#and i'm so glad that quality was taken into account in the show

[markiafc]

to fulfill my promises to @ananeiah and to expound on @seventh-fantasy's post, there are many conceptions of enlightenment. because buddhism is a massive and old religion with a very robust canon, enlightenment goes by many names, it's articulated and imagined in many different ways. let's play the game of how many of them are adopted by the show...

popular metaphors that embody enlightenment include a refuge, a flame going out, or a firm island - because this world is often described as an ocean. all human beings are floating in the 生死苦海 sea of rebirth and suffering. to escape it, one must make their way to the island or to get on a boat. mahayana buddhism (aka. chinese buddhism) is literally named 大乘 the great vehicle, the primary idea being that enlightenment = to board a vehicle of transport, it will take you away. however, buddhism doesn't just envision this as an ambiguous vehicle. 乘 the vehicle specifically refers to a 船 boat.

the mortal world and the cycle of suffering is a sea and the way out is enlightenment, envisioned as a boat.

an extension of this is the concept of 彼岸 the faraway shore (alt tl: the further shore, the distant shore, the other shore, or at times the opposing shore). it draws on the same notion of 苦海 the ocean of suffering. to achieve enlightenment is to swim to shore, where there is finally safety and stability, free from suffering. this is why the euphemism for enlightenment is to 度到彼岸 reach the faraway shore.

此岸 this shore, is this ever-changing world full of agonies. you wade across the 苦海 sea of suffering, and reach 彼岸 the faraway shore. this is enlightenment.

as @seventh-fantasy depicts in this post, the final shot of ep 40, and as seen in the bonus ep 40.5, this is where llh is. ep 40 ends with the camera moving further into the distance, moving further into the sea. and the bonus ep 40.5 makes it clear again that lxy/llh has found his way to a different beach. llh has crossed the sea to another beach. he is on another shore, the 彼岸 faraway shore, far from 东海 the east sea where everyone else is.

let's look even closer at this.

enlightenment is also conceived as a place: 淨土 the pure lands, 极乐世界 the realm of greatest bliss, and so on. one of the geographical markers of this idea is 西 the west. this "land" accessible only to the enlightened (佛 buddhas, 菩萨 bodhisattvas, and 阿罗汉 arhats) is also dubbed 西方淨土 the western pure lands and 西天 the western heavens, etc.

enlightenment is imagined to be westwards. the opposite direction and away from 东海 dong hai = the east sea. where the story began and lxy famously plunged into; he fell into the 苦海 sea of suffering located in the 东 east. from this starting point, llh makes a meandering journey to his final location in the show. he makes his way 西 west, towards enlightenment, and reaches a 彼岸 faraway shore, the enlightened "after" and what is beyond.

now that we're on the topic of the pure lands, it's worth mentioning that this concept is furnished with a lot of descriptions in buddhist sutras. it is a beautiful, glorious land brimming with lotuses. because, of course, the lotus is yet another ubiquitous image that represents enlightenment.

the lotus position is crucial to the buddhist practice of prayer cultivation, especially in 禅宗 zen buddhism that is built around the central practice of prayer. lotuses are motifs in buddhist art, and buddhist myths (the legend goes that lotus flowers bloomed under the buddha's feet when he took his first steps as a child). people practicing buddhism are referred to as 莲友 lotus friends, 芬陀利花 the white lotus is a synonym for the buddha. lotuses are also integral to buddhist canon; the pure lands are detailed to have seven 宝莲池 treasure lotus ponds. every buddhist has their own lotus waiting for them in the pure lands; it is believed the more you cultivate, the more your bud in the pure lands grows/blooms.

of note, every living thing residing in the pure lands are made from lotuses. in fact, buddhist canon states that the enlightened are reborn inside a lotus bud, similar to an incubation. their new body is reconstituted from lotuses and they emerge anew when the bud blooms. crucially, it is also stated that every enlightened in the pure lands will have 莲花座 a lotus seat. this is a vehicle of transport, usually likened to the magic carpet from one thousand and one nights. it is described as 随心所欲、飞翔自在 something that acts after your heart's desire, something that flies free. the lotus seat is about boundless, freeing travel.

this isn't comprehensive at all, there are tons of other ways lotuses come up throughout buddhism. but the connection to the show is straightforward and self-explanatory. the primary motif in 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook is the lotus - a famous marker for buddhism itself. one of the dominant illustrations of enlightenment, the cultivation process to achieve it, and enlightened entities themselves.

the buddhist notions of rebirth are similarly heavily intertwined with the lotus. it is your body; you become it, it becomes you. from then on, you are surrounded by its image and its presence. you even have a lotus vehicle that becomes your main method of travel, a mode of travel defined by carefree contentment. sound familiar? llh's identity and his living carries major markers of enlightenment. it is one of the primary concerns of his character arc.

quick detour. a prominent moniker for enlightenment is the setting of the sun, as yet another epithet utilized by the drama.

detour over. crazy connections time.

discussions of death and suicide is, to my knowledge, particularly prominent in japanese buddhism. but as a whole, a significant portion of buddhist canon and a good number of buddhist media deals with this too. dying as a means to get closer to enlightenment, equating death and enlightenment, the subject of suicide itself. characters seemingly pass away and become enlightened, or characters strive for death with this express purpose as death is connected to enlightenment. this is true. one does not necessarily cause the other, but the concepts are interconnected in buddhism. it comes hand in hand, dissecting one means dissecting the other and vice versa.

most buddhist texts and masters do not condone a direct correlation, suicide is not the way to enlightenment. there is no buddhist value to killing yourself. but the key exception lies in one of the most important buddhist texts: the lotus sutra.

"These include several themes dealing explicitly with death, such as how suicide was committed to speed up rebirth in the Pure Land based on the sanctioning of voluntary death as a superior form of sacrifice in Chapter 23 of the Lotus Sutra ..." [1]

the chapter 23 in question talks about a bodhisattva who turns himself into a human candle and burns himself up, in offering to the buddha. there is more to the story, but it mainly functions as a lesson about cultivation and enlightenment.

in the canon about buddhist suffering, there lies a subset dedicated to physical pain and torment. there is a heavy focus on our 5 senses, specifically (that's a whole separate topic i won't go into here). very briefly, to suffer is to experience the world through our 5 senses. to live as a human being is to suffer in a sensory way.

buddhism aspires to transcend this flesh and blood suffering. so annihilation of one's body is an essential step to achieve enlightenment. usually, this theory centers natural death and decay. you accept that you are always aging, your senses will lose their edge, your body is always subject to illness, injury and other failings. let the body waste away, it will do so regardless.

hence, the human body is set on a course of gradual deterioration. this suffering is processed through our 5 senses and is defined by them. in the face of this, the lotus sutra is the only notable buddhist text that looks kindly upon "voluntary death" to transcend it.

similarly, llh accepts the effects of bicha on his body. it mimics the natural decline of the human body, accelerating the degradation of his senses, his immune system, and his physical capabilities in general. his experience of this form of suffering is also emphasized through a period losing his sense of sight. it is a very buddhist torment. but at the end of the day, it is still a man-made, unnatural cause generating this effect. accepting this is not the same as accepting 生老病死 death via age, sickness and other natural processes.

llh embodies the sentiments and themes in the lotus sutra when he consciously chooses to let bicha run its course. he chooses to die, it is a "voluntary death". let this destroy his body. let this suicidal choice (though its more nuanced than simply suicide imo) free him from buddhist physical suffering. thus bringing him closer to peace, a version of himself that will be happier.

finally, enlightenment is about ambiguity.

凡人 the common people are incapable of comprehending enlightenment. it is understood that the human senses and the human mind is too inept and unrefined, too clouded by illusions, to grasp it. there are a million ways to express it, depict it, and name it. but there is a consensus across buddhism that these are simply aids for the common student of buddhism, and they are not accurate to the truth. at the core of enlightenment is an abstraction, an inherent unknowing.

it is, by definition, a departure and a continuation. it is a removal from this world and a transition into another place, another realm. all at once, the phenomenon straddles a greyness between an ending and a beginning. it is unclear whether the enlightened has left, or is it the common man who is so lacking he cannot recognize or even perceive the enlightened? in the theory of enlightenment, buddhism accounts for both factors. but we will never know for sure.

where do the enlightened go? where are they, where have they gone? these are questions buddhists often ask and explore, and it is also the question that the remaining cast engages with. what is enlightenment, exactly? there is a suspicion, some notion of what must have happened. it might be death, it might not be. only the enlightened can answer this, everyone else is left without clarity.

in the end, the seekers get close to the answer but there is no real fruition. and so the search lasts indefinitely.

that, too, is part and parcel to enlightenment.

as for how enlightenment narratives function, i leave you with this.

"Nirvana provides the full stop (period) in the religious story; it gives what one might call, to use Frank Kermode's well-known phrase, "the sense of an ending" - that is, a real ending and not a mere breaking off. Such an ending is only possible within a narrative.

[...]

Nirvana, I want to suggest, is a moment within a discursive or practical dynamic, a formal element of closure in structure of Buddhist imagination, texts, and rituals. One might say that nirvana has primarily a syntactic rather than semantic value: it is the moment of ending which gives structure to the whole. The fact of narrative structure and closure provides a meaningful and satisfying resolution, although in itself nirvana has merely the formal value of a closure marker.

[...]

Earlier I called nirvana the full stop (period) in the Buddhist religious story; now I can add that it is a full stop in an eternal story, a full stop which brings closure to individual lives in a master text which itself can have no final ending." [2]

Sources:

Tragedy and Salvation in the Floating World: Chikamatsu's Double Suicide Drama as Millenarian Discourse by Steven Heine ↩︎

Nirvāna, Time, and Narrative by Steven Collins ↩︎

[lavandiors]

( 📁 kiss marks. by lee taeyong ＿ ⭐ O1O1 )

where taeyong prefers to smoke away from you, but when that happens, you should always make it clear that he is not alone.

