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#and i hope i will get to see them live someday
fashionbugster · 2 months
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animal crossing x fashion dreamer | agnes
you reap what you sow.
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mer-se · 5 months
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I could cry
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xylocopavirginica · 4 months
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it’s so unbelievable how lightning and thunder and rain are real phenomena that actually happen on this planet. like that’s not something someone made up for a sci-fi story. bolts of electricity are shooting across the sky and huge echoing roars are shaking the land and buckets of the element that brings life are pouring down from above and it’s all real, it’s all happening right in front of me. it’s just so fucking awesome, in the most literal sense of the word
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stillfruit · 6 days
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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
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myfirstandlast · 8 months
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going through answered asks from when i was 18 wanting to hold myself so tightly
#i’ve never cared for the whole i wish i could see my younger self thing#because from where i was standing it was always still bad so thought why would i want to see them now#things are going to become very hard again very soon but last year was the best year of my entire life#i did something terrifying and then i claimed my life as my own#and a year later i have a car! and im driving! you can’t understand how impossible of a thought this was to me before#i live on my own and i’ve decorated my body and my bedroom and i can buy things i never thought id be able to own#i miss connecting with others my dash is a total wasteland now but i just#seriously cannot believe where i am right now. even though some things are still so screwed up and more screwed things are on the way#and i’m terrified of course. january is the perfect month to feel like ending it all. too much unknown#but still 2023 felt like magic i didn’t deserve and yet i basked in it#i’m not incredibly successful i’m not very interesting but im still so proud of myself somehow. even though i hate myself#it’s not as much as i used to. i appreciate myself more now and i can see how i needed me to get here. and im grateful for me#and for everything i have. i’m just speechless i can’t believe the life i currently have#i’m waiting to enter the era of travelling and intimate get together those areas are still slow coming#but if i could do this i can only hope and hope and squeeze my eyes tight to make them appear someday#i miss so many things but i don’t miss the old me. she sucked but she also cared and she’s still here in fragments#it’s strange to write this way i’ve never felt this sort of compassion before i was so so deeply depressed#it was inescapable and for good reason i don’t know how i made it through anything i’ve endured#i have to thank myself for always being too scared to die
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hhhhh why are symphony tickets so expensive >.<
#I would desperately love to see an actual performance of The Messiah this year#and—what luck!—there’s one in my town!!#exCEPT the tickets are $40 apiece. and I simply cannot justify that kind of money for that specific purchase when I am saving for college.#besides—even if I *did* decide I could just not get coffee for like the rest of the holidays and buy the ticket#I’d never be able to convince anyone else in my family to also spend that much and go with me#even tho my sister told me in earnest the other day that she’d really love to go to a performance someday#and my mom has mentioned on and off for years that she went to one once and would totally go again bc of how cool it was#also it’s doubly frustrating to me bc right smack in the middle of the orchestra’s website homepage there’s a big message#about how the orchestra can only continue to perform for the city if people continue to take an interest#and how they’re funded mostly thru ticket sales and really need people to buy tickets to keep them going#and I UNDERSTAND I’m not demanding that you give us these things for free!! art should be paid for!! I agree!!#but I simply cannot pay that *much*#it’s very disheartening bc I /want/ to support the arts I /want/ to experience beauty for myself but I CANNOT#entirely due to my efforts to be reasonable and think carefully about the future and avoid going into debt for the sake of my education#which is why I’m living at home working 45 hr weeks in retail all thru the holidays a year after I had planned to be at college#sorry I am not trying to bellyache and complain 😅🙃 simply sad and disappointed bc I was very much hoping to get to go see The Messiah#performed live in the our great big huge beautiful old Catholic Church downtown 🙃#mobile#gurt says stuff
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narcan-necromancer · 1 year
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1980ssunflower · 2 years
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I wonder what songs my Ryan and Min have written about / for me 🥺💖💙
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ziracona · 2 years
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People on tumblr will complain about games having heavy handed ethics and black and white narratives with practically unexecutable ideologies, then throw the biggest hissy fit of all time at any games where doing the good guy thing and saving attacked minorities or causes has casualties and makes you kill people in order to enact any large scale real lasting change.
