#i’m giving her a tag because I love her

[tayytayy12]

Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me | LN4 x singer!reader

DR3 x Exgf!reade

Summary - After a messy breakup with Daniel reader releases a new album, but no one expects the random love song at the end of it, and they certainly didn’t expect it to be about Daniel’s friend and ex-teammate.

Warnings - Cheating mentioned, swearing, villain Daniel (for the request I love Danny Ric)

FaceClaim - Gracie Abrams

Requested - Yes

Notes - Please give me the benefit of the doubt for some spelling errors, it’s not my strong suite 😭

Yourusername

Liked by - YukiTsunoda22, TaylorSwift, SabrinaCarpenter, and 5,653,773 others

Yourusername - I’m back, and I’m bringing you a gift to apologise for being away for so long 🤍 my brand new album, ‘My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys’ is out tomorrow, you’ll hear more from me then. I love you 💕

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User1 - Y/N OMFG AHHHH

User2 - I CANT WAIT A WHOLE NEW ALBUM TOMORROW WHAT.

User3 - ITS ONLY BEEN 4 MONTHS

User4 - This shit looks sad

User5 - Daniel did some fucked up shit in their relationship 😭

User6 - Hoe wdym ‘My boy only breaks his favourite toys’

User7 - Is everyone forgetting Daniel’s favourite bar in Australia is called ‘the black dog’

User8 - He fucked up big time

User9 - Fr, how do you cheat on THEE y/n y/l/n?

User10 - Daniel’s teammate in the likes shows that even the grid don’t agree w how he treated our girl 😭

User11 - Stop making him a villain okay, he didn’t know what he was doing.

User12 - Daniel, and thirty four year old man, didn’t know what he was doing when he controlled, belittled and public cheated on Y/n, a TWENTY THREE year old girl? He knew what he was doing, you can’t defend him anymore.

SabrinaCarpenter - You even look pretty when you’re sad

Liked by author

Yourusername

Liked by - JackAntanoff, MaxVerstappen1 and 6,545,720 others

Tagged | @/AaronDessner, @/JackAntanoff

Yourusername - My god where do I even start? This album is everything and more to me, really. The last year of my life writing these songs has been my escape from my reality, one that I really didn’t want to be a part of, but it was also one that I didn’t know how to escape, and when I finally did I didn’t know how to let go of all the pain I’d kept with me in that time. So, I picked up my pen and let it do the talking. This is my first album where every song is written solely by me, but of course I had the help of my soulmate collaborators, jack and Aaron to produce and do their magic. The pair of them helped me, along with someone special showed me that what I felt was okay, and valid. These songs are my most unfiltered and my most vulnerable, this is not an album that has been made for the general public. This one is one I made with only you, my biggest supporters and myself in mind. I’m forever grateful of how I’m able to trust you with my feelings without any fear. I love you, and I hope you live this album like I do, or it could help you like it did me. Just remember, you’re not alone in your feelings 🤍

‘My boy only brakes his favourite toys’ is all yours now, all eighteen tracks about my coping mechanisms, and one about how there’s happiness after heartbreak… 🤍

View comments

JackAntanoff - You’re a living legend 🫡

Yourusername - That’s all you New Jersey

User13 - What. The. Fuck. This. Album. Has. Killed. Me.

User14 - I’m sorry but wtfdym miss Y/n Y/l/n has a song where she says the word ‘I’ll get older but your lover stay my age’

User15 - All too well killed me

User16 - I love how you can just tell what songs were produced by jack and what by Aaron

User17 - ‘I know it won’t work’ is so heart wrenching istg no one speak to me

User18 - I’m its biggest stan

User19 - WHERE DID THIS HOE FIND MY DIARY WHEN WRITING THE PROPHECY ?!??!!??

User20 - Because I liked a boy is so superior, like she finally addressed what Daniel’s ‘fans’ put her through at the start of their relationship

User21 - ‘Say it once again with feeling, how the death rattle breathing silenced as the soul was leaving, the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me breathed and reeling, my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree d-y-i-n-g’

User22 - How did it end is so superior

User23 - Y/n could write Romeo and Juliet but Shakespeare couldn’t write this bridge

User24 - PAY FOR MY THERAPY

User25 - Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years, will all this be declassified? And you'll confess why you did it. And I'll say, "Good riddance". 'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins. Instead, I just died inside. And you deserve prison, but you won't get time

User26 - The smallest man who ever lives reigns supreme on this album

User27 - NONE OF YOU HOES TALKING ABOUT CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT?

User28 - FR WTFDYM THERES THIS WHOLE SAD ASS ALBUM THEN JUST THE BEST LOVE SONG Y/N HAS EVER WRITTEN

User29 - I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE HELL ITS ABOUT

Yourusername - And who is my man? that’s one secret I’ll never tell.

User30 - HOE YOU WATCH TOO MUCH GOSSIP GIRL

LandoNorris

Liked by - Yourusername, Charles_ Leclerc and 2,536,639 others

LandoNorris - Week off shenanigans, I’m still the biggest Y/n Y/l/n fan. New albums great btw 🫡

View comments

User31 - Everyone is a Y/n fan

User32 - WHO ARE THOSE FLOWERS FOR HELLO

User33 - he has taste with call it what you want AND feather

User34 - he made it CLEAR he’s team Y/n

User35 - Thought Daniel was your friend..?

User36 - Everyone ignoring the boyfriend Lando pic

Yourusername - Thanks for the streams 🫡

LandoNorris - no problem 😌

Yourusername

Liked by - LandoNorris, Lilymhe and 2,726,637 others

Tagged | @/landonorris

Yourusername - Turns out I’m physically unable to do a soft launch so, THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND LANDO AINT HE ADORABLE

View comments

User37 - What the fuck

User38 - OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

User39 - I’m in love with them already what

User40 - Y/n you’re truly an icon

User41 - THE PHOTOS OMG THEYRE ADORABLE 😭

DanielRicciardo - wow.

User42 - GET YOUR STINKY ASS OUT OF HERE WE DONT WANT YOU LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE

User43 - This is his karma

LandoNorris - You’re cute

Yourusername - Stop I’m blushing.

User44 - Obsessed.

LandoNorris

Liked by - Yourusername, OscarPiastri and 2,644,646 others

Tagged | @/Yourusername

LandoNorris - Lol stay mad, should’ve treated her better when you had her.

I love you so much, and I’m going to treat you that way 🤍

View comments

User45 - LMAOOOO

Yourusername - My god I love you

LandoNorris - I love you so much more

———————

[cursedcatvibes]

WORLD RECORD!

re4r!incel roommate leon x roommate reader

word count: 3.6k

summary: Incel leon who thinks he’s above women and thinks he’s an alpha male. he’s an absolute piece of shit too.

tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI! Smut, many many mentions of misogyny. He literally can’t find the clit. P in V, he wrapped it before he tapped it! Incel 😧. quick mention of abuse but it’s not super relevant to the plot. not proofread!

a/n: not much to say other than i cringed so bad trying to write leon’s character, but i was committed, i looked through incel forums on reddit and even got chronically online real quick. also i’m on vacation! so i’m not able to write as much as I want! :( i’ll probably post small drabbles but i will most likely have another full story up in a month considering I cranked out a whole 7k page fic and then now a 3k one. DONT QUOTE ME! Also maybe agent leon x agent reader next. @gettingsilly (my sweetheart who was so hyped about this! here you go my love!)

songs:

pussy - rammstein (highly recommend them)

behind blue eyes - limp bizkit (fun fact; this was the og title of the story!)

rape me - nirvana (this was going to be a non con but i changed my mind)

norwegian wood - the beatles (literally burns the woman’s house down cause she don’t want him😭)

happy reading!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Handsome. Is the first thing that came to mind when you first opened the door to greet your new roommate, Leon. 

-

The rent was getting out of hand these days and you figured it was a way better deal to split the rent instead of living paycheck to paycheck damn near.

The only downside were the horror stories about roommates and even just random strangers too. It made you feel a bit queasy, but what else could you do, a recently single woman and at the ripe age of 25, technically you were in your prime for all types of creeps and weirdos to try and pull something, especially if you live alone.

So you bit the bullet and put up a craigslist ad, putting it at the back of your mind for now while you went back to getting rid of your ex-boyfriend's belongings. 

You only remembered about it when someone responded to it and after a few messages back and forth you gave the address to him and told him he could move in tomorrow. Feeling a bit proud of yourself for even being able to organize such an arrangement.

-

The first thing you noticed was how absolutely built he was, he definitely went to the gym and it made you feel a little insecure for a brief moment, before you stepped to the side to allow him to enter. “Welcome to your new home!” You beamed, happy with what you’ve done to the place. Completely missing the way his eyes ran up and down your body lewdly. 

