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#i just. sort of. wish he would just. get it over with
troublesomesnitch · 2 days
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The Devil You Know
Aemond x Septa!Reader - Pt. 2
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Little follow-up to this, but hopefully works OK on its own! There might be a third and final part also.
Contents: Book!Aemond, filth and depravity. Coercion, manipulation, power imbalance, dubious consent, medieval fuckboy Aemond. Just the tip...
Words: 3200
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Full disclosure - possibly a bit unpolished because I wanted to get it done before S2.
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You left the grand sept just days after your investiture. 
At noon on the first day of the new month, a royal courier came to fetch you, loading your meagre belongings onto a cart to bring both that and yourself to the castle. To your new home and abode: a chamber with one bed, one table and one little chair, one sconce and one seven-pointed star on the wall. Naturally in the servant’s quarters, but on the highest floor, along with the ladies’ maids, far away from the damp cellars and busy kitchens.
The queen’s household is large, and you are somewhere in the middle of the hierarchy; expected to follow orders, but able to give them, too. You are a septa now, a woman grown, and for the first time in all of your life you have no Mother Superior to answer to, no Septon Alester, and no other girls sharing your bedchamber - which is both a blessing and a curse. It is nice and quiet to be by yourself, free of prying eyes and Sister Sybella’s snoring. But no one pays notice when you slip out at night, and if you run into a maid or steward, they naturally assume that you are headed towards Her Grace or Princess Helaena’s chambers. 
Luckily, Prince Aemond’s rooms are in roughly the same direction. 
When others are near, he is perfectly honourable. Really, his performance is quite impressive. Not too eager, not too distant, perfectly measured when he greets you in the halls, or sits with his mother in her solar. But at night, at night he is different. When the hour grows late and the royal family say their goodnights, he will find a chance to strike, to brush past you and squeeze your wrist, or run his fingers over the small of your back to let you know that he wishes to see you. That he wants you to come to him tonight. 
To his chamber, to his bed, to his arms. 
It is a humiliating plight, and you climb the steps of Maegor’s Holdfast with all the enthusiasm of a convict walking to the scaffold. Weighed down by the guilt of your actions, terrified that someone should know. And resentful, of the prince for making you dishonour your vows, and of the gods for cursing you with beauty - had they made you ugly, Prince Aemond would never have spared you a glance, and you would not be in this predicament. You would not be forced to indulge his lusts and endure the liberties he takes with your body. 
But most of all, worst of all, you feel ashamed. Of all the things you do together, and of the fact that you cannot deny it does sometimes bring you pleasure, too. 
You have permitted him to kiss your mouth, your throat, your chest. Wrapped your hands  around his member and stroked it while he fondled your breasts. Let him lie on top of you and rut against you, still fully clothed, pressing hard between your legs until both of you were sweaty and panting. And once, only once, you let him slip his hand up under your skirts and touch you there, and it felt more wonderful than anything else you have ever experienced. So wonderful that you have not allowed him to do it again, for fear that it should corrupt your soul and spirit. That you will always crave it, the warm press of his fingers, and the way your body suddenly shook and tightened with a pleasure so exquisite you could not help but cry out in ecstasy. 
But he has never had you. Never put any part of himself inside you, never even seen your naked body. It is the strangest thing - there are surely many ladies who would give themselves to him, wholly and fully, yet for some reason, he wants only you.
And he does not waste time with any sort of pleasantries. The joys of night are short, and he can only keep you for so long - you must be back in time to rest, and at the very least before the scullions and kitchen maids rise. You have hardly latched the door before he wraps you in his longing arms, laying you on his bed and parting your legs. The sheets are soft against your back, and his leathers are smooth and cool, and you do not protest when he lays on top of you. You have grown used to the feel of his chest against yours, the heaviness of him, and the hard and lean lines of his body, so different from your own. You have grown used to his kisses too. You like it when he pecks gently at your lips, and when he slides his tongue into your mouth and curls it around your own. When he strokes your body in all sorts of ways, to see what darling little noises he can coax from you this time. 
“Have you ever been touched like this before?” he breathes - a silly question, since he knows the answer well enough already. 
“No,” you whisper. “Never.”
“Say it again,” he commands, closing his eye and breathing in deeply, pressing his nose to your sweet-smelling hair. 
“No other man has ever touched me - only you.” 
It arouses him very much, hearing those words, and he groans softly when he takes your hand and guides it down between your bodies. Knowing what he wants you to do, you hike your skirts up, just enough to run your own fingers along the folds of your womanhood and hold them up for him to taste. Which he does with the most fervent passion, sighing as he licks them clean of any trace of you. He has asked many times to be allowed to taste your sweetness from its source, but you have staunchly refused, appalled at the mere suggestion. He should not press his mouth to such a dirty place. He should not lick something that serves only the body’s most revolting and shameful functions. 
Usually, once he has kissed you like this for a while, and pressed and rubbed against you, he will either reach his end from that alone, or he will make you pleasure him with your hands. But not tonight. 
“Let me feel you,” he pants. “Just this once let me put it inside - ”
“It is a sin,” you gasp, mortified, but nonetheless shivering when he pulls at your sleeve, exposing your shoulder to cover it with kisses. 
“As is this,” he whispers. “And this, and this - ”
His mouth is lovely and warm on your skin, and his teeth are gentle when they scrape along your throat, nibbling softly above your neckline, and biting down hard below it. Making your breathing uneven as you struggle to string your words together. 
“But it is different - you know that it is, please don’t make me do it…”
The prince lifts his head to look at you, propped up on his elbow. 
“It is the movements that are the most sinful part of the act - is it not?” he says, cupping your face and stroking your cheek in the tenderest of ways. When you nod, he adds, “and if I were to not perform them, would that not be a lesser sin?”
His tone is innocent enough, but you know that wicked look in his eyes, the self-assured draw of his mouth. He knows that he is right - it is the movements, not the insertion itself that makes the act of coupling so sinful. And if he showed restraint and did not move in any such manner, then you suppose it would be a lesser sin. Although they did not mention such possible circumventions in your training, naturally. And there are other issues, still. 
“But my maidenhead…” you mutter, looking bashfully to the side when the prince touches his nose to yours. 
“I will be gentle,” he breathes. “I will be so very gentle - my angel, my love - let me at least have you this way… ”
It never really is your choice to make. To be alone with the prince is to balance on a precarious ledge - you can deny him some things, but only so long as you can offer something else that might appease him. And though he never makes overt threats, you are painfully aware that displeasing him could have dire consequences. That he could hurt you in a multitude of ways if he so wished. 
You squirm under his gaze, riddled with so many conflicting emotions; fearful of his intentions, yet blushing at the terms of endearment. Who would not want to hear such lovely words from a prince?
“Just this once,” he whispers, his voice soft and amorous. Just this once…
All you give him is the faintest nod, a slight incline of your head, and his hands are already pushing at your skirts, bunching them up over your parted knees. His breath hitches at the sight of your womanhood, your most intimate parts that you have never bared to him before; wet and inviting, framed by soft curls. Lovelier than he had ever even imagined, that rosy colour of your innermost lips, that little pearl you will not let him touch. And most of all your maidenhead, the delicate tissue that partially covers your entrance, and that he will earnestly try not to damage beyond what is necessary. 
For reasons he could not say, you have quite enchanted him. So much so that he has lavished more patience and tenderness on you than ever before on a woman, and that despite seeing so little return on the investment. For weeks he has contented himself with just your hand and your reluctant kisses, the mere feel of your body beneath him. Many times, he could have taken you by force, and many times he wanted to, yet somehow he could not bring himself to do it, could not bear the thought that you should hate him for it. That your delicate limbs should be hurt in trying to fight him off. 
He has waited long for this, and he does not want to give you time to change your mind, so he only quickly shrugs off his doublet and unbuttons his breeches to free his manhood. Which is painfully hard and in dire need of relief.
It still looks so strange to you, that unholy appendage, with its swollen shaft and its fat, fleshy head. Like the poisonous mushrooms that grow in the Kingswood, though you always keep that thought to yourself - you doubt the prince would appreciate such a childish comparison. He strokes it slowly while his other hand disappears between your legs, brushing over your womanhood and spreading your folds to reveal your little opening. Untried, uncharted by anything or anyone. 
You grit your teeth when the tips of his fingers are replaced by - something else. 
Slowly, steadily, he begins to ease himself inside of you, and you feel your muscles instantly and unwittingly tensing up, startled at the sensation. At the pressure, and at the sound the prince makes when the tip of his member is enveloped by your body, the tight rim of your entrance squeezing its sensitive head. The rest of him will not fit, but he spits into his palm and strokes it along his shaft, and that makes things glide a little better, as do your slow, deliberate breaths. 
It hurts, it really does, only not in the way you expected. You do not so much feel like anything is being torn or ripped - rather, you feel stretched, forcibly split apart and opened far beyond what should be possible. Your insides burn from it, and you wince with pain when he adjusts his position, spreading your thighs wider and driving his hips forward. Pressing in until he is fully seated. 
And he moans from how perfect you feel around him. So soft, so tight. His seeing eye closes and his breathing is hoarse, strained from how badly he needs to move, needs to thrust; his arms trembling by the sides of your head as he struggles to hold himself still. It is a bizarre thing to do, you think, just laying together like this, one on top of the other, completely motionless. Your legs raised over his hips, his chin resting against your forehead. His manhood swelling within you, throbbing with need. You can only hope it means that he will finish quickly and release you from this chore, from the searing pain that scorches your core, and the feeling of being so trapped, so tethered. Much like one of the many-legged creatures on Princess Helaena’s wall; splayed out and nailed down, held in place by a foreign object piercing your body. 
But the prince likes it. You have never heard such heavy sighs from him as just now, never seen such utter bliss on his face. His forehead is damp with sweat, his brows drawn together, his upper lip subtly twitching. One of his hands trails up the back of your naked thigh, lifting your leg to curl it around his back, and he moans from that too, as the slight shift gives him a brief feeling of movement. It is not at all comfortable for you, but you are distracted when he seeks your lips, claiming your mouth with slow, deep kisses. His tongue rolls over yours, pulling back to lick along your lip before plunging into your mouth again, over and over, in a strangely repetitive way. A rhythmic way. As if he is making love to your mouth, since he cannot make love to your body. 
It feels lovely, so lovely that it makes your insides twitch. Which in turn makes the prince curse, and a violent shudder run through his body. 
“Do it again,” he moans, and like always you do your best to please him. Clenching your muscles, squeezing tight around him, then releasing again. Very slowly, and each time feeling his breathy gasp against your face, and the thrum of a heartbeat inside of you - whether his or yours, you cannot say. It is painful with your already sore muscles, and it must be a poor excuse for what it is supposed to mimic, but it is still better than nothing, judging by how the prince moans. How he bites his lip and furrows his brow as your insides twitch and contract, so tight and slick and warm. 
How strange to think that now you have become one. Now you are as close as two people can ever be. Closer still when the prince slithers his arm underneath your body, pressing you hard against him and cradling your head. Your fingers are clenched in the damp material of his shirt, and he unfurls them gently to wrap your arms around his neck, around his shoulders; wanting you to hold him, to embrace him as a woman should her lover. 
It makes your discomfort somewhat more bearable, having something to cling and anchor yourself to. The closeness, and the intimacy of it, how his face is right above yours, your noses touching and breaths mingling. He drags his mouth against your own, from side to side, his lips brushing over yours, then over the rest of your face; your chin, your cheekbones, your temples. So, so gently, and like often before, you are stunned that he can be both so cruel and so tender with you. So selfish, and so soft. 
He has had countless chances to force himself on you, yet he never did. Even now he is keeping his promise, holding back, fighting hard to not succumb to that most powerful and natural instinct of a man, this urge to thrust, to copulate. You can feel that he is shivering with the force of his need, gritting his teeth, unable to keep completely still - there is a gentle, almost imperceptible swaying of his body that he cannot help, an impossibly slow rocking with each of his ragged breaths. 
He really is beautiful, you think, with his striking eyes and thick, silvery hair; pink lips parted in a breathy sigh. You could not say what possessed you to be so bold, but you find yourself reaching up to place a wet, lingering kiss underneath his jaw, right on top of the constellation of freckles that adorns his neck, swiping your tongue across it and tasting the sweat of his skin. To an almost immediate effect - at the feeling of your timid caresses, the prince curses loudly, clenching his fingers in the sheets, arching his back - 
“No!” you exclaim, “not inside me, not inside - ”
But it is too late; he has already shuddered once, and his manhood is already pulsing and spurting when he manages to withdraw from you. So stiff that it flops up against his stomach, a grotesque thing to look upon, the way it just hangs there, squirting out semen as he groans and gasps. At the very end of his rapture he grasps it with one hand, stroking it hard all the way from the base to the tip, as though wanting to squeeze out every last bit of fluid. And once he is spent, he rolls off of you and onto his back, completely unceremoniously. Leaving you raw and hurting inside, and with the sticky feeling of his semen trickling out between your thighs. 
