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#and clown on wheatley a lot
unbeeliever · 6 months
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Here is a permanent link to the Chelley Discord :) come hang out with us and talk about Portal!
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Art dump 1/2
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You can see how far back these are from the snow clown. Also Smokey's dad reveal
"he does this a lot" kid from @/spooky-sharko traumatized wasp from @/stmoloch
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call-me-casual · 2 months
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(Also posted to the LK community)
Okay who’s interested in hearing about the school au I thought up in the shower
Keep in mind that all following information is based on my experience in British education, I have no clue how American schools run different
First we have the kids - James and Henri are both kids from the foster system, James has been adopted by Moses, whilst Henri is still technically a foster (ik ik not Franklin but maybe they’re neighbours). Henri is definitely the class clown whilst James is ambitious, but not too sure how to achieve his academic goals. Sarah is an exchange student from the UK living with Franklin, who is either a relative in this au or a family friend like in canon. She and James initially don’t get along but over time through the newspaper club and sharing most classes they grow closer. Sarah is an A+ student and she tutors James and Henri after school.
Most historical figures are teachers or general staff, except for named foot-soldiers like Joseph Plum Martin or other young historical figures like Sybil Ludington, who would be fellow students
Franklin - the kids’ (or at least James and Sarah’s) tutor (I think Americans call it home room?). He teaches science, and it’s his love of teaching that’s kept him from retiring (though he probably should have years ago). He runs the school newspaper (which James and Sarah are both a part of)
Moses - I can see him as a member of the site team or subject technician of some kind (basically helps to prepare stuff like experiments and maintain the school, but more responsibilities than a janitor). He’s also doing an online university course to get his teaching degree (he’d most likely go into either engineering/dt). The adopted Father for James and foster parent to Henri. Has known Franklin for years and the two are next door neighbours
Lafayette - French. Obviously. He’s a younger teacher popular with the students. His class is the only one Henri doesn’t goof around in, and the two are very close (spoilers: he may end up adopting him). Constantly asking the finance department to let him take a class trip to France. If anyone acts up enough to make him mad the class all turns on that one person (based on my mother’s experience (coincidentally she was also a languages teacher lol)). Often gossips and speaks with Hamilton in French.
Adams - idk if they teach law or politics in American high schools but if not then he’s probably an English teacher. His students live in terror or presenting essays or debates because no one can beat the man. You either love him or hate him, there’s no in between with his classes. Probably head of the department
Hamilton - probably either English or history (though maths is also a contender because he was treasury secretary). Also a younger teacher popular with the students. Has almost gotten into a fight with other teachers. And students. Definitely runs the debate club. Expects assignments in a week before the deadline. Is one of the leaders in staff room gossip.
Washington - I know most people make him the head teacher but I’m not a huge fan of that. He’ll probably end up as the head eventually for this au, but for most of it I imagine him is a department head. I can see him teaching either history, maths or geography (he was a surveyor after all, I could see him being a really good geography teacher). He’s that teacher that looks intimidating but is actually very nice. Believes way more in practical than theory and WILL drag his class outside in any and all weather to do a study. He also looks after any of the animals the school owns. Sometimes brings his dog to class. Is DEFINITELY involved in staff room gossip
Abigail Adams - I can see her as either the school nurse or some sort of creative arts teacher
Phillis Wheatley - definitely either an English teacher (damn we got a lot of those) and if not then some sort of creative arts teacher who also runs a poetry club. If anyone acts up in her class the other students ensure the body is never found.
Please suggest what subjects and the sort other historical figures would teach or any other ideas you have relating to this! ^^ Idk if I’ll draw anything based on this but it’s fun to brainstorm!
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anatthema-art · 2 years
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Tumblr Men Taxonomy
Ever since the rise of the Spamton fanbase i’ve been seeing a lot of debate on if spamton should be considered a Tumblr Sexyman or not and i think everyone saying he’s NOT is correct, but i’ve been talking with some friends and have realized a pattern in what i’d like to lovingly call a new “branch” of tumblr men/people because it’s an exceedingly common character archetype i feel us as a userbase need to acknowledge and treat separate from your oncelers and the like.
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These guys? they’re all classic Tumblr Sexymen right? well, by consulting the primary sources  talking with my friends who were on the website and in the fandoms during the golden age of tumblr men, i’ve realized a massive part of sexyman culture people FORGET is that their appeal doesn’t just come from them being lanky bastard twinks. (we’ll get to sans later)
Their main appeal from a fandom perception is their actual or perceived HUMANITY. That sounds a little weird considering half these characters arent even human, but hear me out. Characters like the onceler and komaeda from dangan ronpa are just... dudes? Like they’re fucked up dudes, but they’re just GUYS. Sans too, even though not a human person, is still a very ORDINARY guy underneath the fandom-imposed angst. the appeal of these characters came from people seeing a spark of relatability and normalcy underneath all their Issues(tm) and fanwork, while portrayed as the “I can fix him” mentality came from a genuine place of exploration into what these people could BE
characters who AREN’T human, like bill cipher, wheatley, and dare I say the goddamn clock from DHMIS were QUITE LITERALLY humanized to explore a potential reality where they COULD be more of... PEOPLE despite their human nature. If they had become popular in THIS day and age, dare i say they fall into our SECOND category more (and as these interpretations of them are fanon i dare say they DO double class considering the disconnect between these common fan headcanons and fans which prefer the source material versions)
and then you get to characters like alastor or jack frost, who were once entirely human, then becoming inhuman entities, and that small bit of something left in there provides intrigue to explore them as people beyond their fun personality exteriors. 
Now, here’s where I’d like to propose the divide. Some of these characters gained less fan notoriety than others (especially because toby fox seems to be the main supplier of these guys) but they have often been labelled TSMs when I see a pretty distinct through line between them, with a little bit of wiggle room
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The name i’ve been lovingly calling these guys is Disney Channel Eldritch Horrors. I am very open to new propositions however as the name implies that they are both from the Disney Channel and eldritch horrors which isn’t always correct. I haven’t found a similar name that conveys the same VIBES yet, so if anyone has any ideas for a better name i’d love to hear it. basically, the gist of this trope is that we have some weird little guys who are probably inhuman nightmares who’s appeal comes from sheer force of personality. this is where you get your weird little clown men and goofy loveable abominations. (i feel like some homestuck characters might fit this bill but i know absolutely nothing about any of them)
some of them MAY have some sort of tragedy involved in their backstory (spamton, flowey) but the main appeal of liking the character i’d argue comes more from the sheer strength of their characterization, rather than that stuff. Spamton is the closest to breeching this, but i feel for spamton fans i see way more posts about how people wanna throw him in a microwave than discussing the deep ramifications of his backtory (plus, he wasn’t ever a human person either.) Flowey on the other hand, the fandom has split asriel and him SO far as to be entirely separate characters despite the divide being less of a thing in canon, and people who are fans of just flowey tend to focus less on his backstory. 
now you’ll see i’ve also included discord in here, which is to demonstrate that i don’t think the body type for these guys has to exclusively be “some little shaped dude”, because discord tows that line, but his appeal still stays in that sheer force of personality, and he’s also very much NOT a human being. as mentioned earlier, the canon versions of wheatley and that stupid clock also probably fit this bill more. Bill Cipher is where i see this divide the strongest, between the canon character and fan reactions and he’s such a popular character that his fanbase CAN be split between these two camps i think. 
disney channel eldritch horrors i think, can be classified more on creator intent with their existence rather than fan reaction like a classic TSM. some of these characters gained more popularity than others but there’s a very specific crowd who forms to liking these characters over the TSM variety.
now, one last proposal in taxonomy, is that the twink body type vs lil shaped guy is an indicator of which category a character may fall into but it is not the primary factor and can be overridden by personality 
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sans is a weird lil guy in classic toby fox fashion, but i think his status as a Tumblr Sexyman should not be questioned since his fandom was the closest thing to the replication OF the onceler fandom and his appeal was very steeped in his more darker aspects of the character. fizzarolli on the other hand, is very much a lanky beanpole dude, but he also is a stupid chaotic jester man who’s sheer VIBES overpower his body type and his popularity is for that personality. this is a rare phenomenon, but i realized it to be the case through some friends’ OCs, as calling some characters “tumblr sexymen” felt incorrect the deeper i thought about it
so uh... thank you for coming to my ted talk? i have a weird fascination with fan culture around these two specific camps of characters and i felt that i wasn’t able to express why i loved my weird jester men so much until now, as i felt my attachment to them felt a little conflated with a different TYPE of fan culture, and so i spewed my word vomit into something somewhat coherent. 
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butterflies-dragons · 4 years
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Sansa - Alayne - Alysanne - Sara - Sansara
A great deal has already been said about how similar Sansa Stark and Good Queen Alysanne Targaryen are. Here some sources:
Sansa Stark and "Good Queen" Alysanne Targaryen parallels
open thread #1: alysansa
Good Queen Alysanne translates to Good Queen D@ny??
Don't you think that Alysanne has more similarities with Arya than Sansa?
Tidbits from Fire and Blood
More tidbits from Fire and Blood
An Idyll where love conquers all
Jaehaerys and Alysanne was a romance unequaled since the days of Florian the Fool and his Jonquil
Doug Wheatley, we need an explanation!
can I copy your homework?
Lord Commander Burley also renamed Snowgate castle in her honor, as Queensgate
is nourishing
What are you doing George?
Jonquil Darke “the Scarlet Shadow” & Joffrey Dogget “the Red Dog of the Hills”
There is a certain irony in people rejecting any Sansa/Alysanne connection
There’s plenty Sansa and Alysanne parallels and some situations may actually repeat themselves
so sansa and good queen alysanne am i the only that sees it?
What are some parallels/similarities between Sansa and Good Queen Alysanne? Are there any?
More Sansa = Alysanne
Queen Alysanne has a knight named Jonquil and meets Lord Commander Lothor at the wall
Sansa & Alysanne portraits 
Queen Alysanne and her cousin King Jaehaerys
Queen Alysanne/Sansa Stark parallel
Why is it so significant the parallel between Queen Alysanne and Sansa?
Queens
Now I will give you my contribution on the matter, mostly based on what I found in my recent first re-reading of Fire & Blood.  
MERCY
Five of Maegor’s Seven yet survived. Two of those, Ser Olyver Bracken and Ser Raymund Mallery, had played a part in the late king’s fall by turning their cloaks and going over to Jaehaerys, but the boy king observed rightly that in doing so they had broken their vows to defend the king’s life with their own. “I will have no oathbreakers at my court,” he proclaimed. All five Kingsguard were therefore sentenced to death…but at the urging of Princess Alysanne, it was agreed that they might be spared if they would exchange their white cloaks for black by joining the Night’s Watch. Four of the five accepted this clemency and departed for the Wall; along with Ser Olyver and Ser Raymund, the turncloaks, went Ser Jon Tollett and Ser Symond Crayne.
—Fire & Blood
This passage reminds me of Sansa asking mercy for her father Ned and saving Dontos’ life by denying him the mercy of a quick death: 
The king! Sansa blinked back her tears. Joffrey was the king now, she thought. Her gallant prince would never hurt her father, no matter what he might have done. If she went to him and pleaded for mercy, she was certain he'd listen. He had to listen, he loved her, even the queen said so. Joff would need to punish Father, the lords would expect it, but perhaps he could send him back to Winterfell, or exile him to one of the Free Cities across the narrow sea. It would only have to be for a few years. By then she and Joffrey would be married. Once she was queen, she could persuade Joff to bring Father back and grant him a pardon.
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV
"Do you deny your father's crime?" Lord Baelish asked.
"No, my lords." Sansa knew better than that. "I know he must be punished. All I ask is mercy. I know my lord father must regret what he did. He was King Robert's friend and he loved him, you all know he loved him. He never wanted to be Hand until the king asked him. They must have lied to him. Lord Renly or Lord Stannis or … or somebody, they must have lied, otherwise …"
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa V
Unhappy, Joffrey shifted in his seat and flicked his fingers at Ser Dontos. "Take him away. I'll have him killed on the morrow, the fool."
"He is," Sansa said. "A fool. You're so clever, to see it. He's better fitted to be a fool than a knight, isn't he? You ought to dress him in motley and make him clown for you. He doesn't deserve the mercy of a quick death."
—A Clash of Kings - Sansa I
JOFFREY & THE HOUND
In Fire & Blood we meet a character named Ser Joffrey Doggett, also known as the Red Dog of the Hills. He was a knight from House Doggett, a noble house from the westerlands, vassals of House Lannister. 
During the reign of Maegor I Targaryen, Ser Joffrey Doggett was a member of the Lannisport chapter of the Warrior's Sons, an order of Westerosi knights sworn to the Faith of the Seven.
Ser Joffrey Doggett’s family was burned by the fires of Balerion: 
Then Maegor himself took wing, flying Balerion to the westerlands, where he burned the castles of the Broomes, the Falwells, the Lorches, and the other “pious lords” who had defied his summons. Lastly he descended upon the seat of House Doggett, reducing it to ash. The fires claimed the lives of Ser Joffrey’s father, mother, and young sister, along with their sworn swords, serving men, and chattel. 
—Fire & Blood
The day of his coronation, Jaehaerys I Targaryen appointed Ser Joffrey Doggett a member of the Kingsguard: 
“I rose against your uncle just as you did,” replied the Red Dog of the Hills, defiant.
“You did,” Jaehaerys allowed, “and you fought bravely, no man can deny. The Warrior’s Sons are no more and your vows to them are at an end, but your service need not be. I have a place for you.” And with these words, the young king shocked the court by offering Ser Joffrey a place by his side as a knight of the Kingsguard. A hush fell then, Grand Maester Benifer tells us, and when the Red Dog drew his longsword there were some who feared he might be about to attack the king with it…but instead the knight went to one knee, bowed his head, and laid his blade at Jaehaerys’s feet. It is said that there were tears upon his cheeks.
—Fire & Blood
Much later, Ser Joffrey Doggett flew with Queen Alysanne on her dragon Silverwing:
Even for a dragon, the flight from King’s Landing to Oldtown is a long one. The king and queen stopped twice along the way, once at Bitterbridge and once at Highgarden, resting overnight and taking counsel with their lords. The lords of the council had insisted that they take some protection at the very least. Ser Joffrey Doggett flew with Alysanne, and the Scarlet Shadow, Jonquil Darke, with Jaehaerys, so as to balance the weight each dragon carried.
—Fire & Blood
So here we have a character from the westernlands, vassal of the Lannisters, named Joffrey but also known as a red dog, whose family was burned by dragonfire and later became a member of the Kingsguard of Jaehaerys and also protected Queen Alysanne.  Ser Joffrey Doggett sounds like a combination of Joffrey Lannister and his sworn sword and later Kingsguard Sandor Clegane, the Hound. Both characters closely connected with Sansa Stark.
This is not the first time that GRRM did something like this. In the tale “The Hedge Knight”, part of his book “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”, GRRM has surrounded the fair maid of the Ashford Tourney, a girl of 13 years old, with a lot of characters that remind us of Sansa’s suitors and other men somehow interested in her.  
And this is not the only time that GRRM did it in Fire & Blood either. Queen Alysanne is surrounded by a lot of characters that remind us of ASOIAF characters that surround Sansa Stark. 
APPEARANCE
Before Fire & Blood, GRRM gave us this description of Good Queen Alysanne Targaryen, as an old woman at the end of Jaehaerys I reign:
GOOD QUEEN ALYSANNE
Alysanne was the queen, consort, and sister of King Jaehaerys I, the Old King, and like him she lived a long life. Since you pictured him as an old man at the end of his reign, I figure it would be most appropriate to do her the same way, rather than as the young woman she was when Jaehaerys first ascended the Iron Throne.