𓍯 . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ─── pairing. lee taeyong x fem!reader. genre. fluff, established relationship and many many kisses. warnings. none i believe.

lily notes. this is my first one shot, and i really hope you like it! soon a little more. <3

you and taeyong had decided that after a long time, many comebacks and promotions, it would be a good idea to go shopping, go for some things that were needed and others on a whim.

but no matter what, taeyong valued that quality time with you because it was what he missed the most when he was at the company. your touch, your body heat, your aroma, your everything. you were what he was missing.

and as you walked the streets of seoul looking for somewhere to spend more money, he couldn't help but look for what he had missed the most. he had his entire arm around your waist, with his waist pressed against yours while his head rested on yours, occasionally smelling the scent of your hair.

it made you laugh when you heard him take a deep breath or when he pressed you closer to him, but that was who he was, that was your, forever, taeyong.

you could see in the distance a store that particularly caught your attention, you were not a big fan of sanrio or hello kitty, but it was especially so beautiful, that it was pleasant to the eye.

"bubu" you called him by his nickname, he turned his head immediately at your call, looking at you with his beautiful big brown eyes before saying, "yes, my love?"

you appreciated him for a few seconds, before pointing to the store that had taken your attention. "i want to go there," you told him.

he can't help but smile a little before nodding, "as you wish, my love," he kissed your head and continued walking. he didn't know that you were a big fan of hello kitty and all that stuff, but clearly, from now on he would take it into account.

when you were close and almost about to enter, taeyong stopped and moved away from you, allowing you to feel the absence of his warmth. you turned when you felt him walk away, looking at him confused.

"where are you going, bubu?" you asked as you watched him pull something out of his pocket. "i want to smoke a little, my love. go inside, i'll watch you from here." he replied, putting the cigarette in his mouth.

"you are really crazy if you think i will leave my beautiful boyfriend alone" you approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he laughed.

taeyong did the same, now rocking with you in his arms and as you lifted your head, he let his forehead rest against yours. your nose was as red as the reindeer's, so in the middle of that love attack, he rubbed his nose against yours.

"someone is going to try to steal it from me!" you said, kissing him lightly on his lips. you heard a sigh come from deep in his chest, you laughed and placed another kiss on his lips.

"no one is going to steal me from you, i am as much yours as you are mine" he told you, tightening his grip on your waist as he was now the one kissing you; taeyong's kisses were different, deep and full of love, that was one of his thousand ways to show how big his love for you was.

when the kiss ended, and they became small and momentary kisses, you nodded "i'm glad to hear that."

you let your arms wander over his waist, chest, arms and shoulders, as if your movements intoxicated the man. your cold hands reached the sides of his face, you rubbed your nose and fingers at the same time as he closed his eyes and sighed.

you guided his cheek to your lips, where you left a loud, long, moving kiss, wanting to leave your lips marked there. then, you went for his jaw, and he could swear he would melt under your touch.

you left one, two, three, probably four kisses, taeyong had already lost count from the second.

and when you were done there, you left one on his nose and finally, on his lips.

you moved a little away from his face, observing your work of art, taeyong was your canvas that you could always paint, especially with the marks of your kisses.

“perfect” you said, taeyong opened his eyes, smiling at the image of your figure, smiling at his face full of red kisses as you continued caressing his face with your thumbs.

he take the opportunity to take your hand and kiss your palm, loosening his grip a little. "i love this process so much" he said in a breath, his hot breath hitting your hand.

you laughed "i know, bubu" you walked over and stole a kiss from him, quickly walking away to enter the store.

when you entered the store, you looked at him, bringing the lit cigarette closer to his red lips, leaving the cigar marked when it touched his lips.

a red mark.

like his whole face. from his jaw to his nose. his eyes did not stop looking at you with a smile on his lips.

he really loved when you did that.

© LAVANDIORS | do not copy, translate or steal my works.

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Hey there!! I just found your account and was absolutely in AWE after reading your HP works. Instant follow from me :]

This is my first time requesting something anywhere lol so I hope this is right. Could I request a HP matchup? [platonic and romantic, both eras or whichever one calls to you lmao] I know you are on a hiatus and that your inbox will probably be overflowing when you start writing again lol so please don't feel like u need to get to this ASAP. Whenever you have inspiration, no rush ;]

-I'm in Slytherin

-I am an INFJ-T

-I am an October Scorpio

-My patronus is a Little Owl.

-My love language [giving] is words of affirmation and quality time. My love language [receiving] is physical touch [it's hard for me to initiate it] and quality time.

-I am 5'7 with medium length blonde hair with curtain bangs and blue eyes. I have dimples and freckles.

-I am very ambitious and want to be the best at everything I do [choir, theatre, my classwork, everything]. I hold myself to very high standards and think very highly of myself. This pride also leads me to talk about myself a lot, which is often taken as bragging. While all of this is true, I want everyone to have equal opportunity as well. If someone if struggling with something, even if they are competition, I am more than willing to help. This high-standard also causes me to feel like I am not enough or not worthy. My grade drops to an A-? I start doubting everything.

-I hate loud & crowded spaces [such as loud concerts, parties, super busy stores, etc]. They make me super overwhelmed and anxious. I would much rather stay at home playing video games with friends or go to smaller, more intimate places.

-Some of my favorite things [in no particular order] include Big Brother [reality competition show], Minecraft, SDV, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, musical theatre, show choir, writing, my friends, being a leader/mentor, music, the beach, crocheting, reading, collecting, winning, etc

-Some of my least favorite things [in no particular order] include studying [which I never do anyway lol], sudden & unexpected loud noises, storms/bad weather, selfish and self-righteous people, fake people, the main character archetype, most movies [i have a bad attention span], losing, being wrong, etc

Hope this isn't too much!! Thanks again, love ur stuff <3

HI! I am so glad that you like them! Harry Potter is one of my favorite fandoms to write for, so many fun characters! I hope you like your matchups, I did both platonic and romantic. :) <333

---

Harry Potter;

---

(Platonic);

Luna Lovegood:

🔮 You met Luna and became good friends with her on the train to Hogwarts - she was reading - you were reading - and from that, you both began to talk about the books and subjects that you were interested in; from then on, you and Luna were pretty close

🔮 You and Luna spend a lot of time together when you can - sitting together during shared classes, walking the schools grounds, writing to each each during breaks, and you even taught her how to crochet once

🔮 Soon enough, you would travel to each other's homes during the summer, having sleepovers, and so on - you introduced Luna to some of your favorite Muggle things, like Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, and some of your favorite theater musicals; she, in turn, she told you about Thestrals, and other creatures

🔮 Along with going to each other's homes during the summer, you and Luna often visited the beach together - building sandcastles, swimming in the sea, reading, and sunbathing - as the sun sets, you and Luna walked around the beach trying to collect as many shells and pretty rocks that you could find

🔮 You and Luna's friendship is pretty well matched, you're both helpful and easygoing; Luna would give you good - yet strange - advice, and would always be there for you when you need someone after a small grade drop

---

(Romantic);

George Weasley:

🃏 When you met George, you had been learning how to bring out your patronus - way before Dumbledore's Army - you had read up on it in the library (along with hearing about it in many classes) you took as many chances as you could during free periods to master the charm; you were yearning to get it right, practicing when you could

🃏 George happened - surprisingly without his older twin - been wandering around the courtyard, near the clock tower, when he saw you, practicing; and then he saw it, your patronus, an owl (it was a Little Owl)

🃏 George went on over to you, complimented how obviously talented you were, and from then on, you and George spent a lot of time together; even though you were a Slytherin and he was a Gryffindor; you both ignored the prejudice

🃏 The friendship between the two of you quickly blossomed into a relationship; the both of you having more in common than you thought - you both liked reading, both liked music, and having nice quiet places to just exist in

🃏 When George and Fred in their adventures of creating their own jokes shop, you follow, staying with the two young men, working alongside them - though you worked mainly in the back away from the loud crowds of children; and when you and George weren't working, you'd spend time together, feeling completely relaxed in each other's company

---

[angelsanarchy]

Alone Together - Eddie/OC One-Shot Series PRT 6

Prt 1 - Prt 2 - Prt 3 - Prt 4 - Prt 5

I was surprisingly calm heading over to study with Eddie. I kept reminding myself that we were just hanging out, working on school work and that was it. Nothing special. I had seen him earlier in the day but one of his club members said he had taken off early to "prepare for company" which was weird. What could he possibly be preparing for?

I pulled up behind his van and gathered my books from the passenger seat before walking up to the door. I knocked and was immediately met with a crashing sound and a curse.

Eddie open the door rubbing his elbow and I smiled.

"Are you okay?" I chuckled.

"Uh yeah sorry. Tripped over the vacuum cord." Eddie swung the door wider and I stepped inside. He had absolutely been cleaning.

"Welcome to Castle Munson. I tried to clean up a bit so my uncle wouldn't want to wring my neck for subjecting you to our mess." Eddie explained shoving the vacuum into a closet.

"You didn't have to clean up on my account. My room isn't anything to write home about." I found a seat on the couch and Eddie paced around making sure to grab his work books and supplies.

"Can I get you anything? Drink? Food? Are you warm enough? I can get you a blanket or if the air quality is bad, I can open a window?" Eddie's eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of his skull.

"Eddie...I'm fine. Please sit down. Why are you so worked up?" I laughed and Eddie rubbed the back of his neck.

"I just...I don't entertain here a lot." Eddie continued to fidget.

"We could have gone somewhere else if you aren't comfortable with me being here. I don't want you to stress-" I started to get up from the couch and he stopped me.

"It's not about you being here. I just don't usually have girls over. I want you here. I'm just being stupid." Eddie shook his head and I put a hand on his knee.

"You aren't being stupid. I'm glad you want me here, just breathe. I promise not to judge your decor too harshly." I tried to put him at ease and he seemed to listen as his face softened into a smirk.

"Plus it's not like my social calendar is packed with engagements so you don't have to impress me. I'm the one without friends here." I teased.

"Wow Murillo, I'm wounded. We aren't friends? I thought we were bonding through our outcast prerogative." Eddie put his hand on top of the one that I had resting on his knee.

"Oh is that what we're doing? I thought you needed a tutor?" Eddie snorted.

"Let's be real, I'm going to have to give a pound of flesh just to get a passing grade. Tutoring me is just an excuse to get to know you." He nudged my arm and smirked.

"How unfortunate for you because I actually thought you wanted to be tutored." I pulled out blank flashcards and Eddie scrunched his face.

"Don't give me that face Munson. I want you to graduate with me this year so let's leave the pound of flesh and actually come up with a way to make you retain this crap." I started laying the supplies out and Eddie continued to groan.

"You're such a big baby. Come on, I'll make a deal with you. You work with me now and however many questions you get right will be the number of questions you can ask me when we're done." I offered and Eddie moved the pillow from his face.

