#and he just took those theories and copy and pasted and slightly edited them when it came to girls

[cheemsitz]

As a psychology major, I can say and firmly believe that Freud is so stupid. He'd be so close to getting it, then boom. He's back to saying stupid ass shit.

[canvas-the-florist]

Two Halves Make a Whole

Ship(s): Romantic Logince, Background Platonic Moxiety, Platonic Dukeceit, Creativitwins (they’re all friends okay I make the rules)

Warnings: Swearing, blood mention and mutilation of meat, alcohol mention, NSFW mention (not that much just like… saying someone had sex in a sentence), food mention, possible second hand embarrassment

Summary: The thing about idioms is that Logan has a hard time understanding them metaphorically, and tends to stick with the more logical reasons. Which can be confusing to the others when he starts calling Roman his “other half”. (Thank you to @hteragram-x for letting me use their post as inspiration <3)

Word Count: ~2.7k

-

   They had just finished up recording a video. Something about accepting trauma and accepting that you’re allowed to move on from it. Thomas went up to his room for a nap while Patton walked over to sit by Virgil on the stairs. Roman wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders with a big smile. “You did so well, Pocket Protector! Not as well as me but I’m sure you’ll catch up soon!”

   Logan rolled his eyes and moved out from under Roman’s arm and crossed his. “Thanks. You were… adequate as well. Despite messing up a three sentence line five times.”

   Roman let out a loud scoff attracting the attention of Patton and Virgil. Patton covered up a laugh with a cough that wasn’t very convincing. “It was a very difficult line, Logan! How dare you accuse Creativity of messing up!”

   “Did Princey mess up another line?” Virgil asked from his place on the stairs. Patton punched his arm, muttering that it was rude. “I’m just asking a question, Pops. I’m not intending to be mean.”

   “Virgil!” Roman was red in the face with embarrassment and turned back to Logan who had a small smile. Roman’s face softened slightly over his little giggle before remembering he was supposed to be upset. “Logan you sicked Virgil on me!”

   “I do not believe that Virgil is sick. If he is, we should attend to that immediately.”

   “That was an expression, Alan Boring.” Roman corrected. “Do you want me to add a vocab card?”

   “Yes, thank you.” Roman gave a thumbs up and sunk out. Logan walked over to the remaining sides. “Well, my other half is working on that I believe we should cover what to do to keep Thomas healthy during the editing process for the video.”

   Virgil fell down a step causing Patton to fall to the ground completely. Virgil coughed and moved back up while Logan just looked confused. “Your other half?”

   “Yes?” Logan pulled out a vocab card. “There is a theory that the brain is composed of two parts, logic and creativity. Two halves making a whole person. While this is not factual I thought the idiom would work with Roman and myself. Is that not correct?”

   “Logan-” Virgil started but Patton cut him off.

   “That’s really sweet that you’re picking up nicknames like Roman and I! I’m sure that Roman would appreciate it. Too bad he wasn’t here to see or understand your quip.”

   At this point Roman showed up with about three index cards in his hands. He walked over to the others staring at his cards as he moved. “Okay so I made the card but then I got distracted and doodled on these ones but I think they turned out okay. So, I want Patton’s validation on- Wait are you guys talking about the schedule without me? Rude.”

   “My apologies, Roman, we haven't covered anything important yet as I had to explain a joke but I would like your contributions to this conversation as well.” Logan gave a smile and Roman tightened his grip on the cards. “Are you going to hand me the card, Roman?”

   “Oh yeah, here you go.” Roman had a crush and didn’t want to do shit about it.

   The talk took awhile. Especially after Janus and Remus joined which was just chaos disguised as two sides. But that wasn’t the only chaos afoot! A few hours after the meeting and a lot hours past when Thomas should have been asleep, Virgil walked to Patton’s room, knocking on the door softly. Worried that he was too quiet he was about to knock again when the door swung open. Virgil quickly backed up to avoid accidentally punching Thomas’s morality.

   “Uh, hey Patton. Can we talk?” He asked, now fidgeting with his hands.

   Patton gave a concerned look but nodded and moved out of the way to let Virgil in. He closed the door and turned to Virgil with a comforting smile. “You seem nervous, kiddo. Why don’t you hold one of those plushies? That usually helps me.”

   He grabbed a bean filled one that looked like a tiny elephant without a mouth and beads for eyes. Virgil tossed it in between his hands for a few moments while Patton sat down across from him. “I’m just going to get into it before I talk myself out of it. Why didn’t you tell Logan about him using a pet name for Roman?”

   Patton blinked before smiling. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. Well, that’s an easy one Virgil! I think that this will be good for Logan. Using nicknames is something that an emotional side would do. This might be his way of opening up.”

   “Are… Are you sure? This seems more like… Deceit’s thing.”

   “Well, his name is Janus, Virgil and we don’t see eye to eye but I think that Logan becoming honest with his emotions is a good thing. You don’t agree and you can tell him if you want. I won’t take that from you. Just consider it.”

   Virgil held the elephant up to his face and sighed. He pulled up his legs so he was able to rest his chin on his knees. “I guess it would be embarrassing to know you’ve been using a word with romantic connotations without knowing it…” He made direct eye contact with Patton who was listening to what Virgil had to say. “You think this is going to be good for him?” He nodded and Virgil dropped his legs back to the ground. “Okay, we won’t tell him. I’ll tell him if he asks but if you think this is the right thing to do, I trust you.”

   “Thank you, Virgil.”

-

   Janus, Roman, Logan, and Patton were having a picnic in the imagination. Virgil and Remus decided not to go for separate reasons. Virgil mumbled something unintelligible and hissed at Janus before sinking out quickly while Remus was busy painting over a copy of Vincient Van Gogh’s “Two Rats” with what seemed to be blended pork rinds and blood. Janus had a cup of wine, Patton had a capri-sun, Roman had a lemonade, and Logan just had water. They were having a… civil conversation on whether 100 lions or 100 pokemon would win in a fight.

   “Bitch you know that pokemon would win!” Roman yelled pointing at Janus dramatically, who was nursing his wine. “They have magic powers! Lions are just animals!”

