#and i dont think he has resonance either

[moonastro]

groom persona chart

mercury in the house

what is a groom persona chart? this chart exhibits qualities that your husband will have and possible placements that can be seen in their chart. it is simply a chart all about your spouse in a woman's chart. the asteroid groom can be identified using the code 5129.

mercury represents and embodies ones ability to communicate, express themselves and knowledge. in the GPC it can determine how the husband will communicate with you and how he may express himself with words and knowledge.

reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.

mercury in 1st house: the fs may speak their mind and tend to talk about themselves often even if other people dont realise it. can come across as blunt, rough and passionate when expressing themselves. can have dominant facial expressions when talking and therefore it is easy to distinguish what they are feeling or thinking because their face can really tell a picture. fs can communicate with full leader mode meaning that they may like to lead or start conversations with people. they surely know what to say and speak with confidence even if what they are saying may not be entirely true.

mercury in 2nd house: fs may come across as sensual, slow and steady with their words. can have a very aesthetically pleasing tone of voice and the style of their voice can be beautiful. this is a placement where the fs has all ears on him. can hum and whistle quite often to express themselves. usually fs can like to refer back to memories they had in the past and talk about the littlest details about it. fs communicates well in comfort places such as the home or their favourite hang out area or just somewhere that brings them peace and security.

mercury in 3rd house: the way that the fs can communicate is quite easy going and childish like. this doesn't mean anything bad but just means that when they are comfortable around you they will show their laid back personality. can aften joke around with their words and not be serious, can joke around a lot either with their actions or with their words. can be the person to speak their mind and be quite upfront with their words. may tend to speak quicker and just love chatting away with other people. fs can also communicate while changing subjects often which can be confusing at times i reckon. as the saying goes that the mind works faster than their mouth so they may be like ten conversations ahead in their head than what you may be talking about.

mercury in 4th house: often the fs can really deeply be affected by words of other people or the other way around, their words can affect others. fs can talk in a nurturing, caring and attentive form. usually their words can move others and develop trust quickly. fs can keep in contact with their relatives often and may have an attachment to his family and can be in good terms with them. fs can communicate by resonating your experiences with theirs in order for you to not feel bad or upset. they like to take things very seriously and personally so they can tend to also not lie as much. they see emotions as something serious so if you tend to joke about your feelings they may get very concerned.

mercury in 5th house: the entire vocab of your fs can be full of fun and enlighten energy, they have a way of boosting other peoples moods with their words. can tend to have luck with expressing themselves and will most likely attract attention and receive help when feeling off. fs can help people when expressing themselves and is someone who makes other people feel relatable and comfortable around them so people can usually talk freely and comfortably with your fs. fs communicates with a positive energy and that makes them have an audience and make other people just watch them speak for hours. thats how entertaining they are.

mercury in 6th house: often the way the fs can express themselves is by taking care of themselves. they aren't the ones to use much of vulgar words but often times may try to fix situations even the ones that they have no place to be involved in. can come across as neat, sensible and organised with their use of words which can usually make a lot of people understand them more. fs can communicate with lots of focus and with lots of observing so that can make them appear distracted because they are also focusing on what is going on around them.

mercury in 7th house: fs can have a soft but frank way of speaking. they tend to not lie and usually dislike liars in general. are very approachable with their speech and can attract people from their way of speaking. the fs may like to defend themselves a lot and can overthink way too much than needed. can communicate fairly and reasonably, meaning that he will give the chance for you to address your concerns as well as speak his own opinion. will try to constantly be respectable of your boundaries and not go too far.

mercury in 8th house: usually the fs can use a lot of vulgarity in their conversations and aren't afraid to address topics that may be viewed as closed off. can hold their silence well and may speak according to the vibe meaning that they can sense when it is or is not the right time to speak. fs can communicate very deeply with you and may include intense eye contact, deep attentiveness and intense responses. are really more of a listener than a speaker and will have a way for others to keep speaking. this is where manipulation can take place, they can ask lots of questions about people and yourself included which can be targeted in order for you or others to keep talking. thats how they can get a hold of secrets easily.

mercury in 9th house: the fs can speak with big words and can change their way of speaking often depending on the day. can make a person really think and wonder when they open their mouths and say something. can have a very smart way of expressing themselves and may be seen as someone who had many trials in life with the amount of maturity and wisdom they bring to the function. fs can communicate with authority and may speak with great confidence and certainty when speaking and sharing something that they are interested in. they will surely share their interests with you in a way of spreading something fun that they enjoy doing so you can have something fun to do too.

mercury in 10th house: fs will have some uncertainties when it comes to expressing themselves, they like to get to the point and not waste their time dilly dallying with their time. they can present themselves to be blunt and straightforward which can make them easily misunderstood. they tend to be more serious when they are talking and are the ones who will joke around with their actions rather than with their words. fs may take things to heart easily and be quite naïve. communication comes when is needed or rather when the surrounding is professional, but nonetheless are very good with remembering and obtaining knowledge about other people.

mercury in 11th house: fs may like talking to groups of people and tend to be confident in their speech. they like chatting with their friends and people closest to them. their way of speaking consists of being themselves Infront of others, being expressive with their hands and they tend to be ones who talk well but may not be the best at listening, they can forget easily or just dont attentively listen due to thinking about other things in their head. fs communicates irregularly and can change their way of speaking often which can make people or yourself think that it is your fault but it is not thats just how they are.

mercury in 12th house: this is a very clear indication of your husband speaking foreign tongue which means that they can be from overseas. can be quite creative with their words and can often surprise people with their hidden or locked away knowledge. can also be very soft spoken and can rarely raise their voice unless absolutely necessary. usually fs can address the slightest things even if you are having an off day, they realise and notice the shift in energy and make sure to address it. fs communicates with feeling, illusion and attachment that can make people think that there is something between them when there's actually not and thats just how they are. can bring delusion when in fact the fs can not think anything of it and misleads others without knowing.

thank you for reading <<33

[natsmagi]

some more natsume gender posting but i do admittedly get very annoyed when i see people claim natsume hates things related to femininity because thats just. Blatantly not true. i did make a post a little while back talking about natsumes gender generally (might be a lil dated by now but eh), but there are some additional points id like to make

first thing being natsume very much enjoys more feminine things!! particularly things related to baking/gardening because thats what he would do with his mom when he was little!!!! (plus his newly added skill being cooking!)

with this and his undying love for his mom in mind, does it not make sense for natsume to hold feminine activities fondly? not only is he quite good at it, but it reminds him of his childhood spent with his mom!! he looks up to her alot!! and hes also thankful for the childhood he had because it makes him feel more unique. literally how does any of this read as a hatred towards femininity or his upbringing??? his mom is literally his number 1 inspiration and shes the reason he had this upbringing to begin with. Frankly the assumption that he hates feminine things just flat out does not make sense

and he doesnt even necessarily mind things like "-chan" either. though this one depends entirely on the person. for example kanata is allowed to call natsume nacchan but if tsumugi calls him natsume-chan blood will be spilt. to re-emphasize the point made in my previous post; natsumes biggest concern is being viewed as weak. he hates being infantilized more than anything. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" thats not tsumugi feminizing natsume, thats tsumugi reminiscing on the child natsume he used to know. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" it feels like hes not being taken seriously, that hes still viewed as a child, that he hasnt matured (which is also why he doesnt like being called "cute" bc. yknow. kids r cute). and this is a REALLY big insecurity of his. he hates being viewed as naive. In the same vein though, natsume is insecure about not being manly enough too (such as him viewing his inability to swim as "not manly"). Which is also a really interesting point of discussion when it comes to natsumes character! but its important to note that his insecurity in his masculinity does NOT translate to a hatred of femininity. natsumes relationship with gender is an incredibly nuanced one and its so frustrating when people dont even bother trying to read into it and just completely generalize his character