“If it catches,” you whisper, afraid to even speak the words. “If I should be with child…”
The prince runs a hand over his face, panting and still too lightheaded to be thinking clearly, because he stupidly tells you that needn’t worry, he will have a tea brought to you -
“No! please no,” you shriek, panicked. “They would know I broke my vows - ”
“Then I will bring it myself,” he snaps, but rather than reassure you, his harsh tone only makes you tear up.
At the sigh of your quivering mouth, his face softens, and he reaches out to pull you into his arms, hold you against his chest, stroke your hair and rock you gently. Say forgive me, forgive me, I quite forgot myself, you mustn’t cry, my love -
“Why must you torment me,” you sob. “Sooner or later someone will know, they will shame me and ruin me - “
“They wouldn’t dare,” he says. “I would not let them - I will cut off any hand that hurts you - “
You press your ear to his chest to drown out the sound of his voice, for he has said these same words many times before, and with the same fervour and poignancy. He adores you, he reveres you, he will cut off any hand that hurts you, any eye that ogles you, any tongue that slanders your name. 
You haven’t the courage to tell him - the only hand that hurts you is his own. 
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Please feel free to come into my asks or DMs with critique of my fics! Constructive is preferred, but not required.
Tags. @ladythornofrivia, @blackswxnn, @hightpwer, @toodlesxcuddles, @arcielee
@targaryen-madness, @qyburnsghost
And thank you @aemondsbabygirl for being a great one-woman focus group!
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cherie-doll · 3 days
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𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Hidden Affection
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༉‧₊˚. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Alejandro, Phillip Graves, Keegan, König, Nikto
・❥・"Audere est facere"
Ghost
Calculated steps, it’s like a slow dance you both partake in
Like an alarm going off in his head, he proceeds with caution
So skeptical of love, his feelings, everything
Even if he slowly narrows the path to you don’t expect immediate love
He doesn’t want to be the only one who gets hurt
He wants you to be his only one
To call out your name and for a warm smile to light up for him
While in a group conversation, he’ll crack a joke or two hoping you’ll laugh
Those softened eyes that rested upon you
Gazes that lasted a little longer than they should’ve
He couldn’t help it
Soap
A hopeless romantic all his life
The lonely feeling that goes away when he’s with you
Lots of daydreaming and heart-racing
That eye contact feels like an electric spark that shoots straight up his spine and keeps him alert for the rest of the day
He lights up when you’re near
The words he sincerely wanted to tell you
You’re the one he desperately looks for every chance he gets
Finds every excuse to see you
Nothing hurts him more than having to ignore you while in front of others
“It shouldn’t have to be like this…”
And he hugs you as if it’ll be the last time he’ll ever get to touch you. every. time.
Gaz
Tries to learn things about you, for instance, your favorite things, your preferences
He may be talking all giddy and comfortably and suddenly go quiet to observe you while you do something
Subtly acting differently when he’s around you
Something in the air changes when you make eye contact
Like a moment of silence and stillness when from across the room you find one another
Electricity runs through his veins when his fingers graze your skin
Traces of a smile that remains on his face long after you’ve talked to him
Leaves love notes hidden among your belongings
Maybe nothing else in the world belongs to him, but he’s at ease knowing he has your love
Alejandro
He’s smug when he notices your voice falter knowing he’s doing something to you
Sees it like a game to see how close he can come to the line between playful banter and genuine interest
A lot of patience testing, a game of pushing and pulling
What he thought would be a light and easily enjoyed game soon turned into something more
The growing heartbeat gets louder until the last second
A sweet game of Russian roulette
You constantly remind yourself to keep your beating heart still
What you don’t know is however many times you’ve had to calm your heart, how much more did he find himself in a tumult of emotions wishing he could come forth with his feelings
Phillip Graves
He hates the way he feels dumb and dizzy when he gets too close to you
Idiot in love but in denial
You start to notice his attraction to you through his trivial habits
Once, he helped you stand up, and the way he grasped your hand and flexed it after you had let go
Not only does he start to show his feelings through wit and charm but also when it comes to your wellbeing
He cares for his Shadows but cares excessively when it is about you
“I have the right to be worried” or “Stop fooling around, you’ll get yourself killed”
Behind those seemingly harsh words is a tender spot that’s reserved just for you to take over
He had hit the limit of his patience when you finally decided to make a move, after that it was smooth sailing
Secret meetups in his office ;)
Keegan
I can’t imagine him gazing at you with those deep blue eyes without it making you uneasy
Just gazing at you would grant him peace
He wishes to devour you; kiss you, touch you, to show how much you ignite passion within him
Treats your mouth as if it were heaven’s gate
Meeting in secret is difficult and not always easy, when more than a week goes by without some sort of intimacy he’ll get jealous
Lashing out because he can’t just stride over to you and embrace you
Firmly takes your wrist and guides you to a secluded area
“Don’t show that smile to anyone else darling, it’s for me only”
He makes it up to you; the little time spent together makes up for the entire day
König
Won’t say anything you have to listen carefully to notice his barely perceptible acts of affection
He watches you, can’t speak, wandering around you without taking his eyes off of you
Every thought naturally flows toward you
Like a sugar craving, he wants a sweet love like this
He stares at you for a long time, waiting for you to fall into his hands when you’re alone
What if it’s just infatuation?
The emotions that are halfway there, might not be that sweet he realizes
He just feels afraid it’ll all shatter if he tries reaching out and making the relationship known
So his eyes wandered around
Sometimes feeling his heart trembling
Daydreams of one day reaching that love like a sweet fruit on the end of an outstretched branch
Nikto
The truth is, it wasn’t love at first sight
He saw nothing distinctive about you right away
He’s never been a man to seek flirting
Although it took time for your subdued personality to come to his attention
When he found a certain liking for you it surprised him
Conversation with you had always been easy
One of you will glance at the other only to find them already looking and neither of you can help but smile
“You know you don’t have to pretend”
Rushed kisses given in secret
Frustration building in his chest, all pent up and ready to burst when he senses you nearby
His heart is thrown into chaos and he doesn’t know what to do, but you’re there to assure him it’s going to be fine <3
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rooksamoris · 20 hours
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💞 — 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐄.
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💞 — in which you teach malleus a new phrase and he grows somber about your inevitable death.
💞 — malleus draconia x reader
💞 — warnings: hurt/comfort type fic. some descriptions of gore to emphasize heartache. reader does catch a cold. malleus is sad </3 mentions of death and mortality/fragility.
💞 — 1.2k words. various arab groups tell their loved ones 'taqburouni' meaning 'may you bury me' affectionately. i thought of malleus when i heard it again recently, since he very well would be stuck burying his loved ones. eid mubarak my lovelies!!
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Taq-bu-rou-ni.
Malleus’s brows knitted in a bit of interest as he replayed your word in his mind, splitting each of the syllables to pronounce it the way you did. It was a foreign word, and for someone who knew bygone languages, this was a word he had not heard. You said it with a look of affection in your eyes. It was your way of being romantic, well, with the way you drawled the final vowel, that much was obvious.
“And what does that mean?” he asked, his bright green eyes following the shape of your silhouette as you walked. Those slitted pupils of his dilated. 
“Taqburouni? Ah, it means ‘may you bury me,’” you said, innocently. The words spilled from your lips like sugared blades, so sweet yet so painful. It clung to his skin and when he tried to pull away, it tore his skin.
He paused his walking for a moment, stopping you with him. Those words reminded him that he could spend a century dwelling on that term, while you could not even spare a minute. 
Taqburouni.
That phrase you had taught Malleus planted itself into his lungs and wrapped around his esophagus. He knew you meant it affectionately. It was your way of wishing him a long life, one long enough that he would get the chance to bury you. You had known all sorts of romantic sayings that bordered on being eerie and strange. The vines you were growing wrapped around his lungs and sunk their thorns into them greedily, causing sweet blood to splatter onto his ribcage.
He knew he would get the chance to bury you. His child of man was too frail to live as long as he.
His pause caused you some worry and you squeezed his hand, pulling it closer to you so that his knuckles hovered near your chest, “It’s weird, isn’t it?” you joked, your brows furrowed in concern, “It’s an affectionate way of wishing that someone you love has a long life… I get if it’s not your thing—I just—I—”
Malleus silenced you by placing his free hand on your head. He let it slide over your hair and behind your head. His long fingers threaded their way through some of the strands as he gripped the back of your head. They were like stubborn blossoms in a valley of wilting roses, desperate to keep you close and alive, “It is lovely, a fine way of showing affection,” he told you. 
The future king decided against telling you just how uncomfortable that term made him. It infiltrated his body like a strong virus, poisoning his body and eating away at his flesh from the inside. Just like the vines that you planted in his lungs, tearing him apart beneath the layer of flesh, muscle, and bone.
A smile came to your face at his reassurance and you kissed his knuckles, “I’m glad you think so, Malleus,” you told him. 
Taqburouni. He found it anything but lovely. Malleus understood the purpose of such a term, and he knew you were just being lovelorn, but Sevens. Each vowel was like a threat, each one getting closer to him losing you. Taq—and you were cut, bu—you were sick, rou—bedridden, ni—and suddenly he was back in the Briar Valley, standing before another tombstone. To him, it was purely unromantic. 
It was violent and it was cruel.
You shivered due to the cold breeze and his gaze hardened, “Let us return you to the dorm, beastie. You’ll freeze if you’re out any longer,” he said, taking his uniform blazer off to drape over your shoulders. This body of yours was so delicate. Too delicate.
“Oh, Malleus… but you’ll get cold,”
He laughed, “I think you forget who you’re speaking to,” he said, his eyes watching your body tense up slightly. That delicious blush covered your cheeks and he was tempted to freeze time right here. Surely there was a spell for that, that way he could keep you forever and your words, your plea that he buries you, would never come true.
Bashfully, you averted your gaze and kept walking beside him. Oh, how he wanted to pounce.
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Days later, that poisonous word was still on his mind. 
It came up in particular when you caught a cold. The illness had been traveling around the school, your favorite duo from Heartslabyul had gotten it, but not nearly as bad as you. People had been coughing in class, sniffling as they walked through the halls—Malleus blamed himself for worsening it due to all the nights he dragged you away on romantic walks where he showed you the secrets of the campus.
Now he was sitting at your bedside in Ramshackle dorm. It was not nearly as dilapidated as it used to be. You had cleaned up a lot, bleaching whatever you could to kill sickness, and it still managed to sneak in. There were cracks in the windows… it probably made the nights even colder for you.
One of these beams could fall and kill you.
“Taqburouni.”
The blasted word repeated itself in his mind as he watched you squirm in your bed. Your breathing was shallow, you were sweating—he could end you with a raise of his finger, “Too fragile. Like a bird’s eggshell. All it would take is to push you out of a nest and then…” His brows furrowed as the back of his hand trailed down the side of your sickly face.
Your skin looked much less vibrant in this state.
This moment and thousands of others would pass him like a dream. One day he would bury you and then take the throne. Your bought of romance would end up being a dream. He would wake up with a crown on his head, black robes draping every inch of him, and the flickering memories you made here.
His fingers trailed down to your throat for a moment and he tapped the dainty skin with his sharp nails. Just the tiniest bit of pressure and you would bleed. Not even the strongest swords would break through his scales.
“Malleus,” you muttered, breathlessly as you tried to open your eyes. The light was too bright so all you could do was blearily squint at him before shutting your eyes again, “I feel so weak…”
“You look it too,”
“Huh?”
He stared at your face for a moment, taking in the way your eyes drifted back shut. Your brows knitted softly, and it made him want to kiss that space between your eyes, “Rest,” he whispered, his hand turning to cup your face. A bit of his magic traveled from the tips of his fingers to your skin, forcing you to inhale a green mist that would temporarily put you to sleep.
Malleus felt the urge to keep you in this state of sleep for one hundred years. Instead, he settled for leaning in and kissing your forehead, “May you bury me,” he whispered. He promised to find a way to keep you alive with him for good. He would find a way to keep everyone and everything he loved alive with him till he breathed his last flame.
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sincerelybubbles · 3 hours
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It's a Date part 2
warnings: fluff, descriptions of being touch starved (? idk) not really edited oopsies
synopsis: things go well after f!reader and spencer's date, spencer helps reader see that she's wanted and deserving of affection
part 1 || masterlist
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
“Sorry, it’s messy,” you say, wringing your hands as you walk through the door. You hear Spencer laugh out through his nose, a quick burst of air that has you spinning around to watch him latch the door. 
He’s shaking his head, hair falling in front of his eyes, nose bridge crinkled. 
“What?”
“You’re acting like I’ve never been here before.” He twists the deadbolt and walks over to you, shaking his head one more time before slipping off his shoes and heading into the kitchen. 
“I don’t know, I guess it feels different, somehow, now that …” Neither of you has tried to put a label on this. It’s been weeks, coffee dates squished between hectic work schedules, yawning absences while he chases cases with the team, and one movie night at his place that had you listening to him rant about the inaccuracies of a historical drama you picked out. It’s been lovely, you adore his tendencies to go off on tangents, enjoying simply watching him light up and trip over his own words to get everything out. It feels like he’s racing to say whatever he can before you interrupt him. You never have, something he commented on during your second date. 
“You know you can just tell me to shut up when I go off about stupid stuff like that. Everyone does, I’m used to it, I don’t want to bore you.” “Why would I? It’s not boring or stupid — it’s stuff you care about and I like hearing what you care about.”
