#and im fucking COUNTING the days. ive had to put up with her bs for two years now

[heyitslapis]

what fucking makes me want o rip my hair out when it comes to the security guy at work is that i'll even try to COMMUNICATE WITH HIM!!!!! (i know for people like us communication can be difficult & we often need specific clear wording and even then we have layers to peel back) When i cant tell if he's being sarcastic, i'll ask him genuinely, because as ive told him multiple times before the way he says things it literally cannot be interpreted as a joke (even neurotypicals at work have agreed with me in front of him) and always seems like he's being serious. i tell him this all the time and he acts like its fucking funny that im genuinely mad about the fact that he wont communicate back with me. Verbatim i have told him on multiple occasions "i genuinely cant tell when youre being sarcastic or making a joke because your tone is so flat and your face is so serious and deadpan and usually people will laugh or crack a smile a few seconds after the joke but you just stand there not expressing anything, even after i ask if its a joke because i genuinely cant tell"

YET HE CONTINUES TO FUCKING DO IT and then has the fucking GALL to laugh at me or call me gullible or naive when IM LITERALLY TRYING TO COMMUNICATE!!! bitch how tf am i supposed to know whats a joke and whats real when you act like im asking a fucking statue every time you say a lie or joke

[hypoetics]

Hmmm, ive been feeling downtrodden this past year and some change now

Infamous for my short comings it feels

Its never really been positive per say...

My mother had an unconventional upbringing being the child of a 16 year old in the late 70s of new orleans of louisiana

So she was rasied by her great grandma and her daughter

And those guys made it through THE great depression

So...it different

Never the less not very supportive

...she never learned to love in those ways

She probably took a lot of her anger she had about men on me when i was younger

Cant blame her i guess(literally...its to late)

She never wanted me to be anything other than a military man(i was born on a military base in watertien, ny)

And kind if put herself in denial about my sister being who they were

Amd i can literally count on my hand and the amount if times ive seen my dad since 2008

I never had a support structure

I was always the kne spuring other on

I live that shit

Taught my best friend to dance

Me and my highschool gf devolved into an old married couple before i knew it

Extended family has stolen from me, thrown me away, or never knew i existed

I like to think i was losing my mind when i ran away...

I couldnt even bring myself to ask anyone for help i felt so worthless

I could have pleaded...

But i didnt

Became a second class citizen when i went back to pick some stuff up from a friend and found out he tossed my social and birth cert into the trash, along with whatever else...his mom didnt think i was very thank for that one night of kindness they gave me

I spent a while after that sleeping where i felt safe, the back of empty dumpster, playgrounds, running tracks, unfinished houses

Before i met a friend outside of a smoke shop

It was great, i was working at freebirds at the time and i ended up staying with them for a while

I fell head over heels for someone so hard one night on acid

She was reciting the chocolate bit from spongebob

PERFECTLY

and it sent me to thr moon lmao

I was playing fez on the laptop underneath the playground we were hanging at

And everything felt right for a while

Before i realized im living in a drug den, looked like trash, and it was my first time doing drugs like these

Its what tributed to my last relationship going belly up to

We had a few moments

Lol there was this one time i was playing music before she got off and this one song by coiyuki that chanted "i love you" for kike 30secs started playing

And i reacted lol

Nothing was even happening and i just felt embarrased

There was another time i called her to let me into the store so we could talk before she got off...she couldnt so we sat on the floor on either side of the door for a little bit

She was definitely the one that got away

We both played uke, had great assests...idk we just fit together

She's the only person ive ever drawn something for with my emotions and given it too

I can only hope its still on her wall

We ended up going our separate ways after i had gotten further into drugs

She had some success on stage with her instrument

And honestly the most beautiful soul ive ever had the pleasure of meeting

Last time i checked she's deeply in lesbians with someone

And thats cool, as long as shes happy ya know

I dont talk about things i was doing while i was an addict though

Although for the most part i was still just as rad i usually...just fucking warped

But its nothing i want to brag...let alone talk about

But it wasnt pretty

A bunch of boys addicted to drugs is not a healthy situation at all

I dont even remember eating...

After that went belly up i had a friend take me in

And basicly allowed him to treat me however

Not that he was a terrible person or anything

I just let him be dominant over me for the sske of a place to stay

Which now that im coming back into my stride

Gave me some submissive habits that are gonna be tough to break healthily with the way my presence makes others feel

We had a common trauma that we bonded over

Which one one hand is the reason i think of that one chick from high school they i do still...

Basicly his live went unrequited

And mine well...idk

I just wanted to try and fix it for him

But long story short he wasnt capable

Same with me

I mean wheat done is done and everything is in the place it settled in

But watching someone go from the happy go lucky young adult

To regressing to the mind set he was in when he was happy with this person thinking she stilled liked him

Its either he realized she never did or he doesnt want to go back.

But it fucked me up

Which left me to want her more over the years

Because she's the only one i was aware of then that could without a doubt make me happy

Going against me cultivating a sense if self worth after the way that relationship ended, being disowned by my granddad iver some mail order whore, and being labeled as an undesirable in the community i was living in after some drug shenanigans everyone around me was involved in

I chalk it up to something to fixate on these days

But idk i hope im able to keep that person in my life forever

Even if our paths are diverging

I dont think i would have made it without him

After all that bs the house i was living in after moving out of there for a while

Although i did cuck my landlord on the couch after a party once

I wasnt even fucking the same

It was my first time with someone that moaned

And it was so hot at first, but she was so loud, the first time she would have woken up my land lord, the second time the door was broken to the garage and therr was a room full of people just on the other side, and the third time a house of people called me a rapist.