He only wanted to have a girl roommate because he figured she would give it up easily or at least flaunt her body off to him, much to his dismay you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, not a single ounce of skin showing where he could sculpt your body out. “Prude.” Is what ran through his mind.

“Thanks.” He replied stiffly. “Where is my room at?” Leon asked as he looked around, he was kinda pissed off you didn’t show him any goods. He hated girls who didn’t show off their body, but he hated girls who showed off too much, thought they were just whores looking to get some attention.

So what if he catcalled them? Obviously they were dressing like that for attention and got all pissy when he gave them that attention.

You were oblivious to Leon’s degrading thoughts, too focused on trying to make sure he didn’t try to kidnap or murder you. When he spoke about where he would be staying you perked up and showed him the room while also giving a quick tour of the apartment.

You were even sweet enough to help him unpack all his things once they were all brought in! He owned some interesting objects, a bit uncomfortable to watch him unpack as he had a whole box dedicated to just sex toys. Fake pair of tits that were way too big to even be comfortable on a woman, fake mouth, fake ass, and multiple fake pussy’s. That wasn’t even the worst part of it. 

It got all too freaky when he pulled out hentai figurines that had little to no clothes on, all in lewd poses with lewd expressions on their faces, more specifically ahegao. You could feel the initial attraction from him sizzle down to a mere speck of a flame.

How could someone just own all this stuff so casually, flaunting it like it was a toy race car collection? But Leon didn’t care, fictional cat women were so much better than real women. They couldn't reject him or deny him sex. (Because they quite literally couldn’t, they're inanimate figures.)

He had the straightest deadpan expression on his face and you got the heebie jeebies thinking about what he could’ve possibly done with all these weird toys.”So,” You cleared your throat awkwardly, suddenly feeling like every object of his you touched was just icky. “Where did you say you lived before this?” You asked curiously.

Leon glanced over at you, wondering if you were gonna pull your hoodie off and finally show him your tits if he answered all your questions, he was growing frustrated. Dammit woman! Show him something! He thinks this is the longest he had gone without jerking off or watching a porno. If you weren’t gonna entertain him sexually why were you still bothering him?

“My mom’s. She said something about me needing to move out because I'm too old.” He grumbled out, this gave you a major ick, didn’t this guy say he was 27? He wasn’t struggling to get money when clearly he can afford expensive sex toys and other items. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You replied quietly, to which Leon grunted in acknowledgment.

Once you finished the box you were unpacking you decided the best course of action was to just walk away from this conversation. “It seems like you can handle the rest on your own, I don’t really wanna break any of your computer monitors and stuff.” You said as you stood up from the floor and brushed your hands against your pants.

 “Okay.” Leon hummed, disinterested in  conversation. All he really wanted to do was hurry up and set his computer up so he could jerk off in peace. You leaving his room was a bonus. He didn’t want to be downright rude and kick you out, after all, he is totally a nice guy. Plus he got the opportunity to stare at your ass as you walked out, he could see it jiggling underneath your sweats which was enough to rile him up.

-

You wish you could say it improved from there but unfortunately it did not at all. It only seemed to worsen. Like who the hell is watching porn from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep. It’s all just yucky. The loud and over exaggerated moans that were definitely done for performance and not real. 

The only time Leon would leave his room was to eat or grab some water, he always looked so dazed too, it made you wonder what he was doing in there, you’ve never seen him go to work so it made you curious. 

Leon on the other hand was always so dazed or flustered in the face from the amount of jerking off he does all day. He once ran his dick dry enough to start cumming clear, rubbing himself raw damn near. It’s not like he tried not to get laid, he definitely did. But it never worked.

The way he carried himself was creepy, flaunting the fact he was a nice guy who could give a girl a good time. News flash! If you have to say you’re a nice guy, you're definitely not. Girls often avoided him in middle school and that followed him throughout highschool and even college. So he naturally drifted towards animated women.

He was hot but his personality quite literally sucked, it's like he would attract women because of his looks and as soon as he started speaking they lost interest. But you? You still greeted him every time he came out of his room with a polite smile on your face, offering to cook him something but he always declined because the mere thought of having a woman do something trivial such as cook for him like a traditional woman should, made him hard on the spot.

He had the normal views on life, such as all men do. Women are baby makers, they belong in the kitchen, they should treat their man like a king. It’s not like anyone could change his opinion either. He’s so far into the rabbit hole that his other incels praise him like he was a god, thus only further bursting his massive ego. 

-

You didn’t think much of Leon, not in a harsh way, you just didn’t really know that much about him because you two never spoke like that. All you did know was that he watched porn, maybe a bit too much that was considered normal. It's not like you're shaming him because you watch porn too, but you have some decency, a bit of dignity and pride.

Yet your opinion of him instantly sours when one day he comes out of his room, which reeked with the smell of cum and sweat, the room was humid too, which confused you when you first noticed it. He wore an angry expression on his face as he stomped, yes, like a toddler would, towards the fridge to guzzle down a can of soda. 

You, sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling through your phone waiting for the time to pass on your off day, you planned to go to a club and slut yourself out to help remind yourself that you’re in fact hot and your ex missed out. Yet when he slammed the fridge door closed that caught your attention, perking your head up like a puppy.

“Uh, you alright?” You asked aloud, watching his eyes snap towards you with a frustrated huff. He figured if you put up with him this long then you must see the same misogynistic views he does about women. “No!” He scoffed out, dragging himself to sit on the couch next to you, like directly. Knees touching and everything.

This piqued your curiosity, maybe you could learn something about him? “What’s wrong?” You questioned as you shut your phone off, sitting up a bit straighter now, putting some distance between the both of you on purpose by grabbing a throw pillow.

Leon then started to rant and you’ve never been more disgusted and horrified in your life before. “I’ve been talking to this really hot chick and we were hitting it off, even had phone sex once or twice but when she asked me who my ideal woman was she ghosted me! Like what's wrong with saying women belong in the kitchen, or doing laundry, or even just cleaning. Women are only here to serve us alpha males.” 

Your nose scrunched up while your face morphed into genuine horror mixed with disgust. Is this seriously his mindset? It must be a joke or something of the sort because no way in hell. “Is.. is this a joke?” You asked, feeling puzzled as you looked around for a hidden camera. Out of all the people you got stuck with, you got stuck with an incel of all people.

Leon stared at you with the most serious face he could muster, he wasn’t kidding, in fact he was getting a bit upset that you were thinking he was joking. “Women are what's wrong with this world! You’re all too soft and so ditzy. You all think men’s feelings are a joke.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and you swear you can make out a dried cum stain on his clothes. 

You felt so sick and also tickled, you’ve never heard someone or have been around a real life incel before and unfortunately this one came in the form of a super hot guy that wasn’t looking so hot anymore 

“Ew..” You stood up from the couch and stuck your tongue out slightly. “Is that how you see women? No wonder why she ghosted you, you’re a fucking incel.” You scoffed out, to which Leon got offended. “So?! What’s wrong with that?!” He shouted, the tips of his ears turning pink. It was different being scolded by a woman in person rather than over the phone because  he knows they can't hurt him physically but rather verbally. Plus it’s much easier to insult someone online versus real life.

“Do you actually hear the words leaving your mouth?” You questioned, staring him down intensely. Leon tried not to shrink in on himself, it reminded him of his mom telling him that he had done something wrong and now he was in trouble. So he doubled down and sat up straighter too, staring up at you. 

“Yeah, and what about it? Why do women get so butthurt over every little thing?” Leon grunted out, rolling his eyes like a little kid would. You were just astonished that he was willing to keep going even after being confronted with the fact, but you weren’t oblivious to the way his ears were turning red from embarrassment. “Fine, if that’s how you’re gonna be.” You murmured as you sat down on the coffee table right in front of him. His eyes follow your form curiously. If he was being honest the only reason why he actually moved in with you was because he thought you were really hot from your profile picture and even the photo you sent of yourself to prove that you were real, per his request. He jerked off to both photos for hours. (Plus his mom really did kick him out.)

Leon went to question you in hopes of turning the table around to make it backfire on you. Yet as his mouth opened to make another snide remark about women you spoke up first. “Let me be the first one to tell you this, and I mean this too.” You paused as you stared right into his eyes. “No woman is ever gonna have sex with you if you have this mentality and mindset.” You watched his eyes widen a bit and felt some joy come from it.

Leon balled his hands up into fists in genuine anger, a deep part of himself knew she wasn’t lying but the other part was so adamant on her being wrong. Obviously she didn’t know what she was talking about, women never do. “You’re a liar. You’re just jealous.” He scoffed out, narrowing his eyes into thin slits.

You were absolutely not lying.

Far from it actually.

The closest Leon had came to a pussy is on a computer screen, let’s face it. No woman on earth would wanna sleep with such scum such as him, not even prostitutes themselves want to take on such a tedious task. They’d rather kill themselves or have their pimp abuse them than sleep with him.

