#and absolutely works this month more than. say. next month or november

[afewfantasies]

🏔️The Retreat 🏔️- Chapter V

Prologue | Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Misc references & details

Summary:  Through the promptings of others Lorena and Gale are both forced to confront their personal feelings for each other, while acknowledging the potential for romance & their future.

Pairing: Gale Cleven x Lorena (black fem oc)

Warnings:  None

Tropes: Slow Burn, opposites attract, forbidden love

Word Count: 2K

PART V - Major

Gale had never witnessed a winter prep like this before. Lorena had a strange way of making everything feel like a party with all her personality and ideas to make the mundane fun. There were wood splitting competitions among the boys and stacking competitions. There was no quarrelling as Lorena and Rose were in charge of the harvest and for the first time they were ahead of the schedule in September. A freak frost would have very few consequences on their way of life. Lorena’s sister's visit seemed to do wonders for her well being and in the weeks since her departure there’d already been two letters. Gale kept Felicia’s words close to his chest. He found himself admiring Lorena more and more. Admitting the way her eye’s light when she smiles, the cadence of her laugh, her sense of humour and glamorous nature. He found himself indulging her stories and whims more too. If Felicia thought there was a possibility of happiness between them, then Gale thought there could be a possibility that Lorena could see him the same way all the others did.

“What are you moping about Gale, us soldiers not moving efficiently enough for the Major?” Lorena asks, coming in with a basket of apples to be sliced and hung to dry. Gale smiles at her teasing.

“Wasn’t moping, I just resent there’s nothing to complain about. It’s not good for my reputation” Gale admits. Lorena lights up before laughing a touch. Gale had been opening up to her, it was a wonderful thing. Absolutely wonderful that he was finding his way out of his shell, and beginning to trust her like she trusted him.

“I’ll make a mess of something, you can be sure of it so keep some complaints in your reserves Major” Lorena mocks. He’d inherited the nickname not as a form of respect but admonishment. His small margin for error and serious precision had garnered him the nickname from Lorena. She didn’t understand what surviving a Montana winter was like, what preparation was required to ensure comfort and survival but Gale did. He’d survived the prison camps with next to nothing in terms of food and clothing, and would never endure anything like it again.

“I don’t think you understand how the chain of command works,” Gale says, taking far more than he should. His heart had never let him be too harsh with Lorena. From the moment she appeared in the lodge he had a soft spot for her and that would never change.

“I’m just being a pest, I don’t need a court martial for insubordination” Lorena winks filling the sink with water, it only proves her knowledge of the chain of command. She’d learned a thing or two about the military structure during the 101st’s reunion a few months ago.

“Food is important, it’s always better to have too much of it stored just in case we get snowed in, or the trains get snowed out and provisions stop making their way here. Or we have a long winter” Gale explains.

“When’s the last time anyone can really get in or out?” Lorena asks.

“Depends on the year but after November you’re stuck until around March” Gale explains truthfully. Hesitation washes over Lorena as she does a quick calculation. It would be five months away from her family, five months without consistent communication with them. She’d been silently weighing her options since Felicia’s departure. The heartache of her ex had settled into a bearable wound. As much as she wanted to see them she didn’t want to be forced to remain in a town that felt too muddled by a complicated past and a would be increasingly frustrating present. Lorena didn’t know if she could ever truly be okay with the sight of the man she once loved more than anything happy with someone else. It was the defining reason she had yet to return home, and somehow that bit of self preservation felt cheap. Especially around the likes of Rose and Gale who faced insurmountable challenges head on. A war hero who survived with his sanity intact, and a window making her own way in the wilderness.

The sound of the water stops and Lorena looks up to see Gale has stopped the sink from overflowing. The playfulness is gone from his expression and has been replaced by concern. In a perfect world Lorena could have it all. Her family, friends and home, along with Gale, Rose and the others. Allowing her a moment to herself Gale places the apples into the water where they bob to the surface.

“What is it?” He asks finally.

“My parents miss me a lot, this will be my first Christmas away from them” Lorena confesses.

Her words are just that and Gale can’t help but wonder if there wasn’t another reason for her hesitation. The indication that she missed her ex, that he was one of the reasons she wanted to return. Felicia had been right about his feelings for Lorena, perhaps the older sister was also correct about her sister’s inevitable willingness to take the scoundrel who betrayed her back.

“You can get back home in the spring, it’ll be safer to travel to and from. Felicia can come back with you” he offers now that a world without her under his roof has become inconceivable to him. Lorena scoffs knowing full well that it wouldn’t just be Felicia, it would be her brother and mother as well. Reaching into the basin Lorena begins scrubbing the skin of the apples in preparation for their preservation. Gale stands by her side instead of returning to his task of unloading the hay with the others. His eyes wash over her as stands carrying more than she should emotionally. To Gale there were too many positive qualities to the woman that she should have no insecurities. Feeling the weight of his gaze, Lorena meets him. Something about his blue eyes always seemed to ground her, settle her restlessness and put her at ease. It had been so since the very first time she saw him.

“Gale, we need you - there’s another delivery to be signed for” one of the guys yells from outside.

Gale, we need you. Lorena smiles at the truth of the statement.

“I’m coming!” he shouts, turning back to the door before looking back at Lorena. So it would be a fight after all.

“Whenever you decide to leave I’ll make the trip with you, and if you don’t want to go back your family is welcome here” Gale says with the same commitment to his people that he’d had in the war. It brings a genuine smile to Lorena’s face. The thought of Gale waking through her hometown where he’d stick out like a black swan.

“Maybe you could spend a winter with me sometime and enjoy all the perks of city living.” She suggests making him smile. As long as Lorena saw her future intertwined with his, Gale could be at ease.

“Definitely, I’ll probably be in late. Have dinner with Rose”  He says far more comfortable with stepping out now. Even if it was only a few feet away Lorena’s melancholy weighed him down more than anything else. Lorena’s smile had made it into his dreams and into his heart. It was the only way he wanted to see her now.

…

Rose and Lorena sit on the porch swing watching the boys finish up loading the last few bales of hay for the day. Rose had prepared a hearty dinner that would surely put them to sleep after providing them with adequate nourishment.

“You’re good for him,” the older woman says.

“Huh?” Lorena questions.

“You’re good for him,”  Rose repeats, looking directly at Gale. “He was so angry last year - this entire experience was a nightmare. He hasn’t been angry in months and now he’s finally starting to settle” she says.

“Benefit of time” Lorena says.

“Not just time Lorena, you” Rose says.

“Well, I’m glad I can help,” Lorena responds, making Rose smile.

“Life’s too short to deny yourself the good because of those who’ve mistreated you. We’re all on borrowed time, don’t squander it. You’re young and beautiful and deserve to be loved.”

“Rose? Are you feverish, have you been smoking wild herbs?” Lorena asks, appalled by the older woman's frankness.

“I see the way he looks at you, I’m around. Gale doesn’t make a decision without considering your opinion of comfort. He’s too good a man for most and you’re too good a woman for most. Aside from the obvious facts there’s chemistry there that can’t be denied. Just think about the kind of love he’s capable of Lorena. If he’s been kind, generous and fair with you when you were a stranger.” Rose says hitting Lorena with sobering truths. Looking away from the boys Lorena turns to face Rose who nods with all knowing eyes.

“Gale’s a good man, his heart is set on that gorgeous starlet fiancé that ran away” Lorena sighs knowing intimately.

“He deserves far better than a woman that left him, the man he is and ignored what he was going through.” Rose says and it’s a point Lorena can agree on. “And so do you. I can’t imagine the amount of stupid on that ex-husband of yours. A lady like you being overlooked after staying and being loyal even to this day. Darling you’ve done enough for him. It’s time for you to live for you.” Rose suggests.

Looking at Rose it’s clear as day she’s full of wisdom, she’d always had an omniscient quality to her. Lorena’s silence is only further confirmation of the complicated web of feelings between Gale and herself. Reggie had courted her differently; with large declarations and ostentatious presentations of his affections. Reggie was loud in his love and it was all Lorena had come to know. Gale loved his corners, the quiet and operating in the peripheries if his expertise and leadership were not required.

“So you think I should do what my Ma says and remarry?” Lorena asks, looking into wise eyes.

“I think every woman deserves a taste of the best life has to offer them. You haven’t had it yet and you owe yourself that experience. Someone who cares so much they start digging out an extra cellar in August to prepare enough provisions so that the live-in princess is comfortable” Rose winks before heading into her home.

Lorena sits at a loss for words. Gale stands across the field leading the men in the loading of the barn. Lorena had thought him handsome from day one but she hadn’t thought she was even a contender for his affections, her head hadn’t been in that space when she first arrived. She was nursing her wounds. There was no longing for passion. Only longing for the heartache to cease. And it had. When and where Lorena didn’t know. She could place it. Sometime during the summer after many good days and full weeks. Among the smiles and laughter she’d found peace and Gale had been there every step of the way. Every breakfast, every supper, every night. Every morning he waited to hear movement before getting his day started, and every night he walked across the hall to look in on her before going to bed himself. There’d never been any room or reason for her to think it was something more than otherworldly courtesy. But perhaps with Gale love was the little things, the subtleties, the small kindnesses that add up over time, the careful consideration that makes life easier. The quiet consistency and loyalty that makes you feel a little invincible.