Which scared the shit out of me

Thinking back i should have just covered he mouth or told her to stfu you or something...would have been hot...so hot

But thay really messed with thr way i deal with women now....

Led me to not trust a lot of situations

And im hoooot so i should...:(

Idk :/

Basicly disappeared for s while after that

Had a couple good semesters at college

Which left me feeling on top of the world with an art bubble ready to pop

And then the world went to shit and i decided to do some cocky shit i regretted for a little bit but like...time and shit ya know

Oh yeah and obligatorily being ostracized from my community because i have different tastes in life style...that never gets old

Idk...i feel like the worst is finally over with

[pokefanbri]

I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.

We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)

For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.

I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.

Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.

After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.

Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔

I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.

I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.

This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.

Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤

[fuck-customers]

17 year old female  Kansas baked chicken worker from australia again!

this will be collections of fuck customer's, fuck co workers and wtf customers.

This one happened when i was first starting, i was on front counter like usual and that night we had run out of potato for the potato and gravy, so instead of the large potato and gravy that came with meals, we made sure our order taker told the customers they would get a plain gravy (same price in meals, but cheaper outside meals) and so our order taker is telling everyone this (and our drive through packers also have headsets and they can hear everything) and this one couple get their gravy in drive through then come storming in front when i was serving and start yelling at me and i didnt know what to do so i got my manger (Call her MC) to come help and the man (call him AC) just yells at MC that they are getting ripped off as its cheaper for a gravy than a potato and gravy, so MC tells them that its the same price in the meal. AC doesnt accept this, instead rants on about how they were never even told that there was no potato (remember 3+ people heard them be told and them agree to it) and so then the order taker ( call her K) comes and tells them this too and they just yell more. all the while i am standing there almost crying as thats just what happens to me when people yell and then AC starts ranting about how he wanted to see MC's boss (she is the boss for that shift) and that he worked in management for 20 years and this is BS. eventually i went around the back and i didnt know how we got him to leave, but dude ffs, the difference is $1 go buy 1 potato around the corner and mash it your self as ours is just from a packet.

Next we have one recently were i was on front again serving and packing like a boss, and i had this new girl with me ( lets call her G), first of all the day before she came in and demanded a shift so she got the same shift as me (4-8) and our uniform policy is no ear rings, but what did she do, after being told she would have a shift the next day? goes and gets her ears pierced, and claims she cant take them out, then refuses to put bandaids over them as they are "ugly". she also got mad when she was told to put a hair net on because i didn't wear one (policy is that if your hair is longer than shoulders it needs to be in a bun and then a hair net, mine is barely passed my ears and i push it back under my hat) and as she is new and i have been there for over a year, my manager tells me to just train her on things and tell her jobs to do, and i always clean when there are no customers as there is never nothing to do, and she was just standing there playing with the large note safe we have, like wtf, so i ask her to go get a job from my manager (once again its MC) and she huffs then goes, later on (like 15 min) she is standin doing the same thing, so i tell her that i think MC might have a job for her as MC told me earlier, and that job was to clean the fridge glass, so i tell her how and she says its stupid (like???? maybe but its what you were told to do), then another girl who has been working there for 5 months comes on ( we shall call her J), she is serving too, so she gets told to count her till before she starts serving, she counts it, take 20 minutes to count her STARTING TILL (takes 2 minutes tops ass its hardly anything in it) and then she gives the wrong change 5 times, so she needs keys to open the till again, like take the 5 extra seconds to count change correctly, i get it we make mistakes, but in the year ive worked there ive done that only 3 times, not 5 times one shift, and she constantly needs help for the simplest orders, and then the fuck costumer comes in, this guy comes in and asks to swap the crunchy salad (it comes free with a certian meal so we cant swap it) to a large side, and the rule is, if you cant do a swap on the register, we cant swap it. no ifs or buts, and J tells this guy and he starts yelling that they have done it before, so she calls me over and i handle it, i tell him the rule, he just yells (while spitting on me and speaking like jfc) "BUT ITS BEEN DONE AT THIS STORE BEFORE" well sorry buddy but im not the person who did that, im not risking my job for ur salad u can just throw away or refuse to take like damn. now end of shift, im cleaning up until my shift ends, like i always do, G is just standing, leaning on the bench talking to her family, we are not allowed to lean on the bench, so i tell her this, she scoffs, i also tell her to go get a job from MC, she says "but i finish in 5 minuets" it does not fucking matter, we work till end of shift. and i walk around the corner then come back AND SHE IS FUCKING LEANING ON THE DONATION BOX, LIKE WHAT DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT NOT LEANING, and like i wasnt going to ask nicely this time, i just simply said "hey, no leaning" and she scoffs again, like dude, chill, follow the rules. 8 pm rolls around, i go to my manger and ask if i can finish (this is protocol) and i see G about to clock out, so i ask her "did you ask MC if you could finish" (MC was right next to me btw) and she just rudely says "i finish at 8 so no" and ii say "youre meant to ask the manager if you can clock off" MC backs me up and says its because she might have more jobs but sends her home any way. but i wish she gave her a job just to spite her. but before end of shift, it was slow, so MC tells me to take my till off and count it, now it was full, like coins to the top, it took me 4 minuets, so i was sitting down for all of 4 min, and G gets upset that i was being lazy, LIKE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I SAT DOWN ALL SHIFT I DIDNT EVEN STAND AROUND DOING NOTHING AT ALL.

now the wtf customer

The night before that it was 5 min till i go home, and this man walks in, and asks me "you dont know anyone who wants to buy a caravan do you" i say no hoping he would just order, but instead talks about it for 5 minuets, then orders, and goes to pay by waving his hand at the eftpos machine, then saying paywave doesnt work, so he does the same thing with his card, then finally does it correctly, and i pack his food so fast just to get him outta there, and he asks to see my manager, i think "oh shit what did i do wrong" BUT HE JUST ASKS HER ABOUT IF SHE KNOWS ANYONE WANTING TO BUY A CARAVAN LIKE DUDE THIS IS A CHICKEN SHOP GO HOME!

