#and from the distance you can hear the laugh of kim jaehwan

[sugaabooga]

The Holiday Ghost

Pairing: Kim Jaehwan x Reader

Genre: fluff, little angst?, bullet scenario, ghost!Jaehwan

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary/Extra: MERRRRRRRYYY CHRISTMAAAAASSSSS!!! Part of the Christmas Packages:) thought i should start posting the writings ive finished even tho a lot of the kpop fandom has been through hard times last week! i’ve also extended this holiday thing until the end of my winter break, January 8th. ENJOY!

So you’ve never really been a fan of horror movies

But one day in the middle of December, winter break, your friends Jihoon and Woojin suggest the three of you watch the new horror movie that had recently came out

That was the worst decision you have ever made in your whole entire life

You couldn’t walk back home alone and made both the boys walk you

But either way it was scary

bc they wouldn’t stop scaring you!!!

“Y-Y/N….”

“STOPPPPP!!”

“THERE’S SOMETHING BEHIND YOU!”

And they would start sprinting down the sidewalk and leave you to stand alone in the flickering street light

You almost burst into tears

Jihoon and woojin felt really bad after you had a near panic attack

so Jihoon ends up walking in front of you and woojin walks behind you

b4 they leave they remind you that it’s not real and ghosts don’t exist

Blah blah blah

Their little assurance somewhat calms you

BUT YOU REALIZE YOUR PARENTS AREN’T HOME

IT’S LATE WHY AREN’T THEY HOMEEEEE

DID THEY DIE!? IF YOU GO IN THE BATHROOM WILL THEY BE LAYING THERE!?

you start running around the house and turn on every single light you have

you know you shouldn’t, but you really don’t wanna risk seeing a dark shadow in the mirror as you brush your teeth then be led to your death, so you don’t even step a meter near the bathroom

you change in the corner of your room so nothing would be able to stand behind you

You walk backwards into your bed then create a little house around your head with all your stuffed animals

you somehow fall asleep despite the feeling you had of someone watching you

But during the middle of the night you hear soft strumming of the guitar

At first you think that it must be your next door neighbor, Joshua playing his little morning warm-up

Then you see the time from your half opened eyes and holy shiz it’s only 2am

you start to hyperventilate and you can’t even close your eyes

Bc what if the killer ghost is hovering right above you when you choose to open them again

You can’t risk it

the strums come closer and closer to your window

and you feel yourself sweating more and your breathing becomes ragged

but then you hear humming of a soft, light tune

it makes you think back to third grade, first day of school

you remember a kid who always brought a ukulele to school

tbh you had a crush on that boy, but you couldn’t remember his name

he always sat with you whenever you mom was late to pick you up and he would play a short theme song like from a popular cartoon

his songs always assured you that your mom was coming to pick you up soon

and it helped you forget all the bullies and frights you had

the song that you were hearing rn was oddly familiar and it comforted you

The strums were nowhere near creepy, surprisingly and the hums lulled you back to sleep

When you wake up in the morning, you hear guitar strums again

your heart beats erratically but then you realize

The sun’s out

Which means

It’s bright and daytime

Which meanss

NO GHOSTS

Which meanssss

It was your cute neighbor joshua hong playing his guitar and singing with his heavenly voice

You just lay in your bed after opening your window a bit more so you can hear him sing

But then you realize….

It wasn’t joshua’s voice

Joshua had a softer, gentler voice

This voice was soft and gentle….

But there was strong emotion put into each word sung

way more emotion than a morning warm up

you slowly get up and peek out your window to see…

Nothing

You notice that the singing and guitar stopped as well

you slump back into your bed then think back to the horror movie from yesterday

It couldn’t be….

A GHOST!?!!?!?

You start screaming and crying at the same time when the scenes from the movie come rushing into your brain

You hear footsteps come up the stairs and you start screaming even louder

But stop when you see that it’s just your mom

“WHAT’S GOING ON!? IS EVERYTHING OKAY!?”

“MOOOOMMMMM!!! I THINK OUR HOUSE IS HAUNTEDDD!!”

cue your mom hitting your back and yelling at you

“I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED!”

“SOMETHING DID HAPPEN! I HEARD A GHOST SINGING!”

that just makes your mom even more mad

her slaps just drive you out of bed and you soon find yourself sitting out on your porch

You were currently rubbing your hands over your arms

bc it was FREAKIN cold

you couldn’t believe your mom had kicked you out of the house in the middle of December

you’re muttering to yourself how cold it is then you see a guy with a guitar slung over his shoulder walking down the sidewalk and across the street about to pass by your home

He seemed to be in a good mood

humming and all

but something just seemed off about him

he was rather….. pale

like transparent pale

you’re kinda worried bc what if this guy was rlly sick or something and he didn’t know about it bc he seemed to be in a good mood

“Hey!”

You yell from your chair and wave your arms

he turns to you and stares at you for a bit then keeps walking

you’re like “uh wut?”

you go down the steps and you honestly don’t even know what you’re doing

your feet were moving on their own

you felt like you had to help this person

“Excuse me?”

you call out, but the guy DOES NOT STOP WALKING

could he not hear?

you jog up behind him and reach your hand out to tap him

but

your hand goes through him

“AHHHH!”

the guy suddenly whips around in shock and looks at you with an equally bewildered look

you’re frozen on the spot

you can’t move no matter how creepy the situation is rn

“d-do you see me?” he almost whispers

“n-no”

He just starts laughing and it freaks the hell outta you

What kind of psychotic laugh was that!?

You felt shivers run up and down your spine as he tried to calm himself down

you slowly try to step away from him but Jaehwan does that creepy, nervous, cute looking smile

like do you know what smile im talking about

and he asks you “where are you going?”

your mind’s just going ‘GTFO GGTTFFOO”

you attempt to turn around and run, but you just fall flat on your face

How comedic would this look from your window?

“Are you okay?”

“STOP DON’T COME NEAR ME!”

tbh jaehwan is disheartened at your tone

He was ecstatic that someone could finally see him, but now they were getting scared bc of him

He just ignores those feelings and nervously chuckles

you don’t hear anything for a while and you start to stand up

then you hear music

Those guitar strums

that voice

Both those factors reminded you of that one boy who played to you

you frantically look around, but you couldn’t seem to see anything

then, you spot that ghost guy from earlier

he was sitting on the side of your house, leaned against the wall

If jaehwan remembered anything about humans, it was that they seemed to calm down when there was music

you slowly walk over to him, your feet making crunching noises on the fresh snow

You just stand across from him listening to his voice

when he stops you look at him in surprise and disappointment

“Why’d you stop playing?”

Jaehwan smirks

“You seemed pretty calm enough”

he stands up to take his leave

“Y-You’re voICE IS NICE!”

you’re still kinda creeped out about the fact that he’s a ghost AND WHY ARE YOU SEEING HIM!?!!?

but he just had this familiar comforting feel

you stop him by reaching out for his arm when he merely smiles at your compliment and starts to walk away from you

then remember he’s a frkn ghost

but as you retract your arm you feel the cloth of his jacket

0o0o0o0o000o0o0o0

why were you able to touch him!?!!

Jaehwan can feel after all these years

More like a few months but

“ARE YOU MY SOULMATE!?!?!”

Kim jaehwan plz

you’re like “bro wtf?”

he proceeds to explain how if a human can see him and touch him, he gets a chance to go to the afterworld

for some odd reason, jaehwan was rejected bc he had someone in the real world who wasn’t ready to let him go

This usually wasn’t a problem but the wanting of his presence was REALLLLLYYYY STRONG

So he had to stay in the human world until he found that human and spent three weeks with them to convince them to let him go

“Are you saying it’s me?”

“There’s really no one else who could touch me”

He honestly didn’t know why you were able to touch him

Let alone SEE him

but he felt like you were the owner of that strong, unseen force of wanting his presence

you’re really confused tho bc you’ve never seen him b4

“IM JAEHWAN!”

he suddenly blurts then grins

“....y/n…”

and like JAEHWAN REMEMBERS YOU

You were that one girl who he always played his ukulele for in elementary school!

he had once seen you cry bc you’re mom was running really late and he walked home so he stayed an extra twenty minutes just singing and playing until you cracked a smile

But maybe you weren’t that girl bc he knew at least two other ppl named y/n

Anyways

he doesn’t mention that he may or may not know you and just follows you into your home

by then your mom is calmed down from this morning

there’s already a plate of pancakes set on the table for you

Jaehwan takes a tour around your home while you eat

You finish eating then hear his laugh again

You temporarily forgot there was a ghost in your home, so you freaked but then

“Right… jaehwan”

After you wash the dishes you go up to your room but jaehwan’s already in there

WEARING A FRKN BRA

you clamp your hand over your mouth so you don’t scream from the shock, but instead, you start laughing

“I WISH I COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU RN!”

you’re literally on the ground and Jaehwan just smiles at you and sits on your bed

STILL IN YOUR BRA

“STOP TOUCHING IT!”

it’s only been a few hours of spending time w/Jaehwan in your room

but you feel like you’ve known him for years

he told you about the day his first tooth fell out all the way to the last time he was still existing

you had shed some tears during his talk about his death and what he had felt when he saw the car barreling towards him

soon, a week passed

It was Christmas

You open up your presents

You had asked for a guitar and there it was

You honestly had NO KNOWLEDGE about guitars whatsoever, but the instrument always caught your eye

But ya know

Jaehwans a pro at guitar

So he basically teaches you the basics and helps you get started

You bond even quicker bc of the guitar lessons

And seriously

You never realized you would be best friends with a ghost

Christmas passed by really quickly with Jaehwan hanging out w/you all the time

his presence was always comforting

butttt a lot of your relatives prob thought you were crazy from giggling out of the blue and appearing to talk to yourself

you wanted to tell jihoon and woojin about jaehwan but you couldn’t find the time to meet them during the break

Soon it’s December 31st

third week

Jaehwan had mentioned his past b4

Especially he was now 99% sure that you were the one not letting him go after seeing, from your pictures, that you WERE that girl from like 14 years ago

you didn’t even realize that you were holding on to him from leaving this world

you didn’t even know that you were always missing that one kid in elementary school, who always managed to put a smile on your face and brighten up your day

you now knew that you were the one keeping Jaehwan from leaving to where he belonged

behind the Heaven gates

you kept putting it behind

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow…in three days…. next week….”

until it was New Year’s Eve

10:05pm

You were sitting out on Ong Seongwoo’s empty patio w/Jaehwan

Ong Seongwoo - a freakishly rich dude that somehow became friends with Jihoon and Woojin despite the four year age gap

Seongwoo had thrown a New Year’s Eve party

there were mostly college kids, but a few high schoolers from jihoon and woojin’s dance team were also invited were at this party

You have no idea how you were at this party, but woojin had insisted you come

you had spent some time talking with some of the dancers’ girlfriends and with Jihoon and woojin, but decided to get some fresh air bc the loud music and smell of alcohol was too much

Jaehwan hadn’t come with you even tho he begged to come as long

you wanted jaehwan to stay home

Just in case you did something completely embarrassing

but one thing you should know

don’t ever trust kim jaehwan

Especially when he’s a ghost

you were just gazing out into the night sky when you saw a glowing figure

you were about to freak out

BC ANOTHER GHOST!? JAEHWAN WAS ALREADY A HANDFUL

but then you saw that it was just Jaehwan

the ghost that you had somehow fell in love with

You really wished he was a person

As jaehwan spent more and more time w/you

the less and lesser you would be able to tap his shoulder, give him a small hug, or even high five him

It was like the very first time you tried to tap his shoulder, the first time you met

your fingers just went through him

you knew that you couldn’t let go of him

you missed his presence whenever you would wake up and not see him there on the floor, gazing blankly at the ceiling

Jaehwan was prob just lowkey stalking your other neighbor, Hwang Minhyun

I mean he still couldn’t believe someone could be so…..

clean

anyways

you don’t think you would be able to live without him

but that was just your selfish desires

You knew the longer jaehwan spent his time in the real world, the more dangerous it would become for him

Jaehwan would be turned into a human, but obviously he had to experience another death since he’s not supposed to be alive

but if that happened, he wouldn’t even get a chance to go to trial to go to Heaven

you didn’t want that

you would rather miss him for a bit then see him again in the form of an angel

so you decide to let him go at exactly 12am, January 1st of the new year

when jaehwan appears, he already knows you made up your mind

he could just tell from your eyes

both the sadness and determination

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Jaehwan?”

“I’m sorry I forgot I was a ghost the other day and tried to carry your guitar.”

you chuckle at his belated apology

“No worries”

The two of you spend the rest of the time talking about the three weeks you’ve spent together

it felt like you had been with him for years

Before you know it, it’s 11:58pm

ppl inside are already starting the countdown

Two minutes b4 the new year since seongwoo’s like that

Both of you know you’re running out of time

and you just suddenly break down in tears

you became so attached to the ghost in front of you in a matter of three weeks

It was like fate had brought you two together after he had died and give you the time to grow love for one another just to break you apart again

sure, it was only three weeks

But you already knew that you would be willing to spend the rest of your entire life with him

You had literally seen all sides of jaehwan

The good sides, the bad sides, the funny sides, the broken sides

“I love you, Y/N”

you look up in surprise

You were half expecting to be like

“AHhAHhahHAHkakkjakH LOVE YOUUUU”

And joke about it but

nope

you look in his eyes and you know he’s not joking around this time

your eyes were still half-filled w/tears, so you quickly rub them away in order so you can see jaehwan properly

But he’s fading away

WHY WAS HE FADING AWAY?

Jaehwan steps closer to you and you can actually feel… body heat?

you missed being able to actually physically touch jaehwan

he sadly smiles and all you see in his eyes are tears and genuinity

“I love you”

you hear the loud cheers of the people inside counting down from ten to finally celebrate the new year that will bring new New Year Resolutions and fresh starts

The countdown slowly fades away as you see the space between you and Jaehwan grow smaller and smaller

Just as you close your eyes and feel a light touch on your lips,

“ONEEEE WHOOOP!!!”

You hear cheers grow the loudest they’ve ever been that night

The touch…..

it’s gone

Jaehwan….

is gone

After Jaehwan just disappears into thin air, everything else is a blur

You remember woojin coming out to find you squatted down on the ground, about to cheer how it was the new year, but instead sees your face in your hands, and tears streaming down your face

he knew better than to ask what was wrong

he immediately takes you home and wishes you a Happy New Year and leaves a light, shy kiss on your forehead

if you hadn’t met jaehwan in the duration of your winter break, you prob would’ve been bursting with happiness rn

You had always had a small crush on woojin

but obviously it all changed when you had seen jaehwan

Instead, you offer a small smile, thank him for being such a supportive friend and bid him a safe walk back home

you trudge back into your room and fall face flat onto your bed

you want to cry

and…. you do

But as you struggle to calm down and get up to wash your face and move on with your life….

you hear a tiny crinkling of paper

you look over, confused and see a small piece of paper sticking out from the first fret of your guitar, fluttering from the wind that was being let in from your slightly open window

with trembling hands, you open it up and let some more tears fall

happy tears

“Merry New Year’s, Y/N! Don’t miss me too much. :P Move on with your life. Don’t forget about me though! I still want some attention you know lol (i used that slang word! Lol keke I saw it when you were texting that friend of yours lol) Thanks for letting me go. I will never forget you and all the things we’ve been through even though it’s been only three weeks. lol…

I love you. - Kim Jaehwan”

as you struggle to keep in your tears and not roll his eyes at his overuse of the “slang” word ‘lol’ you notice something falling out from the small note he had left

you crouch down and pick it up from the floor to see

his guitar pick

[eutaerpe]

maybe you’re the reason

pairing — jungkook x reader, jimin x reader

genre/warnings—   college!au, idiot best friends to lovers!au, help jungkook is cute

summary —   the most painful love story, aka idiot best friends to lovers.

notes — 2.3k words of the beginning. hope it still is worth your time? lmk ily

before

You faintly hear Jimin slapping Jungkook’s nape, a devilish smirk stuck on his lips.

“Are you actually buying condoms? Our little Kookie?”

A “Fuck off.” comes in response, and you can picture Jungkook scrolling his friend’s arm around him with boredom and too little strength, even though you’re not facing them—you see, there are far important matters in the world in this precise, excruciating moment. You eye the alcohol section with tight lips and a painfully light wallet, mentally doing the math and pondering whether you can actually buy twenty-two cans of beer with your pathetic budget. Perhaps you should abandon the quest altogether and focus on that good old big bottle of vodka in the corner. And chips. God, yes, chips.

“You know,” Jaehwan approaches them, head tilted, “I’ve always thought Kook would turn out to be a real heartthrob. All fucking ripped, full of tattoos and a big dick. The whole package, dude.”

Jimin snickers, clapping his hands. “Hey, never say never. He still has time to bloom.”

“I thought you all knew that my dick is the only big dick in this outrageous friends group, jerks,” Tae emerges in this aisle, drown in a white shirt too large for his small size and wide Bordeaux pants that will end up being the reason why he’ll trip and bring down with him Jimin. Jaehwan too, maybe, if he makes other dick jokes. You can bet on it. “Jimin can confirm it.”

“I can hear you, bastards.” Jungkook punches Taehyung, “And I hope you and your hands have fun for the rest of your life.”

“Ouch,” it’s your turn to chuckle and turn your head around, meeting your friends’ amused smiles, “That hurt.”

You stretch your legs, standing still for the first time after an intense ten-minutes session spent in front of alcohol bottles; placing both of your hands on the back of your shoulders, you make sure to crack them. Fucking finally.

“You might have an answer, then, y/n…”

Taehyung licks his lips, smirking openly. “Is our little Kookie—ah, how can I phrase this? Well, not so little?”

“How would I know?” you roll your eyes, moving towards them, “I’m not planning on seeing any of your dicks soon, thank you very much.”

His eyes sparkle. “But you’re planning to, at some point?”

