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Persuasion 2022 makes me want to visit Jane Austen’s grave and apologise
So here’s a compilation of hilariously scathing reviews. Enjoy!
-Clarisse Loughrey
How exactly does the line, “it is said if you’re a five in London, you’re a 10 in Bath”, improve on Austen’s work or make it any more palatable to modern audiences? Or what about the comments on being “an empath” and focusing on “self-care”?
When Anne is reunited with Wentworth (Cosmo Jarvis), the man she once rejected, Austen writes: “Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. It was a perpetual estrangement.” In the film? We get: “We are strangers. Worse than strangers. We’re exes.”
There’s nothing here that seems to drive her [Crackell’s] work (...) beyond the directive of capitalising on current trends. This is exactly what happens when art becomes a brand exercise.
There’s not even an attempt to be accurate here – Marianne Agertoft‘s costumes only look like Regency dress if you’d somehow been led to believe that the pages of this month’s Tatlermagazine had been shot out of a time machine. And, as much as I am loath to defend Bridgerton, the Netflix production Persuasion clearly modelled itself after, its anachronisms at least feel carefully chosen in order to give the series a poppy irreverence.
You can’t help but think what Austen would make of all this. She was nearly 40 when she wrote Persuasion, inches away from her deathbed. Anne’s pain in the novel is sharp, laced with the fear that she’s reached a point in life where she’s outrun every last opportunity, most especially for love. How do you absorb all of that feeling, only to give us an Anne who sighs performatively after she knocks a vessel of gravy on her head and boasts about dancing to Beethoven alone in her room “with a bottle of red”? How would the latter even happen in an era before record players?
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Austen should be allowed a chance at the Instagram generation. But the frozen expression on romantic lead Cosmo Jarvis’s face throughout speaks louder than any review. (He can relax: one of the few things that can be said about this film with certainty is that it will be forgotten quickly.)
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- Patrick Cremona
It all seems so forced and deliberate, more annoying and jarring than it is charming or inventive.
Then there are the frequent fourth-wall-breaking monologues, which start early on and continue to arrive at all too regular intervals throughout the runtime – with Alice providing a near-constant running commentary on the action, one that's neither witty nor insightful enough to be worth its while. It all allows a certain archness to take hold, a smugness that gets in the way of any emotional sincerity.
For the most part, it just feels rather drab and half-hearted, breezing along easily enough without ever injecting any real pizzazz into proceedings.
All this ensures the film commits one of cinema's cardinal sins – frankly, it's a little bit boring.
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In other words, the film’s Anne, unlike Austen’s quivering and stifled introvert, is that rom-com mainstay, the manic pixie dream girl, an ostensibly smart and capable woman whose klutziness and all-round-adorability ensures she’s completely non-threatening.
Sad but true, she (Dakota Johnson) is upstaged by the wallpaper on several occasions.
The famous ’letter scene’ is shrug-worthy. The final kiss moved me not.
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It’s set in the early 19th century, not remotely of Austen, but of Bridgerton, the success of which has unfortunately convinced Netflix that anything goes. Imagine flaunting an antique copy of the novel in a full-cosplay selfie, but holding it upside down.
Meanwhile, the dialogue perpetrates five war crimes per minute.
The way Michell finessed the most autumnal of Austen’s works, with Amanda Root cast to perfection, set a gold standard. This takes a flailing leap, but it’s neither audacious enough to commit to a singular vision, nor shrewd enough to get the novel right. It nosedives between two stools and never gets up.
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It is like an Austen amuse bouche — an entry-level cover version that tries to rev up the humor and speak directly to Gen Z by using its lingo — or at least an advertising executive's idea of what Gen Z sounds like.
-Lindsey Bahr
Instead, viewers get brief snippets of Anne’s internal character conflict and her yearning for Wentworth. By extension, Wentworth is always shafted and his character falls short due to the comedic tone of the film. Anne and Wentworth have clumsy and awkward exchanges that feature the sort of delivery you’d expect from an episode of The Office as opposed to a romance about healing the wounds of two heartbroken people.
Characters are constantly espousing modern beliefs. “A woman without a husband is not a problem to be solved,” says one sagely, greeted with a wry smile by Anne. Except that in 1817, unmarried women faced ridicule, lack of social agency and destitution, something Anne and Austen knew all too well. By removing Austen’s thematic concerns – class, spinsterhood, the questionable power of persuasion – there are simply no real barriers to Anne and Wentworth’s reunion. Indeed, it’s hard to see how this spirited person could be persuaded to do anything. With such low stakes, the film crawls along without momentum.
I’m all for modernising the classics (see 2020’s Emma for Austen with an injection of over-the-top fun) but this one can’t decide if it’s trying to amuse or edify and consequently does neither. Bring back Bridgerton, please.
