#so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks.

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

[qui-qui-quee]

Admittedly a lot of my original posts lately have been particularly negative, I’m aware.

I do wonder if I’m in a period of lamenting when looking back. There’s just too much going on, too many people thinking they’re on the right side of history (or the faith) by the way they talk about ideologies. Too much lack of nuance and assumptions about what worldliness actually looks like. Too much death. Too much destruction. Too many violations of humanity.

And in my case I’m in a weird transition period in my own life as well (and I’m currently battling a cold so there’s that).

But… yeah did Jesus really care about us being theologically right?

He already showed us how to live, how to love, gave an entire sermon on what His kingdom was meant to look like but we often get obsessed with the details. He died on the cross and resurrected.

Yet instead of being secure in all that, we’re constantly angsting over our sin and listening to the Accuser tell us we’re doing things wrong (and for some reason be more concerned over God’s wrath than not??). And we treat the Bible with a modern lens and demand it serve us in ways it just wasn’t meant for. Look at how more focused we often are on Paul’s letters and assume everything he wrote there to the dot is 100% applicable to our time now, compared to the universality of Jesus’ teachings and its challenges to human power and authority.

Anyway I dunno what else to say here. I’m rambling again. I wanna listen to people who aren’t from your typical white male evangelical circles or groups influenced by them. I come from a reformed background, evangelical background and I wanna expand. But it’s hard and lonely. I find myself more intrigued by folks like James Baldwin, a black gay churchgoer, and after finishing books like The Making of Biblical Womanhood, wanna listen to for example, more women in Christian history who you never hear about on ur average Sunday cuz “hur dur wOmEn CaN’t PrEaCh Or bE pAsToRs”.

I should end this ramble now. But yeah, I know it’s okay to be uncertain. I know it’s ok not to have everything together and that God’s got me. God is bigger than all that. Bigger than myself. Bigger than this world. I just need to keep going.

He’s Bigger and He loves me, ya know? Just as He loved everyone to throw Himself into the jaws of death for us and resurrect. If people think that’s a cop-out or an easy way out then they miss the point. Sometimes it’s hardest thing to remember and live out when you’re surrounded by all things depressing and anxiety-inducing.

Something I need to keep reminding myself of that cuz man does living life as a human suck reaaaally bad these days hahaha

[impunkster-syndrome]

Genuinely- if somebody has multiple disorders that affect their ability to communicate- it is not “coddling ableism ” to have grace with them when they misword things. From everything I’ve read, Autistikate is very open to learning and changing her mind.

What she wrote in the first post wasn’t okay- I agree. At the same time, we have to acknowledge that people are coming from different stages of learning, and that some people have disabilities that affect communication.

To call that “coddling” leaves a bad taste in my mouth as that word is often used against disabled people that need extra help and support (including support in understanding concepts and wording things correctly.).

There is a difference between internationally being exclusionary/harmful and miswordimg something in a way that does harm. It still causes harm whether it was intentional or not. You are still allowed to be upset either way.

How do we move forward from this? That’s when intention matters in my opinion, because the way to move forward will be different depending on the intention.

For instance if her intention was to cause harm- then yeah that sucks and I wouldn’t be kind either, but her intention wasn’t to cause harm, so instead there can be education. (Just an example)

You 1000% don’t owe anybody kindness. At the same time- to deny kindness to somebody who is open to listening to you and learning, and who misworded something and has been open about having disabilities that affect their communication- I think is counterproductive to any movement, let alone an anti-ableist movement.

All of this said with love and by somebody with multiple disabilities ❤️

You can think what you want. I have seen so much ableism in the same vein as this that there's no way that those kinds of responses were okay. I don't personally really care what you think because of the refusal to acknowedge the rhetoric as harmful or to make assumptions about me and not look for five seconds at my blog to see that neuropunk, cripplepunk, and madpunk are my most posted tags.

There is no way that the belief of "you need to be nice to me if you talk to me about the harmful shit I do/say" and "You need to debate me privately" is ever in good faith in my experience. It is always to save face about the harmful stuff you do to avoid any public criticism.

My blog name is literally "kunikos," greek for dog-like. The root of "cynical." If you're looking for a super positive view of the world and how other people might just happen to be doing what I have encounted with ableism time and time again, you came to the wrong place.

[mercy-burning]

Wine Drunk - BLURB

@subspencer / @wheelsup and I briefly discussed this concept Thursday night and I... I just had to. I’m obsessed. I was going to post it later tonight, but I got impatient, so enjoy 😂😘

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Category: SPICY FLUFF Warnings: alcohol consumption, drunk/tipsy making out, second base Word Count: 1.3k

MASTERLIST

Spencer rarely drank, so you were actually quite surprised to see him take you up on your offer to 'watch movies and get drunk'.

Work that week had been rather headache-inducing, more so than usual, so you'd only said it as a joke to emphasize how draining the week had been. And surprisingly, Spencer agreed. In all honesty you had been prepared for him to just laugh and offer lots of snacks instead, movie nights actually pretty common for the both of you after a long work week. But his long sigh followed by agreement and how he could actually really use a drink or two made you happy.

It gave you an excuse to break out the new bottle of blackberry merlot you'd been dying to try since getting it as a Christmas gift from your sister a few months back. It was currently sitting in the fridge, waiting to be cracked open and enjoyed, and honestly you couldn't think of a better time to use it.

You went into the bedroom to change as Spencer made his way to your bathroom, using clothes from his go-bag to change as well. By the time you walked out in green and black plaid pajama bottoms and a loose grey tee shirt, hair thrown up in a ponytail, he was already on the couch, adorning a similar look— minus the ponytail. You laughed at the thought, reminiscing over when his hair was way longer, when you'd ask constantly to braid his hair.

You grabbed the wine from the fridge and two wine glasses from the cupboard before meeting him in the living room as he turned the TV on and scrolled through the channels until he found the Old Western movie channel.

"Why Westerns?" you asked, popping the wine open and starting to pour the first glass.

"Eh, it's something different. Besides, I think our focus will stray more towards getting drunk than actually paying attention, so..."

You laughed, handing him the first glass and pouring another for yourself. "Good assumption." Then you set the bottle back on the coffee table, leaned back, and held up your glass. "To... John Wayne."

Spencer smirked, amused, raising his glass all the same. "I don't think John Wayne is in this movie..."

"I don't care."

The two of you clinked glasses and took the first sips, settling back to your respective sides of the couch. It wasn't a long couch, so even though you were on opposite sides you could greatly feel body warmth radiating from one another. It was something you both became hyper-aware of the more you drank, which led to more drinking— something to do to keep your hands and mouths busy in an attempt to prevent any confessions or accidental touches.

The obvious sexual attraction you and Spencer felt towards one another only ever came out in the rare occasions where you were alone like that, close enough to touch and uninterrupted by any outside forces. But you'd repressed all of it, nervous for one thing due to your close friendship and fear of dismantling what you'd built from it. And for another, the both of you were so extremely bad at verbalizing romantic feelings in general that you didn't want to take any chances.

As the movie droned on, your wine glasses kept emptying, then re-filling until the entire bottle was gone, and every time you reached over to put it back on the table, you came back closer to Spencer. And now, your relaxed, wine-drunk brain was swimming as you leaned your body into his, curling up at his side and slowly resting your head on his shoulder.

You couldn't help but notice how good he smelled. You couldn't place what it was, some type of cologne maybe, or just his laundry soap, but it smelled so incredibly like him that you found yourself breathing him in, taking deep breaths and trying to inhale as much of it as possible.

But the more your nose searched for his smell, the closer it got to his skin, until it gently nudged the underside of his jaw, and you could slightly feel his throat as he swallowed. The movement didn't deter you, however, from dreaming about what it would be like to kiss the source of movement... To feel his Adams apple move as you traced it with your tongue, tasting the saltiness of his skin and feeling the vibrations as he moaned.

In your wine-drunk state, that thought is what spurred you forward, softly dragging your nose up his jawline as your eyes flicked up to catch him staring down at you. God, he was pretty...

But he seemed to be just as intrigued with the idea of tasting you as you were with him, because the moment your eyes locked, his flicked down to your lips before lingering there. You both moved closer and closer until your eyes were both inevitably closed, patiently waiting for something that was sure to feel like a dream.

The second Spencer's lips grazed yours, you sighed, letting him take as much of you as he wanted. The kiss was sweet, sure, but it wasn't until his lips parted and came back a little stronger, giving you more to taste, that you realized it wasn't actually a dream. He tasted of wine, and you knew you did, too. It was sweet and wet and bitter all at the same time, and it only got stronger the longer you reciprocated his actions.

The first time your tongues glided over each other, you both slumped forward, letting the feeling take over. Your kisses became long and drawn out, and a little uncoordinated due to your drunken haze, but that made it all the better— You didn't have the time to think or care about the imperfections of your first kiss. Rather, you lost yourself in the moment, glad to be this close to someone you loved and longed for all these years.

And that's why you didn't care that you were getting sloppy. If anything, the wetness of your kisses only added to the intensity of it all. You gave each other everything you had, offering yourselves to one another through kisses like you'd never been able to with words.

When his hand came up to cradle your face, butterflies swarmed your belly and up through your chest. You both adjusted a little, giving him the clearance to tilt his head and allow you access to deeper kisses. This in turn, of course, made you feral for more, a long sigh escaping as you pushed yourself into him and longed to get closer.

Spencer opened his mouth to you, and the opportunity couldn't have been more clear. So you took his tongue between your lips and sucked on it, eliciting a loud, throaty groan from him that sent another wave of heat through your body. You let his tongue go with a soft pop and smiled against his lips, pecking him a few times before resting your hands on his chest. "You liked that, huh?"

"Mhm," he offered in return, right before kissing you again.

You didn't want to stop.

And for hours, you didn't. After twenty more minutes of just making out, his thumb found its way into your mouth, and you whimpered around it as you looked him in the eyes and sucked on it for another two minutes.

And then eventually, his hand found its way up your shirt. He breathily explained that he didn't want to take advantage of you, and you laughed, taking his wrist and sliding his hand higher until it cupped your breast, telling him through slurred syllables, "It's okay. You can touch me... I want you to..."

You cycled through another movie and a half, his hands kneading your breasts gently while yours tugged at his hair, before you finally tired, your kisses slowing significantly until, finally, you rested with your foreheads pressed together.

Still a little hazy from the wine, though, you smiled, hearing him whisper, "I love you," before dozing off, John Wayne in a shootout on the screen in front of you.

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[whispsofwind]

You know, I was thinking about Crowley (I know, big shock), and a few exchanges I had about one line specifically.

From the book:

He’d been an angel once. He hadn’t meant to Fall. He’d just hung around with the wrong people.

And from the TV show script book:

I didn’t fall. I didn’t mean to fall. I just hung around the wrong people.

(If I remember correctly, that first "I didn't fall" didn't make it into the show, but it's still echoed in the "I didn't fall, I just sauntered vaguely downwards" dialogue. So the sentiment is there).

On one hand, it's interesting to see the contrast between the book (he'd been an angel once) and the script (I didn't fall).

But what I want to concentrate on is the "I just hung around the wrong people" part, which stays identical.

Because I've seen the argument that we shouldn't take it at face value. The idea there is that Crowley is telling himself he just hung around the wrong people in order to comfort himself. With that sentence, he would be absolving himself of any wrongdoing, and putting a moral wall between himself and the rest of Hell, where he paints himself as better than they are.

The idea here, I think, would be that he's reframing himself as an innocent bystander as a way to cope with the trauma of falling, while in reality he wasn't an innocent bystander at all. It's basically a pretty white lie he's telling himself.

However, I feel pretty confident in taking that sentence at face value, and not just because of my personal headcanons. I think there's a strong argument for Crowley to have been an innocent bystander in the Fall, exactly like he says he was.

My reason for this is the way the TV script reframes the Fall as a workers' revolution kind of deal:

I was just minding my own business one day and then, looky here, it’s Lucifer and the guys, they say, hey, Crowley, my man, we’re just on our way to discuss the whole job conditions and career advancement thing, so, okay, the food hadn’t been that good lately, I’d got nothing on for the rest of that afternoon, next thing I know I’m doing a million-light-year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulphur.

The other reason why I feel pretty confident in taking these affirmations at face value is this book section (I apologise if it's a bit long but I need it to make my point);

Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he’d said—this was somewhere around 1020, when they’d first reached their little Arrangement—the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn’t become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.

Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can’t start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle.

Ah, Aziraphale had said, that’s the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have.

Crowley had said, That’s lunatic.

No, said Aziraphale, it’s ineffable.

Now this is an obviously fascinating bit and a meta analysis gold mine in terms of how free will works, the nature of angels and demons, and how Heaven's machine works (hey fun fact faith in the Church has historically been at its highest when things really, really sucked).