You can’t help the smirk tugging at the corner of your lips, all stretched out and mischievous. “We’re currently betting on which one of you ends up sending their dick pics to the group chat first, and…” you almost close the distance between your and Tae’s body, “I’ve already bet on you, Kim.”

“Why,” he questions, smiling, “Desperate much to see me naked?”

“Not at all.” You shake off the pretend dust on his wide shoulders, all of this while his breath hitches, “I’m just the most likely to earn a hundred bucks by doing absolutely nothing.”

You pinch his cheeks, while Jungkook sneers, a pack of condom in his hands.

“Now help me grab these fucking beers.”

+

Despite being the end of July, there’s a calming, quiet breeze that makes you shiver for a second. You look back in the car, hoping to bump into a hoodie of sorts, even though the last time you checked, you didn’t bring one with you. Sucks to be one of the guys, then. You won’t say goodbye to a perfect night out on the beach because of a stupid hoodie, nope.

You hold onto the car door for a while, contemplating whose hoodie you’re gonna steal, when a warm hand brushes your arm and wakes you up from your musing.

“Thanks for earlier,” your soon-to-be buff friend says, voice just as warm as his body, “The guys can be nosy as fuck.”

You nod, slumping on the passenger seat with a sigh. “What’s the matter with buying condoms? At least one of you is having safe sex.”

“Right,” Jungkook grins, “It’s just that—I didn’t tell them?”

“That you’re having sex?”

“Yeah,” he nods, gulping, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Enough to tell them, of course.”

Jungkook palms the wheel, before glancing at you and closing his car door.

“I mean,” you begin, scratching your cheek, “It’s not.”

It’s not unusual of your friend group to have this kind of conversation—the lot of you was painfully open minded and honest it would have never crossed a mind of yours to stray away from topics like this. Like sex. Of course, some of you were the exception. Lisa, to begin with. Jungkook, too. The two of them laughed and smiled when you talked about sex related stuff. Relationship related stuff. But not because they were uncomfortable or… against it, you reckon. They were – are – the kind of people that keeps this to themselves. That doesn’t overshare, even when it comes to their best friends. It was – fine; cool, really, because at the end of the day you know you can count on them the same way they do on you. Any of you.

The thing that throws you off is—the fact that Jeon Jungkook is telling you this. Right now. You’re one of his best friends in the same terms he’s one of yours; that doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t, in the slightest, expecting this kind of conversation. For a trillion reasons.

“But Jungkook,” he looks at you with his doe eyes, “You’ve been dating for, what? Almost a year? We literally caught Chaeyoung blowing you two weeks ago. That wouldn’t surprise us, you know.”

“Yeah, but…” he trails off, eyes focused on the dashboard. “I mean, it doesn’t… it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“What,” you ask, quietly, “What doesn’t?”

“Me engaging in,” he shrugs, shaking his head, “Me having sex.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t. But people love to talk. And it’s your best friends we’re talking about. Of course they’re gonna be bitches and talk about you when you’re not there.”

“Jerks.”

“Horny bastards.”

Jimin closes the back door with strength before throwing himself on the backseats, legs spread, and head thrown back on the headrest. He sighs, passing a hand through his blonde hair.

You look at him with sparkling eyes, fingers fidgeting with the seatbelt.

“I’m not riding with them,” he begins, pointing his chin towards Seokjin’s car, better known as the Kim car, you think, squinting your eyes when the nth Kim person enters the very vehicle. You instantly spot Jennie spitting orange juice on both Taehyung and Jaehwan, and you chuckle at the sight. “Besides, Rosie is riding with you, right? This is my chance.”

“Yeah, hyung,” Jungkook replies, eyeing you with an uneasy expression, “You better make a move.”

“You said Chaeyoung won’t join us, right? So, we can make space for Lisa too. You know, I’ll make sure she’s comfortable with us. There’s gonna be her best friend with us.”

You frown, almost instantly.

Jimin rambling is a sight for sore eyes, especially because the last time you’ve seen him this insecure and giggly, adorable self was when you were thirteen and puberty still hadn’t hit him. At the time, Jimin was just a small guy that knew more about dancing rather than playing soccer or basketball or whatever kids his age were into at the time. He was shy and always pushed his glasses onto his nose and had just gotten a crush – it’s weird seeing him again like that almost a decade later. You’re about to tell him that, yeah, you consider yourself a decent friend for Chaeyoung, but calling yourself her best friend sounds a lot like projecting, anyway—

“And then there’s you,” Jimin says, prodding your shoulder, “It’s gonna be a female filled car. Does it get any more comfortable than that?”

Does it get any more uncomfortable than this?

Jungkook snickers, handing you two CDs. You realize it seconds later, when he’s snapped his fingers in front of your questioning face and has crooked his neck to look at you.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

His hand grazes your tight for a flashing instant, so prompt and light you would have missed it if your eyes weren’t looking at the friend on your left, his expression unfazed.

after

“You’re a jerk—” you start in firm protest, shutting altogether when his rough hands cup your clenching jaw. He nudges his nose with yours, pressing his lips against yours in a tentative, subdued challenge. His mouth is hot when you shiver under his timid yet dominant touch; the truth is you’re weak and seconds away from throwing your arms around his shoulders, clutching around his neck and tilting your head to grant him a better access to your mouth. You do that exactly, crumbling under his knowing touch, melting against the softness of his superficially raw affection, and you hate yourself for it.

“Jimin,” you start, when his mouth is on your neck, as he grunts your name against your skin. “I can’t—we can’t.”

“I,” he begins, swallowing a moan, “I cancelled every appointment I had this morning—”

“I’m talking about us.”

He furrows his eyebrows, biting back that hideous comeback of sorts ready on his tongue. There’s no us. What are you talking about. This is not what it looks like. You know all of them like the back of your hands. He’s either said them, voice like venom during heated, comforting nights or wears them on his sleeve. He might be kind, on a vague extent you’re not even sure about right now, but he’s not a liar. Not with you, at least.

Blinking once, you can see perfectly where he stands.

Somehow, even thought you knew, already fucking knew, this is it. This is how your heart shatters.

“We talked about this, though?” he looks for confirmation in your eyes, head tilted.

“Yes,” but that’s not enough, “But I can’t. Not anymore.” You try swallowing the lump in your throat, skin already freezing because of his body no longer on yours.

Jimin lies on your bed like that, half naked and now devoid of his safety net. You’re being an utterly, brave stupid right now: staring at him, the defined muscles you gripped many times before, you realise you’re letting go of someone you love, in a twisted way. A strangled voice in your head reminds you that you’re someone you love, too, and that has to count for something.

It’s worth a try, you think, his lips in a pout, trying to convince you; but, alas. He doesn’t bother, this time. He doesn’t ask you for mercy, doesn’t beg you to understand the situation he’s in. How this isn’t cheating, it’s a pause, she’s driving him crazy, y/n! He doesn’t ask for your time, for your body, for the warmth his supposedly wife-to-be should give him.

He gets up, reaches for his tee.

The silence is heavy on your heart. It’s a chant, now, the you’re doing your best, it had to be done, don’t cry—

He looks unfazed by all of this, grabbing clothes thrown all over the place, recollecting them slowly. He’s undoing his presence, deleting the evidence, reconnecting his pieces.

A part of you wishes for his goodbye, maybe a desperate love admission, but you know him, and if there’s something you’ve learned after all these years with him is that it won’t come out of his mouth.

You’re doing your best, it had to be done, don’t cry—maybe it’ll never come out.

He doesn’t look back: Jimin doesn’t turn around in his final steps towards your door. He reaches quietly for the handle, you can see right through your open bedroom door. Then, he nods to himself instead, waving imaginary goodbyes in his head.

Just like that he’s gone.

+

“I’m not saying you won’t miss his dick game,” Taehyung scoffs, stealing fries from you. “But, ouch, don’t punch me—I’m saying it had to be done.”

You sigh, playing with the sesame seeds in your plate.

“You know it. A wise side of you knows it, at least. Just because the guy told you nice things while balls deep inside of you it doesn’t mean he ever thought of leaving his fiancée for you. How long has it been, huh?”

“Since,” you scroll your shoulders, “I don’t know? Since they got engaged.”

“My point exactly. He gives her a diamond, they fight, they break up, he fucks you, then goes back to her crying and begging. Rinse and repeat, so many times until the other woman but not-really-because-we’re-on-a-pause---I’m talking about you, darling-- thinks he’s in love with her.”

“I know he’s not, Taehyung.”

“Smart girl,” he steals more from you, “Besides, in a couple weeks we’re going back home.”

“God, don’t remind me.”

He laughs, unlocking his phone. “Why’s that? I thought you were excited to finally go back. ‘S been a while since we spent the whole summer home.”

“Yeah, but that was before all of this. Why do you think I’ve never come back, all these years? I don’t wanna see Jimin showing off his fucking fiancée right in front of my face. My mother’s face. God. It’s gonna be sickening.”

“Huh.”

“Besides,” you begin, hurriedly, “Everybody we know is gonna be there—Lisa, Chaeyoung, Jaehwan… do I need to go on? Shit, Tae. You think anyone else knows?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Shit. I don’t know why I agreed to this. Maybe I can still do something about it. A ticket refund?”

“You so do not want a ticket refund.”

“Hello, idiot? Have you not heard me? Which part of—”

“Shit, Jungkook has abs.”

A pregnant pause. You eye the lukewarm soda on your side.

“I’m—come again, please?”

“Since when he has Instagram? And a whole sleeve tattoo?”

[vixxscifiwritings]

to ruin it all (and love like fools)

Title - to ruin it all (and love like fools)

Pairing - Wonshik x female!OC

Characters - Wonshik, Groovl1n crew, OCs

AU - Soulmates

Genre - romance drama

Warning - all characters in this are pure of heart but dumb of ass

Summary - Wonshik doesn’t have a crush on their youngest dancer. The tugging on his finger is a constant reminder why he can’t like anyone

Tag List -  @tomatoholmes @merlionmen @seraphistols  @k-craze-97 @blossomtearsleo

-

Wonshik feels the familiar tug on his little finger as he gets out of the car. His soulmate is nearby. He sighs, resisting the urge to touch the affected finger.

The tugging starts when they move into the new studio building. Groovl1n is still a baby company and in its early stages. Wonshik remembers the first two days passing without him noticing the effects. He passes it off as soreness after a minor injury sustained at the gym.

It’s only when Daehyun jokingly asks him if he is trying to use the force to sense where his soulmate is that he realizes that the tugging is the effect of his soulmate being nearby. The idea terrifies him. There are too many big decisions taking place and too many changes for Wonshik to deal with one more.

It’s also the first time meeting the new staff and crew. Apart from Inseob and Daehyun, he knows no one else. Fortunately and unfortunately, the new studio building also has a small office and a popular yoga center above it. Combined with Wonshik’s ill advised determination to put off facing this discovery, he never comes to know who his soulmate is.

If they are part of his new crew, they don’t show it by reacting to his presence any different. Wonshik wonders if he will ever know, given by the extreme emotions he gets from fans and haters alike. Perhaps he has already met his soulmate and knew no better. Maybe they work in the office above or are regulars at the yoga center. The possibilities are endless.

“Super Manager-nim!” he hears. He knows that playful voice. When he turns around, he is greeted by a surprise voice.

“CEO Kim, you’re here too” Haneul says, greeting him politely with a bow. She’s the youngest of the Crack Kidz dance crew and also the newest addition. Haneul joined them two weeks ago but she gets along with everyone as if she has known them for years. They have nicknames and inside jokes already.

She’s only extra polite and awkward around him. It’s the disadvantage of being the leader, he guesses. Though he wishes this wasn’t the case but that is a worry for another day.

“He has a very busy day at work” Daehyun feigns seriousness. His tone is apologetic for the sad state of affairs but his mischievous eyes aren’t.

“I’m pretty sure you make me busy schedules on purpose” Wonshik complains. Daehyun laughs and even Haneul smiles.

“Then I met you both at the perfect time! I am on a coffee run for the crew. I can get you something if you want” she offers.

“We’re all making Minhun go broke by charging his card for fancy coffee” she adds and Daehyun grins. Minhun is their new choreographer and a tough taskmaster. Coffee money is a small petty revenge.

“Can I get the fanciest thing on the list then?” Wonshik jokes.

“One caramel latte with extra syrup and whipped cream for Kim Sajang” Haneul says. She notes it down on the list she has on hand.

“He’s on a diet. He only gets an americano” Daehyun frowns.

Wonshik pouts and makes puppy eyes but Daehyun is too strict. So he turns to Haneul. She bites her lip but doesn’t waiver because Daehyun is glaring at both of them. How does Jaehwan make it work and get away with it every time?

“I’ll sneak in a cold brew in a covered cup” Haneul stage whispers and Wonshik smiles. She takes her leave, promising to be back within fifteen minutes and he watches her go.

“You’re not subtle when you are crushing on someone” Daehyun says, giving him a pointed look.

“I’m not crushing on anyone” Wonshik replies defensively. His reply is immediate and Daehyun only narrows his eyes in a knowing manner. Wonshik hits his shoulder half heartedly before walking into the building.

He doesn’t have a crush on their youngest dancer. The tugging on his finger is a constant reminder why he can’t like anyone. And too much is on the line for the new label for Wonshik to get distracted now.

Thirty minutes later when he finds a cup of cold brew on his desk accompanied with sugar free sweeteners and a sticky note asking Daehyun not to be too mad, he can’t help but wish he could.

-

Wonshik likes to think the only reason that Daehyun can tell what he feels with practiced ease is their long standing familiarity. He realizes that he isn’t subtle at all when Chiwoong catches him looking at Haneul. Chiwoong only shakes his head, fondly exasperated at the elder man.

It’s one week to the release of Vacay and the artists and crew members have begun practice for their dance and promotional videos. After a particularly long day, Wonshik decides to treat everyone to a late night dinner. The decision is followed by cheering and animated discussion over what to eat and what food stalls will be open now of the night.

Chiwoong suggests a pop up tteokbeokki stand that he frequents . Everyone agrees when Inseob adds that they can get soju or beer from the convenience store nearby. That’s how everyone ends up on an arrangement of circular tables on either chairs or stools. By virtue of being youngest, Chiwoong and Haneul help with the orders and drinks.

Once the food is all on the table, Chiwoong sits down next to him and she sits down next to Jeongyeon. Haneul loves extra spicy tteokbokki that no one else can eat. It turns into a competition to see if the others can handle the spicy rice cakes just as well. Jeongyeon eats half of a rice cake and almost cries much to everyone’s amusement.

Wonshik laughs when Haneul eats the rest and sticks her tongue out at Jeongyeon. She gets called the most disrespectful maknae ever and falls over laughing. Wonshik admires her cheeky spirit and liveliness. He pushes the rice cake around in the sauce, head propped on his hand. It’s been a long day and he doesn’t know how everyone else has energy left. Luckily his company understands and leaves him alone.

Chiwoong turns to ask him if he wants more to eat but catches wonshik smiling at the chaos. Wonshik realizes a second late and blushes in embarrassment. He didn’t realize he was staring. Maybe subtlety is a talent he doesn’t have.

“Whatever you are thinking or whatever Daehyun told you, it isn’t what it looks like” Wonshik clears up.

“I wasn’t thinking anything” Chiwoong says playfully. “I was merely admiring Hannie’s spice tolerance. I think you were too.”

Wonshik feels a pang of jealousy at the nickname. Chiwoong and Haneul are born in the same year and get to be informal with each other. He doesn’t know when Chiwoong met her but this is a small label where everyone eventually knows everyone.

“I’m going to get some more beer” Chiwoong says, leaving Wonshik to his thoughts. Almost as if to make him more jealous, Chiwoong stops to talk to Haneul after getting more beer. He says something and she indignantly protests when Jeongyeon supports him.

Wonshik looks away. It’s too late in the night to be jealous and it takes too much energy. Especially when he is trying very hard not to be. He poses for a picture with Inseob and pulls Daehyun’s leg. Jiwon texts him a cute picture of Butt who is currently at home and Wonshik misses him. After the promotion cycle, he’s going to bring Butt back to the studio. Hopefully his son will like the new one as much as he liked the older one.

“Kim Sajang, do you mind if I sit here?” Haneul asks, interrupting his thoughts.

“Haneul?” he asks, surprised. She is standing next to him with a plate of what looks like more tteokbokki and an expression that alternates between a frown and a glare at Chiwoong. Wonshik thinks he can glare at him too.

“Sure. You don’t need to ask permission" Wonshik says, still taken by surprise. He pulls the chair for her so she can set down the plate and sit down.

"I got banned from every table because of the spicy tteokbokki" she huffs.

"Everyone is just teasing you" he laughs. Chiwoong winks at Wonshik from a distance. Wonshik covers his face in embarrassment and pretends he didn't see.

"We'll see who has the last laugh when Minhun makes everyone do split stretches in the morning tomorrow" she grumbles to herself.

"Do you always hold grudges like this?" Wonshik asks, thoroughly amused.

"Yes. The kid who answered the question before I could in fifth grade is my mortal enemy" Haneul tells him. She stabs the rice cakes for emphasis.

"You are so extra" he laughs. Haneul glares at him before she realizes who she is glaring at. Unlike previous times, this time it is good natured embarrassment and not awkwardness. She looks cute even while blushing, he thinks fondly.

There is a mid tug on his finger and he shivers. Why now? What does it mean? It's a disappointing pull to reality. His soulmate is nearby now but no one else has come in or left as far as he has noticed.

"Kim Sajang, are you feeling cold?" Haneul asks, looking at him. She is already taking her jacket off before Wonshik nods in reply.

"My sister used to be an idol trainee. She would always say that colds were a singer's worst enemy" she says by way of an explanation when she holds it out to him.

"Won't you be cold?" he hesitates.