"Like 20 questions? And I can ask whatever I want?" I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not too worried you'll get 20 but sure, whatever you want. Do we have a deal?" I stuck my hand out and Eddie shook it enthusiastically. I would probably regret this deal but I genuinely wanted Eddie to succeeded and graduate this year. He was really the only person who seemed to actually want to get to know me and be my friend outside of the few people I've connected with through Ms. Kelly.

Flashcards seemed to be working with Eddie. He questioned the method at first but having him actually write things down himself helped him memorize things a lot more than me showing him a card I had made. I noticed the little skulls and guitars he would draw on his cards and I smiled to myself when he poked his tongue out to focus on the drawings. Eddie was smart, he was just distracted easily and high strung.

After about an hour of working on the cards and another hour quizzing him, he managed to get about 5 questions which wasn't great but a decent start.

"I'm never going to get all of this better the end of the semester." Eddie slammed his head on the coffee table and I patted his head.

"It's our first day working on this. Give it some time before you go and cause yourself more brain damage." Eddie lifted his head and glared.

"Laugh it up sweetheart, I may have bombed this quiz but 5 correct means 5 questions." Eddie wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. I started cleaning up the books and flashcards as Eddie settled into the couch.

"A deal is a deal. Let's have it." Eddie hummed trying to figure out what he wanted to know about me.

"What's your favorite cereal?" I had to laugh at the first question.

"What? It's a great icebreaker! Everyone loves cereal!" Eddie defended.

"I love Lucky Charms but I don't eat them with milk. I don't like my marshmallows soggy." I explained zipping the bag and sitting up on the couch next to him.

"Respectable. How about your favorite color?" He was going easy and I knew he was trying to figure out where the line was.

"It's a tie between yellow and green. I thought these questions would be groundbreaking. Are you going soft, Munson?" I narrowed my gaze at him and he took it as a challenge.

"Okay fine, ever gotten high?" He smirked.

"Can't really do a lot of smoking with this whole oxygen set up. Anything stronger would probably kill me. I don't have a ton of luck when it comes to painkillers either." He shook his head in understanding.

"That sucks. I mean you don't have any sort of way to take the edge off of this shit town. That's tragic." Eddie had glanced at his cigarettes but he had yet to actually light one up around me.

"Usually just writing or drawing takes the edge off. I mean if I think about life outside of Hawkins, I still have the same issues dragging behind me so why fight it?" Eddie nodded.

"What do you write?" Eddie was down to two more questions.

"Mostly just journaling my thoughts and feelings. Spending a lot of time by myself gives me time to reflect on how insanely boring of a person I am." I joked.

"I don't think you're boring." Eddie smiled.

"Last question Munson. Make it a good one." I challenged.

"This could make or break our friendship, Dani so I'm going to need you to answer this last question carefully." Eddie sat up straight and leaned towards me. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me but he paused.

"What is your favorite band of all time?" Eddie's eye contact was fierce but I had to laugh.

"That's not a fair question and you know it! Anything I answer that isn't metal is going to make you lose your mind." I laughed and Eddie pulled the pillow out of my lap that I used to shield myself.

"Come on! I mean it's not like your favorite band is Wham or something...please God say it's not Wham." Eddie's eyes got wide and I shook my head.

"I like a lot of different music. I don't know who my favorite band is." Eddie rolled his eyes at the answer.

"What's a song that always makes you stop and actually listen to it?" Eddie changed his question and I almost wanted to call him out for cheating but I tried to think about a song that I last listened to on repeat.

"Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar." I braced for judgement and Eddie remained silence.

"Not metal but we can work with Benatar. See was that so bad? I told you, I don't bite unless you ask real nice." Eddie winked and I felt a flush run up the side of my neck.

"Next study session bring some of your cassettes over and we'll see if we can introduce some metal into your life." Eddie smiled brightly.

The more time I spent with Eddie, the more I realized he was a really sweet guy. People had no idea what he was really like. It was nice to actually be able to say I had a friend in Eddie but the feeling I got in my stomach tells me friendship was going to be harder than my heart would allow.

[kingkatsuki]

Okay hear me out! Imagine sleazy Kiri hiring someone to bug your phone and laptop. He has full access to all your texts, nudes you sent to your exes and your webcam. So he spents all of his free time watching you through your camera, his own private show. He wants to know everything about you, what you google search, what music you listen to, who you text, if you're seeing anyone etc. He listens to your phone and video calls trying to get every bit of info about you and also because he loves hearing your voice, imagining how you'd sound moaning his name.

His favorite part is when you're getting ready for bed. How you slowly undress on your way to the bathroom and how you return with a fluffy towel wrapped around you. He catches glimpses of your naked body when you throw away the towel and pull an oversized t-shirt over your head. He can't see much from the webcam and the quality of the video is bad most of the time so he's glad he has your nudes to help him get off.

For a time he thought this would be enough, that he'd be satisfied seeing you like this while he tries to get close to you but it's not. Especially when you mention you're going on a date. He's done waiting! He has to make you his right now!

I'm so sorry if this is bad, I'm not good with thirsts but I got this idea from your latest asks and had to tell you.

-🙊

I love this so much!! And you know it would be possible too, because in his line of work he meets the most unsavoury people. One day he’s doing a raid on a hackers lair and he finds the perfect villain with the perfect quirk to help him out.

Just imagine when he gains access to your iCloud account and he finds all the lewds that you’d taken for your ex (or current boyfriend👀), even videos of you touching that pretty pussy and moaning out for him. Kirishima instantly thinking about how you’d sound moaning his name, watching the way you push your fingers inside yourself as he imagines how he’d stretch you out so much more. Actually make you full.

He’s immediately going through all your messages and profiles, looking for any clues of how he can get close to you and information about your boyfriend too. Anything he can use to his advantage.

Imagine him finding pictures of you in another heroes merchandise though. I can just imagine him getting so angry at the thought that your attention may be somewhere else… but he’d change that. It wouldn’t be for much longer—

Just imagining him watching a fuzzy video of you getting ready for bed while he’s at work, trying to angle his phone screen so no one else can see as he ogles your naked body, imagining the perfect scenario where he’s at home getting ready for bed with you. Spending the rest of his shift with a massive tent in his pants at the thought of you.

It isn’t going to satiate him for long, sooner or later he needs to feel you, to smell you, to be with you. He can’t stand the thought of you with someone else. Kirishima needs you to be his.

[buddha-in-disguise]

Supergirl S6.

Huge news in regards Azie co-writing episode 12 of Supergirl season 6.

First, let's get images of the Instagram post Azie herself made and a few replies (inc the most adorable one from Chyler) out of the way.

Azie said this in her post: Writing is such a passion of mine. I’ve loved every step of this. Thank you so much 🥺😭❤️

The fact this isn't just exceptionally exciting for Azie and fans alike, it turns out this is groundbreaking, as it's a first for an Arrowverse actor. Yet somehow, it comes as no surprise it is one of the Supergirl women who has taken that accolade. Despite all the issues on the show over the years, there is no doubt it has also at times been groundbreaking. The overall quality of the cast is, imo unsurpassed (although Batwoman is right up there with them).

Most importantly, by having Azie co-write, there is now representation in that writers room fans have been crying out for, and in multiple ways. We saw how having Nicole heavily input into her episode in S5 brought what would've been an okay episode, into an excellent episode. Having Azie co-write elevates it all again. A Black woman, who plays a Black Queer woman on the show, who not only knows her character, but all those around her. Who knows, because she has said as much, that she'll have Chyler chat with her to make sure certain scenes are done right. All that knowledge and understanding can finally get put into an episode, and also hopefully brought into the writers room in general.

Add in Chyler's directing, on an episode that by all accounts is different to anything Chyler has ever done on the show, and do we dare have hope that Season 6 isn't going to completely suck? I think we do.

I posted only a week or so ago on what we knew about the filming going on. In that I noted how Azie was in wardrobe that suggested she was working, possibly even using the shield, alongside the rest of the Superfriends. That they're spending an inordinate amount of time in their supersuits (I include Alex in this). That it ties in with Jesse saying that they form a sort of mini justice league. Which if you think about it, they have: Supergirl, Brainy, Dreamer, Vigilant Alex with her Martian weapon, Acreta. Martian Manhunter. Some early episodes with M'gann. Add in support from Kelly and hopefully Lena, and you have a fully fledged out justice league all right. Even if they're not all fighting together as a unit, they have the numbers, experience and variety to really let this idea be a focus.

I was so hopeful & excited for season 5, that it is now difficult to trust tptb on giving us a final season that doesn't cause further harm, especially to the marginalised or LGBTQ portion of the fans.

But dare I hope that we are seeing, albeit in glimpses, changes that are going to bring the show back towards what made it so good?

I know some oppose this, but I'm not asking anyone to agree with me, but the biggest statement Supergirl can make is connected, but distinctly different. The first is to allow the LGBTQ characters on the show to shine. As individuals, as family, as friends, and where necessary, as partners. To that end, Supergirl need to put on their big girl pants and allow Supercorp to be. Because whatever they do, whatever happens in season 6, no matter how brilliant the rest could be - if they don't take that step, the legacy won't be about all the great things Supergirl has done, but how they're the biggest queerbaiters to its LGBTQ fans.

Don't think that kind of thing won't stick. Even today, if you see posts for certain programs like Rizzoli & Isles for example, while you see normal posts, the vast majority brings up the queerbaiting.

Supergirl only get one more shot at this. I'm so glad to be writing such a positive post overall over S6, because believe it or not, I really hate having negativity over my posts on Supergirl.

Bring it home Azie! You deserve this and so much more.

In you we most definitely trust.

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine

NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.

NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.

Part 1.

Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.

A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist

Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.

Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.

1. Origins

Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.

Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.

All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.

But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.

“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:

But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.

So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:

On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need

And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.

Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice

Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):

Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie

Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex

Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:

A tomb with a view

Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.

Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.

2. Recruitment

It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.

Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.

Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!

Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.

Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.

What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.

But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.

“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”

But we sidestepped a bit.

3. Pulling the strings

After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.

Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.

What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.

Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».

While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.

Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.

But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?

Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)

Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)

That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).

Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)

4. The Hero’s journey

That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.

Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.

_______

So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.

Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.