- Francesca Steele
Sadly Persuasion, not only the worst Austen adaptation but one of the worst movies in recent memory, delivers on all the agony and none of the hope.
The filmmakers have served up a soggy mess of limp rom-com clichés that does a disservice not only to Austen but to all her contemporary inheritors, from Cher Horowitz to Bridget Jones. As played by Dakota Johnson, the novel’s heroine Anne Elliot, a lovelorn, bookish, self-effacing woman on the cusp of spinsterhood, becomes an insufferably coy scatterbrain who speaks in 21st-century buzzwords
There is updating classic literature to bring it in tune with modern sensibilities, and then there is insulting the viewer’s intelligence. Persuasion’s endlessly attempts to pander to young audiences presumed incapable of understanding any message not conveyed via Instagram hashtag
Unfortunately, as played by Cosmo Jarvis, Wentworth is also something of a lifeless sad sack. His pining for Anne is believable enough, but his character is so thinly written that it’s hard to see whatever qualities induced her to spend eight years pining for him.
In this movie, eligible men are mostly nattily attired scarecrows on which to hang romantic longing.
The fine shadings of social class that drive the novel’s conflict are mostly lost in this translation to the screen. The presence of Black, Asian, and mixed-race actors in the cast at first feels refreshing, but any intended social commentary is lost in the script’s thematic muddle.
it’s hard to overstate what unpleasant company Johnson’s Anne Elliot is. She performatively chugs red wine straight from the bottle, goes everywhere cuddling a never-explained pet rabbit, and interrupts one stodgy teatime with an extended and charmless non sequitur about a recurring dream that an octopus is sucking her face.
she (Austen) describes Anne and Wentworth’s long-ago affair as “a short period of exquisite felicity.” The only such moment afforded by Persuasion is when the closing credits finally start to roll.
-Dana Stevens
(just read the whole review, seriously- https://slate.com/culture/2022/07/persuasion-netflix-movie-2022-dakota-johnson-jane-austen.html)
#persuasion 2022#dakota johnson#cosmo jarvis#henry golding#you poor man#not a terrible performance though#Mary and Louisa Musgrove#were also pretty good#was I the only one who expected Wentworth to be more dashing and charming tho#He's a naval captain and a hero right#Like more of a younger Brad Pitt / Tom Hardy kinda way#Anne and him had one of the smallest hero-heroine age gaps of any couple in Austenland#Plus he's the only one who's described as attractive enough to get women solely based on his looks#And Dakota Johnson's way to young and pretty looking given that Anne was kinda depressed and was supposed to have lost 'the bloom of youth'#Henry golding would have been a way better Wentworth#At least he had charisma#and he and Anne seemed far better matched than her and Wentworth - which is the exact opposite of what's supposed to e happening!
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Submission:
Mr Perfectly Fine
So I've seen a lot of theories about Mr Perfectly Fine. I think we all have. The official narrative is that it's another song "about" Joe J*nas. Gaylors think it's about Taymily. I've even seen the argument that "Mr Always Wins" is Taylor throwing shade at current beard Joe Aly*n. (Which I can definitely see, tbh. This is Miss "and you poke that bear, Taylor Kloss come out" TS we're talking about. She's no stranger to sneaky wordplay.)
But I was listening today and another idea hit me, which I haven't seen anyone talk about so far.
I wonder if Mr Perfectly Fine is a song about Scott B*rchetta? Specifically, about the Fearless era, when Taylor was "encouraged" to let Emily go for the sake of her career. We can all guess who would have been behind the encouraging.
Obviously MPF is like most of the vault tracks on Fearless TV. It's been reworked from Taylor's current point of view, so I wouldn't be surprised if she's angry about more than just the Taymily situation when she sings it now. But it does really fit for that. All you really have to do is change the lyric "I've been Miss Misery since your goodbye" to "I've been Miss Misery since HER goodbye" and boom, you have a song in which "he" isn't the lover but the outside influence who was instrumental in breaking Taylor's heart. If you've ever read Jane Austen's Persuasion, just imagine Taylor as Anne, Emily (and her other girlfriends) as Captain Wentworth, and Scott as Lady Russell, who talked Taylor out of the match for the sake of her future.
Verse 1:
Mr. "Perfect face" Mr. "Here to stay"
Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"
Everything was right Mr. "I've been waitin' for you all my life" Mr. "Every single day until the end, I will be by your side"
This all seems like romantic imagery, but it could also be metaphorical. We all know that Scott and Taylor seemed like a match made in (business) heaven at first. Taylor has talked about how Scott took a chance on her. Scott talked about seeing something unique and special in Taylor, and throwing everything behind her. We all know Taylor basically made Big Machine. It's easy to imagine Scott telling a young Taylor she had the perfect face for country. It's easy to imagine him telling her he was in it for the long haul, willing to promote and develop her as an artist even if it took a while for her to break through. It's easy to imagine both of them thinking their meeting was fate - a perfect partnership that would last her entire career.