“Now that, what?” Spencer asks, settling his back against your counter and resting his hands on the edge behind him. 
He’s still in his work clothes, tie loose, gun at his hip, hair behind his ears. 
One thing you didn’t expect from him? Confidence. You knew he had to be confident in some ways — he’s never doubted his intellectual ability that you could tell — but it only took a short time for him to gain his comfort around you. No longer did he blush and bumble his way through sentences, struggling to meet your eye. Your first kiss actually seemed to clear that up quickly. 
It happened feet away from where you’re standing, outside of your door, after dinner. He reached forward to brush an eyelash on your cheek as you said goodbye, you leaned into his hand and, after a moment and with a burst of adrenaline that fueled your forwardness, you leaned up and toward him, a hand on his arm, and brought your lips to his.  He was hesitant, fingertips brushing your cheekbone, but he came to life as you pulled away to ask him if this was alright, palm meeting your cheek fully and bringing you in for a proper kiss.  Excitement was evident by the way he pressed closer to you, stepping nearer and putting another hand on your waist, locking you in place. Under the excitement was a tenderness you’ve never felt before. He kissed like he wanted to take all the air from your lungs but he held you with the sort of care that made your lungs ache for a reason entirely seperate from the kissing. 
“I don’t know,” you say, chickening out from asking for the hundredth time, going to meet him in the kitchen. 
“Hey,” Spencer says, catching you by the waist and pulling you to come stand near him with one hand on your hip. “Ask,” he says, tucking his chin to grin down at you, nudging your foot with his.
“Why don’t you?”
“I’m afraid to scare you off,” he says with a smile. Behind his eyes, though, you can see the truth in it. 
He called you the morning after your date. Young sunlight caught in your eyes and caused you to squint as you searched for your forgotten phone, spots dancing and dust creating a kaleidoscope as you pressed answer.  “Hello?” you asked, confused. It was Spencer, wishing you a good morning. He went quiet when you asked why he called, if everything was okay.  “Everything is fine, sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.” “It’s okay, I need to be up soon anyway. Why’d you call, though?” “I just couldn’t get the thought out of my head last night that I must have done something to mess it all up. I wanted to call and make sure I hadn’t.” “You could never, Spencer.”
You know the uncertainty still rears its head, even with the confidence that’s fostered with time. 
“It feels incredibly juvenile,” you say, rolling your eyes and smoothing your hands up his chest to rest on his shoulders. 
“Ask,” he whispers, “I’ll say yes. All you have to do is ask.”
The week after your first date, Spencer showed up at your office, panting, a bag in his hand. You stood up, shocked to see him at the station, and hurried out to meet him in the lobby.  “You said you wanted lunch from the Chinese place down the road because you forgot to pack something,” Spencer said by way of explanation. You had mentioned it, briefly, in a text. “I was just complaining, you didn’t have to spend your lunch break on this,” you said, eyes welling up with tears. You reached forward, ignoring the bags, and pulled him into a hug. “You’re entirely too sweet to me. This was too much.” “Nothing is too much, all you have to do is ask.” 
“When I call back my friend later,” you start, determined to ask while looking in his eyes, drowning as you do it, face heating, “can I tell her my boyfriend came to spend some time with me?”
It’s sort of a cop-out, of course, and Spencer catches it — you’re not directly asking, but he nods anyway, then laughs, leaning forward to kiss you. 
The kiss is messy, he’s laughing and you’re smiling, but you appreciate it all the same. 
“Why are you laughing?” You ask, leaning back and catching another kiss on your nose and then your cheek. 
“There’s a few reasons. I never thought I would have this, for one, and I guess I’m just happy.”
“You guess?”
“I know.”
You wind up in bed. Nothing nefarious, not yet — both of you understand that space to breathe and grow together is much more important and that awkwardness needs to settle into comfortable familiarity before crossing that specific line. 
Spencer drags his finger across your cheek, tracing your bone structure. His other hand is tucked under your side, holding your hip and keeping you close. 
The feeling in your chest is heavy, pressing up into your throat and capturing any words you could dare to think. 
“Are you okay?” Spencer asks, voice a whisper, breath fanning across your face and causing little hairs to prick up across your arms. 
You nod, looking him in the eye and signaling the truth. His nearness wasn’t causing you distress but the unfamiliarity of it is hard to not become consumed by. 
You squeeze your eyes closed, nose scrunching and fight tears. 
“Are you sure?” Spencer asks, voice hesitant, fingers leaving your face and arms pushing to give you space. Space you don’t want. Space that makes your eyes snap open, searching for him, afraid he might waltz off any moment. 
“Yes,” you say, voice certain and hand snapping out to grab him before he can go too far. 
Tears well up in your eyes, against your internal fighting. You huff out an embarrassed laugh, leaning forward to press your forehead into his shoulder. His arms tighten around you, hesitant around your waist and cradling the back of your head. 
“Tell me what’s wrong, please,” he asks, voice soft, begging, an undertone of a demand that you adore. The sense that he would do anything to ensure that you feel better washes over you. It makes the sweetly-sick feeling well up into you further, drowning your senses. 
“Nothing is wrong,” you say, cuddling into him, slipping a foot inbetween his and tangling yourself tighter, “it’s just been a while since I’ve felt … wanted. And I do, now, with you — feel wanted. At least, I hope I am.”
“You are,” Spencer interrupts, reassuring. 
“It’s nice but I don’t really know what to do with it.”
“It?”
“The feeling, I guess.” You shrug. “I suppose touch starved is the right word, but it feels like more than that.”
His grip tightens as your tears come with a faster frequency, to your own annoyance. 
“I’m sorry, this is a really nice moment, I’m beyond happy, I don’t mean to ruin it.” You attempt to pull away to wipe your face but Spencer doesn’t let you. 
“Did you know that some studies show that a lack of connection socially is more detrimental than obesity or smoking? We literally need to feel connected to other people. And that’s just social connection — when left alone without any type of physical connection, specifically physical connection from someone you care about, depression, stress, and physical health can deteriorate. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed when you’re finally getting what you need — what everyone needs.”
“Touch starved,” you whisper, allowing him to hold you tight, relaxing further into his hold.
“Sorry?”
“Touch starved — I’ve heard people call it touch starved.”
Spencers hand moves to stroke your hair, picking up strands and twisting them before smoothing it down again. 
“That feels like an apt term for it.”You fall asleep like that, warm and pressed into his side, listening to him softly tell you about his week, feeling secure and wanted in a way you never have before.
taglist: @0108s22m @bowerfeithwk @screechingphantommaker @cultish-corner @doigettokeepyou @izukuwus
note: i really intended on this being more so please forgive me -- let me know what you think! i welcome constructive criticism as well as any and all thoughts you have!!
now that i've finished this, i might attempt another part to give u guys more but i also am taking requests/thinkin' of new things to write!! more spencer to come, as well as possibly some hotch, so keep an eye out
ily all and tysm for the support 3
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striped-carpet · 1 day
Text
A Second Chance?
M. List
A/N: I know I took a break for a bit, but I've been thinking about getting back into writing again. I usually write headcanons, but this time I decided to try my hand at an actual one-shot again since my first one was kinda miserable imo. I hope you enjoy!
Type: Kuroo x (implied fem.) reader Summary: Following a break up between you and Kuroo, the two of you reconnect in an unexpected way.
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Kuroo had no idea why this was happening. The two of you were doing so good before, weren’t you? That was what he thought until he spotted you in a cutesy little cafe with none other than his best friend of many years, Kenma Kozume, anyway. He had always suspected there may have been some sort of unacknowledged feelings between the two of you, and this was only proven further after you and Kuroo broke up almost two weeks ago. He knows he shouldn’t be bothered by this, you weren’t his anymore after all. But, God, does he wish you were. For him, the time since the two of you split has been absolute hell, especially since you were the one to end things. Obviously you didn’t feel the same since you had apparently started seeing Kenma recently. That was the real punch in the gut for him. If it had been anyone else he’d spotted you with, he would've been happy for you. But his best friend…? Oh no. No, no, no. He was definitely not okay with this. But realistically, what could he even do about any of this? Here he was, standing in the middle of the sidewalk outside of a cafe in Tokyo watching you go on a date with his best friend, or so he thought. What he didn’t know was the real reason that you and Kenma were together at the moment. 
Friday evening after school, Kenma had sent you a text, which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary since the two of you were friends. What caught you off guard was the fact that he had invited you out. This was odd for two reasons: 1) Kenma doesn’t like to go out, and 2) You had just broken up with his best friend. However, you agreed anyway since you had barely left your house since the break up unless it was to go to school. That leads you to this morning. It started out pretty normal. You had gotten up, got ready, and set out to meet Kenma at the cafe. What you didn’t expect was to see your ex-boyfriend standing outside staring directly at the two of you. Both you and Kenma shared a worried look before turning your attention back to the young man outside. This was weird. Kuroo, the usually lively, sociable guy, was suddenly frozen in shock and looked as if he had just seen a ghost. As you waved a shy “hello” to him, you turned to Kenma who ushered you to go outside and talk to him. 
As you slowly made your way out the door, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly anxious. What if he got the wrong idea and wouldn’t even want to see you now? You shuddered at the thought as you made your way over to him, carefully dodging a few of the other pedestrians walking past you. A few more seconds passed and you eventually reached him.
“Hey.” you said in greeting, nervously scanning his face for any implication of annoyance or general dislike. 
As he heard your voice for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he snapped back to reality, shifting his gaze to look at you.
“Hey.” His voice was quiet as he spoke, something that was slightly unusual for him.
“So, you and Kenma, huh?”
Oh great, this was exactly what you feared would happen. As you began to think of an explanation, he cut your train of thought off.
“I don’t really care, of course. As long as the two of you are happy.”
‘What a lie.’, he thought. He was quite literally lying through his teeth right now. He cared. He cared so much more than he was willing to admit, but he would never let you know that. Not right now, at least. Not while the sting of the break up was still fresh.
“Oh, no, we’re not-” you started as you tried to explain yourself. “We were just discussing some things. You know, as friends…!”
You smiled, hoping desperately that he would believe you. You watched as his expression changed to one of suspicion. 
“As “friends”, gotcha.” he said bitterly, crossing his arms across his chest.
Your expression flickered to one of shock for a split second before you quickly regained your composure. “I’m being serious, Kuroo.” you said as you placed your hands on your hips.
He raised his eyebrows as you spoke, as if telling you to continue. And continue, you did.
“Last night, after school,” you began, staring him directly in the eyes as you spoke now. "Kenma had sent me a text, inviting me to go out with him today to discuss some things since he noticed what you couldn’t.”
As he listened to you, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“What I didn’t…?” he questioned, completely oblivious as to what you meant by this.
You nodded your head at his words, still maintaining eye contact.
“Mhm.” you hummed. “You know, like how I was slowly distancing myself from you and the rest of the team before we split, and for some unknown reason choosing to spend more time managing the girls’ team. All things that should have been of concern to you, but you were too focused on God knows what else.” 
That earned you a very bewildered look from Kuroo, who had somehow failed to notice all of those things, as observant as he was. 
“Huh…?” He muttered to himself, his mine now racing with thoughts. “How did I…?”
“I don’t know either,” you interrupted, shifting slightly where you stood as your eye contact faltered. “but I do know that that’s one of the main reasons for why I decided to leave you.” 
At this point, Kuroo isn’t sure what to feel as he stands there, listening to the girl he loves tell him what a fuck up he’s been as of late. All he knows is that he wants to try and fix this, and hopefully get you back into his arms 
His next words come out in a whisper, his expression now one of sorrow and regret. 
“I’m sorry…” he said, unsure of how to convey the truth of his words. “If I had just paid more attention to you, if I-”
You cut him off. “It’s okay. I’m over it now.” As you spoke, you tried to smile, but could only show a slight purse of your lips.
Kuroo simply nodded as you spoke, but there was still something on his mind. Just what were you doing here with Kenma? He’d decided that if there was a time to question you about it, the time was now while he still had you here.
“So, uh,” he began, suddenly unsure of how to word things. “what exactly were you and Kenma talking about before all of this…?” He decided to tread lightly, not wanting to get his feelings hurt again.
You thought for a moment before responding. “You.” you stated genuinely, not showing any signs of being untruthful.
His eyes widened slightly in surprise at your simple response. ‘Why on earth would they be talking about me?’ he thought to himself as he stared at you once again.
“Me…?” he asked quietly, unsure of if he was hearing you correctly. When you nodded in response, his mouth was slightly agape, unsure of how to respond. After a few moments of silence, he finally found something.
“Hey…,” he would say, hesitation evident in his voice. “can I ask you something…?” He finished his sentence, eyes scanning your face for any signs of a negative reaction. As he saw you nod once again, he continued.
“Say…I still have feelings for you.” he began, still watching you intently. “Would that be something that would cause issues?” His voice was soft, softer than usual as he asked his question, internally terrified of the outcome.
At the mention of him possibly feeling the same way as you do, your eyes were the ones widening in shock. You stared at him with the same dumbfounded expression he had just worn moments ago, in complete and utter disbelief. 
“Are you…?” you asked suspiciously, secretly hoping you were right in your suspicion.