Authors Note: Thanks for reading 💖 I've been in the worst funk lately but the social media algorithm gods have been force feeding so much Austin that my creativity was "re-sparked". Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know how you feel in the comments and re-blogs. The next part is coming and its 🍵 😉

[ethical-cain-vinnel]

NO NUT NOVEMBER WITH RORY CHARACTERS

Pairing(s): Gabriel (2014) x GN! reader, Euronymous x GN! reader, and Jack Thurlow x GN! reader

Tags/Warnings: Pure smut, penetrated reader but no mentions of which hole (so it works for anyone), sub reader for euro and jack but soft dom reader for gabe, slight varg vikernes slander cause as fine as emory is i hate the actual varg, kinda boring sorry :(

Notes: This is a collab with @icarus-star who is absolutely amazing! He’s writing for Danny Cooper, Chris Kenton, and Possum and you can find his fic here! Also, for the Euronymous part I am STRICTLY going off of Rory’s portrayal in the movie Lords of Chaos. I hope they’re not too ooc i really tried to make them accurate

GABRIEL

Okay so I have always felt that Gabe is on the asexual spectrum, specifically demisexual and/or aceflux

In other words, I think that he has little to no sexual attraction to someone he hasn’t formed a bond with. For the aceflux part, I think that he has some periods of times where he feels no sexual attraction at all and has a very low sex drive and other times where he has to go at it at least 3 times a day (and obviously times where he’s in between the two)

So, some years are easier than others and sometimes he can go for months without having to jerk off or have sex but I’m going to be talking about a month where he has a pretty high sex drive

I feel like he doesn’t often participate, but one year, you wanted to try it with him and he agreed

It is TORTURE FOR HIM

Poor boy is so pent up because in the last few weeks of October, his sex drive started to get higher again :(

Within the first few days, he’s so whiney and pent up and all he wants to do is hold your hand and kiss you as you two make love

I think for this year’s no nut november, he lasts a week MAYBE two before hes whining and telling you that you won

He’s so teary when he finally gets inside you and he cums almost as soon as you start moving

He needs you to take control because he gets fucked dumb so quickly

Overall, he doesn’t last long but the sex afterward makes it worth it

EURONYMOUS/ØYSTEIN AARSETH

He usually doesn’t care about no nut november, but stupid varg brought it up to the rest of the inner circle so now they’re all doing it.

On Halloween, he fucks you until you’re both overstimulated and passed out to hopefully make this easier for you both

He goes into it pretty cocky, thinking he’ll win the prize that the inner circle decided on

And he does pretty well

Until midway into week 2

Euro has a VERY high sex drive. Like at least 5-6 times a week but thats on a bad week

He could barely sleep in the same bed as you, your scent instantly making him pop a boner

He NEEDED to feel you again and by tuesday of the 3rd week, hes shoving you on the bed and tearing your clothes off

He fucks you so hard that you can’t walk for a few days and he has to either carry you everywhere or bring it to you

He’s pounding into you and saying the nastiest shit

He’s so mean about it but the aftercare is way better than normal

JACK THURLOW

I know that his fans (me included tbh) loves to make him out as a sex fiend but honestly, I think he has a pretty average sex drive

Out of the three characters I picked, he’s the one making it to the end

He’s only doing this cause he’s curious to see if it does anything (cough cough make him more emotional so he can write kick ass poems cough cough)

He lets you cock warm him on the last night of november

“Quit moving. Only an hour left. Be good”

Once it’s December first, you know you’ll need to call out for work in the morning.

He fucks you at his desk before taking you to the bed

He fucks you until he’s shooting blanks, and even then, he keeps going for 1-2 more rounds

The last week was really hard on him but he didn’t realize until he was back inside you

I genuinely think that he became more insufferable and aggravated without realizing it at the 2 ½ week mark

He takes care of you reaaallll well for the next couple days hehe

[likeadevils]

Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...]  “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math. 

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker,  with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense. 

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house. 

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017). 

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[jellazticious]

“You can’t rush art”

I think everybody can recall the quote from Toy Story 2. From the most satisfying part of the movie where we see a montage of Woody getting restored by a toy maker. It’s one of my favourites too, I absolutely loved looking at the different procedures used to fix a single toy. The toymaker’s precision and care were found mesmerizing by everyone. As a multi-hatted artist, one that can draw, sculpt, animate, and write, I can say that it’s spot on that there’s so much to do for a single piece of work. HOOO boy, you should see how me and Beefy are organizing Cursed to Charm, there’s so much.

For the upcoming webcomic, we design characters, give each and every one of them their stand-alone story, design different clothes, create the map, draw renders and posters, polish scripts for the episodes, plan to program the comic’s own website, make the backgrounds eventually, etc. To people who aren’t artists or take art for granted, to them, art is stroking a paper using a pen and BAM instant masterpiece. No no, it’s more than that.

Another thing I’d like to say about the comic is that the progress is very slow yet very fruitful because of the time taken. Me and my co-author came up with the idea at late November, which makes the comic four months old now. However, with all that time passed, we have already finalized the list of nine episodes of season one. We have also written seven out of nine summaries from that season before actually writing the dialogue in detail. We have a rough four seasons worth of story progression in the span of four months. Nyeh, excuse the little ramble about CtC, I’m just giving insight of how much should be done for the production of anything which leads us to the next point.

Art production in general.

Movies, animation, shows, video games, books, comics etc etc

All of these are part of art, some people would deny because it isn’t sophisticated like they’re lead to believe art is supposed to be. Art is literally just creation man, can’t get any simpler than that 😩 if you made something, then you made something woohoo! Congratulations you made art, cooking included. It came free with your fucking humanity.

Anyway, just like the webcomic, every single one of these listed also have a set of different procedures that will piece together the final output.

Let’s take Disney movies as a specific example, I want to talk about something real quick.

So one time, I was watching Tarzan with my parents and we stuck around for the end credits. My mom pointed out the animators are divided into sections and there’s so much names on them. There are different teams of animators for each character and these teams are divided in two for the storyboarders and the clean up artists. When the credits rolled a bit more, it showed that the background artists and colorists also have their own sections too. There’s so much people working on different body parts of a movie. I got the habit of reading end credits of every movie I watch, animated or live action, then I would compare the credits of old and new movies. Boy, let me tell you that the work space on old movies are FILLED compared to newer movies. One thing I noticed about Disney movies although, is that the old movies have more sections compared to new ones. The major difference of old Disney and new Disney are the length of the credits and the time gap of the movies. I’m really not trusting the way new movies have way shorter end credits while the publish time of new movies are getting narrower and narrower. Before the 2000s, movies usually come out twice a year and sometimes there’s a two-year hiatus before the next batch of movies are published. Now there’s at least two or three movies that publish yearly while also releasing a bunch of shows in the middle of it. I really don’t understand business talk with the way it sacrifices quality over quantity. Like I get having money is great and all but what’s the use of hoarding it? Especially when there’s so much news of people about to be in poverty and mass layoffs. Why should companies earn money if they’re not going to redistribute it back to the economy at all? This is a little off topic but I want to point it out that people in the 80s used to buy whole houses by being a janitor but nowadays people could barely afford a one room apartment even with three jobs. The Simpsons is an example of this because it was set in the 90s and the family is constantly reminded of how “poor” they are. They even created an episode that talks about the same job that supported people’s fathers will no longer support you nowadays (Poorhouse Rock ep22 s33). It’s fishy and I’m salty about it especially because I hear so much people complaining about how they’re not being given a chance to work. Anywho! Let’s go back to art.

I’m just spitballing my thoughts here but somehow they’re connecting either way. All I’m trying to say is that for the people who care so much about the quality of art, it’s noticeable that they get downgraded, not just by the look but by the way they’re written.

Example.

Clone High.

Jesus Christ, the new show is a nightmare and an insult to the original Clone High. The difference is clear with this one. The original Clone High was heavy satire of every single high school trope used in shows and movies. Every single character was meant to have one personality and that personality is the butt of the joke. The original did not care about making the characters appealing because the appeal is found in the way they interact, they clash so much and a lot of them are idiots. The writing is funny because the dialogue flows so easily unlike the renewal. The renewed Clone High takes itself too seriously and it tries too hard to be relevant. It’s funny to me that fans can draw the original’s art style more accurately than the animators hired. What’s even more frustrating is that concept art was released from the art head and the concept art looked way better than what they decided on the final designs. Other than the art style that tries to be marketable, the writing is insufferable with the way they try to be “relatable” without understanding why the original jokes were funny to begin with.

Now we’re all familiar with this cheap tactic of using the title of successful franchises to grab clicks and views. It’s every live action Disney film, it happened to Scooby Doo, Marvel shows, FNAF, some Cartoon Network shows, Megamind, and now even Kung Fu Panda. Basically MILKING. It would have been better if the productions TRIED to understand the original’s intentions which they forgot about. They ended up being disappointing at best and soulless at worst. I won’t be explaining much cuz I’ve already reached the minimum word count lmao. I’m just rambling here, I better not see anyone interrogate me in asks or replies. ANYWAY, I’m gonna get to the point real quick.

Back to the quote at the start of the post, people tend to forget that. Art is a skill, not a button people press and it gives you pretty pictures or videos. Art is a job and an effort. While art is subjective and it differs from person to person, one thing for certain is that art that is made ingenuinely will never be better than art that is made because the artist loves art. This is why the Tom & Jerry reboots with the lineless art style even if they had a storyboard artist who understood the cartoon wackiness (which were discarded for a “cleaner” and faster style). This is why it’s so frustrating to see concept art of movies which have more appeal than the final 3d models. This is why FNAF Security Breach was nearly unplayable.