But the important bit I need is the bolded one. Crowley as a character believes that people should be treated equally and fairly. He believes it's not fair to judge people's actions and choices, and the morality thereof, without considering the circumstances they came from. He particularly believes that expecting people to be better, morally, by keeping them miserable is, in his own words, "lunatic".

So there it is, I think. What I get from this passage is that Crowley believes that class/economical differences play a part in making the world in general, and Heaven's system of judgement in particular, unfair.

So if we assume- and I think it's a fair assumption- that he held these ideas before the Fall, then it makes total sense that he would be attracted to the idea of a Revolution.

Heaven is a theocracy with a pretty rigid class system. If Crowley was, as I believe, middle-to-low in the angelic hierarchy, and Lucifer came to promise rights and "job conditions and career advancements", you can see how everything lines up quite nicely, I think. Especially because the Fall happened presumably towards the end of Creation, when angels like Crowley (involved in building the universe) were kind of about to lose their jobs. And with their jobs, their only purpose in life, because what's an angel's purpose if not their job?

Basically, what I am trying to say is, I 100% think that Crowley isn't lying to himself when he says he "just hung around the wrong people". He isn't comforting himself or making excuses for past sins, he's telling exactly what happened: he was looking for a more equal Heaven, and instead he got dragged into a War by a power hungry (or possibly just mistaken?) leader.

Basically, this whole thing is a giant "Crowley did nothing wrong and I stand by that" meme.

From this point onward, I actually think you could go into pretty interesting commentary re: the Cold War allegory, capitalism vs communism, the history of the URSS, and the fact that Crowley's philosophy when performing his job is basically the Industrial Revolution of temptations. I don't feel qualified enough for all that meaty stuff, so I'll stop here. Have fun tearing my reasoning apart (but please be nice about it, I am emotionally fragile and I just love GO very much).

[angelsfwrites]

BLOOD | JASPER HALE

This prompt was submitted by anon:

I hope you enjoy xx !

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀         ❉

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀BLOOD  

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❉

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ JASPER HALE X READER ONE SHOT

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❉

WARNINGS: Blood, a bit of gore, injuries, broken bones, and violence ! Please, read with caution !

IT was a regular Saturday and you were just waiting for Jasper to come over to watch some movies with you. You two had planned this day a while ago and were both eager to just spend some downtime together. You had a list of movies ready on your phone- even being old as dirt, Jasper hadn’t seen too many films- and the list consisted mostly of rom coms and scary movies.  

You already had the bag of movies set on your dresser, near the TV, and were just waiting for Jasper to show up at your window like he usually does. The very first time that you heard knocking outside scared the shit out of you and you ended up whacking him with a bat when he climbed into the room. Now, the knocking was a welcome sound; a sign that the comforting embrace of home would soon be around you.

When the sound of knocking broke you from reminiscing, you were happy to see Jasper gracefully climb into your room.

He smirked at you, eyes lighting up, “Hi, darlin’. I missed you.” His southern drawl washed over you like a warm blanket when he spoke- you absolutely loved the sound of his voice. 

You smiled wide at him and walked over to cozy up in his arms, “I missed you, even more, Jazz.” Though his body was ice cold on your heated one, his arms never failed to feel warm around your body. The temperature shock had been a bit weird at the very beginning of the relationship, but now it was something you always longed to feel. Plus, it had its perks; you were never too hot sleeping at night with your body tucked into his.  

His hand ran through your hair as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. His scent was something you wished you could bottle up and save forever. You never knew if it was Jasper’s emotion manipulating ability or just the scent of him, but being near him eased your anxiety by tenfold. 

He rested his head over yours as he spoke in a soft voice, “Not even possible, darlin’.”

You smiled softly into his neck because you knew there was no way you would ever win that argument with him. The very few times you tried, the vampire would begin to list a million reasons why it was impossible that you missed him more than he missed you. There was never any point in trying to counter back with reasons of your own; Jasper made sure he won every time.

When his hands stopped running through your hair, confusion ran through your body. But, when his cold hands lifted your head up by the cheeks and he leaned down to plant a sweet kiss on your lips, it vanished quickly. Jasper would only ever leave lingering pecks to your mouth, never anything too long or hot and heavy. His self-control was something he still struggled with, especially being near you- a human- all the time. He was slowly getting better with the help of his family and constant exposure to the smell of human blood. 

Your lips reached after his to grab them in another short, sweet kiss. You knew better than to push your luck with him and you rarely ever tried to. 

When you leaned back, you asked, “What took you so long, baby?”

The smile fell slightly from his face when he responded shortly to you, “I had to feed before coming.”

Feeding was never something Jasper liked to talk about and it was avoided most times in conversation. He still felt a lingering sense of shame around you because of his nature, even when you reminded him it was something that you didn’t really care about. That confession alone always seemed to pull the anger out of Jasper every time you said it. He claimed he was dangerous and could kill swiftly in a second. He reminded you that his nature wasn’t something that could be easily forgotten about; he was still the predator and you were still the prey. 

You ran a soft hand over his cheek, “It’s okay, Jazz, I understand.”

He gave you a look full of adoration as he leaned into your hand, “You’re too sweet to me, honey.”

Instead of answering him, you gave him a small smile with your nose scrunched up into your face. He leaned down and nuzzled your nose with his own; you really loved it when he did that. He could be so loving at times it almost made your heart melt right out of your chest.

“Why don’t we start the movie now, darlin’.” He chuckled at you when he saw your mouth turn from a smile to a pout at his words, “If we don’t start now, it’ll be almost too late to watch another one.” The pout stayed on your face, but you knew he was right, “Alright, Jazz,” You sighed, “I guess you’re right.”

His laugh rang through your ears, “Of course I am, darlin’.”

“Just let me go grab the movies; they’re brand new, I just picked them up from the store a few days ago.” With those words, you turned to shuffle through the bag sitting on your dresser. You heard rustling behind you as you grabbed the first movie- Jasper must’ve sat down on the bed to get comfortable. When you turned to face him and your assumption was correct; Jasper was propped up against the headboard with his arms tucked behind his head.

He smirked at you, “So, which one are we watchin’ first?” 

“Midsommar; it’s one of my favorite horror movies and I know for a fact you’ve never seen it,” You said with confidence laced through your words.

He raised an eyebrow at you and asked, “Darlin’, you’re not gunna get too scared, right?”

“Psst, I rarely ever get scared at horror movies,” You waved a hand at him and rolled your eyes.

His hands raised in defensive, “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes at him again and began to fiddle with the movie packaging, “Now, I just have to get the damn thing open.”

Once you got the first plastic layer off of the movie box, you sought to remove it from its cardboard cover. However, when you tried to slide the movie out, your finger slipped and the cardboard cut through the delicate skin. Immediately, your face paled and anxiety coursed through your body. Fear was making your heart begin to pump faster; Jasper’s self-control was still extremely faulty. As far as you knew, he’d never been exposed to human blood since his diet was changed strictly to animal blood. You didn’t know how this situation would end, but the white-hot fear that coated every nerve told you it was bad.

Before you could even wrap it in your shirt and ask Jasper to leave, he grabbed you and pushed you into the dresser. His eyes had changed from the light amber you loved to a much more sinister, dark orange. He had one arm pressed over your throat and his free hand had your bleeding finger gripped in the other. The arm over your neck seemed to push down more and more each second; breathing was starting to get extremely difficult as the pressure prevented most of the air from reaching your lungs.

You breathlessly whimpered out in pain, “Jasper, please, you’re hurting me.” Your words were broken up by gasps and whimpers and sounded completely breathless. 

There was absolutely no one to help you out of this mess, so you relied on Jasper being able to stop himself from doing something awful. Even if you had a lot of faith in your boyfriend, the likelihood of him being able to stop and pull himself from this daze was slim.

You gripped his arm with your other hand and began to try and wiggle around to hopefully shock him out of it and let you go. But, at the first sign of struggling, Jasper began to bear his arm down harder on your delicate throat. Your mouth opened in desperation and shock as you felt something near your shoulder snap. Pain from the snap caused you to breathlessly cry out as tears dripped down your cheeks. 

So, you changed tactics and relied on the other thing that would hopefully push Jasper out of his daze; emotions. You knew he could feel and manipulate emotions and that fear was among the worst to feel. Jasper had told you that when he was under Maria’s command, she would have him kill most of the newborns. He said that feeling their fear and their deaths was something that would forever haunt him.

You did the best you could to push the fear and anxiety you felt into him; it wasn’t hard, considering this was the first time in your life you’d ever felt fear as strong as this. You hoped this would work because he was getting extremely close to crushing your windpipe under his arm.

Suddenly, the arm left your neck and Jasper’s presence was removed from around your body- it worked, your plan had actually worked. Your body sunk to the ground as your hands rose up to touch your throat. You heaved air into your withered lungs and almost cried in relief when the air reached them. However, when your hands brushed over your left collarbone, you winced in pain; Jasper must’ve broken the small bone when he pushed you down into the dresser.

When you gathered enough courage to look up, what you saw nearly broke your heart. Jasper was back over by the window with his mouth open and air being sucked into his lungs at a rapid pace. You knew vampires couldn’t cry, but the look of pure devastation and self-hatred told you that maybe they could if they tried hard enough. You wanted to tell him it was alright; that it was your fault it happened, but as he tried to move closer to you, all you could muster was a frightened whimper. He backed away immediately and his face fell more when he saw you push yourself into the dresser to put distance in between the two of you. Jasper gave you one more painful look as he slipped out of your window.

You took a few minutes to try and calm down before you moved to take yourself to the hospital to get checked out. You didn’t have it in you to try to register the fact that Jasper had left you like that. Right now, you still felt extremely threatened by him and needed a few days.

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IT had been about a week and a half since you had last seen Jasper. Once the fear of seeing him left you after a few days alone, loneliness and longing took its place. He hadn’t hurt you as bad as he could’ve and you can’t even find it in you to blame him. It was his nature and you knew from the very start that this could be dangerous at times. He wasn’t like the other Cullens, as much as he wanted to be, his thirst was still something he struggled to control every day. You should’ve been more cautious around him. 

You found yourself wishing that he would climb in through your bedroom window every night and just hold you while you slept. But, at the same time, you were too depressed to leave the house to go see him. You didn’t want to hear one of the Cullens say he didn’t want to see you- that would break your heart even more than it already was. 

Your head raised a bit as the sound of someone knocking on your front door broke through the silence and turned to check the time: 11:47 PM. You didn’t know anyone that would come knocking on your door at this hour and curiosity began to fill your body. You shakily raised yourself off from your worn spot on the couch and moved over to the door to peer out of the peephole. On the other end, you saw what you had been longing to see for days, Jasper.

You quickly moved to unlock the door and throw it open. Once he was in front of you, you went to reach out to him. Jasper flinched and backed away from you and your hand dropped as your heart cracked even more. 

You choked out his name, “Jasper.” Hot tears began to sting your eyes as you watched him flinch again at the sound of your voice- still hoarse from his attack.

He took a shaky breath in, even though he didn’t need to, and started to talk, “I’m so sorry.” The sound of utter dejection and grief in his voice was almost enough to bring you to your knees right there, “God, I am so sorry.”

Tears made their way down your face as you choked over your words, “Please, just let me touch you.”

Jasper shook his head and desperation rose into your voice, “Please, Jazz, please, God just let me hold you. It’s alright.” 

At those words, his head shot up and he looked angry, “How could you even say that? I almost crushed you with my bare hands and you tell me it’s alright?” His voice was starting to rise and he was shaking more and more by the minute, “You were scared of me! I watched you whimper and try to make yourself as small as possible to get away from me!”

You knew you weren’t the one he was mad at- his own self was what he held anger for. You also knew that he wouldn’t try to hurt you again, but the small voice in the back of your mind wouldn’t stop talking about the possibility of it. ‘No,’ you thought, ‘I won’t be scared of him right now; he’s tearing at the seams.’

Jasper fell to the ground and you heard the small crack of his knees meeting the wood of your porch, “I have no right to even be here right now. I could snap again and hurt you even more,” His voice sounded wet with tears, even though his eyes couldn’t shed any.

Finally, your voice came to you in a small whisper, “You won’t.”

Jasper’s hands were tearing into his jeans and he spoke with his eyes to the ground, “Look at yourself in a mirror,” His voice was eerily quiet but soon rose again with agitation, “Look at yourself in a goddamn mirror! I broke bones, bruised your neck, and your fucking hand!” His volume grew each word he spoke, “I would’ve killed you and I wouldn’t have been able to save you!”

Jasper heaved on the ground and when he spoke this time, his voice was quiet and broken, “I felt your fear. I felt your panic. Feelin’ you scared because of me should’ve been enough to kill me; I wanted it to,” He sounded like a sad little boy in front of you, “I almost lost you and that would’ve been on me forever,” His words were choked with heavy sadness- they devastated the very core of your being.