#I will see users be like ‘superhero movies have the worst ethical takes since Kant. just kill him’ and then lose their mind the game about#what it’s like to be a minority oppressed by the govt didn’t have stand-in white allies in it or that to free slaves they have to kill the#slavers and some people not directly wielding the guns but benefiting from and living happily within the power structure will be casualties#like guys you’re not supposed to be happy about it but that’s how life fucking works. none of you could be Clementine every one of you is#James. ‘I would love not to have to fight and kill but that’s not how life fucking works! it takes more than words!’#thinking again about some of the most wildly bullshit complaints I’ve ever seen video games get rofl#y’all will bend over backward to excuse the most bigoted fucks and serial killers of all time but the second a minority shoots someone to#save their life or someone else’s they’re satan himself like girl it ain’t even bad they did it you’re just a wuss with horrible ethics &#also part of the problem. you can’t change things by hoping bad people decide to change or asking them.#and if you’re not willing to hurt someone horrific to protect the perosn they’re trying to kill because the slight chance someday they might#decide to improve is more valuable than the life of the person they’re killing or their right to happiness and survival? you fucking suck#and that’s literally just that. get priorities that aren’t evil
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lavendermanna · 8 months
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just listened to iris by justice and while it is in fact a sick remix/mashup album, and i do love justice, i gotta say. this is not a space opera guys. this is for sure just a sick lightshow with a few space themed music videos interspersed throughout. like i guess this album could, theoretically, serve as the soundtrack to a space opera that had like. other stuff going on in it, you know? but this aint an opera. weird titling convention imo.
ive been a huge fan of † for a long time but lately ive been listening to Audio, Video, Disco a lot more as well, and i've even been getting into their third album Woman for the first time as well. I'm truly entering my justice era just as they're announcing a new album, so perfect timing i guess?
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lacunasbalustrade · 9 months
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#the problem is i have lots to write but i never feel like im writing what i should be writing#Like. im excited about all my projects and i love them! i genuinely do love the fics and the personals and the game building i am very#excited at all times#HOWEVER#i still feel like i can never dig out everything inside of me#if that makes sense#im like a mole and i just keep finding more and more treasure and i want to get it all out into broad daylight where i can appreciate it but#however deep i go it's just not enough. There's still more. and i hope that one day just - one day I'll run out of things to say and i can#just live - i used to sanction myself from saying just but now i want to know why so I'm leaving it#i hope to just live someday. i never want to keep talking. but there's just so much to say and i need to get all of it out. sometimes i#dream that there must - there must be some special story inside me and if only i find out what it's about perhaps I'll be able to remove all#that's buried within me. i think that if i can find it maybe i can finish writing and the thought delights me i want nothing more than to#stop saying things.#i want to finish writing. i want to live now - but i can't. no matter how much i write#always some kind of subject that i haven't finished having thoughts about and i want so badly to finish myself so i can see all of me laid#out on paper and pull out the bad bits and fix myself mentally - rigorously - completely#i think that if i write that thing which has consumed all the words within me perhaps I'll finally be free.
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timetohealit · 10 months
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people of tumblr. i have made my stunning return.
#WHATS UP YALL?#I hope everyone is doing good and living their best life#so after what has felt like a decade I am finally officially graduating from my teaching program and inshallah becoming a teacher#I just finished my final year of internship and it was soooo sad#its crazy you don’t think your students like you or care about you and then.. you say goodbye and you realize.. like shit#seeing them upset and shocked and asking if I’ll come back man its the best and worst feeling :((#and my teachers wishing me luck and getting me gifts and telling me that I was BORN to do this#and like these were teachers who were my biggest critics#im nervous for my first year but for once I feel ready. and ive waited three years to finally feel like this#im also just really sad that I’ll be saying goodbye to my friends who have been with me in this program for five years#like we went through some of the best and worst times together and our group has become so tight#theres one guy I’ll miss a lot cause hes just someone who has been there for me and has always understood me#like we lived in the same dorm building together and didn’t know it#we were in the same classes together and never spoke to each other#and then we ended up interviewing together#and then we student taught together#and then we were constantly partnered and cried our frustrations together#and we would always have these conversations where we just saw into each other’s souls#like I remember during student teaching we just talked about how we realized that there was so much it took to engage the class#than what we were led to believe and that somedays class just couldn’t be super fun and engaging because of factors out of our control#and it was crazy we had that epiphany at the same time#and when we were out looking for jobs we just felt the exact same way about the search too#feeling overwhelmed and like we needed to push this off and then also feeling#like we’re not good enough and that it would be easier#EVERYTHING LITERALLY EVERYTHING!#my favorite personnnn ugh
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chaotic-mystery · 1 month
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PROFESSOR’S PET
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Pairing: Art Professor!Joel AU x Teacher Assistant!f!reader.