[eryiss]

Ship: Freed x Laxus

Rating: Teen

Prompt: Soulmates

Summary: THE S0U1MATE SYSTEM. A week-long experience guaranteed to find you your soulmate. Laxus had dismissed it as nothing but crap, and brought himself a ticket to prove it. It would have gone well, if it weren’t for the handsome guy running the program who kept catching his eye.

Notes: This was written as part of Fraxus Week 2021, as always hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus. Check out their blog to see all the other content.

Links: Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction

THE S0U1MATE SYSTEM

Year: 2055

Location: Tokyo, Japan

"Laxus Dreyar," A robotically cheerful voice echoed through the room. "Please step into the preparation area."

Rising quickly, Laxus strode through the reception room and towards the door that had lit up. The animated emoticon projected onto the wall followed him as he walked, and the glass door shimmered out of existence as he approached. Once through the archway, the glass flickered back into place, and the emoticon went back to its unanimated state. So far, Laxus had yet to be impressed by THE S0U1MATE SYSTEM.

It claimed to be an experience that will end up matching an attendee with their soulmate. You paid your fee, gave up a week of your life, trusted in the system that it would work, and supposedly you'd end up meeting the love of your life. Laxus was only there to disprove it.

Well, also because Ever had paid for it, and he knew how much it costed. But mainly he went to disprove it.

So far, he'd undergone a full body scan, had his social media accounts interrogated, and submitted a completed questionnaire that covered everything from best first date ideas to how he dealt with the inevitability of death. This was apparently so the algorithm could create a profile for him, and was not reflective of how the program would be. According to the guidebook Laxus had absently flicked through, the morning of the first day was slightly tedious, so to better match him with potential lovers. It all seemed stupid – as far as Laxus was concerned, romance was born out of coincidence and chemistry, not a list of things you liked and didn't like – but he was willing to undergo it all just to prove how it was a waste of money.

Each day, he would go on an 'Experience' with a match. It was a simulation of a first date, purpose built to the two people's shared interests. Some people went on candle lit dinners, some people went into an escape room, some people were stranded in the middle of the ocean with only each other for company. Every experience was tailored to the participants.

At least it would be interesting.

Laxus walked down the corridor, following the neon arrows that pointed him to another shimmering glass door. The pretentious modernism of the building was obvious, and it showed off every ridiculous advancement in technology in the most frivolous ways. It couldn't be a more obvious money-making scheme if it tried.

As he walked through the door, he saw a man standing at a podium. His date, perhaps.

Well, if that was the case, they at least knew his type.

Tall, long legs with some obvious lean bulk to them. Well dressed, in clothing that clearly was trying to highlight his physique but not in an obvious way. His face, looking down at the tablet attached to the podium, was sharp and angular, with high cheek bones and a slightly jutting chin. A mole rested below one of his vibrant eyes, and a long main of flowing green hair hung down to his waist. He was hot and Laxus grinned; at least he would spend a bit of time with a sexy guy.

As Laxus approached, the man looked up with a polite smile. He didn't make a move towards him, as Laxus expected, and continued to tap on the tablet before him. The lights gained a bright blue and the small room illuminated itself.

"You must be mister Dreyar," The man said in lieu of a greeting.

"Yeah, nice to meet ya," Laxus nodded, stepping forward and offering the man a hand to shake. He took it; he had a good grip on him. "Guess you're my date for the evening."

"Ah, I'm afraid not," The man denied, and Laxus frowned a little. "I work here, I'll be overseeing your simulations throughout the week as part of a quality control test. You'll meet the man who you've been set up with in the simulation itself."

"Thought the system was supposed to be automated?" Laxus asked, retracting his hand, and taking a step back.

"It is. A few times a year someone is called to watch over, to make sure it's as streamlined as possible," The man looked back down to his tablet again and began typing, and a small bubbling of curiosity grew in Laxus. Nothing he'd act on, but the face of concentration on the man was an attractive one. "I'm surprised you weren't informed beforehand; I must admit. It's in the contract you signed that this could happen, but the company does like to warn people before things begin."

"It ain't a big deal," Laxus shrugged, looking around the small room. "I ain't really sure how this part of the process works, so maybe you could help. I didn't catch yer name, either."

"Freed Justine," The man introduced himself, smirking ever so slightly. "In a moment you'll walk through those doors," he motioned to the aforementioned doors, "and the simulation will begin. Your date will walk through another set of doors, and you'll meet then. We like to have dates meet for the first time mid-way through a simulation, as it feels more natural than meeting beforehand. Once you've spoken for a while, the activity of the simulation can begin."

"How do I know what the 'activity' is?"

"It's normally fairly obvious. If you were, for example, white water rafting, you'd be placed on a dock with a boat already attached to the rapids," Freed explained, looking up from the tablet again. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Laxus would have rather known what he was getting into before it happened, he felt like it would give him an advantage. He couldn't dwell on that, though, as the floor below him lit up. Pulses of light seemed to guide him to a corner of the room, where an odd glass cylinder stood. Clearly they were informing him that he was to get inside the cylinder and, after a nod from Freed, he did as he was instructed.

The cylinder closed as he stepped in, and a flicker of nervousness dwelled inside of him as the glass seemed to seal itself shut. He glanced towards Freed, who gave him a short smile, before a flash of light erupted from above. It only lasted a moment, and Laxus took a second to understand what had happened.

His clothing had changed. Where once he wore an outfit he saw as worthy for a date, he now wore a tee-shirt, shorts, and sneakers.

"The hell?" He murmured under his breath.

"That's the outfit that best fits what kind of date you'll be having," Freed explained as the glass unsealed and Laxus could step out. "Partly it's to better round out the simulation, but I think it's mainly so we don't get sued for property damage should your actual clothes get stained or damaged."

"How romantic," Laxus murmured, before looking down at himself. "Am I having a date in a gym or something?"

"Yes, actually. One of your shared interests is combat sports, so you'll be placed in a boxing arena," Freed said after looking towards the tablet. He thought for a moment, then frowned. "I probably shouldn't have told you that."

"Glad you did, I like being prepared," Laxus shrugged. "Boxing's hardly romantic, though."

"For the right person, it is," Freed retorted. The lights around the simulation door lit up green, and Freed smiled. "Speaking of the right person, the simulation is ready, so when you're ready please step through. I hope you enjoy your date."

"I'll certainly try," Laxus nodded. "And if I don't, I get to punch the guy."

Freed laughed, and Laxus approached the door and refocused his attention on his goal on disproving the systems worth. He knew that the guy in the simulation wouldn't be his soulmate. If the company was worth it's price, then they would have understood that Freed was a better match for him than some random guy who happened to like to box. Still, once this was over and he'd disproven their complete success claim, he might get Freed's number. It wouldn't be a waste of time.

---

"So he wasn't the love of your life, then?"

That was what greeted Laxus as he walked into the preparation area outside of the simulation. It had been a day since his first date, and Freed stood before his tablet again as if he'd been waiting for Laxus to approach. He probably had.

"Wouldn't be here if he was," Laxus shrugged. "You saw how it went. Hardly compatible."

"I suppose not."

The date itself wasn't awful, in fact it was pretty fun. As Freed had stated, he'd been taken into a simulation of an old-fashioned boxing gymnasium, where he'd met the guy. He wasn't bad looking, and in pretty damn good shape, but they hadn't been destined for a relationship and they both knew it. Though Laxus couldn't say it was time wasted, as they'd exchanged information and said they'd workout together at some point. Laxus had always found it hard to find a spotter who could match his weight, and the guy could certainly do that and more.

"The first dates don't typically be where people settle," Freed continued, tapping at his tablet, perhaps setting up the next simulation. "The first half of the week has a low success rate, honestly. I believe it's mainly collecting information to better inform the matches later in the week, so don't be disheartened."

"I wasn't," Laxus shrugged. "If I'm honest, I don't believe this is real."

"I thought as much," Freed chuckled. "Though you probably shouldn't have told a member of staff that. It might taint my view of you."

"What are you gonna do. Throw me into a simulated volcano?"

"I could," Freed grinned, and it was a pretty nice look on the man. "But the real danger is that you say it to a member of staff who's gone through the program and who met their partner through it. They can get somewhat defensive, and they'll do whatever they can to make you believe it will work, and they'll be rather annoying while doing so. It's something I know from experience."

"You ain't been through it?"

"No, I'm hardly in a rush to find someone," Freed shrugged a little. "I believe that these things will happen when they're meant to, so why force them? And yes, before you point it out, it's hypocritical of me to say that while working here."

"Never been tempted?" Laxus asked.

"Of course. I know you don't believe it but I've yet to see someone leave the program without meeting someone they eventually fell in love with."

Freed didn't seem like the kind of guy to say bullshit like that for no reason, and the honesty in his tone didn't feel as though he was parroting a line from a corporate memo, so maybe he did believe it. Admittedly Laxus hardly knew Freed, so he couldn't make too many judgments about his person, but the fact he seemed to believe that this could find him true love was a little intimidating. A pragmatist like Freed – that's what Laxus thought him to be, anyway – wouldn't say that if he didn't believe it.

A horrible thought suddenly hit Laxus. He might actually find someone who he might fall in love with. That was… worrying.

"You won't need to change clothes today, your date won't require it," Freed said, looking up from his tablet again.

"Good to know," Laxus nodded, trying to ignore the nervousness that was filling him. "You gonna tell me what I'm doing?"

"No," Freed shook his head. "For all we know, if I didn't tell you yesterday, the date might have been entirely different."

"Nah, I don't think so," Laxus chuckled, walking towards the podium Freed was standing behind and leaning on it. He grinned at the man, who looked up at him for a moment before averting his eyes. "Tell me, I'll complain about you to yer manager if you don't."

"What a horrible threat," Freed said sardonically, though he did look down at his tablet again. "It's a fairground with a circus performance at the end. And apparently your date is something of a gymnast, and so there's a high chance that he'll get on stage and perform for you."

"Is that gonna be impressive or is it gonna make me wanna claw my eyes out?" Laxus laughed.

"He's a professional athlete, so I suspect the former," Freed grinned a little.

They chatted for a few minutes more, and eventually the lights around the door lit up again and guided him towards his second date. Laxus pushed off from the podium he was still leaning on, ignoring the teasing comment that he should adjust his posture if he wanted to impress his future husband, and walked through the door and into the simulation of an outdoor fairground. As he crossed the threshold, he didn't notice how his nerves had disappeared completely.

---

"I'm startin' to think your program ain't as good as you're saying it is."