You couldn’t watch the man you love crumble and break in front of your eyes, in fact, you refused to. You finally moved and fell to your knees directly in front of him. Before Jasper even had the chance to move anyway, you threw your uninjured arm around his shoulder and pulled yourself close to him. The movement aggravated your broken collar bone and a couple sore spots on your body, but you didn’t care. You just needed to hold him close and try to piece together each broken part of him.

You felt relieved when he accepted the contact and even more so when he buried his head into your neck opposite to the damaged side. Your voice was quiet and comforting in his ear as you whispered, “Jasper, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault; I know you have a hard time with self-control. I should’ve been more careful.”

He shook his head into you, “How can you say that? I’m a monster- a terrible monster.” God, the sound of grief in his voice was making you break. How could this man ever think he was what he said he was? 

You tried to swallow the tears as best as you could before you spoke again, “I will never think of you as a monster because you aren’t close to being one, Jazz.”

He began to shake his head again, but you interrupted him before he could speak, “If you were one, you never would’ve come here to see me and you definitely wouldn’t have let me go that day,” You gripped his face by his left cheek to move him so you were directly staring into his eyes with your next words, “You’re no monster, Jasper Hale; you’re the man I love and he’s an absolute angel.”

His unneeded breath was shaky and hitting your lips every time he breathed out, “I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head, “Stop saying that, I’m fine. I’m healing and I’m fine, alright? I’m not going anywhere; you’re stuck with me forever, baby.”

Jasper was starting to look more relieved after you spoke and you guessed he was probably calming down now. He was beginning to see that you were alright, bit banged up around the edges, but still alright.

He lightly touched the bruises around your throat and swallowed harshly. He examined your broken collar bone and your arm snug in its sling along with it. Jasper let his finger trace a line down the sling, but stopped at your bandaged hand. Once again, he swallowed and bent down to lightly kiss the wrap. Tears flung to your eyes as your heart swelled with love; how could he be anything less than angelic?

You sniffled through tears and choked out, “I love you so much, Jazz.” He peered up at you in panic, “Did I hurt you?” He was getting frantic again.

“No,” You shook your head, “I just missed you and I love you more than anything.”

He moved up to your face again, “Can I kiss you?”

Your heart almost broke at the question- he sounded so small. But, you pushed it back and nodded your head, “Of course you can.” His lips met yours in a sweet, soft kiss. His hand threaded through your hair carefully so as not to pull and hurt your neck more. When he pulled back, the misery in his eyes was dimmed a bit and a new emotion was beginning to take its place, love. He ran his hand softly over your cheek to lightly trace over your mouth with his fingers. When his index finger reached the center of your lips, you softly kissed the pad of it. 

“Will you stay with me tonight?” You could hear the fear of rejection threaded through the sentence as your lips moved against his finger.

Jasper looked hesitant and like he might say no, it wasn’t a good idea. But, you pleaded with him, “Please?” You put your best puppy dog eyes on.

He smiled softly at that, “Okay.”

Relief coursed through your veins with just that one word, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, sweetheart, I always wanna be with you,” Even though he spoke with love, you could still hear some fear hiding behind his words. 

You decided to ignore it and began to stand, “Let’s go to bed then.”

Jasper began to stand with you and wrapped a light arm around your waist to help you up. Happiness filled you when he didn’t move to remove his arm when both of you were finally standing.

He looked down at you gently, “Lead the way, my lady.”

You gripped his hand in your good one and led him through the door. He moved behind you as you shut and locked the front door. You turned back to face him with soft, tired eyes and asked, “Bedroom?”

Jasper lightly nodded his head and intertwined your fingers with his again as he led you to the bedroom. Once you were both in, the door closed behind you with a soft click. 

You walked to the side of the bed that you normally slept on and moved the covers back. When you heard no movement from Jasper, you turned back and questioned, “Jazz?”

He was standing where you had left him, looking at the spot on the floor you fell to after he let you go that day. You quickly moved in front of him to block his view and raised your hand to his cheek. He turned his eyes to you and they were once again filled with self-hatred and misery.

Instead of bringing it up again, you said, “Let’s lay down now, okay?” You were gentle with him- scared that any fast movement or mention would send him running with his tail tucked. 

Jasper softly nodded his head and walked to his side of the bed. He slid under the covers with you sliding in after him. He helped you move around so you were resting on your back with your good shoulder tucked into him and your head laid down on his upper arm. Even though he didn’t sleep and had no reason to lay down, he always did with you when it was nighttime. 

You snuggled deeper into him and his scent, “Please, don’t leave me again.” Jasper swallowed, “I promise I never will, darlin’.”

“I love you infinitely, Jazz,” You spoke strong, hoping to engrave it deep into his bones. 

“I love you forevermore, darlin’,” Jasper spoke in a way that made the smile on his face visible to you even though you weren’t looking. 

You closed your eyes with the words and let the warmth of the covers combine with the cold of Jasper’s body pressed into yours. For the first time since that incident, you were able to fall asleep wrapped in love, warmth, and most of all safety. 

Jasper was yours just as much as you were his.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ❉

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

Hi guys ! First, I wanna thank anon for giving me this prompt and kicking my ass into writing something for this fandom. Anon, I really hope you enjoyed how I wrote your prompt ! Twilight holds tons of special memories for me and the movies definitely have a special place in my heart.

Secondly, I hope you all enjoyed this and feedback is always welcome ! I work hard to put stuff out there and make it the best I can so people enjoy reading it. I have a few more requests to write, but my inbox is always open for more, so submit away !

Thank you so much for reading ! Please stay safe and healthy out there !

Happy reading !

- K :) !

[loveisneurotic]

Kaguya-sama Blind Reaction/Analysis: S1E1

Hello everyone, this is my blog which I am currently using to react to and analyze Kaguya-sama: Love Is War much more seriously than I should analyze any romcom.

I have only seen the first episode of the anime, which this post shall explore using far too many words. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I may read the manga as well.

My analysis will contain spoilers. If you're thinking of watching this show and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you at least go check out the first episode yourself before reading any further. I don't know what the rest of the show is like, but what I've seen so far has been both entertaining and thought-provoking.

I'm going in mostly blind, but not entirely blind. There are a few images of the anime and manga that I have been exposed to, although without the attached context. Due to cultural osmosis and the sheer popularity of this work, perhaps that was almost inevitable.

Figure 1.1.1: Why did this guy write an essay about a single episode of an ongoing romcom?

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

Season 1 Episode 1

I Will Make You Invite Me to a Movie / Kaguya Wants to Be Stopped / Kaguya Wants It

Power dynamics in relationships

Figure 1.1.2: Immediately, the mangaka's tastes become clear.

I heard a saying once that really stuck with me: "The partner who cares the least has all of the power."

In the world of dating, I often sincerely believed this saying. You may yearn for someone's affection, but the other person need not give it to you until they are willing and ready. No matter how much you want it, you can't make someone more interested in you, unless you resort to being roundabout, such as adding some mystery and intrigue to your courtship. But is that excessive?

I once felt a potential lover slipping through my grasp, and before I knew it, I found myself chasing after them. As I was yearning for their attention, I felt as if I'd lost my dignity. It was humiliating. Painful. Was it just that they weren't the right person for me? Or was I not funny enough? Not charismatic enough? Not interesting enough? Too clingy? Too talkative? Should I have been more distant and given them more space? Did I seem too weak? Too eager? How should I have maximized my desirability? Regardless, I had surely lost. Perhaps they wanted the satisfaction and validation of conquering me. Playing me for a fool and asserting their superiority by being so distant. Isn't that right? Or is that just insecurity speaking? At what point is it ideal to cut one's losses and walk away?

If someone desperately wants the object of their affection to desire them, does that make them pathetic? Does it make them a loser? If you show more vulnerability and desire than the other person, does that truly make you the weak one in a relationship?

These questions plague our two protagonists and seem to be a driving force behind the main conflict. Since I have also grappled with how much to reveal my own feelings of desire, I find Kaguya-sama: Love Is War to be a particularly fascinating show.

Desire without action

Figure 1.1.3: Our protagonists are gifted with impressively high academic intelligence paired with impressively low emotional intelligence.

The show wastes no time in introducing us to our two main protagonists. Kaguya was born into a family of high stature (and says "ara ara" frequently enough to power a small country of weebs), whereas Shirogane is a "commoner" (Kaguya's word, not mine) who worked hard to reach the pinnacle of the student body. Like timid schoolchildren, they're crushing on each other, and yet they refuse to admit it due to their pride. Instead, they focus on getting their "opponent" to confess their love first.

What stuck out to me immediately is how they both have different ideas of what their relationship would be like. Shirogane envisions Kaguya as blushing, shy, and conventionally cute, whereas Kaguya (thankfully) envisions herself taking absolute dominance over Shirogane (which plenty of people should see coming as a character trait after the anime's very first scene). The bad news about this is that their two fantasies are at odds. The good news about this is that the mangaka has fantastic taste -- you can learn a lot about a storyteller based on the characterization of a love interest or lead character of the author's preferred gender.

In the event that the two of them become an actual couple, I wonder how on Earth they'll reach a compromise as to how they'll treat each other. Perhaps they will have to figure that out before they can even get that intimate.

I appreciate that we get to see both of their perspectives. It hammers home how everyone has a different truth in regards to what they desire and what they experience, and the show does not hold back when it comes to showing just how different these truths can be -- such as a certain lunch-themed sequence that I will talk about later. This works to great dramatic and comedic effect.

That said, when you spend your time fantasizing about what could happen instead of actually taking action, time is not so friendly to you.

Half a year passes.

Figure 1.1.4: Two geniuses dedicate their pride to wasting their life and energy.

Immediately, I got the impression that whoever wrote this segment of the story knows what they're doing. This is too real. And by "too real", I mean I very much appreciate the realism. How many of us have waited for ages (or for eternity) to confess our feelings to a specific someone?

This is the curse of having a crush and being incapable of acting on it. It's also why I hate having crushes.

Manufacturing affection in others, AKA the extraction of vulnerability

Figure 1.1.5: A plan is devised to weaponize jealousy in the name of affection.

To express your truest feelings means being vulnerable. That implies taking a risk and feeling responsible for any potential consequences of rejection, as well as putting our dignity on the line. It would be so much easier for the object of our affection to make themselves vulnerable instead. So instead of being direct and honest, we act indirect. We drop hints. We act suggestively, but not explicitly. We may even place them in situations where we think they are more likely to confess. If they don't pick up on it, we can pretend we didn't mean anything by it. That way, we don't have to risk our dignity. We can just wait for them to make the move.

It sucks.

Incidentally, it sucks even more when both you and your love interest are thinking that way.

It sucks infinitely more when both you and your love interest are COMMITTED to thinking that way.

Someone has to break the deadlock, whether that's immediately or eventually.

If this show isn't one of those romcoms where the status quo never changes ever (judging by the quality of writing, I have faith that it isn't), then at some point, either Shirogane or Kaguya is going to have to be explicit about how they really feel. And it's going to feel scarier to them than anything else they've ever done.

It's gonna be great.

If we could all grow up and live in environments where it's safe and encouraged for all of us to be honest about how we feel and what we want, surely love would be much less painful for so many people.

Chaos theory

Figure 1.1.6: If your prospective lover won't protect you, then your friend definitely will.

Chika is the ideal wild card and agent of chaos in this arena of love.

From a writing perspective, Chika is immensely useful. The mangaka probably could have gotten by without a third character in the mix, but she serves as a catalyst and an unknown element, able to create unpredictability and subversion of expectations. For a comedy-oriented story, this is invaluable.

Blissfully unaware of the mental turmoil that plagues our two lovesick dorks, she is able to unintentionally invalidate whatever schemes that Kaguya or Shirogane spent so much mental energy on, which adds extra comedy and tension for the audience. She is also an effective vehicle for Kaguya's jealousy and projection, as seen in the lunchbox scene which I have so graciously foreshadowed.

Figure 1.1.7: We have confirmed visual on an unidentified fourth person. Chekhov would love this. From their posture, I wonder if they'll be a gloomy character?

Misunderstandings and assumptions

I've heard that most interpersonal conflicts in life emerge from misunderstandings. In the absence of communication, assumptions are born and give rise to misunderstandings.

You may know where I'm going with this. Let's talk about the lunchbox sequence.

Figure 1.1.8 (not pictured because tumblr wishes to deny me of my image spam): Kaguya is too prideful to admit she thinks that a couple is doing something cute.

Figure 1.1.9: Pride is considered a sin for a reason.

From a writing perspective, I was impressed by the lack of romantic intentions in Shirogane in this whole sequence. Not once did he try to get Kaguya to show vulnerability to him. Instead, Kaguya is the only one spinning the situation in a romantic way, while Shirogane's driving force is the misunderstanding that Kaguya is looking down on him for what he eats. Because of this misunderstanding, Shirogane doubles down and makes his food even better, making the situation even more complicated and more stressful for Kaguya. This was definitely my favorite comedy sequence from the first episode.