sorry this was so long but i had a lot to get off my chest

[dorothyliker420]

huuhhoOh my GOD slrprfrsrfl(more lip licking noises)ooooh my GOd whoaoaohah. *huffing* a completeed chorus 2! HOLY SHIT oh my gohd

(silky made me this image as per request ily silky)

WELL HERE WE GO!!!!!!! A COMPLETED CHORUS CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!! CLOCKING IN AT 20,588 FUCKING WORDS AND 45 PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS! lets see how many bs words I can add to that count am I right ladies

because of, I dont know, any italicization or bolding in the text itself was lost when I copy/pasted it to here so I guess the Experience isnt as Deep BUT ITS ALL GOOD ANYWAY because only I get to type in bold. thats how you know its me and not a rabble, but I also italicized lines that I really wanted to talk about

ill put all the Canon Real Text in an indent tho happy reading,

A Long Awaited Duet ---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

The new canon is that in between those dashes is a really terrible swear word that the author censored with asterisks. only he knows it and he’ll unleash it when you criticize his fic

Pacing quickly around her room in a long, frustrated circle, Lisette’s worries were quickly drawing to a boiling point.

lisette’s circles make me long and frustrated am I right fellow dudes

Typically, she was a very easy-going person, the kind of girl who’d shrug off most concerns and instead focus on keeping a positive outlook. However, after spending her entire morning going through the motions, feeling trapped in a listless, uneasy funk, even she couldn’t help but be affected. It was almost noon already and still she couldn’t move her thoughts past yesterday’s tea party, to the look she’d seen weathered across Alto’s face.

Lisette is right to be threatened and uneasy. this is like the scene in the opening where the village is getting crystallized and its too late for rosa and shes like SAVE YOURSELF except instead its sexification

She hadn’t had the courage to say anything at the time, but it had haunted her thoughts ever since. Making it worse, when she’d attempted to find her mother to ask her for her advice, she hadn’t been able to find her anywhere, so she’d wound up simply spending the previous night with Marie.

the ghosts of the last chapter vaguely implying alto is too horney to sleep in the same bed as marie have returned and im frightened

“He’s… he’s still on edge, isn’t he?”

It wasn’t right. The fighting was over and peace had been won, but even when he should have been relaxing with his friends, Alto was still wearing the same guarded, strained expression. It was the same heart-breaking look she’d seen from her friend all throughout their battles, at all the times she’d stood at his die, watching him make the most difficult decisions of his life.

STOOD AT HIS DIE

She didn’t think any of the others had noticed. Perhaps she was the only one that would even be able to recognise the difference, after all, she was the only one who’d known him before all this. Back in Mithra he hadn’t been anything like that, he’d smiled freely and his gaze had was always carefree, to the point of being cheeky. Their entire lives had changed ever since she became a Witch and he followed to become her Knight… but she’d always hoped all this time that it could still return to how it was when everything was finally over.

“No,” she corrected herself, her body sagging with a deep sigh. There wasn’t any point lying to herself about this, “I’m not that naïve, I always knew it wouldn’t be that easy…”

“gee” said lisette out loud to herself with no one else around, “I am lisette from the video game stella glow. I am five foot four and my blood type is

Because, she knew Alto. And she knew, for him, that it had never been about the battles. He didn’t fear fighting, he would recklessly throw himself into danger without even a second’s thought if it meant he could help someone. As she’d told him so many times, his overwhelming compassion was both his best and worst trait. He was courageous to the point of stupidity, all he cared about was protecting the people important to him, keeping the people he loved safe and happy, as best he could. That was all the fighting had ever meant to him. And that was why she’d always known it couldn’t possibly be that easy for him.

im giving this alto analysis a 2 alto is a liberal degenerate who really loves hunting and also u dont know anything about him jl “AWOOOGAA” davenport if u tell me about him again ill kill you

Crying out in annoyance, Lisette slumped across the room and threw herself onto her bed, sinking deep into the large, soft mattress as if to try let it absorb a fraction of her worries.

I cannot shake the feeling he was thinkin bout her tiddies when he wrote this

‘Alto’s still fighting, even now,’ she knew that. It was a truth she’d struggled to deal with for days now, ‘The war isn’t over for him yet, because he’s still pushing himself to try find a way to keep every one of us happy.’

fuckin dumb ass horny ass bitch. mediocre ass, pathetic ass, money grubbing, fucking stupid bitch ass you dont put apostrophes around thoughts its ugly as shit

It was a painful thought, the elephant in the room and something she hated thinking about. But somehow, not thinking about it, pretending to simply ignore had become even worse.

does lisette know what an elephant is. does that expression exist. this is third person limited so its kind of weird to use that kind of anachronism

After all, if Alto was still fighting, then she wanted to fight alongside him! She was his family, his comrade, his first Witch and even his (prospective) girlfriend,

I had to cut this off because it was next level dumbshit literally anyone is his prospective girlfriend with that state of their relationship. im his prospective girlfriend 

there wasn’t a single part of her that wanted to do anything less than to support him with all her might. He was a part of her soul. He was the man she loved and someone who she would never allow herself to be separated from, she’d known those feelings for absolute certainty ever since the moment she’d woken up from death’s door and travelled around the world to stand at his side. Just thinking about him wracking himself with worries and her not helping him was terrifying!

1. 