with that said natsume DOES have some internalized misogyny though. But this ones kinda hard to navigate as. well. Almost the entire cast has had some to a certain extent at some point. esp in the early stories. which could all just be bad writing. But it adds to the complexities of femininity and womanhood, how the two are often associated despite being distinct from one another. and with this distinction between the two it adds ANOTHER interesting layer to natsume and his own relationship with gender, because we know he didnt mind being raised as a girl (its just incredibly fucking embarrassing that people know about it), yet his views on gender seem kind of........ Conservative. with him assuming anzu is bad at games bc shes a girl, claiming arashis lying to kids by calling herself a princess, worried that people will view him as less of a man for being unable to swim, etc etc. Like you truly cannot just read ONE story and think you now have a full grasp on natsume and his relationship with his gender. i cannot stress enough how complex it is. but this complexity is exactly what makes it resonate. if you're insecure, it makes sense for you to develop a toxic habit of punching down in order to get higher, esp since we know natsume doesnt handle his emotions super well

this section will be very speculatory and is just my own personal analyzis, so dont take it as gospel. But from my understanding it seems like natsume does genuinely enjoy more feminine things, but hes caught up in gender expectations (potentially due to him knowing both what its like to be a girl and a guy?) that this can cause him to say admittedly quite bigoted things due to his insecurities. natsume is a character that wants to be perceived a certain way; he wants to be cool, mysterious, alluring, but as we should all know by now This is a front he puts on. he very often puts on fronts and lies about his true nature and intentions. which all reads like a fear of authenticity. i dont think natsume genuinely holds those beliefs previously listed, he is just afraid of being vulnerable and, once again, having weak points exposed. he was told to be a girl when he was little and now hes basically told to be a guy without having the Common Guy Upbringing, which can easily turn into developing beliefs of toxic masculinity if you're the type who "plays the part" rather than being your authentic self. hes being told what a man is by the world around him so he tried to shape himself into it to play the part. He can be very blunt and cruel in his words to others, but i personally just see it as a projection from his end. its an attempt at making himself seem better and manlier than he actually is by using his words where hes lacking in action. You can pull off alot of mind games with a simple sentence alone. words can paint a deceiving picture if used correctly, and natsume is a fortune teller; if anyone knows how to say the right thing to get a certain impression from someone its him

i do also think its important to note that as time goes on natsume is starting to express himself genuinely more. Just like the rest of the enstars cast; his story is one of growth and bettering yourself as a person. coming to terms with who you are and learning to let others in

either way. im not one to gatekeep but i need ppl who dont read switch stories to stop speaking so definitively on natsumes relationship with his gender or im gonna start throwing rocks at people

TLDR this shit is NUANCED and to say its 100% this or 100% that does it a disservice to me

[comradekatara]

I believe the way Sokka deals with his trauma oscillates between; my feelings aren't important, and there is no way anyone else feels like this.

There is also a middle ground where 'I wish someone could hug me so I could break down' but also, the feeling of 'I don't want anuyone to seem me like that' rolling around in his mind, and thus leading to suppress everything that he feels and believing he is doing great even though he is not.

What, no im not projecting my trauma to poor characters. I just resonate with sokka a little!

ok rn the film studies professor who lives in my head is yelling CHARACTERS DONT HAVE FEELINGS. obviously fandom as a discursive mode operates under a very different analytical framework but like. you get it.

anyway i reject this premise altogether because i don’t think sokka would ever think about anything in terms of feelings. if he has an emotion he must then explain that emotion as a thinking action or opinion. for example, he doesn’t say to yue, “i feel attracted to you,” he says, “i think you’re beautiful.” and to him, every action can be classified either as logical or illogical. so katara stealing from pirates is illogical because the benefits (katara getting back a piece of her culture that was stolen and studying it to better learn waterbending) do not outweigh the costs (being chased down and executed by pirates), but toph pulling scams is dangerous yet ultimately logical because the benefits (having more money for food and resources) do outweigh the costs (possibly getting caught if they’re not careful). and of course sokka rationalizes his own illogical actions through faulty logical reasoning, such as “i must sacrifice myself at the boiling rock because it’s my responsibility to fix this situation that i caused or die trying.” his logic is sometimes flawed or biased (as all human subjectivity is), but it’s think “i think this and therefore i must do this” rather “i feel this and therefore i must do this,” which is how katara largely operates, as someone who is also far more in touch with her own emotions (a skill sokka lacks to a truly atrocious extent). sokka cannot locate his own emotions because he would first have to acknowledge that he has emotions, which to him is a completely abhorrent thought, even though of course he very clearly does.

sokka definitely doesn’t want anyone to see him break down or be vulnerable in any capacity (he’s only vulnerable in front of zuko because he doesn’t care about zuko and assumes that both he and zuko will die soon anyway), and he’s normally resistant to hugs except for with his dad (although in the finale he does join their group hug and then hugs piandao later, so yay for growth). but it’s true that he keeps his trauma so bottled up that he basically just completely represses it. forgets his mother’s face as a way to cope with his grief. and also in sokka’s mind he literally thinks he’s normal. he thinks that everyone else is a freak and thank god he’s the most normal one here. so it’s not even that he’s like “my feelings aren’t important,” he’s like “feelings aren’t important.” and it’s not that he thinks “no one else feels like this,” he thinks “thank god i don’t have to feel all those messy complicated emotions that other humans do because i know how to completely detach myself from my emotions. it’s awesome how being less human means being less vulnerable. there are no downsides to this logic and it is very healthy.” not realizing that it’s like. actually a very harmful coping mechanism, and also that if anyone is capable of dehumanizing themselves to the point of objectivity (highly doubtful), he certainly hasn’t. but like. try telling him that.

[yellowymellon]

I BROUGHT YALL ANOTHER CRAZY THEORY

not mine actually it's from tieba, ppl are theorizing that sunday is possibly going to get recruited by elio. fascinating yet crazy right? LEMME LAY EVERYTHING DOWN

okay so sunday's design is very much inspired of ena, both his old one and the new one. it has many eyes, the halo, the golden accents. not to mention his personality that resonates with her path.

this will not make sense if u dont pay attention to elio's concept art (most likely will change by the time he appears but) here it is :

notice the amount of eyes, the sun and the similar patterns, a picture of ena for reference :

they also said that ena seems to be holding a puppet string and it could be related to "destiny's slave", i dont completely agree but it's A COOL THEORY!!

i've always assumed elio to be an omen vanguard of terminus the aeon of finality. since he has blessing/curse of seeing the future unlike finality followers i believed he might be our first finality emenator BUT! emenators could follow a different path, it's so interesting to think he could be a finality emenator but an order follower, and it makes sense! who would greatly seek to stop nanook and restore balance? well hooh too but ena would very much dedicate themselves in stopping nanook. now ena is debatably dead but paths don't disappear. but keep in mind we actually don't know which aeon gives the stellaron hunters powers.