   Janus took a sip and let out a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Pokemon are over glorified rats at most.”

   “Why do they have to fight at all?” Patton asked, pretending not to enjoy Janus and Roman having a conversation that wouldn’t end in tears. He was genuinely upset about the fighting even if it meant two of his friends were finally interacting. “Couldn’t they just be friends?”

   “Do I have to be the one to point out that pokemon don’t exist?”

   Roman stuck out his tongue and picked up his glass again. “It’s the principle of the thing.”

   “Very well, if my other half says so. The lions would win.” Logan reached for an orange slice calmly as Janus raised an eyebrow. Roman was so offended by Logan’s side of the story that he didn’t even notice Patton trying not to choke on his drink.

   “Oh so you’re on the Lying King’s side?”

   “Lions hunt in a group and as I understand pokemon they fight one at a time in a turn based system. For a fight the lions would have a higher advantage.” Logan put the slice in his mouth while Roman narrowed his eyes.

   “What about legendaries?!”

   The fight continued for thirty minutes and Patton decided that the picnic was over. Janus came back to the dark side and hung up his cape in his room. He turned to Remus. “How did the painting go?”

   “Oh just wonderful, the entrails made a smiley face! Look!” Remus held up the canvas too close to Janus’s face. He took a step back and looked it over. If it wasn’t covered in guts it did look rather intriguing and interesting to look at. Janus clapped his hands together.

   “It looks amazing, Remus. Better than the original!” Janus wasn’t lying (for once) because it was just a shitty thing to do when someone is asking for feedback on art.

   “Thanks Jan! How’d the orgy with the light sides and my brother go?”

   Janus shrugged. “Just detestable. The sandwiches lacked but I did find out some information. Were you aware that your brother and Logic are dating?”

   Remus put his hands to his cheeks with an over dramatic gasp. “You’re telling me that little Roman is boning the nerd?! This is the best thing that’s happened since radiation poisoning!”

   “Yeah, I agree. So, want to watch Into the Woods?”

   “Is that even a question dipshit?!”

-

   Roman, Remus, and Logan were going over the storyboards for the next Sanders Sides. Creativities and Logic. It was going well, and Roman was feeling confident that it was going to be fun, even if they definitely weren’t getting it out on time. Logan got up and stretched.

“We’ve been working for two hours and 37 minutes we should take a break. I will bring us snacks. Do you want anything?”

   “Strawberries.”

   “No thanks I brought my own.”

   “Okay, strawberries for my other half and an empty glass for Remus.”

   “Thanks Logan!” Roman hadn’t taken his eyes off the notes, scanning for any discrepancies or something that could be done better while Remus looked over his shoulder taking a bite of deodorant. They stayed in silence for a second before Roman felt Remus staring at him and finally looked up. “What?”

   “So how long have you and Logie-Poo been having sex?”

   “I… what? We’re not- Why would you assume that???” Roman’s face went red and looked incredulously at his brother.

   “Jan-Jan told me that you and Logan have been ‘dating’ two weeks ago. And he just called you ‘his other half’ like a gay person. Are you not…” Remus made a lewd gesture with his hands.

   “No! We’re not… Wait… his other half? Did, did Logan really call me that?”

   “Wow! You’re really oblivious!”

   “Umm, shut up!” Roman’s face turned red as he hid it in his hands, completely flustered and unsure how to react to the situation. Had Logan been hitting on him for two weeks? Had it been longer than that? Remus laughed at him and hit his back. Roman rolled his eyes and sat back up. “What should I even do about this? I’m kind of tempted just to hide this in the back of my head for five years or some sort of grand gesture… Those are romantic, right?”

   “Or you could just make out with him! Well, consensually.” Roman punched him and Remus just kept giggling. “He HAS been calling you a disgustingly cute pet name for a LONG ASS time, dude… Haha ass…” Remus seemed to space out after that so Roman sunk out and appeared again in the living room. And Logan just so happened to be reading a book on the couch. Roman blushed again and cleared his throat.

   “Logan I need to talk to you.”

   He raised an eyebrow, closing his book after putting in a bookmark. Roman’s fist clenched around his sash to calm his nerves. “You wouldn’t NEED to talk to me for any reason so I’m going to assume you mean that you have some information to convey to me?”

   “I… umm, yeah.” Roman took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Why… Why have you been calling me your ‘Other Half’?” He leaned his head back and tried to calm down. He’s had a crush on Logan for a while and there was a sliver of a chance it might be reciprocated. Roman kind of felt like crying.

   “Oh, that?” Logan took a deep breath in and smiled, not that Roman could see. “Well, there’s an incorrect theory about the right and left hemispheres of the brain being logic and creativity. Therefore, you would be my other half.”

   Roman didn’t look at Logan, trying not to feel too disappointed. “That makes sense. Thanks for telling me, Logan. I’ll see you later…” His hand dropped to his side and he got ready to sink out, focusing only on his breathing. He made eye contact with Logan to see genuine confusion on his face. Roman gave a smile and began sinking out-

   “Roman wait!” He stopped. Logan had stood up and ran up to him. “Is that not what you wanted? I’m going to be direct because this is confusing to me but… Roman do you reciprocate romantic feelings for me? Because I really want to date you!”

   He didn’t respond immediately. Roman searched Logan’s face and he seemed to be meaning this. The passion on his face almost made Roman melt. He nodded slightly and decided for the first and only time to take Remus’s advice. Roman leaned towards Logan, grabbing his tie, and kissed him.

-

  The sides were hanging out in the kitchen while they were all working together to make a fam-ILY dinner. Virgil was tapping his foot nervously while vaguely listening to whatever Remus was ranting about. Patton and Janus were putting together the ingredients for a vegetable pie (excluding carrots of course) while Logan was making orange juice. Roman sat on the counter bantering with Janus. He laughed loudly and boldly, wiping a tear from his eye when his snake friend made a particularly bad pun.