“Really, name 5 women you’ve had touch you in a romantic way.” You countered, staring into his eyes with an intense expression. Leon opened his mouth to try and smugly name a woman until he realized the answer was 0, he had no names because no one wanted him like that.

It was a blow to his ego and it showed on his face. If he wasn’t such a loser with terrible opinions along with his shitty personality then you would’ve felt bad but you didn’t. It was his own fault.

“That’s not fair.” He grumbled, staring up at you with a slight hurt look on his face. He wanted to get back at you. Make you regret and eat your words. How? Well that problem was quickly answered as he grabbed your wrist and pinned you beneath him on the couch. A yelp leaving your mouth at the sudden movements.

“What the—“ You were suddenly cut off by Leon’s hand slapping over your mouth, he smelled of cum and sweat, it made you wanna gag and throw up on him. “I bet I can make you cum so hard you’ll forget that you were mean to me.” He hissed, his fragile ego was broken because of you!

You furrowed your eyebrows before rolling your eyes. “Whatever.” You said underneath his palm, voice coming out muffled.

Leon smirked and moved his hand off your mouth, gazing lustfully at your body. He seemed confident but on the inside he was screaming at himself. He’s never touched or seen a woman in such an intimate manner in real life. This wasn’t a screen this time.

He gulped and hooked his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, he was determined to make you cum if it was the last thing he ever did.

Once he removed your sweatpants he found you commando beneath it. His breath caught in his throat, your mound was glistening beneath the light in the living room. It wasn’t even wet because of him, but he was dumb enough to not know the difference. He stared in awe before looking back up at your face when you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You gonna stare or what?” You questioned.

Leon shook his head before putting his hands on you, gently rubbing your inner thighs. Making you think that for a brief moment he might actually know what he was doing, right up until he pressed his thumb against your lower lips and started rubbing them.

Completely missing your clit.

He felt so aroused and a bit cocky now that he was touching your pussy, his eyes laser focused on your face to see if it was feeling good. He even tried dirty talk too. “Yeah? Does that feel good? I bet it does.” Literally hyping himself up.

You found it hilarious and decided to nod, stifling a laugh as you let out a fake over exaggerated moan he hears in his crappy pornos. Leon let out a soft groan at the sound, his hips bucking up into the air while his cock twitched.

Now, Leon had seen enough porn to know that he needed a condom and lube, obviously they never showed the actors prepping the girls' pretty cunts, they just stuck it in. Spoiler alert, foreplay is hot! None is not.

While Leon ran to his room you took the opportunity to finger yourself, even if you were sure he wasn’t packing much you wanted to be somewhat prepared for a small stretch, you groaned silently, throwing your head back in pleasure, clearly favoring your hand over Leon himself.

When you heard his footsteps you quickly pulled your hand away and watched as he excitedly took his pants off. Wow, so much for knowing how to pleasure a woman. It was funny to watch him struggle to keep it together when he kneeled back between your legs.

“I’m gonna put it in now.” Leon announced, squirting a generous amount of lube on your cunt before (attempting to) rolling on the condom. (You definitely had to help him. The last thing you wanted was to get knocked up by some dimwit.)

He put some lube on his cock, jerking off a bit while looking down at your pussy. Not your face. When he stopped masturbating he slapped the tip of his dick against your clit a few times, your body jolting in pleasure at the sudden sensation.

This immediately boosted his ego and you were in awe he was able to make you feel partially good. He was just daydreaming of how tight and warm your hole was going to feel. His dick wasn’t that big either, it was average length, average size, average balls. Just.. underwhelming and average.

“What’re you waiting for?” You murmured, snapping him out his trance briefly before he cleared his throat. “J-Just trying to brace you for my cock, it’s big right?” Leon questioned, feeling a bit insecure but he wanted you to make him feel better, feel like a man. That was a woman’s purpose after all.

“Yes (no).” You sighed out breathily, keeping up your act, dragging your nails down his body gently, causing him to shudder and nod with a smug look on his face. He pushed himself in fairly easily, considering your ex-boyfriends cock was much bigger and overwhelming, accidentally clenching down around Leon’s sad excuse of a penis which riled him up, thinking you had came.

You definitely missed his dick and now was stuck with some crappy one attached to a misogynistic freak. A soft sound of discomfort left your lips and Leon took it as a sign that you were enjoying it. You must love it! He was so confident in himself!

So confident that after 5-6 thrusts he spilled inside the condom, talk about a minute man. He was a millisecond man. His whole body spasmed from euphoric bliss, he had never cum this hard in his life before, burying his face in your neck, sloppily kissing at your skin because he couldn’t kiss for the life of him.

You were stunned someone could cum so quickly, that had to be a world record or something. Quickest man to cum after sticking it in or some random ass title, you hadn’t realized you had zoned out about the Guinness record book until Leon pulled his cock out from inside you, feeling good about himself.

He was panting softly from the intensity of his orgasm, leaning back against the couch to gaze at your pretty pussy, he wanted to eat you out too, wanting to show you he was good orally too.

“Was it good? Did you cum too?” Leon said as he stared into your eyes, wanting to hear you sing his praises and take back your harsh words that hurt his feelings. Almost like a puppy waiting for its owner to praise them for pissing outside the house instead of inside.

You grabbed your clothes and put them back on, smirking as you stared him dead in the eye. “No, I didn’t cum.” You snickered as his face dropped, kissing his forehead quickly. “Sucks to suck, Leon.” You said casually, getting up to go to your room and nap.

Leon sat on the couch stunned beyond relief, his cock kicking against his thigh as he watched you.

He swore under his breath that you were lying and you did cum, after all, delusion is key, and delusion is what made him become your roommate to begin with.

[dira333]

Cupid on a mission - Sugawara x Reader

Featuring: @screamin-abt-haikyuu x Asahi and @6okuto x Akaashi

Tagging: @lees-chaotic-brain

"Whatever you can do, I can do better," you say, chewing at the straw of your drink as you flutter your eyelashes up at Sugawara and Sawamura.

Daichi groans. “Don’t start,” he mutters under his breath, but Koushi’s already leaning in, teasing smirk dancing on his lips.

“Oh? You think you’re better than me? Please.”

“Tanaka and Kiyoko? That was me,” you beam, pointing at yourself with your thumb. “What do you have to show for yourself?”

“Going to Nationals?” Daichi asks only to raise his hands when both you and Koushi turn to send him an unimpressed glare.

“Listen, hotshot,” Koushi’s putting an arm around your shoulders as he speaks. With anyone else, you might think he’s trying to flirt, but this is Koushi. You’d know if he flirted with you.

“Why do you think Kageyama is the favorite Volleyball player in all Karasuno? Among the girls, at least.”

You furrow your brows and pout. “That’s not that hard. You’re working with a quiet canvas here. As long as he doesn’t try to smile, he’s pretty good-looking.”

“You want something ha-”

“Asahi,” Daichi interrupts, “You could try and set up Asahi.”

You turn toward him and Koushi follows, his arm still snug around you. He’s wearing one of those ridiculous cardigans today that make him look like the sweetest little librarian ever, although you’ve learned to fear the prankster behind the facade. It’s also ridiculously soft and you want to curl into it, not that you’d ever try.

“With whom?” Koushi asks, one step behind you. You’ve had your eyes set on a particular pair for a while now, but Asahi is already anxious enough. You don’t want to give him a heart attack.

“I think he has a crush on-”

“Already ahead of you,” you interrupt Daichi and pat Koushi’s hand, slipping out of his grasp. “Watch and learn, young Padawan.”

You feel his eyes on you as you walk on, slip through the open door from the kitchen into the living room, where Nishinoya has challenged Hinata to a dance battle. 

It’s not that hard to spot Asahi when you know what you’re looking for. A quiet spot, away from the spotlight, but where he can keep an eye on either Nishinoya or… ah, there she is.

Zaira’s chatting with Yachi and Kiyoko, wearing a cardigan not unlike Koushi- whelp, no time to think about him, you’ve got work to do.

“Hey,” you greet your friend with a smile, “Sorry, I got distracted. Daichi brought his mother’s Pizza Pockets. Can you play along for a moment?”

“Play along?” Zaira asks, a little confused, but takes your hand. 

“Sorry,” you say to both Yachi and Kiyoko, “I gotta steal her for a second. I’ve got something to prove.”

Yachi’s mouth is hanging open - but Kiyoko just grins, probably because she’s already figured out what this is all about. She knows the Third-Years better than anyone else.

“Where are we going?” Zaira asks as you make your way through the room toward the door to the backyard.

“Asahi, Hi!” You smile, “Wanna come along, get some fresh air?”