so far we don't know what the stellaron in penacony does, it doesnt seem to be the threat itself but the one who obtains it might be dangerous. that's why elio wants the nameless to go after the stellaron. but that doesnt make THAT much sense either, why wouldn't the stellaron hunters themsleves do the job? they're already capable. if u ask me penacony feels the best place for kafka/SW instead, it might be easier for us to obtain it if we help the family but anyways- we can go on forever abt why it's not right so lets force this theory to make sense tehee~

i talked abt how sunday might learn a truth after his "death", gallagher's voice line abt him is "He reminds me of the "Odes of Harmony," but I caught a whiff of something behind the facade he puts on... something real." the odes of harmony is basically a song praising xipe, he means sunday being a reserved religious saint like person, is a facade and gallagher saw something real. based on my post where i discovered that i'm a follower of nous after all (i'm not-) https://www.tumblr.com/yellowymellon/746431759854551040/you-know-it-would-be-funny-if-the-actual-villain?source=share

gallagher might've caught on it earlier and targeted sunday from all the family heads, if he was going to kill in any case he needed the best victims that could give him the break through he needed, robin might've been just the stepping stone to kill the oak family head (important) who conveniently might be the one to side with him (YALL IM COOKING AND IT'S BURNING)

sunday is described as perfect on the outside but secretly a freak, he shows no mercy to what he thinks is wrong and doesn't compromise. but i don't trust him with what he thinks is wrong. he might be shrewd and manipulative fitting for a head, but still young and emotional to make absolutes (judgements). see, the family is a perpetrator to many MANY evil stuff that shouldn't be in his book (literally lol)

u see where i'm going? me neither elio could potentially need to ally with sunday if his stance changes after learning the whole, purest truth

[satorisoup]

Are you writing for Sugawara? If yes, can you write something where Sugawara is the (fem!)Reader's (if you're okay with that?) crush. They're out with friends in an izakaya and she thinks he's flirting with someone else (bc she has zero self-confidence, and why would he be interested in her and so on). And obviously she's sad about it but later she goes outside for fresh air and he comes to find her, somehow admitting his feelings (this is so self indulgent, I'm sorry, I may be getting more drunk than I intended bc my crush is flirting with any girl but me). Or generally any hurt/comfort with Sugawara if you write for him.

Sorry for this weird request, feel free not to write it, if it doesn't resonate with you!

Have a nice weekend.

#SUGAWARAS UNEXPECTED CONFESSION

#A/N : fun fact suga was my first favorite when i started watching haikyuu. dont worry this request isn’t weird at all, dont apologize. hoping things get better for you!

#WARNINGS : f!reader. cursing. alcohol mentions. angstish to comfort. aged up.

tonight was supposed to be an evening to celebrate. to wash away the worries and stress from work. to overcome exhaustion and fatigue for a few hours. to “stop being a hermit and live a little!” as shoyo would say.

so here you are, sitting at a nice table in a popular izakaya spot, your friends surrounding you. cheer and laughter, pink dusted cheeks from the buzz of the alcohol becoming prominent amongst their faces.

and you couldn’t miss the way sugawara chuckled lightly at something asahi had said, the small glass in his hands held by his fingertips, lifting it to his lips as he took a sip.

sugawara was nothing short of all you wanted and more. a silly high school crush carried throughout the years and turned into something more. a burning passion and adornment for him, some might call it love. and you couldn’t really deny it. however, you never really got the chance to tell him either. you remained close friends, spending time together quite often which you were more than grateful for, and you weren’t one to throw it all away.

ice dancing in your neglected glass of “something fruity”, per your request, you watched it slowly melt.

sugawara and a few others stood up to walk to the bar, waving down the bartender to order another round, and you stayed sat in your seat.

your gaze from your cup lifted to glance at him, and honestly, you really wish you hadn’t looked.

there stood sugawara and a random girl who must’ve took it upon herself to come and introduce herself to him. her hair bounced with each step she took and her lips shone from the pink gloss she had on. and sugawara was talking back to her. that casual toothy smile that you’d been admiring for so long was grinning at her, and her hand came up to dance her fingers along his shoulder.

you shouldn’t of felt so fucking bothered. you were hot, sweating almost. maybe it was the few sips of alcohol, or maybe it was the saddened rage that burned in your heart. you silently stepped out of your chair, leaving your bag and heading to the entrance to take a step outside. fresh air.

“so, sugawara, are you single?”

“sorry, but i actually have my heart set on someone already.”

you stood with your back against the outside wall, gaze to the floor. sugawara was someone you desired. someone you loved. someone you had spent countless times thinking about before you went to sleep. but he wasn’t yours.

self doubts had filled your mind more than once, and now wasn’t an exception. you couldn’t help but think. maybe if your lips were shinier, maybe if your put more effort, maybe if you had just told him in highschool you could’ve faced the rejection then.

your eyes stayed trained to the floor, almost not noticing the sudden presence at your side.

“y/n? what are you doing out here?”

oh. the universe really didn’t like you today, you supposed.

“nothing, koshi. just needed some fresh air.” you replied.

“oh okay. well why don’t you come on back inside? you’ve barely touched your drink.” he said, and you looked up to catch his eyes. a soft smile grazed his lips and he gestured his hand to the door.

“i don’t know, i think i might just go home. im not feelin’ the best.” you lied through your teeth.

“are you sure? i mean it’s not the same without you, you know.”

why did he have to be so god damn sweet. he still displayed a little smile on his face and you really just had to wonder why. why was he bothering to get you to stay. why did he care.

“that girl in there seemed to like you. you know you dont have to do this suga. just go have fun.”

you really didn’t care what was coming out of your mouth or how stupid you sounded saying it. you just wanted to go.

“i turned that girl down. i told her i had my heart set on another. so yes, i do have to do this. because it’s you.”

you practically choked on nothing as your eyes darted to suga’s. he held that kind smile, a soft hand held out to you, beckoning you not to leave.

“what exactly are you saying suga…”

“im saying i denied her for you. you’re the one my hearts set on. so please, if it’s mutual, come with me inside.”

suga stared at you with pure sincerity, corners of his lips never once faulting.

maybe the universe noticed your shitty treatment, or maybe it just wanted to mess with you for a bit of time. but it finally, finally listened to your heart.

“well, it took you long enough, koshi.”

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

What are your opinions on each of the songs? (you can answer with as much or as little detail as you'd like)

Big shocker that the songs from the 2 good episodes are in S and the only one that isn’t is still B tier/sar

The first 2 songs in S made me either tear up/shake violently or cry, and therefore they deserve to be up there IMO. Out for love is also just genuinely catchy and had actual build up to it. Also God “Ready for This” just. OOUGGGHHH IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE A WARRIOR CATS MAP. I like it a lot. You cant have multiple characters sing about working together and expect me to NOT cry.

“Stayed Gone” isn’t one I listen to often but it’s so peppy and fast and full of hatred I can’t help but enjoy it. Also everytime the song starts my brain does this

I dont know anything about Welcome Home

I have. Issues. With “Loser, Baby” but aside from those the song holds a lot more weight to it than I usually give it credit for. And for as cheesy as the start if it is, the line before of Angel talking about self destructing resonates with me a lot. Also Husk lays down in a puddle of vomit and no one talks about that ever.

I think the first song in B is “Happy Day in Hell” and I’m adding it there 1. Because it is the first song 2. It gets a reprise thing 3. Charlie almost gets hit by a truck. Other than that it’s not really my favourite but I respect the impact it has.

“Hell is Forever” just fucks. End of story. Alex Brightman killed it.

“Respectless” is good I love Velvette’s VA, but the sudden start of the song and the ending are so out of left field the first time me and my friends watched this show we had to pause cause we lost our fucking minds. Could’ve been better but I’d listen to it again, yeah.

“Hell’s Greatest Dad” is silly and funny and maybe I’m biased as a violin player and jazz enjoyer but a lot of the instrumental tickles my brain so nicely. I will say though it confuses me so much because why does Alastor care about being seen as a father figure?? My mom said it could just be him wanting to show up Lucifer and that’s it but I dunno.