   “Roman, my other half, would you please pass over the raspberries?” Logan asked easily. Virgil grumbled nervously, looking over at Patton, who was in a flour-based food fight with Remus. He sighed loudly and walked over Logan, finally cracking.

   He breathed in, ringing his hands. “Logan you’ve been calling Roman a pet name this entire time! The left brain right brain thing isn’t why people say my other half! I’m sorry for not telling you but Patton said to!”

   Roman and Logan looked at each other before looking back at Virgil. Roman quietly handed the raspberries to Logan before giving a soft smile. “Didn’t you know? Logan and I have been together, Storm cloud. It’s been a pet name this entire time.” Janus snickered to himself while putting the pie in but decided not to say anything.

   “You have?” Virgil asked.

   Logan nodded. “Yes, Virgil. Roman and I are indeed in a romantic relationship. Now, we’re going to set the table. Grab the plates?”

   Virgil stayed speechless, frozen in the kitchen until he got hit on his shoulder with flour. Roman got out the forks and walked to the table while Logan continued stirring the orange juice concentrate. After the pie finished, Patton helped serve everyone. Virgil stayed silent, with his forehead leaning on the table in shame. Eventually he started joining the conversation, ignoring his own embarrassment.

   When everyone finished up dinner. Logan volunteered to wash the dishes and Roman was the slowest to put away the food, leaving the two of them alone in the kitchen. Roman gave Logan a hug from the back.

   “Your adorable, Logan.”

   “It’s ‘you’re’, Roman.” He corrected calmly, cleaning off a plate.

   “What? How did you- never mind. You ARE adorable, Logan. Even when you’re acting like a smartass.” Logan chuckled and twisted back to face Roman. He wrapped his arms around Roman to make it a full hug. “This is nice. I’m glad we’re dating.”

   “Even when I’m a smart ass, like you said.”

   “Even then.”

Taglist: @bullet-tothefeels @logan-sanders-enthusiast @local-art-cryptid @lizzy-lineart @jasmine-loves @justanonymous @enby-wizard @openthedoorplease @crossiantgay @meowthefluffy @as-the-stars-foretold @sablesides @thedukeofdeodorant-main

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Take me to your river

A/N: Okay. So this is my first time writing for this fandom and honestly I’m actually really worried about it. It’s a huge fandom so I hope its received well. Anyway, it has been ages since I’ve posted but I have been so busy its ridiculous, but I had this idea and I had to write. I know that the tenses are slightly mixed up through this, please bare with me, I’m overloaded right now.

Title: Leon Bridges - River

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: (Set in the year of Prisoner of Azkaban, so I’m taking a guess at 1993/1994) You’ve left the wizarding world, barely had contact for over ten years. Then Sirius Black breaks out of Azkaban.

Requested: No.

Warnings: none, I don't think. 

Word count: 2.5k.

It had been thirteen years.

Thirteen years since you had last seen the man you loved.

Twelve years since he was put away for a crime he didn’t commit. You knew that, you knew that deep down in your very being. That that day in the street, it was not Sirius who killed the muggles and Peter.

But you didn’t speak up. It would do no good. The Ministry of Magic had signed his death warrant – life in Azkaban until he died of insanity or the Dementor’s performed their kiss.

Sitting in your kitchen, the sunlight filters in through the window and you relish the slight warmth. It had been thirteen years since you had slept properly.

You and Sirius had been together through it all. He had asked you out on a Hogsmeade weekend, and you didn’t say no – how could you? You had been crushing on him since Third Year. He was your first for everything; first kiss, first relationship. Together, you had sat your O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.Ts. Sirius being your rock through the constant growing stress you put yourself under. (Looking back, you can’t help but chuckle, if your past-self had any idea of what your future would look like you would not have put in so much effort with your exams.) You had also been there for Sirius when he was disowned by his family and went to live with James and his family. James’ mother accepting you as one of her own as well. You two had danced together at James and Lily’s wedding, had waited anxiously for news of their baby and had cried when asked to be godparents of tiny Harry James Potter.

However, you were left alone to cry over their graves after that tragic night in Godric’s Hollow.

Shaking yourself awake, you take a long drink of your coffee and stretch your limbs, willing some life into them. The sun had completely risen now, and it was almost time to start your day. After what happened in 1981, you somewhat shunned all wizarding society, you left it not even a year later. Instead, isolating yourself to a tiny village in Yorkshire. People in Yorkshire kept themselves to themselves and your neighbours didn’t ask a lot of questions. The only one of the Marauders to visit was Remus, he didn’t visit often, but it was nice when he did.

One of your last remaining contacts with the wizarding world was your subscription to the Daily Prophetnewspaper. It was this subscription that brought you to your predicament. Slapped across the front page: Escape from Azkaban and there, in the centre, a picture of the man you thought you had an eternity with. Sirius Black.

Tears threaten to fall as you continue to stare at the moving picture. He’s screaming and screaming, and it physically hurts you to look at. But it’s the first time you’ve seen him in thirteen years. Any memories of Hogwarts and the Marauders were safely locked away in a trunk in your attic; waiting for a time when it doesn’t hurt so much to remember. You don’t think that that time will be coming soon, however, especially now with news of Black’s escape.

The article reported that out of protection, Azkaban’s guards the Dementors would be placed at Hogwarts. You had to take a minute when you read that little bit, James and Lily’s son would be at Hogwarts now, he would be entering his third year. You could only hope that the Dementors would not attach themselves to him. But you doubted it, he had already seen so much at such a young age. It would be likely that they would. You prayed he would be safe; Remus had contacted you over the summer to tell you that he had been appointed a teacher at Hogwarts – he didn’t have to tell you that he would look after Harry; it would be in his nature. Remus was more than his wolf.

Shaking your head, you rid yourself of anymore thoughts of Black and his escape, if you stared at his mugshot any longer you felt as if you would go as insane as the new article was painting him to be. It would only trigger your anxiety and that wasn’t happening today. Instead, you leave the kitchen entirely, depositing the Daily Prophet in the bin as you go. You head towards your office where you can begin your workday. You had settled well within the Muggle world; when you had arrived in Yorkshire you had no idea on what you could do and what you wanted to do. That was your one caveat with the wizarding world, it was so alienated from the rest of the world because they expect all witches and wizards to remain there – it does not cater for those that want to leave. So, once you had settled the business of finding somewhere to live, you set out to make your house your home. To do this, you virtually ransacked a charity shop of their furniture and of a second-hand computer sat gathering dust in the corner.

