#and die again and again and again every subsequent second because there wont be a single moment i’m not listening to it

[medicine-and-molly]

i’m such a slut for 1989

[texanredrose]

What did Roman do to in dnd?

L I S T E N

It’s early in the morning for me when we play DnD. I have to wake up around 0430, get a few things done, hopefully don’t zone out/fall back asleep, and eat breakfast before the 0600 (my time) start. 

Today, while we were waiting for @kambiteydragon to finish a WoW raid, shenanigans began. First, @theunredeemable posted a picture of what another session’s screen looked like due to shenanigans, and I started complaining because there were 8 dicks drawn on the map. (Subsequent investigation proved there were 11 dicks on the map; the longer I looked at the map, the more dicks I found.) There were two other things on the map: a duck and Solaire. Now, while I was giving Roman shit for the lack of creativity over the bouquet of dicks, @mistfather drew a duck on our game in one click of the mouse. Which, honestly, was impressive and creative. This duck became the Duck of Doom. Then, a second duck was drawn, and I realized that this meant a goose needed to be drawn, because Duck, Duck, Goose.

And this, my friends, is where things began to spiral.

You see, while Kandar drew a goose based off Untitled Goose Game, Roman was talking about how Elsssa would Chaos Bolt everything, as she’s wont to do. The wires in my brain became crossed and I started to laugh. Because, for some reason- a reason known only by the powers in Heaven, Hell, or both- I smashed these two things together and produced Chaos Goose. It’s like Chaos Bolt, except instead of a bolt, a goose flies towards the target.

I said this out loud, to share the insanity.

And that’s when we lost all semblance of control. May day, may day, we dove headfirst into the deep end.

Roman, enamored with the idea of Chaos Goose, began suggesting a subclass called “Goose-mancer”. Naturally, I couldn’t let a subclass have only one unique spell.

So, here’s a list of some spells a Goose-mancer can use.

Chaos Goose, 1 bonus action, 60ft range, instant, shoots a goose at a target. The goose remains active for 3 turns and attacks the first target it hits regardless of if it's conscious or not. Chaos Goose has an AC of 15 with advantage against attack rolls and hits +9, 2d8+4 damage on hits, half damage on misses. Chaos Goose, if its original target is rendered unconscious, will continue to attack unless something else attacks it. Chaos Goose will attack the nearest PC if all enemies are unconscious or destroyed.

Geesageddon, 1 action, 120ft range, duration 1 hour, calls forth a dark cloud 50ft in diameter centered on a spot of your choice. Anything directly beneath the cloud is subject to the relentless attacks of several flocks of geese. Ignores AC. Damage: 6d10.

Healing Goose, 1 action, 60ft range, 10 minutes, summons a goose to fly in a circle. All friendly creatures able to hear its honks are healed 2d10. If Healing Goose is the target of a spell or attack, Healing Goose stops healing and does 2d10 psychic damage to enemies who can hear its honks of rage.

Duck Duck Goose, 1 action, 120ft range, 1 hour, verbal, summons a flock of ducks with 3 geese hidden among them. Every turn, roll a d6. On evens, the 3 geese target random enemies (never the same one) and attack with +5, 2d6+3 damage. On odds, the ducks fly in random directions and sow confusion, all characters except the Goose-mancer have disadvantage on ranged attack rolls.

Then, the question was posed: which class would the Goose-mancer be a subclass of?

I, naturally, said Sorcerer, as it’s a wild magic deviant if I ever saw one, but then thought better of it. The power of the goose cannot be contained. The goose is a subclass of every class.

Goose Barbarian - honks for a battle cry Goose Bard - all spells require honking Goose Cleric - prays to the Goose Goose Druid - calls upon the power of the goose Goose Fighter - trained in the relentless fury of the goose Goose Monk - trained in the focus perseverance of the goose Goose Paladin - all smites are replaced with honks (as in, Branding Honk) Goose Ranger - goose familiar Goose Rogue - sneak attack replaced by sneak honk Goose Sorcerer - goose magic Goose Warlock - goose patron Goose Wizard - goose school

Then, I made some more spells.

Goose Of Death 7 necromancy Casting Time: 1 action Range: 60 feet Components: V S Duration: Instantaneous Classes: Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard You send forth a goose filled with negative energy to attack a creature that you can see within range, causing it searing pain. The target must make a Constitution saving throw. It takes 7d8 + 30 necrotic damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A humanoid killed by this spell rises at the start of your next turn as a zombie that is permanently under your command, following your verbal orders to the best of its ability. It can only understand honks.

Find Goose 2 conjuration Casting Time: 10 minutes Range: 30 feet Components: V S Duration: Instantaneous Classes: Paladin You summon a spirit that assumes the form of an unusually intelligent, strong, and loyal goose, creating a long-lasting bond with it. Appearing in an unoccupied space within range, the goose takes on a form large enough to bear you. The goose is a celestial, fey, or fiend (your choice). The goose can only understand the direction to attack; all other communication must be in honks, which it will likely ignore. Your goose serves you as a mount, both in combat and out, and you have an instinctive bond with it that allows you to fight as a seamless unit. While mounted on your goose, you can make any spell you cast that targets only you also target your goose. When the goose drops to 0 hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. You can also dismiss your goose at any time as an action, causing it to disappear. In either case, casting this spell again summons the same goose, restored to its hit point maximum. While your goose is within 1 mile of you, you can communicate with it telepathically. You can’t have more than one goose bonded by this spell at a time. As an action, you can release the goose from its bond at any time, causing it to do what it wants. You cannot regain control of it.

