#and did not want Abby to know

[chloesimaginationthings]

An important FNAF question, why is Michael purple?

[sleepytownzzz]

something different….? i don’t know if i like it though 😮‍💨

[renecdote]

I’m gonna need Tommy to put his hand on Buck’s cheek at least one (1) time for the tenderness but also for ex-girlfriend parallel reasons

[ioannemos]

every now and then i glance at fanfic that i know is gonna be really weird just to like. reset my brain a little. there are people out there who not only thought of this, they actually wrote it and then they posted it online for anyone to read. i mean they put their name on it and everything. they allowed comments. God bless em

[eltehdork]

Watching central park is fun when youve watched shows that are bad and see concepts handled by them handled so much better

[corpsesoldier]

I don't find ellie's motivations during tlou2 that opaque tbh. like yeah the revenge quest drags and you're exhausted at the end of it and tired of witnessing the bloodshed. I'm pretty sure that's the reaction the game is trying to draw out of you (I died during the confrontation on the beach because I didn’t want to choke abby so I stopped mashing buttons lmao). but ellie's determination to see it through is, I think, another expression of her survivor's guilt.

I think ellie is, fundamentally, someone who is living in the blank pages past the end of her story. riley gets bitten and ellie doesn't die. tess gets bitten, sam gets bitten, and ellie doesn't die. she thinks she has a chance to create a world where that won't happen anymore, to anyone, but joel saves her and she doesn't die. she's left to navigate the aftermath with no sense of purpose. she's just supposed to keep going, and she's doesn't know how.

and then joel is killed in front of her and ellie doesn't die. again. everyone I've cared for has either died or left me. everyone fucking except for you. ellie struggles with what joel did to and for her, and ellie is allowed to leave him, because she knows joel won't ever leave her. she thought she had time to come back to him. to figure out all that out. she hadn't forgiven joel yet, but she wanted to try. and then suddenly all that possibility is gone.

I think the revenge quest is partly a way for ellie to align herself with joel posthumously. now that she doesn’t have the option to heal and grow her relationship with the living joel, she engages instead with his legacy. we know the kind of man joel is (was?), and so does ellie—violent, vengeful, often selfish. the kind of man that regards the necessity of violence with equanimity. in joel's absence, ellie molds herself in his image. this is what joel would do, she thinks. if it had been me, she thinks.

and that's to say nothing of the sunk cost of killing more and more of abby's friends on her quest to find abby herself. once you've hunted down one, two, three people who pose you no threat, once you've tortured someone, once you've killed a pregnant woman, what does that make you if you stop now? what does it mean if you decide you don't need to kill abby after all? if abby's death is not absolutely necessary, then what of the violence leading up to it, and the person executing said violence? even if ellie felt early in her revenge that she wanted to stop, that it wasn't worth it, she wasn't ready to confront the reality of what she had done. framing her revenge as necessary let her pretend she was the hero a little longer.

and I think part of the reason she persists as long as she does is because of her lack of purpose, and, frankly, her desire to die. again, fundamentally, ellie lives. even when she doesn't want to. even when she doesn't believe she deserves to. she can't save riley, she can't save the world, she can't even save joel who, regardless of the tenor of their relationship at the time, is a foundational pillar of ellie's life. so what can she do? maybe this one last thing. ellie's own life, her own happiness, isn't important. it was her death that was supposed to be important, but she woke up and it had passed her by. now she's got a cosmic debt she can never repay. I don’t think she expects to come back from seattle, but she also can’t stand to let down someone she cares about again, even if it's only their ghost. what’s her life in the blank endpapers worth compared to another failure?

and ultimately she lets abby go. because she sees lev. she sees abby turn away from her entirely because her boy needs her. and because ellie remembers joel as he was after the bloodshed, the kind of man he was trying so hard to be for her. there's something there about what we leave our children. something about the kind of person you become to protect them, and about the kind of person they really need, and where those modes diverge. what kind of father is abby? what kind of father does ellie want to be? joel at the end of tlou, bloodied, lying to her? or joel standing on his porch in jackson, waiting for when she's ready to come back?

[munamania]

and is there not just generally a certain level of decency that would make you like ease up on a person who's obviously more than a little frazzled i am sorry that i cant process all my feelings and regurgitate them to you in an easily digestible manner while im actively In a situation or have a prepared disclaimer about how im so sorry but im just overwhelmed and need you to leave me alone right now or whatever else maybe i just dont know maybe i cant tell you exactly what im feeling or need and if i have to figure it out and explain that to you my brain is going to explode. but you could read the room. is there not a point where a friend would probably just go oh okay let me not continue pushing this person let me take a moment to reflect on their state and perhaps try to ease that or at least not keep fucking pushing on it. and also maybe not choose these moments to make otherwise innocuous but contextually just kinda meanspirited jabs. ok whatever

[whydoifeelthisquiet]

I’m still so mad that my classmate went out of her way to block my instagram and that she potentially got it taken down … the worst part is that I thought she seemed like a really warm, genuine person ??? And I never interacted with her account at all ??? I just looked at it????