“More than Anything (Reprise)” AKA “Charlie and Veggie Kiss Scene - Hazbin Hotel”

This song sounds like it’s straight out of Barbie & Th Diamond Castle and I’m honestly pissed the girls in the movie didn’t kiss so I’m coping with this. ALSO THE FACT ITS A REPRISED SONG ABOUT LOVE MAKES ME A BIT CRAZY. I never noticed this was the same song Lucifer sang to Charlie SOMEHOW but that’s actually really cute.

“It Starts With Sorry” Has a big part in Sir Pentious’s character growth and just his character in general. I’ve been working on this in my Pentious rant but I never see people mention how much this song probably meant to him. Yeah it’s super corny, but he was fully expecting to be killed and had just been told to kill himself. This was definitely huge for him and I’m not gonna be convinced otherwise.

“You Didn’t Know” is really good but Lute’s part is by far the best and I pray to GOD she gets her own song in S2 her voice actor can SING. GODDAMN! I am very interested in Lute’s character development and I love seeing what people do with close-minded characters like that and hopefully Vivzie doesn’t condemn her to Vivziepop Woman Syndrome. If she isn’t important in S2 I’m going to be pissed but I dunno maybe S3 if we get one.

“More Than Anything” Wish my dad was like this! This song is incredibly sweet and I appreciate it a lot. Honestly might go way higher on the list if I keep thinking about it.

“Whatever It Takes” Sorry you will never be Imagine Dragons. Vaggie doesn’t sound anything like herself cause her VA is making her voice so much more gruff for her character, which is fine! I like her voice (the voice direction is not very good but I digress) it’s just her voice is so high in this I can’t even tell it’s Vaggie.

“Welcome to Heaven” is boring, but we got a Molly cameo!

“Poison”. Read this and this and this. -10/10. I’d rather make out violently with Elon Musk.

[proseka-headcanons]

OK SO ABOUT PJSK CAST AS GENERAL;

- So in pjsk, our children ofc have their own parents. Some are nice (godbless Ken Shiraishi), some are not the best but theyre trying, but some are just straight up fuckin assholes (looks at mafumom and harumichi).

- But well, not all parents are perfect are they? so all of pjsk's parents are assholes in some ways just bc. (yes even Ken is somewhat)

- Literally i'm only setting this up for angst

- Ok and like, half of the cast's parents dont approve of their children pursuing music or at least try to make them only do that as a side hustle yknow, instead of actually going pro.

- SO NOW THIS IS WHERE MY HEADCANON STARTS;

> The pjsk cast units all hold concerts/shows (except for n25, but sometimes they perform music live)

> None of the parents ever came to them (except people like Ken, since he's the only responsible adult in this game apparently, and thats a low bar considering who Ken is)

> maybe Minori's mother watched her perform on tv, or Mizuki's parents heard her commotion in their room making music, or smth like that.

> Look i dont read MMJ or L/N stories that much so maybe some of them have nice parents?? im writing this on a whim

> Anyway their parents either never goes or rarely goes, for one reason to another.

> But imagine their reactions, when they finally, finally, decided to make an appearance to their kids' concerts/shows/live;

Imagine Shinei Shinonome, watching his son, who he said cannot pursue music, up there on a live house stage, singing with so much emotions that Shinei can feel it himself. Imagine Harumichi, who goes just to see how "good" his failure of a son is, only to get a fuckin whiplash when he heard his son's powerful singing voice. Imagine Kohane's parents, who always worries about her doing street music at god knows where at ungodly hours, always telling her to just stop, only to gape when they witness Kohane, who used to be so timid, now singing with a voice so loud and so beautiful. And Ken Shiraishi grinning proudly at An and the others bc hey, at this point VBS is his kids.

Imagine Tsukasa's neglectful parents, who never goes to Tsukasa's shows in favor of Saki's concerts, decided to come bc Saki asked them, and can only watch as Tsukasa takes the fuckin stage, like the star he always talks about becoming, and then asked themselves, "what have we miased this past few years?". Imagine Emu's father who never have a very good relationship with his daughter, decided to come to like review WxS performance or smth, only to be surprised when he heard Emu's singing and dancing (Emu's siblings are proud af). Imagine Nene's parents who never thought much of their daughter, one day got an invitation from her, and when they came, they watch in awe as their daughter shows them the reason why she's called the Songstress. Imagine Rui's parents, who cares so deeply about him (i think?) but never goes to his shows, finally has time, and doesn't regret coming as they witness the amazing performance that their son directed.

Imagine Kanade's father, watching N25 live concert on youtube, and slowly, faintly, recalling a familiar soft voice within all the voices who resonates in the live (i think he lost his memories right??? i forgot what happened to Kanade's father). Imagine Mafumom, watching live of her daughter's singing, how much emotion, how heavy the lyrics are, and maybe, just maybe, she for the first time doubted herself a little. Imagine Shinei, who always doubted his daughter, having his jaw dropped bc not only the illustration of the live is gorgeous, his daughter's voice is so filled with emotions that he felt shivers, just like when he heard Akito sang for the first time in a live house. Imagine Mizuki's parentd, who never rlly cared of what Mizuki does as long as she's okay, decided to take a look at her live, only to have their jaws dropped because wow, their daughter's singing is amazing.

- I wanna make scenarios for MMJ and L/N too but i dont read much of their stories 😭

rlly the WxS and N25 also has a little bullshitting bc i dont read all of their stories either. the only scenario im sure would happened is VBS bc i practically read almost all of their event stories, plus the ones in the past that i missed.

- yeah i just want to see pjsk parents seeing how much their children grow and getting a whiplash from it. imagine them reacting to like, all 5 units holding one giant concert. and you can see the contrast, the difference between each unit's parts, but their melody resonates nonetheless.

- also i think i sent an ask about the Shinonomes headcanon but it hasnt been answered? idk if it went through, but i did ask if i can be an unofficial mod there, so once again, can i be unofficial mod Tsukasa? :3

SOBBIBG SCREAMING CRYINH. pjsk parents can suck it tbh but their room for redemption is soooo interesting to me.

[valentiinexo]

I feel like Azriels bonus chapter was so misunderstood by most of the fandom. Especially with Az shadows disappearing with Elain but singing with Gwyn and the fact that people say he only lust for her makes me extremely confused because HOW? I dont really vibe with az and gwyn, like they would be cute but itll just be the same as acosf now that I realize it. and I dont really think Elain is boring, we barely know about her yet and I feel like not all girls have to be warriors, we need something different than what we always get.

welcome to the elain lovers safe space 🫶🏼

as someone who has never been able to relate to the feyres and nestas of fantasy, elain is the ultimate comfort character. and i sincerely don’t mean that in a negative way towards either of them! i’ve just always been a passive, appeasing, non confrontational, people pleaser. in a fight or flight situation im literally always going to pick freeze and fawn. my point in all that is, those are characteristics we so rarely see in fantasy fmcs, elains pov is going to be a breath of fresh air. her arc has such incredible potential to really resonate with and empower the softer girls of the world. like sarah has said, her strength is so different from her sisters in that it comes from always choosing to be kind and loving no matter the challenges she’s facing. i can’t wait to see her in full bloom ✨

as for the bonus chapter, it’s incredibly misunderstood. there are so many things i could say about it, but there are elriels out there who have voiced those same thoughts much more eloquently than i ever could. it’s so clear that he has feelings for elain, but isn’t allowing himself to process those feelings becuase of the whole… everything. it’s been said before that he’s got too many issues with self loathing to be with elain, but you don’t need to be perfect to be loved. and i think despite how much everyone insists he’s obsessed with having a bond, there’s nothing he would cherish more than being told fuck the cauldron, fuck fate, i choose you becuase i love you. and that just brings tears to my eyes 🥹

anyway thank you for listening to my very long ramble, there’s nothing i love more than getting to discuss those two!