“Saying I still love you?” he said, cutting you off in the process. “Yes, I am, actually.”
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Thank you for reading! I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!
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tellmeallaboutit · 1 day
Text
knock knock (Raphael x F!Player)
Chapter 6, In Which You Try To Look Away (It's Harder Than You Thought)
AO3
by the way, I saw today an art on twitter which is extremely Raul-coded
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I am not a murderer, you thought as you ordered the ATM to give you another two hundred euros.
Even if I am, that guy deserved it, you thought as you re-inserted the card to give you two hundred more (damn those limits per withdrawal).
Even if he didn’t (and he did), nobody is going to miss him, and his fiancee will move on to the next lawyer in Oliver Peoples glasses soon enough, and besides, people die in freak accidents all the time. 
Even if they don’t, well, if every death wish resulted in an actual death, humanity would be long extinct and that wouldn't be your fault, would it now?
With that comforting thought, you pocketed the last of your ten thousand euro goal, tired from having to repeat the same task for almost an entire hour. Anything can happen, Raphael could cut off access to his account on a whim, but cold hard cash was something you could hold onto even if you fell from his grace.
"Ms. Berger," came a voice on your phone with a strong French accent the moment you picked up. It was Raphael’s banker, Francois-something, who gave you the PIN in the first place. “Would it be easier if we delivered cash directly to you? Your withdrawals keep triggering our petty theft alerts."
"Oh no, thank you," you replied, trying your best not to sound like a petty thief. "I have enough for now... I think."
“As you wish,” came his slow reply.
"But uh... could you help me make two bank transfers?" You asked after a pause. "One to my mother, Franziska Berger… (how much how much how much?) ten thousand euro, I’ll send you the details… and one for the stray cats shelter... (how much how much how much?)… five thousand euro?"
Too much? How do you quantify the cost of accidentally-on-purpose getting some useless yuppie run over by a bus in terms of absolving your sins? 
Five thousand felt somewhat stingy.
“The stray cats?” The banker repeated back at you as though questioning whether this was some sort of coded drug deal.
“Yes,” You replied firmly. “They do incredible work. Ah! The kids cancer foundation, too. Five thousand. No, ten".
That seemed about right for the guy’s life.
"Ah, you meant charity. Of course," Francois replied, relief and amusement in his tone. "Lovely, great for the ESG rating. Make sure to get an invoice for the tax refund."
It didn’t quite sit well with you to use stray cats and kids for tax refunds, but you still said yes and stashed the money deep down the rucksack. You got a bit of cash for now (soon you will go for more, because who knows), but it’s still not an income source. 
What could be? Should you ask Raphael to buy an apartment in your name, or two? You could rent it. Or a company? Tenebris, for instance. Just imagine their gobsmacked faces - especially after they gave you the boot without even a severance package.
That was a delicious thought.
You let it simmer as you sat down in an tourist-trappy Italian restaurant in the city centre, just about to order an Aperol Spritz when your phone began to ring again. You are in high demand these days.
"Anya!" Your mum gasped on the other end of the line. “I saw you on TV!"
Sure, the accident was all over the news channels. Some blurred out the dead body better than others did. You would bet your last cent that the unedited version got more views.
"Yeah, gruesome," you grimaced.
"Gruesome? Why? Ah, you mean the guy. Well, that happens all the time; they really give driving licences to anyone these days. I do hope the driver rots in prison for what he did to this poor young man. Anyway, no. I called to say, I saw you and Raul on the news”.
She managed to infuse an uncanny amount of innuendo into the last sentence.
“Raul is such a handsome man, Anya”, she sighed wistfully. “Quite the catch you got there, huh?”
There we go again. 
“What, way out of my league?”, you joked dryly. “I’ve been told that”.
“Oh, no, what nonsense! You are such a pretty girl!” Your mother protested. “More importantly, a good-hearted girl raised right; I am glad there still are decent men who still appreciate that. Did you meet Raul for a lunch?”
“Oh no,” You replied nonchalantly. "We actually… ah, we actually went to a church. He introduced me to his pastor."
Your mother sucked in an audible gasp like she'd won some kind of maternal lottery.
“His pastor, already? I am so happy for you, sweetie.”, she finally managed to say. “This is like a fairy tale come true”.
Yeah, a Grimm one.
“Sort of”, you chuckled. '“By the way, you will receive a bank transfer soon, ten thousand euro, don’t be afraid. It’s… well, take care of your health, okay? Get a decent dentist this time, a private one”.
“Where do you have the money from? Is it his?”, your mum suddenly sobered up. “Anya, what on earth is he paying you money for? I hope you are not doing anything… anything…”
"No," you cut her off and licked your lips, recalling the last thing that passed between them. “Mom, please! It's not his money, it's my company’s – long story.”
One that you haven't come up with yet.
Besides, if Raphael was giving you ten thousand dollars (thirty-five thousand in total with your other expenses for the day) for one blowjob, then you definitely had a successful career, just not in the field you had planned on.
“Okay,” your mum replied. “But still...you don’t need to...why don’t you buy some nice dresses instead? What on earth was that t-shirt you were wearing to a church?"
“I am hanging up”, You threatened half-heartedly.
You didn’t. You listened in the background to the story of how your mum’s school friend called her to say she saw “her Anya” with a very handsome man on the TV, nonplussed by the fact there was a scattered corpse in the background. 
In the meanwhile, you opened Google on your phone. 
You didn’t fancy doing that before - annoyed by that fake persona Raphael had created. But since he obviously put that much effort in it, it’s worth looking up what he had been up to and for how long.
Nothing good, for sure.
"…Raul D'Avergni, managing partner of an international law firm, inherited the private equity conglomerate, Avernus Capital. This transition was precipitated by the unexpected and tragic passing of his father..."
"…By December 2024, D'Avergni's high-profile liaison with Isabelle Arnaud, actress and socialite, had unceremoniously ended..."
No. Who? No. You didn’t need any ex-girlfriends.
"…Ms. Arnaud levied abuse accusations against Mr. D'Avergni…”
Oh, no…
“…she retracted her claims within a mere twenty hours and ensued a public apology for any harm inflicted upon D’Avergni’s reputation..."
Hmm.
"…her psychiatrist intervened on her behalf. Evidently, Arnaud was grappling with severe mental health issues that led her to make unfounded allegations..."
Raul likes them crazy, they said? Or makes them crazy?
"…Ms. Arnaud now resides in a high-end medical institution in Monaco, focusing on her mental health issues..."
What did Isabelle look like, you wondered, as your mum finished her talk and wished you a good day. You typed her name into the search bar, holding your breath in anticipation as you half-expected to see Hope's face staring back at you.
The woman clinging to Raphael's arm at some fancy film premiere bore no resemblance.
Your stomach sank as if it had plunged into the depths of hell.
She was exactly the type of woman Raphael should have on his elbow; a timeless beauty, but something more Renaissance like, the kind of faces humankind seemed to have stopped producing. She was in her mid-twenties, as well, but… hell, you could not hold a candle to that. Few could. 
Not even the Tavs. She resembled her namesake, Isabelle Adjani, in her youth, maybe even better.
The pictures showed her laughing and looking deeply in love while gazing up at Raphael, while he offered only a very formal smile to the camera. So not Hope then. Nothing like their story. She was in love, he wasn’t. 
Good.
Later snaps by paparazzi painted a different picture: a gaunt woman hidden behind oversized sunglasses and swallowed up by her hoodie, clutching to her coffee cup. 
With a swift click, you banished Isabelle from your screen and plunged further into Raphael's (Raul’s) life story.
You found a photo of Raphael in his twenties (yes, just like the Tumblr post you hated, and no, you wouldn't have fucked him at that age), caught up in a minor scandal in Sankt Moritz (apparently his fraternity brother had pissed on the Swiss flag), more gossip, his philanthropic affairs for local theatres and art galleries, numerous articles praising his professional achievements, and interviews with Lawyer and WSJ and the like. There was mention of a brief marriage and divorce in his early thirties, but when you tried to Google the woman's name, nothing came up.
The whole thing left a sour taste in your mouth. This was someone's real life story, not a fictional character. Raphael wasn't just some wealthy corporate jerk; he was a half-devil from Avernus, which was infinitely better and more sympathetic.
You were well aware that Raphael wasn't exactly a good guy. But he had his rules; he had to have his rules. As for the whole thing with Hope though... What exactly was she? An idea? A person? The fandom barely discussed her, and what little they did, you didn't like; all horrible takes, every single one.
The whole plot felt half-baked.
Anyway, what seeing Isabelle did motivate you to do was to take a real stroll down the city's most expensive boutique street.
Now, the first thing you bought was not because you wanted or needed anything, but because Raphael expected you to. You were not much of a materialist anyway; you were ideologically opposed to consumerism. These things were overpriced, generally not worth it and, on a larger scale, represented everything that was wrong with society.
You decided to enter a Valentino store out of curiosity, as you had never been inside one before. The saleswoman's disdainful look at your T-shirt motivates you to buy a black dress with a white collar, not necessarily because you liked it, but because you want to prove that you can afford it, despite the price tag of two thousand euros. 
Well, you liked it a little. The wool and silk blend was great to touch.
The details of the rest of the shopping trip became a bit hazy. You had your reasons; the consort of an Archdevil Supreme had to look really nice. If you couldn't be as pretty as Isabelle, you could at least dress as well as she did. So you started with some nice blouses and trousers, and a (just one) jacket. With that, you needed shoes. With shoes, of course, you needed a bag. Now that you had a bag (you closed your eyes as the price flashed at the till), you needed some jewellery (you needed to see what all the fuss about Tiffany's was about). And, of course, you needed make-up. 
At each shop, the sales assistants smiled wider and wider as you piled more and more bags onto your arms. By the seventh stop, it felt like their smiles were entering uncanny valley territory. 
Eventually, the banker would call you, right? But when exactly would that be? You tried to find out, but failed. It had to be over forty thousand.
The thought made you dizzy. In one day you had spent your entire year's salary. Now all you could do was hope that Raphael wouldn't make you work off the debt somehow. Unless it was the kind of work your mother suspected you were already doing for him.
You came out of the last shop with five bags and the feeling that you were a very shitty socialist. Since you couldn't carry any more, the shopping concierge (apparently it's a real job) offered to store the bags until your driver picked you up, and just as you were about to say which bloody driver, whom do you take me for, you remembered that you actually had one.
"Mrs Berger," the receptionist said cheerfully the moment she saw you in the door. "Nice to see you again! How can I help you? Oh, yes. The driver, of course. Yes, of course, let me put you through to Mr D'Avergni's personal assistant".
Oh, it's Mrs Berger and my pleasure? They were wondering if the rumours about you wanting the guy to be run over by a bus were already out there. The personal assistant's name was Camilla, her voice was the embodiment of professionalism, and she was the one who could take you to the driver, who was there in no time.
His name was Yuri and he was more talkative than you would have liked. Gruff, huge, way too big for the car he was driving (any vehicle known to man would be too small for him), with a deep booming voice and the face of someone who had spent half his life behind bars.
"Have you seen that poor bastard? All over the main road," he remarked as he passed the street cleaners. "Probably too busy fiddling with his phone to keep an eye out."
"Mghgm," you offered. 
"So, are we stopping by your place first, Miss Berger? Boss said you wanted to get some things first. Are you moving in?"
"Am I?" You ask, surprised by the news yourself, and then think to yourself: "Why not?”
Why the hell not.
****
You didn't waste any time. With a tidy suitcase in tow, you were out the door of your apartment before Yuri could get too bored. You packed the essentials - toothbrush, laptop, documents - and a few other things that suddenly felt crucial to your life.
Out the car window you watched the cityscape change from urban jungle to manicured suburbia and finally to a small gated community. The driver talked politics (he had exactly the kind of convictions you'd expect), then about how amazing Raul was (and how extremely open-minded he was to give an ex-con a job), before returning to politics. 
You didn't ask what crime Yuri did his time for. 
You knew it was Raphael's house the moment you saw it through the car window. Who else would live in such a place? Not a house, that's too boring a term; a villa, all intricate stonework, marble and terracotta, such a flamboyant display of wealth that it should have been taxed just to exist. 
Only a devil or a mafia don would call such grandeur home. So much, too much, theatrical to the point of grotesqueness; no real person could possibly live like this. You couldn't help but wonder if Raphael had been influenced by the films he had seen - perhaps he had developed a taste for modern cinema.
He must have liked The Godfather.
This place. The fountains, the statues (classical, Roman, as if sculpted by the ghost of Michelangelo), the gardens. You wondered how many souls it took to keep this whole thing running.
The gates opened and the car drove you into an underground car park that was already very busy and very Italian: Ferraris, Maseratis, Lamborghinis. You counted; eight. Who needed eight cars? Not even one for each day of the week. 
The lift took you up; Yuri left your shopping bags and suitcase in the foyer and said goodbye.
You'd never set foot in such a house before; the closest you'd ever come was drooling over Sotheby's property listings.
Why would anyone need all this space? For just one person? It was at least six hundred square metres; and the guest and service house looked like another two hundred. The kitchen and dining area was three times the size of your apartment.
You could play golf here.
