#and how he attributes everything exceptional about himself to his hands bc that's where his deepest insecurities/motivations come from

[cup-o-stars]

Last part for old GF sketches

(Actually, most of these aren't old at all, but their average is brought down by the last picture, which I drew back in August and kept forgetting to post)

[sidsledge]

i think it's really interesting to think about how eugene wasn't raised as a soldier. he wasn't built for war. he has many ancestors who were soldiers, his family's legacy is war – and he was always supposed to be the odd man out. diseased as a child and seen as fragile by his parents. in this response to an ask about eugene wearing a lot more white during his scenes before the war i talked about how it's supposed to represent his innocence. you can attribute a lot of “dove” imagery to eugene's character and whatnot. i think it's crucial the way eugene is presented in the scene where he's telling his father he's gonna go to war whether he likes it or not. this id argue is his most important look in the entirety of the show.

so eugene does end up joining his ancestors. another sledge man marching towards war. he's eager, naive about it. he's barely 21.

i (and many others) have talked at length about what it means to eugene's innocence & "essence" of childhood the impromptu reunion with sid so i won't go into much detail with it except to highlight this scene:

eugene's father has given him a pistol to use during the war. it's symbolic, in a way – sledge sr having been so adamant in keeping eugene from conflict before and all that – and it also marks an interesting point for his character. eugene despite everything i said at the beginning has a history with guns that came from hunting with his father. so it's not like he's a stranger to this or a pacifist by any means. but i think eugene's character development is tied very closely to how he feels about guns, specifically. both rifles and sidearms.

fast forward a bit and by okinawa you have plenty of scenes representing eugene's losing grip on his humanity and the incipient growth of his rage. but it all comes to a head in this particular scene, i think. they drop the shell on the hut and open fire and then it ends – except eugene doesn’t stop. he purposefully foregoes his rifle (less personal, made for longer distances) and takes out his pistol to shoot the last japanese soldier standing. the use of that particular gun is a conscious choice because he doesn't need it. he isn't even supposed to be firing anymore. but his anger towards everything has reached a boiling point and he's deliberately making this personal (as evidenced by the dialogue – “i'd use my goddamn hands if i had to”).

then after a while eugene comes home a changed man, and while edward is boisterous about his time in europe and the army eugene can't stomach it and he says as much – he won't put on a uniform ever again, he doesn't enjoy the fanfare and celebration. there's a real dissonance between how eugene and edward (and sid for that matter) are choosing to deal with the memories of war in episode 10 but that's a thought for another post. anyway, i bring back this particular bit from the original scripts about eugene's feelings regarding his ancestors: i wish they had included this bc i think it's very necessary for his character arc. the military men in his family stare back at him. he understands now. and the fact that he reaches this revelation in the same study where he was told time and time again that he couldn't enlist and where he then made the decision by himself is so very important.

and finally you have the conclusion to all this that comes in the scene where eugene goes hunting with his father one last time – except in this occasion he can't do it. and i think it all comes back to his innocence and the pistol, his own rifle in the marines vs his shotgun at home. it's the act of holding a gun to take life again that breaks eugene down completely. and the fact that they're supposed to be hunting for doves! it's just a perfect way to end his character arc because he's not that person anymore.

(anyway, i hope this made sense to someone. if you read all of it i love u and thank u 🙏🏻)

[13eyond13]

Can we talk about how L and Light are both liars but like in different ways?

L is often lying to other people to gain a certain answer from person's reaction (like when he told Light he was his first ever friend), but he can be honest with himself if necessary. Also I think he was honest during the interaction with Wammy kids while giving his monster speech, bc this scene was implied to be an insight into L's character, so it doesn't make sense for author to make L lie in this scene, i guess? So even if L's childish, he can act mature when necessary (because truth, especially being honest with yourself, requires a degree of maturity)

Light, on the other hand, is lying not only to others, but also to himself. It's like his coping mechanism, and it starts working the moment he realises he's killed to people with Death Note, so instead of admitting it he just makes an excuse and creates this idea of Kira's justice. Basically, creates a safe space when he hasn't done anything wrong, which can be attributed to his desire not to disappoint his father (Idk I can just keep going on and on about this, bc to me Light is a very interesting character)

The thing is, they are identically different and ahhhh i just think it's so beautiful. Idk whether O&O made this intentionally, they probably just wanted to give antagonist and protagonist similar traits so their confrontation would look more interesting, but i see this slight difference between L's and Light's lies and i just wanted to share this

I really like your thoughts about this, anon! I agree with everything you said, and there are lots of interesting things to explore about both of these characters and their complicated relationships to telling lies or telling the truth. I can't picture Light ever telling others that he perceives himself as possessing negative personality traits the way that L does, for example. He always points out the flaws in other people first, and he turns all the problems he is dealing with automatically into being other people's faults. L definitely seems more willing to give himself a break when he is feeling depressed and unmotivated as well, which I can't picture Light doing. I feel like Light's tendency to view himself as exceptional means he feels like he doesn't need or get the same excuses other people have for anything he views as being lazy or foolish or weak. So he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be perfect and to meet the expectations both he and others place on him to always be the best. Whereas maybe L also views himself as exceptional, but in a way where he is allowed to remove himself from the expectations other people place on him altogether, because he believes he doesn't have to abide by the same sort of manners and rules and social obligations that most people do?

Sometimes I feel like L tells himself and others the blunt truth instead of lies as a defense mechanism which allows him to maintain the upper hand in any power struggles as well. Because if he willingly admits he has these personality traits then other people can't say he didn't warn them, or that he wasn't already self aware about it. And they also can't use those accusations against him about his flaws to get him to stop doing whatever he's doing that they don't agree with. 😅 I feel like L would detest other people telling him what to think about his own personality in a constructive criticism sort of way, as though they are "catching him out" on something he hasn't already considered. He definitely isn't the type who is open to receiving feedback from other people about how he should behave. Probably especially if he secretly deems the people trying to tell him things about himself as not equally clever or talented as he is. And above all he always wants to be right and to anticipate things ahead of them arising and catching him offguard. I think that even if bluntly volunteering the truth about himself is his attempt to be upfront with the others and let them understand him better, it can also just as easily be a way to subconsciously emotionally keep them at arm's length. By doing this he is also maybe sort of refusing to let them feel like they understand him in any way that he himself doesn't already understand or accept without considering their feelings or their point of view.

I think that Light has also been raised to be much more constantly considerate of everybody else's expectations and feelings and opinions about him and the importance of taking them into account. So even though he also feels arrogant and above other people he has just learned to become a social chameleon who knows how to effortlessly anticipate what everybody wants from him instead. I feel like he also would detest being told what to think about himself in terms of his flaws, but he avoids ever hearing it from others by subconsciously knowing how to please everybody at once. Whereas L seems to go the other extreme and openly only ever think about pleasing himself. Definitely interesting the way they are both similar and opposite at the same time in so many of these things!

[extravaguk]

santa&prada

part of my opposites attract! series. 

ksj / knj / myg / jhs / kth / jjk

pairing: rich!jimin x reader

summary: Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.

wordcount: 5k

genre: smut - angst(? - fluff (? idk u tell me

rated: m 

warnings: a christmas fic in late november, cursing, a huge misunderstanding lmao, i call jimin ‘park jimin’ too many times bc i felt like it, car sex, oral (f recieving), some good ole spanking, (kinda) rough and unprotected sex, a lil of dirty talk, spit kink. thats about it. just an excuse to write jimin fucking you in a car. jimin is not as bad as oc thinks srsly.

The first time you meet Park Jimin is through mutual friends. On a firday night on December, with white, red and green lights decorating the streets of New York, filled with the typical hustle of the masses doing last minute Christmas shopping, the freezing weather impacting your body temperature, cursing yourself for choosing tights, a skirt and heeled boots that are too pretty but too uncomfortable to wear.

You had never considered yourself a particular enthusiast of Christmas festivities. You guess discovering Santa Claus was, actually, your parents before the rest of the kids in your class was one of the many reasons that made you grow up too soon and therefore, not allowing you to fully enjoy the month of December. Or maybe it had nothing to do with Santa, and more to do with your parents deciding to get a divorce a day before Christmas Eve. A traumatic event for seven year old you, but completely forgotten and overcome by twenty-four year old present you.

Growing up each Christmas suffering the consecuences of a shared custody would have probably had a disastrous effect on anybody else, but not you. Although the separation was a tough reality to accept at first, fortunately your parents were always capable of raising you in an environment full of love and affection, just like any other kid. And you prided yourself on having moved on from those circumstances a long time ago (even if your therapist disagreed and blamed many of your behaviors on it. Whatever.)

To put it simply, December was just not the month for you. It was just another month, like the remaining eleven of the year, except Mariah Carey's voice was heard every five minutes everywhere you'd go and people gave each other presents as if it was only during that time of the year when they remembered their loved ones. 

The only thing you could thank Christmas for were the well deserved two weeks of holidays our work allowed until the new year's arrival. Fifteen days of rest, peace and baking those gingerbread cookies that Seokjin died for and that you sincerely denoted as nauseating.

You truly had no idea what exactly you did wrong that night. You don't know if it was something you said, or something you did, but what you did know was that Park Jimin pursued a silent and personal vendetta against you that continued nowadays.

"Here are your disgusting cookies, you filthy animal." it might have been that very first sentence you said when you entered the bar and reunited with your friends that didn't cause a good impression. "Shit, it's cold as fuck. My nipples are harder than my life." or maybe it was your selection of words while you waved every familiar face hello until you stopped to look at the only (pretty. too pretty, as well) one you had never seen before.

"_____, it's Chrismtas! Santa Clause will only bring you a lump of coal if you keep cursing like that!" Lisa laughed while she kissed your cheek and made space for you to sit next to her. "Oh, by the way, this is Jimin. A friend of Namjoon. He's a newbie!"

Park Jimin was stunning, you had no trouble admitting that. You weren't blind, you weren't stupid, and you could go as far as theorize that his dark eyes, his light and always immaculate styled hair, his sharp jawline and those plump lips as red as cherries must have been sculpted by Satan himself.

Fuck, you were even sure you'd be on your knees in front of Park Jimin in an alternative universe begging for his dick inside your mouth. But in the universe where you and the real Park Jimin reside, he would never come near you unless somebody was aiming a gun into his skull.

You're not precisely sure what it was, but a brief exchange of glances and an evasive and sligh shake of hands with Park Jimin was enough to make you feel ashamed and withdrawn for the rest of the night.

If Jimin wasn't even able to drop a polite "Nice to meet you", he sure as hell wasn't able to pretend you even existed.

Even the small talk you had tried to engaged with him about his shiny pair of shoes went terribly wrong.

"Oh, are those Dolce and Gabbana?"

"Dolce and Gabbana are homphobic, racist and sexist, so no" the grimace on his face should've been enough to make you regret speaking to him in the first place , but the snarky voice of his made you want to run away and hide from him until next Christmas.

In reality, you swore you didn't care. Seriously. Other's opinions were never something that could easily bother you or keep you awake at night. You had always turned a deaf ear to the cruel children that made fun of you due to your parent's divorce, you had always ignored the amount of men that never considered you "ladylike" enough (what the fuck did that even mean, anyway? what exactly made a lady and what didn't?), and you had always disregarded any envous comment surrounding you.

So, fuck Park Jimin! You had said to yourself. He's just a well mannered rich boy. Somebody who didn't resemble you in any aspect. A stupid, pretentious, spoiled boy who's had everything he's ever wanted in the palm of his hand, unlike you. Who the fuck cares what Park Jimin thinks? 

But apparently, you did. 

You would have never placed such importance to whatever it was that roamed inside Jimin's head if his appearances in your group of friends hadn't been so recurrent.

Because each time you were forced to see Jimin's face, you were also forced to experience a strange knot of discomfort and humilliation growing in your stomach in his mere presence. It's not like Jimin did anything specific to make you feel that way. He might not even do it on purpose, or his intentions might not be entirely evil. Maybe he simply didn't realize how he always avoided being by your side like the plague, or how his body immediately tensed and he balled his hands into fists everytime you were less than two feet away from him, or how he would look at you from the corner of his eye everytime you decided you speak, almost as if he was waiting for you to shut up to finally let out the air he was containing inside his lungs in relief.

Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.

And with time, you couldn't help but attribute that disdain and hostility that Park Jimin always directed at you to the many undeniable differences that constituted each of you. Park Jimin, with his impeccable and always well ironed Prada shirts, his spotless trousers, jewelry that probably costed more than three of your annual salaries, and always emanating that Givenchy fragance that screamed "wealth!" every rare occasion you could experiment his presence next to you. Exactly two years after that first meeting with Park Jimin, you hadn't been able to avoid reciprocating that feeling of contempt towards him. Not when you were the only victim of his arrogance. Everybody loved Park Jimin, and Park Jimin loved everyone. 

Except you.

Clinging to your glass of Don Pérignon and finishing the rest of the liquid in one go, you try to snap out of your own thoughts, reminding yourself to return to the conversation you're currently having with Taehyung about a pretty waitress that he's met during one of his art exhibitions (or at least that's what you think you caught him say) and forcing yourself by all means to stop observing the friendly and kind smiles that Park Jimin was shooting to those present from across the room and that you will never be able to achieve. 

"_____? Are you even listening to me, darling?" Taehyung's voice is what makes you finally look away from the dumb blond standing on the opposite side of the room, blinking a few times before clearing your throat. 

