#and im also not entirely sure hed act on his feelings if he Did realize he liked u

[floatingpetals]

Peace and Quiet?

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Angst-ish, language, the reader makes a poor decision, fluff as well  

Word Count: 5900+ 

Request: “I seriously love your longer one shots! Could you please do a Cap (or Bucky) + reader, where the reader is kinda loud/outgoing because of not wanting to be forgotten or something? And the reader figures they make him uncomfortable and shuts everyone out, leading to him confessing he likes the reader? Fluff please?” @homeybadger

A/N:  Wow so uhh, this has been a request that’s been sitting in my inbox for sooooo looonnng. No seriously, like super long. I feel so bad that it’s taken me just now to get to it. I wanted to do something nice with it, but I just couldn’t get it right, then I forgot it was there and then I remember and scrapped the whole thing. I hope you enjoy this story and I hope the length makes up for it! I did not mean to take so long on this! I hope you all enjoy!! 

**I’m also debating on doing a second part, but it all depends on the feedback I get. So please let me know what you think! ❤

Gifs not mine, credit to the creator!

“Oh, bad luck. You landed on Boardwalk,” Sam smirked, a giggle beginning to bubble in his chest as the rage that was settling on Y/N’s face across the table. She glared at the double dice, a freaking snake eye, that had been against her the entire game. “And if my math is correct, with my three houses you owe me $1400. And from the looks of your very sad pile, you’ll have to sell everything on top of declaring bankruptcy.”

“I hate this game!” Y/N screamed, throwing down the $300 hundred she had left.

“Hey, don’t hate the game!” Natasha shot back, grinning behind her beer bottle. Y/N shot her glare.

“Oh, shut up! You and Clint have been cheating the entire time and you know it!” she growled. Clint gasped but was cut off by a sharp jab in the ribs by Bucky. He grumbled and pulled out the chance cards he had stashed away, and nudge Natasha to pull out the money she had hidden away. “See! This game sucks!”

“Now, now. No need to go all green on us.” Tony grinned. Bruce made a noise before letting out a puff of air. Irritated with both the game and how smug everyone was acting, Y/N exploded with a primal battle cry.

“Fuck this game! You people are all cheaters!”

Everyone had enough time to grab their drinks off before Y/N flipped the table, the pieces flying everywhere. Bucky and Wanda both doubled over in their seats, howling when Y/N began to scream at Tony, who jumped up and was yelling back at the same volume. Clint and Natasha were grinning like idiots as the mayhem grew. Bruce rolled his eyes when Sam jumped in, normally the tone the room shifted would set him on edge, but this wasn’t unusual. The only person that wasn’t reacting, save for Vision who had no idea why tensions were so high over a silly game, was Steve.

He had decided to sit this game night out. After the Mario Party debacle, he wasn’t ready to jump back in the ring. Thor spun a wheel and tossed a dart to cut someone’s stars in half. He landed on Y/N’s. While she was once in the lead, that cut her stars in half and she was suddenly in last place. That was fine. It was when she was hit by Bowser, who Tony was playing as when they managed to let him loose of his little prison that she flipped her lid. The team got a kick out of her raging at the games, and all banded together to see how quickly she could snap. Steve, however, didn’t see the charm in it.

To put it lightly, Y/N was a lot to handle. She was everywhere all at once to begin with, her voice carrying through walls. There wasn’t a single mean bone in her body, aside from her intense competitive streak. She seemed to win over anybody. Steve still wasn’t sure. He’d admit, she was sweet and everyone else seemed to love her. Steve thought she was cute too, sometimes she would fall asleep on the couch and he’d find himself taking advantage of her stillness to stare. But she never stopped to breathe once it seemed. He couldn’t recall a time where she wasn’t talking loudly about something or practically bouncing off the walls from excitement. She was a lot more than he was used to. Y/N made his head spin. It wasn’t terrible, but it was a bit exhausting after a while around her. It also didn’t help that sometimes her power manifested with her growing emotions. Which is what was happening right now.

“You’re the one who wanted us to play this stupid game!” Tony accused, rolling his eyes.

“Did not! I specifically said that I thought it was a stupid idea because I always end up flipping a table! You’re the one who then said we had to play it since learning that bit of information.” She countered pointing a finger at him. Tony stopped, a sly grin spreading across his face.

“Oh yeah.”

“Ugh!” She grumbled. “You people are so frustrating! Why do you do this to me?!”

“Because it’s fun.” Tony grinned, his eyes flashing with glee. That was the wrong thing to say. Now Y/N really was angry. She grits her teeth and balled her fists at her side. If this was a cartoon, she’d have steam coming out of her ears she was so angry. Unbeknownst to her, her powers started to manifest with her mounting fury, afflicting the others in the room.

Y/N’s power was special and even a bit strange considering how specific it was. Since she could remember, Y/N always had the gift to control the aura around her to suppressed others authority and leadership skills. It was a power that had come handy in her life, but also hindered her more than it helped. She had a rather strong grip on it at all times, but sometimes that control slipped. Tony’s face paled, and everyone else around her started to shift uncomfortably.

“Uh-Y/N.” Wanda reached out, her fingers gently brushing against the back of Y/N’s arm. Wanda flinched, the contact enough to send her the full force of Y/N’s strange power, but she fought to stay strong. Y/N blinked, quickly realizing the shift in the room was because of her. Her shoulder’s dropped and the suffocating aura surrounding her disappeared. The room sighed collectively in relief.

“See. This is why you shouldn’t poke the bear.” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms against her chest. Tony chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s nice to know you’re aware.” Sam let out a laugh as well, grinning widely at her. She grumbled under her breath and turned to sit back in her seat. As she did, she scanned the room and noticed a spot empty. Standing straighter she glanced around the room.

“Hey, where did Steve go?”

The group collectively turned around, just now noticing the empty seat their Captain once took up as well. Bucky frowned and shot a look to Natasha, who seemed on the same page. Slowly, he turned to back to Y/N.

“Uh... Maybe he decided to turn in early.” He tried. The team seemed to take it, albeit skeptically. He had been doing this a lot lately, getting up at disappearing without a word. No one wanted to say it aloud, but they all noticed it happened around the time Y/N came to the team four months ago.

Y/N stilled, her eyes hardening for a split second before they seemed to glaze over. Shaking her head, she heaved a sigh.

“I’m gonna turn in early too. Sorry, this little outburst just took a lot out of me.” She said, stepping over the discarded pieces and was out of the room before anyone could argue. The room had shifted into a subdued atmosphere, everyone thinking the same thing.

“Someone needs to talk to him.” Wanda murmured. Bucky nodded, letting out a sigh.

“I’ll talk to him.” He said. The rest all murmured in agreement, slowly trickling out the room since game night clearly was done for the evening. They could only hope tomorrow would end on a better note.

~~~~~~~

Y/N sat on her bed, clinging to her favorite stuffed animal wondering just where she went wrong. Since she joined the team a few short months ago, she had been trying her best to get close to the rest of her teammates. Naturally, she was a bubbly person. But her gift made it harder for her to get close to anyone. Her parents thought it was odd, the power came from nowhere when she hit the age of three. It took them time to figure out that it wasn’t because she was incredibly intimidating and that she was unintentionally suppressing their confidence level.

They spent years taking her to doctors and specialists that might be able to help her control her powers. It wasn’t without consequences. Because she struggled for so long to control her powers, she spent a lot of her life unintentionally hurting those around her.

Her classmates didn’t know what exactly, but they knew something was wrong with her. She spent the majority of her school years alone in the corner, shunned from taking part of anything in her classes. If anyone tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, something always went wrong. They were terrified of her. The fear turned to indifference and eventually, they paid her no mind. No one wanted her in their lives. But for Y/N, she wanted nothing more than to be accepted and included.

Which might explain why she was the way she was today. It took years to master her control, but she did it. And now that she was an Avenger, she was surrounded by people who were like her. Special and unique. Nowhere else could she be herself as she could here. This was her last chance of being free and she never wanted to be forgotten.

It didn’t take her long to win over the others. They were more than aware of what she could do. Not a one batted an eyelash, no one shrank away in fear they’d be subjected to the smothering fear she could plague them with. If anything, it fascinated them. She was the one who they’d send in to interrogate. Whether on location or in a holding cell, it didn’t matter. Her power was a gift to get the tightest of lips to talk. For the first time in her life, Y/N felt as though she had finally found her calling.  

Y/N was proud of how far she had come. It was years of uphill battles and year left in the shadows. But now, she had it all, friends, her family and a job she loved. All except the acceptance of Steve. He was polite, but he always had an air of discomfort around her. Not with anyone else, just her. Y/N hated to admit it, but it hurt.

Since the day she met him, Y/N fell hard. Who couldn’t though? He was charming, cared for his friends and protective of his family. But for some reason, he just didn’t seem like he enjoyed being around her. Perhaps, she thought, it was something she said to him. She couldn’t recall anything that might set his teeth on edge, but she was at a loss.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Y/N set her stuffed animal down on the bed and swung her legs over the side. She knew she shouldn’t dwell too much on it. He could very well be in a bad mood, and it could confidently only be when she’s in the same room. She snorted. Yeah, that was it.

No, she thought, there was something more about it. Thinking back all the times she noticed he’d got running, realization hit her like a freight train. Every time he ran, it was because of something she did. It was her. A broken sob crept it’s way up her throat. She was the reason, that was the only thing it could be. Steve Rogers, the man who unknowingly held her heart in his hands, was uncomfortable with her. She clenched the sheets of the bed and held back her tears.

Y/N had to change. Her behavior had always been a problem, she knew that. She was so terrified of being left alone and forgotten again, she let her eagerness go too far. Falling back on the bed, she stared at the ceiling and came to a life-altering decision.

~~~~~

“Hey! There you are!” Natasha grinned motioning Y/N over to her mat. “I was wondering if you’d ever show up or if I’d have to go up to pull you out of bed.”

Y/N didn’t respond with her usual quip, just sent her a tight-lipped smile and a soft apology. Natasha blinked her lack of typical response slightly off-putting. Where was her boisterous hello and never-ending pouts of energy? It was one of the fun things about working out with Y/N first thing in the morning. This wasn’t usual of her at all.

“Okay.” Natasha drawled, looking over Y/N to try and decipher her new attitude. “Well, let’s get started on stretching you at, then we’ll get on the mat to spar.”

Y/N wordlessly nodded, moving over to where the yoga mats were laid out waiting for her. Natasha took up the spot next to her, keeping her eyes especially close on Y/N. Aside from her uncharacteristically quiet demeanor, it didn’t seem like there was a hair out of place on her. Although, her movement seemed a bit on the robotic side. Y/N was just going through the motions, getting done with her stretches before wordlessly making her way over to the mats without a glance to Natasha.

Natasha sat up and watched Y/N leave without a word, flabbergasted. Things seemed fine last night, aside from Steve’s abrupt disappearance. As far as Natasha knew, Y/N had gone straight to her room to sleep. And everyone was either here in the gym or Tony and Bruce in the lap. So, what happened to Y/N?

“Hey, you okay?” Natasha asked, catching Y/N’s elbow.

“What do you mean?” Y/N tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed.

“I don’t know,” Natasha said slowly, her gaze narrowing the longer she stared at Y/N. “You just seem… off today.”

“Oh.” She uttered simply. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Pulling her arm away from Natasha, Y/N wandered over to where Sam was now standing with Bucky. Their smile grew at the sight of her, both unaware of Y/N’s new behavior.

“Good morning sunshine!” Sam beamed at her, wrapping her up in a hug. Y/N let out a faint giggle as she hugged him back. Bucky grinned and tilted his head in greeting.

“Morning doll. You sleep okay last night? I didn’t hear your snores through the paper-thin walls last night.”  He teased, nudging her with his shoulder. Y/N huffed but surprisingly bit her tongue.

“Morning Bucky. Yeah, I slept fine.” Y/N shrugged, her face showing little to no emotions. “We ready to get started.”

Both men were stunned, completely thrown off by her sudden change. They shot Natasha a startled look, who could only shrug. She hadn’t the faintest idea either what happened. Y/N wasn’t supplying them with anything either, so all they could do was continue as if nothing was wrong. It didn’t mean they weren’t going to question her later of course.

Getting done with their training was odd, uncomfortable even. Y/N didn’t speak unless spoken to, and even then they were short simple answers. There was none of her usual spunkiness that fought back with each quip Sam sent her way. He even tried to rile her up, he almost pulled out all the stops in a hope to gain a reaction from her. But she didn’t move an inch. Bucky tried to get her to react when he threw a punch harder than necessary her way. They thought they had her, there was a spark of fury in her eyes after she picked herself up, but she quickly wiped the expression on her face.

In the end, Y/N went through the motions, doing what needed to be done without her usual flare. At one point, Wanda had even commented on how unusually quiet she had been. When Y/N left to head to the locker room, she cornered Bucky and Sam.

“What did you two do?” she hissed, jabbing a finger in Sam’s chest. He made a noise in the back of his throat offended at the accusation.

“What the hell makes you think we did anything?” Bucky crossed his arms across his chest. Wanda turned her narrow gaze to Bucky.

“Well. Something happened to her. And I know Natasha wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“Oh and we would?” Sam snapped, shaking his head. “We didn’t do anything to her Wanda, she was like this when she came in.”

“He’s right.” Natasha interrupted, siding with the two men. “She’s been like this all morning. I have no clue why.”

The door the locker room opened, Y/N walking freshly out of the shower and a new change of clothes. She stopped short when she saw all four eyes locked on her across the room. Awkwardly, she waved to them before heading to the exit. Right as she reached it, Steve swung open the door, towel in hand. His steps faltered and a tight-lipped smile passed on her face.

The group couldn’t see her face from where they stood. All they could see was her nod her head once before stepping around Steve with a wide berth to head out the exit. Steve was left stunned. It wasn’t normal to not have his ear talked off when it came to Y/N. Blinking rapidly, he wandered over to Bucky, brows furrowed in confusion.

“What she say?” Wanda asked. Steve’s mouth fell open to answer but couldn’t find the right words.

“Uh… Nothing.” He shrugged.

“And you don’t find that strange?” Wanda asked the group, pinning each of them with her stare. Bucky bristled at the insinuation, his hands balling into fists.

“We never said it wasn’t. We just have no idea what’s wrong with her.” He snapped, stepping up with his back straighter and shoulders set. Wanda glared right back, red seeping into her eyes. Natasha wiggled her way between them, grumbling under her breath.

“Alright. Alright, enough.” She held her hands out to both, pushing them back. “Wanda, we have no clue what happened. Y/N walked in like this. It’s probably nothing and she’s just having an off day. Why don’t we just let whatever happened run its course and see how she is through the rest of the day. No point on biting each other’s heads off when we all did nothing wrong.”

The group grumbled their agreement, still not at ease with how the morning had turned. Steve was just as concerned as the rest. It was odd that she didn’t greet him with her megawatt smile when he walked in the gym, and it was odd how her face seemed to tighten at the sight of him. All he got this morning was a tight-lipped smiled before she ran out the door. What was even odder was the fact that she seemed to give him as much space as possible. As if she didn’t want to get too close.

Steve turned to the door, his brows creased and mouth in a tight line. Something was going on with Y/N, but who was he to worry about her?

~~~~~~~~

Things hadn’t gotten much better with Y/N over the next few days. She had stopped taking part in the loud discussions that always managed to start up in the kitchen or the living room. Her words were short and few in between, but she didn’t seem upset. Just much more subdued than usual. When someone would speak to her, so would she. But it was never the same volume as before.

Sam and Clint both made it their mission to get her to snap. They did everything from switching her sugar to salt in her coffee to going into her room and putting baby powder in her hair dryer. Nothing worked. She would just sigh and turn her back to them, shoulders tense. They thought she’d give up and go back to her old ways, but nothing worked. Not even Natasha could get her to admit what was wrong.

Steve, however, was taking her attitude change harder than the rest. Don’t ask him why he didn’t even know. He thought he’d prefer her at a lower decibel, he assumed she would be more manageable and easier to get along with. But this, this wasn’t what he thought it would be like. To him, it almost seemed creepy. This wasn’t the Y/N he had come to know. The wasn’t the same woman in the slightest. It was as if someone else swapped personalities with her.

Y/N hadn’t shown any improvement in her attitude in the field either. Actually, she seemed to be less productive now. One of the ways she managed to get people to confess was using her power and then releasing it. There she’d act like a good cop, bargaining with them for information and if they didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d switch her powers back on again. Now, she just threw herself into it. There was no build up, no false sense of security.

Just last week they needed information about the next hit Hydra ordered. They apprehended one of the agents and sent in Y/N to get out the information when he wouldn’t fess up. The team assumed the old Y/N would come out now that she was in the field. Instead, she walked in and used the full force of her powers on the man. She was already so powerful, but she had a strong grip on her control. When her power flared to life, even with the thick walls it suffocated everyone.

The agent instantly started sobbing, blubbering like a small child before it grew to mindless screaming for mercy. As it turns out, her power can actually break the human spirit and shatter their sanity into a thousand pieces. It only affected the man in front of her, but it still rattled the rest of the group. Steve was furious.

“What the hell was that?!” He snarled, dragging Y/N into a conference room. She blinked, her face unmoving despite the rage rolling off him in waves. Tony, Fury, and Maria both sat around the meeting table, their mouths pulled into thin lines. She tore her gaze away, refusing to look at anyone in particular as Steve raged on. “You ruined any chances of getting information out of him!”

“Actually Cap, she ruined any chance of him being a normal human being again,” Tony interjected, pulling up a hologram of the doctor's report. The mental status report had been sent in a few moments before Steve dragged her in. The poor man couldn’t remember his name let alone the information they needed.

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and let out a heavy breath. When she opened them, their faces hadn’t changed a bit. Settling on a point at the table, the brief glimpse she caught of their expressions was burned in her mind. Steve was livid, Tony seemed borderline irritated with a hint of amusement, while Fury and Maria both had a hard expression that told her she was in for it for the next few weeks.

“Look. I’m sorry. I let a few personal matters get to me and clearly, I didn’t handle it well.” She said calmly. Steve flinched at how lifeless she sounded when she mentioned her personal matter and shot Tony a concerned look. Tony tilted his head in acknowledgment, he too aware of the pain she seemed to be suppressing. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again by accident, but I’ll make sure to put more training in to ensure it doesn’t.”

Fury shifted in his seat, folding his hands on his crossed knee. His single eye narrowed as he looked her over and gave her a curt nod.

“See that it doesn’t agent. Dismissed.” He said curtly. Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut for a spilt-second before she jerked her chin and spun at heel to leave the room. After the door shut behind her, Fury grunted.

“What did you people do to her?” He accused, leveling Steve and Tony with a stare. Both men frowned and glanced at the other.

“We didn’t do anything.” Tony snapped, narrowing his eyes. Steve set his hand on the back of a chair and sighed.

“She’s been like this for almost a week now. This is the first time she’s actually admitted something wrong.” Steve replied, his brows furrowing at the tightness in his chest at the idea. It wasn’t like Y/N to keep everything bottle up inside her like this.

“Well, whatever’s wrong with her, fix it,” Fury ordered. “She needs to be in complete control and that can’t happen when her minds on other things.”

Pushing back the chair he stood, Maria right behind him. Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed the folder off the desk and briskly left the room with Maria following. Steve flinched when the door snapped shut behind them. Tony scoffed.

“You can get rid of that sad puppy dog look, Captain.”

Steve frowned, his head snapping up to Tony.

“What’s with the tone, Tony?” He asked. Tony rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

“We all know you don’t like Y/N, you put up a good front though.” He waved a hand absently. “But when you dart out of a room anytime she comes in, or you won’t sit to talk with her when she comes to find you, it gets pretty noticeable.”

Steve stood taller, his mouth drawing into a tight line. He opened his mouth to argue, but it dawned on him. He hadn’t been the most welcoming person to Y/N in the few months she’s been here. Was that really how everyone perceives him? Tony smirked and shook his head.

“To put it simply; you’ve been an ass to our Y/N, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you did.” Groaning softly under his breath, Tony stood and grabbed his tablet. Steve’s face fell, the notion her change might have been because of him made his stomach turn. Tony clapped a hand on his shoulder, his mouth pulled into a tight line. “Like Fury said, we’re going to fix this. But don’t worry. We won’t waste your precious time.”

At that, Tony left Steve alone in the conference room, the sting of his words lingering behind. Steve’s shoulder slumped. Maybe this had been his fault. But when? How? He really didn’t think it would have been that big of a deal to leave early after the game. Maybe he thought wrong and she did take it wrong. That wouldn’t mean this complete 180 though, would it? It wasn’t the first time he escaped a game night gone wrong, and she didn’t seem upset them. Perhaps it was something else. That had to be it. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, at least he didn’t think he did.

“Hey FRIDAY,” Steve called. Immediately, the AI system responded.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Go back to the last game night, the one with monopoly, did anything happen to Y/N between the time I left, and she went to bed?” He asked. Silence met him as the computer searched the data.

“No, it doesn’t seem like anything happened. She never left her room once she entered either.” FRIDAY replied. Steve frowned, even more, confused than before. So if there wasn’t anything that happened to her then what was with change?

Clenching his jaw, Steve knew he needed to get to the bottom of this. Not just as a Captain to his team, but as a way to make up for being such a shitty housemate. And maybe even as a way to start an actual friendship with him. Now that he’s seen this side of her, he realized how judgment and close-minded he was. He needed to find her and talk with her.