Then comes the pre-chorus and the chorus.
But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart" Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart It takes everything in me just to get up each day But it's wonderful to see that you're okay [Chorus] Hello, Mr. "Perfectly fine" How's your heart after breakin' mine? Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time," baby Hello, Mr. "Casually cruel" Mr. "Everything revolves around you" I've been Miss Misery since your goodbye And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"
We know that Taylor and Emily were together for nearly two years before the break up, and it seems like the break up was directly related to Taylor's increasing success. In this situation, it's not hard to imagine Scott as "Mr Change of Heart" - someone who initially encouraged a private (closeted) relationship, but then changed his mind and decided even that was too dangerous. Taylor was better off alone. She was only a teenager, after all. She had years ahead of her to fall in love again. Maybe this girl thing was just a phase anyway. She was too young to throw away the opportunity of a lifetime. "Mr Casually Cruel" is, of course, a reference to All Too Well's "so casually cruel in the name of being honest". It evokes the same feelings here. It's belittling, from someone who thinks they're older and wiser. It's easy to imagine Emily repeating some of these statements back to Taylor later, claiming they come from the same place of greater maturity. You can see how Taylor came to feel no-one was on her side, when she sings about the Taymily break up in Bye Bye Baby.
And Scott would be "perfectly fine" after breaking Taylor's heart. Because he's not hurting. He's not part of the loss. I've always thought some of the descriptions Taylor uses for "Emily" in MPF seem overly harsh, and don't tally with her attitude in other songs. But they absolutely fit for 31 year old Taylor looking back at Scott's actions through an adult lens. Angry that he had such influence over her. Angry that he was so dismissive of her feelings, but mined them for a profit. Now she sees it all differently. She feels it was all about him, all about the impact her stardom would have on his label, and he didn't really care about her feelings at all.
[Verse 2] Mr. "Never told me why" Mr. "Never had to see me cry" Mr. "Insincere apology so he doesn't look like the bad guy" He goes about his day Forgets he ever even heard my name Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same
Pre-Chorus] 'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her And I never got past what you put me through But it's wonderful to see that it never fazed you
Here is where I think Taylor starts to conflate the past and present. She goes from talking about Scott's first betrayal to his last and worst one. Selling her masters to Sc**ter Braun. Never had to see her cry? No explanation for the betrayal? Insincere apology? Attempts to sign new artists to replace Taylor at Big Machine? Apparent indifference to something Taylor still hasn't got over? All of this checks out for Scott and the masters situation. Especially the line about thinking he was "different than the rest" only to find out "you're all the same". She thought Scott was like a father to her, but when it came down to it he was as greedy and self-serving as Sc**ter.
She doubles down on this in Verse 3 and the bridge.
[Verse 3] So dignified in your well-pressed suit So strategized, all the eyes on you Sashay your way to your seat It's the best seat, in the best room Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins" So far above me in every sense So far above feeling anything [Bridge] And it's really such a shame It's such a shame 'Cause I was Miss "Here to stay" Now I'm Miss "Gonna be alright someday" And someday maybe you'll miss me But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"
This is absolutely about a business man. It never fit for Taymily or Joe J*nas. It doesn't fit JA either. ("All eyes on you"? "The best seat in the best room"? "Always wins"? In his dreams!) JA wishes he'd made as much out of Taylor as Scott did. It's like the Mean Girls quote "I like, invented her!" That's what Taylor did for Scott. She put him on the map.
(Just like she's doing right now for JA. Bearding like Scott taught her all those years ago. I think the "always wins" / "alwyn" soundbite is another way of saying they're all the same to her, these men using her for their careers. She doesn't trust JA any more than she trusts Scott. The comparison is pretty revealing about her real feelings regarding JA. Pretty damning.)
The final lines say it all. Taylor would have stayed with Big Machine if they'd been more supportive of her as a person and as an artist. They could have had it all. All the success she's experiencing now, Scott could have been a part of. But he chose another road, and Taylor was left trying to process it in her songs. Trying to claw back the rights to her work by rerecording her albums. And now all that's left is for Scott to miss what he lost - far, far too late to ever get it back.
- ❄️🥀
(P.S: You're welcome, Lucky One!)
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Hi! I'd love to know what your three favorite Jane Austen ships are and which are your three least favorite?! And why, if you feel like expanding on it :)
Hi, anon! I'm having ask-answering spoons today, I'm so sorry for the delay. This is the kind of ask I look at and say "I will answer it when I can elaborate and write a good answer" and then... I don't. So here goes "answering the thing even if its not perfect". Progress!
My three favorite Austen ships...
Top of the list, Emma x Knightley. I just love the raw honesty and trust of their relationship, that sense of being loved despite one's faults, the soul warming sense of being known and accepted. Perfection.