It was not the old computer that you used now, but rather a newer one. One you had treated yourself to with the profits of your last bestseller. After you had settled, and you needed something to do, you simply started writing. Your genres ranged from fantasy, all the way to romance. As the computer started up, you took a moment to look at you copies of your books on the shelves, and you felt happy. This was your life now, and you were completely fine with it. The last thing you needed was something coming in to mess up the balance you had created.

-time skip-

Months had gone by and whilst you had met the deadline for your next book, and it was currently going through its editing stage, you had religiously kept up with the news of Sirius Black and his escape.

Every sighting, every theory. You read each and every one of them. You had even gone so far as to send a message to Remus at Hogwarts, but he reassured you quickly enough that everything was fine and that you had no need to worry.

So you let yourself relax for a bit, enjoying putting the finishing touches upon your next novel. Christmas had come and gone without an issue; spending the festive season on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, watching Muggle Christmas films. In all your years in the Muggle world, your favourite Christmas film would have to be The Muppets Christmas Carol. It never failed to make you feel Christmassy.

Winter melted into Spring, and you started working outside more. You spent the early days of March travelling the country to bookstores to promote the release of your new novel. Remaining as tight-lipped as always when asked about your inspiration for this book.

The weeks were slipping away, and you were celebrating the fact that one of your books had been bought by a film company. Your version of celebration meant no work for the evening, and your new favourite TV show that you had recorded, ER. A recent TV medical drama set in a hospital in America; you were hooked from the very first episode, particularly drawn to the young Dr. John Carter.

It was through this particular TV show that there was a knock at your door.

You paused the show, uncertain as to what you heard.

Another knock sounded throughout your house. And some part of you just knew.

Throwing the blanket off you, you head towards the front door. A third knock rang at your door and you knew you couldn’t keep him waiting any longer.

Unlocking the door, you opened it and stood before you was him.

Stood before you, after thirteen years, was Sirius Black.

You take him in. Your eyes raking over every single inch of him, to his greasy hair to his too-skinny body. You stand there, not quite sure what to do. It isn’t every day that the man you have loved for over two decades is stood on your doorstep after escaping from a heavily guarded prison.

He utters the first word, “Darling.”

You take a couple of breaths before answering, “Sirius.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Thirteen years, if I’m correct.”

“Too long.”

“I don’t think the situation could be helped, Sirius.”

He laughs, and asks, “Can I come in? I haven’t had a roof over my head for a couple of weeks.”

Somewhat still in shock, you move aside for him to enter. You close the door behind him before gesturing to the living room. He follows you in and sits down. You stand in the doorway, uncertain of what to do next. You never expected for him to find you but found you he has and now everything is up in the air.

Sirius is watching you; he’s calculating every possibility. He never imagined he’d get through the front door and now he’s in your living room watching you have an internal panic over what to do next.

Then all of a sudden, you say, “Tea! Tea makes everything better. You can solve everything over a cup of tea.”

Then you’re off. Heading into the kitchen where Sirius can hear the kettle starting to boil and mugs being slammed onto counters.

“Everything okay in there?” He asks, even though he knows it isn’t and she just needs a minute to collect herself and her thoughts.

“Of course! Everything is fine!” You shout back pouring the now boiled water into the mugs. Your mind is whizzing through every possibility as to how he found you. You had never hidden yourself away, but you were never open about where you were living. You prayed that Remus hadn’t given you away, knowing how close he and Sirius was through Hogwarts.

Walking back through to the living room, you hand a mug to Sirius warning him that it would be hot before sitting down in your spot where ER was still on pause. You turned the TV off, knowing that you would not be watching it tonight. You can’t help but look at him, seeing how he has aged after a decade spent in Azkaban.

“Don’t you want to know how I did it?”

“Of course I do, but it isn’t my place to ask such things.”

“I used my Animagus form to get out of that hellhole and then swam the rest of the way. I would have come to you sooner, but I needed to go north. I had to see him.”

“How is he? What does he look like now?”

Sirius smiles wistfully, “He is the spitting image of James. But he has Lily’s eyes. And he’s got a group of friends and they are as close as the Marauders were. He’s doing okay.”

You close your eyes at that, as if a deep wound within you had finally healed. Harry was doing okay, he had friends and he had settled at Hogwarts.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” You start. “I never believed a word anybody said, and after you were gone, I couldn’t live in that world anymore. So I moved here.” You gesture to your house.

Sirius looks slightly taken aback by what you’ve said. For over a decade, he hadn’t let himself think of you, he hadn’t let himself dream of you. And now he was at on your couch and you had just admitted to missing him too. He only hoped that you had no-one else in your life. He may be an escaped prisoner, but for over ten years he has loved no-one else but you. There would be no-one for him, but you. You were his true north, he could only hope he remained yours. Sirius didn't realise, however, that you had done the same. closed that part of you off, the part of you that belonged to Sirius - for the first two years in the Muggle world, you could barely think of him without feeling as if your heart had been broken all over again. 

Taking a sip of his tea, he asks, “What have you been doing for all this time?” He has to know.

You look down at your mug, wrapping your hands tighter around it as if willing the warmth to seep into your bones, to help you relax. “Not a lot. I moved here not long after James and Lily and I haven’t left since. I’m an author now, I love it. It wasn’t the path I had chosen for myself when I was leaving Hogwarts, but I love it all the same, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m happy here, Sirius, in my little Yorkshire village with my mugs of Yorkshire tea, and my books.”

Sirius smiles weakly, he has to ask you, he has to know. “Has there been anyone else?”

“No, there hasn’t.”

For the time in twelve years, Sirius lets himself hope. He lets it bloom in his chest. He can only pray that your feelings haven’t changed.