Goosedance cantrip divination Casting Time: 1 action Range: Touch Components: V S Duration: Up to 1 minute Classes: Cleric, Druid You touch one willing creature. Once before the spell ends, the target can honk and roll a d4, then add the number rolled to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the ability check. After the ability check, the target must attack one creature within 5ft while honking in rage. The spell then ends.

Then I realized, there had to be other animals to balance the power of the goose.

Meanwhile, Roman and Kandar began filling the tomes of the many goose-related fiction out there, like Goose Souls, Goose Fantasy 7, Resident Goose 3: Gemesis. Video games, movies, TV shows- all were touched by the goose. (Where in the World is Carmen Sandigoose?)

Today marks the first Honkening.

How many more will pass before the goose finds you?

[ravenschmaven]

GIVE US THE STAR WAR SPOILERS

like, all of em??

because, if so

HERES THE WHOLE DAMN FUCKING FILM UNDER THE CUT

We open to poe dameron about to fuck up a ship called a dreadnought - which is HUGE - because the rest of the rebellion is trying to evacuate. he cals hux, pretends he has no signal, makes a yo mama joke then begins blowing up the surface guns so that the ship cant destroy the bombers who are on their way to smash the ship.

leia tells him not to do the thing, he ignores her, blows up all the guns, and summons the bombers, which are these huge bulky things which move at a snails pace while tiefighters and x-wings fight around them. all but one of the bombers blows up, and the last bomber is able to drop the payload because of an asian officer we later realise is rose’s sister. rose’s sister is one of the many who die, with about five x-wings making it back. The rebellion goes to warp, finn wakes up and asks ‘where’s rey’.

Rey is exactly where we left her. she gives the lightsaber to luke, who yeets it over the edge and goes ‘fuck that shit im out’. she annoys him into accepting that she isn’t moving, then she plays the chewie card, and chewbacca trashes the shit outta the place. luke finds out han is dead, and FINALLY gets his head oudda his ass. Wont teach rey tho because kylo ren is a punk bitch who ruins everything. We see flashes of a flashy wristwatch. luke mentions kylo being a shit and talks about what happened. apparently luke confronted him about the darkness and ren went batshit. r2d2 also swears at luke repeatedly for a few seconds.

somewhere between snoke spends like five minutes roasting kylo ren and calling him a shithead while dressed in a gold bathrobe. ‘you have too much of your father’s heart’. ren smashes his helmet against the lift (rude) and yells at two officers to get his ship ready. hux is peacocking around like an asshole.

 while that happens leia gives poe shit for going ahead with a mission that got people killed. Leia HITS POE. LIKE FUCKING SMACKS HIM. (rian post ur address i just wanna talk) and then demotes him for doin his job??? even tho he aint really doing his job. poe is mad as fuCK. Leia has another flashy wristwatch which is actually a tracking device so rey can find the rebellion. she gives it to finn.

We drop out of warp, and everybody is seemingly chill until the first order rocks up literally 30 seconds later, including snoke, who has his own ship like an asshole. People panic, the first order, including kylo ren, attacks, and blows up the launch bay, killing every pilot except poe and a few others, and the bridge, which holds all the generals including leia. leia uses the motherfucking force to fly through space, and makes it back to the ship. she falls into a coma, where vice-admiral/general/mauve murder baby takes charge. her idea of saving everyone is to use their remaining fuel supply to stay just out of range of their gunners, which gives them about 16 hours left.

finn wants to save rey’s life so tries to sneak out, but gets caught by rose, who’s sobbing over the loss of her sister because they dont even get time to MOURN YALL. rose sees him as a hero, then talks about how shes caught 3 deserters, then realises finn is kind-of-deserting, then stuns him. finn wakes up in a trolley and explains the situation (lack of fuel, we’re all gonna die, they tracked us through warp) and rose figures out how they could track the fleet through warp.

if finn leads rose to the weird tracking thingo, she can disable it and save the fleet. the dynamic duo go to poe, whos confused and is really trigger happy and i dont like it, but he agrees that its a good idea. They ask maz how to break in, she says shes busy, and tells them to find this gambler guy with a red flower pin at Space Vegas. the team keep the plan under wraps, with only poe, finn, rose, and a few other officers knowing about the trip. finn, rose and bb8 leave, finn having given poe the tracking device thingy to poe.

Back at it again on depression island and rey is attempting to annoy luke into teaching her. We see the weird tiddy creatures, chewy eats some porgs and rey connects with the force and finds the ancient jedi texts in a funky looking tree. lukes asks who she is and why shes here, she says shes scared of the awakening and has no idea what to do. luke decides to get his act together and teach her.

the day he goes to teach her, rey’s chillin in her room and has a vision of Space trash panda - aka kylo ren - rey calls him a shithead and ren is confused as to how they’re talking, then rey freaks out and shoots the illusion, much to the chagrin of the caretakers (who look like my grandmother). rey lies to luke when he asks about the hole in the wall.

jedi lesson number one is to reach out and feel the force. after telling luke that being a jedi is about moving rocks and breaking shit, and being called a dumbass, rey sits on a rock and shows off a shittonne of power, but also a rising dark side (the motif of this film seems to be that the stronger u get the stronger the good/evil bitchfight) which makes luke panic because ‘this was what ben was like!!!!!!!!!!!! oh no!!!!!!!!!!’ luke get ya head oudda yo ass. its also revealed that luke has shut himself away from the force somehow.

the dynamic duo is in space vegas (they illegally park on a beach) and are walking through the casino and looking for Rose Brooch Guy. rose hears a noise and recognises it as the noise of some funky lookin animal which they use to race. finn says this place is great and asks why rose hates it. rose shares her backstory as the daughter of people who lost so much under the first order. its implied that rose joined because of what happened on starkiller base. she also talks about how everyone here sells weapons to the first order and gets rich off of it. bb8 does his damn job and finds red flower guy, but they get arrested for illegally parking the shuttle on the beach and dont get a chance to talk to the guy, whos gambling with two women on his arm.

one of the support ships runs out of fuel and gets exploded. I think its the medical one first. doesnt matter shit explodes and nobody cares.

