#and i still have a shift tomorrow
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obligatory kh1 Paopu tree scene redraw
og under cut <3
#click for better quality as always#this is so messy but it was so fun#ITS ALSO LIKE SOMEHOW THE FIRST TIME IVE PROPERLY DRAWN KAIRI <3 SORRY GIRL IDK HOW IT TOOK THIS LONG#i wanted to shift this a lil more toward my style but other than riku i got kinda lazy icl ASKDNKJASNDKJSN#yes the bg is a bunch of squiggles. no i have not drawn a bg in several years. no i do not care. dont @ me#still tryna figure out how to shade on krita#ALSO ACTIVELY SPREADING DESTINY TRIO FRECKLE PROPAGANDA !!!!!!!!!#blue eyed freaks. miss them <3#Sora's hair i hate drawing u but its so iconic#not intended sorikai but do what u want !!!#this was soooo fun to do#i should do more redraws and drawovers#drawing is so fun but beware. time will pass#it is (checks watch) 3:30am#well im gonna have a lovely sleep gn guys LMAO#i cant tell if i like the end product tbh so this either will be here tomorrow or it will disappear ig#but again it was so fun to do#OK ENOUGH TAGGS BYBYE#kingdom hearts#destiny trio#destiny islands#kh1#kh sora#beverly says stuff#kh kairi#kh riku#soriku#kairi kingdom hearts#riku kingdom hearts#sora kingdom hearts
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moo for me babygirl
#spiderman across the spiderverse#the spot#johnathan ohnn#jonathan ohnn#whadda hell which one is it#iloart#atsv spoilers#idk!!!#hes hard to draw cuz i have stupid high expectations (:D) for my art and still struggling to draw AND those are not the guidelines i use!!#i stupidly agreed to a shift tomorrow since were getting ANOTHER important visit so drawing him in a skimpy cow costume will have to wait#i fell so hard and so fast yall i didnt stand a chance 😭😭😭😭#oh im gonna hate this and myself tomorrow lmao. gnight
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he got arrested :/
#reemerging a month later to post another random fanart of my 90s au that builds slower than my skills in drawing#which is saying a lot because I still have no idea what I'm doing but hey. now it's colored!#brought to you by: my stubbornness. its 2am rn and I have a night shift tomorrow so I have to get used to staying up til dawn#I know the lines are messy and its /a lot/ but I just cant do simplified anything. hopefully I'll learn later on#btw this scene is supposed to be in the very beginning. right as he comes back from being drafted - he gets into a fight. as one does#he's not gonna get charges though. it's the post-soviet-type chaos we're talking about. that's also why the jacket is too big on him#I think the colors are weird but thats what you get when you dont learn color theory ig#voltron#vld#keith kogane#voltron legendary defender#keith vld#my art#brother 1997#gonna hide under a rock now. bye
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my job is gonna make me buy a watch isn't it 😭
#to be clear I've actually been.... meaning to buy a watch#bc i actually liked having one but it broke#but i have been.... procrastinating it#however the new shit im doing requires me to know what time i start and stop things :')#and like yeah i do have my phone but also i very much try not to pull it out mid-shift bc while I'm sure#that my new supervisor guy would understand that I'm just checking the time#i still remember seeing people walked out of the building for being in their phones on the clock#and i would very much like to remain employed#so... new watch it is#i should....... i should go ahead and do that shouldn't i#Walmart is right next door but that means getting up+dressed+going out+all that in reverse as well#ough#ill do it after i get off tomorrow#i can make it 1 shift with just using my phone + the computers around the factory right?#shh ac
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maybe if im really careful i can have a job again! [the little graph in my head demonstrating how likely i am to kill myself at any given moment spikes up 30%] hmm. Well
#its 2 days a week its 5 hours a shift its not a difficult job and i dont have to be around people for it#why. am i still. like this. why do i still want to die#personally#suicide tw#clinging so tightly to 'dont believe anything your brain says after 9 pm'#maybe the sun tomorrow morning will fix me#vent post#IM FINE THO. IM FINE. PASSIVE SUICIDAL#NO ONE PANIC
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for so long all I wanted to do was die but now that I'm older, all I worry about is dying too soon. too soon to experience all the things I didn't give myself time for when I was young. I don't want to spend these years overthinking what time I have left