“What are you going to do now, Sirius?”

“I don’t truly know,” he admits, “I could go to London, to Grimmauld Place where I know Remus will join me. There isn’t a lot I can do, I’m an escaped convict.”

“No shit.”

He barks a laugh at that. It’s the first bit of humour all night, and it helps to relieve some of the tension in the room.

He knows he needs to tell you, but he doesn’t know the right time. Everything is so delicate, so fragile, one wrong move and everything he could ever dream for could be lost within seconds. But he has to do it.

So he does.

“I still love you.”

You drop your mug of tea. It doesn’t smash, but your lovely rug is stained for life with tea. At least you won’t forget this moment, you think to yourself.

“You what?”

“I still love you,” he repeats.

“After everything?”

“After everything. It was us next to get married after Lily and James. I had the ring, and I was working up the nerve to ask you. Then everything happened and I couldn’t. Then I was taken away and any hope I had that I would see you or hold you ever again was crushed. It is astounding how quick a life planned can veer off course. I’m not saying we should get back together, I would like that, but I am nowhere near mentally, emotionally or physically ready for one and I don’t think you’re the type to jump into relationships either. What I’m trying to say is that I’d like to give the Muggle life a go, I need to rest and your life sounds so peaceful.”

You take a minute to digest everything that Sirius has said to you. You debate everything internally, but you know that your heart will win. And win it does.

“Okay. The Muggle life isn’t so bad, it’s done me well for this long. Let’s see how it works for you.”

“You’re serious?”

“I am. I have a spare room for you, we can sort everything else out tomorrow. But for now, lets get ready for bed. It isn’t every day that the man I’ve loved for almost twenty years comes knocking on my door.”

“I like the sound of that,” Sirius says as you stand up, holding out your hand to him. He grasps it tightly in his own. “I like the sound of that very much.”

[find-the-eyes]

I’ll Try Anything Once: Chapter 16

Written by: ss, Sol Edited by: Allegra

Alex and Nick were spending a quiet Thursday night at their flat. Alex was sitting on the couch on his laptop while Nick laid in the guest bed with Steckrübe, just relaxing and thinking. After the amazing experience he had had at their first band practice the day before, Nick felt energized for the first time in a very long while. He pulled out his dusty school supplies from the bottom of his bag and opened one of the music theory books.

Nick slowly peeled open the sticky pages of the music theory book. He almost winced from guilt, realizing how much of the school year he had missed due to his time spent in the abandoned prison. I earned this education, I should be taking advantage of it, Nick sighed to himself. He had become re-energized by the jam session the day before, and wanted to return to his classes so he could learn more.

That newly rekindled enthusiasm, he had found, was quickly diminished as he opened to the first chapter of the book. He understood the letters, but not the words. He couldn’t even get past the chapter opener. The As and the Os and the Es danced across the page, none of the words making any sense at all. Nick bit his lip in concentration, his brows now deeply furrowed. He reread the bold titles on the top of the page. As he kept trying to comprehend what the letters were telling him, he grew more and more frustrated. As Nick was preparing to shut his book and never open it again, a noise in the hallway interrupted him.

From his slightly ajar bedroom door he saw Alex walking to his—no, their—kitchen. The gears in Nick’s head were whirring— slowly, but whirring nonetheless. He stood in the doorway, trying to decide if he should approach Alex or not. Nick saw a chance when Alex finally sat back down on the couch with a cup of tea.

“Hey,” Alex greeted first. He moved his legs away to make room for Nick to sit with him. Nick sat down gingerly, not wanting to sit too close to Alex, despite their nightly cuddles.

“I want to study,” Nick said in a faint voice.

“Oh? That’s great!” Alex replied happily.

“Yeah, um,” Nick looked down, fingers idly rubbing the edges of his copy of Alfred’s Essentials. “I don’t really...I can’t...”

Alex waited patiently for Nick to finish his sentence. Nick’s already faint voice was faltering.

“I can’t… read.”

“Not at all?”

“Not very well. It’s hard for me.”

“Oh,” was all that Alex said. He was silent for a moment before bluntly asking Nick the question that had immediately popped into his head. “How did you get through school?”

“I tried. Very hard.” Nick was still looking down. “Barely made it.” It had always taken him a great amount of time to finish all of his work, and ever since he enrolled to a university that was more practice rather than theory he hadn’t done much reading. To top it off, the increasing stress he’d been experiencing lately didn’t help at all. He took a deep breath before finally asking Alex the big question. “Can you read it to me?”

“Of course!” Alex eagerly responded. Nick lifted his gaze to meet Alex’s, feeling hopeful about his studies once more. Alex took the book from Nick’s lap, scanning the cover.

“Alright, let’s study some music theory.” Alex closed his laptop and set it down on the coffee table. Nick tried to make himself comfortable by hugging a pillow and folding his legs up. His grip on the pillow tightened as he tried to contain his excitement over the fact that Alex was kind enough to read to him. Alex cleared his throat before he read aloud.

“Lesson one, The Staff, Notes, and Pitches.”

Oh, so that’s what it says, Nick thought to himself.

“Music is written on a staff of five lines and the four spaces in bet—”

Nick raised his voice. “I know.” Alex abruptly stopped, a bit surprised that the usually quiet Nick had cut him off. “I know about the staff.”

Alex nodded. “Alright...we can go ahead to the next chapter, then?” Nick nodded in response. After flipping several pages Alex started again.

“Note values—”

“Maybe not that one,” Nick interjected again. Alex stopped midway through his sentence, his mouth hanging open. He was slightly amused at how different Nick was acting when it came to music.

“You already know about this one?” Alex asked again. Nick nodded. Alex was not an expert in music theory, but he knew the basics. He went back to the table of contents page, his finger skimming through the chapter titles, trying to look for something that didn’t sound familiar. “Alright, how about Time Signatures?”

Nick shook his head.

“Is that a No, I Don’t Know or a No, I Already Know?”

Nick looked a bit puzzled at Alex’s question, wide blue eyes looking up in thought, before finally answering, “No, I Already Know.”