You might consider Alysanne as the Eleanor of Aquitaine of Westeros, and model her on Katharine Hepburn's portrayal of Eleanor in the film THE LION IN WINTER. Tall and straight, unbowed by time, she had high cheekbones, clear blue eyes. Age left crow's feet around her eyes and laugh lines about her mouth, but her face never lost its strength. She was a fine archer and hunter in her youth, and loved to fly atop her dragon to all the distant parts of the realm. Alysanne was slim of waist and small of breast, with a long neck, a fair complexion, a high forehead. In old age her hair turned white as snow. She wore it in a bun, pulled back and pinned behind her hear.
Her relationship with King Jaehaerys was always very close. She was his most trusted counselor and his right hand, and often wore a slimmer, more feminine version of his crown at court. Beloved by the common people of Westeros, she loved them in return, and was renowned for her charities.
[Source]
Here is Katharine Hepburn as Eleanor of Aquitaine in the film THE LION IN WINTER:
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Katharine Hepburn‘s was 1.72 m.
After Fire & Blood, GRRM gave us this description of Good Queen Alysanne Targaryen, as a girl of 13 years old: 
Though she had only recently turned thirteen, the young princess rose to the challenge brilliantly, all agreed. For seven days and seven nights, she broke her fast with one group of highborn ladies, dined with a second, supped with a third. She showed them the wonders of the Red Keep, sailed with them on Blackwater Bay, and rode with them about the city.
Alysanne Targaryen, the youngest child of King Aenys and Queen Alyssa, had been little known amongst the lords and ladies of the realm before then. Her childhood had been spent in the shadow of her brothers and her elder sister, Rhaena, and when she was spoken of at all it was as “the little maid” and “the other daughter.” She was little, this was true; slim and slight of frame, Alysanne was oft described as pretty but seldom as beautiful, though she was born of a house renowned for beauty. Her eyes were blue rather than purple, her hair a mass of honey-colored curls. No man ever questioned her wits.
Later, it would be said of her that she learned to read before she was weaned, and the court fool would make japes about little Alysanne dribbling mother’s milk on Valyrian scrolls as she tried to read whilst suckling at her wet nurse’s teat. Had she been a boy she would surely have been sent to the Citadel to forge a maester’s chain, Septon Barth would say of her…
(...)
“My little flower,” was how the queen described her. Like Alysanne herself, Daella was small—on her toes, she stood five feet two inches—and there was a childish aspect to her that led everyone who met her to think she was younger than her age. Unlike Alysanne, she was delicate as well, in ways the queen had never been. 
—Fire & Blood
5.2 feet = 1.58 m.
Queen Alysanne’s “semi canon” description matched with Sansa’s a lot. But, from the “semi canon” source to the canon source (Fire & Blood), Queen Alysanne changed from tall (1.72 m) to small (1.58 m).  She kept two features that are very similar to Sansa though:   
Not purple eyes but BLUE EYES
Not silver hair but HONEY-COLORED CURLS 
And these two features are very close to the main features of House Tully: Blue Eyes and Auburn Hair. 
You can google “honey colored hair” and see by yourselves that honey colored is closer to auburn than silver. There are also metas about the matter out there, you can check them out too.   
There is not no mention of high cheekbones in Fire & Blood, but the illustrator of the book, Doug Wheatley, definitely gave Queen Alysanne high cheekbones and a very close resemble to Sophie Turner, the actress that played Sansa Stark in the Series:
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This could be a coincidence of course. This is what GRRM has said about book illustrations while promoting Fire & Blood:  
Q: You have a very distinct idea of what the characters look like in your own head, because readers will always take their own?
GRRM: I do have ideas of what the characters look like in my own head but I’m perfectly willing to let the artist do different interpretations… You know, let different artists present their different interpretations of it, I’m fine with that. It’s not photography, so I love the idea of, you know, letting people use their own creativity within limits of course, but I love some of the works, many of the works I’ve bought original is hanging on, you know, on my own walls so…    
In conversation: George R. R. Martin with John Hodgman FULL EVENT 
Drawing Queen Alysanne with a close resemble to Sophie Turner was within the limits, it seems. 
I’m not saying Queen Alysanne and Sansa are identical twins, they don’t have to be, but they share significant physical features. They have differences as well, Alysanne is slim with small breast while Sansa is curvy with a big bosom. 
Queen Alysanne and Sansa also share these traits:
Alysanne was a bright but unremarkable girl; small but never sickly, courteous, biddable, with a sweet smile and a pleasing voice. To the relief of her parents, she displayed none of the timidity that had afflicted her elder sister, Rhaena, as a small child. Neither did she exhibit the willful and stubborn temperament of Rhaena’s daughter Aerea.
—Fire & Blood
This Alysanne’s description matches almost bit by bit these Sansa’s descriptions (including the contrast between Alysanne/Aerea and Sansa/Arya): 
It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward.
—A Game of Thrones - Arya I
"Sansa was a lady at three, always so courteous and eager to please. She loved nothing so well as tales of knightly valor. Men would say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was, you can see that. I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. She had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so thick and soft . . . the red in it would catch the light of the torches and shine like copper.
"And Arya, well . . . Ned's visitors would oft mistake her for a stableboy if they rode into the yard unannounced. Arya was a trial, it must be said. Half a boy and half a wolf pup. Forbid her anything and it became her heart's desire. She had Ned's long face, and brown hair that always looked as though a bird had been nesting in it. I despaired of ever making a lady of her. She collected scabs as other girls collect dolls, and would say anything that came into her head. I think she must be dead too." When she said that, it felt as though a giant hand were squeezing her chest. 
—A Clash of Kings - Catelyn VII
Tyrion let them have their byplay; it was all for his benefit, he knew. Sansa Stark, he mused. Soft-spoken sweet-smelling Sansa, who loved silks, songs, chivalry and tall gallant knights with handsome faces. He felt as though he was back on the bridge of boats, the deck shifting beneath his feet.
—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III
So the singer played for her, so soft and sad that Arya only heard snatches of the words, though the tune was half-familiar. Sansa would know it, I bet. Her sister had known all the songs, and she could even play a little, and sing so sweetly. All I could ever do was shout the words.
—A Storm of Swords - Arya IV
INTELLIGENCE
Fire & Blood remarks Alysanne’s intelligence a lot, she was an avid reader and she could have been a Maester of the Citadel:
No man ever questioned her wits.
Later, it would be said of her that she learned to read before she was weaned, and the court fool would make japes about little Alysanne dribbling mother’s milk on Valyrian scrolls as she tried to read whilst suckling at her wet nurse’s teat. Had she been a boy she would surely have been sent to the Citadel to forge a maester’s chain, Septon Barth would say of her…for that wise man esteemed her even more than her husband, whom he served for so long. That was far in the future, however; in 49 AC, Alysanne was but a girl of thirteen years, yet all the chronicles agree that she made a powerful impression on those who met her.
(...)
It is written that the young king and queen were seldom apart during that time, sharing every meal, talking late into the night of the green days of their childhood and the challenges ahead, fishing and hawking together, mingling with the island’s smallfolk in dockside inns, reading to one another from dusty leatherbound tomes they found in the castle library, taking lessons together from Dragonstone’s maesters (“for we still have much to learn,” Alysanne is said to have reminded her husband).
(...)
“If I had not become queen, I might have liked to be a maester,” she told the Conclave. “I read, I write, I think, I am not afraid of ravens…or a bit of blood. There are other highborn girls who feel the same. Why not admit them to your Citadel? If they cannot keep up, send them home, the way you send home boys who are not clever enough. If you would give the girls a chance, you might be surprised by how many forge a chain.”
(...)
For three days she lost herself in the Citadel’s great library, emerging only to attend lectures on the Valyrian dragon wars, leechcraft, and the gods of the Summer Isles.
(...)
Once the initial frost had thawed, his lordship took the queen hunting after elk and wild boar in the wolfswood, showed her the bones of a giant, and allowed her to rummage as she pleased through his modest castle library.
—Fire & Blood
Sansa shares Alysanne’s love for reading:
The queen took Sansa's hand in both of hers. "Child, do you know your lettersSansa nodded nervously. She could read and write better than any of her brothers, although she was hopeless at sums.
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV
Jeyne Poole and all her things were gone when Ser Mandon Moore returned Sansa to the high tower of Maegor's Holdfast. No more weeping, she thought gratefully. Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she'd built a fire. She pulled a chair close to the hearth, took down one of her favorite books, and lost herself in the stories of Florian and Jonquil, of Lady Shella and the Rainbow Knight, of valiant Prince Aemon and his doomed love for his brother's queen.
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV
“Do you read well, Alayne?"
"Septa Mordane was good enough to say so."
—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI
Here is Arya listing all of Sansa’s artistic talents:
It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward.
—A Game of Thrones - Arya I
Arya is also here to tell us that Sansa is good at Heraldry:
No one ransomed the northmen, though. One fat lordling haunted the kitchens, Hot Pie told her, always looking for a morsel. His mustache was so bushy that it covered his mouth, and the clasp that held his cloak was a silver-and-sapphire trident. He belonged to Lord Tywin, but the fierce, bearded young man who liked to walk the battlements alone in a black cloak patterned with white suns had been taken by some hedge knight who meant to get rich off him. Sansa would have known who he was, and the fat one too, but Arya had never taken much interest in titles and sigils. Whenever Septa Mordane had gone on about the history of this house and that house, she was inclined to drift and dream and wonder when the lesson would be done.
—A Clash of Kings - Arya VII
Sansa understands songs sung in High Valyrian:
"I'm sore all over," Arya reported happily, proudly displaying a huge purple bruise on her leg.
"You must be a terrible dancer," Sansa said doubtfully.
Later, while Sansa was off listening to a troupe of singers perform the complex round of interwoven ballads called the "Dance of the Dragons," Ned inspected the bruise himself. "I hope Forel is not being too hard on you," he said.
—A Game of Thrones - Eddard VII
Then the heralds summoned another singer; Collio Quaynis of Tyrosh, who had a vermilion beard and an accent as ludicrous as Symon had promised. Collio began with his version of "The Dance of the Dragons," which was more properly a song for two singers, male and female. Tyrion suffered through it with a double helping of honey-ginger partridge and several cups of wine. A haunting ballad of two dying lovers amidst the Doom of Valyria might have pleased the hall more if Collio had not sung it in High Valyrian, which most of the guests could not speak.
—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII
If the Eyrie had been made like other castles, only rats and gaolers would have heard the dead man singing. Dungeon walls were thick enough to swallow songs and screams alike. But the sky cells had a wall of empty air, so every chord the dead man played flew free to echo off the stony shoulders of the Giant's Lance. And the songs he chose . . . He sang of the Dance of the Dragons, of fair Jonquil and her fool, of Jenny of Oldstones and the Prince of Dragonflies. He sang of betrayals, and murders most foul, of hanged men and bloody vengeance. He sang of grief and sadness.
—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I
But, apparently, Sansa is bad with numbers...
It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward.
—A Game of Thrones - Arya I
She could read and write better than any of her brothers, although she was hopeless at sums.
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV
Something changed then, because Alayne Stone is doing pretty well as de facto Lady of the Eyrie...
I can continue but this would be too long, so it’s better if I leave you this great post about Sansa’s intelligence: Sansa Smart
And here is GRRM himself talking about Sansa’s wits:  
Up to now Sansa has been a piece, that other people have moved around the board, to achieve her own goals, using her, discarding her, using her for a different purpose: You know, you’re going to marry Joffrey. No, you’re going to marry Loras. You’re going to marry Tyrion. She is beginning to at least try to understand how she can play the Game of Thrones and be not a piece, but a player. With her own goals, and moving other pieces around. And she’s not a warrior like Robb, Jon Snow. She’s not even a wild child like Arya. She can’t fight with swords, axes. She can’t raise armies. But she has her wits! Same as Littlefinger has.
—Game of Thrones Season 4: Episode #8 - A Different Purpose (HBO)
UNDERDOGS
Queen Alysanne Targaryen and Sansa Stark are two examples of “underdogs”:
No one paid attention to Alysanne until she was a maid of thirteen and was left in charge to entertain and charm lords and ladies at court. She grew up in the shadow of her older siblings, she was never expected to be Queen:
Alysanne Targaryen, the youngest child of King Aenys and Queen Alyssa, had been little known amongst the lords and ladies of the realm before then. Her childhood had been spent in the shadow of her brothers and her elder sister, Rhaena, and when she was spoken of at all it was as “the little maid” and “the other daughter.” 
(...)
We know very little about the childhood of Alysanne Targaryen; as the fifthborn child of King Aenys and Queen Alyssa, and a female, observers at court found her of less interest than her older siblings who stood higher in the line of succession. From what little has come down to us, Alysanne was a bright but unremarkable girl; small but never sickly, courteous, biddable, with a sweet smile and a pleasing voice. To the relief of her parents, she displayed none of the timidity that had afflicted her elder sister, Rhaena, as a small child. Neither did she exhibit the willful and stubborn temperament of Rhaena’s daughter Aerea.
—Fire & Blood
The same way as Alysanne was described as “unremarkable”, Sansa Stark is often described as “stupid”:
That gorget wasn't fastened proper. You think Gregor didn't notice that? You think Ser Gregor's lance rode up by chance, do you? Pretty little talking girl, you believe that, you're empty-headed as a bird for true. 
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II
"Your Grace," he said sharply. "You truly are a stupid girl, aren't you? My mother says so."
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI
. . . ah, you're still a stupid little bird, aren't you? Singing all the songs they taught you . . . 
—A Clash of Kings - Sansa II
"Everyone wants to be loved." "I see flowering hasn't made you any brighter," said Cersei. 
—A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV
"He will," Sansa lied. "He is very . . . very comely."
"You said that. You know, child, some say that you are as big a fool as Butterbumps here, and I am starting to believe them. 
—A Storm of Swords - Sansa I
"Her heart was broken."
Sansa would have sighed and shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid. She couldn't say that to Ned, though, not about his own aunt. "Did someone break it?"
—A Storm of Swords - Arya VIII
"I forgot, you've been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell's daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head."
That's stupid, Arya thought. Sansa only knows songs, not spells, and she'd never marry the Imp.
—A Storm of Swords - Arya XIII
"NO!" Lysa gave Sansa's head another wrench. Snow eddied around them, making their skirts snap noisily. "You can't want her. You can't. She's a stupid empty-headed little girl.
—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII
"Some books. I like the fighting stories. My sister Sansa likes the kissing stories, but those are stupid."
—A Dance with Dragons - Bran III
Sansa as Alysanne was not “remarkable” among her siblings, who often called her stupid, specially Bran and Arya, and was never expected to be the Heir of Winterfell or the Stark at Winterfell. She is the underdog...  
... And GRRM just loves underdogs:
Chris Long: Do you watch sports through that lens (characters developed all the time, unsung heroes/archnemesis of everybody/misunderstood as villains/some heroes are villains in disguise), with your writing background, and your penchant for creating characters, do you look at the characters in sports?  
GRRM: I do. You know, I think America loves the underdog, and we don’t like, except if it happens to be your dynasty, we tend not to like dynasties, you know?
—George RR Martin in The Fish Bowl with Chris Long
WEDDED BUT NOT BEDDED
Alysanne and Sansa flowered and wedded at a similar age. But both remained maidens: 
The princess was three-and-ten years of age, and had recently celebrated her first flowering, so it was thought desirable to see her wed as soon as possible. 
(...)
