#and honestly this is the funniest way they could've handled it

[semi-sketchy]

They're wild for this

[sanjifucker42069]

Hit Me? Sanji x Reader

Word count: about 1.2k 

Bro….the dodgeball game…sanji is so stupid, pathetic wet cat of a man coded...I wanted to throttle him. I want to hit this man with my 2003 ford prius yoda style. I want to chew on him like a squeaky toy

Warnings: fem!reader, heavy handed teasing, you wanna make sanji cry apparently, VERY SUGGESTIVE, use of the word cock lol, semi-nsfw, no fucking tho…unless? 👀👀👀 sanji might be semi ooc, I am obsessed with the idea of a reader that sanji doesn't have the usual chivalry towards?? Like bless him he'd try, but you're just such a shit.

“Why yeah it'd be my pleasure ma'am, you can hit me wherever you like!”

Oh. Now wasn't that intriguing?

-----

Sanji sulked on the sidelines, fiddling with a lightly crumpled cigarette. Taking pity on him you sat down next to him. Sanji shot you a lazy grin, one that didn't quite reach his eyes. You smiled back, lightly pushing his shoulder.

“I should be mad at you, you could cost us the match.” You joked. Sanji grumbled, his words unintelligible. He could barely make out that ‘you wouldn't understand’ and ‘that he was weak okay!’

You laughed, eyes turning back to watch the match in front of you. You didn't feel too defeated, you trusted your captain. 

“It's okay Ji. I don't think anyone could've gotten out faster than I did! You still did good!”

Sanji turned to you, hearts dancing in his eyes. “And who would dare throw balls at such beauty?! A lovely lady such as yourself shouldn't have even had to partake in such a barbaric display.”

“You saying I can't handle some balls? I happen to be very good at handling them.” You teased. The result was instantaneous, Sanji biting back a perverted laugh, a cute blush on his cheeks.

“Oh angel, really? I didn't expect you to be so saucy.”

There were many things that were undeniably true about you; You were in no way one of the stronger straw hats, you loved a good dirty joke, and you loved nothing more than making your little love cook squirm. If Sanji wanted to pretend all women were angels capable of no wrong, well, who were you to take advantage of that?

You feigned innocence, even cocking your head. “What do you mean? I didn't drop it once.”  

Sanji squirmed, avoiding your gaze. You wanted to crack and snort loudly at his cute face. Instead you pursed your lips in thought.

“Love! I…uh-” he cut off when you couldn't hold it in anymore, a raucous laugh escaping you. He watched you slap your knee like it was the funniest thing in the world. He pouted. “(Name) that's not fair.”

“Oh relax, you big baby.” You cooed. 

A steady silence resumed between you two, watching the match with bated breath. Things weren't looking so good. As the enemies advanced on Zoro, Chopper, and Luffy, so did you with your own attack.

“So.” You began. Sanji hummed in acknowledgement, eyes focused on the field. You paused. Was this really the time to flirt with the man? Probably not, but you were nothing if not an opportunist. You grinned at him, exaggerating his swooning.

“It'd be my pleasure ma'am, you can hit me wherever you like, hmm?”

‘You were a lady!’ Sanji reminded himself, trying to bite back a growl. You just loved to get under his skin, didn't you? He was flushed in embarrassment. It's not like he wanted to lose the match! It's not his fault he had a weakness for pretty women! 

The crowd was aroar, you could hear your crew shouting. Oh. Zoro was out. Sanji began yelling at the swordsman, before he turned his attention back to you.

“So?” Sanji tried to sound unaffected. Your cute giggles reached his ears. Seriously! You were such a little tease, so cute, but so unattainable. You seemed to love riling him up, and he wanted nothing more than to make you his. He wasn't used to women not only reciprocating, but flirting back at a rate that made him dizzy. 

Honestly, the both of you needed to stop being cowards and just confess already.

“Who's the ‘saucy’ one now? You're out here parading your little masochist streak.”

“I am not!” He blustered.

“Where were you hoping they'd hit anyway?” You purred out the question. Sanji tried ignoring you, focusing on the match, but he was one man! One currently very weak man.

You pouted. “I was just joking, Ji. Your kinks are your own. I'm not here to shame you for it.”