"Sorry, Tae." letting out a sigh, you try to brush back and put in place the strand of hair that escaped the intricate hairdo you had tried and so miserably failed to do yourself to try to fit in and hopefully impress such environment of preppy and privilaged people (ahem, Park Jimin)  falling on your forehead as best as you can. "Just been really stressed this week and I'm on another planet. You know how I feel about Christmas. I think I need a new flute of . Or five."

Taehyung sends you a look full of empathy and places one of his hands in your shoulder, squeezing lightly in a comforting way. "I'll get you another one. I'll be right back." You quickly interrupt him though, to prevent him from standing up before you.

"No, really. I'll go. I need some fresh air anyways, if you don't mind." And of course Taehyung doesn't mind, so you get on your feet as graceously as your tipsy state allowed you to (who told you it was a good idea to drink three glasses in less than thirty minutes of the extremely expensive champagne Taehyung had brought to the Christmas party he had organized and why did it convince you it would appease your anxiey?) and make your way towards the table where the rest of the bottles are. A table dangerously close to the conversation Jimin and that friend of Lisa (whose name you don't remember) were having.

Both are with their backs turned and, honestly, you take a silent moment to thank God or whatever is up there because the last thing you need right now is yet another awkward interaction with Jimin, so you try as best as you can to refill your glass of champagne to get out of there as soon as possible, praying to make your exit going unnoticed.

But no. Because the stars and the universe loved to align to make you suffer! They love to play with your karma and they love making you damn that one day you didn't help that lady cross the street. They love making you regret buying those plastic straws. They love making you feel guilty for hacking your neighbour's Wifi when you run out of money to pay for yours. Because the moment you try to take a hold of the bottle in your hands, it slips out of your grasp, and you're watching in slow motion how the sparkling berverage ends up spilling all over the extremely expensive (or so you assume. Balenciaga maybe) suit pants Park Jimin decided to wear that night.

Everything is kind of blurry and you can't even hear anything. You can only watch as Park Jimin turns around, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, until his eyes find you, the bane of his existance and immediately recognizing the culprit of his now drenched piece of clothing. And you can watch as, once again, his gaze turns almost black and narrow lightly as to reprimend you for what you've caused. But of course he doesn't say a word. He has nothing to say. He doesn't even look surprised. No. Because obviously, Park Jimin knew that if there was somebody in this room willing to ruin his night, it would be you, and only you.

"Shit!" you're the first one to break the strained silence, but that only makes Jimin flinch. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm so fucking dumb! J-Jimin, I'm so sorry, let me just go grab a paper tow-"

"Don't." his voice cuts through you. Literally cuts through you. Because it's not often that Park Jimin decides to aim his words at you, but everytime he does it holds the same frigid tone. Like knives trying to painfully stab your being. "Just, don't."

In reality, you don't know a lot of things and you don't know what causes what happens next. You don't know if it's the specific time of the year, you don't know if it's your internal stress, or if it's Park Jimin, his voice, or the fact that he will never like you. But it's instant. They way something compresses your chest, and suddenly your eyes are not glaced by the alcohol but by something wet that threatens to flow. You would never admit to anyone they're tears.

So, shutting your mouth and swallowing the uncomfortable feeling of anguish in your throat, leaving your flute forgotten on the table and grabbing the bottle instead. Without saying a word, your feet start moving up the stairs of the ridiculously enourmous house Taehyung owns towards the first free and empty balcony you can find. Free of people and free of Park Jimin.

Closing the large window behind you, you allow yourself to close your eyes and take a deep breath; the icy temperature outside immediately welcoming you. Although the hairs on your arm stand up and you know you're probably going to catch a cold (because the dress you've chosen for the dinner is not at all appropiate for such winter climate), at least the tension in your body seems to disappear while oxygen keeps that ugly feeling in your heart at bay from continuing to choke you.

With shaky hands, you take a big gulp straight from the champagne bottle. Fuck Park Jimin. No man will ever have the power to make you feel what you're feeling right now.  Fuck Park Jimin. And fuck his beautiful face and his ability to make you tremble and fear looking like an idiot. Fuck his fancy clothes and his perfect manicured hands and his marvelous but frigthening presence. 

Knock knock.

The sound makes you jump back from the window, hand grasping your chest while you turn around, coming face to face with the man in question.  Your first instinct is to ignore him. But that thought is already out of the way when it's him the one who struggles with the window lock before opening and taking a step towards you. You step back as he steps in, raising your head up high and puffing your chest. Because your second instinct is to tell Park Jimin to go fuck himself.

"_____, I would like to-"

"You would like to what?" Jimin looks taken aback at your harshness. Alcohol has always been a weapon of mass destruction in your system, provoking words to flow too easily and without filter out of your mouth, more than they already do when you're sober. Especially when it's mixed with the frustration you've been harboring inside of you for two years. That's why when the words start to come out, they won't stop. "To make me feel like shit one more time? To look at me with that fucking conceited face trying to make me feel like you're better than me? Or would you like to ignore me once again as you always do everytime we're in the same fucking room to make sure I know you hate my mere existance, even if it's just the two of us right now?"

The steam leaving your lips due to the accelerated beat of your heart blurs his face for an instant while he looks at you dumbfounded. The silence and his expression makes you scoff, an acidic smile adorning your face while you take another sip of your drink because even with such a stupid face, he still looks delectable with his white shirt and ruined pants. You turn around, removing a tear that you hadn't even realized had fallen during your speech and that, frankly, you were hoping he hadn't either. You would blame it on the cold, anyway.

This time, a gust of wind running through you from head to toe, making you forget of Park Jimin's presence looming behind you, reminding you it's still December and the fabric of your dress is doing nothing to conceal you from the cold.

But before you can do anything about it and blame yourself for being dumb and not taking your coat with you before deciding to step into balcony, Park Jimin surprises you once again, this time by placing his navy blue blazer over the naked skin of your arms.

Your back straightens when you feel his warm breath caressing the back of your neck, at the same time that a voice you have never heard Park Jimin use with you echoes in your ears.

"I really don't hate you, _____. I..." Jimin wets his lips. His body trembles, but it's not due to lacking his own coat, while his brain hurriedly searches for words eloquent and adequate enough to explain voice his thoughts. "I like you very much, _____."

Scoffing again while you shake your head, you push down with all your inner strenght the incipent fluttering of butterflies in your stomach that Jimin has managed to cause in just a matter of seconds. It's probably the longest sentence you've heard from him in two years, and you don't exactly understand why your body is reacting the way it is. But you're also not willing to give Park Jimin the satisfaction of knowing that. He doesn't deserve it anyway. So with all the courage you can muster, you turn around with your hands clenching.

And even though being at such short distance from Jimin is a bit overwhelming and unexpected for you, the irritation still making your blood bubble is enough to not let a man as handsome as him derail you from your current circumstances.

"Well, fuck you Park Jimin. You certainly have a funny fucking way to sh-" his hands cradling your jaw that pull you closer to him and his lips that silent you roughly, but with surprising care. Only for a moment. A moment in which your body betrays you and make you melt into hir warmth. But his voice, low and sinfully husky, murmurs against your lips. 

"God, that mouth of yours..." he goes back to attacking your own lips, this time more firm than before, snatching a sigh from you. The sound has his tongue asking for permission into your mouth, and with your body betraying you once again, you part your lips to allow him in. It's him who whimpers this time, while one of his hand moving until it reaches the bottle in your hand and letting it drop carelessly onto the floor, ignoring the sound of glass shattering and the future scolding you'll get from Taehyung. Instead, he sneaks that same hand on your waist, pulling your body flush against his, fingers digging onto your skin. "It's been driving me crazy for two years. Two years, _____."

He mumbles between kisses and swipes his tongue against yours, while he stars walking the both of you until your back meets the nearest concrete wall. 

"Two years of having to hear the incessant filthy words that leave your mouth..." his own stop their movements and you catch yourself before begging him to reattaching his lips to yours, enjoying instead the path of wet kisses and bruises his lips traile from your chin to the pulse of your neck "...and trying my best to hide the painful boners I get whenever you're nearby." 

With your eyes shut, your hands are back in motion, ignoring the voice in your head reminding you he's still an asshole and finding their way between Jimin's soft golden strands of hair. He hums in appreciation, sending goosebumps all over your body. "So, s-so why not do anything about it sooner?" you say, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe properly.

You feel Jimin's body tensing before you and he ceases the movement of his lips against your neck. Breaking away, your heart stops, afraid you might have ruined the moment. But Jimin's in search of your eyes, eyebrows very lighlty raised, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place. You don't know for how long you stare at each other until Jimin comes out of the trance, eyes descending over your flushed cheeks, the very same color as your lips and the soft flesh of your neck until they reach your cleavage, the glimmering fabric encasing your breasts, taunting him the same way they had been doing all night long.

"You scare me so much..." and then, one of his hands repeats the same journey his eyes just did, until he touches your shoulder, right under his own blazer. "Everytime I look at you, all I can think of why the hell a girl as real as you like you would even glance my way." he slides the strap of your dress slowly tentatively, just enough for you to stop his advances if you chose so. You don't. "You're smart in ways I could never compare, so funny it makes me jealous, and so pretty it leaves me speechless. You're...You're everything I'm not."

His voice resonates in the atmosphere, and you would love to blame it on the cold again for how your body has reacted, but your body heat has increased so much since he started kissing you that it would be stupid not to admit that it's just the effect that Park Jimin has on you tonight. You're sure he would've had the same effect if it had happened before.

Your now uncovered breast doesn't even has to suffer the consequences of the icy wind, because one of Jimin's arms quickly comes around you to hold your body against his, lifting you ever so slighty until your erect nipple is at the same level as his mouth and his lips are enveloping it in their warmth. You gasp his name, and that encourages his teeth to tug softly before his tongue stars moving in circes. 

"My God, you're so perfect." Your head spins while you hold onto his shoulders as tight as you can, the undeniable heat roaming all over your form, hips involuntarily rutting his incipent erection poking your abdomen. "Been thinking about this since that night we first met." Looking for relief, Jimin mirrors your movements without ceasing the administrations on your chest, as one of his hands lifts one of your thighs to wrap around his waist, closing the short gap remaining between the both of you. 

"Ohmygod! F-fuck, Jimin," trying to form coherent phrases is almost impossible, not with Jimin finding a slow and tortuous rythm with his hips, his clothed cock rubbing against your core. Something shifts in the air, because Jimin stops abusing your nipple with a loud pop, and shuts you up by pressing his mouth onto yours in an urgent, dirty and desperate kiss. You could almost hear him swearing, while his hand keeps your jaw in place.

"S-stop talking like that, ______." his voice, inaudible, and his face now hiding in the crook of your neck, the thrusting of his hips speeding up, more and more frantic this time. The hand not holding your thigh against his hipbone reveals your other breast, hand covering it and giving it a light squeeze before tugging at your unattended nipple between his forefinger and his thumb while his tongue and teeth mark the skin on your neck. 

"Hell, I've been dying to stuff your mouth with my cock to prevent you from such foul language," the soft whimpers leacving your mouth coax him into taking the hem of your dress and bunching the fabric until his fingers easily find the place in your body calling to him the most through the lace.  It's immediate, how his fingers dampen at the first touch, surprising the both of you, and how your body jolts and an embarrassing sob escapes your throat. "How-how are you this wet? Holy hell, I could just slide right in..."

And as he says that, one of his fingers pull aside the fabric of your underwear and glide into you, so easy. You insides burning while he fingers you, another finger being added with his thumb rubbing circles on your nub. And fuck, you're not sure if you're just too horny and Park Jimin is a magician with his hands, or maybe it's the way he keeps mouthing at your chest and whispering how soaked you are, but you don't think you've ever been so close to cumming in such a short period of time.

"W-whats stopping you?" you manage with a voice that doesn't even resembles yours, but before your hands can even make work of the zipper of his trousers, he pulls his finger out from your center, causing you to whine in protest.

Jimin licks his lips, eyebrows framing the dark expression that his eyes ooze. Although the desire in his eyes is more than evident, it is also evident the faint hesitation in them. Because Park Jimin doesn't do things this way. Park Jimin was raised in a world of correct manners and conservationism. A world that has taught him when and how to act. And as badly as he is dying to fuck you against the wall of Taehyung's ridiculously inmense house, he also wants to do the right thing. 

"Let me take you on a date." 

Park Jimin has been spoiled his whole life. Being born in a well-off family has always provided him of everything he had ever wanted and more. From the innecessary number of toys Santa Claus left under his Christmas tree every year since he was a baby, to his fisrt extravagant sports car at the age of eighteen. Park Jimin has never been a greedy or needy man. How could he, when he's had everything he's ever wished in the palm of his hands. He has never missed anything in his entire life. Hasn't missed a roof over his head, warm food on his plate or brand new designers clothes each week. 

It has taken him two years to control himself. He still remembers that night he first met you, just like he remembers every single time you both had coincided in the same place at the same time. He remembered your scent, had memorized your figure over your pieces of clothing and had tried as best as he could to keep a distance from you because he knew you would never give him the time of day. How could you? You probably despised everything he was because he was definitely nothing like you, and that thought intimidated the fuck out of him. He was a mess everytime you wear nearby. Never relied on his voice because he knew he would stutter if you ever spoke to him, could never trust his eyes because if he ever looked at you he was afraid he wouldn't be able to look away. 