Laxus spoke as he walked into the preparation area, and Freed looked up with a small grin on his face as he approached. Laxus had the slightest falter in his step as he saw that Freed had his hair tied up in a high ponytail, rather than using the low band he'd had on the two previous days. Seriously, the simulation had matched him with two random men and not the beauty before him and yet still claimed to be the best matchmaking system in history. Ha.

His second date hadn't been bad, exactly. The guy was hot in his own way – and someone with a scene/punk interest would have been all over him – and he was entertaining the entire time. But he was a little too much for Laxus. Constantly wiggling eyebrows and euphemisms. Good for the right guy, but not for Laxus.

"We're still collecting data, every date is an improvement on the last," Freed waved off the complaint. "For example, you seemed to enjoy the games you were playing, so a bit of friendly competition is something you'll like in a relationship," Laxus had to admit, someone who could challenge him was a turn on, so the system had gotten that right about him. "That's certainly been taken into account for this date."

The way he'd said the last sentence, with a hint of amusement and restrained laughter, made Laxus nervous. He didn't push the topic, partially out of fear.

"We'll see how confident you are when the week's over and I've turned everyone down," Laxus shrugged.

"You're determined for this to fail for you, aren't you?" Freed asked with amusement, and Laxus didn't deny it, instead choosing to shrug. "Is that why you're here, do you see yourself as the man to take the system down and prove how much of a scam it is? Because we've had literally hundreds of people try that and we've yet to have an unsatisfied customer."

"How do I know they've not been silenced?" Laxus joked, grinning as he walked closer to Freed. "Or worse, you killed 'em, blended their bodies up and sold it as a health drink or something?"

"Because we're not in a poorly written young adult novel?" Freed chuckled. "We actually just burn the corpses, it's much less messy."

"Knew it," Laxus laughed. "You gonna tell me what you're gonna put me through today?"

"Absolutely not," Freed grinned. "And I won't move on that today. Because nothing is going to please me more than seeing your reaction to it."

"Why, it's not weird is it?" Laxus frowned, looking concerned now.

"It depends on your definition of weird, I suppose," Freed smirked, and if it weren't such an attractive expression on the man then Laxus might have taken issue with it. "I'll simply say, I expect it's weighted slightly more towards what your date will enjoy rather than what you're going to enjoy."

"Or you could just tell me what's gonna happen," Laxus prompted, and Freed shook his head.

"You'll require an outfit change."

Laxus sighed a little, apparently the topic was to be dropped. He walked to the glass pod in the corner of the room and allowed it to close behind him, and he turned to look at Freed in expectation. Freed pressed something on the tablet and the light flash of light filled the cylinder a moment later, the same chill running over him as his clothing was replaced.

When he saw his reflection, Laxus found himself more confused than anything. He was only wearing swimming trunks and a large life-preserver. He could swim fine, so didn't know what the hell the point of that thing was, and turned to Freed again in confusion.

Freed, who had apparently been looking at him, immediately turned away, and Laxus could see his cheeks redden.

Huh. Had Freed been checking him out.

"You really not gonna let me know why I need to wear this?" Laxus asked, stepping out of the pod, and lifting one side of the life-preserver. Freed looked back to him, pointedly looking only at his face, cheeks still covered with the slightest dusting of a blush. Laxus wanted to focus on that, and maybe flex his abs to see if he got a reaction, but instead spoke again in a jovial tone. "You know if I drown in a simulation, I'm gonna get a lawyer right?"

"I doubt that will happen," Freed said, seemingly forcing himself to shake off the blush. "It's just a precaution."

"You wanna tell me what it's a precaution against?" Laxus probed.

"No," Freed grinned again. The lights above the door lit up, and Freed's grin widened. "And it seems you'll be finding out now."

Laxus wanted to push the topic more and find out what he was going to endure, and he very nearly ignored the flashing green lights and did just that. He almost did, if it weren't for the fact that he also wanted to take off the life preserver and give Freed an unhindered view of his chest to see what happened, so he clearly wasn't in the right mind to be making decisions. He was trying to disprove love could be found in this place, flirting with the guy was hardly helping his argument.

As he had the previous two times, Freed wished him luck as he approached the door. Thie time, though, it was tinged with amusement, and Laxus felt a swell of anticipation as he walked through the door.

The simulation was… interesting. It took Laxus a moment to realise he recognised what he was seeing, and a further moment to remember what it was. When he was a kid, his grandfather had watched old reruns of a gameshow: Wipeout. It was a ridiculous set of obstacle courses, where idiot contestants tried to win money but usually ended up looking like assholes, falling into water after being hit by giant mechanisms covered in foam cladding. It was cheap entertainment where the contestants were there to be laughed at, and apparently Laxus was going to be enduring the damn thing.

He turned around quickly, watching as the doors flickered out of existence, Freed's smirk being the last thing he saw.

---

The moment Laxus walked into the preparation room, he was met with a bursting of laughter. He crossed his arms, watching as Freed tried and failed to retain his laughter. It took longer than it should have, and it was tempting to shake the bastard. He would deserve it if he was laughing at what Laxus thought he was laughing at.

"It ain't that funny."

"Oh it truly was."

Laxus grit his teeth. His third date had been the most interesting, that was for sure, but it had also been ridiculous. He'd been forced to go through three stupidly weird obstacle courses, competing against his date, who was a loud-mouthed idiot with stupidly pink hair.

Multiple times, he'd been pushed from the course and into the unnecessarily cold water. The loud cackling from his date seemed to be shot straight into his ears the moment he broke the surface of the water, and the man's amusement at Laxus failing seemed to double each time it happened. During the last round, when he'd been knocked down a slope of gushing water by a barrel of all things, Laxus had to stop himself from swimming over to the man and clocking him on the nose. He'd probably be kicked from the system, so he talked himself out of it and instead put his focus onto winning the game. He had, and the brat annoyingly wasn't bothered at all.

"He was fucking annoying," Laxus muttered as he walked closer to Freed. He leant against the podium again, closing his eyes in exasperation. "Good luck finding him a guy to match with."

"Actually he's on his fifth day here, and everyone other than you said they wanted to match with him," Freed informed him, looking over the tablet. He was being cagey in letting Laxus see the screen surely the next date wouldn't be as bad as the last. "So you're the outlier in the set. He's remarkably easy compared to you."

"Honestly, kinda offended by that," Laxus muttered.

Freed breathed out a laugh, before placing the tablet back onto the podium. Laxus didn't spare it a glance, and instead looked towards the clothes-changing pod to see if he would need a new outfit. Seemingly knowing that, the pod lit up and directed Laxus to enter. With a small sigh, he did.

Once inside, the flash went off and his clothes were replaced by the appropriate outfit. Thankfully, this time he'd been replaced by an actual normal outfit. A dinner suit, perfectly tailored for his body. It was entirely black and white and, while he definitely looked good in it, it wasn't exactly what he would have chosen for himself. He liked his clothes to have at least a splash of colour, and suits could have that in a tasteful way when done right.

"Before you ask, you'll be having dinner today," Freed informed him as he stepped out of the pod. "Fairly simple, but I think that's more than earned. Most people only have one peculiar simulation, you've had nothing but."

"Lucky me," Laxus murmured. "Wanna tell me about the guy?"

"No," Freed shook his head. "Though I should say, it's at this point in the program where the system starts to understand what you're looking for. So it's entirely possible that he might be the person you end up with."

"I doubt it," He rebuffed, glancing at his reflection in the pod.

"Just go in with an open mind, that's all I ask," Freed said, typing on the tablet again. "The gentleman you've been set up with supposedly has a ninety two percent match with the data on you we currently have. There's a good chance that this might go well if you let it."

"You know I wanna disprove this, right?" Laxus grinned. "I ain't gonna help you."

"Well, lets make a deal," Freed smirked. "If you go into your date with an open mind, I'll promise not to put this on YouTube."

Laxus went to ask what, but the lights lowered, and a projection appeared on one of the blank walls. Watching the video, Laxus felt his blood run cold and his body tense, and a glare was soon aimed at Freed for what he'd done. The grin, which could only be described as shit-eating, he got in return only went to further annoy him.

The video was of Laxus' previous date. All the instances of him falling off the course, and into the water, had been put into a montage, with ridiculously obnoxious circus music blaring behind it. Laxus looked like a damn asshole. When the footage slowed down, showing him getting punched in the face by a foam-covered fist, only to lose grip of the handholds and fall face first into a pool of mud, Laxus openly growled.

"Delete this."

"Absolutely not," Freed smirked. "You heard my terms. Give your date a chance and I'll make it disappear. If not, the whole world gets to see you looking like this."

"Yer an asshole, you know that?" Laxus asked, though he couldn't help fighting a grin.

"I do," Freed nodded, and Laxus barked out a laugh. "And your date is ready for you. Have fun."

Laxus waved a hand towards him, walking towards the door and adjusting his jacket as he did so. He supposed he would give this date a chance, just to avoid the humiliation of that stupid video being leaked onto the internet. If it went well, then he'd meet a guy he might be interested in. if it didn't go well, then he could spend the entirety of the next day planning some kind of revenge on Freed for forcing him to endure such a night. That would be fun.

---

The date had been… interesting. Freed was right, the guy had certainly been the closest to someone Laxus would consider getting into a long-term relationship with, and that had somewhat spooked him after the date had ended. He'd been completely certain that he wouldn't meet anyone even close to what he wanted, and hadn't allowed for any deviation from that mindset. Having that belief challenged was worrying.

The guy was smart, silver tongued, and pretty sexy. He wore a suit to perfection, knew all the right things to say, and was flirtatious by nature. Which was all good, and certainly wasn't a turn off, but it wasn't enough for Laxus. He was all too focused on flirting, and didn't show off the other facets of his personality, which Laxus had wanted.

But if he had done that, what then? What if he had a good sense of humour, or was passionate about random things and would happily speak of them for hours? Laxus liked men like that, and his date had been dangerously close to that.

What if he'd gotten Laxus to match with him? What would happen then?

Those thoughts were plaguing his mind as he walked into the preparation room. He hadn't prepared himself for actually meeting someone, certainly not someone he wanted to get serious with. Laxus didn't get serious with guys, he was more of a love them and leave them kind of guy. It was part of the reason he wanted to disprove this place; not everyone was looking to find a guy to settle down with, and Laxus saw himself as one of those people. But the entire selling point of THE S0U1MATE SYSTEM was that it matched people together in relationships that would last.