“It's not a kink!” He argued. You were relishing this. Sanji was always such a gentleman, so giving and dedicated to worshipping women. And yet, you, you were one of the only women you'd ever seen him snap at and lose his cool with, his hot temper getting the better of him.

Taking advantage of this you leant closer, your thighs touching. Sanji snapped out of his anger, eyes darting to where your half naked leg pressed against his long suit trouser-clad one. Too caught up in where you were touching him, he didn't notice how close your lips were to his ear.

“So you wouldn't like it if that pretty Porche lady pelted you with those dodgeballs? Or tied you up? Or manhandled you to make you be a good boy?”

Sanji was sweating, his heart eyes betraying him. Yeah, you knew your chef. You dropped your voice lower, bracing one hand on his chest.

“Forget hitting, what if she stepped on you? Would you like that, Sanji?”

The man in question whined, quiet pants escaped him, his eyes swirling with lust. He let his eyes fall closed, the dodgeball match long forgotten. Bingo! You felt yourself grow wet. Yes, you were a bad guy! It's just so easy to rile him up. Besides, Sanji would never spare you a passing glance, clear that you annoyed him. So what was the harm in airing out your frustrations like this?

“Love.” He gulped, shuffling around to change how he sat. You grinned at him wickedly. His reactions were so cute, you definitely overstepped the line.

“You didn't answer the question, cook. What if she stepped on your cock, hmm? Only lightly, of course, wouldn't wanna damage the goods.”

Sanji made a noise halfway between a groan and a choking sound, his hand darting up to grab the one you had pressed against his chest. You startled. You could see it in his eyes, the disgust, that unmistakable look of discomfort. Of course he wouldn't want to discuss this kind of stuff with you! You were one of the guys!

“Shit.” You withdrew your hand, not noticing how Sanji's tried to grab you. You'd definitely overstepped the line! “I'm so sorry Sanji, that was completely uncalled for.”

“Love.” He rasped. You were flustered, trying desperately not to stare at him.

The crowd was aroar, people around you jumping and shouting. You looked for a way out. 

Wait? What the fuck?

A brown ball of fluff was lying crumpled on the court lines. 

“Chopper! Oh shit!” You yelled, hurriedly getting to your feet. “Sanji I'm so sorry, I- you can yell at me about this later, I promise.” 

Sanji watched you speed off, hurriedly running to their youngest member. He sighed out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. You were going to be the death of him! You'd made him so hard, so quick, and then, like a true tease dashed off before he could properly engage anything. When would you realise that it was you he wanted to treat him like that?

Later? 

Yeah. Yeah he could yell about it later. 

Right now, he needed a fucking smoke and a cold shower.

-----------

Looks like lingerie part 3 is coming i promise ;-; I'm just having trouble writing it ;-; here's a little drabble instead I do have SOOOOO many drabbles I've worked on in the mean time though?

[arledrone]

I would say I send you patience and strength but boy am I at my fucking limit with how these tls actually handle everything else, like hornton? i can take it its cute and i will use it against anyone who hates it for sheer spite. The wack ass lingo's that been used? yeah that too because when you think about it, it makes sense bc technically speaking they arent from our world and TWST wonderland's worldbuilding has always been one step backwards and two steps forward kinda thing bc of the way there world works (modern enough but not as modern as ours since they still have magic which slows their process I think) Cater not being honest about his sisters also makes sense because i'd like to think that he just honestly wants people to leave him and his family life alone so yeah.

BUT EVERYTHING ELSE???? Sebek and Silver of all people not calling Malleus with his appropriate title?? etc. etc.?? BOY am I going to need to sit down and drink bc fucking hell the MISCHARACTERIZATION WILL FUCKING KILL ME.

Anyways, I hope you'll manage... to hang on.... somehow... lots of love anon <3

The "Hornton" was never meant to sound like a "good" nickname anyway. "Tsunotaro" is genuinely a silly little nickname so "Hornton" works just fine.

I wouldn't call it "whack ass lingo/slang" though. It's a majority of AAVE. But it's either used in unfitting situations or just not used properly at all. Cater of course being the biggest offender in the localisation, a lot of it feels forced/unnatural. But I get kinda 'ehhhh' seeing people call it 'cringey' JUST because it's AAVE. It's definitely overused and poorly handled though. IDK how to put it that's about it.