And everytime you spoke, shit, that voice of yours always cursing here and there left him wondering how would you sound in a different setting and if you would still be that badmouthed. More specifically, between his sheets. So he did everything he could to minimize your interactions as much as possible. He just never thought he would come across as such a jerk. It was never his intention to hurt you, and seeing you cry that night (although you denied you did, over and over again) seriously made him realize he wanted to make things right. 

He was trying really, really hard to keep it in his pants, to be the same well composed and controled Park Jimin he had mastered himself to be. 

But that damn dress.

After seeing that little black dress hugging your figure when you started taking off your coat at the restaurant, the brief flash of thigh tights that you accidentaly (or not so accidentally) had blessed him with by crossing a leg over the other, that exposed collarbone calling his name and those heeled sandals with straps wrapping around your ankles, reminding him of the snake tempting Eve, Park Jimin was sure he needed to dig into that apple more than anything he has ever needed before.

That's why he surprises you right after you both finish the second course meal by telling the waitress you won't be having desert, at which you look at him somewhat indignant. But the look he shoots you is enough to make you understand if somebody was going to have desert tonight, it would be him. In his Mercedes. 

"I'm gonna-" you gasp, fingers tugging at the soft strands of his now ruined blond hair, his head between your thighs and your legs thrown over his shoulders. His hands have a grip of the meaty flesh of your ass, holding you firmly againt his mouth as it works wonders on your clit. You're sure it hasn't even been ten minutes since Jimin had opened your legs in the backseat of his car, not even bothering to take your underwear off, simply moving the fabric aside before diving in, and you already feel yourself on the edge of an orgasm.

"I know." voice vibrating right into your core, he slows down his administrations, tongue carefully and delicately lapping at your folds while he enjoys the feeling of your fingers loosening their grip and fondly brushing his hair back. You meet his eyes as he pushes a finger inside your core and your whole body twists in agony. 

"N-no!" 

Jimin stops immediately, lifting his head and focusing his concerned eyes on you. He's about to ask you if he's done anything wrong, but you're fast to roughly pull him up by his hair until his face is leveled with yours. You answer him by kissing him and he returns the kiss with the same eagerness, and now it's your hands that are looking for his cock, palming him through his pants.

"Your dick. Inside. Right Now." you punctuate each phrase with a kiss and he only stops kissing you to pout.

"But I wanted you to cum on my tongue." but still, he's putty in your hands when you undo the botton and the zipper. "Wouldn't you rather me fucking you in my bed, where we're more comfortable?" you notice the slight quivering of his voice when you slide his trousers and boxers down, just enough to pull him out. 

"You can eat me and fuck me as many times as you want tonight, tomorrow and whenever you'd like, but right now..." none of you contain the moan in unision that leaves each of your mouths when just the head of his lenght comes in contact with your entrance. "I really can't wait anymore." brushing your lips over his, you lower your voice. "Wanna get on my hands and knees for you."

Park Jimin has tried to do things the right and appropiate way throughout all his life. He's been a professional from a very young age on how to be in charge of his emotions, his desires and his impulses. Always well mannered and well composed. 

But it's in this moment that Jimin comes to the realization that the only thing that has ever made him lose his mind and self control, is you. Seeing you like this, ass up, grinding your drenched and still thong clad cunt all over his precum dripping lenght, he can't control the way his hand bunches the fabrick of that damn dress over your waist, then flies to your right cheek, a sharp sound of skin filling the air, tearing a gasp from your throat.

"God, I'm-I'm sorry. Couldn't help mys-"

"Do it again."

And he does, the palm of his hand now leaving a reddenning print on your flesh, making you jolt back involuntarily, aligning yourself to the head of his cock and like he had hoped, he slides right in. Not all the way, because Jimin is sure he would cream inside you too soon and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did. He wets his lips, clenching his jaw and dropping his palm one more time, hand more steady and purposeful. 

"You like it rough?" voice hoarse and a hand beside your head holding himself, your back to his chest, twitching beneath him as he soothes the sting with his free one. 

"I like you rough." turning your head slowly to peer at him from the corner of your eye, your hips moving on their own accord trying to take him deeper. Your head is suddenly pulled back harshly, Jimin's fingers tangling in your hair as his own hips close the remaining gap between your bodys in an abrupt thurst. You squeal, Jimin's cock finally filling you up to the hilt just like you wanted him to be, the pleasure making your arms wobble and finding it harder to mantain your balance. 

Jimin's breath fawns over your ear, his tongue darting out to suck on your skin sending chills down your spine. "You're such a dream." he groans, torturously sliding out of your core that's gripping around his shaft for dear life. A whine of protest escapes your lips and he tightens the hold on your hair in response, diving right back in. You fall forward, your arms' strenght betraying you as his thrusts find a new rhythm. With your eyes closed shut, you try to muffle the sound of your voice with the back of your hand as Jimin's lips place soft kisses to your exposed shoulder.

"Don't be quiet." he stands straight, the pull on your hair arching your back in such a enticing way it was Jimin look away for a second, cock buried inside of you and his hips faltering. "Been dying to have you like this for so long."

Another clap of his hand against your right cheek, and a particular stroke of his dick that has you mewling as your climax approached again. "S-so good, Jimin. Oh my god."

"You're gonna cum for me?" his fingertips leave bruises on your skin and the windows of his Mercedes are foggy, just like your mind. You can't concentrate on anything that's not Jimin's cock sliding in and out and how much you wished this had happened way sooner. "Gonna cum for me like a good slut?"

Park Jimin always takes his time. Always does things nice and slow to assure the best outcome possible. 

But he can't contain the acceleration of his hips against yours as your walls clench impossibly tight around his cock, your orgasm finally taking over . Can't contain himself from falling forward again, hand twisting your head in his direction and his mouth searching for yours in a fiery and messy kiss. And he most definitely can't barely contain himself from cumming when your you ask him to spit in your mouth. 

"You're gonna kill me." he breathes, removing himself off you and quickly maneuvering you on your back, his dick finding its way back inside you. Picking up right where he left off, skin slapping against skin in an obscene melody, he collects a considerate amount of saliva in his mouth before dropping it into your welcoming tongue, watching you swallow with a smile he hopes he'll be the only one to see in the future. 

And that's what has the last bit of his self restraint slipping from his fingers. He somehow manages to rip the top of your dress down, fabric tearing until your tits are free and his mouth is attacking your nipples, white strings of his release panting your walls, some of it them oozing out that he fucks back right into you. 

It's between ragged breaths, kisses and tender carresses that Jimin promises you more dates in the future and new dresses that he can't promise not to savage apart again.

[mystaracrosstheuniverse]

Last Piece 2.

title. Last Piece pairing. GOT7 JB x Reader genre. slice of life, romance, attempts at comedy, angst warnings. cursing, jb being a cute cat dad, reader is hella awkward but so is he, mentions of anxiety, GOT7 members being hella extra bc they are summary. As an English teacher from abroad, you get a lot of perks. One of the best ones is that you live in an apartment for free. Another perk seems to be the elusive, attractive man who lives two floors above you… Though his cats seem to prefer your apartment over his. And so does his mail, which makes you travel to his place pretty often regardless of whether he wants to see you or not.

new beginnings master post.

part one. part two.

______________________________________________________________

Ever since that first package drop off, you’ve run into Jaebum quite a few times. Living in the same building and occasionally getting each other’s mail definitely attributed to the frequency, and you were thankful for it. While you’re sure the male wouldn’t really consider the two of you friends, you liked to call him a “not quite but almost friend”... Not to his face but to your own friends and to yourself. Maybe occasionally to his cats. Speaking of his cats, you’ve met more than just Odd and Nora at this point. Nora seemed to be the jealous type, wanting her dad’s attention to herself, and would push the younger ones out of the apartment as Jaebum would come and go. The amount of times you’ve found Odd or Kunta wandering around the hall made you wonder how the man didn’t ever notice his oldest child bullying her siblings.  Other times he gets your mail, having it been delivered to him on accident somehow. You’d never live down the time he got a huge package from your grandparents, an amused smirk across his face as he brought it to you.  “Forget some things back home?” He had teased, setting the package down on your counter. Your face was bright red, unable to string together a coherent sentence because you didn’t want him to think you were forgetful, but then again you kind of were but what if -- “Hey, I’m just teasing, Y/N.” He had said, gentler this time, “I know it must be nice to have someone back home who cares about you.”  You had just nodded, your heartbeat evening out slowly as you chatted for a few more minutes before he hurried off. He was a bit gentler for a few days after, as if scared to get that reaction out of you again. You appreciated it. You hoped that one day you’d be able to not have that instant reaction to panic over a small comment. Since then, you’ve been trying to gather up the courage to ask if he wants to hang out for lunch or something. Every time you get close, you end up chickening out. And every time you cursed yourself, because you just wanted to be his friend -- something about him made you want to be around him. Today, though, you just wanted to get to work. You had planned a big interactive activity for your class today and you wanted to make sure everything was perfect. Hurrying down the stairs, you made sure you had everything in your bag before leaving the building. As you looked up, you noticed someone just barely walking ahead of you. Jaebum. Immediately your mind went through possible scenarios, from saying hello to quietly avoiding him, maybe even -- “Do you want to get lunch or something later Jae???” Oh no. Oh no. Your mouth decided for you. Not only that, you addressed him so casually even though he’s older, he’s definitely going to hate you -- Was... that a laugh? You focused her attention back on him, seeing him looking amused and a half smile on his face. You ignored the small catch in your throat and pushed away the thought of how nice he looked.  “Sure, give me your phone and we’ll plan something.” You don’t even remember handing over your device or him adding himself to your contacts, but a few minutes later he gave you a little finger salute and a promise to message you later for planning.  “Im Jaebum” the contact read in kakaotalk, simple and to the point, much like the man you were hoping to befriend. As you mentally patted yourself on the back for not crying, you glanced at the time on your phone before cursing loudly in your native language and running off to the subway. You were going to be late.  Despite you thinking that you totally had your excitement under control, your co-teacher and students definitely thought otherwise.  “Teacher, why can’t you sit still? Don’t you ... much sit down?” Sangmin, one of your fourth graders, attempted to ask. You smiled and gently corrected him, saying you liked to sit down very much, but don’t ‘always’ do it. He bashfully nodded and bowed his head down to talk with his desk partner about the dialogue you’d given out for discussion. “They’re right you know,” You jumped before recognizing the voice of your co-teacher, Taeyeon, “You’re acting like you’ve drank the Ediya shop out of stock.”  Oh. Perhaps you were flitting about the room more, babbling a little to yourself and to your students, and constantly looking over at your desk where you kept your phone while class was in session.  “I just... I made a friend.” You admitted, “You know, the guy from my apartment building?”  Taeyeon raised an eyebrow, looking at you skeptically. “I know I’ve asked this, but you sure you don’t like him more than a friend? It’s not like we’re not friends and you don’t have friends, Y/N.”  See you KNEW this but one of your biggest anxieties and fears was that you’d never be able to make friends outside of work or your past. Because, like Christian had always reassured you, you were a wonderful sweetheart but you were so hard to talk to because you were always so nervous. It made it hard.  “I really just want to meet his cats... Except Nora because she seems mean.” You noted, not really answering the question but in your mind, it was sufficient. Having worked with you and had recently made herself your friend, Taeyeon knew this was probably the best she was going to get out of you and just left it be. You’d figure it out eventually and she knew she’d be one of the first to know. She still couldn’t help but question it when she saw you light up at a notification on your phone.  ‘Want to meet up after your work and eat some chicken? I know a good place.’

