#and i mean you can map that onto all kinds of abuse. im far from the first person to point that out. anwyay its another one of those nights

[karinyosa]

if i ever played jesus he would be the slimiest most decrepit doesn’t shower or sleep neurotic unwell emotional roller coaster dissociated from the human form motherfucker ever and if i ever played judas he would be a smarmy twink.

[monchesi]

jim is back w another one...... same goes same goes fr this special liddol muse o mine here... like if u wld like to plot or simply msg me on discord (jimb#4863) n we will get it poppin (pinterest) also frgive me this is gna be more of a blurb type intro than anything i cnt focus atm bt im trying to get something out there in a timely manner

* amanda campana, nonbinary + she/they  |  you know monserrat marchesi, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to underneath it all by no doubt like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole drunk walk home, low rise jeans, pounding headache that starts to feel good once you get used to it thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 11th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

mon has been alone fr as far back as she can remember (bt thts questionable now considering her memory has been gnawed down to the marrow by extensive and continuous use of ecstasy)

(tw abuse) wht she can briefly recollect is tht shes been on the streets since she was 16 n life before tht was desolate n sad. other than tht vague recap.... shes wiped her mind of being physically n verbally abused by her stepdad in a teeny tiny apartment in florida fr several yrs (since she was an infant) n all throughout it was never defended by her mom. in fact in her preteens her mom decided to jump in on it out of a warped jealousy she developed over the years in which she felt her husband was paying more attention to treating her daughter like garbage instead of her so she jst.... began including herself in the mistreatment mon was getting n basically verbally harassing her every day after school....... it worked in terms of forming a bond between her parents in a sick n worrying way bt was so so so crippling n horrible to mon

so wht really matters is whts in the present. dont even think abt learning much of her backstory because she cant recall any of her childhood except for those small granules tht lead to nowhere / provide no better understanding of who she is today n just send her spiraling since none of it makes any sense anymore. i think the one moment she will never b able to erase frm her mind however is when he (stepdad) smashed his cigarette into her mac n cheese n told her to eat it. she just sat and stared at it and cried

(tw homelessness) mon doesnt even remember running away. she mightve been dropped off fr all she knows.... cant pin any of her memories of going to school as a kid down even..... has kind of been an unidentifiable blip on the map since becoming homeless

tht being said... without a parent or guardian shes been fending fr herself n was a street rat fr such a long time. doesnt hav a drivers license or a ssn or even any form of ID. no credit card or debit card. knows her name n date of birth n buys flip phones frm the grocery store to keep in contact w people xx pays in all cash n coins xoxo

jump to now.... mon is technically homeless bt is content. lives on the beach n is more than happy with it. sometimes just sleeps on the sand bt has a trailer parked underneath a dock thts been getting threatened to be removed fr months now (she dsnt care). its decorated with all types of lights that shes found thrown out or at the thrift store n it glows so bright u can see the neon colors thru the boards of the dock above it. has lawn chairs in frnt of the door n a big cartoonish padlock on the door. she wears the key arnd her neck

(tw affair mention) personality wise shes vry naive n playful. part of this is the E bt a lot of it is wanting to feel like life is worth living even in the rough parts — shes found tht tht aspect of her can also be misconstrued as carefree n has gotten mingled with a handful (or three) of men tht take advantage of her untroubled nature to forget all of their responsibilities. at the moment she has an ongoing affair w a married man named hank who helps her stay on her feet by giving her money every month or two in an envelope with a big wax stamp on it. its nothing major bt it helps

(tw sexual content + drug use) mon kind of has a reputation bt i dont think shes aware of it. im sure a lot of locals bully her or pick on her fr it behind her back.... they kind of mistake her for a bit of a nymphomaniac bt she doesnt consider it tht way at all. things jst spun out of control the more n more she was using E (and other similar drugs) to get by n now being reliant on it she just gives in to urges n will sleep w just abt anyone. it turns out fine most of the time bt sometimes she just crashes on the way to their place n becomes this vacant girl tht doesnt speak or do much of anything. in one of these instances she n some dude were abt to hookup bt she crashed on the way to his apartment n he pulled ovr n pushed her out of the passengers seat onto the sidewalk. she jst laid there until the morning w her heels kicked off n scrapes all over her elbows n knees

so shes known fr many of these instances.... security guards finding her sprawled out on the asphalt of a parking lot or at the bottom of a staircase of a motel she doesnt know. its rly depressing

ANYWAY........ moving on from this sad sad sad stuff.... mon is notably a lovebug shes vry sweet n kind n she works shifts at fannies every two weeks or so / whenever ppl call out. she loves ppl she loves partying n dancing n she is fun. has no defined sexuality n questions gender a lot so considers herself nonbinary bt uses she/her/they/them. a bit odd and kind of unaware of wht is appropriate n what isnt (several instances of wearing bikinis n a pair of sneakers to shop for a loaf of bread n some lemonade) bt she means well

has a black kitten named shanks tht she litchrally considers her child. takes better care of him than she takes of herself n brings him places cradled in her arms like a baby

anywho..... i rly recommend checking out mons pinterest tht i linked up there i feel like mayb having visuals of the vibe will help piece together her personality xoxoxo

anyway..... give me ALL the plots ANY plot u cld ever want i will hand to u in a matter of seconds the writing will just manifest at my will..... i still have a lot of things to figure out with mon bt i love her n i hope u all will too