A modest feast followed the ceremony, and many toasts were drunk to the health of the boy king and his new queen. Afterward Jaehaerys and Alysanne retired to the bedchamber where Aegon the Conqueror had once slept beside his sister Rhaenys, but in view of the bride’s youth there was no bedding ceremony, and the marriage was not consummated.
—Fire & Blood
“How old are you, Sansa?” asked Tyrion, after a moment.
“Thirteen,” she said, “when the moon turns.”
—A Storm of Swords - Sansa III
“She is old enough to be Lady of Winterfell once her brother is dead. Claim her maidenhood and you will be one step closer to claiming the north. Get her with child, and the prize is all but won. Do I need to remind you that a marriage that has not been consummated can be set aside?”
—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion IV
Also Alysanne’s determination to marry his King brother Jaehaerys against her own mother's wishes, sounds pretty much like Sansa's stubbornness to marry Joffrey against Ned's orders.
Sansa, in an act of defiance, ran to Cersei and tells her of her father's plans, pleading that she might be allowed to stay and marry Joffrey.
"How well I know that, child," Cersei said, her voice so kind and sweet. "Why else should you have come to me and told me of your father's plan to send you away from us, if not for love?"
"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. She had never done anything so willful before, and she would never have done it then if she hadn't loved Joffrey as much as she did. "He was going to take me back to Winterfell and marry me to some hedge knight, even though it was Joff I wanted. I told him, but he wouldn't listen." The king had been her last hope. The king could command Father to let her stay in King's Landing and marry Prince Joffrey, Sansa knew he could, but the king had always frightened her. He was loud and rough-voiced and drunk as often as not, and he would probably have just sent her back to Lord Eddard, if they even let her see him. So she went to the queen instead, and poured out her heart, and Cersei had listened and thanked her sweetly … only then Ser Arys had escorted her to the high room in Maegor's Holdfast and posted guards, and a few hours later, the fighting had begun outside. "Please," she finished, "you have to let me marry Joffrey, I'll be ever so good a wife to him, you'll see. I'll be a queen just like you, I promise."
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV
Alysanne ran to Jaehaerys himself and they both elope to Dragonstone:
No record survives of what Alysanne Targaryen said or thought when first she learned that she was to be wed to a youth ten years her senior, whom she scarcely knew and (if rumor can be believed) did not like. We know only what she did. Another girl might have wept or raged or run pleading to her mother. In many a sad song, maidens forced to wed against their will throw themselves from tall towers to their deaths. Princess Alysanne did none of these things. Instead she went directly to Jaehaerys.
The young king was as displeased as his sister at the news. “They will be making wedding plans for me as well, I do not doubt,” he deduced at once. Like his sister, Jaehaerys did not waste time with reproaches, recriminations, or appeals. Instead he acted. Summoning his Kingsguard, he instructed them to sail at once for Dragonstone, where he would meet them shortly. “You have sworn me your swords and your obedience,” he reminded his Seven. “Remember those vows, and speak no word of my departure.”
That night, under cover of darkness, King Jaehaerys and Princess Alysanne mounted their dragons, Vermithor and Silverwing, and departed the Red Keep for the ancient Targaryen citadel below the Dragonmont. Reportedly the first words the young king spoke upon landing were, “I have need of a septon.”
—Fire & Blood
Curiously enough Alysanne’s first betrothed was Orryn Baratheon, just like Sansa’s first betrothed was Joffrey Baratheon.
LIKE IN THE SONGS
Alysanne and Jaehaerys eloping and first wedding had all the element’s of a fairy tale, like the songs Sansa loves to read: 
The Kingsguards as witnesses 
The Kingsguard arrived from King’s Landing by galley a few days later. The following morning, as the sun rose, Jaehaerys Targaryen, the First of His Name, took to wife his sister Alysanne in the great yard at Dragonstone, before the eyes of gods and men and dragons. Septon Oswyck performed the marriage rites; though the old man’s voice was thin and tremulous, no part of the ceremony was neglected. The seven knights of the Kingsguard stood witness to the union, their white cloaks snapping in the wind. 
—Fire & Blood
The Kingsguards fighting against the men that tried to separate the couple
From that day to this, the tale has been a favorite of lovesick maidens and their squires throughout the Seven Kingdoms, and many a bard has sung of the valor of the Kingsguard, seven men in white cloaks who faced down half a hundred. 
—Fire & Blood
This eloping, secret wedding and the Kingsguars involvement reminds me a lot of Lyanna’s “abduction” by Rhaegar and the Kingsguards “protecting” Lyanna in the Tower of Joy...  
A romance unequaled since the days of Florian and Jonquil
“That is how the singers tell the tale, certainly; the swift and sudden marriage of Jaehaerys and Alysanne was a romance unequaled since the days of Florian the Fool and his Jonquil, to hear them sing of it. And in songs, as ever, love conquers all. ”
—Fire & Blood
Florian and Jonquil love story is Sansa’s favorite. 
We are one now, and neither gods nor men shall part us
“As you command, Mother.” King Jaehaerys pulled his sister closer and put his arm around her. “But do not think that you shall unmake this marriage. We are one now, and neither gods nor men shall part us.” “Never,” his bride affirmed. “Send me to the ends of the earth and wed me to the King of Mossovy or the Lord of the Grey Waste, Silverwing will always bring me back to Jaehaerys.” And with that she raised herself onto her toes and lifted her face to the king, and he kissed her full upon the lips whilst all looked on.”
—Fire & Blood
An endless honeymoon
“It is written that the young king and queen were seldom apart during that time, sharing every meal, talking late into the night of the green days of their childhood and the challenges ahead, fishing and hawking together, mingling with the island’s smallfolk in dockside inns, reading to one another from dusty leatherbound tomes they found in the castle library, taking lessons together from Dragonstone’s maesters (“for we still have much to learn,” Alysanne is said to have reminded her husband), praying beside Septon Oswyck. They flew together as well, all around the Dragonmont and oft as far as Driftmark.”
—Fire & Blood
A maid observing her love while training
Every morning Jaehaerys trained with them in the castle yard, shouting at them to come at him harder, to press him, harry him, and attack him in every way they knew. From sunrise till noon he worked with them, honing his skills with sword and spear and mace and axe whilst his new queen looked on.”
(…)
“Jaehaerys was oft brusied and bloody by evening, to Alysanne’s distress, but his prowess improved so markedly”
—Fire & Blood
Jaehaerys training with more than one man at the same time reminds me of Garlan Tyrell and Jon Snow because they do the same:
On the edge of the yard, a lone knight with a pair of golden roses on his shield was holding off three foes. Even as they watched, he caught one of them alongside the head, knocking him senseless. "Is that your brother?" Sansa asked.
"It is, my lady," said Ser Loras. "Garlan often trains against three men, or even four. In battle it is seldom one against one, he says, so he likes to be prepared."
"He must be very brave."
"He is a great knight," Ser Loras replied. "A better sword than me, in truth, though I'm the better lance."
—A Storm of Swords - Sansa I
Jon swelled with pride. "Robb is a stronger lance than I am, but I'm the better sword, and Hullen says I sit a horse as well as anyone in the castle."
—A Game of Thrones - Jon I
“When Iron Emmett spied him, he raised a hand and combat ceased. “Lord Commander. How may we serve you?”
“With your three best.”
Emmett grinned. “Arron. Emrick. Jace.” . . .
“Which one do you want first?” asked Arron.
“All three of you. At once.”
“Three on one?” Jace was incredulous. “That wouldn’t be fair.” He was one of Conwy’s latest bunch, a cobbler’s son from Fair Isle. Maybe that explained it.
“True. Come here.”
When he did, Jon’s blade slammed him alongside his head, knocking him off his feet. In the blink of an eye the boy had a boot on his chest and a swordpoint at his throat. “War is never fair,” Jon told him. “It’s two on one now, and you’re dead.”
—A Dance with Dragons - Jon VI
An Idyll
“Queen Alysanne, for her part, was in no haste to return to court. “Here I have you to myself, day and night,” she told Jaehaerys. “When we go back, I shall be fortunate to snatch an hour with you, for every man in Westeros will want a piece of you.” For her, these days on Dragonstone were an idyll. “Many years from now when we are old and grey, we shall look back upon these days and smile, remembering how happy we were.”
—Fire & Blood
Sansa Stark is sighing somewhere... 
QUEENS
I found this very interesting detail in Fire & Blood: The Three Queens 
In 50 AC, the realm of Westeros found itself blessed with one king, a Hand, and three queens, as in King Maegor’s day…but whereas Maegor’s queens had been consorts, subservient to his will, living and dying at his whim, each of the queens of the half-century was a power in her own right.
In the Red Keep of King’s Landing sat the Queen Regent Alyssa, widow of the late King Aenys, mother to his son Jaehaerys, and wife to the King’s Hand, Rogar Baratheon. Just across Blackwater Bay on Dragonstone, a younger queen had arisen when Alyssa’s daughter Alysanne, a maid of thirteen years, had pledged her troth to her brother King Jaehaerys, against the wishes of her mother and her mother’s lord husband. And far to the west on Fair Isle, with the whole width of Westeros separating her from both mother and sister, was Alyssa’s eldest daughter, the dragonrider Rhaena Targaryen, widow of Prince Aegon the Uncrowned. In the westerlands, riverlands, and parts of the Reach, men were already calling her the Queen in the West.
—Fire & Blood
This passage obviously makes me think in The Three Queens mentioned by Littlefinger in a conversation with Sansa in A Feast for Crows:  
“You would not believe half of what is happening in King’s Landing, sweetling. Cersei stumbles from one idiocy to the next, helped along by her council of the deaf, the dim, and the blind. I always anticipated that she would beggar the realm and destroy herself, but I never expected she would do it quite so fast. It is quite vexing. I had hoped to have four or five quiet years to plant some seeds and allow some fruits to ripen, but now … it is a good thing that I thrive on chaos. What little peace and order the five kings left us will not long survive the three queens, I fear.”
“Three queens?” She did not understand.
Nor did Petyr choose to explain. Instead, he smiled and said, “I have brought my sweet girl back a gift.”
—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
Thanks to this passage of Fire & Blood about The Three Queens: 
Queen Alyssa, Queen Regent, widow of Aenys
Queen Alysanne, Queen Consort, wife of Jaehaerys (but still a maid)
Queen Rhaena, widow of Prince Aegon the Uncrowned (& Maegor)
We can make the following association with these three ASOIAF characters in a similar position:
Alyssa/Cersei = Regents & Widows
Alysanne/Sansa = Wedded but No Bedded
Rhaena/Margaery = Twice Widows of Aegon/Maegor & Renly/Joffrey
But Fire & Blood has a little surprise in a footnote:
Footnote:
*1.- It should be noted, lest we be charged with omission, that there was a fourth queen in Westeros in 50 AC. The twice-widowed Queen Elinor of House Costayne, who had found King Maegor dead upon the Iron Throne, had departed King’s Landing after Jaehaerys’s ascent. Dressed in the robes of a penitent and accompanied only by a handmaid and one leal man-at-arms, she made her way to the Eyrie in the Vale of Arryn to visit the eldest of her three sons by Ser Theo Bolling, and thence to Highgarden in the Reach, where her second son had been fostered to Lord Tyrell. Once satisfied of their well-being, the former queen reclaimed her youngest boy and repaired to her father’s seat at Three Towers in the Reach, where she declared she would live quietly for the remainder of her life. Fate, and King Jaehaerys, had other plans for her, as we shall relate later. Suffice it to say that Queen Elinor played no role in the events of 50 AC.
—Fire & Blood
The fourth queen was Elinor Costayne, widow, mother of three living sons and one stillborn of Maegor. 
So we can make this final association:
Alyssa/Cersei = Regents & Widows
Alysanne/Sansa = Wedded but Not Bedded
Rhaena/Margaery = Twice Widows of Aegon/Maegor & Renly/Joffrey
Elinor/Daenerys = Widows, Mothers of three living sons: 3 Bolling sons/Drogo-Rhaegal-Viseryon & one twisted and malformed stillborn (unnamed/Rhaego)
Take note how Alysanne is described as “a younger queen” and “maid of thirteen”, because this could be a hint that Sansa Stark is the younger and more beautiful queen of Maggy The Frog prophecy.    
FLORIAN & JONQUIL
Sansa Stark’s favorite love story is the Tale of Florian and Jonquil, and Alysanne Targaryen is heavily associate with that story as well.
As mentioned earlier, Alysanne’s own love story is compared to Florian and Jonquil:
“That is how the singers tell the tale, certainly; the swift and sudden marriage of Jaehaerys and Alysanne was a romance unequaled since the days of Florian the Fool and his Jonquil, to hear them sing of it. And in songs, as ever, love conquers all. ”
—Fire & Blood
The Maidenpool incident
Alysanne suffered an attempt of murder perpetuated by three women at Maidenpool:
The town of Maidenpool was far famed for the sweetwater pool where legend had it that Florian the Fool had first glimpsed Jonquil bathing during the Age of Heroes. Like thousands of other women before her, Queen Alysanne wished to bathe in Jonquil’s pool, whose waters were said to have amazing healing properties. The lords of Maidenpool had erected a great stone bathhouse around the pool many centuries before, and given it over to an order of holy sisters. No men were allowed to enter the premises, so when the queen slipped into the sacred waters, she was attended only by her ladies-in-waiting, maids, and septas (Edyth and Lyra, who had served beside Septa Ysabel as novices, had both recently sworn their vows to become septas, consecrated in the Faith and devoted to the queen).
The goodness of the little queen, the silence of the Starry Sept, and the exhortations of the Seven Speakers had won over most of the Faithful for Jaehaerys and his Alysanne…but there are always some who will not be moved, and amongst the sisters who tended Jonquil’s Pool were three such women, whose hearts were hard with hate. They told one another that their holy waters would be polluted forever were the queen allowed to bathe in them whilst carrying the king’s “abomination” in her belly. Queen Alysanne had only slipped out of her clothing when they fell upon her with daggers they had concealed within their robes.
Blessedly, the attackers were no warriors, and they had not taken the courage of the queen’s companions into account. Naked and vulnerable, the Wise Women did not hesitate, but stepped between the attackers and their lady. Septa Edyth was slashed across the face, Prudence Celtigar stabbed through the shoulder, whilst Rosamund Ball took a dagger in the belly that, three days later, proved to be the death of her, but none of the murderous blades touched the queen. The shouts and screams of the struggle brought Alysanne’s protectors running, for Ser Joffrey Doggett and Ser Gyles Morrigen had been guarding the entrance to the bathhouse, never dreaming that the danger lurked within.
The Kingsguard made short work of the attackers, slaying two out of hand whilst keeping the third alive for questioning. When encouraged, she revealed that half a dozen others of their order had helped plan the attack, whilst lacking the courage to wield a blade. Lord Mooton hanged the guilty, and might have hanged the innocent as well, save for Queen Alysanne’s intervention.
—Fire & Blood
I find this incident a metaphor of that famous Littlefinger line: "Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow." Maidenpool was a place where a great love story occurred but for Alysanne was also the place where other women tried to murder her.  She was pregnant of her first child during the attack and later she gave birth a premature baby, Aegon. He died three days after birth. Alysanne blamed her son’s death on the women who attacked her at Maidenpool. Had she been allowed to bathe in the healing waters of Jonquil’s Pool, she would say, Prince Aegon would have lived.