Because they all rushed art.

They rushed in favour of what is marketable, no matter how unappealing it is. Everything could have been better, some final products are good, but all of them could have been better. As good as what were released pre 2010s when production had a passion. You can’t spell heart without art.

I’m just really passionate about art in any form since it’s everything that created me too. I will not be here at this point in time if it weren’t for me learning that there’s so much beauty in the world if you could just squint and appreciate why that’s so. I’m defined by my works and it only hurts and infuriates me that people who have the ability and accessibility to create better art than I do waste it for their personal gain or selfish intentions. Everyone could be a better person because of art just as it did to me. Again, it came to us the moment we’re born, art isn’t just a pretty picture, it’s everything we create out of love, passion, time, and effort.

But really, to the wise words of Chef Saltbaker, “like any good bake, heart and soul is the secret ingredient”

You can’t rush art.

[philaet0s]

Celebrity/Social Media AU - Part 26

Previous Part: Part 25

Next Part: Part 27

back to tweets in the next part!

Simon

A cottage in the middle of the woods. If you’d asked me where I thought Baz was taking me, this would have never been my guess. After spending his entire childhood in a huge, isolated manor, without ever seeing people unless his dad took him to the nearest town, a twenty-minute drive away, let’s say he’s not a fan of secluded places. He likes people and the business of cities.

And he likes luxury hotels. It’s very strange for him to have booked something like this. I ask him about it.

“I’ve been spending my life between the jet and busy cities for the past few months. Reconnecting with nature couldn’t hurt. And you like it, don’t you? I can perfectly picture you frolicing in the garden,” he comments, in a teasing tone, as he looks out the large bay windows that open on ‘the garden’.

That word does not do justice to the large outdoor space this place has. I can’t even see the limits of it from here.

“I am excited to go around the garden,” I answer with a smile.

“I knew it.”

…

Baz has decided that we should have a picnic for lunch. My argument that it’s November, therefore absolutely not the right time of year for a picnic, doesn’t stop him. Neither does my argument that we don’t have any food, and that I was thinking we would rely on delivery services for our trip, as always when we’re away from home. (Right, we do rely on delivery a lot when we’re at home too, but that’s beside the point.)

So there we are. On our way to the nearest grocery store, to get food for our picnic.

Groceries are always a fun experience with Baz. His parents have tons of people working for them, including a cook who is the one doing most of the grocery shopping as he is also the one making most of the meals, and though he has lived alone in the past, a majority of his meals were takeaway or delivery so he never had to worry about groceries then either. Then he had a boyfriend who, as far as he told me, was in charge of food. Now… He has me for that. I’d never trust him with my shopping list.

But, on occasion, I do take him to the shop with me, and I get to watch him walk the aisles like a child in the zoo, marvelling at everything around himself. And putting a shit ton of crap in our cart.

Every word out of my mouth is full of skepticism as I watch the items he grabs. “Do we need four different bars of chocolate?” “It’s November. Why would we buy ice cream? It’s going to melt before we’re back at the cottage anyway.” “You know we can’t survive on sweets only, right?” “We also can’t survive on cheese only.” “You do know that strawberries are not in season, right? Put that back. Here, let’s have some pears if you want fruit.” “Is the hummus really necessary?” “So we’re buying a family-size box of cereal for… 2 days?”

I do put back some of the things he’s added to our cart, but most of it stays. He doesn’t do this often, and it makes him happy. I don’t have the heart to stop him. Besides, it’s not like it’ll go to waste. We’ll bring anything we haven’t eaten here back home.

I’m a little concerned that most of our groceries are not things his dietician would recommend while he’s on tour, but I keep those concerns to myself. I can see him turning my question into a comment about his weight from a mile away. It’s a sensitive spot for him… Which is absurd. He’s put on a few pounds since the beginning of his tour and he’s still slimmer than I’ve been in years. Yet, he never seemed to have issues with my weight. Quite the opposite.

He can have junk food for two days. It’s not like I’m going to tell on him.

As we’re emptying our cart on the belt at checkout, a hesitant voice speaks his name.

I was wondering if that was going to happen.

Surprisingly enough, Baz doesn’t get recognised that often when he’s out and about. Of course, it happens, but far less than what I expected when I met him. He told me it happens more when he’s in the US. Maybe it’s just that a majority of his fans don’t live in the UK.

We both turn to look at the voice. It belongs to a girl, who’s probably only a couple of years younger than us, with her hair bleached so much that it looks white and tons of piercings on her face. Her hair is shaved above her ears and she has tattoos there, that make her look like an elf in a fantasy movie. She’s very pretty.

“Hello, I’m sorry to come onto you like this, I hope I’m not bothering you, I totally understand if this is annoying, but if you don’t mind, could I have a picture with you?”

At least she’s polite. (A bit too polite, the poor girl sounds anxious). Some people don’t even say ‘hello’ before they ask for a picture.

Baz smiles at her kindly. “Sure. What’s your name?”

“Alice.”

“Okay.” He turns to me. “Can I let you handle the groceries? It’s almost our turn.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Thank you. Alice, do you want to go outside for that picture? It might look nicer than with those aisles in the background.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah. I mean, I need to… uh…” She holds up the groceries in her hand. “Pay.”

“Well, then, let’s all pay for our groceries, and then you can have your picture.”

She nods. “Y-Yeah.”

Poor girl. She looks like she might faint.

The lady at checkout looks mildly annoyed with us. With all that chatting, we haven’t finished putting our groceries down and she’s already checked everything else out. We hurry with the rest of our things, then Baz pays. I don’t even argue about it. There was a time when I would have. I don’t like when people pay things for me, but after a while I understood that that was one of the ways in which Baz showed love –I guess that’s what happened when you grow up in a family where you received many gifts but no affection. When I seemed annoyed that he was paying for me again, he would take it very personally. Like it was him I was rejecting and not his offer to spend his money on me.

Besides, he’s rich as hell. He can pay for things.

My contribution is paying for our bills. It makes the most sense since I’m the one who’s at home most of the time, anyway.

We head out of the shop, soon followed by the girl, Alice. She looks incredibly flustered. It’s kind of cute. She clumsily searches for her phone in her tote bag. It’s the sort of behaviour I’m more used to seeing in Baz’s teenage fans.

I offer to take the picture for them, both because it generally looks better than selfies and because that poor girl is so emotional she might not be able to get a good picture. She accepts with a grateful smile, handing me her phone. They pause, I click. Picture taken. Alice thanks me when she takes back her phone, which she quickly drops inside her bag.

“Thank you so much,” she tells Baz, waving her hands in front of her face and blinking fast, like she might cry. “I’m… Sorry, it’s just… I really love your music. It got me through very hard times and I… It’s really a big deal for me. Seeing you. I… If I may take one more minute of your time. I have a tattoo. Inspired by one of your songs. I wanted to show you, if that’s okay.”

“I’d love to see it,” Baz answers.

I wonder how that feels like for him. Someone loving his lyrics so much that they get them tattooed on their body. It’s not a rare occurrence, I see people post their Baz Pitch tattoos on Twitter regularly, but I don’t know if he’s ever seen one in real life. He doesn’t get much interaction with his fans.

Alice pulls up the sleeve of her coat and top to show Baz the inside of her forearm. There, she has a broken violin tattooed, and from what I can see, lyrics from his song Precipice. It’s from the album of Baz’s I listen to the least –Portrait of the Artist as a Madman– because it was written when he was at a very low point in his life and the feelings he expresses in it always make me tear up after a song or two.

“That is not my most cheerful song,” Baz comments, almost teasingly.

“I love your sadder songs more. You have a way of describing feelings and experiences in just a few words that is so… raw and real, but lyrical at the same time. Some of your songs could be poems, it’s… brilliant.”

“Some of my songs were written as poems.”

“I know! I study English at university and the first time I heard In Fairness I lost my mind, I had to listen to it a second time immediately to make sure I wasn’t going crazy and that you had written a song in iambic pentameter! It’s a prowess, really, that you were capable of taking that poetic form and putting it to song, and it’s such a lovely homage to the tradition of poetry and singing being intertwined. And it was such a risk! That’s an unusual way of putting stress in a sentence, it gives an odd rhythm to the song, but… it works so well. And… I talked too much. I’m so, sorry. I’ll leave you now. Thank you so much for your time, it was absolutely brilliant getting to chat with you.”

“Hey, slow down. You just gave me all these compliments and you’re going to walk away without giving me a chance to thank you?”

She flushes.

“I’m very touched to see how much you seem to appreciate my art, and I’m glad you were so impressed by my… bold songwriting decision on In Fairness. The general opinion on that song is that it’s terrible, so it’s quite pleasant hearing someone say something positive about it.”

Oh, to hear Baz talk about his music. I must have the same adoring look on my face as Alice…

Simon and Baz going grocery shopping is actually so special to me, I’ve written so many scenes of then at the grocery shop lol (it’s because I’m obsessed with grocery shops)

[captainofthetidesbreath]

If the length of a traversal is measured in real-time by tracking the time-buoy as it travels across the Mediun, are the lengths of months determined through a checkpoint system?

If a traversal, which is suggested to function essentially like a year (yes, I know years are sometimes referred to), is how long this buoy takes to travel from point A to point B, then how else would you derive the month subdivisions? It's gotta be checkpoints because I can't think of another way to do it under such a system.