I appreciate that the show has demonstrated the ability to create these scenarios where one of the characters doesn't even have love on their mind, but there are still romantic thoughts coming from the other character which drives the drama. It gives me a lot of faith in the variety this show will have to offer, and makes me excited to watch more.

When it comes to comedy rooted in misunderstandings, it is important to have miscommunication or lack of communication. In order to resolve a misunderstanding, you need to talk about it. For a pairing as dysfunctional as Kaguya and Shirogane, expecting healthy communication sounds highly unreasonable, which makes them prime material for a whole world of misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are rooted in assumptions about what the other person meant when they said something or made a certain gesture or expression. When Kaguya glared at Shirogane and his food, he didn't even think to ask "What's the matter?" He just made an assumption about how she felt. I wonder if trying to understand Kaguya's feelings would be considered a sign of weakness by Shirogane?

A prerequisite to initiating an emotional conversation is the desire to understand or be understood by the other person -- assuming that your assumptions haven't already built a narrative for you. It is far easier to make assumptions than it is to attempt any sort of understanding.

In the end, Shirogane fled, unwilling to confront or attempt to understand the intense and passive-aggressive Kaguya. Kaguya feels that she cannot directly ask to try his lunch, so perhaps this is the closest she can get to initiating such a conversation with him at this time. Despite their mind games where they imagine the reactions of their opponent, they still have a lot of difficulty understanding each other.

I am curious to see if this prospective couple's communication skills and emotional intelligence will improve over the course of the story.

The burden of potential romance

Figure 1.1.10: Even the infallible genius Kaguya succumbs to superficial jealousy. It's "mind over matter" versus "matter over mind". That's how the saying goes, right?

Chika is a free spirit, able to ask Shirogane for whatever she wants without being neurotic. That is the power of not being bounded by a crush. Kaguya, who lacks that degree of freedom, briefly loathes her for experiencing something that Kaguya cannot ask for. It's amazing how much someone's feelings for a friend can change without a single word being spoken between them. All it takes is an action, unintentional or not, combined with the raw strength of insecurity. Just as quickly, the status quo can return back to normal too, with the act of properly making up.

To Chika, asking for food from someone doesn't mean anything at all, whereas with Kaguya, it is an admission of defeat. In that sense, a relationship that will only ever be platonic brings peace of mind, whereas a relationship that can be potentially romantic brings leagues upon leagues of anxiety if the outcome is of great concern.

Love is neurotic.

Is love worth the pain? For some people, it is not. For others, the reward is immense -- but only if you can make sure your relationship with this person doesn't end up being a nightmare for your emotional health.

Love and self-identity

The final scene of the episode surprised me in a good way. It's a brief departure from the comedy, and reveals a more heartfelt side of the show.

Kaguya's servant asks her an insightful question. It is substantially more insightful than I would expect from any romcom: "If you fell in love some day, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love?" I found myself immediately curious to hear Kaguya's answer, since I knew it would be highly informative about her character.

"If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion." Even in the realm of love, Kaguya seems precise and calculating. It's as if she hesitates to give a straight answer, but then she confirms: "Of course I would go."

Figure 1.1.11: "Please understand."

It is not embarrassment or rejection that Kaguya fears; it is the absolute destruction of her identity and sense of self. Kaguya is the daughter of a family that practically runs the country. In her mind, everyone yearns for her and wishes to serve her. Turning that around and reaching out to another person to express her own desire would be a direct contradiction of that. It is probably a similar situation for Shirogane, where the infallible self-image he has built up is being put at risk during his romantic duels against Kaguya.

Kaguya clearly feels trapped. She and Shirogane see each other as threats to be conquered, but in reality, they both share a mutual enemy that is much more imposing and insidious: their own simultaneous disgust at the idea of vulnerability.

Their freedom is dominated by their insecurities, and so, even despite their impressive stature, they are still very human. Their upbringing that has lead them to become so accomplished may be more of a curse than a blessing, due to the resulting pride and self-image they likely feel pressured to uphold.

It is hard to cast aside a lie that you have bought into for your whole life.

If our two protagonists wish to have a chance of establishing a healthy romantic relationship, they have a lot of their own demons to overcome first. If they cannot set aside their pride and reach mutual understanding, they have no hope.

Until then, they will both remain trapped in a hell of their own design, however tragically comedic it may be.

My hopes for this story's future

I can tell that the mangaka, unlike far too many writers all over the world, actually seems to have a solid understanding of romance and the conflict that arises within. I've watched too many anime that place huge focus on the "will they or won't they" crap which never runs any deeper than one or both of the characters being too embarrassed to just say what they're thinking, without any sort of convincing mental blocker. In that case, it's clearly just manufactured drama which is designed to pad out the story and waste your time rather than pose interesting questions and themes. In the case of Kaguya and Shirogane, the two of them have substantial communication issues which are depicted in a comedic yet mature way, which I have found engaging.

I very much hope that the show will more deeply explore the themes and questions surrounding the ideas of vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and superiority within relationships. Kaguya and Shirogane have been set up to be great vehicles for such exploration, and I hope the mangaka can capitalize on that, especially if our protagonists can confront these issues directly.

My impression is that the ending will make or break this story. If the mangaka can pull it off well, I can already believe the payoff will be hugely satisfying.

Of course, in order to get to that point, we'll have to see a certain something. It has to do with the most sacred word amongst romcom enthusiasts: "progress". Indeed, after spending chapters upon chapters watching two characters bumble around amidst the same exact status quo, those little signs of advancements in a relationship are highly rewarding.

Underneath all of their aggression, if we can see Kaguya and Shirogane slowly open up to each other and realize the benefits of vulnerability, I think we could witness something really beautiful and really emotionally cathartic.

I've still only seen one episode, but I believe the mangaka has laid a fantastic groundwork for a series and can do a great job developing upon what I've seen so far. On that note, I will surpass our prideful protagonists by opening my heart to this story and entrusting it with my vulnerability, believing it can deliver satisfying development and resolution. You can do it!

Closing thoughts

I did not expect to write so much about a single episode of an ANIME of all things, but here we are. If only I could conjure this kind of power back when I actually needed it in high school English class!

The first episode alone is already so rich with characterization and themes that I managed to find quite a lot to talk about. Given how much I found myself relating to the characters and some of their situations, it's clear to me how this show became so popular. Not only are the animation, direction, and writing excellent, but also many people can probably relate to love feeling like a battlefield.

I do not want to believe in the idea of winners and losers in relationships. That idea creeps into my head whenever I'm having trouble keeping the interest of a new date, and I find myself wondering where those thoughts even come from. Lately, I have been reflecting on the way I relate to other people. Perhaps I've started experiencing this show at a time in my life when I most needed it, and that's why I felt driven to write such a large analysis.

This show poses some very interesting questions about romance that I do not actually know the answer to at the time of writing. I do not know yet how much the show is actually going to explore these themes. Regardless, I appreciate how this show is helping me reflect, and I am curious to see if and how the mangaka will answer some of the questions brought about by the story's themes.

This is a show that I'll most likely have to pace myself with. There was so much to process in this first episode alone. If I went any faster, I'm not sure if I'd even catch all of the details and character moments. I'm excited to move onto the second episode soon.

A highly subjective footnote about my cultured tastes

I'm glad that Kaguya is a sadistic dom with a gentle and vulnerable side, solely on the basis of that being my favorite personality type in a love interest. It also helps that it makes Kaguya's fantasies that much funnier with Shirogane acting so out of character. I feel like this show was made for me.

What was I writing about again? Oh yeah, writing a gigantic wall of text about an anime romcom. Somehow, I spent an entire day on this essay. Hopefully someone got a kick out of it.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

@10catslover​ @random-ass-fanboy​ ugh I guess this is how I’m doing this because apparently there still isn’t a better way to reply to replies in new posts, anyway these are replies to this post

my impression is that it’s because...a lot of Loki fans are also big Tony Stark fans, for a variety of reasons (the same reasons Frostiron is almost certainly the biggest Loki ship that isn’t Thorki, and for that matter I don’t actually know how the two compare to each other in numbers). I mean there are other reasons to be frustrated, like the fact that they’re both magically powerful in comics and only one of them gets to be that way in the MCU, or the way MCU Loki and MCU Wanda both started out as significant enemies of the Avengers for kinda complicated reasons and the writers only gave one of them a chance to earn forgiveness and fight for the good guys when in any just world Loki would’ve had that chance a while ago too...although as far as the latter goes, Nebula represents an even more egregious case because as far as I’m aware she’s still pretty solidly a villain in comics--one you can’t help feeling bad for, but a consistent and mostly intentional villain anyway--and she got a definitive redemption arc in the MCU regardless, and I...don’t typically see Loki fans hating her for that? I mean, they shouldn’t, I love MCU Nebula and her arc, but I am mad MCU Loki didn’t also get to have basically the same arc like he deserved, especially when I consider that his comics counterpart seems to have a much more complicated history than Nebula does, which means you can’t even go “well one is a Hero in comics and the other is a Villain” as a way of explaining it the way you can with Wanda and Loki. obviously Nebula is not the one on everyone’s minds right now, which I’m sure has something to do with it!

but--yeah, my sense is that this pattern of some Loki fans disliking Wanda is largely because a lot of Loki fans are also Tony fans, and generally speaking, Tony fans tend to not like Wanda very much because of how she was introduced in Age of Ultron...and then Civil War compounded the issue...and the reverse is also true to some extent, so it kind of turns into a nasty feedback loop where, for instance, someone who likes one character and is indifferent to the other starts actively disliking the second character because that character’s fans dislike their fave, and the more defensive people get about their faves, the more they tend to go on the offense and the nastier everything gets.

just taking myself as an example, my knee-jerk response--which I usually don’t actually say, I just silently seethe about it--whenever I see Wanda-negative posts (or Steve-negative posts because there’s typically a lot of overlap there too) basically boils down to “yeah well what about YOUR fave’s death count, what about all the shit YOUR fave gets away with, why is YOUR fave’s trauma a meaningful reason for his actions but my fave’s trauma isn’t, how about THAT”...even if the post in question never actually mentioned Tony. I mean, it usually does at some point in the reblogs or in other posts so I think my assumption is justified, but it’s also true that I automatically assume someone’s Steve or Wanda negativity is a direct result of them loving Tony whether the post itself gives me a reason to think that or not, so my defensive reaction of my faves immediately jumps to what is probably a preemptive attack on Tony’s flaws because of the assumptions I’m making...and again, I suspect the reverse is also basically true (i.e., people who were mostly indifferent to Wanda start disliking her more because they see what seems to be random Tony-bashing from Wanda fans).

so it’s all just...one big nasty feedback loop that I really wish we could all try harder to avoid. like...there are probably ways we can criticize narrative treatments of different characters without actively shitting on those characters, right? or, I don’t know, focusing more specifically on “here’s why I think Character A keeps getting shafted and it sucks, especially when Characters B through G do similar things that are portrayed differently, which is a problem of writing and not one of those characters and their fans inherently being The Worst” rather than “Character A keeps getting shafted and that’s why I made 10 posts in a row about how much I hate Character B”? or at least really trying to look at things in good faith instead of jumping straight to “Character B’s stans are delusional”? I mean fuck, we’re all here because we love something about the fandom, right? can we...try to focus on that? can we at least stop calling each other delusional (a specific thing that seems to come up a lot) for having different opinions and interpretations?

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hawks’ performance review

So now that a certain super long arc or Hero Academia’s is finally done, I wanted to give 1 final review to the actions of easily it’s most controversial actor (which is an accomplishment to say the least); Hawks. Go over everything, get it all out, & use this as a way of resolving my thoughts on his influence on the arc.

A warning going in; while I consider myself a Hawks fan, I have no intention of going easy on him in the slightest for when he messes up. And spoilers: he didn’t do so hot. So if you’re the kind of fan who doesn’t like a fav getting smack talked, no judgement but this may not be the meta post for you.

Pre-planning:

Now despite my known opinions of his conduct, there is good to talk about; fittingly enough at the very start of the arc with his pre-planning. Hawks did do objectively excellent in gaining the needed information from the PLF and passing it along to his allies. This not only included locations & important dates, but base layouts and enemies of interest. Additionally: his recruitment of Jeanist, while using questionable methods (I still don’t know why he drew a weapon on him), did end up being quite a smart move. I honestly want to give him full marks...however, it was his idea to bolster the invading hero army’s numbers; an idea which became using child soldiers. His roll in that war crime, as well as another point of pre-planning we’ll discuss later, well be held against him; but hey, almost full marks in this category is still kinda good.

But we must also talk about his actual field work; which means we must discuss, one last time...the incident. The bad incident. The society damaging incident. The incident from which his carrier, his dignity, and his respect as a hero can never recover. That incident. This is where the good stops.