~~~~

Y/N had just stripped out of her suit and into her PJs when there was a hesitant knock on the door. She frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone tonight, especially not after she just got her ass handed to her. Reluctantly she went to open the door and was surprised at the person on the other side.

Steve stood there awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. She blinked and took a step back.

“Uh… hi?” she greeted cautiously.  Steve smiled hesitantly and shifted from foot to foot.

“Hey. Can we talk?”

“W-Why?” She clutched on the handle and shifted behind the door in an attempt to hide behind it. Steve noticed and his smile fell. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I know I’m the last person you want to talk to. I’ve not been the most welcoming and I want to apologize. Can I please come in?” He asked earnestly. Y/N was caught off guard at his sincerity. Nodding numbly, she pulled the door open and let him in her room.

Steve glanced around the room, noticing the number of pictures she had hanging up on her wall, pretty fairy lights cascading down the walls illuminating each photo. Her comforter was a light lilac with stuffed animals on the bed. He eyed the little knickknacks matched the rest of her décor on her desks and shelves adding to the warmth and homey feel her room had. Realization hit him that he really hadn’t taken the time to get the real her.

“Go ahead and have a seat.” Y/N waved to the bed before sitting on the other end. Steve sank into the plush mattress, taking a moment to look over Y/N. She refused to make eye contact, to busy wringing her fingers together to notice him staring. Once again, he was struck by how beautiful she was, and how poorly he handled everything.

“Look Y/N, I don’t know what happened the past few days and why you’re acting different, but somethings changed. We all can see it.” He said. Y/N opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it. Steve continued on. “I don’t know what happened, but it hurts all of us to see you like this. It’s like you’ve lost a huge part of yourself and we’re seeing this empty shell. I mean, Sam and Clint both are losing their minds because what ordinarily would work on getting you riled up is doing nothing. And Bucky’s beside himself, Natasha and Wanda are worried sick, and Tony is pissed because-.” Steve stopped short, his face twisting into a pained expression. “He thinks I’m the reason.”

Y/N tensed, her breath catching in her throat. It was minuscule, but Steve caught it. He sat taller and his stomach sank.

“It is because of me.” He whispered sadly. He tore his eyes away from her to stare blankly at his hands. Y/N closed her eyes but didn’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve not been accepting. I didn’t mean to hurt you though.”

Y/N nodded slowly, biting her lower lip as he kept talking.

“Truth is, you intimidate the hell out of me. I’ve never met someone who was so sure of themselves and so incredibly proud about it. You held nothing back and you’re so willing to put your heart on your sleeve, I kind of envy you a little. People loved you right of the bat and your just so sweet inside and out. I mean, you didn’t let anyone tell you to chill out before. Which leaves me to ask, why now? Why did I affect you so much that you changed everything about you?”

That caused Y/N’s face to heat up. No way was she going to admit it aloud! It was already embarrassing enough Steve knew he was a reason why she changed, but for him to know what the full reason was mortified her.

“Y/N.” He gently took her hand in his, the corners of his lips turned up. “You don’t have to tell me. I just want you to know that no matter what you think, I don’t hate you. I never did. Matter of fact, I really like you. More than I thought. It didn’t hit me how much I’d come to admire and appreciate your take on life until now. I miss hearing you bicker with Tony about the best brew coffee first thing in the morning or when you and Bucky gang up on Sam. I know Natasha and Wanda miss having their best friend. And game nights will never be the same without you threatening and then following through with flipping a table.”

Y/N giggled and ducked her chin. His grin grew, finally seeing a glimmer of her former self.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me for how I’ve behaved. I can only ask you’ll give me a chance to make up for being such a shitty person.” He grinned.

“Language, Captain.” Y/N teased.

“Is that ever going to die?” Steve groaned and rolled his eyes. “Wait you weren’t even there!”

“I know but hate to break it to you, it’s here for the long haul.” Y/N giggled and shook her head. Steve’s laughter joined hers, his smile stretching from ear to ear. He titled his head to the side after a beat before letting out a sigh.

“So, are you going to be okay?” He asked hopefully. Y/N let out a deep breath, for the first time all week feeling lighter. She was so drained from keeping her emotions in check, it took every ounce of her strength not to react to the attempts at making her snap. She knew it was ridiculous trying to change, but she really thought it was for the better. Turns out, it not only damaged her but everyone she loved.

“Yeah. I think I’ll be okay.” She spoke confidently. Steve patted her thigh and quickly stood.

“Good, because Tony discovered some new game called The Jackbox Party Pack or something along those lines.” He extended a hand and waited for her to take it.

“Wait, right now?” She asked surprised. He nodded and took her hand.

“Yup. Come on. Team bonding time.”

Y/N laughed, letting him pull her up and drag her out of the room. He looked at her over his shoulder, his breath catching in her throat at the way her face lit up from her grin. Turning back quickly, he hoped she didn’t notice the way his ears turned pink. He was an idiot for not taking the time to get to know her. He wasn’t going to ruin his chance with her a second time. Maybe it wasn’t going to easy, but for Y/N he knew it would be worth it.

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[thetravelerwrites]

Commitments: Part 2 (Gargoyles Fanfic)

Rating: Teen Fandom: Disney’s Gargoyles Relationships: Goliath x Elisa Maza Additional Tags: Marriage, Wedding Day Trigger Warnings: Light Language, Sex Mention Words: 3443

It's the day of the ceremony. Elisa has a heart to heart with her mother and father. Please leave feedback!

October 24th, 1999: Goliath and Elisa had chosen this date for the ceremony because it was five years to the night of their first meeting, when he had plucked her from the sky after, admittedly, scaring her off a parapet.

Unfortunately, their union could only be symbolic and not legal. It would also have to be a secret from everyone except for their family and closest friends, but they figured, what else is new? Elisa had long been a target of hate groups for merely having alleged, unconfirmed connections to the Gargoyles, and coming out publicly as one of their staunchest supporters hadn’t done her any favors, but openly marrying a Gargoyle would not only have been extremely controversial, it could have cost her her job, home, safety, and possibly even her freedom.

After talking with Amy, Goliath’s public defender who now acted as the Gargoyles’ legal representation in all civil matters, he had learned that there was a law prohibiting humans from marrying any being that was not also human, regardless of level of sentience or intelligence. Which meant that Elisa’s relationship with Goliath was technically bestiality and as such, illegal. Attempting to obtain a marriage license could have landed them both in jail.

There had been no such law as of 1997, Amy had told him, and she surmised the law had been pushed through in secret around the same time the Gargoyle Civil Rights Movement was being fought in court.

Eighteen months after Gargoyles had become public knowledge, the Gargoyles of the Manhattan Clan and many of their allies had testified in front of a grand jury for the Gargoyles’ very right to exist without persecution. After a lengthy battle and many sacrifices and concessions, they had won.

Following the trial, a bill had been passed granting the Manhattan Clan American citizenship, basic civil rights, and put them on the endangered species list, which automatically protected them against unlawful imprisonment, exploitation, experimentation, assault, and murder.

Before the GCRM, ending a Gargoyle’s life had no legal ramifications whatsoever, but after the bill was passed, the act of killing a Gargoyle while they were awake had been classified as murder. Any person responsible for the killing of a Gargoyle could face up to 25 years in prison.

Destroying a stone Gargoyle was seen as a “common law murder” and carried with it a much lesser sentence, but the prosecution would have to prove that the stone statue the defendant destroyed was a living gargoyle. Otherwise it was simply malicious property damage, though it could possibly be tried as a hate crime.

The bill also protected any human that associated with the Gargoyles from retaliation or discrimination, which finally allowed Elisa the chance to proudly support her friends for the entire world to see. It felt great to stand with them as an advocate after hiding them and keeping her friendship with them a secret for so long.

Despite this historic victory for their kind, there was still much prejudice and hatred toward Gargoyles and the people who stood up for them. Their bold willingness to take on public opinion had afforded them some liberties, but in the eyes of the world, Gargoyles were still practically animals, and the bill had done nothing to change that.

 There were new laws in place to protect Gargoyles against threats and violence, but seemingly nothing to defend them from discrimination. In fact, several xenophobic laws that had not previously existed prior to the GCRM seemed to have quietly popped up out of nowhere.

There was a law that protected the right of any public, private, or federally owned business to refuse service to Gargoyles, including hospitals and clinics. Gargoyles also could not secure a job, license, or any property that exceeded $2000 unless they could procure a valid social security number, while at the same time there was a law prohibiting Gargoyles from legally obtaining a social security number. Gargoyles were also barred from attending any state funded schools, including trade programs, and could not earn any certificate, diploma, or degree. Amy was working to change the laws, but progress was slow and she was meeting opposition from all sides.

It baffled Goliath and infuriated Elisa, who was now forced to uphold these ridiculous laws. She hated it. It was unconstitutional and disgusting and she loathed every second that she had to be a part of it. It very nearly caused her to quit the justice system altogether, because this wasn’t justice, it wasn’t freedom, it wasn’t the same system that had convinced her to join the police force in the first place.

This was a perversion of civil liberties, bigots hiding behind a mask of equality, using the publicity of the Movement as a distraction to quietly impose their will on her friends without anyone realizing it. It made her sick to her stomach, mostly because there was nothing she could do to fix it.

The only thing stopping her from planting her boot firmly inside someone’s rear end the next time she heard the term “flying rats” was Goliath’s steady patience and temperance. He constantly reminded her that no one couldn’t stop them from affirming their love for each other, regardless of these new laws. He didn’t care who found out or how many jail cells he’d have to sleep in, he was committed to becoming her mate and nothing would stand in his way.

He loved her; nothing else mattered. He told her this every night, and every night she needed to hear it just to maintain her daily composure. But she was still angry.

The day of the ceremony arrived cool and comfortable. Elisa awoke at noon in her parent’s apartment, where Beth, Maggie, and Derek had also been staying, not just for moral support but protection in case word got out.

Since there were six hours until sundown, the process of getting ready was leisurely and relaxed. Elisa had decided to forgo several things considered normal for a wedding. There would be no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl or ring bearer, no best man or maid of honor. How would they choose one, anyway?

The ceremony itself would be short and simple with no frills or embellishments, other than Goliath and Elisa reciting vows that they had written for each other.

One thing would be done according to tradition, her father insisted, was walking her down the aisle himself. The ceremony would be taking place in the main hall of Castle Wyvern. Goliath would be standing at the fireplace with Diane with all their friends and loved ones gathered around them, and Peter would hand her off to Goliath. But, she said pointedly, he would not be giving her away as if she were property. Peter had held up his hands in acquiescence, laughing.

She wouldn’t be wearing a wedding dress; she instead wore a simple gown made of sapphire blue satin, to match the ring, with a low back and a short train. Attached to the straps was a small glass lily suspended on a silver chain that would dangle halfway down her spine. It was sleek and elegant with just a hint of slink. Beth had bought it for her in New Orleans during her post-semester vacation a few months ago, before Goliath had even asked Elisa to wed him. She and Beth often didn’t see eye to eye on fashion, but she had to admit this dress seemed like it was made for her.

She wouldn’t wear a veil or carry a bouquet, either. She did put her hair up, though, held back with a kanzashi in the shape of a blooming peony that Katana had given her as a wedding gift.

An hour before sundown, Elisa and her party loaded into two taxis and headed toward the Eyrie building. Maggie and Derek took to the rooftops and likely would arrive at the castle before them.

As they approached the building, Elisa had to admit she was feeling nervous. She tapped her foot anxiously and wrung her shaking hands.

“Wedding jitters?” Diane asked, sitting beside her.

“Yeah, I guess,” Elisa replied shakily.

Diane laid a calm, warm hand on her daughter’s cold, clasped ones. “Second thoughts?”

“No,” Elisa said firmly. “None whatsoever. I love Goliath. Marriage is unnatural for Gargoyles; he’s only doing this for me. And I want this, Mom. I really want this.” She shook her head and exhaled a trembling breath. “I don’t even know why I’m so nervous.”

Diane laughed gently. “It’s completely natural to be a little nervous, sweetheart. I needed several bellinis and a shot of tequila to marry your father, and even then, I thought I might ruin his shiny new shoes. Of course, that could have been the tequila.”

Elisa breathed a soft laugh. She looked at her mother shrewdly. “You’re really okay with this, aren’t you? Me and Goliath, I mean?”

“Of course I am, baby,” Diane said. “I want you to be happy. If Goliath makes you happy, then that’s what I want for you.”

“Dad wasn’t so sure.”

“Yes, but that’s just how fathers are, Elisa,” Diane tutted. “Remember your first boyfriend, Lucas?”

At that, Elisa laughed out loud. “Junior prom, first date, Dad sitting at the dinner table, cleaning his guns. How could I forget?”

“He did that with every boy you brought home,” Diane chuckled. “He also really liked giving those boys a rundown of all his arrests and showing them awful case files, just to shake them up.”

“Ricky ran from the house before I had time to get dressed for our date, remember? He was too scared to even look at me in class for weeks.” Elisa laughed.

Diane nodded, and they found themselves in a fit of giggles, holding each other. After a moment, they tittered to a stop.

“Goliath isn’t intimidated by Dad’s gun collection,” Elisa said.

“No, that he is not,” Diane agreed. “To be honest, honey, those boys you dated before were no match for you. You need a man who is just as strong as you are, even if he isn’t exactly a man. You’re good together. You’re a lifeline for each other. That’s something you don’t just give up on because it’s hard; the trials are what make it all worthwhile. And the two of you have had your fair share of trials. You have earned each other. Nothing else is important.”

Elisa smiled gratefully at her mother and hugged her around the shoulders.

“Thank you, Mama,” She said.

“Always, baby girl,” Her mother replied, returning her hug.

The taxis pulled into the private carport reserved for the Xanatos family. Xanatos had given Elisa and her family a code to use so they could avoid getting out in the company parking complex or in the street outside.

Peter and Beth had exited first, and Peter opened Elisa’s door and offered Elisa his hand, who smiled up at him and accepted it. She walked arm-in-arm with her father to the elevator, with Beth and her mother trailing behind, holding hands.

The sun was going down as the elevator opened to the top floor. The Maza family walked out into the open courtyard to reach the private room just off the main hall, and could see the Gargoyles on their perches in the red-gold light of sunset.

Unlike the other Gargoyles, who faced outward in their typical vigilant poses, Goliath stood inward, straight as a rail, head bowed, with his wings folded around him. According to him, this was traditional gesture for when a Gargoyle declared their intentions for another. It was also traditional to stand in the perch of one’s intended mate, but Elisa didn’t perch, so that aspect was overlooked.

Waiting for them in the private room was Derek and Maggie, who had arrived first as Elisa predicted. Owen had rather thoughtfully put out a small refreshments table for the bridal party. Xanatos had offered to throw them a big wedding with a reception and everything, which Elisa had refused in no uncertain terms. This smaller touch was much more fitting.

Also in the room were the stone figures of Angela and Broadway, crouched defensively around their egg. They were understandably protective of it and had taken to sleeping in this room during the day, as it was far more secure than standing out in the open over a one hundred and thirty story drop. Since the castle no longer had a rookery, and even if it did, keeping a single egg in there would be superfluous, the anxious parents-to-be took to guarding their precious cargo closely. When they were awake, the bundle never left Angela’s arms. Even during missions, Broadway and Angela took turns staying with the egg, keeping it within view at all times.

Elisa understood. It took a very long time for Gargoyle children to be born: six months gestation in the body of the female and then a full ten years as an egg. Elisa thought nine months was a long time to wait for a baby. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of apprehension and patience it took to wait for over a decade to meet your own child.

But, she reflected, if that’s what it took even for humans, she would do it. She would do anything to have a child. Before she met Goliath, it wasn’t something she had given much thought. Back then, she was much more focused on her career and wasn’t sure if she even wanted kids. If and when she decided she did, she figured she had plenty of time. Now that she knew it wasn’t a possibility with Goliath, it was all she could think about.

Elisa had talked to Beth and Maggie about it the night before. Maggie lamented that she wasn’t sure her augmented body was capable of bearing children or what effects her’s and Derek’s altered DNA would have on them. Beth and her girlfriend Serena, both only 21, had no interest in children. They both sympathized with her, but what could be done?

In Goliath, Elisa had found her true equal and soul mate. She was overjoyed to be with him and wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship, other than more social acceptance. Her mother was right, they had earned each other and they deserved to be happy. A child wouldn’t necessarily make it that much better, but still. Still. It would always be in the back of her mind, the one thing just out of reach.

Just as they settled in, cracks began to form in Angela’s and Broadway’s stone exterior. Instead of the normal explosive way they shed their skin, they carefully shifted this way and that to slither out of their cocoon, diligent even in sleep about protecting their offspring.

“Elisa!” Angela exclaimed upon seeing her, rising to her feet. “You look lovely!”

“Thanks, Angela,” Elisa said, embracing her.

“Are you nervous?” Angela asked as Broadway came up behind her, holding the egg.

“A bit,” Elisa said.

“I’ve never seen a human wedding before,” Broadway said. “Other than on T.V.”

“Neither have I,” Angela said.

“Well, this won’t be your average wedding, Big Guy,” Elisa said. “I dumped a bunch of the traditional stuff I didn’t think was necessary. This’ll be pretty bare bones compared to most other ceremonies.”

The door opened. Lexington, Brooklyn, and Katana entered the room with Matsuko, who had her tail wrapped around her father’s hand.

It was an odd contrast to see Brooklyn next to Lexington now, who had at one point been his and Broadway’s equal in age. Brooklyn no longer crouched when at rest anymore; that was apparently a trait among young Gargoyles or ones on the smallish side, like Lexington. Brooklyn had aged over forty years in the time stream, though it was more like twenty in equivalent human years, and his countenance reflected it. He stood much taller than before and straight as a post next to his mate, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Elisa felt a little like Lexington had gotten the short end of the stick. Compared to Broadway and Brooklyn, who were both mated and fathering children, Lexington seemed a little left out. He was always his usual cheerful self, though, and never seemed bitter about how things were.

“This is so exciting!” He said brightly. “Aren’t you excited?”

“That’s one word for it,” Elisa said wryly.

Katana grinned to see her gift in Elisa’s hair. “It suits you,” she said. Brooklyn smiled fondly at her.

“I love it, thank you again,” Elisa said.

“Goliath is in the Main Hall,” Brooklyn said, his voice deeper than it used to be. “He and the others are setting up and getting ready.”

“We’d better join them,” Derek said, nodding to the others in the room. All except Elisa and her father moved toward the door.

“Hey, guys, before you go,” Elisa said, addressing her Gargoyle companions and her family. “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to have you all in my life. You guys have been the best friends I’ve ever had, and I don’t know how to thank you for it. I know that this is all a little alien to you, and I’m honored that you’re all a part of it. I don’t know who I would be without you and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate each of you. I love you guys.”

“Aw, Elisa,” Lexington said shyly. “We love you, too.”

“I look forward to becoming part of your family,” Angela said. “My father loves you. His joy is my joy.”

“We’d better get going,” Diane said. “I need to get into position and prepare Goliath for the ceremony.”

Elisa nodded. They hadn’t done a rehearsal. This was all being done with no prep-work, largely because the ceremony itself was going to be short and to the point, so they hadn’t felt the need for it. Elisa was rethinking this now, perhaps a bit too late.

The others left to get into their places, leaving her alone with Peter. He held out his hands for hers, and she took them, facing her father and willing herself not to cry.

Peter shook his head, smiling gently at her. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Elisa asked.

“My baby girl. My firstborn. Getting married.”

Elisa laughed. “Technically. Not legally.” She looked up at him, wincing. “Does that bother you?”

Peter shrugged. “Laws change. In ten years time, who knows? Maybe you’ll renew your vows with a real license in hand.”

