#and fwhip wants jimmy to give him pretty flowers :((

[hollowwish]

heather by conan gray as s1 fwhimmy......so many thoughts....

[ween-kitchens]

alien scar and creeper grian! also a flower husbands au I still love but never actually posted anything about here. in summary, one of fwhip's babies turned into a real baby and both scott and jimmy raised it together

(alien scar is very much stiff's idea ofc)

scar hears grian coming before he sees him, pretending not to notice even as the whoosh of the elytra alerts him to grian’s exact location. it’s been a couple months since grian found out that scar could hear him every time he ‘snuck up’ on him, and was slightly offended (but mostly endeared) when scar admitted he just pretended to be scared because he liked the smug grin on his face. since, grian has apparently forgotten, and only seems to remember when scar is entirely unfazed when grian tries to scare him.

this is one such time.

grian lands—pretty loudly actually, and scar wonders if grian’s hearing might not be all too good, because he’s fairly certain someone with just two ears could hear that—and grabs scar’s shoulders, giving a shout.

scar turns around, smiling pleasantly. “hey g!”

grian blinks, and scar laughs as he groans. “how do I keep forgetting?”

“I don’t know, but it’s very funny.” scar grins. “anything you want in particular, or did you just wanna scare me?”

grian’s face is flushed slightly green, but he doesn’t look annoyed. “I was gonna go bother tim, I haven’t seen him in a while. you wanna come?”

scar gasps. “do I!”

“let’s go then.” grian is apparently very pleased with his reaction.

grian launches himself off the roof of one of the scarland castle’s towers, and scar follows. he, entirely forgetting elytra are necessary for this, plummets to the ground. grian swoops down long enough for scar to grumble goodnaturedly about the gravity of this world, before he’s soaring off again—now actually followed by scar.

since the first time it opened, the rift is by far more accessible than before. a spiral staircase (sufficiently rickety and science lab-y, courtesy of zedaph) leads down the side of the cavern, and barrels full of elytra, rockets and ender pearls are placed in a helpful pile where the button used to be. 

the button was moved to a more secure location after joel decided to press it, and almost turned the whole rift off as jimmy was coming through. they all shudder to think about what would have happened if it had in fact turned off whilst jimmy was only partway through. 

they fly through the portal and out the other side. scar blinks at the sudden bright light in contrast to the cave’s murky greyness, and sees grian start out of the corner of his eye.

“oh my- why is there always someone in front of me when i come through?” grian says as joel cackles at him.

“I was gonna go visit scarland.” joel explains. “apparently the castle is done.”

“it is!” scar bounces, and joel visibly brightens. “you’ll have to let me show you around one day.”

“i’ll hold you to that.” joel grins. “also, I want another pair of jellie ears.”

“oh, joel!” grian says, apparently remembering something. “d’you know where timmy is? he hasn’t been on in a while and I was gonna go mess with him.”

an odd look overtakes joel’s expression; a mix between amusement, mischievousness and fondness. scar doesn’t reckon it’s a fantastic sign, but it is joel after all. he might just be happy to know jimmy is being messed with.

“he’s in tumble town.” he says. “just- remember to be quiet.”

grian blinks. “why?”

“you’ll see.” joel says unhelpfully, waving as he disappears into the rift.

grian turns to scar, who is equally lost as him. “I mean. we should probably see what that meant.”

“well, i for one am extremely curious.” scar agrees.

“why do we need to be quiet?” grian wonders.

scar pulls out his rockets. “let’s find out!”

-

since last he came, scar had known tumble town as a bustling, pretty noisy town. the blacksmiths hammering away, the clunks of construction work, the dull thud of miners close to the surface were just background noise in the cacophony of chatter, horse’s hooves and steel toed boots against the packed floor.

today though, it’s surprisingly quiet. it’s not eerie or suspenseful or threatening, but it is confusing. it’s a peaceful kind of quiet, like everybody agreed to be more considerate than usual.

scar glances at grian, who shrugs.

“I wonder if he’s just finished the town?” scar suggests.

“maybe.” grian glances around.

scar has to admit, it doesn’t look particularly finished—just the kind of ‘good enough’ that ends with grian leaving the back of every one of his bases unfinished. he wonders if that runs in the family. 

“he’s probably in his house.” grian says after a moment.

“I bet his house has a back to it.” scar says, and grian snorts in surprised laughter.

when grian knocks on the door to jimmy’s house, there’s no response. he looks at scar.

“do you reckon he’s out or..?”

“he might be in the tavern.” scar says. “I can’t think of many other places he could be.”

“joel might’ve just lied to us.” grian says. “he had that kind of look on his face.”

“he did.” scar agrees. “maybe-“

the door opens, and both of them turn to see jimmy. 

he looks oddly relaxed. his sleeves are rolled up, he’s not wearing that weird sleeveless jacket thing, and his hat is nowhere in sight. scar wonders for a second if he’s stopped doing the improv thing he’d explained a little while ago, when he notices what he’s holding.

or, more accurately, who he’s holding.

grian is the first to speak shout. “you have a child?!”

jimmy shushes him, but grins. “yeah, her name’s lexie.”

“oh, she’s adorable!” scar coos. “lexie?”

“who is it?” calls a voice from inside the house—unmistakably scott. scar and grian share a look.

“grian and scar.” jimmy calls over his shoulder.

“oh!” scott exclaims, and a moment later he’s at jimmy’s side. “hi, I haven’t seen you guys for a while.”

“yeah, ditto.” grian says, still looking pretty shocked. “you- I take it this is why?”

“our pride and joy.” jimmy says it like he’s joking, but the fondness in his eyes tells another story.

“so, uh.” grian says. “how did you guys.. get her?”

jimmy nudges scott, who rolls his eyes. “that is a very long story.”

scar raises an eyebrow. “oh?” he teases.

jimmy flushes pink and scott bursts out laughing. 

“not like that!” jimmy hisses.

“you know the crown?” scott says.

“oh! like ‘the crowwnnn’.” scar sings, and grian looks at him like he’s grown a second head.

“what?” 

“lizzie has a musical.” scar explains, which, judging by grian’s expression, has raised more questions than it’s answered.

“yes, that crown.” scott nods. “scar if you show him the musical, skip deal with destiny.”

“oh I could never.” scar says earnestly and scott groans.

jimmy kisses his cheek. “I will never understand you. it’s so good!”

“it’s embarrassing.” scott says, but softens when jimmy bumps his hip against scott’s.

“anyway, fwhip got the crown and his rule was to take care of these ‘babies’.” jimmy continues. “scott went to spawn because fwhip had decorated and he wanted to see.”

“but what I didn’t anticipate was that fwhip would be forcing the ‘babies’ on everyone who he saw.” scott grins.

“you keep saying ‘babies’,” grian says. “is she not a baby?”

“well, she is now.” jimmy says, bouncing lexie gently. “but she used to be a doll that cried a bit.”

“like father, like daughter.” scar says sagely, and grian cackles.

“oh, that’s a whole other story.” jimmy grins.

“I wanna know the first story first.” scar says.

“okay, well I panicked because I did not expect to be a father.” scott says.

“this was six in the morning.” jimmy adds.

“yes, and so I thought ‘who on this server would be the best with kids?’.” 

“and you picked jimmy?” grian says.

“and I was right to.” scott defends.

“you missed the part where you woke me up at six o’ clock and thrust a child upon me.” jimmy bumps him. “not to mention we were barely allies at that point.”

“yeah, I just wanted the free gunpowder.” scott grins. “not that you had any.” he pokes jimmy in the shoulder.

“creepers don’t shed as much when they’re happy!” jimmy protests. “sorry for keeping them in humane conditions.”

“you two argue like a married couple in every life.” grian says, and scar can’t help but agree.

“in a considerable amount of them we are married.” scott points out.

“that’ll explain it.” scar says.

“we did spend most of our time when we became friends for the first time calling each other ‘beloved husband’.” jimmy muses.

“are you guys married?” scar asks.

“we’ve been dating for a month, scar.” jimmy grins.

“hey, you guys got married within ten minutes of meeting on third life.” scar says. “a month is a long time in comparison!”

“death games are different.” scott says, cheeks dusted pink.

“no, you’re just a softie.” jimmy teases.

“oh, i’m a softie?” scott says, and scar gets the impression that they’ve had this conversation before.

“alright, alright-“ jimmy says hurriedly, blushing. 

scar glances at grian, who looks as curious as he feels.

“I distinctly remember someone telling me that they’d sacrifice the world for me.” scott says.

“aw, tim.” grian teases.

“oh shush.” jimmy says, an ear flicking in embarrassment.

[blicketdabest33]

Y'all remember that MCYT PJO au I asked for help with awhile ago? WELL HERE'S THE CABINS AND MY EXPLINATIONS BEHIND THEM!!

#1 Zeus Cabin: Jimmy, Joel Jimmy: He's a Zeus kid, but everyone somehow forgets about it. Joel: He's competitive and strong. Also, because Jimmy is his half brother through godly parent, i get to make a fun bit about him dating Lizzie. And one of his origins in Afterlife SMP was a thunderborn

#2 Hera Cabin: Scott Scott: Scott's whole thing is loyalty. Hera is the goddess of marriage and is insanely loyal to Zeus. However, I feel like Hera should get at least one affair. So now Scott can use peacocks as weapons.

#3 Poseidon Cabin: Skizz Skizz: Poseidon kids tend to be really, really loyal to a fault and heroic, both qualities I think Skizz possesses.

#4 Demeter Cabin: Sausage, Shelby, Bdubs, Stress Sausage: This man built Sanctuary in a jungle and has flowers in his hair. He sells wood. There is no other place to put him. Shelby: Mushroom gnome, spooky mangrove witch, powerful storm witch, i need not continue. Bdubs: Moss man. Stress: SHE HAS FLOWERS

#5 Ares Cabin: Martyn, False Martyn: His planet is Mars, which is the roman version of Ares. He ended Limited Life in such a violent way, i can't help it. He was also red for the majority of Secret Life. False: I just feel like False should get to kill people more often.

#6 Athena Cabin: Grian, Pix, Owen, Xisuma Grian: This sums it up pretty well

Pix: Smart man. Archeologist and definitely a nerd. I wanna see him skipping out on training just so he can read history books. Owen: He likes to explore and discover new things in Pirates. In Rats, he's a tinkerer. In New Life, he's an explorer who wants to study hybrids. In Empires, he's a Llama who's curious about how humans work. Just a very curious character overall. Xisuma: Admin. I'm not elaborating.

#7 Apollo Cabin: Gem, Oli, Lyarrah Gem: She is an Apollo kid because of her Empire in S2. She's the sunlight princess. Apollo kid. Oli: MUSIC. MAN. Lyarrah: She writes the captions for the hermitcraft recap.

#8 Artemis Cabin: Pearl Pearl: Y'know, Artemis could've just like... had a kid, even though she took that oath. It wouldn't even have to be with a guy. Gods can change to whatever gender they want. Anyway, Pearl gets to be an Artemis kid because her symbolism is moon, she loves dogs, and will commit murder and hunt at night.

#9 Hephaestus Cabin: Doc, Mumbo, Tango, Impulse, Cub, Zedaph, Fwhip, Iskall Doc: Redstone Mumbo: Redstone Tango: Redstone Impulse: Redstone Cub: Redstone Zedaph: Redstone Fwhip: Redstone AND has a red scarf (don't ask me how that's relevant) Iskall: Redstone

#10 Aphrodite Cabin: Keralis Keralis: Okay, I don't know why, but Keralis gives me the vibes of a very charming person. His voice is nice to listen to, so imagine how useful it'd be if I gave him charm speak.

#11 Hermes Cabin: Scar, Etho, Joe Scar: Trader Scar, scammer extraordinar. Etho: All i must say is Shady-E's. I get "jack-of-all-trades, master of none, often better than master of one" vibes from him. He's funny, he's mischievous, it just works. Joe: Comedy man. Excellent delivery. And, yet again, i look at this man and go "That right there is a multi-talented man with a habit for mischief."