Who even was he when he was in a relationship? Would he be one of those people who obsessively cleaned their home to impress their partner? Would he have to constantly be thinking about dates and things to do? Would he have to buy the guy flowers? He didn't know how to do that shit. He didn't think he even wanted to do that shit.

"Laxus," Freed asked, cutting through Laxus' growing panic. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry, fine," Laxus lied. He didn't say anything else.

Freed didn't push conversation, apparently noticing that Laxus wasn't in the mood for their conversations. Laxus walked to the small sofa that he'd previously ignored, sat down, and listened to the gentle tapping of Freed's fingers against the tablet. He closed his eyes and tried to drown out his thoughts.

He wasn't ready for the date this time, because if they were meant to get better each day, then the guy he'd be matched with next might one day become someone important to him. What if he fucked the date up and the guy didn't wanna match with him? What if the guy was perfect for him and he didn't feel anything? Maybe he'd spent years sleeping around, never being with the same guy for longer than a month, and it'd fucked him up somehow.

"If you'd like to enter the pod," Freed prompted, and Laxus looked up to see the clothing pod lit up.

Doing as he was told, he walked into the pod and waited for his clothes to change. After it happened, he felt that his pants had been replaced by something uncomfortably clingy, and he frowned a little. The frown turned to a grimace when he saw his reflection.

"The fuck?" He demanded.

He was dressed in all green, wearing tights and a slightly sparkling tunic. He looked fucking stupid; even more stupid that he had on the damn Wipeout video. He gaped at his own reflection, not entirely sure what to say. The whiplash from emotional turmoil to embarrassed confusion was overwhelming.

"The fuck!" He repeated.

"You'll apparently be performing as Peter Pan for your next date," Freed informed him, and something close to dread built inside of Laxus' stomach. What the fuck? What the fuck! How the fuck had anyone thought that was something he'd enjoy? Who could think he'd wanna be with someone who wanted him to… to perform on stage while looking like an asshole?

"I fucking am not." He snapped.

"The system states that you'll have a very high matching rate with her," Freed replied, before frowning. Laxus also turned to look at him. "You only wanted to be matched with men, didn't you?"

"That's right," Laxus nodded, voice low. It had set him up with a woman?

Freed looked down at his tablet, face scrunching slightly for a moment as he swiped and tapped at the glass, and Laxus tried not to enjoy the sight. He seemed to understand something, flicked on the screen a few more times, and the pod Laxus had left lit up again. Laxus frowned, looking towards it in confusion before turning his gaze back onto Freed.

"There was a blip in the system. Apparently your date and another man's date were mixed up. If you'd like to step into the pod again it'll give you your actual outfit."

Relief flooded through Laxus. There were certain things that he would have outright refused to do, and making an ass out of himself on a stage, dressed like a glorified pixie was certainly one of them. But the contract he had signed said he was obligated to undergo all simulations if he didn't find a match, as not doing so would harm the reputation of the company unfairly. Would Freed had forced him to do it if he hadn't noticed? Laxus hoped not, but he couldn't be sure.

The new outfit was a lot more simple. It was normal clothing, with a large winter coat and, he realised a moment before he tripped, his shoes had been replaced by ice-skates. He knew how to skate, so it wasn't a problem, and compared to what he'd nearly had to undergo, this was perfect.

"Would I have had to do the fucking performance if you didn't notice it?" He asked.

"I'm sure the system would have picked up the mistake before you went in," Freed dismissed, tapping on the tablet, and lighting the door to the simulation room. "You should go now. Don't want to keep him waiting."

Laxus glanced towards Freed, not commenting on how obvious Freed was being in his dismissal. He walked through the door to see an ice rink empty of everything but one man, who was skating towards him. As Laxus skated towards his date, all he could seem to think of was how much better this was than Peter-Fucking-Pan.

His previous nerves about the date were the last thing on his mind.

---

"So here's the thing," Laxus said as he walked into the prep room. "I think you lied to me yesterday."

"Lied about what?" Freed asked.

"This is supposed to be the most successful, most advanced matchmaking system in the whole world, right? It's unmatched and has years of coding and advancements in technology inside of it, right?" He asked, and Freed nodded. "So it kinda seems a little bit bullshit that it wouldn't understand that a guy who's gay would only wanna go on a date with other guys. Feels like that's one of the basic things it should get right?"

"That would be a fair assumption."

"So, if that's right, then it seems unlikely that it'd just happen to me. Seems even weirder that it'd happen conveniently when there's a guy watching over the sessions to pick up the mistake," Laxus walked towards Freed, maintaining eye contact. "All seems coincidental."

"I suppose it does."

"Yeah, it does," Laxus nodded. "So why don't you admit that you're the reason it happened."

"If you already know, what would me admitting to it do?"

Laxus laughed. He didn't know what he had been expecting when he decided to confront Freed with his realisation, which had happened half way through the date with the guy, but he hadn't thought he'd get an honest admission without a moment's guilt.

He wasn't angry about what Freed had done. If he'd gone on the date wearing the costume then he'd certainly be pissed off, but in reality he'd only worn the stupid clothes for a minute or two, and Freed had quickly replaced them with what he was actually meant to wear. In reality it was just a weird thing that Freed had decided to do for a reason Laxus didn't quite understand.

"You really just wanted me to look like a jackass?"

"No, that was coincidental," Freed admitted. "A happy coincidence, mind you, but not the reason I did it. You clearly had gotten overwhelmed by the possibility that the system might actually work, and you were getting in your own head about it. You needed to be shocked out of your own self-doubts, and it was the easiest way to do it. A simple ice-skating date is hardly a challenge when you've just avoided something ridiculous that you'd never enjoy."

Oh, that was actually kinda nice. Weird, but nice. Not what he expected. It was almost flattering, in a way, that Freed had chosen to help him at all.

Of course he couldn't actually say that. He'd entered the room with a build-up of energy, having expected he would need to force the truth out of him by repeatedly asking him. He had been so certain that it would take their entire time together, and it would end with Freed laughing and Laxus trying to salvage his own pride back. He'd half thought that his costumed self would be edited into the fucking Wipeout video to further add to his embarrassment. A kind, if not slightly odd, action was hardly what he expected.

"So, is it actually automated?" He asked, instead of voicing his thanks because it was the only thing he could think of saying. "Or have you just been saying it is while doing everything yourself."

"No, it's automated, but I can override anything should I want to, which is what I did."

"Show me," Laxus demanded.

Freed nodded, moving slightly so Laxus could stand beside him in front of the tablet. Laxus stood behind him, trying to ignore the fact that this was the closest he'd been to Freed, and he could almost feel the heat radiating off him. It was hardly an appropriate thing to think, particularly when he was going to be on a date with another man damn soon.

He focused on the interface. He saw a quick flash of what his date would be – another meal with a guy – before Freed overrode the system. He pressed a few buttons and ended up controlling the clothing pod. He loaded the program up, and was given a large interface of different outfits, all with pictures to show what they'd look like.

"It's surprisingly user friendly," Freed said, pressing a random outfit and loading it into the system. "Now if you went inside, you'd be wearing that."

"So even I could do it, then?" Laxus asked with a grin, and Freed faltered beside him.

"I suppose."

"What you did for me was pretty nice of ya, but I still ended up like an idiot in a costume because you made me wear it," Laxus mused aloud, and Freed audibly sighed beside him. "So if you think you're getting away without me turning the tables on ya, you're an idiot."

"I probably should have expected that," Freed murmured to himself, and Laxus laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder, and gently guiding him towards the pod. Freed didn't fight him.

"You should have," Laxus agreed, pushing him into the pod before Freed could second guess anything.

He stood at the tablet a moment later, knowing Freed was watching him. He swiped down the hundreds of outfits before inspiration struck him. He pressed the button for the search bar, typed in his idea, looked over the ten or so options before picking the one that looked the most ridiculous. He added it into the system, pressed the apply button, and grinned as the pod flashed with light. A moment later, Freed was revealed, and Laxus burst into laughter.

Freed looked ridiculous. Dressed entirely in an old-fashioned jester's outfit, purple and yellow, with a stupid hat covered in golden bells. He looked at himself in the mirror, crossing his arms unimpressed as Laxus guffawed at him.

"Holy shit," Laxus cackled. "What kinda date would need you to be dressed like that?"

"The system needs to cover all bases," Freed grunted, expression showing annoyance, but Laxus felt like a smile wanted to break through when the bells on his hat jingled. "Can I have my own clothes back, please?"

"We've got a couple minutes before the sim starts, that's enough time to have fun," Laxus grinned, scrolling through the recommended costumes. He found one, applied it to the pod and activated it.

A moment later, Freed was dressed as a circus clown, and Laxus spluttered into laughter all over again.

"Very mature," Freed mumbled sarcastically, though his words were slightly nasally because of the large red nose he wore. "I'm glad you're having fun."

"I am," Laxus grinned, holding back sniggers as he took in Freed for a moment before he began scrolling again.

This was an opportunity that he couldn't waste, and he'd get the man in as many stupid costumes he could before the date began. He quickly settled on a vampire costume that looked equal parts cheap and ridiculous. Once he applied it, he was slightly disappointed to see that Freed managed to pull it off with startlingly good looks. It was twenty-fifty-five, nobody should be able to look good while wearing a cape.

"The fact you're not complaining about this kind of takes the fun out of it," Laxus teased. "You like dressing up or something?"

"Not particularly, but I'd rather you be doing this than stressing about your date," Freed shrugged, seemingly all too comfortable dressed like a vampire. "Night six has the highest success rate. I thought you'd be panicking, this is better."

Laxus paused for a moment, but didn't say anything. He instead found another costume, and grinned when he saw how little it suited Freed. A clean-cut man like Freed didn't make a good caveman.

He fiddled with the tablet for a little while longer, flicking between costumes. Freed managed to make them look better than he had any right to do, but some of them looked ridiculous and Laxus decided to enjoy those as much as he could. A small timer at the bottom of the screen told him the simulation would be ready within the minute, and in a scramble to further annoy Freed, Laxus quickly picked a random outfit from the selection of superhero costumes. He had applied it before the lights to the simulation lit up, and smirked.