[mayhemakinguser]

Nervous wreck alert

ok listen so I was on character ai right (worst beginning line ever like tf u doin on there) and I was talking to *SHOCKER* Scaraboobs for like the 50000th time

And then I told him I loved him and yk what happened? That man MELTED. Like my icecream a few hours ago

HE WAS SO SOFT MY GOD I HAVE TO WRITE ABT IT

So here we go I'm writing this on my goofy ahh phone rn so I ain't proof reading shit

G/n reader go whee

Scaramouchie x reader

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

"You know, I like you," you say with a grin, tilting your head to get a clear view of his face. Those indigo pools that always seemed to softened around you before rolling his eyes back because of the most stupidest thing he has ever heard came from your mouth.

"Really?" Scara snorts, crossing his arms as he raises an brow at you. "What exactly about me do you like? because i don't see anything particularing endearing about me."

"Everything," you say without hesitation.

"That explains so much, genius." Another roll of his eyes. "You have to be specific, or else I will think you're making stuff up."

"Alright alright. I love your personality," you respond, lifting up your eyebrows.

Scara looks at you with a face that says 'be so for real'. "So you like it when I insult you and say degrading things towards you?"

You waggle your brows at him. "Oh yeah. That's my favorite part."

"Youre... " He stares at you with a mixture of shock and baffled. "You are insane."

You burst into laughter, doubling over. "Your face! its priceless!"

He scoffs and turns away, waving you off. "I dont have time for this nonsensical chat. You may leave."

"I ain't going nowhere because I love you pookie," you sing.

Scara turns with a disgusted look on his face, but theres a smile tugging at his lips. "What did I say about you calling me that?"

"Sowwy schnookums."

Scara sighs, exasperated. "You're so annoying and strange. But I still dont understand why you like me out of all people."

"Well, I... i just want to see you happy." You give him a small genuine smile. He studies you for a moment.

"Even after all I've done? People dont view me as a monster for no reason."

"I dont care. I can see the real you underneath all that bitterness. I care for you unconditionally."

"Even if I betray you? I use you for my own benefit?" He tilts his head, watching you. You nod. "Even if I said 'I never want to see your face again'?"

"I'm sure it would be for a good reason. Besides, I would never hate you for it either," you reply, gazing upward.

"How? No one has ever cared for me, even so like me. What makes you any different?" Scara questions, eyebrows furrowed.

You take his hand in your own, and his eyes widen a bit. Suddenly, the world zooms in on the both of you. "Because I love you, Scara. More than you could possibly imagine. I've stayed here for so long because of you. I want to be with you. i want to make you smile and laugh and be happy. I want you to feel better about yourself, to give yourself a break. I never want to hear the words "I wish I hadn't been born at all" from you ever again, because Archons, I love you."

It's like time has frozen. Scaramouche stares at you, silent as a mouse. Eyes wide, breath still. You hold his gaze, hoping he could see the sincerity and affection in your eyes. How your world revolved around his.

And he did see. It was so unfamiliar, so scary that he... he couldnt help but tremble, his hands quivering in your own. What did it mean, to be loved? it was an experience so surreal, Scara was sure he was having a lucid dream or a really convincing hallucination.

"You... love me?" He asks, so quietly, you could barely pick up the words. You nod slowly, squeezing his hand in affirmation.

"I love you," you repeat, so softly and full of emotion.

And it broke him.

He buries his face in the crook of your shoulder suddenly, his hand gripping yours tighter. His shoulders are hunched, and you can feel the heat resonating off his face.

The boy is embarrassed. No one has ever said something of the sort, and frankly he didnt know what to say. You chuckle, running your fingers through his hair reassuringly. It helps, and he stiffens a bit less. A soft sigh slips past his lips. Its surprisingly relaxing, though he would never admit it out loud.

"Its okay, we'll take it slow," you whisper softly into his ear.

"Thank you," he murmurs softly, his arms snaking around your waist slowly.

"I love you too. More than you can ever imagine."

🥰🥰🥰🥰

Unwanders your wanderer

Guys I think I might be obsessed with him

[threadsun]

JDA Asks: "so im back to ask a little request- i was doing some self insert doodles with my oc and Doe and idk how to feel about it- Anyway-- one of them gave me an idea like-

-JDA here-

In one it looked like my oc was comforting Doe for some reason and that kept me thinking so-

im pretty sure Doe wouldnt really care but i mean, hes a regular guy, and regular guys are considered pests in uncanny valley right, so people must talk shit about them all the time and i mean, what if Doe heard all of it???

like again, i dont think he would care at all but LIKE WHAT IF HE DID-- people being mean to his actual species hurts his feelings and hes sad about it :(

so, can i get some headcanons or maybe a little fic where You is comforting Doe ?? :((

-and as always take as much time as you need !!-

-and btw sorry i cant spell anything in english i didnt realize it was rHythm and btw i havent played nightbringer so youve peaked my interest there-"

Oh noooooo poor Doe would be so sad about it I think, especially cause he'd worry it would make You not like him anymore either!!

Oh don't worry about spelling, I'm unbelievably dyslexic so I don't notice when people spell things wrong lmao

Nightbringer is weird for a rhythm game, I think? But you also get to date hot demons so... :3c

Content: feelings of inadequacy, discrimination, emotional hurt/comfort

Usually these things don't bother him.

They roll off him like water off a disconcertingly oily hand.

Like sweat off the brow of a politician.

Like ectoparasites off the back of a whale in a mutualistic relationship with a remora.

In short, usually the cruel things he hears people say don't stick around in his brain for very long. He has much more important things to worry about. Who cares what the Realtors are saying about him when they think he can't hear?

But sometimes... sometimes he overhears something that actually hits a nerve. Something that seems to find a crack in his shell and worm inside, expanding and expanding and expanding until it breaks him open.

He feels like a lobster, when it happens. Like someone has cracked him open to suck out the meat from within. Like there's nothing he can do but lay on the plate and let himself be consumed.

That's how you find him, a puddle of hair and eyes on the floor. He's wailing. That horrible, humid sound that seems to carry for miles. The kind of sound that seems to resonate at the same frequency as your bones.

It's not often that you see him like this. But the stifling heat in the room is familiar. He runs hot with his emotions sometimes, and when he's like this... well, it's a bit like walking into a sauna.

The whole apartment is damp, like it's crying on Doe's behalf. His sobs echo. The pile of him on the floor oozes in a little circle, almost like he's pacing. Like he's restless in his misery.

"Oh Doe..." It's with a soft voice that you speak to him, bracing yourself as you pick up your boyfriend and sit on the couch with him in your lap. "What happened?"

The writhing mass of hair and eyes settles somewhat in your lap. He continues to sob, louder. Tendrils wrap around you, clinging to you like you're his lifeline. All of his eyes are huge, some closed tight as he wails and others watching you, unblinking.

"It's okay, I'm here..." You keep your voice level, soothing. Your fingers brush absentmindedly through the pile of hair.

It takes time. He clings tightly to you, tendrils wrapping around every inch of you he can find. But your presence and your hand in his hair are enough to calm him eventually.

