic creatures are raised and killed for boots, bags and belts. – Kelly Brook • It took me the bulk of my twenties to write one book about a family of alligator wrestlers. Whereas somebody like Steve Martin is releasing his latest banjo symphony, having just completed another movie and acclaimed, best-selling novel. – Karen Russell • It’s so hard for me to sit back here in this studio, looking at a guy out here, hollering my name!—When last year I spent more money, on spilled liquor, in bars from one side of this world to the other, than you made! You’re talking to the Rolex wearing, diamond ring wearing, kiss stealing, whoa! wheelin dealin’, limosuine riding, jet flying son of a gun and I’m having a hard time holding these alligators down! – Ric Flair • It’s hard, when you’re up to your armpits in alligators, to remember you came here to drain the swamp. – Ronald Reagan • It’s the chauffeur’s outfit from hell, right down to the alligator shoes. I was wearing these alligator shoes and this very interesting and haunting chauffeur’s outfit, but what really did it for me was the hat. And then, when I eventually get my eye taken out, the gold eye really brought it home for me. – Dennis Haysbert • It’s what you’d expect out of Baton Rouge: people tailgating with shrimp étouffée, everything from alligators roasting on a barbecue to dishes that you would get in the French Quarter. These people are serious and they are legit and they’re ready to go. – Erin Andrews • I’ve just done a movie – Albino Alligator – with Viggo Mortensen, who’s an actor I idolize. He influenced me in a way that has helped me move toward getting lead parts instead of supporting parts, merely through his presence. So now I tell everyone, as a joke, that I’m entering my Viggo Mortensen phase. – Skeet Ulrich • Just take them rascals [rapists, killers, child abusers] out in the swamp / Put ’em on their knees and tie ’em to a stump / Let the rattlers and the bugs and the alligators do the rest. – Charlie Daniels • Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. – Chuck Palahniuk • My father being an outdoors person, he used to take us on quite a few adventures thorugh the wild areas down there, introducing us to alligators and rattlesnakes and all the trees and plants. – Jim Fowler • My mom was beautiful; she was supposed to be the original Jane in the original Tarzan movie. They asked her to put her foot in the water and there was an alligator in there, and she wouldn’t put her foot in the water. – Dr. John • My number one rule is to keep that camera rolling. Even if it’s shaky or slightly out of focus, I don’t give a rip. Even if a big old alligator is chewing me up I want to go down and go, ‘Crikey!’ just before I die. That would be the ultimate for me. – Steve Irwin • Nobody in the city of Los Angeles knows how to catch an alligator, … We have no experience in recreation and parks, the zoo or animal control. – Janice Hahn • Not much is known about alligators. They don’t train well. And they’re unwieldy and rowdy to work with in laboratories. – Diane Ackerman • On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag. – Bob Hope • Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it. – Buddy Hackett • People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience. – Doug Stanhope • Places like Hilton Head, with water adjacency and nice climates, are in high demand, and land values are insane. In the case of Hilton Head, which was developed in 1970 on what had been a mosquito- and alligator-infested swampy barrier island, land value has leaped from nearly zero to now unaffordable. – Susan Orlean • Really, it was difficult to determine which I had most reason to fear—dogs, alligators or men! – Solomon Northup • Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman’s bottom? That’s right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman. – Homer • Remodeling defies the principles of modern commerce. You shell out great sums of money to people over whom you have no authority or power, yet these same people are constantly insinuating that you’re cheap. (It reminded me of medicine, another area where you shell out great sums of money to people over whom you have no authority or power, who make you feel guilty for questioning a bill.) Construction workers are the blue-collar version of the snooty salespeople at Gucci who make $8 an hour but look down on you if you balk at a $400 alligator wallet. – Margo Kaufman • Sanford is a little redneck town north of Orlando. It’s right off Lake Jessup.Lake Jessup is the most alligator infested lake in the United States and I live literally 5/10ths of a mile north of that lake right off the swamp down here. I’ve lived here since ’94. When I left Nebraska my dad got a job at a private Christian school in West Palm Beach. People will say “You’re not really a country boy. You’re from Palm Beach, Florida.” Well, I moved to West Palm Beach, FL which is a far cry from Palm Beach, FL. There’s a reason it’s called West Palm Beach. – Larry the Cable Guy • See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. – Bill Haley • She gazed toward the marsh that grew thicker, deeper, greener with approaching summer. Mosquitoes whined in there, breeding in the dark water. Alligators slid through it, silent death. It was a place where snakes could slither and bogs could suck the shoe right