___________________________________________________________ You forgot why you were so worried about hanging out with Jaebum in the first place. Talking with him, after the initial awkward greeting, was coming really easily to you. You only hoped he felt the same, it seemed so.  “So why Korea, hm?” Jaebum had asked, looking over at you as he drank his water. You chewed your food thoughtfully before swallowing. It was a question often asked, but it never bothered you to answer it. “I fell in love with this country the first week I came here, back in school.” You explained, “I’ve only ever felt at home in one other place, and it was with my grandparents. But when I came here... it just felt right, you know? Like fate was telling me to come here. So I wanted to come back after figuring out what I wanted to do.” Jaebum listened well, nodding along as you spoke. “I see. And you found teaching was it?” You nodded. “I love what I do, even more so that I get to do it in the place that feels like home.”  A small smile creeped along his face, and you coughed to distract yourself from staring. “So what do you do, Im Jaebum?”  After finding out that he HATED being addressed by his full name, especially by someone younger than him (which you were by a year), you couldn’t resist. You had to. “I’m a freelancer. I do a lot of music production work or lyricist support.” He rolled his eyes at your antics, but didn’t say anything. You lit up at the mention of music. Your father loved music, and you had fond memories of growing up with him playing everything from Mozart to The Eagles while your mother was gone. “That’s so cool! Did you go to school for it or is it just... apart of you?” You struggled to find the words to describe what you meant. While you were confident in your Korean, some words just... didn’t translate well in your opinion. He chuckled lowly, “I’ve been making and doing music since I was young. Never thought about doing anything else once I found it. I learned along the way.” The conversation continued, talking about favorite genres of music, eventually leading you to ask how his cats liked his music or if they preferred a certain type, to you demanding to know why Nora keeps trying to bully Odd. It was nice. Really, really nice actually. Jaebum smiled so much at you and even joined in your weird reactions or antics and it just made you feel warm and happy on the inside. He even insisted on paying since he was older and who were you to refuse free food? You were to excited -- you made a friend! The talking lulled while walking back to the apartment complex, but the silence wasn’t an awkward one. It was gentle and understanding. You didn’t need to fill up the space with idle, unneeded chit chat to be with each other. As you came to the doors of the building, Jaebum opened the door and allowed you to go first, and you might’ve missed it because of how bashful he sounded. “It’s been a while since I’ve had fun with someone who’s not my group.. Thanks, Y/N.” You smiled brightly. “Well, consider me apart of your group. We’re friends now Jae!” There you went with no honorifics. He scowled at you, pinching your neck as you tried to avoid him on your way to the elevator. “At least call me hyung or something if not oppa, you disrespectful brat!” He called out, only getting your childish giggles as his response. Hanging out with Jaebum wasn’t really easy or often. He’s really busy and his schedule is… not consistent. You knew it was due to his job and not because he hated you, so you weren’t as worried about it as you could be. Especially since he tried to talk to you at least once a week, even it was just a brief conversation in the stairwell, or on your way out to work. It was enough for you. Of course you see each other a little more often than usual because of the mail situation. For some reason, the mail person could not understand that just because you were one of the only foreigners from the U.S. in the building does not mean that every package from the U.S. is for you. But it did give you an excuse to go see Jaebum after a week, so you head up the stairs, package in hand, and you hear Jae’s voice -- and a few others, it sounded like? Huh? “Jae??? Is that you???” You peer up the stairwell to see if you can catch him, and soon you see Jae leaning over his own railing, catching sight of you and waving, but looking over to where you couldn’t see and looking a little pissed off. Oh... That was new. Was someone bothering him? Were you bothering him? You started apologizing, “Hey sorry if this is a bad time -- I got another package from your friend and I just --” “Yoooo Who’s that?! It sounds like a girl OH are you in love?!” A loud, excited male voice shouted over you, startling you and almost making you drop the package in your arms. “I told you her name is Y/N and she’s a friend!!” Jaebum’s chin seemed to stick out in reaction to your startled state -- you hoped he wasn’t too mad at you. Or his friend. It’s not his fault you’re easily scared.  You decided to call out once more, “So... the box?”  He looked down at you, his arm pointed and pushing someone, supposedly his friends, as he responded. “Yeah, bring it up, I’ll grab it from you -- Just let me get my friends into the apartment.” “I want to meet her!” “Bring her to us!” “Let us see her!” The loud, rambunctious voices all decided to loudly protest at once, making you shake a little in your boots, letting Jaebum disappear from your sight before sitting down to regain your nerve. You didn’t know Jaebum had... such loud friends. Feral children was the phrase that came to mind... Gathering your nerve, you walked up the stairs and into Jaebum’s hallway, where he’s already waiting for you, leaning against the door as it bumped against him at times, the sounds of whining and demands to see you seeping through the solid door. “Thanks, Y/N.” Jaebum smiled gently, taking the box from you. You managed a smile back, jumping at the sudden movement of the door that jostled him forward. “Sorry, I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” He apologized, kicking the door, “Hopefully you can meet them later, but right now I can tell they’re going to be too much for you and I actually want you to still be my friend after meeting them.” His explanation was a little rushed at the end, pink tinging his cheeks. Was Jaebum embarrassed? Well that was kinda cute.  You quickly pushed that thought aside. But you couldn’t help but flush. He noticed that about you? “Sorry, Jae...” “Don’t apologize! When you’re ready we can set something up. I think you’ll like them when they’re calmer.” His smiled widened, “Then I’ll have someone calm and not evil to combat these brats.” “I thought I was a brat, though?” You tilted your head, feeling more at ease. He rolled his eyes.  “You’re all brats and I suffer. But I guess I enjoy suffering.” He shrugged. “Well, I’ll see you around Y/N. Promise.” You nodded, scurrying off before Jaebum’s friends could break the door down. After getting into the apartment, you smiled to yourself. Jaebum liked you enough to want to meet his friends. You were friends.

[marshmallowprotection]

hello!!! matchups are kind of scary to me bc everyone does it very differently and there's no real "script" to follow when requesting!!!!!!

that being said, may I request a platonic matchup?

I'm 5'2" (forehead kiss height!), but a lot of my shoes are either platforms or heels, so I actually end up being uhhh 5'2½" lololol

I have! shortish brown hair (undercut) and brown eyes (like river mud!!!! there's so many good things in river mud!!!!!), but my hair is dyed purple (except at the roots, and it's kinda fading at the front from where I run my hands through it when I'm anxious oof)! I have a lot of freckles on the back of my neck!! I also have a septum piercing because I once saw art of the minotaur looking snazzy as hell with a septum piercing and went "hmm nice"!

my best attributes are!! I am a chaotic little shit!!! /pos and also!!! I have very, very colorful taste in everything!!!! My room is a visual stim!!!!! My clothes are a visual stim!!!!! It is very important that everything be very colorful and messy!!!!!

things that I enjoy: hugs! cuddles! forehead and cheek kisses! I am very touch starved, please give me attention and affection!!! I am also!! starved for the sound of another person's laugh because it is quite literally the most beautiful thing ever even if they think it's not!!! it literally brings me so much joy I simply cannot contain it!!!!

to wrap this up, I appreciate you very much, and I want you to know that you are a blessing, and also please take care of yourself!!! thank you!!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

(also p.s. it's so weird to "advertise" myself !! I feel like I'm writing a resume for a friendship application lolololol)

I match you with...

Yoosung!

You’re the kind of person that is passionate about what you do. You love your hobbies and you love being a part of them. You love exploring and you love the idea of having someone listen to you talk for hours. You just want to have fun and you know how you want to do it. You’ve got the makings of someone who could have fun with anyone but you need someone that feels comfortable with your body language. That’s why, this may be a surprise, but you could be real pals with Yoosung. You might’ve expected Seven, but, no, you’re going to need to hear me out, bestie.

The two of you would be chaos in the kitchen. You’re going to ask if something can be edible and he’s going to wonder... and now you’re going to make some kind of food out of it. Hey, it’s fun to play around and test these things and that is just the basis of friendship. You are the bros that can make something purple with nothing added that should make purple. I respect it and fear it, but don’t worry, it tastes good. I hope. I think.

I also just feel like your electric personality is enough to make Yoosung come out of his shell and start believing in himself. You’d be a positive influence and pal to him and he’d do the same. He would be your friend that likes to bring you stim gifts because he thought of you! 

[dreamiesdotcom]

carpe diem | n.jm

summary: You both are the only people in the world, and it is be true; maybe it is. Maybe it isn't — maybe you don't need it to be. It feels real, so it is real, and even if you are lying to yourself as you say it, nobody has to know. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present moment. Trust the angel to say to you the filthiest of lies he's held on his tongue. Fall in love with Na Jaemin.

word count: 2689

a/n: yo :') me has been inactive but this has been requested based on this and I always thought that this blurb is too vague to understand, so here I thought 'why not?' because, you know, yOu gOtTa sEiZe tHe oPpuRtunIty (to procrastinate) (really tho) (i wrote this in one sitting but only bc i procrastinated it for a day and five hours)

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present moment. Sit inside your local library as soon as it opens, don't leave your favorite cafe until it closes at noon. Read aloud poetry, write excerpts on tissues, leave it for another person to see. Fold paper stars. Hang neon moons. Run barefooted on forests or just around your room, stargaze or just look up the sky. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Have your heart broken. Be completely in love with your best friend.

To be at the brink of sleep is the saddest and happiest feeling you can feel when it's late-night; to know that you're finally going to be able to rest, to remember why it is that you struggle to do so anyway. The clock glares 3:34 a.m and it's the time where your demons ring the loudest, sharp murmurs drowned by muffled sobs. Your phone jolts you awake when it vibrates.

From: Jaem ^^

You up?

It should annoy you, really, but it doesn't. By the time you're done typing, you're already reaching out for your jacket and your purse.

To: Jaem ^^

I don't quite seem to know... am I?

It's a numb feeling that you get when you meet him outside. Jaemin looks wonderful even in his hoodie, his hair a mess he didn't bother fixing. He's beautiful, and it's tragic because you just want him to leave. That's all you can think of when he smiles and cups your cheeks, "I can't sleep. Stay up with me?"

When he stares at you like that, he sees the answers he wants but he remains trying to look unassuming — an image of pure, honest, and genuine innocence; a lie he often makes. You close your eyes to hide, soaking up the lovely feeling of being able to breathe; Are you underwater? Are you jumping along with blue skies? Are you in Neverland? You aren't really sure— you couldn't care less that you're uncertain which and where to compare this feeling to. His gaze softens, "You are so, so pretty. Can I kiss you?"

He traces his thumbs against your cheeks, and it urges you to look and see but you're so afraid of what you'd find behind his mask. It doesn't matter anyway, not when right now, it's only Jaemin and you existing. All you could think of is that if you try hard enough, if you imagine real hard enough, it will be true. That you could live in that thought — you both are the only people in the world, and it will be true.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't — maybe you don't need it to be. It feels real, so it is real, and even if you are lying to yourself as you say it, nobody has to know. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present moment. Trust the angel to say to you the filthiest of lies he's held on his tongue.

"Of course," you would have almost begged had he not asked. "Of course you can."

When you can’t let yourself fall but you do anyway, when you can't admit to wanting someone fully, when you're three steps away from safety so you build walls to guard you — when you aren't brave enough to dream, when you pretend not to yearn, when you end up wanting less, what you do is lie. You lie. You lie although wanting less hurts, and wanting less is unstable, and wanting less just makes you want to want more.

You lie.

"I have never been," he gasps and then smiles as he yet again presses a warming kiss against your lips, "so desperately in love."

You lie when you don't dare want — at least, that's what Jaemin does. It's okay, though; it is, because you will always allow him. Because you will always let him. Because you can never deny him. Because you will always want what he wants, too. You ignore the bile coating your mouth and head home with cold fingers.

###

Is love even ever sane? When you think about it, nothing really is. Rewrite that: is love even ever safe?

Jaemin has gravity, and all it does is keep you from running. You try to walk away to save yourself but you can't; you try to show him how cold your heart can get but the ice melts when his fingers run down your spine. His eyes glint in the dark. Unfold for me, it seemed to say, the taste is bitter but chase it. Chase it anyway. And you do. You chase it.

Perhaps it's not love. Perhaps it's just you. Whatever the case, all of it boils down to one conclusion: you're in danger.

"Jaemin?" You call, the both of you lost somewhere in the middle of highs and lows of sharing a deep, passionate, and confusing kiss. You smile sweetly and cup his cheeks when he responds with a smile just as saccharine, and you whisper, "I hope you think of me."

He makes a confused but endeared sound, and you laugh a little.

"I hope you think of me all the time and it fucks you up."

Somehow that makes him want to kiss you more, and who are you to deny him and how are you going to do that when he's on it now and it's all you ever wanted? Chase it. Chase it. Chase his lips when it leaves yours because you are his hostage but he is trapped. Chase his lips because this might be the last time and all you want is to be his ghost, to be the name he calls for even when he's with someone else, to be the only one he feels even when others touch him. Chase his lips until he puts pressure on your waist so that he could go back to the shore, breathe a fresh set of air.

Jaemin runs a hand through his hair, catching his lips between his teeth as he prepares himself for sincerity; it seemed like a lie, but it doesn't go away long enough that you know it's true when he nods — "You fuck me up all the time."

###

"It's two a.m and I'm on my fourth coffee because, you know, Carpe Diem!"

You grimace, "Stop using Carpe Diem to excuse your stupidity."

Jaemin doesn't laugh, but he flashes that half-smile he knows drives you wild. The cafe is quiet as it holds no one but the two of you, the barista and the student at the counter — the sound of coffee brewing fills the void of your silence, but it's quickly muffled out by Jaemin's sudden chuckle.

"Might mess around and kiss you." He rests his chin on both his palms, caught in a reverie and actually thinking about it. He sighs dreamily, "The ultimate Carpe Diem."

"Dumbass." He laughs more at your bemused tone, but you don't. It's not funny. "What, you think I'm easy? What am I to you, 'min?"

It's an unnecessary outburst. You could let him have you just like always and it will be done, it will be over, you can forget it. You could let him kiss you just like how you want it and you could move on with the moment but for heaven's sake, you don't want to. It is an unnecessary outburst, but God, this unnecessary is so needed at the moment.

"Tell me." Your breath hitches in your throat as you whisper, "I want to hear what I know directly from your lips. Tell me."

Tell me you don't love me. Tell me that you're just lonely. Tell me that I am nothing but an anchor to hold onto when it's midnight and you're way too cold to be warm. Tell me all the cruel things you refuse to say because maybe what I need so badly is to see you be the liar I know you are.

"There are things that we don't need to say out loud."

A shiver runs up your spine at his smile, and you look away. Genuine is not what you need, but at the same time what you need is the truth — for him to be cruel — so that you could run, so that you could have a reason to run, so that you could convince yourself that you have a reason to run. You have been too willing to bend to his needs, to lose sleep, to lose yourself; what you need is to have a reason to try not to love him, which is to say that you do.