The same ‘disillusionment’ happened when Jaime and Brienne arrived at Maidenpool in ASOIAF and found the pool full of corpses:
At Maidenpool, Lord Mooton's red salmon still flew above the castle on its hill, but the town walls were deserted, the gates smashed, half the homes and shops burned or plundered. They saw nothing living but a few feral dogs that went slinking away at the sound of their approach. The pool from which the town took its name, where legend said that Florian the Fool had first glimpsed Jonquil bathing with her sisters, was so choked with rotting corpses that the water had turned into a murky grey-green soup.
Jaime took one look and burst into song. "Six maids there were in a spring-fed pool . . ."
—A Storm of Swords - Jaime III
But this awful incident was the cause for Alysanne to take a female knight to protect her. A knight with a very singular name: Jonquil Darke.
FEMALE KNIGHT
Jonquil Darke
With hundreds of knights eager to compete for the honor of serving in the Kingsguard, the combats lasted seven full days. Several of the more colorful competitors became favorites of the smallfolk, who cheered them raucously each time they fought. One such was the Drunken Knight, Ser Willam Stafford, a short, stout, big-bellied man who always appeared so intoxicated that it was a wonder he could stand, let alone fight. The commons named him “the Keg o’ Ale,” and sang “Hail, Hail, Keg o’ Ale” whenever he took the field. Another favorite of the commons was the Bard of Flea Bottom, Tom the Strummer, who mocked his foes with ribald songs before each bout. The slender mystery knight known only as the Serpent in Scarlet also had a great following; when finally defeated and unmasked, “he” proved to be a woman, Jonquil Darke, a bastard daughter of the Lord of Duskendale.
In the end, none of these would earn a white cloak.
—Fire & Blood
Jonquil reminds me a lot of Brienne of Tarth, the True Knight of ASOIAF. Both female knights that competed for a place in the Kingsguard. Jonquil didn’t make it, but Brienne got a place in Renly’s Rainbow Guard. 
After the Maidenpool incident, Alysanne chose Jonquil Darke to be her sworn shield:   
“I need a protector of mine own,” she told His Grace. “Your Seven are leal men and valiant, but they are men, and there are places men cannot go.” The king could not disagree. A raven flew to Duskendale that very night, commanding the new Lord Darklyn to send to court his bastard half-sister, Jonquil Darke, who had thrilled the smallfolk during the War for the White Cloaks as the mystery knight known as the Serpent in Scarlet. Still in scarlet, she arrived at King’s Landing a few days later, and gladly accepted appointment as the queen’s own sworn shield. In time, she would be known about the realm as the Scarlet Shadow, so closely did she guard her lady. 
—Fire & Blood
At this point in ASOIAF, Briene of Tarth is in a quest to find Sansa Stark to fulfill the promises that Jaime Lannister and her did to Catelyn Stark:
“Hear me out, Brienne. Both of us swore oaths concerning Sansa Stark. Cersei means to see that the girl is found and killed, wherever she has gone to ground . . .”
Brienne’s homely face twisted in fury. “If you believe that I would harm my lady’s daughter for a sword, you—”
“Just listen,” he snapped, angered by her assumption. “I want you to find Sansa first, and get her somewhere safe. How else are the two of us going to make good our stupid vows to your precious dead Lady Catelyn?”
The wench blinked. “I . . . I thought . . .”
“I know what you thought.” Suddenly Jaime was sick of the sight of her. She bleats like a bloody sheep. “When Ned Stark died, his greatsword was given to the King’s Justice,” he told her. “But my father felt that such a fine blade was wasted on a mere headsman. He gave Ser Ilyn a new sword, and had Ice melted down and reforged. There was enough metal for two new blades. You’re holding one. So you’ll be defending Ned Stark’s daughter with Ned Stark’s own steel, if that makes any difference to you.”
“Ser, I . . . I owe you an apolo . . .”
He cut her off. “Take the bloody sword and go, before I change my mind. There’s a bay mare in the stables, as homely as you are but somewhat better trained. Chase after Steelshanks, search for Sansa, or ride home to your isle of sapphires, it’s naught to me. I don’t want to look at you anymore.”
“Jaime . . .”
“Kingslayer,” he reminded her. “Best use that sword to clean the wax out of your ears, wench. We’re done.”
Stubbornly, she persisted. “Joffrey was your . . .”
“My king. Leave it at that.”
“You say Sansa killed him. Why protect her?”
Because Joff was no more to me than a squirt of seed in Cersei’s cunt. And because he deserved to die. “I have made kings and unmade them. Sansa Stark is my last chance for honor.” Jaime smiled thinly. “Besides, kingslayers should band together. Are you ever going to go?”
Her big hand wrapped tight around Oathkeeper. “I will. And I will find the girl and keep her safe. For her lady mother’s sake. And for yours.” She bowed stiffly, whirled, and went.
—A Storm of Swords - Jaime IX
See? Jonquil Darke was Alysanne’s sworn shield as Brienne of Tarh is Sansa’s sworn sword. A sword made of Ice, literally.   
Later, when Alysanne visited the North for the first time, she met another “female knight”, a wildling girl:
Manderly also staged a small tourney in the queen’s honor, to show the prowess of his knights. One of the fighters (though no knight) was revealed to be a woman, a wildling girl who had been captured by rangers north of the Wall and given to one of Lord Manderly’s household knights to foster. Delighted by the girl’s daring, Alysanne summoned her own sworn shield, Jonquil Darke, and the wildling and the Scarlet Shadow dueled spear against sword whilst the northmen roared in approval.
—Fire & Blood
It would be no surprise if Sansa meets another female knight or warrior during her return to the North, a wildling spearwife, or a Mormont woman, or her wild faceless assassin sister Arya Stark.   
To finish with Jonquil Darke, take note that her name and surname are also references to Dontos Hollard, another character that acted as Sansa’s knight. Sansa called Dontos “Her Florian” and House Hollard was once sworn to House Darklyn of Duskendale, that are related to House Darke.
Also take a look at this color refrences:
Jonquil Darke was also known as the Serpent in Scarlet and the Scarlet Shadow.
Ser Joffrey Doggett was also known as the Red Dog of the Hills. 
Ser Dontos Hollard was also called Dontos the Red.
Only Brienne of Tarth breaks this pattern, because she was called Brienne the Blue, during his days as member of Renly’s Rainbow Guard. Wanna know who was the Red in Renly’s Rainbow Guard? It was Ser Robar Royce, son of Yhon Bronze Royce and brother of Waymar Royce, Sansa’s first crush.
But my point with all this Red/Scarlet colored references is that red is a color hugely associated with Sansa Stark, because of the red of her hair and the red of the weirwood tree. 
THE VISENYA AND THE RHAENYS 
During a discussion between King Jaehaerys I and his older sister Rhaena, these words were exchanged: 
“And Silverwing?” asked Rhaena. “Our sister—”
“—had no part in this. I will not put her at risk.”
The Queen in the East smiled then. “She is Rhaenys, and I am Visenya. I have never thought otherwise.”
—Fire & Blood
Rhaena compared Jaehaerys with Aegon the Conqueror, herself with Queen Visenya and Alysanne with Queen Rhaenys. 
This is part of a dichotomy that GRRM work with a lot: the Lady Woman Vs the Warrior Woman. A pattern that started with the Stark Sisters, and is replicated a lot in Fire & Blood with several Targaryen Sisters. Here some examples:
Visenya and Rhaenys
Rhaena and Alysanne
Aerea and Rhaella
Baela and Rhaena  
Rhaena was not exactly like Visenya and Alysanne was not exactly Rhaenys, but Rhaenys and Alysanne certainly shared a lot of similarities:
Rhaenys
Rhaenys, youngest of the three Targaryens, was all her sister [Visenya] was not, playful, curious, impulsive, given to flights of fancy. No true warrior, Rhaenys loved music, dancing, and poetry, and supported many a singer, mummer, and puppeteer. Yet it was said that Rhaenys spent more time on dragonback than her brother and sister combined, for above all things she loved to fly. She once was heard to say that before she died she meant to fly Meraxes across the Sunset Sea to see what lay upon its western shores.”
(...)
Queen Rhaenys was a great patron to the bards and singers of the Seven Kingdoms, showering gold and gifts on those who pleased her. Though Queen Visenya thought her sister frivolous, there was a wisdom in this that went beyond a simple love of music. For the singers of the realm, in their eagerness to win the favor of the queen, composed many a song in praise of House Targaryen and King Aegon, and then went forth and sang those songs in every keep and castle and village green from the Dornish Marches to the Wall. Thus was the Conquest made glorious to the simple people, whilst Aegon the Dragon himself became a hero king.
Queen Rhaenys also took a great interest in the smallfolk, and had a special love for women and children. Once, when she was holding court in the Aegonfort, a man was brought before her for beating his wife to death. The woman’s brothers wanted him punished, but the husband argued that he was within his lawful rights, since he had found his wife abed with another man. The right of a husband to chastise an erring wife was well established throughout the Seven Kingdoms (save in Dorne). The husband further pointed out that the rod he had used to beat his wife was no thicker than his thumb, and even produced the rod in evidence. When the queen asked him how many times he had struck his wife, however, the husband could not answer, but the dead woman’s brothers insisted there had been a hundred blows.
Queen Rhaenys consulted with her maesters and septons, then rendered her decision. An adulterous wife gave offense to the Seven, who had created women to be faithful and obedient to their husbands, and therefore must be chastised. As god has but seven faces, however, the punishment should consist of only six blows (for the seventh blow would be for the Stranger, and the Stranger is the face of death). Thus the first six blows the man had struck had been lawful…but the remaining ninety-four had been an offense against gods and men, and must be punished in kind. From that day forth, the “rule of six” became a part of the common law, along with the “rule of thumb.” (The husband was taken to the foot of the Hill of Rhaenys, where he was given ninety-four blows by the dead woman’s brothers, using rods of lawful size.)
—Fire & Blood
Alysanne
Queen Alysanne looked back on the short-lived glories of her father’s court fondly, however, and made it her purpose to make the Red Keep glitter as it never had before, buying tapestries and carpets from Free Cities and commissioning murals, statuary, and tilework to decorate the castle’s halls and chambers. At her command, men from the City Watch combed Flea Bottom until they found Tom the Strummer, whose mocking songs had amused king and commons alike during the War for the White Cloaks. Alysanne made him the court singer, the first of many who would hold that office in the decades to come. She brought in a harpist from Oldtown, a company of mummers from Braavos, dancers from Lys, and gave the Red Keep its first fool, a fat man called the Goodwife who dressed as a woman and was never seen without his wooden “children,” a pair of cleverly carved puppets who said ribald, shocking things.
(...)
The king’s first progress was meant to be a modest one, commencing with the crownlands north of King’s Landing and proceeding only as far as the Vale of Arryn. Jaehaerys wanted Alysanne with him, but as Her Grace was with child, he was concerned that their journeys not be too taxing. They began with Stokeworth and Rosby, then moved north along the coast to Duskendale. There, whilst the king viewed Lord Darklyn’s boatyards and enjoyed an afternoon of fishing, the queen held the first of her women’s courts, which were to become an important part of every royal progress to come. Only women and girls were welcome at these audiences; highborn or low, they were encouraged to come forward and share their fears, concerns, and hopes with the young queen.
(...)
Men oft speak today of Queen Alysanne’s laws, but this usage is sloppy and incorrect. Her Grace had no power to enact laws, issue decrees, make proclamations, or pass sentences. It is a mistake to speak of her as we might speak of the Conqueror’s queens, Rhaenys and Visenya. The young queen did, however, wield enormous influence over King Jaehaerys, and when she spoke, he listened…as he did upon their return from the Vale of Arryn.
It was the plight of widows throughout the Seven Kingdoms that the women’s courts had made Alysanne aware of. In times of peace especially, it was not uncommon for a man to outlive the wife of his youth, for young men most oft perish upon the battlefield, young women in the birthing bed. Be they of noble birth or humble, men left bereft suchwise would oft after a time take second wives, whose presence in the household was resented by the children of the first wife. Where no bonds of affection existed, upon the man’s own death his heirs could and did expel the widow from the home, reducing her to penury; in the case of lords, the heirs might simply strip away the widow’s prerogatives, incomes, and servants, reducing her to little more than a boarder.
To rectify these ills, King Jaehaerys in 52 AC promulgated the Widow’s Law, reaffirming the right of the eldest son (or eldest daughter, where there was no son) to inherit, but requiring said heirs to maintain surviving widows in the same condition they had enjoyed before their husband’s death. A lord’s widow, be she a second, third, or later wife, could no longer be driven from his castle, nor deprived of her servants, clothing, and income. The same law, however, also forbade men from disinheriting their children by a first wife in order to bestow their lands, seat, or property upon a later wife or her own children.
(...)
Alysanne remained in the Red Keep, presiding over council meetings in the king’s absence, and holding audience from a velvet seat at the base of the Iron Throne.
(...)
“I see no honor in any of this. I knew such things happened hundreds of years ago, I confess it, but I never dreamed that the custom endured so strongly to this day. Mayhaps I did not want to know. I closed my eyes, but that poor girl in Mole’s Town opened them. The right of the first night! Your Grace, my lords, it is time we put an end to this. I beg you.”
(...)
And so it came to pass that the second of what the smallfolk named Queen Alysanne’s Laws was enacted: the abolition of the lord’s ancient right to the first night. Henceforth, it was decreed, a bride’s maidenhead would belong only to her husband, whether joined before a septon or a heart tree, and any man, be he lord or peasant, who took her on her wedding night or any other night would be guilty of the crime of rape.
—Fire & Blood
As you can see, we can easily associate Sansa Stark with these shared similarities between Queen Rhaenys and Queen Alysanne.
SINGERS AND KNIGHTS 
Queen Alysanne was fond of singers and gallant knights, just like Sansa:
Three of the brothers had been singers before taking the black, and they took turns playing for Her Grace at night, regaling her with ballads, war songs, and bawdy barracks tunes. 
—Fire & Blood
Ser Simon Dondarrion
Though his castle was small and modest compared to the great halls of the realm, Lord Dondarrion was a splendid host and his son Simon played the high harp as well as he jousted, and entertained the royal couple by night with sad songs of star-crossed lovers and the fall of kings. So taken with him was the queen that the party lingered longer at Blackhaven than they had intended.
(...)
But the champion’s laurels went to the gallant and handsome Ser Simon Dondarrion of Blackhaven, who won the love of the commons and queen alike when he crowned Princess Daenerys as his queen of love and beauty.
—Fire & Blood
A young and handsome noble man that played the high harp as well as he jousted sounds like Sansa Stark’s ideal man. 
Also, the name Simon and the surname Dondarrion are very subtle references of Jon Snow, an idea that I’m developing in an unfinished meta. 
Ser Ryam Redwyne
Queen Alysanne knew in person to the famous knight Ser Ryam Redwyne: 
It was a time for celebration and celebrate they did, with a tourney at King’s Landing on the anniversary of the king’s coronation. Princess Daenerys and the Princes Aemon and Baelon shared the royal box with their mother and father, and reveled in the cheers of the crowd. On the field, the highlight of the competition was the brilliance of Ser Ryam Redwyne, the youngest son of Lord Manfryd Redwyne of the Arbor, Jaehaerys’s lord admiral and master of ships. In successive tilts, Ser Ryam unhorsed Ronnal Baratheon, Arthor Oakheart, Simon Dondarrion, Harys Hogg (Harry the Ham, to the commons), and two Kingsguard knights, Lorence Roxton and Lucamore Strong. When the young gallant trotted up to the royal box and crowned Good Queen Alysanne as his queen of love and beauty, the commons roared their approval.
—Fire & Blood
Later, Ser Ryam Redwyne served as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard under Jaehaerys I Targaryen and Viserys I Targaryen.