For what it's worth, the villa didn't remind you of the House of Hope. Firstly, it was completely empty; the servants, if they were in there, managed to make themselves invisible. Second, it lacked the baroque, replaced by the dolce vita and flair of a Lake Como residence. Thirdly, there were no self-portraits, not even pictures, nothing to suggest that the man who lived here had a face, a history, let alone a family.
The first floor was devoted to entertaining guests: the kitchen, the dining room, the library, the ballroom (you guessed this kind of rooms used to be called ballrooms, he even had a piano in it). The second floor was half-locked, except for the master bedroom (the bed easily could accommodate two orthons and a cambion sandwiched between them) and the dressing room. 
There was also a basement - the entrance blocked by a number lock. You considered trying the PIN combination, but decided you didn't want to snoop down there... well, you wanted to snoop very badly, but you didn't want to face the possible consequences. Unless they resembled those in his private club.
So you roamed both floors twice before staking claim to your new sleeping quarters in the master bedroom by putting your suitcase down there. You checked everything else in the room: Raphael's bedside glasses, his choice of books (predictably, Machiavelli, but not The Prince, another book you had never heard of called Mandragola), even his dark silk pyjamas, which lay on the chaise awaiting their owner's return. You open his drawer: hand lotion, velvet sleeping mask, lubricant, two opera tickets (Götterdammerung) from about a month ago... 
Then curiosity led you to look under his bed, where he indeed had something stored: a large black storage box.
Oh, you just had to have a look. 
Just to get an idea of what’s on the evening programme.
Handcuffs, the real kind, the police kind, metal ones. The thought of all the women (and men) who might have been bound with them, as jealous as it made you feel, was titillating. A whip and a crop. Yes, that works for you. And what's this? Butt plugs? Only if they were still sealed in their original packaging (you were not into that kind of hand-me-downs) and way smaller. A chastity belt? Well, that's... intriguing, but probably not in your first month together. A hook? That can stay where it is.
At least nothing too extreme like needles or enemas or any of the other disgusting things you sometimes saw on weird porn sites.
Underneath all that, toys and accessories, lay another plain black box. Oh, a box in a box. Something was written on it.. 
GOOD EVENING CURIOUS LITTLE MOUSE
"Good evening," you said as you opened the lid.
Then promptly closed it again.
"No," you said. "No, no, no. It was just a fic I read and liked, I was very horny, but it's not really my thing. No, thank you. Just because I didn't have a father doesn't mean I have daddy issues. I don't care about the guy, he never cared about me, end of story".
You took a deep breath before opening the box again, hoping that the items inside had disappeared. 
But to your dismay, they were still there: a velvet collar adorned with "Daddy's Little Mouse" in shimmering gold thread, a headband with mouse ears, red lace cobweb-thin lingerie and a tail-butt plug (thankfully still in its original packaging and on the smaller side). The tail was furry and tipped with white, so you must have been a dormouse.
All of the toys were top quality, handmade, and incredibly vulgar. Well, no surprise, having seen what Haarlep was wearing in his house.
You closed the box shut again.
"I'd rather cook us something to eat," you suggested, getting up. "Some pasta. I bet you like pasta?"
You definitely liked pasta and hoped that Raul (Raphael, Raphael) would not have you hanged on the hooks and tortured for your very non-Italian interpretation. You hoped in vain, because he chimed in and tried to stop you from committing a crime:
"Working late. Don't bother with dinner. Take some time to relax and enjoy yourself. R".
As you descended the stairs, ignoring his text, you wondered - did he ever cook? Or was his kitchen just for show, with the real work done in the servants' quarters (do they still call them quarters?).
You forgot that question the moment you saw what was lying on the marble kitchen counter.
The same box you had left upstairs, still with 
GOOD EVENING DISOBEDIENT LITTLE MOUSE 
on it. 
You blinked and took two large steps back. 
The box seemed to crawl forward in response.
You shrieked; this was a bit too much. Raphael's presence, the supernaturality of it, had been subtle before; now it was becoming a bit performative.
"I got your hint," you said, your voice a shaky laugh. "Don't scare me, please. Please."
The box stayed where it was, but it radiated an energy of impatience, as if it might jump at you if you neglected it any longer.
“Fine,” you conceded, coming a bit closer. “A little romance would’ve been nice but…”
"Setting romantic atmosphere," a cheerful female voice said.
who the fuck who the fuck who the fuck
Alexa. 
Fucking smart home systems. The lights dimmed to a soft orange glow, the heavy curtains closed with a soft whoosh and a familiar tune echoed off the walls, the ballroom piano playing in the distance:
I put a spell on you
Because you're mine
The melody was familiar and so was the voice behind it - smooth, silky and oh so captivating (the adjectives you would use to describe it could fill many romance novels). A deep, rich baritone. You chuckled - had Raphael discovered blues? It suited him. 
You know I cannot stand it
You running around
You loved his interpretation of the song. It felt so intimate, him singing to you, so... very, very special. Your fear vanished in an instant; you poured yourself a glass of wine and took a luxurious sip.
"I'll put these on for you," you laughed, putting all the flirt you ever had in this laugh. "But don't expect me to call you 'Daddy'."
There was no protest; Raphael was too busy singing, pouring his entire soul into it. You made yourself busy too; stripping. You weren't very skilled (any skilled), but the thrill of being watched by him awakened something in you. You caught your reflection in the mirror and damn, you were hot. 
Shrugging off your shirt and sliding down your plain black briefs, you swayed your hips at your reflection as the wine worked its magic on your mind. For once in your life, you felt genuinely attractive; he made you feel genuinely attractive. The sexiest you'd ever been. 
Slipping into the silky red lace lingerie he had chosen for you (splurged on, because it was a La Perla) - you fastened the collar around your neck. A long golden chain dangled from it, wrapped twice around the hook and cascaded down your back. Then you put the mouse ears - not cartoonish, not Minnie Mouse ones, but real fur and incredibly lifelike - on your head like a headband. 
You looked like...well, precisely what your mother suspected you were doing to pay the bills. But at least high-end. Very high-end. The only thing worse than being an escort is being a cheap one.
But there was one more item left in the box.
"Ehh," you said at the sight of the mouse tail, especially the part that was meant to be inserted. "I'm going to need... I'm going to the bedroom."
It had been ages since your last foray into such play; back when you were with that boyfriend who constantly pestered you about anal and found it somehow arousing to "accidentally" (sure, mate) poke you and mumble an insincere "oops, wrong hole". 
You didn't stick around much longer after that.
Stretched out on Raphael's sumptuous bed, you slicked up everything - the plug, your pussy, your arse - with copious amounts of lube. First, some warming. So you began to rub yourself, two fingers finding their familiar way to your clit. You couldn't shake the crawling feeling of being watched, every inch of your body scrutinised by unseen eyes.
"Raphael," you called out into the empty room, desperate for some form of interaction or response. "I would love it if you would join me... or say something pleasant”.
Now would be the perfect time to call me a good girl.
But there was no response, just an eerie silence in the room. Feeling too naked and too slutty, you pulled the blanket over you, a makeshift barrier between you and his eyes. Under the fortification, tucking the tail in seemed less daunting.
Before you could get down to business, there was a jerk at the blanket, which fell to the cold floor, leaving you bare again. Then another tug on the chain attached to your collar, pulling you closer to the bedpost.
"I'm sorry," you gasped breathlessly, both hands instinctively reaching for your collar. "I won't hide."
The chain didn’t let go, making a point out of a slight pressure around your neck. Taking a deep breath, you focused on the task at hand, stroking your clit as you guided the plug inside you. 
You told yourself to relax and take it slow; just imagine it's Haarlep. How many times had you dreamed of being squeezed and stretched between the two of them? It was always Haarlep who took you from behind; it just seemed more their style.
The plug slid in deeper. It didn't hurt, and the little discomfort it caused added to the excitement. 
Damn, this is so dirty. 
"It's in," you said as the plug settled inside you. "All the way in. What's next?"
The words were barely out of your mouth when the golden chain, suddenly a snake-like lasso, wrapped tightly around your wrists.
Pulled them towards the bedpost, stretched out and bound tightly to either side. Fear gripped you and you clenched around the plug, pulling your knees tight together.
Tightly. Very tight. A little too tight. You tried to wriggle, the metal biting your skin; you could move your hips a little, but no more. 
You couldn't get out yourself, which was not good news when you were alone (well, almost) in a very big house. Your mind immediately thought of that girl in Gerald's Game.
"Raphael?" you asked. “It’s not that kind of game, is it? It’s a nice game? Can we play a nice game?”
He did not answer, but you heard footsteps. Footsteps coming down the long corridor. Confident, quick and very purposeful.
Stay calm, stay calm, it's him, it's him, who else could it be? Haarlep? The orthon? The driver? 
The door swung open.
It was Raphael, and he was visibly surprised to see you in this state, which was absolute bullshit considering he was responsible for tying you to this very bed. 
"Well, I'll be damned," he said, covering the distance to the bed in two strides. "What a welcome home surprise, piccola." 
Raphael gave you a lecherous, wet-lipped smile and knelt on the bed between your legs. There was something boyish about it, an expression you'd never seen in the game, as if he'd just found his first bike under the Christmas tree.
You searched for “piccola” earlier today: “baby” or “little girl” in Italian. 
"I'm not going to call you Daddy," you repeated, and Raphael shook his head and laughed, not seeming at all horrified at the thought (and he should be).
"I have some compelling evidence to the contrary, Daddy's little mouse," he teased, his fingers playing with your collar. 
"Anything but Daddy," you pleaded. "That's just... demeaning."
Weirdly incestual, too. You haven’t even seen the guy, not a photo, not a… (don’t think of him why the fuck would you think of the old bastard now).
“This is the whole appeal of it, is it not?”, he said. “How would you prefer to address me then?"
Raphael? Something told you that telling him that would make him very angry, and you weren't exactly in a position to want an angry man on top of you. Raul? No, that name just felt completely wrong and made you feel like you were in a Spanish soap opera. 
Raphael began to unbutton his shirt one button at a time, revealing a white undershirt, which he then took off. 
His physique was impressive for a man of his age; not those bodybuilder abs from bg3 but a well-toned body shaped by workouts and diets, which seemed to be very much at odds with his indulgent ways. Rough brown hair spread across his chest and lower abdomen against honey-tanned skin. Every inch of him seemed so put together, so perfectly groomed.
"Master," you finally decided (there was this one fanfic…) as you spread your legs wider in an invitation. 
"Master?" Raphael seemed amused, his fingers tracing the lace of your bra, teasing your hardened nipples through the fabric. "Such flattery. So this makes you my slave girl? Tied up and ready for me to use as I please?"
Reading Raphael say such things was one thing, but hearing him actually say them in real life made you feel embarrassed. It was a bit, ugh... 
“You get flustered easily for someone who waited for me dressed like this, little mouse,” Raphael raised an eyebrow at your see-through lace. “Topolina." 
He wrinkled his nose and laughed, as if the word was funnier in Italian, and poked the tips of your mouse ears. You wanted him so badly that your lips caught his as he came closer and you pushed your tongue into his mouth. He kissed your back, his hands moving up and down your body. 
"How the hell did you manage..." he mused aloud as he studied your bound wrists.
His fingers ventured between your legs, and the moment he stumbled upon your tail, his whole body twitched with excitement, his breath catching in his throat as he traced the soft fur to reach the base of the plug. 
The playful gleam in his eyes was replaced by an intense, wild desire.
"Merda," he breathed out. "Look at that. Aren't you a dirty little girl?"
You cringed at how pornographic the line sounded (his suddenly much thicker Italian accent didn't help), but Raphael seemed to find it excruciatingly erotic.
In one swift motion, he lunged forward and forced your legs apart, his hands pulling your knees towards your chest, folding you in until your muscles screamed in protest at the stretch. 
Without warning, he thrust deep inside of you. You gasped in surprise; no preliminaries, no foreplay, no taking it slowly, just raging, explosive lust.
Fortunately, your own fingers had done their job earlier, so despite the brutal force of his first thrust, pleasure surged through you, along with a sharp twinge of friction as his cock rubbed against the toy lodged inside you.
He seemed to relish the sensation and so did you. 
Your eyes fluttered shut as your body arched beneath him; stretched and pinned by his weight, trapped, surrendering to the relentless pounding that followed - raw and invasive and yet so fulfilling.
You were so looking forward to coming again from his penetration alone. The mere thought made you pull harder on your restraints, craving the delicious pain of being bound. The furry tail must have tickled his balls because he tucked it under you so that it would tease you instead. 
"Cross your ankles behind my back," Raphael rasped into your shoulder as he grazed it with his stubbled chin. "Yes, just like that... now tilt your hips."
You responded with your most submissive “yes, master”, making his cock twitch inside you, and then sifted your hips to better accommodate his pleasure. Wrapped your legs tightly around him, pulling him in deeper, pain-pleasure soaring through you. You sniffed his hair. 
His cologne (worn leather, cherry liqueur, bitter almonds) smelled so good oh so good.
He slid his arms underneath your arse, lifting you towards him at every thrust. 
Raphael said few words after that, grunting and thrusting and thrusting. Something about him was different this time - something very human - from how his sweat-soaked hair stuck to his forehead to his expressions of sheer lust that bordered on comical at times. 