2. that last sentence is the worst written thing in, if not human existence, then the century

And, she spared a glance over at the mirror she’d been avoiding looking at all day, even aside from that, could she really say she was any different? Was she truly able to smile like before, only because their fighting was over?

hackles raised at the prospect of mirror kink

Lisette gave a dry laugh, reaching out and squeezing the small stuffed pig Popo had given her, pressing it against her considerable chest. 

1. the pig is kinda cute like maybe but who tf is vending these smutfic items. who is crawling around in the back alleys selling cursed objects that make people horny as fuck. did ewan make a deal with the devil to sell all his twilight-zone-monkey-paw shit from his brief sponsorship with baddragon

2. die

3. lisette’s chest is CONSIDERABLE all right. it makes me CONSIDER ending it all

For all their outward appearances, in this, at least, she doubted it was any different from any of the others, no doubt that was why everything had seemed so off lately, “We’re all just stuck in limbo, aren’t we?”

this is the longest string of indirect pronouns ever like whomst??? and what an eerie sentence to end a section on. though u kno what stay in limbo

---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

those dashes are containing the massive power of the cuss word. if even one of them falters or breaks formation the sheer obscenity would vaporize us all

Unfortunately for Lisette, her self-examination came with no easy answers or steps forward. Even though she’d accepted that being stuck in place as they were was only making things worse for all of them and particularly for Alto, there was no obvious solution she could latch onto, to change things.

this literally picks up? exactly where the previous section ended? like. with information that flows from the previous paragraph. if youre going to make that fucking big then why is it functionally useless

However, now more than ever, she was a determined woman and slowly -as the time passed and the morning faded away into early afternoon- slowly, her resolve held out and she was able to fearlessly consider even the truths she’d previously tried so hard to avoid.

why is this the ugliest formatting ive ever seen have you ever heard of an em dash or, a comma. also im losing shit at Determination Resolve Holding Out Shes Never Done This wasnt this like the sole bad point of her tunings

She knew she loved Alto, that he was the only man who’d ever made her feel complete 

But, she also knew that the other Witches felt just the same, she forced herself to accept the fact that he was just as important to them as he was to her.

ok nvm im not done being pissed at The Only Man like yeah lisette its called comphet im rewriting this so that lisette realizes shes a lesbian and also that whole Complete Her thing is all of whats wrong with lisettes arc like all of it this is what men do

It was something they’d all consciously avoided discussing, something that none of them seemed to know how to deal with. Her companions, the other Witches, were all as close as family to her, she loved them all dearly… And yet, they were all competing, in their own way, for the same man.

alto is three years old

She was sure they must feel just as awkward about that as her, there was a reason why even the ever impulsive Popo or the harsh-blunt Sakuya 

tell u whats harshing my blunt........this fic ((takes a weed puff

had never said anything and why, no matter how much they talked and how much they shared, this single topic was never once addressed directly, they’d all been working on the same process as her- that it was too strange a situation and too difficult a conversation to deal with, that the best thing to do was simply wait till after the war when Alto would be able to reciprocate their feelings, and then there the problem would solve itself. Well… The war was over. And they were all still tiptoeing around each other’s hearts, all waiting for the same response from the same man. “We must all seem so silly.”

tf were they supposed to do to address it? like lets just accept the gross situation but was they supposed to so call everyone to a room lisette spins around in a big chair and says We’re Here To Discuss The Het or maybe this happens

She could just imagine how ridiculous this situation must appear from the outside; five best friends all in love with the same man, all waiting for him to respond to their feelings and all marooned in the same silent stand-off, walking on eggshells while pretending everything was fine. No doubt her mother found it hilarious.

thats the worst line ive ever seen in my life. oedipus rex has nothing on this bitch

that aside like accepting them all as comphets for the moment. literally never interacted on a regular basis with another boy their age. except hilda I guess but it doesnt matter this is so dumb! yall is a bunch of trauma victims you cant just jump directly into the boinking

“Grrr! This is all your fault Alto! Stupid! Since when did you get so popular anyway!? You weren’t like that in Mithra! You’re just… you’re just too dependable… You mean so much to all of us, we can’t help but love you…”

deadass u told me this was dialogue from the anime where the tiddies bounced when the girl blinked? id believe it

He was their conductor. They all loved him. They all wanted to be with him. They were all waiting for him to favour only them…

dont like how its treated that its an absolute that witches will just fall for their conductor thats like sayin no one is safe around bi ppl. reach perhaps but its the same dumbass ideas

Perhaps that was the worst part of all. The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to realise just what an impossible situation their feelings and expectations had put Alto into. She knew better than anyone just how much he cared for each of them, she’d healed the scars on his body time and again that showed just how far he’d go to protect any of them… And yet, without ever really thinking how, they were all still asking him to then choose between them, to decide which of his Witches he loved the most.

but also I just had the revelation that author does not know what romantic love is like, at all, and the smoke cleared I am enlightened and theres nothing I dont understand

And, she couldn’t help him at all, could barely even support him in what must be an incredibly painful choice for him. All she could do was leave it to him, and trust that when he did choose, that he felt the same way about her as she did about him and they would finally be together. As for the rest… She didn’t know… The thought of him choosing one of the others over her was almost too painful, to terrifying to consider, but the knowledge that her friends would have to go through that was no less terrible…

tired of u demonizing r*mantic love. fuck its th most exhilarating experience of my life. that and having a baby shark sit in my hands. dont give all these Oh No People Get Hurt to justify just fuckin whoever u want

That was the mire they were all stuck in. That was why Alto was still looking so stressed and why none of them had been able to move forwards. There wasn’t anything any of them could do and there was no way to make everyone happy. She frowned bitterly. ‘…Would… Would it even make us happy?’

me, who had never been as happy as I am prior to being in love: hell yeah bitch dis go hard as hell flocka