He blushes, but nods, eyes flickering between you and Zaira as he steps out into the chill of the evening.

“Oh,” you say as if you’ve forgotten something, “Could you hold this for me, Asahi?”

You look into his eyes and drop Zaira’s hand, small and warm, into his.

His hand closes around hers and they follow along for a few steps until it registers.

Asahi’s face bursts into flames and Zaira stutters like the fool in love that she is. 

“It’s really nice outside, don’t you think?” You say, walking toward the trees in the back where the leaves have turned red and gold. From the corner of your eye, you can see that they’re still holding hands, looking in opposite directions, unable to speak.

And behind them, illuminated by the lights in the house, Koushi’s leaning in the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. He looks cozy and warm and like he might admit that he’s lost this bet.

“I’m sorry,” Zaira rips her hand out of Asahi’s grasp at that moment, ruining your little fantasy of rubbing your win into Koushi’s face. “I didn’t- that wasn’t- I didn’t…”

Asahi’s staring at his hand, completely missing the look of betrayal Zaira throws you as she storms away.

“Why did you do that?” Asahi asks, his voice strangely broken. He blinks at you. 

“I…” 

“Because she knows that you like Zaira,” Koushi announces, stepping closer. “And she’s not above using steamroller tactics to get you two together.”

“But I don’t want that-” Asahi croaks and Koushi has the audacity to wink at you as he wraps an arm around his friend. “I know, I know. Come on, let’s get inside and we’ll talk about it. I do have an idea…”

-

“Koushi’s still in bed,” his mother announces when you show up at his house the next morning. 

It worries you a little that she’s not the least bit concerned about you barging in on her son. Has she too already picked up on the fact that Koushi’s not into you? But who could he be into? Yachi? No, she’s too timid. 

You’re still debating that question when you hammer your fist against his door, wait one second, and then burst through.

Koushi blinks at you, shirtless, hair a mess, with a crease on his cheek from the pillow.

“Am I dreaming?” He asks, voice raspy from sleep.

You stare at him, speechless for a good minute before you catch yourself.

“I need to know what you told Asahi last night.”

“Mhm,” he hums low in his throat, curling into his blanket again. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I do.” You step closer. 

His room is unusually tidy for a guy his age, not that you don’t know that already. You’ve spent more than enough hours in here, studying for exams. 

On the chair by his desk rests a jacket that looks oddly familiar.

“Is that mine?” You ask, walking over. 

“What?”

“The jacket.”

“I think so. You left it here last time you came over.”

“And you didn’t give it back to me?”

“I was going to, but I forgot about it,” he waves it off like it’s nothing.

“We see each other every day in school and you forget about it?”

“I had other things on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Graduating, for example?”

You press your lips together. You can’t argue against that.

“What did you say to Asahi, Koushi? Are you sabotaging my plan of getting them together just so you can pretend you’re better than me?”

“I am better than you. At least at this game.”

“Please,” you scoff. “Name one couple you made happen?”

He smiles, clearly pleased that you asked.

“Oh, gladly,” he slips out of bed, grinning when your eyes immediately shoot to his face. It wouldn’t be the first time you saw him in just his boxers, but the last time happened so long ago, it doesn’t really count.

“Takeda-Sensei and the cute Journalist.”

You scoff. “That was too easy. She was basically throwing herself at him.”

“Coach Ukai and his childhood friend.”

You bite down on your tongue. That one was a hard one, you had to give him that.

“Fine, that one was good,” you begrudgingly give in, “But so was-”

“Ah,” he grins, holding up one hand. He’s halfway in his pants and you roll your eyes as you wait for him to continue. 

“Akaashi and that girl that went to Nekoma… what was her name again?” 

“Nia. And it doesn’t really count if you don’t even know her name.”

“Please, they both needed that push.”

“Still-” He interrupts you again.

“And there’s that really cute couple… ah, no, I can’t tell you about that yet.”

“Yet? What does that mean? Who are you- Koushi! Are you planning on setting someone up? Who?”

“Not telling,” he smirks and pretends to close his mouth and throw away the key.

“You’re a menace.”

“You love it.”  You grimace behind his back. He’s right, but you’d rather die than admit it.

-

“Where are we going?” You ask half an hour later when he steps out of the bathroom, hair now just as messy, but in a different way. You wanna drag your hands through it, but you’d rather chew off your fingers one by one than admit that.

“Follow Asahi around as he confesses his feelings to Zaira.”

“What?” You’re on your feet in a heartbeat. “When? Why? How did you manage-?”

“I told you,” he preens, “I am better at this than you.”

“You’re not.”

“Am too. Mom, we’re going out.”

“Okay, stay safe you too.” She pops her head around the kitchen door. “And come over more often. It’s nice having you here.”

“Oh, erm, yes, thank you,” you stammer. This invite might have been cute when you were kids, but now it just feels weird. 

-

“Why are you staring at me?” You ask Koushi. You don’t know where you’re going and he’s refusing to tell you, but that doesn’t mean you won’t notice if he keeps looking at your face for over five minutes. If he’d been anyone else you might have thought he’d finally noticed your beauty or found some hidden feelings for you in the back of his ink-black heart. But this is Koushi, and you know to expect the worst.

“Nothing, just… are your eyebrows uneven?”

“They’re not!” You exclaim on instinct, though grabbing your phone to check. 

“Take a picture,” Koushi orders, and the tone in his voice has you follow through, starting the timer. Usually, when his voice sounds like this, something fun is going to happen.

He leans in, face serious, so you keep yours similar. Then, right when the countdown runs out, he presses his lips to your cheek.

Your heart lurches into your throat and you have half your mind to turn your phone away, not yet ready to examine the face you made.

“What was that about?” You all but whisper-yell, trying to be conscious of the people riding the train with you even though your heart wants to lurch out of your chest and slap him in the face.

Koushi grins and rests his head on your shoulder. “Not telling,” he hums low and even though you try to push him off, he’s staying exactly where he is. A menace, clearly.

-

There is no sight of Asahi whatsoever.

“We’re pretty early,” Koushi guides you toward a coffee shop, the colorful pastries literally screaming at you to get one. “Let’s get breakfast first.”

“I just had breakfast.”

“And now you’ll have it again. You still drink Chai Latte?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Let me guess, the lemon pie?” He points at an adorable little creation, the yellow color brightening your mood just by being in your field of vision. You pout.

“I don’t like it when you know me that well.”

“Sorry, not sorry. What do I like? You know that?”

“Of course,” you boast, “I’ve been forced to be around you for far too long not to know that. You like everything spicy, so I’d get the chocolate chilli parfait for you. And you’re a wuss, so you drink Hot Chocolate.”

“I do drink Hot Chocolate,” he confirms with a smile, “but I think I’d prefer something sweet today.”

“Ah,” you cock your head to the side to look him up and down. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Well, but it is me. - Yes, we’d like one Chai Latte, one Hot Chocolate, the Lemon Pie and the Unicorn Roll please.”

“The Unicorn Roll?” You ask him, voice dropped low. 

He smiles in a way that leads all attention back to that awful mole next to his eye. It looks like it’s winking at you.

“Yes, The Unicorn Roll.”

It’s a monstrosity of cream and marshmallows, decorated in colorful sprinkles and topped with a tuft of rainbow cotton candy. You’ve wanted to try it ever since it came into fashion, but just looking at it has your teeth hurt and you can never betray your loyalty to everything lemon flavored anyway.

But looking at it now, sitting in front of Koushi as if it’s just a normal dessert, it wipes everything Asahi out of your brain.

It almost makes you miss the fact that Koushi’s paying.

“I can pay for myself,” you insist, a little too late, but he’s already pushing you forward, a warm hand at the small of your back.

“Can I try yours?” Koushi asks and you’re still a little out of it, pushing your plate toward his.

“You wanna try mine?”

“I- yes…” You blink, before digging your fork in, taking out the left eye of the poor little Unicorn.

“I don’t think this qualifies as breakfast,” you groan once your mouth is empty again, thinking fast how you could possibly get another forkful of this delicacy.

“Doesn’t matter though, right?” Koushi digs his fork into your lemon pie and you take that as an invitation to take out the right eye as well.

-

“You know…” you ask between bites, now taking freely from both plates, “I apologized to Zaira. I said I was sure Asahi was going to confess now, and that I’d give him a little push. I still need to know what you told him so I don’t lose a friend as well.”

“Mhm…” He puckers his lips as he’s thinking, now slightly tinted pink by the cotton candy. “I suppose I could tell you.”

“I suppose you could.”

“I told him I’d confess my feelings if he’d confess his.”

Your fork drops loudly onto the table and you almost toss your cup off it as you try to grab it, trying to look as if you didn’t care about his words at all.

“Pretty… uh, pretty bold of you, don’t you think?”

“Well, not really. I’m pretty confident she feels the same way.”

