#and is a lot more sympathetic with like the rest of the crew

[waterdeep-weavemoss]

Chasing Away the Cold

The ship swayed gently as it rested, at anchor. Doe lay on her bed in the bright cabin that was hers alone, gazing at the trinkets on the shelf: several pretty shells, a cut ruby and gold necklace that had been a gift, a music box. It was eerily silent; the crew had disembarked, but she was tired of land, wanted the gentle hush of the sea. It made her heart full to know she was trusted to care for the Sanguine Shadow, a little flare of light in her chest that kept her warm on this cold night. Through the porthole, she spied a drift of white lifted on the chill air.

A gentle knock pulled her from her reverie. 'Lass?'

'Come in,' she said, shifting onto her side as the door opened to reveal Gale, snow melting in his hair. 'Hello, you. I thought you were having a well earned drink and a dance.'

'Ah,' he said, smiling sheepishly at her as he shrugged out of his coat. 'A siren pulled me back. Have you seen her?'

'Hmm,' said Doe, tapping her bottom lip thoughtfully. 'She was in the captain's quarters last, I believe- hey!' She squealed as Gale pulled her from her bed to kiss her. He held her by the waist, close and gentle. It was sweet and smouldering, his kiss, like embers and yielding ripe fruit on the tongue. She melted into his embrace and felt him grin against her, dipping his head to kiss her throat.

'Not tonight,' he rasped softly. 'If you don't mind.'

'I don't,' she agreed. 'It's a cold night, after all.'

As if to emphasise her point, the wind picked up to a howl outside, the whirl of snow thickening and beginning to settle. She shivered in her thin shift. Gale smiled sympathetically, grasping the thin material in his warm hands and lifting it over her head to reveal her body, gooseprickled with cold.

'Poor thing,' he breathed, tipping forward to claim her mouth again, his hot tongue slipping between her lips, his breath in her mouth, a hand moving to gently cup the back of her head, kneading in soothing circles. They fell back on the bed and he covered her body, trailing kisses over jaw and neck and chest; he was focused, lips and tongue drawing sighs from her, leaving marks of possession on her skin for the captain to find- and try to best- later.

'Gale-' she said breathily, her hands tugging at his hair gently as he suckled a nipple, drawing it to a hard peak. When he looked up to meet her eyes, his gaze was hungry, the fire in those dark depths stoked to a blaze, but still adoring.

'A little warmer, lass?' He smiled at her blush; she was thawing under his skilled touch. Smoothing a hand along her skin to rest at her throat, the heavy coolness of his rings strangely soothing to her, he turned his attention to her other breast, groaning into her skin as her breath caught. He knew the map of her body well enough, but allowed her hands to guide his head down the soft rise of her belly. His kisses there tickled; she giggled and he only peppered her with more, laughing up at her with sparkling mischief in his gaze.

'Beautiful songbird,' he chuckled, nuzzling at her skin. 'You have such an infectious, wicked little laugh.'

'It's the wicked company,' she replied, grinning. 'Something about a scoundrel pirate...'

He raised a brow, smirking. 'What have you heard?'

'Oh, lots of things,' she said, writhing as he licked at her inner thigh. In response, he tsked and gripped her thighs with both hands, keeping her still. 'For one thing- he's a bit of a control freak.'

His eyes glittered at that. He pulled her down the bed, closer to his mouth, laughing darkly when she yelped. 'Hmmm. What else?'

'He's very attentive.'

'Mmhm.' He smirked into her skin, pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses higher and higher, going slowly, teasing and thorough.

'Anything else, lass?' he whispered, breath ghosting over her clit.

'He's very good,' she croaked, mouth suddenly dry.

Gale closed his eyes and moaned softly at the praise, finally lowering his head to put soft lips and skilled tongue to work. He remained slow, relishing the waves of heat rolling off her, the soft cries from her mouth, her hands gathering his hair in her fists in an effort to ground herself. He lifted her, hooked his arms beneath her thighs to ensure no escape, stayed attuned to the trembling of her body and the tension he was building. When her breathing grew fast and shallow, he pulled back for the briefest moment.

'Doe,' he growled. 'Let go.'

The command sent her falling into pleasure; tears rolled down her cheeks and she screamed his name as he worked her into a second, finally pulling away with her arousal over mouth and bearded chin. He licked his lips, catlike and smug.

'You're wearing too many clothes,' she said as he rose to kiss her. He pressed her into the mattress, hands cupping either side of her neck.

'Hmm. And what do you plan to do about that, little siren?'

It was his turn to yelp in surprise as she flipped them, straddling him as her hands went to his crisp blue linen shirt. Her legs still trembled; Gale's hands went to her hips to steady her as she unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it from his shoulders. She pressed small soft kisses into his chest and shoulders, licked up his neck with a devouring tongue, tugged at his earlobe with her teeth and drew a feral snarl from him.

'You're so good,' she said between kisses, nosing at his jaw. 'Such a sweet boy.' Her hand stroked downward to unlace his trousers and she shifted so he could shimmy out of them, dropping to her knees beside the bed.

'Careful lass,' he warned. 'Keep talking like that and I won't get to be inside you before- ah-'

She grinned wickedly, big brown eyes sparkling. 'I don't plan on it, love.' With that, she divested him of the last of his clothes, took his cock in her hand and drew it into her mouth; the sound of his stuttering breath, the whimpers he could not hold back, were music to her.

She was as slow and attentive as he had been; the heat of her mouth and softness of her tongue rendering him nothing but a moaning mess above her. She would not let him have release however, not yet; she released him, taking in the sight of his flushed cheeks and bright eyes as she rose to straddle him again, guiding him within her. His eyes fluttered closed, his teeth grit on a groan as she sank onto him, his hands bruising on her hips to set his own punishing pace. The sweet gentleness of before gave way to hard, desperate thrusts; she came again above him, collapsing into his grip with a hoarse cry, and it only drove him to push her more.

'Fuck, Gale that feels so good-'

'You feel incredible,' he moaned in response. 'Gods- I love you- I love you so much-'

'I love you too,' she gasped. 'I need you- I need you to fill me right now-'

And then he came, heat and cries and ragged breathing, his arms winding around her to hold her close as they rode out their highs, the snowstorm raging outside, unable to touch the fire that blazed between the siren and her scoundrel.

Tags:

@bluerosetarot @dansnotavampire @further-than-forever

@forget-me-maybe @poetryvampire @sasha199 @wandawillow

@boufsy @owlseeyoulaterpal @lanafofana @amorgansgal

@aryancunin @miradelletarot @marlowethebard

@crimson-and-lavender @reeseykins @medra-gonbites

@roguishcat @weaverofnetheril @galedekarioswifey @hyperfixationstation128 @lastlight-inn

@astarryvamp @feedthepheasants @dabigstinky @dreamingofthewild @ladyofcrowsandcoffee

[reel-fear]

Honestly I know I haven't ever stopped talking abt this but it's so hard not to when it's so blatant but the sexism in the tfa fandom is So Obvious when talking abt Wasp and BA in particular bc of how similar they are in character, at least on some level.

Like whenever I say Wasp is a piece of shit whose never been shown to have anything but condensed malice and need to hurt ppl esp in bootcamp I always get replies saying 'oh well it probably came from his own insecurities' or 'it likely came from his own truama' but then I say 'Maybe BA lashes out at Optimus and Sentinel bc of the fact the show has shown us they had real responsibility in the accident' Or "Maybe BAs constant body issues manifesting in her doing things that actively hurt her a lot is concerning and shows deeper issues' and suddenly it's me giving a character more sympathy than their canon version deserves or that since it's never stated or shown those events can't possibly be linked.

So like. Making up shit that's never even hinted at in canon to make a male character more complex, sympathetic and seem nicer despite their bad actions is fine but you're not allowed to even point out a link that could exist between canon events that makes a female character read as more sympathetic. Like. What??

If Wasp was 'probably dealing with insecurities' never even hinted at in canon why can't I say BA is dealing with insecurities that Canon hints at and shows. Why does Wasp get to have his character explored and given this whole expansive idea of a backstory and Complexity in fanon but BA is always put down and under explored despite being a more complex interesting character From The Start. I don't think I have to make the link but God.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Contained Monstrous Family  

Thinking about being born into a monstrous family

You, a baby human lovingly in the arms of a vampire man and his werewolf husband 

“Aw isn’t our little peony just perfect!”

“Another gorgeous cub, in our pack. Good job hon!”

“Thanks!”

Inside your opulent crib with a bone ladden mobile above you and the heads of two of your eldest siblings show

“They haven’t got nearly enough fur!” your moth brother says 

Your basilisk sister scoffs,” Or any scales for that matter!”

Life is lovely for awhile 

You’re the apple of everyone’s eye as the youngest of the family

But it’d be early on when you’d discover that wasn’t all that made you different

If they had been more careful perhaps you wouldn’t have discovered what the family hunts were all about 

Chasing humans–creatures just like you–for sport

Who could blame 5-year-old you?

The school lessons you’d sneak to listen to always said to call the authorities if something was wrong

You can vaguely recall the events that followed your brain clearly walling off the memory out of guilt

Time has passed and you are a partially thriving adult

Able to support yourself and devote your time to your study of the mythical

In a movement that had recently come to light, plenty of creatures spoken about in folktales 

And your place of work was housing them

Housing was a strong word

maybe detaining and experimenting were better

As part of the maintenance crew, your job is to upkeep the creatures by their specified scientists demands

Occasionally offering your observations about whatever habits they have when it comes to eating, cleaning, etc.

As someone who’s been working with the facility for a long time so long you may not remember when you’ve become the experienced lead of your department

But you do still interact with the creatures specifically the most high-priority or high-maintenance ones

And like any other, you’ll report for duty with the newly acquired vampire 

Apparently, they’ve been talked about for their violence and intelligent ramblings

Claiming it was married to an earlier capture and the father of some others

So far it drained forty of your employees 

So now it was time for you to come face to face with this menace

You’ll wave off the security guard as you come up to the window

“Your file says your name is Villar? 

“GRAAGRH!!!”