#12 Dionysus Cabin: Joey, Beef Joey: *points at his season one empires theme* i need not say more Beef: Idk, food. I don't really have a reason. I don't know too much about Beef.

#13 Hades Cabin: Zloy Zloy: Zombie man. He writes the Hermitcraft recaps in the dark at 2am with nothing but pure spite.

#14 Iris Cabin: Katherine Katherine: SHE. HAS. COLORS. and also I couldn't put her in Demeter cabin because Shelby is already there and i am NOT excluding Nature Wives from this au

#15 Hypnos Cabin: Bigb, XB, Wels Bigb: Sleepy stuff, right? WRONG. Gaslight. Go in everyones dreams, make fake prophecies, peace out, and cause chaos. XB: I look at his fanon design, I see an alien, and I go "aha he sleeps" Wels: This guy (@dingdinghq) said so and i completely agree. Something about sleeping in S6.

#16 Nemesis Cabin: Edit: wels not here no more

#17 Nike Cabin: Ren Ren: VICTORY. I don't know much about Ren's story in the Life Series, but I look at this man and see someone who has won a lot.

#18 Hebe Cabin: 

#19 Tyche Cabin: TFC TFC: Man goes mining and gets really lucky. That's it.

#20 Hecate Cabin: Lizzie, Cleo, Jevin Lizzie: Witchy vibes. Also, Arson. Cleo: Arson. She uses her magic for Arson. Jevin: He's a magic slime. Also, Arson. All Hecate kids love Arson.

[tubbytarchia]

Jimmy X Life thoughts

This is long (ft. fWhip and Scott and Joel)

TLDR: its all kinda cute but then devolves into Jimmy misery anyway even though he has done nothing

Jimmy's really cute builds??? to lure you in

Obligatory: I only talk about characters

X Life is a goddamn fever dream lol, following are some jumbled thoughts that I've divided into "Jimmy", ""fWhip and Joel", "Jeremyism" and "Scott" thoughts (all in relation to Jimmy). Shoutout to my friend for liveblogging and discussing together with me and pointing out some stuff I missed or better than I could

-- Jimmy thoughts

Jimmy's actually relatively happy within this series, at least at the beginning, and there is no significant "bullying Jimmy" kind of culture thing in place here, even though chronologically this series came after and partially ran at the same time as Legacy where it was very prevelant. They even hold a 100K milestone ceremony for him and it's very cute. Namely though fWhip and Joel treat him very nicely, he even has many really cute interactions with Scott!! I'm not gonna talk about shipping past this one statement but as someone who hasn't liked fWhimmy till now and finds Flower Husbands really interesting but not always healthy, it was... Really relieving to see both of those duos be really cute for me personally. But in spite of this there's still, sigh, a lot of Jimmisery...

Pretty early on, he decides on this thing "Whoever is nice to me gets a stack of diamonds" like, my sweet cheese.... You don't need to give people so much just for being nice to you.... your bank account is in constant ruin!! Lizzie also mods in coffee stuff specifically for him and Jimmy proclaims that any profits he makes from his coffee shops he will split with Lizzie as a thanks... he's so sweet stop it

Near the beginning he's way more assertive than I've grown used to. There's a point where Scott is waiting for him and he can SEE Scott in the distance but then just strolls the shopping district while Scott tells him to hurry up only for Jimmy to mostly ignore him. Another exchange between them goes S: "did I say you could use my villager?" and Jimmy replying "Did I say you could bring me a crab that'd then kill me? Didn't THINK SOOOO!!!". There's so many moments like this and it's so... it's so awesome to see. What changed.... Why can't there be more of this...

But then at some point he starts being harsh towards himself? He starts to call himself an idiot and starts proclaiming "I hate myself" for the most understandable little mishaps and things like?? Son?? He figures out how to make his advertisement poster bigger like everyone else's is and then when he does quickly figure it out all on his own he goes "I hate myself, I really do" WHAT'S THAT FOR. WHAT'S THAT FOR JIMMY!!!! Another moment to point out, Lizzie doing a friendship test thing and she already has pictures of 3 contestants. She calls Jimmy over for him to try and qualify, and when he sees the pictures he says that those look like smart people and he doesn't think he'll make it...

This isn't exclusive to X Life but him building stuff and calling it lovely and being easily excited at discovering the most basic building tricks, but then as soon as someone else is in the picture he immediately starts downplaying himself and calling his building bad...

At some point there's a war that Jimmy really wants to avoid but he gets roped into it by Jack blowing up Peekay's house (totally obliterated that thing) and framing Jimmy for it. Later when there's a confrontation, both he and Peekay clearly know it was Jack, but they fault Jimmy anyway, saying he's escalating things when he's just like. Standing there. Jimmy even ends up asking "what can I do for you to forgive me, for something I didn't do" like no stand your ground man!! You didn't do anything!! Man.... In the end he ends up rebuilding stuff for Jack (why Jack??? I dont know) and when Jack is the first person out of the series, in his Will he stated something along the lines of "I want Jimmy executed because he did a bad job rebuilding my things". And then Jimmy gets set on fire as everyone watches him burn to death. He didn't do anything!!!!!

There's a therapy session after this in which, when Gem asks him to open up, all he says is "Yesterday I woke up and was taken advantage of, that is all"

I think it's Peekay (could be wrong) who also utterly doused Jimmy's house in water as a prank but it... was awful lol. Jimmy's house ended up with lots of holes but at least he was all "I was gonna rebuild anyway". That peeved me so much though... For comparision, Scott pulled a prank on Jimmy where he rebuilt one of his rooms upside down (so kind of moved his furniture to the ceiling) but that's high effort and funny and causes less damage so that's all fair in my books. Good prank. The water dousing was not

He and Scott had a brief prank exchange, but the ONLY thing I can think of where Jimmy was knowingly, unjustifiably in the wrong, was when he cheated on an auction by bidding on a painting after the auction had closed. And even that is such a small offense!! Genuinely all the misery he was caused was just him being caught in the crossfire of other people's shit and it's... ough I don't want to say "he has never done anything wrong" because he totally has but BARELY. Why is it always like this... Hardly ever does he do anything that warrants the things that happen to him

Jimmy's also pretty if not really nice to the mobs, vanilla and modded. In his and Scott's shelter business, he brought in a hostile mob twice with the justification "hostile mobs deserve a home too!!" </3 dawh. He'd make mobs nice enclosures... But then he fucking HATES chickens. He kills them like nothing. Proclaims "I'll enjoy every second of this". Goes "I'll kill only a few of you..." and then kills 10 of them. Violently and instantly kills one stray chicken that escaped his enclosure as Lizzie watches on in horror with the two pandas she just helped bring over. It's kind of insane?? Why.... You're a rancher at heart, what's with the chicken slaughter.... My friend pointed to him canonically being compared to a chicken once. Do with that what you will. Oh also when he came dead last in a race, his immediate reaction upon finishing was to brutally kill his horse?????????? Jimmy??????????????????????????

ALSO he's a good builder?? A lot of people have expressed that Jimmy's building skills have been getting better but I beg to differ, his builds in this series are all really charming and cute? They're not very detailed but they're simplistic and I love it, he obviously has an eye for pleasant looking builds and I'm so SO sad we don't see this too much anymore... There's also a cute moment where he builds a roof out of dirt, says he'll replace it later but apparently his commenters really liked it so he kept it... That's so Jimmy....

-- fWhip and Joel thoughts in relation to Jimmy

fWhip especially is almost (we'll get to that) undingly nice to Jimmy here, and I even felt bad for him in several instances related to Jimmy. Joel is more softspoken as he was in general 3 years ago, and was also almost (we'll get to that) totally nice to Jimmy. At some point they do a horse race and Jimmy comes in dead last but both he and fWhip cheer him on anyway. Joel says "well done Jimmy you nerd" but it's Joel so that counts as him being nice and awesome. It's also very cute that he was partially presenting Jimmy's 100K milestone ceremony, even if it was basically just him calling Jimmy a "wonderful creature" after, to quote my friend, almost vomiting on stage. But it's Joel so it counts

Joel also builds something for Jimmy at some point but whilst they're discussing what it should be like, they land on the word "broken" and Joel goes "broken, like you" and Jimmy replies "broken, like me" like????? Help me this was so early too. That came from NOWHERE. What????? Joel was nice otherwise though... except for one other moment

All three of them create a building business and do acknowledge and agree that Jimmy's not doing the hardest part (building) and doesn't get as much of the profit, seeing as he's just the receptionist. It's still a mostly happy businessship though. They get two bad reviews (from Scott and Peekay) because of Jimmy but all three of them in both instances ultimately agree that Jimmy wasn't at fault. Stuff like Joel taking down a bad review left on a sign saying "the customer isn't always right". Jimmy catches wind of a rumor at some point that he's being fired and when the awaited meeting happens, fWhip and Joel name him receptionist of the month instead, praising him for his hard work in advertising for the business and also making lots and lots of coffee (he's the only one who can even operate the coffee machine lmao. He's really proud of it too, it's very cute. He even keeps bringing it up in an effort for the other two to recognise his value before he gets the news he's anticipating). Jimmy even says "I'm glad that, yknow, you're seeing it. Cus sometimes. yknow. it's really hard for me to feel.. useful. like you guys are building spectacular things and I'm. I'm trying my best." he's genuinely so, so happy and sounds like he's on the brink of tears (claims to be as well)

BUT SIKE PLOT TWIST because I hate myself I went to skim Joel's POV too and he and fWhip actually spoke to one of the other members about Jimmy being a bad receptionist, all "it's Jimmy, you know...". fWhip enforces this and Joel even says "Not to pass blame onto Jimmy but it's all his fault" after which the firing rumor starts to spread. And as far as I could tell, it's forever left ambiguous if they were genuine to any degree when they named him receptionist of the month and this will now keep me up at night. Did they genuinely think Jimmy was at fault in spite of encouraging him that he wasn't? Did they do what they did just to make Jimmy happy even if they believed him to be at fault? Or were they talking shit that one time for no reason...

Joel makes this religion "Jeremyism" to spite Scott (for renaming a bunch of his pets) which Jimmy is the first person to join and is pretty much undyingly devoted to till the very end in spite of the fever dream that spirals from it by the end...

Ignoring that one incident of Joel and fWhip bad-mouthing Jimmy, fWhip was very nice to him, throughout Jimmy's POV at least. I'd like to especially draw attention to fWhip trusting Jimmy to show some other members how to build some houses, like, awgh,,, finally some Jimmy building ability recognition!!! Good for you fWhip!!! They almost exclusively talked in relation to businesses though and at some point made a deal with Jimmy to join Jeremyism if Jimmy would come and basically just hang out with him in the jungle or go on a little adventure. This never happened though

Joel ends up giving up his position as the Jeremyism leader "for content" (??) to anyone who can complete his death obstacle course. Jimmy does, though unfairly by accident (Joel said it was fine though), but finds at the very end of it that someone has already reached this point before him, and of course it was Scott... Scott turns Jeremyism into a proper cult by enforcing rigid rules, his leadership and word, stating that you have to die in order to leave the cult, and his right hand Lizzie demands diamonds as offerings (none of this was a thing before). None of the members seem to be fans, but Joel and Jimmy especially voice and show discomfort, though Jimmy still quickly offers up his diamonds. fWhip fucking burns himself right there thus leaving the cult (king shit) and when he comes to the window from the outside to wave at them, Jimmy is quick to call him a "traitor" and tries to block the view with blocks (this is where I feel for fWhip who has been nothing but nice to Jimmy from Jimmy's POV). Joel makes pathetic attempts at killing Scott with an anvil (fails) and then killing himself (fails)

Gem and Kath put on a therapy session at some point which Jack, fWhip and Jimmy attend. Jimmy states not to want to talk to fWhip (which again hurts) and fWhip makes a subtle jab at Jimmy for never spending time with him in his jungle like he'd promised (totally justified). Jack also hits Jimmy for being part of Jeremyism right at the start, but then when he's jokingly drowning, Jimmy saves him, and he goes "you saved me!! :D". At the end, Jimmy tries to shoot bubbles (not damaging but a nuisance) at fWhip from a distance, at which fWhip starts to run at him to try to lasso him (lassoing a player puts them in a glitchy noclip dimension which they need to relog to get out of). They run around for awhile, fWhip eventually succeeds, Jimmy relogs and then Jack fucking murders fWhip. And then says "I did it for you" to Jimmy. Which, ok. Fast progression, a little insane... fWhip comes back and claims to feel great though. Jimmy pretty much leaves and runs off at this point and unfortunately he and fWhip never make up or have another nice interaction before the finale (I'm quite sure)