“Oh, but does Asahi know that too?”

“Well, yes. He said it wasn’t a fair exchange, but he’d still try.”

“And how is he going to do it?” You ask, hand curled around your fork in a tight fist. You don’t want to talk about Koushi confessing. Asahi confessing is a much safer topic.

Koushi checks his phone. “He’s doing it right now. He’s meeting up with Zaira at that little park across from her house.”

Your mouth falls open.

“At the park?”

“Obviously,” Koushi smiles, eyes twinkling. “Do you think he’d confess in the open? Where all the people can see him? No way.”

“But… but why are we here then?”

Koushi’s smile changes to something softer and your heart lurches, slipping into your throat. Breathing is suddenly impossible.

You need to get out of here, fast.

“I need to go,” you manage to push out, grabbing your bag from beneath the table.

You don’t look back, but all the way down the street you don’t hear him follow you. 

Well… it’s settled then. You’ll have to move to Tokyo. 

No way you can show your face again after booking it out of there like this.

Now he’s surely going to think you like him.

-

The swings are vacant, the ground covered in leaves.

You pull your phone out of your bag, not surprised to find a flurry of messages from Zaira, each one of them more ecstatic.

And even though you gave them a push, it’s pretty clear that you’re not the one responsible for her happiness. At least not this time.

“Chai Latte, slightly chilled for the Miss?” A voice asks behind you.

“I’m not in the mood for jokes,” you tell him, not surprised when he still settles on the swing beside you.

“No jokes, I promise.”

You huff, but accept the paper cup of Chai Latte, sipping it instead of looking at him.

For a while no one says anything.

“If you’d confessed first, I’d have won a bet,” Koushi announces eventually, making you halt your movement to turn to him.

“You bet on me confessing to you?”

“First. I bet on you confessing first.”

“With who?”

“My mom,” he admits, blushing slightly. “She called me out on my crush during Junior High.”

Your jaw falls open. “That was when you used to pull on my hair!”

“It looked really cute!” Koushi defends himself. “And you always got all huffy and paid me more attention than anyone else.”

“That’s disturbing.”

“It’s honest. But I… I really like you. And you are better than me in some things. Not all things, but some things.”

You purse your lips. “For example?”

Koushi smiles. “Wouldn’t you like to know? I’m better at kissing though.”

“Prove it,” you hiss and his smile turns into a grin.

“Gladly.”

-

-x-

Dread’s creeping up your spine. 

“Oh no,” you announce to the table, interrupting Yachi and Zaira’s quiet conversation. “Koushi’s getting bored.”

“How can you tell?” Yachi asks.

“Can’t you?” You ask, just as the door opens.

“Baby?” Koushi asks, dragging the syllables, “You’ve not paid me any attention for at least fifteen minutes, that can’t be healthy.”

“You’re a big baby.”

“And you love me. What does that say about you?”

“That I have no taste?”

“No, you have a lot of taste.” He grins, propping his head on your shoulder and squinting down at the table. “Oh, I like that color for your nails. I saw some shoes that would fit really well the other day.”

“We cannot buy another pair of shoes.”

“Mhm, we cannot, but I can.”

You huff and roll your eyes. “You’ll never save money that way.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your cheek. 

“Girls,” he addresses your friends then, “I have to take her away for a minute or two. Important business, you understand. Zaira, Asahi’s in the kitchen. You should join him, maybe, because Tanaka’s trying to talk him into cutting his hair. Oh and Yachi, Tsukishima is-”

“Tsukishima is being annoying?” You interrupt your boyfriend, sending him a glare. He will not ruin your plans for Yachi. “We already know that. You can stay here if you want, I’ll be back shortly.”

“Mhm, not if I have anything to say in that matter,” Koushi announces, dragging you out of the room. The giggling of your friends follows you, but you don’t really think too much about it.

There are other things on your mind. 

Koushi’s hand in yours, or the smile he’s throwing at you, or the fact that he’s not pulling you into the living room or an empty bedroom, but outside, where it’s freezing..

You might love him, but you’ll shove his face into the snow for that.

[idontplaytrack]

I want some thing silly just absolutely goofy dorky fluff please it can be super short I just need a little giggle and to go “awwww”

Go to bed, seriously

Capri Donahue x fem! reader

Warnings: some coarse language, fluff. Just reader being a tad silly from lack of sleep

In which Capri comes home from a midnight shift to whatever the hell reader was up to instead of being asleep.

Capri checks her phone as she leaves the supermarket, heading towards her car. It was summer, so she got a job in the meantime to help time go by faster and earn some money to feel good about herself. Anyway, as expected, you didn’t text her or anything. So she assumed you were asleep. Especially since you were still dealing with the tail end of a cold.

Boy was she wrong.

“Babe, what the heck are you doing?”

You froze like a child who’d just gotten caught for eating ice cream right out of the tub, turning your head to look at her over the shoulder. “Rearranging my room.”

“You’re sick.”

“I’m fine.” You replied, obviously still congested.

“It’s almost two a.m., y/n.” She sighs, arms crossed but fighting a smile.

“I’m boredddd.” You sulked.

“Because it’s the middle of the night. You should be asleep by now.”

“You’re not asleep.” You continued, shoving one of your teddy bears into a cubby, followed by another.

She huffs, rolling her eyes, “Because I had to work. And I’m not sick. Please get into bed.”

“Nope.”

“Go to bed, seriously.” She insisted. “y/n, please get some sleep.”

You flat out ignored her, carrying on with your task of arranging all your plushies and collectibles onto the shelves.

“Is there anything I can do to make you go to sleep?” She asks, walking closer to you. Capri knew, she just wanted to tease you a little. “You want cuddles?”

To her surprise, you ignore her again. But she was no stranger to this little bit of playfulness from you. “I’m gonna go get changed then we can cuddle, okay? Leave the rest of it for the morning.”

While she changed, you finished off your arrangement of the items then when she got into bed, you did the same. “Come here, love.” She opened up her arms, gesturing for you to get closer to her, and you did. “Do you want to lay on me?” Capri asks.

“Yeah.” You nodded, shifting yourself so you were now comfortably laid on her chest. Well, as comfortably as you could with your still-achy body anyway. Capri wraps her arms around you, rubbing your back in an attempt to lull you to sleep. “What made you rearrange the room at this hour?” She asks.

“I told you.” You giggled, “I couldn’t fall asleep, and I was bored.”

“Eh, to be fair you only told me you were bored.” She grins, planting a kiss to the top of your head.

“Isn’t that a reason, though?”

She hums, “Yeah, it is. I just wanted you to be getting more rest, you know?”

“I’ve been having a lot of trouble with falling asleep.” You sniffed, “Sorry.”

“Did you take the cough syrup?” Asked Capri, her hand continuously rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“I did, guess it’s helping a little.” You told her.

“Pity it doesn’t make you drowsy.”

“Hey!” You gasped.

“It’s supposed to.” She points out.

“Didn’t go that way, did it?” You couldn’t help it but chuckle.

“Okay, close your eyes, you silly goose.” Her grip around you tightens, giving your arm a squeeze, “Go to sleep.”

You sulked but complied. “Just close your eyes and try not to think about anything.” She tells you quietly.

“Will you be home tomorrow?” You ask in a mumble.

“I’m all yours tomorrow, baby girl.” She nods, “So I’ll help you with your little makeover project for our room.”

“Okay.” You smiled, content. With your eyes fluttering shut, you stopped fighting the sleepiness, allowing the comfort of Capri’s presence to lull you to sleep. “I’ve missed you today.”