“We won’t get very far if you keep lashing out like this. I’m in charge of making sure you eat, I suggest you get it in gear if you want to ever to see your husband again.”

At the mention of his husband the blonde vampire deflates

His black scleras morph into white 

He tiredly rests his head against the silver bars despite the skin burning

“You…will let me see him?”

You tilt your head sympathetically,” If you can comply with some of our tests. It’ll be a lot easier to make it a necessity for you two to meet if you cease killing so much of our staff.”

He growls tearing himself from the bars to glare 

“What do I have to do to see him?”

You smile flipping through your clipboard

“There’s three blood tests, four endurance tests, and intelligence quizzes for a start. That sound like a plan?”

The vampire reluctantly nods 

You look back at the camera and begin to walk out 

“Hey! What’s your name so I’ll know to tear your throat out if they lie to me?”

You smile again on your way out hushing the security guard

“I’m (Y/n). Pleasure meeting you Villar.”

The black-haired vampire loses his vitriol as he’s reminded of the little bundle he’s agonized over losing so long ago

“WAI–”

“Doctor (Y/n) your absolute genius has saved this company again.”

“I appreciate the thought, but I’m just someone trying to have a peaceful work environment.”

As planned you handle the older werewolf man

Violent, giant, and usually rotting in his corner 

He hasn’t moved much until you got involved

*knock**knock*

“Hey bud, I’ve got good news for you.”

At the sound of your voice, the werewolf Rod is at the silver bars, practically grazing them as he gets as close as he can to your little window

“Hello (Y/n), have you been eating well today?”

“Sure did but I have an update about your husband.”

He stills but looks interested

“He’s going to work with us so he can see you.”

“That is…what you want?”

“Yes and for you to do the same.”

He stands tall for once, taking an unusual air of authority

“I refuse to do anything if my conditions are not met.”

“Even if it means not seeing him again?”

He growls and turns away from the window

“Look my Uncle is not going to let me go in alone for your tests. Even if you’ve been peaceful so far, he just doesn’t want to take that chance.”

He snarls at the mention of your uncle 

“Fine. Then come in with twice as many guards but I will only agree if it’s you.”

You thank him for his time, “we’ll have to see what Uncle says.”

When you leave the werewolf man slinks back into his corner 

You’ll have to negotiate with your uncle about the most prized pieces of his collection his facility

Not to count the latest editions claiming to be related to the vampire and werewolf 

The real obsession starts because every member of the original family realizes just who you are 

And using your job as a mediator to piece together how you managed to slip out of their grasp

When Villar and Rod finally meet they nuzzle and kiss each other as they whisper to one another

“That’s them! Isn’t it? Our baby’s okay!”

“I know, now we just have to take them far away from here.”

Thus chaos is bound to ensue as they balance escaping with their long-lost human child 

With promises to pay back your abductor and all these scientists back ten-fold for the pain they’ve brought their little family

More?

[lunamadhatter99]

All for the cameras

Chapter 1

Finnnick Odair x Fem!reader

So... here's the first chapter of my Finnick series. I hope you'll like it and comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters.

I warn you, it's a slow burn with LOTS of tension. But I think it's going to be worth it in the end. ❤️❤️❤️

Chapter summary: Y/n is the Capitol's Princess. Everybody in the Capitol loves her... unfortunately for her. This first chapter is a little introduction about her role as a "support mentor".

Chapter warnsings: mention of rape, prostitution, and... it's the Hunger Games... what can you expect.

The Victory Tour is probably the one thing I like about the Hunger Games. The attention of the Capitol isn't directly at me, but at the Victor in question, especially the pervs' attention.

Everyone thinks that being President Snow's protégé is like being Capitol's Princess, well... that's just what the cameras catch, but it really isn't. I am no different from someone living in the districts.

I am a slave like anyone else.

Even though I won't have to deal with the creeps at the Capitol during the tour, I still have a job to do, I can't exactly let out a sigh of relief.

This tour is probably the hardest one I've ever had to experience. Turning a hunter into an actress for the Capitol is no easy job.

Katnis has many skills... many, but pretending to be in love with someone isn't her best. Unfortunately, her life, anyone's life, actually depends on it.

Snow made it clear to me.

I arrive in district 12 with Effie and the rest of the crew, ready to help the two victors make everything as believable as possible.

I decided to go to Peeta first, while Effie and Cinna went to Katniss.

"Yes?" Peeta calls from behind the door.

"It's Y/n," I answer.

He immediately opens the door to let me and his stylist in and pulls me in a big hug.

"I'm happy to see you," he says, almost relieved.

"Well, it's my job, pretty boy," I pull away with a smile, "how do you feel today?"

He takes a moment to answer.

"I'm okay, I guess, nervous too,"

"You'll be fine, trust me. You're a natural." I try to lighten the mood. He does chuckle, but I think it's not to make me feel bad. "Did Haymitch tell you what to expect, or did he offer a drink?"

"A bit of both," he actually chuckles this time, "more of the latter, but yeah."

"Good," I let out a small laugh too, "I guess a good thing about your situation is that maybe you two can help each other out."

"If she stopped treating me like a wounded puppy..." he bitterly says, shrugging.

"Yeah, well, try talk to her. Your situation is already hard as it is, dealing with it on your own... it's suicide."

He nods, so I decide to let his stylist work and go see how Katniss is doing.

"Hey there," I say once I enter the room Katniss is getting ready in.

"Hi," she says.

"How are you?" I ask, sitting on a chair.

"I've been better," she forces a smile in my direction.

"I figured," I send her a sympathetic smile in return.

I look around the studio, the atmosphere is quite cold despite the luxury, we are still in 12 after all. My eyes stop suddenly on the desk, that was pushed a little out of the way to make more room.

"That's..." I start, my throat feels tight all of a sudden, "That's a pretty rose."

I notice Katniss tensing at the observation.

Confirming my suspicion.

Snow's been here.

"Yeah," she flatly says. She turns to look at me, with a look that seems suspicious... or cautious, more likely.

I respond with a sympathetic look. Hopefully, she will understand I'm just as tense as her. She seems to, because she half smiles at me.

"It's showtime," Effie cheers, walking in.

"Break a leg," I say, hugging myself as I watch her heading to the door.

I take a deep breath and decide I need a drink, and the only person who can help me is a certain victor.

I sneak out from the back and walk to Haymitch's house.

"Haymitch?" I call as I knock at his door.

"It's open," I hear his grumpy tone from the inside, so I let myself in and look around for Haymitch.

"Oh!" He calls from the kitchen, "it's the Princess herself! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Care to help a lady out? I need a drink,"

"Take whatever you want," he offers, taking a sip of his own drink.

I look around at the variety of bottles on display, finding my drink of choice. I take the whole bottle.

"You don't mind if I don't use a glass, do you?" I say, sitting down with him.

"Make yourself at home," he actually chuckles at that, and I soon follow after taking a big sip from the bottle.

This is what I like more about this tour, Haymitch's company. We can just sit in total silence and still be able to give each other comfort. He's one of the very few people who knows the truth behind the Princess facade, and I know about what happened to his family.

"Ready for the tour, princess?" He suddenly asks me.

"It's the only time I get to feel like my own person again, so... yeah, I'm ready," I answer with a bitter smile, "what about you?"

"It's gonna be hard for them," he simply says.

"I know," I deeply sigh, taking another big sip, "they need us... and we need them."

Haymitch just nods.

"Things are about to change," he says, almost solemnly, "better keep those eyes open."

I send him a questioning look to which he answers with a wink. Then, a knock on the door prevents him from elaborating if he even wanted to.

"Guess it's time to go," he announes, clapping his hands.

"Let the show begin," I take one last gulp before following him out and towards the train station with everyone else.

--------------

We're heading to the first stop of this journey, distric 11. I already know this particular stop is gonna be hard for my Victors, especially Katniss. I take notice of her quietness and the tension in her body as Effie keeps in rumbling about all the fabulous things this tour will provide.

"Fabulous food, fabulous wine, the massages, spa treatments." She explains, "I told them nothing but the best for my two victors. It all needs to be..."

"Fabulous?" Haymitch finishes for her with a hint of teasing in his voice, mimicking her demeanour. I try to hide my smile into my cup in tea.

"Exactly." Effie answer, not bothered by him, "Now, the schedule is a bit of a bear. 12 days, 12 districts. But it's mostly parties, celebrations, adoring fans to greet you at every stop along the way, and then wrap it up on the Capitol. All you need to do is give a few speeches, wave at the crowds, and enjoy your time in the spotlight. You've earned it."

Oh shit.

"What did you say?" Katniss, basically, demands.

Here we go.

"Katniss." Peeta calls, trying to calm her or make her drop the subject.

"I said, 'Enjoy it, Katniss, you've earned it.'" Effie repeats.

"By killing people." Katniss scoffs and stands up to leave, ignoring Effie's weak try at scolding her.

There's silence.

"Well, isn't this a good start?" I say, holding my hand out to Haymitch, who catches on and passes me a bottle of whiskey chuckling.

I ignore Effie's glare and pour some alcohol into my tea.

My eyes lock with Peeta's, so I take the opportunity to glance at the direction Katniss went to silently telling him to go check on her. He nods and gets up to follow Katniss.

Haymitch follows him with his eyes, then turns to me.

"Are you plotting something?" He asks.

"Not at all." I simply answer, "they need to stop avoiding each other like the plague when they're not on TV. It's better to pretend to be in love with a friend than a stranger."

He simply looks at me nodding, impressed.

Effie lets out an annoyed puff and walks away.

Once she's out of the carriage, I turn towards Haymitch.

"Anything to say about my eyes?" I ask, hinting at the conversation we had back at his house.

He simply smiles and pours some more alcohol into his glass.

"Just keep 'em open, princess," he says, "wide open, guard up."

I roll my eyes, "Alright, alright. I will. Anything else you wanna share?"

"Did you hear from a certain fisherman?" Haymitch asks, instead of answering my questions.

"I don't know what you're talking about. " I say shrugging, and I take a sip from my cup.