Marianne x Brandon. Yes! Controversy begins! I know, I know, the execution of it in the novel on a explicit level is not great, but... A) It is a Surprised By JoyTM love, a love that comes for both after all hope of a second spring seemed lost to them. B) relating personally to the plot for some life experience I won't elaborate on. C) These two are so much alike on a fundamental level when it comes to basic temperament, romanticism and life experience, that they GET each other. Brandon understands Marianne's romantic and intense heart... because he was like that once. He understands her grief, because he suffered the same kind of grief before. And viceversa. It's just beautiful
Third... this should be a split between Wentworth x Anne and Catherine x Tilney... but let's go with the former because I'm 27 this year and I'm celebrating Anne and her second youth. Reasons? Actually more or less the same as for the other two. The second chance at love. A second spring for the characters. A sense of being seen and beeing known and loved and accepted.
Less liked ships...
Fanny x Edmund. This has nothing to do with shipping Henry x Fanny and all to do with my thinking the whole point of the novel is that the heroine is being failed by the people around her. She gets the prize of what she wants, but not of what would have helped her grow. Edmund "could have been" her ideal match, Henry *could have been* her ideal match, but both fall short (one far more than the other, of course) because of the failures of their respective educations. It's kind of grim and sad.
Frank x Jane. Listen, another case of "Jane deserved better" and "Frank needed a lot of healing and maturing before being thrown unleashed in the company of women". I don't think, like Andrew Davies does, that Frank is a control freak that hates women, but I do think their future would be very rocky.
A third one is very hard to pick.... Does Mr. Collins x Charlotte Lucas count? XD
In reparation for that last blunder, I'll give you my "ships that I wish were canon":
A) The fanon theory that Eleanor Tilney's mr. Laundry List could be colonel Fitzwilliam
B) Mr. Collins x Mary. No, I will not apologize.
C) Tom Bertram x Mary Crawford. I'm not apologizing here either XD
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Hello again :) Your post about army pay is fascinating! Col Fitzwilliam lcouldn’t afford to marry, Col Brandon probably couldn’t have most of his life. We can see how it would be for Lydia/Wickham. I’m curious if you know how that compares to our navy men? Captain Wentworth got, idk prize money? And he could be rich enough to address Anne. Admiral Croft was able to rent out Kellynch. Captain Harville isn’t well off, but Benwick can afford to marry. Is Navy pay any better?
The Navy certainly didn’t have a bought commission system the way the Army did, so their standards of pay and training followed very different tracks. Which is not to say that sailors necessarily made huge money, but the example of Wentworth shows that men of lesser financial means could rise through the ranks with greater ease. (I believe they still had to cover at least some portion of their own costs for uniforms and personal supplies, however.)
Prize-money is another advantage the Navy has for a man looking to make his fortune. While acts of extreme valour could garner a man a promotion in the Army, that’s more like being offered a discount for bravery, rather than capturing a ship from hostile forces and gaining a hefty portion of its value from the authority unto which you deliver it. There’s nothing like a ship for an Army officer to ‘harvest’, in that sense.
So Naval officers with enough prize-money could then live off the interest of that amount as gentlemen, as Wentworth may ultimately end up doing once he leaves the Navy. (And that prize-money is his own, and could fall to his wife even if he goes on to die in active service, unlike the ‘value/cost’ of a commissioned army officer, which only reverts to him as he leaves the Army, alive.) Admiral Croft could have other personal means (from inheritances) as well as his own prize-money, and has only himself and his wife to support. (Perhaps if they had children to raise and educate and see settled into their own careers and marriages with adequate dowries, they wouldn’t have as much income to dispose of in renting so grand a residence as Kellynch Hall?) The Wentworths we can guess to be genteel, but not rich, as both sons have settled on careers which are unglamourous to begin with--as a curate and a poor young sailor--so I don’t imagine Sophy brought much money to her love-match with the Admiral (or Captain Croft as he was then.)
Captain Harville is probably on half-pay, or some sort of pension for his injury (the nature of which is not specific, but we can tell it is somewhat debilitating to his health, necessitating the stay in Lyme for his health, but also noting the cheapness of their lodgings and that they are there in the unfashionable winter season, further cutting down on costs. Benwick likely helps out with the rent, as he is living with them as a kind of sub-let lodger and friend.) Harville likely married despite the precariousness of his fortune as a young naval officer (as Wentworth and Anne had hoped to do eight years ago,) but his injury has now obliged them to live on very reduced means, and without much hope of gaining further advancement and prize-money in active service, his health being as it is. His generous spirit and hospitality is beyond value, however, as it is evident that his fellow Navy-men view him as a sort of brother, and their attachment is strong. Harville has his pride, certainly, but I expect everyone involved knows that men of honour and greater fortune such as Wentworth and Benwick would never stand by if Harville and his family were in truly dire need of some assistance. Benwick himself has only recently risen to have acquired money enough to marry, having had his long engagement with Phoebe Harville, who died some months ago, only just prior to Benwick’s having gained enough prize-money to provide an adequate income. Certainly it’s enough to satisfy Louisa Musgrove--the Musgrove girls don’t seem to have ambitions to marry for anything other than their hearts’ happiness, (though Charles Hayter is certainly not so bad as Mary would have anyone believe, as his position and property at Winthrop are respectable enough, even if they are not elegant enough to suit an Elliot.)