"And sometimes, those things are all that we need to hear so we stop being confused." You return his fond gaze, fingers moving to caress his cheeks, "I'm done trying to guess if you want me because you love me or you're just with me because I'm convenient."

Sometimes you wonder why it is that he has to lie; why does he need to tell you things he doesn't feel? But oh, on some days, you feel like he's not lying anymore. Those days hurt the most. Everything hurts with Jaemin. Everything is painful and beautiful with him.

You shut your eyes, fists clenched — "I'm going home."

At the end of it all, you know that one of you is bound to be either the bomb, or the casualty.

###

"Open the door or you'll have to buy a new one tomorrow," is the threat that makes you let your best friend in even with a heavy heart. To be fair, the door is a beautiful one. You kind of think it's not worth getting the hardest question at the moment, though, when Donghyuck finishes his glass of water and suddenly asks; "Love letters can only keep your heart beating so long, what is so difficult to understand with that?"

He has a way of being blunt, and mostly it's not the best attribute he holds. Donghyuck has been careful with you in all aspects except the thing about Jaemin; he hates him with all he is, and that is odd because your best friend used to love the other. They had dance class together and were even in a team together until you two started hanging out and Donghyuck left; to keep you away, he said. He's no good for you, he said. It was everything but fair but you understand. Dance is one of Donghyuck's many dreams and if he quits it for this reason, you think it's pretty valid. Unnecessarily overdramatic, but still valid.

"I said, what is so difficult to unders—"

"None!" you hiss. "Heaven, Hyuck, none at all! Do you think I'm dumb? Of course, I know that!"

"Then why do you keep holding on?"

Why.. Would it disappoint you less if I tell you that at this point, I don't even know anymore? Because I do know, but the reason is probably better unsaid.

"It's all I have," you whisper, feeling smaller and smaller as time passes. You bite your lips to stop your sobs, "It's all he could give."

"All he wants is to break your heart."

"Then he got what he want," You wipe away your tears. Donghyuck laughs coldly; it's the last thing you need and it runs you over like a car on full-speed, washing over you like cold water. The sad song thrums in your veins. "He gets what he wants every second of the day."

He doesn't even need to ask, but I'll give him the entire world. If I can not give him the entire world, I would give up my whole being. Why would you think that I wouldn't let him break my heart every breath I take?

"He tells you he loves you because he can't accept those words as things he wants to say to Jeno — he does to you everything because he can't admit to himself that it's all he wants to have with Jeno." His brows furrow, "He's in love with Jeno and he can't accept that. He's with you because everything would be easier if he was in love with you instead, but he's not, and he's lyin— why can't you see that?"

But you can see it, it's about as clear as day. It shines above you like the sun and it touches you like ice against your skin, it's a book laid down without all the other riddles. You don't know why you stay — maybe it's his laughs, or his kisses, or his company, or your feelings. Maybe it's everything all at once.

"People see what they want to see," your voice breaks alongside your heart. "Perhaps, I am blind with him, Lee Donghyuck."

###

There's a place where reality is a bit altered and it's everywhere with him.

Maybe it was his bright eyes. Maybe it was his voice. Maybe it's the way he was your home someway; with him it's lightweight, with him it's all happy and too perfect for the both of you. Maybe it's his lies and the way they tangle almost seamlessly, perfect enough that it seems real.

There was a time back then, a faraway memory. The first time you two slept side-by-side, he laid beside the window, and the moon casted pristine shadows on his face. His hair was blonde then, and you both loved and hated the way it fanned like a halo as he laid against the silk-covered pillow. He was sleepy, and you do not know if the moment was meant for you, but it was also the first time he kissed you, and he asked you if you wanted him to love you more.

Yes, you said, testing the waters. Yes, you said, because it is what you want.

He laughed then and he opened his eyes, holding galaxies and untold stories; feelings that are yet to be put into words. "But I do know that I love you too much now, and it would ruin me to love you any more. It would break my heart if it beat for you faster. Do you want that?"

At that point you knew that it wasn't you he's seeing in his head, but yes, you still said, trying to know more. Yes, you still said, because maybe if you pretended hard enough, it will be true. It will be for you.

Jaemin's skin was akin gold, his lips reminding you suspiciously of cherries. "Good," he whispered with his voice something that should be God forbidden, addicting and sticking to you like remnants of honey, "I want that too."

That was place number one; that specific moment in his bedroom that changed your world for the best or the worst. This is place number two, standing somewhere unfamiliar, with him the dullest star you've ever seen. Only three months have passed when you ghosted him and you think he could qualify as a stranger, but he's all too familiar even when he's so... so different. Jaemin's eyes are tired, his skin pale. His smile remains radiant and smug, as blue as his dyed hair, worn in that kind of lazy way he always does.

He laughs, "Missed me?"

You shake your head, "No."

And with that came a step, and with that step you let the truth burn your throat in a manner so similarly strong and unpleasant as your first drink. You step on your feelings, the real ones, and you keep your gaze indifferent. The words echoed in your head as if to taunt you to say them, and you thank the moon that before you could, he crashes his lips with yours.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present time. Run around in circles, pick your poison, pin wildflowers to your hair. Open a book and hide behind it. Adore a hopeless flame — know that you are running out of forever, be a ticking time bomb. Let this be good, maybe not great nor sweet, but let it be good and temporary. Know that someday you'll need something more than the blurred lines between lies and reality, feelings, or just the need for company. Fall in love with Na Jaemin.

[stressedspidergirlsfandomblog]

Anyone else just love that Yennefer is the only person who let's Geralt bitch his fucking face off?

Nenneke tells him to shut up bc she doesn't care and she's not his mom.

Dandelion tells him to shut up bc his feelings about himself are stupid and he should get over it.

Yennefer might kind of ignore him when he's being a brat but she lets him do it.

For all the shitty things they do to each other early on, like.

She's the one who gets livid when he talks badly about himself and calls himself essentially slurs.

Everyone else canonically uses them to describe him or agrees with him just about. Even Dandelion lashes him with it a few times.

I wish like, you can ship whatever, but the hate makes me really sad.

There's so many flawed characters. But like, Yen is so giddy when he finally says out loud that he loves her. She never pushes him to do it. She waits. Years. When he thinks it she acknowledges it. She validates she hears him but doesn't say it out loud back bc he isn't ready.

When they're apart and she finds out he's alive she knows he won't take help with some issues he's created for himself and she says he's too honorable but maybe the person who knows about it could get people to pay him enough to live on for once. Bc she knows he won't get enough for even a healer if he gets hurt.

His swords get stolen and auctioned and she buys them back without telling. She makes sure he gets them back and her messenger isn't supposed to say. (I don't remember if he figured it out or not tbh.)

She keeps tabs on him and lets him live his life when he's not with her.

She has boundaries which is healthy. He knows to leave some things alone. (she also has unhealthy bad things but this isn't a shit on Yen post it's a : why the fuck do you ppl refuse to give her any kind of chance ever?)

She finds out Istredd is a bastard and immediately drops him by fucking messenger bc she's over it that quickly. Like wow that's some shit you said, you're a fucker I'm out.

She can be capricious and cold and nasty. She can.

And the like, short stories really put her in a weird light outside of the one with Istredd in it imo.

But she looks at this broken man who just wants to be a man. And can't see that he is and she loves him and doesn't especially try to change him in any way. She lets him come to her. She doesn't chase him. Doesn't force things on him. (Except fancy clothes and no headband bc it's pretentious apparently)

A guy she saved from an ethnic cleansing is willing to pay Geralt's debts as a favor to her. And she doesn't do that bc it would hurt him.

She drops everything in her life to go get Ciri. Because he asks. Not because she's initially in it for any other reason. And takes on her training, and encourages her to keep up with her sword skills and runs. And while she is harsh and blunt she loves that girl like her own.

When he shares this wish he has with her, what he wishes their life was, he's ashamed and angry at himself. She adds on to it, tells him how beautiful it is. And then asks him to drop it bc she hates letting him down. They can't have that dream and it hurts her she can't give it to him. But she doesn't belittle him, she soothes his agitation and gives him reassurance.

She decides to stop hating Dandelion (who basically sexually harasses her and hopes she'll get hurt in front of him. Ogles her when she's almost raped and will not look away bc he's kind of a dick a lot of the time) because he chose to be Geralt's friend and stay with him and Yen knows how terrified Geralt is of being alone. (he is determined to get to Ciri bc he doesn't want her to be alone like he was). So she puts aside some truly awful shit to make peace with Dandelion bc she appreciates him being there for her ex. Like.

Can we just appreciate that while Geralt and Yen bring out bad sides of each other, they also bring out the good, too?

Like. :/ Can we stop acting like she's this one dimensional bitch with no good attributes? It's 2020.

Remember when ppl could just multiship without shitting all over characters? No? Man I miss that aspect of fandom where you didn't have to demonize someone to justify your ship. I'm tired. I'm stupid for writing this. I know it. But like. :( He has 2 hands. 2 hands fam.

[iiasha-archived]

So, I recently was binge-re-watching Avatar and was wondering how you'd place the SVT members in terms of benders plus non-benders. Vernon really seems like a water bender to me because he's so chill but that also makes me think he'd be Gucci as a non-bender. But Jun as air and Minghao as fire?

AHHHHH omg this is SUCH a good question and i hope you’re ready for the whole ass analysis under the readmore bc i have many Thoughts on the subject 😂 honestly though arguments could be made for any, since i think they all have traits that could fit in with multiple elements!! but anyways longass rambling ahead lmao ❤️

seungcheol

definitely a firebender in my mind, no questions asked, but i could also see the argument for earth

this kind of comes out of his character of being such a great leader

on one hand he has such a passionate and ambitious personality, which is the main reason why i see him as a firebender

especially on stage you can really feel his energy explode

his loyalty also runs soooo deep and one of the things i really admire about him is the lengths he’ll go through to do what’s best for his members. he really does take care of them

so on the other hand, that’s why i also see the argument for earth!

again making him such a great leader, he has a lot of patience and stability

it’s clear that he’s a rock that the others can rely on during turbulent times, and that steadiness is definitely a trait i associate with earthbenders

but overall i think his own personal aspirations and drive make him more suited as a firebender

jeonghan

waterbender! there is a trait that water benders are versatile and adaptable to situations, which i can DEFINITELY see with jeonghan

i mean obviously we speak loads of his cleverness (cheating) and how good he is at speaking out of his ass on the fly

at the same time though i also kind of see him as a flowing river

as in he’ll flow and move in any direction he wants, and is definitely open to change if he is willing to

but god if you try to force that change out of him he is absolutely immovable; he can also be pretty stubborn and relentless sometimes!

and also with rivers how there’s always a destination for it; jeonghan is completely not afraid to do whatever it takes to achieves his goals, which to me is a lot like a river steadily rushing on towards the ocean

even if there are obstacles he’ll do whatever it takes to overcome them (even if it means cheating lmao)

at the end of the day though he’s definitely a healing presence for other members, considering how much they confide in him, which is another property i associate with water 

joshua

now with joshua i’m not entirely sure. i could definitely see him as an earthbender or nonbender

my rationale for earthbender is that he’s just very... grounded

while of course he can be really goofy and playful at times, i think in general he’s very down to earth 

like in interviews and stuff he obviously isn’t the one always reaching for the microphone

and his answers are honestly pretty standard most of the time, i haven’t really seen him try to answer in an outrageous way, especially compared to someone like, say, hoshi lmao

even in going seventeen he seems more content to literally just sit back and enjoy the show, only speaking up when he really feels like it

he just gives off super reliable vibes as well; i mean that’s probably half the reason why he got that gentleman nickname lmao

it’s also this difficulty of pinning an element to him that i could see him as a non-bender??? 

i’m not really sure what traits drive home for a non-bender but that’s just my gut feeling lmao. if he was an earthbender he’d be an incredibly chill one

jun

ahhhhh my boy is definitely an airbender!!

i keep thinking back to that interview where the members were asked something along the lines of whether they had worries or something? i can’t remember the exact wording

and like jun (and maybe vernon?) said no and the others were like “that’s just because he forgets” lmao

he is suuuuch a go with the flow type of dude, and his playful nature really plays in well with the aspect of freedom that’s tightly associated with the element of air

another reason i kind of associate him with airbending comes from the show itself, namely aang’s own personality and how much aang would stand his ground to defend his own beliefs and morals

i always come back to jun’s selfless attitude in cyzj when he had to perform without yanan, specifically the stage where he performed with two microphones to represent that he was still thinking of yanan in that moment

like even if he seems all over the place at times, when it comes down to it he’s really going to do what he believes is right, and can be incredibly stubborn about it too

but at the end of the day jun is a lover not a fighter and just wants everyone to have a good time and god i fucking love him for that

hoshi

what else could our resident tiger be but a firebender

again, the main thing i associate with firebending is high energy and passion and BOY DOES HOSHI DELIVER

but his outrageous outbursts aside i also think there’s a lot to be said of his work ethic that i think really fits into firebending

from the show there is a lot of discipline and hard work that comes with firebending, as fire is often seen as difficult to control

while all the members are obviously hardworking, a lot of them have pointed to him and woozi being the hardest working of them all

hoshi is definitely the kind of dude that throws himself into his work with everything he’s got

and of course the fact that it’s what he loves only helps push that drive and determination even further

i also often think of how hoshi mentions he basically feels possessed when he’s dancing/on stage lmao

but i think that can be attributed to the overwhelming passion he has for the art; it consumes him like an overwhelming flame

wonwoo

for me wonwoo definitely feels like a waterbender

again with the idea of water being adaptable, wonwoo is really good at adjusting to the energies of the others even if he’s not naturally super outspoken himself

he can easily go from low to high just like the tides (haha get it), and if the other members are being super excitable it’s very easy for him to join in on the fun

but on the flipside he also has the capabilities of just completely shutting them down lmao kind of like how he cuts people off in debate night

not to bring astrology into this but he’s also the one helping bring some water into this air-dominated group lmao

so yes, versatile, adaptable, but also really good at literally dousing out the flame when needed

if jeonghan was a river i see wonwoo more as a vast like, in that even if he’s somewhat quiet on the surface there is so much more going on underneath

there’s just something very tranquil about his energies that i think make him very suitable for waterbending

woozi

honestly woozi is another one that’s hard for me to place, but i’m going to go with firebending on this one, although i can also see earthbending

i know i’m sort of sticking to the same traits for these lmao, but woozi is kind of that perfect combination of being super well grounded and stable vs just sooo so passionate about his work

he’s always throwing himself into his music like never has anybody questioned his absolute passion and determination for it

as such it sort of makes me lean towards him being a firebender, but a more like... aloof one i guess??