“One can dream,” Elisa said wistfully. She looked up into her father’s eyes. “I’m glad you and Mom are being so cool about all of this. I can’t imagine what you thought when Goliath first spoke to you about it.”

“Well, to be honest, we’d have supported it regardless. Nothing Goliath could have said would have actually mattered,” Peter replied.

Elisa frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I trust my children,” Peter said. “If he had asked you and you said yes, there must have been a damn good reason for it. Even if I don’t fully understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad decision. You’ve always been a good kid, Elisa. You were the one out of all your siblings I never had to worry about. You always had a good head on your shoulders. Hell, you never even had a rebellious phase, and you could have been a real monster if you wanted to be.”

Elisa flinched at the use of the word monster.

“Sorry,” Peter said. “Not what I meant. I should have said disaster.”

She playfully nudged him, laughing a little.

“You’re smart, Elisa,” Peter continued. “Smarter than your old man ever was. If you say this is what’s right for you, how am I supposed to argue?” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m here for you, kid, no matter what.”

She squeezed him tight. “I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Yes, you do,” Peter said. “You deserve the world. What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t give my little girl the world?”

A knock came at the door and Brooklyn peeked his head in. Peter and Elisa parted.

“Everyone’s ready,” He said. Elisa nodded with a shaky smile of thanks, and he withdrew.

“This is it,” Peter said. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Elisa closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, holding it for a five count. She exhaled slowly, opened her eyes, and said, “Lets go.”

He extended his elbow and she hooked her arm through it. Straightening her spine, she let her father lead her out of the room.

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Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Ok two months to go lets hear it: Who lives and who dies?

My death list is actually kind of short, but (probably) controversial:

The Mountain

Beric Dondarrion

Melisandre

Varys

Viserion

Cersei Lannister

Jaime Lannister

Jorah Mormont

Euron Greyjoy

Theon Greyjoy

The Night King

Sansa Stark

Jon Snow*

(*but he will be resurrected)

You’ll notice one very big name - perhaps the biggest - happens to be absent from my list. I’m not so sure I believe the leaks. *shrug*

My explanations and reasoning under the cut.

The Mountain

Of course, The Mountain is already dead, so this feels little redundant. I don’t think Cleganebowl is happening. The Mountain isn’t the same person Sandor had beef with, and Sandor isn’t the same person he once was. *shrug* I’m personally rooting for the Arya-takes-down-the-Mountain theory.

Varys

There’s a good chance that Melisandre is wrong about Varys’ death (like she’s wrong about well, almost everything):

“I have to die in this strange country, just like you.”

But we pair that with the line from Daenerys:

“If you ever betray me, I’ll burn you alive” 

…and it seems to seal his fate (I don’t buy for a second he’s got allegiance to anyone but himself). Of course, there’s a chance it could be a line foreshadowing someone else’s death that’s been ‘leaked’. We’ll see!

Viserion

I could argue that Viserion is already dead… but since “(The Night King)’s done the same thing to Viserion that he did with Craster’s sons,” I assume he’s a dragon version of an other. That’s probably not too important, anyway.

I think Viserion will be taken down by Drogon, mirroring Viserys and Drogo *shrug* I love my parallels, don’t I?

Cersei Lannister

When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. Eh, eh?

For as much as everyone cries “cliche!” about Jaime being the valonqar, imagine if all that foreshadowing was traded in for some shock value, and someone like Sansa does it. *shudders* Nah, man. I want Jaime to mirror himself - the Kingslayer/Queenslayer who took down both mad monarchs threatening to ignite King’s Landing in green flames - finally getting recognized for his act of heroism. That’s much more satisfying than a quick shock that has no buildup. But I suppose, there is a pretty good chance the valonqar is Euron.

(Though I do admit - I would actually love for Cersei Lannister to make it out of this alive, somehow)

Jaime Lannister

“I cannot die while Cersei lives. We will die together as we were born together.”

Both twins have weird lines like this. So, it’s fair to assume if one dies, they both die. And if one lives, they both live. So if Cersei is brought down, Jaime will be, too. How do I see it happening? Perhaps by one last (poisonous) kiss - wherein Brienne comes in to cradle him as the life drains from his body? I dunno. But after all, he wants to die in the arms of the woman he loves, and for better or worse - that’s Brienne.

Jorah Mormont

It’s been long speculated that in season 8, we’ll be seeing a ‘beloved’ character turn into a wight - and I think the best candidate is Jorah Mormont (keep in mind we’re talking show Jorah, who is leagues better than book Jorah).

Admittedly, I do notoriously give D&D more credit than like, anyone else around here. That said - I’m not sure the polar bear thing was entirely for “coolness” factor, like they claim. The moment I heard this line, followed by Jorah looming eerily over Beric…

I thought for sure we’d see this paid off in the very same episode. To me, it just seems wildly out of place and a waste of dialogue. I hope it’s some clever foreshadowing that we’re going to see a dead 'Bear’ of Bear Isle biting someone next season.

Of course, there is always a chance that the greyscale might play some sort of role in preventing Jorah from turning… I guess we’ll see!

Lastly, I’ve always been intrigued by Jon holding a Mormont shield during the BotB - I have a tendency to read too much into everything, I admit - but wouldn’t it be great if Jorah died saving Jon’s hide?

Euron Greyjoy & Theon Greyjoy

For as formidable as book Euron may be - I don’t see him living. This series just isn’t about evil prevailing. What I think he will do, however, is attack Jon and/or Daenerys at sea, perhaps as they try to flee the north. I’m one of those annoying people who thinks very few lines of dialogue are wasted in-show, and this one is a fucking thorn in my side:

I think Theon will succeed in taking down Euron (I think this scene is a great foreshadowing that he’s going to save house Greyjoy by saving Yara), but it will likely be at the cost of his own life. I suspect he’ll not only save Yara - but perhaps some members of his other house, too. After all, he’s a Greyjoy and he’s a Stark.

The Night King

Oh, this one is fun, isn’t it? I’m probably the only person who doesn’t want the Night King to die - but I’m pretty sure he will and that I know how it’ll happen. First, we’ll finally get to see Vladimír Furdík’s stuntwork paid off in the final season, which almost ensures there will be an epic showdown between Jon and the Night King.

But you shouldn’t want Jon to defeat him! (Or Daenerys, for that matter!) Why?

“The gods hate kinslayers, even when they kill unknowing.”

This quote is specifically told to Jon by Ygritte when she recounts the tale of Bael the Bard. Interestingly, Bael the Bard heavily mirrors Rhaegar x Lyanna. And what also happens to mirror Lyanna, is how Sam and Jon become friends. Jon comes to his rescue as he’s getting his ass whooped by his fellow black brothers - just like his momma coming to Howland Reed’s aid. Both Jon and Lyanna go out of their way to further humiliate the tormenters, too.

I predict the Night King will disarm Jon Snow and in this crucial moment, and that’s when Sam the Slayer will thrust Heartsbane through his back (perhaps melted down into more wieldable daggers by Gendry?), Howland Reed-style, saving Jon’s life and frankly, blowing everyone’s minds.

Because after all…

“Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before.”

Buuuut it’s going to be about as satisfying as Arthur Dayne’s demise - as we’re going to learn of the Night King’s history, and perhaps that his death marked not only the death of the wights and white walkers - but all of Craster’s sons, perhaps wiping out a whole misunderstood race.

‘A villain is the hero of the other side’, after all - and if you’re familiar with my theory that the Night King is the one using his greenseeing powers to manipulate the visions in the flames that the followers of R'hllor see… then this line by Beric might foreshadow his death:

And that our heroes, the 'enemy’, will win.

Sansa Stark

Before anyone comes for me, there’s a fair amount of eerie foreshadowing - at least in the books. If the season 7 script leaks are to be believed, Sansa might still be the 'lone wolf’ she warned against last season, distancing herself from her family out of jealousy or paranoia.

The way I see it going down, though, (if it does at all) the Stark girls will mirror their direwolves - and Sansa just might die in her sister’s place, saving her life.

Jon Snow

First, let’s look at the conversation between Jon and Melisandre prior to the Battle of the Bastards:

“Any advice?”

“Don’t lose.”

“If I do, if I fall don’t bring me back.”

“I’ll have to try.”

“I’m ordering you not to bring me back.”

“I am not your servant, Jon Snow.”

“You’re in my camp. I’m the commander.”

“I serve the Lord of Light. I do what he commands.”

“How do you know what he commands?”

“I interpret his signs as well as I can.”

“If the Lord didn’t want me to bring you back, how did I bring you back? I have no power. Only what he gives me and he gave me you. Why? I don’t know. Maybe you’re only needed for this small part of his plan and nothing else. Maybe he brought you here to die again.”

Other than that, we’ve got some fucked up lines from Sansa:

(Thanks, Sansa. Great job.)

As well as Beric:

Alternatively, there is some amazing book foreshadowing that Jon will live.

Why include in the story Beric has come back from the dead multiple times, at all? Why tell us that each time he comes back, he’s a bit less of himself? He’s not a major character. Is it all just for 'flavor’ - or are we being groomed to see it happen again to someone we love?

And how bittersweet would that be - seeing Jon come back a second time, but not quite the man he used to be - the one we all grew to love.

I love the theory that Jon Snow is Dany’s mount, treason, and fire for love - and that she’s the one who commits treason against him, by possibly demanding he be brought back 'against his will’ (though, considering he’s a father-to-be and potential newlywed, I don’t think he’ll gripe about it as much in season 8 as he would’ve in season 6.)

When Jon died the first time - I thought for sure he’d come back in some blaze of glory. That they’d try to burn his body, but he’d have this epic 'Unburnt’ moment, like Dany (lol). I’d like to see Dany wake a dragon a second time with some sort of similar funeral pyre that she walks into… except that two people walk out instead of one.

I know, I know. *adjusts tinfoil hat*

But Sam Tarly happens to agree with me:

Always.

Beric Dondarrion

Considering the man gave his life long ago for Catelyn to become Lady Stoneheart in the books, I think his entire purpose for still kickin’ around in Season 8 is to give someone the 'Last Kiss’. Not really a unique idea, no. Popular candidates tend to be Sandor (after all, he tells him 'We will meet again’), Daenerys, or one of the Stark kids. But my money’s on Jon.

Melisandre

I’m an atheist (like GRRM), and therefore, I more or less despise Melisandre for basically convincing what used to be a good man to burn his daughter alive. That’s some Abraham and Isaac shit right there (and that shit better happen in the books because it’s powerful AF commentary and I’m here for it).

All that said, what I’d love to happen with Melisandre is to see her realize her god isn’t real (assuming the Night King has been messing with her visions), and have a personality crisis/breakdown. Afterward, if my theory about Jon happens to be true, she’ll play a role in bringing him back, perhaps even lending her life in the process. Buuuut I wouldn’t mind Gendry’s future wife avenging his cousin’s death and closing her 'blue eyes’ forever.

As for the rest…

People I’m unsure will live or die:

Drogon 🤞

Ghost 🤞

Nymeria 🤞

Davos Seaworth 🤞

Tyrion Lannister 🤞

Sandor Clegane 🤞

Grey Worm 🤞

Bronn

Ned Umber

Alys Karstark

People I think will live:

Samwell Tarly

Gilly

Daenerys Targaryen

Arya Stark

Bran Stark

Little Sam

“Boatbaby”

Rhaegal

Gendry

Missandei

Jon Snow (resurrected)

[pinesconessecrets]

Ice to Meet You

Merry Christmas @ladynightmare12 ! I hope you enjoy the fic!! <: I had a lot of fun with the soulmate AU, since it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. I combined it with the first meetings AU too. Have a great Christmas! <3

****

Wirt had given up on trying to find his soulmate when he was thirteen. He still remembered the conversation that came after he mentioned it to his mom. She had choked on her tea, wheezing until she’d managed to regain control of herself again. Then began the spiel about, “Oh, sweetie. You’ll meet her at some point in your life, don’t give up now!” and Wirt just sighed. Internally, of course. He didn’t want to upset his mom any further. A good bit of everyone in his grade had found their soulmate, leaving Wirt feeling terribly alone. Sara tried to comfort him, except she ran into her soulmate a few months later; it was some guy named Brian. That was a fun day.

He was a little more than relieved to graduate high school, which meant moving away to a college in a different state. A college in Oregon had caught his eye and he applied, half expecting to get denied. But lo and behold, the college actually accepted him and even had a full ride scholarship too.

Greg was against Wirt moving across the country when he broke the news. Wirt reassured him that he would call every day and keep in touch. He wouldn’t be left out just because Wirt didn’t live in the same house anymore.

Wirt enjoyed the trip to Oregon. His parents rented a small u-Haul for the stuff Wirt could take to put in his dorm. He was lucky enough to score a single person room, complete with his own bathroom. He didn’t think he could have managed if he had to share a dorm and a bathroom, much less having to suffer from public bathrooms.

They made the drive out to be like a mini vacation, taking their time since they left a few days early. Wirt’s nerves almost got the best of him a few times, the realization of him living somewhere that wasn’t with his mom and stepdad. Thankfully Greg managed to quickly distract him before he grew too anxious, eerily able to quickly figure out when his nerves were beginning to act up.

With the help of everyone, it didn’t take long before Wirt’s room was set up. He still had a few things to tweak here and there, like moving his desk closer to the window and hanging up his poems on the walls. He didn’t have much time to be particularly picky about how his room was set up with his parents and brother around.

They stayed in town for a few days, exploring the place with Wirt in tow. It definitely was a college town considering the absurd amount of fast food restaurants around. Like seriously, who needed this many fast food places? At least there were a few cafes for Wirt to hang out in. Cafes were pretty sweet places to chill at and they had a great effect on Wirt when it came to writing poetry. He was excited about that.

Tears were shed by his mom and Greg on the day they had to leave. Greg made Wirt promise to call him every day, and that was a rock fact. Wirt lingered in the parking lot for a bit longer than he intended, staring off into space before letting out a long sigh. He hoped he would be able to survive the semester before Christmas break. His next adventure in life had begun, only to bring challenges he had no way to prepare for.

Wirt got to studying diligently when the semester began. The majority of his classes were the core classes every freshman were required to take, including math. Thank god that he only needed to take two semesters of it due to his major in English. Math was one of his most detested classes; it was the worst. Maybe he was being overly dramatic, but Wirt would rather prefer to listen to someone scrape their nails on a chalkboard repeatedly for hours than be stuck in math class for even an hour. The entire point was above him, and the fact that other kids were majoring in math just blew his mind. They were to be feared.

The semester started out slow but picked up steam as the weeks went on. Midterms came and went, letting Wirt breathe a sigh of relief when his passing grades were posted.

He video called Greg before he went out trick or treating on Halloween, both happy and mortified that Greg decided to go as a garden gnome. Their trip to the Unknown was still very present in their minds years after it happened. At least now it was easier to deal with, and they didn’t have to worry about being sent into a fit of panic when winter rolled around anymore. Wirt admitted that Greg wore the outfit far better than he did, earning a protest of “No, you wore it better!” from Greg. They bickered back and forth until their mom told them to knock it out or else Greg wouldn’t be getting any candy that year. That shut Greg up and he hastily told Wirt goodbye and that he’d show him how much candy he got before going to bed.

Wirt found himself growing progressively more stressed as the end of the semester rolled around. His professors shoved study guides down their student’s throats and made it very clear that passing their finals would make or break their grades. Wirt found himself spending more and more time at his favorite cafe. He would have been surprised that he hadn’t drunk all of their tea if he wasn’t so stressed about passing his finals.

A week before finals, the unthinkable happened.

Wirt was on his way to the Jasmine Brew Cafe, lost in thought about his upcoming math final. It was the one he dreaded the most, and rightfully so. Other students in his class struggled as much as he did. The professor didn’t know how to break down the lesson so other kids could understand what he was trying to teach. Wirt barely managed to understand what the heck he was talking about most the time, and he hoped it would be enough.

Of course, the dork was so lost in thought that he wasn’t watching where he was walking. His foot made contact with frozen ice on the sidewalk, causing him to slip and fall down to the pavement. Wirt miraculously held onto his notebooks, laying on his back, winded from his fall.

Someone with unruly brown hair peered down at him with a look of mild concern. Wirt wished he could turn invisible because he knew that everyone around him saw what just happened.

“Hi there. It’s ice to meet you finally.” The other boy paused, before continuing. “I hope that’s not weird? I’ve seen you around campus before and I noticed you were always alone and I was going to say hi but I always got distracted and oh my god I’m sorry I’m kinda rambling. I tend to do that a lot and my sister always punches me and yep I’m gonna shut up now.”

Wirt’s wrist burned. That was what his stupid soulmate mark said. ‘Hi there, it’s ice to meet you finally.’

He wanted to say something witty back, but all that could come out of his mouth was, “Was that a motherfucking pun?” He rarely cussed, but dangit he was sleep deprived and angry that he was stupid enough to fall and slip on ice.

The other boy blanched, his extended hand frozen in shock. Wirt shuffled to his feet, clutching his notebooks to his chest. An awkward silence enveloped the two, only to be broken by the other boy.

“Do you want to go somewhere warm? Get some coffee or something?”

Wirt broke free of his surprise. “Uh, um, sure. I was heading to the Jasmine Brew Cafe to get some studying done. It’s right up the street here.”

“Cool. I’ve only been there once or twice, so lead the way.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at Wirt expectantly.

“Right.” Wirt turned on his heels and began walking to the cafe, fidgeting with the spiral of a notebook. He knew that he was probably acting slightly like a jerk. Okay, a lot like a jerk. He had spent the majority of his teenage years resenting the idea of soulmates, knowing he’d never find his and that he’d live the rest of his life alone. But look what happened. He ran into his soulmate.

The rush of warm air made Wirt feel grateful for heating, heading to his usual spot by the wall. He sat with his back to the wall, and a large window to his left. Being able to look out into the street helped declutter his mind.

He almost relaxed, until the other boy - his soulmate - slid into the chair across from him. He looked as nervous as Wirt was.

“I’m Dipper, by the way. I don’t think I introduced myself yet.”

“Wirt. It’s um, nice to meet you, I guess,” he mumbled, his awkwardness hitting him like a fricking train. Now that the fact that yep, him finding his soulmate was a thing, was starting to sink in, a feeling of panic also begun to set in too.

“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re freaking out there a little. I mean, I’m kinda freaking out too, but that’s because I’m super pumped to have finally run into my soulmate.” Dipper looked giddy almost.

Wirt chewed on a nail. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. It’s just… I gave up on finding my soulmate years ago, so I never thought I would actually run into them. I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk or anything because oh my god I feel so bad for being cold to you.”

When Dipper was silent, Wirt looked up to find him holding back a snicker. With the biggest shit eating grin, Dipper replied, “Was that a motherfucking pun?”

“Oh my god.” Wirt groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Do not use my own words against me.”

“Kinda hard to considering they’re right here.” Dipper rolled his sleeve back, revealing the words scrawled across his arm. God, they were even in Wirt’s own handwriting. How crazy was that?

Wirt reached out to touch the words on Dipper’s arm, stopping short once he realized what he was about to do. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in. But I don’t mind if you wanna take a closer look at them.” His voice was quiet.

Figuring that he may as well roll with the punches, Wirt pulled his own sleeve back, exposing Dipper’s godawful pun written on the inside of his forearm. Dipper didn’t hesitate before running his fingers over Wirt’s pale skin, tracing the scratchy letters of his own handwriting. It looked different from his own, his letters rushed and hurried versus the flowing loops of Wirt’s.

Wirt finally caved and traced the words on Dipper’s arm. The two dorks sat in silence, no words needing to be exchanged as they let the importance of the day truly sink in.

The corners of Dipper’s mouth quirked up in a grin after a while. “So, did you wanna get a coffee and chat? And maybe tell me how you’ve bean all these years.”

Wirt had a feeling the puns weren’t ever going to stop.

[themcfuckups]

monty goes into labor a week early, right on christmas! who woulda guessed?  rp between me (cigarettequeef) and @monty-enzo (pocket butter) word count: long as fuck, 21300 warnings: birth, surgery, violence, 

Pocket Butter

The birth of their children was long since coming. Monty and Oscar had done all they could to prepare for them. Proofing the house, and setting up a nursery. Monty was often caught standing and gazing longingly into the nursery and rubbing his stomach. Who knew what their future held, it didn't stop Monty from imagining. He looked up seeing Oscar and smiled, taking his hand. "Hey babe." he said and pulls him down for a kiss. Lacing their hands together and giving a gentle squeeze. "How are you feeling today?" Monty had known it was rough on him, and he could see how it was wearing him down. Monty would try to do what he could to help Oscar feel comfortable, he gave him plenty of attention, and stayed near to him as much as he could. He hardly let Oscar have time to himself, he wanted Oscar to know he wasn't alone. Their Thanksgiving was a bit of a bizarre emotional roller coaster when Monty became very emotional and clingy to the turkey. Till this day he still didn't know why he acted like that, he figured it was just because of the hormones from pregnancy. Though now it was just the two of them enjoying a quiet evening, Monty was due any day now.