“Okay...How about Repeat Signs?” When Nick finally nodded, Alex almost cheered in relief. As Alex flipped the pages to the Repeat Signs chapter he said, “You know so much already, Nick, you almost don’t need to study.”

“I still want to..” Nick replied quietly, secretly happy at the comment Alex had made. He tried to hide his smile behind the pillow he was hugging. He hugged it even tighter when he noticed Alex scooting closer to him.

“Here, let’s look at it together.” Alex had put the book on his lap, slightly angling it towards Nick. When their shoulders pressed together, Nick held his breath. Alex didn’t seem to notice as he started to read again. “Two dots placed before the double bar indicates a Repeat Sign...”

As Alex read more to him, Nick started to feel more at ease. His voice was soothing to hear and the warmth radiating from their close proximity made Nick comfortable. His mind wandered back to their cuddling sessions again, which made Nick yearn for them. But he felt like making Alex read to him for the night had been enough, so he settled on hugging the pillow tightly, desperately wishing it was the man beside him.

“Are you going back to class tomorrow?” Alex asked after he finished the chapter and shut the book.

Nick nodded, looking up at Alex.

“Is that alright? You haven’t been to class in a while...will you be okay on your own?”

Nick only chewed his bottom lip in response. Alex had a point, but he was dead set on continuing his education. He nodded, “I’ll try.”

Alex smiled. “I’ll walk with you, if you want.” Nick’s face brightened and he nodded again.

“Maybe you should talk to your professors about your situation and explain that you don’t act like this because you’re on drugs or something.” Alex suggested, leaning back against the couch.

“Act like…” Nick needed a clarification.

“You know...hiding from people. Not answering when you’re spoken to. Compulsively stealing. Not being able to read. I’m just saying, it’s a little weird, you know?”

Nick winced at Alex’s blunt comment. Without saying a word he suddenly dropped the pillow down and got up from the couch. He grabbed his book from Alex’s lap and retreated back to his room, Steckrübe following close behind him.

Alex stared on in shock. It took a moment for him to register what had happened - what he had said. Even though he was used to Nick’s unavailability during active conversations, the sudden absence really caught him off guard. Alex wondered if his words were taken too seriously.

-

His words were heard. And Nick took them to heart. The next morning, Alex made good on his promise to walk Nick to class. Nick hadn’t said a word to Alex all morning and had barely even made eye contact with him. Alex found this unusual. Nick was normally quiet and not very expressive, so it was often hard to discern how he was feeling - but something felt off. Even though several possible reasons about his friend’s odd behavior were thrown around in Alex’s mind, never once did he think that it was his comment that caused Nick to behave differently.

“Call if you need anything, alright?” Alex still managed to give Nick a smile as they reached the entrance, thinking that things would eventually go back to normal. Nick nodded, looking a bit paler than usual and a tad more shaky. “You’re going to be just fine,” Alex reassured Nick before watching him disappear through the door. I hope.

Alex met up with Bob midway during his walk and they continued along their path to school together. Bob was unusually quiet that morning as well, seemingly only focused on his steps to school. Alex didn’t know if he was just still iffy from the way Nick behaved or everyone seemed to be off today, but he tried not to think of it any further. As they entered their life drawing class, they were greeted by someone familiar but definitely not appreciated.

“Your hot model friend didn’t come along this time?” Dino leaned against the door frame, his hand firmly on a pocket of his jacket which was, in fact, wiggling. Bob tried not to cringe.

“Leave your rat at home, you creep.” Alex didn’t mean to snap, but perhaps the not so positive atmosphere was starting to rub off on him.

“Rats,” Dino corrected him as he put his free hand on his other pocket.

Alex tried to ignore Dino instead, not wanting to foul the unfavorable mood already, and pulled Bob closer to him. As they walked past Dino, Alex muttered under his breath, “God, I’m so glad it’s only rats in those pockets.”

Bob grimaced. “I’m just glad it’s actual rats and he’s not referring to something else.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

As they sat down in their seats, Bob looked up at Alex, thinking about how he had kissed him the other day. Alex didn’t seem to mind it; actually, he seemed to be a bit more affectionate with him because of it, judging by how Alex had pulled Bob close when they tried to avoid Dino. It was a simple gesture, but it had made Bob’s heart thump. Bob’s fingers twitched. He wished that he could draw Alex for the class, examining his sharp jawline and brilliant blue-green eyes.

“I think I have to go pick Nick up after class,” Alex sighed, breaking the silence and what seem to be Bob’s train of thought. The rose tinted glass had slowly faded away.

“Oh, he’s back in school now?”

“Yeah, he went back today. I just don’t want him running back to the abandoned prison or hiding somewhere new. I don’t think he’s too comfortable in my flat yet.”

Bob nodded nonchalantly, but on the inside, the love he felt for Alex disappeared just as fast as it had bloomed just a few moments ago. There was something in its way, and that something was Nick. The jealousy from the other day reared its ugly head again. In the spur of the moment, he decided he had to distract Alex from saying anything more about him, and distract himself from his feelings for Alex.

“That Dino guy, though…” Bob laughed to himself.

“Oh, yeah, what happened with him and Paul?”

“Went out. Apparently… did some shit. Funny business.” Bob kept his eyes down, embarrassed about the subject matter.

Alex laughed and nearly slammed his head on the desk. “Aw, come on, you’re an adult, you can say they had sex.”

Bob chuckled softly, but winced inside. The thought of Paul being intimate with someone who wasn’t him suddenly made him want to curl up in a ball and hide. Topped off with the fact that it was very clear that Alex truly cared about Nick, Bob wished the ground would swallow him completely.

“Paul hated it,” Bob added. “He never wants to see Dino again, I think.” The jealousy had gripped him tightly now, controlling his words before he could even stop it. Bob didn’t even know if that was the truth, but he hoped it was.  