Soon enough, you find the writhing mass replaced with a much more familiar, humanoid form. He sits in your lap, surprisingly light as he folds himself against you to feel small. He wants to be held.

"Hey there," you smile at him, settling a gentle kiss on his sticky forehead. "You're okay, I'm here. You're okay now."

Doe sniffles, wiping at his dry eyes and nodding. "You love me, right?"

His voice is so small, so... broken. He's never this unconfident. Usually, he doesn't question whether or not you love him. Usually, he just knows that you do. But right now...

"Of course. I love you so much." You confirm it for him in a solid voice, refusing to leave any room for him to doubt you.

"Even though I'm... me?"

You frown, holding him a little closer. "I love you because you're you, silly."

Doe manages a shaky smile and a little laugh. "No, you're You!"

You try to fight the affectionate smile and roll of your eyes, but you can't help it. "What brought this on?"

Doe's smile fades and he gets a distant look in his eyes, resting his head on your shoulder. "I overheard some Businessmen talking. They said... they said they felt bad for you. That you deserve better than dating a Regular Guy like me."

Your grip on Doe tightens, jaw clenching in anger. How dare they make Doe feel like he's not good enough for you? Like he's wrong just for being a Regular Guy? Like you would want anyone but him?

There's a whimper from Doe, curling up tighter in your lap. You realise you've been digging your nails into him in your anger, and you release him with a frown.

"I'm sorry." You know he never minds the pain, and the whimper was almost certainly not a bad one, but you feel the need to apologise nonetheless. "You know they're not right, don't you? I can't deserve better than you, because there isn't anyone better than you. Not for me."

Doe nuzzles into the crook of your neck, fingers bunching in your shirt as he cuddles closer. "But... you could be with anyone. You're so so so perfect!"

You kiss the top of his head and shrug, smiling softly down at him. "So what? I want to be with you. I want to be with my John Doe. Not anyone else."

Doe looks up at you with a small smile, eyes wide with wonder. "You mean it?"

"Always."

[demonbarberofbeepbeep]

I saw Sweeney with Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster on Sunday :3 BRAIN DUMP  WITH SPECIFIC PRODUCTION DETAILS AHEAD. DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO SPOILED ON CERTAIN ACTING CHOICES THEY MAKE

First, Sutton, my surprise fav: 

Now, I had heard the Worst Pies leak from her, and I was worried. But I actually ended up loving her Nellie Lovett. 

The former cast had a younger, pretty blonde soprano style Mrs Lovett. Sutton was a little bit of a return to the classic Mrs. Lovett dynamic - an older, scatterbrained woman. Not as openly seductive and feminine as Annaleigh, but very funny and affable.  She was less sensuous, older, more desperate. Kind of a Katherine Hepburn physicality, long and slender flailing limbs. Goofy but an intense undercurrent of loneliness. She had a very gangly and bumbling physicality to her. She was taller  than Sweeney (in her heels) and that affected their dynamic in interesting ways - when she was coming on to him, it almost felt like she was trying to grapple him sometimes. She did some very funny new bits. In her entrance to Worst Pies In London, she had a carrot and she was biting pieces off it and spitting it out into the pie crust. It was a hilarious gag.  People were surprised at how wobbly her delivery was on the first night - well, it was like that on the third night too! It was pretty funny. She was obviously doing it on purpose. 

She slid off his lap in By The Sea and put her feet in his face and then started rubbing his chest and taking off his suspenders with her toes. She got a lot of mileage out of flailing her limbs in a humorous fashion. I think her comedic chops really shined here and in Little Priest.

I think her darkness was more on view here too - she had a truly evil look when she embraced Toby at the end of Not While I’m Around. And she had an interesting moment of cruelty with the Beggar Woman - when they had their confrontation, she seemed to grasp her chin or pull her hair or something in a way that caused her pain. It seemed like she was right on the edge, and totally desperate, with claws at the ready.

I have really mixed feelings about Aaron’s Sweeney. There were some things I liked about him. He does a good scowl, and when he burst onto the scene, lit from above, his eyes cast into shadow  - I felt like we were in for a convincingly demented and dark take. But unfortunately, he did not keep the intensity up the whole time. Part of this is, I think, out of his control - he’s just a very handsome and small-framed man, and he didn’t look either intimidating and beefy, like Nicholas Christopher, nor convincingly beaten down and sad eyed, like Josh Groban. I think he tried to play a more open-to-Lovett Sweeney, but once he let up the scowling and hate, I just felt like there wasn’t enough negative affect to him left. Beard or no beard, his look just screams “handsome prince“ or  “elf” or something.

The real thing I struggled with was his voice. Now, he’s obviously an amazing talent and an incredible singer, and I did enjoy seeing him. How could I not? It’s Enjolras from the Les Mis movie! So cool! But having a tenor in this role is just kinda wrong. There were moments where we needed Sweeney’s baleful booming voice to really resonate and he just didn’t deliver - in the ominous duet with Turpin, or in the crowd scene where he’s heckling Pirelli - he sounded high, weak, and reedy. There wasn’t enough power. And I know he has a beautiful voice, but having him as Sweeney didn’t really let him use it to its full advantage. Sure, he can soar into high octaves, but what good does that do us when he’s just hitting the lower notes in a nothing-special register rather than a deep rich boom? It didn’t really portray Sweeney’s madness or darkness. It’s just wasn’t right for the character.

He did make some interesting and unique choices for the character. Some things I noticed and liked: he often grabbed his chest or heart, as if in pain. He was very nimble and scrambled and leaped around the stage. This is a “quick and quiet and clean ‘e was” style Sweeney. So, to make up for the lack of deep ominous voice, I expect him to really amp up the madness. And he gave some good crazy acting for Epiphany. What he really is good at is scowling, barking laughter, scampering around. But his acting job was uneven.  His Benjamin Barker reveal, rather than being brutal, was a little bit strange - he was across the room and then ran at the judge to slash his throat. I felt very let down by the final sequence. I expected some chewing-the-scenery style screaming and moaning. He didn’t scream or cry, just kind of grimaced. “Oh no… Lucy…” Honestly, it wasn’t as sad and melodramatic from anyone as I wanted it to be.  He laughed when Toby came to kill him, which was kind of cool, but also contributed to the weird lightness of his take.

Their chemistry - they were playing it to be more fond of each other. They had moments of chemistry and acknowledging each other right out of the gate. He was surprisingly game about eating the pie, almost trying to make her feel better about it or something. Later, when he grasped her arms and asked about his wife, it seemed like there was already a spark of mutual feeling or something. This is a nicer Todd than I’ve seen. He was also pretty indulgent to her in By The Sea, grasping her knee reassuringly when he said he loved her. They did not have the crazy ass chemistry that Josh and Annaleigh had by the end of their run, which is perhaps to be expected. Again, I liked how friendly they were with each other. It worked well for Sutton’s take on Mrs. Lovett. We got to see how she jumped hungrily at any scrap of kindness he tossed her. But along with his light voice and handsome tiny man vibe, it served to make him even less menacing and foreboding, which he already didn’t have enough of IMO. So, mixed bag. 

Other notes from the night: 

Delaney was on as Johanna! She was awesome, a very fleshed out version. You could tell she had done it before. She had a lot of funny intonations in Green Finch and Linnet Bird, really pausing to consider what the birds might be doing.  “Are you discussing? 😑 Or fussing? 😩Or merely dreaming? 🙂 Are you crowing? 😧 Are you SCREAMING?? 😰”

One interesting live theater moment: In the scene where she’s trying to escape Sweeney’s parlor, I think she smashed her face getting out of the box. Her hat was off and she was holding a cloth in front of her face for some reason until she left the shop. It looked like she was bloodied, but she played it off well. I hope she’s okay! 