Summary: Professor Miller wants you to teach the class tomorrow morning & you need help being less nervous. What if he’s the reason you’re nervous, though?
Content Warnings: SMUT 18+ only! MDNI. Age gap but not specified, power imbalance (professor x TA, reader stutters when nervous, academic weapon, teasing, fingering, one (1) pair of panties ripped to shreds, oral (f receiving), spitting, pussy slaps, praise kink, name calling (good girl, sweetheart, baby, smart girl), dirty talk, talking you through it, spanking, condescending a little bit, cum eating, face riding, nasty freaky kisses to share your cum, no use of y/n.
Authors Note: Good morning, babies! This is for @studioghibelli & their fantastic writing challenge. This moodboard was absolutely brilliant. As someone who did not go to college & can’t retain information well, I tried to research as much as I could about art so I hope I did it justice! 🩵 || wc: 2.6k || beta’d by @wannab-urs <333 ily sm gin ||
“You want me to do what?”
It came out more as an exclamation rather than a question but you didn’t care at the moment.
He couldn’t have been serious.
“I want you to teach the class tomorrow about your two favorite artists. That’s all I’m askin’” Professor Miller says, stuffing his papers back into the desk drawer for the night.
“B-but you know I don’t talk well in front of them, I constantly stutter and they don’t respond well to me yet, I-”
“Do you need me to help you with the lesson plan for tomorrow? I can come over and help you write down some notes on what you want to talk about, but I need you to get more comfortable around them. We have a long school year ahead of us, and it’s not going to work if you’re afraid to speak up here.”
He was annoyed having to explain his reasoning, but he was right. Even if you didn’t want to hear you were doing a terrible job as a teacher's assistant. Scratching your head and turning so he can’t see the look of shame on your face, Joel shuffles towards you and hands you your coat off the coat rack.
“It’ll be fine. All you need is a push and you’ll do great. Hurry before we miss the train.”
You nod and take your coat to put it on, the tan fabric becoming darker as you step outside and rain starts to pelt off it. Mr. Miller sighs and hoists his briefcase above his head and takes his other hand to the side of him searching for yours until he finds it and grabs it, guiding you through the raindrops until you get under the stone archway to take a brief moment for the rain to calm down.
“Can’t believe I’ve had you as a TA for almost two years now and have never once seen where you live or even know about you outside of this place.” His finger wags slowly behind his head, indicating he was referring to the school.
“I don’t really like to talk about myself, but my parents made a really good name for themselves. I was put through all the good schools they could toss their money at. I was supposed to go to school to be a lawyer, but I wasn’t interested in the slightest. I told my mom I wanted to study visual arts and she wasn’t too surprised, said I always had an eye for that sort of thing. I want to become a professor here one day but for now I just want to learn everything I can, ya know?” You smile at the ground as you think about teaching here someday and hope it doesn’t come off as dorky.
He’s so much older than you and probably knows so much between art and life. You could only hope to have as much knowledge as him when you become a professor.
“I think that’s amazing honestly. I hope to one day see you as a professor here whenever you feel like you’re ready.”
His grin eases your nerves, and you hear the train coming, taking his hand once more to run to the train stop. Your shoes squeak against the vinyl flooring of the moving cabin until you get to a seat by the foggy window, plopping your bag right next to you with Joel sitting across the small white table that was tattered from all the use.
The train ride to your town wasn’t too long and Joel read almost the entire time, asking you every now and then if you were okay. Once you catch a taxi to take you home, it drops you off right at the black iron gates. He steps out of the sleek black car and is a little taken aback by the size of your house.
“What’s the matter? I told you they had money.” You giggle and push the buzzer on the stone post to the left of you, telling them to let you inside. Almost instantly, the gates push open and you walk along the pebble drive, flinging your book bag over your shoulder as he follows a few steps behind you, taking in the beauty that is your house.
Once you get inside and introduce him to the small group of staff working, they tell you your parents went out for the evening to some charity event and there’s food in the fridge if you were hungry.