One thing remained the same - the pleasure his pounding brought you, the familiar hooks of approaching orgasm - not any orgasm, the orgasm of being with him, his sharp talons - sinking inches deep into your flesh again. 
fuck does he feel good
rough or tender it just feels so good
his cock his tongue his breath on your neck
You screamed "fuck me", then once again, louder, not caring how obscene you sounded, and bit his shoulder without a second thought. 
The scream that escaped you was higher pitched than you had intended.
do whatever whatever you want whatever you want with me
Raphael's face creased with annoyance as his strong finger pressed into your cheek. "Easy…easy… piccola... I appreciate…. a good performance… not …overacting," he scolded as he went at you harder, pushing you to the point of pain.
hurt me
fuck me fuck me harder
You would have protested at the implication that you were pretending, but you were too busy coming under him, his hand clamped over your mouth before your temporal insanity could drive you to actually call him ‘daddy’.
If he wanted you to why wouldn’t you he is so sweet to you oh so sweet to you
The scream was swallowed by his palm as an orgasm, brutal in its intensity and lightning-fast, ripped through you, whip-snaked it. You greeted your release with a wail, biting into his hand. Raphael paused mid-thrust, apprehensive of how your pussy convulsed around him and your leg spasmed uncontrollably - if this was a performance, you deserved an award.
"You weren't pretending," he panted, awe-struck. "My apologies. You were not".
The realisation frenzied him; he spilled within a minute after, rutting into you with intensity belying his age. Utterly spent, he collapsed on top of you, his breath, cherries and tobacco, warming your throat as his cock softened within you.
"I may have gotten a little carried away," he said, sounding embarrassed and slightly apologetic as he lay down beside you. "But it seems you're more than content."
You eagerly and quickly nodded.
"Are you that... passionate with every man?" He asked as he helped you free your wrists - jealousy creeping into his voice at the mention of that mysterious 'every man'.
You couldn't help but laugh at the question. "No," you replied. "Far from it. You are not just any man. You are anything but."
Raphael let out a sigh of relief and kissed you, making no effort to hide how much your compliment pleased him. 
When you parted, you hopped awkwardly off the bed - the odd gait one adopts when they have a plug in them (no way were you going to remove it in his presence, no way) and cum was trickling down your thighs. 
Shit, the condom. Now you forgot to ask him to wear it.
Would he have?..
Ah, screw it. Google says Plan B is effective for up to 72 hours after unprotected sex, so you'll take it tomorrow - for tonight and last night. You'd never been this careless before, but hell, you'd never murdered people with a mere thought or slept with an Archdevil of Hell.
Raphael was still lying there, basking in the afterglow, when you returned.
"I have to admit, Anya... I'm seriously thinking of proposing," he murmured with such tenderness as you snuggled against him that you wondered if Raphael really was incapable of love.
"That would be quick," you replied, but made it sound like you wouldn't mind at all.
"Quick?" he scoffed. "A man knows what he wants in a woman the moment he sets eyes on her. Unfortunately, there are very few left in your generation."
You smiled, already dreaming of being the Archduchess of Hell, and half-dreaming in general from sheer exhaustion and satisfaction. 
"They lied about you being bad in bed," you murmured as sleep began to take over. "I knew it was all bullshit."
"They?" He asked, his face contorting into a scowl at your sentence. "Who are they? Anya, for God's sake, stop reading those trashy tabloids."
You closed your eyes for a moment. When you half-opened them, you saw him on the balcony outside, in a black silk robe, AirPods in his ears and a cigarette in his mouth. Behind him you could see the smoke and fire of the Avernus mountain ridge, the fireballs cascading down from the sky. Beautiful. 
Raphael gestured with his free hand, aggressively, and you listened a little closer; fortunately he was more than loud.
"...we will bleed them dry if they dare to break our agreement..."
"...they knowingly and willingly accepted our terms, they will choke on the consequences..."
"...all must pay their dues, sooner or later..."
"...an army? We have our own army..."
A yawn escaped your lips as you snuggled deeper into the plush pillows of the massive bed. Everything, except the AirPods, fit perfectly into the image of Archdevil Supreme.
You felt so chosen, so alive, so gloriously alive, and your life had just begun.
"Are you coming soon?" you called out as you tried to think of an appropriate nickname for him - something intimate, but not too cheesy. Darling? Baby? Sweetheart? Love? My favourite devil?
But he beat you to it before you could decide.
"Soon, my love. Rest," he blew you a kiss. With a loud click, he shut the glass door and cut you off from hearing the rest of their conversation. You let out a contented sigh and rolled over onto your side, drifting into a peaceful slumber.
"My love," you said in your sleep. "Raphael called me his love”.
****
The urgent need to go to pee woke you. The time was a mystery, but it must have been late enough for Raphael to have gone to bed too.
He was pressed close to you, his hand cupping your breast. You looked over your shoulder; asleep, peaceful, in buttoned pyjamas, and it was the one moment when he did not look threatening at all; vulnerable, if anything. You kissed him on the cheek and he smiled in his sleep and held you close. 
When you came back from your short (not really, a good thirty metres to the toilet) trip to the bathroom, you snuggled closer to him, preparing to doze off again, and then you heard something.
You listened closer, thinking you had dreamed it first.
Soft, gentle whimpers. You recognised the voice. You didn't know how, but you did. Something childishly cheerful and slightly mad about it.
Oh, no. No. You were happy, spooning with Raphael, and you didn't need this shit right now, especially when things were finally going so well.
Hope, please, you begged.
You got all your happy endings, so many of them, wonderful endings where Raphael was killed by the player and you got to live and your revenge and whatnot. Can I have one too, please? Without you whining and making me feel guilty for something I didn't even do?
"My love," you asked Raphael softly, your fingers tracing idle patterns on his side. "Can you let her go?"
"Mmm," Raphael murmured in his sleep, "Sure, piccola. Whatever you wish for."
You waited for him to act, but he only tightened his grip on the blanket and shifted slightly.
"You have all the hells and the crown and everything (and me). You don't need her anymore," you tried again. 
"Anya, let me sleep," Raphael mumbled into his pillow, away from your voice. You tried to hide from her voice under your pillow as well, but you could still hear the soft, painful moans. 
Ugh. 
They were very, very far away, but still there.
"She's still wailing," you complained, taking him by the shoulder and shaking him a little. "Raphael? Raphael?"
 "Who is wailing?” he groaned in pure frustration, and then made a half-hearted attempt at listening. “Ah, merda, not that bloody bitch again! I swear, I will plug that hole myself!"
You tried to make sense of that sentence and couldn't, but what you did get was that it promised Hope nothing good and sounded vaguely vulgar, which was even worse. 
"Don't hurt Hope," you begged, appalled by his threat. "She doesn't deserve it!"
"I don't deserve it either," Raphael retorted before turning away from you. "Please be quiet."
He should direct this request to his prisoner. 
What had really happened between them? You didn't think his obsession with Hope was sexual because, well, because, for example, he fucked you and you both enjoyed it, so he was definitely into consent, and Hope was more like a metaphor, a concept, a point to be made, and some shitty fucking rushed Act 3 writing.
"You... you didn't hurt her like that, did you? There was some talk... With that boudoir line... It was misinterpreted... right?"
Right. He may be evil, but he is lawful evil. He believed in consent and seduction, not violence. 
"I haven't hurt anyone, what in damnation are you talking about?" he growled through gritted teeth, and you let out a small sigh of relief.  "But if I don't get some rest, I might."
He hadn't hurt Hope. He wouldn't lie. He cannot; devils can deceive, but not outright lie. You read it somewhere.
Okay, he's not going to let her go and he's not going to help you and Hope was certainly not going to shut up. You have to go to her. And say what? Say what? Sorry for your predicament and the centuries of torture, Hope, but could you please be a bit quieter, me and Raphael just had sex and are trying to sleep? 
Let her go? And lose his favour, his credit card and the place next to him in his bed?
Yes, come on. It would be the right thing to do and you would do it. 
Where was she anyway, you wondered as you walked down the stairs. In the cellar? Hanging from the ceiling? You still don't have the key to the cellar. When you reached the ground floor, the kitchen, you realised that the noises were not coming from the cellar - they were coming from outside.
Outside? Did he hang her on a tree on this cold April night? 
You put on his trench coat and slipped into your sneakers. This was so unnecessarily evil, you thought, suddenly feeling much less happy about everything, especially as the pained whimpering got closer. Hardly human, you thought, more like a creature trapped and desperately trying to free itself. 
Yes, definitely more of a creature.
In fact, it reminded you of a dog. You searched the darkness of the night, determined to find it, and there it was: a dachshund wedged between the ground and a large, weathered fence, whimpering into the still night. 
The poor thing must have thought it was quite the burglar, trying to burrow under a hole in the fence to pull through. But it only managed to get itself stuck.
"Oh, poor baby," you said as you approached the dog. "Let's see if we can get you out."
You pulled on the fence to widen the opening and the cub was free.
It licked your hand in gratitude. Dogs love you. All animals do, and it's quite mutual. You had a harder time with people.
There were distant, panicked cries for Steffie somewhere in the distance; the owner was out on a rescue mission. You took the dachshund in your lap and went to meet her.
The woman was in her sixties, dark brown hair, a very aged beauty, and she looked a bit funny in her fur coat and slippers. She had tears in her eyes. Steffie ran to her as soon as she saw her.
"You silly little girl," she scolded the whining, complaining dog in her arms. She had a thick American drawl. "Why do you keep going back to his house? What's so special about him? I told you he was bad news!"
"Is he?" You asked the question when you knew the answer.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she stammered, forcing a smile to her lips. "I didn't mean it like that. You're Raul's new girl, aren't you? Samantha. I live down the road. Sorry about Steffie, she's very... adventurous."
There were exactly three houses on the street, a mile apart each.
"You meant it like that," you said. "If it's about Isabelle, she's apologised and withdrawn her accusations".
There was a pause, and Samantha's perfectly friendly smile cracked a little.
"Well, in that case," she said, before adding with forced cheerfulness, "thank you for looking after Steffie, sweetheart! You take care now."
She tried to walk away, but turned back; she was as curious as her little dog.
"I was walking Steffie when that French girl ran out of his house," she said, unable to resist the urge to gossip. "She was naked and babbling like a lunatic. She had blood on her, too".
"Did she scream something about the devil?" you asked after a pause.
"Devil? No. Not that I speak French," said the woman, making a last attempt to walk away, but failing. "Listen, I have a daughter about your age. And if some guy - ANY guy - tried to put that kind of crap around her neck, I would chop his arms off".
What did she mean? 
The collar. 
She meant the "Daddy's little mouse" collar you still have around your neck. 
Oh, don't kink shame me, you were going to say, but that kind of talk sounds ridiculous in real life. She managed to shame you very badly, so you hid the collar under your trench coat and mumbled, "I put it on myself".
That actually made her look at you again. Steffie looked at you with the same expression. 
Everybody's out to guilt trip you - Hope, the dog (the dog you saved!), the neighbour, the guy who got thrown under the bus, and you've done nothing but enjoy some devil sex.
The woman finally decided it was time to go, muttering "You need Jesus, sweetheart" before she left.
That's your God who kept women in collars and on leashes for centuries, not the Devil, you thought bitterly, and unlike the Devil, he didn't even fuck them. 
Well, only once.
***
You were back in the en-suite bathroom, washing your face in the marble sink.
Who the fuck was this man, really? What the fuck was happening? 
Your hand shot out, yanking open a cabinet door. An array of men's grooming products stared back at you - cologne, razor, facial moisturiser and scrub, deodorant, shaving gel, sleek, expensive bottles. A man took care of his looks.
Another cabinet creaked open under your touch. 
Your eyes darted to the label on the bottle - Risperidon. You had no idea what it was, but you memorised it for a future Google search, repeating it under your breath like a mantra. 
"Are you rummaging through my belongings, nosy little mouse?”
He was dead asleep last time you checked!
You jerked, closing the cupboard and stumbling back to the bathroom sink, gasping for breath. "No," you stammered, turning to find him standing in the doorway. "I mean... yes. I can't sleep. I thought you might have some pills."
His eyes were canny; he didn't swallow your lie and made no pretence of doing so. He bridged the gap and hugged you from behind - frighteningly strong and wanting every ounce of that power to seep into your bones. His strength made you realise just how much of a level 1 human NPC you were.
"You don't have to violate my privacy when I'm not around, Anya," he whispered against your skin as he began to trail soft kisses down your neck. "If there's anything that's bothering you, just ask me directly. I want us to be honest with each other."
What was in the cellar? What kind of work does he do for you? Did he rape Hope? Or was it Haarlep? Where is Haarlep, by the way? Why does Raphael want to play Raul? 
"What happened to Isabelle?" you asked. 
"Ah, I see. Is that why you asked me if I had hurt anyone?" he said. "Is that what the tabloids told you?"
You nodded.
"Isabelle had an addiction," he admitted, the crow’s feet showing themselves. "It spiralled out of control. She had… a bout of psychosis, a mental breakdown. Made false accusations to the press. She's now getting the help she needs, poor girl”.