JEDI LESSON #2: the jedi suck shit. the jedi are failures and luke keeps talking about it. talks about how he failed kylo ren. rey goes that there seems to be a light inside him (ew) somewhere near here. somewhere throughout the film are a few more force-vision things. one when its raining on Jedi island, one when Ren has no shirt (he looks like a ken doll) and another (the final one) when ren talks about his perspective of that night when luke confronted him.

rose and finn get thrown in space vegas prison, and are angrily yelling abt the problems with their plan when their roommate says ‘hey yeah i can break into a maximum security first order vessel’ then subsequently breaks out of prison. while rose and finn escape, bb8 bashes a few guards over the head and kicks ass.

Rose and Finn end up in the stables of those weird elephant-horse-camel creatures, and start a stampede with the help of the child slaves stable hands by using rose’s secret rebellion ring to prove theyre good guys. the animals seem to have a connection w/rose so i guess shes incredible. the dynamic duo are trapped between a clifface and the cops, and there’s a second where the pair say their ‘goodbye’s before a ship pops up with bb8 at the door going ‘get in bitch we’re going shopping!!!’ with the thief guy from before.

uuuh i think this is where support ship #2 goes because poe picks another fight saying that the new leader is running away and being a coward. she kicks him off the bridge.

rey explores the upside down dark force place on her own, and asks the dark force to show her her parents (I shit u not) it doesnt work and she tells this to kylo’s weirdass force ghost as she sits next to a fire. rey pleads w/ kylo to join the light one last time, and holds out her hand. fingertips touch and then luke fuckin rips the hut to shreds with the force. rey and luke fight, rey continuously pushing for the truth and luke confesses to, for a second, wanting to kill ren, and it was that second of weakness that led to all of this. rey thinks that ren can be saved and fucks off to Snoke’s Party Palace, where ren currently is. She takes the falcon and leaves luke behind.

poe starts a fight with the new leader while leia’s in a coma as the rebels abandon ship for the escape pods. he takes over and locks himself in the bridge to buy finn and rose more time. finn and rose have to barter with the codebreaker by giving him the only piece of her sister rose has left (a matching pendant with huge yin-yang vibes). finn calls him an asshole. the ship that they’re flying on belongs to somebody who sold weapons to both the first order and the resistance.

rey gets chewie to drop her off @ the Party Palace and is immediately captured by Ren and gets brought to Snoke. Snoke - still in the bathrobe - is pleased and brags about how his master plan is brilliant. turns out hes the reason there was a connection between them, AND the reason for the raging struggle in kylo ren. this bitch then fucking starts torturing rey for into on where the fuck luke is, rey aint a snitch so doesn’t say shit, but makes a few attempts at killing snoke. 

finn, rose, bb8, and randomass thief guy sneak onto the ship and wear disguises (including bb8, who is in an upside down trash can) to get to the tracking device thingy. however, bb8 is very unusual and attracts the attention of the first order version. thief guy uses rose’s necklace to crack open the lock, then gives it back. aww. but then they get caught by first order just as rose is about to break the tracker. not so aww. captain phasma shows up and finn is ready to start swinging.

poe’s locked down the bridge, and c3p0 is being a whiny shit and starts panicking when somebody starts lasering the door down. poe gets ready to shoot a bitch, but hesitates when he sees that it’s Our Lady and Saviour Leia. she, however, doesn’t hesitate and shoots him w/ something that causes him to go flying and knocks him out (???????)

on the rebellion ship, leia is talking to purple-hair lady - poe is being lifted into a shuttle - when purple-hair lady reveals that she’s going down w/ the ship so that the shuttles can escape. they say may the force be w/ u and leia looks longingly out the window @ her not-gf. poe wakes up, and leia explains the Master Plan. purple-hair lady knew about the tracking and had them rock up to this particular place because there’s a whole fucking planet nobody talks about that used to be a base.

rose and finn have been captured and are paraded thru the loading dock. the codebreaker sold information to the first order about the shuttles, and the ship begins firing on the shuttles.

WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULAR SPACE FIGHT FOR SOME ANGSTY ISLAND BOI. luke goes to torch the tree where the jedi books are kept when yoda shows up (really bitch), asks wtf hes doing, then sets fire to the tree himself. theres some weirdass yoda speak of which i understood none of it but was about how failures are good teachers too (what is this motivational speaker month)

and back at it again at space fight the musical

Snoke’s still throwing rey around, then pushes her against a window so she can see the rebellion dying. he takes her/luke’s lightsaber, places it next to him, then tells kylo ren to kill her. snoke is revelling in rey being helpless, and starts monologuing kylo’s actions. ‘he turns the blade to face his true enemy’ luke’s blade shofts so it faces snoke ‘and slays his true enemy!’ a schwing, and snoke is literally a kebab. ren uses the force to DRAG THE LIGHT SABER THROUGH SNOKES FUCKIN ABDOMEN, CUTTING THAT PASTY BOI IN HALF. he gives it to rey, and then they fight snoke’s guards. its cool, there’s some teamwork, rey throws somebody in an oversized paper shredder. ren uses luke’s light saber at the end.

purple-hair lady sees that they’re going after her people and does possibly the coolest thing i’ve ever seen: she points the ship directly @ the bigass ship, and warps THROUGH IT. because there’s so little fuel, she doesn’t make it to actuasl warp, but is going fast enough that its an incredible battering ram which rips apart the ship, saving the lives of finn and rose, who are about to be executed. 

the floor breaks and they’re about to get outta there when phasma’s squad rocks up. one of the first order machines takes out most of the stormtroopers, and the pilot turns out to be bb8 (yeah, dont worry, rose and finn are confused too), and he distracts them as finn and phasma face off. the floor collapses and phasma falls in. byeeeeeee

rey and ren have won, everythings on fire, and ren decides that the best way to get a girl to join your side of the moral spectrum is to tell her that her parents are drunkards buried in paupers graves (damn, all those amazing lineage theories and they go with randomass power………… sad) and that the past should burn, the rebellion should die, all of it. he holds out his hand, and rey holds out hers SIKE shes taking the lightsaber and they’re basically standing there using the force when, really, some dumbass could just, yknow, GRAB IT. they are so ~evenly matched~ that luke’s lightsaber cracks down the middle, exploding and knocking them out.

NOW WERE GOING TO THE PLANET THINGY (god it never ends) where finn and rose make a dashing entrance and are almost killed because its a first order ship but poe hears them and calls off the gunfire (then immediately asks ‘WHERES MY DROID’ and honestly? i love). theyre surrounded by not-pokemon evolutions which are better than porgs. the rebellion gets a message sent to their allies (none answer. god thats worse than a groupchat) and then realises they’re sitting ducks because there’s one way into this base on the schematics and the first order is fuckin knocking.

hux finds ren on the floor, who blames rey for the death of snoke (bitchassliar) and claims the title of supreme leader, then goes after the rebellion. the first order has super polished weapons and the rebellion only has skimmers, which are the fancy version of skateboards with nerf guns like they are severely fucked. the first order also has a gun which they use as a battering ram.

when ren sends tie fighters out there, rey and chewie swoop in on the flacon and smash all of em (bless). the ground fire, however, gets almost all the skimmers. poe orders a fall-back, but finn doesn’t listen and goes straight for the cannon, a la poe at the beginning. rose, however, swoops in last second and stops him. when finn asks why, she says that the rebellion will win by saving what they love. she KISSES HIM. then falls into a coma.

all hope is lost until the OG BITCH, THE ONE THE ONLY LUKE SKYWALKER IN THE HOUUUUUUUUSE enters like its nbd. He holds leia, kisses her forehead, gives her a trinket from the falcon (two lil gold dice which i honestly thought were dreidels), then goes ‘bitch i got this’ and just stands in the middle of the battlefield doing the equivalent of the middle finger at ren, who loses it. hux tells him to #chill, and when its revealed that luke survived all that firepower, ren goes down to do it himself.

finn wants to step in, but poe realises its a distraction, and notices that the sparkly bois arent here, so there must be a natural exit somewhere. up above, rey is using the tracker to try and find them. 

outside, we figure out that ren is still a punk bitch and gets beaten by luke repeatedly. luke apologises for letting him down. ren goes on about destroying everything. luke calls him a dumbass. talks about rey being the next Jedi.

the rebels find the exit, but, lo behold, its covered in rocks. what does rey do like a fucking badass? move the damn ass rocks. FINNREY REUNION BITCHES. its cute. its v cute. theres a hug.

ren goes in for the kill. luke doesnt die. he stabs luke in the goddamn chest. luke is ACTUALLY A FORCE PROJECTION SIKE BITCH. luke fades away as the rebels escape on the falcon. the remains of whatever weirdass connection remainging between rey and kylo ignite one last time, but rey literally shuts the falcon door in his face (fuck that bitch)

the first order storm the empty base, hux is bein slim shady as fuck, ren finds the not-dreidels on the ground, which flicker out too.

cut to jedi island! luke is watching the sun go down, he smiles, cut to leia and rey pulling a face, and BAM Luke dies. hes gone. poof. his outfit blows away in the wind.

poe and rey FINALLY meet. ‘im poe dameron’ ‘im rey’ ‘i know’ finn is looking after rose (when finn grabs a cloth you can see the jedi books in the same drawer), and starin right @ her. leia sits next to rey, and they talk about luke dying. it’s not a sad death, rey says, but a peaceful one. it was his time, leia goes on. rey looks around at the twenty ish people who make up the rebellion now, and goes ‘how tf do we do this now’

CUT TO slave animal trainer baby in Space Vegas. kid has the ring and looks up at the stars. is holding a broom like a lightsaber as leia talks about hope as a spark which is slowly growing.

cut back to group shot from inside the falcon.

fin.