I think the TWST world is plenty modern tho. They have airplanes, phones, social media, etc. Plus it's established normal education and occupations exist, it's not like magic replaced everything. The only place it's genuinely predominant is Briar Valley.

The sisters thing with Cater is odd. Like it's made clear he says he's the "only brother" in his family. The "no siblings" thing is weird but I can see it as Cater being his usual swerve the topic self, but I feel like they could've just kept it at "brothers" and call it a day. Idia and Floyd I've seen a lot of comments on as well. But as far as Idia goes he's literally always been Just An Insufferable Redditor. Floyd saying "Yeet" is funny and that's about as much as I have to say bc I don't care enough for Octavinelle to investiage their TLs and them mistranslatiing Jade's countdown line is enough of a red flag for more.

It's a weird thing with changing "Doodle Suit" to "Paint the Roses". But IRC Toboso tweeted specifically about the translations for the UMs so???? Whomst knoweths. I know it's a localisation but they're just deadass making more work for themselves at this pointlk j;sdalgkjds.

The Sebek thing is absolutely fucking BONKERS to me.

Also a moment of silence for Rook and Vil. I may want to punt them across the country but them inevitably getting heterosexualised in the localisation is going to be painful. That's whole the point of how Vil changes his manner of speaking in Ghost Marriage. Replacing his 'atashi' with 'boku' and his more 'feminine' speech for talking Like A Straight Guy is the whole joke there.

I haven't dedicated much time to leveling stories, so I can't say a lot about how Scarabia's generally translated. All I know is that i like the "merciful sands" saying and that Jamil saying "that isn't alchemy, it's an atrocity" is the funniest shit. BUT from what I've seen Kalim's localisation is kinda. On the fence for me and the mouse has a gun pointed at him to have him say "oopsie doodles" or whatever the fuck. I understand these are teenagers with their own sayings and whatnot but also it is 2022.

Anyway TL;DR the Ep4 translation is going to be Pain and I Sense It In The Marrow Of Me Bones.

[a34trgv2]

In Defense of The Angry Birds Movie

When it comes to movies based on video games, more often than not they're recieved less than favorable by critics and audiences. The Angry Birds Movie was one of those video game based movies that critics didn't care for and most audiences thought it was okay. I'm of the rare opinion though that this movie is actually a really funny and well written story about why anger is an important and necessary emotion when used correctly. In this post, I'm going to talk about why I really liked Angry Birds in spite of its reputation.

Based on the popular mobile game by Rovio, this film focuses on Red and how he's put down by everyone for his temper. When the pigs lead by King Leonard come and manipulate their way to steal the birds' eggs, Red and his fellow bird companions must band together to get their eggs back before they're served Sunny side up. The film does a good job at showing Red getting rightfully annoyed to the point of violence after one inconvenience after another. This is very much how I often feel on a daily basis and as such I very much relate to Red. The film also takes the time to show what Bird Island is like and how its inhabitants commute. Everything from the birds living in huts to their diet is handled well thanks to very clever visual gags. Speaking of, I found a lot of the jokes to be really funny, including the use of gross out. Normally I'm disgusted by gross out humor, but here they managed to get a laugh out of me because I found their set ups to be quite clever and the punchlines executed brilliantly.

On to the characters beside Red, I found Chuck and Bomb to be both funny and entertaining to watch. Chuck is always on the move, has some of the funniest lines as well as the funniest gags. Bomb is more mellow and a bit dimwitted, but nonetheless funny and caring. Matilda tries her best to maintain her posture, even when Red makes it difficult. Terrence is the strong silent type who normally growls, yet what he lacks in dialogue he more than makes up for in action. Mighty Eagle is a very funny hasbeen that still thinks he's the coolest ever and just about every scene he's in is just so goofy. Then there's Leonard, the big bad pig of the film. Leonard is a very smart swine that plays the long game in gaining the birds' trust by manipulating them and distracting them with parties and gifts. Leonard rules over his pig kingdom with a toothy grin and the upmost confidence, even if his subjects are as dumb as, well pigs.