"Why was she covered in blood?" you pressed, looking at his reflection in the mirror as an infernal light danced in his orange eyes.
For all the fire in them, they seemed icy, impossibly cold for a man who had called you my love less than an hour ago. "How did you come by this information? You seem to know more than one would expect of you, Anya. There are things about you that make me... wonder. I have been giving you the benefit of the doubt, perhaps foolishly."
Your breath caught in your throat. “The neighbour”, you said. “Your neighbour told me”.
The truth you’d spilled slaked him, but only a little. He looked at you, jaw hardened.
"Samantha? I’ll have a word with her. Very well, we were making love when Isabelle had a psychotic episode."
Making love? Really? He did not make love to you.
"She lashed out at me," he continued. "It was my blood, Anya. I would never hurt her or any other woman. Without their consent, that is."
But that couldn't be true, because there was Hope - and many others who owed him, and Raphael might have been many things, but not a liar, and yet here he was, lying right to your face.
He did hurt people. Whether they deserved it, whether they brought onto themselves, that was a different matter, but he did hurt them.
"If you need proof, you can take a look at the psychiatrist's report," he offered coldly. "The authorities got involved... unfortunately."
"I believe you," came your shaky reply. 
You desperately wanted to. 
Raphael’s eyes flickered.
"Trust goes both ways, Anya," he whispered in your ear, running a finger along your collar. "If you do not trust me, then I will be forced to ask some very unpleasant questions myself. Do we understand each other?"
Which questions? He knows everything there is to know about you. He knows your browser history.
“We do”, you said, still looking in the mirror. “Of course we do, my love”.
"Is that so?” he smiled. "I suggest we go to our bed and put that theory to the test."
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it’s nice to have a friend (pt. 1)
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Pairing: Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk) x GN!Reader
Type: Mini Fic - Fluff-ish??
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: Cursing, maybe a little bit ooc Hobie since it’s been months, a few halfhearted attempts at his accent and then I just gave up whoops
A/N: wrote this while having the worst cramps of my life last month and only finished it now 👍 idk I just felt like cussing out the world at that point so that might explain the excessive swearing 😭
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Tap tap tap.
You were just about dropping off to sleep when you heard those light knocks on the window. Probably just a clumsy bird.
Tap tap tap tap.
The knocks grew more insistent, more familiar - a pattern of sorts. You heaved a long, mildly annoyed sigh and got up to open the window.
It was not, in fact, an annoying pigeon. It was Spider-Punk in the flesh. Or as you knew him, your absolute dumbass of a best friend.
“It’s 3am in the fucking morning,” You waved your hand at the pitch-darkness outside, giving him the most formidable glare you could muster. “What do you want?”
“Hello, sunshine!” Hobie hopped inside, pulled off his mask, and gave you a completely unfazed grin. “Nice to see you too. Stop glaring at me! What, I can’t see my best friend whenever I want?”
“It is 3am in the fucking morning,” You repeated, pointing helpfully at the clock on your bedside table, though you had to press your lips together to squash a smile. Good grief, did his little cross between a smirk and a smile have to be so contagious?
“But I can’t sleep, and clearly you can’t sleep, and I missed you, so let’s go!”
“You saw me barely six hours ago,” You deadpanned, already pulling yourself to your feet and grabbing your coat from where it lay thrown across the the bedside table. “Drama queen.”
“Me? A drama queen? Nah, I’ll show you drama.” He flopped melodramatically onto the floor, grabbing your ankle and pretending to die. He looked ridiculous, like a lanky stick-bug-fish hybrid that crawled onto land and starting flapping about.
“Hobie, get up!” You gave a little huff, reaching a hand down to yank him upwards. “Okay, fine, let’s go wherever it is you want to go.”
“Yay! Can we go to the roof?”
“Sure, we can take the fire esca- HOBIE WHAT THE FUCK NOT AGAIN!” Before you could even take a step towards your bedroom door, he had grabbed you around the middle and leaped out the window. Your stomach dropped as he let you both plummet almost to the ground before shooting a web to the railing that ran the length of the roof and extended a little bit over. You both shot up like a rocket and he angled you in such a way that your landing would be much gentler than his.
“The next time you do that I’m going to throw up on you,” You warned him once you got the air back in your lungs (after a little bit of wheezing).
“That’s what you said last time. Besides, ‘s like a free amusement park ride! Honestly, I’m so generous, you don’t even have to pay,” He chuckled softly, brushing past you to sit at the edge of the roof.
“Sometimes I don’t even know why I put up with you,” You muttered, carefully navigating around the looser tiles on the roof to go and sit next to him.
The atmosphere was silent, not peaceful exactly but just still for the moment. Factories in the distance were still chugging out thick smog that floated up to join the suffocating clumps in slowly strangling the city. The alleyways were dark save for a few slivers of moonlight that managed to cut through the pitch-blackness of the backstreets.
Perfect time for a philosophical conversation, right?
“Do you ever wish that that spider hadn’t bitten you?”
Hobie looked at you in surprise, his eyebrows raising slightly. He looked back over the city, leaning back on his palms. “Well… sometimes. What I mean is… sometimes I just wish I didn’t have to do this, y’know? But it’s better me than some pig. One of those bastards as Spider-Man would be a fuckin’ nightmare. For everyone who sees through Osborn’s bullshit.”
You nodded, satisfied with his answer. Truth be told, you didn’t understand much of what he said - it was 3am, it had been a long day, and the words just didn’t register in your tired brain. You closed your eyes for a few minutes, leaning on Hobie. It wasn’t very comfortable, since not only did you have to avoid impaling yourself on the small spikes on his vest, but his shoulder was also pretty bony under the fabric.
“Tired?” He turned his head to look down at you, eyes soft and sweet and filled with something you couldn’t quite put a name to right now, perhaps because of the state of your consciousness.
You rolled your eyes, having still not fully pushed away the remaining traces of grumpiness that lingered from your rude awakening. “Thanks to the dumbass who woke me up at some unholy hour.”
“Come on, you know you wouldn’t have slept anyway. At least this way you have some company.”
You opened your mouth to say something back but slowly shut it upon realising that he was right. Absolutely insufferable.
You just snorted and closed your eyes, savouring the moment as best as you can. You loved quiet moments like these, where you could ask anything and get an honest answer instead of having to mince your words — maybe you liked them more than you should, but it was fairly harmless, right?
Marriage could end in divorce, couples could break up, and young love really wasn’t a constant. You couldn’t expect something so intoxicating to retain its magic against the test of time.
So it was better to take that fierce rush of whatever it was that you were feeling and label it as platonic love. Because strong platonic love, when it was returned, was benign and beautiful and all-encompassing, all at once.
“Oi, don’t fall asleep here. Still with me?”
You felt a light touch of ridiculously cold fingers against your forehead and jolted fully awake.
“Asshole,” You complained, batting away his ice blocks for hands. “Have you been sitting and stewing in a fridge for a few hours?”
Hobie snickered at your annoyed frown and chose that moment to break into a grin, reaching into his pockets. “Oh, that reminds me, I made us matching bracelets!”
He held out two bracelets, ridiculously tiny in comparison to his fingers. They were both composed of random beads, staples, half-broken bottle caps and bits of coloured string threaded onto a loop of fishing twine. The loud, mismatched colours practically vibrated off of them in shockwaves like some sort of sonic boom of Hobie-ness.
In short, they were absolutely perfect. There was nothing that he could’ve given you that would remind you more of him. All sleepiness was momentarily forgotten as you took one of them, holding it up to examine it in whatever moonlight managed to cut through the clouds.
You gave him a smile, slipping it onto your wrist carefully. “It’s beautiful, Hobes. Thank you.”
“Ah, we’re back with the nicknames! There it is! Good to know I didn’t actually make a mistake waking you up.” His tone was lighthearted and teasing, but his smile had turned into one of affection as he watched your reaction to his gift.
There it was again. You’d seen it a few times recently, and it had been silently eating at you no matter how much you tried to dismiss it as simple friendship.
Nothing more than a tiny little flash of that puzzling something in his eyes, but something that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and not just in a way that someone would feel about their best friend. Something that gave you the courage to finally break free from the voice in your head whispering about everything that could go wrong — although that might have been because of your horrendous lack of sleep and the tiredness that was tinging each of your thoughts with just a little bit of delirium.
Screw keeping it platonic.
“Hobie,” You began, and something in your tone must have sounded different because he trained his eyes on you, his head cocking to the side slightly. You faltered slightly, trying to think of something to say. But before you could find a way to put your exhausted, confused mess of thoughts into words properly, he winced and his face scrunched up in the way it always did whenever his spider-sense went off.
“I’m sorry, I gotta…” Hobie gestured vaguely down at the alleyways, an apology practically written on his face. You nodded, ignoring the hollow pit of disappointment forming in your stomach.
“Yeah, you should go. I’ll… see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” He agreed, already fishing through his vest pockets and digging out his mask. He paused to give you a cheeky grin before slipping the fabric over his face. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick a more pleasant time to drop in.”
“That’s what you said last time!” You called after him as he leaped off the building, disappearing down into the roads winding around, into and throughout the city. You stayed where you were, hugging your knees to your chest as you stared at the ever-shifting skyline. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course something came up right as you had finally mustered up the courage to say something… and yet, it felt as though he was almost expecting it. Like he wanted you to say it.
You scoffed at the absurdity of your train of thought, looping around and around hopefully like a broken clockwork toy. All wishful thinking, perhaps? Then again, maybe not. You pushed yourself to your feet, pushing open the fire escape and beginning to make your way back to your apartment. You almost missed the terrifying rush of adrenaline that accompanied one of Hobie’s daredevil manoeuvres in and out of windows on the fifth floors of buildings. Almost.
You got into bed again and switched off the light, pausing to look out of the still-open window. Oh, well...
You moved to close it, pulling down the pane of glass and latching it at the bottom.
Maybe next time.
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@hobiebrownismygod @l0starl @therealloopylupin2099 (not sure if i’m missing anybody else, it’s been a while 😭)
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depresssant · 2 days
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'geto would burn in the fiery sea of hell if it meant only he would be the one thing your heart-stopping eyes could see'
warning!!!! : yandere is a warning in itself 💀, yandere!geto, unrequited love, kidnapping extremely suggestive themes, idk what else 😭
also reposted bc i accidenly deleted the first one 😬
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to say that geto suguru was helpless was an understatement.
he was at a lost, and it felt like the entire world was against him. so many conflicting thoughts battled with him day by day, and time came to a stop the second he watched that bullet go through riko's head. that helpless feeling of not being able to save what was dear to you... to be able to not do anything except for watch as something slipped out of his grasp⏤he felt like it was happening all over again.
dark thoughts⏤ones that only you seemed to get rid of⏤dropping him over the edge plagued him like a disease with every twist and turn. these were the dark thoughts that only you washed away with your warm touch and loving smile.
but now?
now you were cold and hostile.
all because of a damn rejection.
geto knew his decade long friendship with you would never be the same after that fateful night you confessed to him. that night⏤just a week and a half after riko's death. he had rejected you. geto was scared. what if you died just like riko? you were a sorcerer with threats that had you walking across the line of life and death. what if you, too, withered from his grasp? 
but he supposed you already did.
bit by bit, you had started to ignore him. you were clearly distancing yourself. you knew he was going through internal struggles, and while you once would've been there right by his side, you weren't this time. you just... stop talking to him, acting like he was the plague, and a single look would kill you.
it killed him.
it killed geto to see you hurting because of him, and it hurt even more that he wasn't able to help. the raven haired man was bitter and angry at the time. he should've understood that you were just trying to give him space after realizing your confession wasn't thrown in at the best time. you were trying to help him in the best way possible while hurting yourself, and he was too fucking stupid to realize it.
geto had stormed into your dorm for an explanation as to why you were ignoring him. the worst fight of his life occurred that very night where you told him you never wanted to see him again. so he had granted you your wish.
thinking back at it, both of you were hurting. riko's death and the following had affected you just as much as it had affected geto, but he was too selfish to realize he wasn't alone. he was too conceited to realize that even when keeping your distance from him, you were still there for him. he was just too proud to reach out.
...
well... that would never happen again.
he furrowed his brows but he said nothing as he watched you struggle against the chains with a look of panic on your beautiful, beautiful, face. geto had plenty of time to reflect on his behavior⏤to sort through his feelings and plan, and now you were finally back in his arms.
with a sigh of relief, said arms pulled you into a suffocating hug. he held you so tightly he felt like his arms would cramp up, but that didn't matter. all he wanted to do was just crawl into your skin, become one with you, so you two would never apart again. he wanted to kiss those pretty lips of yours until his own became bruised and swollen. he wanted to hold you like this for the rest of eternity because the sound of your heartbeat was the best type of music he had ever listened to.
this was wrong, some part in him screamed. holding you captive like this just for himself was immoral and evil, but... all for himself? geto would burn in the fiery sea of hell if it meant only he would be the one thing your heart-stopping eyes could see. those eyes... those eyes pulled him in like a moth to a flame, turning him into a person he never thought he'd become. but perhaps that was one of the million things he loved about you.
"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" you hissed, pressed up against him, and geto felt completed. "you're insane! how the hell do you... do you⏤"
"i love you."
his hands were all over your body frantically, leaving a blazing trail of fire in every place that he caressed, and it was like he was trying to become one with you.