That would mean each month is however many days (which seem to have a more consistent, or even fixed, length) it takes to get to the next checkpoint. That isn't so difficult to imagine, given that's how long a traversal is known to be. We know their months can be long. The Upper Trust meeting about Midst was held on the 44th day of the eleventh month. Let's call it November, since we don't know their names (if they have different names at all). Lark's journal shows that July lasted at least 37 days, September 43, and October 42.

What happens if the Timekeepers lose track of the buoy? Or if it's destroyed? We know that the Timekeepers themselves can become shipwrecked, but what if the buoy? Are there setbacks that add further days to already indeterminately long months?

Scheduling must be all the more impossible when you can only really guess at dates a couple of weeks in advance, at best. Though, it isn't hard to say you're meeting from the 8th to the 10th in the new traversal, beginning of its second week, as Kozma notes that the Barons are. You can schedule anything early in a month by date, and perhaps you have to schedule the rest relative to today ("in ten days"). It does seem to make anything further than the near future a little difficult to conceptualize.

Then there is how Tzila is twelve-and-a-half. The anniversary of the founding of Stationary Hill is celebrated. If traversals are presumably different lengths each time, thus months are variably long, how are annual observances tracked? Is there a complex date conversion system? (Are traversals more accurately conceptualized as a parallel calendar system to a more widely used one, like many calendars are to the Gregorian?) Do they simply observe holidays according to, again, relative to specific points in the cosmos along the buoy's route? That is simply a more granular version of checkpoints for months. Does everyone have a floating birthday: it was the 30th last year, the 36th the year before that, and looking to be the 27th this year?

Imagine the experience of time under all this, where the calendar itself is unsure of how long a month is going to be until it actually ends and dates are, almost literally, fluid. Interminable Januarys, endless Novembers, holidays stalled in the approach, years that never end—it would all be very real.

Just absolutely fascinating to try to extrapolate the possible material reality of a calendar measured out in real-time by tracking a buoy across physical space, driven by a current that moves at variable speeds. What a fascinating lived reality that must lead to. I'm determined to think about the way clocks and calendars work in the cosmos, and the narrators can't stop me. Drop the deets, @midstpodcast, a girl wants to know about the experience and measurement of calendar time in the cosmos.

[haloxsaisha]

So Good.

[Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Reader]

Based on: So Good by Halsey.

Warnings: Angst, Abu Dhabi and Monza 2021 (I'm so sorry), some fluff, few cheesy dialogues (cause I'm a dumbass), depression, insomnia, eating disorder and weight loss.

Word Count: 15.5K words (I've never written this much in my life so far, I'm so proud of myself).

A/N: My first Lewis fic, I wasn't expecting it to be done with during the Abu Dhabi race week but oh well💀 I'm personally quite happy with how this turned out! I hope y'all like it <33

Bold and italicized font: song lyrics.

Italicized font: flashbacks.

“I remember the night, I was so frustrated.”

You could only bury your hands, head filled with shock and completely blank.

You never thought this would ever happen to anybody, let alone just him. Nobody who had watched the sport did.

Everything inside you began to sink in the moment the whole mess about unlapping the cars started and as the rest of the race unfolded, you felt yourself crumbling.

Lewis staying in his car in silence, in disbelief at the parc ferme had been playing on your mind again and again.

You were supposed to be there. You had to be there for him.

You had apologized to him multiple times for not being there in a championship decider race, especially at a win that was so historically important but he dismissed your countless apologies saying that he could understand. You had been shooting for a movie in London since November, which also meant that you hadn't met each other in more than a month, work and COVID restrictions making its way in. There was one thing that you and Lewis always stood by, which was that your jobs would be given the first priority. Understandable from both sides because your works usually involve a lot of people, meaning that compromising on it was quite hard and it was also very important to both of you from an emotional perspective, although you had to admit the Formula 1 driver was reaching an equivalent position to your work in your heart.

You watched him speak in the post race interview and then the moment he shared with his father, leaning his head as he took in the encouraging words being whispered in his ear. He had always been so strong and it was something you admired about him.

You sent him a message (which you hoped would provide a bit of comfort), mentioning that what happened was unfair, he deserved that win after everything he'd been through the entire season and that night and how proud you were of him. Also adding that he could call you when he felt like doing so because he wouldn't be in the headspace to talk to people at the time.

Seven hours later, you were done with your scenes for the day at ten in the night. The first thing you did after entering the vanity was checking your phone and your message to him was still at 'delivered', which increased your worry and anxiety.

After a bit, you got the idea of dropping a message to Angela, who was somebody you were close to too. You knew the Wolffs, Miles and Daniel, you even met his parents, stepmum and his siblings too when you'd been to the Silverstone race but Angela was somebody you bonded along with very well. She was one of the sweetest persons you'd met and also took care of you like an older sister would whenever you were around.

But you'll only get a response a while later since it's probably the wee hours at Abu Dhabi right now, you thought as you sighed. The race and your work has already drained out all your energy and despite your mind being absolutely restless because of how anxious you felt, but you had to drive yourself to sleep somehow. The director wouldn't be happy seeing her lead actress with puffy eyes and barely any energy the next day.

By the time you landed on your bed, it struck midnight and your phone let out the notification sound, showing the message from Angela which said that Lewis wasn't doing great and hadn't spoken to anybody yet.

Now how were you going to be able to sleep after knowing that?

“I touch your hand for the first time, I see it on your face, then another lifetime's flashin' by.”

"You see the star there? That one's called Sirius." he tells you, pointing to a specific region in the night sky.

"I didn't peg you to be somebody who was familiar with Harry Potter references, Hamilton." you give him a surprised, yet impressed look.

"There's a lot more to me than meets the eye darling, you'll see." he tells you cockily and you playfully rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"This might just be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen." you said in awe, your eyes fixed at the sparkling stars laid on an endless canvas of the dark blue sky.

"Mhm yeah, it definitely is." the sweet and distracted voice of the man who'd been surrounding you and your thoughts for the past couple of months came through and you turned your head towards him, finding him looking at you.

You felt your cheeks heat and you could only let out a giggle in response, not knowing how to respond because of how flustered he made you feel.

Lewis Hamilton was definitely a lot more cheesy than one would ever assume.

"I'm sorry I couldn't plan anything fun, there's pandemic restrictions so everything around is almost shut." he apologizes and you melt at how heartful he sounds about it.

"Don't be ridiculous Lew, I've loved every moment of this date so far." you assure him with a soft smile. Star gazing with somebody you've admired for so long as a first date was something that nobody could beat.

"Well, how can I make the date better?" he asks and your eyes light up in silent laughter thinking he's joking but then you look at him, it turns out that he was actually being serious.

Dear god, what type of dates had this man been on?

"Well that's a hard one because I feel like the date has already met the standards." you pretend to think for a moment "Maybe you could let Roscoe join us?" you ask him, giving him a grin which made him fall for you even more.

"Now that's not fair." he playfully whines "This time is for us. He loves you too much, will take away all your attention from me." he said, referring to all the times the both of you spend with your mutual friends. He was right, the bulldog did take a lot of your time.

"Well I've at least gotta win over one heart right?" you said, reflecting your doubts about him considering if the thing between the both you was anything serious or not.

"Well in that case, his heart will be the second one you've won over from this house." he said and you looked at him, your eyes softening with warmth and your cheeks turning red as you move closer to him.

He feels it too, you thought as he wrapped his arm around you, making you sigh in bliss.

Nearly two years later, the morning after the catastrophic race, the first thing you saw after waking up were the words "I don't think I can do this anymore, I need some space and time away." on your phone and at that moment, you had been absolutely destroyed.

It felt like everything in you had just been dropped down and shattered without any noise, you just feel so hollow and empty on the inside.

You couldn't ridicule him for feeling devastated, anybody would understand how much yesterday meant to him and how it affected him even if they didn't know him personally.

But you believed that you were comfortable enough to be with each other through any situation, happiness or despair. You believed that he found the same comfort, solace and safety that you found in him.

But it turns out that he didn't. The both of you went all the way from a video call like a regular couple would before the race to a text like somebody that didn't really mean anything to him a later, he pushed you out.

“I bet you're happy and that's fine. But I regret just one thing, I never got to change your mind”

He'd been back on the screens for the next season. Despite all the news about him discontinuing racing, you knew he'd go back.

Racing was everything to him, it was quite literally everything he'd known. He'd spoken openly about the struggles that him and his dad faced to reach where he was in the racing industry.

He knew how to rise up from the worst moments, he always had it in him.

You were still a mess. It had been almost three months since the text which broke everything in you. But there he was, having interviews with his teammate, a happy grin on his face.

Being an F1 fan for a long time, you always kept up with whatever news was on about the grid and Lewis had quite the spotlight when it came to headlines about his professional life or personal life.

You knew that he wasn't really the person for serious relationships after a point in his career. All of his focus was on Formula 1, rightfully so, which was why one night stands and short flings were what he went for.

You knew that even before you met him, you knew it whilst being friends but you still agreed to date him despite that one thing freaking you out. He had a hold on you, such an aura around him. You were always in this bubble of happiness, positivity and peace when you were with him.

Although his past relationships made you think about a lot of 'what if-s', how could you say no to a guy who made you feel like that?

Well, this was the consequence of giving in to emotions rather than logic. Your heart had been shattered like fritted glass, while he was back to normal like the break up was nothing but a minor collateral damage.