"Mh," he hums, "isn't he the first Victor you helped train?"

"Why all these questions?" I slightly snap.

"No reason. This is the first time we get to properly bond, don't wanna waste it,"

"You want to bond?" I let out an incredulous laugh, "why?"

"I just proclaimed myself your... father figure," he opens his arms to present himself.

"Okay..." I trail off, standing up, "Whatever you say,"

I start to walk off, too, shaking my head slightly laughing.

"Oh, c'mon!" I hear him yell and laugh.

I shake my head while I'm heading to my room to rest a bit before we arrive in district 11.

As I lay on the bed, my mind can't help but wander to said fisherman.

Finnick freaking Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games.

That was my 4th time assisting the mentors in preparing the tributes for the games. At the time, Snow wanted the people to see me more involved in the making of the games since they 'love' me so much. The president saw this as an opportunity, I saw it as a punishment, having to help train tributes, some of them being my age only to see them get killed. Then the 65th Hunger Games came, and so did Finnick. We were the same age, bonding was inevitable, even though he was cautious... which was understandable, but we managed before he had to go into the arena.

When he won, I was the happiest I've ever been. Then when he came back he was changed, again, that's understandable, but he started to push me away... with no explanation.

Then we both turned 16. Then we were forced to be close again.

----------

A knock on the door pulled me away from my thoughts, Haymitch's voice warning me we had arrived in district 11, and it was time to go.

We get out of the train, expecting some people celebrating and stuff like that, but nothing of sort. Effie is quick to express her disapproval.

They lead us to a car and let us in, where Effie start to explain the situation to Katniss and Peeta.

"The mayor will make some introductory remarks. And then you just have to say a few words." She says, "it's customary, of course, to give a brief eulogy to the district's fallen Tributes. For 11, that's Thresh and Rue. Here are the speeches."

Effie hands some piece of paper for them to take, I see Katniss' expression falling even more at the mention of Rue, predictable, so Peeta offers to be the one doing the talking. Katniss' grateful face almost breaks my heart, I'm... sort of used to see children die in the games, she wasn't... worst of all, she built a friendship with her.

"You got this." I say to them both, Peeta sends me a kind smile, while Katniss nods and takes a deep breath.

We arrive at the Justice Building, where we all wait for the mayor to call the Victors out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Katnis Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

Once they are out, we get to see them through a screen.

"Thank you," Peeta says into the microphone, while Katnis is staring at something, I can imagine it's Rue's family. "We're honoured to be here with you today. And to be with the families of your fallen Tributes."

There's a long pause, Peeta glances at the cards in his hand and... put them down...

"He put down the cards." Effie gasps.

Haymitch tries to shush her, and she slightly snaps, "Why do I bother?"

I lock eyes with Cinna, who's standing next to me, we share a questioning look before looking back at the screen.

"Though they fought and lived with honour and dignity until the end... both Thresh and Rue were so young. But our lives aren't just measured in years. They're measured I the lives of the people we touch around us. For myself, for Katniss, we know that without Rue and without Thresh, we wouldn't be standing here today." He really is a natural. "So in recognition of that, knowing that it in no way can make up for your loss, we'd like to donate one month of our winnings to the families of the Tributes, every year, for the rest of out lives."

Oh, oh...

"Oh shit," Haymitch comments, and I bring a hand up to my open mouth shocked.

"Can he do that?" Cinna asks, though, I think he already knows the answer.

"He can't. But he did."

"Why doesn't he just stick to the cards?" Effie sighs.

Peeta than thanks the audience, looks at Katniss, and starts to walk back inside.

Katniss does just a few steps backwards, but she keeps staring at Rue's family.

Then, she gets closer to the microphone.

"Oh..."

"I just wanted to say I didn't know Thresh. I only spoke to him once. He could've killed me, but instead, he showed me mercy. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay." Then her eyes are back on Rue's family, " I did know Rue. She wasn't just my allay. She was my friend. I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in a Mockingjay song. I see her in my sister Prim. She was too young. Too gentle. And I couldn't save her. I'm sorry."

I feel my heart breaking at her words. She's right. She's too fucking right.

Before Katniss could add anything, there's a whistle coming from the crowd.

A very familiar one.

A man does the same salut Katnis did on the arena after Rue's death. Everyone in the crowd soon follows, and the Peacemakers are quick to weapon up and head towards the people, who can't do nothing but clamoring.

They're clearly pointing at the man who started it all.

As Katniss tries to get to him, to stop the Peacemakers, she is sized by two of them and forced back inside.

The man was dragged on the stage, the people are screaming, terrified. Before the doors can close we see one of the guards shoot and kill the man.

"Fuck!" I turn around, Cinna a gently rubs my back. I hear Katniss screaming and trashing around, I look back at them and see Haymitch gathering both Peeta and Katniss to follow him, he nods at mw to do the same and I do.

Once we are out of sight and ears Haymitch just snaps.

"You two have a very simple task." He scolds them, angry.

"I never meant for anyone to get killed," Katnis cries, "he has to know that."

"What are you talking about? Who has to know what?" Haymitch asks.

Snow...

"Snow. He came to see me. He's worried about rebellion in the districts. He thinks that they don't believe our love story," she explains, breathless.

I run my hand through my hair, frustrated.

"So he wants you to make them believe it? Does he thinks it will calm this shit down?" I ask and Katnis nods.

"You know, Katniss, you should told me that before I went put there, and tried to give these people the money." It's Peeta's turn to snap.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. He threatened to kill my family." She explains.

"Well, I have family, too" He replies, almost annoyed at her, "Okay? People that I need to protect."

"What about them? Who protect them?" Haymitch pressures.

I shake my head, still shocked and still infuriated.

"Katniss, what were you thinking?" Haymitch keeps going.

"I was thinking about Rue. Haymitch, please... please, just help me get through this trip. Please just help us get through this." Katniss begs, crying even more.

"This trip? Girl, wake up." He snaps his fingers to emphasise his words, "this trip doesn't end when you get back home. You never get off this train. You two are mentors now. That means that every year, they're gonna drag you out, and broadcast the details of your romance. Every year, your private life becomes theirs. From now on, your job is to be a distraction so people forget what the real problems are." He explains perfectly the 'life of a victor', it's so true it's nauseating.

"So what do we do?" Peeta asks, already composed him.

"You're gonna smile," I say, "stick to the cards Effie put effort into. And be the happy, forever in love couple the Capitol thinks you are... you'll get used to it." I say the last part with a heavy heart, knowing they don't deserve it. No one does.

Haymitch brings Katniss is for a hug, trying to reassure her, I squeeze Peeta's arm.

"We'll help you."

Peeta gives me a grateful smile, then they both take a deep breath and we all head back down.

"Eyes open, princess." Haymitch whispers to me, gently patting my back. I, again, look at him confused and just keep on following everyone back to the train.

And sticked to the cards they did.

----------

I feel like I can't breathe, I'm constricted, I can't move.

I look up and see the blue-haired guy on top of me, he's probably enjoying my terrified expression, because he smirks, he shushes me as if he's dealing with a child. He thinks he's being sweet and reassuring, while he's the complete opposite.

I try to push him away, in vain. It's like moving a wall... yet he's not that much bigger...

"Sshh, sweetie... it's okay, I'll take care of you." He says, caging me in even more.

I attempt to move back, but he's faster, he opens my legs with his in one quick motion.

----------

I wake up, shaking and panting. My heart is beating so fast I'm sure it's going to explode. I shake my head.

"Just a nightmare, just a nightmare," I keep repeating to myself like a mantra.

I get up from the bed and head to the bathroom where I wash my face to wake me up more. I look at my reflection and again I repeat that it was just a nightmare.

I get dressed, I figure there's no point in going back to sleep, I don't think I would be able too, so I exit my room and head to the restaurant car where I find Haymitch. Not so surprising.

He looks up as soon as he hears me, his expression almost asleep, but when his eyes meet mine, his expression turns into a worried one.

I sadly smile at him as I sit next to him, the car is still quiet dark except for the dim light coming from a small lamp next to him.

"Who was it this time?" He asks, he's trying to not make it look like it bothers him, but I know he's worried.

"The general's son," I say monotonously.

"Aah," he sighs, "the one with blue hair?"

"Yep."

"The loyal one." He nods to himself.

"The very one, the first too." I sigh, leaning back in the armchair. "The asshole thinks that just because we 'lost it' together means he owns me."

"Was that his first time too?" I know he wants to laugh at him, but he keeps it too himself, this time.

"Yap. His father thought it was 'right about time' so he talked to Snow, who, oh so kindly, accepted. Next thing I know I'm treated like a present. Everytime he achieved something big, his dad paid for my company, every birthday too." I sigh again, more deeply, bouncing my leg anxiously. "When he got a job, I was with him. Every month."

Haymitch takes a deep breath and hands me a bottle, which I gladly accept taking a big swig from it. He then takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly, then lets go.

"He got daddy's job."

"Oh yeah. He couldn't do anything without daddy's power," I scoff out a laugh, Haymitch does too.

We, then, keep silent until it's time for everybody to come I'm and have breakfast and get ready for the final stop.

The Capitol.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Furina, Ei and few more characters of your choice with a S/o who is comically bad at cooking. As in they make a bowl or cereal and it catches on fire

(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Furina, Ei, Clorinde, Arlecchino, Chiori, Firefly, Stelle, March 7th, Himeko, Seele, and Natasha's S/O being terrible at cooking

(Furina) "BLECH! This is repulsive, S/O! How on earth did you mess up a simple sandwich!?"

Furina thought it was fine to let S/O cook for the both of them, but clearly she was mistaken!

They couldn't even toast a grilled cheese without something going awry!

...Granted she didn't really know how to cook either, but that was beside the point!

(Furina) "Worry not, we have prepared for this contingency. Let us eat the macaroni we have in the fridge!"

In which she promptly burned them.

(Ei) "Hm...I see you too cannot cook."

This was a problem, for both her and S/O.

This meant that S/O was unable to cook sweets.

...Oh well, that's what the help is for.