The nerves about teaching tomorrow overrode the feeling of being hungry, but you still offered Joel anything he could’ve wanted. He settles with water, and you leave him in the study where he’s content with gazing at the walls covered in full bookshelves about any and everything.
You come back in and shut the rosewood pocket doors quietly, careful not to disturb him from the current book in his hand about astronomy. The way his fingers grazed over the corners of the pages made your stomach tingle just a little bit, the dim lighting from the chandelier glowing a soft yellow on his face as he was entranced by the contents.
Get it together, he’s off limits, you tell yourself.
There was no ring on his finger and he always talked about his lonely weekends, but still. You were his teacher's assistant.
You clear your throat and set his water down on the desk before you turn on the green bankers lamp sitting at the edge of the table. Joel closes the red leather book and looks up at you, noticing the water, and he puts the book back where he found it.
“Thank you.” He raises the glass to you before taking a sip, the muscles in his neck contracting as he swallows, and it brings that same feeling as before that you felt in your stomach.
So, give me two of your favorite art pieces and the artist with some facts about them. You don’t have to start from their birth or anything.”
He pinches his slacks right on the thighs to hike them up just a little before he sits down in the wooden chair at the head of the table, his hands on the back of his head as his fingers interlock against his skull.
Focus.
You pace back and forth at the other end of the table, Joel’s eyes on you intently as you fiddle with your fingers, running through the list of artists you tend to gravitate towards.
“I got it. Botticelli.”
“Nice choice. Why him?”
You continue to walk back and forth and sort out which facts about him and his artwork you love to tell people they wouldn’t normally know.
“I love the painting Birth of Venus but um- it’s not technically her birth story, it’s m-more like the story continued after her birth; when she steps off her shell and onto the island of Cyprus. S-she’s being blown onto…” you take a deep breath in and put your head in your hands.
“I’m sorry, Joel.”
You turn away from him and look out the window trying to compose yourself.
“Just take your time, I’ve got all night, kid.”
Turning to face him, he’s sitting straight up now and you can tell he’s listening to every word coming out of your mouth. His dark jacket is tight on his arms and it’s just enough to show the outline of his muscles.
“She’s being blown onto shore by the spring winds which is Zephyr, who is accompanied by his wife, Chloris, who’s also blowing Venus’ shell to shore. Her pose was most likely inspired by an ancient marble statue in the Medici’s collection, which we refer to as the Medici Venus, the first ever nude female sculpture in classical art.”
You manage to recite all of that without stuttering this time and he grins proudly.
“I knew you could do it. Good job. Now, what I want you to do is write down bullet points on this note card with a keyword that’ll spark your mind and draw the facts out of you fluently.”
Your cheeks warm at first and then your brows furrow at his instructions.
“What do you mean, professor?”
“Come here, I’ll show you.”
He scoots his chair back enough so you can stand to the side of him and watch as he scribbles down some words on the lined piece of paper. The red ink flows effortlessly and he pushes it to you, pointing at what he did.
“It’s just a keyword that’ll spark your brain to talk about it. If you write down everything you’re gonna say, it sounds like a robot trying to read it. This way, you won’t get overwhelmed by everything you wanna say and you can sound effortless.”
You nod as the gears in your head turn, the idea making perfect sense now. Reaching out to grab another note card, you bend over to write on it, starting at the top. You feel Joel’s hand on the small of your back very lightly as he watches you write, the pen in your hand moving faster than he’s ever seen.
“The next one is gonna be the technique he used for the painting.”
You write the word ‘technique’ shakily, trying to breathe manually.
“What about his technique?” Joel asks, his hand not moving from your back.
“H-he um, he used the tempera technique, it’s when you d-dilute a raw egg with water and mix watered down p-pigment with it and um-um paint with it.” Your words get breathy and all at once you stand straight up, clearing your throat once more.
“You’re still pretty nervous. Is it me? Am I making you nervous?” The condescending tone in Professor Miller's voice makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, feeling like you’ve been called out.
“Partially, maybe.” You admit and turn away from him but you don’t move from next to him.
He runs his hand over his scruff and smirks slyly.
“Do you trust me?”
Without hesitation you nod yes.
“Turn around for me.” Joel’s hands grip your hips and spin you around in your spot.
“Now read your little note card for me. Come on, you’ve got this, smart girl.”