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar had dark coloration under his eyes, both from lack of good sleep and from the stress and pent up energy and magic he had. he'd been pissing a lot more than normal, not just from the pregnancy, but also from the lack of his typical other release of magic. he'd normally want to prolong kisses, but lately he'd been keeping them short and quick. normally he could do long makeouts with no expectation of sex or release, kisses werent a sexual-only thing to him, but with all the stress building up over these long months, he'd started pulling back out of frustration, feeling restricted by more than just the stupid belt he'd forced himself to wear. he squeezed montys hand back, answering with a short "horny." and looking at the newly set up nursery that monty seemed preoccupied with staring into, raising a brow with a slightly offhand comment "what is this, a hallmark card?" the extra attention monty gave him was appreciated, and he did his best to be upbeat as per his usual self, but even before, he was known to say something offhand or of a dark humor. lately, that was probably becoming more often.

Pocket Butter

Monty of course had become aware of his husbands social behavior and how he reacted to things from being so sexually pent up. It was for his and the baby's safety. He frowns a little as Oscar muttered he was horny then asked about the nursery in a way that made him feel a little tense. His soul thumped as he stepped back from the door and closed it. "No, it is a christmas present." he said looking up at him. Monty sometimes couldn't help but feel a little tense around Oscar, he was worried about upsetting him, his husband rarely slept, and when he could he woke up feverish with nightmares. Monty didn't enjoy the pain Oscar was going through just because of the baby inside of him. Thinking about it made him choke up, he moved towards him and put his arms around him. "I love you babe." he said softly. Then stepping back and looking at him again teary eyed. "Want to help me decorate the tree?" he asked trying to keep his voice from cracking.

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar frowned at the first reply, confused "what? no i meant-" he cut off though, not feeling like trying to explain the offhand joke, it'd probably upset monty now that he actually thought about it a second time. he seen even now monty still got upset about it, and he let out a sigh, putting his arms around monty and hugging back, he mumbled out a sorry before replying with an upbeat tone and grin, it wasnt too hard for him to fake it since he'd had plenty of practice over the years "yeah, lets decorate the tree, sugarlumps." he put emphasis on the nickname, moving his hands to feel up montys chest.

Pocket Butter

Monty almost tensed, as his chest was rather sensitive, especially because it was full of milk. "Oscar-!" before he could say anything further his body reacted to the movement and milk leaked out soaking the front of his shirt. His face colored blue and he let out a timid sound but didn't entirely pull away from him, he was embarrassed though. "S-...sorry... I .. I'm sensitive." he said taking Oscars hands and keeping them pressed against his chest. Often times Monty didn't want to stop, he wanted to be intimate with his husband, but doing so would cause problems. It was hard to say no, though if Oscar wasn't allowed to Monty ... well he tried not to.

CiggaretteQueef

if he had a dick, he'd have a boner. though since he didnt, it just added to the constant wetness between his legs. hed taken to wearing pads so he wouldnt have to deal with his underwear being uncomfortably wet and dirty all the time. his state of almost constant horny was becoming painful, at least in his mind "look at that, yer makin a mess, doll." he gladly kept his hands to montys chest, massaging over the wettening shirt.

Pocket Butter

Monty shuddered at his words, drawing in a sharp breath then looking up at him again. He knew Oscar was pent up which is why he wanted to distract him with decorating the tree. Monty was also pent up as well, though he could contain it a little better. Then again at the moment now his entire body was reacting from being pent up and touched. Monty shifts a little uncomfortably, "S-s-since you are t-taller then me." he utters out. "I .. I figured it would b-be better for you t-to get the top of the t-tree."

CiggaretteQueef

oscar was quiet, slipping his thumbs under the collar of montys shirt, wanting to pull it down, but he stopped himself. it was getting easier to pull back from his urges after so long of getting denied it, a look of frustration and just purely pissed crossing his face for a split second before he corrected it as he stared down at the object he most desired to pound into the floor. he slid his hands to montys shoulders, giving him a kiss on the forehead "yeah, makes sense. i could lift you to put the star on th-" right, no. a low grumble sounded in his throat, a quiet"nevermind." following it.

Pocket Butter

Monty saw the flash across his face when he declined Oscar's pleasure, he didn't want to, looking down he felt half to blamed then looked back at him as he was kissed on the head. He could hear the further frustration in his voice as he recalled he couldn't lift Monty either. Monty lets out a light sigh then smiles trying to make the best of this. The doctors had said that the baby could be due any day now. He reached for some ornaments in the box to hang on the tree. "Remember when we first met... and I didn't know what christmas was?"

CiggaretteQueef

oscar followed suit, trying to focus on the tree. he did really enjoy the set up of christmas, so at least this was a relaxing and enjoyable thing for him to get lost in. "i remember i brought you that cute little outfit and you got tangled up in the lights." a small smile perked his mouth at the thought. a lot easier back then when he wasnt pregnant. and now they'd always have kids to take care of. he frowned a little at the thought, trying to bury it again. he didnt want to think about how he'd probably fail at being a family man, considering his personality and preferred lifestyle.

Pocket Butter

"I loved that outfit." Monty replied smiling and just as he was reaching to hang up an ornament a sharp pain jarred him causing him to jerk and drop it. The orb shattered on the floor at his feet. "Oh- no, no .. I.. Im so sorry I didnt mean to break it I-." he was starting to get down so he could pick up the pieces when another pain coursed through him he winced and put his hand against his stomach. "Ow.." he wasn't sure why he was having pain, he straightened up letting out a breath. He didn't feel any more pain at the moment and moved towards the kitchen to get a broom. Monty grabbed the counter, and felt his pants suddenly get wet. Soaking down his legs and puddling to the floor, he stared down in mild horror. Then trying to keep the shakiness from his voice. "O-Oscar.." he tried to stay calm. "I think.. my water just broke."

CiggaretteQueef

oscar jumped at the sound, not realizing monty was in pain at first until he seen him hold his stomach. that certainly put the fear in him, but it easily could have been a braxtin hicks or whatever it was called. he put the ornament he was holding onto the tree before following after monty, about to ask if he was ok before seeing the puddle monty made and what he said. "shit- ok, uhh- stay calm." that was more towards himself. he had a moment of panic in his head trying to think of what the fuck to do, even though he'd planned this in advance., thanks to sals advice "alright, ok, ill go grab the hospital bag and then ill help you to the car." he didnt wait for any type of reply, dashing into their bedroom to grab the duffle bag and sling it over his shoulder, slipping on his shoes and grabbing a jacket for monty too, he came back in record time, putting the coat over monty so he wouldnt get cold outside. he offered a hand for him to hold and help support him to lead him to the car, where he'd set a blanket in the seat and help lift him onto it. clearly this had to be an exception to the no lifting rule since monty might have struggled to get up into the seat in his condition.

Pocket Butter

Monty could feel a sliding pain in his body as the baby had been apparently moving downward. For a split second he thought it was actually going to come out. He let out a whimper as Oscar left, holding his hand against his stomach, the front of his shirt still soaked from the milk before. He looked up at Oscar as he came back with the bag and a coat then was helped out to the car. Monty gives a little strained effort to get inside of the car, but after a moment he manages and sits down with a huff. His hand cradling against his stomach trying to settle his breathing. He could feel mild pain aching in his lower back, and cramping in his pelvis. "S-stay calm babe." he mutters as he buckled himself in. "Drive sa-ah! Mh.. s-safe.."

CiggaretteQueef

oscar tossed the bag into the backseat, getting in and starting the car, only half hearing monty, but nodding in agreement, he was focusing on the task at hand, which was to get monty to the hospital since theres no way that baby would be coming out naturally. they'd had an appointment for the c section, not long from now, so it wasnt super surprising for monty to go into labor a little early. as he pulled out of the driveway and drove to their destination, he pulled out his phone, tapping on it for a moment before setting it in his lap and glancing at monty nervously "the docs should be ready for ya when we get there. it'll be ok." he tried not to think about them slicing monty open.

Pocket Butter

It was a short drive to the hospital, and Monty was in some pain a nurse came out with a wheelchair and helped Monty into it keeping the coat around him. The nurse started into the hospital to sign Monty in while Oscar would park, if he did. Monty told the nurse to wait because he didn't want to go in without his husband, "Hes the father of my baby, I'd really like for him to be there." he said. The nurse nodded and said she'd wait, once he'd come back in she took them to a room and got them settled in. "Oh, you're the patient whose baby wasn't able to birth normally..." she looked over the records. "You are a little early sweetheart, let me go find the doctor." before Monty could ask about anything the woman walked out. Monty let out an anguished sigh and lays back against the pillows. He didn't even have to wait that long until she came back "I'm sorry, hes out of town visiting for the holidays. He said he'd catch a flight back, I can give you some medication to help ease the pain." she replied moving over to Monty. "No- .. I .. Im good no thank you... I don't want any weird substances.."

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar didnt like anyone taking monty from his eyesight right now, but he did his best to keep focused and calm. causing issues and a scene would only make things worse, remember? he growled since no one could hear him as he found a spot to park and jogged back to the entrance. he almost took the wheelchair from the nurse, but decided against it, not wanting to come off as aggressive, even though he very much was at the moment. in the room, oscar sat in the chair next to the bed, rubbing montys hand. when monty refused the meds, he immediately gave a dubious look "uh, ya sure about that sweetheart? it's only gonna get worse. uh, from what i hear.." he nervously glanced away, not fond of talking about his past experience.

Pocket Butter

Monty looked at Oscar and smiled softly "Alright babe," he gave Oscar's hand a gentle reassuring squeeze then allowed the nurse to give him the painkiller, he settled into the bed letting out a nervous breath. They'd have to wait, even longer for the doctor to show up, Monty was worried about the baby being trapped. He tried to keep himself relaxed for his sake and the babies, and maybe Oscar's too. Monty tried to distract himself by asking random questions to see if Oscar new the answers to them, things like what are the different flavors to candy canes, how many gum drops are in 1 cup, and why do gingerbread men have to live in gingerbread houses. "Wouldn't they just be living inside of their own flesh? I mean, when we make gingerbread men its of the same batch we make the houses out of."

CiggaretteQueef

the questions honestly confused him a bit, or at least the gumdrops one did, he'd only reply with an 'i dont know'. he gave a short laugh at the last one though "pretty much. though maybe theyre like parasites, parasites live in flesh." he thought about it a moment, snapping his fingers with a smile "and so do fetuses. maybe gingerbread men are really gingerbread fetuses." an odd joke, but he wasnt exactly on his a-game, still only able to concentrate so much on montys little question game while being in a place he hated. he kept glancing around nervously, and rubbing his chest where the large scar he sported was hidden under his shirt. as time passed, he'd get more antsy, starting to pace and walk about, attempting to do tasks like fetching monty ice chips. and a lot of complaining to the nurses about how the doctor better hurry their ass up, which would slowly get more aggressive and snappish. he wasnt well versed on labor times and what was normal, his only experience was fairly fast, so at that point, he was under the impression the baby might be suffocating, and how would they even know? they wouldnt, it would be born dead and then everything would be up to him to keep his fetus alive, which honestly, he didnt expect to happen. he fully thought somewhere along the way, something would happen and theyd only have montys baby alive and well, so this, to him, was going to be the death of both babies. he raised his voice at the nurse whod come to check on monty, making them quickly exit the room after, clearly afraid of him. its possible theyd heard word of him lashing out at the other hospital too.

Pocket Butter

Monty had watched it all go down, he saw how stressed out Oscar was, and he felt bad he couldn't do anything to help him. Letting out a sigh he shifted to get comfortable and winced in pain, he squeezed his eyes shut panting a little. He hadn't even realized he dug his fingers into the sheets and held them tightly almost ripping the material. "Ooo'god... it hurts..." he groaned out, sweat beading his skull "I .. I think the baby is trying to come out...it- it cant.." he stated sounding a little panicked, Monty's baby was too big to be born naturally since he was a smaller monster. That was why they were here for a c-section, another pained moan escaped Monty's mouth and he dropped his head back on the pillow. "I think I'm gonna puke... or.. pass out." he mumbled trying to relax. Finally after all of the waiting, the stress and pain the doctor was coming up the hall pulling his coat on and fumbling for his glasses. He came into the room and looked at the two of them, seeing Monty was in a lot of pain he had to act fast. "It seems like the baby is crowning, we need to take you in for an emergency c-section so the baby doesn't get stuck!" he started quickly unhooking him from the monitor and other things wheeling the bed out of the room. "If you're the father lets go." he said to Oscar before striding quickly to the emergency room where he'd have to operate.

It didn't take long for the other nurses to dress and come in, they helped Monty get comfortable and put a shot in his back called a spinal block so he wouldn't feel any pain. Then also covered him with a curtain so he couldn't really see what was going on, or to see the blood, he was shaking and trying not to feel hysteric worried about the baby. The doctor rushed in again in his scrubs, sterilized with his gloves and a face mask. He also had an assortment of tools with him as well. The doctor remained calm as he spoke to the nurses stating where he was going to cut and when. The first poke cut the blue flesh and colored blood slid out from the tip, the doctor drew a line down, blood following. Nurses used equipment to catch and draw the blood away so the doctor could see. They were working quickly, or- trying to.

CiggaretteQueef

When the doctor arrived, oscar was both relieved and pissed. he honestly was pretty close to yelling at him, but held it back because this guy is gonna be cutting open my partner. he instead stayed quiet, following after and putting on whatever papery blue suit thing they offered him. normally he'd comment on how unfashionable it was, but he was preoccupied with the situation. he stood next to montys head, preferring not to look at what they were doing below. sure, blood and gore didnt bother him in the least, but monty getting sliced open while he voluntarily stands aside? not pleasant. he stayed quiet, offering a hand for monty to hold. hed started feeling a pain in his side a bit before the doctor showed up, but ignored it, even as it steadily grew worse. he felt like it was sweltering in the room, causing him to sweat. when he heard "sir are you alright? youre bleeding." he thought they were talking to monty, which was a really odd thing to say to someone they were cutting open.

Pocket Butter

Monty heard the distress in the nurse's voice as two of them were now focused on Oscar, they saw that he was bleeding, and wanted to help. Monty was afraid, well for the nurses lives anyway, he looked to Oscar as they tried to offer assistance. He squeezed his hand, "I know you hate being here, I know you hate going through this but please Oscar... let them help you, please." he said begging him and looking up worried. "If not for the baby then for you, I don't want to lose you." he stated. His small hand was shaking in Oscar's hand and he was trying to keep calm and not cry, though it was really hard to. Until a thought crossed his mind and he make a choked sound between his crying and a laugh, before uttering out. "You left your belt on." he mumbled, wondering how the nurses would react to that.

CiggaretteQueef

once oscar noticed attention was being aimed at him, he looked down to see the blood dripping down his legs, looking back up with clear panic in his eyes, he growled at the approach of the nurses, stepping closer to the bed monty was on. he looked down at monty with the same panicked expression mixed with indecision. he didnt want to leave monty getting sliced open, this wasnt a thing he wanted to budge on. the last comment threw him off guard, confusing him for a moment before half smiling for a second, "yeah- i did." he looked back up to the nurses, but made no move to listen to them, "this- this doesnt take long, i can wait, i'm fine. its fine." he was trying to comfort monty and talk him into letting him stay.

Pocket Butter

Monty was trembling tears were in his eye sockets, he looked at Oscar "B-babe, babe please let them help you." he stated. Trying to think quick. "I-if .. if they help, uh- th-the faster it comes out the faster we can get home a-and fuck." he stated. Which both was inappropriate and disproving of the doctors though they said nothing. The two nurses were intent on helping out as the blood kept puddling to the ground, Monty tried to keep the worry and fear from his voice, but how could he? He didn't let go of Oscar's hand "Y-you wont have to w-wear that belt anymore."

CiggaretteQueef

odd flex for the situation, since oscar wasnt really thinking about sex at that moment, he frowned, realizing monty was trying to find any excuse to make him do what they wanted. this upset him more, and his grip loosened on montys hand while his other hand turned into a fist, expression distressed. "i- you dont-.. .. ok.." logically, he understood why it was important to go ASAP. he just felt it didnt matter compared to being by montys side. he had a flash of his nightmares, where he was told if he didnt let them violate him, theyd hurt monty. he got that same feeling here. no choice. he let go of montys hand completely, withdrawing both physically and mentally, but aggressively snapping when one of the nurses got too close for his comfort with a yelled "dont touch me!" he left the room with the two keeping their distance from him.

Pocket Butter

Monty had hoped that would help, nope. He figured he made it worse "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I hurt you..." he said as he choked up watching as Oscar again lashed out and left. He was crying more and started feeling woozy and sick. Would they be okay? Would he be okay? Monty was hysteric, repeatedly claiming it was his fault, that he hurt Oscar when he promised he never would. That he was putting him through this trauma instead of keeping him safe. The doctors were trying to keep Monty calm, saying that if he kept this up it would put him and the baby in danger. Monty didn't hear them, their voices disoriented and drowned out by loud ringing. Then all went dark.  "We lost him," one of the nurses stated looking at the monitor, "Let me get the baby out, resuscitate his soul." The doctor said, finally able to remove the baby who was lodged in Monty's pelvis. They cleaned its mouth and nose, gently rubbing the baby to get blood flow and circulation through it. The infant took its first breath and cried. The doctor handed them off to a nurse to get cleaned before turning back to Monty, he had a mask over his mouth, they pushed on his chest and squeezed the air into him. The doctor and nurse managed to resuscitate Monty, they sewn him up and after he started to rouse again they brought his baby in to him. He was delirious and confused, stressing out from not understanding what was going on. The nurse had to move the baby away from him again.

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oscar was greeted by two other nurses, both of which were clearly strong and used as backup for the more dangerous patients. they tried to get him to sit in a wheelchair, but he refused. they led him to a room at first to check the fetus activity, very quickly ruling that it was too late to try using anything to postpone the labor. they had to cut the lock on his chasity belt since he refused to cooperate and say where the keys were, though in his defense he wasnt entirely sure if monty had left them at the house or not. they moved him to another operation room, and it took several minutes for them to actually encourage him enough to lay down, one in particular seemed to know what buttons to push by saying "your partner wants you to do this." they injected him with quick pain meds and had someone stand by oscars shoulders to, unknowingly to oscar, use calming magic on him to try keeping him put without escalating the situation. the fetus was in distress by now, and oscar was feeling very tired and weak from bloodloss, contributing to his compliance. they cut him open, wasting no time in removing the baby as quickly as they could. the cutting was painful, though thankfully dulled. once removed, oscar turned his head away from where they had the baby and were working on it. there was clearly something wrong with it, the room was silent, no crying.

he felt sick. it was like a repeat. once they stitched him up, he attempted sitting up, only to be held in place by the guy above him. he growled, but it was more like a grumble, he felt tired, giving up and staying put with a frown. the doctor or perhaps head nurse? he wasnt sure who had just sliced him open, but he honestly didnt care. they told him something about the baby not being able to breath, but he wasnt really listening. the only thing he could think of was waiting for an opportunity to leave. his distracted behavior was pretty clear, the nurses setting him up with an iv bag of blood and added something in it to make him more sleepy, knocking his ass out. they moved him to a room and ended up strapping his arms down to keep him there.

Pocket Butter

One of the doctors that had operated on Oscar would take care of the baby, working to resuscitate it, rubbing its back and body the same as they had done to the other. Gently patting it and getting the fluids out, the baby was so incredibly tiny. After a time they managed to get its lungs cleared, then put a Endotracheal tube down its throat to help it breathe. The nurse cleaned off the baby, swaddled it and put it into an incubator, hooking it up to the other necessary things before checking on the first delivered baby. She knew it was urgent to get them to feed and bond with the parent, but with how distressed Monty was, he had been momentarily rejecting the baby. The nurse had put the two together side by side, one in the hospitals cradle the other in the incubator. She watched them, making sure the preemie would be alright. "I... I hope they both come around.." she stated. Monty's eyes were rolling as he fought to keep himself awake and under control. The stress and anxiety taking a toll on him, he kept asking for Oscar, where was Oscar? The doctor came in and told Monty he needed to take care of his baby, Monty didn't understand what he was saying. "Baby?" Monty asked breathless, oh yeah, I came to the hospital to give birth. "Where... where are they?" The doctor sighed grateful Monty remembered, he disappeared then came back after a while holding the baby in his arms before passing him over to Monty.

