#and im really worried about my classes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catinasink · 5 months

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#cat's rambles #cat's schoolposting #stressed about shit im sorry #i gotta figure out the shit about my schedule #BECAUSE IM MISSING A CLASS #and what if i dont get into engineering fuck #i really wanted to it was what i was looking forward to #and im not sure who i have classes with #and what if i have classes without someone i can talk to #because group work and shit #and theres a fuckton of people i hate in my grade #and also i have a fuckton of math hw to finish #and i know i will procrastinate #and also i need help on it so i really fucking hope i can ask my teacher #bc i dont want to ask my dad #and also theres the stupid fucking crush i have #and it keeps distracting me #because i cant stop thinking about them whenever i see them #and also theres those two things that are a constant in my head #and also the worry #and my irls #and im really worried about my classes #and im getting my hair cut soon and im worried about that as well #sorry all of this is very stupid please ignore me

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eikichi-supremacy · 6 months

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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification

#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots #in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say #and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that #anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared #she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend #now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko #whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble #you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i #and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd #i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke #who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan #to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair #yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair #so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be #she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that #dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me #the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way #idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it #character analysis #yukimura keiko #yu yu hakusho

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ruthlesslistener · 5 months

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[through gritted teeth] this is fine.

#got rejected from two jobs that i was really interested in and have received nothing but radio silence on the rest #the one place that i can afford with my current job after my student rent lease ends has a ridiculous pet fee #(370 dollars)#my qpp and their disabled mother is being threatened with homelessness but their mom refuses to let them move in with me #im struggling to get good grades in the classes that really matter bc im too worried about the future to focus #this is fine! everything is fine!#arghhhhhhhhhhh

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wifeblade · 11 days

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im so fucking stressed about school :(

#they have us doing a tonne of work this week for a miniproject #and i just got an email from my lama lecturer that i need to do home study before tuesdays class #i could ignore it but im really worried about falling behind and shit piling up

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chilapis · 5 months

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Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.

#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool.#i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had.#and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself #helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher.#but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic.#and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts?#i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just.#hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating #there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow.#i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life.#i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck.#they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points in common.#as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate.#it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such.#having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think.#and i’m glad i can be that person for so many.#and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries.#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.#but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest #<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help.#sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait #🥀🍷 — colloquy.

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vraska-theunseen · 7 months

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google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help

#alex talks #one time that friend from the second example had to rescind an invitation for me to come to shabbat dinner bc he said his parents were #hosting an important rabbi and didn't want their sons friends dicking around in the house and i was like ok i get it and then another friend #mentioned to me something that implied they were still going to the friend's house and i had 2 class periods to stew and get anxious and #paranoid and think like does he hate me? does he just not want to invite me specifically? do his parents not like me did they ask him not to #invite me specifically? and then in advisory we're both just sitting there and im like 'so do your parents hate me' and he's like 'what????'#and i'm like 'jakob said they were still going to your house' and he's like '????? my parents told jakobs parents they could come and stay #overnight bc their parents are out of town so jakob has to come over' and i was like 'oh. sorry' and felt so bad about it for the entire day #honestly? now that im thinking about it so many times i've been like manic in that friends dms about something they said that i've made 10 #leaps of logic over so in my head they said a completely different thing but to them i just sound insane and like i'm taking them in the #most bad faith i possibly can. which i guess really i am but i just get so worried #hm i guess manic is a specific word for a mental health symptom idk how else to describe it like i call him and leave a voicemail where ive #worked myself to tears over something i can't even remember now. maybe hysteric?#nobody reads these right

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roetrolls · 6 months

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:))))) hrgh

ok so not to get too venty on here but

i start my final quarter of college tomorrow w/ my senior film due in 2 months, and my neurologist just upped my steroid dosage which might result in new side effects (or maybe already has? the steroids have already been fucking with my vision but it seems a lil worse and now i think im having trouble falling asleep too) AND im gonna have to deal with infusions during this too :')

o(-< so hrghhhhhhh basically the next 10 weeks are about to be really stressful and i just wanna ask that everybody be patient/gentle with me