What truly brings these characters to life is the very stellar voice acting on display. Jason Sudeikis perfectly embodies the cynical and frustrated attitude of Red and makes him sound like a generally easy going guy who's had one too many bad days. Josh Gad really sells the speedy nature of Chuck and makes him sound like he's always in a hurry. Danny McBride really nails Bomb's mellow and dimwitted personality and makes him sound like he could be a good friend if he didn't explode every time he gets excited. Maya Rudolph gave a really fun performance as Matilda, making her sound quirky and zen, yet appears to be one minor inconvenience away from really letting loose. Sean Penn did a really good job providing the grunts and growls for Terence. Sure, anyone of the people involved in the animation or storyboarding department could've done it, but Penn was intentionally chosen by the directors because they felt it'd be a missed opportunity otherwise. Peter Dinklage sells the real showboaty and self-indulgent attitude of Mighty Eagle. Bill Hader makes Leonard sound like a smart and eccentric pig and delivers some funny lines of his own.

The animation is really well crafted and that's thanks to the wonderfully talented people over at Rovio Animation. The character designs were given a significant upgrade from their mobile game counterparts, becoming anthropomorphic bipedal characters with big expressive eyes, fingers and detailed textures. The characters move in a believable and natural way, with Chuck of course being the exception as he's always running and moving in just about every scene he's in. The village and landscapes of Bird and Pig Island are all very well detailed and feel lived in. The animation truly comes alive during the comedic scenes and the action packed climax. Scenes such the open with Red running late, Bomb and Chuck's Mighty Eagle day dreams and Red fighting with an annoying sign are all very well crafted and funny scenes. The climax best showcases the birds powers and as well as bring amazing destruction to the pigs' kingdom.

I should also mention that the score and song choices for the film were all well crafted and incorporated brilliantly. Heitor Pereira did a really good job incorporating the iconic Angry Birds theme music into the score and also provided some great comedic cues. Blake Shelton's song Friends sung by the pigs was a great way to show how the birds were manipulated over the course of a montage. Other notably catchy songs from the soundtrack include Demi Lovato's cover of I Will Survive, Imagine Dragons' On Top of The World and Explode by Charlie XCX.

I do have one problem with the film as a whole though: all the birds on Bird Island are a bunch of mindless sheep. I'll detail my problems with this trope in a later post, but it honestly bothers me that the entire island is against Red. How come there isn't at least one person on this island that sympathizes with Red and his frustrations? Personally, I think there should've been an additional member to Matilda's anger management class, someone's whose been there for years and yet is just as frustrated as Red. And that character, to me should be Stella, the pink bird that has a minor role in the finished film. Stella could be Red's first friend as she would share his frustrations with him, but rather than resort to violence, Stella would pull pranks on her victims. Stella could also go through her own little arc by not going with Red, Chuck and Bomb to Mighty Eagle's cave because she'd rather solve her problems herself rather than ask someone else to do it for her. This culminates in her getting injured during the climax and her asking Red for help, which he does without hesitation.

Overall, I think The Angry Birds Movie is a really good movie with excellent humor, relatable and funny characters, stellar voice acting and very well crafted animation and music. I also really liked the sequel to this film and I hope Rovio and Sony team up again to make another one. See you in the next post ;)

[cherrymoonvol6]

some avengers endgame Thoughts cause i saw the movie yesterday and can't stop thinking about it

of course..... spoilers ahead

nebula and tony playing!!!! i just love how nebula's personality comes through without it being ooc

also... nebula carefully sitting tony up. she Cares so much :(

steve immediately going to tony :( like im a stucky kind of gal but holy shit i love them

which was completely erased in the next scene where tony drags steve up and down and after that passes out, which is a confrontation Mood

i wonder how they made tony look so skinny and sick. if it was cgi then i applaud them cause it looked so good

the way they killed thanos so fucking quickly here... i don't know how to feel lmao. like cutting the gauntlet arm and then slicing his neck... that's what we were all screaming at them during infinity war. it's good to see them learn from their mistakes, i guess ?