CiggaretteQueef

All of this had transpired unknown to jillie and oxana, who had taken a flight thinking theyd be back before montys scheduled c section. obviously that didnt work out. the hospital would have contacted sal again, who in turn would contact his parents again, who immediately dropped what they were doing to catch the quickest flight back. which wouldnt be easy since it was christmas.  oscar wasnt out of it for long, his body was in fight or flight mode and it was trying to counteract the meds that werent given in a high enough dosage to keep him asleep. he twitched awake to the feeling of being rolled to another room, at the request of monty. he quickly pretended he was still asleep so the nurses wouldnt notice. he heard some voices, but wasnt able to focus on what was being said, feeling tired and everything felt sluggish and blurry. he waited for the voices to walk away before opening his eyes and shifting to sit up, quickly realizing his hands were strapped down. he frowned, tugging on them, feeling a sharp pain where he'd been cut open, but ignoring it in favor of trying to break the straps, unaware of his surroundings and that monty was in them, and not completely aware of why or what happened either, considering the drugs fogging his mind.

Pocket Butter

Monty was sitting up on his bed, staring at the tiny being in his arms, it wasn't exactly like holding Lorenzo because this baby was different, it was his and Oscar's baby. He was overwhelmed with emotion and started sobbing as he held the baby close to him, cupping its tiny head and rocking gently. "Its okay, Papa's here don't cry.. Daddy will be here too." he said, and after he finished stating that the doctors brought Oscar in. They took a moment to asked Monty how he was feeling, explained how to breast feed, and also that they had the other baby and they were still taking care of it. Monty nodded and watched as they left, not even a moment after Oscar popped up on the bed trying to get free. Monty held the baby gently in his arms, he had still yet to feed it, watching Oscar. How was he going to introduce him? Would Oscar reject the baby? Monty choked up and looked down at the baby, "Its not your fault, its mine... I put him through this hell..." he mumbles kissing the baby on the head. He sniffled choking up a little more, trying to settle down.  Then, suddenly doing something that was probably fairly dangerous, Monty got up and out of the bed. He went over to Oscar's side and took his hand, squeezing it. "I'm here babe, I'm okay. Its safe.. its alright." he whispered softly and nuzzled into his face wanting to help calm him down. And also trying not to squish the baby too much between them.

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Oscar startled at the sudden touch, his eyesight not up to par when he was drugged, normally he'd have seen the movement(though normally he'd also have studied his surroundings too) yanking back as much as he could while strapped before recognizing it was monty. oh shit, right, monty was here. "monty?" he frowned in confusion, relaxing a bit, making him feel more tired. he continued pulling on the straps, though he laid back more now that monty was here, before he brilliantly realized monty could unstrap him. he still hadnt noticed the baby, his sluggish mind assuming he was holding a blanket or something. "canya- undo these for me?" his voice sounded slow, clearly still drugged along with being tired as fuck from stress and blood loss.

Pocket Butter

Monty let out a relieved sound, "Yeah baby, of course I can." he stated softly, he knew Oscar had a flight response every time he was in a hospital. He knew he would run away if given the chance, but it was a risk he was willing to take. Monty put his baby into the cradle they offered then walked back over to him. Trying not to choke up again, he was scared, he could see Oscar was under a lot of stress. Once he got his husband free of the confines he pulls him up carefully and brings him over to his own bed and attempts to lay him down. "Shh shh...its okay babe, its just me and you, we are going to lay here for a little bit and get our strength back okay?" he asked softly petting Oscar's face and giving him small kisses and attention. He sniffled and started singing softly, "Don't worry...'bout a thing, everything is gonna be okay," he snuggled closer to Oscar and kept singing softly.

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Oscar rubbed his wrists once they were free, stumbling a little as monty led him to the other bed, dragging the iv bag and pole behind him, cooperating with monty easily. he felt confused, but so tired, and monty was there, and he sounded calm, though the crying was concerning. he vaguely wondered if he was dying or some shit, mumbling a "shouldnt you be celebrating" to monty, part of his dark humor that monty should be glad if he was dying, though in the situation, it sounded as if he meant celebrate because of the babies. he wrapped his arms around monty, hugging him close and almost immediately conking out. it'd be hours until he woke up, with monty in his arms, his sleepstate would assume he was back home in bed and all was normal.

Pocket Butter

"Shh baby," he didnt take that statement as anything. "Right now just rest, you're safe and so am I. I'm here." he kissed Oscar on the mouth. "I love you." he whispered. Monty had stayed with Oscar as much as he could, then reached over to pull the cradle close to him and carefully took the baby out of the cradle again. It started making tiny noises, Monty held it close, and nervously lifted the front of his gown and offered a breast to the baby. Anxious. At first the newborn didnt take right away, and Monty kept adjusting them trying to get the baby in the right spot. Then it finally took, feeding for the first time. He let out a quiet sight, admiring the tiny baby in his arms, but he kept wondering about the other, had Oscar's baby made it? No one told him any news of the other, except that they still had it in intensive care. Monty swallowed back the lump in his throat and let out a breath. Its okay, its going to be okay. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." Monty whispered looking at Oscar as he held and fed the baby next to him.

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar slept for several hours, montys scent nearby making him feel safe. the nurse that checked on them was obviously perturbed that not only were oscars straps removed, but he was also in montys bed, meaning both had been up and about. they lightly scolded monty, since he was the only one awake and also they were pretty frightened of oscar. theyd come back later to move the beds so they were touching and strapped the beds together by the bars so the two would have more room. while doing this and lifting the sheets, there was a noticable amount of blood staining the sheets under oscar. his mother had called, asking for an update, which led to the explanation of everything and she signed off on them keeping him drugged so he could heal and wouldnt have to deal with him most certainly getting out of bed and trying to run off. he woke up very momentarily while they moved him to the other side of the bed to clean the sheets, with the help of another nurse, and replacing his iv bag, along with another bag of liquid to keep him asleep. his short consciousness included being confused, not recognizing the people near him and growling at them before he fell back asleep. one of the nurses would eventually come in to update monty on the smaller baby with good news of stability.

Pocket Butter

Monty stayed with Oscar the entire time, giving a bit of a fight when he was scolded and about the being moved, he half demanded them not to touch him or separate them. For some reason he was feeling tense and defensive towards them, his soul thumping in his chest. Sure Monty didn't have pure fighting or sharp teeth to back himself up, but the stress was building. And he just wanted to be left alone, the doctors had done what they needed but Monty was still restless. He even had the balls to bite one of the doctors who was trying to change Oscar's gown, he demanded them to leave it and let Oscar sleep. He also protectively tucked their baby between them, though after the longer time of silence dragging on he was starting to nod off. Jerking awake every few moments his head went down, the nurse came in to explain to Monty about the premature baby's health and vitals stabilizing. He half understood what that meant as his tired and stressed brain wouldn't comprehend. He muttered "Can't we have them? Thats our baby..." he grumbles.

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the nurse left, wishing monty good sleep. oscar woke up early the next morning, as his mind and body were convinced he was perfectly fine and he needed to get shit done. upon waking, he was calm because monty was right there next to him, until he noticed the room was way too white. that wasnt the color of his walls. he makes a low noise of pain when he sits up, because one of the nurses forgot to refill the iv drip containing the pain medication and sleepytime drugs.  holidays. he looks around the room, having to really try focusing his thoughts to figure out what the fuck was going on. with monty laying there, and being more aware and less panicked, he wasnt ready to bolt and just leave him. the movement of something next to montys side of the bed caught his eye and- oh thats a baby. thats definitely a baby. his mind went blank for a moment before it came to him- of course, they were here because monty was in labor. was this their baby? well thats a stupid question, why would there be someone elses baby in our room? then of course the flood of everything else that happened, while some of it was blurry, he definitely remembered the whole bleeding ordeal. he felt sick again. there wasnt a second baby in sight and feeling his stomach, it wasnt as taut as it had been. he really had killed it. no surprise, right? at least they had montys baby. he hoped monty wouldnt ask him to try carrying another one, its not like he was fun to be around while pregnant, so surely he'd rather oscar stay unpregnated. he stared at the little hospital crib thing- he wasnt sure what they were called- with the little newborn in it. or at least, little to him. he wasnt sure how to feel. he wasnt sure he was cut out to be a real father. clearly.

Pocket Butter

Monty stayed asleep, he was exhausted, he put the baby into the cradle and fell asleep after a while. And a few good times in the dead of night he woke up to feed the baby, but this time in the morning only Oscar and the newborn was awake. It's eyes were still closed, though a few times it would move its arms or feet. After a moment feeling Oscar moving about Monty started waking up too. "What time is it?" he mumbled in a groggy tired voice. His maternal instincts kicking in for him to get up and feed the baby again, he sat up and yawned. Not even realizing the front of his gown was basically hanging off the front of him as he was to tired to fix it after falling asleep.  Monty shifted a little in the bed and pulled the cradle closer leaning in and carefully taking the tiny baby out. The infant was very much like the two of them, it had greyish bones like Oscar, and little moles on its face like Monty. It also had a little nubby tail sticking out of a specially designed diaper. Monty yawned and held the baby close to nurse it, waking up a little more. He knew how Oscar would probably react around the baby, he did the same to Lorenzo as well. Monty said nothing and gently sang to the baby rocking it while he fed it. "Arent you a handsome little man.. just like your father."

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Oscar jumped a little at monty's movement, having been deep in thought. he glanced around the room for a clock before answering "uhh, 5:10.. am." he frowned "been here the whole night huh?" he didnt expect an answer, just talking outloud to himself. he looked back down at monty, even if he wasnt feeling great, he sure did love the sight of titty in the morning. he watched monty silently, not making any move towards or away from him and the baby. he didnt want to ask about what happened to the other one. feeling another wave of guilt. he looked down at his hands for a moment before looking back to the two. "you feelin ok? sorry i was.. asleep.."

Pocket Butter

"Thats fine babe, you needed the rest." Monty stated smiling at him, once the baby had its fill Monty burped them then put the baby back into the cradle. Then shifted over trying not to strain anything and gave Oscar much needed kisses. He wanted them too, and he was glad Oscar was feeling better, or at least he hoped he was. He let out a soft breath as he drew back feeling butterflies race about his stomach, and smiled at him cupping the side of his face. "Here is my husband, just as handsome as ever." he stated letting out a small giggle. He was about to kiss on Oscar again when there was a light knocking on the door. Monty draws back and looks over as a nurse came inside, she walked over to Monty's side of the bed and leaned over, without saying anything placed a wrapped bundle into his arms an walked out. Monty was partially confused by that reaction, then it quickly occurred to him that this was the other baby. "Hello there precious." Monty said softly as he carefully moved the blanket away from the tiny baby's face where it was bundled. He reached in and took the tiny hand that was there, and felt himself tear up before he started crying. "Gosh, they are so beautiful," he choked out, wiping his face and lightly laughing. "Guess I'm no longer the one with the tiniest hands and feet huh?" he asked the baby as if it could answer him before giving it a kiss to its skull. "I wonder if it would eat." Monty moved his gown once more and the breast he had not used to feed the first baby he attempted to feed this one with. A little hesitant hoping the tiny infant knew how to feed, it took even longer then the first, but this one finally took hold of Monty's nipple and nursed. "There go you," he said more tears flooding his eyes.

CiggaretteQueef

oscar smiled a bit at monty gushing, happy that he was happy. though when the nurse silently brought in a very small bundle, he had flashbacks. that wasnt normal. nurses normally said something all cutesy or excited or some shit. though oscar wasnt aware that monty had gone and bit a nurse, probably causing the less then friendly reaction.  oscar was certain it was dead and he did not want to be in this situation again, physically pulling back and moving away on the bed, he tensed up and averted his eyes like before. he wasnt going to look at a dead baby he caused. montys comments made him feel sick, since he thought monty was crying and talking about a dead infant. the eating comment threw him completely off, but it wasnt out of the question for a parent to react oddly to a dead newborn and try caring for it. oscar sat still and tensed, looking at the window on the other side of the room, unsure what to do in this repeated, but very different situation. after all, wes never tried to nurse their dead infant. or at least, he didnt think he did.

Pocket Butter

Monty didnt push Oscar into the situation, he was just looking at the baby and nursing it. Talking softly and gently, the infant took hold of one of Monty's fingers and held it while it fed. "Aw my gosh you have a teeny tiny tail, oh my goodness." Monty gushed over the baby trying to stay calm but he couldnt. The tiny tail was about the size of one of his fingers. "I think you are going to be cross with me a moment here but I just got to see all of you." Monty gently lays the baby between his legs and unwraps it from the blanket like a present on Christmas. - Well, the babies were a present on Christmas the best ones Monty could ever want. Once the blanket was drawn away from the baby it tucked up with its legs crossed and its arms up against its chest and head and stuck its tongue out. Monty examined the tiny baby and gently touched it all over, making sure nothing was out of ordinary. Besides the fact that it was super tiny and a little underweight the baby seemed alright. Monty couldnt stop touching the baby's tiny feet. "Now I see why you like doing that to me so much." he stated, then wraps the infant back up to keep it warm.

CiggaretteQueef

this was going on far longer than he was comfortable with, starting to wonder if monty was having a breakdown talking and gushing over what he thought was a dead infant. feeling confused and completely at a loss of would to do, he just stayed silent and kept his distance. if monty was having a breakdown, it didnt really sound like a bad one. at least, not the weeping, upset sort of breakdown. just a really uncomfortable loss of reality one. which he certainly wouldnt judge monty for how he coped, but he didnt want to touch or see the thing he'd fucked up. a different nurse walked up to the doorway, seeing on the computer that the previous nurses shift forgot to replace oscars iv drip. he knocked lightly as he entered and smiled, walking around the bed to the iv drips, three bags in hand "are you in pain?" oscar shrugged, "a little." they nodded, "sorry about that, let me change out your bags. since youve um, calmed down, we can leave off the sleep aid. i ask that you please stay in bed though, it was a rough Caesarean." oscar didnt respond, knowing it was his fault. always his fault. they spoke up again, seeing that oscar was tense and wasnt connecting to the baby, "i uh, just wanted to tell you its ok to feel detached at first to your baby, its actually pretty common. it might help if you tried to hold them." oscar of course, didnt like this change of topic, though with their words he became confused. wait, was is actually alive? the nurse reattached the bags and left. oscar sat silently for a while before getting the courage to glance over at monty, trying to determine if it was alive or not.

Pocket Butter

Monty looked up at the nurse as he came in to put the iv bag back on the hook, he smiled at him faintly before looking back down. He was rather smitten with the tiny infant, of course he loved his own as well. He had the baby laying on its back again, it was sort of stretching, spreading out its tiny toe beans and even yawned. Monty heard the other baby make noise as if sensing its sibling, "Thats right little handsome man, your sibling is here." Monty gets the first baby out of the cradle and lays them down together. They were both small, one of them much smaller then the other. But as the two were placed together they nestled close and clung onto each other, Monty gently pets their heads. Monty drew in a soft breath, a little nervous to look at Oscar, but he did and smiled "Would you like to meet your children?" he asked, reaching over to take Oscar's hand in his. "We made it, see?" he said happy tears in his eyes. "We made our little family."

CiggaretteQueef

oh. it was alive. he felt emotionally blank from how fast things were changing. just yesterday he was sliced open after watching his partner sliced open and then the flashbacks and practically hearing wes yelling at him all over again while he was forced to hold his cold dead infant. he watched silently as monty got the first one out again, putting them next to each other. seeing the size difference made him feel sick. it was clear they werent very healthy compared to their sibling. he looked away again, hesitating to answer monty. he was glad monty was happy, he didnt want to ruin it for him. he forced a smile in return, making a half assed joke "meet em? known em for months." the joke fell flat and he quickly looked away again. he was having a hard time getting a grip on the situation, even though it was something to be expected for months.

Pocket Butter

Monty understood his feelings, he drew his hand back. "I'm not upset with you." he said suddenly as he turns his complete attention to the infants who were still clinging comfortably to each other, he wraps them up "I'd have no reason to be, even if the baby was lost. It would not of been your fault," he continued as he gently tucked the babies in "After all you didn't ask to be pregnant, you didn't even want to be." he settles back on the bed letting out a faint pained sigh. "So I would not of held it against you if something happened to them, and thats alright." he said his hand on the smaller one, watching it move. "Even if things didnt turn out right, even if they are smaller then the other, they are alive. And in good health, the nurse said that they were a little underweight, but thats okay. I can keep them fed." he brings his hand up to his stomach. "And even if you don't want to look at them, or hold them or anything right now, thats okay too. I'm just..glad you stayed." he said softly and looked over at him. "These two will always be here, so when you are ready... you can."

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar stayed silent, the urge to argue it not being his fault strong, but he kept his mouth shut, knowing it wouldnt do any good and didnt really matter. Looking at the babies again though, he mumbled out "I could've done better.." he could've taken a lot better care of himself and the baby. It wasnt just the previa and early delivery that had made them small and weak. He brought his hands up to his face to rub it, already feeling tired again. He didnt want to be in the hospital, but he was pretty sure leaving was out of the question for several reasons. Plus, he wanted to make sure monty was healing, and if he left, monty might follow. Sighing, he leaned back against the bed. "Cant expect you to do all tha work. Im.. I'm not gonna be a deadbeat dad like mine was." He suddenly wondered then if that's what happened to his father. What if the reason he skipped out was because he felt like hed be a shitty dad? All hed done was guarantee it. He frowned with his eyes closed, before opening them and staring at the ceiling, putting an arm around monty and scooting closer. He tried to think of something positive to say. "So.. guess this means I cant suck your tits anymore, huh?" Close enough.

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Monty was humming gently in the quiet of the hospital, he was watching the babies sleeping. "Of course you wont be a deadbeat father, like mine.. dumping me off at the orphanage because I wasn't going to make it." he rubs one of the babies gently and saw it stretch from being touched. "We wont be anything like our fathers." he stated with spite in his voice. He felt Oscar put his arm around him and pull closer, he was staring at their babies for a moment. "Honestly... I was afraid you hated me.." he stated feeling his jaw quivering as he choked up. "I ... I'm sorry." he started crying more, the emotion causing the babies to move more and react. He was faintly gasping as he sobbed, wiping at his face more. "I am so sorry... I hic I promised you I'd never hurt you, b-but then I .. I went and - and made you l-live through your nightmare." he wipes at his face, still emotional of course. "I am so s-sorry I - sobs p-put you through tha-a-at." he gasps his body shaking from his hard crying. "Y-you must of been so sc-scared."  Monty wasn't even sure why he was hysteric, but it had been on his mind the whole time. Being pregnant wasn't anyone's fault, it was just what happened. He sniffles as he tried to calm himself down, wiping his face and nose. "Y-you did a good job of taking care of me, so you'll do a great job taking care of them." he huffed trying to catch his breath. "A-and you are allowed to - suck them whenever you want b-but you gotta leave some for the babies."

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Oscar was startled by the sudden change and sobbing, looking down at him in confused concern. He rubbed montys shoulder, hugging him with the arm he had around him "oh sweetheart, ya didnt make me do anything. I'm a big boy, I make my own decisions." Though heavily influenced by others. But he didnt blame monty. Sure, he didnt really want it, but he didnt want to get rid of it enough to actually do it either. "I could never hate ya. There was always that little voice in the back saying 'that's gonna be a cute as shit baby' what with my gorgeous looks and your unfathomable beauty. How could I deny the world somethin that'll turn out that amazing? And me? Scared? Never baby, I'm too tough and manly for that." He was joking, removing his arm from around monty to flex his arms in a pose. He was already feeling better now that there wasn't a tiny being inside of him. A lot better. He lifted montys chin to pepper kisses to his cheek, stopping at his mouth for a more drawn out one. Kisses always made him feel better, so hopefully theyd help monty too.

Pocket Butter

Monty sniffles and cries a little as he tried to calm down, listening to Oscar and sort of giggling when he flexed. He was glad Oscar was feeling better he kissed him back, the longer one made him feel better as well and he leaned into it. "I love you babe." Monty said giving another peck to his chin. Then being careful of the sleeping babies he leaned against Oscar and nuzzled into him. "Twins..." he mumbles under his breath, he still couldn't believe he had two babies, and they were with someone he loved dearly. He took Oscar's hand and laced their fingers together while he snuggled with him, the babies tucked up close to him.