"Not very much" she shrugs. He takes the jacket and pulls it around himself. The extra warmth makes him feel better. Her jacket is old and worn out but comfortable after long use. It makes Wonshik feel at ease and he smiles gratefully at her.

This time when his finger tugs, he ignores the feeling entirely.

-

"You're zoning out" Jongin says. Wonshik has been moving back and forth on the hoverboard for a while now.

Jongin has a rare break from schedules and he decides to hang out with Wonshik at his new studio. Something has been distracting Wonshik as of late and Jongin is determined to find out what.

"Nothing really" Wonshik lies.

"Something is. It's clearly seen on your face" Jongin tells him.

"Am I really that transparent?" Wonshik despairs.

"Like clear glass" Jongin says. The truth behind this statement amuses him no end. No one can tell what Wonshik is thinking most of the time, but when you get to know him he becomes an open book on display.

"Do you remember meeting your soulmate?" Wonshik asks. Jongin nods, encouraging him to continue.

"Why didn't you date them?" Wonshik asks. He doesn't know the person or any other important details. He only knows that Jongin met them a long ago but has been single for however long Wonshik has known him.

"I was too busy with training and then with debut" Jongin shrugs.

"Would you have dated them if you weren't an idol?"

"Maybe I would have. But so many things would have changed if I wasn't a celebrity" Jongin admits. "Not everyone ends up with their soulmate and that's fine. Most of the time you don't even meet them in this lifetime."

"When I was a child and I learnt about them, I was so sure I would end up marrying whoever it is" Wonshik confesses.

It's silly but it's a thought he had harboured for years now. It's part of what makes actually meeting his soulmate so terrifying. It is also what makes his feelings for Haneul feel like a betrayal.

"Soojung wasn't your soulmate but you still liked her" Wonshik thinks out loud.

"I did. A lot. Our timing was terrible but I don't regret it" Jongin says carefully. "I would have regretted not trying."

"What if I never meet my soulmate?" Wonshik asks. It's a possibility. They are so close yet so far away.

"Then you can definitely safely ask out the person who you are crushing on. Who clearly isn't your soulmate apparently" Jongin laughs. "It might even be the best case scenario for you."

"I hate it when you do that" Wonshik gripes, getting off the hoverboard. "Don't read me like an open book."

"You love me anyways. But I was serious. Tell me more about your crush" Jongin asks, leaving forward excitedly.

"Only if you promise not to tell anyone because no one knows" Wonshik says.

"Knowing you, I am sure everyone already knows" Jongin teases. He gets a cushion in his face for his troubles.

"It's one of the dancers in the new crew" Wonshik starts.

"Aren't most of them new? Your crush hasn't lasted long then" Jongin deduces.

"It's been around long enough" Wonshik sighs.

"What's her name? How did you both meet?"

"Haneul. We met here at the studio, on the day she joined the crew. She was part of the same dance school as Minhun and he recommended her."

"Does she know you like her? Do you know if she likes you?"

"I doubt it. We don't get to meet as much. And for the longest time she referred to me formally and wouldn't even look me in the eye."

"How did you end up developing a crush on her if you guys never talked?" Jongin asks confused.

"She's a really good dancer. And she's lively and cute and full of energy. I don't know. The first time we met, I was late and dance practice had already started. I think I started liking her when I saw her dance for the first time. Isn't that stupidly cheesy?" Wonshik asks.

"Very cheesy" Jongin laughs. "But also very cute."

"I don't know what to do" Wonshik says more to himself than to Jongin.

"Invite her for coffee. Or a meal together. Maybe ask for her opinion on a song and spend some time in the studio together" Jongin suggests.

"I owe her for lending me her jacket" Wonshik says, thinking hard. A coffee date might work.

If he ever manages to work up the courage to ask her. He flops down next to Jongin and lies down with his head on Jongin's lap. Why is this so hard?!

"I should warn you. With instant crushes like this, you might even find that you don't actually like the person after spending time together" Jongin warns him. His best friend is a romantic who tends to set himself up for heartbreak.

"Why can't all these stupid feelings go away on their own?" Wonshik asks with a deep sigh.

-

"Kim Sajang, you are just in time" Minhun says cheerfully.

"I was only passing by. I didn't know you were looking for me" Wonshik says, surprised.

He racks his brain to remember if he forgot about a message or if Daehyun told him that he was needed in the studio.

Truth be told, he just wants to return Haneul's jacket to her. So he picks the time when he knows that dance practice would be over and "accidentally happen to be in the same area". His calculation is slightly off as he finds Haneul and Minhun in the studio with no intention of leaving like the rest of the crew.

"We weren't looking for you specifically. I was teaching Haneul the choreography for Layered because she will be your new partner and you happened to pass by. Do you guys want to run through it once?" Minhun asks.

"Oh" Wonshik says. Warning bells start in his head immediately. The choreography is intentionally intimate and sensual and the last thing it was designed for is him dancing with his crush.

"Looks like Kim Sajang is busy. We can run through it some other time" Haneul suggests, saving him from embarrassment.

"Yeah that's a better idea. We can do run throughs before the next launch party. I don't think we added Layered to any performances in other events" Minhun thinks.

He nods to himself when his memory confirms his assumptions. He walks off to the speaker in deep thought and Haneul and Wonshik share a smile. Their head choreographer tends to do this all the time.

"I actually just wanted to return your jacket" Wonshik tells Haneul. He picks up the packet in hand and shakes it for good measure.

"I almost forgot about it" Haneul says, blinking at the packet.

"I should have returned it earlier, sorry" Wonshik apologizes.

"It's alright" Haneul says, smiling at him. Wonshik smiles in return. She takes the packet from him and their fingers brush. There is a violent tug on his finger and Wonshik accidentally grips her hand in surprise.

"Okay, let's run through the next part" Minhun announces, fiddling with the speakers and blissfully unaware of Wonshik's crisis.

"I'll leave you to it" he says stiffly before exiting the room. Haneul calls after him but he doesn't hear it over the storm of thoughts and emotions in his head.

-

"Hey" Daehyun says, snapping his fingers in front of Wonshik's face. Wonshik opens his mouth and then closes it and Daehyun frowns.

"What are you so worried about?" Daehyun asks, sitting next to him.

"Nothing. Writer's block" Wonshik lies.

It couldn't be further from the truth. After the dance studio incident, he has taken to hiding in his small studio. The extra time has actually helped him focus on producing more songs. Writer's block is the last of his issues.

"It's okay. You should take a break from composing now and then. You're always stuck in the studio till late in the night" Daehyun assures him.

"You should take time off and go date people or visit places or something. Get more life experience, you know?"

Wonshik nods. He smiles at Daehyun who takes it as a cue not to push Wonshik more. Baby steps is always the key.

"I thought you went to get more coffee" Wonshik says, noting the distinct lack of coffee cups on the table.

"I asked Haneul" Daehyun says. He feels particularly proud of this ingenious way of getting them to spend time together.

"Is she a coffee girl? Why are we always troubling her with coffee orders? Maybe we should just install vending machines in the building" Wonshik rants.

Daehyun raises an eyebrow but Wonshik continues.

"I know she's the youngest but we never made Sanghyuk get coffee. Or Chiwoong. But Chiwoong always says he'll remember the orders and then forgets it right at the counter. Just because Haneul actually notes down orders and is efficient, doesn't mean we should keep troubling her again."

"Okay man" Daehyun says, interrupting him before he goes on forever.

"Sorry. But you get my point right?" Wonshik asks, running his hand through his hair.

"Why are you avoiding Haneul?" Daehyun asks outright.

"I'm not avoiding Haneul" Wonshik lies. It's ineffective and it only confirms Daehyun's suspicion.

"Three years ago, you got into a fight with Taekwoon and every time anyone mentioned him you went on off topic rants like this one" Daehyun tells him.

"I swear to God that I'm changing my manager" Wonshik swears.

"You won't survive without me. I'm a super manager for a reason" Daehyun grins.

"Only Haneul calls you that" Wonshik reminds him.

"Because she is the only one who appreciates my hard work unlike you ungrateful brats" Daehyun complains. He swats at Wonshik's shoulder too. It starts a playful fight that is interrupted with Jeongyeon knocking on their door.

"Hello" Daehyun greets her with a smile. He almost frowns when he notices the coffee in her hand.

"Hannie had to help Chiwoong with something so she asked me to bring you the coffee" Jeongyeon tells them.

"Please stop sending our youngest on errands and let her focus on dance practice" she says solemnly before handing the coffee cups over.

"That's what I keep telling Wonshik" Daehyun says and gets a look from Wonshik in return.

Jeongyeon raises an eyebrow and shakes her head at Wonshik. "There are better ways of spending time with a girl you like. I thought you would know that Kim Sajang" she teases.

"I don't know why any of you have that assumption" he grumbles, turning away to focus on the notes on his table.

Haneul rarely asks anyone else to do her work. If she asked Jeongyeon then that only means she doesn't want to see him again after the studio incident.

Wonshik understands but he also curses his soulmate's existence. If only the stupid red thread of fate could stop interfering with his life. Especially if it doesn't plan on introducing him to his soulmate soon.

"I'm heading downstairs for practice. If you guys need anything, do it yourself" Jeongyeon says, sticking her tongue out at Daehyun before leaving.

-

Wonshik's gut feeling is correct. Haneul reverts to her respectful behavior where she never interacts with him directly.

He hopes to clarify the situation but with his tight schedule, he barely sees her in the studio building. She's very effective at avoiding people and he's terrible at trying to figure out a way to approach her that doesn't come off as stalkerish or aggressive.

So he resigns himself to waiting. He doesn't push her and the rest of the crew has noticed the cooled tension so they don't tease him either. Though no one knows exactly what went wrong, they sense that something is up and leave the two alone.

"Did Hannie reject you?" Chiwoong asks when they are alone in the changing rooms.

The rooms are small and the two of them charitably let the rest of the crew change first after the water bomb festival. As cool as the festival performances look, wet clothes in the humid heat really don't improve anyone's mood.

"Not exactly" Wonshik says carefully.

"You made a move and she turned you down? Or did you realize that you actually didn't want to pursue your crush?" he asks.

The younger is curious because he knows that Haneul was just as attracted to Wonshik as he was to her. The sudden apathy to each other does not compute.

"Things… happened and she made it clear that she wasn't interested in me. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable" Wonshik tells him.

"That sucks. I hope you feel better soon" Chiwoong says, putting a hand on Wonshik's shoulder. Wonshik nods and the two of them finish changing in silence.

The event staff have begun packing up and the Groovl1n crew are some of the last to leave the venue.

"Chiwoong, you're in the first van. Jeongyeon and Haneul will travel with us because it's a bigger and safer vehicle" Daehyun tells the pair. Chiwoong shares a look with Wonshik before walking over to the first van.

"Just murder me, why don't you" he says, not actually meaning to say it out loud.

"I do so in my head at least five times a day" Daehyun says rushing him along.

Wonshik sighs and climbs in. The only seat left is the one all the way in the back with Haneul next to  one window and Inseob to the other. This is the universe being completely cruel to him. But at least the middle seat opens to the aisle and hence has more leg space.

It's a two hour ride back to the city and everyone has the same agenda of using the time to nap. Inseob has already dozed off, pulling his cap down to cover his face and Haneul has tuned out, gazing out of the window as if the cloudy sky above holds answers to the universe.

Wonshik plugs in his headphones and leans back. There is enough space for all three of them to be seated without bodily contact and he is grateful for the small mercies.

The van starts and enters the crowded highway. The slow pace is compounded with the rain starting and Wonshik knows it'll be a good three hours to the city now. He closes his eyes.

He's too wide awake for a nap so he decides to scroll through Twitter on his private account. The general reviews of their performance at positive and some fansites already have pictures out. He saves some good ones to share on the group chat later.

While replying to some of his messages, he looks towards Haneul from the corner of his eye. Her eyes keep closing and her head tilts as she drifts in and out of sleep. Her elbow props up her head but Wonshik anticipates her getting hurt should the van brake suddenly over bumps.

He shifts closer to her and gently pulls her head to rest on his shoulder. He's just being a good friend, he reasons. She could get hurt and he is preventing that. He'll pull away before she wakes up and hopefully she won't mind when she realizes it.

Haneul unconsciously wraps her arms around the arm she is resting on and nuzzles into his shoulder. Wonshik stares, never expecting her to move closer to him. Her body is warm and she fits like a puzzle piece that's custom made for him.

His finger tugs violently but Wonshik no longer cares. Backed with the adrenaline rush of the epiphany of his feelings, he kisses her forehead. Haneul sleepily asks for five more minutes to sleep a little more and he has never been more endeared.

He resolves to clear up any misunderstandings between them the moment they are back in Seoul.

-

Wonshik doesn't get a chance till five days later.

The Nirvana II launch party is coming up next. Haneul and Minhun practice together more and more while Wonshik runs the TV show promotional circuit. On his request, they decide to practice late at night after shootings and he gets his chance to talk to her alone.

"Hey" he says awkwardly when both of them sit down. Minhun just left and Haneul decides to stay back for half an hour so they can practice the performance a few more times.

The car ride has reduced some of the awkwardness between the two. Practicing together also helps. It's a slow climb back to the carefree friendship established earlier.

"Hi" Haneul says. She's more tired than he is after dancing the entire day. He passes her a bottle of water and she thanks him.

"We don't have to practice more if you feel tired" he suggests. "I'll run through it alone and we can practice together in the morning before I leave for my shoot."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something" Haneul starts, putting the water bottle aside.

"It's about what happened in the studio that day, isn't it? I am so sorry. Something else shocked me and I reacted without thinking. It was a mistake and I hope you didn't take it the wrong way" Wonshik apologizes first.

"A mistake…" Haneul trails off.

"Yeah. I didn't mean anything by it" Wonshik assures her.

"I understand" Haneul says thoughtfully. "I figured as much but things were already awkward by that point."

"I'm sorry about that" he adds.

"I'm sorry as well. It was my fault too" she replies.

"Forgive and forget?" he asks and she nods.

"Are you doing anything after practice? It's not that late but maybe we can grab some food?"

"Wonshik, you don't have to go out of your way to smooth things out. I'm fine with this arrangement honestly."

It's the first time she has addressed him with his name. Wonshik doesn't understand what just happened. Didn't they just work everything out?

"I think I'll just head home. We're fine with the choreography anyways" she says standing up and dusting her tracks.

"Wait" Wonshik says, following her. "Are you still mad at me for something?"

"I'm not" she replies, keeping her tone as neutral as possible. "I understand completely. Not everyone has a romantic relationship with their soulmate. Honestly I'm glad you wanted to be friends and it's good that we cleared it up before more misunderstandings happened."

"What do you mean by soulmates?" Wonshik asks, paling a little. It couldn't be… had he really been that blind?

"What else did you… Wait, did you even know that I was your soulmate?" Haneul realizes. No wonder he looks confused. In an instant, everything is clear for both of them.

Haneul looks him in the eye and takes his hand. The tug of the red string is there, as clear as day. Wonshik can't believe that he has been this stupid.

"It wasn't even a possibility for you, was it?" Haneul asks. Her voice is shaky and eyes glassy, all betraying the hurt she feels.

"No. It wasn't like that. Haneul I swear it wasn't -" Wonshik panics. This is not what he wanted to do. Haneul has the wrong idea. She couldn't be farther from the truth.

"Excuse me" she says before grabbing her bag and leaving the studio. Her firm tone prevents Wonshik from saying anything. He's a minute too late in following her out because she is out of sight by the time he is in the corridor.

-

"Did he stay here the entire night practicing?" Jeongyeon asks Minhun. Minhun looks at Wonshik  who has fallen asleep while sitting against the mirror in the dance practice room.

"I think he did" Minhun says, deducing it from the clothes he was wearing. No one in the room wants to disturb him after looking at his worn out face.

Chiwoong peeks into the dance practice room and finds Minhun and Jeongyeon in the middle of their dilemma.

"Daehyun hyung has been looking everywhere for him. He wasn't answering his phone" he explains.

"It must have switched off" Minhun reasons.

"I'll call hyung. He can come pick Wonshik hyung up" Chiwoong agrees.

The three of them sit down silently so that they don't disturb Wonshik. Promotions are always a stressful time and they sympathize. The life of an idol is not easy.

The door opens and Chiwoong looks up to see Haneul enter while rubbing her eyes. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and shoulders hunched. The day has barely begun but everyone in the room looks tired already.

"Sorry I'm late. I couldn't sleep at all last night" she says, stifling a yawn. Jeongyeon hushes her and points to the sleeping man by the mirror.

"We think he slept here. We're waiting for Daehyun hyung to pick him up for his schedule" Chiwoong tells her. Haneul nods in understanding. She glances at Wonshik and takes a minute to make up her mind.

She walks over to him and kneels down next to Wonshik. She taps on his shoulder and he stirs.

"Kim Sajang" Haneul says gently, tapping his shoulder again. He grunts in response before sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"You slept in the practice room" she tells him when he looks around in a daze. The room is too bright and it takes him a moment.

"I was waiting for you" he tells her sleepily. She freezes and everyone else pretends not to have heard him say that.

"You're mistaking me for Daehyun" she replies firmly.

"No. I really meant you" he insists, wide awake now. "I have to talk to you."

"We'll give you both some space" Jeongyeon says, pushing Minhun out of the room already. Haneul panics and almost leaves herself but Wonshik puts his hand on hers, pleading silently for her to listen to him.

"Just let me know if I have to kick hyung's ass later" Chiwoong tells her before leaving. He gives the couple an awkward thumbs up before closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" Haneul asks him.

"I need to clarify everything. Properly this time" he stresses. Haneul's lip press together but she nods and sits down with her legs folded.

"I like you. A lot. For the past few days I have been having a crisis because I thought you weren't my soulmate. I knew by the tugging on my finger that they were somewhere nearby. I never guessed it was you because there were too many new people present when we met and I couldn't tell" he explains, speaking in one breathe.