I can’t put my hand to any specific amounts as to what Navy PAY would have been as a regular cash-flow expectation, but certainly it was far easier for an officer to make something more like a fortune one could live off of while there was prize-money to be had in war-time.
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Chapter 9
Further opportunities for observing the tangled mess of feelings were all too frequent. Anne had seen enough of the situation to have an assessment of her own within the next couple of days, but she was too smart to let on at home. She knew it would probably be unsatisfactory to both Charles and Mary, because (as best she could tell) Wentworth favored Louise, but was not actually in love with either of the girls. It was a crush, which for some might (or must) end in a more solid love.
Chuck was obviously less than happy with Hazel’s disinterest, but Hazel did sometimes seemed to be torn between them. She did not appear to be blithely jumping from Chuck to Wentworth without at least a small moral quandary. It was all like a messy romantic comedy, except it was not set in new York, there was no catchy soundtrack, and the chaos was not endearing. Everything was uncomfortably in flux, so it could not be tied up in a bow as a finished product that could be enjoyed and laughed at. Anne wished she could knock all of their heads together, to show them how stupid their actions were, the potential heartache they exposed themselves to with this odd dance of almost-relationships, having many of the benefits but none of the definition. One relief was finding no malicious intent on Cap’s part - he was being an idiot, but he wasn’t being cruel. He had no clue the trouble he was causing, or could cause. As far as he knew, Chuck was a family friend in town for a visit. It never crossed his mind that he was hovering around the Musgroves for Hazel’s sake. He was only at fault for accepting (even welcoming) the attentions of two girls at once - and two sisters at that.
After a brief struggle, Chuck seemed to drop his end of the line. He turned down an invitation to a chili party at the musgroves to spend the weekend with his uncle, and to brush up on his knowledge of goats digestive tracks. After spying the enormous stack of books strewn across the backseat of his car (accompanied by fast food wrappers, laundry, and half-drunk water bottles), Mrs. Musgrove was concerned. With a grave face, she asked her husband if it was possible for a young man to study himself to actual death? Mary’s dearest hope was that his departure signaled a breakup, but Charles was constantly talking about when he would be back. There was now a reason for a vested interest in the Musgrave girls’s love life: Charles and Mary had made a bet. If Wentworth ended up with Hazel, Mary would get her spa trip to Palm Springs. If he chose Louise, and Hazel and Chuck could work things out, the family would go to Disney World (Charle’s top choice for any vacation). Anne couldn’t help but think Chuck was smart to stay away, for a while at least.
One Saturday, when Wentworth and Charles were off at a pickup soccer game, the Musgrove sisters stopped by. Anne and Mary were enjoying a quiet Saturday morning, since the boys had been sent to summer camp that morning. The Musgroves had swung by to see if Mary had any sunscreen (she had five different options, all aluminum-free, most scented like some essential oil). The girls announced that they were going for a hike on a trail about an hour away, and that it was a long hike so they assumed Mary would not want to go when they made their plans. Mary instantly sat up.
“I would love to go! Why does everyone assume I can’t handle a walk?”
“It’s in the hill country,” Hazel warned.
“They’re really almost foothills,” Louise added. “The trail is south west of us, so we’ll be near some of those old battlefields.” It was clear to Anne that Mary’s company was the opposite of what they wanted, but Mary persisted.
“All the better! I love a good long walk this time of year. A good sweat helps let the toxins out.” Anne noted the family’s habit of sharing (and oversharing) everything, including experiences. If there was any event, trip, or good meal, it had to be done together - no matter the almost hilarious inconvenience it caused, or how being together was not always actually desirable or fun. In trying to subtly talk Mary out of going, Anne might as well have been talking to the granite countertops. With Mary being determined to go, Anne thought it to be the best strategy to accept the girl’s more sincere invitation to join them. That way, it wouldn’t be just her when Charles and Wentworth got back - and she might be able to distract Mary enough to keep her somewhat out of the girl’s business. Whatever their long-range plans, Anne had a feeling that exercise was not the main goal. The girls had never shown any interest in physical exertion, since their metabolism would support all the pizza their hearts could desire. Keeping Mary off their backs would take some effort, though - why is it that the people we want to keep at arm’s length always have the sharpest ears? And why is it the people we want to guess our troubles often cannot hear us?