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar seemed to get uncomfortable, tensing  with the mention of the babies again, but he put his arm back around monty and laid back in the bed closing his eyes, still tired. He wasnt sure this domestic lifestyle was going to fit him well or that he even wanted it. But he didnt want to be like his dad either, who chose to leave them behind in favor of his rock band or whatever the fuck. It's not like he didnt want kids, he just.. didnt want to give up his current lifestyle either. He didnt want to be some boring soccer dad. He didnt want to give up his not-so-kid-friendly things. He rubbed his thumb against montys hand laced with his. Leaving was never a considered option, because he never wanted to be without monty. Even if he didnt want to be tame and domestic, he supposed if that's what monty wanted, hed go along with it. Hed do anything for him. Even if He hadnt gotten up to gall to hold or touch his newborns yet. But it's not like he had to, right? It wasnt a rushed thing. It's not like theyd combust if he didnt hold them. They wouldnt even remember today. It was unlikely theyd remember anything of their first 2 years. Hopefully theyd never know what a weak coward of a father he was.  His grip had tightened slightly on montys hand and he quickly loosened it when he realized, trying to relax in this uncomfortable building. He shifted on the bed so he was on his side, pulling monty close to snuggle, he felt a slickness between his legs. Whether is was regular slick or blood, he wasnt sure, but he 100% didnt care. Who knew being in a hospital killed his libido? Well, maybe not killed, but certainly dulled. Then again, that couldve been the drugs too. He was effectively ignoring the bundled babies between them too. He needed time.

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Monty had known it was hard for Oscar to give up his free lifestyle, though no one said he had to. After all it was his choice to do what he wanted, just because he was married and a father now didn't mean he was tied down. Monty didn't care, just as long as he didn't leave. Oscar didn't have to be a dad if he didn't want to be, Monty knew it was hard on him as it was. And through the years they had been through a lot, Monty wasn't going to force him to change or do anything he didn't want to. He laid his head against Oscar's shoulder and cuddled with him feeling him squeezing his hand. Was he regretting settling and having a family with him? Was that truly even something Oscar wanted? Monty tried pushing the thoughts from his mind. "Uoh god-" he shifts and gets up from the bed as quickly as he could without tussling the babies too much and went into the bathroom. He started throwing up, and when his stomach was empty he dry heaved. There was a knock on the door and after a moment the door opened and Atlas walked in, a nervous smile on his face. "Hey, sorry to barge in wanted ta stop by an sees how yous guys were doin'." he noticed Monty wasn't there, "Eh, did I come at a bad time? I can come back some otha' time." Monty came out of the bathroom wiping his mouth, "No.. youre fine." he went over to the bed and put the twins into the cradles then sat on the edge of the bed. Sweat collecting around his skull. Atlas walked over to him "Are yas doin okay there Monty?" he asked concerned. Monty didn't answer him, he looked like he was going to be sick again, before dry heaving. Atlas put a trash bin in front of him.

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Oscar sat up painfully quick when monty rushed off, almost following before he seen he was going to the bathroom to barf. he stayed put, listening silently. there wasnt anything he could really do to help and in the back of his mind a little voice whispered he's sick of you. everyone can smell your weakness. he stared blankly down at the babies until atlas walked in, to which he also looked blankly at for a moment before shrugging to the question, unsure what to answer.  he watched monty come out and move the babies, and he scooted ever so slightly toward the edge of the bed when monty sat down before pausing in his action and instead shifting to rub montys back. if he left now, said he wanted to grab something, like coffee, and just left the building, would anyone really notice? no, it wasnt a smart or logical thought, and he didnt want to leave monty, but the growing uncomfortableness of being here was starting to seep in.  every little aspect was becoming a prominent thorn in his side. the voices in the halls, the needle in his arm, the minimal clothing, the smell of the hospital, monty sick of him(whether or not it was true), all stacking up like bricks on his chest. he stayed quiet, breathing slow and calculated, doing what he could to alleviate montys discomfort by rubbing his back.

Pocket Butter

Monty felt Oscar rubbing his back and looked at Atlas "I want to go home.. I want to go home with Oscar and sleep in my own bed." he stated. "I know sweetheart, but ya guys gotta stay a lil longer just to make sure yous okay." Atlast said frowning. Then he got up and looked into the cradles at the babies, it was just like him and Monty all over again. He turned and smiled at them. "Ey, I got an idea. I can pull a favor in for tha doc yea? I'll be right back." Atlas left the room leaving the two alone again. Monty sighed shaking a little as he caught his breath, trying not to dry heave again. He looked to Oscar, they both looked pretty beat. "We will go home soon okay babe? I promise." he puts his hand on Oscar's chest, "We can sleep in our own bed, and binge watch movies, and eat good food." Altas came back in with paperwork which he had filed out and hands to Monty and Oscar smiling. "Here, got ya a get outta' "jail" free card." he chuckled pleased with himself. "Jus sign here an here, and yous guys can go home." Monty looked at it where he and Oscar needed to sign, then looked at Atlas. "Don't we-." before he could finish Atlas added. "Yous guys just need a lot of bed rest, James can come an check on yas, and me an the wife can help care for tha babies until ya good enough for it too." he rubs his neck "I .. uh .. hears takin care of twins is a handful." he looked at them. "I uh mean, only if ya want to." Monty was looking at the papers, he knew Oscar hated hospitals and staying here longer wasn't in his to-do list. He looks over at the twins for a moment, "Actually... I .. I'm going to stay here. Could you take Oscar home maybe? I just want to make sure the twins are okay before I really take them out of here."

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oscar reacted with a weak tail thump at the touch to his chest, but when atlas returned with the news, his expression slowly morphed into a dark frown. by the end of it, he ended up snapping loudly with a growl to his voice "i dont need a damn release form, i can leave whenever i want!" he bared his teeth for a moment, before turning to face the window, knowing the outburst was completely uncalled for, but god damn it, this entire thing was bullshit. they drugged him, he should kill them. he shook his head, knowing that too was completely uncalled for to think. they were just trying to help. he stood up, grabbing his clothes from the duffle bag and quickly changing right there in front of them, where there was obvious blood still slowly leaking from between his legs, along with ripping the iv from his arm. he turned, walking briskly, pausing at the door. he didnt want to make monty upset by just storming out. he turned, quickly giving a kiss to montys cheek "ill see ya later." he gently took the papers from montys hand before crumpling them and tossing them to the floor, shooting a glare at atlas, again knowing it was uncalled for, but he was pissed and atlas happened to be the only other person in the room he could be pissed at. he left, to which was noticed by a couple nurses who tried to stop him, but a glare and growl was a clear sign to keep their distance, and by the time they called security to go to the exits and stop him, he'd somehow slipped from the building from an unknown exit. maybe it was from oscar yelling earlier, but the smaller baby started crying for the first time.

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Both Monty and Atlas were startled by the outburst, and Atlas automatically put his arms around Monty. "Sorry-" was all he could utter out. He watched him kiss Monty before leaving, then looked to his brother after the door slowly closed his soul pounding. Atlas heard the other baby crying and looked over at it, then being careful took it out of the crib. "Guess it doesn't like that its ...daddy left." he said and handed them to Monty who appeared to be in shock. Atlas took out the other baby and held it as he sat next to Monty "Hey, its gonna be okay ya? He'd come back .. I think, jus' needs to blow off some steam." Monty didn't say anything he just held the tiny baby against him, shaking. Monty felt tears brimming his eyes before rolling down his cheeks, startled Atlas put the baby on the bed between him and Monty before taking the smaller baby. "Hey- hey its okay .. don't cry, everythings gonna be okay. I didn't mean ta make him upset.. .I was .. I was just tryin ta ... sorry I suppose'n I shoulda just. .minded my own.." he sighed, looking down at the smaller baby. "Its just like yous ya know?" he gently touches the baby's face. "Ma an pa said yous tha smaller one between us. Still am I guess." he looked up at Monty who walked over to the bathroom,  "Monty? Yous -..." before he could say anything further the door shut and he heard a click. Atlas got up in a mild panic, putting the twins back in the cribs then went over to the door. "H-hey buddy ya aint gotta lock tha door, come on its okay uh ... " Atlas wracked his brain, how was he going to convince his brother to come out? Especially when he didn't want to. Even Atlas started to choke up, "Please .. ya aint gotta listen ta me. .but .. come on tha babies need ya don't lock yerself in." he said leaning on the door. "Ya was so excited ta becomin' a dad..I can't leave I don't want tha babbies to be out here by themselves. Come on Monty, open tha door."

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oscar quickly made his way to his parked car, unlocking and hopping in it, he started it and pulled out fast, making a skid sound as he sped away. he had no idea where to go, his house was empty and lonely. but he also felt like no one would want to be bothered by him. sal would only fret and worry. he was just a burden to everyone, he knew that especially after how monty had to make up whatever he could to get him to listen. he was a child that monty felt he had to babysit. he parked the car eventually in some empty parking lot and put his head on the steering wheel to try thinking of what to do while trying not to cry. if he went home, he risked his parents or sal coming to scold him. like the child you are. he'd pick somewhere else to stay for now, somewhere they wouldnt find him. the baby quieted when it was picked up, but after being sat down again it started wailing pitifully, tiny lungs not making as loud of a cry as most other newborns.

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Hearing his twin crying the bigger baby cried too, he couldn't find where the other was so he couldn't comfort him. Atlas struggled trying to coax and convince Monty to come out of the bathroom half begging him, explaining the babies needed him and that he didn't mean to make Oscar leave. Monty didnt answer he didnt even open the door. Altas tried not to panic and went back over to the babies, what was he going to do? He couldn't care for them, he didn't have what the babies needed. He tensed up, then went over to the door and shouted "Come out of there!!! Don't be tha way da was!! Don't be a selfish asshole! Tha babbies need yous!" he panted at his outburst. Still nothing, he put his head against the door. "Look .. I know yer hurtin', but .. right now, tha babbies are important. They need ya." He waited quietly, hoping, hoping that ,that would of convinced his twin to come out.  "Ya not like dis Montague," he left the door and went over to the twins taking them both out carefully. He held them in his arms and rocked them trying to sooth the babies. "When ya grows up, ya can both hate me for chasin off yer daddies..." he sighed. The bigger of the two clung onto Atlas, he felt and almost smelt like Monty to him. It was familiar, so he calmed down. Atlas sighed rocking them, before he softly sang, a lullaby his mum used to sing to him.

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oscar would be driving for a while before he'd stop at a hotel and get a room to sleep in, feeling incredibly tired, especially due to the blood loss he didnt get to fully recover from and still slowly leaking out of him. he crawled under the covers, ignoring his bloodied pants and falling into an uncomfortable sleep. the smaller baby didnt quiet right away, having gotten worked up, but being weak, it didnt take more a couple minutes of crying before it got tuckered out and stopped, unable to keep up the energy of crying. though with the commotion, a nurse wouldve heard and come to check on them.

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Atlas was sitting there trying to calm his anxiety, he was a nervous wreck "Onna dem left an- an my brotha locked himself in tha bathroom. He ain't comin out, please doc can ya do something?" he asked worried as he held the twins. Monty still didn't come out of the bathroom, though when he heard the babies quiet down he came out after a moment. Saying nothing he walked over to them and took them from Atlas, then sits on the bed to feed them both. "Shh Papa is here..." he said softly, "I'm not goin anywhere." Atlas sighed softly looking at them. "I .. I'm gonna get on home-" "No." Monty cut him off, choking up "Please.. don't leave me here alone." he stated, begging. Atlas looked at him, then to his phone and texted Maude he was going to be staying awhile. He leans over and kisses Monty on the skull before covering him up with the blanket.

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jillie and oxana would have arrived by noon, asking what happened before sighing at the answer and somberly gushing over how cute the babies were. jillie would offer to sit and stay with monty for the night, if he wanted the company, while sal and oxana went to search for oscar(no luck). oscar eventually woke up late that night, ending up sleeping the entire day. he felt sick and in pain. he slowly got out of bed, wincing and groaning. shoulda stole the pain meds on his way out. he noticed the time and made the decision to go back to the hospital, not only to swipe some pain relief, but also to check in with monty. he didnt like leaving him there, but thats what rash decisions get you.

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Monty had half a mind to leave the hospital, Atlas had left a while after Jillie and Oxana showed up, apologizing again for something he didn't really have to be sorry for. Monty looked exhausted, and he didn't sleep at all. He stayed there with the twins, holding them and feeding them every few hours. He didn't even talk to Oscar's Moms either, he just stared down at the twins, exhausted. Monty did not respond to anyone in the room, he fought sleep for so long hoping Oscar would come back. Though all that came through the door were nurses, who repeatedly told him he needed to sleep, he ignored them. It wasn't until early in the morning when Monty could no longer stay awake that he gave in. He let Jillie take the babies from him, allowing exhaustion to overtake him and pass out. One of the nurses came back in to check on the babies to see how they were doing, she knew the smallest needed the intensive care even though it appeared to be doing alright. Worried the nurse explained that the baby needed its parent, after checking its vitals and giving it a bit of a supplement boost the nurse left.

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Jillie had taken care of the babies once monty finally passed out, she went with them to the nursery, or well, the smaller one. the healthier one they left in the cradle in montys room and just had a nurse nearby to listen out for crying. (they were probably worried to take it to the nursery since monty would get so protective) oscar had driven his pained ass back down to the hospital and first snagged some meds (more like stole). he injected a needle of a small dose in his arm, leaning against the wall in the closet he'd hid in to wait for it to kick in, which didnt take too long. oh, sweet relief. he still felt tired and sick, but at least he wasnt in as much pain. he shoved the vial in his pocket and trashed the needle before sneaking his way down the nearly empty halls. being 2am, there wasnt a ton of staff bustling around and most everyone was asleep. he slipped into montys room unnoticed, seeing monty was asleep. he didnt want to bother him, he looked tired. the bigger of the two babies was next to the bed still. the smaller no where in sight. which honestly was a relief to him. the sight of it made him uncomfortable with guilt. this one didnt though. he leaned over the cradle, putting a hand in to gently play with its tiny hand and couldnt help but smile at how small it was and even if it was the bigger one, he could only think 'how can you exist being so tiny?'

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Monty had dark rings under his eyes, he stayed asleep the whole time. He hadn't even heard Oscar come in or stir from his sleep. Though his head was filled with depressed thoughts and nightmares, so his sleep wasn't comfortable. The baby in the crib held Oscar's finger with one hand, with his legs tucked up Oscar could see his tiny tail. He yawned and stuck his tongue out his eyes still closed, babies slept a lot. One of the nurses had come in to check on Monty and the babies, and seeing Oscar there gave her a start, she gasped and dropped the things she was holding. Her eyes darted over to the bed seeing Monty was still asleep, but the sound startled the baby and he started crying.

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Oscar jumps at the sound, looking back at the nurse with a glare, he snaps at them "if ya know whats good for you, you wont say shit about me being here, got it?" he easily lifts the small baby into his arms, a little nervous to hold a newborn, but its not like he hadnt done it before with others kids.

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The nurse looked at him confused, before picking up the things she had. She said nothing to him then walked over to where Monty was and started hooking him up with an IV and to a monitor to keep track of his vitals. Since Monty rejected any of the food or drink he was offered since Oscar left he was dehydrated. The nurses didn't even get a chance to bring them food before hand either since they were still making sure the babies were stabilized. She then handed Oscar a feeding syringe that had a supplement the same thing given to the premature baby would be given to this one as well. Then she turned to the door, seeing that Oscar was watching her every move she put her finger against her lips, then walked out the door closing quietly behind her.

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Oscar did his best to feed the little bundle the syringe of whatever it was. he remembered when ozzi was little, theyd give her medicine, so maybe the baby was sick. was that his fault? it probably was. everything was his fault. he sat on the other side of the bed, they hadnt detached the beds, still leaving the two strapped together. he hadnt eaten either that day, having been sleeping the whole time. the only thing he’d done was grab a shower and new clothes before he left the hotel.

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The baby had taken the supplement though it was probably gross as he scrunched his face, and sort of stuck his tongue out like he was trying to spit it out even though he didn't know how to. Then the baby yawned when Oscar went to sit down near Monty. So far it was still dark outside, the sun was yet to come up. No one bothered them either, the baby was making tiny noises but didn't cry or fuss. Just in a way 'talking', he closed his little hands into fists and fell asleep after another yawn. His little tail nub wiggled before tucking up between his legs.

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oscar couldnt help but smile at how fucking cute this baby was, and as much as he wanted to bounce it around, he was pretty sure newborns didnt appreciate that kind of action and would have to wait a good month or two. he kissed the top of its head, snuggling it close to him and moving to lay back on the bed with them. he was pretty fucking hungry, so he sent a text for a delivery of food, not just for him but for monty too. he ordered breakfast, pancakes, eggs, bacon, biscuits and sausage gravy. he practically was drooling over the thought of food at this point, even while feeling sick, which was a really weird mixed feeling he didnt like.  he got up to set the baby back in the cradle so he could lay down and snuggle monty, trying to be careful not to wake him as he put his arm around him and pressed close behind him to wait until the food got there. except that he fell asleep, so the nurse left the delivered food on the tray table instead. jillie had come back to see him there, and instead of waking him up to scold him, decided 'at least he came back and we know where he is now' so she left them be and got a hotel nearby to sleep in with oxana.

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Monty had only slept for a while, his dreams kept waking him up. At one point he woke up gasping, and didn't know where he was. He saw Oscar's form there but it didn't register he was actually there, Monty sobbed a little before getting up to go to the bathroom. Thats when he noticed one of the babies was gone, well all hell broke lose at that point. He ripped the iv out of his arm, and took the remaining baby out of the crib before leaving the hospital room with him. He was delirious from lack of proper sleep, going around and asking and demanding for his baby. The nurses tried to keep him calm but he fought them back, "No! I lost my husband I don't want to lose my babies give them to me!" he shouted. One nurse had a hold of the baby to keep it from getting hurt, while others tried to hold Monty down. Then a doctor came up and stuck Monty with a sedative to get him to calm down. It worked almost instantly and he collapsed, sobbing and begging for them to give him his babies before passing out. The nurse took to the baby to the nursery where others were. The twin though was probably back in intensive care.

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Oscar had woken with the movement, but apparently monty was completely out of it and didnt even recognize him when he tried to calm him. he didnt put up much of a fight when they sedated him. what was he supposed to do? monty wasnt even recognizing him. or maybe he just didnt want to. maybe he's purposely ignoring you. sure, not the most logical thought for the situation, but he was in a pretty deep well of self hatred after the whole baby thing, and it seemed no matter what he did to try to do good, it just failed miserably. after he watched them lay monty back in bed, he wasnt sure whether or not he should stay or leave again. before he could skip out, jillie had come back and caught him, insisting he let her hook him up to an iv. he listened, but sat outside in one of the chairs in the hall with her instead of the room with monty, also ignoring the delivered food. he wasnt hungry anymore.

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It was rough for all of them, the baby wouldnt stop crying in the nursery though no matter what the nurses did. They held him, changed him, tried to feed him, nothing helped, he just screamed and screamed. The nurse who had stopped by previously took the baby from the nurse in the nursery and walked up the hall to where Jillie and Oscar were sitting, then carefully laid him in Oscar's arms. "He wants to be with you." was all she said before turning away and going back. She was right, as soon as the baby was put into Oscar's arms he stopped crying and made little worried noises before calming down and resting against him. His tiny hand grabbing a fistful of Oscar's shirt.

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oscar almost cried when he was handed the baby and it stopped crying. this tiny thing didnt know how much of a complete fuck up he was. more people were starting to roam the halls now, so he moved back into the room, but sat in the corner next to the window instead of on the bed. he felt guilty and useless, but he couldnt really leave now that his mom was guarding the door. well, he could if he pushed her out of the way when she tried blocking his path, but he really didnt want to push her. so instead he chose to sit with the baby, legs up on the couch and wait for a chance to leave unnoticed. which might not happen since it looked like jillie would be trading places with oxana to watch over the room. he stared down at the baby, talking quietly "youre gonna be awful disappointed in me when youre older. hopefully i wont fuck you up as much as my mom did to me.." but the only reason she fucked him up was because he was with her for a few years.  if he'd never known her, he wouldve been better off. what if theyre better off without me too? he did his best not to cry at that thought, because that meant leaving, like, leaving leaving. what if thats why his dad left? what if he knew he'd make everything worse? he scrunched his legs up so he was more huddled on the couch, even if the position hurt his stomach.

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The baby stayed comfortable in his arms not letting go of his shirt as he moved to sit down. Monty was still out cold because of the sedative, and rehooked up to the monitor and iv. But he really needed the sleep, he was desperate and delirious and even when Oscar tried to calm him down he kept fighting through it not exactly hearing him. The baby in Oscar's arms listened to him talking, making little noises again before for the first time since birth opening his eyes. It took him a little to get used to the brightness of the room before looking up at Oscar, and he even smiled. The baby let go of his shirt and brought both of his hands up towards Oscar's face cooing.