(Ei) "I will simply ask the servants to bring us dinner, it is of no concern to us."

Ei will unsubtly hint that S/O should get better at cooking and train, solely for the purpose of her not having to buy her dango.

(Clorinde) "...I admit, this is my first time seeing a cereal bowl on fire."

Clorinde doesn't know, and quite frankly she doesn't want to know how this happened.

She knew S/O wasn't great at cooking, and just let them pour a bowl of milk.

Clearly, that was the heavens punishing her for such a thought.

(Clorinde) "I know some quiet restaurants we can have breakfast in, S/O."

(Arlecchino) "I am impressed, S/O. I did not know it was physically possible to mess up this badly on scrambled eggs."

She knew one thing, and one thing clear.

For the love of the Archons, do not let S/O near the stove during the barbecues.

Arlecchino knew this was beyond help or training at this point.

(Arlecchino) "Make sure to clean the pan well. And do throw away the bag once the eggs are disposed of."

(Chiori) "I think this steak is still mooing at me."

By the Shogun's left tit, the steak S/O """"cooked"""" was raw.

She knew she had to be blunt, lest someone get killed trying to be polite and eat S/O's impersonation of food.

(Chiori) sigh "Here, let me do it. If you need me to cook next time, just ask."

(Firefly) ACK! "A-Ahem, sorry...I can order us something if you'd like, S/O!"

Firefly has a sympathetic look that she gives S/O.

Cooking was hard, and she could tell S/O tried their best to make something for her, and the thought at least counts!

However, she's pretty sure her systems would register whatever S/O tried to whip up as a life-threatening object.

(Firefly) "Here, let me know what you want and I'll go grab it! My thrusters will make grabbing the pizza no problem!"

(Stelle) "...I think I'll pass on dinner."

It broke her heart to reject something S/O made with love.

But if she ate the fruits of S/O's love, she was pretty sure she'd jut die on the spot.

Yeah, no thanks, she prefers to LIVE.

(Stelle) ...At least it's not Himeko's coffee.

(March 7th) "PUWAH! EYUCK!...U-Uh, I mean...-"

March struggles to find a way to describe S/O's cooking without resorting to spitting on the ground.

She has had some bad food throughout her travels, but holy cow did S/O's food take the cake, then throw it into a garbage disposal.

(March 7th) "...How about we try some local cuisine outside the Astral Express! Yeah, let's do that!"

(Himeko) "Hm...I think you could have a bit more seasoning."

Honestly, it could have a lot more than that, but it wasn't the worst thing she's tasted.

With a little bit of help, Himeko would get S/O to cook like a pro in no time!

Besides, S/O enjoyed her coffee, so she should have the same courtesy, even if the rest of the Express crew wanted neither of their courtesy cooking.

(Himeko) "How about we do a few taste tests? I bet that can help!"

(Seele) hurk! "Holy hell, what did you put in this?!"

Seele isn't exactly picky about her food, but this wasn't food.

This was poison, one that she almost ingested.

(Seele) "We gotta do something about that cooking of yours, S/O. We could use it as a lethal weapon the way it is..."

(Natasha) "E-Er...I don't think this is my preferred palette, S/O. No offense, of course."

Natasha's usual food of choice was edible.

She had no idea where S/O learned to cook, but wherever it was, they clearly had never tasted anything remotely like actual food.

But, it also made sense, considering they were underground for a very long time.

(Natasha) "Would you like to join me the next time I cook something, S/O? It'd just be something more akin to my taste, is all." Like something a stomach can actually digest...

[works-of-fanfiction]

The Love of Another - Part Two || Cillian Murphy x actress!Reader

< Previous

Summary: After meeting on the set of Peaky Blinders, Cillian and Y/N struggle to keep their relationship professional.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, angst. Some (pretty cringe) fluff at the end.

Word Count: 5.7k

 a/n: thank you so much for the lovely feedback on the first part of this! I haven’t written anything multi-part in literal years, but this was fun. some chunky sections of dialogue here, hopefully easy to follow! enjoy x 

(Paul is Paul Anderson and Sophie is Sophie Rundle (if that wasn’t obvious already). Y/N’s character in the show is not canon/replacing any of the actresses, just feel free to use your imagination and slot her in somewhere! it is yourself after all.)

“Would you rather have Tommy teach you to ride a horse, or Arthur teach you to box?” The interviewer asked, smiling at the actress in front of her. Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek, tapping her knee as she thought about her answer. “That’s a hard one, because both could end up with me on the floor!” She joked, looking past the camera at the crew who were essentially getting paid to laugh at anything she said. “I have to go with Tommy on this one. It’s probably the least dangerous! Plus, who doesn’t love watching Cillian ride those horses?” The two women laughed together before swiftly moving onto the more serious questions about Y/N’s debut in the series. “I’d have gone with Arthur.” Y/N’s husband sneered, lowering the volume on the TV. Behind him she was sat at the table, re-reading the new scripts she’d been sent and familiarising herself with the lines.

“They pay me to say stuff like that, you know.” She declared casually, not bothering to look up from the page. He turned around and watched as she scribbled down some notes, mouthing words to herself quietly.

“They pay you to brown-nose Cillian?” He scoffed, leaning on the back cushion. Dropping her pencil with a sigh, she finally looked up with raised brows.

“Yes. Just like I got paid to brown-nose every other man I’ve worked with.” She quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes, and twirling the pencil between her fingers. She waited for him to respond, but the snarky comeback never came. A smart choice on his part.

Despite her only having met Cillian once, her husband still had this bizarre idea that they’d spent every waking moment together during filming. Y/N had become too exhausted to argue about it. Her career and her future in Peaky Blinders was a lot more important than her husband’s petty jealousy, and she certainly wasn’t going to throw away the role of a lifetime because of him.

“Y/N… Your line.” The prompter called, waving the script in the air and tapping the page with her pen.

“Oh, sorry. Can we go from the top?” Y/N asked nervously, looking around at the crew that were becoming increasingly impatient. What was supposed to be a quick and simple scene was turning into an hour of do-overs with Y/N forgetting small details on every take. “I’m really sorry everyone.” She addressed the room, some mumbling back, others just rolling their eyes and whispering among themselves.

Stepping forward off his mark, Cillian turned to the director. “I think we can pick this up next week. Don’t you?” He asked quietly, eyes flitting to Y/N and back again. “Long day…”

“Alright. We’ll set up for this scene first thing Monday morning, but I want it finished and perfect by lunchtime.” He spun in his chair, ordering everyone to go home and rest up on their rare weekend off.

Sighing, Y/N tugged at her hair, freeing it from the clips holding it tightly in place. Paul patted her shoulder sympathetically before leaving set, shaking Cillian’s hand on the way out. Cillian sat down beside her quietly, waiting for everyone else to filter out. Once the room was empty, he scooted closer, slipping his hand in hers beneath the table. “I had it, Cill, I had it.”

“I know.” He soothed, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. “I did it for my sake, not yours. This suit is itching.” He joked lightly, pulling at his collar. Looking up, she felt a smile creeping onto her face. There he was, being cheesy, always trying to cheer her up.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“I think the guest in your trailer might have something to do with it.”

Nodding, she looked down at their hands, at Cillian’s gentle fingers dancing along her veins. She thought about her husband; how he’d travelled all this way and spent the entire afternoon waiting for her. Yet here she was, comfortable in the arms of another man, betraying him for the thousandth time.

Cillian could see the cogs turning in her head. Forgetting to blink, she stared down at the tabletop, studying the cracks in the brown paint. He squeezed her hand softly, reminding her he was still there. “What are you thinking?” He whispered.

“I have to tell him, don’t I?” She asked, not really seeking an answer. For months she’d tried to plan a way to tell him, to come out with the truth and end her marriage for good, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. It wasn’t something she could do over the phone, but she also couldn’t bear to see him in person. She continued to pretend everything was OK, smiling through their FaceTime calls and sending love hearts whenever she couldn’t answer. ‘Couldn’t’ meaning when she was with Cillian.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do it, or when, or where, but I know I have to. I mean, it’s been a year already, and I think I just lost track of time but then  – “

“Hey, hey.” Cillian grabbed her face gently, putting a pause to her rambling. “You don’t need to go making any grand declarations today.”

“If I leave it any longer, it’ll just make it worse.”

Y/N seemed to stare straight through him, her jaw tensing beneath his fingers. Part of him wished he could fix it for her, that he could go to her husband himself and tell him the truth to save her the burden. He feared how her husband could react, knowing he had a habit of getting jealous and suspicious whenever she got too friendly with a man. He knew he could handle it but wasn’t sure she’d be able to.

“Y/N!” A voice shouted from the entrance; it was Sophie, looking for her so she could drag her to her birthday night out. The pair separated, Cillian standing awkwardly. “There you are. Come with me, I’ve found the perfect dress for you to wear tonight!”

“I’ll leave you ladies to it.” He smiled, giving Y/N one last reassuring smile before leaving the building. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was go out, but she didn’t want the crew hating her even more after her earlier fiasco, so she dragged herself to the wardrobe department and let Sophie show her the dresses they were going to ‘borrow’ for the evening.

“A vision in red! Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Paul beamed, hugging Y/N tight as she joined the group, her husband in tow. Paul made the effort to greet him - the man lucky enough to steal Y/N’s heart - as he put it. She laughed along, the pang of guilt inside her chest doubling in size. He may’ve had occupancy of her heart once upon a time, but that space had since been filled by someone else, and that someone was currently sat in the corner looking as handsome as ever. Cillian raised his glass to her, smiling, his arm flexing in his t-shirt. She nodded back, the all-too-familiar rush of heat spreading up her neck and to her face.

It was the perfect night for it, considering the football match just a few miles down the road was keeping most of the city occupied for a couple of hours. Everyone chose to pack out the pubs, leaving the majority of the bars fairly empty and ideal for the star-studded crowd to hide out and enjoy their night. It wasn’t often they all stepped out together like this, but birthdays were an exception. 