Joel uhh Joel just kinda fucks off lol he doesn't even die (Jimmy fills in Joel's grave anyway though)

-- Jeremyism thoughts

Mentioned above how devoted Jimmy was to Joel's religion, and to me it really reads like him finding a home. Like, a genuine home, idk... He really did a lot for it, trying to recruit members and taking care of several Jeremy donkeys and making offerings (Joel also gifted him multiple times)

When Scott takes over, he's clearly very distraught. He tried hard to become the new leader of Jeremyism specifically to stop Scott from ruining it. And yet when Scott does, he can't help but stay, quickly labels fWhip a traitor, offers up his diamonds easily... Even as he's asking for Joel to get up there where Scott is standing, instead of Scott. Jeremyism is done for but Jimmy still holds onto an idea of it

And he does this by literally building a Jeremyism hideout secret from Scott and Lizzy, where he and the other remaining members can hang out. Like come on!! He just wants Jeremyism back... He himself states it's "all I have" and "the one real purpose I had on this server was Jeremyism. And now it's gone" (this is basically before he kills himself and ends his series)

-- Scott thoughts in relation to Jimmy

As I said, they had some really cute interactions. Scott actually treated him nicely and his teasing felt lighthearted enough to not be anything worse than that. They dress up all cute for Halloween, they shoot bubbles at each other, Scott teaches him how to ride a flying carpet, Jimmy's not afraid to be a little sassy back at him... He replaced 3 of Scott's pets as a prank because Scott had gotten him a crab that killed Jimmy at some point, and in retaliation Scott doused his house in crabs, but then they like, ate lunch together date style, it was all good and fun, mutual foolery...

And then this one episode, to quote my friend, someone pissed in Scott's cereal and he's suddenly very dismissive of Jimmy's building skills and contributions like I'd expect to see in Third Life???? They see this arguably amateurishly built hut and Scott turns to Jimmy all accusatory "did you build this??". They build an animal shelter together which is cute but then Scott dismisses Jimmy and says he did almost all of the work and proclaims that he should get almost all of the profits etc. And it pisses me off because just like in 3L, this was a building he just ripped from somewhere else to begin with!! He did lay the foundation and such but you can see Jimmy helping build a decent amount in the timelapse...

At some point he also seems ashamed to admit that Scott helped him with his storage system :(

When Scott reads out Jack's wish to have Jimmy executed, Jimmy goes and basically kneels before Scott, telling him to do it. Scott can't because of spawn protection, but Jimmy gets set on fire instead and he?? Runs to Scott??? He runs to Scott and basically kneels before him AGAIN and Scott does NOTHING and I I don't know I might be insane but. Holy shit this is a fever dream and feels like abstract symbolism but ough that hurt. That hurt a lot. Why did Jimmy run to Scott, why did he kneel/crouch before him as he was burning to death... What was he trying to do... Was he seeking something.... comfort...? Neigh... I just wish to know...

Scott in general is a fever dream in this all by himself though. They all turn up for Jack's funeral and then Scott starts talking about how he tried to be nice and expresses disappointment in having been met with disposition (finding out that Jimmy had a secret Jeremyism cove) acting all "if you want a villain I'll give you a villain!" as if he weren't already one after the cult he turned Jeremyism into and then suicide bombs the entire church still during Jack's funeral. ????? Jesus christ

This screenshot isn't relevant but Im giving it to you anyway

[adina123]

Empires smp god au

Pearl Goddess of the harvest and farming her title was literally the farmer pearl and in the past people kept track of harvest by looking at the phases of the moon and positioning of the constellations

Lizzie the trickster goddess of the ocean and government ocean because in season one she was a fish goddess and government because in season two she was a mayor and in both she is a scam artist trying to make a profit through morality ambiguous means

Joel god of thunder and art in canon he is the god of thunder and if anyone in empires was a art god it would be the guy that sculpted clones of himself and built stratos/mezalia

Katherine goddess order and balance and duality she fights evil by transforming from the pretty pink princess to the axe wielding warrior and as lady Katherine of the overgrown she is the one that is neutral the one that Try’s to keep order

Jimmy is The god of death for obvious reasons

Joey is the god of wealth and desire because he is a pirate and pirates like gold also he steals from false and really wants to get in xornoth s pants he also Katherine’s (understandable)

Shubble is the goddess of nature and the wild because her whole wolf thing she had going on in the first season of empires and the infected outlaw thing she had in season 2

Scott god of the passage of time and the four seasons (and rainbows) because he has connections to flowers (spring) in life series and stars in origin smp and winter in empires smp

Pix god of messengers and prophecies( he is in charge of the recaps that gives people information they might have missed also he is a prophet)

Fwhip god of fire and revenge because in both seasons of empires he has had a stubborn heated rivalry with jimmy and did not take the break up well also in art his hair is fire truck red

Gem goddess knowledge and magic because she as the wizard gem she is a powerful magician and because as the princess of dawn she teaches others about the sun god also the wizard gems empire is literally a school

Sausage love and family and lust because he is known for his platonic love (Hermes and Eddie and pearl) and let’s say his passionate spicy love( pole dancing and flirting)

Oli god of music and insanity he is a bard and who’s words make zero sense to everyone and watching him you get sensory overload ( he is the oldest but nobody believes him)

false goddess of mystery and adventure and new beginnings because she is lost her memory and is a very adventurous person also do to the lost memories she basically started from square one when she came to empires

[aestheticallynotdeerlightful]

Jimmy Stream “summary” (more of a recap) post (Mar 28 2023)

Spoilers obviously

(I’m sorry if this post looks weird on mobile my tumblr was being stupid)

Lots happened this stream. More Fae stuff especially, Jimmy gets cursed

So let’s begin

It begins with jimmy receiving a note from the Fae

A quest to receive the “First creeper skull” located in a temple to the south of tumbletown

The fae wants this skull to “Study it so they become apart of this realm” jimmy accepts this and begins the quest with a comment of

“Fae i will not let you down! You gave me my wings and I am forever in your debt” doing a little bow and then “forever. The fae respects me and I respect the fae.”

So heads out to find the tower where he finds the “proper and right wrong un’s”

After clearing the tower he finds the map to the temple alongside some flowers, emeralds and iron, he leaves the flowers behind (this is relevant later)

Eventually he finds the temple (appearing like a standard desert temple) and heads inside finding this wall of signs the legible signs read

“The entrance appears only in the moonlight

Stand only in darkness and be guided by light

Do not give into greed

Beware of traps and pitfalls”

So we wait for night, eventually a staircase opens up and Jim heads down to two puzzle rooms

“Sometimes you must take the hardest path” which is the blackstone pressure plates. And then a room filled with trapped buttons (one of which Jimmy activates)

And then finally makes it to a pot (this is where mentioned flowers would’ve come in useful) jimmy uses a cactus instead and a stairwell opens up taking him down to the treasure room

So- despite the warning, takes some gold and gets attacked by strange husks. Returns the gold, grabs them skull and returns home to the fae “Fae is gonna be so happy with me :D”

This is where things get complicated, because fwhip comes to visit and in the midst of talking someone or something invisible takes the skull and runs and moves it elsewhere, so jimmy puts it back to its original spot. This is just where the chaos begins

In spawns some husks, everytime he picks up the skull he gets lit on fire. Eventually jimmy starts to hear a weird noise (dolphins chirps) but fwhip or Scott can’t seem to hear them. Which you can find here,

Lizzie also arrives Scott starts messing with the skull as well and vex start appearing instead, attacking jimmy. They start discussing why Jimmy is doing what the fae wants with Lizzie remarking

——

Lizzie: “Why do you serve it willingly Jimmy”

Jimmy: “because it’s the only one pro- that pretty much respects me” and him mentioning all the gifts and favors. Calling it “lovely” and “adorable”.

——

The three decide to mess with jimmy- as per usual, stressing him out because everytime the skull is moved and picked up he gets attacked (here) he decides to keep the skull on him instead and it does not go well at all. In retaliation to his and and then groups surprise he is swarmed by vex, about 15 or so of them

The others remark that perhaps he should burn the skull, after going over the note again. Believing it may be a possible malicious entity and that he shouldn’t bring one of those to the server and he says

“If I burn it I don’t think I’m- I don’t think I’m living.” Very nervously. but after some prodding he eventually does it. It does not go well. Immediately upon burning it he is attacked by a swarm of zoglins, more spawning until he dies (here)

After coming back and receiving his gear something pops into his inventory. Two “First creeper” skulls. Remarking how he thinks he’s cursed. And then immediately burns them. It doesn’t go well obviously, this time attacked by ravagers and respawns with four skulls now.

After everything he decides to leave the skulls in his bank for safe keeping, not wanting to burn them once more and receives a note

So this wasn’t the fae attacking him for messing with the skull. This is a curse from the temple spirits. The fae continue to make squeaks, squeaking more when he leaves the skulls, and even making a couple dragon roars he brings the skulls back to the fae afterwards

And you think it would be all done and over with. But no. No. The curse strikes again, blowing up jimmys tnt cart. And then he leaves off the stream with a “always read the terms and conditions”

.

So that was a lot to take in. More deals with the fae, pissed off some temple spirits and died several times.

[stellocchia]

any character or characters from ESMP, preferably at least one character per season, feel free to mix and match any.

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

🫂 A friendship headcanon

💝 A headcanon about their love language

💔 An angsty headcanon

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them

[Ask Game]

Alright, mish and mash for our Empires beloveds

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

I'll go with Season 1 Scott for this one.

As the crown prince of Rivendell, he had a lot of pressure put on him since he was very young to be perfect.

All of his time was scheduled. When he wasn't taking lessons in politics he was studying ancient runes. When he wasn't doing that he was studying how to play the flute, how to swordfight, poetry, literature, and magic. There was always so much to do that he never really got a proper childhood or friends.

The only proper friend he had was his brother... until he left at least..

🫂 A friendship headcanon

Giving this one for Season 2 Lizzie and Fwhip.

Despite the fact that their alliance was only born out of convenience and the proximity of their kingdoms, they actually ended up being extremely close friends.

They go out for drinks together often and vent to each other about everything that's going on in their life, which is usually Lizzie saying how she hates resisting fixing up her fur in public, and Fwhip complaining about Jimmy. Honestly, they both need it.

💝 A headcanon about their love language

Season 2 Joey for this one.

His main love language is a pretty obvious one, and it's gift-giving. That, however, is just the way he likes to express his affection, not really the way he likes to receive it.

When he's on the receiving end he's a sucker for words of affirmation. He could quite literally melt for a compliment. Call him a handsome lad once and he'll cover you in gold.

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

Season 2 Joel for this one.

Well, this one is easy. He lies about EVERYTHING.

Him being a god? Lie.

Upper Stratos floating? Lie.

The gaps in the bridges of Upper Stratos? Lie.

His appearance, from the beard, to the height, to the muscles? Lie.

Jimmy being a toy? Lie.

The fountain that gave everything to him is just a source of illusions and he's fully aware of it. But he's so far in that he can't just stop now.

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

Let's go with Season 1 Lizzie.

She's not terrible in the fighting department... she's just not good when it comes to traditional fighting. She can barely use a sword and axes are too heavy for her.

But she's a smart fighter and she's not afraid to play dirty. After all, that's how she got the crown. She's more than willing to mix in some psychological warfare in her fights.

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

Going with season 1 Flower Husbands because, yeah.

They met for the very first time at a diplomatic meeting they were dragged to (Scott by his parents and Jimmy by the cod council). They noticed each other across the room, first. Scott didn't want to be impolite, so he didn't approach, but Jimmy never had any such worries. He just grabbed a bunch of flowers from a table that he really shouldn't have taken and offered them to Scott because "he was as pretty as them".