#[static]#wild how the brain shifts#i want to live i want to experience everything i can and i never thought i'd make it this long#my brain has done a 180 and it's always on the back of my mind (and sometimes the front) that i could die in the blink of an eye#im not scared of death but i am scared of not having lived#my ptsd/ocd combo has been pummeling me lately and i feel like im sometimes at a breakthrough where ive figured out a way-#-to stop being scared ... to just allow myself to live without the what ifs.#i do it in practice but the reality is that no matter how nonchallant and down to earth I appear in real life-#-my brain is picking apart the resolve i've carefully put together for myself#it's like constantly picking at a wound that's begun to heal and i cant get myself to stop#it's Exhausting having to continuously catch ones self from falling further back down the hole your younger self dug#im finally living as the person i always wanted to be and nothing can take that from me even if it were to all come crashing down tomorrow#but im still not used to the stability so that's why my brain does what it does best#what's three or four years of stability to decades of being in fight or flight ... it will take time and it's hard work#but i know with time it will be worth it and i wont remember the dread in the back of my skull every time i experience happiness#i'll just remember the days as they were ... and they are wonderful#just needed to vent for a moment! mental health is such a surly thing
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resisting the urge to make yet another osmt oc.....
#i know i've technically made a few already but they're more like... npc ocs if that makes sense??#like they're only really important bc they're connected to another main oc ( like kuroba's family + store staff )#i'm feeling the urge to make another main oc to play with....#* looks at some of my old ocs i could retool into osmt ocs * HMMMMMM...#idk i'll sleep on it#i thought i had a morning shift tomorrow but i guess not??#whatever this shift kicked my ass so i'm still going to go lay down#at least tomorrow's shift ends at 6:30. hopefully i'll have some energy after it 😭#i wanna work more on the outfit asks...#mj rambles
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Oh I'm not gonna survive the weekend
#i am more than halfway through this overtime shift and already my feet are driving me insane#and i still have my regular 3 12 hour shifts starting tomorrow#at least i should be able to see someone about this next week 💀
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I'M DONE WITH SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL FOR THE SEMESTER YAHHHHHHHHHHH
#Still have to work for another week but with my last exam done I am a whole 98% less likely to kms#We'll see how tomorrow goes tho hdjdhshs#God I gotta wake up at 6am to work until ~5pm and then pull an overnight shift and then PACK TO LEAVE#I can't do this why can't my things just evaporate I don't need them
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1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<
#blabbering#idk who even cares or knows what I'm talking about; but I just wanna talk about what's on my mind somewhere; even if it's to no one#I just haven't had much confidence in art or gaming prowess lately; but I'm still trying#I mean I haven't had much to begin with; but it's just tanked worse lately bc I'm probably just burnt out from work and need a break#I just wanna do fun stuff with friends; but I'm constantly plagued with conflicting schedules (aka the quintessential adult experience lol)#but at least after I'm done this thing I meant to do simply and quickly (but wound up taking way longer than I thought) I'll be happy#i just can't make myself really do anything else until it was done bc it would keep looming over my head and I need it done for reasons#at least tomorrow is a nice short day in the timeframe I like; so I'll be in higher spirits#lol sorry I've been complaining so much lately alskjdflsf. I just don't have anyone to talk to about random stuff on my mind lakjdlf#anywho bed time and then short shift and then FREE FOR THE WEEKEND + Friday :catjam:#also I think I have seasonal allergies again (no idea what from lol)#and i also stubbed my toe multiple times last week and it's still a bit swollen and hurts to put pressure on one part (bone bruise maybe)#my life is an exciting adventure that's for sure (I guess yesterday absolutely counts for negating my sarcasm here lmao whoops)
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it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food
#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail#Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate#and they don't get much beyond the base rate#whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm#and sunday is significantly more)#and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july#bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot#whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁#which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw#like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food#even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that#like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail#but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age#bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay#let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before#and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more#so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively?#and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts?#but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little#but i also really want the experience and to just try it out#im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will#take a while#so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list#yes that sounds like a solid plan#whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'