In Sansa’s case, while having a nightmare of the riot of King's Landing, Sansa wished to be saved by Ser Ryam Redwyne Florian the Fool, or Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but none appear:
That night Sansa dreamed of the riot again. The mob surged around her, shrieking, a maddened beast with a thousand faces. Everywhere she turned she saw faces twisted into monstrous inhuman masks. She wept and told them she had never done them hurt, yet they dragged her from her horse all the same. "No," she cried, "no, please, don't, don't," but no one paid her any heed. She shouted for Ser Dontos, for her brothers, for her dead father and her dead wolf, for gallant Ser Loras who had given her a red rose once, but none of them came. She called for the heroes from the songs, for Florian and Ser Ryam Redwyne and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but no one heard. Women swarmed over her like weasels, pinching her legs and kicking her in the belly, and someone hit her in the face and she felt her teeth shatter. Then she saw the bright glimmer of steel. The knife plunged into her belly and tore and tore and tore, until there was nothing left of her down there but shiny wet ribbons.
—A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV
The only man that effectively, but unbeknownst for her, had fulfilled Sansa’s wishes for a hero, was Jon Snow: 
Frog-faced Lord Slynt sat at the end of the council table wearing a black velvet doublet and a shiny cloth-of-gold cape, nodding with approval every time the king pronounced a sentence. Sansa stared hard at his ugly face, remembering how he had thrown down her father for Ser Ilyn to behead, wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head. But a voice inside her whispered, There are no heroes, and she remembered what Lord Petyr had said to her, here in this very hall. “Life is not a song, sweetling,” he’d told her. “You may learn that one day to your sorrow.” In life, the monsters win, she told herself, and now it was the Hound’s voice she heard, a cold rasp, metal on stone. “Save yourself some pain, girl, and give him what he wants.”
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI
“You are refusing to obey my order?” “You can stick your order up your bastard’s arse,” said Slynt, his jowls quivering. […] “As you will.” Jon nodded to Iron Emmett. “Please take Lord Janos to the Wall—” […] “—and hang him,” Jon finished. […] This is wrong, Jon thought. “Stop.” […] “I will not hang him,” said Jon. “Bring him here.” “Oh, Seven save us,” he heard Bowen Marsh cry out. The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter. Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw. […] The pale morning sunlight ran up and down his blade as Jon clasped the hilt of the bastard sword with both hands and raised it high. “If you have any last words, now is the time to speak them,” he said, expecting one last curse. Janos Slynt twisted his neck around to stare up at him. “Please, my lord. Mercy. I’ll … I’ll go, I will, I …” No, thought Jon. You closed that door. Longclaw descended. “Can I have his boots?” asked Owen the Oaf, as Janos Slynt’s head went rolling across the muddy ground. “They’re almost new, those boots. Lined with fur.”
—A Dance with Dragons - Jon II
WATER AND BREAD FOR THE SMALLFOLK
Alysanne procured clean water for the people of Kingslanding:
Queen Alysanne served each of them a tankard of river water at the next council meeting, and dared them to drink of it. The water went undrunk, but the wells and pipes were soon approved. Construction would require more than a dozen years, but in the end “the queen’s fountains” provided clean water for Kingslanders for many generations to come.
—Fire & Blood
Sansa made Joffrey gave some money to a poor woman with a death baby:  
Halfway along the route, a wailing woman forced her way between two watchmen and ran out into the street in front of the king and his companions, holding the corpse of her dead baby above her head. It was blue and swollen, grotesque, but the real horror was the mother's eyes. Joffrey looked for a moment as if he meant to ride her down, but Sansa Stark leaned over and said something to him. The king fumbled in his purse, and flung the woman a silver stag. The coin bounced off the child and rolled away, under the legs of the gold cloaks and into the crowd, where a dozen men began to fight for it. The mother never once blinked. Her skinny arms were trembling from the dead weight of her son.
—A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX
But the people was hungry and wanted bread: 
From both sides of the street, the crowd surged against the spear shafts while the gold cloaks struggled to hold the line. Stones and dung and fouler things whistled overhead. “Feed us!” a woman shrieked. “Bread!” boomed a man behind her. “We want bread, bastard!”
—A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX
Bread that Sansa would have given them, If she had it:
Tyrion called to her. “Are you hurt, Lady Sansa?” Blood was trickling down Sansa’s brow from a deep gash on her scalp. “They . . . they were throwing things . . . rocks and filth, eggs . . . I tried to tell them, I had no bread to give them”. 
—A Clash of Kings - Tyrion IX
In the Show they translated this Sansa’s line of dialogue to this one: “I would have given them bread if I had it.”  
Sansa, like Queen Alysanne, knew that love was a surer route to people’s loyalty than fear: 
“The night’s first traitors,” the queen said, “but not the last, I fear. Have Ser Ilyn see to them, and put their heads on pikes outside the stables as a warning.” As they left, she turned to Sansa. “Another lesson you should learn, if you hope to sit beside my son. Be gentle on a night like this and you’ll have treasons popping up all about you like mushrooms after a hard rain. The only way to keep your people loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy.”
"I will remember, Your Grace," said Sansa, though she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people's loyalty than fear. If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me.
—A Clash of Kings - Sansa VI
THE NORTH
Did you know that in the ASOIAF Books, Queen Alysanne is mostly mentioned in Stark POVs? Yes, she is. Queen Alysanne is mentioned by Jon, Bran, Catelyn and Sansa. You can also count Samwell Tarly in this list, because he is now a Black Brother of the Night’s Watch and Jon’s best friend. 
Jon, Bran and Samwell mention Good Queen Alysanne’s visit to the North and the Wall.
In Catelyn’s and Sansa’s case, they heard singers singing the song “Alysanne”, that according to Sansa is a sad song.  
Winterfell
In Winterfell Good Queen Alysanne met Lord Alaric Stark. A man that reminds me a lot of Stannis Baratheon:  
Alaric Stark
Alaric Stark was best left in Winterfell; a stubborn man by all reports, stern and hard-handed and unforgiving, he would make for an uncomfortable presence at the council table.  
(...)
Lord Alaric had a flinty reputation; a hard man, people said, stern and unforgiving, tight-fisted almost to the point of being niggardly, humorless, joyless, cold. Even Theomore Manderly, who was his bannerman, had not disagreed; Stark was well respected in the North, he said, but not loved. Lord Manderly’s fool had put it elsewise. “Methinks Lord Alaric has not moved his bowels since he was twelve.”
(...)
Her reception at Winterfell did nothing to disabuse the queen’s fears as to what she might expect from House Stark. Even before dismounting to bend the knee, Lord Alaric looked askance at Her Grace’s clothing and said, “I hope you brought something warmer than that.” He then proceeded to declare that he did not want her dragon inside his walls. “I’ve not seen Harrenhal, but I know what happened there.” Her knights and ladies he would receive when they got here, “and the king too, if he can find the way,” but they should not overstay their welcome. “This is the North, and winter is coming. We cannot feed a thousand men for long.” When the queen assured him that only a tenth that number would be coming, Lord Alaric grunted and said, “That’s good. Fewer would be even better.” As had been feared, he was plainly unhappy that King Jaehaerys had not deigned to accompany her, and confessed to being uncertain how to entertain a queen. “If you are expecting balls and masques and dances, you have come to the wrong place.”
—Fire & Blood
Stannis Baratheon
"Robert can barely stomach his brothers. Not that I blame him. Stannis would be enough to give anyone indigestion."
—A Game of Thrones - Bran II
"Oh, a shred, surely," Littlefinger replied negligently. "Hear me out. Stannis is no friend of yours, nor of mine. Even his brothers can scarcely stomach him. The man is iron, hard and unyielding. He'll give us a new Hand and a new council, for a certainty. No doubt he'll thank you for handing him the crown, but he won't love you for it. And his ascent will mean war. Stannis cannot rest easy on the throne until Cersei and her bastards are dead. Do you think Lord Tywin will sit idly while his daughter's head is measured for a spike? Casterly Rock will rise, and not alone. Robert found it in him to pardon men who served King Aerys, so long as they did him fealty. Stannis is less forgiving. He will not have forgotten the siege of Storm's End, and the Lords Tyrell and Redwyne dare not. Every man who fought beneath the dragon banner or rose with Balon Greyjoy will have good cause to fear. Seat Stannis on the Iron Throne and I promise you, the realm will bleed.
—A Game of Thrones - Eddard XIII
A king's first duty is to defend the realm, and Mance attacked it. His Grace is not like to forget that. My father used to say that Stannis Baratheon was a just man. No one has ever said he was forgiving." 
—A Feast for Crows - Samwell I
"A boy he may be, my lord, but … King Robert was well loved, and most men still accept that Tommen is his son. The more they see of Lord Stannis the less they love him, and fewer still are fond of Lady Melisandre with her fires and this grim red god of hers. They complain."
—A Dance with Dragons - Jon III
At this point in ASOIAF, Stannis is in the North trying to take Winterfell from the Boltons. And as Queen Alysanne melted all the ice of Lord Alaric Stark, I think Sansa could do the same with Stannis Baratheon.  Sansa would easily befriend Princess Shireen as well:    
Even a lord as stern and flinty as Alaric Stark found himself helpless before Queen Alysanne’s stubborn charm.
(...)
The longer the queen stayed, the more Lord Alaric warmed to her, and in time Alysanne came to realize that not everything that was said of him was true. He was careful with his coin, but not niggardly; he was not humorless at all, though his humor had an edge to it, sharp as a knife; his sons and daughter and the people of Winterfell seemed to love him well enough. Once the initial frost had thawed, his lordship took the queen hunting after elk and wild boar in the wolfswood, showed her the bones of a giant, and allowed her to rummage as she pleased through his modest castle library. He even deigned to approach Silverwing, though warily. The women of Winterfell were taken by the queen’s charms as well, once they grew to know her; Her Grace became particularly close with Lord Alaric’s daughter, Alarra. 
—Fire & Blood
Night’s Watch
Alysanne then decided to visit the Night’s Watch:
In the North, Queen Alysanne grew restless with waiting, and decided to take her leave of Winterfell for a time and visit the men of the Night’s Watch at Castle Black.
—Fire & Blood
Once at Castle Black she met the Lord Commander: 
Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, Lothor Burley, assembled eight hundred of his finest men to receive her. That night the black brothers feasted the queen on mammoth meat, washed down with mead and stout.
—Fire & Blood
Lothor Burley sounds pretty much like Lothor Brune, another of Sansa’s protector.
Curiously enough, Queen Alysanne had this exchange with Lord Commander Burley:
Burley was apologetic for the quality of the food and drink presented to the queen, and the rudeness of the accommodations at Castle Black. “We do what we can, Your Grace,” the Lord Commander explained, “but our beds are hard, our halls are cold, and our food—”
“—is nourishing,” the queen finished. “And that is all that I require. It will please me to eat as you do.”
—Fire & Blood
This exchange is very similar to the one between Sansa Stark and “Lord Commander” Edd Tollet during Season 6 of the Show:
Edd Tollet: Sorry about the food. It’s not what we’re known for. 
Sansa Stark: That’s alright. There are more important things. 
From Snowgate to Queensgate  
Queen Alysanne left her mark in the Night’s Watch forever: 
Above all else, a queen must know how to listen,” Alysanne Targaryen often said. At Castle Black, she proved those words. She listened, she heard, and she won the eternal devotion of the men of the Night’s Watch by her actions. She understood the need for a castle between Snowgate and Icemark, she told Lord Burley, but the Nightfort was crumbling, overlarge, and surely ruinous to heat. The Watch should abandon it, she said, and build a smaller castle farther to the east. Lord Burley could not disagree…but the Night’s Watch lacked the coin to build new castles, he said. Alysanne had anticipated that objection. She would pay for the castle herself, she told the Lord Commander, and pledged her jewels to cover the cost. “I have a good many jewels,” she said.
It would take eight years to raise the new castle, which would bear the name of Deep Lake. Outside its main hall, a statue of Alysanne Targaryen stands to this very day. The Nightfort was abandoned even before Deep Lake was completed, as the queen had wished. Lord Commander Burley also renamed Snowgate castle in her honor, as Queensgate.
—Fire & Blood
This is an action that Sansa could easily replicate as Queen in the North. House Stark was always a friend of the Night’s Watch. And as Queen in the North Sansa would probably have statues to honor her all along the North.
Also the “Snow” gate becoming the “Queen” gate gives me a lot of Jon and Sansa romantic vibes.
A New Gift 
Queen Alysanne proposed a New Gift: 
Lord Stark and King Jaehaerys would never be fast friends; the shade of Walton Stark remained between them to the end. It was only through Queen Alysanne’s good offices that they ever found accord. The queen had visited Brandon’s Gift, the lands south of the Wall that Brandon the Builder had granted to the Watch for their support and sustenance. “It is not enough,” she told the king. “The soil is thin and stony, the hills unpopulated. The Watch lacks for coin, and when winter comes they will lack for food as well.” The answer she proposed was a New Gift, a further strip of land south of Brandon’s Gift.
The notion did not please Lord Alaric; though a strong friend to the Night’s Watch, he knew that the lords who presently held the lands in question would object to them being given away without their leave. “I have no doubt that you can persuade them, Lord Alaric,” the queen said. And finally, charmed by her as ever, Alaric Stark agreed that, aye, he could. And so it came to pass that the size of the Gift was doubled with a stroke.
—Fire & Blood
Jon remembers Ned Stark’s wishes for the New Gift:
Your brothers will not like it, no more than your father's lords, but I mean to allow the wildlings through the Wall . . . those who will swear me their fealty, pledge to keep the king's peace and the king's laws, and take the Lord of Light as their god. Even the giants, if those great knees of theirs can bend. I will settle them on the Gift, once I have wrested it away from your new Lord Commander. When the cold winds rise, we shall live or die together. It is time we made alliance against our common foe." He looked at Jon. "Would you agree?"
"My father dreamed of resettling the Gift," Jon admitted. "He and my uncle Benjen used to talk of it." He never thought of settling it with wildlings, though . . . but he never rode with wildlings, either. He did not fool himself; the free folk would make for unruly subjects and dangerous neighbors. Yet when he weighed Ygritte's red hair against the cold blue eyes of the wights, the choice was easy. "I agree."
—A Storm of Swords - Jon XI
This is something Sansa would do as Queen in the North, to fulfill Ned’s wishes, either with the wildlings or northern people, or both.
Also, take note how Jon is always choosing the redhead girl over a threat to the realm and humanity... After all, Jon is the shield that guards the realms of men.    
The Wall and Beyond
Finally, to finish the North section, we have that Queen Alysanne’s reaction to the Wall and the lands beyond, is very similar to the reaction Jon Snow imagines Sansa would have to that sight:  
Her first sight of the Wall from above took Alysanne’s breath away, Her Grace would later tell the king.
—Fire & Blood
The pale pink light of dawn sparkled on branch and leaf and stone. Every blade of grass was carved from emerald, every drip of water turned to diamond. Flowers and mushrooms alike wore coats of glass. Even the mud puddles had a bright brown sheen. Through the shimmering greenery, the black tents of his brothers were encased in a fine glaze of ice.
So there is magic beyond the Wall after all. He found himself thinking of his sisters, perhaps because he'd dreamed of them last night. Sansa would call this an enchantment, and tears would fill her eyes at the wonder of it, but Arya would run out laughing and shouting, wanting to touch it all.