"How long have you known that you had a soulmate?" she asks.

"The day I met the new dance crew. How did you know?" he asks her.

"You walked in in the middle of the dance practice and I felt it for the first time. Every time after that only confirmed it" she tells him.

"We've known for the same amount of time then" he thinks.

"I thought you knew too and that you didn't like me so you never reacted or brought the topic up. I honestly thought I disappointed you."

"You didn't. You could never."

"It's not that simple. You're… you Wonshik. The most talented and dedicated and frankly, handsome person ever. There was no way I could measure up. To add to the complications, you were my boss too. I worked my ass off to become a dancer and if you didn't like me, I could be kicked off the crew. I couldn't risk it."

"I wouldn't have. After that day in the studio, I thought you hated me for leaving."

"And I thought you left because you hated me."

"We're quite a pair."

"Tell me about it."

Wonshik lets go of her hand and Haneul takes the opportunity to sit down next to him. Both of them are on the same page now but the pages afterwards are blank.

"It's funny that you couldn't tell that I liked you because everyone else knew instantly" Wonshik laughs.

"What can I say, I am very dumb of ass" Haneul admits. She huffs and he grins.

"And you? Do you like me too?" Wonshik asks. It may be too soon for the question but Wonshik instinctively knows that if he doesn't ask now, he will never get the chance again.

Haneul blushes as she nods and Wonshik almost yells with joy. He leans forward and kisses her on her forehead and she helps, pushing him away.

"Can I take you on a date? Once the mixtape releases, I will have more free time. We can't go somewhere public but we can definitely do anything else you like" he promises.

"I'd like that" she agrees. Wonshik wonders whether the warmth in his chest is growing because his heartbeat has picked up or because Haneul is smiling at him. He decides that both factors are equally responsible.

"Hannie?" he asks. She hums in response, happier now that he uses her nickname to address her. He leans in and kisses her on her nose.

"Wonshik" she calls, and leans forward to kiss him on his cheek. They giggle, knowing this is extremely silly but also cute and heartwarming at the same time.

"If you both are quite done with your disgusting PDA" Daehyun says impatiently while tapping his foot on the floor. Both of them yell and start, jumping five feet apart.

"Hyung?!" Wonshik exclaims, embarrassed on having company.

"I tried stopping him but he insisted that you would be late for your hair appointment" Chiwoong explains, gesturing to Daehyun apologetically. Minhun and Jeongyeon nod behind him in support.

"Kill me now" Haneul says more to herself but everyone in the room echoes the sentiment.

"We need to rush but I am going to talk to both of you once we are back" Daehyun says, pulling Wonshik away. Wonshik whines and doesn't want to budge, looking at Haneul for support.

"I'll wait for you after practice" she promises him. He sighs and gets up, following Daehyun who loudly expresses his disgust for whipped romantic couples.

Wonshik gives a last wave to Haneul who waves back at him before being accosted by Chiwoong and Jeongyeon for details. He closes the door but can still hear Minhun yell at everyone to stop wasting precious practice time.

After days of anguish, it feels like things are going to be just fine for the two of them.

-

[youngjae-sohn]

be alright

summary: maybe things were gonna be alright

cast: seongwoo; you

genres: angst; romance

w.c: 742

his jaw drops slightly. he feels the small pit in his stomach grow and his eyes start to glaze over.

you look down at the floor. in your left hand, there’s the engagement ring seongwoo proposed to you with three months ago.

there’s silence for who knows how long.

“i can’t do this anymore.”

he thinks you’re joking. seongwoo thinks that you would drop the gloomy look and smile while running to hug him with a “gotcha!”

but you don’t. instead, you put the ring on the coffee table before grabbing the handle of gray suitcase. 

“i’m sorry.”

seongwoo is frozen in place.

he doesn’t stop you from leaving.

he can’t.

.

his jaw drops slight. he feels the small pit in his stomach grow and his eyes start to glaze over.

you look down at the floor.

in your left hand is jaehwan’s right hand. on each of your index fingers, there’s a matching silver ring.

“hyung...”

before jaehwan can continue, seongwoo grabs his coffee off the counter and makes for the door. it’s when he’s sitting in his car, trying his best not to slam his fists on the steering wheel, he realizes that there’s nothing he can do.

so seongwoo drives to work and lets his emotions take the reins from there.

he cries.

and his coffee sits forgotten in the cup holder.

.

“ask her out dude!”

seongwoo backs away from his friends and stuffs his letter back in his pocket.

“no way! she’s way out of my league.”

“oh~ho, is ong seongwoo afraid of being rejected?” his teacher sets his laptop down on the podium and crosses his arms while sending a smirk over to the group of six boys.

“no!”

“liar,” his friends and teacher tease in unison.

one week.

it takes one week for seongwoo to be persuaded into giving you the letter. jaehwan has to swear on his life that he’ll go with seongwoo.

the two of them are walking across campus to go into your department’s building. seongwoo can feel the stares of his peers and starts to hesitate.

“hey maybe we shou—”

“there she is!” jaehwan points a finger in your direction and starts to push seongwoo from behind.

“hey stop! i can’t do this anymore!”

you can hear two voices in the distance screaming at each other to just “get it over with coward!”

you look up from your laptop and see ong seongwoo and kim jaehwan pushing each other. your heart races. he looks absolutely adorable in his flannel and slightly messy hair. 

it beats faster when you realize they’re coming in your direction.

the two of them stop three feet away from you and you look up at them with slightly pink cheeks.

seongwoo can feel his heart beating way too fast as he takes the letter out and gives it to you. you look up at the duo with wide eyes.

seongwoo doesn’t realize that you were looking at jaehwan the whole time.

.

he looks down in his hands at the creme colored piece of card stock. he feels that familiar pit in his stomach again.

you are cordially invited...

seongwoo doesn’t bother to read the rest of the invitation. he already knows what it is from glancing at the fancy border around the card and the heart in between your’s and jaehwan’s name.

he plops down on the couch and stares at the ceiling.

he doesn’t know if he should go or not. seongwoo thinks about it as he lays in bed; he drifts off the sleep before he can decide.

the next morning, he checks yes and sends the invite back.

.

seongwoo stands alone at the reception hall, a glass of champagne in hand while he watches everyone dance together. jaehwan in on stage, singing with the band; you’re nowhere to be found.

“i’m glad you could come.”

your voice takes him off guard; he almost drops the glass.

seongwoo starts to feel the pit in his stomach again. it brings him back to that night. and he hates this feeling.

“couldn’t miss my two best friends getting married now, could i?” he jokes. you can hear the sadness in his voice. you decide not to say anything.

“i’m sorry.”

you and seongwoo stare at each other in shock.

instead of continuing, the two of you just laugh and nod before heading off to the dance floor together.

things were going to be alright.

[bambyeol]

Radio FM (For me.) (final)

disclaimer : i can’t link the first part because Tumblr removes my fic from the searches if I link the first part ughsduashdihidas 

pairing/s: DJ Jaehwan ! x OC  

genre: angst, fluff , song-fic 

summary: DJ Jaehwan composes a song for a heartbroken listener not knowing he was the one who broke her heart.

“That was the greatest show yet. People never run out of heart-fluttering stories to tell, don’t they?” Jaehwan raved, still basking in the energy he said the show gave him. Agreeing with his previous statement and acknowledging his efforts, you nod.

“Thank you, Yeonrin.” he said in such an endearing tone as you two waited for the elevator to bring you down to the ground floor.

“You can stop thanking me, Jaehwan. You know I needed you too.”

Jaehwan gave you an exaggerated look as though he was unspeakably flattered. You wanted to hit him in the head playfully but decided against it, knowing that the simple gesture will open up gates and bring back feelings which were otherwise already thrown away. But were they really? Why does your heart keep beating this fast, then?

At a nearby convenience store, you both decided to stop for a drink before walking to the subway station on the way home, a routine that the two of you naturally got into.

“So..Jaehwan. You and Gayoung.” Trying to sound as casual as you can, as though this was simply a talk over a drink with a friend, you asked him.  “How did things go?”

“Still going. Can you believe it?” Jaehwan took a sip from his drink and giggled. “It’s been a full decade.”

You just smiled and listened to the rest of his stories with staged interest. Them going to the same university. Graduating together. Finding jobs as close as possible to one another and finally, what hit you the hardest, them finally moving into their own quaint apartment. “It’s small,” he says. “But it’s our own and it’s perfect.”

A perfect home for their perfect love story.

And here you were -  the shattered bystander.

The past week’s episodes were filled with first love stories, fluttering proposals, touching reunions. Not a single heartbreak story ever since he started the show. You thought this was quite odd. Where in the world were the other people who had their hearts broken like you did?

And then an idea crossed your mind. One that had more of a personal motive. Your mind has been tugging at you ever since you met Jaehwan again. Was it that you wanted him to know your side of a decade-old tale? However futile the effort may be? Or was it because, seeing him again, you thought it was the sign of another chance?

None of this matters.

At least, you’ll finally have a song especially written for you. At least, it was by him.

---

“He was a high school acquaintance who had a passion for music like no other person I knew at the time. We did not know each other until senior year came along and even then, we didn’t have the most pleasant of first meetings. But eventually, I found myself admiring his talent and his determination. We talked sporadically throughout the year, bonding over his songs and music in general. Right when I thought he felt the same way about me, he confessed to a girl. With my favorite song of his.”

The office floor was dark and silent except for a desk lamp shedding its yellowish glow on the far corner of the room and the sound of you typing away inside your cubicle. As is common when you had some extra work to accomplish, you stayed back, asking Jaehwan not to wait up for you as he had to do his own preparations for the next day’s show.

You read your entry again and again, making sure it was exactly at the line between vague and excessively specific. Despite wanting to get your message to him, you weren’t exactly sure if it would be to your convenience that he knew it was from you. You simply wanted to hear from him since your connection, if it could even be called a connection, was so abruptly interrupted.

The block of text stayed in your screen for what seemed like ages as you swiveled in your office chair again and again, as if the continuous turning would help you muster the courage to click the button.

And though it felt ridiculous, feeding audience content to your own show, you clicked send and shut your laptop without second thoughts.

----

Jaehwan entered the broadcast room the following evening with his forehead creased in deep thought. Right then and there, you thought he figured you out. But when you asked him why he came in looking like he had the world on his shoulders….

“I’m just internalizing. The story today is quite...heartbreaking, for once.” So he did read it, and he actually chose it. Although, there were no signs of suspicion in his features.

Quite heartbreaking. An understatement. In your case, anyways.

You heaved a sigh, but whether it was a sigh of relief or a sigh to brace yourself for what was to come, you had no clue.

“Yeonrin, 2 minutes.” a colleague got your attention and you sat down in your chair, trying to pull your mind back to work.

“Jaehwan-ah, all set?”

“Yep.” he pulled in his chair, positioning his face directly in front of the mic.

Within the two minutes before the start of the show, he went through the mental list he had: the lyrics he wrote, the chords of the song, and the advice he wanted to give. Contrary to what you thought, that moment ten years ago did cross his mind by the time he finished reading the entry. However, he simply acknowledged the similarities between the confession and nothing else. He never considered that his own confession resulted in the heartbreak of another.

“Our story today is a bit different from the content of the past week. A love that was stopped by a sudden confession. You listeners may be wondering ‘Huh? But confessions usually start up a relationship, don’t they?’” He started, putting on a silly voice which was supposed to mimic the audience.

You almost laugh as he struggled to keep the atmosphere appropriate to today’s story. Kim Jaehwan’s antics can be really out of place.

“That’s not wrong, dear listeners. But the said confession, sadly, was not directed to our letter sender. Yes, the hidden love that blossomed in her heart was not returned. And she witnessed someone she loved confess to someone else.”

He proceeded by reading the very words you wrote the night before, and it seemed like you were back in that cramped and humid broadcasting room on that last day as he uttered your story from his own mouth.

“Before I sing for this sender tonight, let me give my two cents. It is possible that you invalidated your feelings after such confession happened. But you had every right to those feelings, being human. Do not despise yourself for hanging onto them. But now, time has passed and both of you have your own stories to write. Acceptance will come with time and distance.”

And with that, he introduced his song, started strumming his guitar, inducing a melancholic tune.

Park Ji Min - Hopeless Love

I know there’s no hope, so every time I look at you It’s so hard, because I love you so much It hurts so much when you say I’m just a friend I’m standing outside the line that I can’t ever cross

It hurts but why can’t I turn away? This hopeless love In your eyes that look at me, there aren’t any feelings that are like mine It’s such a sad thing to know your heart

He finished the song and for a few seconds there was a resounding silence inside the broadcast room, all of the employees, bosses and assistants alike, had expressions as if their own hearts were touched by the music they just heard.

Jaehwan looked up from inside the booth and you stood up and moved your chair so that your back was to him. You had no assurance that your face did not completely mirror your heart.

Soft applause finally filled the room and Jaehwan wrapped up the show with his signature closing credits as you were left to organize the thoughts running through your head while pretending to be occupied by the control buttons.

Acceptance, time, distance. You’ve got the latter two taken care of, what with you having been away from him for a decade. But acceptance.

It felt hopeless.

---

It felt like the world was mocking your plea for closure, a stab to your desperation when Jaehwan’s song for you, “the anonymous sender”, became a big hit, ranking number 1 in the most-searched on Naver and opening up petitions for a complete song.

Several agencies winded up getting interested, sending their offers to Jaehwan to be under their label to which he dutifully declined, opting to use the radio station instead as means of publishing the full version.

“Why’d you reject the offers?”

“Oh. It would be better if it would be under the radio station still. Besides, I don’t want to make money out of someone’s heartache. That song was for her alone.”

“Oh.” you remain silent, pondering on his words, heart beating rapidly uncontrollably. You tuck stray hair behind your ear, “I’m sure she agrees.”

You look up. For sure, if Jaehwan just met your eyes then, he’d know. You were willing to let it slip, to finally come undone, to lay down the secrets you kept for 10 years.

Even if it meant a rejection was on-hand.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he busily rummages in his bag until he grabs a hold of a thin white envelope. A little too fancy, with the embossed gold patterns, and the emboldened letters.

You are invited to…

“Right. I’m sorry what were you saying again?” Jaehwan faces you, the white envelope bound to be passed to your now opened palms.

You didn’t know when you unfurled your palms as if you were expecting it.  You shake your head before staring at the envelope.

“No. It’s nothing…”

“I wanted to invite you,” he starts. Every word after that became heavier. It was like quicksand - the more you tried to move, the more you sunk into that feeling of helplessness.

“We’re going to get married. I mean.. I wanted us to get married first before we moved together, but being a musician was tough. But now, with my job and how the show’s a success, there’s nothing hindering us anymore.” he swung his arms animatedly, a mixture of embarrassment, joy and most of all endearment.

“Really. You always save me, Yeonrin. More than being my guardian angel. The more I think about it, you’re our guardian angel.” That was the finishing blow. Your heart was crushed completely, tears just a word away from spilling.You look down, regretting sending your story for the first time.

“That’s why, I’ll really appreciate it if you will come. You’re someone special to us. “

But I wanted to be the one special for you. You thought grimly.

“I can’t.” you reply immediately even before you could form a tactful rejection to the invitation. “Ah. I mean…”  you scramble for a reply, and a stray tear falls across your cheek.  You wipe it off immediately hoping Jaehwan wouldn’t have caught it, but he did and he reached for your wrist in concern.

“Yeonrin?” he asks softly. You swat  him away, retreating into a fetal position and the tears didn’t stop. He bends down, rubbing your back though unsure why you suddenly bursted.

Kim Jaehwan always can’t read the atmosphere for the love of God.

“I’m sorry,” you croak.  “I can’t.”

“No. No. It’s totally okay. I mean, you don’t need to come if you can’t,” a flustered Jaehwan replies still missing the mark.

With one deep breath, you momentarily pause the tears on your eyes.  “I can’t wish you happiness, Jaehwan.” You half-smile.

“Not back then, and definitely not now. I’ve always.” your arms folded atop her knees. “I’ve always, really, loved you.” you confess.

He freezes, “How long?” It was the only thing he could form despite the multiple questions rounding up his mind.

“Senior year.” you reply curtly, sniffling.

“Why didn’t you..” his question was left hanging, but you understood

You laugh mirthlessly, “How could I? When you beat me to it and confessed to Gayoung. I really thought that you liked me too. I guess that what we were was just confined in that broadcasting room. Similar to what we are now.”

“I sent that story.” you open up. “The one whose song became a hit, but even until now, all that I am is just a guardian angel. A person who leads you to where you wanted to be. “

His lips were pressed into a thin line. It hurt him that you endured everything, but he knew where his heart laid.

It will never be with you.

“I’m sorry.” he concludes

You nod understandingly.

“Thank you.” you bite your lips and muster up a smile. “It may have taken 10 years, but you finally sang for me.”

He nods, hands delicately removing his touch from your back until it’s beside him again.

--

Although many have requested for a full version of the song, Jaehwan did not sing it anymore and it was soon forgotten.

On the night of his wedding, you received an anonymous email with an mp3 file attached.

To my guardian angel...

-fin-

a/n : i will never be not sad over this fic :< my friend and I long completed this fic and I just really forgot to update it. I”M SO SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO HARD TO READ FOR ME WITH THE HEARTBREAK. wanna one is disbanding soon also :< i’ll miss them dearly but writing for them has been such a gift. I remember typing in the middle of the night, fueled by their songs (and Day6 of course) . I wish to continue writing for them before they disband, but in the case that I won’t be able too, this mini author’s note will serve as a thank you for all the readers who read my fics. For all your support, and for all your patience as I continually break my promise of “i’ll post it soon” . Thank you for staying ;-; . Thank you for all your kind words. It’s been a great pleasure to write for you all.