That's when the crush that later developed into proper love started.

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

Season 2 Katherine for this one.

There is nothing that pisses her off more than not being listened to.

She had enough of that with her parents, she definitely doesn't need more of that energy in her life.

It's also why she rarely can stand pirate Joe because goddamn does that boy not listen.

She also hated the fight between Shelby and Joey because neither of them listened to a word she said. She didn't want people getting hurt over her and they didn't stop for a second to consider what she wanted.

(tw death, fire, burning alive under the cut)

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them

Let's see... season 2 Shelby for this one.

So, Shelby is an orphan. She lost her parents when she was pretty young, but still old enough to remember everything perfectly. There was a magical incident that set the house they lived in on fire and no one could put it out.

Shelby was dragged away from the house kicking and screaming by her grandma, while her parents weren't as lucky. They got trapped inside their bedroom and could do nothing but scream in agony as they were consumed by the flames.

Shelby saw it all.

Her grandma is the only relative she has left and, after that, she was understandably against Shelby joining the Academy but, well, we know how that went.

[majickth]

Hey Majick, interested in your au your currently writing rn? Could you give us some stuff about the empires emperors and what their life is after the whole door incident?

Heck yea!!

Pix — post incident, hes got a background in archeological research and works as a history professor at a pretty prestigious uni. Ironically good about putting the past behind him. He’s the first to leave the group, having been pulled out of the school by his parents, but also the first one found by False.

Scott — he runs a small antique shop. hes learned to move on from a lot of things: his brother, his old crush, losing an eye (wears a prosthetic now, a purposefully flashy thing whose origin always changes depending on who he’s telling the story to; it’s never the real reason though)

Pearl — even after the incident, shes the only one who continues to return to the garden. 10 years later, she’s a janitor for Imperium, happy enough with the job (according to her strange musically inclined roommate that is). but she’s always yearning for something more. so one night she just disappears, nothing left behind but strange letters and an amnesiac to deliver them.

Sausage — he starts off as a bit of a rebel. not exactly a punk, but definitely an outsider of sorts. his only real friend is pearl. As an adult, though, he’s come to terms with a lot of things and now runs a sorta safehouse for kids who were like him. he’s even got a son now (it’s joel’s kid but that’s a whole thing to get into). Hes still friends with pearl and deadset on finding her

Joel — he wanted to be an artist; instead he inherits his fathers company, Stratos. hes rich, powerful, hes even got a family now (with sausage but, again, that’s a whole thing). comparatively, hes doing well for himself, except…he’s not happy. hes missing something, or rather that he left something behind. Or maybe something left him behind

Lizzie — before, she was captain of the swim team, but injuries sustained during The Incident forced her to drop out. As an adult, she works as a vet tech, which is a nice enough job. although she may tend to exaggerate a bit when talking to old friends (a lot actually, she’s lied about being mayor of a town and now she shes stuck with a mask of her own making)

Jimmy — he’s a sheriff. sorta. technically. so hes not an actual sheriff, but he does play one at a Wild West themed amusement park. And it’s a fun job! but when joel or fwhip are asking questions, its not the sort of answer he wants to give, not yet anyways.

Fwhip — a technician of sorts. he specializes in making flashy things: light fixtures, displays, special effects. his designs are eye catching. but rarely are they ever practical; thankfully, with ties to the filmmaking industry, his clients want flashy. he’s still in contact with jimmy despite their spotty relationship.

Gem — she hasnt forgotten The Incident, though she finds it easier to process when she pretends that all of that was just some elaborate play. Fittingly, she’s an up-and-coming actress whose most recent role involves playing a princess.

Joey — hes still looking for a thrill, that same rush as before when he was exploring another world. he travels, mostly by boat, occasionally doing jobs for people like ferrying them around. sometimes he smuggles things, but that’s neither here nor there and definitely not something he’d say aloud.

Shelby — she was expelled from the school following the incident, a mix of failing grades and being caught in restricted areas. She runs a small flower shop with Katherine.

Katherine — was part of the unofficial official gardening club with Shelby, Sausage, and Pearl. The Incident pushed her into wanting to protect the people in her life, especially her roommate/business partner Shelby. Has secretly been learning to fight and occasionally moonlights as a bodyguard for hire.

Oli — he’s in crippling debt! A struggling musician and pearl’s roommate. has no idea what’s going on but he’s here for the ride! A surprising voice of reason and an outsider pov for everything

[unexistingdotnet]

Random Empires HeadCanons

Scattered HeadCanons, one for each emperor.

Gem: Gem has trained bees that she keeps as pets. They are trained to land on her arm like a Falcon. They also buzz around her home and sit on her head. They think she is a flower.

Katherine: Katherine is blind in one eye due to an incident before she can remember. During an earthquake, a vase broke and a shard of glass stabbed her eye. At this point it is mostly faded over.

False: When False is nervous, which nowadays is pretty much always, she makes simple little machines. She makes a lot of toys, which Sausage sometimes takes to give to Hermes, but right now, she is making the smallest, most efficient useless machine (a machine that's only purpose is to turn itself off) she possibly can.

Shelby: Shelby has a locked box under her bed filled with poems. They represent all her intense, unexpressed emotions. She is up to seven poems about Katherine right now, and is probably going to burn the box soon.

Oli: Oli has straight up perma-died thirteen times, and soft locked himself in holes four times. He has to keep resetting the world using fourth-wall breaking powers to keep himself alive.

Scott: Scott is wanted in three separate empires for crimes he committed when he was a rebellious teen. Luckily for him, the police are looking for one of his aliases, so he can still enter these empires, but there are definitely some people who have figured it out and are keeping it quiet.

Fwhip: Fwhip is a very good pickpocket, except he has never used it to steal things. He just uses it to slip little presents into his friends pockets, usually rats. They never seem to appreciate it much, except for Lizzie, for some reason.

Joey: Joey can't swim. Despite being a pirate, he never learned how to properly swim. He can just kind of doggie paddle and tread water.

Joel: Joel was bullied by his fellow gods for being too kind to humans, and part of his plan for Stratos is to demonstrate how mean he can be to humans. So far, no one is convinced.

(I wrote this before Joel’s newest episode, but I’m keeping it. I think It actually works better if he can’t remember it.)

Lizzie: Lizzie has developed a habit of going to Stratos, sitting in whatever room Joel is in and pointedly not looking at Joel. He has gotten used to this and has mostly started to ignore her, which is the most infuriating thing.

Sausage: Sausage can read minds. He doesn't know if it's an outgrowth of his powers. (I also absolutely think he knows Shelby's lying about being on the run from the witch cops, and is just waiting for her to be ready to ask for help on her own)

Jimmy: Jimmy has begrudgingly started to incorporate the apple of lies and potion of truth into his fighting style. He grumbles while doing it, but he can’t argue with the fact that size-changing is very useful in combat.

Pix: Pix found the grave of his season one counter part. He took a quick ten minute break to have an existential crisis about it before promptly returning to the dig.

[this-tumbleweed-surecan-fish]

An Unfinished Writing Masterlist

Because I don’t feel like tracking everything down right now. Sorry. Also some I just didn’t feel like including? They’re disowned now. I’m gonna sort these by fandom and Mountark.

Mountark (My Beloved)

The Series

Poison the Well; 17/? Chapters, Hermitcraft

A mining town can be a prison colony if I want it to be. And an unsolved murder can be a murder mystery any day.

A Good Deal - A Bad Decision; 1/1 Chapters, Hermitcraft

Committing to a bond has consequences. 

Despite Everything (It is still you); 1/2 Chapters, Hermitcraft

In which Pearl decides to finally have a conversation with Grian. It's long overdue.

Let our Love be a Flame not an Ember; 2/? Chapters, Empires SMP

The love story of a scam artist and an artist.

To Burn That Town To The Ground; 2/? Chapters, Empires SMP

Breaking News! The infamous Wither Rose Gang has finally been captured! Those damned Criminals will be brought before a Court of Law and finally face Justice!

Really there are only four people who aren't happy when the judge gives the sentence.

The Bard on the Church; 1/1 Chapters, Empires SMP

A very short thing with the only purpose of putting that lad in situations.

Aka Oli in Mountark, what will he do?

New Arrival; 1/1 Chapters, Empires SMP

Day 3 of Febuwhump: Joel arrives in the naughty corner.

It’s Ringing (It’s for you); 1/1 Chapters, Evo SMP

Day 18 of Febuwhump: The Police vs Watchers (Fail) (Not Clickbait)

Multiple (aka idfk)

Fish’s Library of Various One-Shots; 15/?

It comes to me in Dreams; 11/-

A collection of dreams from different worlds and visions of different lives. Aka I smush Evo, Empires, 3rd Life, Last Life and Hermitcraft into one crossover au.

Sorry I Came Back Wrong; 4/? Empires and Life Series Elements

The ankle had healed, the crush hadn't gotten better. And somehow since then everything and nothing at all had changed.

fWhip tries to deal with his crush and absolutely nothing goes wrong ever, not at all. - Can someone tell Grian to stop giving out weird shit? Also, why is his sister back in her magic phase?

FebuWhump 2023

Hermitcraft

All Dressed Up; 1/1 Chapters

In which Beef finds out that his boyfriend has a maid dress. That's it. 

Hitmen don’t get kidnapped by Spirits; 1/? Chapters

At least usually.

Iskall is not sure how he got into this situation. She's pretty sure it's better than prison though.

In which people need to stop vandalizing Cleo’s garden; 1/1 Chapters

Joe is about to contemplate the moral implications of encouraging two teenagers to commit murder before he realizes that he is friends with a god of death who runs a school that teaches teenagers to commit murder, and that is probably a train of thought he'll need a whole night for. 

A HC Soul Eater AU

Hiking Log; 1/1 Chapters

Day 22 of Febuwhump: "Joe turned the camera to the path again and he stopped the footage. The frame was blurry, still moving and slightly tilted. But there between the trees. There it was."

Empires SMP (Season 1, Season 2)

Fish writes made up Empires lore; the Series

Including such beloved titles as Lost to the Waves (Do you remember Home?) (3/3 Chapters), FFA: Fishfuckers Anonymous (8/8 Chapters), The Mad King (3/? Chapters), Witness me , Old Man, I am the Wild (2/? Chapters), Walking through Homes (2/? Chapters) and  It all Starts to Sound like Applause (18/? Chapters)

They don’t get engaged in this; 1/1 Chapters

Scott gives Jimmy his coat to keep him warm, not thinking much of it. Jimmy freaks out because six months is very early for a proposal.

Through the Snow; 3/? Chapters

The world is in a state of eternal winter. Mages, priests and scientists search for a way to bring back spring at any cost. The reincarnations of the old Emperors are no more than a wishful thought. Or are they?

Cactus Flower; 1/1 Chapters

"He's alive?" he whispered. The eye of the Vigil stared down at him and the tiny candle. It wouldn't let it burn. "He's alive," Pixlriffs repeated and felt tears gather in his eyes. There was still a chance they'd find him.

In which Pixlriffs loses his son and the King of Mezalea gains one.

Sinking Teeth; 4/? Chapters

It's one in the morning and he presses down on the gas pedal uncaring of the speed limit.

It's one in the morning and Joel is dying on his passenger seat.

The Art of Shutting the Fuck Up (And other Mezalean Specialties); 2/? Chapters

In my stay I have discovered many things about Mezalea, its people and their culture. And since I started because of the disappointing small section on Mezalea in the Crystal Cliffs Library, I am presenting my discoveries here, in this journal, for others to read and learn more. Out of respect for the Mezaleans I will omit a few details but still, I was able to learn a lot that I don't believe they'll object to me sharing.

Everything you Wish, Everything but Freedom; 1/? Chapters

Corrupted Scott manipulates Jimmy and traps him.

 But our Flowers are Withered, the Leaves Blown to Dust; 16/? Chapters

It was something so inherently Grimmish, to give someone a piece of unprocessed Redstone as a sign of affection, something so fWhip that he couldn't help but smile. What a weird custom. How wonderful. How wonderful that he was the one fWhip had chosen to give it to.