It was a strange thing to consider, something she’d never once thought before this very moment- she’d thought for so long she was waiting for Alto to return her feelings, she’d wanted so long to be with him and to be together forever. But, would she really be happy like that? Could she truly be happy being with the man she loved at the expense of watching the companions she held dear, the friends she’d bled and cried together with, becoming heartbroken? Mordi, Popo, Sakuya, and especially Hilda, after all they’d been through, after how important she knew Alto was to each of them… Her heart clenched in her chest just imagining it!

if this is a question then ur not in romantic love idiot! shut up

But… That was how it had to be, wasn’t it? They’d all been foolish enough to fall for the same man, there was only one Alto. No.

dumps the big ass mess of gl***ng pr**e poly edits here but im not saving it to my computer so u gotta imagine it

Lisette propped herself up on the bed, a previously unfathomable conclusion quickly becoming clear to her. No. She couldn’t accept that. And Alto surely wouldn’t accept that. He’d never accepted that they couldn’t stop the Eclipse. He hadn’t accepted that they couldn’t fight against God. And, at the end of everything, he’d refused to accept that Mother Qualia had to be their enemy. A solution that put the entire burden on Alto and led to all her friends being heartbroken? How could she ever accept that!? How could she ever have thought something like that would make her happy!? That wasn’t how they worked! They were the Tuning Knights, humans that had defeated God and saved Marie! They would never accept such a lukewarm compromise.

fucking................mormons..................................

‘Well now,’ she laughed, ‘If I really think about it, the solution is pretty obvious, isn’t it?’ It was reckless and crazy, nothing at all like anything she’d ever imagined herself doing… But then, didn’t that just make it the same as everything else they’d done?

this isnt even how polyamory works!!!!!!!! sorry im not being funny I just really value r*mant*c love and listen NO ONE would just sit down and think “yes clearly the healthiest thing for the person my heart is devoted to is to juggle 6 relationships”

“Yup! I’m not gonna accept anything like that!” ultimately, all that mattered was the same conclusion she’d come to, ever since she’d returned to life. She already knew what she wanted, she just had to make it happen, “Alto, I’m by your side. Always. I’ll support you!”

hi im lisette and this is my boyfriend alto! we’re queering heterosexuality by having him fuck a ton of girls at once! swipe right if you want to hop on that dick. no gays allowed

---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

me: this is bad content

jldavenport: h*mg*n*n*l*b*ng*s*gl*m

me: vaporized in silhouette against the wall from the sheer power

Finishing off a long day of meetings, reports and training, clad in his usual attire (sans the armour,

oh shit its sans thearmour!!!! gonna have a bad time that being said makes sense that hes european the gross fuck

thankfully for him) and returning from the dormitory baths with a relieved sigh, Alto scarcely had time to close the door to his room behind him before he was suddenly jolted from his thoughts by an excited knocking. “Eh? Lisette?”

the phrase “dormitory baths” pisses me the fuck off where do you get off jldavenport. probably all over your keyboard but stop saying shit like that this isnt your canon bitch

A late-night visit from his orange haired friend wasn’t especially unusual, but to see her standing around in her Witches outfit 

epithets, especially those that refer to hair color, are awful and amateurish but because he still doesnt know this apparently: Redhead. Is. A. Fucking. Word. 

in her Witches outfit

that wasnt good enough to warrant that large of an image but like that movie fucked me up so bad lets see what scars me worse the mouse scene or this fic

at this time of night certainly was. And even stranger than that, she was wearing the original outfit, the one she’d worn since the first time she’d awakened to her powers in Mithra, rather than the more dazzling Goddess robes she’d gained after he’d finally tuned her heart, ‘I suppose it’s probably easier to sit around in this one?’ If he had to wear something as flashy as any of the dresses the girls wore, he was sure he’d spent half his time worrying about ripping it.

honestly content notwithstanding this reads like an instructional on what NOT to do when writing. you write like this? dont. its very entry level like I cant say that I necessarily write better but do what I say not what I do

throwing the goddess thing out there is like him saying LOOK!!!! A FACT i KNOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL CANON!!!!!! HAHA

Despite standing staring at him from the hallway, with her face flushed and eyes not quite meeting his, she still hadn’t said anything, “Er, Lisette? Is something wrong?”

knocking on someones door and forgetting why ur there is a neurodivergent feel lisette has adhd now and theres nothing you can do about it

“Ah!” she jumped before finally shaking herself off and responding with a slight anxiousness, anxiety. see me after class “No, no not really. I just… I’ve had a lot of mind and I thought it’d be better if we could talk a bit? Do… Do you mind if we spend the night together, again?”

lisette u were literally talking to urself five minutes ago abt havin him fuck everyone and now ur all anime blushus. bitch

He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. She wanted to share his bed again? Spend the night holding hands like back then? Stopping himself short of giving her an answer, Alto suddenly realised just how imploringly she was looking up at him.

they literally used this exact Mouth Suddenly Dry thing last chapter do ppl who enjoy this fic actually like that r smthn. they get wet 4 the dry

“Huh, it’s not like you to actually ask…” He teased softly. Usually Lisette was far more insistent about this sort of thing, he’d normally expect her to simply march into his room and seat herself on his bed. He only realised as she spoke that for her to act like this, for whatever reason she was acting like this, it must be important to her that he did accept her request 

ugly sentence. ugly, ugly sentence. ew. im actually so bored by this sentence im ceasing work on this for the night good bye

She didn’t want to force it on him. Still… He couldn’t help but hesitate. It was stupid, he knew, but he’d felt awkward spending time alone with any of the girls since after the war, lest any of them get the wrong idea.