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Oscar leaned closer to let the baby touch his face, as cute as it was being, he wasnt thinking very highly of himself at the moment and didnt respond more then talking quietly about how much of a horrible person he was and how hed be a terrible father and theyd grow up to hate him the way he hates his birth parents. Not that the baby would understand anything other than the sound of a familiar voice. Eventually, probably around noon, jillie and oxana would walk in and announce it was time to go home. Oscar wouldnt question it, glad to leave(sorry atlas, he didnt like being told he had to have permission from doctors to leave) Theyd rented a van and put car seats in it for the babys, already having put everything theyd needed, including iv bags, meds and poles, in the trunk.(though unlike oscar, they paid for it).  Jillie gently rubbed montys shoulder in attempt to wake him up, already having a couple nurses carry the babies out to the car with oxana. Oscar stood near the door, waiting with the wheelchair for monty. He was meant to be sitting in one too, but he had aggressively refused to the point jillie gave up trying.

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Monty didnt know what was going on at first, he had slept for a long time and when his shoulder was touched he whimpered and muttered something about losing everything and to leave him alone. One of the nurses that was there told Monty he was going home and using a smelling salt to wake him up more. After a bit of adjustment he sits up on the bed and rubs his face, he felt sick everything seemed to of gone all wrong in a matter of moments. The smell of food hit him like a ton of bricks and he realized how hungry he was. Though at the moment he saw everyone standing in the doorway with a wheelchair ready and packed up to leave. He couldn't entirely remember much of what happened before and figured it was a bad dream. Though the memory of Oscar actually leaving had stuck in his mind, he felt a little guilty seeing him standing there. And first thing he wanted to do was apologize to Oscar for "making him come back." But the words stuck in his throat. When they got out to the car and everyone was buckled in Monty let out a tired sigh and leaned into Oscar, they were going home where they'd be able to relax and put the anxious feelings behind them. Hopefully. Nervously Monty held Oscar's hand hoping he wasn't upset with him, neither of them liked hospitals and the whole situation itself made them both uncomfortable. By the time they got back to their home though, Monty just wanted to sleep. Both he and Oscar needed the rest, physically and emotionally drained. Monty didn't let go of his hand as he went inside and took him to their room to lay down and recuperate.

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oscar had left the food he’d ordered at the hospital, no longer wanting it. he was pretty sure monty hated him now, until monty actually held his hand. he immediately shifted closer to monty with the small gesture, leaning over him to snuggle on the ride home. oxana had ordered more food, seeing that oscar let his go cold and untouched, picking it up on the way home. she handed oscar the bag with a short "monty hasnt eaten." knowing that would spark oscar to attempt making him eat and hopefully the other way around too, counting on them trying to take care of each other. though she wasnt entirely sure if it would work, it was a softer approach than jillies was.  jillie and oxana would go get the babies and take care of them while their parents rested. oscar sat the bag of food on the nightstand, staying silent for a moment before tugging monty into his lap, back to his chest and kissing his neck, not wanting to seem forceful since he knew he had been doing a lot of aggressive yelling the past couple days "do.. you wanna eat? i mean, ya should.. its uh, good to eat.." smooth

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Monty had changed into something more comfortable to sleep in, his body ached and his stitches were still raw. His breasts hurt from being swollen and full of milk, he was about to get comfortable on the bed when Oscar pulled him onto his lap and suggested food. At first Monty wasn't sure if he was hungry though his stomach reminded him to eat. So he utters a soft "Only if you will.." as he leaned back against him. He was tired and all that was on his mind at the moment was sleep. He didnt ask about the babies or bring up the hospital or anything, when he was given food he tore off pieces of it and ate some. Unfortunately the food didn't entirely agree with his stressed out body. And he was also crying while he ate, so he was partially choking on the food while trying to keep it down.

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oscar had set one of the takeout boxes of breakfast foods in front of them to eat, doing as monty wanted and eating too, and once he started, he honestly wanted to shove it all down his throat, but he restrained himself, especially since monty seemed upset and he didnt want to seem rude or uncaring for woofing down the food while his partner cried. instead he started kissing his neck and rubbing his shoulders and apologizing profusely, for anything and everything he mightve done to upset him in the last two days.

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Monty sniffled as he ate trying to calm down as Oscar attempted to sooth him and apologize. He finished the bite he had in his mouth before turning and kissing Oscar on the mouth long and hard. Monty cups the side of his face pressing into him while he kissed him, he knew kissing was a way of strengthening or reconnecting a bond. He broke the kiss after a while "I'm sorry too..." he said softly before settling back on his lap and continuing to eat. He hadn't realized how hungry he really was, he also half wondered if there was enough there for the both of them. Monty picks up a pancake ball, dips it into syrup and holds it up to Oscar's mouth to eat it.

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oscars tail thumped the bed and he kissed back eagerly, not entirely thrilled when monty pulled away, but he supposed eating was a higher priority at the moment. luckily for monty, there were 3 other boxes of food in the bag, because oxana knew her boy could eat a lot if he felt like it. oscar happily took a bite, offering monty food too with the little plastic spoon that came in the boxes, not taking long before he had to grab a second box. the kiss cheered him up like magic, and now he felt like he could really chow down, mumbling through a bite "fuck this is almost as good as sex." almost.

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Monty also ate what Oscar offered, and ate until he was full and not more, he didn't want to be losing all of it especially after how hungry he had been. To help settle his stomach he laid back on the bed trying to relax but his body ached all over still and he was still emotional too. He didnt have a reason why he was crying except he was tired, he had laid his legs over Oscar's lap. "Hey baby," he said clearing his throat. "Can we take a hot bath? I kinda want to soak..." he hoped the idea of soaking in the tub would help them both feel better, especially since they didnt wash up since giving birth, well.. Monty didnt.

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oscar quickly downed what was left, plus a third box. licking his fingers like the messy boy he is and tossing the trays onto the nightstand, nodding "anything you want, baby." he was pretty sure his mom would be coming in any minute to try sticking them with iv bags, so anything he could do to avoid that was a fantastic idea. he got up, not in a ton of pain since he would take a shot of the painkillers he stole whenever it started feeling worse, and offered to help monty down, even if there were little stairs for him to use.

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Monty let Oscar finish eating before getting off the bed wincing, he held Oscar's hand as he got down then went over to the bathroom. The tub was so much bigger then it was at their previous home, as if that was even possible. Basically it was no longer a tub but a jacuzzi, with jets and everything. Monty sort of felt intimidated by the massive tub but climbed in anyway after stripping off his clothes. He filled the tub with warm to almost hot water and attempted to relax, looking at Oscar "You okay babe..?"

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar hesitated a little, still uncomfortable with his slightly less masculine form, even if it wasnt that different, along with that he kept bleeding, though thankfully less than before. He didnt want to get the water bloody or gross Monty out. He shrugged in response, embarrassed "you mind if I'm a little.. bloody?"

Pocket Butter

Monty actually laughed, and it was a good laugh, but it wasn't at Oscar, more of the question he asked. "Mind it babe? Obviously not, I mean when I was on my period that one time you practically fucked me in the bathtub so .. no babe I dont mind at all if you are a little bloody." Monty smiled and held his hand out to him. "Come here handsome." he said, its been a good while since the two were naked together, even if Oscar didn't have the 'parts' he wanted.

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar grinned, glad to hear him laugh, he stripped off what little he had left on to get in the tub behind monty, pulling him into his lap again and once again peppering kisses wherever he could reach, lathering up a sponge to gently wash his little man and even bringing up the babies on his own. Or well, one of them "how long till we have to wash Shiloh? Do they even get dirty, they dont do anything."

Pocket Butter

Monty looked up at him, then down again trying to think "They do get dirty, and should be wiped clean carefully." he stated leaning back against Oscar, feeling his body behind him sent shivers up his spine. He let Oscar wash him up, smiling softly as he was no longer the only one with the tiniest hands and feet. Though he said nothing, just leaning into Oscar more, he then tilts his head back and pulls Oscar's head downward for an upside down kiss.

CiggaretteQueef

oscars tail wags between his legs, kissing back eagerly again. no belt, no worries. even if they both had stitches. he slipped his hands down montys sides,and then rubbing his thighs upward, when he was interrupted with a knock on the door. he paused for a couple seconds, before ignoring it, hand moving to montys pussy- and again, knocking. he stopped kissing him and huffed "we're takin a bath!" jillies voice answered back "baths arent good for your stitches! i taught you this! get out of there! now!" she sounded very adamant. he frowned and looked down at monty "wanna ignore her? she.. probably wont kick the door down."

Pocket Butter

Monty shifted almost tense but he opened his legs when Oscar touched him, feeling an excited rile in his body. But the knocking killed it, "We should listen." he said and got out of the tub, so much for a soak to help him feel better. He wraps in a towel handing one to Oscar before opening the door. "Sorry Mama.." he stated passing her and going to lay down on the bed, letting out a pained groan before stretching out. Why did everything hurt. A portion of his mind was on Oscar and touching him again, but he didn't want his husband to hurt or worse end up back in the hospital with more complications.

CiggaretteQueef

jillie smiled at monty, clapping her hands. clearly the nickname had buttered her up easily. oscar on the other hand, stuck out his tongue childishly at her as he walked by. she rolled her eyes and quickly bounced around, getting poles set up, to which oscar immediately pointed out "pretty sure we don't need those anymore, we're both eatin and walkin."  she continued setting everything up anyways "yes, but you know what happens if you get extra? you heal better, faster. at least use these for just today, and tonight you can sleep without them. thats not long at all, sweetheart, its already past noon." oscar only groans, laying on the bed with only a towel wrapped around his waist, letting jillie hook him up to the iv. she then hopped over to monty, though she paused to ask him if it was ok first, along with offering him a pain pill that the doctor prescribed. she offered oscar one too, but oscar just dug the pain med vial out of his pants pocket and shook it before setting it on the nightstand. she huffed "i cant believe you, do you even know which kind you took, or the dosage?" he grinned and shrugged "nope, but it worked pretty damn fine."

Pocket Butter

Tensing up slightly Monty looked at her as she got the needle to hook him back up to the iv, let let out a shaky breath. "Okay..." he said softly, then looked at Oscar when he stated he didnt care to look at what drug he grabbed. "Oscar...what if ... " he sighed shaking his head, nevermind hes an adult he can do what he wants right? Monty didn't want him getting hurt, he looked away "Can't Mama just take care of you? She knows what she is doing, I don't want you getting sicker." he stated then took the pill she gave him before settling back on the bed still in just the towel. And she was right the stitches had been irritated from the water so now it was all pink and puffy.

CiggaretteQueef

jillie finished with taping montys iv in place and then went back to oscar to clean and bandage his wound, which oscar started to protest, before stopping and letting her, due to montys words. he frowned, looking at monty "i.. am lettin her, but i know what im doin too. im not a kid, and ive been livin plenty of years by myself. i was jus kiddin, i know what i grabbed, its not like id inject somethin random." well, he mostly knew what he grabbed. he recognized the name as something he'd taken before.  jillie grabbed and kissed oscars cheek "you are my smart little boy, but im the one who practiced nursing sweetie." he pouted as she checked the vial before leaving it there, deeming it safe enough. having oscars stitches slathered in antibiotic and bandaged, she moved on to montys, politely asking again first. oscar was looking down, a little miffed that monty was on his moms side, he thinks youre an idiot now. he argued back in his head, he always did, whats the difference? he rolls over on his side, facing monty and tentatively putting a hand out, forcing his cocky attitude with a wink "i promise i know what im doin babe, even if i fuck up.. sometimes." all the time.

Pocket Butter

"I just don't want you getting sick babe, thats all I'm sorry." Monty said worriedly, he took Oscar's hand in his and laced his fingers together with his. Waiting until Jillie finished before snuggling closer to Oscar. "I like this better any how, with the two of us." he mumbles something then kissed him again, before laying his head under Oscar's chin. "I know you know what you're doing, sorry for bein a worrywart." he said "I just care...maybe a little too much an that its annoyin." Monty squeezes his hand. "But I want you to know I care." he then scoots into the bed more and under the blanket. The tiredness was starting to once more sink into him and all he wanted to do was sleep. But he pauses and sits up, taking something out of the bag, a little shyly "Sorry, excuse me. Can you please step out for a moment?" he asked Jillie, hoping she would comply before embarrassingly putting a breast pump against his chest. He'd get enough milk for both babies in bottles -and extra, then handed them to Jillie when he finished. "Thank you.." he said smiling a little nervously before climbing back onto the bed with Oscar.

CiggaretteQueef

jillie listened, figuring what he was doing, when she came back in, she looked at oscar, a little worriedly "and what about you dear? you know it'd be helpful if you contributed to feed them.." oscar tensed, playing with montys fingers and stayed quiet for a moment before answering "maybe later.." she frowned, knowing it might not be long before it dried up, but there were plenty of babies who did just fine on only formula, so it wasnt the end all if he didnt help.  but, she also wanted these babies to be as healthy as possible. "how about, i let you get some rest and then you do a little pumping? maybe in the bathroom? please?" he wouldnt meet her eyes and shrugged before grinning wide "yeah, i can do some 'pumpin', cant guarantee its what youre wantin tho." she made an exasperated noise "dont talk like that! ugh, get some rest, mister. you too monty." she actually walked over and tucked monty and oscar in, giving them both a smooch on the forehead. oscar was not thrilled with the baby treatment, but didnt complain, turning over and mussing up the tucking she did on his side to snuggle with monty.

Pocket Butter

Monty wiped himself off with the towel since the two were still basically naked under the blanket and towels. Being snuggled with after they were tucked in Monty cuddles against the front of Oscar "Night Mama." he said then closes his eyes. But... he wasn't really about to sleep, because when Jillie left, he took Oscar's hand and placed it between his thighs. "Please... touch me." he whispered blushing. He hadn't had contact in so long and he really wanted it. Even if he knew how much Oscar disliked his parts and the fact he couldn't knot and fill Monty until they were healed. Just touching would do them both a world of good - maybe. Monty did that that notion in the back of his head that if they werent careful Oscar could be hospitalized.

CiggaretteQueef

oscar was surprised to have his hand moved, but he was definitely game, tail thumping the bed in excitement, doing as monty asked, being gentle and thorough with the touches before he slid his fingers in, tilting montys chin up to kiss him while he pumped the soft wet flesh. as tempted as he was to make a dick and fuck monty, he wasnt sure that was the best idea with stitches and the image of montys stomach ripping open and spilling guts wasnt a huge turn on to him. he'd hold off. for the moment. honestly, he was pretty excited that he didnt have to wait 2 more months to fuck, only like, a week tops now. his free hand slipped below the covers to touch himself at the same time, getting more excited by the thought and montys smell.

Pocket Butter

Monty instantly let out a moan, though kept his voice down so it was half muffled. He kissed Oscar back moaning softly against his mouth, he became wet quickly, and his body aroused. The sweet faint smell of cotton candy filled their senses. Monty shyly teases one of his breasts while his husband touched between his legs, rocking his hips against the hand there for more friction. Murmuring praises and sweet nothings to Oscar and kissing him more feeling rather heated. He hoped Oscar wouldn't bleed more or hurt if he orgasmed, though this time there wasn't really anything inside of him to lose if he did. But healing would take even longer and he'd be bedridden. Monty presses against him half out of breath bringing his arm up to hook it around Oscar's neck, keeping his back pressed against his chest. He could feel Oscar touching himself behind him, causing him to shudder more.

CiggaretteQueef

he slipped in a third finger, keeping matched rhythm with his hands in both of them, groaning and sloppily kissing down his jaw to suck on montys neck, mumbling about how good he smelled and sounded, grazing his teeth against him lightly, keeping his control easier this time around.

Pocket Butter

Monty was in heaven blissed out from feeling Oscar touching him and enjoying himself as well. He kissed in return each that was given to him, and kept moving. He hoped Oscar was okay with that and not pulling the iv out at the same time, he knew Jillie would be upset if he did. Monty even idly glanced at the iv in his arm too. Though in moments his mind blanked "B-babe!!" he kissed Oscar hard on the mouth and came, his legs shaking.

CiggaretteQueef

oscar was paying no attention to his iv, but thankfully it was long and not getting tugged. he felt monty tighten over his fingers, pushing them deep and rubbing his clit with his thumb. after that, he slipped his fingers out of monty and to his mouth, loving the taste and turning to lay on his back as he continued finger fucking himself and moaning around his fingers as he got close.

Pocket Butter

Watching him Monty shifts getting up slightly before laying between his legs, knowing Oscar was still bloody and at the same time not caring. He ate his husband out to help him get close, flicking his tongue against Oscars clit before pressing it in, he squeezed his thighs moaning against him. Even looking up to see his lover's face, hoping Oscar was enjoying it. After all Monty wanted to pleasure him too.

CiggaretteQueef

oscar willingly let monty take over, though it wouldnt last long, he made a final groan around the fingers in his mouth and bucked his hips up as he came, relaxing after a moment, drooling and dripping. "hot damn-" and unfortunately for monty, there was a bit of blood, though nothing tore, so that was a plus. enjoy that taste, little man.

Pocket Butter

Monty pulled back his face wet from both fluids, though it wasnt exactly getting his wings. He wipes his mouth panting, then crawls up to snuggle Oscar cuddling like a leech. He kissed Oscar's neck and chin, feeling rather content and blissed out. "Was that good babe? I bet you liked being able to get off finally." he murmurs giving him another kiss.

CiggaretteQueef

oscar made a pleased hum in response, wrapping his arms around him, tail thumping the bed again in bliss "so good, baby, so good.." he kissed monty, sighing in content "we have a lotta catchin up to do sweetheart. hope youre prepared." he grins, rubbing montys ass, clearly happy he could fuck again without major consequence.

Pocket Butter

"Just gotta, take it slow for now though babe." Monty said feeling his stitches "We need to ... heal up first and if we are too fast we might undo whats been done." he looks at him smiling a little shyly "But when we are, you can pound me into the floor until I'm begging for more." he giggles.

CiggaretteQueef

"hell yeah i can." he turns on his side with monty, nuzzling him "i cant wait to get back to full mast and see your little tummy stretch with my cock. though i think ill miss how big you were too.. it came with a pretty big downside of no rough sex though." he paused, squinting "wait, actually, even the time i roughed ya up, you were pretty ok- er, other than the biting.."

Pocket Butter

Just thinking about getting stuffed with Oscar had Monty squirming, he hid his face against Oscar's chest. "Mmm babe.. don't talk about it.." he whined pressing against him "Youre gonna get me all horny .. like bad horny.." he pouted up at him. Though to ease his mind he was missing his babies already, a soft sigh escaped him and he felt a little lonely without them. After all he carried one for so long, he just quietly inched closer to Oscar. "I guess I miss all of it." he randomly said.

CiggaretteQueef

oscar chuckled, rubbing his back "sorry, babydoll." his grin dropped when montys mood seemed to change "hm, whats wrong? miss what? the pregnancy or the not being pregnant and my cock. wait, you dont need to answer the last one, of course you miss my cock." he was joking, trying to lighten the mood again.

Pocket Butter

He smiled softly as Oscar tried to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I do." he gives him a smooch. "But I'm sure you miss fucking me too and filling me to the brim." he stated, though he sits up looking at his hands and at his body for a moment. "I'm sorry... I guess.. I already miss holding them. Please don't be upset." he said looking at Oscar frowning a little. "I know a break from them was. . .is ? Important I guess... but." he swings his legs off the side of the bed. "I'm afraid I'm going to be restless without them."

CiggaretteQueef

oscar sat up too, seeming to gauge his own feelings for a moment with a slight frown, before giving monty a smile, "why would i be upset, cant blame ya, babies are pretty damn cute." he paused, glancing away "you want me to go get shiloh? you shouldnt be walkin." he wasnt really meaning to leave the smaller one out, he was still just trying to come to terms with it all, and accepting montys baby was a lot easier than accepting the one he almost killed. he didnt really wait for a response before standing up and pulling on a pair of boxers, leaving his chest out since he kinda forgot he had them, especially since they werent much bigger than normal, albeit softer and squishier.