Meteor Shower; 13/13 Chapters - Multi Dimensional Big Bang Fic

It starts with a notification from his calender app, reminding fWhip that he meant to actually see his friends from school again at some point. He decides to try and reach out and before he knows it they're spending two weeks of vacation together. The twelve of them. The old gang. Just like they used to.

And then the meteor crashes.

Nebula; 1/1 Chapters

There's nothing someting everything wrong with Joel. aka The only normal person in the group [post meteor]. aka How do you go back to normal when the stranger in the mirror is wearing your skin? When you're wearing a stranger's skin? How do you know who is who?

(A sequel to my fic Meteor Shower. Read that before you read this, it'll make more sense)

Star-forming Regions; 2/? Chapters

Lizzie and Joel being platonically in love throughout the years. Wait... that's not... What is going on? (Part of the Meteor Shower AU)

Let’s Play A Game (Where We Both Lose); 1/1 Chapters

Do not challenge the gods, that's what all the fables and legends say. So really, Pixlriffs should know better.

Pixlriffs and Joel make a bet.

Can’t Wake From This; 7/? Chapters

Jimmy goes to sleep at home with his boyfriend and wakes up somewhere else. As he tries to navigate his strange circumstances, somewhere else he is presumed dead. It's not like anything can happen to him though, he's fine.

Right?

Break the Mold; 1/1 Chapters

One thing that never got old, no matter how long Joel was in this business, was waking up in a place he couldn't remember getting to. Todays mystery place was quite bright. He could tell even with closed eyes.

The Crown Academy; 1/? Chapters

On the 1st of October 1989, fourty-three women gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Eccentric millionaire Sir Reginald Hargreeves set out to adopt as many of these children as he could.

(He got thirteen)

King of the Endless Meza; 1/1 Chapters

The Return of the King Or; The King of Mezalea is many things, but most importantly, he is supposed to be dead for over a thousand years.

Myself as a Construct; 1/1 Chapters

There's a dead king in Tumble Town. Again. Or; The Sheriff knows trouble when he sees it, but that doesn't mean he understands it. So when the stranger leaves and the God returns he is actually glad. And then it happens again. This time Pixlriffs won't have to murder him afterwards.

Don’t You Hear It Breathing?; 1/? Chapters

Welcome to our little town! I'm sure you'll settle in fine. Just... ignore the calls at night. And don't go into the woods after dark. Not that there is anything unusual about this place, of course. Just be careful.

Heimweh; 1/1 Chapters

Jimmy can't help but feel like everyone's going to leave him one day.

Ah, yes, Me, my Boyfriend, my Boyfriend, a Zombie, my Boyfriend and his 1,50m Stuffed Donkey; 1/1 Chapters

They go on a fair date. That's pretty much it.

Life SMP

They Scratch and Bite and Bark; 1/2 Chapters

In which Joel gets adopted by a pack of dogs against his will.

Or something.

After Life SMP

It’s the Same Old Flames; 1/1 Chapters

Lizzie remembers nothing of her live but something is all too familiar about Joel.

I know that After Life has nothing to do with Empires but I have elected to ignore that ^-^

Dream SMP

they exist. i think there’s three of them

He Slayed The MInotaur; 3/4 Chapters

A monster makes its home near the icy village Octorso Glen. But that's okay. If a monster settles, a hero will come to defeat it. That's how it is in all the stories Phil tells them when they can't sleep at night. They just have to wait.

Techno had never been very patient.

A Universal Language; 1/1 Chapters

Day 9 of Febuwhump: How to make yourself heard without speaking 101.

[shyrose57]

So I realized that for Responsibility AU, we've never talked too much about Katherine?

So my idea is that she's never around very much because she's the one kid who has strong willed guards. The reason for this being that she is destined to become The Protector of the Overgrown, and if anything happens to her... well, who's gonna take care of their people?

Her closest friend is Jimmy, if only because the lil slime boy can slip past the guards easily. I mean, he and his sister Lizzie escape their handlers all the time to spend days at Rivendell, its not surprising he can also easily slip past the high defenses of the Overgrown guards. Jimmy brings her cool things like mob heads that Pixlriffs had in surplus, orchids from the Cod Empire as they are one of the few flowers that don't grow naturally in the Overgrown, ect.

The only times she's allowed to visit the Rivendell siblings or other empire kids is with at least 2 guards trailing a safe distance behind. But when fWhip was badly hurt, she ended up staying nearby and teaching the other kids about plants and their healing properties. She wasn't brought back home until she knew fWhip would be okay, and no amount of guards could have dragged her back there kicking or screaming.

After that fiasco with fWhip, the guards decide to be just a little less strict and try to teach her how to defend herself rather than hiding her away. She's given a little more leeway in "escaping" to spend time with the other kids, and she finds herself to be really good friends with Scott, Gem, and Shrub. She especially loves when little Shrub will bap her hand to get her attention before shoving a mushroom into her hands. In return, Katherine will give Shrub flowers that the 4 year old promptly proceeds to munch on.

Overall, she finds herself melding into the group really well, and Xornoth really enjoys that she is the one kid that Shrub acts calmly around and doesn't threaten to stab or teeth on.

Katherine!!!

Friendship with Jimmy's a good one! Him and Lizzy are very sneaky and good at slipping their guards, but they don't always stick together after. Lizzie spends some of her time terrorizing Joel and Joey after his kingdom starts coming out of isolation, and Jimmy used to just wander before he became closer with the Rivendell siblings-one day he just decided to sneak into the Overgrown, met Katherine, and promptly decided they were going to be best friends.

Everybody knows about Katherine's new little friend, it's impossible not too, with all the little trinkets that show up, and the mischief their heir is suddenly indulging in, but nobody for the life of them can ever catch sight of the other. Meanwhile, Lizzie doesn't ask when her brother starts coming back with flower crowns consisting of some of the Overgrown's more coveted blooms, because plausible deniability is something they agreed on a long time ago.

Of course, eventually Jimmy does get caught sneaking around with her, and the hang outs become more official, so he's allowed to bring her to Rivendell one day, where she gets to meet everyone else. And they all adopt her into the group pretty quick, she gets along with them all pretty well. So when one of her new friend's gets hurt, absolutely nobody is surprised when she plants her feet and refuses to move.

It's enough of an event to make the current rulers and her guards decide maybe it's good for her to get out more-because it's so very rare that she really stands her ground, but she certainly did this time. She shows up at Rivendell a lot for official visits, because it's already been established that she's safe there and her guards let her be for the most part.

But every now and then she and Jimmy drop off the map to just do whatever they want and cause mass panic in the meantime. It's then that her guards are reminded that Katherine has really just been allowing them to stick with her, because the Seablings taught her all their tricks a long time ago.

It's nice to see her so happy though, be that sitting with Shubble while they listen to Gem read, or playing with the axolotls with Jimmy and Lizzie.

[weareallstardustfallen]

empires recap - week of sept 25

the videos released from saturday, september 25 to friday, october 1 were:

-lizzie’s episode 16: she works on her tunnel, and trades with pixl

-fwhip’s episode 23: he finishes the interior of the forge, agrees to attend pearl and sausage’s arena, and takes gem’s sword to upgrade

-scott’s episode 20: he burns the arena invite and takes jimmy on a date to solidify an alliance and thank him for rescuing him

-pixl’s episode 24: he starts work on a turtle sanctuary, is blown up by sausage’s prank, and works on recovering his items

-katherine’s episode 21: she builds a babytown, shows scott and gem around, and decorates her section of lizzie’s tunnel

-sausage’s episode 33: he succumbs fully to the corruption during the arena fight, fights and loses against gem, and travels through the spirit realm to return to mythland uncorrupted

-gem’s episode 14: she attends the arena fights, fights and kills sausage, and meets with him after his return

-jimmy’s episode 16: he discusses his prograss and plans for the wall, meets with scott, and goes with joel to help perform his disstrack

-scott’s episode 21: he builds a more permanent place for his stag, successfully uncorrupts the crystals, and visits katherine’s babytown

-katherine’s episode 22: she attends the arena fights and starts work on a megabase

-joel’s episode 22: he attends the arena fights and builds a super-smelter

detailed recaps under the cut!

lizzie 16:

-lizzie continues construction on the tunnel, starting with a dungeon-themed section and trading with pixlriffs so that she can get pointed dripstone for a dripstone-themed section, which she also tries and fails to catch a bat for -after the dripstone section, she makes a deepslate-themed section, an end-themed section, an end city-themed section, a crimson nether-themed section, a warped nether-themed section, a snow section, and leaves the last section for katherine to decorate -she runs into katherine, and discovers that the tunnel doesn’t work two ways -she sets up an alert system, composed of a constantly-ringing bell near the entrance to the tunnel, on both sides -she notes that the eye of xornoth has disappeared

fwhip 23:

-fwhip discusses his new computer, and mentions that while he hasn’t been able to record as he’s been setting up the new pc he was gathering resources -he goes to collect ice in order to make a basalt generator, also powered by xornoth crystal lava -he goes to expand the sugar cane paddy, and starts a road from the grimlands to shubble’s empire in hopes of setting up an alliance between them -he goes to visit her, and they commiserate about their shared distaste for joey while he leads her to the road; she agrees to finish the road to her empire -he completes the interior of the forge and goes ancient debris mining to get a block of netherite -pearl and sausage arrive to invite him to their newly-built arena; he and sausage shoot each other several times, but he agrees -he uses the completed forge to create a new powerful bow, and heads over to convince gem to let him upgrade her sword -while he’s there, he places deepslate redstone ore around the dragon egg in order to keep it warm, despite her objections -fwhip: “insert happy egg noises here” -he brings her to the forge and shows her around; she notes that he’s gotten weirder -though not without protest, she allows him to take her sword and one of her crystals to upgrade it -he works on his librarian villagers and replenishes his rocket supplies; afterwards, joel and jimmy arrive to perform a diss track -he takes down all of the xornoth crystals and stores the lava; afterwards, he works on plotting the next section of the megabase

scott 20:

-scott plans to pay jimmy back for saving him from sausage and joey’s kidnapping, and decides the best way to do so is take him on a date, which he plans to make a “love cave ride thing” for, and solidify an alliance with him -he sees the arena invite from pearl and sausage, and burns it -with it thus taken care of, he returns to his planning for his and jimmy’s date, and starts excavating a cave -he terraforms and decorates the cave, with foliage, a blanket in their colors, their banners, cod named things that are significant to him and jimmy, the pufferish of peace, and then builds the actual rail -he builds a heart-shaped tunnel which he hides in case the first portion doesn’t go well, and a balcony -he puts on a flower crown and goes to find jimmy to ask if he wants to go on the date; jimmy says yes, and he gives jimmy a poppy upon arriving in rivendell -he shows jimmy the cave, including the cake, which prompts jimmy to run around to lose hunger; when he asks scott to do the same he briefly drowns to lose hunger -“i’m drowning for you!” -jimmy asks him to keep it secret, to which scott agrees; jimmy asks if they’re becoming allies, and scott says if he wants to -he shows jimmy the heart-shaped tunnel and the balcony; scott says he built it just for jimmy, and jimmy again asks him to keep it between them -jimmy asks to take the poppies, and destroys the flowerpots not realizing he can right click to get them -jimmy leaves, and scott says it went well

pixl 24:

-pixl shows that the tentacles have recovered and multiplied, and hypothesizes that he’ll have to join forces with the other empires to actually defeat them -he reads the letter from joel, and agrees to give him what copper he has -he meets with lizzie, and trades her some pointed dripstone for two turtle eggs so he can populate the river with them; she suggests bringing axolotls to take care of the salmon in the river -he starts work on a turtle sanctuary, with a small cave so the eggs can hatch without being harmed, and decorates the area around it -he describes his plans for a residential area inside something akin to an anthill to the north, and shows a block palette for it -he sees the arena invite from sausage and pearl, and plans on attending -he shows the newly-hatched turtle, and helps it grow up with seagrass -he meets with joel to give him copper, and doesn’t currently have as much as he needs; he provides him all of the copper in his ender chest and aging farm -joel mentions the mythland embassy, which pixl was unaware of; after they finish collecting the copper they go to see it, and find out it has a perpetual bell-ringing device. pixl says it’s probably a trap, but enters anyway; when he opens the door, several tnt minecarts fall from the door, which he hits with his sword, detonating them and blowing up almost all of his items -pixl says it was a prank he can respect, but says he’s still going to ruin sausage’s life for it -he adds candles to the vigil for himself and katherine, whose death showed up in chat, and notes that he has no idea if the count is still accurate -afterwards, he works on getting his items back, and goes to fwhip for help in getting his armor and sword recovered before the arena fight, hoping to use his forge, and pays him in calcite for the netherite

katherine 21:

-katherine shows the eyeball, corruption, and crystals, saying that her land is overrun, though she finds the crystals pretty; she gets rid of the corrupted trees -katherine plans to create a baby town for people to stay in if they need; she steals some of the other empires’ blocks in order to build them -she starts with a tower of her own kingdom, and builds miniature versions of all of the empires before she works on paths, terraforming, and general detailing -she leaves something specific to each empire in the corresponding building along with a chest and bed, including corruption in joey’s -she puts her list of official allies in her own tower, which includes all but three people -she builds a baby town sign and shows off all of the building -scott and gem visit, and she shows them around; they comment on how many allies she has, and point out that she’s allies with the people who kidnapped them; they remove sausage’s sign -they are unenthusiastic about joey and sausage’s mini builds -scott mentions he un-corrupted the gems, and points out that they’re above key locations in everyone’s empires, which katherine had not noticed -she shows off lizzie’s secret tunnel, and builds a section of the tunnel themed after lizzie’s empire; she sends a bunch of purpur to test it -she notes that the eye is gone

sausage 33:

-sausage begins by reading his will, explaining that he’s sorry he wasn’t strong enough to resist the corruption and dictating how his belongings should be split up -it transitions into possessed sausage, who is deriding the sappiness -sausage says that it all ends tonight, and everyone will be coming to the arena; he’ll go full corrupted and sacrifice every other emperor -he explains that everything is in order and things will be fine without him, regardless of whether or not he comes back; he says that at least a zombie villager still has hope of being cured, but he doesn’t, as only a more powerful being could even stop him and there’s none other than xornoth -he mentions the mythland embassy in pixandria, and talks about pixandrian spies who tried to warn pixl, but it was too late; he cuts back to when he was building it and the trap he laid, and footage of pixl’s death via his ravens -he says that after the arena fights, “you’ll never see your king again” -they welcome the others to the arena, and accost fwhip for trying to sell things on their land without a permit -they proceed into the arena fights, beginning with joel and pearl vs fwhip and pixl; the gunpowder boys win via fwhip burning to death a few seconds after joel -pearl and pixl fight with just axes and shields; pearl wins -joel and pearl fight with axes and shields; it ends in a double kill -they introduce xornoth, and pearl immediately challenges him as the others start to panic; it spawns pillagers, ravagers, zoglins, and vexes, among other mobs, which the emperors defeat; he introduces his champion, who turns out to be sausage, and he starts hunting down the others, able to kill them in one or a few hits -xornoth directs him to kill them all, and he does so -afterwards, sausage notes that gem got away, and goes to the crystal cliffs to find gem and potentially pick up the dragon egg -he comments on the artifact in his inventory, not recognizing it -gem comes to confront him, and tells him to stay away from the egg; when he threatens to take it and burn it, she says she will protect it with her life, and they start to fight -they engage in a chase and fight both through the air and on the ground, traveling between gem’s towers; she retains the upper hand for most of the time -they end up in her largest tower, which is the place she’s most powerful; suddenly, he switches to his possessed voice, and says he’s sorry. he gives her the staff and begs her to kill him, which she does -he wakes up unpossessed in the spirit realm, which is a room with a table and several gateways with void behind them, one of which is a lit nether portal -there are five unlit portals on the sides, one lit one, and a central unlit portal; there’s also several broken portals -he finds a book on the table, which details that he must travel back to past lives in alternate realities via the portal, and bring back what he loves most to activate the central portal and either be returned to life if the gods deem him worthy or sent to the next plane of existence if they don’t -he goes through the portals, and ends up in his hardcore world, where he correctly guesses that the thing he cares about most is bubbles, since sir carlos said she would guide him back; he retrieves that world’s bubbles, and notes that she’s not the same bubbles as he summoned to empires -he returns to the spirit realm through a portal decorated with cyan candles and warped nether blocks; he repeats the process with his oneblock skyblock world, sourceblock smp, his hardcore season 1 world, legacy smp season 1, and his singleplayer world in the season 3 area -the final world is in mythland colors, and provides him armor and elytra when the other ones did not; he comments on it, but since the final portal is open he ignores that and the broken portals and says goodbye to the council of bubbles before he goes through -he ends up on the bridge in mythland, where gem finds him; she says that she’s missed him, and he says that he’s missing memories; when she shows him the staff she took from him, he says he wants nothing to do with magic, and drinks the potion she gives him -he asks if they can be in an alliance again, and she says they’ll have to talk to fwhip; they agree he should go sleep for now, and she tells him not to use the leftover sleeping potions. on his way to bed he asks her to deal with the demon cats and says he might be xornoth’s target now, and that he’ll say how to defeat xornoth when he wakes up

gem 14:

-gem tries to think of what she can do to make the egg hatch, but is interrupted by fwhip putting deepslate redstone around the edge; he says it’s to keep it warm -he shows her the grimlands forge and asks to upgrade her sword; reluctantly, she agrees, and provides a crystal to use for it -she finds a build request from jimmy to build custom swamp trees, and says it’d be fun; however, she’s interrupted by seeing some pillagers, who she puts in boats and names loon, viktor, and aries, making them her first citizens -she goes to the codlands and builds four custom trees -she works on pacifying the pillagers, and successfully has each one break their crossbow; she says she’ll make buildings for them soon -she finds the arena invite, and says she’ll go to make sure everyone stays safe, since she warned pearl about sausage -she spectates the arena fights, and shoots katherine after joel dares her to; when xornoth arrives, she helps fight the mobs, but drinks an invisibility potion and flees when sausage begins hunting the other emperors -she ends up back in her tower, and sees sausage approaching the dragon egg; she confronts him, and tells him to leave the egg alone -they start to fight, and she chases him, declaring that he’s in her mountains, and they fight in her towers, ending in the largest of them; she tells him that she’s most powerful there, and he gives her his staff and begs her (in his normal voice) to kill him, which she does, getting the “serious dedication” achievement from his scythe -she goes to mythland to look for him, and finds him on the bridge, unpossessed; she tells him she’s missed him, and he asks if he killed people at the arena, since he doesn’t remember -he reacts violently to the sight of his staff, and returns her crystals, saying he doesn’t want anything to do with magic; she agrees, and gives him a potion to drink -she encourages him to go to bed, and he does -she returns to the crystal cliffs, and checks on the hat, which says that she can take it now; she does, and works on fortifying the crystal cliffs by taking down the original gatehouse and replacing it with a larger redesign, and puts her grumpy panda in the gatehouse in a boat -she catches some more pillagers, and adds one to the tower of the gatehouse -she says she’ll study ways to stop xornoth, and ends the video with some behind-the-scenes and bloopers clips

jimmy 16:

-jimmy shows the two new pieces for the fanart shack and his cat, norman -he shows off the custom trees which gem built, and the back wall of his megabase which he built -he shows the area where the next wall will be, and explains that he had to remove a mountain which was in his way, so fwhip helped blow it up in return for an iou, which fwhip used to make him carry a salmon; jimmy hid it under one of the tentacles, refusing to carry it around, although he can’t destroy it -he says that he’s going to put the wall in and fwhip will terraform the crater by next episode -he says that he accidentally deleted his footage from his and scott’s meeting, but scott sent his footage, which he’s using -scott leads him into a cave decorated with foliage and various significant things to the both of them, including a cake; jimmy runs around to try and lose hunger so he can eat it; scott drowns to do the same -jimmy asks if they’re becoming allies; scott says if he wants, to which jimmy agrees -scott leads him down the “tunnel of love equivalent” and to the balcony; jimmy attempts to take the poppies but doesn’t realize he can take them without breaking the flowerpots -he says he has something from katherine that he needs to see, but before that joel arrives to deliver his diss track to fwhip; it actually ends on a compliment -joel and fwhip decide to fight scott together, and jimmy says he can’t because he and scott solidified an alliance -jimmy specifies that he didn’t know they were going to go after scott, and finds katherine’s message, so he goes to go see the baby town she’s built; he finds it overwhelmingly cute, and wonders why xornoth doesn’t have a build

scott 21:

-scott plans to make a space for jimmy to build an embassy, relocate his stag, and research the crystals, since they’re copied off of the one in his enchanting tower and there might be a way to reverse their corruption -he starts with the stag, and decides to build him a cave, but before he can he notices the eye of xornoth in the background; he tells it to go away, and decides to keep his voice down when he talks about defeating the corruption -he goes back to dig out the cave, and decorates it with plant life and gold to mimic the cave he was found in and protect him, and moves the stag in -he goes to study the crystals in the library, hoping to find some way to fix them; he discovers that he could be able to turn them back using something to channel his magic and things from the other empires, so he collects things from each of the embassies, some gold, and alinar’s antlers to channel with -he says he hopes he was some kind of witch in a past life, and combines the items in a cauldron; they turn into a set of splash potions which he uses on the crystals. there’s no immediate change but when he goes to sleep and wakes up they’ve changed to cyan, yellow, and white, with gold inside, and the eye is gone -he puts away the antlers and says that his citizens will be glad he’s finally doing something -afterwards, he and gem go to katherine’s baby town, where she shows them around, including her list of allies; he points out that it’s most of the server, and gem accuses her of having no loyalty -katherine says she likes xornoth’s crystals, and he explains what he did to them, and points out that they’re above key locations; katherine hadn’t noticed

katherine 22:

-katherine says she’s really never done a megabase, so she wants to do one; she doesn’t have much space in the flower fields, so it’s going to be in the air -she finds the arena invite and says she’s interested, so she plans to spectate -since she has some new heads, she drops off the duplicates and adds a new floor to her head collection -she attends the arena fight to spectate; gem shoots her on a dare from joel -xornoth arrives, and she asks to receive any heads people get from the mobs it spawns; when xornoth directs sausage to kill them all, she tries to run, and is killed multiple times; however, she manages to obtain more mob heads -she decides that the crystals are pretty but it seems like a good idea to remove the lava, and does so; afterwards, she works on planning for her megabase, and collects wool from her sheep and from scott before she builds a large grass platform and the wool framework for the building

joel 22:

-he plans on working on both the interior and the outside of the megabase; for the interior, he intends to light it up and also work on building a super-smelter -he notices a weird shadow, which is probably a texture glitch -he works on lighting up the palace, though he has some problems with creepers exploding and damaging the palace; he leaves the holes for the meantime though he says he will leave it -the palace isn’t entirely spawnproofed, but he decides to move on anyway -he finds the arena invite, and decides to go -“you know me, i love hurting people” -he removes xornoth’s banner, saying he doesn’t know what it is, and puts it in a corner; he also teams up with pearl to fight fwhip and pixl, and loses by burning to death a few seconds before fwhip does -he dares gem to shoot katherine, which she does, killing her -he fights pearl using an axe and shield, ending in a double kill -xornoth arrives, but joel actually can’t hear him, and asks gem and fwhip why pearl is talking to herself; when sausage starts attacking people, he drinks an invisibility potion he was given by fwhip and leaves -he goes back to working on the interior, and gets to work on the super-smelter; he pauses to kill some horses to fill up his horse head room, and gathers some wood for chests before he works on the super-smelter, which takes multiple tries as he continually notices pieces of redstone that he’s missing. however, he eventually manages to get it working -he builds a room around the super-smelter and works on filling in the missing copper, then builds the two missing walls and places some of the moss in the center