Work was always a top priority but all those moments that the both of you shared had a lot of meaning right?

“And I'm doin' okay. In the back of my mind, all I hear is your name”

The last time you slept well was the night before the Abu Dhabi race. You were normally a light sleeper, which gave you a pretty decent amount of sleep to feel good the next day.

But ever since that night, your sleep had come down only a few hours every week. You'd just walk about the room feeling restless, scroll through your phone or laptop or the television to pass time, there were some days where you just stared at the ceiling, the thoughts in your head just rushing in with memories of Lewis and you'd end up bursting into tears, sleeping over taking you after your eyes would turn red and puffy. And after two or three hours, you'd be awake again, tossing and turning around the bed.

And it was safe to say the sight of food started making you feel sick, your face would literally scrunch at the sight of it. But you still had to eat a minimum amount of food that would help you survive a day at work. Completely cutting out on food, which you had the urge to do, would completely affect the image on you and your career, which you felt was too risky.

Everybody had noticed you spiralled down, you could feel it too but you just stopped caring about anything after a point, you just felt so empty in your head to push yourself. Acting was the only thing that had you taking steps forward in life.

Soon enough, there were articles out on the news about you, commenting on the drastic weight loss that had been noticed in you, caused by the change in your eating habits. Your fans also began to notice how your use of social media had come down drastically, since you always had the habit of interacting with them frequently and also shared random pictures and videos from your day at work, especially if it was in a place far from home.

And that made the pressure from the people close to you increase. After getting to know about your break up with Lewis, your parents and close friends urged you to talk more, to let out how you were feeling. But you always convinced them by saying that you were alright, that you understood why he needed the break up and you just went along with life, your work satisfying you at the moment.

The moment you came back home after you were done with the movie you were working on for the past couple of months, the first thing your mum did was make you sit next to her and reminded you of all the hard times you'd been through, of all the people you had in your life who still cared for you and loved you, about how there were people out there who admired your work.

And that's when it struck you, that yes, you did lose a particular feeling love in your life. But there was so much more to life that made living your life whole heartedly rather than making it more painful for you, more that you'd already been through because of your heart getting broken by a certain British man.

You took a small break from your work and the fast life around you, spending the time with your family and friends, parallelly going to therapy as well. Although the scar of that heartbreak was always going to remain, the slow paced yet quality time helped your wounds heal little by little.

And then you were back to work, feeling better than you'd been for the past couple of months. You were able to breathe freely, feeling the light weighted space in you.

But there were still certain things that reminded you of him. One day, you saw a bull dog being taken on a walk by its owner, your mind would fly to how Roscoe would lie down in between you and Lewis, snuggling in the night. The smell or sight of tea would remind you about how the both of you would keep arguing about whether tea or coffee was better, you loving coffee and him being always so British and loving tea. But nevertheless he knew how to make coffee the way you liked it and you knew the same for his tea. The sound of a piano would remind you of the times he would play it and sing his favourite songs, even teaching you the basics of how to play it sometimes. Stargazing and watching Formula 1 was something you just stopped altogether, not being able to handle the intensity of the emotions it brought in you.

If there was anything that made you feel relieved now, it was about how it didn't hurt as much as it used to and how the control he had your thoughts had come down.

"Talkin' wildly out of context, I wish things were different. But I'll never know”

What the hell just happened, you thought as you looked at the screen of the TV in the garage.

It took you everything to not break into a string of curse words but if anything, you were really worried if Lewis was okay.

The man literally had a car on top of his with the tyres nearly touching his head, dear god.

And you had no clue how he would react after coming back to the garage. He wasn't the one to tantrums but was he somebody who just stayed quiet? Did he deal with the anger he felt? Would he like having anybody around him to comfort him? Or did he prefer being alone?

You had spent a good number of days with him, an amount of time that could turn into a bunch of months if you added them up, but all the races you'd been to for the past year were always good ones. You were there when he won his seventh world championship but this was the first time you were around during a bad race, a one with a scary DNF.

He didn't know you were here for the race. Due to the COVID protocols, you had to quarantine for a few days before being able to meet Lewis and you didn't have a break or gap of that many days that often which made being at his races quite hard. So you thought that you could surprise him at the Monza GP, coming into the garage after he got into the car.

What you planned was to hide in some corner of the Mercedes garage and meet him in his driver's room after he went there, yelling a cheerful "surprise!". But you obviously couldn't do that now, considering what just happened. How you would meet him was barely on your mind now, you were scared about how he was after the crash.

"Hey, he's back in his driver's room. You can go and meet him now." Angela came and told you, a few minutes after you were restlessly tapping your feet up and down.

"Oh thank god, how is he? No injuries right?" you ask her anxiously, a shaky breath leaving your body.

"He's alright now, nothing serious has happened to him. He has some headache and pain in the neck, he'll be back to normal in a matter of some time." she assures you, giving you a comforting smile and places her around your shoulder, knowing how worried you get about him.

"Would he be alright with having me around now Ange? I think he'd want some silence for now." you said, giving her an unconvincing smile.

"Don't be ridiculous, he just had a scary race. None of his family and close friends are around now either, he'll obviously love to have you around now. You'll make his day better and he'll calm down." Angela convinces you and you walk towards his driver's room, still debating in your mind if you should step in or not.

Angela knocks the door and speaks out so that Lewis thinks it her, rushing towards the team before Lewis opens the door so that the both of you can have your space.

The sound of the room's door opening brings you out of your over thinking. "Um, hey?" you tell him in a shaky voice, eyes scanning over him to see if he was alright. Of course Angela wouldn't lie to you but for some reason, it wasn't sinking in your mind until you saw him.

His eyes widened in surprise "You're here? Wait a minute- you're actually here." he says and his reaction made your nerves calmed down a bit.

"Well, the plan was to keep a rather happy surprise." you say, giving him a weak smile "If you want to be alone for some time, I'll go back and sit with Ange, I totally understand-" he cut off your rambling by taking your hand in his and pulling you in for a hug.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm glad you're here. C'mon in." he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his forehead on your shoulder "missed you and that scent so much." he mumbles as you place your hand through his braids, running your fingers through his hair to calm him down, like he always liked it.

"I can feel your heartbeat and it's going crazy. We've been together for a year and I still scare you?" he teases you, referring to the initial days of knowing him. Timid was an understatement. Having been a huge fan of the sport and him for years before you first met him, you always shared many shy smiles and few words with him, scared that your rather talkative side which always went on rambling would annoy him.

"I don't know- that just, that was scary. I'm so worried baby, the tyre was literally so close to your head." you sighed as he sat on the couch, placing you on his lap.

"Stuff like this happens time and again in racing, you've watched it over the years. At that moment I tried to shuffle inside the car as much as possible and lowered my head down, so nothing from the car reached my head. Don't worry sweetheart, I'm totally alright." he says, rubbing circles on your waist in the hopes of calming you down.

"Ange told me you have a headache and neck pain though, don't lie to me." you mumbled, pushing away the braids to a side and placing a small kiss on his forehead. He just gives you a reassuring smile, his eyes signifying that it'll be gone soon and he places his head on your shoulder, snuggling in for comfort as you placed your hand on his back and rubbing it up and down.

Thinking of the memory from that day made you wonder only one thing. Would the both of you still be together if you were together? If he would've seeked your comfort or just push you away nevertheless.

You guess you'd never know, Monza was one DNF while what happened at Abu Dhabi was something brought in such loss and affected his perspective about his career and life.

You knew it didn't end well, there were so many things left unspoken between the two of you. It was bad, but both of you would've been so good together.

[feverdreamjohnny]

Orbo's Odyssey - Post Mortem

My Feelings About The Game

It's an odd thing to try and pull together your thoughts about something so chaotic.

I guess it'd be easier to just catalogue how my emotions evolved as the project went on, and then wrap it up by trying to pull apart how I feel now, as arcane as that is.

I've been a part of a private developer community for a bit now, and during a majority of my time there I felt sort of like a fish out of water. I guess it was just weird seeing people at the top of their craft while my work sort of paled in comparison. A majority of them had a background in developing character action games or platformers with intricate movement systems, and that was absolutely outside the range of what I understood.

Late 2022 I decided to try and make a movement system with a really strong focus on momentum so I could feel "at home" with the other devs. So I made a small tech demo where most of Orbo's moveset was formed.

In the end it didn't really make me feel more confident in my work, but at least I proved to myself that I could tackle unfamiliar waters and make headway. Regardless, I left the tech demo where it was and continued to work on Nowhere, MI for the next few months.

I made a lot of progress on Nowhere, and around late November a publisher reached out to me to offer help. I was desperate, after all. I didn't have a lot of money to my name and this was the kind of lifeline I needed to secure so I could finish the game.

To cut a long story short, they kept delaying talks about the game over and over and it became increasingly clear to me that my dream of being funded wasn't going to happen.

I was sort of in a bad spot now. It was early 2023 at this point, and I was going to have to make a tough decision: delay Nowhere and get a retail job to make money (potentially losing sight of the project in the process), or find some other solution to secure funding. No other publishers were going to pick me up (and I really didn't trust a majority of them so I only had my sights set on a handful I felt I could trust), so I came to a new conclusion:

What if I just made something short, say in the span of a month or two, and sell it? Surely that would be easy.

Surely.

