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#and ill need a distraction for. reasons
scienceroach · 7 months
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i forgot i have a mva multi @mcnstersvsaliens
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painterofstars · 9 months
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i've always liked their big, swishy skirts so i drew them taking a walk together :^)
bonus
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cathalbravecog · 1 year
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Mity I doodled (mostly from memory) earlier instead of studying for finals
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triglycercule · 13 days
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UGH i wrote another stupid small thing 4 swapinverse.... idk whats wrong with me why am i writing so much swapinverse stuff when i havent even finished it. anyways swapinverse killer here take this (this one is much vaguer bc it takes place before a lot of the more like obvious events happen??? idk only i understand what i'm talking about here)
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open eyes. greeting by the dark ceiling again. get dressed. typical routine for him… nothing new. nothing interesting. papyrus will knock on the door soon. he should probably prepare for that. no need to stay in bed. that won't do anything anyways. he’ll still feel nothing. like normal, he knocks after the jacket is put on. and he opens that door, to be greeted with the enthusiastic, smiling face of his brother.
sans smiles. obviously, he has to. otherwise paps will get worried, and he doesn't wanna have to deal with a worried paps. it just makes things worse for everyone. they walk through the forest, paps leads him to the guard station, and he sits. same as usual… the exact same. the same routine, nothing new. nothing new. the same. it's all the same.
sans had long since gotten tired of this monotony. soon, chara would come out of that door. he’d introduce himself to them, and they’d play that short game of pretend where they pretended not to know each other. like they always did. chara mentioned something about it being scripted or something, but sans couldn't be bothered to care. besides, the human always mumbled random stuff like that. it meant nothing. nothing new. they’d kill the rest of the underground, he’d fight them because he has nothing better to do, and die.
although they did mention that deal they’d been talking about? what was that? join them? yeah, no. he wasn't gonna do that. no matter how many resets passed.
oh. here they come. better get on track. or onto script, like chara says. for some reason, they say that. the saying gets stuck a bit in sans’s head. just a bit though, since it’s a new thought. and they turn, and sans shakes hands with chara.
he’s long since ditched the whoopee cushion. despite them still doing what was practically a ritual at this point, that was the only change that ever happened. nice that he chose for the newness, but it didn't change much. but… something was off. something was wrong. and sans could feel it. he could feel it. and that was what was wrong.
it wasn't with the way chara smiled, or their posture, or how their hand was outstretched. not the strange, expectant excitement in their red eyes, although that was a bit new. it wasn't even all of the dust covering them, certainly from the ruins. no, the issue was from sans himself. he could feel something wrong. like some sort of internal dread? no, something worse… an ache? he’d gotten used to all the one’s he normally felt, so what was it?
once the human’s hand left his and walked through the gate, he knew what it was. something… that something he could feel. that something that passed through the barrier of apathy he’d built all this time. an itch? sans scratched at his head, just idly. physical or not, he didn't know. he had to figure it out. and so, he followed after the human.
after a while of watching them, chara, do their… usual business, sans had came to a conclusion. it was both. and also, neither. the itch was something that he could feel, but not physically. so it was a mental itch. and that itch managed to effect him so badly he felt it on his bones. strange. and for some reason, as he watched chara slaughter one after another, kill and murder another one of his kin, sans couldn't wrench his eye lights away from the sight. for some reason, he couldn't stop watching as chara singly handledly destroyed his species. for some reason, he followed.
"it's not that bad, anyways. just… morbid curiosity. it wouldn't hurt to just… scratch that itch a bit. nothing will come of it."
and sans made sure to say that one out loud, just to convince himself.
