#and i know he's off of treatment and on a loooot of morphine
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#is it shitty of me to say i sort of wish he would just die#like i hate. sitting here and waiting for That phone call#we're not close#and i know he's off of treatment and on a loooot of morphine#and he'll die comfortably and with his children around there#my dad and my aunt are sleeping in shifts so he's never alone#i just. sort of. wish he would just. get it over with#and this sounds FUCKING shitty but this week works better than next week bc of some stuff with joes work#and absolutely works this month more than. say. next month or november#idk this sounds extremely selfish#ive been through plenty of death and i know how to handle it by now#i know i dont seem to handle it Correctly#(at least according to the people around me.)#idk. i hate waiting#i know hes going to die within the next two weeks#and i hate constantly glancing at my phone and waiting#idk. idfk.
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