[kjhwannaone]

Concussion - A Kim Jaehwan AU

characters: Kim Jaehwan!reader

genre: fluff

rating: bit of swearing, thats pretty much it

word count: 2351

summary: childhood friends who drifted after secondary school. you finally reconnect and it gets you is a headache - and maybe more. 

Kim Jaehwan was unethically handsome; It literally offended you. The other girls at school would stare at his friends, albeit they were STUNNING but Jaehwan got on your fucking nerves. He didn’t style his hair, his outfits looked like they were pulled off the god damn runway, but you knew they usually stayed crumpled at the bottom of the wardrobe and his cheeks were to die for. His best friend, Hwang Minhyun had girls (and boys alike) pawing at him as he left one class and started the other, and even then, the teachers looked like they’d be sending love notes. But Jaehwan – god, Jaehwan – was completely, utterly unaware of his immense beauty. Which pissed you off so much more.

You had grown up with Jaehwan, from the tender age of 3 up until now, turning 18. You were very close when you were children; your names were both vandalised and immortalised into the oak tree at your school when he stole a compass from math class and carved it so wholesomely (messily) into its grooves. Little did the both of you know, that later, when starting the brink of your teenage lives, that you would drift and land here, where you are now, in the slap bang centre of nowhere. You didn’t talk. At all.

You had found your way in with other people through mutual friends and he just ascended to the top. The hierarchy system wasn’t apparent in the school you went to but the hotter you were the further you were up.

There were no hard feelings between the two of you, oh absolutely not, you were extremely civil. That included just ignoring each other but in the last year or so, maybe more he was really starting to aggravate you. His friends were lovely, and they were the sweethearts of the entire school adored by teachers and all and he was a part of that little cliché. It was cute, but it was starting to piss you off. You were a star pupil, well-read, naturally gamine and Jaehwan didn’t give you a second glance. He had grown out of the little seed to a huge oak tree (One that absolutely DID NOT have your names carved into it).

The hardest thing for you to admit? The reason why you were so angry was because you fancied the HELL out of him.

Your best friend knew this. Every time you were even in shouting distance with one another, she would look around and keep a close look of any signs of contact. You weren’t hoping for much, it wasn’t like Jaehwan was going to confess his love anytime soon, so you just let her do it. Her analysis of events happening was that he would just so coincidentally walk past your desk to get to the door. It was hopeless – that was the only route he could take.

 It was the Thursday before you broke up for the Christmas break and you couldn’t wait to spend a few weeks lounging in bed. You hadn’t been much of a fan of school, though you were a top student. The sound of a holiday sounded extremely appealing right now.

“You have an essay due on the Tuesday you get back, no less than 1,500 words. I want to know what you think of Communism through history though please, don’t try and analyse all of the countries that have been affected, just pick one…” Your teacher’s voice drained out of your ears as you watched Jaehwan pick up his bag and start to pack it away. You hated leaving after him so you rushed your best friend through the door and into the hallway where it was bustling and freezing cold.

“What country do you think you’ll do your essay on?” You ask your best friend beside you who is picking at mark on her hand.

“To be honest with you Y/N I don’t even think I know what Communism is, so I’ll let you know the Monday before its due in.” she said. You felt a tug at your shoe and realise that your laces are undone.

“Hold on,” you murmured to your friend who didn’t hear you and kept walking. You bent down, bag struggling to stay on balance as you go through the notion of tying your laces. As you double knotted you felt someone hit the back of you and proceed to fall the whole way over you and knocking you in the head with such a big crash that you felt your brain shake. You curse and hold onto your neck.

“Oh, good god! I am so sorry!” you felt the hands of someone come around your shoulders to lift you up slightly to check your face. The look of panic raised in his face. “Y/N, oh my god, are you alright? I didn’t even look where I was going.”

Kim Jaehwan was holding the sides of your neck, looking very close into your eyes, checking if you are okay. Your vision goes slightly lopsided and you feel extremely dizzy but that might be just him. “Y/N can you hear me? Oh god have you died?”

“Jae…Hwan I’m just um,” you can’t get your words out. Thank the lord that he hit your head, you’d look like a quivering idiot if you couldn’t even tell him that you were alright with a brain that hadn’t just been shaken. “Sorry, my head hurts.”

“Hold on,” He slowly lowered your head and touched where he hit. “Oh Jesus there is no blood. I was so worried I’d have to pay up for insurance.”

“Thanks.” You whispered trying to gather your thoughts as people around you started to get angry at the fact that the both of you were having a tête-à-tête in the middle of the public corridor.

“I’m joking Y/N, come on, let me help you up.”

“I don’t know if I can get up yet. I’m feeling so… dizzy.”

Jaehwan thought for a moment, his cheeks bunching below his eyes and he put his arms underneath yours and lifted you more. “Come on, I have an idea.”

 ***

Jaehwan. Driving.

You never thought the two of them could be put together.

Put there he was sat in the driver’s seat, hands casually resting at top the steering wheel, his fingers tapping to the music that was playing through the speakers. His tongue was slightly out of his mouth, a look on concentration. You believed you had died when he knocked you down in the hallway and went all the way to heaven.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jaehwan asked, looking at you with cautious eyes but then quickly back to the road. His body was slightly slanted towards yours.

“I think so.” You say dizzily. He looked at you again worried and just continued driving.

 It was a comfortable silence and you almost pretended to be asleep to bask in his company, but you could hear him shifting in his seat. He must be uncomfortable.

“What country are you going to look at in terms of communism?” he asked.

“Probably China. I listened during those classes and not any of the other ones so that might be the best bet.” You laughed. He followed by with a giggle that you remember from you misbehaving as a child – you’d always get in trouble and he’d just be giggling behind you.

“You always seem like you pay attention in class.” He said.

 As you were driving, he suddenly jumped up.

“Oh, is it okay if I stop by the shop? I need to pick up a few things for a dinner later.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” You were feeling a little less dizzy now, so you were sat up straight and able to respond well to him. “Kim Jaehwan are you actually going to be cooking a meal?”

“Yeah – it’s technically a date with this girl I met, but I’m not sure what to cook. I think she’s a vegetarian.”

Your heart sank. You didn’t know what you’d expected, Jaehwan was a catch, and you hadn’t spoken since you both were prepubescent, but you almost wanted him to always be single until he realised that he had loved you all these years. I mean that’s what you had dreamed for, you knew it was a stupid dream, but it was what it was.

“Oh, I see.”

“I can blow it off though, if you need me to take you to the hospital or something.” You felt his pity of you being a loner. He knew that no one else would drive you anywhere.

“No,” you said softly and pretended to be dizzy again. He parked the car and got out leaving you to rest your head on the cool glass of the window cursing yourself for your stupidity and wondering where the closest bus stop was to absolutely fuck off out of there. You didn’t want to face him again. You knew you hadn’t technically embarrassed yourself, but you felt an overwhelming sense of embarrassment anyway.

 About 5 minutes later, he returned. You watched from a distance as he walked from the store to the car, a little shimmy in his step and a smile on his face. It made you want to cry even more.

“Ah,” He was exasperated as he sat down and smiled at you fondly. “Here,” he passed you a water bottle, a can of coke and a packet of Malteasers. “Water to keep you hydrated, coke to get your sugar levels up, and Malteasers because they are your favourite.” Before you could say anything, he started the car back up and the music was on. He pulled into the road and you were off driving again.

 He was singing along to all the songs on his playlist so playfully you couldn’t help but laugh. You dug into your little picnic and pretended like your only thoughts wasn’t about Jaehwan with another girl.

“AH,” Jaehwan said. You looked over and his mouth was as wide as he could make it, eyes still on the road. You were confused. “AH!” he said, his mouth straining to get bigger. You plucked a Malteasers out of the bag and put it in his mouth, to which sufficed his unspoken request. He chewed it happily while humming to the music.

 The car journey was coming to an end and you wanted to yell. You missed Jaehwan and you hadn’t realised how much until it had come down to it. He had stolen many of your Malteasers and took a sip out of the water bottle through a straw he had in his car and played old songs that you both used to enjoy as kids. The car stopped, and you expected the end.

“Wait,” He got out of the car and ran around the side to open your door. When it was opened he held out his hand and put it around his shoulders. You wanted to tell him to stop but then again you really didn’t want to tell him to stop. He walked you up the driveway and knocked on the door.

“Jaehwan?” Your mum looked surprised to see you and your childhood best friend at the door, you are clinging on for dear life since walking made you dizzier and him smiling very widely.

“Hiya, Mrs Y/L/N. We fell over each other in the corridor and I drove her home because she was feeling dizzy – it might be a concussion, but I don’t know. She is okay though, I promise! I took good care of her!” He smiled sweetly, and your mum helped you out of his arms.

“Thank you, Jaehwan. It’s been nice seeing you.

“You too Mrs Y/L/N,” you balanced yourself on the door frame to bid him a goodbye as your mum walked back into the house. It was all coming to an end.

“Thank you Jaehwan for helping me today.” You said softly.

“No, I am sorry for literally almost killing you,” He smiled and noticed that your eyes were drooping a little. He walked up closer and lifted your head up by your chin and smiled at you. “It’s been so nice though, seeing you, even though it was under not the best circumstances.”

“Yeah,” you said softly. “Thank you Jaehwannie.”

“Go and get some rest,” He said, walking away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You watched him drive away and wanted to cry, scream, laugh and jump for joy. You went in and your mum was quite pleased too. Though, wasn’t too pleased about the fact you pretty much did, have concussion.

 ***

A message pinged in your inbox at around 10ish that night.

Jaehwan: How you feeling?

Y/N: Have been better, I think the Malteasers were the remedy though I must say.

Jaehwan: I’m glad to hear. I am so sorry again.

Y/N: I promise you it’s okay. How did cooking go for your date?

Jaehwan: Ah I cancelled. I didn’t really know her and, I don’t like any green food. Seemed pointless to me.

Y/N: Ah I see, hopefully you can reschedule.

Jaehwan: How about when your head gets better we can try and cook together for me to say sorry about killing your brain? Mud pies were our forte when we were younger, but we can try some actual food later this week?

Y/N: Hey, I made a mean mud pie but yes, I think that will be fun. What day?

Jaehwan: Sunday night?

Y/N: Sounds good to me, Jaehwannie.

Jaehwan: Good, I’ll pick you up around 6. Oh, and Y/N?

Y/N: Yeah?

Jaehwan: This isn’t the concussion talking right?

Y/N: I don’t believe it is, Jaehwan. 6 on Sunday sounds good to me.

Jaehwan: Good. Then it’s a date. A real one.

Jaehwan: Oh, and Y/N?

Y/N: Yes Jaehwan…

Jaehwan: Sleep well. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning for school, so you don’t need to take the bus.

Y/N: You don’t have to, but if you do, bring Malteasers.

Jaehwan: Oh obviously, I bought loads when I went to the shop – they are your favourite. Goodnight x

HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY FIRST TIME WRITING!!!! <3 

[pinksausageduo]

kim jaehwan|enemies to lovers

gif @onqs​

member: kim jaehwan genre: fluffy  summary: school au! enemies to lovers au! jaehwan and you were rivals from the moment both of you stepped into high school but you never expected him to audition for the female lead role in the play AND GET IT??!! but one late night some paint, confessions and kisses. a lot can change. requested: not really? enemies to lovers series: bae jinyoung | ong seongwoo | park jihoon | kim jaehwan | lai guanlin | ha sungwoon | hwang minhyun | yoon jisung

you look at the cast list in absolute shock and disgust 

the realisation of what's happened slowly dawned on you

and before you know it you scream 

"KIM JAEHWAN IM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!"

jaehwan looks at you like a deer in headlights

he takes one look at the list and smirks and gives a little scoff

from that small action you snapped 

he realised that the moment you started to sprint towards him

"oh fucking shit" was the last three words he said before you chased him all around the school

you guys got all the way to the cafeteria with him sweating buckets and you screaming insults at him

right before you got to him you felt someone's arms wrap around your waist

you whip your head around to see minhyun 

and he said to you in his most soothing voice he said to you

"y/n calm down doing anything to jaehwan won't help" 

you were glaring daggers at minhyun for being right but you did relax slightly 

and before you could reply back jaehwan bluntly said to you while panting 

"wow y/n you really are fucking crazy it's only a stupid school play what the fuck is wrong with you?" 

you could feel the prickle in your eyes and all you wanted to do was slap jaehwan 

but you couldn't instead you just whispered "fuck you" and you cringed as you could hear the hurt in your voice 

and before anyone could utter a sound you walked out of there with everyone looking at you 

you could hear jisung berating jaehwan in the distance 

but you didn't care one single bit and the moment you got to the bathroom you sobbed your heart out 

you knew jaehwan was right it was a stupid school play but to you it was the chance for a scholarship and an actual decent future in music/drama 

and of course that chance was snatched up by mr golden music student 

jaehwan and you had been rivals from the moment you guys entered in high school

choirs, plays, musicals, bands anything related to music or drama 

you guys would compete for the solo, top spot, first selection and the list went on 

it was always pretty tense between you two

this was the last year of high school for both of you

and your one and only chance to get a scholarship to major music at university 

you thought that you'd have the female lead role no problem

but you didn't expect jaehwan to audition

he stupidly auditioned for the female role for a bet with sungwoon, daniel and seongwoo 

and the fact that he got the role even though he was a guy 

and that you became his understudy killed you 

you knew he didn't care about the play he'd barely practice his lines but get away with everything because of his angelic voice 

especially since it was a musical 

and he'd have no trouble getting into a university since he didn't have any financial problems like you 

you knew without a scholarship there's no way in hell you could major music in any university 

so the rivalry between you and jaehwan that day completely cemented into plain hatred 

the next few weeks between were hell for anyone around you two

both of you were stubborn loud and extremely annoying

usually he'd start it with something like 

"oh poor y/n studying MY lines" he'd mock as he saw you reading the leads line

you coldy laughed and replied "i've already learnt them i'm just waiting to tell you when you fuck up"

he then childly stuck his tongue out and you'd just cocked an eyebrow 

“you were supposed to hit a G not a G#” you'd smirk and he'd retort

“fuck off you can't even reach a 3rd octave C” making you blush slightly then your scoff and walk away

the teasing was constant and sometimes you couldn't help it you had to smile at his witty remarks 

"how's the dress??"

"very aerated i think the costume adjuster had a bit of a shock when i wasn't wear underwear in a white sheer dress" he said with a cheeky smile

it took every little bit of you not to laugh your ass off but you were grinning widely

jaehwan unbeknownst to him was smiling brightly at the extremely pretty smile you were currently wearing 

and your heart fluttered seeing him looking right at you

both of you were cursing yourselves in your head 

you realised that even though jaehwan said it was a stupid school play 

he was working his ass off

reaching every note and reciting every line basically flawlessly 

you were genuinely surprised about how much effort he was putting in

but worried since there was no chance you would catch the attention of the scouts with him performing 

jaehwan knew you thought of him as a lazy ass and sometimes he was

but this time he wanted to do well 

a little voice in his head was saying that it was to impress you but he completely disregarded that fact 

over the few weeks jaehwan started to realise how different you were from before 

before you'd radiate with confidence and expressed yourself 

now you kept to yourself

he felt kinda shitty because he knew it was not getting the role

but he genuinely had no idea why you were so upset about not getting it 

so one late night when both of you were the last ones at the auditorium he planned to ask you 

you were painting one of the backdrops

you jumped in fright when jaehwan said hey

you couldn't help but appreciate how good he looked in a white button up and fitted jeans 

"done checking me out yet?" jaehwan said with a little triumphant smirk

"i wasn't!!" you retorted with a deep red blush on your cheeks

you continued "what do you want"

jaehwan asked "i wanted to know why not getting the lead role bothered you so much?"

you were confused at why he was asking this and you automatically became defensive

"why? so you can tease me with the reason now?"

jaehwan shook his head "no i'm genuinely curious and concerned" he said the last bit so quietly thinking you won't hear 

but you did and you blushed and your heart skipped a beat 

then you realised 

kim jaehwan cared about you 

and you didn't hate it at all, surprisingly you felt all warm and fuzzy 

and before you know it you told him why

"basically this is the my last chance to get a scholarship and without it i can't get into any universities to major in music but there's absolutely no chance i can get it now" 

a shot of guilt went through jaehwan he felt really bad now but he was also slightly confused 

"but aren't you parents well off enough to send you without scholarship or financial aid" he asked 

"yeah they are but they don't support my music career at all and they want me to do law or medicine or something like that" you said with a stone cold voice 

he swore, his parents were super supportive he couldn't imagine what it was like for you 

he needed to do something and he already had an idea but he needed to wait for tomorrow to do it

surprising himself he didn't want to leave you 

"do you need some help?" jaehwan asked

you knew how late it was and wanted to refuse but it would take hours to finish this by yourself so you gratefully accepted

"thank you really" you smiled softly at him

and he smiled back 

he couldn't help but admire how beautiful you looked smiling 

for a few minutes you two were in comfortable silence but you suddenly felt some cold white paint on your cheek

you look at him in fake shock with him grinning cheekily

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT JAEHWAN!!!" 

the next thirty minutes became basically a paint fight it was so much fun for both of you and jaehwan kept on making you laugh 

"NOT THE HAIR DONT YOU DARE TOUCH THE HAIR!!!" jaehwan screamed as you evilly smirked at him with a paintbrush in your hand

you couldn't help but throw your head back laughing at his high pitched scream 

at that moment jaehwan swiped his paintbrush with blue paint across your shirt 

he then started sprinting and you went straight after him

he suddenly stopped and you ran straight into him toppling the both of you onto the ground 

with you on top of him

"i'm so sorry" you said embarrassed before you were completely silenced

as jaehwan tried to wipe some paint of your lips saying "you have a little something there"

with your noses nearly touching

you felt like your heart would actually burst out of your chest  

he couldn’t help but glance at your lips

and before you knew it both of you were leaning in

and your lips met a warm pair of soft lips 

your kiss with jaehwan was long slow and really sweet

during the whole thing you were just melting into a puddle 

you two eventually part and end up lying on the floor

you quietly asked "did that really actually happen?"