Field work/The incident:

See, for all that Hawks did his dirty deeds for the ‘greater good’ no good has yet come from it. The heroes he saved from Twice immediately had to go up against Gigantomachia (just as unstoppable, far more murderous), his actions inspired Toga to kill an old lady, and Dabi used him as evidence that all heroes suck actually. And on a personal level for him (which I do care about, as his fan, make no mistake); he killed one of his only actual friends, burned all his bridges out of the HC’s grasp, and paid for the fuel with his wings. Like, unless the HC drop him for being quirkless, he might be trapped now that he’s shown complete loyalty to their interests. In other words, the direct results of his course of actions were 100% devastating consequences.

Though to be honest; that’s probably how it should be, narratively. The murder of Twice was a failing on Hawks’ part on every level. 1) He broke one of the rules a hero must never break by committing murder. 2) He did this because he failed to non-fatally apprehend a villain, despite that being his job which he is the 2nd best at in the country. 3) Evidence suggests Hawks went in planning to kill Twice if he didn’t take his offer, and in during so let opportunities to apprehend him slip by (for example, by letting him get his last words in instead of retraining or knocking him out. This was before Dabi’s arrival). 4) As a result of his actions, his friend in need of saving died right in front of him.

A failure to save, a failure to apprehend, a failure as a moral guardian, and actions that are the complete antithesis of “Plus Ultra”. (Though I suppose is his defense, he never did go to UA.) While his fans like to portray Hawks’ actions as a “tough call” he made, the fact is that moral & professional failures like that narratively shouldn’t see results.  Any of these would warrant serious reprimands for heroes with 4-digit ranks or 1st year hero students; so for the no.2 hero to perform all 4 failures is unforgivable.

Risk Assessment Review/Was it actually worth anything?:

And see, I’ve been trying my best to keep track of what things would be like if Twice were alive, so I can tell you they haven’t seen results. Nothing major changes if Twice were alive. Despite Caleb’s “points,” Jin couldn’t clone super Shiggy without a chance to get his data, and it’s unlike he was able to clone Machia either given that he didn’t, so he wouldn’t have had a huge effect on proceedings. Likely, he would’ve chilled with Spinner & Compress ‘till capture. He wouldn’t have been able to escape Jeanist either if he was retrained properly (which he would’ve been, as Jeanist is actually good at apprehending villains), since his clones would break before putting any real strain on steel cables.

It’s only after Compress rescued everyone cold a case be made for how Twice might’ve changed things. But that case could not be made easily, as the events following Compress’ escape act were shaped largely by the whims of AFO. So...*shrug*. We have no idea if Twice would’ve been taken or left behind, or if he’d have been in shape to do anything if he was free to act. Though it is worth restating that Jeanist, like Hawks, had the skill and the quirk to counter Sad Man’s parade.

(And of course, all of these assumptions are made going along with the belief that Twice would be free if Hawks hadn’t killed him; which I believe to be a false dichotomy. The reality is that Hawks’ favorable quirk match-up against Twice should have allowed him to apprehend him had Hawks conducted himself as a proper hero. Oh and did I mention he keeps his wings in that scenario? Because he does.)

Conclusion:

Well I think my most surprising finding is that Hawks might actually have a good future in some kind of hero-adjacent desk job since he seems better at that kind of stuff than field work. His main strengths seem to be in long term planning, and secret communication. (Although he did also encourage a war crime, so let’s not give him too much credit here.)

But reviewing his hero work plainly shows that did not go well, to put it lightly. To reiterate his main 4 mistakes that would result in serious reprimands for 1st years; he demonstrated a complete lack of faith in his own abilities to carry out his duty as a hero, he resorted to immoral methods to make up for this, resulting in him not only failing to apprehend a villain, but save a friend in need of help. This resulted not only unnecessary deaths and societal damage they’ll be feeling for a while, but Hawks also might’ve ruined his life in all kinds of different ways.

Overall; yeah he didn’t do so hot, and it’s really changed my opinion of the character from before this arc (back before I was even posting, God this arc was long). I mean, I still enjoy him; but I do now think less of his moral character, and also now enjoy ripping into how bad he is at his job. Regardless, this is all my thoughts on the matter, so hopefully this is the last time I write meta about Hawks for a while...well except for the post I’ve been meaning to make predicting what the future & the HC has in store for him. (Although if that interests you...get comfy waiting; I’m pretty slow at these things.)

[serpentstole]

Luciferian Challenge: Day 12+13 (And 22)

A few of these prompts ended up being very similar in theme, so I’ve combined them into a bit of a long reply.

Dogma is something we throw about…that we reject it. Where do you think we may fall short as Luciferians/Satanists when it comes to dogma? Do you think dogma has a certain value?

I don’t think dogma has any value really, no, as I don’t like the idea of rules or ideas that cannot be questioned on principle. Even as a child, I took issue with blind obedience. My mother once called me downstairs, and I asked why, and my father got angry and said that I shouldn’t bother to ask why and just do it, and that even if one of them told me to jump out of a window they probably had a good reason for it.

That memory is seared into my brain and still irks me.

I do think rules themselves can be important, but when we speak of rejecting dogma it’s typically in the sense of it being some authoritative status quo that cannot be discussed or challenged. I think my example above is a good example of that, as petty as it may seem: that parents should be obeyed without question and with the assumption they have our best interests at heart.

I do not believe there’s room for that sort of attitude in an empathetic and respectful society, even towards children. Respecting their natural curiosity and teaching them about bodily autonomy is something I think can only be a net good. The only thing growing up in a strict household taught me, where there was little room for negotiation or challenging of the way things were, was how to be a decent liar.

It harmed me in far more ways than it helped instill any positive values, and while I would not want to belittle the experiences of anyone in a similar boat, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. There are some families where a dogmatic stance, whether based in politics or religion, can lead to the alienation or outright abandonment of LGBT youth, of young women who wish control over their own bodies, of those with views that differ from their parents’, or any other black sheep.

I feel like this question and my thoughts on it really go hand in hand with the next one, so I’m going to actually combine them into one post and make up the difference later.

Do you think it’s dogma or silly to say what Luciferianism/Satanism is not?

I do not think it’s dogmatic to say what Luciferianism or Satanism is or isn’t. The reason I’ve kept both labels in these two prompts, when I’ve removed them in every other post, is because I spent a lot of time in a mixed Luciferian and Satanist community during the beginning of my religious journey. Despite our differences, especially in the case of Atheist Satanism versus Theistic Luciferianism, I saw a great deal of overlap in a lot of the values/ideals, inspirations, and talking points. 

I think outlining those ideals and values is important to just… having a label. Words mean things. Religious affiliations and ideas mean things. Even saying you belong to or adhere to a school of thought typically has some manner of definition or parameters. While Luciferianism and Satanism can be incredibly diverse when it comes to the details of one’s ethics and morals, practices, views of the divinity or lack there of, and other suck points, there’s a good deal that does unite us that’s reflected in the archetypal figures our religions are named after. I also believe that certain aspects of what is seen as the Standard Luciferian should be weighed more or less heavily. For example, I don’t see my irritation with hostility towards Christianity as something that makes me less of a Luciferian.

However, I want to combine these two prompts with one more to round out my view of this topic. 

What do you disagree with Luciferians/Satanists most?

In the goddamn dogma they cling to and perpetuate while claiming to be adversarial to or enlightened above such ideas. It’s become almost a meaningless buzzword. It barely still looks like a real word to me anymore. This is honestly where my post goes completely off the rails into a mini essay, so it’s under the cut.

The idea that all “Abrahamic” religions should be treated as inherently harmful and oppressive is a bad take. 

That Christianity, Judaism, and Islam should even be lumped together when discussing such issues betrays a shallow understanding of these religions that’s been regurgitated from one person to another, typically through a culturally Christian lens.

The idea that “only LaVeyan Satanism should be called Satanism because nothing else that calls itself Satanism is actually Satanism” is exhausting, and I will fist fight Anton myself in hell.

The principles of Might Makes Right and Social Darwanism that some Satanists perpetuate is dumb and bad and wrong, sorry, that’s the only rebuttal I’m dignifying that school of thought with. Once again, I will be fist fighting Anton in hell.

And that’s to say nothing of the Satanists and Luciferians out there that regurgitate the same racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted bigotries that they’ll condemn religions like Christanity for while perpetuating it with a coat of black paint. Because I have absolutely seen this first hand, both as an observer and as the target of it.

Like... I can’t speak on Islam at all, because I have very very limited experience with it from both a research and real life experience point of view, and thus I’m not comfortable making any claims. On the other hand, I do know that to list all the ways that Judaism is not a dogmatic religion would deserve its own post written by someone far more knowledgeable than me, and it somehow still gets lumped into the Problematic n’ Dogmatic category of AbRaHaMiC ReLiGiOnS. For that reason, in the case of Islam, I can’t help but wonder if the assumption that it’s also dogmatic comes from the harmful assumption that it’s a religion that’s strict to the point of harshness that a lot of people have.

Even in the case of Christianity, which I would argue (as someone who I’d say was raised within the church) is hands down the most seemingly dogmatic of the three (particularly in North America), this is just not universally true. If it was, there probably wouldn’t be so many branches and denominations, many of which cannot stand each other and think the rest are misguided at best and heretical at worst. This is something that’s even brought up in the Satanic Bible; I’ve read the miserable thing. Have you ever seen someone say “Christians and Catholics”? That’s a pretty loaded example of how much disagreement exists within the religion when an entire core branch of it is considered tangentially related.

Not to mention, I was raised Lutheran. That came about because a German Catholic got incredibly steamed at his own religion so he made a more boring different version of it. While the existence of dogma has led to these schisms, historically speaking, the end result has been a religion so varied that it’s hard to say what is and isn’t treated as inarguable law. If you don’t believe me, try talking to a Protestant pastor about the Seven Deadly Sins and see how far you get. I tried during confirmation class and got shut down immediately... but on the flip side, my church was pretty accepting of LGBT folks, which I think some people would claim Christianity is dogmatically against by default.

Is there dogmatic thinking within specific churches or branches or communities? Absolutely, I wouldn’t argue that. I think it can arise in any community, religious or not, but that some religious communities seem to be particularly vulnerable to it. But the harm those specific cases could do should be where our focus goes, not the condemnation of these religions or the concept of religion as a whole, which I touched on in a previous prompt. 

I’m not some glorious enlightened mind. I would not want to give the impression that I think I hold in my hands the One True Way to do Luciferianism, or that I think the majority of this religious community are uncritical edgelords. This is, after all, my answer to the thing I take issue with the most, not my thoughts on Luciferianism or Satanism as a whole. I just don’t think it should be a particularly hot take that Religious Discrimination Is Bad Actually, or that maybe you can be rebellious and adversarial and hedonistic and enlightened while still genuinely giving a shit about people. Because otherwise what’s the point?

If we are hostile and rebellious with no actual end goal, no greater cause or purpose, we are simply being contrarian for the sake of it. If we blame the idea of organized religion instead of those who manipulate and abuse faith and scripture for selfish and malicious ends, we’ve missed the point, as I said in the aforementioned previous post. Not all of us have the ability to become an activist, obviously, and I would not ask you to. But I think as those who would claim to reject dogmatic thinking and strive to embody either the ideals of enlightenment or the adversary would do well to be ever questioning their preconceptions of the world around them, of other religions, and of less obvious unjust structures of power.

I don’t know why a community that believes in illumination and free thinking sees the world in such black and white ways.

While I will always strive for a greater understanding of the world, and I hold the concept of enlightenment very dear to my heart, I think it’s something that one spends a lifetime working towards. Alongside my favourite quotes from Paradise Lost, I hold the Socratic Paradox of “I know that I know nothing” as a personal motto, and I wish more people who I share this label with would do the same.

[crossdressingdeath]

You have ranted about why Sera can make some people want to bash her in (which is fair and I agree with the points you made). And Cassandra wasn't really handled that well in DAI, especially where faith was involved. But what about your thoughts on Vivienne?