That was all you had to hear to make your stomach flip and arousal flood your body. Smart girl.
His hands never leave your hips as he holds you still, subconsciously rubbing the fabric of your skirt on the waistband while you read your notes. You manage to get through half of them before you stutter out and stop again.
“Again, from the top.” He says softly, still holding onto you. Just as you begin to speak, you feel yourself being guided backwards and you don’t stop talking, going with the flow of things.
For the purpose of learning, right?
Joel puts you right against his thighs, his head peeking over the side of your arm to see what bullet point you were on.
“Keep going, you’re doing such a good job.” He whispers as he rubs your back gently.
“Botticelli used the tempera technique, which is when you mix a r-raw egg with water a-and you dilute yo-our pigment with water and mix th-em together.”
His hand ever so slowly moves around the side of your thigh until he’s on the top of it, his thumb dangerously close to the point of no return. Your breaths were getting heavier and you were almost positive he could feel your heart rattling in your body like a caged animal.
“Joel, I-”
“Start it again, and if you stutter I’ll stop.”
His hand dips under your skirt and he nods to your index card, wanting you to restart.
“Well come on, be a good girl for me.” He grunts out and smirks before biting your arm playfully.
You didn’t know how you got here or why he wanted to touch you this way but you weren’t going to stop him. He was a good looking man and god forbid you do something out of your normal routine.
His fingertips dance over your overly excited clit and release some tension for you, and it’s like a key to a gate, your legs spreading more and more with every circle from his middle finger. You continue to talk through his efforts to make you stutter, even when he gets faster and kisses your back.
“Just like that, sweetheart. Next artist, let’s go.” He pushes you up on the desk and splits your legs apart, ripping your panties in two before he takes off his jacket and rolls his shirt sleeves up to his elbows.
“The Swing painted by Jean-Honore Fragonard. It’s said it’s a commission from a man on the court who requested Fragonard to paint him and his younger mistress being pushed on a swing while he watches and admires her-oh my god, Joel, right there, yes, yes.”
His tongue dances against your clit after he spits on it, licking every inch of you just to hear your pretty moans. His hands travel up your abdomen until he gets to your shirt, ripping the buttons apart to see your beautiful breasts. A deep groan against your overly sensitive clit makes your eyes almost roll back into your skull and he slaps your pussy firmly.
“That’s not being a good girl. Did I tell you to stop?”
“No, sir.” You whimper and try to get back on track about the painting you were talking about. His curls tickle against the soft insides of your thighs as he continues, licking feverishly at your clit.
“The brushwork is rapid and it exemplifies the Rococo style of playfulness and elegance” you whimper out and buck against his face, your hand dipping into his hair to tug firmly.
He spanks your ass as he feels your body squirm under him, tugging your legs to rest on his shoulders as he continues to lap up your arousal.
“You’re such a filthy girl, riding your professor's face in your house, naughty naughty girl. Oh, yes, cmon sweetheart, use my mouth.”
You moan his name louder and thank god your sounds are muffled from the rest of the house by all the literature covering the walls. Somehow you finish telling him about the painting and he looks at you as you cry out for more from him, your slick glossing over his mustache.
“Please make me come, Joel. Please, I need you so bad.” You kiss him roughly and try to grab his rock hard bulge but he pulls his hips away and groans loudly on your lips before grinning, going back down to your pussy and moaning against you.
“Come right on my face, right fuckin’ now. Let me taste how sweet you are. I know you can’t handle much more and you don’t wanna disappoint me, right baby?” Joel smirks and flattens his tongue against your clit once more, teasing you and enjoying this just as much as you were.
The burning sensation in your belly starts to spill over and before you can tell him, you grip both edges of the table and come against his face, crying and squirming to get away from him but it only makes Joel pin you down by your wrists and lick harder, tasting every bit you give him.
He licks you clean and kisses his way up your stomach, through the valley of your breasts to your lips, sharing the deliciousness with you. As you come down from your high, the grandfather clock in the corner of the room starts to chime, indicating it was midnight.
“That 7:30 A.M. class is gonna be here before you know it, professor.” You push the damp curls off his forehead and giggle as he stands up tiredly, holding a hand out for you. As you sit up on the table, his hand cups your cheek and kisses you deeply once more.
“You owe me sleep, so much sleep.”