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#gonna ramble about irl here so people don't have to read it unless they want to#so because I got covid and couldn’t leave my bed I've essentially lost my job#I've told my manager I'm okay to go back to work#even if my body is still sore#but she's only given me a 3 hour shift a week#and you guessed it!#it's the late shift#the one where it takes me almost 2 hours to get home from#she's being so petty with me#and I am so behind in rent#I've applied for government assistance and I have a meeting with them tomorrow#I really hope they can help because I feel awful#I'm also annoyed at myself because I can't find my knee brace ANYWHERE#I thought I could find one for around $10 but nope!#the closest stores selling them are like $25+ so that's fun#I don't know when I'll be able to draw again#I'm so stressed again about money and secueing work#hopefully once I can get govt assistance at least I can enjoy life again#also I tried to ask the zine that still owes me money if they could finally send payment but they still keep delaying it with excuses#I'm so desperate it's shameful
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gonna crash so hard today lolololol (<- not laughing)
#at uni from 8 am. clinical lab first thing in the morning#4 lectures and population med lab#finish that up and then i have a night shift at the hospital im volunteering at right after and i'll be there till 8pm#and i still havent even started on my pbl presentation due tomorrow#👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 ya Allah
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can someone remind me to write up my thoughts about gallagher and the enigmata later or at least compile them somewhere i want to share it but also my Goodness i am sleepy as heck today and i have work tonight 😔
#and its a saturday so its gonna be busy asldfjkasdlkah#im just. im so sleepy man#and i have to wake up early too for work tomorrow so i just. Im going to Die between today and tomorrow count on it#but at least on monday-wednesday ill make myself catch up on sleep#love the work but on the downside MY SLEEP.....#i forgot if i said it here. idk where i was posting bro#but the other day i 100% the theme park and am close to 100% dewlight pavilion so i'll be nearly caught up with all information#that + still need to read#but im also nearly caught up with all the reading in penacony too so thats super fun and exciting !!#but because of that i have thoughts askjdfalh#most of it is towards gallagher and the past of penacony and the watchmaker but. you know alskdjfalskjh#avil plays hsr#hsr 2.1 spoilers#just in case o7#i will say though#its wild i havent run into any information regarding the dreammaster at all really#the one who adopted sunday and robin#who is the dreammaster? why does the dreammaster and watchmaker have beef with each other? whats going on?#where did the shift come from between the watchmaker being the father of penacony to the family being in charge#since the family and the watchmaker are kinda against each other#(shakes the game) I WILL KNOW YOUR SECRETS SOON ENOUGH. AS SOON AS I AM MORE AWAKE ITS OVER FOR YOU.#i wish i had someone to ramble about ideas with and like bounce off of#WE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF PENACONY! TOGETHER!#and then probably get our asses killed too by getting to close to the legacy 😔✌🏼 itd be the way of the truth
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never been so glad not to work a friday
#op works at a record store#our delivery of the new t sw*ft album is coming in TOMORROW#during RECORD STORE DAY#never been so pissed i have to work a saturday#tomorrow is gonna be hell and i dont mean that lightly#i am Not Excited#fuck off lou#my post#like listen i love my job#but the least enjoyable aspect of it is customer service#and i am working for nine hours tomorrow#NINE#8-5 shift#fucking gross#still#at least when its over i wont have to dread anything until like. november
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I'm a bit behind now, but here's day 3 of Risecember:
The theme was "Elf," and who better than Donnie? After all, elves make all the toys.
(Who knows what this mad scientist has made for his family, though)
Day 4 is the one I need to catch up on, and since it's 1 am now, I need to do day 5, too. But I'll catch up.
#Risecember#day 3#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#Day 4 will feature Raph#Still using backgrounds from google...BUT!#I drew Donnie freehand (using references but still!)#No tracing!#I'm so proud of myself. Even if his arms/hands are a little wonky and he looks a bit chunky#I still did it all on my own#This is turning out to be pretty fun#I have no idea what I'm going to do for some of these later prompts though...#Guess I'll cross those bridges when I get to them#Anyway#It's late and I have an early shift tomorrow so...#Goodnight!#My art
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