kind of like uncle iroh, except instead of tea it’s music lmao

and if you hurt the people he cares about it’s going to get SERIOUS because how DARE you

but that sort of distance is also sort of why i see more earthbending traits in him; he’s more comfortable with sticking with what he’s used to, and isn’t as inclined as others to go outside his comfort zone

and why he facepalms so much when the other members do stupid shit lmao

seokmin

seokmin i actually have no idea

if i had to pick an element i’d say either water or air, but somehow neither of those completely fit either. so maybe even a nonbender???

like for water, i see it through his kind and healing soul and heavily relate that to the healing properties of water

he’s also just so expressive, which honestly to me can be represented in the many different forms of water there are

like he wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve, and i feel like that is something that could be reflected in waterbending

for air, i see it through his playful and joyful personality and the childlike innocence he embodies, like a playful breeze on a warm sunny day

like jun he’s completely a lover not a fighter, and if he had bending it’d be more about mediation than confrontation

but at the end of the day i think he’s more grounded by his emotions which is why i feel slightly more inclined towards waterbending, but honestly it’s still pretty 50/50

he’s also one of the members i can definitely see being a nonbender; i don’t have anything to back this up but it’s kind of just a gut feeling lmao

mingyu

interestingly enough i kind of see both firebending and waterbending for him, and kind of like seokmin i’m very 50/50 on the two

for firebending i actually literally associate him with fire, and my nickname for him is also spicy red hot chili pepper lmao

i also see fire with him because almost everything he does is done with extreme eagerness and curiosity

for me he almost encapsulates the tantalizing allure of playing with fire, and how he wants to try his hand at experiencing many different things as quickly as fire spreads from one interest to the next

for waterbending though it’s kind of for the exact same reason

i keep preaching about the versatility and adaptability of water, and what better aspect to associate with mingyu’s continuous curiosity for trying new things? 

so it’s a mix of the two due to the passionate determination behind his desire to literally get his hands on everything

and there is no end goal, it is just an all consuming fire that is hungry for more until there is none left

minghao

okay i see minghao as a firebender as well and also this is a slight nod to the minghao = zuko agend LMAO

but kind of in the same vein where iroh/zuko used elements of waterbending in their firebending, i think minghao would also have a lot of the more fluid waterbending techniques in his firebending

like where traditional firebending is perhaps more of a hard, fighting style, minghao gives me a much more fluid vibe

this also comes out of his artistic style with contemporary dance and abstract art, and his passions with developing it

i’m not totally sure how to explain this but to me his artistic expression has a lot of fluid movement in it in which the driving force isn’t the necessarily the user/artist (minghao) but more about where those energies want to go themselves

compared to hoshi where i said the fire consumes him (in a good way), minghao’s fire is more directed at releasing the energy where it needs to be released and not forcing it

i think that’s also why minghao finds a lot of stress release in drawing and art

so still very passionate, very hot, but fluid, like a dancing flame

seungkwan

seungkwan i see mainly as an earthbender but maybe with some fire as well!

a lot of this comes with just how extremely disciplined he is with pretty much everything

even if he is extremely witty and incredibly funny on variety shows i think a lot of it comes out of him just being extremely socially aware, or like aware of his surroundings if that makes sense??

one of the key elements of earthbending is sort of taking in the environment around you and waiting for the right moment to strike

and for seungkwan i think he just has so much natural wit and knowledge that he is able to always come up with the right thing to say at the right time

but i also see some firebending in him because he also gets easily frustrated lmao

like how he gets so easily flustered when he does say the wrong thing at the wrong time and it doesn’t get the reaction he wants

he wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve a lot like dk but tends to also act on them, which to me is aspects of firebending shining through

vernon

personally for vernon i very much see air bending!

again a huge association i have with air is also the element of freedom, and kind of literally doing whatever you want, which i think suits vernon SO well

we always talk about how he’s just simply vibin’/off in his own world and for me there is no element more suitable for that then airbending

he has the kind of energy where everyone else is forced to go at his own pace; you can’t really force it

to throw another pun in here it’s literally like trying to fight the wind: completely useless

but it’s not necessarily met with resistance; vernon has his own ideas but he’s definitely extremely open minded to others and could be swayed given a good discussion

like while jeonghan also goes at his own pace, it’s often feels like it’s towards some directed goal, again like a flowing river. but with vernon, i feel like he’s literally just kind of doing whatever, in the same way that the wind never has a destination or specific course

it’s more about exploring the possibilities and just straight up enjoying life

dino

dino is definitely a boy of the earth for me hahaha

while he is definitely just as passionate about things as his other members, his energy comes off more of a really steady and powerful determination

there’s this sort of strength and endurance with dino that for me makes him extremely suitable for earthbending 

like i think a large part of it comes from the fact that he has very clear goals and a steady mindset way of achieving them

like if he says he’s gonna do something then he’s going to do it, and also the way he always stands his ground when it comes to confrontation

he’s the guy who’s gonna absolutely speak his mind but at the same time be really open minded to other opinions

like he obviously gets teased a lot as the maknae but he takes it all in good stride and then throws it back with just as much force you know lmao although maybe not as much in recent episodes where woozi has just completely obliterated him with the razor

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[crowned-ladybug]

My Big Ramble about the demon cultural significance of shed antlers/horns/whatever, copy-pasted straight from discord and then edited a bit bc I wanna have it somewhere where I can show it to ppl but also I'm not retyping this in a hundred years:

Okay so. i was thinking of the problem of What The Fuck do antlered demons do with their antlers once they shed them

And ofc it changes from culture to culture and also demons who don’t live in communities with a lot of antlered demons might just. not attribute any significance to it and just treat it like cut hair and nails and whatnot, since for non-antlered demons this just isn't a Thing that ever needed a Solution or cultural significance

(sidenote, Caesar himself also lives/lived in an area where most demons have horns or no horns/antlers at all and he got separated from his cultural roots as a kid bc of what happened to his family, so what remains with him is mostly a mix of what he still remembers (sadly clouded over by  trauma) + how he let that keep growing + what others do around him that he just. adopts p easily)

One of the things in demon cultures that give any significance to shed antlers is that keeping your most recent shed ones until your next shed means like. accepting death or at least the inevitability of it. Bc in those cultures, a tradition upon death is building a pyre decorated with plants/fabrics/etc that the deceased demon loved/would have loved or was associated with, and it’s topped with their shed antlers if available, and then ofc the whole thing burned. The like mythos around it is that it’s supposed to be the burning of mortal ties and remains so that the deceased’s spirit can go free, without having to desecrate the body or needing to have a body around at all (both bc bad shit happens and bc i feel like with summoning demons being A Thing, ppl just Not Coming Home is a lot more ingrained as a possibility in demon consciousness than it is in human)

So in those cultures, keeping your last shed antlers somewhere easy to find is like. making sure your loved ones can bury you properly if you were to die this year. It’s not necessarily a sad thing, it can v much just be. acceptance

Another thing that can happen depending on culture is keeping at least one antler from a significant year of one’s life, let that be bad or good. One may keep the antlers they shed after their child was born or after someone passed away, a first successful contract or a significant change - anything that feels like a turning point in one’s life. These antlers are kept as reminders and symbolic like. physical manifestation of those memories that are said to have grown into them like how the rings in a cut of tree tell you of its life. When it comes to the worst times, one may also choose to keep the antler as a reminder that they had survived and kept growing despite everything, and they can do it again

Depending on the exact reason they're being kept, these antlers may become displayed decoration, usually with added decorative elements like lines of beads, ribbons, or even dried flowers. A family home might have a mismatched pair of antlers displayed over the fireplace for example, the shed antlers of the parents from the year they married! Once again depending on the story behind them, these antlers may also become memorabilia passed down through generations

And with the belief that your memories grow into your antlers, if something horrible happens and one swears revenge for it, and then sheds their antlers, they could decide to use the shed antlers to incorporate them into an actual item with use instead of decoration, something that has something to do with the revenge, like a lucky charm (potentially to destroy once the revenge has been seen though) or a weapon (see kinda how in brother bear Denahi ties Kenai’s totem necklace around his spear which he uses to try and kill the bear that killed his brothers)

And going off of that - it'd make a lot of sense to me now for Caesar to have something like that after the death of his family. i doubt he had the skill/knowledge to make his own shed antlers into an actual Weapon, but a charm to serve as a reminder i guess?? a physical manifestation of all his grief and anger, to be finally destroyed when he sees his destiny through??? yeah i can v much see that. Just a small shed antler, maybe half the size of Caesar's current ones originally and now broken in half to be easier to carry around, the names of Caesar's lost family carved into it clumsily. Once Kars is dead and Caesar can truly live happily in the castle, during one of his trips back to the demon world he remembers it and brings it back home. and since he's got his revenge, he's got so much more too, and this chapter of his destiny is fulfilled, he finally gets to burn it

And the original idea i had about this regarding Caesar that still stands is that. we joked about what they do with his first shed horns, the one intact and one broken one, and yeah they still goof around with it and trick poor Speedwagon and all that, that doesn't change. But since the past year had been one of the hardest years of Caesar life, and the year when so much significant stuff had happened to him, i feel like he'd keep it. He doesn't display it anywhere, maybe bc he's not used to seeing demon antlers being displayed anymore (esp as something positive instead of. hunting trophies), maybe bc this one just feels more private than that. He ties some beads on it that feel Right, and then wraps it in some pretty fabric to protect it and hides it safely in the depths of a drawer

Also, based on this, a large part of demons celebrate their new year around antler shedding season?? While not all demons have antlers, it’s something that started in the communities of those who do and slowly became universal and more detached from tradition as a more widespread measurement of time and whatnot became established ages and ages ago

And, okay, additional new stuff:

Taking/owning a demon’s shed antlers is not really something you should do?? Like, as far as being appropriate goes

Taking a shed antler without express permission is seen as a violation of like. bodily autonomy and shit and a form of trophy keeping that’s just really Not Good if you think about it (with the exception of parents keeping their children’s baby antlers and whatnot). Giving away your shed antler to someone however is something of Huge significance bc it’s like you’re handing someone a lil piece of you. Mostly it might happen when someone has had a huge positive impact on the year of your life that that antler comes from. Giving someone yout antler is a huge sign of gratitude and love and respect and it is not to be taken lightly

Giving someone your broken horn/antler however has a Completely different meaning. It’s also a lot more archaic and rarely actually practiced anymore, and it means you’re swearing revenge on the person you’re giving your broken horn/antler to. It once again builds upon the belief of memories growing into the antler, and you’re handing this person the physical manifestation of the horrible things they have done to you, as a reminder that you will come and take revenge on them someday. (It is/was most often done after events that actually resulted in that horn/antler being broken but in extreme cases one might choose to break their own horn/antler for the sake of this tradition, which is seen as like. extreme dedication to this revenge, to the point of being willing to dedicate your whole existence to it and letting it consume you). Broken horns are also typically delivered by mail/a hired messenger instead of given in person

There are also ofc sayings in demonic languages that reflect these traditions/beliefs. “Keeping/holding onto one’s antlers” means being really old/being on death’s door (kinda swallowing the meaning of having made peace with death and somewhat distorting the tradition itself in everyday life). There’s sayings about giving someone your antler/your antler belonging to them that are great declarations of love (not necessarily romantic) and “having one’s horn broken” is euphemism to some great tragedy happening to that person. “No need to break your horn/antler over it” means to stop making a huge deal out of a small slight

[writing-for-amusement]

Commission for Confidence, 7

Summary: Y/N has been struggling with her self-esteem for years. After incessant pushing from your best friend, Y/N decides to commission an artist to draw her, expecting everything to happen via Internet. However, when your phone is stolen, you try to cancel the commission, but Peter Parker has other ideas. He quickly becomes enraptured by you, and a friendship forms easily. Will it lead to something more? Or will your past fears get in the way?

A/N: Okay, so, here is the next chapter of CfC! It’s a really long one because I have no self control and couldn’t find a good place to cut off (honestly, I’m not SUPER happy with where it IS cut off), but I hope you all still like it! Make sure you read my warnings, though, because some violence does occur.