[jaggedl1ttlepill]

apathy. platitude. empty calories. my stuffed snoopy sitting next to me on my bed.

i feel kind of dead, like nauseous and regretful and tired and biting and angry in a way that's been kicking for so long and is now starting to die into a pathetic sad mess of what it used to be

i don't want to leave my room, i don't want that door to ever open, i dont want the sun to rise, i dont want to eat anymore.

i know its a borderline platitude at this point to say im sick, but i think ive moved into a kind of hospice for myself now

there's no getting better to look forward to, because even the thought of getting better seems uninviting

im tired in a way that goes beyond my body; im tired like ive been kicking and pushing and holding my head above water for a really long time and im ready to stop now

like plague dogs

how long could he go before he gave up hope that he'd be okay?

how long before he stopped kicking?

whatever it is, ive reached it. im ready to be done now, to just lay down in bed and never wake back up again. in a way, the idea of dying is calming, but it's the same kind of calm that 12 year old me felt hanging on to the other side of the rail on the deception pass bridge.

in the middle of the night with nobody else around, the yellow of the streetlamp like a hand on my shoulder and the black of the night like a blanket. i should've been able to hear the water but in my headphones were my friends, my only confidants, the only people in the world who i felt like loved me.

i should've let go.

would've saved me a hell of a lot of trouble.

in a way, its comforting to know that the black blanket of my room is the same blanket that cared for that little 12 year old when she was riding her bike however many miles from home that bridge was, albeit aged a few years. it's comforting to know that while i wasnt ready then, im ready now. it wont hurt anymore.

im being dramatic, and i know that, and rest assured to anyone reading this that ill still be there tomorrow, alive and kicking and not paying attention. it just helps to explain it a little, to rant in a much-too-long diary entry, even if my diary is public for you all to find, read, and tell the counselors about. c'est la vie. at the very least, maybe itll help with the impostor syndrome (but probably not).

i envy the healthy-minded. i want to know what it's like to be floral, to be only sixteen, to wear short sleeves unashamed and to have made it through elementary school without signing up for mypr0ana.c0m. i want to be someone who's never made that bike ride, who's never stared down at the deception pass currents and imagined themselves falling and cried the whole way home because a song came on that reminded them of their little brother and they couldnt do it. but im not, and i never will be. instead i have a good taste in music and have empty plastic shells of pencil sharpeners tucked away in random spots of my room.

my room. way to come full circle. i dont ever want to leave, and yet every second i spend in here seems to mock me, as if it's saying 'look, you're just as bad as you were back then. i thought you were getting better? i thought you swore you'd never get like this again?'

i can offer no rebuttal.

i can only focus on my room itself, the messy comfort, the only thing i really have control over. its mine, at least, and it smells like incense and iron and it's forgiving. it gives me somewhere to hide from the neverending bite of those subsequent and consequent phrases forever looping in my mind. bo burnham, you tragic, beautiful bastard. if only you could turn around and see me cowering in the corner of the very same boat.

well, well, look who's inside again?

[moayoub1]

How to go Island Hopping in Thailand – Review of 4 Islands Tour, Krabi

When people consider Thailand, they consider exotic islands and excellent beaches. the maximum amount as I loved exploring Bangkok on my five-week house sit, I knew I wanted to experience the more salty, sandy side of Thailand.

I plan to stay in Ao Nang, Krabi because it appeared like an honest launching off point for all the tropical islands within the Andaman Sea. Ao Nang features a sleepy beach town vibe. It’s the right place to hold out and teach online while visiting nearby islands on my days off.

So I arrive in Ao Nang and it’s awesome. I relax at the beach for each day and stuff my face at Jungle Kitchen, aka the best Thai restaurant of all time. within the evening, I mount Viator and flick through the various tours and excursions. There are numerous to select from.

There are dozens of tours by longtail boat or speed boat getting to fantastic, exotic locations just like the Phi Phi Islands, Hong Island, and a few places called Bond Island. All the photographs look so beautiful they can’t be real. I start an inventory of places I would like to ascertain and anxiously count the times until my rental is up.

Even with a month in Ao Nang, I’ll be cutting it close. Then I see a tour that catches my eye called 4 Islands. This tour goes by longtail boat to (you guessed it) four different islands around Ao Nang. and every one of these islands was on my list. “Four birds with one stone!” I say aloud to nobody especially and high-five myself.

For about $20, the 4 Islands Tour includes snorkel gear, transfer to and from my apartment, and a lunch buffet. I immediately forced entry into an excited sweat, as lunch buffets and that I have an extended and delightful, albeit sometimes dodgy history. you would possibly remember that a lunch buffet was directly liable for me passing out on the Bangkok Skytrain. Still, a lunch buffet, just like the Taco Bell drive-thru or the reptile room at your local zoo, maybe a place where I feel I am often my true self.

I book a spot on the four islands tour for the subsequent morning. “Four Islands are better than one,” I chuckle while watching the sunset, sipping the wine I got from the 7/11.

How to Go Island Hopping in Thailand with the 4 Islands Tour

In the morning, a white songthaew truck picks me up at the market near my house. After collecting people at a couple of hotels and hostels, we drive about five minutes out of town to the pier. At the pier, we are sorted into our groups supported which tour we are taking. there are a restroom and place to shop for snacks at the pier but we don’t wait long before we are loaded into our long-tail boat.

The long tail boat sounds something sort of a lawnmower, a lawnmower you build yourself using only parts from an early 1900’s rattler. I’m sure our sweet guide is telling us fascinating facts about all the historical and geological sites we were passing as we flew across the ocean, but all I hear is that the roar of the engine and therefore the crashing of waves on the hull.