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ohisms · 3 months
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↪ 𝑽𝑨𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮 . ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2004 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . mature themes present . )
oh , [ name ] . it's just you .
where are you going to run , [ name ] ?
what are you saying ?
why do you think i brought you here ?
you said you believed in my work .
i would kill myself before helping in such a task .
you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .
you can't kill me , [ name ] .
so , you're the great [ name ] .
we all have our little problems .
let's make it your decision , shall we ?
i wish you a week in hell .
why don't you do something about it ?
this is all a test of faith .
i can curse all i want , dammit .
you . turn around .
strangers don't last long here .
the laws of men mean little to me .
i don't need your help .
you stay here . they're trying to kill me .
nice to see you too , [ name ] .
did i do something to you in a past life ?
i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .
your reputation precedes you .
i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .
please , say you will not try again .
do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .
i was unprepared . it won't happen again .
do you understand forgiveness ?
i would rather die than help you .
don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .
may he rest in peace .
how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?
you don't remember , do you ?
what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?
it's no surprise you would know all about me .
we have such history , you and i .
have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?
[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .
what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?
no one knows how to kill [ name ] .
i could have used that information earlier .
would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?
allow me to ... reintroduce myself .
i think we've overstayed our welcome .
don't give me that look .
you were right . i'm sorry .
monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !
look , there's still time .
you were right . i'm sorry .
do you have any family , [ name ] ?
if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .
evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .
now you know why they call me a murderer .
oh my god ... you've been bitten .
so much trouble ... so much trouble .
now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .
don't worry , god will forgive us .
how many commandments can we break in one day ?
oh my god , you should be terrified .
how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?
neither of us has ever settled for half .
you make my skin crawl .
i'm not gonna like this , am i ?
one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .
you have no heartbeat .
you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .
well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .
we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .
you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .
god is not the only one that can create life .
you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !
you're supposed to die .
we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .
you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .
if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .
all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .
some things are better left forgotten .
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Hi I was wondering if you could do a fic with Jacaerys x sister! Reader where they are at a gala/feast and ppl keep flirting with reader so Jave gets jealous and stuff. So when they go to their room at the end of the feast Jace makes her ride his face and makes sure she’s loud enough for everyone to hear that she’s his.
warnings: typical canon incest, jace x sister!reader (father is not specified), no dance of the dragons au, 18+ minors DNI, jace hates aemond in every universe, everyone lives au!!!, jace eating u out like a man starved, nyra and daemon giving kris jenner vibes???, cursing, the targtowers and targaryens are besties (kind of)
For your younger brother Lucerys’s name day of ten and five, your family decided it would be best to throw a feast for him.
He was becoming older and would soon inherit Driftmark, he needed a celebration to show that he is becoming a man and no longer a mere child.
Since your mother became Queen and your older half-brother became her heir, many people were interested in the lives of the royal family, so Luke’s name day was flooded with people from all over Westeros.
You were all dolled up in a fancy gown, you hair was braided so elegantly and intricately, and you moved with such grace that most eyes were on you throughout the night.
Luke joked to Jace that you may be able to find a lord husband tonight, but at his suggestion, Jace tensed up and his face hardened.
You sat with your family at the elevated table, you mother was in the middle, Daemon next to her, his daughters on his side of the table, you sat between Jace and your mother, and then sat Luke, Joffrey, Viserys, and Aegon.
You watched in awe at the celebration, only imagining how grand a wedding could be.
People danced, wore lavish clothing, gorged themselves in the food, and occasionally approached the table to offer up gifts to your brother for his name day.
It was about halfway through the night when highborn men started to approach you, which was uncommon up until recent.
Every since you had turned ten and eight, and became more developed in certain places, you were consistently approached for your hand.
Lord Oscar Tully was the first to approach your table, you smiled gently at him, knowing his new situation.
“Hello, Princess. You look lovely tonight.”
You felt heat rush to your cheeks, a dark color dusting your cheeks, he was quite the charmer, and not bad looking either, “Thank you, Lord Tully. I heard about your grandsire, I offer my deepest condolences.”
He nods solemnly, “Thank you, Princess. I may have lost my grandsire, but I have gained a deep power and a great kingdom… one I hope you will consider in your future.”
You smiled gently, “I heard the Riverlands are beautiful, I would most definitely love to see them someday. Is there something I can do for you?”