“Does he?” Alex considered. Bob nodded, fingers crossed that Paul really did dislike Dino’s sexual advances. “That’s good to hear,” Alex added. He immediately paused to himself, surprised at how smug he was knowing that his friend had a horrible date. Alex tried to excuse it with the fact that Dino was a shady guy, but put in perspective he actually felt bad that Paul might not have had a good time.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until class started. Bob’s urge to draw Alex was still strong. As he drew the model for that day, he snuck glances at Alex and traced out his face shape on the next page. If Alex was fine with a kiss, why wouldn’t he like to be drawn in Bob’s sketchbook? Bob finally dropped his attention from the model and began sketching Alex instead. Bob was so focused on trying to replicate his definition of a beautiful man in his sketchbook that he didn’t realize that class had ended, and as soon as he packed up his things, Alex placed a firm hand on his shoulder and dragged him away immediately. He felt his heart beginning to race as Alex tightly held his hand.

“Alex, what are we hurrying for?” Bob asked quietly. Alex only shushed him as they rounded a corner and ducked behind a doorway. They watched as Dino passed by, not even looking their way. Hopefully, he just didn’t notice them.

“Okay, Dino’s gone. Let’s go.” Bob only nodded at Alex’s explanation. He was a bit disappointed that it was merely just to avoid Dino, but Bob noted the way Alex’s grip still lingered.

“Want to come with me to get Nick? Maybe we could all go to lunch after,” Alex suggested, still holding Bob’s shoulder as they hid behind the doorway.

“No, thanks,” Bob said softly, wanting Alex to be all his and not wanting to see Nick until the next jam session.

“Why’s that?”

“Paul’s home and I want to see him,” Bob made up an excuse.

“You could just invite him to lunch?”

“Oh, no, I have a giant project due tomorrow for my…” Bob hesitated, “environmentally conscious sculpting class.”

“That sounds… interesting. See you tomorrow, then?” Alex let go of Bob’s shoulder. Bob almost regretted making that excuse, as he immediately yearned for Alex’s touch. But he did what he had to do.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow,” Bob said to Alex, who had turned his back to Bob and was walking towards the music school before Bob could even finish.

[implexadyth]

How the PLL Finale Retroactively Ruined the Show

This was honestly the most baffling series finale I have ever seen, and that includes (yes, really) the finale to How I Met Your Mother. Let me break it down for you, and explain exactly why it is so mind-bogglingly terrible.

 ~From opening credits to the 40-minute mark: random filler dream sequences, pointless cameos, and fan-fiction lip service smut, the latter of which might have made sense if they hadn’t inserted about fifty sex scenes into the previous two episodes as well. 

Then came what was arguably the best scene of the episode, Twincer mimicking Spencer as she wakes up in her high-tech underground bunker, complete with fake atmosphere and nature, built in a year under the entire town of Rosewood via a single entrance below a private house by contractors who didn’t care about bylaws, zoning restrictions, or the need to provide silent heavy machinery that can be condensed into the size of a doorframe to be reconstructed inside Toby’s house in order to complete their job. Awesome! I thought that was a neat way to introduce the twincer concept, with the mirror imaging. My optimism for the episode rises slightly.

The Spencer-twin theory was the one I was predicting would be brought to the table, so I was gratified to be correct. I’d seen interviews with I. Marlene King where she said she’d read correct theories online, and I’ve read (and constructed!) some very complex ones that would have tied together most of the series, so at this point, my impatience brought on by the complete waste of my time creating a 2-hour finale was dissolving.

Oh man, was I in for it! BLIMEY!

               I’m entirely baffled by the rest of the finale, save for Mona’s ending, which was hilarious if not completely logical (let’s be honest, we all suspend our logic somewhat when watching this show. We have to.) But the A.D. reveal? The only explanation for the way they built Alex Drake’s backstory is that somehow they deliberately conceived of a character whose existence could create an explanation for 90% of the plotholes of the entire 7 seasons, give the show a deeper meaning, and give reason to the fact that multiple random people seem to want to torture a specific handful of (admittedly thoughtless and sometimes downright idiotic) suburban highschoolers-turned-grownups in a game of Pass The Torture Baton ….and then said, hey, fuck it! That’d be too easy; let’s actually go to MORE effort to give her a backstory that not only has raging plotholes of its own, but retroactively ruins the CeCe reveal (which was culturally insensitive in and of itself, but let’s not even go there).

How does this retroactively ruin the CeCe reveal, you ask? Not sure why you would, but let’s indulge. If CeCe was having this sisterly relationship with Alex since she left for France, which was canonically taking place after the girls killed Shana in New York, then why was CeCe’s obsession with Alison? Alison, homecoming queen, must reconcile with my sister Alison! Pictures of Alison all over my lairs, and the dollhouse is so I can bring a homecoming for my sister Alison, and I’m going to leave lots of clues about my origins with the DiLaurentis family. Except I already found a true sister in Europe, and my other actual biological sister is Spencer, but fuck her, because for some reason, the Hastings are TERRIBLE PEOPLE, Alex, just trust me (*cough cough* pot, kettle, black *cough cough*).

Aside from the fact that I don’t understand why Charlotte would have a particular vendetta against Spencer, at least enough to tell Alex that she needs to stay away from her, the timeline also makes no sense. If, as Alex says, Wren and Melissa were already broken up by the time she met him, which was obviously before she met Charlotte, since he introduced them, then the scene with Hanna and Melissa in London makes no sense. How could Hanna run into Melissa in London DURING the five-year time jump, with them conversing about how Melissa and Wren recently broke up, if they were already broken up for good before the dollhouse episodes occurred?

Of course, this is only one of many, many gaping holes (phrasing) in this incredibly condensed half-finale reveal. Many people have said, “it’s Pretty Little Liars! Stop thinking it through so much.” And I’m like, “yes, hello 2017, I realize that suspending disbelief and lowering your standards below ground level are basically a necessity for this brave new world, but somehow I still manage to press on with it.”