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oooh pal buddy you do not know what you are in for!!!! you are about to experience terrible suffering at your own hands!!!! sucks to suck lmao at least your chara is just as confused as you are during the process haha! i love swapinverse this is so fun i keep on saying that but i really should write more
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tsukasalover · 17 days
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(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
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(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
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micamone · 3 months
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hey guys
#vent#just... gimmie a sec im gonna put it in the tags i cant find the readmore on my phone rn#im havin a straight up not good time but not the worst in the house!#the worst is my cat. whose old and dying. and i have no money to put to sleep to fuckin put us both outta this misery#typical. she cant get a heart attack and go fast like my moms dog#shes gotta wail and be ill for a month while im recovering from one surgery and trying to get ready for the next#its also an amazing time for my ocd that i learned i have from artists on hear explaining what it is to send me into spirals#over germs. but shes just 20 with teeth and respiratory issues her whole life and been struggling with constipation#so i KNOW how shes dying. shes backed up and hungry and dehydrated but feeling bloated still and not eating or drinking.#shes probably got arthritis and has been moving like a geriatric for a while but its to the point now she wont even lay down. shes just#perched on a pile of towels in the bathroom dozing and occasionally crying for me to come pet her. im so fuckin tired#and theres nothing i can do! the vet i could find a timeslot for in a reasonable time said 500$. so thats cool. im paying 1000$ for me in#a week for my stuff and its just. god all she and i are doing is crying and it sucks ass#she wants company for comfort and i dont blame her - so the fuck do i!#but i cant sit in the bathroom with her my damn legs keep going numb. and my roomate 1) cant emotionally buoy me thru this#and 2) has a long work day tomorrow and its already mad late. sigh#dont try to offer me condolences ive worked thru her dying already its just now we're botb exhausted in the form its taking#if anything i just need another distraction to keep me from spiraling over something again#edit: ARUGH AND THE OTHER CAT THROWING UP IN THE OTHER ROOM. GOD DAMN IT#the younger one has so many allergies and wont stop fucking eating things off the floor babygirl i am BEDRIDDEN you gotta stop eating shit#off the floor!!!!!!!! you have specialty food for a reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#awesome it was right in my bed
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theygender · 4 months
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What are you talking about. Exactly zero of these things are essentials
#i hate new cars sm man 😭#i cant even afford a car payment rn but i know i need to get a new car asap#bc my 11 year old ford exploder keeps having parts fail on me and also theres a concerning rust issue going on#so im looking into car options a lil bit so i can maybe get an idea of whats out there#once im done with my payments on like braces and other stuff and hopefully have a bit more wiggle room#and i was already not liking the idea of looking at New new cars bc like#i want buttons man. i dont want some touch screen bullshit thats gonna distract me while im driving you know?#i got spoiled with my 2003 and im worried what its gonna be like if i have to get a New car#so im looking into new car options for literally 5 seconds and immediately find this#'well the interior is made out of shitty fabric but at least it has essentials like [things i absolutely dont need or even want] :D'#like. everything there is completely unnecessary. and fucking ALEXA??#why would i want muskrat to be able to spy on me while im driving. wtf is this bullshit#maybe ill just need to look into used cars specifically but its always such a crapshoot#last time i bought a used car secondhand i ended up with something that broke down literally two days after i bought it#(only reason my current car was good when i got it was bc i bought it from my grandma)#i guess maybe a used car dealership might be better bc then at least i would have some accountability if they sell me something shit?#but i dont even know where to start looking when it comes to finding a used car that i would like...#and i dont exactly just wanna walk into a dealership clueless to see what they have there. i wanna be prepared so they cant fuck with me#idk. still gonna be a while until i can get to that point anyway#rambling#edit: just realized alexa is bezos not musk. but fuck em both i dont care. two heads of the same hydra
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yanderespamton78 · 5 months
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my one goal in life is to be tagged in one of those tag games where you have to do a picrew or answer a question or smth. i dont wanna start one because it wouldne be the same. just know that if you ever tag me in one of them i will spontaneously combust.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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rapidhighway · 1 year
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i have to go get a pen
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months
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if i doodle during unlucky monkey stream later would we be mad at me