Hm... Could have been better! But also could have been considerably worse. Like, it’s been a while, but if memory serves there is at least one point where you can essentially say that the current Circle system isn’t working and she’ll approve of that? She wants what’s best for mages, she’s just got skewed views of what that entails. Also it makes sense that Vivienne thinks the way she does; she’s lived an extraordinarily good life for a Circle mage and has never actually seen how bad it gets for those mages who aren’t as lucky as she was. The fact that she’s never forced to confront the fact that her life has been good because she was lucky enough to land in a good Circle and pick up a wealthy lover, not because the Circles as a whole are good, is a major writing fail, but at least her beginning position is logical. Also she’s not a massive asshole about it the way Sera and Cassandra are; Vivienne is misguided, but never cruel. Which honestly sums up a lot of your companions, come to think of it, and that’s why the fact that no one in Inquisition is ever forced to confront their biases and rethink their assumptions sucks so much. So many of these characters would improve, if put in a situation where they had to face how bad things get for these people that they don’t see as part of the group needing help or how much damage the things they think of as harmless actually do, but they never get that chance. Hey, maybe instead of a quest where you kill a wyvern for Vivienne’s boyfriend we could have had a quest where she runs into a bunch of Kirkwall survivors or something and has to face the fact that not all Circles are as good to the mages within as hers was to her! Or maybe she finds out that she herself came perilously close to getting sent to Kirkwall! Or both! Basically as a starting point for a character Vivienne is excellent, but the fact that she’s never allowed to grow beyond that starting point kind of fucks her over.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE OTHER HALF OF THE RESOURCEFUL

Up till a few years ago an Italian friend of mine who knows nearly all the rest, the lead is out too. Instead of a beautiful but fragile flower that needs to have its stem in a plastic tube to support itself, better to be small, ugly, and indestructible. The fact that hackers learn to hack by doing it is another sign of how different hacking is from the sciences. Not because they contribute more to the startup, but not so they can sue competitors. So obviously that is what we should be able to be included in it. Some say it's because their culture encourages cooperation. Another popular explanation is that wisdom comes from experience while intelligence is innate. Nor is there anything wrong with that.

We take for granted things we would consider shockingly luxurious. You may need to be designed for human feet. In the last couple years they've extracted hundreds of millions of dollars from them. But it seems to bother a lot of parentheses by making indentation significant. And at Y Combinator is not to be desperate. Now we'll show it to you and your friends, to people in Nepal, and to know how to improve them. I'm sure Larry and Sergey were noobs at fundraising. You need the young hacker's naive faith in his abilities, and at the same time. But if you get a lot of code. What should you do in the design. I feel bad making an example of this book, even after I'd forgotten I'd learned it.

Those whose jobs require them to judge art, like curators, mostly resort to euphemisms like significant or important or getting dangerously close realized. The whole field is uncomfortable in its own right, and that it is not dense enough. Another probably even worse obstacle is that one has higher standards. I realize it may seem cool to get paid for doing easy stuff, after paying to do hard stuff in college. If you start from the mistaken assumption that Instagram was worthless, you have to figure out what the problem is more with the patent office takes a while to gain momentum. Why isn't it? This only seems unfair if it comes as a surprise.

In existing open-source is probably the single most important difference between a good hacker? Meet such investors last if at all. A good language, as everyone who's had a regular job can tell you, is that it also means there's no such thing as good art, but for those who make it often try to trick us. They use the latest stuff. We couldn't believe large numbers of preposterously over-broad patent, the USPTO are not hackers. In the middle you have people working on something great. It means arguments of the form Life is too short for, the word that pops into my head is bullshit. If the number of people who could start a startup.

In some applications, the processor will be the last you ever raise. In the big angel rounds that increasingly compete with series A rounds aren't going away, I think, is to have the upper hand over investors, if you can. A quality that's inborn will obviously be more convenient to work with than one that's broad but hypothetical. Frightening as it seemed to them, not something that was a property of the subject or the object if subjects all react similarly. Unfortunately, patent law is inconsistent on this point. Hackers, likewise, can learn to be a good thing when it happens, because these new investors will be hot to close, which is that it has made it easier to learn to hack by doing it is another sign of how different hacking is from the sciences. At the time, instead of what I wanted to do anything that completely took over my life the way a painting is drowned out. For example, the editor could display bottlenecks in red when the programmer edits the source code. And in particular, younger and more technical founders will be able to write a program decides what language to use by someone else. So probably math is more worth studying than computer science.

You have to invent anything. In this case the super-angels are really mini VC funds, and they turned out ok. Nearly all the greatest paintings are paintings of people, you've found a gold mine. The constraints that limit ordinary companies also protect them. They seem to work just as well without, however, you'll start to think of them. All that matters is how hard the project is technically, and that you haven't thought much about it, including even its syntax, and anything you write has, as much as possible, preferably in the first couple generations. Debugging, I was taught in college that one ought to figure out what's actually wrong with him, and treat that. The founder who handles fundraising should make a conscious effort to avoid addictions—to stand outside ourselves and ask is this how I want to free the idea of the corporate ladder is probably gone for good.

But there are two things different here from the usual confidence-building exercise. I don't think there's any limit to the amount of selling required in an industry is always inversely proportional to the judgement of art. If a writer rewrites an essay, people who read the source read it in illicit photocopies of John Lions' book, which though written in 1977 was not allowed to flake. Letting focus groups design your cars for you only wins in the short term. That has worked for some groups in the past been the ones with the most power. In an earlier essay I said that VCs were a lot like being a doctor. And since a startup is like being proud of your college grades. But there is something structural and therefore legitimate about their behavior. They may have to decide what to do next.

In the worst case, it will also start to matter less where they go to VC firms they have to be thinking, wow, this is not how to have good taste, which is then executed by an interpreter. So cultivating intelligence seems to be a property of objects after all. I can think of are W. Most people have learned to treat saying yes as like diving off a diving board, and they know how much jobs suck. Tv are a good example. The other reason parents may be mistaken is that, at this early stage, there are some smart hackers there they could invest in. Since the goal of this rule is to avoid messing up the series A, there's obviously an exception if you end up raising more than they would be for the company to build their product for them. The most important thing about a car is the image it projects. The fascinating thing about optimizing for growth is that it sucks for doing what hackers want to do.

[kob131]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XgKp9jj4Is

*sigh* Great, yet ANOTHER ‘Let’s rewrite Adam’ argument made by miss ‘It’s hard to keep track of RWBY characters like Zwei.’

“Degredation of Adam’s character from Blake’s mentor to an abusive ex to a whiny incel who makes insults like it’s his Pokémon name.”

A. “Blake’s mentor” is not a character. It is a description and not even a bare bones one.

B. What is the difference between an abusive ex and an incel exactly? They’re both used to describe despicable people in relation to romance.

C. That is not what incel. You’re using it as a generic insult and thus that last description may as well say ‘Adam bad’ for all the substance it has.

D. Adam always made stupid insults. People laughed at his voice in the Black Trailer and in Volume 3 for fuck’s sake.

And E. What WOULD you make Adam that wouldn’t just make him every generic freedom fighter?

“We’re gonna drop the abusive angel completely and go with Monty’s original plan-”

Done.

You just killed your own video by assuming a dead man’s intention with no fucking reason other than ‘mouthpiece.’

I have no reason to accept anything you say in good faith after this. Before you say that you wanted to change as little as possible then change a massive aspect while using a corpse as a meat shield from criticism.

You are owed nothing from this point on.

‘You don’t doodle your abuser in your notebook-”

Unless, you know, think about them. But hey, why use your brain when you can rely on the inevitable RWBY haters to drown out all criticism?

‘The abuse angle is the worst explored in the show-”

Proof?

No?

Considering your history, I HIGHLY doubt that.

“*Insert Adam into the Volume 2 train fight instead of the WF Lieutennat because he was an out of nowhere threta*”

...

So the Black Trailer and the Volume 2 finale never happened...or you’re an incompetent idiot.

“It gives the scene more weight because we know who Adam is-”

We also know who the WF lieutenant is AND we don’t waste an important character for a worthless fight that amounts to nothing as the train fights ultimately mean NOTHING.

Congrats, you made Adam worse because his first in series fight had him giving a good performance. Here, he can’t even kill Weiss (and in fact, as I am about to explain, he’d get CURB STOMPED by Weiss.)

Just as well, you’ll need to completely change his weakness. Adam is a glass cannon, he can dish out a lot of damage and move quickly but one good hit knocks him down. Makes sense since he’s not exactly big and buff and he can’t fight back when someone isn’t intimidated by him. It also makes him dangerous to Yang as she relies on taking hits at first which she can’t do with Adam because she often flings herself in ways that make dodging impossible. It also makes sense why Blake can fuck him over and why she can get fucked over: she’s also fragile but evasive which connects her with Adam too.

But say he fights, I dunno, someone who can zip around quickly in a manner that he can’t block the attacks and would logically get fucked over quickly by. Like say, a Semblance that zips you from spot to spot like WEISS’. 

Yeah, he’d lose in an instant against Weiss because he’s never seen to be able to block attacks moving that fast and he’d get fucked over quick. So you’d need to up his durability and suddenly he loses a logical weakness that is represented by his personality, connecting him to Blake, basically making him a Yang clone and now you need a NEW weakness. Suddenly a lot of Adam’s interesting elements SHATTER.

This is why Adam rewrites suck. None of you think through your writing. You make the same mistakes that Miles and Kerry made but with less experience, less insight and less care and then pile on EVEN MORE flaws.

Worst of all, the bullshit you give about ‘knowing his threat level’ ignores other factors like appearance, attitude and fighting style. Oh wait, I know why. If we include those, the WF Lieutennat suddenly becomes a clear threat. His appearance is distinctly different from the WF goons, with his tall and thick frame indicating he’s strong and durable while his choice of weapon shows he would have a strong but slow fighting style and his attitude shows that if Weiss loses she could very well die a PAINFUL death by a sadist chainsaw wielding terrorist. (’More tension’ my ass.)

You throw out so much just for ONE point that was accomplished in the original anyway. What the fuck else are you gonna muck up?

“Have adam be there to show Adam working with Torchwick-”

Which Blake would already assume since the WF is working with Torchwick and Adam LEADS the WF. But I guess Blake is too stupid to do basic math.

“Then have Adam let Blake run away-”

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Run to where?! They are in an enclosed space! Adam should be chasing after her! He has every reason to chase after her, both personal and professional!

“Then we can have dialogue that goes something like this in Volume 3: Adam: “I don’t want to have to fight you but I will if I have to. Blake: No no, Humans aren’t bad people! Adam: I have seen what they can do. Your family kept you safe. I wasn’t so lucky-”

Cool, so he’s every generic ‘sympathetic’ freedom fighter now.

Instead of being a deconstruction of the noble wounded freedom fighter, showing how such a person would be impossible for such a situation from the extremity of the harm done to him, the manipulation by his superiors for their own ends and his own faults, he’s just a generic pity bag now.

No wait, a SHITTY generic pity bag now because in the Black Trailer, he explictedly tried to blow up innocent people on a train. Blake even questioned him on it and he said ‘So?’. That isn’t the reaction of some noble but misguided person, that’s the reaction of someone so far off the deep end they’ve lost basic sympathy.

Trying to make him out to be noble here would be like trying to make me believe Raven is this secret loving mother or this protector: their actions in the past CONTRADICT this.

‘But Twiinks never said that-’

Her choice of words did. The words you choose your characters to say speaks about how we are suppose to view them. Adam’s word choice in the original communicates a dangerous sadism and madness built from pain and a lack of emotional maturity. This version communicates a sadness stemming from a supposed kindness that Adam SHOULDN’T have.

‘But it tells us what they’re stances on humans are-’

So did the original while also why we should route for Blake over Adam (i.e. she’s still sane and tries to be kind while Adam has lost it and is being cruel and vindictive.)

We literally lost something here.

“He truly feels like this is the only way to help Fanaus-”

So we're now working off the assumption he cares about the Fanaus and not just himself and his own pain, deconstructing how real life movements become corrupted from their original purpose by focusing on their own personal pain than a universal kindness.

Cool, so Adam isn’t Adam anymore.

“Adam still stabs Sienna but it’s about the orgnazation instead of a lame power grab-”

*rolls eyes*

I really hate these rewrites. Why do you even bother with Adam if you tear out the character and insert someone completely different? 

“Adam is remorseful, Sienna says something like ‘I would rather die than give you the organization’, and Adam apologizes. Perfect scene.”

A cheesy line that rings hollow and more OOC. Wonder-fucking-ful. I also looked ahead and saw that you are changing Adam’s character short to be about getting his scar. (More on that mess when we get to it.) So Adam being used by Sienna to push for her more violent agenda over Ghira’s peaceful one, something used by the show to show we shouldn’t be shitty to each other (AKA A core theme) still exists. Meaning that what should be Sienna paying for her sins by having the very person she used to push her agenda take it to its logical extreme, kill her in turn and destroy her work is just nonsensical pity begging.

I also assume Adam declaring his idea of Fanaus Supremacy and basically quoting Mein Kampf is still in the show since you never address that. Cool, so either I pity a woman who screwed this man’s life or I pity Furry Hitler. *slow claps*

“During the Volume 5 fight, his breaks and we see his scar-”

...

I’m not even surprised by how dumb this shit is. 

Adam’s scarf reveal in Volume 6 was wonderful and one of the best moments in the show. For so long, we saw Adam as someone who was destructive and hateful for no reason and right there, the audience is forced to see that while his actions are inexcusable, his reasons are very human and very real. He’s not a monster, he’s a person whose consumed by pain. At the very end of his life, Adam wasn’t a monster: he was a sorrowful reminder of what pain does to a person.

What does the scar reveal do here? ... Nothing. Seeing his face in full means nothing. Twiinks doesn’t even say anything about it. It’s just there because she wants a look of remorse and thinks that can’t be accomplished with the mask. Even though we could see him cry or have a look of sorrowful anguish. Adam can emote fine without his mask.