The smirk fell when he looked towards Freed. He'd expected it to be a cheap thing covered in cushioned muscles. The reality was… snug. Too snug for Laxus sanity, truly. He'd expected that Freed was hot as well as handsome, but having it clarified wasn't helping things. The guy was muscular, had a tight body, and biceps that strained against the fabric. Laxus pointedly didn't look down. That would be too much.

And he managed to pull off a bright red cape too. How? Capes were stupid. Not hot.

"You've had your fun," Freed said, and Laxus found solace in looking at his face rather than his very, very visible body. "May I have my own clothes back before you start your date?"

"Why?" Laxus asked as he stepped away from the podium. "Can't you do it yourself while I'm in there?"

"No, I can't," Freed muttered, and Laxus grinned.

"That kinda sounds like a you problem," He smirked, and Freed's face darkened for a moment as he stepped out of the pod. His cape billowed behind him and Laxus smirked. He patted the man on the shoulder. "I don't wanna leave my date waiting, after all," Without any reason to, he actually winked at Freed. "Enjoy your walk home, Superman."

As he entered the sim, he was fairly certain those few seconds of seeing Freed blushing unabashedly would be better than any date the system had in store for him.

---

"Is there something wrong with me?"

The high of messing with Freed hadn't lasted throughout the date, and the feelings had been replaced with a maudlin sense of nothingness. That was a feeling Laxus couldn't seem to get rid of throughout the day, and had persisted as he walked into the preparation room for the last time.

On paper, his date was his perfect man. He was intelligent and suave, well lived and happy to talk about his passions. He was hot, had the long hair that Laxus had always favoured on men, and had been pretty good company. He knew the guy was into him, and he felt like he should have reciprocated the attraction. This man should have been ideal for him, and yet Laxus had felt like he was going through the motions. It made him wonder, if that man wasn't right for him, then who the hell would be?

"What makes you say that?" Freed asked, who had been hunched over his table, furiously tapping at it before he'd entered.

"You said most people match with their sixth date. The guy was nice, good looking, we had interests in common," Laxus muttered. "Didn't feel anything for him."

"That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you."

"Maybe," Laxus didn't believe it.

He'd wanted to be the person who ruined THE S0U1MATES SYSTEM'S reputation. He'd wanted to be the person who proved that soulmates were pointless because they didn't exist, and even if they did, a computer program wouldn't be the way to find them. He just hadn't realised that, if he did prove that to be true, it would feel like a punch to the gut.

The system had a complete success rate! Everyone who had ever been involved found love. It was fact. Laxus was apparently going to be the exception to that. He was the first unlovable person to enter the program, and he would be the idiot who couldn't get a boyfriend no matter what.

It was shit. It was just fucking shit.

"Laxus, they're just dates," Freed said softly, placing a hand on Laxus shoulder in a comforting gesture. It felt like fire against him. "We dress them up with fancy technology, and we can explain the science in a way that makes it sound impressive, but a date is just a date. When you get two people together, they can fall in love within a moment, but they could also hate one another. That can happen to anyone, no matter what the statistics say."

"The statistics ain't got it wrong with anyone else."

"And you don't know that they have with you. People wait for the seventh night, and it works out for them," Freed assured him, the hand now gently massaging him. It was electric, and Laxus could almost allow himself to be thrilled by it. "And even if the man isn't the person you end up with, you'll find someone at some point. Don't put this on some kind of pedestal, all you'll be doing is meeting a man for the first time."

"The guy's meant to be my soulmate," Laxus scoffed. "It ain't exactly like meeting for coffee."

"It is what you make it, Laxus," Freed placated him. "Not matching with him isn't a failure of personality. It's just a thing that has happened, and it doesn't shape you."

"I guess," Laxus muttered, not exactly confident in his own words.

"You will find someone Laxus," Freed said firmly. "You're fun, intelligent, confident, good looking. A man is out there, and he will find you. Just give him time."

Freed didn't say anything else, and instead patted Laxus on the shoulder and returned to his tablet to do whatever it was he did. Laxus looked down at the floor, his nerves and self-pity only slightly at bay as he tried to agree with what Freed had said. He had come into the program wanting to prove that it was false, and he should have known this would be the outcome.

Focusing on his own problems, he didn't notice the slight change in posture from Freed. His eyes had widened, and he was tapping somewhat manically at the tablet. His teeth were gritting together and his heart hammering. A moment later, he stood up, and Laxus frowned when he saw how tense he looked.

"Don't overreact to this," Freed demanded, voice too calm. "This is a glitch, nothing else. The system has flaws, this is apparently one of them."

"What?"

He took a moment before speaking again. "Apparently you haven't been matched with someone tonight," Freed spoke quietly, almost under his breath, and Laxus felt as though he had been shot. Freed was quick to speak before Laxus could spiral. "This is the program not being able to work as intended. It is not a reflection of you. Do you understand me?"

"Fucks sake," Laxus growled, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck!"

"It's not you, Laxus," Freed tried to tell him, but Laxus was walking towards the door. He needed to leave, to get out of this damn place as quickly as he could. Why the hell had he gone there? He was an idiot. He shouldn't have gone. "Wait. Laxus, don't leave."

"Why the hell shouldn't I?"

"Because I don't want you to," Freed said quickly. "I don't want you to feel like you're… whatever it is your feeling. Because whatever it is, whatever you're telling yourself, is false."

"How the hell do you know?"

"I've watched every date of yours, Laxus. I know you, and you are a good man, and anyone would be happy to have you," He insisted, stepping towards Laxus, and placing a hand on his forearm. "If I'm honest, I found myself somewhat jealous that those men got to be with you. I'm sure I could find hundreds of men who would feel exactly the same. Truth be told, I had to stop watching you talking with that little blonde ass last night. It's unprofessional, I know, but it must be said. You are a man who, one day, will be adored and you will deserve it."

Laxus scoffed. "Sure."

"You're incredible, Laxus," Freed stepped closer, placing a hand on Laxus' cheek. Laxus blushed at the action despite himself. "And if this program has made you think otherwise, even for a moment, then it is pointless. Do you understand me?"

"You think I'm incredible?" Laxus asked, voice a little raspy as he looked down at Freed.

"I do."

"Then do something about it," Laxus whispered because he needed Freed to do this.

And he did.

Freed leant forward without hesitation, tilting up his head and slowly, cautiously pushed his lips against Laxus'. His hand remained on Laxus' cheek, and slowly he started to move his lips in tandem with Laxus', opening his mouth slightly as he pushed himself up against him. Laxus wrapped an arm around Freed's waist, and felt himself clinging to the man as if he were a lifeline.

The kiss could only last a moment, and when Laxus pulled away and was met with the slightly flushed, kiss swollen expression of Freed in his arms, all of his doubts seemed to flow away. This was more important.

"Damn," He whispered, and Freed breathed out a laugh.

"Yes," He agreed. "Damn."

"Wanted to do that from when I first saw ya," Laxus admitted.

"And I you," Freed confessed, smiling. "I must admit, watching you with those men became somewhat torturous by the end."

"Would've stopped if you told me," Laxus shrugged.

"Then you might not have come back, and I didn't want that any more than I wanted to see you match with someone," Freed chuckled.

They stayed in their embrace for a moment, Laxus gently stroking Freed's lower back with his fingers in a slow and comforting gesture. Freed was still cupping his cheek, and it was a delightful sensation that Laxus didn't want to break. He would have to at some point, and he found himself at a loss of what to do next. For a moment he considered asking Freed to set up some kind of simulation for them both, but he felt he'd had enough of the damn place for now.

"You wanna maybe go somewhere and get something to eat?" He asked, and Freed pulled back slightly with a smile.

"That'd be nice," Freed agreed, though then smirked. "Though are you sure it's not too boring? Wouldn't you rather ice skating? Or maybe a boxing match? Or an obstacle course that you keep failing at?"

"Don't be a dick," Laxus laughed, pulling himself off of Freed. "Or I'll drag you back to the pod and you'll have to go to dinner dressed as batman. Dunno how happy a restaurant is gonna be with the Dark Night's cape falling in the soup."

"I'd rather avoid that. My roommate already thinks me odd after what you did yesterday, I don't need anyone else agreeing with him," Freed laughed, and Laxus grinned at the confession. He wrapped an arm around Freed's waist as they began to leave the room. "Though, if I could get you in the Peter Pan costume again I couldn't complain. Those tights were rather flattering."

"Didn't realise you were lookin'," Laxus smirked.

"I was more subtle than you were, then," Freed grinned, and Laxus laughed.

As they left the room, the simulation unused, neither man noticed the screen of the table lighting up with an updated message.

Laxus Dreyar.

Profile = Matched.

Soulmate Level = 100%

[rockcandyrebels]

A Really Important Chapter

CaraBanned:

So let's see...how did the last dream end? With Kysme jokingly saying "that totally makes me wanna kiss you" and Liyah just going "Well, why haven't you?" not so jokingly...

I assume there wouldn't be a real action taken right now? Instead, Aaliyah just...turns her head back towards the sky, silently. "I kind of mean it, Kysme. Why haven't you kissed me yet?" And there was silence, or at least a certain type of white noise in which you know somebody is talking, but the words fall on deaf ears. (I imagine Kysme replies dumbly, "What do you mean", or a variation of that)

" Actually, no, I have a better question- do you think there could ever be anything between us? I don't mean anything casual or like friends with benefits sort of shit. Could you see us being more than friends, the meaningful way?" No white noise, only silence. Aaliyah probably huffs, her face feeling kind of hot on account of being embarrassed. She shouldn't have brought this up, but oh well, it's already up. She might as well continue. So she does. "You don't gotta lie to me or anything, coddle my feelings or some shit. I just wanna know! And I'm not trying to force anything on you, because I don't really know how I feel about you either. I know that I care about you at least, and sometimes i mix feelings up within myself. I just want things to be clear. So..." She'd blow a strand of hair out of her face with a sigh. "Yeah."

There, she said it. Now all she has to do is wait.(edited)

And that's when things got unclear because how the fuck am i supposed to figure out meaningful dialogue for kysme by myself-

Memphis-Rex:

My girl.

//Clutches chest

CaraBanned:

LMAO MEMPHIS

Memphis-Rex:

SHE JUST LAID IT OUT STRAIGHT AND BARE IN ONE SHOT.