“get the wrong idea” DONT FUCKING WRITE ALTO LIKE THIS I AM IMMORTAL MY SKIN IS ADAMANTINE YOU SHALL FALL BEFORE ME

A moment passed and still Lisette didn’t say anything; clenching her hands nervously below her wait -and unintentionally pushing her impressive bust out even further towards him- 

the commissioner, apparently upon seeing stella glow:

she silently awaited his response. Blushing a little under her low gaze, Alto realised it was getting harder and harder to remember the days when he’d seen her just like a sister.

this proves its inhuman and disgusting because it gave me visceral flashbacks to fire emblem fates so lemme post some of my fave incest quotes from that, starting with the ones it made me astral project into

2.

did that last one haunt u because for a split second you imagined a world where lisette said them? good bc that shit keeps me up at night. im tired of cropping these quotes out so like we’re done my point has been made

In the end though, he couldn’t possibly deny her. Not for no reason, and not when she looked at him like that, “Yeah, of course Lisette. That sounds fun.”

the begging thing from the last chapter hit me full force in memory and I honestly hope it comes back bc ive got a dynamite joke locked and loaded

Breaking out into a bright smile, the Water Witch sagged in relief, taking him by surprise as she reached out to take his hand in hers, letting her body fall soft and warm against him as she did so. Her breath tickled hot across his collar and Alto’s heart jumped in shock!

DONT EVER USE EXCLAMATION POINTS LIKE THIS im serious. it is about as ugly, 2007-fanfic-net-core you can get. 

Her hands felt smooth and gentle, wrapped warm around his… 

HIS WHAT

he’d felt that before, it was pleasant, although not anything new. But feeling her head falling lovingly to his shoulder like this and having her entire body now laying against his… His mouth went dry, 

Wet 4 The Dry Confirmed

he could even feel her breasts pushing large and heavy against his own chest! ‘Woah… S-So soft… They’re even bigger than Rosa’s, aren’t they?’

can you believe this was written completely unironically? like, people find this hot? if it didnt deplete the experience of reading this fic id replace every line referencing boobs with a comment from nicki minaj’s instagram

For just a split second, no matter how much of a gentleman he was, standing there like that, it was impossible for him not to compare the mother and daughter.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON

“Li-Lisette?” he choked out, desperately reigning in his thoughts before they rampaged down a dangerous direction. “Mmm, Alto, hehe, I’m glad,” she giggled happily, skipping back and beaming up at him as she tugged on his hands, leading him off, “Even just being like this with you, I feel better already!”

ok I have NO idea what movement theyre doing. shes like, skipping and then she comes back and takes his hands and idk probably his dick or something

Absolutely caught up in her rhythm, they were halfway down the hall before Alto finally realised she’d pulled him completely out of his room!

heres a coded message just for katt: e*****t w** d****** **m!the narration means he was aware she was pulling him so like where the fuck did he think he was going if not outside his room

“Uh, h-hey, Lisette? We’re going somewhere? I thought you wanted to go to sleep?” “That’s right,” she nodded simply, giving up and tugging him and instead falling into step beside him, “But your bed’s too small for it to be comfortable, so we’re gonna use my room instead!” Alto almost dug his heels in from sheer indignation! 

im sorry. im sorry I had to cut this up but come on. come the fuck on. indignation. like she made a point and alto is all “insolent female requesting things of me” have you not met alto. authot is from r/incels

She’d come all this way to see him, just to drag him back to her room!? How self-indulgent could she be!? And, it wasn’t as if his bed back in Mithra had been any larger and she’d never complained before. Eventually, he just sighed and followed her lead, it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. If it would make her happier, then that was fine. It might be nice to spend a night in someone else’s room for a change too.

Walking hand in hand through the halls like this was fairly embarrassing, thankfully it seemed that it was late enough that no-one else was around. He really, really didn’t want to suddenly run into Rusty like this, let alone Giselle, or Sakuya… Supressing a shudder, Alto hurried on.

“let alone giselle” wh???? I am so baffled by this. obviously rusty or sakuya would give him shit but whats giselle gonna do??? is alto being bullied by a robot?????? I want giselle to appear and smash alto’s frosting into the ground

“I won’t hesitate, bitch,” said Giselle, pointing her laser at altos dick and shattering it into one million individual pieces

Unlike the tiny spare room he’d been assigned so long ago now, Lisette, as a Witch, had been housed in the premium quarters on the other side of their dormitory. 

stop. stop saying dormitory. this is not a college

Luckily in this case, unlike the Palace, the building wasn’t overly large so it was only a short trip to her room. They arrived a few minutes later, just as his heart was beginning to settle down.

…

what happened to the long ass aterisks break. oh god the swear word is coming isnt it

Unfortunately, the moment Lisette opened the door and they stepped inside, Alto’s breath was one again caught violently in his throat, “H-Hilda!?” And indeed, kneeling serenely atop a small cushion in the middle of the large room, the Time Witch was sipping calmly from her usual green ceramic tea-cup, as if there was nothing strange about her presence here at all.

I dont like how shes sitting on a pillow in the center of the room that sounds ritualisitic

(bangs pink cup on the ground) She Sits On The Sacrificial Fuck Pillow ((group of hooded figures behind me start chanting “Fuck Pillow! Fuck Pillow!”