“Drink?” Y/N’s husband asked, throwing his arm over her shoulder. Leading her to the bar, he gushed about his conversation with the Arthur Shelby, and how much of a nice guy he was. She wondered if he’d speak so highly of Cillian, or if his strange vendetta would get the better of him. “Shots for the birthday girl?”

“Oh, not yet. Let me ease myself in.” She laughed weakly, drumming her fingers on the bar.

“Not even one?”

“Why? Are you trying to get me drunk?” She raised a brow, eliciting a chuckle from him.

“Well, you always were fun after a few drinks…” He purred, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. She grimaced at his words, but luckily he didn’t notice as he was too busy waving at the bartender.

He ordered, yelling obnoxiously over the music. Y/N’s eyes wandered across the back of the bar as she absentmindedly bobbed her head to the song playing, mouthing some of the words. “Oh, I’ll get these.” They both turned to see Cillian standing there with his hands tucked into his pockets, a friendly smile on his face.

“It’s alright, mate. I promised I’d get the birthday girl her first drink.” Her husband’s hold on her tightened as he spoke, his fake grin wide enough to blind a man.

Y/N stood there between the two men, her heart pounding as she felt Cillian’s stare on her face. He’d had good intentions coming over, wanting to keep an eye on her, but she wished he’d stayed put at his table. She already struggled to act normal around her husband, and her lover’s presence only made things ten times more difficult.

“Perhaps some shots then? My treat?” Cillian rested his arm on the bar, catching the attention of another bartender.

“She doesn’t want – “

“Shots sound great. Thanks, Cill – ian.” She stuttered, correcting the nickname before her husband noticed. He looked down at his wife, then back at the man beside her who calmly ordered, leaning over the bar so he didn’t have to shout. Funny how she suddenly agreed to shots when he was the one paying…

Cillian passed Y/N and her husband a shot each, and they downed the drinks together. She winced as it burned her throat, sticking out her tongue as she groaned. “Tequila! Are you trying to kill me?” 

The Irishman laughed, nodding a last thank you across the bar. “Happy birthday, Y/N.” He smiled sincerely, giving her arm an affectionate squeeze. He left the bar, rejoining the cast and crew and instantly slotting himself into a conversation. She watched him fondly, almost forgetting about the man stood behind her. Stretching his arm over her shoulder, her husband placed the drink into her hand. 

She turned and took a sip. “Thank you… Wait, you didn’t take your shot?” She asked, pointing at the full glass on the bar. He shook his head, taking a swig of his beer. “Why not?”

Swallowing with a loud ‘ah’, he shrugged, his expression blank. “I figured it was a moment to be shared between the two of you. Here. Why don’t you have mine?” He slid the shot towards her, tapping the rim of the glass twice. “Go on. It’s your birthday after all.” 

“You’ve got some nerve. Can’t you go a day without starting this bloody argument?” She hissed, pushing the shot back to him. Some of it spilt over the edge, leaving a sticky sheen on the bar. “Drink it, and let’s go join my friends.” 

“I wouldn’t drink it if you paid me to.” He leaned down to her level, trying to intimidate her, but it didn’t work. She wasn’t scared of him; she just saw him as a pathetic, jealous little boy. When he behaved like this, it made her wonder why she ever felt bad for cheating on him at all. 

“Fine. You want to be a child? Then two can play that game, babe.” She spat, turning on her heels and heading towards Cillian. She slipped herself into the group between him and Sophie, linking arms with the woman on her left. “Which one of you is going to dance with me?” 

“I thought you’d never ask!” Sophie squealed, taking Y/N’s drink. “Look after this, will you?” Thrusting it into Cillian’s free hand, she then dragged Y/N into the nearest space, throwing her arms in the air and whooping to the music. They joined hands and spun around like two girls in a playground, shouting the wrong lyrics to the song and giggling uncontrollably. 

Y/N twirled around and set her sights on Cillian, beckoning him over with her finger. “I’m not dancing!” He laughed over the music, keeping a firm grip on their drinks. “I’m guarding your drink!” 

“No, go on. It’s her birthday.” Her husband goaded, appearing behind Cillian. Y/N frowned as she watched the two men speak, unable to hear what they were saying. Sophie grabbed her and spun her around, putting her back to them.

“Shouldn’t it be you dancing with her?” Cillian asked innocently, gently placing the drinks on the table. 

“Oh… I don’t think she’s my friend at the moment.” 

Watching his wife dance, he got the sense he was losing her; that she was slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He’d noticed how Cillian watched her, that lovesick puppy dog smile pasted on his face and eyes following her every move. He had attended many an event with her past co-stars, and none of them had ever looked at her like that. To him, Cillian was showing off, gloating that he’d lured his wife away from him. He wanted to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face if it was the last thing he ever did.

Y/N stumbled out of Sophie’s grasp, dizzily making her way back to the table. “Everything alright?” She asked, out of breath and reaching for her drink. “It’s a workout dancing with her.” 

“Don’t you worry, love. Everything’s fine. I was just talking to Cillian here about you. About the two of you, I mean.” Sniggering behind his glass, he gulped down the remainder of his beer and wiped his mouth, clearing his throat. Cillian’s face contorted in confusion, his fingers gripping the edge of the table, toes curling inside his shoes out of frustration.

“What’s he said to you?” She asked, directing her question to Cillian. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be rudely interrupted. 

“So quick to jump to his defence.” 

“We’re not doing this here.” Y/N snapped, dropping her glass with a thud. “You are not showing me up in front of my colleagues, my friends.” 

“Pick a place then, love. It won’t make a fucking difference.” Her husband could be nasty when need be, but she wasn’t about to stand and take it, especially not with an audience. 

“Right - “ Cillian started, cut off by Y/N barging past them both and towards the doors. This caught the attention of her cast mates, which Cillian quickly fed a lie to before speeding after her. 

He found her outside, stood against the wall and hunched over, hands clutching her knees. “Y/N, I’m so sor - “ 

“Cillian, don’t you dare apologise for his behaviour. Do you hear me?” Her voice shook as she spoke, the sudden rush of anger overwhelming her. She slid down the wall, sitting on the pavement, her exposed shoulders flat against the cold bricks. “Who does he think he is? Acting like that in front of everyone? I could lose my fucking job.” 

“You wouldn’t lose - “ 

“Yes, Cillian. I would. If the studio… If the writers found out about this - “ 

“They won’t.” He asserted, kneeling down so they were on the same level. “They won’t.” 

She took a few deep breaths, Cillian’s presence calming her down as he crouched opposite her, his fingers resting lightly on her knees. “You know, for months I have felt like the worst human being in the world. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the cheat staring back, the lousy fucking cheat.” 

“So, you’re not perfect. You’ve done some, admittedly not great things, but I don’t think anyone in there would blame you.” 

“Somehow I don’t think they’d praise me for fucking my co-star behind my husband’s back.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes and rubbing her temple with her fingertips. “God, I’m sorry, Cillian. I’m not trying to… You’re so much more than that, I – “

“It’s alright. You’re upset… And I can handle whatever you throw at me.” He joked, reaching out to pinch her chin.

Hearing the doors swing open, the two flinched, Cillian rising from the ground instinctively. “Well, isn’t this cosy?” Y/N’s husband drawled, sauntering towards them. “So… I was right, yeah? You and him?” He pointed between them, his words directed at Y/N.

“Please…”

“Just answer me. Put me out of my God damn misery.” He threw his arms in the air in defeat, letting them fall to his sides, hitting his thighs with a loud slap.

Pressing her palms against the ground, Y/N pushed herself up, adjusting her dress as she steadied her feet. She approached her husband, and Cillian put his arm out to try and hold her back. “It’s OK, Cill.” She stood looking up at the man she once loved, her hands balled into fists at her side, thumbs picking at the fabric clinging to her legs. “You’re right. You figured it out.”

He exhaled a laugh, kissing his teeth. “I knew it.” Turning away, he ran his hands through his hair, looking up to the sky and sighing deeply. “How long?” He looked back, hands on his hips and brows furrowed. “Y/N, how long?”

“Since my twenty-ninth birthday…” She said shyly, realising just how much worse that made everything look. It had been exactly a year, pretty much to the hour, that she’d shared the first kiss with Cillian that started it all.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Well, I am sorry for interrupting your little anniversary night…” Exasperated, he took a deep breath and exhaled the air with puffed cheeks. “You know what? You are not the woman I married.” He pointed his finger in her face, but she didn’t react. Folding her arms over her chest, she stepped back until she felt Cillian against her, his hands supporting her upper arms. He whispered comforting words into her ear and her eyes began to water as she continued to stare at her husband, distant and unblinking.

Silence fell upon them, and Y/N expected more to be said, but was surprised to witness her husband turn and walk away. Anything else he had left to say was muttered under his breath as he disappeared around the corner. She and Cillian waited a few seconds to see if he would come back, but the street stayed unusually empty and quiet. “It’s alright. He’s gone.” Cillian whispered, and she spun in his arms, clinging onto him desperately.

Her thoughts felt like they were drowning in a whirlpool, like she couldn’t take control of them no matter how hard she tried. The heaviness in her heart had dissipated, but the ache in her stomach and throbbing in her head persisted. “Can we get out of here, please?” She begged, her head buried in Cillian’s chest.

“Shall I tell the others we’re leaving?”

“Just leave it. Please, can we just go?” Her voice cracked as her hold on him tightened, pieces of his shirt screwed up between her fingers.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Lying on the bed, Y/N stared at the ceiling, her fingers ghosting over Cillian’s as he laid beside her. A strange mixture of relief and dread washed over her body, making her feel weak yet incredibly alive at the same time. She wanted to jump up and down, to declare her feelings for Cillian from the highest rooftop she could find. However, another part of her wanted to hide, to burrow under the covers like a scared child until it was safe to come out. She was too afraid to check her phone; it was probably already blowing up with messages from her family and friends.

How could you? 

Who was there for you when you were starting out? Did the fame get to your head? 

He’s heartbroken! You should be ashamed. 

The mere thought of it all made her head spin, and it was far easier to leave her phone on do not disturb and pretend no one else existed for a moment. Her thoughts felt so loud, and she wondered if they both held their breaths for a moment, would Cillian be able to hear the gears twisting and turning inside her brain? Or the steam coming out of her ears? 