The bravery-

CaraBanned:

GOD YEAH tbh I think the whole journey of this dreamscape just...came from that talk a long time ago? Me asking you if you think that kysme could toy with the fact that the two could be something more? (Rightly named in the blog "something more") basically just liyah putting her heart out on her sleeve all vulnerable and what not and trusting kysme to be serious with her for a second.

if only I could be like that in real life tho, shitttt

Memphis-Rex:

I feel serious Kysme would be silent a lot since he's actually taking time to chew over his words before spitting them out. So yeah those silences are something-

CaraBanned:

Oh gosh, glad that was right on the mark then. Don't take too long though, Kysme. Liyah might start feeling real silly, getting up and trying to brush it off like

Memphis-Rex :

And hmmmm. I feel like he might counter with a question first. After a tense moment he relaxes back into the grass, staring at the sky as well. "I don't know. I don't usually feel this way about people either. Am I even worth a genuine effort at something more? I fuck up so easily."

In that brief moment his tough guy persona slips aside, and you can see his own insecurity of losing things he cares about and his fears of being emotional.

Maybe, for once, his voice sounds gentle.

Kysme is fully aware of how shitty he can be. Sometimes he can't help it. In a way, he doesn't want to be the one who hurts her.

Would he be able to forgive himself for such a thing.

CaraBanned:

Oh, hey Memphis?

Fuck you???

This hurts more than it should?? Vunerable Kysme????ouch???

Lmao you can sleep now though if needed, you'll be rewarded a nice piece of HC. Thank you for your efforts.

CaraBanned:

His response would make liyah do a double take-turning her head to watch him again, her face obviously surprised by his change of tone. Wow. Just wow. Imagine her mouth opening to form words, though not being able to really say anything at first. Just studying his face.

"You're worth it."

Not a general, safe, 'everyone is worth it', or a shrug and wishy-washy kind of deliverance. It would be said with a quiet kind of conviction, like she actually means it. Because she does. And she smiles a bit at that, fondly. "Trust me, Kysme. I've been through the ringer a couple times with this kind of shit. Fucking up comes with the playing field- don't be so hard on yourself."

And I can see her doing something sweet, like reaching out and grabbing a hold of kysme's hand, gently so. Something to know that she's there, that she hears him. "But someone else's words probably mean nothing when your mind is convinced. Maybe you have to convince yourself that youre worth it, yeah?" She'd sigh, still her hand on top of his, a comfortable sort of silence.

Memphis-Rex:

There's gonna be a pause as he relishes the sensation of her hands on his. You know with how often he takes her hand jokingly to stare at its glistening surface, it's probably the first time she held his hand of her own accord. He'd bite his lip, say something like "I'll work on it." Another moment. Then, a careful movement as to not crush the arm that was previously holding his hand, he rolls over to lie on his side, closer to her, propping himself up on one elbow. There's this intense look in his candy colored eyes as he gazes down upon her face, and this time he doesn't hide it (recap-- the time he'd get distracted looking at her while she talks about movies). He's just taking it all in, up close, straightforwardly. "...But we can change one thing first." He says, referring to the earlier question of why he hasn't kissed her yet. And---

(ok if Aaliyah isn't down with this we can always change it XD)(edited)

Memphis-Rex:

Pt. 2--- Hypothetically speaking, if they do indeed get together, I feel nothing too much will change about their dynamics? They still have their silly banters and teasing, but finally they're not repressing their feelings so it feels more..liberating? To show some act of affection.

And I'm not saying Kysme becomes perfect boyfriend material immediately. He still makes her eyes roll to the sky with his stupidity. ("Shit, he's the biggest dumbass in the world but he's my dumbass" suddenly crosses my mind)

But there are some subtle changes in the way he acts now.(edited)

Is she going to feel bothered by his habit of occasionally sleeping with strangers (seeing her past with another pretty boy cough cough)? Cause I think the amount of times he fools around will dwindle if he's in a relationship but habits/hobbies die hard...He would try to be transparent about the matter though.

CaraBanned:

(I FUCKING FELL ALSEEP WAITING FOR THIS. GOD. FUCKING. DAMNIT.)

(First of all aaliyah is down yes of course the fuck you think memphis //still reading/)

Memphis-Rex:

(HAHAHA)

(And you woke up?! Now?!)

(also doesn't hurt to double check lel)

CaraBanned:

(LOL my body must have realized that I was missing straight up PERFECT QUALITY HCING)

(And true! Okay hold on while I respond something good.)

Oh gosh, your respond to the HC kind of like, feels like the perfect end already, but I will add on one thing to it- the idea of Aaliyah's heart thumping faster and faster as she realizes what exactly kysme is about to do. A loud thump, thump, thump pounding against her ears. Her eyes growing wider and her heart jumping at her throat, because holy shit...is he really gonna do it? Is he really going to do it? and when he does do it, its like something clicks in place with her head. Something nice and tender and a little scary. She'd close her eyes and sink into the kiss almost immediately, moving her hands up to cup his cheeks and hoping to god that that burning sensation comes soon- it would be safe to assume that she herself has been guilty of wondering how it would feel on her lips, sue her. (If it does come soon then she's probably left breathless and panting and if kysme asks if she needs a second she just goes "Fuck no." She was waiting for this kiss, even if she didnt think she was ever going to get it. (stay tuned for pt.2)

And I was gonna say that too, tbh! Like...they didn't need much to shift at all- theyve always been pretty comfy with each other and to the outside viewer it probably doesnt look like anything at all has changed unless they spot some nuances (like couch hand holding, aaliyah not complaining when the guy touches her, even if he grabs her by the waist or something, her sitting on his lap while watching a movie, etc) It just kind of...comes naturally. Liberating, as you say. Just...everything is right for once. (Also don't mind me but I totally wouldn't mind if this became non-hypothetical, if ya know what I mean, hueh hueh. //rubs my grubby raccoon hands together/).

The stupidity becomes endearing in a way, exactly as you say ("my big pink dumbass").

No, I don't think she's going to be bothered by it if he's honest about it (and as long as he saves his sweetest parts for her, you know? Like don't go confiding in strangers when you have a perfectly good girlfriend here to cuddle with.) The issue that destroyed her and Samael's relationship, besides the politics, was the lying to cover the hookups and the using and emotional abuse. It wasn't the fact that Sam was sleeping around, its the fact that she was the last to know, usually through other people. And what a shitty feeling is that. So even if he still has trouble with the deep conversation portion or the relationship, as long as he isn't lying to her face on petty shit, she wont make a big deal about it. Maybe even jokes about it when he tells her. ("Oh, cool. So is that the one you were talking about organizing the threesome with?") And that is to say that although she herself isn't someone to sleep around, I could see her branching out herself, once or twice. Lol (also speaking of which if we are going down this road she 'll likely tell him about that whole relationship fiasco, get ready for that can of worms kysme)

[themomsandthecity]

My Mom Was Not My Best Friend Growing Up, and I'm Glad

My mom wasn't the "cool" mom. Sorry mom, love ya. Growing up, I was the kid with the strict parents. Painfully strict. I was grounded . . . a lot. Sometimes for stuff that even now I think was a little ridiculous (a week for saying "shut up"? Really, Mom and Dad?). Other things, like sneaking out to go to a party with boys my friends and I met on the beach . . . well that month-long grounding doesn't even really seem like enough in hindsight. By the time I was allowed to watch R-rated movies, I knew the spoilers for them all anyway since everyone else on the planet had seen them already, and I snuck episodes of my favorite "adult" shows while my parents were out of the house. My homework was done before I could go out, my bedtime was set in stone, and talking back to my mom or dad was the ultimate crime. Cursing was completely out of the question; I'm still not allowed to say f*ck in front of them. Not that it stops me. So no, my mom wasn't my best friend growing up. She wasn't even my friend. She was my mom, and I am so, so glad she was. I had plenty of friends with moms or dads who took the "I'm your friend, not just your parent" route. We went to their houses for the parties, we took advantage of their leniency, we had our first kisses (etc.) on their couches. We sipped our first alcoholic beverages there (Mike's Hard Lemonade, someone kill me), because "if we were going to drink" they'd "much rather us do it in the house." But my mom enforced the rules, she held me accountable, and she stuck to her word and her law - even if I didn't always (or ever) agree it with it or like it. She called me out on my bullsh*t, and trust me, I was chock-full of it back then. Yes, I had to stay in and work on projects and papers while my friends half-assed their homework and were able to do fun things without me. Yes, I was the one who couldn't go to the "cool" aka sketchy parties where things that should not have been going down went way, way down. And yes, my mom and I steadily butted heads throughout my teenage years, racking up so many slammed doors (on my part), tear-filled tantrums (me again), and long phone calls (her with her own mom, me b*tching to my friends) that I genuinely lost count around age 14. I wasn't complaining so much when report cards came back and I was lining up my As in a nice row. Or when the "friends" my mom limited my time with because she didn't trust them screwed up time and again (legally, academically, socially, etc.), and I wasn't there with them because I was at home. Grounded, probably. But home. But here's the thing. When those same friends - whom I loved despite (and because of) their antics - screwed me over and broke my heart, my mom never uttered anything close to "I told you so." Instead, she held me while I cried, she promised me it would get better, she finally let me watch those episodes of Buffy and she sat there and watched them all with me. When I was tearing out my hair because math was ruining my soul (not much has changed there), she was the one telling me grades aren't everything (yes something, but not everything), she was the one taking me to and from tutoring to try and help me, she was the one trying to figure out that damn equation that she didn't know the answer to any more than I did. Maybe I wasn't giving her every juicy detail of my private life, but she knew the big stuff, and most importantly, she took the time to know me. Even though I fought against her every single step of the way. My mom wasn't my best friend then, but you can sure as hell bet she is now. I grew up being taught to respect her as a parent, but somewhere along the way, and because of all that she did for me as I grew up, I came to respect her as person, as a woman, and as a friend. I look back at all those times she held firm on what seemed like her harsh rules, and I see her side of things. How hard it must have been for her to feel like the villain when all she was doing was what she believed in her heart was the right thing as a mother. How many times she probably wished she could've taken the easy route and said "yes" when saying "no" was so much more difficult. But she didn't. Maybe she wavered behind closed doors, but never in front of me. I know where I got my stubbornness from, among many other qualities. She and my dad were steady forces in my life, and though we are complete opposites on (nearly) everything even to this day, it was worth the ups and downs of adolescent angst to get to where we are now. My parents were parents when I needed them to be, and now as an adult, I've gotten to know them again, this time as my friends. http://bit.ly/2qbBQrV