off your foot. And it was a place, she thought, that went bright and beautiful with the twinkling of fireflies, where wildflowers thrived in the shade and the stingy light. Where an eagle could soar like a king. There was no beauty without risk. No life without it. – Nora Roberts • Skins tanned to the consistency of well-traveled alligator suitcases. – Russell Baker • So he left the lagoon and entered the jungle again, within a few days was completely lost, following the lagoons southward through the increasing rain and heat, attacked by alligators and giant bats, a second Adam searching for the forgotten paradises of the reborn Sun. – J. G. Ballard • That dreadful alligator attack in Orlando would never have happened if Disney had put up real warning signs, like other Florida resorts do. But wild alligators don’t fit the Disney image, so they were no proper warnings, and a child died for no reason. – Carl Hiaasen • The government competes in the private sector the way an alligator competes with a duck. – Mike Pence • The Marquis sighed. “I thought it was just a legend,” he said. “Like the alligators in the sewers of New York City.” Old Bailey nodded, sagely: “What, the big white buggers? They’re down there. I had a friend lost a head to one of them.” A moment of silence. Old Naeiley handed the statue back to the Marquis. Then he raised his hand, and snapped it, like a crocodile hand, at the Carabas. “It was OK,” gurned Old Bailey with a grin that was most terrible to behold. “He had another. – Neil Gaiman • The sensation of writing a book is the sensation of spinning, blinded by love and daring. It is the sensation of a stunt pilot’s turning barrel rolls, or an inchworm’s blind rearing from a stem in search of a route. At its worst, it feels like alligator wrestling, at the level of the sentence. – Annie Dillard • There’s a lot of time sitting in movies, so you can put alligators in people’s trailers in your spare time. So it [making a film] moves slower, which in some ways is great, because you can live with a scene and invest in it a lot. And in some ways it’s hard, because sometimes you can start to lose your energy a little bit, but both are fun. – Mary-Louise Parker • They will do more whether we do what we’re doing or whether we don’t do what we’re doing. And the idea that you could appease them [terrorists] by stopping doing what we’re doing or some implication that by doing what we’re doing we’re inciting them to attack us is just utter nonsense. It’s just – it’s kind of like feeding an alligator, hoping it eats you last. – Donald Rumsfeld • Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody! – Will Cuppy • Turn the goddam music up! My heart feels like an alligator! – Hunter S. Thompson • Unoka went into an inner room and soon returned with a small wooden disc containing a kola nut, some alligator pepper and a lump of white chalk. “I have kola,” he announced when he sat down, and passed the disc over to his guest. “Thank you. He who brings kola brings life. But I think you ought to break it,” replied Okoye passing back the disc. “No, it is for you, I think,” and they argued like this for a few moments before Unoka accepted the honor of breaking the kola. Okoye, meanwhile, took the lump of chalk, drew some lines on the floor, and then painted his big toe. – Chinua Achebe • Well, Im wrestling alligators. – Claire McCaskill • What is a turducken? An exclusive culinary creation available by special order from some little Cajun town down south. Entirely deboned, a turducken consists of a turkey, stuffed with duck, stuffed with a chicken, like an edible Russian nesting doll. Some were stuffed with alligator, crap, shrimp; my favorite was the traditional cornbread variety. – S.A. Bodeen • When Amos Moses was a boy his daddy would use him for alligator bait, tie a rope around his neck and throw him in the swamp. – Jerry Reed • When I was a little kid, I was the first kid in my neighborhood to have a pet alligator. – Benicio Del Toro • When I was young, I had a big problem with warts. It started with one on the side of my little finger. A year later, I had it on all my fingers. My hands looked like the hands of an alligator. So I fist bumped people instead of shaking hands for a few years. – Berhan Ahmed • When we were shooting in Shreveport, me and a couple of friends went down to Lafayette, because they had a big Zydeco music festival down there. We spent two days dancing to Zydeco music, eating fried alligator… It was one of the craziest festivals I’ve ever been to in my life, but I loved it. – Alexander Skarsgard • Writing fantasy lets me imagine a great deal more than, say, writing about alligators, and lets me write about places more distant than Florida, but I can tell you things about Florida and alligators, let you make the connection all on your own. – Terry Brooks • Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators. – Richard Miller • You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot. – Phyllis Diller • You’ve got forever; and somehow you can’t do much with it. You’ve got forever; and it’s a mile wide and an inch deep and full of alligators. – Jim Thompson

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equitiesstocks · 5 years

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Alligators Quotes

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