With one final kiss on the crown of your head, she says, “We can do whatever you want tomorrow. I promise. Sleep tight, sweet girl.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N: I miss Capri😩 so I finished this fic a little early lol😭

[wren-kitchens]

okay burnout has hit me like a truck in the past couple weeks and right now i’m forcing myself to rest so I can actually. overcome it gajdhsj and this has involved reading a lot of my old wips that I have abandoned

because of this, I have refound an empires s2 flower husbands au I have that I am so obsessed with, so I shall share it with you (you’re so welcome)

below the cut is a whole lot of rambles and a few drabbles of the au that I sent to my good friend stiff at like midnight whilst I was meant to be doing homework last may

(very long post under cut. be warned)

so in s2 when fwhip got the crown (originated in s1 where fwhip’s s1 character—very different from his s2 character—created the Crown (tm), and whoever wore it would have the power to give all the emperors one rule they had to follow. lots of fights broke out, joel had an amazing moment where scott was giving fwhip the crown and he yoinked it just before fwhip could get it, you get the picture) his rule was that everyone had to ‘take care’ of a goblin child. the catch was that you had to hold it in your offhand at all times, and that it was a retextured egg, so if you accidentally threw (yeeted) it, the child would ‘die’ and part of the rule was to NOT YEET THE CHILD. if you ‘killed’ the child, you could either pay 10 raw gold blocks, or care for another child

anyway, scott was the first one to get a child (against his will) and reiterated that he was ‘NOT READY TO BE A FATHER’ and I watched that and thought. I could flower husbands this so I did

scott arriving at jimmys house at the ass crack of dawn (because I imagine scott to be an early riser and jimmy to not) pounding on his door until a very tired jimmy opens it and asks wtf he’s doing it’s like 6am, whereupon scott thrusts a baby in his face like ‘HELP ME I AM NOT READY FOR THIS’. this wakes jimmy up, understandably

I imagine they’d have a conversation like ‘why do you- WHY DO YOU HAVE A CHILD??’ ‘FWHIPS RULE, JIMMY YOU GOTTA HELP ME’ ‘ME?? WHY DO YOU THINK I COULD HELP??’ ‘I DON’T KNOW YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’D BE GOOD WITH KIDS’ ‘WHY’

after about five minutes of shouting, the baby (who had been asleep this whole time) wakes up and starts to cry. scott is not ready for this and sort of holds the baby at arm’s length, panicked. jimmy sort of sighs and goes ‘give them to me’. turns out, jimmy is surprisingly good with kids, unbeknownst to him (tiny tom was gifted to jevin before he could even process it) and to the great relief of scott, who had been panicking the whole night

so. jimmy and scott are now co-parenting a child. surely no romantic tension can come from this!

well, at the start, they’re barely allies—scott only allied with jimmy so he’d get free gunpowder, and never spared a second thought when it came to teasing him, so for the first couple days, it’s quite awkward between them. mainly on scotts part—jimmy didn’t want the baby to be moved too much, and insisted that scott be just as involved as raising the child as he was, so scott just kinda. stayed at jimmy’s

they’d occasionally nip out to get more food or to explain their absence in meetings, to enormous teasing and some genuinely helpful tips from joel and sausage, who had a pretty similar experience when raising hermes (thrust into parenthood by accident and somewhat panicked when babies did what babies do best, cry through the night, poop and make lots of mess), but most of the time they’d be in the house, or taking a short walk around tumble town with the baby. what I mean to say is, they spend an awful lot of time together

so one evening they’re sat on the porch watching the sunset, the baby asleep in jimmy’s arms, and they start to talk. like actually talk; they’d been kind of skirting around each other and making semi-awkward small talk for the past couple of weeks until now, and it feels good to actually feel like they’re close. almost friends

and it sort of blooms from there

they start to actually talk every day now, even just making passing remarks and jokes that feel friendly rather than hostile, offering to take the baby when they can tell the other is tired, and sharing quiet smiles when the baby finally gets to sleep

jimmy starts teasing scott about how terrified he looked when he arrived at the door, and about how terrified he looks still every time he changes the baby’s nappy. scott makes jokes about jimmy being the opposite of an early bird, and ‘fixes’ his bed-head by ruffling it even more

it gets to a point where they’re just sharing casual touches—bumping hips and squeezing shoulders as they pass each other; resting their head on each other’s shoulders as they complain about how they tired they are; jokingly calling each other ‘beloved husband’ and pretending to kiss each other’s hand—and they realise that huh. maybe they’re not so bad after all

they settle on a name for the baby: lexie. it took a lot of back and forth (jimmy wanted to name her alex, scott wanted to name her robbie, they settled on lexie as a compromise. scott jokes sometimes that they should have gotten another child and called them steve, if they were to go with jimmy’s name)

it takes them a few weeks to notice that.. lexie has changed since they took her in. she’s more real, more solid, more warm than she used to be. her crying sounds more human, and her appetite is increasing, and they realise that-

fwhip didn’t give them real children at all. he knew of course that it would be a complete disaster if he did, and he was right—so many of the dolls (because that’s all they originally were, dolls) were broken and damaged, over and over again. but lexie wasn’t. she was never hurt, she was never damaged, nothing beyond a simple scratch from a confused norman or a bruise where she’d banged her arm on the corner of the table. and so lexie.. stopped being a doll.

fwhip came over to check one day, curious if the goblin baby was still unbroken and safe (the crown had long since been passed on, there was no need for them to keep the baby) and was enormously surprised to find out that, not only was she safe, but she was alive—alive in a way that he never thought could be possible—and a stranger sight still: a family

because that’s what they were, no matter how it’d come to pass. a confusing, chaotic, happy, healthy family

and slowly, ever so slowly, something between scott and jimmy started to change.

they revelled in lexie learning to crawl, to babble, the first time she tried solid food, the first time she bit their fingers and they felt teeth, and they did it together. they groaned at 4am feedings, and gagged at nappy changes, and went to bed exhausted, and they did it together. they cooked and cleaned and brushed their teeth over the sink and they did it together. everything they did, it was together

and they were just waiting for it to be monotonous. they anticipated the moment when it became annoying, or tiresome, or flat out unbearable with dread. but that moment never came

sure, they’d get sick of each other every once in a while. jimmy would snap at scott’s teasing in the early morning, and scott would refuse to change lexie’s nappies until he’d had a nap. but barely minutes later the outbursts would be followed by a bashful hug from behind, a mumble of ‘i’m sorry, I wasn’t fair’, a promise of ‘i’ll try to do better’

they started to find that they simply didn’t have it in them to hate it. they just couldn’t bring themselves to dislike the other; not with jimmy and his early morning drowsiness, his bright laughs, his gentle strength; not with scott and his late night weariness, his soft smiles, his teasing jokes

and soon they started to realise that they were headed towards something very different to hate

scott understood first

he’d been having these feelings for a while now, and his suspicion had started to increase every time he couldn’t help laughing when jimmy was a particularly big goof, or how his heart would soar when he’d wake up entangled in jimmy’s embrace.

it wasn’t until one night, long after lexie had fallen asleep, when both of them sat on the sofa, reading.

but today, he hadn’t been able to see jimmy as much; there was a mandatory meeting for all the rulers, with the exception of jimmy and scott, as they were taking care of lexie: only one of them had to go. scott, who only had to take one look at poor, sleepy jimmy to know that if he was to go, zero information would be retained, offered to go instead.

the meeting was much longer than he’d anticipated, and certainly not on a topic he’d deem mandatory to attend—something about pix remaining a ghost after he withered away at the princess party.

either way, when scott came back, jimmy had spent almost the entire day looking after lexie, and stopped only to give scott a one-armed hug and inform him that lexie was in her crib before he went for a nap. scott was seriously deprived of jimmy time.

which is why he’s staying up late now—just to get in as much time as he can before he inevitably falls asleep. which seems to be happening much faster than he’d anticipated.

next to him, scott hears the familiar quiet chuckling of jimmy, and the sound of a page being marked.

“scott, tell me you didn’t stay up just so you could see me.” jimmy says softly.

“never.” scott blinks, trying to escape the heaviness of his eyelids. in fact, his whole body feels heavy with sleep, as if weighed down by some invisible force.

“you sausage.” jimmy says, and scott notes the fondness in jimmy’s voice. “i’m gonna take you to bed, is that alright?”

“I think I can manage that.” jimmy says.

scott feels arms underneath his knees and around his waist, before he’s hoisted into the air. he presses close to jimmy’s chest, wrapping his arms around jimmy’s neck and burying his face in his shirt.

“I missed you today.” scott tells him. “I kept looking over to make a face at you in the meeting, but you weren’t there.”

jimmy smiles, and scott thinks he could watch him do just that all day. “you sap.”

“you’re carrying me to bed, jimmy.” scott points out.

“I never said I wasn’t a sap.” jimmy tells him, pushing their bedroom door open with his hip. “lucky you’re in your pyjamas already, because I would’ve made you get up to change.”