—A Clash of Kings - Jon III
And this passage about Alysanne ride atop the Wall from Snowgate to the Nightfort and the descending to the ruinous castle, reminds me a lot of Sansa’s descending from the Eyrie to the Gates of the Moon:  
Lord Commander Burley himself took the queen into the haunted forest (with a hundred rangers riding escort). When Alysanne expressed the wish to see some of the other forts along the Wall, the First Ranger Benton Glover led her west atop the Wall, past Snowgate to the Nightfort, where they made their descent and spent the night. The ride, the queen decided, was as breathtaking a journey as she had ever experienced, “as exhilarating as it was cold, though the wind up there blows so strongly that I feared it was about to sweep us off the Wall.” The Nightfort itself she found grim and sinister. “It is so huge the men seem dwarfed by it, like mice in a ruined hall,” she told Jaehaerys, “and there is a darkness there…a taste in the air…I was so glad to leave that place.”
—Fire & Blood
"Ser Sweetrobin," Lord Robert said, and Alayne knew that she dare not wait for Mya to return. She helped the boy dismount, and hand in hand they walked out onto the bare stone saddle, their cloaks snapping and flapping behind them. All around was empty air and sky, the ground falling away sharply to either side. There was ice underfoot, and broken stones just waiting to turn an ankle, and the wind was howling fiercely. It sounds like a wolf, thought Sansa. A ghostwolf, big as mountains.
—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II
I HOPE MY HUSBAND FALLS OFF HIS HORSE
This is just a funny parallel:
What do those “highborn ladies do whilst their lords are out deflowering maidens? Do they sew? Sing? Pray? Were it me, I might pray my lord husband fell off his horse and broke his neck coming home.” 
—Fire & Blood
Those lords Alysanne was referring to sounds very much like Harry the Heir: 
A lady's armor is her courtesy. Alayne could feel the blood rushing to her face. No tears, she prayed. Please, please, I must not cry. "As you wish, ser. And now if you will excuse me, Littlefinger's bastard must find her lord father and let him know that you have come, so we can begin the tourney on the morrow." And may your horse stumble, Harry the Heir, so you fall on your stupid head in your first tilt. She showed the Waynwoods a stone face as they blurted out awkward apologies for their companion. When they were done she turned and fled.
—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I
Sassy Queens!
A FEMALE RULER
A ruler needs a good head and a true heart. A cock is not essential. —Alysanne Targaryen
Queen Alysanne wanted a female Targaryen ruler. She really wanted it. She tried. She failed.    
This is a bit hypocrite tho... Since Alyssa, Jaehaerys and Alysanne herself wronged Rhaena and her claim to the throne, but still...
You could argue Jaehaerys and Alysanne ruled together, but despite the great influence and counsel of Queen Alysanne, she was not the ruler. Jaehaerys was. Alysanne was only the Queen consort.
Alysanne wished for her daughter Daenerys to be Queen, but Jaehaerys wanted a male heir to succeed him on the throne, so he chose his son Aemon:
“She is so clever, she will be reading to me before long,” she told the king. “She is going to be a great queen, I know it.”
(...)
Jaehaerys loved all three children fiercely, but from the moment Aemon was born, the king began to speak of him as his heir, to Queen Alysanne’s displeasure. “Daenerys is older,” she would remind His Grace. “She is first in line; she should be queen.” The king would never disagree, except to say, “She shall be queen, when she and Aemon marry. They will rule together, just as we have.” But Benifer could see that the king’s words did not entirely please the queen, as he noted in his letters.
—Fire & Blood
Alysanne also wished for her granddaughter Rhaenys to be Queen, she was the only child of the heir to the throne, Prince Aemon, but Jaehaerys wanted a male heir to succeed him on the throne, so he named Prince Baelon, Aemon’s younger brother, the Prince of Dragonstone:
Baelon, a seasoned knight of thirty-five, was better suited for rule than the eighteen-year-old Princess Rhaenys or her unborn babe (who might or might not be a boy, whereas Prince Baelon had already sired two healthy sons, Viserys and Daemon). The love of the commons for Baelon the Brave was also cited.
(...)
The most prominent dissenter was Good Queen Alysanne, who had helped her husband rule the Seven Kingdoms for many years, and now saw her son’s daughter being passed over because of her sex. “A ruler needs a good head and a true heart,” she famously told the king. “A cock is not essential.”
(...)
The queen died of a wasting illness in 100 AC, at the age of four-and-sixty, still insisting that her granddaughter Rhaenys and her children had been unfairly cheated of their rights. 
Sansa Stark has a lot of Queen foreshadowing and imagery around her and she could be the one female ruler to defeat patriarchy in ASOIAF.  
SARA SNOW
Let me tell you about a northern girl, the mysterious bastard girl from Winterfell, a wolf girl called Sara Snow:
But we turn to Mushroom to find the tales other chronicles omit, nor does he fail us now. His account introduces a young maiden, or “wolf girl” as he dubs her, with the name of Sara Snow. So smitten was Prince Jacaerys with this creature, a bastard daughter of the late Lord Rickon Stark, that he lay with her of a night. On learning that his guest had claimed the maidenhead of his bastard sister, Lord Cregan became most wroth, and only softened when Sara Snow told him that the prince had taken her for his wife. They had spoken their vows in Winterfell’s own godswood before a heart tree, and only then had she given herself to him, wrapped in furs amidst the snows as the old gods looked on.
This makes for a charming story, to be sure, but as with many of Mushroom’s fables, it seems to partake more of a fool’s fevered imaginings than of historical truth. Jacaerys Velaryon had been betrothed to his cousin Baela since he was four and she was two, and from all we know of his character, it seems most unlikely that he would break such a solemn agreement to protect the uncertain virtue of some half-wild, unwashed northern bastard. If indeed there ever lived a Sara Snow, and if indeed the Prince of Dragonstone perchanced to dally with her, that is no more than other princes have done in the past, and will do on the morrow, but to talk of marriage is preposterous.
(Mushroom also claims that Vermax left a clutch of dragon’s eggs at Winterfell, which is equally absurd. Whilst it is true that determining the sex of a living dragon is a nigh on impossible task, no other source mentions Vermax producing so much as a single egg, so it must be assumed that he was male. Septon Barth’s speculation that the dragons change sex at need, being “as mutable as flame,” is too ludicrous to consider.)
This we do know: Cregan Stark and Jacaerys Velaryon reached an accord, and signed and sealed the agreement that Grand Maester Munkun calls “the Pact of Ice and Fire” in his True Telling. Like many such pacts, it was to be sealed with a marriage. Lord Cregan’s son, Rickon, was a year old. Prince Jacaerys was as yet unmarried and childless, but it was assumed that he would sire children of his own once his mother sat the Iron Throne. Under the terms of the pact, the prince’s firstborn daughter would be sent north at the age of seven, to be fostered at Winterfell until such time as she was old enough to marry Lord Cregan’s heir.
—Fire & Blood
How is Sara Snow connected with Queen Alysanne and Sansa Stark?
At this point in ASOIAF, Sansa Stark is under the disguise of Alayne Stone, a bastard girl, like Sara Snow.  Both young maidens, and both were called wolf girls: 
The green knight laughed again. "Barristan the Old, you mean. Don't flatter him too sweetly, child, he thinks overmuch of himself already." He smiled at her. "Now, wolf girl, if you can put a name to me as well, then I must concede that you are truly our Hand's daughter."
—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I
And regarding Queen Alysanne, Sara Snow is linked with her through their husbands. 
According to Mushroom, Sara Snow married a Targaryen Prince in secret. And who was this Targaryen Prince? It was Prince Jacaerys Velaryon, the older son of Rhaenyra Targaryen, the Prince of Dragonstone, Heir to the Iron Throne.
Prince Jacaerys Velaryon was a Targaryen Prince with brown hair (Like Jon Snow). He was probable a bastard (Like Jon Snow) son of Rhaenyra Targaryen and Ser Harwin Strong, called Breakbones.
Curiously enough, Jacaerys Velaryon supposed father, Laenor Velaryon wanted to name him Joffrey (Like Sansa’s first betrothed Joffrey Baratheon, also a bastard).
Jacaerys is a traditional Velaryon name. House Velaryon is of Valyrian descent, and its members often have Valyrian features, such as silver hair, purple eyes, and pale skin. But as I said before, Jacaerys had brown hair, like Jon Snow.
Also, Jacaerys sounds like the Velaryon version of Jaehaerys. The short for Jacaerys was Jace. 
Sara Snow and Jacaerys Velaryon married in secret like Alysanne and Jaehaerys. 
Alysanne and Jaehaerys eloped because their mother planned to marry Alysanne with Orryn Baratheon (This is also parallel with Rhaegar and Lyanna).  
Jacaerys Velaryon was already betrothed with his cousin Baela Targaryen. Jacaerys Velaryon broke that vow to marry Sara Snow in secret.
These two couples Sara Snow & Jacaerys Velaryon and Alysanne and Jaehaerys Targaryen are two similar versions of Rhaegar and Lyanna, a Targaryen Prince with a Stark maiden or, in Alysanne case, a maiden that reminds us of a Stark one. All three secret marriages that broke a previous betrothal.
Curiously enough, Cregan Stark (Sara Snow’s brother) and Jacaerys Velaryon  signed “the Pact of Ice and Fire”, a pact sealed with a marriage, a marriage between the Stark Heir (Cregan’s son) with a Velaryon/Targaryen Princess (Jacaerys’ daughter).  
Under the terms of the pact, Jacaerys’ firstborn daughter would be sent north at the age of seven, to be fostered at Winterfell until such time as she was old enough to marry Lord Cregan’s heir.
That pact never happened because Jacaerys Velaryon died childless.
Mushroom said that Vermax (Jacaerys’ dragon) left a clutch of dragon’s eggs at Winterfell. This could have meant that Sara Snow (Jacaerys’ wife) was already pregnant with Jacaerys’ first child and if that child were a girl, she must have married her cousin Rickon Stark. But that never happened.
What did happen was that Jon Snow, the son of a Targaryen Prince with a Stark Maiden, was raised at Winterfell, next to his cousin Sansa Stark, older daughter of Lord Eddard Stark, with whom he can fulfill the “the Pact of Ice and Fire”. 
Rhaegar himself probably tried to fulfill “the Pact of Ice and Fire” with Lyanna Stark. And Jon Snow would be the fruit of that fulfillment, a son of Ice and Fire. 
Here you can read more about Jace & Sara.
ALYSANNE “BLACK ALY” BLACKWOOD
Alysanne Blackwood, also known as Black Aly, is not very similar to Queen Alysanne or Sansa Stark. She was a woman more like Arya Stark. In summary: Not a Lady.
But Alysanne Blackwood became the second wife of Lord Cregan Stark, wich made her Lady Stark, Lady Alysanne Stark.
RICKON STARK
Lord Cregan Stark had a son with his first wife Arra Norrey, a boy named Rickon Stark. And little Rickon sang for the new Lady Stark:
The wedding itself was said to be splendid, however; Black Aly and her wolf pledged their troth before the heart tree in Winterfell’s icy godswood. At the feast afterward, four-year-old Rickon, Lord Cregan’s son by his first wife, sang a song for his new stepmother.
—Fire & Blood
This will probably never happen, but imagine our little Rickon Stark singing for his sister-mother Sansa Stark... But our beloved Rickon is a wild wolf pup so he would probably howl instead of sing, after all: 
“The Starks know no music but the howling of wolves.” —A Game of Thrones - Catelyn V
SANSARA TARLY
If you thought that all this similar/linked names are just a coincidence, that Sara Snow has nothing to do with Queen Alysanne and Sansa Stark, now let me tell you about “more coincidences”, let me tell you about Sansara Tarly.
In Fire & Blood, during the searching for King Aegon III second wife, we meet a character named Sansara Tarly:
Perhaps the boldest letter came from the irrepressible Lady Samantha of Oldtown, who declared that her sister Sansara (of House Tarly) “is spirited and strong, and has read more books than half the maesters in the Citadel” whilst her good-sister Bethany (of House Hightower) was “very beautiful, with smooth soft skin and lustrous hair and the sweetest manner,” though also “lazy and somewhat stupid, truth be told, though some men seem to like that in a wife.” She concluded by suggesting that perhaps King Aegon should marry both of them, “one to rule beside him, as Queen Alysanne did King Jaehaerys, and one to bed and breed.” 
—Fire & Blood
Sansara is literally a combination of Sansa and Sara.
Sansara is from House Tarly, and our beloved Samwell Tarly is, what I call, a Male!Sansa:
Yes, it’s just amazing how similar Sansa Stark and Samwell Tarly are. They have a lot of common interests and they sure would be the best of friends:
Whatever pride his lord father might have felt at Samwell’s birth vanished as the boy grew up plump, soft, and awkward. Sam loved to listen to music and make his own songs, to wear soft velvets, to play in the castle kitchen beside the cooks, drinking in the rich smells as he snitched lemon cakes and blueberry tarts. His passions were books and kittens and dancing, clumsy as he was.
—A Game of Thrones - Jon IV
Sam remembered the last time he’d sung the song with his mother, to lull baby Dickon to sleep. His father had heard their voices and come barging in, angry. “I will have no more of that,” Lord Randyll told his wife harshly. “You ruined one boy with those soft septon’s songs, do you mean to do the same to this babe?” Then he looked at Sam and said, “Go sing to your sisters, if you must sing. I don’t want you near my son.”
—A Storm of Swords - Samwell III
And during a few passages in the ASOIAF Books you can read how Samwell prays to the Mother: “Mother have mercy, Mother have mercy, Mother have mercy.”, just like Sansa. 
It is said that Sansara Tarly “has read more books than half the maesters in the Citadel”. This is a direct connection to Queen Alysanne, another book lover that could have been a Maester of the Citadel; and also to Samwell Tarly who is actually studying at the Citadel to become a Maester (Thanks to Jon Snow). Another book lover? Yes, Sansa Stark.     
Sansa - Alayne - Alysanne - Sara - Sansara
What an interesting chain of names George, all of them connected, so subtle of you:  
SANSA’S bastard name is ALAYNE  
ALAYNE can be formed removing a letter S and one letter N from ALYSANNE    
SARA was called WOLF GIRL like SANSA
SARA is a bastard like ALAYNE 
SARA married in secret with JACAERYS just like ALYSANNE married in secret with JAEHAERYS (Also JACAERYS = JAEHAERYS) 
ALYSANNE “Black Aly” Blackwood married Lord Cregan Stark and became LADY STARK, LADY ALYSANNE STARK 
SANSARA is a combination of SANSA and SARA
SANSARA is from House Tarly, like Samwell Tarly who is a Male!Sansa
SANSARA is as cultured and well read as ALYSANNE (Also like Samwell and Sansa) 
GRRM chooses the names of his characters very carefully. For example, here is what he has said about the Stark Sisters’ Names:     
The names Arya and Sansa are meant to represent the polar opposites of their characters, Arya being a hard sounding name, Sansa a softer more pretty name, etc. [Source]
After all of this, if GRRM decides to name a next character of the ASOIAF Universe: ‘ALYSANSA’, I would not be surprised.  
I rest my case.  
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skinks · 4 years
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get to know me more 🍓
i got tagged by truffs @trufflesmushroom and I’m procrastinating... also I haven’t done one of these in a while so!!! here we go
🍓 what do you prefer to be called name wise?
Joe, but it’s in my bio so ppl know that already. a lot of people call me Jo irl but I can hear they’re not adding the e
🍓 when is your birthday?
06/06 which is convenient bc it’s the same in both the regular, normal configuration of months and days and also in the american one! it’s the day before Bill Hader’s which is nice. Letting me come before him. He’s so considerate
🍓 where do you live?