“Some birthday this was.” She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Am I supposed to feel bad? Like… Is this the point where I’m supposed to cry and scream about how terrible of a person I am?” 

“You can if you want to.” Cillian turned his head to the left, and she looked over at the same time, their eyes meeting in the middle.

“No… I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t. I don’t feel bad, not anymore. Is that horrible?” 

“How do you feel?” 

This was a new feeling for Y/N, for the both of them in fact. Throughout their relationship they’d spoken about everything from their favourite albums to their very particular pet peeves. They’d even spent a whole night debating the existence of aliens, sitting out on the balcony of a hotel room and bickering with each other beneath the stars. The thing they hadn’t really spoken about were their feelings, including their feelings for each other. Those three fateful words were still dangling from the tip of Cillian’s tongue, and there was so much Y/N wanted to say in return.

“I feel… Relieved. I feel free.” Clasping her hands together, she tucked them under her head. “That’s awful to admit, isn’t it?” 

“It’s better than pretending.” He rubbed her shoulder soothingly, his thumb slipping beneath the strap of her dress. “Paul was right, you are a vision in red.” 

Y/N giggled, swatting his hand away and adjusting the strap. “You are such a flirt!” 

They stayed looking at each other, studying each other’s faces as if there was something new to see. Y/N counted the little flecks in Cillian’s bright blue eyes, watching his pupils twitch and change sizes with every few blinks. He added up the freckles on her face, imagining how they’d look if they were connected like tiny constellations across her cheeks. He smiled to himself, his tongue poking out to swipe across his bottom lip. “What?” She asked, eyes squinting with playful suspicion. 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” His voice was gentle and quiet, barely reaching above a whisper. It wasn’t necessary in the room they were in. Not a single sound could be heard around them, except for their breathing and bodies shuffling against the sheets. He swallowed his words, assuming that perhaps she wasn’t ready to hear them. It had only been an hour since she confessed to her husband in the street, and he didn’t want to overwhelm her with a big declaration of love. He’d know when the time was right, he was sure of it.

Rolling off the bed, Y/N pressed a kiss to Cillian’s forehead and went to take a shower. Whilst she was gone, he looked around the bedroom, spotting various bits of his belongings scattered from the many times he’d stayed over. Filming for the series was almost complete, and it would soon be time for them to pack up their rentals and head home, wherever that may be. He thought about how things might change now that they technically didn’t have to sneak around anymore. Would people start to notice? Would they be victims of some derogatory Daily Mail headline by morning? 

Returning in a towel, Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, combing through her damp hair in the mirror. Cillian knelt behind her, balancing on the mattress as he ducked his head down to press a soft kiss to her shoulder. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the birthday you deserve.” He murmured against her skin. She closed her eyes and hummed, enjoying the feeling of his lips moving across her shoulder blade. 

“I think it was exactly what I deserved.” She whispered, turning her head to catch a glimpse of him. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he gazed up at her through his lashes. 

“There’s still just under two hours left of it. Do you think we can turn it around?”

“What do you suggest?” 

Cillian scrambled to his feet, hitting the carpet with a clumsy thud. Clicking his fingers, he pointed to Y/N, a goofy smile on his face. “You still have that wine in the fridge?” 

“You really trust me to drink wine after last time?” She raised a brow then mimed throwing up, clutching her stomach with her arm. “After last time…” She fake gagged, making him grimace.

“OK, OK! Bad idea!” 

He stood with one hand on his hip, the other raking through his hair. Cocking her head to the side, Y/N admired the view in front of her, pinching her bottom lip with her teeth. There was something oddly appealing about Cillian in regular clothes with the signature Tommy Shelby haircut. He wore a crisp white t-shirt with dark jeans, which just happened to be one of her favourite looks on him. It was simple, yet he somehow made it the most attractive thing she’d ever laid eyes on. Her eyes followed the trail of his veins down his forearm, where they reached the hand that sat just above his waistband.

“I’m gonna be honest, that was my only idea.” He laughed, resting his cheek in his hand. 

“Cillian…” She said softly, shuffling to the edge of the mattress. “Come here.”

As he approached, she parted her legs, giving him enough room to stand between them. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he looked down, his eyes meeting hers. She looked so beautiful like this; just wearing a towel with unruly wet strands of hair stuck to the sides of her face. Her cheeks blushed a light pink, decorated in a couple of stray droplets of water from the shower. 

“Closer.” She whispered, reaching up to grab his shirt. He lifted his knee and rested it on the mattress beside her, using his hands as support as he hovered over her, lowering her until she was laid on her back. 

“Is this close enough?” He breathed, his palms flat on either side of her head. 

“Almost…” 

He lowered himself further as if he was performing a press-up, using the strength in his wrists to steady himself above her. “This will do.” She smiled, bringing her lips to meet his. 

Dropping to his elbows, Cillian weaved his hands into her hair, tugging gently at the root. She moaned softly into his mouth, arching her back to inch herself closer to him and press their chests together. He groaned, a shiver coursing through his body as the towel around her dampened his shirt. 

Pulling away from the kiss, they each opened their eyes and gazed at the other, panting quietly with heat-flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Their faces were just close enough to still be able to see one another properly without their vision blurring. Y/N sighed, her forefinger tracing the curve of his cheekbone. “Are you OK?” Cillian asked, running the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. 

“Yeah, I just…” She couldn’t concentrate with his fingers under her chin, featherlight and careful across her skin. Blinking slowly, she relaxed into his touch, relishing in the feeling of the goosebumps that prickled her cheeks. 

“We can stop if you want.” 

“No, no. That’s not what I want. Quite the opposite, actually.” Her words weren’t exactly a lie, but they didn’t seem to match the look on her face.

Worried, he flipped onto his side and laid next to her, his right hand finding a loose piece of thread hanging from the towel and twisting it around his finger. “If you need a bit of space for a while – “

“No, Cillian. Please don’t say that.”

“Alright, I’m sorry…”

“I just don’t know what happens next. Am I supposed to announce it to everyone? Do I file for divorce on Monday? How does this all work?” She laughed slightly, mostly at herself for being so clueless. “I think telling everyone my marriage is over will be the easy part. How do I tell them about us?”

“Well, the divorce stuff can wait for a bit. You don’t need to rush into anything.” He patted the bed, searching for her hand. She turned her palm upwards, letting his slide over the top and their fingers entwine. “As for telling anyone…”

“What?” She rolled onto her side, mirroring his position. “Do you think we should tell people?”

“I was going to say, is there really any need in telling anyone yet? I mean, we’ve kept it between the two of us for this long already and – “

“Yes, but that was because we didn’t have a choice.”

“I know... but just think about it. I think it would be weirder if we charged into work next week and announced it to everyone.”

She stared at a crease in Cillian’s shirt, daydreaming about how things were going to be. He was right. They didn’t need to shout about it, and Y/N certainly didn’t want to draw any attention to herself just yet. She already knew what people were going to think of her and label her as, and she wanted to delay the backlash for as long as possible; whether her husband was going to allow that was another story…

Cillian opened his arms for her, scooting higher onto the bed so his feet were no longer dangling off the edge. She followed, snuggling into him and tangling her legs with his. The silence between them was heavy, like there were a million words going unsaid. Y/N knew that Cillian was everything she wanted, but a small part of her worried about what would happen to her husband. Being married to someone for four years was going to leave a stamp on her forever, but she sincerely hoped he’d be OK, and that he wouldn’t try to inflict a war on her and Cillian. She knew in time that things would smooth themselves out and feel normal, but for now, she was content to sit in her little confusing bubble, just as long as Cillian was in it with her.

“Cill?”

“Mhm?”

“When we met earlier in wardrobe, and I spotted that box, what was in it?” She smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

“You really wanna know?” She nodded. “OK… Well, that box wasn’t actually for you.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what was in it! It was already there.”

“Cillian!” She slapped his chest playfully and he huffed, feigning hurt. “Why did you say it was for me?”

“Technically, I didn’t! You just assumed.” He laughed, watching her cheeks redden and brows knit together. “Don’t look so disappointed! Listen, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow when I give, or rather take you to your real present.”

“Now I’m intrigued.”

“That’s all I’m saying! I’m not going to spoil it.”

“Fine…” He hugged her tightly, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. She listened to his heartbeat, counting the thumps in sets of eight. Looking up from his chest, she was surprised to see him already looking at her. “What about my other present?” She whispered.

“What do you – Oh, right. That.”

She sat up, kneeling beside him so she could see him better. He rotated onto his back, folding his arms across his chest, and tucking his hands under his arms. “Y/N – “

“No, wait!” She turned her head, fixing her messy hair and readjusting the towel around her body. Turning back with a flip of her hair and a dramatic flailing of her arms, she gestured for him to sit up.

“What are you doing?”

Awkwardly crawling closer on her knees, she ran the back of her hand over his cheek, leaving it to rest below his jaw. “Cillian.”

“Y/N.” He chuckled, and she immediately hushed him. She tried her best to be serious, but laughter threatened to burst out of her. “Whatever you’re doing, please get on with it because you’re freaking me ou – “

“Here it comes…” She spoke in her best attempt at an Irish accent, cringing at herself.

“Oh for Christ’s sake.” He threw his head back, belly laughing, and she grabbed him by his shirt to pull him back. Composing himself, he bit his cheeks to refrain from laughing any more. “Sorry… Go on.”

“I love you.”

He was silent, staring at her as he ran his fingers along his upper lip nervously. He knew it was coming, yet it still caught him by surprise, hearing those words come out of her mouth. He’d heard her say them plenty of times when they were in character, but this was different. They sounded so sweet when they finally meant something, and feeling her eyes on him made his heart pound in his chest. “Too cheesy?” Y/N asked, dropping the terrible accent.

“Cheesy, but I liked it.”