“I take it you are changing?” scott says, smiling again as jimmy lays him carefully down on the bed and pulls the covers around him. “thank you.”

jimmy presses his lips against scott’s forehead, and his eyes flutter shut. “‘course. beloved husband.”

something in scott’s chest glows as he slips into the land of sleep, and as jimmy’s arms wrap around him from behind a minute later, he can’t help admitting to himself something he thinks he might have known for a long time.

because wow. he really does love jimmy, huh?

so one day, scott is up early (as usual) and feeding lexie at the table when jimmy comes up behind him and hugs him from behind, wearing his pyjamas - which are just joggers and a white tshirt - and scott is able to see something that he hadnt actually noticed before: along the outsides of jimmy's arms are small little scars, looking curiously close to stitches

scott asks how he got them when jimmy is awake enough, and jimmy just goes 'oh yeah, joel did it'. scott just kinda. stares at him for a moment until jimmy realises thats a very confusnig answer, and explains a little more

joel, however he may claim, is very new to his powers, and for a while didnt actually understand how they worked. he and sausage never actually meant to create a real child (hermes didnt have a name for a long time), they were just mucking around one night and somehow hermes became alive. something similar happened with jimmy

joel just thought it was a funny joke to call jimmy a toy, and being unaware of his powers, never really considered that it coukd have a genuine affect on jimmy. but sure enough, jimmy started to notice significant changes, and after a while, he had become a toy. jimmy just thought joel had done it on purpose, and for a while he was just furious with him for doing this to him

but when they formed their alliance after the fighting was over, joel saw the stitching along his arms and the yarn of his hair and was entirely panicked when jimmy asked him to reverse it, because he had no idea he could do that and was horrified to find out that he'd done this to jimmy

jimmy was somewhat relieved to know that joel didnt actually do it on purpose, and slightly terrified to find out that joel had. no clue how to reverse it

it took a little while of trial and error, but finally joel figured out how to turn him back into a human. the only issues? it hurt. jimmy supposed he should have expected it - the initial transformation had happened over months - but at that moment all he could think about was how awful the pain was.

afterwards, joel healed his wounds, and explained with a shellshocked expression that the stitches had ripped out of his arms (thats where the scars came from, jimmy tells scott.) it stopped hurting very shortly after, what with joel's healing, but sometimes jimmy feels almost phantom pains in his arms from that horrible moment

scott likes to trace up and down the scars on his arms, sometimes to calm jimmy, sometimes just because he likes the look on jimmy's face when he does it

[apotheotic-cravings]

What was meant to be a sketch of Harrow in formal wear quickly devolved into a shitty comic of perhaps my favourite scene in htn

[trash-can-sam]

What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.

+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)

[braisedhoney]

some tragic love stories be like: if i could bottle the galaxy, i would pour it into a cup so it would be easier for you to drink. do you want them? do you want the stars? or do they suit you better as adornments for your eyes than glitter on your lips?

but they don’t want the stars. they don’t want the galaxy. but how can they not? is that not enough? (it’s too much, that’s the problem. it’s too much.)

[hcdragonwrites]

A Nightmare (a @journey-to-the-au drabble)

Another one! I split this one into two- so that way the people who enjoy fluff and are sensitive to the triggers can pick one or the others. Warning: this is about the Six Eared Macaque and what happens in the Betrothal AU

Trigger warning: Gore, Violence, Cannibalism and Descriptions of the Like. Allusions of SA (nothing happens but if this is a trigger don’t read!)

Did Heaven know of nightmares?

Earth Reaching Willow couldn’t answer that. In all her endless days within the Polestar Palace, among the Orchards of Immortal Peaches, and across the wide clouded bridges and celestial marvels, she had never known anything but tranquility and Peace.

Willow felt the other Monkeys of the troop swirling about her. Mothers bared fangs in fierce smiles while fathers and brothers teetered on grabbing weapons or jumping into the fray. However the being before them, the being that had been living among them, wore a familiar face, spoke in a voice that was warm in tenor.

It was a trusted person, a king of kindness, that had sat before them with grisly gore smeared over his teeth.

This wasn’t Wukong.

The Monkey King slouched, relaxed on the floor of Water- Curtain Cave. The gray stone beneath was dark with the scattered remnants of …

Willow couldn’t. She couldn’t - who had it been? Who had they been ? Willow had spent decades among the troop of Flower Fruit Mountain, years watching her new family grow and flourish. She had welcomed new members, helping mothers tend and care in turn for the babies and teach. She had brought flower petals to scatter upon the bodies of old and fallen friends and family, returning their vessels to the earth and praying for their next reincarnation. Death was not impossible for the Monkeys of the mountain even if age was not a factor now.

Her stomach curled at the scattered red and pink and purple flecks against the gray stone.

Willow had tended and cared for her family. Liu, Rin Rin, Ma, Ba, Beng, Mama Courage, Mama Wisdom, Chestnut- and so many more. She had cared for them because they loved her and she loved them.

Willow cared for them in all the years Wukong had been away. She, wife and friend to king of Flower Fruit Mountain, understood the importance of her position.

This creature that had once been alive was now twitching as it’s body bled out.

Another rending, echoed in the cave. The teeth of this Wukong hooked into the rib cage of the fallen little monkey beneath his foot. The red flesh pulled free of the white bone with a shlap sound. This mimicry of Wukong slurped the flesh and smacked his lips as if in ecstasy.

“Exquisite taste as always.” The voice was so familiar in its sound. Wrong wrong, Willows mind warned, her stomach becoming stone. This isn’t him!

The corpse of the monkey lay near the entrance of the cavern, splayed out in the pose of a running animal having been taken down by a lion. Upon that corpse, casual foot set against its shoulders, was the monarch of the mountain.

Mama Courage was bristled, fangs flashing and eyes full of fury. For all the rage behind him, the creature that wore the skin of their friend, was unperturbed. Instead he dug his claws into the skin and pulled. The sound set her teeth on edge and her stomach to flipping. Something pink and soft was between his claws- and then down his gullet.

The mothers and the distant warriors around the cave watched in horror. Most of the troop was outside, enjoying the everlasting summer of the mountain. Willow wished she had been just a bit faster, just a bit sooner and she could have been among them.

Instead she was stuck inside a living nightmare.

The Wukong turned his head, eyes alighting on one little of the troop adolescents who came too close. Faster than any of them could react, the Wukong had seized the youngster by his tail and dragged him over. The mothers started forward but froze at the pained screams of the little monkey.

“Curious one are you not?” The Wukong grinned, all threat within that smile. He sat the youngster beside him, petting his fur and pulling it close. “Come! Take a bite! This foolish subject shouldn’t have brushed me in his haste to get by. Now he will serve me in the only remaining way he can~”

“Eat! Eat!” With his free paw he gestured to the slaughtered monkey at his feet. The individual had had his throat cut, the blood pooling beneath his dun fur. The great wound on his side had been inflicted while they had been alive, it had happened right before Willows eyes.

Willow didn’t remember what the conversation had been about before. She had been walking out of one of the stone huts, signing to Wisdom beside her. It was the season for apple picking and they were both in a deep conversation about what foods to make with the apples they harvested.

‘Pies?’ Wisdom had puzzled.

‘And jams’ Willow signed back. ‘Tarts and sauces.’

‘You want to make these?’ Wisdom signed as they turned past a curve in the cave.

‘I want to teach others how to cook them’ Willow explained. She had been baking for years now, testing and trying new creations. With so many different types of fruit orchards and with an ever abundance of rotating bloomings and ripenings, Willow couldn’t resist. Apple pies, peach cobblers, plum puddings, candied pears, and strawberry tarts. So many things Willow could make- so many treats she could spoil her family with.

When Earth Reaching Willow had started making her first treats, the smell had begun to attract some of the denizens of the mountain. Little round faces poked through the kitchen windows, eyes wide and noses inhaling. Willow had passed each little one a bit of whatever she had been making- breads full of almonds, ripe watermelons dipped into sugar, orange juice freshly pressed for the porridge she would make- and they had scurried away, excited.

It had only taken three days for the rest of the mountain to be waiting outside her door, eyes eager and arms full of the fruits they wanted made into treats.

‘Teaching will be difficult.’ Courage signed.

‘How so? I like to teach and I think most will have the patience to learn.” Willow countered gently. Then she suddenly had a thought and amended, ‘Maybe not Ba though. I think he will be the one that will possibly try to sabotage me for a prank or steal whatever I make’

Courage laughed her silent laugh. Her eyes twinkled with mirth. ‘If he switches your fruits I will make sure he gets a thorough fruit thrashing. But no- I have no concern of your ability. Only about how much space we may have in the kitchen.’

It was Willows turn to laugh.

The morning had been going so well.

And then.

The two rounded the last curve of the tunnel, coming up to the roaring waterfall that blocked the main entrance to Water Curtain Cave. It’s soft, silver light soothing to see. It was like the mountains voice, forever roaring by them all. Courage paused, grabbing at Willows sleeve.

Willow looked up.

At the great wide flat stone before the waterfall, stood Wukong. A chill crept up Willows spine.

The Wukongs eyes alighted on the two and he smiled broadly, waving.

“Mother! Willow!” He called in friendly tones. “My beautiful wife is just the person I wanted to see !”

Willow felt that chill touch her veins.

He skipped closer eyes dancing brightly. But something was off. There was a shine to his eyes that looked feverish.

Wukong grasped the limp hand of Willows and kissed it. The press of that mouth over her skin felt hungrier, the eyes of his looking upward into her own with … with an expression of love meant for …

For the bedroom.

Willow took her hand from his palm, plastering a small smile onto her face. A wolf was before her. Wearing sheep’s clothing. Willow knew a wolf when she saw one however.

Wukong and her may be husband and wife but he never hinted or tried at more romantic inclinations when they were away from the cloudy courts of Heaven.