#not rgg#snap chats#oh yeah stream later. 4:30 THE USUAL#anyway no cause i THOUGHT about drawing during it. i prob wouldnt show it on screen since#Thats A Lot Going On LOL but im only askin in the event i do and im half-paying attention so no one wonders why im Half-Paying Attention#unlucky monkey one of my fave movies and because of that ive always wanted to draw art for it but i keep getting distracted#i suppose the best time to do so would be. during my fourth rewatch of it LOL#there a lot of ttm movie art i wanna make tbh lol... like ive made SOME but theres still more i wanna do#oh but yeah if youve read this far. for whatever reason. after unlucky monkey it'll be a normal judgment stream#'snap what do you mean normal judgment stream' i mean im playing the game for four hours LOL#i need to catch up on lost time so. lol.#i realize pretty much everyone will leave halfway into it if not the first hour of it but thats prob for the best#i'll vod it in any case so if anyone really cares to see it it'll be there#ok bye i have to. uh. god idk#im ngl i still feel crummy LOLOL but i promise i wont be crummy during stream#i forgot the most important thing about streams and that being streams are equivalent to being on stage#i mean i never became an actor for a reason LOLOL#it's a performance art and i forgot that and im mad about it. BUT I WONT FORGET THIS TIME so dont worry bout me bein ill during stream#well. ill in /that/ sense. we are watching a ttm movie ahaaaaa im a sicko 😩#IN ANY CASE. hope to see people there :) for the judgment segment i promise to make up for yesterday#NOW im gonna uhhhhh yeah idk :) oh my god my organ hurts im going to kill myself#im gonna stare at this google doc for a hot minute
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iqmmir · 11 months
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i wamt to revamp my rentry
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shrimp1y · 1 year
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Every moment that ggf doesnt blow up is a blessing I think. Like I'm like damn I wish for some virality! And less than a second later im like no that would be a terrible idea. This might sound like that fox who want the grapes but bc its outta reach he says its green but do remember my accounts are very hackable and I gptta do smth about that before the internet gets its grippers on me
#my passwords are dumb#i still use my first ever email#and like. the more I think about it the less i care about popularity. im not even on socmed#the only reason why i want virality is bc i want money. i wanna be rich. i want to move out and spend money on so fucking much therapy#i like going to the dentist#ill get all my weird symptoms checked out at the doctors#i want money. i want money!!!!!! i wanna buy houses for my besties#got distracted. anyway it sounds great but virality doesnt always equal to money thats the problem hence im like. ehhh.. nah#like. ill be happy to be viral in 5 years when my shits more together but rn im a weak frail shrimp im like a small victorian boy#ive been eating orzo in veggie broth#the internet will instantly kill me#im still gonna get my symptoms checked out at the doctors mind you. i am rich co#my parents are. and theyre in their guilty 50s stage where they look at me sadly and say shit like 'i dont remember that' when i tell them#they neglected me#so ill still get to go to my doctors. its just a matter of gettin there. but i reaaaaaally hate going out#growing up is learnin tjat no money or fame can fix u#the autism is winning. the asthma is winning. the allergies are winning. the hypermobility is winning. apparently its not just funny that#i cant hold up frying pans and choppin stuff hurts my wrist. its a runnin joke that im super weak but now im like. is this normal#my feet hurt all the time. is that normal. i get a desperate need to lie down after i do anything. 'i love being horizontal'#thats my irl catchphrase. and like. my nose are always clogged. i only recently started visiting the dentist bc they booked me in for#regular visits after comin to them to look at my wisdom tooth. and they say they can tell im a mouthbreather from my teeth#and im like girl what. i didnt know theres consequences to breathing through my mouth. and ive been thinking about the fact that im#congested 95% of the time and im like. maybeeeeee... thats not normal....... its been liek this for most of my life jsyk. is that why my#ears pop and ring all the time. apparently sinus problems can lead to ear problems. like i can sorta tell bc my nose gets completely blocked#and i gotta 'stretch' my jaw to relief the pressure on my ears every once in a while. but i thought that was just normal#i joke that im allergic to joy bc my asthma flares up when i laugh. which is kinda funny#i kinda have warmed up to like. the idea. of me bein disabled. bc im autistic and im regressing as i relearn how to actually do stuff in#a sustainable way. but man. i didnt consider my many bodily failures to be a part of it. but like with becoming more intuned with my body#and my fatigue..... its like yeah. not being able to breath is kinda tiring. i dont sleep very well either. maybe thats why i sleep so much#this is also why i shouldnt ever be known i talk too much
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lelianaslefthand · 1 year
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just remembered that now that im playing da2 i can start the da comics i got for christmas bc i HAVE to read them in chronological order (which i also did for the first 5 books). and since they start right after da2 my brain was like you cant start them until you’re at da2 even though you’re gonna zip through the first 3 before finishing the game and then everything will be after inquisition so it wont all be completely chronological anymore but that apparently doesnt matter to the worms in my brain
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dsfjjshgffdg · 2 years
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going to the store was so worth it i got to say hi to the little (3 months old iirc?) puppy again and this rlly nice smooth collie .. owner was like "they can tell u like dogs!" Fuck man i sure do
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apologeticaugur · 3 months
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i need anti depressants now... please... for the love of god...
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