[heartyearning]

not trying to get at this person specifically and to an extent i understand that this movie could be polarising but anyway none of that is impt i just. i know i rage on letterboxd one liners so often but this is the disease of star power and let me be clear i suffer from it as much as anyone but this concept of person > character (by which i mean: celebrity character created by media maintained by audience and made personal by fan > story and functional element of the media engaged with) is crazy. it's fucking crazy. can't exactly remember who started this trend but wasnt it that shakespeare actor in the 18th/19th century who put special effects in his costume anyway he was a bitch and when you get to heaven you can tell him i said so

[morgana-pendragon]

expanding on some of the lore i mentioned in the tags of that poll, i didn’t remember that i was out to my friends in high school until sometime during 2020 when a friend brought it up and i guess i had just repressed so much of high school that i was taken aback that he knew that i liked women and i just figured i must have said it in a group chat at some point 😭

and Also my first day on campus at uni, that same guy and another friend from high school came to my room to meet my roommate and like help me unpack my shit and before i moved in my roommate and i exchanged instagrams and she’s very masc presenting so my friend was like “she looks like she’s gonna fuck you” and i was like 🫣

anyway back to my original point when she got to the room to meet up with me we sat on our beds (she had brought a friend [/fuck buddy? i’m still not sure. that’s a whole other story actually]) and like discussed boundaries and stuff and she was just really worried that i would invite a guy over (and she was EXTRA worried that i’d have sex on her bed?? 😭 i was like Girl. i am not going to do that) and i just blurted out “i won’t be bringing ANYONE to the room” and she kinda squinted and went 🫳🏽 are you.. yknow 🫳🏽 and my two guy friends were like yeah haha she’s bi and i looked around like who the FUCK told y’all that and i can only assume the culprit is ME

[hellfireeddiemunson]

hey did u guys know…..that i…..love abby anderson

[aberooski]

It's astounding how one thing can ruin your entire day and destroy your entire emotional state.

[crazysnor1ax]

oOOOoooOo?

[iamanartichoke]

Me: *been on a Whose Line binge via the CW*

Me: *goes to work yesterday, forgetting to turn the tv off*

The CW: *streams forever, doesn't even check if you're still watching/interested/alive*

The CW: *considers Whose Line and Sleepy Hollow to be similar content*

Me: *returns home during the middle of episode 3 of the first season of Sleepy Hollow (aka the only season that actually exists, such a shame it ended after that)

Me: *gets sucked in, finishes out the season as well as the first episode of season 2 bc cliffhangers*

Me: *falls in love with Ichabod Crane all over again*

Me: *falls in love with Abbie Mills all over again*

Me: *falls in love with the idea of Ichabod and Abbie falling in love*

Ichabod and Abbie: *exist in the same space, have so much chemistry that the show could consist of each of them reading portions of the phone book and it would be crackling with energy and slow burn ust*

Whoever Was Responsible For The Dumpster Fire That Sleepy Hollow Became from seasons 2.5-4: *laughing maniacally, keeping Ichabod and Abbie apart*

The show: *fucking kills Abbie goddamn it fucking fuck I will never be over this injustice*

Ichabod: "Moving on," but life has no purpose without Abbie and neither does the show, so -

The show: *turns into a dumpster fire that gets worse and worse until it's finally put out of its misery via mercy killing* *is cancelled*

Me: *crying for what could have been*

Me: WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL

Me: So many feeeeeeeeeels.

My cat, witnessing my crisis: O_O

Me: I wonder how much Sleepy Hollow fic there is.

Me: .... I wonder how much good Sleepy Hollow fic there is.

Me: ..... Anyway I guess I'll start Whose Line over.

[sotogalmo]

7:06

Thinking of how I'm having my version of FNAF movie Cassidy being (somewhat) like Kit from the IDW comics👍💥

[munamania]

wish i could properly express the torment of being in a creative major and knowing that you can definitely get good grades and pass without putting your all into it but that doesn’t mean you’re getting what you need to ‘deserve’ your degree but it’s also exhausting because everything you do involves thought and analysis and requires some level of personality and charm and it’s so. tiring. and you can’t do mindless work. like you can but then you feel bad for not like. actually putting proper effort in. you don’t get the satisfaction of doing a really good job if you don’t. and there’s no oo boy here’s a memorization worksheet i get to turn in for points and i know i actually did well on. like. god.