The Game

In March of 2023, I began working on the game. I wasn't sure what sort of format I wanted for the game at first, and I had initially considered a rogue-like arena combat game where you'd use the game's momentum mechanics to fight enemies, collect upgrades to improve your abilities, rinse and repeat.

The idea ended up feeling sort of strange when I began pre-production, so I ended up scrapping it.

I thought about the movement system some more and realized that it had a strange kinship to a game I had played just a month earlier: Super Kiwi 64.

Then I thought about Siactro's other games, how they were similarly small-scope platformers that seemed to perform well on Steam and Switch, and I realized that if there was something that would suit my own development style (focused around exploration and secrets), it was a 3D platformer.

The first month was fairly strong. I moved at lightning-speed, hammering systems into the game piece by piece. Collectables were done. Time trials (and their records) were done. Movement had been refined further and felt better than in the initial tech demo. There was also a lot of underlying structuring that I won't get into because it's boring (but important).

About a week in I even started working with my friend Tim (who's a professional environment artist), and we began working together on the hub environment (we brainstormed the layout, I designed the greybox, and he wrapped it up with the environment art).

It was going great, but as March was nearing its end I began to realize what I was dealing with.

"Oh, well yeah I mean I knew it wasn't going to be possible in a month! I'm sure if I grit my teeth it'll be done by the end of April!"

So April came along. Tim and I finished the hub area, I got the world portals set up, and eventually we moved to the first level of the game, Shlarp City.

Tim managed to get a decent chunk of the decorative props done, but circumstances were changing and he had a fulltime job in the industry to attend to, so he had to leave the project.

I reasoned "well, I sort of know how to do environment art and I guess I can just go on without help."

Shlarp's greybox was done, and I was sort of happy about the layout. Some friends playtested the game and liked the movement, so I felt a bit more optimistic about the project.

Despite the boost in optimism, I was starting to feel some kind of dread leaking in. My nights were becoming more frantic and troubled, more than they already had been.

I moved onto the next level, reasoning that it'd be best to get the greyboxes for all of the levels finished first, then return for an art pass afterwards. It was the sensible thing to do, after all.

So I began work on Dunbarrow Mines, and this time I was alone. I finished the greybox, and while I wasn't a huge fan of the level, at least it was done. I moved onto Sleepytime Manor and similarly got the greybox finished. Even since the beginning of the month, something was starting to grow inside of me. April was coming to a close, and I still had another level to greybox, a boss fight, secret areas to add, and an art pass on the entire thing. I hadn't really developed much of a game at that point, just 3 barren levels.

And so May came along.

And this was where it all went to hell.

I had been suffering from a lot of issues in my personal life for a while. The year prior had been particularly traumatic and the waves coming from it weren't done passing over yet. If anything the terror was that the major event from the last year hadn't even finished coming to fruition. The stress from everything had caused me to develop a disorder that made my blood acidic, melting away at my nerves. I fought hard and managed to improve my health, but the damage was done and the occasional return of the neuropathy was just a reminder that my life was spiraling downward.

I entered a period of intense stress and depression as waves of terrible memories came over me. I became neurotic. Started having trouble designing levels. It was already an issue for me, but as my mental state deteriorated I was hitting brick walls over and over.

I had my back against the wall. Game development was my only purpose in life, after all. I had been built for it, sacrificed so many hours to it, put everything else aside for it. The only thought going through my head was that I was dying, and that this stupid game was going to be my graveyard.

So roughly two months came by, with sparing work on the game. I finished Monolith station, but it had to be redesigned 3 times to reach the version you currently see in the game today.

The neurosis made me insane. Constantly seeing my peers succeeding while I flailed desperately in a pit was definitely not helping matters.

But something changed in June.

The Garden

I always had an on-and-off again relationship with plants. I had a sort of preternatural skill with growing things, but my interest waxed and waned a lot. The main thing that stuck through this on-and-off relationship were herbs, since they were easy to cultivate and they needed very little maintenance during the periods where I was losing interest.

As I began to take game development more seriously around halfway into 2021, I stopped gardening entirely.

But something very strange happened in the June of 2023. I was frantically compelled to return to it. I raked, toiled and weeded until I had a plot. Then I started buying seeds and began cultivating vegetables again for the first time in 2 years.

And for the first time in this nightmare I was finally happy about something. I don't know what compelled me to start cultivating plants again, but whatever it was, it rescued me from a very long, dark road.

After 2 weeks, I finally finished the final boss of Orbo's Odyssey.

The game needed a lot more work, but I was finally getting a foothold after months of misery.

Eventually my friend Ben was able to help me with the project, and we made a lot of headway. We brainstormed new ideas for how the player could get gear parts. He modeled a load of props. I scripted a load of systems. Finally, the game actually began to look like a game.

Ben was really important. He was optimistic about the project and wasn't suffering from burnout the way I did, and he helped me get out of my fugue. I can't thank him enough for his help.

After around half a year of hammering, we finished the game.

3 weeks after that, we released it to steam.

And about 2 weeks after the release, we're here now.

The Takeaway

Typically in post-mortems you talk about what you would've done differently, but I think this ending might be a bit different.

I'm not really proud of the level design. I think I also could've done better with my share of the environment art in some levels. I think there could've been more details. I think there could've been more content.

But there's no use kicking myself for what could've been. Of course the next game will be better. The mental state I was in during the development of this game was dire and it had a major impact on the quality of my work. I had to break out of a really bad mindset and try to find a better way of engaging with my life. That wasn't easy.

I think some gamers like to imagine that something that's fun to play was fun to make. It's true that sometimes there are moments where you get excited during game development, but at the end of the day the majority of it is just pure work and toil.

In the end, the reviews on Orbo were very kind. Even the negative reviews were at bare minimum sorta funny.

Hilariously the reviews that bothered me the most were actually positive. The perspective of these reviews was that the game was really the story of some little kid taking his thumb out of his mouth and naively making something he thought was fun. It mainly felt like a way for the reviewers to excuse the weaker elements of the game.

These are the reviews I hate the most. I don't care that they were positive. They're infantilizing. It makes it come across as though the shoddier elements of the game weren't a product of a person having a mental breakdown, but of a child smacking blocks together and making mistakes because he didn't know better.

If you really view art like that, I want you to lean in very closely and listen: Most of the time, people suffered to make something you could enjoy. You're welcome to praise or shun the art by itself, but don't patronize the creator for their effort. I didn't have fun making Orbo. I hated it. And even though I hated it I still tried to put passion into it, because I care about my work.

Anyway I'm glad it's over with. If I attempted to develop the game now it would probably be significantly better, but that's mostly because I've found better methods of managing my mental health.

I have to get back to work on Nowhere, and eventually I have to work on Peeb Adventures. For now, though, I'm taking a break. I'm tired.

Before I go I just want to thank some people.

Thank you Ben for being supportive and helping me make this game happen. I couldn't have done it without you, and I mean it.

Thank you Socpens and Grayfruit for streaming the game and for your kind words. It really means a lot to me, and it gave me a lot more confidence about Orbo's Odyssey post-release.

Thank you Tim for helping early on. I know it was a brief period between us, but I do appreciate the work you did.

Thank you (in no particular order) Bryce, Simone, Jett, Aaron, Quinn, Drew, Ian, and Cosme for being supportive of my work.

Thank you for the folks in the private dev server who were particularly supportive as well.

Thanks for reading.

[taurusmoonchild]

Next Gen Trio

I never see this version of a next gen trio but they have always been mine so here is a characterisation that no one asked for.

These three grew up like siblings. Since they were born just within in a month there was truly no world where they wouldn't become inseparable.

I have also written like 3 one shots for them :)

Do you get deja-vu?

"They are gonna be trouble, aren't they?"

'Please just shut up!'

Rose Granger-Weasley

Birthday: November 16th 2005

House: Gryffindor

She's the irresponsible mom of the group who will most definitely get you out of trouble after getting you into it.

She'd rather die than turn in an assignment late and will humble you while checking your essays. In general she is the kind to not have to try too hard to get decent grades but she'll hustle to get excellent ones.

Loves Quidditch and plays as Chaser. As a kid she always dared James to a race, beating him quite a few times despite being 2 years younger than him.

She is more of an extrovert that gets into a fair amount of parties. Socialising comes easy to her and she loves small talk.

Very judgy and petty at times. Loves to argue, but takes a while to see when she was wrong. She'll most likely never apologise first.

In the trio, she's the oldest (barely) and has to make sure people know so. She'd do anything for the other two while also verbally dragging them whenever she gets the chance (in a fun way ofc)

Albus *redacted* Potter

Birthday: November 28th 2005

House: Slytherin

He's the introvert in a family full of extroverts and this trio is no exception. He has to be dragged everywhere and always puts up a fight even though he secretly doesn't mind.

He doesn't care too much about school, but loves Potions and Charms. His grades are fine, but Rose is convinced he would be top of his class if he just tried a little.

He hated being sorted into Slytherin until he found it wasn't at all what he had convinced himself it was. He has found a few friends and gets along with a lot of people.

He tolerates those he doesn't like and just tries to ignore comments that get thrown at him on the daily. Though some of them hurt him more than he'd like to admit.

He's an expert at keeping things to himself causing things to explode when he does say what's bothering him. He also apologises for everything and everyone even when he really shouldn't have to.

In the trio he's the certified middle child who has the ability to ground the other two by playing peace maker. Whenever there is a Hufflepuff and Gryffindor Quidditch match he makes sure to where the colours for both teams.