“I can’t imagine why they would think I wouldn’t enjoy a hike,” Mary puffed, as she and Anne made her way up the stairs to change. “Everyone thinks I am some sort of weakling, but they would have actually been disappointed if we had turned them down. They obviously came to see if we would come along. After cutting off the tags, Mary changed into the Fabletics ensemble that Liz had sent her (sponsorship perks). Anne had brought nothing appropriate for working out, so she ended up in jeans, an oversized theater camp t-shirt, and ballet flats.
Just when they were getting ready to hop in the car, Charles and Wentworth pulled into the street. One of their teammates had pulled his hamstring, leaving them with one less player than they needed for a game. They still had plenty of energy, and a desire to spend it. After a driveway shuffle, the Suburban was pulled out, and they all piled in. If Anne had somehow been warned about this turn of events, she would have stayed home. She kept with the group partly out of a (mildly sick) curiosity, and partly because she thought it would have been awkward for her to leave - it was too late now. Once they got to the trail entrance, Anne’s one goal was to stay out of everyone’s way. This was not too difficult; it was a quiet day, and they were one of two groups of walkers at the bottom of the trail. Every now and again they would all skitter to the site to make way for some heavy-duty golf carts (available for rent in the parking lot, for those who wanted to take in the views without the effort). Anne stuck with the back of the group, behind Charles and Mary. Her enjoyment of the situation replied of the situation relied on looking around, and soaking in the small gems nature had left along the trail. Wildflowers, sun shining through the leaves like stained glass, weeds nodding lazily in the breeze. Anne was glad that some of her favorite poets had used summerish terminology in their language. Granted, it was generally to describe young, robust love, but nothing makes an English major happier than a well-crafted metaphor. So Anne used them to occupy her mind in a happyish melancholy way. This distraction was not up to the task when Wentworth was in earshot, however. She could not not strain to catch snatches of his conversations with either Hazel or Louise. Not that anything she heard was earth-shattering, it was all comfortable small talk. He was definitely more interested in what Louise had to say, but then she said more for him to notice than Hazel. It is fascinating how many interests and opinions suddenly spring to life when there is a new romantic object to encourage them. For instance, after everyone had agreed about a dozen times that it was a perfect day for a hike, Wentworth commented that it was a nice day for Sophie and the Admiral to be out and about.
“They mentioned coming this way, and renting a golf cart. I’m sure they are zooming around the hills somewhere, terrorizing all people and vehicles in their path.” The Admiral’s driving skills (or lack thereof) had become notorious. It was an accomplishment for him to get to the end of the week without a new dent in his bumper or hood. Or door. “I don’t know how, but my sister still likes driving with him. She’s probably being tossed into some ditch right now, totally unphased by it.”
“You are exaggerating!” Louise laughed, a little breathless from the hill. “But even if that were exactly true, I would do the same thing in her place.”
“You would not!” Wentworth said teasingly.
“I would! If I loved someone like she loves the Admiral, I would want to always be with him. Nothing would pull us apart - and I would rather be in a ditch with him than safely on the road with someone like them.” Her voice rang through the trees with enthusiasm, and his rose to match it.”
“Really?” Then a little quieter, “I respect you for it.”
After these bursts of admiration, they both got quiet for a while. The group, guided by Hazel and Louise, took a little side-path until they got to the end with a small but nice overlook. To the left, an even bigger hill with a small waterfall running down the side, glinting in the sun. Straight ahead, an open plain (as open as Virginia gets, anyways), and to the right, a small but neat collection of mobile homes. The Musgrove girls and Mary whipped out their phones to redistribute the view as much as the limited 3G coverage would let them, because nothing says #liveauthentic like a hike and a waterfall.
“Isn’t that the Winthrop Trailer Park?” Charles asked. “Where Chuck’s uncle lives?”
“I think we should go back now,” Mary said suddenly. “I am super tired, it must’ve been those pancakes this morning. Anne had carefully made them without gluten, dairy, processed sugar, or joy - she was certain the pancakes were not the cause of Mary’s sudden fatigue. Hazel, self-conscious and embarrassed at the whole situation (welcome to the club, Hazel), was ready to go back with Mary. Charles turned to Hazel.
“You just posted that photo with a location, didn’t you?” Suddenly realizing what she had done, Hazel nodded regretfully.
“Chuck is going to see we were this close, and didn’t stop. He’ll think we are really rude, and he’d be right. We have to go down and at least say hello. You might could rest in the AC for a while, Mary.” Mary doubled down, displaying the full might of a passive-aggressive person who has been put in a corner.
“Getting back up that hill will do me much more harm than any air conditioning will help me.” After a little more pushing, she outright declared her refusal. A series of mini-debates between almost every combination in the group, led to the decision that Hazel and Charles would walk down to Winthrop, while the rest enjoyed the view. Once Hazel and Charles were safely down the hill, Mary turned to Wentworth and said,
“It’s not very nice having these connections. I’ve never visited Winthrop once.” She did not get a response, except for a fake smile. As he turned away, he gave her a contemptuous glance, which Anne understood perfectly.