Watching as she settled the drink aside, perfectly in synch with the sound of Lisette locking the door behind her, Alto’s mouth went dry.

theres so much wrong with the syntax and shit but im pushing that all aside to say how fucking difficult it is to sync sound like that even on purpose so yeah theyre def doing a cult sacrifice to the original sex god, elcrest

A moment of silence reigned and somewhere in the back of his currently panicking mind, the bewildered Conductor couldn’t help but notice that Hilda too was wearing her standard Witches’ outfit, the same form fitting black dress 

“dress” very generous for mr boob grower

and wide sweeping hat she’d become associated with for so many years. However, in her case, this wasn’t much of a surprise. As far as he’d seen from the White-Haired woman, she didn’t seem to actually own any normal, casual attire and, while he knew she deeply adored he beautiful white dress she’d unlocked when he’d purified her lonely heart, he also knew that even she couldn’t help but feel rather self-conscious, wearing something that was practically a wedding dress as an everyday outfit, he hadn’t seen Hilda’s Goddess Robes since the end of the final battle.

I literally cannot read any part of this paragraph except the capitalization of White-Haired and Goddess Robes this was either written in the 1700s or modern day by me dissociating in a target bathroom this is so funny if the fic gets any funnier ill die

“Alto? I’m surprised. Isn’t it a bit late for you to be visiting a woman’s bedroom?”

horny dont got business hours babe

“Ah, H-Hilda! It’s, it’s not what you’re thinking, I, Lisette!? Wha-” “Relax Alto,” the Water Witch giggled softly as she stepped forward, taking his hand again, but this time wrapping herself around his arm, “She’s just teasing you.” “Wha… Abuh?”

this is harem anime/fire emblem dialogue right down to the “Abuh?” actually thats the defining thing you hear someone say that youre in a straight anime and you need to run for your fucking life

“My apologies,” Hilda nodded, offering him a small smile in recompense as she matched Lisette’s movements, taking hold of his other hand, her pale face burning bright red as her soft fingers entwined with his, “I just, got a little flustered seeing you so suddenly… I… I wasn’t sure what to say.”

ok first of all you cannot write hilda in any realm of possibility but also like this is yet another thing to not trust men for: emphasizing the whiteness of a womans skin. he is a racist, plain and simple

Her hand squeezed nervously around his and Alto realised just how easily he could feel her racing heart through the light fabric of her dress when she pulled his arm against herself. Not that Lisette was any different, he couldn’t possibly believe in the confidant front she was showing after knowing her as long as he had, not when he could feel her entire body trembling against him.

hilda is like two ft tall howd she even reach his arm. also like there isnt even any fabric boy u raw touchin her 

His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn’t think what to say, he wasn’t mentally prepared for any of this! He’d gone from expecting to go to sleep, to being visited by Lisette, to being dragged through the halls, and now he was being sprung with some surprise meeting!? And both of them were clinging to him like never before! 

this is in character alto not wanting to have a threesome so he can go nap

He couldn’t possibly keep up. Before he even realised it, he’d been pulled all the way over to Lisette’s bed and was sitting with a girl wrapped around either of his arms.

what a problem! what a terrible day for him! what are the odds of this happening!

“What… What’s going on?” “Something good.” Hilda answered in her own cryptic fashion, her voice almost breathless and her blazing red cheeks half hidden behind his cloak as she shyly slid in right next to him.

it is most certainly not good ma’am

“That’s right,” Lisette agreed, happily snuggling up against him as she squeezed herself around his other arm, “We’re gonna help you come to a decision!”

we’re gonna make u C*M...............to a decision ;)

Alto blinked, “Eh?”

petition for this to turn out like the friends episode where ross got kicked out of a threesome with his wife and another woman bc they were lesbians so he left and made a sandwich

conveniently the fic decides to break here anyway so thats all you get for now. I’ll finish the other parts later (im expecting like maybe five because of the gargantuan size of this travesty) and link them direct from here 

Part 2 here! (coming soon)

[xseniaxgorex]

yesterday fucked me up

i spent my morning panicking then bein handcuffed on my bed to be taken to my fuckin living room & these cops had the fuckin nerve to be a dick and ask me “why are you crying like that?” bc im panicking asshole, they handcuffed me bc i wasn’t talking while i was having a whole ass panic attack , if you literally kno me i cannot TALK if im having a panic attack my mind is all over the place i hear you i can’t process what’s going on my mind goes stupid I shut down ive had so much bs happen to me bc i can’t talk & ppl take it the wrong way

& this only happened bc me & my mom we’re going at it in the mornin bc last night i asked her if she could move my sisters car literally jus move it forward while i get myself in the garage & she pretty much told me go look for parking somewhere else who gives a fuck if there’s an empty garage that no one is using go park far as fuck. & i parked in the red & i told her if i get a ticket im not going to pay for it.

& the only reason why i wanted to park in the garage was bc i didn’t want to wake up in the morning to move my car i wanted to sleep in i worked that day i was off the next day i wanted to sleep in ive been sleeping like shit lately so i was mad I knew if i left my car in the red she was going to bug the shit out of me in morning bc it only mattered to her bc i said she would pay for the ticket if i didn’t say that she wouldn’t have bugged me as she did in the morning so of course i was passed & talking shit & my stupid sister decided to get in it. pretty much tried to talk shit on me bc i lost my car but i came back at her & said atleast i got a new one without mommy’s help atleast i can drive & move a car out of the garage driveway & she got mad bc i literally told her off she started crying & she decided to call the cops to feel on top of this whole bullshit. i got mad & said she’s acting like my mom bc i got mad that she were both surrounding me room door to talk shut while i was inside but i came put & she closed herself in the room i don’t take shit talking behind doors behind a fuckin computer screen ect. I wanna talk shit SAY IT TO MY FUCKIN FACE. She got mad because i got in her face & was louder & was saying the fucking truth if this was the other way around & my sister came home & saw my car in the drive way & knew there was NO ONE using the garage she would told my mom & she would’ve bugged the shit out of me until i got up to move my car for her i kno that for a fact.