"i think it did" he whispered still in shock

but before you both knew it you both burst into laughing rolling around clutching your stomachs

"this is so bloody ironic how would i have ever known that i'd kiss my absolute rival"you chuckled 

"hey! admit it was good though" jaehwan said smirking 

"never" you say cooly with a cheeky smile 

"oh you're gonna pay for that" jaehwan said with a huge smile on his face

he stood up and so did you the moment you did 

he quickly you again kissed you sweetly 

then continued to peck you everywhere 

making you giggle and tell him to stop

by the end of it both of you were sporting the widest grins 

you guys finished the backdrop with quick kisses and flirty teasing 

you guys went home in clothes with paint marks everywhere 

jaehwan came into the guys shared appartement at 3 in the morning

"KIM JAEHWAN YOU BETTER GIVE ME A GOOD ASS REASON WHY YOURE SO LATE!!!" jisung yelled 

jaehwan winced 

and he spot basically all the older guys looking at him with smirks and curious faces 

he huffed and puffed before he hesitantly said "i went on a date with y/n??"

all the guys roared with laughter at this and sungwoon replied "stop bullshitting us jaehwan what did you actually do"

jaehwan adamantly replied "I DID!! it wasn't an official date but we did kiss, multiple times" 

the guys were SHOOK 

and minhyun spoke up "wait it's true that y/n had to stay to paint the backdrop and jaehwan’s covered in paint???" 

"but jaehwan and y/n they were screaming insults at each other just yesterday" seongwoo disbelievingly said 

"wait so basically all your hatred for each other was you guys trying to mask your feelings and the sexual chemistry finally exploded??" daniel asked

"i guess so when you put it that way" jaehwan replied hesitantly 

all the guys collectively went "shit" 

it was just a few moments of silence 

before daniel burst into a loud song and dance 

"JAEHWAN WONT DIEEEE ALONEEEEE"

seongwoo automatically joined singing  "LIKE WE ALL THOUGHT HE WOU-oooo-LD" 

"but we don't know that yet~~~~" sungwoon finished with a trill

"YAH!!! IM NOT THAT BAD" jaehwan replied 

"you totally are" jisung butted him smiling at the guys singing the song over and over again 

but jaehwan turned his focus to minhyun "hyung you said you didn't want to do the play anymore right?" he said

"yeah wh??" minhyun replied

"well if i could take your spot as the male lead that means y/n can take the spot as female lead" jaehwan pleaded

"wow he really is whipped" seongwoo interrupted smirking making jaehwan flip him off

"what about the bet though?" minhyun asked he remembered the guys promising jaehwan $1000 if he went through with this

"i don't fucking care about that y/n needs the role to get a scholarship since her parents aren't even providing a single dollar for her" he retorted 

minhyun smiled softly at his response

he wanted to make sure jaehwan properly liked you

you and him were really good friends and he couldn't help but be protective

"well if that's the case i'll quit tomorrow" minhyun said with a smile 

you entered the rehearsal nervous after what happened yesterday night 

you had no idea if jaehwan actually liked you

and you couldn't help but feel your heart ache as you thought of that

last night after hours of tossing and turning you knew you were 100% already falling for him

you were way before yesterday

it was since you guys started to compete with each other you always couldn't help but admire his skills and his easy going humour not to mention his adorable good looks

but last night you finally got to take the rivalry out of the equation

and maybe have something more

just at that moment you felt a pair of arms wrapping around your waist

"miss me??" jaehwan said sweetly in your ear

you quickly turned around and responded with a smile "i never knew you were this coupley with girls you don't like"

jaehwan looked at you incredously and said "i'm not, only with the girls i really like"

you said acting puzzled "then why are you with me"

he smiled softly saying "you idiot it's because i like you" 

your heart couldn't help but flutter at his words you shyly smiled

but before you could say anything 

the drama teacher came up to you two 

"y/n since minhyun dropped out, jaehwan will be taking his place and you'll be taking jaehwan’s place as female lead, is that alright?" 

your mouth dropped and you quickly blurted out "of course thank you so much!"

she smiled and said "i think you need to thank the guy who you have your arms around"  

you turned to face jaehwan with shocked eyes and him grinning 

"you did this for me?" you whispered 

"of course what did i tell you i like you a lot y/n" he replied sweetly 

he continued "plus minhyun didn't really want to continue so it was an easy decision" 

before you could help yourself you gave him a long deep kiss

"thank you if you want anything just tell me okay?" you said gratefully 

jaehwan suggestively said "one thing actually"

you couldn't help but roll your eyes "it's been a few seconds and you're already asking for favours" you say jokingly 

"well it's only one thing sooooo you can shut up or i'll shut you up myself" he said with a suggestive wink making you laugh and hit him lightly and said to him "just spill"

"y/n will you be my girlfriend???" he said much more nervously then he would of liked too

you were shocked like you felt like your heart literally stopped

but you knew you already were in deep, you fell for him ages ago but just didn't realise till now 

so without hesitant you smiled widely and said sweetly "yes of course i will" 

jaehwan felt like he was on top of the world as he spun you around and you were giggling

everyone was wolf whistling and applauding as jaehwan kissed you again 

both of you kept stopping to smile

making your heart feel ridiculously soft 

the next few months was probably the best few months of your life

the rivalry with jaehwan turned into the best relationship you could imagine

you were basically radiating in happiness

add the preparation for the musical was running so smoothly 

and everyone said except jaehwan of course that you were better as the female lead

he is main everything 

it was the night of the play and the auditorium was packed 

so many people attending were attending since your school was one of the best private schools in the country and the end of year plays so many famous alumni and scouts come 

you were getting last minute jitters but jaehwan was calming you down

"what if i miss a note? or mess up one of my lines?" you said pacing backstage waiting for your cue

"y/n sweetheart calm down" jaehwan said calmly wrapping his arms around you

you instantly calmed down in his arms they were warm safe and your favourite place to be 

stroking your hair jaehwan whispered softly "you'll be amazing you always are that's why i fell for you so many years ago when you were the first one to go up in music class and completely amazed everyone it's the same thing today you'll be amazing to the point they'll never let them forget your name" 

it was the first time jaehwan ever said something so sincere and sweet to you

"i love you jaehwan" you said for the first time in your relationship 

he looked at you shocked but broke out into the most heart warming grin 

"i love you too y/n now show everyone how amazing my girl is" he said kissing your forehead and another quick peck of your lips

with a huge smile and a new found confidence 

you killed it and so did jaehwan both of you were bloody brilliant

when it was both of your turns to bow everyone was giving you both a standing ovation

after looking taking off your costumes and makeup you left backstage to find your parents 

both of your parents were so proud of you

but what your parents said to you made you feel on the top of the world "we wanted to tell you we'll allow, support and pay for you to major in music we saw you today and we can't deny the huge amount of talent you have" 

you basically broke out in tears and hugged them so tightly but you were interrupted by a voice 

"i'm so sorry to interrupt but i overheard your conversation and i'd like to offer both of you a spot at juilliard that performance was the best i've seen in a while” said a male in an impeccable suit 

both of you were so shocked and you managed to squeak out "thank you so much" 

he grinned wryly "you both deserve it" he said handing you two his business card saying to give him a call when you made your decision 

with shaking hands both of you accepted 

jaehwan looks at you in disbelief "we're going to juilliard, we're going to juilliard, WE'RE GOING TO JULLIARD!!!" he finishes screaming in his famous vocals 

everyone around you winced at the his voice but you didn't care you were just so so happy 

he whisked you up and spun you around you were laughing happily

as he set you down he looked at you with an adoring set of eyes

"we're going to juilliard jaehwan together we're going to blow everyone socks off" you say still smiling brightly and eyes twinkling

in typical jaehwan style he cheekily retorted "i think i can speed that process up"

you look at him confused but your confusion quickly disappeared 

as everyone proceeded to clap and with a few shouts from the wanna one guys 

"HELL YES!!" "DAMNNNNNN" 

as jaehwan proceeded to kiss your socks off

WOOHOO YESS FINALLY 4TH INSTALLEMENT OF THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS SERIES i really hope y’all liked it because i worked my ass off for this fic like i spent hours on this anyways i think i’m going to do guanlin next WHICH IM SO EXCITED FOR so look forward to that!!!

love you all don't be afraid to message me or just send me an anon!!

enemies to lovers series: bae jinyoung | ong seongwoo | park jihoon | kim jaehwan | lai guanlin | ha sungwoon | hwang minhyun | yoon jisung

[samoyeddaniel-blog]

Target | Kang Daniel - Soulmate Series

genre: angst

member: Kang Daniel

requested: yes

a/n: thank you anon for requesting! I think this is a little bit more intense than the other scenarios I’ve written, but I hope you guys like it! Feel free to request!

summary: you had your first meeting with your soulmate in the worst way possible.

soulmate au: countdown timer - a clock suddenly appears on your wrist, telling you how long you have until you meet your soulmate.

soulmate series: Kang Daniel | Park Jihoon | Lee Daehwi | Kim Jaehwan | Ong Seongwoo | Park Woojin | Lai Guanlin | Yoon Jisung | Hwang Minhyun | Bae Jinyoung | Ha Sungwoon

Target | Rescue

You were jealous that most of your friends already had their countdown timer embedded on the underside of their wrist, showing the time they had left before meeting their soulmate. Some of their countdown timer had reached 0, which meant they had met their soulmate and they were having the time of their life.

But yours hadn’t even appeared yet. As day went by, you were getting more anxious. What if you were the only one who would never have a countdown timer? What if you weren’t born with a soulmate?

The thoughts kept bothering you until one morning, a countdown timer appeared on your wrist. You screamed happily the moment you caught sight of the timer. It showed 12:25:50, meaning you would meet your soulmate later tonight.

You had been worrying all this time that your soulmate might not exist. But now that you had a countdown timer, your smile never left your face since you spotted it. You literally giggled and laughed the whole time - your mom even thought you were sick. But after you showed her your timer, your mom was really happy for you. She excitedly encouraged you to doll yourself up before the timer reached 0.

So after you had your lunch, you and your mom went shopping to buy a cute dress for you to wear, then you both visited a makeup and hair salon to enhance your appearance.

You couldn’t contain your happiness as you proudly bragged about your countdown timer to your friends when you briefly met them in the afternoon, right before the fated encounter with your soulmate. You were really excited and you couldn’t wait to meet him.

Trying to make your first meeting with your soulmate as sweet and memorable as possible, you decided to wait under the cherry blossom tree where there were barely people around, so that you would have a private moment with him, without having to risk people hearing or watching you. Because you would probably be having a date with him later to get to know each other better. The mere thoughts of meeting him were enough to make you giddy with anticipation.

One minute before the meeting, your eyes were fixated on your wrist, counting down out loud together with your timer. Your grinned widely when you sensed someone coming closer towards you as your timer showed there’s 5 seconds left, but you didn’t lift your gaze to take a glance at him. Instead, you kept counting down loudly, focusing on the timer on your wrist.

“5… 4… 3… 2… 1…0! Found you, soulmate!”

Now that it reached 0, you snapped your head upwards and flashed your brightest smile to the man in front of you.

***

Daniel was holding your photo, carving every detail of your face in his mind. He had to be able to identify you among the crowd. Failure was unacceptable for him.

Since you left your house at noon, Daniel had been following you around, keeping a distance from you far enough so that you wouldn’t realize that he’s tailing you. Wearing his black hoodie, he tried to blend in with the crowd, watching you having fun with your mom and your friends closely.

When you parted with your friends, Daniel thought that it’s finally time for action. It was dark and there’s no people around besides you and him. He wore his hood up to conceal himself in the darkness, approaching you quietly.

Daniel thought this would be a piece of cake since you were so focused on your wrist that you didn’t notice him coming for you. He scanned his surrounding to make sure once again that there’s no one watching them and no cctv cameras around the area. He carefully took out his knife with his gloved hand and walked over to you, wanting to quickly get it over with.

But then he heard you counting down, so Daniel froze in his tracks, wondering what you were counting for. He stood there rooted to the spot just a meter away from you.

“5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 0! Found you, soulmate!” you exclaimed excitedly.

Daniel quickly glanced at his wrist and cursed under his breath when he saw his timer reached 0 too. Before you lifted your head to look at him, Daniel swiftly hid his knife back in his pocket.

He could feel his mind whirring as he was torn between his life and his soulmate’s safety. But no matter how heartless Daniel was when it came to killing people, he just couldn’t kill his soulmate. So, he ended up choosing you over himself.

Thinking that he must have destroyed a country in his past life, Daniel bitterly accepted his fate. How could fate be so cruel to the two of you? How could it be that out of all people his soulmate was his target?

***

You were so elated that you finally saw how your soulmate looked like. So you excitedly introduced yourself. “Hello, soulmate! My name is Y/N, please take a good care of me.”

Instead of introducing himself, your soulmate darted his eyes around anxiously and said rapidly, “Listen to me, it’s not safe here. You should leave this country immediately. Ask your father to hire security details for you. I’ll try my best to delay them, but I can’t hold them back for long.”

You frowned, unable to comprehend what he’s rambling on about. “Wait. What are you talking about?”

Thinking that it would be faster to show than explain, he took out his knife from his pocket, causing you to gasp out loud before he put it back in. “I’m hired to kill you.”

Unable to recover from the shock, you stammered, moving back a step, “W-why… Who… W-who are you?”

“I’m Kang Daniel. And I’m a hitman. Sort of,” Daniel said casually as if it was a common job. “You should go now.”

You were still confused about what’s happening. “A-aren’t you going to kill me?”

“I changed my mind.” Daniel warily scanned his surroundings. “Please go, hurry.”

Daniel’s tone softened when he said the last words and somehow it calmed you down. You’re convinced that he wouldn’t kill you. Although your first meeting was way worse than you’d imagined, he was still your soulmate. And you weren’t just going to let him go like that.

“I won’t go until you tell me everything.” You finally regained your composure and started to question him. “Why me?”

Daniel sighed. “The information is classified. Even I don’t know why. But I do know that it has something to do with your father.”

You should have known. Your father was the CEO of a big corporate group. Because of that, people had attempted to kidnap you a few times before. But you hadn’t expected they would try to kill you now.

“Well, even so, since I’ve found you, I’m not going anywhere,” you said stubbornly. “I don’t care if you are a hitman. I’m going to stay with you.“

“Are you crazy?” Daniel snapped. “Do you even hear yourself? I kill people for a living, Y/N. Do you think I can live a happy life? Do you think I deserve to be happy?”

You opened your mouth to talk, but the words were stuck in your throat. Daniel did bad things and nothing you would say could change that fact.

However, the more you heard Daniel speak and the more you saw how he behaved, the more you started to think that he hated this job and he was doing it either because he was forced or he was blackmailed. This made you curious about his past and how he got involved in this shady business. Whatever it was, it’s obvious that he’s not doing this on his own accord.

Suddenly, Daniel cursed out loud. "They followed me. Stay here. And you might want to close your eyes.”

With that, Daniel took out his knife and walked away from you.

“Come on out,” Daniel shouted.

On cue, three men came out from their hiding, holding knife like Daniel. You could see that things would get really messy after this and you were getting nervous. You had a bad feeling that Daniel was about to kill people again.

One of them spat, “You traitor. Wait till Boss hears this.”

“Oh really? I’ll make sure he won’t get to hear it from you three.” Daniel turned to face you and said, “Close them now.”

You obliged and shut your eyes. You were not sure what’s happening, but you could hear people groaning in pain. Fight must be going on right now. You were worried about Daniel because it’s one against three, but you decided to believe in him.

However, when you sensed movement near you, you couldn’t help but flip your eyes open, only to find one of the three guys dashing towards you. Before you could react, Daniel ran to stand between you and the guy, shielding you, so Daniel ended up getting cut instead of you.

“Daniel!” you shrieked worriedly.

“I told you to close your eyes!” Daniel yelled, his hand pressing his wounded stomach.

You closed your eyes again, but this time your body was shaking. Daniel was injured because of you. He saved you from getting slashed.

After a few seconds, you didn’t hear anything besides Daniel’s ragged breath.

“You can open them now,” Daniel said weakly.

When you opened your eyes, you gasped, looking at how serious his injury was and how the three other guys were lying on the ground, lifeless.

“Daniel, we should go to the hospital,” you said, approaching him, your eyes not leaving his wounded stomach.

Daniel winced painfully as he laughed. “I can’t go to hospitals, Y/N. Don’t worry, this wound is nothing. I’ve had much worse.”

None of his words convinced you. You still looked at him worriedly. To reassure you that he’s fine, Daniel smiled at you so warmly that you could feel your insides melt.

Daniel reached out his clean hand to touch your cheek and said softly, “Can you see the life I’m living now? This is why we can’t be together. I can’t get you involved with this mess. You’re a kind girl. You deserve every good thing in this world. You deserve to be happy.”

It must be because of the soulmate bond. You had never felt this way before. His touch made you yearn for more. Your heart fluttered every time you heard his voice. It didn’t make sense. You literally had just met him a few hours ago. But why did it feel like you’d been together with him for years?

And you’re relieved when you could tell that Daniel was also feeling the same as you from the look in his eyes.

You lifted your hand to rest it over his. “But I can only be happy if I’m with you.”

“I’m a criminal, Y/N,” Daniel reminded you. “My option is either killing people or rotting behind bars.”

“But you’re also a victim.” Daniel seemed shocked when you said this, so knowing you’re in the right track, you continued, spouting your wild guesses, “They must have kidnapped you and forced you to do bad things for them. We can just expose them to the police and get you out of there.”

Daniel shook his head and stroked your head gently, tucking strands of your hair behind your ear. “It’s not that easy, Y/N. We both will end up dead before we can reveal anything about them. And I can’t afford that. You at least have to live.”