Scotland. east coast babey
🍓 three things you are doing right now?
packing in preparation to return my hire car tomorrow, air-drying my naked bod, procrastinating at literally everything else
🍓 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?
I kinda prefer to just enjoy various things rather than say I’m In A Fandom, or Not In X Fandom Any More, especially when my involvement never goes beyond reblogging things and reading fic. But with that said, unsurprisingly I’m still.... eyeballs deep in IT chapters 1 & 2. Reddie. There literally hasn’t been a single day since ch2’s release when I haven’t thought about it, it’s intense. There’s so much amazing art and fic and I love talking about it, plus there’s still fic I’d like to write so I’m staying put for the time being
Aside from that, I’m excited for the new Assassin’s Creed, my AC feelings always flare up with a new release. Uhh... horror movies in general... I’m stoked for Barry s3, Tenet, The Green Knight, idk man between clown stuff and travelling I haven’t been paying attention to much else. OH I’m super interested in what Ben Wheatley does with the next Tomb Raider movie 👀
🍓 how is the pandemic treating you?
I’m extremely fortunate that I’ve been in New Zealand for the whole thing and it was handled very well. I spent lockdown with relatives out in the countryside hiking and biking and walking dogs, so I really can’t complain. I’m the fittest I’ve been in like 12 years
🍓 song you can’t stop listening to right now?
omg so many... I have one playlist on repeat whenever I’m driving but “He’s There... And Then He Does THAT” by Toehider really fucks
🍓 recommend a movie.
how can I pick one ugh.... Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes. I could say Mandy or Paper Moon or The Fall but I feel like Alpha got overlooked
🍓 how old are you?
26
🍓 school, university, occupation, other?
uni dropout, ex-farm hand 😔 soon to be job-seeking
🍓 do you prefer hot or cold?
HOT. HOT WEATHER, eternal summer, endless heatwave pleaaaase I’ve had enough chilly windy scottish bullshit to last a lifetime
🍓 name one fact others may not know about you.
I believe in aliens but I don’t believe in ghosts
🍓 are you shy?
my social anxiety is leagues better than it used to be, I have no problem talking to strangers or on the phone etc but I don’t know about talking in front of an audience. Idk. Haven’t had any reason or inclination to try
🍓 do you have any preferred pronouns?
she/her
🍓 any pet peeves?
people who don’t shut up during movies holy shit I didn’t pay to hear your running commentary. people who drive slow as fuck until the part of the road you can overtake and then they speed up??
🍓 what’s your favorite “dere” type?
I don’t know what any of them mean except for tsundere!!!!
🍓 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.
maybe a 7 rn
🍓 what’s your main blog?
it’s this one lmao [grinch voice] you put your glasses back on and face the hyperfixations
🍓 list your side blogs and what they are used for.
@fyeahedgechronicles for the Edge Chronicles book series and @merhymn is a colour blog. both very inactive
🍓 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?
I’m so bad at keeping regular communication! 😬 I ghost people for weeks and months sometimes but I don’t mean anything by it, it’s just that if I don’t feel like I’ve anything worthwhile to say or contribute then I don’t say anything at all bc I feel like I’m bothering people. I love my friends but sometimes I forget that just because I don’t mind weeks of incommunicado it doesn’t mean everyone is cool w/ that
tagging @thewintermusketeer @benevolentbridgetroll @shrikestrike @iwritesometimes @greymichaela @wordssometimesfail @rockcandyshrike @meremeduse @pohjanneito @lemon-wedges @djtookutz
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vamp--dad · 4 years
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This year marks ten years since I started cosplaying, I wanted to whip out the baby pictures and put together a timeline. Some faces have been censored or cropped cause these are from a LONG time ago. There's a few cosplays that haven't made it in here since I'm limited to ten photos, I wanted to stick to home made ones, and some I couldn't find photos of (rip Wheatley, Evil Jack Frost, Fenris, Carver, Sidon, Yancy, and probably more)
From ages 13/14 - 23
Characters are as follows
Older Luke/Clive - Professor Layton (retired) age 13
Allen Walker out of uniform - D. Gray-man age 14/15
Jack Frost - Rise of the Guardians (retired) age 15/16
Princess Zelda - LoZ Twilight Princess (retired) age 15/16
Link - LoZ Hyrule Warriors age 15/16/17
Allen Walker Crown Clown -D. Gray-man age 16/17
Leon Kuwata - Danganronpa (retired) age 16/17
Chat Noir - Miraculous Ladybug age 19
Zack Fair - Final Fantasy VII age 23
Aaravos - The Dragon Prince age 23
You can almost pinpoint where I began to transition, started to get more skilled, and when I started feeling more confident
My first "big" homemade cosplay was Zelda, that one really took a lot of work, was the first one I started sewing for, and the first time I made armour. To this day is one of the only female characters I've ever cosplayed as! Really shoulda figured out I was trans sooner huh
My first con was Telford MCM, rip. Pour one out for Telford MCM 🙏🙏
My favourite cosplay is currently Robin, though he's not on here.
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scannain · 7 years
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The New Music is a new Irish feature film currently in post-production. The film aims to shine a light on Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease, a rare and little known condition which affects people under fifty.
Young Parkinson’s Ireland, which was set up in 2016, suspect that there may be at least 500 undiagnosed sufferers of Young Onset Parkinson’s in the country. Sufferers who may be reluctant to come forward due to a self or socially imposed stigma as Parkinson’s Disease has been traditionally seen as a “old person’s” disease.
The film, which is written and directed by Italian native Chiara Viale, follows the struggles of Adrian, a young gifted musician , who leaves home and heads to Dublin in an attempt to deal with the news of his diagnosis. Despite this debilitating condition, Adrian (played by Dublin-born actor Cilléin McEvoy) joins a punk band as a keyboard player and rediscovers his life through music and friendship.
Filming was completed at the end of 2017 and the production team have launched a crowd-funding campaign to reach out to the public to help them fund the post-production expenses of the film – editing, sound, music, marketing and festival entries. 20% of all funds raised will go directly to Young Parkinson’s Ireland in addition to all future income from the film.
Scannain caught up with Viale to talk about about her background in film and her motivations for making The New Music
Chiara Viale- Writer/Director of The New Music
How did you originally get involved in Filmmaking? I started writing when I was very young and I have always been passionate about cinema. After finishing my BA in English in foreign language and literature I moved to Ireland and joined the Dublin Filmmakers Collective where I developed my first scripts and had my first on-set experiences. At the same time, I started developing my own independent projects: in 2016 I produced, wrote and directed my first short film Be Frank which was nominated for the Rising Star award at the Underground Cinema Awards in 2017. Also in 2017 I produced, wrote and directed the short Clown and produced the short Clear The Air  which are currently in post production.
And what brought you to Ireland? I’ve been in love with Ireland since I first visited as a teenager. After secondary school I spent a year in Dublin working as an au-pair to improve my English. I had always entertained the thought of coming back to Ireland and I finally moved to Dublin in 2015. I am in love with the creative atmosphere that can breath in this country and the extraordinary people I met along the way. I don’t believe my dreams and aspirations could find a better place than Ireland to become a reality.
Where did the core idea for The New Music originate? My approach to writing is strongly related to feelings and emotions and more often than not the concepts of my stories are born through an image, which conveys a certain feeling. The New Music is no exception: I imagined a character who is lying to himself and the people he cares about and although he knows that these lies can ruin everything he has and loves, he can’t stop. Telling the truth is simply too hard for him to handle, because it would force him to face his own fear.
I envisioned a character with an incurable illness which he hides from everyone and that is eating away at him from the inside. Then I created a starting environment for him that would completely clash with the situation he finds himself in and I imagined something to cure his fear and give him a new prospective on life. This is a film about friendship and it shows that help can often come from people who are not necessarily trying to understand, but who show a way out of suffering by simply being a good, reliable influence.
I wanted to create a story with believable characters dealing with issues that everyone experiences sooner or later in life. I wanted to paint a picture of Dublin exactly as it is right now, and how it is to live in a shared house where everyone forgets to buy toilet paper or to get lost using the Dublin map. I wanted to tell the story of all the people who are trying to make art and music here while coping with our money-controlled society.
What is your connection to Young Parkinson’s , why did you choose this particular condition? Adrian is a pianist and his talent is expressed through the use of his hands. I wanted his illness to target his ability to play and after a short research, I discovered Young Onset Parkinson’s, a rare form of Parkinson’s that affects people under the age of 50. Parkinson’s is widely considered a disease that affects the elderly, and I was surprised to learn that lots of young people all over the word are suffering from it.
At this early stage I decided that The New Music had to be about this illness and it could contribute to raise awareness and shine a light on this condition.
Together with Philip Kidd (Producer, Director of Photography, Editor) we decided to contact the Parkinson’s Association of Ireland, who put us in touch with Young Parkinson’s Ireland, with whom we’ve been working with ever since. Representatives of Young Parkinson’s Ireland read and approved the script at pre-production stage and we are currently developing the film in association and close contact with them. At the end of 2017 we started a crowdfunding campaign to cover the post-production expenses of The New Music, 20% of which is being donated to Young Parkinson’s Ireland. Furthermore, we will donate any future income of the film to this association and use the film for charity purposes.
I also have a very close personal experience with rare diseases as my father passed away in 2013 after having MSA (Multiple System Atrophy) a rare neurological disease for which, like Parkinson’s, there is no ultimate cure. In this script I dealt with feelings that my family and I experienced first hand. I also attempted to give my interpretation of what someone afflicted by an incurable disease might feel, and how the ensuing feelings and behaviours impact everyone around them. I hope that The New Music will have the power to bring people together and create a space where these issues can be discussed, as well encourage a conversation around both living and dealing with rare diseases.
Munky- Irish Punk Band
So obviously music plays a huge part in the film, can you tell me more about that? The second constitutive element of my writing has always been music. I consider it a huge source of inspiration and The New Music is fulfilling my dream of writing a story that revolves around music from beginning to end.
In the last few years I’ve been influenced a lot by punk music as a genre but mostly in terms of lifestyle and attitude. The film itself was produced with a strong DIY mindset and the narrative arc of the main character freely represents my own discovery of punk music as a form of liberation and a way to fully express myself artistically. During the writing process I’ve been influenced by bands such as Bomb The Music Industry! , The Smith Street Band, Fugazi, Black Flag, Bad Brains, The Menzingers and Bangers.
Music is the passion shared by all the main characters of the story and it permeates every scene. It firstly represents the desperation felt by Adrian, then it slowly becomes what carries him through the darkness towards the light and a new version of himself. The film shows two types of music that are usually considered opposites: classical and punk. Both play a huge roles in the film and find a way to merge together as the two diametrically different spheres of Adrian’s life find a meeting point. Grand pianos, dusty rehearsal rooms, microphones and wires, music shops and gigs; everything in this film is about music and the love that each character has for it in their own way.
The film features two original songs composed by Zachary Stephenson of Munky and we are currently putting together a soundtrack made of both classical and punk music, featuring mostly unsigned independent artists such as Bangers, Müg (UK) , Antillectual( Netherlands) and Checkpoint, Forgotten Soldier and Declan Byrne who are all from Ireland. Shit Present ( UK) and Irish act Givamanakick are in talks about coming on board.
What are your cinematic influences? I’d imagine Italian cinema plays a big part? I grew up without a TV because my parents were against having one in the house, but we used to have a VHS player attached to a monitor, strictly used to watch films together. Both my parents loved cinema, and I remember watching italian classics of directors such as De Sica, Rossellini, Scola and Tornatore. I also watched cinema classics with my grandparents. I became an avid reader at a young age and soon I started writing my own stories for my friends to read. I took inspiration from books, comics, Japanese cartoons that I would watch with my friends and music. One of my first dream jobs was to write for music videos.
It took a few more years for me to develop a proper taste for cinema, but to this day the vital element of a film to me is still storytelling. I love those films that tell a story the same way as I wish I did, that put an accent on the psychological development of characters and can capture me emotionally. Directors such as Krzysztof Kieślowski, Anton Corbijn, Gus Van Sant, Nicolas Winding Refn, Tony Richardson, Jeff Nichols and Ben Wheatley have been a major influence on me both narratively and aesthetically.
Are there any Irish filmmakers at the moment that you are interested in? I love Jim Sheridan’s films and Martin McDonagh as a filmmaker (and playwright). I also really enjoyed the productions made by Cartoon Saloon. There are a good number of Irish films that I watched through the years and that really stuck with me, such as: Inside I’m Dancing, I Went Down, The Commitments, The Wind That Shakes The Barley, Breakfast On Pluto and Once. I am looking forward to Mark O’Rowe’s The Delinquent Season.
Look out for the trailer for The New Music which is out in the coming weeks. You can follow the cast and crew on their social media channels below and most importantly if you want to donate to the cause just click here.
Follow the film’s progress on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.
Cilléin McEvoy – lead
Chiara Viale- director
    The New Music- Upcoming Irish Feature shines a light on Young Onset Parkinson's Disease The New Music is a new Irish feature film currently in post-production. The film aims to shine a light on Young Onset Parkinson's Disease, a rare and little known condition which affects people under fifty.
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myauralove-blog · 7 years
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1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Baby Liam
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Outgoing if I know you, shy if i feel intimidated or you’re new to me
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? mjum, sister, brothers
4. Are you easy to get along with?
I’d say so, unless I feel super threatened by you I’m the nicest person everrrrrr
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? ummm no
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Legit assholes and that pretty much sums it up. nah intelligent, witty, funny, confident but not cocky, articulate, class clowns
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I’d rather not
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? JD, JW.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nah. Ask me anything.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Megan
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Cant wait to see you.
12. What are your 6 favorite songs right now? Unforgettable - French Montana
Thunder - Imagine Dragons
XO Tour Lif3 - Lil Uzi Vert
I like me better - Lauv
There for you - Martin Garrix
Know no better - Major Lazer, Travis Scott, Camilla Cabello
13. Do you like it when people play with your? You better be reaaaal gentle bro
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes, just not for myself
15. What good thing happened this month? Rekindled a friendship with Hayley, Lots of fun with Griff & Vato, Lots of drunk fun with Megan, had sex watching the july 1st fireworks hahahahhaahahah
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes.
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Ya.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? hahah ew
19. Do you like bubble baths? So much
20. Do you like your neighbors? The ones across me, yes. Other people around - no. Fuck them.
21. What are you bad habits? Trusting too easily, revealing too much, spending money, eating junk
22. Where would you like to travel? Italy, France, Southeast Asia, Scotland, England, Ireland
23. Do you have trust issues? Yessssss, but I trust too easily too.
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? eating, laying in bed at the end of the day
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? boobs that arent there, stomach that is fat, nose, googly eyes, teeth
26. What do you do when you wake up? Go back to sleep lollll, get anxiety, want to smash my alarm, stretch
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Tanner
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Megan, sister, mum, zane
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Joel lolll why’d ya cheat then
30. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe.