(can't remember the order in which things happen from now so forgive me if i make a mistake)

i told my sister "that's one of the russos!!!!!" so it took me ten seconds to realize that the russo was the gay character everyone was talking about (i thought it would be fury for no other reason than it being shocking and fury having very little to do with the plot, but)

and steve being supportive of that :( man out of time said gay rights!

carol's new hair!! holy shit!!!!!

rocket insinuating carol has been experimenting with more hairstyles... i would like to see it

don't think i missed that carol x rhodey nod. i support it.

don't wanna say it now... for now ill just state: i love what they're doing with natasha in the movie. she truly feels like a friend to steve. like that small gesture of her sliding the plate towards steve is just so domestic and beautiful! it really makes her feel so human and complex at the end. i was so worried about her being wasted but i loved her throughout the film

it was a fucking rat who got scott out. i have to laugh.

also is that the guy from that old "gayyyyy" meme????

cassie is all grown up!!!!!! i can't even imagine how hard it had been for her

also what happened to her mom? and the stepdad??? are they fine????? i hope so

i was hoping we would get more tony as a dad in this movie and it delivered!! tony is so fucking good with kids. the bond between him and morgan was so well portrayed

also the place they live in is so cozy and that's what he deserves

when steve stepped down the car in that black outfit with the leather jacket on i gasped... he's fucking gorgeous

i kept wanting him and tony to kiss lmao tf is wrong with me

OKAY my hawkeye rights. i missed him so much

the stylish subtitles on the middle of the screen felt like too much. this isn't a tumblr gifset honey, just write them down!

thinking about the whole clintasha conversation really foreshadows the whole thing. natasha cares so deeply about clint and really puts his needs before hers. it's so beautiful to see

honestly... my clintasha rights!

i think the hulk/bruce scene was kinda endearing but then the ant man banter dragged on for toooo long

the dab i YELLED. these poor kids have to stand this man on 2023 pulling out 2016 trends to appear Hip and Cool

fat thor...... i hate how it was handled. hate it so fucking much.

new asgard! that's so cute. i hope that's on norway

miek and korg are alive!!!!

the thought of thor insulting a possibly 14 year old on fortnight is too much for me. it sounds like bad fanon talk. i still laughed (bc noobmaster69??? that's fucking hilarious)

tonys reaction to i love you 3000 is so beautiful. like the way he looks taken aback and so happy. i love irondad

steve in a white shirt and jeans!!!! i gasped again. he's delivering, the fucking model

i know they were like, barely being decent to each other again, but i still wanted my stony hug:(

when they're discussing their infinity stones memories and natasha and tony are laying down together on a table???? adorable. amazing.

also why tf didn't nebula said the soul stone required a sacrifice??? i thought that's what she got from gamora dying in volmir

as soon as natasha and clint arrived to volmir i began chanting "nonononononononono"

fuckkdjdksndk fucking nebula. cue to more nononono chanting

rhodey knocking out quill with a single hit is the funniest scene in the movie

clintasha calling on bullshit on the sacrifice thing was also quite funny

the forehead touch :((( im so weak! so sad!

clintasha literally fighting each other to be each other's sacrifice!!!! kill me now!!!!

jeez now i can finally say it: scarjo shined so fucking much on this movie!!!! her delivery was amazing, i really felt a connection between her and the avengers, it really showed her growth during the five year time jump. she fucking killed it. she did her best and she's the best black widow we could've ever gotten.

clint mourning her :((((( probably the third time i cried during the movie

thor's panic attack being used for cheap laughs was the most uncomfortable moment for me... or any scene where people only saw thor as Fat and Lazy (basically, two thirds of the movie)

the freya + thor reunion was so sweet though!

okay. okay. hear me out. tony was on a very serious mission to regain an infinity stone. and the first thing he does is check out steve's ass. and aknowledge how glorious it is. i couldn't believe what i was watching!!!!!! like that actually fucking happened. consider me a fully formed stony bitch.

and scott joining in to say it was "america's ass" ???? poetic cinema

so it's canon that everyone checks out steve's ass and appreciates it as a national treasure. that's all i never thought id needed.

steve saying "hail hydra" i YELLED. it was a nice nod to the whole "cap is a nazi" mess

and steve fighting himself... hot

using his bucky trauma to shock himself is :/// but also :((((

i loved that for one moment i knew everyone on the theatre was staring at steve's ass

and steve being appreciative of his own butt!!!! ok that's all i have to say about steve's ass

i loved the reminder that thor was still kinda goofy back in avengers 1, for everyone who says taika completely changed his character. and the little tony + thor moment was adorable