Your voice started to shake. “What about you?”

“They will kill me right after they find out I betrayed them anyway, which won’t be long after they realize that these three don’t come back to the HQ. So I might as well try to buy some time for you to leave the country.”

You walked over to him and pulled him into a hug, much to his surprise. “But I don’t want to leave the country. I want to be with you, Daniel.”

“I’m sorry,” Daniel said sadly, wrapping your back with his clean hand to hug you. “But I want you to be safe. This might not make sense because we just met hours ago, but I don’t want to see you hurt or sad.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. “This might not make sense because we just met hours ago, but I don’t want to part with you.”

Daniel wiped your tears with his thumb. “This might not make sense because we just met hours ago, but I think I’ll miss you a lot.”

You were smiling and crying at the same time. You probably looked awful but you couldn’t care less. “This might not make sense because we just met hours ago, but I think I’ve completely fallen in love with you.”

“Me too.” Daniel pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m glad I can meet my soulmate before I die.”

Tears streamed down your face even harder when Daniel pushed you away from him. The cold breeze was suddenly hard to bear. You already missed his warmth and you wondered how to live the rest of your life without him.

“Now go. I have to get rid of the bodies before people find out. Good bye. Be safe.” Daniel moved back a few steps, widening the gap between you two.

“Try to stay alive, okay?” you said worriedly.

“I will,” Daniel reassured you, showing you his warm smile that might be the last smile you saw from him. “I promise I will stay alive long enough until you leave the country.”

You whirled around and ran away without looking back, because you knew if you did, you might never be able to bring yourself to leave him again.

a/n: don’t ask me why it suddenly turned into a crappy mafia au scenario because I don’t know lol I’m sorry this is really messy, hope you still like it! I don’t know whether I should write a second part or not, but if you’re curious about Daniel’s past, I might consider it~

update: the sequel is done, you can read it here.

[biasedwriting]

Nepenthe [VIXX, Leo] ||2||

Part 2 of the Kairos Series

Characters : VIXX’s Leo || OC

WWII au

Inspired by Armand!Leo and Going Solo by Roald Dahl

I am trash, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but this might be a short series.

Warning : HELLA LONG, also implied sexual relations.

Nepenthe : medicine for sorrow

It smelled like disinfectant. Much too sterile as compared to the filth and rot Taekwoon had gotten used to over several months of training. Did the afterlife really smell like disinfectant?

“He'll make it.” Taekwoon could hear a male voice say “He got bashed up pretty good, but he'll make it. Kwon, go check his bandages out.”

“He looks rather grotesque. It's a little off putting Doctor Lee.” A lady's voice reached his ears as he inhaled deeply, brain still scrambling to figure out what exactly was going on. Was the after-life such a rude place as it was sterile?

“Good lord Kwon, you can’t afford to be choosy,” the Doctor’s voice grumbled “Kim, at least check if he can hear us. He really looks like he’s been bashed up, I’m surprised he’s still breathing.” Taekwoon felt a soft hand grasp at his holding his calloused palm gently as a new voice made acquaintance with his ear which somehow made goosebumps rise on his skin. Her voice was deep for certain, but something about it felt solid enough to grasp and soothed his frazzled senses.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

Her hand was warm and supple, gentle and caring against his calloused ones. Taekwoon squeezed and felt her hand on top of his head, brushing the overgrown hair away, her finger’s meeting with the scalp of his head and the other gently reaching under the fabric of his uniform to test the skin on his stomach.

“He can hear us well enough. No fever caused by an infection. Broken ribs. We’ll need to clean him up and assess for any other internal damage.”

“Efficient as always Kim. Get him in and we’ll handle the rest. You’re in charge of him...since everyone else seems too put off by the bandaged head. ” the other voice came in.

“God Jaehwan, you make me sound terrible.” the initial voice that had called him grotesque grumbled as the person called Kim called back an affirmative as Taekwoon felt himself being wheeled somewhere. He hadn’t let go of the person’s hand, it was the only thing that told him that everything was real and whatever he could smell and hear beyond it was just as real as the hand that was holding his. He could feel the figure close to him, so incredibly warm, disinfectant masking a certain fresh scent lingering underneath.

“I’m Minah, once we assess what the damage is, and you can speak, you can call me that.” her voice was just as grounding as the warmth of her hand. Taekwoon wished he could taste her name on his tongue. But it felt heavy, like a piece of lead in his mouth, so he squeezed her hand in response and heard her let out a laugh. Just like fresh air filling his lungs, her short, soft laugh filled his senses and he held on. He let her take care of his bruised and broken body because he knew she would, he knew she would not let go.

Taekwoon didn’t know he could form a bond of trust with someone simply holding his hand. But here he was, placing his life in hers with the utmost faith that she would make things alright. That she would be the drug that would dull the suffering.

He felt her soul reach out to his to pull him out of the void of darkness. Maybe it was a figment of his imagination, but he felt his body relax to her voice. Things would be alright.

Maybe that's what kept him going through it all. Minah was incredibly patient with him. She fed him with care, changed his clothes without complaint, sat through all the examinations holding his hand because he'd reach out for her. Sound tried to gurgle past his throat, but she'd hush him, ask him to take some time.

“Write on my palm,” she said as his index finger drew across her open palm deftly “Taek...woon, that's your name isn't it?” She said, smoothing his hair back from the heavily bandaged face “they're going to fix your nose tomorrow Taekwoon. Then you'll be able to speak again. They got the best surgeon for you. He said they'd give you a celebrity’s nose. God knows what that means, but we'll be able to get the  bandages off you.” She laughed again, before  sighing “ Now, I have to attend to another patient, so I'm going to give you a dose of the painkillers for your ribs. Try and get some sleep alright?”

He liked that she made it a point to speak to him. That she talked him through everything she did as she injected the painkiller into the intravenous tube. Even in his drug induced drowsy haze Taekwoon tried to imagine what Kim Minah could look like. Would her features be sharp and defined or would they be mellow and pleasant? The pain in his chest dulled into a throbbing somewhere in the distance. What could a person who had given his frazzled senses such instant relief possibly look like?

“Had I know I had such a handsome man in my care I'd have put a barricade around you earlier.All of the nurses want to take care of you now.” Minah sounded amused as she unravelled the bandage around his head a week later. He blinked into the darkness. He had regained his voice, but not his sight.

His voice came out hoarse, shaky without use, his throat parched. Almost instantly a glass was held to his lips as he gulped down the cool water and cleared his throat.

“Thank you.” was the first words that left his lips after two weeks of silence. Minah smiled, setting the glass on the table beside his bed.

“You have Doctor Jaehwan and Wonshik to thank...is there anything you need? Something to eat maybe?  After that considered asking you if you'd like to write a letter home... your family might be worried. If you need me to be your scribe, I can…” she bit her lip, maybe she had said too much. She didn't know how Taekwoon was as a man, but she thought he would like to send a note home “I'm sorry. I probably said too much. We'll take it one step at a time…”

“I would like that.” Taekwoon's voice didn't match his face, but Minah found it incredibly pleasant.

“I'll fetch your lunch and some writing paper then.” He could hear the smile in her voice and the sound of her footsteps leaving the space before returning minutes later with the scent of hospital food and the rustle of crisp paper.

It became routine soon after. In her breaks she would keep him company, feed him, fix his bed, write his letters.Sometimes, when Taekwoon would feel lonely, he’d tell her about his home and she would tell him about her hometown, just so he wouldn’t feel like he was just a person there. Taekwoon was known to be silent, but sometimes, the lack of conversation unnerved him. Especially when all around he could here was sounds of sickness and death mixed with the scent of piss, vomit, and disinfectant.

She’d sit with him through all the follow ups that Doctor Jaehwan conducted. The blindness was temporary, she told him, it was caused by a blood clot. Something that couldn’t be easily dissolved. They’d have to wait for his body to recover before he could do an invasive surgery to fix that problem. Taekwoon found himself placing his hands on his blanket as she scribbled away at his letter to his mother. The question bubbled past his lips.

“Will you be taking care of me till the surgery then?”

He heard her sigh, the rustle of papers being set to the side as she placed her hand on his giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I will take care of you for as long as you want me to Taekwoon.” she said, a moment of silence followed as Taekwoon blindly looked to the side.

“Do you think you could read to me?” he asked, wondering if it was too much to ask for, she felt like the only person who was his friend here and the reading would take his mind off things as they were, provide a short escape from the reality of himself  “that is, if you don’t mind.” He added quickly. The silence he got in response made him worry a little.

“If you don’t mind me reading to you after I get off work. I have no problem reading to you. Is there a specific title you have in mind?” Minah replied, ending the silence between them and Taekwoon smiled. Minah found that his smile was almost stark against the background of the war torn world. But there was a sweetness to it that made her return it, knowing well that he couldn’t see it.

Soon Taekwoon found himself looking forward to the evenings when Minah got off work, wondering what new story she brought with her. She always brought something cheerful, full of hope, set somewhere away from reality. Her voice carried him there, like a steady dream. Sometimes he would ask her to read the news to him, her voice sounded far more soothing than that which crackled through the transistor. She would always make it a point to ask him what he thought of the story and would discuss it with him till he fell asleep.

She was strong enough to lift his body, gentle enough to tend to his every hurt. Taekwoon wondered if he was becoming far too dependent on Kim Minah or whether he craved her company because he had no other. But things cleared up with the Nurse Kwon came in place of Minah. He felt frazzled and awkward as she fixed his pillows and shifted the stand holding his intravenous medication.

“You’re a handsome guy, I feel bad for turning you down when you came in” she stated, as Taekwoon gazed into the distance, lips pressed tightly together “oh, so you’ll only speak to Kim, eh? I see how this is. Well too bad, she had to abandon you because Jaehwan wanted her to assist in a complex surgery.” she grumbled, unaware how uncomfortable he felt. He felt a pang of worry. Would Minah truly abandon him for a new patient? The anxiety that had initially started off as a flicker, burned through his system. His chest hurt, and he wondered whether it was his healing ribs crying out in pain or whether this was what they called heart ache. Other nurses came through the day to fill in for Minah, they were all pleasant with him, sufficiently so. But nothing seemed to ease the ache, nothing seemed to fill the void.

Until he heard her say “I’m sorry I’m late.” every bit of tension had felt building over the day, eased. He heard her footsteps towards his bed and she fixed his pillow just right “I thought you’d be asleep though, it’s rather late.” she whispered. Taekwoon shook his head.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Did the other nurses give you a hard time? Or did you give them a hard time?” Minah asked as she sat down, sounding rather amused as Taekwoon pursed his lips.

“What did you bring to read today?”

“I take that it was the latter. I picked out a short story since it’s late.” she laughed, thumbing the pages of the old book in her hand. Taekwoon sank back into his pillow as he heard the chair next to his bed scrape against the floor as she drew it closer to him. Taekwoon found himself focusing more on her voice than the actual story. There was a certain rhythm to it, rising and falling like a melody. He closed his eyes, savouring it. He could hear the voice lull, as her own eyes drew shut as she leaned forward into his sheets. The exhaustion of the day finally catching up. Taekwoon started at the sudden loss of sound, but the warmth of her skin seeped through the sheets as she rested on his thigh, heavy breaths escaping her as she dozed.

His shaky hand reached out and placed itself on top of her head feeling thick and heavy hair as he smoothed his hand down the thick braid it was twisted into. The strong Kim Minah braided her hair, he noted, filing away the information somewhere in his brain. The same part of his brain formed an image of her. Beautiful, strong, kind, angelic. He smiled, eyes drawing shut again. She had long thick hair too.

Minah was surprised the next day when Taekwoon stopped chewing on the rice she had just fed him and asked “Is it possible for this surgery to go wrong?”

The silence told him that she was thinking and she sighed “it is possible for you to permanently lose your sight, yes.”

“Can you describe yourself to me?”

He heard the sound of hesitance at the back of her throat followed by the sound of her setting the bowl on the bedside table.

“I’m no good with words.” Minah sighed “ So asking me to describe myself to you would be of no use. Instead, you’ll need to learn a skill. If you do lose your sight forever, you’ll need to depend on your other senses.” she said, her hands reaching out to grasp at his wrists and placing it on her face. Taekwoon gulped, feeling how soft her skin felt under his fingers. Her face was rounded under his touch. It moved when she whispered “draw a mental image of me, use your hands.” His fingers trailed over the flesh, feeling high cheekbones under her round cheeks, her eyelashes tickled the tips of his fingers as they trailed down the bridge of her nose. His thumb trailed over the swell of her lower lip which puckered under his touch.

“You’re just as beautiful as I thought you would be.” it slipped past his lips almost inadvertently, yet he meant every word. Her lips twitched upwards under his thumb.

“You know my favourite part of you, Taekwoon?” she deflected “you say things with such conviction,” she said, brushing his hair off his forehead “and I really love this birthmark. Right under your eye.” she said, her finger grazing right over the spot gently.

“You’re the first person I want to see when I get my sight back.” Taekwoon said as Minah looked at him fondly.

“Why is that?”

“Because you saved me.”

“You’re too nice to me Taekwoon. The doctors saved you.” Minah laughed, amused. Taekwoon’s hand dropped from her face, reaching to grab hold of her hand.

“This hand held me through the whole thing. I want to see the person who made this suffering dull.”

Gently pulling her hand away, she linked her pinky to his.

“I promise, I’ll be the first person you see when you wake up after the surgery. If you cannot see, I will still be the first person you hear and touch. You have my word.” she said with conviction that Taekwoon pulled her hand against his chest.

“Cross your heart and swear to die.”

“I cross my heart and swear to die,” she laughed as she leaned over to hug him. The fresh scent that clung to her filled his senses. He pressed his forehead against her shoulder, their linked hands between their chests “ I promise I won’t let go.”

He lifted their hands to his lips and sealed the promise with a kiss.

Taekwoon wondered about the gravity of their friendship. Minah had left to attend to another patient and Taekwoon could already feel his heart hurting. This was definitely not pain in his ribs. Minah not being around was causing heartache and Taekwoon, the ever guarded Taekwoon, wondered whether this was love. To find every second with her precious, to feel like she brought value to his life. To find that she was the only light he wanted to see. That he felt so safe in her presence even if there was a war being fought around them.

Maybe this was the new meaning of love in the face of war. It wasn’t just attraction. It was feeling safe in the face of anything. It was trust beyond words. It was friendship, care, and love. Minah gave him all of these and he hoped, beyond all hope that he made her feel the same way.

But Taekwoon never rushed into action. He always mulled over his thoughts, refining them until he was sure of everything. The war had changed his life even before he could take part in it, it had taken away so much, but it had also given him a new meaning of love. Maybe it didn’t count for much in magnitude, but it did count for something very valuable and that meant enough to Taekwoon.

What if this was just a utopia contained in the small space assigned to him in the hospital? he wondered. Because that was all he seemed to be doing now that the pain in his ribs had subsided, he was recovering quickly. What if this would all just be a memory after he leaves the hospital, with or without his sight. But he realized, as he fiddled with the sheets that covered him, that it was no point to constantly puzzle over something he would not know the answer to unless he asked.

“Minah,” he began as she drew the curtain around his bed, she hummed, acknowledging his call

“Your surgery is tomorrow, are you feeling alright?” she asked as she set the basin down on his bedside table.

“I wanted to talk about something.” he said, feeling the bed sink as she sat down in front of him, reaching to unbutton the robe they had clothed him in. This was a daily routine, but she slowed down her pace almost as an indication that he should speak.

“What’s wrong Taekwoon? Are you worried about the surgery?” she asked, hands sliding the robe off his shoulders, checking his skin for any signs of infection, fever, or bruising. Taekwoon wondered what would be the best way to address the person in front of him.

The warm sponge in her hand went over his long legs, cooling it while cleaning it. She shifted, knowing he was grappling with something and was trying his best to articulate it. Running the sponge over his skin, she wondered what would happen when Taekwoon would leave this hospital. The care and love he showed for her would simply be a memory of a friend he had made back when he was fighting the war. What if he didn’t make it? She worried, what if the man she had grown to love would not see the other side of the war?

“Would it be too selfish of me to say that I want to see you even after I’m better? Wanting to be a part of your life even after I leave the hospital?” he said feeling the cool sponge which had been travelling down his arm pause. It slid back up his arm and over his shoulder. Circling the smooth rounded surface of skin, Minah bit down on her lip.

“No. It would not be selfish. I would like that too.”

“Even if it means writing you letters every week?”

“Of course. I will write back to you as well.” she laughed,  sponge going behind his neck as she carefully maneuvered him forward, exposing his back to her. She gazed at the broad expanse of unmarred skin wondering where he was going with this conversation.

“What if at the end of the war, I come here with a ring for you?” he mumbled as she froze, sponge still in her hand.

“Are you proposing to me, Jung Taekwoon?” she asked, sounding a little incredulous as Taekwoon smiled into his lap as the sponge travelled down the dip of his spine shakily.

“I’m telling you I love you.” He said, looking up now, knowing that she’s sitting behind him. “If you will have me. Broken, bruised, and possibly blind.”

Yet again he was met with silence. For a moment, he thought he had ruined whatever they had between them. But her arms wrapped around his waist and her head rested against his back as she nodded into it. A shiver ran down his spine when he felt her figure against his, warm and soft. His hands reached to hers and he pressed fervent kisses on them, trailing down her wrist, only letting go as he felt her lips against the base of his neck, trailing kisses down his spine, whispering promises into his skin.

“I will love you, whether you’re bruised, broken, blind, whatever it may be. As long as you’ll keep me and have me.”