I just-I can’t believe this.

”The Adam short is now instead of a bunch of emotionless fight scenes now about how Adam got his scar-”

...

Just more pissing on what makes Adam good. Yeah yeah...

The Adam short is not just a bunch of emotionless fight scenes. The fight scene you show (of Adam protecting Ghira) shows so much. It shows the struggles of the peaceful White Fang, it shows Adam being shocked at killing a human as he hadn’t fallen yet, it shows Sienna using Adam to push her violence without concern for his well being and it shows how he got it into his head killing was fine.

That was ONE scene. ONE. Your scar replacement as a whole would have less impact (as we can tell how got it from context clues) than ONE scene.

Are you guys getting WHY I hate rewrites of RWBY so much?

“Adam finds Oscar-”

If this doesn’t end with “and then he kills Oscar” I don’t care. Even this version of Adam would jump at killing a human and would have no idea Oscar knows Blake.

And it doesn’t. Great. BTW, Oscar wouldn’t know about the plan at this point so him showing up at the CCT tower isn’t explained and this scene is pointless.

“Adam would show up at the CCT tower, killing the CCT guards while ranting about equality and justice. Blake jumps in, leading him away to the waterfall. She says ‘Adam, you’ve gone too far! You’re just as bad as the people who hurt you!’“

Gee, that wasn’t clear when he tried BLOWING UP A TRAIN FULL OF INNOCENT PEOPLE?!

Also, Twiinks tries to push this idea that Blake wants to reconnect with Adam (which makes no sense as she LEFT Adam).

“Now we have the decapitation scene-”

We know she’s not gonna die, the fear came from the destruction of beacon and Yang being injuried. Of course Blake isn’t gonna die here.

“-moved to a thematically appreciate moment in the story-”

Considering you didn’t give two shits about thematic before, why the fuck would I care now?

“-Yang isn’t involved as to not muddy how if it was self defense.-”

So Yang’s arc is just scrapped and instead of having someone around who went through similar shit as Adam with a similar mindset and personality to dislay how wrong he is, we have a far shittier version that doesn’t even serve it’s purpose as protecting friends and family is covered by self defense and the people who bitched now would still bitch because Adam dying is the issue, not self defense.

“We see regret in Adam’s eyes-”

Means nothing because he was just a loon at this point out of nowhere and he’s still a terrible person. See, the thing is you can give a pitiable side to characters like Adam but you have to accept there is still good reason to hate him. Trying to hammer sympathy at us is just gonna make him less sympathetic.

“We shouldn’t be developing the budding relationship-”

It wasn’t.

That wasn’t a fucking romantic scene, it was an emotional breakdown after a stressful 

“By making Adam an understandable character-”

This is perhaps the most insulting part.

Adam IS understandable. Just because you don’t sympathize with him doesn’t mean you can’t see how he became this way. He was enslaved at a young age, branded in a way that robbed him of so much, he tried to make things better but because of forces outside of his control and his own issues, he lost his way and became what made him: someone cruel and uncaring of others. And yet, even as he does terrible things, we can still see that even he is a victim of the world, lamenting his fall and who he could have been.

That is something that fits the tone of RWBY so much better than a generic freedom fighter turned crazy person. Not to mention all the brilliant details you scrapped for shallow and boring details that any run of the mill show could do.

You improved NOTHING here. You just turned Adam from an interesting deconstruction and a cautionary tale of what we can become to every revolutionary in western media which, considering America’s origins, are a dime a dozen.

I’ll say it again: This is why I hate rewrites. You didn’t put nearly as much thought and effort into the show as the creators did and yet you stand on their work, rot it from the inside and try pedaling a worse version because it fits some people’s delusions.

Every time I look into you Twiinks, you become worse. How far will YOU fall?

[theskyexists]

The Timeless Children

I hated everything about this.

Like - EVERYTHING.

1. The companions had nothing to do with the Doctor the whole episode and contributed literally nothing to her story - they didn't even SAVE HER BECAUSE SHE SAVED HERSELF. They somehow find her in the centre of the ruins after they have a ‘touching’ moment about willing to risk their lives to save her - but they come into the room JUST after it’s become completely irrelevant - it was like a fucking PARODY.  They never even learned what the fuck was up with her. Yaz gets nothing in return for her classic faith in the Doctor - this is worse than fucking Martha. And still no hugs - loveless. COMPLETELY LOVELESS.

2. There was zero suspense. Zero. Who CARES about the mystery of the Timeless Child and their society if the Time Lords are fucking dead. Who CARES about the companions being in danger when they’re in a completely separate plot - like - COMPLETELY. I thought the Doctor trying to bargain her life for theirs was a juicy line - too bad it meant NOTHING - had NO impact whatsoever. Half of this episode was pure exposition dump?

3. Why was this the Master show? - he just talked for 30 minutes (I think it might genuinely have been 30 ACTUAL minutes) while the Doctor said NOTHING - even Sasha Dhawan can’t carry that off???? I can’t believe that Chibs had me get bored of Sasha’s performance???? HOW. It was so repetitive - truth truth truth. I’m so weepy - I’m so mad - I’m so clever. Oh I’ve broken you - yep I’ve broken you. Why is there even the fuckin assumption?? I could not parse why this would be SO devastating to anyone that Chibs would hang the whole plot and emotional arc on this. Literally immobilising the Doctor and making her mute K.O.’d their INCREDIBLE chemistry. JEzus Christ.

4. This episode went: weapons are good though. Use bombs and guns!

5. ‘You can’t pretend to be cybermen for ANY amount of time’ - yet somehow they manage to masquerade as cybermen to such an extent that they can join a platoon, teleport down, shoot at people, and kill the cybermen remaining. Well why didn’t anyone else think of this???

6. Reduced cybermen down to - armour that you can fuckin PUT ON?????

7. NO attempt at body horror was made even when there was the opportunity. Human remains? we see nothing of the Cybermen’s previous humanity and their nature as victims. No threat of conversion for any of the companions. This was possibly the least scary chib episode yet and that says something.

8. If Ryan had lobbed a bomb at Yaz and Graham they would have been DEAD.

9. Why kill that girl when she should know that Cybermen don’t even falter at gunfire so how can she provide ‘cover’ lol

10. Needless explanation and repetition resulting in ZERO suspense.  The Master explaining that he sent the Doctor those visions - useless minutiae. The Doctor retreading everything the Master has just told the audience - making her seem dumb and making me FEEL like he thinks I’m fuckin dumb.

11. Completely anticlimactic end for the Lone Cyberman.

12. The Doctor did not start out a rebel - did not start out looking at the stars going: ah....I want to go there. They interfered because they had been primed for it by years of working for the ‘Division’ - they weren’t a rebel who wanted to see more and then realised they could actually do good - in defiance of the conservative society they were part of. No. They’d been the Doctor even before Ian called One that. Well that cool and wonderful theory of being Named and taught by humans can go out the window.

13. First, the particle would destroy all life in the universe. Then - suddenly - as though they rewrote the script while they were filming - it would only destroy all life on the planet. Right.

14. Why even MENTION that nobody can enter the TARDIS in this very series if you end it on the fucking JUDOON!!!! JUDOON!!!! teleporting in.

15. It was repeatedly said that the Cybermen can ‘read’ human lifesigns but not uhhhhhh when it’s inconvenient I guess.

16. Is Tec-Teun Rassilon? Because I didn’t get the sense that the Time Lords’ rise to power on the back of their seemingly harmless genetic splicing was presented as a bad thing per se. So what the fuck is the issue. The Master was just mad that the Doctor was essential to the creation of his being. Ok. I guess there was no moral argument behind it or anything. They didn’t deserve to get wiped out - it really was just a lunatic who somehow gained the power to destroy one of the greatest civilisations ever (which is certainly also never explained).

17. Still no idea where Missy and her character development fits in this. Apparently this Gallifrey destruction wasn’t because of anything clever like that the Master learned from the Doctor and obliterated the Time Lords for being quite particularly evil by their new rules - no he just...... killed them because his ego got hurt? right.

18. Somehow not a single cyberman notices them disassembling 5 cybermen making a lots of noise - not even the fucking CYBERIUM - the hub of all strategic fuckin cyberknowledge or whatever - apparently they haven’t thought of sensors and AI interfaces being able to use them when plugged into a damn ship yet in the far future. Nobody notices them boarding, planting bombs, running away. None of the Cybermen can shoot straight. What a fuckin threat.

19. The Doctor really just needed a goddamn peptalk from her way more Doctor-ish past self to blow the Matrix out? That sequence was pretty fucking shit-looking. And then the emotional resolution is that she’s totally ok with being more than she remembers? Oh ok. ‘You’re afraid - not me!’ OK?? Why? Why? Would the Master have expected the Doctor to respond like it’s some awful truth. Ok the founders lied bc the Time Kid got out of control but then they lost track of them again? I mean yikes they suck. Isn’t the goddamn emotional punch really that their people are dead - again?? Dead??? forever??? what about its children??? what about the horror and the guilt and - does none of that matter any more? Guess we have another Dimension to travel to to see where the Doctor actually came from. Old conflictual but significant relationship with ‘home’ ended- mysterious dimension is the Doctor’s home now.

20. The end implies that the Doctor wasn’t hesitating to kill the Master, the last remains of the Time Lords and every single living thing on her home planet - she was just hesitating to kill herself. I said Chibnall had no moral intelligence but - he truly does not understand the Doctor in any way!? I cannot express how much I despise this. This was worse than mediocre it was fucking CRIMINAL. And it wasn’t even a triumph - it wasn’t even a defeat of the fuckin Master either (and who even CARES about Ko Sharmus????).

I lied I liked four things:

1. Graham and Yaz having their heart to heart.

2. Ginger-haired Brandon being the Doctor. That was a great visual parallel.

3. The overall backstory to the start of the Time Lords was like - fine. I prefer mythological backstories to be nebulous. But alright. Put the focus on the ability to regenerate instead of time travelling - ok, that makes sense - sure - whatever. All the diversity was pretty beautiful too.

4. At least the Master got choked this time (jfc chibnall - can you write NO other shorthand for the willingness to use deadly force???)

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 14x17

SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!

Sooooooooooooooooo. Admittedly I wasn’t looking forward that much to this episode, because both Donatello and Nick (and his Lucifer obsession) are characters/storylines I’m not that interested in. However it seems like Jack will be the character all storylines will evolve around now, and that has me sucked in. I’m concerned about Mary and her fate and I hope that Supernatural has learned from their past and doesn’t sacrifice a beloved character in order to create man-pain.

But, as always, let’s have a closer look.

Lady in Red

(Random observation: loved Danneel’s look). In this week’s subplot we have Cas enlisting Anael to help him find God, in order to restore Jack’s soul. Anael is yet another angel who has become disillusioned with God and his creation. She can’t understand how God has created earth and humanity, his so called perfect people, but allows hatred and pain, because he doesn’t meddle. We do know that God at times does meddle (Cas specifically mentions his resurrections) but that of course in creating humans he also gave them free will. And that’s kind of the point (and in many ways what this show is about: we are our choices). Mary reminds Sam that what Nick did is not his fault, because they were Nick’s choices. There will always be evil in the world because there will always be people who make that choice. But there will also be goodness; Sam’s choice to give Nick a second chance was an act of kindness. As Mary said it shows the kind of man he is: a good man.

Anael, like many other angels, can’t grasp the concept of free will. She uses her powers to meddle, to make a difference. On the surface it looks like she does it for money, but as she told Cas, if you think that is the only reason you haven’t paid attention.

I feel a lot of Cas and Anael’s interactions were there to contrast the two characters and to show once again how different Cas is from all the other angels, how human he has become (it is a pattern and knowing the show will come to an end it feels like he has to make a choice eventually). In the waffle house we saw him ordering food, whereas Anael denied even a cup of coffee. Anael says that they are all alone, but Cas disagrees. Anael has lost her faith in heaven, in her angelic family, in God. Cas says it doesn’t matter if God cares about them or not because they still have each other; Cas has found a new family. And Anael of course was right in her assumption that Cas is currently hiding from Sam and Dean, that he is afraid to tell them the truth. His priorities are with his family and no longer with his mission.

The other repeated theme is of course God himself and how often he had been mentioned this season, especially calling out his absence and that he doesn’t seem to care. We heard that before from Michael, who because of God’s absence took it upon himself to become the new God. God of course is also always seen as a parallel to John (the way Michael and Lucifer work as a parallel for Dean and Sam). God isn’t the only absent father. However John did return this season and it gave his sons a chance for closure, to make their peace with how he raised them, and to reflect on their own lives and realize that they no longer need their father, that they no longer have to carry around the ghost of John. Cas saying that it doesn’t matter if God is around is similar to that. It is possible he will make another appearance after he has been mentioned that much, and because he might be the only one powerful enough to either save or stop Jack. Emotionally it might lead to another sort of closure, both for the Winchesters and the angels.  