Sitting down cross-legged, she reached her hand out for him which he gladly took. He kissed her knuckles softly, keeping his lips there as he looked up at her. “I love you too.” He confessed. Both their bodies seemed to slump as if a weight they’d been carrying had been lifted, and despite everything that had happened, or rather gone wrong, that night, this moment felt right.  He kissed her again, before slotting his fingers between hers and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “And we’re going to be OK.”

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've been thinking a lot about this today, but I think I've nailed down what my biggest lingering issue with s2 was - it's that I wanted Ed to get more explicit sympathy, and I don't blame the story for not doing it because I can see why they thought they wouldn't have to.

As you know if you were around as s2 was airing, one of the big frustrations was that a certain subset of the fandom thought the narrative was vindicating a read of Ed as irredeemable and Izzy as blameless. Because of this, I often found myself wishing that there were more scenes where the crew explicitly sympathized with Ed's struggles and told him outright that they still loved him. Even though the narrative was so sympathetic towards Ed, I knew how a lot of this season would be read so I wanted it to be said so clearly it would be impossible to miss.

The thing is, of course, that the writers wouldn't have assumed that necessary. Now, I do wish we'd had more Ed/crew scenes (another place I blame the budget cuts and not the writers). But they show us the crew feeling extreme guilt over mutinying on Ed and accepting him back very quickly.

They (reasonably) assumed that the audience would be able to fill in the gaps because Ed is a very likeable, sympathetic character and they (reasonably) expect their audience to like and sympathize with him. The only problem is that vocal subset of the fandom who love to villify Ed and thought their interpretation was being validated by the story up until like the last ten minutes of the finale, which was frustrating to the rest of us. The other thing is the writers (reasonably) assumed they would need to put in the work to make the audience like Izzy, so they devote a lot of time to making him more likeable, which, to those same people, came across as absolving him of any blame. It could too easily come across as an abuser (Izzy) turning the narrative against the man he abused (Ed).

I know it's because of the fandom atmosphere that I so strongly miss scenes where Ed got some of the sympathy that was afforded to the character who triggered his spiral into such a dark and self-destructive mindset in the first place. The writers couldn't have expected this and I think they made the best decisions they could with what they had. But dear lord does it make me want to write a bunch of fics about Ed getting pampered and fussed over by the crew.

[strawberryya]

rainy nights

pairing: seungkwan x reader

synopsis: Is your fiancé ready to weather the storm if your worst nightmares were to be revealed? Maybe it's just the frigid weather seeping inside, unfurling all the anxieties you've locked away, or perhaps there's more to it.

word count: 4.6k

genre/cw: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, fighting, cheating allegations, mentions of food and alcohol, a lot of insecurities in relationship

rating: sfw

a/n: autumn angst coming your way!! This is for the svthub fall-ing collab which u should check out for all the cozy fall vibes that are needed during these cold and dark months 🫶

network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

You came home to find a sleepy Seungkwan, nodding off in front of a movie he seemed to have barely begun watching. Your fiance has been working hard these past few weeks. With his newest show airing and promoting things left and right every day, you knew how exhausted he must feel. He answered your greeting with a drowsy hello as you stepped into your shared flat. The living room looked so warm even without any sun shining through the windows, the darkness outside seemingly unable to get inside through the glass panes. Quickly shaking off your outerwear you immediately ran over to Seungkwan, and the warmth he and the blankets offered you. 

“Long day?” 

Seungkwan nodded in response, smiling a little as you buried yourself on the other end of the couch. It was chilly outside, and you were cold to the bone after walking home. Seungkwan jumped at your cold feet snuggling against him in search of warmth, “My god, how are you so cold?!” 

“I didn’t realize it would be that cold outside today, so I wore my cute shoes…” you cried out, earning a sympathetic, but chastising look from Seungkwan.

Shaking his head, he told you what you already knew. “It’s fall, how could you not think it would be cold outside? What if you catch a cold?” 

“I know, I’m the one freezing because of it…” You frowned and cuddled into the blankets even more. 

Your fiance only hummed in response, having accepted your cold limbs resting against him and slowly but surely warming up. He looked very pretty tonight, his dark hair messily falling over his forehead. He had showered and changed into comfy clothes right away after coming home. You had meant to do the same, but the sting of getting into a hot shower right away after being in the freezing cold did not feel like a good idea once you had gotten inside. Cuddling was definitely the better option. And spending some time like this with Seungkwan was honestly exactly what you needed right now. It had been a while since you had been able to talk or spend time together since the both of you were working until late way too often. Resulting in the both of you being too tired to do much other than cuddle a bit or simply fall asleep. 

“Did you have dinner?” you asked, patting his leg to get his attention. He was close to falling asleep again, the movie apparently not interesting enough to keep him awake for the hour that was left. “Mm, we had a team dinner,” Seungkwan mumbled. 

“Ah, the entire crew? Where did you go? Did you eat something tasty?” you asked excitedly. Usually, Seungkwan would bring you take-away of whatever food he had eaten when going out, and you would of course do the same if you found it tasty. It was a little tradition you had created over the years. Since you both had a hard time going out to restaurants for actual dates during your busy weeks, it was easier to bring it home and share the experience once you were both home. With Seungkwan, even doggy bags had become something romantic to you. 

“It was okay, the autumn-style stew they had was pretty good though, there's some in the fridge for you if you haven’t eaten yet,” he said and let the corners of his lips curl when he heard you exited shout, he loved making you happy through small things like these. “It was me, Eunji, and a few crew people since we were the only ones left when we stopped filming today. It was pretty fun, but I think I should’ve drank a bit less since I’m supposed to film tomorrow too…” he added, making your excitement dissolve as quickly as it had appeared. 

You would’ve reassured him that it would be fine, he would do his best as usual even if he was slightly hughover. But all you could hear was her name. Eunji… Seungkwans university girlfriend. The model-looking actress who was working on the same show as Seungkwan this time. She was his first true love. She is gorgeous, kind, and worst of all: you even find her likable. 

You aren’t a jealous person, you never have been. But when it came to her… you couldn’t help but feel inferior. It was hard to speak about that with Seungkwan, he wouldn’t see it how you do. 

With a forced smile, in case his drowsy eyelids weren’t covering his sight as much as you thought, you pretended to be okay with what he had told you. 

“Eunji… It’s been a while since you worked together.” 

With a slow hum, Seungkwan agreed. It wasn’t often the two got to work together on shows nowadays. It had been more frequent right after university, their past relationship hidden from the public as a close friendship, and both of their careers within the acting industry taking off. This was also around the same time he had first met you…

“She says hi, by the way.” 

“Oh, well, tell her I said hi back next time then…” 

Seungkwan had stopped resting his head on his hand, instead letting his head fall back on the pillows leaned against the armrest. Warm light from the kitchen was lighting up his soft features, making your heart flutter when you thought about how someone like him had fallen for you. And then you felt that familiar, sinking feeling that bubbled up from within and whispered in your ear: maybe your love for him isn’t enough to keep him. 

He held your heart in his hands, and you stood powerless beside him. Still waiting to see what he would do with it in the end. If he decided to win back Eunji’s heart, what would he need yours for? 

You bit the nail of your thumb, shoulders tensing up as you watched your fiance nodding off yet again. Knowing would be better than not knowing, right? It would be less painful if you could see it coming. You were engaged, but if you didn’t get married before he broke your heart it would be easier for the both of you, wouldn’t it? 

His lips sat in a perfect pout, pretty cheekbones making him a vision to look at, and still, you felt like he wasn’t truly yours to look at like this. Did he still think about what could’ve been with Eunji? 

You couldn’t help but recall an autumn night much like this one at the beginning of your relationship. Back then you had stayed up talking late into the night. Both of you were tired, but not ready to put the threads of your conversation to rest just yet. You had told him about thoughts you had never shared with a partner before, things only your best friends knew about, things that were so deep-rooted within your thoughts that they affected your entire person. Insecurities, convictions, and the silly plans you saw in your future. He had understood you, at least you were convinced he had. You wanted to think that he still did. 

Back then, when the leaves were turning copper, and golden sunshine tainted your relationship he had told you about Eunji. The girl he wasn’t sure he would ever fully get over – his first true love. 

You had listened and felt like you understood what he had meant back then. You had your past relationships as well, with your fair share of guys you thought you would never get over until you had. She was just like that, time erases all, you were so convinced of that back then. 

Now, you felt differently. During the years since that first autumn, you had fallen deeper in love with him than you had ever been with anyone before. You had realized that he was your first true love. And you weren’t his. 

He was fast asleep on the couch next to you. You should let it all go, cuddle up next to him, and deal with your emotions after some sleep. But should do and do are very different things. Instead, you buffed Seungkwan’s leg yet again, his eyelids sliding open to look at you. “Mh?” 

“Am I your rebound?” you asked softly, tears stuck in your throat.

Your question seemed to catch him off guard. It took a while for the words to register in his tired brain. “What do you mean by that? I don’t even know what the fuck you want me to answer to that.” He barked out as he squinted at you. 

His tone was snappier than you had expected. All of your worst fears about your relationship swarmed your thoughts, and his tone made you feel like he had something to defend. Like your words had rung true, that you were just a rebound, even though he hadn’t said it straight up. 

“I mean what I said, am I your rebound? Do you still think about her?”

“Have you lost it? I can’t mention Eunji to you without you getting jealous about it?” Seungkwan had stopped trying to adjust his tired eyes to watch your expression, too tired and tipsy to take your questions seriously. It wasn’t the first time you had become overly worried about the smallest thing. He didn’t pay it too much mind and usually made sure you got some peace of mind. But tonight he didn’t want to be the one to calm your mind – he wanted to sleep. 

“Can’t we do this tomorrow instead? My head hurts.”

The tears your body was too tired to hold back came welling out, staining your cheeks. You knew it was stupid, but it wasn’t too far-fetched. People went back to their exes all the time! What made someone as amazing as Seungkwan want to stay with you instead of be with someone who was both a whole lot prettier than you and also famous in the same industry as him? She probably understood him better than you, maybe he was her true love as well. You kept making yourself more and more riled up, the longer Seungkwan kept his eyes closed, his arm now covering his tired eyes. 

“Why can’t you just tell me that you miss her? I know you do.”