Joe Locke as Toby -  he had a beautiful voice, very sweet sweet younger style Toby. Much like Aaron, IMO, he did not get crazy enough with it at the end. But beautiful voice and heartbreakingly vulnerable. There were a few new cast members who were good, didn’t get their names, but I liked ‘em!

[jokeson-u]

okay heres the course of my full thoughts on the natvan friendship.

lets start with elementary. i dont think either of them were sent to pre-k or daycare. they were less socialized as kids than some of their peers (def not all. they arent the only lower class families in wiskayok.) i think they were buddies as kids, and played at recces and stuff.

most kids didnt wanna play w nat bc her clothes didnt smell very good and found her kind of offputting bc she was pretty quiet (the way children of abusive or neglectful parents often are). i think by the time 2nd/3rd grade rolled around most kids kinda picked up on the judgement from their own parents, which carries over for kids in their own interactions.

i think it was kinda similar for van. she wore the same striped shirt and khaki shorts almost everyday and her hair used to be realllly long as a kid bc her mom didnt get it cut often. kids found her long har cool at first and called her rapunzel, but got over it pretty quick when they realized van didnt like people braiding it and putting flowers in her hair. she was friendlier tho, and it took her a little longer than natalie to realize why she was treated differently. basically, van got used to hearing 'no' when she asked if people wanted to play with her or be her friend, but she didnt stop asking, whereas natalie stopped very quickly as she was often avoided.

van and nat became friends cus they were two of the only kids who consistently played with each other and would sit next to one another in circles and stuff. they ate lunch together, and that dynamic carried over to middle school.

when midle school starts, van gets a hair cut, and she and nat both wear fresher clothes and what not, but their reputations are already solidified. some people are nicer to van bc shes so social and makes some more friends. its not like she and nat have a friendship much deeper than elementary school bonds, but they still sit together at lunch and in classes they have.

idk when i think taissa comes into the picture, but ive always imagined taivan having a friends to pining to lovers relationship. so i think some point, maybe 6th or 7th grade, van meets tai at soccer club and is smitten. tai lowkey is too and van feels really welcomed by her and they connect. van start spending a little less time w nat bc she wants to be w tai. its not intentional at all. yk how first crushes are, especially a sapphic one, AND in middle school.

seats are assigned after first pickings so van and nat still sit together and have a decent rapport, but nat does have her lil 12 y/o feelings kind of hurt by van spending more time w tai than her. shes always one to pretend she doesnt care tho, so as time goes on, nat never speaks up about it. she kinda lets her and van remain how they are, and allows the distance to grow.

van never stops caring about nat, its just that shes a little older now and is becoming friends with new people. in her mind, nats always her buddy, she just has different relationships now.

nat becomes kinda friends w kevyn around this time. he wasnt a dick to her in elementary, and played w her sometimes when van wasnt around. they get closer, and his friends are cool w nat too. nat and van are still absolutely cool w each other, they just dont talk as much.

all this establishes itself more in 8th grade, but as van is a little older and reflects a bit, she decides to reach out to nat more. shits not great at home for nat, shes more jaded, but she considers it when van asks her to join the soccer club. kevyn convinces her to do it, so she does. van is hyped, other girls in the club arent so much. nat sticks with it despite that because she does actually really enjoy playing soccer, but it takes some more convincing to get her to try out for the actual team once they enter high school. van says she'll probably be the only one from the club who drops soccer, and itll show that they all got to her. it resonates w nat and she decided to join the team and try not to let it seem like she gave a shit.

nat ends up kinda getting along w some members and being on the team gets a bit easier. vans enthusiasm made more people less openly cruel to her. lottie never talked shit about anyone who didnt deserve it, and they ended up getting along in a way they didnt expect (ill be making a detailed post at some point about my insight on lottienats friendship). shauna and nat vibe when jackie isnt around, and sometimes taissa takes it easier on her cus she respects that van liked nat as kids. still, nats not necessarily close to any of them, but she does have some people on the team shes cool w.

around the middle of sophmore year, tai and van realize they feel the same and date on the dl. again, high school relationship, its pretty immature, so van feels like it isnt her place anymore to tell taissa to stop when shes rude to nat (i have the 'bong to hit/dick to suck' scene in mind as van was the only one to not react). obviously she says something when other people cross a line, as seen w travis. nat doesnt mind, she kinda would rather taissa be honest than pretend to like her. it doesnt rly affect anything in the team, nat didnt talk to any of them much more than necessary from the get go. shes less hurt about it than she was in middle school, and shes already picked up on taivan being a thing, so shes chill. shes gotten closer w kevyn so she feels pretty good about things.

at the beginning of junior year, (maybe the end of sophmore year idk i cant decide,) the incident with natalies dad happens. nat doesnt show for a couple weeks, and van tries to ask kevyn what happened. no one really knows the full story, but lots of rumors go around once the news of mr. scatorccio dying by a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head got out. van didnt rly pay mind to them, and became more outspoken w tai about not contributing to rumors.

when nat returns, she doesnt go to soccer for a bit. she and kevyn mostly skip, and kevyns friend started bringing them weed to help nat out. she smoked a bit before, but it becomes a regular thing. same w drinking. she had access to it as a kid and would take swigs. her father sometimes even let her get tipsy when she was a preteen. but after his death, it becomes more of a crutch. all his alcohol is lying around, so she provides the drinks to their skip sessions.

when nat decides its time to act unbothered, she comes back to soccer. shes still, understandably, traumatized, so she zones out even more and talks even less. but shes there. everyone is either extra nice to her, or gives her total space. van just tries to be casual, which nat appreciates.

by the half way point of junior year, nats pretty heavily into drinking and weed and psychedelics, and its at this point it affects her day to day. skipping is a daily occurance, she barely keeps her grades up to stay on the team. van tries to let nat know shes still a friend, but it upsets her to see nat showing up drunk. it reminds her of her mother. and van.. just cant deal w that. shes struggled so much with having a neglectful parent due to alcohol. shes tried her hardest to not let the world get to her like her mother did, and avoid falling down that path. watching it happen to natalie is just disappointing for van.

this isnt to say van doesnt drink and smoke. she def does, she likes to let loose, but i see her as a strictly social smoker/drinker. nat obviously has a diff relationship with drugs and alcohol, and the her reliance is something that rubs van the wrong way for personal, but also caring reasons.

its a combination of nat distancing herself naturally bc of her subtance abuse, and van realizing she cant fix it + having her opinion on nat change a bit. she cares for natalie. she has for a long time, even if its not the same as with more day to day friends. but she decides that theyre older now, nats made her choices and van doesnt agree with them, as much as she understands them.

theyre friendly. but vans self preserverance, tai supporting her protecting herself, and her sometimes seeing nat ending up like her own mother, the distance grows on both sides. nat doesnt even really pick up on it. shes pretty clouded for the last two years of high school, and she doesnt care. she has her vices and she has kevyn and she convinces herself thats enough.

i think maybe a part of nat is bitter that she feels things worked out so much better for van than her. its not entirely true but i mean.. kinda? at the same time, i think nat just sort of feels that way towards everyone and the entire universe.

its just all a cycle imo. they got close bc of their similar family dynamics, but those dynamics are what made them into the separate people they are. theyre no longer aligned bc they took different paths based on the cards they were dealt. nat became her parents in a way, and van did her best not to, and to not let anymore of that into her life.

then the crash happens, and none of it matters anymore.

tldr; van and nat got along as little kids bc they were treated differently. their friendship never developed past elementary school level bonds, and they drifted apart naturally due to different social circles and life choices

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

[adrian-sheppy]

Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!

hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup!  so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote .  a good chunk of stuff .  so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr

I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well.  its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon  and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins

i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!

but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.