PLEASE let me know what you think!! I’m desperate for validation; you can always message me, or send me an anon, or put it in the tags of a reblog, or whatever!! I do read every response to my writing, so I’d love it if you could give me some feedback or just some sort of response!!

As always, if you want to be tagged, just let me know!!

Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @scatterbrainedgenius, @jordyns-library, @wildfirecracker, @pastlives-purplesouls, @maybemona, @hotchocolattee

Word Count: 4765

Warnings: robbery attempt, violence, depictions of violence, some blood, hospitals, Peter being cute and silly and worried, some awkwardness, some self-doubt at the end, disassociative episode, some anxiety, some lame nerdstuff at the beginning bc I’m the author and write what I want, swearing

A few days later, on Thursday, you looked up to see your Edith at your door, a package in her hands. With an excited shout, you got up and hurried over to her. Your supervisor chuckled at your actions, pretending to hide the package behind her back.

“Edith,” you pouted as she kept the box with a teasing grin.

“Fine, fine,” she acquiesced, handing you the box. “Now you can start actually texting that boy instead of emailing like you’re old. Don’t email like me, don’t be old.” Edith widened her eyes as if picturing deep, dark horrors, and you laughed at her.

“Email is still perfectly acceptable, Edith,” you chuckled, trying to push the topic of Peter right out the window.

It didn’t work.

“It’s not acceptable when you have a crush on a handsome man!”

“Edith!” you chided, fumbling with your box to try and maintain composure.

That also didn’t work.

“I’ll leave you to your phone,” Edith cackled, winking at you before leaving.

You muttered to yourself and sat down at your desk. It didn’t take long to get your new phone up and running. As it sat on your desk, you sent out an email to your coworkers to inform them that your phone was back in business again, with the same phone number as before. It was nice to be easily connected to Monica again, and it was nice to be able to play your mindless little games when you needed a break from reading.

And, well, it would be nice to be able to talk to Peter without needing an Internet connection. The two of you had been emailing back and forth rather consistently since Saturday, and you had plans to meet up for a movie/game night at Peter’s place on Friday. Ned had finally returned from his business trip, and Peter really wanted you to meet him and his Aunt May, who would be at the movie/game night as well.

You’d been hesitant to accept the invitation. Even though you really liked Peter (probably too much considering how long you’d known him), you were always nervous about meeting new people. But, after encouragement from Monica, and reassurance from Peter, you agreed to go.

You emailed Peter, telling him your phone number, and tried to get back to work. You tried, you really did, but your brain was jumping around like a happy rabbit.

You sighed and sat back, pinching the bridge of your nose. Your lack of focus could also be attributed to the ache in your eyes from reading too much. This job was amazing, one of your dream jobs, but sometimes it was hard to deal with because it did leave you with aches and pains, both in your eyes and your lower back. Then again, you’d always had a bad back.

Your phone dinged and you opened your eyes. You had a text message from an unknown number. Upon opening the message, you saw it was a message from Peter.

Peter: Heyyo, Y/N! It’s a-me, Peter!!!

You chuckled and wrote back: Hello, Peter, it’s a-me, Y/N, the Wario of the world.

Peter sent back several shocked and angry emojis, making you chuckle again. Then, this message arrived: How dare you. You are my Mario AND my Princess Peach. Never slander yourself in my presence again.

You laughed loudly, tilting your head back. You couldn’t help the heat that came to your cheeks and you typed out your response: Or what, I’m going to be turned into Bowser?

No, you’ll get a strongly worded letter and a disappointed look

You rolled your eyes and tried to control the beating of your heart.

I cannot believe you think you’re Wario, Peter then wrote. You are the shining light, the Princess Peach in “Paper Mario and Thousand-Year-Old Door”, taking charge and doing her best to save herself while stuck on the moon.

A snort escape your body and you shook your head. You’re ridiculously silly.

But you’re the one that decided to like me and be friends with me, so who’s the REALLY silly one here????

It took you a minute to think of a reply. In the end, this is what you sent: … fair point.

Peter simply replied with a bunch of emojis, rather nonsensically, but it made you chuckle. After sending back a few emojis of your own, you told him that you needed to get back to work and be productive for once.

Fine, leave me, Peter wrote. I’ll wither away, but go be ‘productive’, I guess. ‘Responsibility’ is important, I GUESS

You almost cackled with laughter at his dramatics and told him to hang tight, because you’d be back soon to revive him.

Mouth to mouth better be in order, I think I’m dying…

You rolled your eyes and put your phone on silent so you could get some work done.

Of course, you ended up being restless again, because you were thinking about his demand of mouth to mouth. Was Peter just teasing, or was he flirting? Was this what being friends with Peter Parker was like for everyone? You had no idea, and those thoughts were crowding your mind after a few simple minutes.

Then, your savior arrived in the form of Arthur, your beloved coworker. He knocked on the frame of your door as he leaned against it, making your head jolt up in surprise.

“Hello, dear,” he greeted you softly in his London lilt. “You doing alright there?”

You smiled at him, probably a little raggedly, and shrugged a shoulder. “Not really,” you admitted. “Can’t focus, my brain is being too loud.”

“Then it is a perfect time to come on a coffee break!” he announced, striding in and trying to pull you from your chair. Since your chair had wheels, it simply went along with you, making you laugh.

“Arthur, let me get up! You know that the chair will barely fit in the break room, the door frame is only barely big enough,” you giggled. “We all remember what happened the last time you tried this stunt.”

The man pretended to look insulted and dropped your hands. “For your information, we’re going to a café for the coffee break. Get up, let’s go.”

You chuckled and stood, gathering your purse and phone; you made sure to pack it in the bottom of your purse, just in case.

As you followed Arthur out of the office and to the elevator, you said, “Are we going to bother poor Charlie at work?”

Arthur turned around with wide, dramatic hazel eyes. “What? No, no, why would we do that? No, we’re just going to get coffee. I don’t even know if Charlie is working today.”

You giggled into your hand as you entered the elevator. “Arthur, it’s his café. He works every day except for weekends.” Of course, you knew he knew this.

“I would never interrupt Charlie at work, how could you possibly assume that of me, I am hurt. I’m truly hurt. How could you. I am always professional.”

You laughed at the deep voiced man acting like a dramatic Shakespeare actor. The two of you made small talk as you walked the two blocks to the café, Bean Me Up. It truly had amazing coffee, and if it had been a bit closer to the subway station, it was where you would have suggested to meet Peter because of its inherent nerdiness. It was quite popular.

Arthur opened the door for you, the scent of coffee washing over your body and relaxing your shoulders. It was a small place, one you had always enjoyed visiting, and it wasn’t too bright or too dark. At the moment, there were a few people lounging around.

“Oh Charlie!” Arthur sang out in his deep voice, nearly skipping to the counter. You were confident that if he actually had been skipping, his suit would have ripped.

Charlie, a stocky man with his dreadlocks in a ponytail today, looked up as he heard Arthur. He rolled his eyes but there was a small smile on his face.

“Wow, Arthur, what a surprise,” Charlie drawled, smirking. “Second time today, do you have a crush on me or something?”

“I would never, you’re simply not my type,” Arthur teased.

“What is your type, then, gorgeous?”

Arthur pretended to think about it, and you smiled. Their interactions were always amusing to watch, to say the least.

“I like Jamaican-Filipino men that own their own business and make the best coffee in the entire damn city, with dreadlocks and glasses and a scar on the left eyebrow,” Arthur finally stated, nodding to himself.

“Oh my gosh, just greet your husband already!” you exclaimed teasingly, gently pushing the man’s shoulder. “I want a coffee.”

“Y/N!” Charlie exclaimed, rushing around the counter and completely bypassing his husband to wrap you in a hug. “I didn’t even see you; this big lug was in the way. How are you, darling, is this one still being annoying in the break room?”

“Oh, you know,” you joked, “just always making my life difficult.”

“Hey!” Arthur protested, though you both ignored him.

“Aw, sorry, he can be like that. The other day, he—”

“We’re not telling that story!!” Arthur interrupted abruptly, turning his husband away from you forcibly. You laughed loudly and Charlie winked at you.

You and Arthur ordered your drinks, and since Charlie wouldn’t let you pay, you shoved a twenty-dollar bill in his tip jar. As you and Arthur sat by the window, enjoying your coffee slowly (Thursdays were always slow days at the office, and Edith knew the power a break could have), you looked out to see four people in masks approaching the shop.

“Charlie!” you barely had time to shout as the men burst into the café. They waved large guns around and started yelling.

“Everyone, get down!” one yelled above the others. The other people had already scrambled to the floor, their hands over their heads. It was deadly quiet in the shop once everyone was on the floor; you and Arthur, however, were behind the men, sitting at your table in shock, and for some reason, you were ignored.

You shot Arthur a look and he nodded subtly, slowly reaching for his phone and texting Edith to call 911. She immediately responded with a thumbs up, but Arthur’s phone was on sound, making the robbers turn around.

“Hey!” one yelled, striding forward and shoving Arthur down to the floor. “You think you’re hot shit, you fucking piece of shit? Pulling shit, calling people?”

“I-I didn’t do anything!” Arthur protested.

“Get on the ground!” a second guy walked up to the table, talking to you.

You didn’t move.

“I said,” he growled, grabbing you by the hair, “get on the ground!”

“Leave her alone!” Charlie shouted from the counter, where he was slowly complying with the leader’s demands.

“Oh, why should I?” the guy still holding you by the hair asked. The gun was pressed to your head and the man growled, “Hurry the fuck up.”

“Look, we don’t wanna shoot anyone,” the leader was saying, “just give us all the money in the entire store, okay? Go to the safe and get that, too. Or we’ll start with her.”

Tears were pooling in your eyes from the force of your hair being gripped so tightly, but you could hear sirens in the distance. As you were trying to relieve the pain from your roots by pulling your knees under your body, you remembered a video you’d once watched. It was a risky idea, but perhaps you’d be able to turn the situation around.

You quickly rammed your elbow into the back of the man’s knee; he crumbled, releasing your hair. You grabbed his gun and threw it at the man that was standing by Arthur, knocking him to the ground. It was that moment that Spider-Man burst through the window, sending glass flying everywhere.

The superhero was webbing up the two guys that were standing as the one you’d hit in the knee turned to you with fire in his eyes. You raised your arms and curled your body into yourself to protect your organs as he kicked you in the side and back.

The café was full of sound again as people were yelling and you felt the vibrations of people running outside, but you were still being kicked at. You remained in that position even when the kicking stopped, but the sounds were still in your ears, and you didn’t want to risk anything. You stayed like that until the vibrations from the floor calmed down.

“Shit, Y/N, are you okay?” a weird voice asked, and strange feeling hands were gently touching your shoulders.

You opened your eyes and saw Spider-Man, looking at you with wide white eyes. He seemed more panicked than you would have thought, especially since no one had been shot and the police had already arrived to take away the webbed criminals.

“I-I’m okay,” you muttered as you sat up.

“Y/N, you’re bleeding. There’s glass in your face and your hand.”

You looked at your hand and were shocked to see that Spider-Man was right. There were little pieces of glass in the back of your hand and down the outside of your forearm. It was from when you’d dropped to the floor in a ball to protect yourself.

“Well, would you look at that,” you blinked.

A paramedic approached you at that moment, making Spider-Man back up. “You’ll take care of her, right?” the hero asked the professional.

“Of course, Spider-Man. Leave it to me, thank you for stepping in. It would have been a lot worse if you hadn’t showed up,” the paramedic said.

“Thank you, Spider-Man,” you said quietly as she helped you up.

“Y-you’re welcome, Y/N,” he stuttered, backing up towards the broken window. “Stay safe out there.”

You barely heard him as you walked slowly with the paramedic, Siska, outside the café. Arthur and Charlie were holding each other as they were looked over by another paramedic, and thankfully they both looked okay. Arthur had a few small cuts from broken glass, but he didn’t look too worse for wear. Charlie looked stressed and scared.

Siska made small talk with you as she looked over your injuries; she was worried about the glass in your hand and face and the bruising forming around your midsection. So, Siska accompanied you to the hospital, keeping you distracted from the creeping pain by telling you about various Indonesian foods that she missed from visiting family.

Arthur called you as you were waiting for a doctor to come into the room, and you answered right away, still rather numb and in shock.

“Are you okay?” he immediately demanded.

“Y-yeah, I’m okay. A doctor is gonna look over my injuries and stuff, remove the glass and shit, make sure I don’t have any broken anything.”

“That’s a relief,” he breathed out. Then, “What the FUCK were you thinking?”

“W-what?” you stuttered, nearly dropping your phone from your good hand.

“There were four men, Y/N! FOUR of them! And you thought it would be a bloody good idea to try and debilitate one, as if that would’ve made a difference!”

“Arthur,” you began in a deadly steady voice, “if you keep yelling at me, I will hang up this phone right now and not speak to you for two weeks.”

“Stop berating her,” Charlie’s voice said from the background. “Let me talk to her. You’re being unhelpful, and I know that’s not what you want. Go sit, okay, babe?”

Arthur muttered something that you couldn’t quite make out, but the phone was handed over to Charlie.

“Look, Y/N,” the man sighed, “I do admit, the way you went about things was reckless, but it was also pretty smart. Thank you for that. Now, tell me what’s going on.”