Louis Weasley

Birthday: December 10th 2005

House: Hufflepuff

An absolute menace to society with a golden retriever energy. He cares a lot about the little things and not enough about the big ones. Including grades.

He's the kindest and most loyal person who's had a crush on the same girl since first year. He will mot give up and is convinced the universe will work it out for him.

Loves to play Quidditch, especially against Rose.

Everyone is convinced there's not a single thing that could ruin his mood because he radiates positive energy.

Sometimes he likes to mess with people and will use his Veela powers to get his way. Which he knows is toxic but he calls it "God's will".

He's a bit cocky (it's giving jock) and doesn't think before he speaks. Though he means well he comes across as too much sometimes, which scares people away.

In the trio he is the instigator who will propose a plan and then won't accept a no. He's also the hugger of the trio, much to the disliking of his companions.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I just saw the Spiderverse Twitter account, and they posted a Happy Birthday post for Miles today. It made me think of your birthday theory, so I guess we finally have an anwser that his official birthday is August 3?

Aaand I got to this late, because the day it was sent I got too busy, and then because it was outside the date I just keep pushing it.

So, now we have Miles' birthday as August 3 (No idea if this was original for the comics or what,) so, just for funzies, let me throw out the other things I collected related to the timeline.

Which I had just given up because there is no fixing on this one.

Let's start with what we have in ITSV.

So I needed to use some photoshop magic to try to make it more visible, but I would not blame anyone for not believing me, but I am pretty sure it says November in this newspaper.

(Smaller for comparison because it is somehow more legible.)

What we can see clearly, is that it was indeed in 2018.

And once you try to piece things with Across the Spiderverse, is when you need to just go with your personal headcanons and concepts because the only one to make this match would be having Miles's universe work with numbers and months in a totally different way (Which is plausible all things considered.)

Here is the only piece of information you actually need to remember because is the only one that is important.

That matters, because aside from being actually spoken about (unlike the dates which could be anything and wouldn't make that much of a difference.) This carries weight in the sense of how Miles has developed as spiderman, as well as more context as to why he is missing everybody else more and more.

Now here is the date we see on ATSV at the beginning of the movie.

July 11 of 2023.

As you can imagine, a year and four months from November 2018 doesn't make July 11 of 2023, heck even only 3 months wouldn't make it go from November to July.

This means if you absolutely want everything to fit, you would need to reorganize Miles' calendar, and how his universe uses numbers (or at least for dates;) which honestly? Could be a rad idea for someone looking for a challenge in worldbuilding, I think trying to create parallel societies where small things are wildly different is fascinating.

Not something I can pull off.

So in my case, I will probably move around any dates for my stories depending on what I need to do; may or may not come up with my own timeline if I need to, but that's it.

I am guessing this may annoy some people, and if I am honest my opinion is: meh.

While details like this normally bother me because I can't justify my way out of this one with headcanons; I am extremely bad myself about establishing timelines; so I feel I can't say much. In all honesty this feels like a minor flaw because those dates aren't even important to the story, they are blink and you miss it details which is why this information wasn't conveyed to the next movie; they weren't meant to be important.

But not gonna lie, I also can't be bothered about this because I had seen, so, SO much worse, than this in comparison feels like a blip in the radar.

What to know what is pain on a timeline? Rick Riordan books.

[preservationofnormalcy]

OOC: How do you decide what does/doesn't get posted? I've sent a few asks that haven't been posted and I'm curious to know if it's because there was something off about them or there's just a big backlog.

The biggest factor is, yeah, there’s a huge backlog and I work full time. When I do sit down and queue up asks, I usually try and answer from oldest to newest. I think I’m generally up to late October, early November of last year.

If I’m at work on mobile, because the ask interface on the mobile app is not very good, I’ll sometimes answer more recent ones just because those are easier to access. I’ve been ameliorating that by putting several old asks at a time into drafts, but that only helps a little. And sometimes I’ll see a more recent ask that I really feel the creative urge to answer, so I’ll break pattern for that.

I’d say like 15-20% of everything I receive are something I immediately know I’m not going to answer. Whether it’s just a little bland, maybe it’s a repeat of something I’ve done before, very specifically doesn’t fit the lore, more sexually suggestive than I’d like, or are somewhat mean spirited. It’s in the small minority - most things I get I can “feel” some way to sink my teeth into them, so to speak.

It’s a little ironic - on days I feel good I’ve queued up 8-9, I will log back on and see the little number by my inbox say “10” or something. I absolutely do not say this to complain, it’s just kind of funny. Got two more as I was writing this actually. It’s something I’m really not sure how to respond to, aside from chewing through them slowly.

I also do work on other creative stuff for this on and off. Jenny’s writer and I are working on something big for next month and something else big tbd, need to work on that, and I’m pretty far along in a second “set” of poster designs.

Hopefully none of this came across as defensive or rude. I’m (jokingly) suffering from success, and I wish I could just answer asks as a part time job.

[comma-souptra]

Last summer I studied abroad and shared a house with (among many people) a trans masc guy who had top surgery. I was very freshly on T and just starting to explore how much transition I really wanted to undergo while still being very scared of Change and how much of it transitioning would bring me. I felt like I had to be absolutely sure I wanted any of the elements of transition I chose to undergo because so much of my (US) medical system around trans health care does not leave room for you to be uncertain, you often have to fight desperately to be taken seriously in your transition.

I was on a walk with this guy and some friends, and we were talking about tattoos we wanted. I mentioned a sternum tattoo idea I had, and he asked me flat out “do you want top surgery?”. I said “oh my god, who knows, why would you ask me that?” in all my transgender panic and fear, and he just kind of laughed and said “I was only gonna say, they worked around my sternum tattoo when I got mine. So you should be fine if you get that one.”

I asked him “how did you know you wanted top surgery?” as we walked together. To my very deep shock, he said he wasn’t sure, he had just decided to make the necessary appointments and go. If it ever felt wrong or like he wasn’t ready, he would just stop. The obvious caveat here is that we are from two different countries with very different health care systems, but the fact that he had started this (to me) daunting process without complete assuredness and had made it out the other end happier and beautiful was mind altering to me.

Later in our trip, me offered to show me his chest and the results of his surgery. I stood in my room and he stood in the door way, back to the hall as our housemates walked by, and lifted his shirt to me, grinning. I said “you kept your nipples!” and he laughed. It was clear the rest of our house (functionally, all cisgender) were a bit confused by what was going on. I hadn’t necessarily been as vocally and openly trans as him, but it was clearly something transgender.

All this to say, I have an appointment scheduled for my top surgery consultation in November. I’ve upped my T dosage twice over the past year. I’ve been binding since I was twelve and have craved masculinization since puberty, of course I wanted top surgery! I’ve been thinking a lot this pride month about the phrase “don’t die wondering” and how hard it is to follow when you don’t see grown queer people that reflect who you could be. This guy was only four years older than me, but he was living this adult life I hoped to live and doing so in a body he created just by trying out what felt right and seeing if it stuck.

So I’m going to the top surgery consult, and I got on full dose T instead of hiding behind low dose. And I’m changing my name and figuring out what sounds right because I don’t want to die wondering! And it’s my one silly little life in this body as this person, and I’ve seen that it can be done. So thank you to my housemate, and I am very much looking forward to being even more transgender next pride month <3

[marcelwrites]

I got to work and felt nauseous and miserable. I've started offering Friday Happy Hour(s) and it's been busy since that's started. So I'm making cocktails and feeling close to throwing up. Busy. Really busy. I can't emphasise how busy it was except to say I made close to fifty cocktails in the space of an hour. I head home on break feeling like death warmed over. I sit down and start eating some lentil and vegetable stew. About halfway through eating I start feeling better, perking up a little. By the time I walk back through the door to the cocktail lounge feels like I've got the biggest, swingingest cock in the world. Absolutely cranking the tunes, Veruca Salt, Bikini Kill, Pixies, Nirvana, etc., until I the last patrons leave at about 9pm. I head home pretty early soon after. Apart from the disgusting nausea, it was a pretty good day. I also picked up my tickets for Pearl Jam and The Pixies in November, not sure if I want to go to the Saturday show or the Monday one, will possibly make up my mind at a later date, or I could just go to both? Also in the process of scoring a dear friend a ticket for Sunami + Big Boy on the 13th of June. It's an all ages show which usually have more energy than 18+ shows. The teenagers bring a lot of good vibes to Hardcore shows, probably a lot of ketamine too lmao. IDLES next January too. The next 12 months are going to be fucking fun.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Donald Trump rushed to distance himself from the Republicans’ highly controversial Project 2025 Friday, calling parts of it “ridiculous and abysmal.”

The ex-president used his Truth Social platform to disavow the platform, drawn up by the Heritage Foundation, which offers a 900-page preview of how the most powerful think-tank in the conservative movement wants him to govern. He acted three days after the man who drew it up told Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast, “We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be.”

Among Project 2025’s most controversial–and potentially electorally costly–plans are restricting access to contraception; using the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) for heightened “abortion surveillance”; and revoking a Department of Defense policy funding travel for abortion. It calls the line-up of policies “Restoring the Family as the Centerpiece of American Life.”

But Trump posted on his platform, “I know nothing about Project 2025. I have no idea who is behind it. I disagree with some of the things they’re saying and some of the things they’re saying are absolutely ridiculous and abysmal. Anything they do, I wish them luck, but I have nothing to do with them.”