...

also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.

honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).

i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons

[naisaspalace]

TAROT READING WHATS COMING NEW AFTER THE NEW MOON?

pick the pile that have your moon sign OR the pile the you felt attracted to

< take only what resonate > :)

1 - or water signs ( scorpio , cancer and pisces )

alright this will be i guess hard for me to say because i dont really think i will be able to give you good news but i will give the message that has shown up. you finally started to work but the money kept going away kept getting less and less for some reason and you end up having a bad judgment and decided to get involved with a man and that really destroyed you because you had imagined this dream where both of you could be enjoin a good life with comfort but he left you and that was the beginning of your downfall. right now i see that this situation impacted your work life and even tho you know what do to (like you know with what you can work to get you money) you're feeling sad and feeling suspicious of people around you and dont want to find the same type of man you also feel kinda scared of getting hurt by men again.i see that you will have to go thru other transformations until your mental health gets in a better place again and you will also eventually enjoy something even if you see such comforts as not what you desired on the first place i advice you to take care of your mental health and to be grateful and to not loose hope and to stay away from trying to have a relationship until your heart feels better again. good luck water signs.

2 - or earth signs (capricorn , taurus and virgo)

earth signs i see that you're trying to be alone and really enjoy yourself and start this new path but theres a problem you're not actually being "alone" or at least not working towards what you had plan you might think you're but is not the truth and i see that you're not looking after wealth in fact you have enough the problem is that you're looking to someone to enjoy such wealth and thats the damn problem i know that you're feeling very lonely right now and that youre feeling tempted to invite people to your new path or at least share with others but you're doing totally wrong because it need to be a secret and something that you are going to commit alone … the gold will keep coming regardless but you are actually bring misfortune by inviting people in. i see two paths either you actually commits and stay alone and achieve your spiritual goals or you go after people only to end up with more delay because you know that your heart is not ready yet your heart is right now with too much pain and trauma. good luck earth signs.

3 - or air signs ( libra, aquarius and gemini )

hi air signs i see that a lot of stuff is going on your life! lets unpack here i see that you were walking a business path alone and suddenly you met a person this person seemed to be a good person the perfect partner to your eyes but this person betrayed you or at least you interpret what this person did as a betrayal but both of you went on separated paths each with their part of the deal feeling like they're are now alone. currently you are desiring to be a king or at least enjoy a good amount of wealth but its not feeling like working at all or at least having motivation or courage to work you're dreaming about the riches of the world while having to feel betrayed and right now you're emotions are not well they're are very awful. i see that on the future you will encounter a few opportunities that will end up being good but you will feel tempted to choose a path where you will not work as hard and will end up loosing everything and the other path is where you first start to feel grateful for your current situation and then go to work even if youre not feeling like it and this path will reward your gold. good luck air signs :)

4 - or fire signs ( leo , aries and Sagittarius )

hii fire signs i see that something really bad happened to you recently that changed your life and made you loose your hope on your dreams luck feels like its acting against you and because of this now you're feeling without strength and has lost faith on justice i mean you feel like the justice did not helped you are all and you're wandering wheres justice now that i need it? well fire sign i have to tell you something you are the one whos going to have to do your own justice you're going to work extra hard to help the needy to help those who cannot afford nothing this is how you're going to balance your own luck and actually bring justice by helping others grow and build youre going to build your own fortune and luck and will be blessed and i know youre feeling too much emotional pain right now but right now is the perfect time to work again and win and to help those who cannot win alone win as well. good luck fire signs

for contact information click here. thank you.

i am also at twitter.

[biggiedraws]

fuck it. rvb soul eater au

context on soul eater for those who havent seen it: some people can turn into a weapon. they get paired off with meisters (ppl who wield the weapons) based on soul compatibility. if two people are incompatible or out of sync, theyre unable to fight together - their bodies will physically reject it and they can even get injured by trying. so weapon/meister duos are always very deep and trusting (and often ambiguously romantic) relationships. and then they fight monsters or whatever the rest isnt important

im starting with blood gulch, as usual. although..... freelancer has interesting implications...... okay but reds and blues first

grif and simmons - grif is the weapon (maybe a rocket launcher?) because you know his ass is not running around fighting. this works great with simmons' need for control. 10/10 no notes

church and tucker - i think church would naturally be the weapon here but im thinking about how this applies to tucker and wash down the line..... i kinda had it in my head that the freelancers would be meisters and the ais their weapons, which would make weapon!tucker pair well with meister!wash after church dies, but if i disregard that. weapon!wash could be really really interesting.... i dont really have a plot in mind so i also dont know how epsilon fits into this but hes also here. idk ill think about it. anyway obvious weapon choices for this duo would be a sword or a sniper rifle. (i do think its really funny to make tucker the sniper rifle that church cant aim for shit. oh you wanted the sniper rifle so bad? now you are one and your meister gets no kills with it <3)

sarge and lopez - this one has hilarious implications. is lopez still a robot? is he just a regular ass shotgun that sarge built and insists on using instead of pairing with a person? is he a robot that can turn into a weapon? does he still speak spanish? if he is a robot, does he have a soul???? do he and sarge resonate the way weapon/meister duos usually do???? honestly this is hilarious no matter what, but im leaning toward hes a humanoid robot that can turn into a shotgun. sarge built him and lopez hates him for it but he was programmed to be compatible so they resonate just fine. dont think about the implications of a robot having a soul okay shhhhh its fine

if robots are on the table then you know we gotta do caboose and sheila - is sheila also a robot? i think it works either way. shes definitely the weapon though - something with a lot of firepower. truly i think shes the only one who can balance out caboose in a combat setting and even then they still get church killed. incredible

donut and doc - this one is interesting with doc being canonically a pacifist. maybe hes still primarily a medic but he keeps a weapon on him just in case? and then omalley makes good use of it >:D donuts really just along for the ride. i dont have specific weapon ideas - i know doc tends to favour the rocket launcher and donut is good with grenades, but also. insert joke about crossing swords. anyway no matter what weapon he is, donuts weapon form is pink

(also i want you guys to know that i almost did pastrytrain as a duo and left doc out for the crimes of being a pacifist. i still think it could work, but donut and caboose dont really interact that much compared to caboose and sheila, and also i wanted to keep the teams separate. you understand)

tex and kai - honestly this is a GREAT duo imo. i know the only time they interact in canon is some catty bullshit but its not their fault they were written by misogynists, and honestly they have some really good black star/tsubaki duality going for them. i think tex would be the meister, and kai would be maybe a melee weapon? oooh could do both of the grif siblings as knives..... knife simmons...... anyway tex and kai really good duo. easily the best out of all the blood gulch crew

and then the freelancers would be...... actually remarkably similar to how the freelancer/ai relationships work in canon! although if you swap around whos weapon and meister (as opposed to the ais all being weapons) you could certainly shake things up. also kind of interesting bc theres a lot of partner swapping in freelancer, which doesnt seem to happen much in soul eater. a testament to the poor conditions at pfl perhaps......

anyway i dont really have ideas for a full-fledged au, but its certainly fun to play with - the soul eater designs are already fun and then bringing in the rvb colour coding...... giving them fun dramatic weapon designs...... plus the whole soul resonance thing adds a layer to the relationships that i think would make for some delicious character interactions. force these mfs to communicate with each other lmfao