"... geto... what is this? why are you doing this?"
lavender eyes as alluring as a violent ocean rested on yours. "it's a form of acceptance. your confession? darling, i accept your love. i want your love... i need it."
"that was in high school! it was just a silly crush!" your brows furrowed in anger at first, but your expression crumbled. a face that you once adored now looked down at you with stinging eyes, fangs out and all. 
"don't lie to me." geto grabbed a hold of your inner thighs, pushing you down onto the bed and nuzzling into your neck as if he would die if he didn't. you'd be lying if you said that you didn't like it. it was something you had been waiting for, for a very long time.
"we're meant for each other. you just need a little help understanding it."
his hold you was like a snake wrapping around its prey, constricting like a suffocating pillow until said prey finally fell limp. you were the prey and geto was the snake.. and, well...
he was threatening to swallow you whole.
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petew21-blog · 13 hours
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Being Chris Halliwell
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Leo recently couldn't stand Chris being in the house. Being in the present time and not the future. He asked the elders to send him back to the future. His contributions to the Charmed one were big, but as a whitelighter he didn't do much work to be honest.
Leo orbed into the attick to find Pheobe that now become a genie. A funny view but nothing out of the ordinary in this house.
Leo: "Chris, it's time to go home. The elders decided. You're going back to the future"
Chris:"Why are you always trying to get me out of the picture? Could you just give me some time without your nagging and trying to get rid of me?"
Leo:"it's time to go Chris, don't fight it."
Chris:"Ijust wish that whatever deal you have with me, you'd get over it"
Phoebe nodded and fulfilled the wish. Maybe bot exactly as it sounded. You know genies
Leo suddenly didn't feel angry with Chris. He had the need to apologize to him. To make it up to him somehow. Actually Chris was the best person that Leo knew. He had to make it up to him
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"Chris I am so sorry for my recent behaviour. Of course I want you to stay. It were just repressed feelings. I would never let you leave. Come here. Let's hug it out"
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Chris:"Leo? Are you ok?"
Leo:"Never better actually. I just realised what an amazing person you are and how we all should be like you more. Starting with me"
Phoebe:"It's the wish, Chris. You have to wish for him to be like before. He is like mindless version of Leo now."
Chris:"You know what? I don't and I won't. Leo is nice to me now for a change. Why should I change that? I think I'll keep him like this. You know what Leo? I really think You should try to be more like me. Just as you said"
Leo:"Of course. You are the most amazing person on the planet."
Chris:"Right. Ok, Pheobe. We got some stuff to sort out. We'll leave Leo do what he need to do."
Chris and Pheobe orbed out
Leo now had to find the best way to become Chris. They were both whitelighters so that was a plus. He went to his room and put on Chris's clothes and looked in the mirror.
"Hmm. Not bad but I still look like me, not like Chris."
Leo decided to put glamour on himself. Changing into the most beautiful and ideal man he knew. Into Chris
"I look amazing! I am Chris's exact copy. I am perfect. I look exactly like Chris. Not exactly. I am Chris. I am not Leo anymore"
The new Chris now roams around the house. Heading a noise from Pipers bedroom he enters. Seeing her with some guy.
Piper:"Jesus Chris, what are you doing here. Leave!"
Chris:"Sorry to disturb you, but I can't help but notice you two are really into each other. That's not right"
Piper:"Chris, leave. I don't know what has gone over you, but you can't do this. Where is Leo?"
Chris:"Leo doesn't exist anymore. I am Chris now. And don't worry. You will feel differently very soon"
Piper froze Chris and her lover, calling the real Chris
Real Chris:"What is going on?"
Piper:"Just turn around and you'll understand"
Chris turns around to see his exact copy. "Who is this?"
Piper:"Well, Leo apparently. Based on what he was saying. Do you know how this happened?"
Chris feeling slightly guilty decided to lie to Piper:"I have no idea"
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Piper:"Well he is obssessed with you right now. So you should sort this out. I have plans" unfreezing the two and getting back to sex with her love
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Chris:"Leo, you need to tell me why you did this"
Leo/Chris:"I just want to be you. Because you're the most amazing person I know. I want to be called Chris just like you."
Chris:"There are other ways how to appreciate someone. Not to become them and try to ruin their life"
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Leo/Chris:"I already said I was sorry"
Chris:"Ok, I have an idea. You wait here, while I go get the book of shadows. You'll change back into yourself and we'll find another way how you can appreciate me. Ok?"
Leo nodded ans waited on the couch. But although he wanted to be more and more like Chris, he couldn't agree with him. Leo orbed out to get the Elders. He needs to start persuading someone. Why not the ones who are in charge of all whitelighters.
Chris got back to the empty living room beginning his quest in finding Leo
Several hours later he went to get the elders help. But was surprised to see himself multiplied in the robes of the elders. They all now looked like him.
Except for one.
Chris backs away from the elders, all looking uncannily similar to him. He looks for Leo, the elder he noticed this with first.
"Leo, something's wrong. This new admiration you have for me isn't natural. It somehow reached the other elders."
By now the others had surrounded Chris and the one who had been Leo joined them.
"The only thing wrong here is that you still call me Leo. I've told you, your name is much better. I want to be called Chris from now on."
Chris tried to orb out, but found that the elders blocked him.
"Leo, please you have to listen to me!"
"Don't fight it Chris. You're one of us now. We're all going to be Chris"
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The Elders and Leo swarmed around him
That was the last moment when Chris's mind felt free. He was now one of the Many Chris. He felt powerful, He needed everyone to know what it feels like to be Chris
They all did have this common goal now. To make the world understand who Chris is. The world had to BECOME CHRIS. Everyone will
An inbox request from an anonymous profile, who acutally wrote quite a big chunk of the story to my messages and just wanted me to continue :)
If you want me to write a story inspired by your ideas, send me a message to inbox and I'll try to get to it. It may take some time, but I'll keep posting them :)
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storm-of-feathers · 2 years
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canisalbus · 5 months
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sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful
.
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sciderman · 5 months
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You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.
But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?
because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)
#I don’t know. I don’t think peter is good boyfriend material. I think his insecurities would get exhausting.#Wade has bottomless patience. me… I don’t know. I don’t think I could. I’ve got my own stuff going on. I don’t want a Project.#peter is definitely a project. and he needs someone with shed loads of patience and perseverance.#me I just. I wanna have a good time. so. come to me my big beautiful time traveller. whisk me away.#take me to the beach. you can disappear after I don’t mind I’m not needy. just spend a beautiful romantic week with me.#sci speaks#I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually.#all my relationships have been. pretty short.#and I don’t think it’s any fault of my own really. and I don’t feel any loss over them at all. like at all. I wish I did. but I don’t.#a sci has so very thankfully never felt heartbreak.#but it makes me kind of question what kind of person I am when it comes to this sort of thing.#because I really don’t know.#I don’t know if I want commitment. I don’t even know if I want sex these days.#I … weirdly… am so devoid of yearning these days. like I feel content right now on my own. I don’t even feel lonely.#I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time.#and that doesn’t even . involve a relationship or anything anymore. like I don’t think I want one actually. it feels like I’m Over it.#it’s kind of great because I’ve never felt so calm in a long time. all because I decided that I don’t. actually Need anything.#I don’t need anything more than what I have. and that’s brought me rest after So Long being restless.#but if a massive time traveller came and whisked me away on sexy adventures how could I say no
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s0fter-sin · 1 year
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general society is such an underthought aspect of mha. obviously there’s the big things like the obsession over heroic quirks and the demonisation of villainous quirks. quirkless people are dismissed entirely but i don’t think we talk about how society in general would have to handle a world with super powers.
we know after afo’s first uprising, the government overcorrected and outlawed public quirk usage. we know people have their quirks registered and go through quirk counselling as well as a type of gym class where they practice under teacher supervision.
how in the hell is that supposed to work?
the closest equivalent i can think of is mental health services. someone would have to study for a long time to be able to pursue quirk counselling as a career. it’s also a highly personalised system: everyone has a different quirk - even similar ones have different activations, triggers, exceptions and drawbacks - so no two sessions could ever be the same. if anyone’s been through mental health services, you know how rough it is; it’s an overworked, underpaid system and if you live somewhere that only offers a few free visits, it can also be expensive.
and that’s an elective service.
almost everyone on the planet would need quirk counselling.
there’s no way they could implement such a labour intensive and individual public system and we literally see that they can’t.
we see the gym class in amajiki’s flashback and he only has a few minutes with his teacher before he’s chided for not being more impressive and utilising his quirk to the fullest and they move on to the next student. say a standard class is twenty students like it is at ua. that leaves just over two minutes for each student to learn and practice their quirks. you can’t focus on just one kid per lesson bc what will the other nineteen do? do teachers also have to have a degree in quirk counselling? is that part of becoming a phys ed teacher or is it some random joe schmo trying to wrap his head around literal super powers?
given that inko goes to garaki - a doctor - to confirm izuku’s quirklessness, it can be assumed that quirk counselling is entwined with the medical system. i don’t know if you’ve ever had to apply for a specialist before but you can be on their waiting list for a while. a quirk counsellor is essentially a specialist. are there subcategories of counsellors? do you focus on either emitter, transformation or mutation the way doctors become cardiologists, paediatricians and neurologists? or is one person expected to be equally knowledgeable about all three?
we see through toga that her counsellor identified her need for blood but they didn’t find a way to curb those instincts or even find a supplement for her. she’s left to be abused by her family for something she can’t control bc it’s literally in her dna. compare that to iida who knows he needs orange juice to power his quirk. his entire family are pro heroes so it would be easy to assume they could employ a private quirk counsellor the same way richer people can employ private doctors.
how many people have specific requirements due to their quirks? changes in their physiology that have to be treated the same way nutritional deficiencies and allergies do? even people without mutations probably have those requirements: does kirishima’s shark teeth mean he’s an obligate carnivore? does mina’s acid change her ph levels and what vitamins and minerals she needs? how would they figure that out? quirk counselling.
what about kids like touya who would need extensive counselling so he could figure out how to live with his quirk without hurting himself? kaminari essentially has seizures and they’re so normal to him and everyone around him that they’re the butt of jokes. they wouldn’t be a one and done patient; there’s always going to be people that need continued support the exact same way there’s people that need developmental and disability support. there would be so many quirks that harm their user, are they just taught to bury their quirks? as if that wouldn’t cause any physical or mental consequences?
governments can’t create a system that applies to only some people, we’re expected to believe they’ve made one that applies to all of them?
#bnha#my hero academia#mha meta#i imagine its similar to therapy in that the first session would be free since its probably required in order to register a child’s quirk#they probably figure out activation in that time and thats it#onto the next kid bc there will always be another kid#you want more information on your child’s power? you better be able to pay for more sessions#even quirkless people need to be fully assessed to ensure theyre quirkless#i doubt anyone else is as interested in this as i am but it feels like just another world building aspect horikoshi just kinda skipped#quirk counselling is just sort of thrown in with toga and curious and it becomes just another concept that is brought up and discarded#quirk counselling quirklessness mutant prejudice the quirk singularity theory general mutations outside of mutant quirks#theres so many little interesting concepts that are never given the development they deserve#and when they are like in the last few chapters its done in such a shallow handwavy way that i wish hed just leave them alone altogether#no wonder the plf exists quirks are so suppressed in society while also being a status symbol#and yet its a completely hypothetical advantage if they dont become a hero or a villain#if a kid has a heroic quirk theyre held on a pedestal and if they have a villainous one theyre demonised at best and abused at worst#koichi was almost given a fine bc he was using his quirk to get through foot traffic quicker how is there not a riot every year about#quirk freedom and rights violations?#and yet its completely glossed over#go beyond plus ultra#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt
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leatherbookmark · 1 year
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pretend to be shocked if you wish but i don’t even see mxy’s incestuous harassment of jgy as something like... Bad™, twisted or something that proves how Wrong In The Head he was. it’s just sad. chances are jgy was his first and last love, because -- how incredibly easy it would have been. i don’t think mxy was, hmm, mentally equipped to process “half-brother! off-limits!” -- he’s never seen this man before in his life, that’s a stranger! but what a stranger. he’s kind, respectful, capable and brilliant, hardworking despite the way he’s treated in jinlintai -- and mxy probably isn’t well-liked either, so even if jgy wasn’t also handsome, he would’ve gravitated towards this cool older dude who Understands. and hormones do the rest! and it didn’t even have to be immediate, or particularly sexual in nature, because i assume teens often don’t realize their crush is Obviously Showing. i’m just thinking about mxy who likes jgy so, so much and wants to be around him all the time, asks him about things, looks at him, catches a whiff of the incense on jgy’s robes as he walks past, blushes at the way jgy looks at a particular angle... just this sweet, innocent young love that’s so similar to the way jgy’s wife loved him before she was his wife So Fucking Doomed and mxy can’t even process it because he’s not even aware. :(
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boysborntodie · 11 months
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Me @ to anyone, please anyone, I am begging you-
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callixton · 1 month
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wearing his onesie rn first of all this is stupid soft second it smells so much like him . teehee i am suffering
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