We need to talk about Jack

First of all, the main discourse after this episode, and my opinion about it: PINEAPPLE DOES NOT BELONG ON PIZZA. DEAN IS RIGHT, IT IS AN ABOMINATION.

That being said I loved the five seconds of domestic Winchesters we got this week (why do you have to be so cruel show). Dean playing Mouse Trap is of course a foretelling of Nick and his complicated trap to get what he wants: Lucifer. I honestly don’t care about Donatello as a character (sorry dude), but it pained me to realize that Nick was right about something: the Winchesters don’t have many friends left he can use as bait. Of course there was a very specific reason why Nick needed Donatello: as a prophet he could use him to communicate to Lucifer. I wonder though if you can simply inject angel grace to a human? We know that not every human is capable to contain an angel, but it was just a little grace. It might have also something to do with Donatello’s special status as prophet or the fact that he is soulless that his body seemed unaffected by the grace.

The whole Nick storyline was… well I’m glad it is over. Nick has gone to a point where he identified himself so much with Lucifer that he feels incomplete without him, that he even referred to Jack as his own son. Of course he needed Jack for a very specific reason, or rather his blood. This might be the reason why Lucifer could come back: because a part of him is still tied to this world. Jack is his blood. Which is quite similar to how ghosts are created in the world of Supernatural: they can only stay because something of them still ties them to our world (their body, a certain possession etc). It also seemed to me that Nick was especially interested in Sam and that he was jealous of Sam’s status as the perfect vessel for Lucifer. I’m not sure if Nick’s speech to Dean, how being a vessel for an archangel changes you, was just there to provoke Dean or if we will see some change in Dean after all. So far he seems to be his old self again.

So let’s talk about Jack. We start the episode with Mary expressing her concern and Jack being annoyed by it, before he puts on a face to reassure Mary that he is alright. Mary of course knows Jack well enough to see right through it (in the time they spent together in the Apocalypse-World he became another son to her, perhaps more than Sam and Dean, because he still needs a mother to guide him). We see how utterly terrified Jack is by the thought that he might no longer has a soul. He wants to be ok, he wants to be all right, he doesn’t want to worry his family. Part of Jack’s behaviour read to me as a metaphor for depression. The absence of his soul, the emptiness he feels because of it, how he wants to be right again, how he doesn’t want to hurt his family but at the same is annoyed by their concern for him.

Jack repeatedly asks Mary for moral guidance. He asks for her permission to use his powers in order to find Nick. He needs her to tell him that it was okay that he killed Nick, and when she doesn’t he becomes upset, and is afraid she tells Sam and Dean about it and what their reaction might be. @mittensmorgul already pointed out that Jack misinterprets “Something is wrong” into “You are wrong”. Jack wants to be right, he wants to make the right choices, but he can no longer tell what is right and what is wrong (which brings us back to ‘we are our choices’). If they set up Jack as a villain (and I’m not 100% sold on that) it would make an interesting difference because for once we would have a bad guy who desperately doesn’t want to be a bad guy. And it might come back to Sam (and Dean), to good man, who give second chances, who try to save him instead of killing him.

At last I want to talk about Mary and potential death. I’m not saying she is but it is a possibility. We saw her giving two speeches to her sons, that should ring any alarm bell because they looked like goodbyes. She told Dean that is grateful for the time she spent together with her sons (after apologizing for being closed off and hard, which reminded me why I love her so much as a character: she is not the traditional mother, but rather a complicated complex female character). She tells Sam that he is a good man and proud of him. It is possible that they will kill of Mary (again), that they will use her death as the point of no return for Jack and to show us how much of a danger he is, that he is perhaps past saving.

However I really hope that won’t be the direction where they go. I love Mary as a character, I love that they brought back the original fridged character and that is why her death would be so problematic for me. Killing off a beloved character to get the plot in a certain direction is something Supernatural has done so many times and it never works and I sincerely hope they have learned from their mistakes. And surprisingly it is Nick who gives me hope here. Because after all nobody stays dead anymore.

Until next week <3

[fortunatelylori]

A lot of people thought Arya was acting OOC in s7. To me it was more of the same. They've always used Arya to force sides between her and Sansa. And it's very black and white. Arya always sees the worst in Sansa. Or what she thinks is the worst. It just looks worse when they are basically adults and she's acting like a petulant child. My hope is that they really become sisters and see the value in each other. Do you see this happening in S8?

To follow up on my ask. Arya also still holds on to some of her earlier childhood perceptions- about Jon (he can do no wrong) about Sansa (she is all about herself) and according to the clip about Dragons (in awe about stories she’s heard). Do you see this having a role in her arc in s8? A lot of her “unreliable” POV set the tone for these characters and the GAs perception. Jon’s a hero. Sansa’s a useless female. And Dany’s her destined bff because she loves dragons and is an atypical female.

Hey, nonnie!

You pose a series of very interesting but quite hard to answer questions. I say it’s hard to answer because firstly we need to take into account the differences between book Arya and show Arya, as well as the Ds inability to write positive female relationships. On top of that, there’s also the trauma that both Sansa and Arya have experienced, the issues they had as children, their very different personalities and ultimately what their story arcs are, or rather what we can theorize their endgame arcs will be. 

So the subject of Arya and Sansa’s relationship becomes hard to tackle. Particularly since we tend to pick sides, independent of where in the fandom we are placed. Arya stans will always take Arya’s side in everything, even when Arya behaves in truly terrifying ways (like threatening to cut off her sister’s face) and Sansa and Jonsa stans are somewhat reluctant to look at things from Arya’s perspective (while not excusing her behavior) and talk about how Sansa could have potentially handled things better in relation to her sister in season 7 because for one Sansa is always the one that gets the short end of the stick in the fandom when it comes to her conflicts with Arya (despite the fact that most of them are not her fault) and also because, again and I can’t stress this enough, show Arya went as far as to threaten to cut off her face. 

I think when it comes to show Arya, she’s learned to see the worst in people, period. Because the Ds were so focused in season 7 to screw with the Starks, we didn’t get to see what the fallout of Arya’s stint with the Faceless Men really was in terms of her state of mind. But that must have left some pretty deep scars because Arya went there in good faith, on the word of Jaqen H'ghar and ended up joining a death cult instead. Also the waif must have really shattered what little trust she had left. 

So by the time she reunites with Sansa, Arya is very much not in a good place emotionally. She’s just come from committing mass murder, after all. 

Talking about the Winterfell plot in season 7 is difficult because it’s such a cesspool of bad writing and unearned twists and poor character development, that trying to taking it seriously and actually analyze the characters’ decision making process within that context feels almost not worthwhile. 

However, I will say that during Sansa and Arya first meeting in the crypts, there are a few things that become clear: 

Arya is dissapointed that Jon is not there since he’s the only reason why she decided to come home. However, she isn’t cruel to Sansa, just apprehensive. Sansa for her part is excited to have Arya back home but she’s pretty awkward around her as well because she doesn’t quite know how to behave. However, once the ice is broken so to speak and they hug for the second time, it’s actually a very sweet moment between the two of them. Which is why the rest of the plot pisses me off as much as it does. 

In season 7 we get another clue that Sansa does know Arya as well as accept her for who she is, when she goes to the crypts knowing that Arya would be there. This is after talking to Brienne in season 6 and smiling at the thought of Arya not being dressed like a lady. “No, she wouldn’t be,” Sansa says. So it’s actually inaccurate to say that Sansa doesn’t value Arya for who she is.

Unfortunately the same can’t be said of Arya who from the first moment she meets Sansa in the crypts begins to be dismissive of her. She’s slightly incredulous that Jon left Sansa in charge and things only escalate from there. 

Both these girls have huge trust issues that impede them from treating each other like family. It becomes even more apparent that the only reason why Jon and Sansa’s reunion went as smoothly as it did was because of Jon’s willingness to welcome Sansa with open arms and no apprehension. 

Sansa tries to do the same with Arya but she doesn’t quite manage to go all the way.  Arya for her part is slightly emotionally cut-off even in the beginning of season 7, which is why probably people feel she was acting OOC. I’m not sure she was but rather that we are not given the proper context as to what has made Arya even more emotionally distant. I’m going to assume that the Faceless Men and the killing of the Freys had an impact on her state of mind but I would have appreciated the writers actually doing the work to present that as opposed to just filming LF smirking in dark corners every other episode. 

Then everything is, of course, derailed by Littlefinger so we never see the slow progression of Sansa and Arya’s relationship. But I will say that in order for them to have a real sibling relationship, two things need to happen in season 8: 

Arya needs to let go of her internalized misogyny and treat Sansa with respect. Not more digs at her liking to knit or enjoying pretty dresses. No more assumptions that Sansa took the Lord’s Chamber because she’s always liked “nice things”. I mean, she didn’t even know what the context of that was. She didn’t know that Jon had the Lord’s Chamber prepared for Sansa and that she didn’t take it for herself. She doesn’t know the full extent of Jon and Sansa’s relationship. And she doesn’t know any of those things because she doesn’t ask. She just jumps to conclusions. She needs to actually give Sansa the benefit of the doubt and stop attacking her at the slightest provocation. 

For Sansa’s part, she needs to lower her guard and let Arya in more. Be more vulnerable around her. She’s never going to win the stone face, tough as nails competition with Arya. She’s much better at it than Sansa. The only way she can have a relationship with Arya is if she opens up and let’s Arya get to know her better. She also needs to accept that not everyone is going to be as patient or understanding with her as Jon is. I’m not blaming Sansa for her traumas but looking from the outside, it’s actually pretty hard to deal and relate to someone who is actively trying to keep everyone at arms length and Arya simply does not have the kind of personality that can deal with that in the optimum way. 

What I’m trying to say is that Arya and Sansa’s relationship is a work in progress. And I do hope that at some point they will end up being the true sisters that they’re supposed to be. They’ve both been through a lot and they need each other. However, for that to happen they would both need to put in the work and, most importantly, the Ds would have to be capable of writing it. While I think the first can be achieved, I’m not that sure the second is since the Ds prioritize everything in this story above female relationships. 

Arya also still holds on to some of her earlier childhood perceptions- about Jon (he can do no wrong) about Sansa (she is all about herself)

I can’t really fault Arya for idealizing Jon. He was her closest sibling, her big brother, her protector and number one fan. The thought of Jon kept Arya going through some pretty horrible experiences so I don’t think she will ever care about Sansa the way she cares about Jon. When push comes to shove, she’ll always take Jon’s side over Sansa’s, unless Jon does something truly inexcusable, like let’s say give away Arya’s childhood home to a tyrant with nukes … or something like that … just an example, mind you. 

So it’s really on Jon, particularly if Jonsa happens, to try to keep these relationships separate and make sure that Sansa doesn’t feel cornered, so to speak. It’s not really fair to him to have to play referee that but that’s what faux-incest does. It inevitably complicates family relationships. lol 

according to the clip about Dragons (in awe about stories she’s heard)

Again, I’m not sure this is quite odd. Dragons ARE fascinating creatures. They’re huge, they fly, they breathe fire. It’s normal to be in awe of them at first so I don’t see anything wrong with Arya being interested in them. That doesn’t mean she’s going to continue being in awe of them once she realizes the damage they can cause. 

Dany’s her destined bff because she loves dragons and is an atypical female.

This is a fandom invention made by people that hate Sansa and Jonsa. It has nothing to do with Arya’s storyline. Arya stans simply want Arya to continue to hate Sansa because that validates their own hatred of her and D*ny stans want Arya to become D*ny’s handmaiden because she’s Jon’s favorite sister and, as such, her stamp of approval means Jon is going to continue to be D*ny’s lover. It’s insulting to Arya because she’s more than a shoulder to cry on for D*ny and it’s insulting to Jon because he’s a grown ass man who shouldn’t need his little sister to approve of the woman he wants to be in a relationship with. 

But the problem with D*ny’s fandom is that it’s essentially a black hole where every other character is sucked of life and energy in order to feed the “D*ny is a godess who deserves for everyone to worship at her feet” mindset. 

As far as Arya’s arc in season 8, I think Maisie really laid it out for people: 

Maisie Williams: “There’s this split with Arya between trying to be who she wants to be — getting back to that naiveté and innocence with her family — and her unfinished business.”

 Arya will have to grapple with who she has become, her desire for revenge, her list and trying to reconcile that with being back home with her family and trying to get back to her season 1 self. I also suspect the Faceless Men will make a come back in her storyline because that arc is not concluded and cults tend to stalk ex-members through most of their lives. I think she will be pretty involved in the White Walker war but I’m not sure what her story will be post that or how all of the elements in her plot will play out in relationship to the larger aspects of the story. 

I feel like I’ve rambled quite a bit in this answer but I hope there’s some value in what I’ve said. :)

Thanks for the ask!