The reason that these lackluster explanations are so infuriating is two-fold. First, the show has historically managed to weave complex concepts and suspenseful plotlines, while dropping hints that are obscure and yet indicate the potential that the overall conclusion of the show could redeem the many failings it has. Second, and most importantly, it actually quite literally would have been EASIER to use the twin theory to retroactively explain the overall arc of the show in a satisfying way. At the moment that Alex says goodbye to Charlotte as she returns to the US and says she never saw her alive again, my friend and I paused the show (thank god I downloaded this illegally, I can’t imagine how I would have felt if I’d paid to watch that episode), and looked at each other in disbelief. Don’t worry, past self! It’ll only get more horrifyingly, entertainingly bad.

With the exception of episode 7x19, the entire seventh season was filler, and not even good filler. I convinced myself that it was because they were building up to a dramatic, shocking and satisfying finale. I also told myself I wasn’t going to be too optimistic, but clearly I was in serious, life-threatening denial. After suffering through an entire year consisting of 9 filler episodes and a lot of waiting, the entire deductive process of the main characters discovering A.D.’s identity can be summed up in two lines of dialogue (paraphrased): 

Toby: “you guys! A horse and Jenna told me Spencer isn’t herself! Also she gave me a book! She’s a twin, she’s evil! We have to get her!” 

Everyone else: “uhhh hang on we were engaging in illegal and grossly inappropriate investigation of our friends’ credit card statements and GPS tracking because he was mean and left our other friend at the altar! P.S. I still don’t understand why people always want to torture us! A twin, you say? TWINS RUN IN THEIR FAMILY! Say no more! Let’s hurry and get there before we run out of time in this finale, I swear there was a reason it was two hours long.”

I actually calculated the time that this scene took, and it was exactly one minute. From Toby arriving and spewing nonsense about Spencer’s book when they were asking about Ezra’s whereabouts, to them just accepting what wasn’t even presented as a theory, but a statement of fact based on the testimony of one of their sworn enemies, and a horse (this is so ridiculous, it bears repeating). Literally 60 effing seconds. I’m so glad they stayed true to the fans by indulging in their enjoyment of the process, of the deduction and clues that led to their discovery of villains or potential villains over the years.

Still not convinced? This isn’t enough lead-up? Don’t change the channel! Just wait! There’s more! We’ve got the most exhausted TV trope in history, the “which twin is the evil twin? Let’s ask a question only the REAL Spencer Hastings would know! Better hope the twin never read the book that she knew her doppelganger loved so much, despite the fact that she clearly spent months or years studying her as to effectively mimic her and be able to regurgitate specific bits of knowledge from her life or memories by rote, and also knew to give you the book in the first place. But oh wait, she didn’t even bother to make sure her copy looked like the original, so somehow she is omniscient and yet also lacks a keen eye for detail simultaneously.”

Mona’s ending was clever and satisfying, aside from the fact that they painted Mary Drake as an insane-yet-still-protective mother to Spencer, but then we were supposed to be happy about her eternal torture and misery at the hands of another mentally ill person. Aside from all the incredibly offensive lessons we’ve been taught by PLL about mental health issues, the Mona ending was somewhat fulfilling, and had they ended the finale there, I might have upgraded my evaluation of this episode from 0.0003/10 to 0.0005/10. But no, they had a group of the most awkward and untalented pre-teens regurgitate the exact script from the beginning of the pilot, a move so bewilderingly stupid, I don’t even understand how the executives gave this thing the green light. Who are these people, and why are they getting paid exponentially higher salaries than I am? What is most confusing about this is that I watched an interview with I. Marlene King where she was bursting with pride about this “full-circle moment” and couldn’t wait to reveal it to the fans. Did she actually watch the final edit of this thing? The only part of this that feels full-circle is the way it resembles a dog chasing its tail. Pointless, self-serving, and humorous in the most ridiculous way.

The most entertaining part of this entire experience is that they spent 7 years teaching their fans how to use social media and technology to harass people who have wronged them, and then completed their run by creating an ending that would instil the same emotions into those people. Good luck with that! (N.B.: I do not endorse this in any way. I mean that truly; you deserve better than to waste any more time or effort on this show, or anyone who had a hand in crafting that ending).

               Personally, I’ll end this with my relatively simplistic alternate explanation/ending that would have circumvented all of this bullshit, then sigh a breath of relief at the catharsis that is walking away from all those wasted hours of my life. As an aside, I hope Troian Bellisario goes on to bigger and better things – her accent wasn’t great, but her acting was fantastic. You were the sole saving grace of this episode. In the meantime, I recommend to anyone who hasn’t watched the finale yet: pretend that 7x19 is the last episode, for your own sake. It has a decent ending, and while it doesn’t answer most of your questions, it doesn’t retroactively ruin the entire 7 seasons preceding it, either.

How it Actually Should Have Ended

-          “I’m your twin! Alex Drake!” *Spencer gasps in shock*.

-          “How is this possible?” The fans ask.

-          She tells her story:

-          I was adopted from Radley, but given back because by the time I could form memories, I was already too much of a rascal! I was raised in Radley under the name Bethany Young, and Alison lured me from the Sanitarium with the intention to kill me out of jealousy. I can make plans too, though! I convinced another patient with blond hair to come with me, and put her in the clothes Jessica gave me. She was buried by Melissa, who thought she was Alison. The same person who switched Alison’s dental records did the same for me, and also I found out my real name is Alex Drake. From then on, I was obsessed with getting revenge with not only Alison for plotting to kill me, but also the girls who let her get away with being such an abysmal person. As a bonus, one of them is my twin sister who had the luck of being born a minute before me, and therefore got a fabulously privileged life, while most of mine was spent in Radley. So I enlisted Mona and then Charlotte, whom I discovered to be my sister during my investigation of my family tree (and was lucky enough to be cooped up in Radley too! Double score on the background connections!) to help me get revenge on those I perceived to be the source of my own misery in life.

-          No? Too easy? I guess we’ll just have to insert a time-travelling paradox of a backstory to explain my existence, because otherwise our executive producer would have to actually re-watch some of the episodes before writing this finale. And that would be way, way too much work (considering the pittance I’m sure she’s paid) to create the ending to a show whose premise is the unraveling of a mystery. It’s okay, the show was insanely popular enough to give her more work in the future, no matter how badly she cratered the one episode that could have made the whole thing brilliant.