[ween-kitchens]

okay burnout has hit me like a truck in the past couple weeks and right now i’m forcing myself to rest so I can actually. overcome it gajdhsj and this has involved reading a lot of my old wips that I have abandoned

because of this, I have refound an empires s2 flower husbands au I have that I am so obsessed with, so I shall share it with you (you’re so welcome)

below the cut is a whole lot of rambles and a few drabbles of the au that I sent to my good friend stiff at like midnight whilst I was meant to be doing homework last may

(very long post under cut. be warned)

so in s2 when fwhip got the crown (originated in s1 where fwhip’s s1 character—very different from his s2 character—created the Crown (tm), and whoever wore it would have the power to give all the emperors one rule they had to follow. lots of fights broke out, joel had an amazing moment where scott was giving fwhip the crown and he yoinked it just before fwhip could get it, you get the picture) his rule was that everyone had to ‘take care’ of a goblin child. the catch was that you had to hold it in your offhand at all times, and that it was a retextured egg, so if you accidentally threw (yeeted) it, the child would ‘die’ and part of the rule was to NOT YEET THE CHILD. if you ‘killed’ the child, you could either pay 10 raw gold blocks, or care for another child

anyway, scott was the first one to get a child (against his will) and reiterated that he was ‘NOT READY TO BE A FATHER’ and I watched that and thought. I could flower husbands this so I did

scott arriving at jimmys house at the ass crack of dawn (because I imagine scott to be an early riser and jimmy to not) pounding on his door until a very tired jimmy opens it and asks wtf he’s doing it’s like 6am, whereupon scott thrusts a baby in his face like ‘HELP ME I AM NOT READY FOR THIS’. this wakes jimmy up, understandably

I imagine they’d have a conversation like ‘why do you- WHY DO YOU HAVE A CHILD??’ ‘FWHIPS RULE, JIMMY YOU GOTTA HELP ME’ ‘ME?? WHY DO YOU THINK I COULD HELP??’ ‘I DON’T KNOW YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’D BE GOOD WITH KIDS’ ‘WHY’

after about five minutes of shouting, the baby (who had been asleep this whole time) wakes up and starts to cry. scott is not ready for this and sort of holds the baby at arm’s length, panicked. jimmy sort of sighs and goes ‘give them to me’. turns out, jimmy is surprisingly good with kids, unbeknownst to him (tiny tom was gifted to jevin before he could even process it) and to the great relief of scott, who had been panicking the whole night

so. jimmy and scott are now co-parenting a child. surely no romantic tension can come from this!

well, at the start, they’re barely allies—scott only allied with jimmy so he’d get free gunpowder, and never spared a second thought when it came to teasing him, so for the first couple days, it’s quite awkward between them. mainly on scotts part—jimmy didn’t want the baby to be moved too much, and insisted that scott be just as involved as raising the child as he was, so scott just kinda. stayed at jimmy’s

they’d occasionally nip out to get more food or to explain their absence in meetings, to enormous teasing and some genuinely helpful tips from joel and sausage, who had a pretty similar experience when raising hermes (thrust into parenthood by accident and somewhat panicked when babies did what babies do best, cry through the night, poop and make lots of mess), but most of the time they’d be in the house, or taking a short walk around tumble town with the baby. what I mean to say is, they spend an awful lot of time together

so one evening they’re sat on the porch watching the sunset, the baby asleep in jimmy’s arms, and they start to talk. like actually talk; they’d been kind of skirting around each other and making semi-awkward small talk for the past couple of weeks until now, and it feels good to actually feel like they’re close. almost friends

and it sort of blooms from there

they start to actually talk every day now, even just making passing remarks and jokes that feel friendly rather than hostile, offering to take the baby when they can tell the other is tired, and sharing quiet smiles when the baby finally gets to sleep

jimmy starts teasing scott about how terrified he looked when he arrived at the door, and about how terrified he looks still every time he changes the baby’s nappy. scott makes jokes about jimmy being the opposite of an early bird, and ‘fixes’ his bed-head by ruffling it even more

it gets to a point where they’re just sharing casual touches—bumping hips and squeezing shoulders as they pass each other; resting their head on each other’s shoulders as they complain about how they tired they are; jokingly calling each other ‘beloved husband’ and pretending to kiss each other’s hand—and they realise that huh. maybe they’re not so bad after all

they settle on a name for the baby: lexie. it took a lot of back and forth (jimmy wanted to name her alex, scott wanted to name her robbie, they settled on lexie as a compromise. scott jokes sometimes that they should have gotten another child and called them steve, if they were to go with jimmy’s name)

it takes them a few weeks to notice that.. lexie has changed since they took her in. she’s more real, more solid, more warm than she used to be. her crying sounds more human, and her appetite is increasing, and they realise that-

fwhip didn’t give them real children at all. he knew of course that it would be a complete disaster if he did, and he was right—so many of the dolls (because that’s all they originally were, dolls) were broken and damaged, over and over again. but lexie wasn’t. she was never hurt, she was never damaged, nothing beyond a simple scratch from a confused norman or a bruise where she’d banged her arm on the corner of the table. and so lexie.. stopped being a doll.

fwhip came over to check one day, curious if the goblin baby was still unbroken and safe (the crown had long since been passed on, there was no need for them to keep the baby) and was enormously surprised to find out that, not only was she safe, but she was alive—alive in a way that he never thought could be possible—and a stranger sight still: a family

because that’s what they were, no matter how it’d come to pass. a confusing, chaotic, happy, healthy family

and slowly, ever so slowly, something between scott and jimmy started to change.

they revelled in lexie learning to crawl, to babble, the first time she tried solid food, the first time she bit their fingers and they felt teeth, and they did it together. they groaned at 4am feedings, and gagged at nappy changes, and went to bed exhausted, and they did it together. they cooked and cleaned and brushed their teeth over the sink and they did it together. everything they did, it was together

and they were just waiting for it to be monotonous. they anticipated the moment when it became annoying, or tiresome, or flat out unbearable with dread. but that moment never came

sure, they’d get sick of each other every once in a while. jimmy would snap at scott’s teasing in the early morning, and scott would refuse to change lexie’s nappies until he’d had a nap. but barely minutes later the outbursts would be followed by a bashful hug from behind, a mumble of ‘i’m sorry, I wasn’t fair’, a promise of ‘i’ll try to do better’

they started to find that they simply didn’t have it in them to hate it. they just couldn’t bring themselves to dislike the other; not with jimmy and his early morning drowsiness, his bright laughs, his gentle strength; not with scott and his late night weariness, his soft smiles, his teasing jokes

and soon they started to realise that they were headed towards something very different to hate

scott understood first

he’d been having these feelings for a while now, and his suspicion had started to increase every time he couldn’t help laughing when jimmy was a particularly big goof, or how his heart would soar when he’d wake up entangled in jimmy’s embrace.

it wasn’t until one night, long after lexie had fallen asleep, when both of them sat on the sofa, reading.

but today, he hadn’t been able to see jimmy as much; there was a mandatory meeting for all the rulers, with the exception of jimmy and scott, as they were taking care of lexie: only one of them had to go. scott, who only had to take one look at poor, sleepy jimmy to know that if he was to go, zero information would be retained, offered to go instead.

the meeting was much longer than he’d anticipated, and certainly not on a topic he’d deem mandatory to attend—something about pix remaining a ghost after he withered away at the princess party.

either way, when scott came back, jimmy had spent almost the entire day looking after lexie, and stopped only to give scott a one-armed hug and inform him that lexie was in her crib before he went for a nap. scott was seriously deprived of jimmy time.

which is why he’s staying up late now—just to get in as much time as he can before he inevitably falls asleep. which seems to be happening much faster than he’d anticipated.

next to him, scott hears the familiar quiet chuckling of jimmy, and the sound of a page being marked.

“scott, tell me you didn’t stay up just so you could see me.” jimmy says softly.

“never.” scott blinks, trying to escape the heaviness of his eyelids. in fact, his whole body feels heavy with sleep, as if weighed down by some invisible force.

“you sausage.” jimmy says, and scott notes the fondness in jimmy’s voice. “i’m gonna take you to bed, is that alright?”

“I think I can manage that.” jimmy says.

scott feels arms underneath his knees and around his waist, before he’s hoisted into the air. he presses close to jimmy’s chest, wrapping his arms around jimmy’s neck and burying his face in his shirt.

“I missed you today.” scott tells him. “I kept looking over to make a face at you in the meeting, but you weren’t there.”

jimmy smiles, and scott thinks he could watch him do just that all day. “you sap.”

“you’re carrying me to bed, jimmy.” scott points out.

“I never said I wasn’t a sap.” jimmy tells him, pushing their bedroom door open with his hip. “lucky you’re in your pyjamas already, because I would’ve made you get up to change.”

“I take it you are changing?” scott says, smiling again as jimmy lays him carefully down on the bed and pulls the covers around him. “thank you.”

jimmy presses his lips against scott’s forehead, and his eyes flutter shut. “‘course. beloved husband.”

something in scott’s chest glows as he slips into the land of sleep, and as jimmy’s arms wrap around him from behind a minute later, he can’t help admitting to himself something he thinks he might have known for a long time.

because wow. he really does love jimmy, huh?

so one day, scott is up early (as usual) and feeding lexie at the table when jimmy comes up behind him and hugs him from behind, wearing his pyjamas - which are just joggers and a white tshirt - and scott is able to see something that he hadnt actually noticed before: along the outsides of jimmy's arms are small little scars, looking curiously close to stitches

scott asks how he got them when jimmy is awake enough, and jimmy just goes 'oh yeah, joel did it'. scott just kinda. stares at him for a moment until jimmy realises thats a very confusnig answer, and explains a little more

joel, however he may claim, is very new to his powers, and for a while didnt actually understand how they worked. he and sausage never actually meant to create a real child (hermes didnt have a name for a long time), they were just mucking around one night and somehow hermes became alive. something similar happened with jimmy

joel just thought it was a funny joke to call jimmy a toy, and being unaware of his powers, never really considered that it coukd have a genuine affect on jimmy. but sure enough, jimmy started to notice significant changes, and after a while, he had become a toy. jimmy just thought joel had done it on purpose, and for a while he was just furious with him for doing this to him

but when they formed their alliance after the fighting was over, joel saw the stitching along his arms and the yarn of his hair and was entirely panicked when jimmy asked him to reverse it, because he had no idea he could do that and was horrified to find out that he'd done this to jimmy

jimmy was somewhat relieved to know that joel didnt actually do it on purpose, and slightly terrified to find out that joel had. no clue how to reverse it

it took a little while of trial and error, but finally joel figured out how to turn him back into a human. the only issues? it hurt. jimmy supposed he should have expected it - the initial transformation had happened over months - but at that moment all he could think about was how awful the pain was.

afterwards, joel healed his wounds, and explained with a shellshocked expression that the stitches had ripped out of his arms (thats where the scars came from, jimmy tells scott.) it stopped hurting very shortly after, what with joel's healing, but sometimes jimmy feels almost phantom pains in his arms from that horrible moment

scott likes to trace up and down the scars on his arms, sometimes to calm jimmy, sometimes just because he likes the look on jimmy's face when he does it

[blicketdabest33]

FINAL CABIN PLACEMENTS I DON'T WANT TO EDIT IT AFTER THIS

So many of y'all had so many good ideas (and since a lot of these i came up with without any real reasoning) here's my updated version that i think fits A LOT better

#1 Zeus Cabin: Jimmy, Joel Jimmy: He's a Zeus kid, but everyone somehow forgets about it. Joel: He's competitive and strong. Also, because Jimmy is his half brother through godly parent, i get to make a fun bit about him dating Lizzie. And one of his origins in Afterlife SMP was a thunderborn

#2 Hera Cabin: Scott, Impulse, Ren Scott: Scott's whole thing is loyalty. Hera is the goddess of marriage and is insanely loyal to Zeus. However, I feel like Hera should get at least one affair. So now Scott can use peacocks as weapons. Impulse: According to @dawnfire7 Impulse is known for loyalty, which i did not know. He's also known to hold grudges. Perfect Hera kid. Ren: He's apparently known for loyalty (and i didn't really like his Nike placement anyway)

#3 Poseidon Cabin: XB XB: Something about water temple guardians

#4 Demeter Cabin: Sausage, Shelby, Bdubs, Stress Sausage: This man built Sanctuary in a jungle and has flowers in his hair. He sells wood. There is no other place to put him. Shelby: Mushroom gnome, spooky mangrove witch, powerful storm witch, i need not continue. Bdubs: Moss man. Stress: SHE HAS FLOWERS

#5 Ares Cabin: Martyn, False Martyn: His planet is Mars, which is the roman version of Ares. He ended Limited Life in such a violent way, i can't help it. He was also red for the majority of Secret Life. False: I just feel like False should get to kill people more often.