There was a short stone wall at the crest of the hill, dividing the nature walk from the field and private property. Mary claimed a comfortable enough perch on it, and was content to be there as long as she was surrounded by people. When Louise and Wentworth went off to find the brook they could hear somewhere nearby, Mary started to shift around. Once they were all the way out of sight, the seat became unbearable. She was sure Louise had found a better one, probably in the shade. Anne hopped over the wall, and tried to show Mary the dry seat there. It even had back support thanks to the stones, but Mary would not be deterred from going to find Louise, and rob her of her seat. Anne, who was actually tired and developing blisters courtesy of her ballet flats, let her go. She settled in and exhaled, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the wall. Shortly after Mary disappeared, she heard Wentworth and Louise’s voices slowly making their way back. The first thing she heard was Louise in the middle of an explanation.
“So I talked her into going. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being scared off from visiting Winthrop because some people are snobby about trailer parks, or rural people for that matter. I would never let someone else's opinion keep me from doing something I set out to do. When I’ve made up my mind, I’ve made up my mind. And Hazel seemed like she wanted to wander this way this morning to see Chuck - but she was going to just give up because it was the path of least resistance.”
“She never would’ve gone down the hill, if you hadn’t convinced her?”
“I’m afraid so,” Louise affirmed his suspicions with a saddened sigh.
“Well, it was a good thing for her you were here. I guessed that more was going on this afternoon than a visit to a college friend. But what will happen to Hazel when there is a more serious issue, and she meets with conflict? Your sister is a nice girl, but you are more determined, and driven. You need to infuse her with as much of your own strength as you can - you will not always be around to help her fight for her own best interest. But I’m sure you two just being around each other will help it rub off. It is the worst characteristic of a person to be too impressionable, too indecisive. You can’t count on a person like that, because their choices are only as sure as the people that surround them. If you, Louise Andrea Musgrove, would still be beautiful and happy in your later years, you should prize the strength of your mind.” He was finished, and Louise did not reply for a while. It would have surprised Anne if Louise could respond at a moment’s notice to a speech like that, grand sweeping words spoken so earnestly. She could vividly imagine the rush Louise was feeling. Without realizing it, Anne had curled herself up, making herself small as possible. Now she was quiet, scared to even breath for fear of giving herself away. They moved on, still talking. The discussion took a turn for the less impassioned, but still significant: family gossip.
“Mary is nice enough, but she just gets under my skin sometimes. Someone gave her an extra dose of the Elliot Pride, which can be so irritating!. We all wish Charles had ended up with Anne instead.” There was a thunderous pause.
“Anne and Charles dated?” Wentworth asked with a tinge of disbelief in his voice.
“Oh, yeah! They only went out for a month or so, thought.”
“I’m not sure - Hazel and I were younger at the time, but I think it happened a year or two before he and Mary started dating. I just wish it had worked out. We all would have liked to have Anne in the family much more! Mom and Dad both think it was Mrs. Russell’s fault that it didn’t happen. Charles was not studious enough for her, so she talked Anne into calling it off.” They moved away, while Anne’s emotions kept her frozen. She wished the ground would swallow her up. She could see how he would think of her now - but there had also been just enough curiosity in his voice when asking about her that caused a renewal of the unrest in her mind. As soon as she could convince her limbs to move, she went and found Mary, who Louise and Wentworth had shrewdly skirted.
Soon enough the whole group was back together again, and Anne could relax into the solitude and anonymity of getting lost in the shuffle. Charles and Hazel came back with Chuck in tow. Anne could not tell exactly what had happened, but it appeared that there had been enough give and take for them to work things out. Although a little sheepish, they were definitely happy to be together. Being energized by more than a downhill walk, they walked in step well ahead of their friends. All signs now pointed to Louise and Wentworth. It looked like Charles was going to win his trip to Disney World, after all. When the pod of people had to thin out to let someone pass, they still stuck together - even when the other side of the path was not required, they were paired up. After a while, everyone was walking in couplets. Chuck and Hazel, chattering in reconciled bliss. Wentworth and Louise, seemingly oblivious to whatever else was going on. Mary and Charles trying to freeze each other out, and Anne stumbling along with her own thoughts. Once they got back to the main trail, there a wide creek dividing them from a paved path for the more direct course to hillside views. After a cheery clatter and booming,
“Oops! Sorry, Sophie!” the Crofts appeared on the other side of the creek. Recognizing their friends, they all stopped and called across the water. Hearing the miles they had already walked and knowing there was another mile and a half to go, they offered the seat on the back to any of the girls who wanted to cut the walk short.