The first stop on the 4 Islands Tour: Tup Island

We pull up within the shallow waters of Tup Island in our long tail boat. The guide drops two ladders on either side of the boat and that i alight into the knee-deep seawater in what I’m sure may be a graceful display of athleticism.

Tub island may be a postcard. Clear blue seas, brilliant white sand, soaring rock formations and plush jungle call at the center of nowhere. it's a sandbar connecting two nearby islands which you'll walk along during low water . Unfortunately, the tide was too high during our time here so I didn’t get to ascertain if the neighboring island was actually as perfect because it looked. I paddle around within the water then lay out on my towel just a touch too on the brink of the water. A wave washes up covering me and my towel, so that’s the top of my towel for this trip. (Later, i might study the almighty Sarong. It’s made from thinner material, it makes an excellent beach blanket and it dries faster than a terry cloth towel. And you'll tie it around your body all glamorous-like on your walk home!)

I walk back and forth up the tiny strip of beach and appearance in the least the various boats. The time flies by. Forty-five minutes later it’s time to urge back within the boat so I wade bent the ladder and heave myself on board, dripping wet. I hang my droopy tower over the side of the boat and choose that i'm okay with being a salty drippy mess for the remainder of the day.

Heck, maybe the remainder of my life. If this is often the worth of living in paradise, so be it.

Second Stop on the 4 Islands Tour: Chicken Island

I wonder where chicken island got its name. Any guesses? We circle chicken island a couple of times so everyone could get an honest picture of the famous chicken head rock formation, then our guide stops the boat a couple of hundred feet from shore. He tells us this is often the simplest place to travel snorkeling on the tour. After a couple of quick warnings about not dropping our snorkel gear ( alternatively we’ll be fined) and not stepping on sea urchins (or else we’ll die), he tosses the ladders into the water and a-snorkeling we go.

I’ve never snorkeled before.

In the water, I fumble with the mask, realizing I definitely haven’t worn one among these since i used to be in secondary school playing sharks and minnows in my neighbor’s above-ground pool. a pleasant non-snorkeling couple the boat snaps several photos of me and that i learn that there's absolutely no thanks to look good with a snorkeling mask on your face. Then I dip my head under the water.

I don’t know what i used to be expecting. i do know people love snorkeling, but I never thought it might be this… spectacular. One second, I see the planet above water – the boat, the chicken rock, the great photography couple waving and snapping pictures. I move my head down three inches under the water and therefore the world explodes in color and lightweight .

It jogs my memory just like the aquarium at my childhood doctors office crammed with exotic fish, apart from these fish are right ahead of my face, and this aquarium is endless. a couple of feet below me may be a reef where fish of each color and shape weave in and out between corals. I see sea urchins and tiny crabs and every one the opposite things I wont to teach my students about during the ocean unit of science class.

It’s a mixture of everything – the fragile little parrot fish that swim right up to my mask and appearance me within the eye. The way the sunshine from above dances across the colorful coral. The silence. I knew all this was here, but I never really got it until that moment.

This earth is so precious. the items in it are so spectacular. And I’m sure we don’t even know the half it.

Third Stop on the 4 Islands Tour – Poda Island

At Poda Island, it’s time for lunch. because the guide lays out the spread of curries, vegetables, and rice, we all eagerly wait around during a circle, not unlike vultures. Never one to “take it easy” at a lunchtime buffet, I pile my plate high and smile sort of a beach monkey who just stole someone’s iPhone X.

Poda Island is that the largest of the Islands on the tour. It feels less crowded and that i wander round the beach awkwardly taking selfies until some kind girl from Australia takes pity on me and offers to require my picture. Poda Island has restroom facilities but be warned, they're of the squatty potty variety. Too soon, it's time to urge back on the boat.

Final Stop on the 4 Islands Tour – Phra Nang Cave Beach

After a ship ride around cliffs so spectacular I had to record a ten-minute bouncy video on my phone, we pull up to a quiet cove. There are dozens of long tail boats lined up, but no people. a woman during a pink shirt asks me to require her picture with the boats and she or he offers to require one among me. once we realize we’re both traveling alone, we immediately become best friends.

A pack of individuals walk down a paved path through the caves, so we follow them. After a brief five-minute walk, we round a corner to Phra Nang cave overlooking the pristine water. The beach is crawling with people but we don’t care. We run out into the water, throwing our bags of valuables to the wind.

Final Thoughts on the 4 Islands Tour

I enjoyed this tour and would definitely roll in the hay again. The 4 Islands tour may be a convenient and cost-effective thanks to see some amazing places around Ao Nang without having to stress about coordinating plenty of boat rides. If you’re planning a 4 Islands Tour, confirm to…

Book in Person: I booked online, but you'll compute a less expensive deal if you attend one among the tourist kiosks face to face . I met travelers on my tour who had negotiated their ticket price down a couple of dollars at the walk up stands everywhere Ao Nang.

Take a separate trip to Railay: You get to spend about an hour on the Phra Nang Cave a part of Railay, but Railay is worth its own excursion . come on another day and spend longer here.

Bring a water bottle: Water is provided but you’ll probably want quite the 2 or three little cups you’re given.