As she pulled the hands from his there was another flash, some sort of color burning in his eyes. What was that?

“Hello Wukong.”

“My Love~” His voice was syrupy sweet. “I have missed your company these few nights. Will you indulge me? I have the perfect place picked out! There’s a pond just south of here- and when the moon is out and the water is still, it turns silver and it’s beautiful.”

“It reminds me of your beauty.”

“I would love to,” Willow felt the repulsion rise. She had to fight the urge to pull back. Courtly edicate. She had dissuaded similar trysts and attempts from far more skilled men than this Wukong. But none of them looked like her best friend. “However I’ve promised to bake an apple pie and show your Mother how to make one.”

Courage nodded, signing ‘We must be off, son. The light will soon be behind the mountain and it will be too dark to see.’

Courage grasped her hand, tugging her away.

Wukongs face fell. Another flash in those eyes.

What happened next was all too quick, all too brutal.

Wukong- the wolf in Wukongs skin- moved to catch her hand-

And Willow had retreated, barely escaping his grasping hand.

One moment, Wukong had been trying to grab her attention. Courage had caught her hand, tugging her. Willow had bowed and given her excuses, her apologies. She retreated in relief. And she saw the eyes, finally, change to an ice blue.

The next moment, as one of the many monkeys walked by -was his name Radish or Cloud?- Wukongs eyes flashed.

Wrong-they are blue with red chips within them. Why are they blue ?

It was like the striking of lightning. One minute Wukong had stood, gaze open and full of such a light as to give a dragon nightmares, and the next the world was turned end over end. The monkey had at one moment been brushing past the king and the next he had been pinned to the stone floor. The savage strike had split the side of the little monkey's flank, opening up fur and skin and flesh. Exposing the inner workings of the poor creature in a spray of red so dark as to be black. The Wukong with those painfully bright blue eyes had cleaved the bone of the rib cage as easily as a knife slicing through butter.

The monkey gasped, eyes blinking in confusion. The pain hadn’t registered yet. Only shock. Wukong tugged a bit of pink intestine out of the still writhing monkey and ripped it to shreds.

Blood.

Screaming.

Willow felt her stomach heave.

“I have your attention now ?” Wukong had said.

Not Wukong.

This creature, whoever and whatever it was, was not Sun Wukong.

It couldn’t be.

This Wukong shook the adolescent monkey it had hostage again, yanking at the corpse before him. The noise of the screams had brought the few monkeys still in the caves running, some dragging weapons. Upon seeing however, that the threat was no tiger or jackal or leopard but their own king tearing away at one of his own, had driven all the fight from them. It had left only horror.

The poor monkey face was contorted in a frozen scream. Its eyes were staring sightless. Vacant and grayed over. Gone.

“Come have a taste. I only share the best of meals with the ones I love.” The wrong Wukong spoke, tugging the poor creature forward. He held the flesh closer, eyes blazing blue. The tiny monkey squirmed in his grasp, eyes wild.

“Stop!”

The Wukong froze. The world froze as Willow called out. Her heart raced. Only her heart and the roar of the waterfall dared to make a sound.

She saw the tiny monkey squirming and clawing at the hand that was still about its scruff, whimpering. His eyes, that unusual shade of blue, slanted her way. They burned coldly, wildly, full of one such emotion that Willow couldn’t mistake.

Hunger.

“Oh?”

The Wukong set the monkey back down. He didn’t let go of the poor thing. His eyes were only for her, his attention peaked. Earth Reaching Willow, Eldest princess of the Jade Emperor, threw herself into that woman she had been before her monkey, before Wukong had come into Heaven and offered her the world. She was an actress.

As still as a pond with no ripples. He may be full of a burning ice but I must be colder- I must be that calm within the eye of a hurricane.

Willow pressed her forehead to the floor, bowing. She felt the hands of Courage tugging at her. She kept her head flat to the floor.

I must play this game. Protect my family-

Even from the one who I looks like my friend. For my friend. Wherever he is—

“Has my Wife finally decided to give me attention?” Willow heard the heavy and terrible sound of bone snapping and muscles rending. She didn’t look up. “It has been so long, my love. You’ve left your king….” A harsh crunch of bones, of noise that is the sound of teeth digging into something soft. Snapping it like a twig. “….hungry.”

“Please, let the little one go.” Willow pleaded. She felt the brush of Mamma Courage along her side, Wisdom along the other.

“Lift your head.”

Dread.

She did as she was told, composing her face to serenity. The serenity cannot withstand the horror before her. It cracked.

This Wukongs face is smiling cynically, eyes glacier blue and glowing. In his free hand, the dismembered paw of the poor deceased monkey, cut clean from mid forearm down. The bone had been cracked, the marrow dripping.

“What will you do my Willow?” He asked, shaking the still struggling babe. One of the mother monkeys barked in rage, taking a half step forward. Another stopped her. Willow felt like a mouse caught between a wolf's paws.

“Your husband is very upset at you for ignoring his … advances.”

Nothing. I won’t do anything. I will turn into the smallest speck of sand and let the wind blow me away.

Willow let her fear spin just for a moment. Then she grasped it in her mind and pressed it behind that cold veneer of courtly teachings. She had acted much of her life. She had acted to fool her father, her advisors, the very suitors that saw her as a chess piece to improve their standing within the Polestar Palace Court.

And I will act now- I will hold my horror to best give everyone a chance— a chance to get away. To prevent more deaths.

“I have neglected you husband.” The words smoothly emptied themselves from Willows lips, even as she wanted to snatch them back. Be brave. “It was not my intent to do so. I have been busy helping our family. Forgive me.”

I don't want forgiveness from you. You aren’t my Wukong. He wouldn’t demand attention from me. He wouldn’t ask me for this.

“I’ll forgive you. I’ll be pacified by you.” The imposter sounds almost relieved, as if her words had soothed a burn upon his skin. He shakes the poor baby again, eliciting a squeak and an angry chorus from the other mothers here. Willow is still surprised it is just them in Water Curtain Cave.

A miniature horror show just for them.

“I will even let this little one go, since I am such a benevolent king. No one should say that I, Sun Wukong, didn’t listen to my beloved wife.” He smiled again, staring straight into her soul. “But I want a Kiss.”

“A kiss?”

The Wukong nodded, eyes flickering. A ripple of black and then gone again. “One single kiss. To reaffirm our union. Maybe more … later.”

The ‘later’ sent chills down her spine. But Willow nodded.

“Good! An obedient wife makes a happy life!” He laughed with Wukongs voice, but none of the joy of her Wukong was reflected there. It was twisted, spun into something bent and hideous. A mimicry of joy. A sound to match the horror.

Tears streamed down her face, the only break in the smooth surface of her cool demeanor. Willow leaned forward, about to stand.

“Oh but I am not prepared.” He said. She froze. Something malicious crawled over his face. The imitation Wukong- I refuse to believe this is Wukong- took up the bloody wrist and pressed the still bloody end across his face. Willow felt her horror rise, the gorge in her throat threaten to upheave. He smeared the bloody stump across his teeth, over his lips, across his chin. Like a monsterous paintbrush, this Wukong painted his lips in the blood.

Finally the Wukong drops his captive, the little monkey scurrying up to the group seated before their King. It’s mother scooped them up, pressing them to the soft underside and trying to hide his face from the nightmare. Willow couldn’t look away. Her courtly armor, the thing she had pulled up to cover herself in, shattered into a million pieces as those blue burning eyes fluttered and locked onto her lips.

“What’s the matter darling?” The Wukong holds the arm in one hand, the free one pressed to his face, almost as if he were resting it there. The thing before her must read Willow's repulsion. His smile turns softly, a predator's smile curving away from those gore filled teeth. “Don’t you want to Kiss me?”

[simcardiac-arrested]

Needed a warm up, remembered how I saw this little guy for the first time and literally screamed

She is so ever to me, I think she should cause so many problems on purpose

i just opened tumblr and saw this and i am being so serious when i say this made my organs turn to mush and make me pace around the house for a good 3 minutes just to start having coherent thoughts

[miodiodavinci]

(head in hands) man.

[bilestat]

i am so normal i am so normal i am so normal i am so normal i am so normal i am so normal

[puppyeared]

Based on this

@poicyss

[whenthegoldrays]

I don’t know what it is about the Jane Austen adaptations I’ve seen recently, but they just have so much trouble sticking the landing.

[hylianane]

hey OPLA if you want to pick another random supporting woman to give sudden romantic tension with Nami, like you did with Kaya, I’m just saying that Tashigi is right there. and that it would mean a lot to my heart

[assim-eu-sou]

“Then what am I?”

“… you’re Spring Sunshine Su-yeon”.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo (이상한 변호사 우영우)

2022, dir. Yoo In Shik