"howard..... potts" i can understand tony being a mess but how did howard not suspect of anything??? elevator lady took one look of steve's face and all of her alarms started ringing

peggy carter... ive missed my wife so much

did peggy marry souza. i hope she did. steve tf are you doing staring at a married woman (jk)

clint kicking the stones away as soon as bruce is done with the snap is the biggest mood

also... the hell was scott looking at that made him think it had worked? just... more birds outside? i was really curious

the irony of the only avenger without superpowers being left with the stones

"i know you" *hands out stones* how can you not love clint, he's so pure

nebula killing his 2014 self is a power move. that would be me if i met my 2014 self

thor with a braided beard!!!!! beautiful

thanos is like, a real threat and i love that

okay. i kinda saw it coming. i saw thor leave mjolnir behind and i thought "oh????". and then the shock of thanos being able to wield stormbreaker. and then fucking mjolnir moving!!!!! i was the only person in the theatre who yelled

but seriously!!!! steve wielding AND fighting with mjolnir!!!!! couldn't stop thinking about it all day!!!!!!!!! STEVE IS WORTHY!!!!!!!

parallels to thor going for the chest. it never works babies!

and just.... this was steve's moment. steve i-can-do-this-all-day rogers really fighting with every ounce of his body and soul against the most powerful being on earth. justice for him getting knocked after touching thanos for one second in iw!

and steve getting up again! all dirty and wounded!! trembling with exhaustuation and resolution!!! with his broken shield on his arm!!!! just him facing the biggest army of the universe!!!!! so powerful

sorry to destroy this epic moment, but like, okay. people had been reintegrated to life like, twenty minutes before. and i understand that they were all confused and out of place. but sam really needed ALL that time to just... try to communicate with steve????? ok

the "avengers..." *brings mjolnir with one hand while bracing his shield with the other* "assemble" moment was... oh my God. chills all over my body.

that One Moment where steve has stormbreaker on his hand... so fucking hot

the tony and peter reunion holy shit. the hug was everything i needed! like please just hug tony stark for ages

and tony and pepper fighting together!!! that's a power couple right there

i felt it when quill looked at gamora and just... stopped. im so sad his moment was played for laughs when it was obviously such an important moment for his character

thanos was so fucking scared of wanda that he put his own troops at risk to stop her for a little while. strongest avenger right there!

and carol coming back!!!! i was like

i felt so relieved at that point. i was like "yeah thanos is fucking over what's next"

no need to talk about all the women coming together to defend peter :')

thanos getting the gauntlet again... the nonono chanting came back

fucking CAROL trying to stop him. looking at him with such a determined face, like "you can't stop me from stopping you". it was so powerful he had to snatch one stone to stop her

and strange giving him the one finger to tony.... i knew what was coming holy shit. i knew it. they knew it.

tony really proved himself there. it was his best scene on the entire mcu, don't argue with me!!!!!! the way he stood there and took all the power of the stones, unmasked, unaffected, powerful and almighty

"i am... iron man" cue to ugly sobbing

tony knew there was no other way. pepper did, too... she knew exactly what she had to tell him. she was right. tony spent all of these years moved by selfishness first, then fear, then guilt. an endless battle since thanos was on his head. but the war was over. what mattered was that he saved everyone, and he sacrificed himself for everyone. a complete 180° from last movie's ending.... wow

gotta said... peter there felt a little bit out of place for me. i think it would've been more powerful if he didn't say anything, though peter is a teenager, i can get it

his arc with steve felt unfinished, too. i would've liked to see steve's reaction as well, since tony had told him he wanted everyone back and also for his family so survive. but whatever

im not against tony killing thanos instead of gamora and nebula but i would've liked if we saw them react to his death, at least:/ like a little parallel between nebula's reaction at the beginning and the end of endgame

the One stucky interaction here was pulled from cap1 and iw. i feel betrayed

bucky Knew what steve was going to do. i wonder if steve told him before or bucky just sensed it

you can't convince me steve would go back and carelessly dance with peggy knowing his friend is being used like a weapon by hydra and bound to kill tonys parents. nah nah. it all felt wrong

my steggy rights!!!

love that the russos foreshadowed cap!bucky on tws just to give the shield to sam at the end

anyways what the fuck bucky was all steve had but he lived the happiest life without it and left him alone on the 21st century? okay fuck y'all