You told Charlie everything that you knew at that moment, though you barely registered that you were talking. When the doctor entered, you said goodbye to Charlie and told him to take care of himself.

“Alright, let’s get a look at you,” the doctor said as she entered. “I’m Doctor Miriam Finestein; Siska told me what you did today, and that was pretty brave.”

Your faraway look and mumbled, “Thanks,” did not go past the doctor. Her eyebrows furrowed as she took you in, the way the pieces of glass were sticking out from your skin and slowly bleeding, the way you seemed to have no focus whatsoever.

“Y/N, right?” Doctor Finestein confirmed, walking forward slowly. You nodded, trying to force your focus from the stupid white wall and onto the doctor. “Can I see your arm?” she asked gently.

You held your arm out to her and her warm touch on the palm of your hand seemed to help you wake up. Your vision came back into focus and you blinked as you got a good look at the lovely doctor. She smiled at you as you did, making you feel a little sheepish, but at least now you were alert.

“I thought you might be disassociating,” the doctor told you quietly.

“That happens to me a lot,” you admitted. “But I tried to fight it this time.”

“But I think this was shock induced.”

“You’re probably right.”

Doctor Finestein kept up small talk while she examined your arm and hand; she told you about her cat, Frank, and her dog, Stella. It helped keep you grounded as she turned to your face, making a small clicking sound with her tongue.

“I’m going to take out the glass,” she informed you, rolling back on her chair towards the sink. “It doesn’t look too bad, truth be told. You’ll heal up just fine. Thankfully, there’s only a handful of deep and big pieces. I do want to do a CT scan afterwards on your hand and arm, just to be sure there isn’t any damage that’s not superficial. I’ll also check your ribs for breakage or other such things. Of course, we’ll also patch everything up and send you home with some painkillers.”

“Okay. Uh, how long will it take?” you asked hesitantly.

“Well,” she washed her hands and glanced at you, “it’s not going to be short. Unfortunately, there are a lot of smaller pieces, and there might be a wait for the scan. You could call someone to keep you company, we wouldn’t say no to that. It could take a few hours and it does get a little dull.”

You nibbled your lip in thought; you didn’t want to go through it completely alone, but you also didn’t want to be a bother. As you were thinking and Doctor Finestein was getting everything together, your phone went off. The doctor let you answer it and went out to get a nurse to help her with the glass removal.

You answered without looking, immediately being greeted with, “Y/N, are you okay? I saw something about a café robbery and saw you on the news, is everything okay? Where are you? Thank goodness you picked up!”

You chuckled despite yourself, trying not to move too many muscles in your face. Moving your mouth was fine, but there was a curve of cuts and pieces of glass going from above your eyebrow and down to your cheekbone. Still, as you were now more alert, you were actually registering the glass in your face.

“I’m okay, Peter,” you told him calmly. “I just have some glass in my arm and hand, and some in my face, but I’m okay, really.”

“Oh, thank God,” Peter breathed out. “Where are you? Do you need anything?”

“Actually,” you hesitated, “actually, Peter, if you’re not busy…” You steeled your nerves. It would be fine. “If you’re not busy, could you come and sit in the hospital with me? There’s stuff they gotta do and I,” your throat tightened, and you finally registered how actually terrified you still were, “I don’t wanna be alone.”

“Of course! I’ll be right there; I’m still in Manhattan. Where are you?”

You told Peter the hospital and the room number before hanging up. At that moment, Doctor Finestein knocked and came back in with a smile directed at you.

“We’ll get started in a few minutes. Would you rather check your ribs before or after removing the glass?”

“After, please,” you said with little hesitation. “I really want to get this stuff out of my arm. I’m tired of holding it like this.”

“No problem!” she reassured you. “Is someone coming?”

“Yeah, my friend Peter—”

           You were interrupted by a knock on the door and Doctor Finestein opened it, revealing an out-of-breath Peter Parker.

“And that would be Peter,” you chuckled.

“Jesus, Y/N, I’m so glad you’re okay!” Peter breathed out as he nearly knocked the good doctor over. He was hovering around your injured side, the worry on his face making his eyebrow twitch. Then, as if he realized that he had nearly knocked a doctor over, he spun on his heels.

“Peter, yes?” Doctor Finestein asked rhetorically, a teasing smile on her face.

“Yes,” he puffed out before offering his hand. “I’m Peter Parker.”

“She told me,” the doctor chuckled, “right before you burst into the door.”

“So, when are we getting started?” you asked, trying to diffuse the awkwardness.

“Once my nurse gets here,” Finestein informed you both. Immediately after, there was a knock on the door, and the doctor said, “Wow, Y/N and I just have wonderful timing today, don’t we! Everyone’s appearing at our beck and call.”

“I’ll always come to Y/N’s beck and call,” Peter stated firmly.

Your eyes widened in embarrassment at his strong statement and avoided looking him in the eyes. As you looked at the doctor, she was giving you a knowing look, so you looked at the nurse instead. He also gave you a knowing look, so you resigned yourself to not winning at that moment. Life wasn’t always fair.

You kept repeating that internal mantra as Dr. Finestein and the nurse, Jeremy, worked on removing the glass from your face. It was certainly not a nice feeling.

As you clutched the edge of the table, you felt heat coming closer to your hand. Peter gently touched your hand, forcing it to relax from the table, and your eyes flickered up to him. He smiled gently at you, the softest of pinks gracing his cheekbones, and laced your hands together. His hand was soft but steady, comforting.

“You can squeeze my hand,” Peter said tenderly. “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”

The sweetness of his gaze made your heart melt and you smiled your agreement.

You winced and squeezed his hand as the tweezers removed the glass shards from your face. Doctor Finestein assured you that they were almost done with the face, but you nearly jumped out of your skin as the tweezers dug around in the flesh of your cheek.

“Sorry,” Doctor Finestein tried to calm you. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I should have warned you. Just this piece in your cheek, and we’ll take a break, okay?”

You breathed out an “Okay,” prompting the doctor to go back to finding the glass. Peter rubbed your hand with his thumb, his other hand moving to rub up and down on your back. His touch was incredibly comforting, and it helped you get your breathing back in proper order, instead of the slightly-too-fast breaths you’d been taking.

It was a strange sensation as she pulled the glass out and placed it on the tray, allowing Jeremy to rush in to disinfect the spot. They put a few butterfly closures on your face, and you had to admit that so many hands touching your face was strange.

“Okay, we’ll take a little break,” Dr. Finestein announced as Jeremy finished with the bandages on your face. “I’ll let them know that we need a CT scan so the stuff will be ready by the time we’re ready.”

“Do you two need anything?” Jeremy asked you and Peter. “Water, maybe?”

“I’d love some, please,” you nodded vigorously. Peter nodded as well.

“Alright, I’ll be back in like two minutes,” Jeremy stated, giving you both a thumbs up and leaving the room.

Peter let go of your hand and stopped rubbing your back, clearing his throat and stepping back a bit. The pink that had been on his cheek had become red in a short amount of time, and he seemed nervous.

“I-I’m sorry this all happened,” he said quietly.

You looked at him and tilted your head in confusion. “Why?” you asked. “It wasn’t your fault those guys tried to rob Charlie’s business.”

Peter chuckled anxiously and rubbed the back of his neck. “S-still,” he stuttered, “I’m sorry there’s a bunch of glass in you.”

You shrugged a shoulder and heaved out a sigh. “You know, it could be worse. I’ll take a little glass over the alternative bullet in my skull.”

Peter blanched at that and his facial panic had you chuckling. He began to stammer, and you held your good hand out to him. At the gesture, he blinked in surprise before slowly moving to take your hand. You brushed your thumb over his knuckles, only to be surprised as Peter laced your fingers together again.

“Thank you for your concern, Peter,” you smiled. “But let’s focus on what happened and what’s going on now. No need to worry over ‘what ifs’ right now.”

As Peter beamed at you, Doctor Finestein and Jeremy knocked and entered the room. Peter dropped your hand and stepped back, once again blushing furiously. Jeremy handed you and Peter some cups of water as Dr. Finestein announced that it was time to begin the removal once more.

You chugged your water and put the empty cup behind you before brandishing your arm to the good doctor. You felt a lot better after wetting your throat, and you were really wanting to get home and just go to bed. All the “excitement” of the past handful of hours was taking its toll on you, and you really wanted to go to bed.

As the professionals washed their hands and got everything ready once more, Peter finished his cup and took yours, throwing them away. He laced your fingers together and squeezed as the doctor and nurse began to remove the glass from your arm.

There were bigger pieces there, and each removal stung more than any in your face had. Peter kept squeezing your hand and rubbing your back; at once particularly irksome pull, he started to trace nonsensical patterns on your hand with his thumb. Then, you saw his face light up as inspiration struck.

He unlaced your fingers before turning your hand palm up. “I’m going to do little drawings, and I want you to try and guess what it is!” he beamed at you.

“Okay, sounds like a good idea,” you agreed, wincing slightly.

As Peter traced small designs on your palm, you managed to direct most of your attention to him. You hadn’t even known the doctor and nurse were done removing the glass until a sting of disinfectant snapped your head over to them.

“Almost done with this,” Doctor Finestein smiled at you. “We’ll bandage you up and check your ribs before the CT scan, okay?”

“Sure,” you nodded as Peter gently scratched his fingernail down your palm, obviously vying for your attention. Your laughter at his behavior made everyone in the room smile, and you shook your head at Peter. “So needy,” you teased.

Peter simply winked at you, making blood run to your face and chest, and drew his design once more on your palm.

Sooner than you expected, Jeremy was leaving the room (not without you thanking him, of course) with the tray of bloody glass, and Doctor Finestein was telling you to remove your shirt so she could look at your ribs.

Your wide, panicked eyes flashed to Peter and his red face.

“I, um, I’ll step out,” Peter stuttered, quickly fleeing the room.

You tried to ignore how your heart ached as he left; it was obvious to you that he didn’t want to see any part of you naked. It hurt your heart, but you tried to reassure yourself that Peter was just being polite. It didn’t stop the slight ache in your heart of the rush of anxiety in your mind as you took off your shirt so the doctor could do her examination.

[domestic-harry]

Hi! Can you share which fics you've recently read that you liked? Or currently reading.. I'm so desperate to find something new to read.. Lol thanks :)

Recently Read Fics

This Wicked Game : An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

Hush. : An au where small towns suck, Louis is losing it, and Harry’s just too perfect.

Shake Me Down : Harry’s new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

My heart is breathing for this moment in time : When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Down : Sometimes all Harry really wants is to play with Louis’ arse.

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast : A Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.Featuring Harry’s yellow swim shorts, Louis in snapbacks, and OT5 

Give Me Truths : Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.shenanigans.

Through Eerie Chaos :  For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

To Read Fics

Like an Endless Summer : Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

Carry This Feeling :  Harry knows, objectively, that he shouldn’t try to get his ghostwriter into bed. He knows. But…he finds it hard to resist temptation when Louis waltzes into his home and his life and turns everything upside down. And, as it turns out, Louis might just need a little turning upside down too.

Ace : The sexuality crisis you probably haven’t read.

I want a little sweetness down in my soul : Harry wants Louis to ride his face and it takes a bit of convincing but eventually he comes around. It’s glorious, control is lost, steaminess ensues. Quite hot.

Allies in Heaven, Comrades in Hell : A Catholic school!AU where Louis is finishing sixth form and will definitely be famous someday if Harry has something to say about it, Liam is the racist homophobe that Zayn is dreadfully in love with, and Niall teaches guitar.

Say Your Prayers : The one where Harry, head counsellor at a Catholic summer camp, dedicates his time to what he loves most, year after year. It’s mostly the same every summer; the place, the topics, the games. This year, however, there’s a new assistant counsellor stumbling into his camp, and possibly his heart.

Cold : Harry Styles hated the minister’s son.Louis Tomlinson was brash, obnoxious and possessed all the attributes that Harry deemed unlikable in another person. Unfortunately, they attended the same Bible studies class at church and their mothers were best friends, so avoiding the other boy was impossible

Let Me Put On A Show For You Daddy : Harry is an art (per)form(ance).

Why Can’t It Be Like That : A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn’t need a stylist, Harry’s thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they’re both very wrong about each other.

When We Were Younger : Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

Touch : Harry’s shy and virginal with a past, new on the football team; Louis’ the (experienced) popular star of the team and Harry’s new mentor.

Flightless Bird : AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company’s production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?

Now you know me (for your eyes only) : au where harry and louis are solo artists and they’re not exactly friends per se but they’re friendly, know each other from industry parties and things like that and there’s always been this weird unspoken sexual tension between them and louis’ always kinda confused bc isn’t harry the biggest ladies’ man in the industry?? and one day harry asks louis to collab with him and of course louis says yes even tho he’s kinda surprised and harry plays the song for him and louis is completely blown away by how beautiful it is and it’s a love song and he’s like damn whoever this is about is lucky as fuck bc it’s clearly written from personal experience so they spend all this time together recording and it’s super bittersweet bc they click right away and it takes louis about three seconds to realize he has a huge fucking crush on harry but on the other hand harry clearly had someone in mind when he wrote the song so the last day of recording comes and louis’ like “thanks for having me on the song” and harry just shrugs and is like “well it just seemed fitting bc the song is about you”

All You Can Eat : The one where human Harry seduces his hot teacher professor Tomlinson, who happens to be a vampire