“I just wanted to come and offer you some company, if you’ll have me?”
You looked to your mother who smiled at you, knowingly. You looked back to the young lord and nodded, “I’d love to.”
You came around the table, taking his arm in yours as he led you to the floor to dance.
Jace’s gaze hardened and he downed his cup of wine, slamming it down on the table harsher than intended. Luke and Joffrey giggled at him, Viserys and Aegon following their older brothers’ actions.
Luke leaned over to his brother, “Careful, your face might get stuck like that.”
“Shut up, Luke.”
“I’m just saying…”
“He’s not good enough for her—”
“You say that about every man and I could hardly agree with you, most of the Riverlands looks to House Tully for direction and leadership; she would be in a great position there as their lady.”
“Do you want me to leave the table and kill myself?”
“All I am saying is that maybe you should focus on yourself instead of our sister… you need to wed as well, create heirs for the Seven Kingdoms.”
Jace rolled his eyes, “You sound like Mother.”
Rhaenyra whipped her head to her sons, “I think he is right, Jace.”
“Of course you do.”
“You are too invested in something that does not concern you Jacaerys. Perhaps you need to start looking for your own Lady Wife.”
“I do not wish to wed.”
“I hate to tell you, but your wishes do not matter to the Seven Kingdoms.”
Jace sighed, moving his gaze back to you and Lord Tully. You smiled as the two of you danced. Jace’s jealously only grew as he watched.
Oscar Tully was not good enough for you, no one is good enough for you… except Jace himself.
As the song ended, a new one started. Luke left the table with Rhaena, Joffrey and the twins were led to their chambers to be put to bed, your mother was in an intent conversation with Corlys and Rhaenys, and you had just been approached by Gwyane Hightower.
From the look on Gwyane’s face, Jace knew Gwyane was being smug with you, he scoffed, thinking that you would never be charmed by him, but when he saw you smiling, standing too close for comfort to him, he almost puked his supper all over the floor.
You danced and flirted with Gwyane Hightower for a bit of the night, making Jace more and more jealous.
As you finished with Gwyane, you returned to your seat, a big smile on your face.
“Enjoy your dance?” Jace asked, venom lacing his tongue.
“I did, as a matter of fact, Gwyane is… such a lovely knight. He’s a knight… did you know?”
Before Jace could respond, you were hugged lightly from behind by Helaena. She kissed you gently on the cheek, “Quite the collection of suitors you have assembled tonight.”
You giggled lightly, “I know! Quite fun, to be honest.”
Jace grunted from beside you, making you and Helaena both turn to him, “Are you alright?”
“Just fine,” he held his lips in a thin tight line.
You went back to your conversation with Helaena about her uncle, Gwayne and Lord Tully, when you were finally met by another suitor.
“Sister. Niece. Nephew,” Aemond stood in front of you, a smirk dancing on his lips.
“Uncle,” you looked at him with raised brows.
“I was just wondering if you would join me for a dance. I’ve seen all of these useless men that call themselves suitors and figured you needed a more distinguished partner, such as a prince.”
You blinked slowly at him, Helaena nudged you with a smile. You quickly glanced at Jace and thought he looked like he was about to roll over and die.
You stood and came around the table to meet him, you took his offered hand, “Let’s see how well you dance, Uncle.”
Helaena watched the two of you walk away, “A great pair, the two of them, they’ll be fantastic together,” she took a grape off your plate, popping it in her mouth and walking off.
This was Jace’s last straw, seeing you dance with Aemond might have been the most painful thing he’s ever done in his entire life. After watching for just a couple moments, he could not stand it any longer.
His mother rolled her eyes, watching him seethe, “Jace.”
“What?”
“Go get her.”
“What?”
“Go. I can see it in your eyes.”
Jace stood, rushing down to you and grabbing your arm, stealing you away from Aemond.
You followed him, shocked at the sudden behavior. He yanked you to his chambers, leaving the doors open.
Once in his room, you pulled away from him, “Jacaerys! What is the meaning of this?”
“You! You are the meaning of this!” His yelling made you take a step back, he stalked up, putting his hand on either side of your face, holding on tightly, “You think you can tease me like that? Taking any man who offered his hand?”
“Jace-”
“You know they are no good for you. They may be nobles, but are they heir to the Iron Throne? You are simply doing this to upset me.”