[biologybrat]

nine

9. why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

well! for dave, i really was enthused about the idea of playing a character who was interested in what i was, somewhere where i could happily babble about the things i love and really indulge in that longwinded, metaphor laden, souped up sort of style that i naturally fall into but have to curb for yknow, claritys sake quite a lot of the time or ease of communication: and that isn’t as appreciated on other muses because (elliot voice) he’s a strider. he’s allowed to talk. let him babble!! cause you kind of expect daves to be chatty, yknow what i mean? 

i don’t have other muses who are into the same things as dave is, like, i have an oc who’s very into environmental sciences, but even then, she’s very woodland oriented and not super applicable: whereas i have more free range with dave because my god, dave striders morbidity and jade harleys general scientific and gadgetry combined is like, the IDEAL, the only thing he’s missing is a little side of ai personhood questioning and delving into the human psyche, but he’s really nailed my special interests that range between “the interactions between humanity and their environment, primarily lensed in with a medical and morbid flair, and ransacking the hell out of history for fun facts about development” 

and it’s just… fun writing dave? he’s CHATTY, like my oc is, but he’s also just way more upbeat and loving, and explores themes of vulnerability but at his core is just… a good guy. a good guy who just wants to be loved, and who has some very sweet ideas about what constitutes love and man, he’s as in love with the universe as i am: he’s head over heels for science, the labor of love it is, the discipline, the rigour you have to exercise with it: and he’s very playful and whimsical about that (re: rekitting out a purple fitbit from a cereal box, or tracking his island just to have a pop up map of where frogs n bug friends are LOL) and of COURSE i’m just homestuck trash at heart who LOVES writing muses with my best fucking friend ahahah even if pubby drags me on main all of the time

to put it shortly: special interest man 9000. 

for my oc, although she’s shelved and on my backburner at the moment as academia grinds me into the fucking dirt and i just need to take a couple steps back from her because she is an intense muse to play, claudia explores several themes that resonate with me deeply? the after effects of childhood abuse and how that permeates your identity even as you grow older, and learning how to come to terms with who you’re growing into. the concept of the “idealistic” and the “messy” survivor and what its like to be considered a worse survivor for how you coped.  the idea of family being found, that family is intensely, deeply important due to a lack of having it as a child. how people in your life can change you, for better, or for worse: but how they’re a part of your story too. a love and appreciation for nature: for it’s brutality, the nature’s maw that dave speaks of is very much so present in her as well. being smaller than your anger, and learning self control because without it its so easy for you to hurt other people, intentionally or not. learning how to shed unhealthy ideals even if they’re what got you this far because you can change, you don’t have to be static: and learning how to take personal responsibility and exercise empathy? she also dabbles around with my own cultural background because i felt like that sort of accurate representation was important, and i saw like, 0 of it in any media reflected around me?so, succinctly: (elliot voice) fine bih im taking unexplored themes into my own grubby paws. 

my dirk and my AR are primarily reserved just for pubby over discord these days and theyre on and off muses, but dirk was always meant to be an exploration into reconciling what you are taught with what you experience, in particularly towards morality: (being lawful does not make something good) as well as struggling with emotional articulation and gradually learning how to… fucking show you care about people, dirk! (he cares deeply for his friends, but he’s terrified and awkward about emotions, which uh, big mood.) he also was the OG look into “usefulness = value” that capitalism beats people over the head with that dave struggles with, because they have a hard time finding inherent value in themselves for yknow, being living, breathing human beings who enrich the lives of others who love them deeply, and so default to acts of service to try to… validate themselves and the things they have in their life? also, personal responsibility again: i tend to have a few central themes you’ll find a lot in my writing, and growing into that arc is a BIG one, because it… can be scary, acknowledging your mistakes, faults, and flaws: but you gotta fucking do it sometime, yknow? dirk absolves his through religion, rather than family like claudia does, and dave doesn’t have it as bad, but would pin it onto his loneliness growing up, and AR is anger at the mechanisms behind his existence and dirk “stealing” his life from him.

tl;dr: emotionally constipated man 9000my AR was a convoluted character, i never really wrote villains before but? he was a deep trawl into identity issues, and the idea of humanity = personhood and all the ways that that sentiment is outdated and to be honest, kinda fucked up hahaha, i have a lot of strong feelings about AI characters and philosophy surrounding death / life, and AR was poking into “so what does happen to a thirteen year old dirk who just wakes up in shades and has to watch the “real dirk” take over his life?” and the deep set hurt of rejection from everyone around you as well? really about “so you give this guy an idealistic life and then tear everything about it away from him AND taunt him with the shadows of it on the wall and no means of making his own new start, whats left” as well as a general conscience foil to dirk: AR is angry, AR is inhuman, but AR is more genuinely emotional and lovable than dirk is, the stony monolith of a man he is, and… AR’s anger is rooted in some pretty fucking valid stuff? the way he goes around dealing with it isn’t, healthy in the slightest, but i always thought anger was an interesting narrative to explore and he and dirk really resonate with each other because theyre in this stupid fucked up cat and mouse game of revenge cycles that really does neither of them good, that hinders both of them: they both use each other to hurt themselves, even as they lash out at the other, and AR really manifests that inability to both take responsibility for your own life but also to let go of resentments that hurt you more so than help you, and how in blind pursuit of vengeance you really lose a lot of yourself and out on a LOT of really GOOD things that would be so much better to nourish with that same effort (in the style of macbeth and hamlet and their own arcs)tl;dr: angry robot baby