Protect your Electronics: You’ll be jumping off the boat into the water to wade to shore at each island, so use a water-proof telephone Dry Bag like this one to form sure you don’t drown your phone.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Inspiration from 7 Up, Lauren Oliver, Julien Baker, and More

Once a month (or so), I share a dozen things that have inspired me to greater personal, professional, and financial success in my life. I hope they bring similar success to your life. 1. Thoreau on happiness Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder. Henry David Thoreau I spent a lot of years of my life chasing happiness, believing that I could somehow build a happy life. What I learned is that such an endeavor is basically impossible. Instead, you should try to build a life thats in line with what your values and principles are, and what youll find is that happiness naturally bubbles up as you get closer and closer to that destination. Happiness is a side effect of doing something worthwhile. When you do worthwhile things, happiness occurs naturally. If you chase happiness for happinesss sake, youll never actually catch it. [embedded content] From the Wikipedia entry on the series: The Up Series is a series of documentary filmsproduced by Granada Television that have followed the lives of fourteen British children since 1964, when they were seven years old. So far the documentary has had eight episodes spanning 49 years (one episode every seven years) and the documentary has been broadcast on both ITV and BBC. In a 2005 Channel 4 programme, the series topped the list of The 50 Greatest Documentaries. The children were selected to represent the range of socio-economic backgrounds in Britain at that time, with the explicit assumption that each childs social class predetermines their future. Every seven years, the director, Michael Apted, films material from those of the fourteen who choose to participate. The last installment, 56 Up, premiered in May 2012; Apted has stated that filming for 63 Up will occur in late 2018, for release in spring 2019. Apted has also been reported as saying: I hope to do 84 Up when Ill be 99. The aim of the series is stated at the beginning of 7 Up as: Why do we bring these children together? Because we want to get a glimpse of England in the year 2000. The shop steward and the executive of the year 2000 are now seven years old. The video embedded above (if you cant see it, you can reach it by clicking on the link) is the full documentary 7 Up, which covers the fourteen children as they were in 1964, as seven year olds. Each subsequent entry in the series revisits most of the children at seven year intervals in their lives, as things go in different directions for them. I watched these for the first time as a marathon in around 2002, when 42 Up was the newest entry available; I watched the entire series again a few years later after 49 Up was released, and yet again with the making of 56 Up. Each time it utterly charmed me and left me thinking about the fragility and difficulty and beauty of human lives. A few days ago, a friend of mine pointed out that all of the films were freely available on Youtube, so theres no reason not to dive in. This Youtube list contains the entire series, starting with 7 Up and continuing through 56 Up, the most recent entry. 3. Lauren Oliver on the whole of people I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people; to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole. Lauren Oliver I feel like this is a good quote to pair with 7 Up, actually. In that series and in fact, throughout our lives we get only relatively small glances at these people. We see only little slivers of their lives. Even with the best efforts of the filmmakers, this would be true; a filmmaker visiting a person for a few days once every seven years cannot capture their true nature. Yet, as I watch those films, I cant help but draw some conclusions. I think I would be friends with some of them, and Id probably avoid other ones. Those quick takes may or may not be accurate. Im making them based on really limited information about a person. I might be seeing that person at their best or at their worst. I might be seeing a quirky moment thats not emblematic of them as a whole. Its impossible to really tell. What I do know is this: some of the worst mistakes Ive made in life have been due to snap judgments about people, almost all of them more negative than they ever should have been. I drew some very negative conclusions about people and guided my behavior regarding them based on very little information mixed in with my own ideas and assumptions, and it has cost me many potential dear relationships over the years. The tiny part of a person that you actually see is a pretty poor representative of the whole. This article by Jason Fagone chronicles the store of Jerry and Marge Selbee, who, in their retirement, discovered and then exploited holes in the Michigan and Massachusetts state lottery systems. I found myself reading this article one evening while Sarah was busy grading papers, and I couldnt help but mention to her that this is literally the kind of thing that I can see us doing in retirement. Were both curious people who like to understand how systems work. We arent afraid to take big leaps of faith on things that we feel certain about. Id like to think that Sarah and I, in our later years, will go on a lot of quirky adventures, like Jerry and Marge. Im also sharing this because its just a fun story, a well written one by Jason Fagone. This ones really worth your time. 5. Benjamin Franklin on apologies Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Benjamin Franklin One of the hardest things to do is to genuinely apologize when youve made a mistake and not turn it into an excuse or an avenue for blaming others. Anything beyond I messed up is simply a way to deflect blame off of yourself and, in the process, make the apology a lot less valuable. An apology that ends up being nothing more than a redirection of blame or an excuse of a mistake is a worthless apology; in fact, youre often leaving things in an even worse state because the other person perceives that you wont own up to your mistakes. When you mess up, apologize sincerely without excusing your mistake or blaming others. Admit that you messed up, state that youre sorry for it, and that you want to do what you can to make it right and to make sure it wont happen again. Make it clear that its on you, not on anyone else. Its hard to do that. Its much easier to just shovel the blame onto someone or something else. If you do that, though, you eliminate virtually all of the meaning of the apology and look pretty weak to boot. [embedded content] From the description: Do you know what you want when you die? Do you know how you want to be remembered? In a candid, heartfelt talk about a subject most of us would rather not discuss, Michelle Knox asks each of us to reflect on our core values around death and share them with our loved ones, so they can make informed decisions without fear of having failed to honor our legacies. Life would be a lot easier to live if we talked about death now, Knox says. We need to discuss these issues when we are fit and healthy so we can take the emotion out