Your voice became small, “I did not mean to upset you.”
You could feel wetness pooling in your small clothes beneath your gown. He shoved his face into yours, harshly smashing his lips on yours.
You stumbled back at the forced, you pushed him back to take a breath and think about what you are doing. After a couple deep breaths, you rushed at him, nearly mounting him.
He groped and grasped at every part of you, you doing the same to him. His lips moved down to your neck, sucking lightly at it.
You threw your head back as his teeth grazed the sensitive area of your neck. The two of your shuffled your way to his bed.
“Jace… the doors, someone might see or hear.”
“I hope they do.”
“But—”
He pushed you on his bed, “I want them to hear how good your brother can make you feel, how they will never be me, how they will never taste you.”
He spread your legs, pulling off your underclothes. He grabbed your thighs, flipping you to straddle his face.
You fell forward, steadying yourself up with your hands. You pushed yourself up back in a sitting position.
Jace yanked at your legs, pulling you further down onto his face. You felt his nose buried into your cunt, rubbing against your sensitive bud.
You were about to voice your concerns about suffocating him, but you suddenly gasped out as you felt his tongue lick a long stripe down your maidenhood.
He thrusted his tongue in and out of you roughly, you screamed out for everyone in the hall to hear, “Gods! Jace!”
Visceral animalistic sounds came from the back of your throat, sounds you had never heard before.
In the hall, the attention of the crowds was taken by your yells, guards grabbed at their swords, you mother rose suddenly at your scream, Daemon was on his feet and ready for an oncoming attack.
One of Jace’s personal guards came rushing into the room to promise that no one was in danger and that the two of you were… together in his chambers.
Your mother and Daemon’s faces instantly reddened. They shared a look of embarrassment and pride. On one hand, as your parents, they wanted to kill you both, but as the Queen and King Consort, they knew the realm would be in their children’s hands at their demise.
Tears rolled down your face as Jace fucked you with his tongue. You had never felt such pleasures in your entire life. It made you understand why lowborn men seek out such endeavors at the disloyalty of their wives.
Jace couldn’t get enough of you. You tasted sweeter than anything that’s ever touched his tongue. His tongue moved faster as you panted, moaned, and groaned above him.
As his pace quickened, you felt a tight coiling in your lower stomach.
“Jace… fuck!”
At your vulgarity, he quickened his pace. You came fast and harder than you ever thought you could. Jace took all of your juices into his mouth, not leaving a drop of your sweet release.
You collapsed next to him, panting outrageously. He lay next to you, breathless, laughing to himself. You grabbed a pillow, hitting him the face with it. He took it from you, tossing it on the ground.
He came to hover over you, trapping you beneath his figure. You leaned down and kissed your lips gently, you could still taste your arousal on his lips.
You stared at him with a smile, “I suppose you think making the entire Keep believe we were under attack is funny?”
“It was not I that made them think we were under attack. If I am not mistaken, it was you screaming your head off.”
“You were the one who yanked me away from the celebration.”
“Yes, but you were the one who made me.”
You scoffed, sitting up against the headboard, “Made you?”
“Yes, dancing with that Tully, the fucking Hightower knight, and worse of all, Aemond.”
“Mmm, sounds like you are jealous?” You taunted him sarcastically.
“They are not deserving of you.”
“And you are?”
“I am the heir to the Iron Throne and your blood. I am the most deserving.”
“So are you suggesting I should become Queen one day?”
“Hmm, I do not remember offering my hand to you to wed…”
You hit him in the stomach with the back of your hand, “You just had the entire Seven Kingdoms hear my screams while you were buried up my dress. I would slaughter you and become the heir myself if you did not ask for my hand after that.”
He took your hand in his, kissing the back of your palm, “I shall talk to Mother in the morn.”
You stared at your intertwined hands, “We should return…”
“You think we are able to return after the little show we put on?”
“I suppose you are right,” you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder.
He got up, leaving you on his bed. He walked to his chamber doors, locking them.
He returned to you, laying on his back, “Perhaps we should just rest now, we shall deal with our consequences tomorrow.”
You lay with him, resting your head on his chest, he brought his hand to rub your arm, coaxing you to sleep.
He pressed a couple kiss to your hairline, “You will be my wife soon enough, dōna tala.”
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