“Minah,” he whispered, skin burning under her kisses “Minah come closer to me.” he called, as her skin left his tingling and empty for a few moments before he felt her settle closer to him, forehead resting against his, their breaths mingling. Her hand caught hold of his and guided it to her face as he instinctively cupped her cheek, pulling her close to press his lips against the side of her mouth. She turned, ever so slightly, and he revelled at how soft her lips felt against his. He pressed a kiss against her lips, before placing another and realizing how addictive it was, kissing her. It was almost like he had found an oasis in the middle of a desert and he drank her in, chaste kiss deepening as his tongue trailed over the swell of her lip and he could hear the sigh at the back of her throat as her lips parted and her tongue met his. Her fingers gently tangled themselves in his hair.

She felt his hands trail down her side, gripping, sensing and feeling, as his fists bunched at the pristine white of her uniform. It was almost a relief, kissing him. She felt like she had waited for this her entire life, and now, kissing Taekwoon made her heart want to explode just like the explosion of spots before her eyes. It was almost like they had waited for too long for this to happen. This wonderous moment where their bodies met, the moment where they stopped toeing the line between friendship and love and dove headfirst into the latter.

His lips chased hers hungrily, he would consume her whole and she didn’t mind at all. She wanted him to, she wanted him to take her soul and meld it with his and the heat of his touches going under the fabric of her uniform and dancing over her skin made it feel like it was entirely possible. He groaned softly when her lips met the column of his neck spreading heat with her hands. His own shakily wandering over her bare skin, trying to bare her soul to him, trying to memorize every inch of it so he could burn it into his memory.

The night before Taekwoon’s surgery, they made love for the first time, stumbling in their own darknesses, reaching for each other feverishly, falling asleep under the same sheets with their arms around each other.

Previous 

[ahnheeyeonee]

Jin/Namjoon - Keep Away (1/?)

“You must keep away from there.”

This was the phrase repeated through so much of his childhood. His mother would whisper it to him as they left their house and trekked down their front path; passing through the wooden gate, the white paint faded and peeling. Jin would simply nod and grasp his mother's hand with his own sticky, chubby one. 

“You must keep away from there.” 

The “there” his mother would point to and mention in hushed whispers was the house across the street. It was dark and gloomy and stood out from all the other houses; with its untrimmed hedges and dark windows.

As time passed and Jin grew from a small child standing in his mother’s shadow to a broad-shouldered college student. He still passed the house every day, his mother’s words a faint memory in his mind. 

His mother. 

She had passed two years ago after sickness ravaged her body quickly. She simply fell asleep one day and never woke up, leaving Jin the house and a fund that she had set up when he was a child. Along with the fund was a note with the same six words that was a mantra in his childhood. 

“You must keep away from there.”

Occasionally, there were nights where he missed his mother to the point of pain. A huge dark, swirling ache in the center of his chest that nothing could remove. as he cried and sobbed for his mother like he did when he was young. He cried that she wasn’t there to see him grow, to see his achievements. She wouldn’t see his children or his lover. Fat tears would slip down his cheeks and drip off his chin. 

Last night was one of those nights. Jin had woken up lying on his sofa, his body aching from being curled so tightly around a pillow. He blinked and rubbed his face with his hand and swallowed roughly. His head pounded faintly. Climbing off the sofa, Jin made his way upstairs and into the bathroom; cranking the shower onto the highest heat before removing his clothes and stepping under the spray. The heat and pounding water massaged his back as he quickly washed his hair and body. Faintly, he could hear his phone blaring at him from his abandoned jeans and hurriedly exited the shower, grabbing a towel from nearby and rooted around his jeans; fishing out his phone and looking at the caller. 

INCOMING CALL: LEE JAEHWAN 

Jin swiped the screen to accept the call and exited the bathroom. 

“Where are you?! Class started twenty minutes ago and the professor asked where you were. I had to come up with some stupid excuse for you.” Jaehwan whined down the phone. 

“Sorry, I slept in.” Jin replied, hopping into a fresh pair of jeans and wrenching a shirt over his head. “I’ll be there as fast as I can.” 

Jaehwan snorted. “I’ll see you in an hour then. Don’t lie to me, Jin. Was is it another bad night? Take your time getting ready.” 

Jin looked at his phone that was balanced precariously on the edge of his bed.  “Yeah.” He mumbled back. “It was. I’ll see you in a bit - can you take notes for me?” 

“And just who do you think I am? I’m not your best friend for nothing. They’re even colour coded the way you like.” Jaehwan scoffed. “Get your ass here though, there’s only so much I can do for you. Shit, professor’s back. Bye!” 

Jin said his goodbye before lurching towards the phone and hitting the end call button. He placed his phone in his pocket before grabbing his earphones from his desk, tucking them into his bag and making his way downstairs. Jaehwan had been his savior when his mother passed. They had been best friends during high school and, when he learned about Jin’s mother’s sickness, badgered him non-stop about eating and keeping up hope. Jaehwan was the only one who knew about the bad nights. 

Making his way into the kitchen, Jin placed two slices of bread into the toaster and waited for them to ping back up. When they did, he quickly buttered them and lazily nibbled them whilst scrolling through his social media on his phone. More people getting engaged and having kids. At 19, Jin had had a couple of long relationships; with both males and females. His first was Kim Youngsun - a girl from the year above him. She had been kind and lovely to him but their relationship fizzled out after a year and they had decided that they were better off friends. It had broken Jin’s heart but he bounced back from it and then met Kim Junmyeon from the same year. They were together for three years but had decided to attend different universities. Ultimately, the long-distance relationship had been too much of a strain and they had broken up. The last that Jin had heard, Junmyeon was happily in another relationship with someone else.

Finishing up his toast, Jin brushed the crumbs off of himself, slipped his shoes and left his house; pausing to grab his key from a small bowl by the front door. Almost immediately, his eyes rested on the house across the road. He heard his mother in his head repeat her mantra and quickly lowered his eyes, rushing down the path and out of the gate to catch the bus.   

Or, that’s what he should have done when he looked at the house. Instead, his eyes focused on the figure at the window. He blinked once. The figure was gone. For all the time that Jin had lived at his house, he had never seen anyone enter or leave that house. A cold shiver crept down his back and he turned down the road to get to the bus stop. 

Forty-five minutes later, Jin found himself walking quickly to the building where his missed morning class was; two hot coffees clasped in his hands, the steam curling out and disappearing into the late morning air. Arriving at the building, he leaned against the red-brick wall and lifted one of the cups to his mouth, blowing it softly and took a small sip. He immediately winced. Way too hot still.

Faintly, he could hear thundering footsteps rushing towards the doors and glanced over to the glass doors. Jaehwan was power-walking towards him, a frown on his face; his blonde hair artfully pushed back with some stray strands flopping into his eyes. Jin lifted the other coffee and wiggled it, a sheepish smile spreading across his face. Jaehwan’s eyes narrowed to focus on the coffee and, like the sun breaking through clouds on a rainy day, he smiled.

Jin laughed as Jaehwan made his way out of the door and held his hand out for the drink. 

“I will exchange notes for caffeine.” Jaehwan said in greeting and Jin handed him the coffee as Jaehwan shoved some sheets of A4 lined paper at him; lines of colour peeking out between chunks of black ink. Jin tucked them into his bag neatly and the two began walking to their next class; Jaehwan chattering about anything that he could think of, his words becoming a white noise within Jin’s head as he thought back to the figure in the window. The image wouldn’t leave his mind. The figure had clearly been male with hair that had been swept up and away from their face. 

“So why do you have a face like you smell something horrifying?” Jaehwan asked and Jin finally noticed that they had made it to their next class and sat down. He began to unpack his bag, placing his cup on the desk in front of him. “You know that house by mine?” He mumbled, not wanting others to overhear. Jaehwan nodded in response. “I think I saw someone there, inside it.”

Jaehwan flinched slightly. He had heard Jin’s mother's sayings about the house and had witnessed the creepiness of it with his own eyes. “You’re kidding me? I thought it has been abandoned for years.” He whispered back, stumbling over his words slightly.  

“I know!” Jin shot back, relief flooding his body that he wasn’t crazy. The professor at the front of the room cleared his throat a couple of times and began to boot up the powerpoint for their lecture. 

“You know what we need to do then?” Jaehwan suggested slyly. Jin froze and glanced at his friend. 

“We need to investigate the house.”

Thanks for reading! <3 For my friend @17-bts-fairytales  <3 <3 

[bambyeol]

Beats.And.Melody (B.A.M!) (p.3)

pairing/s: band! park jihoon x oc genre: angst, fluff, music (band) characters: kang daniel, ong seongwoo,kim jaehwan, bae jinyoung, park woojin, lee daehwi, yoon jisung

prompt: why were you crying over a pop rock party song?

previous (read first!)  : part 1 // part 2 // part 4 wanna one masterlist

song inspiration : Letting Go by Day6

She sighed for the nth time as she sat in the music room, earphones on her ear as she played the demo of their performance. There was only one week left before the competition, and she was stumped.

"It's your song, so we'll let you write whatever you want in it. Besides, we're not the most talented in writing lyrics," Seongwoo laughed as he remembered about the lyrics they tried to write before ranging from comparing the taste of ramen to love, up to random made-up words to replace ooh's in their songs.

She flipped through the pages of her notebook filled scribbled notes and crossed out lyrics. "Yo, having a hard time?" Jihoon sat beside her and pulled out one earplug and inserted it on his ear.

"I'm stuck." Riseul confessed, and Jihoon bobbed his head along the beat of the music. "Where?"

"On the first line of the first verse." She tried writing the lyrics again but immediately crossed out her thoughts. Jihoon plugged the earphones back to her ear, and spoke after a minute.

"You can make it a song about what you want to say to someone? Jaehwan-hyung usually writes the lyrics like that. Oh, also. The school's closing up, so we need to go now." Riseul nodded and began locking the windows and fixing her bag.

"Can I carry your guitar bag?" Jihoon asked, and Riseul looked at him with a guarded expression again. "You can't. It's too heavy," hurriedly zipping the bag and strapping it on her shoulders.

Jihoon frowned upon remembering the pink-haired man who was with Riseul on her birthday. He didn't want to ask and be met with the answer that he was her boyfriend because that was what his gut told him. They looked very close, and Riseul smiled so much around him.

He looked at the glass portion of the door which showed a reflection of him where he vaguely thought and muttered, "Should I dye my hair to pink?"

Riseul shook her head, and slapped her cheeks after she committed the tenth mistake for that practice day. Seongwoo sensed the pressure within Riseul and tapped her back. "Don't think too much about it." She frowned as she turned her head to Seongwoo. "Also, you're banned from practicing for more than an hour from today onwards. Look at your fingers, they're filled with blisters." He shook his head, and Jinyoung brought band-aids and began taping her fingers.

"But the lyrics.."

"That's okay!" Jaehwan entered the room, fully healed after his surgery. "BAM always sings the lyrics on the day itself. It's the surprise," and he looked at his fellow members to ride along. Woojin enthusiastically nodded, "That's the ritual, Riseul."

"I'm sure, you'll do well. You have a better voice than Jaehwan-hyung, and we're all thinking about replacing him now." Jinyoung consoled too, and Jaehwan glared at Jinyoung. "I just rested for 3 weeks and I'm now replaced? What do you say about 2 vocalists instead?" He suggested, and the other members shook their head to mess up with him.

"We've got a visual vocalist now. We're finally living up to our reputation of visual band," Seongwoo notified and Jaehwan stomped his feet. Riseul got distracted from her worries and they set off from the practice room. Jihoon accompanied Riseul on the way home.

"I know you can do it." Jihoon stated while they were crossing the road, his eyes focused straight ahead. She nodded with little confidence. The night passed and gone in blink of an eye.

The band continued to practice and there were only 3 days left before the performance, and frustration was eating her up.

"Are you okay?" Jihoon asked, and opened an umbrella as they left the practice room. The rainy season was fast approaching. "I'm fine." Jihoon raised an eyebrow noticing the icy tone of Riseul.

She remained silent throughout the whole walk when they'd usually banter or talk about their day, so while they were in front of Riseul's apartment complex, Jihoon asked again. "Are you really okay?"

"I am. Don't worry about me," and Jihoon remembered that tone. Riseul spoke that way when he was trying to bridge the distance. When he was trying to discover more about her, and it irritated him to feel like they were strangers again.

"You're speaking like that again," he grumbled being infected by Riseul. She turned back, leaving the key stuck on the keyhole. "Like what?"

"You're placing a distance again.... Between us, am I not trustworthy?" Jihoon frowned, but quickly regained his self-control before more thoughtless words spilled from his mouth. "Ah. I'm sorry," he bowed and covered his head with the umbrella as he walked away.

God, he was such an idiot for letting feelings come into play.

There was only two days left before the competition, and the whole band was busily preparing and polishing their playing but everyone noticed the rift between Jihoon and Riseul who kept a distance all throughout practice.

The two became close during practice sessions, and they were stuck like gum to each other as they rehearsed their respective parts and would banter in the process, but Jihoon kept a professional and civil stance towards Riseul who returned the same behavior by approaching Jihoon only when there were parts she had a hard time with, and immediately going away to continue practicing until Seongwoo tells her to stop playing for the day because of her blistered hands.

"What happened with the two of you?" Woojin brought up in the washroom as he wiped the sweat from his face and washed his face from the sink. "Let me guess, you got too emotional and said some insensitive things?" He shot him a knowing look, and Jihoon ran his two hands on his hair, pulled it in frustration, leaned his body on the sink and crossed his arms knowing full well how his little attempt of closing the distance led to more space between them.

"It's my fault." Jihoon admitted. Woojin pulled out tissue from the dispenser and wiped his hands. "It's good that you know. You guys need to patch it up. It's affecting the whole band." He threw out the tissue and left the washroom after he heard Seongwoo calling them for one last practice before the competition. They decided to take the last day as a day-off, and were advised to stay away from things that may injure them.

Riseul stepped out of the practice room earlier than the others that day. She thanked Seongwoo for excusing her from the last practice. He knew that the two avoided each other, and Riseul felt uncomfortable to walk home with Jihoon. Seongwoo didn't pry, but his gesture of patting her head and raising his arm to 'fighting' was meant for both the performance and for Jihoon.

She understood what Jihoon meant. She trusted the whole band, and she honestly didn't want to leave the vocalist position after the competition. At the same time, she didn't want to become too close and share what happened in the past not because of the lack of familiarity between them but it meant much more to her.

Pouring out all her sentiments towards the past would mean that it really was over - that she has accepted his death. That she was ready to move on. Deep inside, Riseul knew she was coping well. It wasn't a fresh wound but just a dull ache every once in a while, and it terrified her how fast she could let him slip from her fingers.

She didn't want to forget. That's why she clung so hard to that guitar, but now even that last tangible memory of him was starting to become replaced by new memories. Riseul was running out of excuses to keep holding on to Youngchul, and she knew that by the end of that road, their wordless communications would not be able to transmit the message she wanted him to hear.

'A song about what you want to say to someone.'

That was their song.

It was 8 in the morning and the band decided to meet up early for the first and last practice they would have with the lyrics. They were by the cafe beside the building where their practice room was located, nervousness visible in everyone. Woojin didn't utter a word despite his talkative demeanor. Seongwoo didn't joke around and just scrolled through his phone watching drum demos. Jaehwan who liked to cause trouble sat on the edge of the sofa, hands placed on his thighs, eyes scrolling through the other members. He cannot seem to say something to break the tension.

"She's not replying," Jinyoung informed them after he checked his phone for the 4th time since texting Riseul. Jihoon's lips were pressed into a thin line and he held the straw of his Iced Americano between his lips, slowly sipping.

"It's okay. She's the type to see this through." They nodded with understanding, but the nervousness remained. Ten minutes after, the wind chimes clung loudly and they all turned around as Riseul entered the cafe, eyes navigating around the occupied seats until they raised their hands and called for her excitedly.

She bowed incessantly until Seongwoo stopped her to tell her that it was okay, and that they weren't mad or anything. "We'll assume that you finished it?" Seongwoo grinned, and she smiled confidently as she turned to Woojin.

"Woojinie ~ " her words seemed like a foreboding to Woojin. He looked at her, pupils shaking and adam's apple bobbed dramatically.

"You can master a rap part in 12 hours, right?"

The members of the band were waiting backstage, and Riseul didn't understand how the others calmed their nerves, and how they were able to steel themselves to just laugh it off. Her fingers fidgeted, and she stood silently by the corner, beside the guitar racks. She sang in her mind the lyrics, but it only caused her heart to palpitate more.

"Bam!" Jihoon shrilled on her left ear, and her head twisted to his direction as she took a step back before covering her face and bending her legs until she squatted directly above the floor.

She removed her hands and saw Jihoon's face on her left as he crouched to position himself to directly face her. She knocked his chest and pouted, "That scared me!" He grinned goofily, satisfied with her reaction and rested his crossed arms on his knees.

"It took away your nervousness though. That's what we do whenever someone seems nervous. Just be glad that it wasn't Woojin or Jaehwan-hyung who did it, they're real dolphins." He sat beside her now, knees in front of his chest as he hugged it with his arms into a fetal position.

They sat silently beside one another not daring to speak a word just watching the other members play around to ease the tension. It was the last 5 minutes before they stood on stage, and they heard the faint rumble of the guitar and drums from the stage.

"I'm sorry." Jihoon said softly his hand reaching to his nape, and pinching it to distract himself. "Mmhm" Riseul drummed her fingers on her knees, and turned her head to him. "It’s okay. What you said back then, someone needed to say those words to me.. Thank you, Jihoon,” she bent her head and looked on the floor to whisper, “I’m glad that I met you.”

Seongwoo clapped his hands and gathered the attention of all of them. It was finally show time, and the nervousness that filled her awhile ago was gone. Instead, she was filled with the desire to own that stage like the rest of them whose eyes had a predatory gaze.

"Let's set that stage on fire."

B.A.M final now up ! a/n : This would be my shortest update because I didn’t know whether I should include the performance scene in this part or should I include it in the last. I decided to include it in the last because that’s like the highlight of this story, so look forward to the update ! ! ! It’s the final chapter coming up ! ! !  

wanna one masterlist