#ughhh im so nervous #my hearts gonna explode outta my chest bro OTL #im also trying very hard not to worry about my treatment progress #i trust my neurologist but it is becoming very difficult to leave every appointment with #'i was hoping we'd see more progress by now. im going to up the ante'#ive already progressed so far and would be beyond thrilled if this was the limit #but im scared that if it IS it's gonna take constant work to maintain it #i cant get infusions for the rest of my life #and like #ok so when i started the steroid #i had a bit of a backslide in progress at first #which really scared me #turns out thats normal!#but she didnt warn me #and it turns out. she didnt warn me because.#in the 2000 people she has prescribed this steroid to #i am the only person who had that happen on a dose less than 40mg #so! not normal actually!#and i know bodies are just weird sometimes but that combined with the fact that apparently my case is really stubborn...#o(-< im scared #and the classes i need to graduate arent offered in the summer so if i cant push through them with all of this going on i cant just #drop one then graduate then finish in summer (which they let you do)#puts my head in my hands

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apocalyptic-byler · 2 months

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just a high schooler who is currently having a college crisis

#im actually afraid im not taking enough advance classes #like im literally taking a college english class this year and my other english classes have been honors #i have a 4.4gpa but im sure colleges look at more than just my gpa im pretty sure they look at the difficulty of my classes and ive only had #hard english classes and my electives go well w what im planning on majoring in college but my core classes excluding english????? yeah im #worried about those #AM I OVERREACTING????#i am prone to that btw #should i be worrying about this even if my grades are really good and my gpa is high??? 😭😭😭😭#HELLLPPPPPP ON THE ACTUAL VERGE OF TEARSSSSS #i think having a college crisis is a canon event for every highschooler 😭😭😭

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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months

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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here #it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening #and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time #we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please #idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest #but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work #sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon #ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for #my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell #happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and #when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends #and i don't wannaaaaa #i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but #it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being #the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it #we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line #i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know #and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot #but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class #even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig #i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me #and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh #i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like #The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed #but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me #and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it #and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh

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woodfrogs · 4 months

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fellas im gonna be honest idk how many more 11 hour days i have left in me

#i speak #ugh little vent ahead in the tags #the problem is i need money. which means i need a job all year. but that job is teaching piano and i cant just stop when i get my summer jo #and i actually spend more time at work than i do studying during class terms. so its longer more exhausting days in the summer #like i can plan my study schedule around busy teaching days and evenly distribute the workload. mostly. but work is the same every day #and the thing is currently - not including the commute to my students houses- im really only teaching 4 hours a week. with commute its 6 ma #so i could take more on. and if i want to start saving up for when i move out i kinda do need to do that #but the best option then would be to start teaching on saturdays. spread out the work. and NOT do 9-8 every day of the week #but scheduling things with friends is already hard enough when i have free weekends. and i need the break #but also now im paying my mom rent because shes unemployed and financially irresponsible so i REALLY need the extra money.... ugh #just two more years of this then 5-7 years of low grad school wages and two years of residency then i never need to worry about money #or working more than 8 hour days #ever again!!!!

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hauntedwoman · 1 year

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my agoraphobia and my depression are getting so bad and the semester starts in two days i want to die

#i havent left my house since wednesday and i keep saying that i will #but then i realize people will be looking at me and i also just worry that im going to waste my time once i leave the house #and then i'll have a panic attack realizing i've been out in public for so long and for nothing #last semester i was in classes i literally failed a class bc i was too anxious and upset to go anywhere #and then the shame spiral that followed was even worse fuck #and in addition to that im not really finding joy within my special interests anymore i'm just brutally aware of how lonely i am #and now no one actually cares about what i write about

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mirmidones · 12 days

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3.40 i woke up bc i was cold and needed to pee and now i can't fall back asleep i keep thinking of the people i accidentally ghosted. is it ghosted if there was no intent to ghost? i feel so bad and it's not even like i don't think about them i often do think "i should really reply to them... once this is over ill properly sit down and write them... " and then i don't bc something else happens and im dealing with that and the longer i leave it unanswered the more difficult it becomes because i feel so guilty and therefore want to do things properly not half assed but bc i feel so guilty a part of me also tends to avoid it even more. if i do this to you just know i'm really sorry and ill get back to you i swear