Pocket Butter

Monty looked at him "Babe.. your iv." he pointed to the cord as it stretched from the pole. He faintly clenched his hand and took a breath. "Also... I would like both of them." he was gripping the bedcovers then stood up as well as he took the iv out of his arm and bandaged the spot. He pulls a bathrobe around himself and ties it, then took Oscar's hand "And, I am very well able to walk on my own thanks." he went out feeling a smidge guilty he wasn't in bed and sleeping like he should of been. He wondered if the twins were, he gave a faint smile to Jillie before seeing Shiloh wasn't asleep. He then looks over to see Ollie in his crib and carefully took him out, and with partial skill picked up Shiloh as well. "Hello my little handsome princes." he whispers giving them both a kiss.

CiggaretteQueef

he watched him leave, fighting the urge to follow, though it didnt last long, walking slowly after, grabbing the pole and wheeling it with him. he watched silently by the doorway, a little hurt monty didnt even want his help in retrieving them. as if he thought oscar was incapable. or maybe he didnt trust him because they were so small and fragile and he'd been so aggressive before? he looked away, deciding he'd just go back to his room and rest like he was told. jillie made a little frown at the sight of them still up, but she didnt comment. she couldnt really control them, as they were adults, and she didnt want to overstep her boundaries by attempting to do so. all she could do was give strong suggestions and hope they listen, which this time, didnt seem to work.

Pocket Butter

Monty brought Shiloh over to Oscar "Here," he said looking up at him and placing the baby in his arms. Then he went into their room and sat on the edge of the bed looking down at Ollie. He didnt understand why Oscar didn't want to acknowledge this baby, there wasn't anything wrong with him. So what if he was small, Monty is small too. Monty lays back on the bed waiting for Oscar to join him with Shiloh "I'm sorry I snapped.." he said softly as he pets Ollie's tiny head, "I just.. I mean.. " he lets out a stressed breath "Shiloh isn't the only baby." he uttered out.

CiggaretteQueef

he was surprised to be handed the baby, still feeling like monty wasnt happy with him, he silently followed, sitting on the bed next to him after a moment of hesitation, propping his knees up and laying shiloh against them, playing with his tiny hands. he didnt respond right away "..i know.." was all he responded, not sure what else to say, he shrugged, mumbling and looking away "i dunno.. they remind me of.." he trailed of, not finishing the sentence. he and wes never officially picked the name, but it was at the top of the list, and its what he always considered the lost babys name to be. even so, he didnt want to say it and he was sure monty didnt care to hear it anyways. "they make me feel.. bad. i shouldve taken better care of them.. " ollie stayed sound asleep, heavy sleeper baby.

Pocket Butter

"You did fine." Monty said making sure he was comfortable in his arms. "You weren't expecting to also be pregnant so it put a lot on you. But, hes fine hes just small.. I'm small." he stated holding one of Ollie's tiny hands. "If hes anything like you, he'll pull through. Hes strong, just like you, and hes beautiful, just like you." Monty said admiring the baby. He gently touches the dark patch on his face as he then leaned on Oscar putting his head on his shoulder. Shiloh was playing with Oscar's fingers then yawned, he was tired and was happy to be back with his dads. Shiloh just then noticed his sibling and stared at him for the longest moment before yawning again. Monty used his other hand to hold one of Oscar's "I love you, and I love our family too. I know it hurts to think about them, but this time.. this time its different. And ... you wont ever have to go through it again."

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar smiled a little at all the sly compliments, quiet as monty spoke and replying a short "I know.." to the last one. "Its just.. hard not to think about. Because they came out of me, I guess.." and I'm poison. He leaned closer to shiloh and stuck his tongue out at them for a moment to see their reaction before looking over at the smaller one. He felt a disconnection to them. He wasnt sure why, not knowing that was a common thing new parents often felt. Everyone always seemed so happy when they had a baby though, including monty. He looked away again "I'm sorry." He wasnt sure if he was apologizing to monty or the baby. Maybe both. He didnt want monty to be upset with him though. He shifted a little, picking Shiloh up and handing him to monty, hesitating a moment before picking up ollie and putting them where Shiloh used to be against his knees. The comparison of how much smaller they were seemed drastic. "..even smaller than I thought youd be.." he forced a smile, glancing at monty "guess most of it was just fat huh?"

Pocket Butter

Shiloh watched as Oscar stuck his tongue out at him, then stuck his own fist into his mouth. Once he was moved to Monty though he let go of his fist, and made faint noises. He also watched Oscar with Ollie, seeing the sad look on his dad's face. Monty held Shiloh as he leaned into Oscar's shoulder "You don't have to force yourself to love him you know, maybe .. in time you will." he said softly as he kissed Oscar's cheek. Monty adjusts sitting on his knees, he laid Shiloh down, gently moves Ollie and pulled Oscar's legs down before carefully sitting on his lap. Then he laid against him, picking up both babies and holding them in his arms since he and the twins were small enough to fit tucked against Oscar. Monty let out a soft sigh and nuzzled into him, listening to his soul beating softly in his chest. Feeling the same rhythm of his own soul.

CiggaretteQueef

he let monty do as he pleased, putting his arms arms around him when he settled, frowning "i never said i didnt love them.." he loved avis too, even if he hadnt wanted them, or more like, didnt want to carry them. he sighed, not sure how to describe what his problem was. he wasnt even sure what it was. " i.. didnt want my first one, at first anyways, but after what happened, i missed them a lot.. and i think about what it'd be like if i.. if i hadnt of let them die.. so i know i love them." he touched one of their tiny hands again, changing the subject, ollie only yawned in response "i was thinkin.. if its alright with you, id uh, id like to get one of those block things or whatever, for my uh, soul.. i just.. really dont wanna end up pregnant again, ya know?" he averted his gaze, worried montys reaction would be negative "i mean, obviously i dont do i great job of carryin anyways, so..no big deal, right?"

Pocket Butter

Monty heard Oscar and quietly listened, "I ... Im sorry I didn't mean it like that..." He kept listening to him, and about the idea of blocking his soul. Sure Oscar probably thought Monty would be cross with him, but he was quite the opposite. He sits up and kisses Oscar passionately on the mouth. "Okay babe, I'll go in with you when you get it done okay?" he said smiling softly as he cupped the side of his face. "Its your body, your choice, you can do whatever you want, and I will always stand by your side." he smiled "Through sickness and health, till death do we part." He gave him another kiss, slipping his tongue into Oscar's mouth. Pulling back after a moment, "You don't have to worry about any of that mess now, its okay and its all over. You don't have to go through it again I wont force you to." he lays back against him, "You'll be a great dad, and I'll help you."

CiggaretteQueef

oh, nothing could be better than the relief he felt with that answer. wes had been the opposite, wanting multiple kids and to carry none of them, leaving it all on oscar who also didnt want to carry them, but was too much of a pushover to outright say no, a very bad deal in oscars mind. his tail thumped the bed and he didnt let monty get away from kissing that easy, lifting his chin back up to make out with him longer, which was also the moment ollie decided to sneeze, startling oscar since he forgot they were there at that moment, and also because "shit, big sneeze for somthin so tiny."

Pocket Butter

Monty had been glad Oscar was happy, thats all he ever wanted, was for Oscar to be happy. He kissed him back smiling, and jumped when he jumped because Ollie sneezed. He looked down at the smaller twin that Shiloh was also slightly clinging onto, he too was startled from the sneeze of his brother. Monty smiled softly and just snuggled them, he was the happiest man on earth, though still a portion of him wondered if Oscar was too. And he looked up at him "Are you happy babe?" that was a loaded question. "You can be honest, don't be afraid to tell me how you feel just to appease me."

CiggaretteQueef

Oscar paused, thinking over the question since monty wanted an honest answer. he shrugged a little, grabbing montys ass "i feel pretty happy right now, so yeah." he laid his head back on the headboard "its good to be out of that place." and not have a tiny thing living inside him anymore.

Pocket Butter

That was good enough for Monty now, he smiled and gave him a smooch. Then kissed both of his twins nuzzling them, a soft sigh escaping. "Okay my little princes back to grama Jillie." he struggled a smidge to get off Oscar, and the bed before going out of the room, luckily he still had his robe on so he wasn't going out there completely naked. He laid them in the crib tucking them in and kissing them goodnight. Then went to Jillie, he knelt in front of her, and talked to her for a bit apologizing for getting up to see his babies instead of sleeping like she asked. He then put his arms around her gave her a hug and a goodnight kiss before going into the room again to cuddle up with Oscar.

[jesliey]

Character Design Questions that i really just wanted to do because they looked fun

Tagged By: No one. I do what I want.

Most of my characters started in D&D but ill list em all for context:

 Aliphos Gardwin, effectively ex-military Ranger from a what is now a frozen wasteland. Hes like a puppy in my eyes.

Anastasia Shepard, actual military. From my ME binge days. Probably the only one who’ll ever have an actual solid visual depiction

Alistair Shepard, twin brother to Ana. Technically not my character, but he punches things and hes such a dick i love it.

Unit 2038, mass produced celestial war machine with severely stunted emotional development. Had a REALLY long nap a while ago.

Firo Schwartzstein Avanezo, sleazy brat who likes to pickpocket and flirt. Closer inspection might catch a glimpse of some of that old money in his blood though.

Morgenstern, funny how dying from several impalement wounds makes a demonic deal for vengeance seem like a good idea. Might know Aliphos eventually im still pondering that...

Sacha Julian N’Doul, THE RICH PRETTYBOY IS JUST HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

THIS IS REALLY LONG SO UNDER THE CUT IT GOES!

Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

oh man i dont really use them as much as id want to...im not a great writer so i dont really do anything with any of them until something comes up like a d&d game for instance. Id still use all of them given the chance.

Aliphos is the one i can always fall back to though, ive had him the longest

Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

Im gonna go ahead and assume this means physically. Pretty sure its Unit...either Unit or Firo. Ones a robot, and the other doesnt age, but i dont exactly remember whos older...

Pretty sure its Unit

Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

There hasnt been a “realization” per se...

Each character ive made has been some kind of manifestation of what i was feeling creatively at the time, with the exception of Aliphos. Hes straight up my first character who i made not realizing how self-inserty he was all the way back in grade 9 of highschool.

Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?

See now this ones a bit more interesting because i didnt really have a side character until very recently. Sacha is a backup character for the wandering mess that is the party Morgenstern belongs to, and he acts as chief sponsor after they saved him from bandits. He isnt SUPPOSED to come into the spotlight of the adventure, but he will if Morgen becomes otherwise unavailable

Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

Well i mean “human” is very loosely defined here but yeah. These are characters i know and relate to best and im not a furry, so “human” it is!

ignoring the fact that only four of them are actual humans, and one of those four isnt even mine

When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

written concepts, easily. when im sitting down trying to make a new brain-child theres a list of questions that goes through my head to get a better idea of what im going for.

where did they come from? what is the most important thing that has happened to them this far? how do they react to waking up on just a regular day? what is the most common thing they feel both physically and mentally? how do they handle being in a group of other similarly skilled people?

i find that answering just these gives me a better idea of what im working with than trying to get a picture going before having at it

Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?

Im honestly having a hard time envisioning using Ana anywhere. shes a bit of an alcoholic downer, and she doesnt play well with others. Morgen doesnt either, but hes currently in use and even then i have to creatively stretch his personality quite a bit just to keep things rolling

i dont like the idea of just getting rid of characters though. a few of them have died. multiple times in some cases. continuities are a thing that doesnt really exist for me, but it is hard to find a scenario where those two in particular would click in well

Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

Aliphos is generally up-beat most of the time, and Firo and Sacha love a good time more than anything else. in general, theyre my more happy characters and i like holding onto that.

Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

Ana and Morgen are definitely some pretty negative characters at their cores. Morgen less so simply because i felt like i was in a bit of a creative rut and i wanted to try something new, but Anastasia came around back at the end of highschool during the Depression Years™ and it shows...

Morgens definitive characteristics are nonchalant detachment and disdain and anger, where Ana is a depressed alcoholic with a death complex. Theres nothing happy here.

Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?

The most interesting things i can do with my characters is something that i think is unexpected of myself. I had Ali for YEARS before i tried making another character, and while it was fun making a new one, she boiled down to a drunk depressed version of what came before. The more varied and exploratory i can get with my characters the better. 

One of my best experiences with a character was developing Unit. I played out the inner conflict of realizing you are able to take a hold of personal freedom now that you know you can have it while simultaneously not wanting to because youre still holding onto the faith that the higher powers know whats best and you should still be awaiting further instruction. those instructions would never come, and Unit is just another forgotten soldier stuck fighting the war, but it was SO MUCH FUN to play out the moral dilemma and ponder the philosophy! that was such a new experience for me, and i loved it! so i made a point to try and spice it up with whatever i try and make next

If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?

In truth? not particularly. i just sorta vomit ideas out onto my characters and whatever sticks sticks. i pay no real mind as to what those ideas mean. its just fun to me.

Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?

Oh there is no way i can play a character and stay detached...

When im in it? Im in it.

Do you create playlists for your characters?

HELL YEAH I DO. SPOTIFY iS A BEAUTIFUL THiNG.

When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?

I will ask myself all the same questions from above as when i come up with the character design, i listen to their playlist if i made one yet, and i picture whatever it was that they just got through experiencing.

a quick crash course refresher on how this character ticks.

Which character is your guilty pleasure?

Oh Sacha easily....hes the first character i think ive made where his entire backstory is hes from a rich family and he likes to try new things. Theres no intricacy here, hes just a simple start to a character and hes fon loving. Hes super refreshing to play around with.

Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?

Award for hardest to work with is probably going to Firo. I just wasnt as invested into making him as i have been for other characters. When i think of characters id like to play around with, hed be on the bottom of the list purely because he has the least amount of my interest

Which character is the easiest to draw/write?

The self insert. Next question.

Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

BRO LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I love coming up with the concepts and flushing them out as i go along, but i am not the greatest at writing and they all just sorta stay in my head. also i cant draw. its a bad time for everyone involved.

What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character?

well the first thing i always nail down when i think id like to entertain the thought of a character is their origin. so in a way i guess the aesthetic? though as i said above i like to keep things anything but trendy

Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?

dude i would love to make something big out of my characters! the problem becomes then that i would need someone who is as in sync with how i perceive my characters to be artistically inclined with, because god knows i cant do shit out here. until that day arises? in my head they stay.

[imagine-danganronps]

Do you have any boyfriend ryota headcanons? Im really curious on what hed be like in a relationship!

   Wow, I said I’d do this ages ago, didn’t I...? Well, Nonnie, you can wait no longer, so here’s what one can expect if you want to date one very precious, fragile, sweet-as-hell cinnamon roll that is Ryouta Mitarai~!

   (If you haven’t seen DR3, you’re gonna have a few spoilers up ahead, so... Beep, beep, it’s the Spoiler Car, coming through!!!)

    Expect right away that your first meeting with Mitarai is not going to go very well... Mostly because he’s not the most social person and he isn’t really interested in talking to others when he could be working on his animations. You’re either going to have to be just as shy and get caught in an apology back and forth for bumping into him, gently push through his boundaries, a weeb too...or just plain lucky.

    He will quickly latch onto you if you’re into anime too, though. He could talk to you for days about the color schemes, character depth, and incredible music of your shared favorites. He might also try to change your mind if you aren’t too fond of one of his favorites, only to blush and apologize when he’s realizing how pushy he’s being.

    He falls pretty quickly, this poor boy. You’ll likely be his number one fan, moral support, and...honestly his acting significant other, even if you two aren’t even together yet. Mitarai means well, but his home is a mess, he takes horrible care of himself, and he is going to treasure you like his anime collection when you cheer him on or try helping with suggesting things. (You end up learning so much about anime and animation from him, that it’s incredible.)    The thing to take from here is that your continued support and genuine care for him, his health, and this anime of hope he’s making... He’s gonna fluster himself over his feelings for you quite a bit.

    Your first key note is him going to shyly say it’s okay if you start calling him “Ryouta”, if you want... Instead of using his last name... You allow him to use yours, as well, and he’s embarrassingly giddy over such a sign of close friendship. (His head echoes you saying “Ryouta” every time you leave and he won’t stop smiling or humming songs that remind him of you. Imposter notes that when a character smiles, their joy is infectious. Ryouta knows it’s because of you and the feelings you’ve been giving him.)

    He is going to try and fail so hard at asking you out. Remember, our sweet boy has grown up feeling that people...are just so hard to deal with. Anime was and still is his comfort and solace...but he still likes you so much that he really wants to ask you out... He has the worst luck with it, though.    Ryouta then does it his way and makes a small animation of your favorite animal doing it for him. That would work, right...? I-it’s super cute-!! He still can’t give it to you, though, and has Imposter slip it into your desk for him.

    (He’s so scared you won’t talk to him ever again after you see it and can’t even work on his animation. He’s also gonna cry a little out of fear, just because losing you would be agonizing and he’s worried this whole time he might’ve taken your kindness for him for granted and he’s going to be so lost without you--)

    He screams when you knock on his door and falls right off of the bed in a rush to get to you. When you say you loved it and of course you want to date him.... He’s crying a little again and hugs you close.    (Right then is the best moment of his life and he will likely animate it how he thinks it would look like from a third person view. He also keeps re-watching it whenever the need strikes him. He’s a huge dork.)

    Prepare for anime binge watching with your new boyfriend. When’s not animating, he’s watching anime and you will watch it together and then get caught up in lengthy discussions about character and story arcs. His favorite ones are watching anime you haven’t seen yet and keeping an eye out for your reaction.

    Dragging him away from the screen to be healthy for a little bit, geez. Eating more than just instant ramen, fast food, and chips. Going for walks (he’d need the jog, but he wouldn’t be able to handle it). SLEEPING. You will have to care for him, but he always makes sure to thank you for what you do and remind you that he loves and appreciates everything you do for him. This boy won’t take you for granted (unless he’s too deep in the animation zone; you’ll bring him back and remind him, though!)

    Watching your boyfriend successfully blush every time you shower him in affection. Call him cute, kiss his cheek, kiss his lips... He’s gonna blush and get all shy~ They only thing he can really handle is holding your hand. That’s pretty much the number one reason he ends up going on walks with you for a little exercise; he gets to hold your hand the entire time and it makes him happy.

    Sleep with him once, he wants to sleep with you more. He clings a lot at first, but will eventually relax over time. Still has an arm around you, though. He also likes spooning and kinda likes being the little spoon more? But getting to be the big spoon means he gets to hold you and that’s pretty wonderful too... As long as you’re with him, he’s happy.

    Insecure, but he does trust you; more and more as time passes. Early on though, expect to hear him rag down on himself because there’s not much to him aside from his talent and there’s plenty of other people way more interesting than some nerd who likes anime and does nothing but draw all day and night... Your loyalty to him warms him up, especially since trying to be an assertive boyfriend to flirty jerks doesn’t work too well for him. (This boy tries so hard to be what he feels a boyfriend should be.)

    Not the best at cooking, honestly. Does a little better with baking at least, as long as he keeps focused? But you’re gonna have to be the one entrusted with dinner more than him; Ryouta does his best to help, though!!

    If you draw, sing, make music... Anything artistic leaning, he’s going to tHROW HIMSELF INTO YOUR INTEREST. He’s going to be so supportive of you, just like you are of him. He loves seeing whatever you do and if you do something with your hobby/talent, he’s gonna put it up somewhere where everyone can see. (With music or singing, he’ll have it downloaded so he can listen to it whenever he wants.)

    If you’re into sports? Oh boy, he doesn’t know a lot about them... Only from a few sports anime he’s watched before; that’s how sports are like, right? Ryouta tries his best to still be super supportive and learn enough that he can cheer you on! (He also likes watching you move; you’re so incredibly graceful to him!! Likely uses watching you as a reference to moving characters.)

    For someone who is down on himself when not into his talent, his heart breaks if you did the same. He sees you as someone so amazing to him... Looking so sad... It’s almost not right. He does his best to cheer you up and might even delay work on his anime in order to put all of his focus on you; for all you’ve done for him, it’s the least he can do.

    It’s been mentioned before, but yes, Ryouta totally takes a little time out of his day to make little animations for you. He’s super embarrassed about it at first, but later on, he loves being there to see your reaction. He often does them when you’ve had a bad day or when he wants to remind you how much he loves you. Longer, fancier ones crop up for Christmas (along with an anime or a thing you like a lot), Valentines Day, your birthday, and your anniversaries.    (He let Ibuki make music for one, once. Never. Again.)

    When Junko involves herself in Ryouta’s business? It’s a mess. Ryouta’s main concern is not getting you involved and getting you hurt on his behalf... Meanwhile, you and Imposter are freaking out, because what happened to him?! (Well, you’re freaking out. Imposter is the voice of reason for you.)

   ...I want to keep going, but also talking about Despair Ryouta is gonna hurt me too much so, hEY IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP GOING, HIT ME UP, BUDDY.   I hope you liked this?? So many HCs to make up for the time I was gone and hadn’t responded~