earlier that day too i saw that tweet of the whole kidnapping shit & i got paranoid bc i was on my lunch in my car & there had been a van parked behind me my whole lunch he wasn’t waiting for a parking spot he was parked behind me so i panicked & left my car earlier to wait for my lunch to end inside my jobs break room & i realizes that in a panick i locked myself out the car & luckily my manager was cool with me trying to open my car after i clocked in from my lunch so like anyone the first person you wanna call is your parent for help especially since i live with my mom inexpected her to help me out i asked her to bring my spade & she hits me with go ask your boyfriend to. So i hung up & i felt like shit i expected help bc i know if it was my sister she would’ve got her spares & dropped them off no hesitation so bullshit remarks. So i panicked again & bc of my manager she gave me an idea to take a hanger & it worked but i had a reason to panick about that guy in the van he took a picture of me he was in his van with his phone out & i saw his camera on the screen. The whole time i was trying to get into my car he was there & it sucks cause i made myself feel worse i made things worse for myself. So me going home that night after that it made me feel like shit for my mom to continue to pretty much not give a fuck about me. & it sucks bc it was my sister who posted that tweet.

like it fuckin sucks bc if it was me & i heard my sister & mom arguing to move my car i would’ve came out to shut them up & to help my sister out bc i wouldn’t want her to park far. But it only shows how much my “family” cares.

all this was avoidable if they jus let me in the garage my sister called the cops for no point she tried to bring up the past to the cops on the phone so i was talking shit & saying but are you saying i get mentally abused & that I’m clinically diagnosed with depression & anxiety??????? that the only time I ever talk back & yell back is if im being treated wrong & being talked to in that tone??? Bc i want to defend myself?

like i literally was panicking in my room & the cops were trying to open my door.

before they came i almost started cutting myself bc i had enough of my mom & sister not giving a fuck when i heard the cops outside my room i panicked so bad i called my dad but he wasn’t picking up the only person i was on the phone with was ricky & when the cops came they took my phone way & hung up on him. the only thing keeping me from getting worse was ricky telling me he was on his way.

I was so scared i was in a ball hugging my cinnamonroll i didn’t want to fucking talk to the stupid cops my mind was to busy trying to understand why my own blood would do this to me make me the bad person when all i fuckin wanted was to park in the stupid garage no one was fucking using. They handcuffed me bc i was panicking & not talking they were trying to force me to talk when i could barely even breathe & they pulled me off my bed to handcuff me to jus walk me to the living room??? like why handcuff me to jus walk me to my sofa? i was not resistin at all i jus could not talk i could barely breathe. So then they started asking me if i had depression & if i take medication so then they called an ambulance bc i wouldn’t shut up & they told me that if i went with the abundance & take the medication they would give me they would remove the handcuffs so i panicked even more bc i can’t fucking even afford my own medication rn i can’t afford a fuckin ambulance so i was scared bc i felt like i had no choice i was still in panick bc i was still trying to process this whole bullshit situation

when the ambulance came im glad they showed up bc they were the only ones giving a fuck about my breathin & my hyperventilating.

& they were talking to me & i told my mom calls me crazy when i panic & pretty much everyone was on my side bc they knew i had a mental issues & that i don’t jus get like that for no reason i was triggered by my mom after me & my sister were fighting i went to the bathroom to pee & i heard my mom telling my sister calm down she’s jus crazy don’t bother with her.

like that’s what set off my panick attack bc im tired of this bullshit i can’t stand up for myself without being called crazy.

The paramedic lady went to my mom & told her not to say that to me.

when ricky showed up he was the one who calmed me down he got me a water he hugged me he does this cute thing where he breathes with me so i follow his breath taking & everyone was jus glad he showed up bc i calmed down he knows how to help me with my panic attacks

the same lady asked me if i still wanted to go & i said no, i really thought i had no option.

they also told my mom for permission for ricky to stay with me bc he’s keeping me calm. bc the whole time when he showed up she was telling them she didn’t want ricky in the House & even tho she said yes i didn’t want to be in this stupid house we left.

but then i decided to do laundry so i came back home bc that’s what i wanted to do yesterday that was my plan to sleep in & then do chores at home till ricky was off. but he decided to ditch work to come see me when he heard everything happening.

we spent the rest of the day snatching & drawing at the beach for like 4 hrs & then went to go get pizza.

i thought we were going to have the rest of a good day but we ended up getting pulled over while leaving down the street for not having the headlights on but my car is weird bc it’s a 90s car so we thought they were on. they handcuffed ricky & let me stay in the car & i started crying again bc i was completely sick of cops the rest of the day & for us to be dealin with one again jus triggered me again so i was crying. i was scared they were gonna take ricky they were trying to find illegal shit on us. When they stopped us i was asleep in the back bc panick attacks are draining so when i woke up i woke up bc i heard the cop on the speaker & noticed the lights behind us & they started flashing the light in my face & that’s when they told ricky to get out & handcuffed him. i was really gonna panick if they put handcuffs on me again.

i have a bruise on my left wrist from the unnecessary handcuffs they put on me yesterday mornin

& now im drinkin & smoking bc i feel depressed af & i don’t want to physically hurt myself i cried typing this shit out but fuck my mom & sister they are canceled I KNO I CANT COUNT ON THEM FOR SHIT.

my dad called me while i was getting my laundry stuff ready at home & i told him everything & he could not understand why they took it to the extreme & whythey did not jus let me use the garage for my car when it was empty. he then told me & this hurt to hear he said i don’t know why both gang up on you & why they treat you this way but know im always here for you you can’t count on me for anything , im going to talk to them jus calm down’ & i kept saying i kno that thats why i called you. My dad was the only who protected me from my mom when she would mentally beat down on me

i can’t stop crying i feel like shit