The move suggests that Trump’s aides are concerned that Democrats have been able to insert Project 2025 into the public mind and associate Trump with its most radical ideas, at a time when the Republican Party should be on the front foot. Trump has had a poll boost from the crisis in Joe Biden’s presidency caused by his stumbling debate performance, but there are concerns in his campaign that a focus on abortion policy would give Democrats a potent weapon.

Democrats pounced on Trump’s statement on Friday, using it as an opportunity to continue to try and tie the two together.

“Donald Trump and Project 2025 are one big MAGA operation, coordinating on an extreme blueprint to rip away freedoms and undermine democracy — and they’ve made it clear themselves,” a DNC spokesperson said, adding: “Trump can’t hide his ties to the dangerous, unhinged MAGA loyalists at Project 2025, and the American people will stop them at the ballot box in November.”

The Heritage Foundation tried to pre-empt any Republican fallout from Trump’s disavowal, saying in a statement on Friday the group doesn’t speak for any presidential candidate.

“We are a coalition of more than 110 conservative groups advocating policy & personnel recommendations for the next conservative president,” the group’s Project 2025 X account posted. “But it is ultimately up to that president, who we believe will be President Trump, to decide which recommendations to implement.”

Trying to throw Project 2025 overboard matches recent rhetoric from Trump on abortion, where he has attempted to navigate between his base’s fundamentalist anti-abortion position and the reality that there is wide popular support for pro-choice policies. Notably, on Tuesday, the Trump campaign released a version of its plans for the party platform at the Republican National Convention this month without making any mention of abortion. At the same time, Trump has tried to claim that “everybody” wanted Roe v. Wade overturned and abortion policy returned to the states. And his promise of a clear abortion policy has been coming for many months; it was, for example, due “on Monday morning” according to a Sunday April 8 post on Truth Social.

Project 2025 was created by Kevin Roberts, the Heritage Foundation’s president, who was lambasted this week as “a coward” by MSNBC’s Joe Reid for his veiled threat of bloodshed. “He’ll be at a country club somewhere, golfing, while the real violent people, the armed people, the Proud Boys types, do the actual dirty work,” she said on her show, The Reid Out.

Other aspects of Project 2025 include making it possible for Trump and his aides to fire tens of thousands of government workers by ending their protection from political interference. The idea is based on claims that a “deep state” is trying to prevent Republicans enacting their policies, but it would then allow Trumpworld to stuff their followers into government positions.

Trump’s claim that “I know nothing” of the people drawing up Project 2025 echoes his long history of denying that he knows people with whom an association might be damaging. Among those he has denied knowledge of are white supremacist David Duke; the Proud Boys; never-Trumper George Conway whose wife Kellyanne was his campaign manager; jailed 2016 campaign aide George Papadopoulos, whom he had previously called “excellent”; and most expensively of all, E. Jean Carroll. Despite being adjudicated to have sexually assaulted her by a New York jury, he has continued to claim not to know the former advice columnist, to whom he has been ordered to pay $83.3 million in damages for defaming on top of $5 million for the sexual assault.

[elialys]

Channeling positive energy for 2024

I have been very listless for at least the last couple of years (if not since 2020 and the whole pandemic mess), resulting in a pretty rough depressive episode that peaked this last November. It's hard to feel motivated to do anything concrete to improve your own life when everything around you is just...bleak. And this world does suck so much, so often, in so many ways.

But then I remember how I innately believe that most people are good, and that I am good, too, and that the one thing that always makes me feel better when I'm low is to do something helpful for someone, or to just be kind if I don't have the spoons for more.

(Putting this big ramble under read more)

I think I've mentioned it here before but I've made the decision to try and get into a new field of work, which involves at least two if not three years of studying. Let me tell you, I'm about to turn 36 in a couple of weeks. It's scary as fuck to do something like this. But this job, if I get into the school I need to get into, will be perfect for me. I'll be helping people who need guidance and compassion basically every day.

The bond I got to build with my students was my absolutely favorite part of teaching, but I got overwhelmed by everything else. I burned myself out in less than four years because I became a workaholic who worked 70 hours a week, never took a breath, tried tried tried, yet never felt like I was doing enough. The pressure was incredible, the 'I have to be around hundreds of people every single day', performing in front of entire classrooms full of kids 6h a day'...it just wore me down. Loved my kiddos to death, loved my science team so much, but then the pandemic hit and I lost a few family members within a few months, and I realized it was time for me to go home after 12 years abroad.

The meanest part of my brain likes to tell me I've spent the last four years being basically a useless human blob, but realistically, I know I wasn't. I had been working my ass off since 2011, when I was in America nannying two young kids all day long then going to school full time at night/weekends, before being hired as a teacher in England for 4 years.

I needed the break, I needed time with my loved ones. I needed to help grieving family members, especially my little sister with ASD, who had to learn to navigate life without her mom, who also developed epilepsy on top of everything else while our father pretended nothing was happening. I needed to spend time with my grandmother, who did so much for me when I was young and who's all alone, now. I'll even go as far as saying I've been working on fixing things with my mother this past year living with her, which was not an easy thing. Still isn't, but it's so much better than it used to be, and she's trying, too.

But I'm ready to get my life "back on track", or at least, to get busier , more proactive, more helpful to others who aren't in my inner circle, because I know that's what I'm good at, and why I'm here.

So, yeah, channeling positive thoughts for 2024. I'm not only going to work on getting into that school in the next few weeks, I also just received an email a couple days ago from an editor I used to work with. She's a writing director somewhere else now, and they need writers for a new webcomic project; she told me she immediately thought of me because they'd always been happy with my work, so I'm going to test for that, too, because why the hell not. Actually getting paid for the stuff I was writing a couple of years ago was the most surreal, rewarding experience of my writer life, and I wouldn't mind that happening again.

I want to give the biggest shoutout to my best friend & other butt cheek, @melusine0811, for helping me navigate those last four years, for always believing in me, and for being so fucking courageous when life is just so damn hard. Lauren, you're the bravest person I know, and forever my Donna Noble.

And because I'm sappy this weekend, awards and all, I'm also sending my thanks to my Australian unicorn, just for existing somewhere out there, for being a role model to me from afar these last thirteen years, for being another perfect example of people persevering no matter what, doing the things they love, while always trying to be kind to others in the process. I don't believe in much, but I believe in karma. You do good deeds, good things will happen to you.

Be kind to each other, my lovelies. Always be kind.

[nakanotamu]

Okay so this is the post about the Stardom stuff going on Right Now. I was gonna put my personal thoughts here too but lmao joke's on me even just this got long enough as well. Honestly I'm glad I waited to actually say anything because Rossy and Bushiroad both ended up talking about it pretty publicly so there's really not that much to speculate on any more. If you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, here's the background post about the past few months/year in Stardom and my own personal thoughts about everything are here.

So, wow. I spent a lot of last year joking "Stardom fire your entire office 2k24", really was not expecting them to actually take me up on it! Bushiroad fire Kidani as well 2k24??? idk if they even can I think he might control too much of the company but I may as well keep swinging while I can

So yeah, apparently immediately after the Osaka PPV last Sunday, February 4th, Bushiroad fired Rossy. On a practical level this isn't really a big change - as I've said before, Rossy was off of booking and apparently not even being listened to since last April at least already, this isn't a huge shake up of Stardom management. What IS a huge shakeup is why.

Bushiroad said they fired Rossy because he was poaching wrestlers & staff from Stardom. Rossy denies this, but has confirmed he is starting a new promotion. Which, first and foremost from me, I'm glad we can immediately put the WWE rumours to bed. Rossy says he told Bushiroad in November that he would not re-sign his contract with them in March since he wasn't being listened to anyway and told the staff and some wrestlers this and that he was thinking of starting a new promotion. Bushiroad claims he was deliberately poaching from them. Honestly, given the state of Bushiroad management, I could absolutely see them just being completely caught off guard by how many of the roster want to leave and freaking out, but we'll probably never know the truth of the matter.

It is confirmed that some of the Stardom roster are not re-signing with Stardom and are planning to join Rossy's new promotion. Bushiroad came out and openly said that, including some top names and even current title holders. That a number of people will be leaving is for sure happening. We do know for sure Mayu is the only person definitely contracted to Bushiroad later than March, as the movie about her comes out in May, but it seems likely she leaves after that. EDIT to add that a couple days later Tam said openly that she is staying with Stardom as well but I'm not gonna keep updating this every time someone says something new. Anything beyond that about who exactly is leaving or how many is pure speculation. I've seen everything from only one or two people leaving to close to a 50/50 split to only one or two people staying. We'll know in a month or two.

I think it's also worth remembering while WON is writing about this however much and the dirtsheets run with things, their source is Literally Just Sonny, who we already know to be both unreliable and Rossy's biggest cheerleader. It doesn't even seem like the wrestlers actually talk to him about it or anything, he just Works There, and more than once he's passed on some story that's gotten out just to then pass on that so-and-so was so mad it got out, on top of the stuff he's just flat wrong about. It just seems like he has a deep need to be An Insider, the kind of guy who actually gets a job in wrestling and uses that for reddit clout, so keep in mind that that's where all of the english "scoops" are coming from. The news for the next however long it's coming solely from him is going to be sensationalized, decidedly anti-Bushiroad and pro-Rossy, and probably try and throw at least a few of the wrestlers who do stay with Stardom under the bus, because that's his MO and we've seen it all before from him. So like, just as usual take everything with the biggest grain of salt you can manage.