of it and then we can learn not just what is important, but why its important. This whole video harkens back to a big theme Ive come to really understand in my life in the last few years. The best time to talk about something is when youre as far away from emotion as possible regarding that thing. So, for example, dont talk about death when youre sick. Talk about it when youre healthy and vibrant, so theres as little emotion as possible in the subject. When youre talking to your parents about aging, dont do it at their moment of weakness. Wait for a time of strength, when theyre feeling as healthy and unemotional as possible, and then have that discussion. Dont talk about a marital problem when youre both riding the wave of that problem. Talk about it when youre getting along well and youre far away from that problematic area emotionally. This is a key life lesson, one that has stuck with me over the years, and this video really highlights that idea. 7. Roy T. Bennett on self-improvement and criticism Let the improvement of yourself keep you so busy that you have no time to criticize others. Roy T. Bennett Unless criticism is asked for, criticism of others is rarely a worthwhile endeavor. It achieves very little and often has the opposite effect of what you desire, with the recipient ignoring the content of what youre saying and just being upset with you. Hold it in. If you dont have something worthwhile to say, then dont say it at all. That doesnt mean that one should never criticize. A person should definitely criticize from time to time, but it should generally be at the invitation of the person who seeks criticism and is looking for ways to improve. Brutal honesty doesnt achieve anything worthwhile. [embedded content] From the description: In March of 2016, just a handful of months after her debut album Sprained Ankle was released, Julien Baker came and played a quiet, thoughtful Tiny Desk concert that went on to become one of our most popular and certainly one of the most-talked-about Tiny Desk Concerts of the year. (Its now approaching two million views on YouTube alone.) Fast forward to the summer of 2017, when I heard that a new record was imminent. I dont usually ask an artist back for a second Tiny Desk Concert simply because they have a new release but for Julien, I had to make an exception. With all the love that surrounded her first visit to the NPR offices, I reached out to ask if she would be willing to do something different this time around. Last fall, she delivered. All the songs for her return to the Tiny Desk come from last years Turn Out The Lights. Just a few weeks before the albums release, she came to Washington; we tuned our piano, she brought violinist Camille Faulkner. The first two songs, Hurt Less and Even, were accompanied by Camille, with Julien on piano for the opening tune and acoustic guitar on the second. Its quite stunning, as she sings: Putting my fist through the plaster in the bathroom of a Motel 6 I must have pictured it all a thousand times I swear to God I think Im gonna die I know you were right I cant be fixed, so help me For the last, Julien put together an arrangement of Appointments that begins on electric guitar, which then was looped as a backdrop to her on piano and voice. Julien Baker is a massively talented songwriter with a deeply caring heart and a perfectionist streak all of which delivered to her a career-making year. We are so thrilled to have her return. Set List Hurt Less Even Appointments Shes just fantastic. Well worth a listen. 9. Inspirational notes For the last several months, about once a week or so, Ill stick a note inside of one of my childrens backpacks. Its a note card in an envelope with their name on the front, and on the inside, I just write a short note saying something I admire about their character and how I hope they share that with the world. It takes me about ten minutes or so to do this. I just stop for a little bit, think of some truly worthwhile characteristic that one of my children possesses, and then Ill write about it. Ill tell a quick anecdote about when I saw that characteristic used in a positive way, how I am incredibly proud that Im their parent when I see them using that aspect of themselves, a gentle encouragement to use that characteristic in other aspects of their life, and a general reminder that I love them. Thats it nothing fancy. I know that my kids have read the notes because of comments Ive overheard, but not one of them has said a word about them to me. I do know that theyre read, though, and I do know that theyre thought about, and thats enough. Will it make a positive difference? Maybe. I think it will, given enough time. Dont just get inspired. Be an inspiration. 10. Muhammad Ali on the pebble in your shoe It isnt the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; its the pebble in your shoe. Muhammad Ali Its often one or two little details that make the difference between success and failure. You might be able to perfectly nail everything else you need for a diet, but its that mid-afternoon wave of hunger that you thoughtlessly indulge that undoes things. You might have perfect control over your spending except for that one little linchpin. Maybes its online spending at a particular website, or maybe its regular splurging on food. Whatever it is, theres often some little detail that puts a big scratch on the beautiful surface of your progress. The thing is, its far more meaningful to stop and pull that pebble out of your shoe than to keep on running for a little bit longer and just quit. Fix the little problems before they become big ones. [embedded content] From the description: When trying to come up with a new idea, we all have times when we get stuck. But according to research by behavioral and learning scientist Marily Oppezzo, getting up and going for a walk might be all it takes to get your creative juices flowing. In this fun, fast talk, she explains how walking could help you get the most out of your next brainstorm. Going on walks is unquestionably my most powerful creative tool. I dont have anything else in my repertoire that really compares to it. Its part of the reason why winters are often very hard in terms of writing productivity the weather rarely cooperates with the kind of long outdoor walk that I enjoy. While I enjoy winter in small doses, I wouldnt be surprised at all to find Sarah and I living further south in the winter months when we are older. I think it agrees much better with both of us. Still, I cant laud walking enough if youre trying to piece through a difficult idea in your head or youre trying to brainstorm some solutions. 12. JFK on strength Do not pray for easy lives, my friends. Pray to be stronger men. John Fitzgerald Kennedy Hoping that the future will become easier wont really help very much. Its very likely that the future wont become easier. Instead, recognize that your life right now probably is easier than it will be in the future and plan accordingly. Work a little harder today so you dont have to work quite as hard tomorrow. Save a little money today so you dont have to scramble tomorrow. Dont hope for an easier life. Work for a stronger you. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/inspiration-from-7-up-lauren-oliver-julien-baker-and-more/