#6 Athena Cabin: Grian, Pix, Owen, Xisuma Grian: This sums it up pretty well

Pix: Smart man. Archeologist and definitely a nerd. I wanna see him skipping out on training just so he can read history books. Owen: He likes to explore and discover new things in Pirates. In Rats, he's a tinkerer. In New Life, he's an explorer who wants to study hybrids. In Empires, he's a Llama who's curious about how humans work. Just a very curious character overall. Xisuma: Admin. I'm not elaborating.

#7 Apollo Cabin: Oli, Lyarrah Oli: MUSIC. MAN. Lyarrah: She writes the captions for the hermitcraft recap.

#8 Artemis Cabin: Pearl, Gem Pearl: Y'know, Artemis could've just like... had a kid, even though she took that oath. It wouldn't even have to be with a guy. Gods can change to whatever gender they want. Anyway, Pearl gets to be an Artemis kid because her symbolism is moon, she loves dogs, and will commit murder and hunt at night. Gem: Someone really wanted these girls to be sisters, and I think Gem and pearl should get to hunt at night and be fierce together. Oh, and she's got the whole deer aesthetic.

#9 Hephaestus Cabin: Doc, Mumbo, Tango, Zedaph, Fwhip, Iskall Doc: Redstone Mumbo: Redstone Tango: Redstone Zedaph: Redstone Fwhip: Redstone AND has a red scarf (don't ask me how that's relevant) Iskall: Redstone

#10 Aphrodite Cabin: Keralis, Skizz, Bigb Keralis: Okay, I don't know why, but Keralis gives me the vibes of a very charming person. His voice is nice to listen to, so imagine how useful it'd be if I gave him charm speak. Skizz: Person in the tags said he was really charming and you can't help but love him. I agree. He's here now. Bigb: Smooth talker. Someone (i think it was Scott) said in one of their videos "It's hard to kill him while he's talking". Charmspeak. Ma man, go do chaos.

#11 Hermes Cabin: Scar, Etho, Joe Scar: Trader Scar, scammer extraordinar. Etho: All i must say is Shady-E's. I get "jack-of-all-trades, master of none, often better than master of one" vibes from him. He's funny, he's mischievous, it just works. Joe: Comedy man. Excellent delivery. And, yet again, i look at this man and go "That right there is a multi-talented man with a habit for mischief."

#12 Dionysus Cabin: Joey, Beef, Cub Joey: *points at his season one empires theme* i need not say more Beef: Idk, food. I don't really have a reason. I don't know too much about Beef. Cub: Someone said Cub was really laid back, i liked this idea, he's here now. C'mon, go make ur empire.

#13 Hades Cabin: Zloy Zloy: Zombie man. He writes the Hermitcraft recaps in the dark at 2am with nothing but pure spite.

#14 Iris Cabin: Katherine Katherine: SHE. HAS. COLORS. and also I couldn't put her in Demeter cabin because Shelby is already there and i am NOT excluding Nature Wives from this au

#15 Hypnos Cabin: Wels Wels: @dingdinghq said something about sleeping during S6 and i completely agree

#16 Nemesis Cabin:

#17 Nike Cabin:

#18 Hebe Cabin: 

#19 Tyche Cabin: TFC TFC: Man goes mining and gets really lucky. That's it.

#20 Hecate Cabin: Lizzie, Cleo, Jevin Lizzie: Witchy vibes. Also, Arson. Cleo: Arson. She uses her magic for Arson. Jevin: He's a magic slime. Also, Arson. All Hecate kids love Arson.

[akiraink-no]

Empires Two Electric Boogaloo

Guess who’s back!!! 

             Hey, so it’s been a bit and oh my god, has things changed on Empire! SoI thought I’d update my other post on a few of the kingdoms and talk about some new ideas I have on the kings and queens of this lovely server. 

First off, Scott Smajor:

             Not only has this man broken every heart of every and all Flower Husband enjoyer, but he has also confirmed that he stalks tumblr. Which... after looking at the mess that is twitter at times... fair. Anyways I stumbled across a blog that brought up the idea of Scott and Xornoth being  siblings/brothers/twins… etc.(Thanks to silencer lemonade btw, highly suggest you check them out!) Which… I fell in love with,  not just because it’d make a lot of sense, noting the noticeable accent between the two, but also their flair for dramatics. (Gestures wildly at everything Scott has done and then points at Xornoth and his dramatic ass.) 

             So I propose a revise to my original post.  I still think Scott is a fae creature, obviously that’s not going to change. He’s just deeply attuned with the mountain and snow. He still is that cold, calculating, and even ruthless leader. He stills sees people as assets and has trouble connecting with people. But this isn’t just because he’s from a fae court. 

              I suggest that Xornoth(I’m going to give him a nickname, so… how about X?) X was his brother who, due to some type of corruption/accident/tragedy, led to his disappearance. Maybe Scott forgot about him but still remembers he had a connection that was abruptly severed by something or someone. Which would make losing his brother all that more painful, because he knows that he’s missing something, but for the life of him, he doesn’t remember. 

             Or for more angst, because I know y’all are like sharks drawn to bloody water with that stuff. Maybe he does remember X, but doesn’t want to open his heart up because he doesn’t want to lose another person again. It would explain his sort of cruel personality to people like Jimmy or how he doesn't even want to interact with others on the server. He just doesn’t want to be hurt again.

            Moving on to another pair of siblings: Gem and fWhip. Yes, I believe these two are siblings, I will die on this hill. They have just such good character interactions and give off those sibling energy vibes. Specifically, Gem is the older, tired, but caring sister to her younger, chaotic, and energetic brother. 

            Gem very much has that vibe of just wanting to sit in her kingdom, cuddle with her familiar and drink some well deserved tea. Of course, fwhip doesn’t make this any easier for her. What with getting into wars to running to his sister when the big scary demon comes for him. 

            I do think that Gem is very much a passive acting character right now. Keyword being right now. Should anything happen to her little brother(Like life-threatening, dangerous, or something he can’t handle), the gloves are off. The great wizard Gem will summon lightning and storm clouds and strike your ass down. Hellfire will rain from the skies and target her foes. 

            I like to think of her as a sort of Foolish-like character(DSMP). Foolish is a powerful and even terrifying character, but he chooses to be peaceful and build rather than wage war and spill blood. Maybe Gem has that same capability, but she just rather play babysitter for her little brother(I don’t care if fwhip is older or not, Gem has that older sister energy) and his playdates with Mythland. Even if she doesn’t approve of Sausage’s behavior. 

            As for fwhip himself, he is pretty much unaware of how much his sister is looking out for him. He’s fine with working with his fireworks, tnt, and potions. He’s an alchemist, a tinkerer. He likes to build and craft, put things together, and enjoy his bit of chaos in explosions.

            I will admit, I love his skin for Empires. Gives off those steampunky vibes that I suggested in the original post. I think it would also be cool if he added some custom textures to some of his items. Things like potions would be neat. Instead of the normal bottles, he retextures them to look like flasks or jars for display purposes. Not a request, just suggestion. I think it would be also neat if he constructed iron golems on his land, but instead of the normal iron texture they have by default. They have something with more cogs, copper, and bronze.  

           Those would be really cool to see, maybe he has a library that he’s constructed to document the strange happenings on the server. Which we already know he’s been doing with Gem and Kathrine. I will admit, I don’t have much on him, unfortunately, I haven’t been keeping up with his videos if I’m honest. So if you could leave some suggestions in the comments, that’d be great!

          Wow, this is already a pretty long post, so I think this is where I’ll cut it off for now. I won’t make an au or anything on this... for now, but if I do end up with something like that, what would you guys like to see? Let me know and see y’all later! 

-Ink

[fancystudentpeanutpie]

I am obsessed with the idea of the empires people carving jewelry out of things. Like I’ve always loved that idea since I saw a 3rd life fic where Scott made rings for him and Jimmy but I’ve only now found something where large amounts of it can be applied in a way that makes sense. 

It started with Gem making jewelry out of amethyst. She has amethyst rings, bracelets, horn jewelry, earrings, and is currently working on a few chains to put on her clothes. 

They’re all simply carved amethyst, but she can’t just put on a skin/horn tight bracelet or horn ring without breaking something, so they have little iron hinges glued into them with honey. 

The chain’s will probably be connected to the green parts of her clothes only, cause it’d look better than on the purple ones. 

Fwhip already knew how to make jewelry from Gem so he also ended up making his own. He mostly used red and brown leather, but there was a bit of iron and deepslate carving too. He simply made a few necklaces and a bracelet. 

He has a leather necklace with a deepslate sphere, and a brown and red leather braid bracelet and loose choker. The choker has an iron clasp at the back. He also made Gem a necklace. It’s a simple leather chain with an amethyst shard as a charm. 

I am one of those people who hc that Fwhip and Gem are slblings, so he’s 100% a deer hybrid to me. Therefore, he also made horn jewelry. Though, his is merely a piece of leather with a bit of deepslate and a few iron clasps at the back. 

He considered making things out of redstone(normal, not corruption) but decided not to because it’s pretty hard to work with considering it’s more like easy-to-pack sand than actual stone. 

This is when it truly started becoming a thing. 

Totally not taking the idea from Gem, Pix started trying to make emerald and copper jewelry. He didn’t know what he was doing, so eventually he just asked Gem. So, she showed him how to carve. He has rings, ear cuffs, and a chain necklace. 

Chains are a challenge, so Gem had to help him a lot with the necklace. The rings are just a random selection of emerald and waxed copper of all stages. The ear cuffs are literally just thin pieces of copper. 

Katherine heard of this and prepared to make a trade with Gem for jewelry of her own. However, Gem was already enjoying herself with all the jewelry making so much she only had to give her a few flowers. She made purpur earrings, bracelets, and rings. 

Everything has little flowers engraved into it. Somehow, Gem was even able to insert dye into the engravings to colour them and make them more obvious. The bracelets have little iron and honey hinges, just like hers. 

Shubble has never really carved metal or stone before, but she could probably figure it out, and she loves carving wood. She doesn’t necessarily WEAR jewelry, but she has, like, a large chest full of oak, birch, jungle, warped, and crimson wood jewelry. Absolutely anything she could think of. 

Then Joel and Lizzie commissioned Gem to make them wedding rings. They’re made of iron with specks of red sand on one side and a blue wave on the other. Joel’s has a dark blue gem with two, smaller, light pink gems on either side. Lizzie’s is the same with one bright purple and two bright green gems. Usually everyone only uses stuff in empires, but Gem thought the jewels worked really well. 

Hearing about it at the wedding, Scott decided that he wanted to do it too. He’s deciding to wait until he makes the gold farm, but when he does he will have a LOT of gold jewelry. Like, a LOT. He loves carving jewelry. 

He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t want to make any rings, even though they’re one of the easiest pieces of jewelry to make. It just feels...wrong. For some reason. Having a bunch of rings that have nothing to do with anyone else. It confuses him, why is he thinking like this? Is it the gold ring he’s wearing right now, that he doesn’t remember making but just kinda appeared? That seems to match the one on Jimmy’s hand? 

Sausage also wanted to learn how to make jewelry, but he went to Fwhip instead of Gem, since she was so busy. He ended up using leather, iron, honey, and wool from blood sheep to make a couple bracelets. It’s not much, but there is only so much you can do with wool without knitting it. It was mostly Fwhip who made them, but he will always take full credit. 

That’s all I have. Feel free to add.