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? hardly. can never decide if I want it long or short so i just keep cutting it ? 32. Which celebrities would you have sex with? Ashton Kutcher and Ansel Elgort omg
33. Spell your name without vowels - scrltt jwl vn
34. Do you play sports? What sports? ew no
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Thats hard neither
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? All the time
37. What do you say during awkward silences? The wrong thing 99% of the time
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Finds my quirks endearing, intelligent, witty, funny, sexy, loves my body, loves my humour, is interested in what I have to say, is interested in my life, basically they have to be obsessed with me
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Online - PLT, Peppermayo, Boohoo
40. What do you want to do after high school? im 24 lol take me back to when i was actually facing this question
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? im so sensitive and emotional so yes. but if theyve had 2 second chances then no
42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m hurt, trying to read your mind or off my head
43. Do you smile at strangers? If they look like a kind stranger
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? fuck that ill stay on dry land thanks
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Alarms, anxiety
46. What are you paranoid about? Being played, laughed at or talked about behind my back
47. Have you ever been high? Ya
48. Have you ever been drunk? is that even a question
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? um yes
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Blue
51. Ever wished you were someone else? KYLIE JENNER UH YEA
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? eyes, pasty skin, boobs, my stupid anxious mind, my stupid big heart
53. Favourite makeup brand? BYS, Maybelline
54. Favourite store? Kmart for sure
55. Favourite vlogs? Shani Grimmond, Michael Finch, Skye Wheatley, Tammy Hembrow
56. Favourite colour? Green, tan and pink
57. Favourite food? Pizza, Pasta
58. Last thing you ate? Mars Bar Icecream
59. First thing you ate this morning? Banana and honey toast
60. Ever won a competition? For what? Haha like never. Raffles, Jellybean in a jar guessing,
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? In school suspension. Cant even remember what for. Plenty of detentions
62. Been arrested? For what? Yeeea. Punching a cop. Didnt go on my record though so all good lol
63. Ever been in love? Twice.
64. Tell us the story of your first proper kiss? hahahaha year 6. Was 11. Being forced at a park by his sister, me standing on a skateboard because he was so freakishly tall for an 11 year old and legit missed his mouth the first time
65. Are you hungry right now? I’m full af but always
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No. wtf i have 1 follower on this account
67. Facebook or Twitter? FB.
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr.
69. Are you watching tv right now? No. Listening to music
70. Names of your friends? Megan, Ebony, Vato (Tony), Griffo (Tyrone), Yoshi
71. Craving something? What? I dont know... Him
72. What colour are your towels? All Sorts
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? lol no
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 2 that ive had since i was a baby that sit on my top cupboard shelf
75. Favourite animal? Dogs, Seals, Elephants
76. What colour is your underwear? Pink.
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Choc
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint Choco
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? White
80. What colour pants? Pj Pants
81. Favourite tv show? Of all time - Riverdale, Friends, catfish, crazy ex gf
At the moment - The middle, modern fam, ex on the beach,  yummy mummies ahahah
82. Favourite movie? Best of me, The choice, life as a house
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls!
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls.
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Gretchen
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Nemo duh
87. First person you talked to today? Dad
88. Last person you talked to today? Dad
89. Name a person you hate? The bitch whoever my ex is sleeping with
90. Name a person you love? My ex, my family, my dog, all 50 of my babies at work
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nah?
92. In a fight with someone? No.
93. How many sweatpants do you have? A WHOLE LOT.
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? too many
95. Last movie you watched? Shark Tale
96. Favourite actress? Rachel Mcadams, Cameron Diaz, Isla Fischer, Katherine Hiegel, Amy Smart 
97. Favourite actor? Leo, Ashton Kutcher, Owen Wilson, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell
98. Do you tan a lot? Noooo
99. Have any pets? Oaks
100. How are you feeling? Tired, Blank, Distracted, On edge
101. Do you type fast? yes
102. Do you regret anything from your past? hahahhha yuh.
103. Can you spell well? Very well.
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? LJ (LM)
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? maybe?
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes
108. What should you be doing? Nothing.
109. Is something irritating you right now? That its almost tomorrow, my hairs faded, he doesnt give a fuck about me
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yesyesyesyes
111. Do you have trust issues? I answered this already.
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? On the phone to my mum
113. What was your childhood nickname? Scar, Bubble
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes.
115. Do you play the Wii? When I go to Eb’s
116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes. Currently Playing not going home - DVBBS
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes.Homemade
118. Do you like Chinese food? OMG. YES.
119. Favourite book? You - Caroline Kepnes
120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yes and no
121. Are you mean? No.
122. Is cheating ever okay? No. No No NOOOOOOOOO
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? NO lol
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? hmmm starting not to
125. Do you believe in true love? Yes.
126. Are you currently bored? Kinda.
127. What makes you happy?
Kenji, My fam, Alcohol, Food, Music, Tv, Holidays, Money, New clothes
128. Would you change your name? Nah.
129. What your zodiac sign?
Aries, what yours?
130. Do you like subway? yum yes
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? He did and now he doesnt and treats me like im nothing
132. Who’s the last person you had a laugh with? Griffo, Hayley, Powelly and Ziggy
133. Favourite lyrics? So I will run Until my feet don't touch the ground And as the waves carry me out Keep listening She'll never make a sound
134. Can you count to one million? No wtf ive got time but not that much time
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? sickies for work?
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed,open when im home alone
137. How tall are you? 5 something
138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight.
139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette.
140. Summer or Winter? Both, can never decide
141. Night or Day? Night.
142. Favourite month? March or December
143. Are you a vegetarian? No.
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk.
145. Tea or Coffee? Both
146. Was today a good day? It was okay.....
147. Mars or Snickers? Mars atm
148. What’s your favourite quote? Anything by Beau Taplin
149. Do you believe in ghosts? YES.
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? No that’s too far, but I’m reading gone girl atm
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golockhart · 8 years
Text
2017: The year ahead in cinema
by Ari Mattes
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There have been some good films already released in 2017. Robert Zemeckis’ Allied, for example, is a compelling WWII espionage drama made in Zemeckis’ seamless style starring the equally seamless Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard. The Edge of Seventeen and La La Land are far more interesting films. Both are structured around sweetly formulaic narratives – a fish out of water teen drama in the case of The Edge of Seventeen, and a bittersweet romantic musical in the case of La La Land – but the style of both films clashes with their narratives, to create a productively dissonant effect in the viewer.
The Edge of Seventeen – shot in Canada – is replete with bleak suburban images, shot in a subdued palette under grey light and overcast skies, with the feelgood story often at odds with the tone of the image. The frequent use of wide angle lenses in La La Land – which distort straight lines, creating an effect of disassociation for the viewer through their disruption of conventional perspective – similarly ground against its straightforward nostalgic narrative.
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Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in La La Land. imdb
So what other movies are in store for 2017? Here are some of the ones to look forward to – or not.
The smaller films
Let’s start with some of the smaller films. Moonlight, a coming of age film about the life of a young, black man in a tough Miami neighbourhood looks like a searing drama – if a little overly “actorly.” It is a topical film, too, given the explosion of racial tension in the US over the last few years. A Dog’s Purpose, directed by Lasse Hallström – the excellent director behind The Cider House Rules (1999), The Shipping News (2001), and Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (2009) – follows the reincarnation of the spirit of a dog through various breeds, which is a sufficiently bizarre premise to draw my attention. The Red Turtle is a similarly low-key film about an animal – it follows the story of a shipwrecked man who befriends a giant red turtle.
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The Red Turtle. imdb
Other low-key releases that look promising include Detour, the latest film from the British horror-thriller director Christopher Smith; Lost in London, written and directed by Woody Harrelson starring Willie Nelson and Owen Wilson (and, yes, Woody Harrelson); Get Out, a satiric horror film about black-white relations in the US; Table 19, the new comedy from the hit and miss Duplass brothers, featuring a wonderful premise – a table at a wedding for the guests everyone hoped wouldn’t come; Raw, a French-Belgian horror film about a vegetarian college student who becomes a cannibal; My Cousin Rachel, an adaptation of the Daphne du Maurier novel starring Rachel Weisz; and The Snowman, a crime thriller based on Jo Nesbø’s novel starring Michael Fassbender who, one suspects, will be as watchable as ever.
There are, of course, several big budget films coming out, some of which look good.
Kong: Skull Island, starring woman of the moment Brie Larson and man of the moment Tom Hiddleston – both first-rate actors – looks like the kind of spectacular film worth seeing on the big screen, as does the science fiction thriller Ghost in the Shell, the live action version of the cult anime that generated controversy through its casting of Scarlett Johannson in an Asian role. Guy Ritchie will probably approach the Round Table story in King Arthur: Legend of the Sword with his usual verve, given he is a master of (at least visually) arresting cinema.
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Brie Larson and Tom Hiddleston in Kong: Skull Island. imdb
The director and star of the razor-sharp thriller Unknown (2011) – Jaume Collet-Sera and Liam Neeson – reunite in The Commuter, another Neeson vehicle about a “regular” guy who becomes embroiled in a world of mystery and violence. Why not retread the same steps? The formula, virtually invented by British novelist John Buchan’s Richard Hannay novels, makes for pleasurable cinema. I’m likewise excited about The Coldest City, a spy thriller set in Berlin, and Free Fire, an action film from one of the best contemporary directors, Ben Wheatley (Kill List, A Field in England), starring Brie Larson again.
Two films based on Stephen King novels also look good – The Dark Tower with its fantasy-Western story, seems perfect for a large-scale adaptation, and It, about killer monster-clown Pennywise – one of King’s great novels – is finally being made for the big screen after its success as a TV miniseries in 1990.
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Bill Skarsgård in It (2017). imdb
Flatliners and Blade Runner 2049 – sequels that have been decades coming – both look like they may have been worth the wait. The follow up to Joel Schumacher’s grim film of 1990, Flatliners, is directed by Niels Arden Oplev (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) and features an appealing cast, including Nina Dobrev, Diego Luna and Ellen Page. Blade Runner 2049, starring Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford, has generated a lot of hype. We’ll see if it lives up to it.
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Harrison Ford will return in Blade Runner 2049. imdb
Comedies that may be of value include Baywatch – weirdly enough, made by critically acclaimed documentarian Seth Gordon. It will be mandatory viewing for everyone who watched (and loved) the 1990s TV show that quickly gained a reputation as the epitome of cheesy Los Angeles trash. Another Adam McKay/Will Ferrell pairing, The House, is based on a suitably absurd premise involving people down on their luck turning their house into a casino. Downsizing, starring Matt Damon and Kristen Wiig, and directed by Alexander Payne, is likewise based on a solid comedic premise – a husband and wife decide they will have a better life if they shrink themselves, but the wife pulls out after the husband has gone through with it.
The blockbuster franchises
2017 will see the release, as usual, of new entries in several blockbuster franchises. As expected, many of these look (and surely will be) unspeakably dull: is anyone really excited about another Pirates of the Carribean or Transformers film? Will Resident Evil: The Final Chapter really be the final chapter in a series that has only ever been worth watching for the (interesting) disconcerting effect poor film making can have on the viewer?
Spider-Man: Homecoming, Logan, War for the Planet of the Apes, Thor: Ragnarok and Star Wars: Episode VIII similarly promise little. If The Lego Movie (2014), one of the most ideologically repellent mainstream films of recent years, is anything to go by, then I’m not looking forward to the two (!) Lego films scheduled for release in 2017: The Lego Batman Movie and The Lego Ninjago Movie.
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Vin Diesel in xXx: Return of Xander Cage. imdb
I am, however, very excited about two sequels coming soon: xXx: Return of Xander Cage, and Fifty Shades Darker.
The original xXx offered a masterclass in staging slick action sequences, perfectly combining visual effects with breathtaking stunts. It is still Vin Diesel’s finest film, with his role as the brawny, extreme sports-loving, buffoon-come-secret agent perfectly in tune with his physique and macho celebrity persona. Diesel was the action man for the Mountain Dew generation. The sequel, xXx 2: The Next Level, saw Ice Cube take the lead and was not nearly as effective.
Fifty Shades of Grey was an uneven film. The first half was Hollywood at its delightful best, with beautiful stars making hackneyed dialogue seem electric, bringing an enchanting quality to material that is hokey in the extreme. The heightened first encounter between the business guru Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), for example, and the suitably absurdly-named college student Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), made for ecstatic viewing.
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Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades Darker. imdb
Much of the film’s hypnotic effect was due to its location – Seattle – and cinematograoher Seamus McGarvey’s astonishing photography of the city. The score – an uncharacteristic one for Danny Elfman – likewise helped make the film (at least at first) an engrossing experience. Once the hypnotic gloss wore away as the story developed, the film became tedious, its supposedly “risque” material more comic than erotic.
The sequel, however, promises a great deal. It is directed by James Foley, the truly superb filmmaker behind two late 20th century masterpieces At Close Range (1986) and Glengarry Glen Ross (1992). Foley’s detached, clinical style should fit the melodramatic aesthetic of the series perfectly, bringing a rigour and precision to the direction that was absent from the first film.
Other potentially exciting releases in major series include Fast & Furious 8 – the first since the death of Paul Walker, perhaps explaining surprises in the cast like Charlize Theron and Helen Mirren (!); Alien: Covenant, the sequel to Prometheus (2012); and Saw: Legacy, the eighth Saw film which only makes the “will see” list because it is helmed by virtuosic horror film makers, the Spierig Brothers (Undead 2003).
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Michael Fassbender in Alien: Covenant. imdb
Those that don’t inspire confidence
At the same time, there are several films I’m looking forward to missing altogether.
Patriots Day, based on the Boston bombings of 2013, though made by a competent director (Peter Berg), and starring a more than competent actor (Mark Wahlberg) looks like thoroughly repellent, pro-American nationalist rubbish – what one would expect from the pairing behind Lone Survivor.
There is a great deal of excitement surrounding T2 Trainspotting, but, I’m sorry to say, I don’t share this. Danny Boyle has always been an at best ho-hum director – Shallow Grave (1994) was brilliant, Slumdog Millionaire (2008) embarrassingly bad – and I found the original Trainspotting (1996) film, labelled “edgy” by some, alternately pretentious and silly. Boyle has done nothing in the years since Trainspotting to make me think its sequel will be different.
I would similarly suggest avoiding the thriller Unforgettable – it stars Katherine Heigl, who is the top actor in Hollywood at picking bad films.
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Demetrius Shipp Jr. in Tupac biopic All Eyez on Me. imdb
CHIPS, another film re-exploiting TV material that wasn’t great to begin with, doesn’t look very good. The Tupac biopic All Eyez on Me might have some enthused, but real life biographies seldom make good films (with some exceptions, for example, Auto-Focus) for the simple fact that “life” is usually not conducive to cinematic formula, with the result that biopics often seem uneven and dissatisfying.
Midnight Sun is another entry in the teenage-lovers-one-of-whom-is-sick genre that has (perversely) become so popular in recent years, though this one, starring Patrick Schwarzenegger, may have some value as a curio.
The new Jumanji, Fist Fight, The Great Wall, Tulip Fever, Wilson, Wonder Woman, The Mummy, Dunkirk, Victoria and Abdul and Justice League are similarly not inspiring much confidence in me.
The eagerly anticipated, regardless …
There are some films promising little that I am nonetheless eagerly anticipating.
Power Rangers will be worth seeing for the sheer weirdness. The toys weren’t very good, neither was the cartoon series, and the film of 1995 was woeful.
The Boss Baby involves an acutely strange premise for an animated film, and features the voices of strong comedic actors Alex Baldwin, Steve Buscemi and Lisa Kudrow. The Emoji Movie, likewise animated, sounds painfully relevant to contemporary media culture.
There’s every chance Sofia Coppola’s latest film, The Beguiled, will be a dud – but it will probably be an interesting dud nonetheless – and the same thing holds for the new film Logan Lucky from the un-retired Steven Soderbergh, who has directed some great films throughout his career, in addition to plenty of shockers.
Geostorm is Jerry Bruckheimer-produced, global warming, adventure-disaster nonsense, and Murder on the Orient Express, directed by Kenneth Branagh, will probably be the usual self-indulgent nonsense that Branagh tends to make, which is, after all, rather enjoyable.
Ari Mattes is a Lecturer in Media Studies at the University of Notre Dame, Australia.
This article was originally published on The Conversation.
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