“We are headed straight to Uppercross after this, we could drive any of you home.” The offer was general, and was generally declined. The Musgrove girls were not tired (certainly not enough to abandon a potential date). Mary was offended, either because she was not asked before all the others, or because yet another person had assumed she was a bad hiker, or because she couldn’t be left out of a party. Probably a mix of all of them. They were all starting to walk again, and the Admiral to careen off. Stepping quickly across a couple of stones, Wentworth crossed the creek in a couple of leaps. He caught up to the golf cart, and said something inaudible to his sister. The cart backed up, and Sophie cupped her hands to her mouth to make a megaphone.
“Anne, I’m sure you’re tired after a busy week! Come over and join us! Please?” Anne was still solidly on the trail, and although she instinctively wanted to turn them down, her protests were cut short by the Admiral adding his kind insistence. Without a word, Wentworth crossed to the middle of the creek, and held out his hand to help her across. When their eyes met for a split second, she thought, ‘Oh, my poor heart’. It wasn’t a tears-rushing, Niagara Falls kind of moment, but one of an old wound being split apart, the pain familiar and manageable but somehow deeper. He steadied her as she teetered across, only letting go when she was safely on the other bank. Despite the Croft’s words and waves, she knew that it was him putting her on the back of the cart. She could only explain it as him seeing her getting worn down in her city shoes, and trying to give her rest. She couldn’t shake the view of his thoughts toward her that his small act provided. This brief moment was the interpretive key to all of their interactions since he came back. She understood him now. He could not find it in himself to forgive her, but this did not mean he was numb to her. Even though he condemned her for her past actions, even though he still held an unfair level of resentment, even though he was on the brink of another relationship, even though he did not let the thought of her impact his daily plans, he still could not see her in pain without wanting to give her relief. From the instant he held out his hand, in a way that was equally unexplainable and sure, she just knew. Two people do not spend a year learning to understand each other without having some instincts and intuition left over, just like you don’t forget the story of your favorite character when you have lost the tattered copy of your favorite book. Similarly, you don’t spend so long caring about a person without having some fragments of it embedded in your soul, even years later. His actions were the last remains of the old feelings, an impulse of pure (but unacknowledged) friendship. It was proof of his warm and ultimately kind heart, which she could not think of without a pounding simultaneous feeling of pleasure and pride in him, and pain for herself. She wasn’t sure which emotion outweighed the other.
She answered her new companions automatically, at first. They were five minutes down the road before anything they said started to sink in. Once she awoke from her reverie, she found they were talking of “Frederick”. Amused as she was by the awful name, she was uneasy with the subject.
“He certainly intends to settle with one of those two girls, Sophie,” the Admiral said over the hum of the engine. “But there is no telling which one. Honestly, I can’t tell them apart. But he wouldn’t be making a hovercraft out of himself if he wasn’t interested in one of them. If there was a war going on, he would’ve made up his mind already. Nothing like being faced with your own mortality to help with big life decisions. How quickly did you and I meet and get married, Sophie? I know it was months, not this years-long process that is so popular now.”
“I think we’d better not disclose that,” Sophie laughed. “Anne would not believe we are actually happy together. She’ll think this was a shotgun wedding!” The Admiral grinned and patted his wife’s knee affectionately. He should not have taken a hand off the steering wheel. They were in danger of running into the creek when Sophie leaned over and coolly gave the steering wheel a gentle tug. Once they were back on course, the Admiral said,
“I just wish Frederick would make up his mind, and bring one of them back to Kellynch to visit us, once we’re back. They’re sweet, they’re funny - they would make excellent company!”
“They’re both very nice,” was Sophie’s less enthusiastic endorsement, which made Anne venture a guess that her more keen eye had seen enough to think neither girl was quite good enough for her brother. “And the family is sweet as well. He could do much worse - oooh, Stephen, look out for that post!” Another quick correction on Sophie’s part, and the post got to live another day. Anne watched and even laughed a little at this collaborative style of driving. She thought this was probably how they managed life together, with Sophie’s judicious adjustments keeping them out of the metaphorical ditch. Being around the Crofts without her family or Wentworth made her realize how much she genuinely got along with them. She found she could be herself easily around both of them. With Sophie’s broad travels and cultural studies, they did not run out of things to talk about. As they drove home, Anne bathed in the warmth of having someone to talk to with common interests and opinions. She had gone so long in her current state, she had forgotten that she was lonely. Having someone want to hear what she had to say, and even hold an intelligent, enjoyable discussion made her remember a missing piece. As she watched the rows of pine trees fly by the car window, she thought that she and Sophie would have been friends regardless of any relationship to Wentworth - and she wondered if the friendship would have grown more if she had never met him.
I thought about alternately titling this installment ‘something mildly pleasant finally happens to Anne’. I have many feelings about this chapter, and this book in general.
Chapter 10: http://bit.ly/2uB6Mo4
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