Seungkwan sighed, he was getting annoyed with you now, you felt it. “You don’t know what I'm feeling. Why are you trying to start a fight?”

“I’m not trying to start a fight! I just want you to be honest with me! We don’t talk anymore and I just want to spend some time with you, and I know I can’t blame you for that, but I just… You don’t even seem to notice how much more time you spend with your ex compared to me, your freaking fiancee! So I just want to know now, before it’s too late if you even want to be with me.”

You were sobbing, desperation, anxiety, and weeks of exhaustion all washing over you at once. It was all too much, and you just wanted him to comfort you. 

“Please, just stop overthinking, I really don’t know where you got all that from… let’s just go to bed and we can try and fix all that tomorrow. I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Deal?” You sobbed. “Am I something you have to deal with? Why are you being mean? I just want to know who you even love…” 

“My god, what the fuck are you talking about? I’m so tired, I really cannot do this right now.” Seungkwan groaned, throwing the blankets off his body and walking off towards the bedroom. You didn’t say anything when he slammed the bathroom door a bit too harshly, quiet rage simmering inside of you. He seemed like he would be okay even if you were to walk out right at that moment, he didn’t even seem to care about your tears or your feelings one bit. Would he have cared if you were Eunji? 

“Fine!” You yelled towards the closed doors separating you from your fiancé. “I won’t bother you then!” 

Quickly you shoved your feet back into your shoes, throwing your jacket on, and slamming the door behind you when you left. It was childish, you knew it was. You wiped at your tears, the wind helping you dry off a little, and the cold making you question if you shouldn’t go back instead. 

But going back wouldn’t solve anything. Staying away for now was best for everyone. You needed time to cool off, time to somehow talk yourself down, and reason with your anxieties enough to go back without crying and asking stupid questions again. 

You could call someone, sleep somewhere else, and try again tomorrow night after work. Before you could even finish making up a plan like that you realized that you had left your phone at home. You hadn’t brought anything but the few things already in your jacket pockets. Under a streetlamp you checked what you had: gum wrappers, a spare charger, and your wallet. At least that would be useful… 

You weren’t sure you wanted to talk about it yet anyhow, and it was too late to barge into someone’s place unannounced. Nevertheless, you would need to find someplace warm soon, the autumn wind blowing up golden leaves around you was already biting at your skin. You decided running to the bus stop and heading further into the city would be the best idea right now, hoping to find some restaurant that would stay open even this late on a weekday. The cold had almost made you forget about why you had even gone out, but the wound of his distant words was still fresh, and your heart ached even as you ran towards the bus. 

Seungkwan heard the door slamming shut behind you, it echoed through the house. 

“Where are they even going?” he grumbled to himself. 

He could’ve gone after you, but he wasn’t ready to face you yet, he couldn’t stop being mad about the whole conversation. He wanted to fall asleep. He wanted to forget that you had doubted him, that you had cried because of him. To Seungkwan it wasn’t even a possibility that he would ever get back together with Eunji, she was a part of his past, and now a colleague. Nothing more. He thought you knew that. 

It was impossible to stop thinking about the way you had sounded so hurt, so painfully weak while you asked who you were to him. The annoyance and anger over how you had started a fight over nothing was slowly but surely morphing into worry the longer he thought about it. 

His head throbbed as he tossed and turned in bed. He still hadn’t been able to fall asleep, his mind and body too busy trying to listen to the door opening, and the faint sound of your footsteps on the wooden floor. It was always easier to fall asleep when you were beside him. For hours he tried to get his mind to let go and give him some rest before you would come home and he would try and make things right. 

He wasn’t blameless, after all. If you thought he was able to do something like that he was partially responsible, he thought as he stared into the darkness surrounding him. Should he try calling you? If he knew where you were, even if you didn’t come back home tonight, maybe he could get some sleep and apologize for his response. He had been tired, but he knew he couldn’t blame that entirely. You were tired too. It had been a long week, and he didn’t even welcome you home like he wanted to. 

Picking up his phone he was started by the bright blue light that hit his sleepy eyes. He dialed your number, hoping that you would at least pick up. 

The beeps as he waited for you to pick up sounded throughout the empty bedroom, but a faint buzzing sound traveling from somewhere further away was distinguishable after a while. Were you still home? Had you never left? He ran up before he could think twice about what to say if you were sitting out there after all this time. 

You weren’t there though, your phone ringing alone on the counter where you had left it along with your house keys and bag. “Shit, she ran out without bringing anything?” 

Seungkwan’s hand brushed through his hair, head hurting as he felt the anxious thoughts about where you could have gone and if you were safe and warm arise in his mind. What if you were outside freezing in the cold, refusing to come home because of him and his mean response? He thought about running out to find you again. But it had been hours since you left. There was no way he would be able to find you wandering the streets at this hour. He pulled open the front door, the chilly autumn breeze giving him goosebumps. The leaves were wet and stuck to the shining asphalt outside. Rain drizzled and the wind forced the tiny drops inside. He quickly shut the door again, leaving it unlocked in case you came back without him noticing. You didn’t have your keys after all. 

Now he felt even worse. Had he done enough to reassure you that he was as madly in love with you as he felt he was? What had made you doubt him? When would you come back? It was overwhelming, his mind spun, and he had no control over himself anymore. 

Seungkwan decided that it was best to not spiral too far before he knew that you were safe. He called everyone he could think of. Your parents, your best friends, and even some acquaintances who lived close by. Only a few picked up, it was past midnight on a workweek after all. The few who did were more confused than anything. Nobody had seen or heard from you, and why was he calling this late at night looking for you? Had something happened? He didn’t know how to answer the questions they all asked. Once he knew that you weren’t there he simply hurried to apologize for disturbing you so late before hanging up and trying the next person. 

But you weren’t anywhere. Nobody had seen you. Nobody had heard from you. Which wasn’t strange, since you had left your phone behind. Seungkwan held his face in his palms, staring at his list of contacts, there was nowhere else you could’ve gone. He had called everyone he could think of. You might have been with one of the people who hadn’t picked up, of course. He tried to tell himself that you were safe and warm, asleep at a friend’s house. He imagined your tears dried, and your resting figure under a blanket. Safe from the storm that was continuing to pick up outside. 

“She’s ok, I know she is,” Seungkwan mumbled to himself, hands rubbing against his features, legs unable to stay still where he sat at the kitchen counter. Hoping that someone would call back and tell him that he could relax for even a couple of hours. 

He slanted over to the couch. Once again he tried sleeping but woke up every twenty minutes, the weakest sounds of wind outside waking him where he lay, your next to his on the coffee table. It had been left behind just like he had. You had just fucking left. And now you were somewhere out in the cold or at some friend’s house seething about what a dick he was. And he was. But couldn’t you have stayed at home and let him know how much of a dick he had been instead of leaving him all alone? 

As he dozed off he could hear your laughter, he remembered it so clearly he almost thought you had come home. It wasn’t real, he could recall the day when you had been laughing just like that. A couple of years ago, on an autumn day much like today, you had moved in together, into this house. You had been so excited, and he had never felt so fond of someone as he had that day. Seungkwan had always wondered what it would feel to fall in love with someone over and over again, but with you, he had found out. Every day he found a new thing about you that drove him mad. The way you pouted, when you sang in the shower, how you would kiss him goodbye even if he was sleepy and had morning breath. It all made his heart beat an extra beat, and always put a smile on his lips. You had rolled out the carpet beneath the couch he was on right now together. You had been adamant about making sure that he got two dozen kisses before you got up from the floor to continue unpacking, leaving him chuckling on the new carpet, looking up after you as you made the house into your home. 

He had been so happy back then, and you had a magic about you that could make him happy still. 

And somehow, he had made you doubt how much he loved you. He didn’t know how, but recalling your tears as he ignored your worries last night made his heartache. A silent tear fell from his eye, waking him from his sleepless dreams. 

That first night when you had begun living your lives together in this house you had baked an apple pie. You said that the house needed to be told that someone was being loved inside of it again. Apparently, a house found out that love was present through the scent of freshly baked pies. It had made him laugh back then, but he had loved that pie. The memory gave him an idea. 

Because, if he wasn’t going to get any sleep, he might as well do something other than sit around worrying all night. 

It took him a while to follow the recipe in your favorite cookbook, he wanted to get everything just right. Carefully peeled apples, sliced and covered in butter, sugar, some flour, and a lot of cinnamon were placed gently in a pan. He had some trouble getting teh dough perfect, but after a second try, he managed to cover the filling with a thin layer of what soon became a flaky crust, a heart visible from the tiny cuts on top decorating it. 

He stared at the pie from across the kitchen floor the entire time it baked. A hundred different ways to apologize, argue back, and confess his undying love swirling around in his mind until the buzzer went off. 

When the pie stood on the rack to cool off, and the oven was turned off, Seungkwan sank down on the floor yet again. His back was against the cupboards, and his eyelids were heavy with sleepiness. He let it wash over him this time, knocking him out swiftly, and leaving him sleeping sitting up where he was. 

The rain had soaked your hair on the short run from to and from the bus. The restaurant had closed, and one of the servers had gently woken you up from your agitated sleep. You had been a bit embarrassed about having fallen asleep and leaned against your table like that, apologizing for being a nuisance to the staff while quickly paying and running out into the rainy night. 

You wanted to go home and sleep in your bed, next to Seungkwan. There hadn’t been much of a choice at that point. It was in the early hours of the morning, and the last shop had closed for the night. Home was the only place for you right now. 

The door blew open faster than you had intended for it to, the wind grabbing ahold of it as you tried to escape the cold rain. Inside it was warm, and a sweet scent filled the space, confusing you more than anything had that night. You dropped your wet jacket on a chair, mind trying to tell you to go dry off your hair, but feet dragging you towards the kitchen, too curious about what could’ve created the delicious smell of apples, cinnamon, and buttery dough. 

In the dim light from the kitchen counter lights, you found Seungkwan. Asleep on the kitchen floor, with tear-stained cheeks, and flour on his clothes and in his hair. You didn’t know how he had been able to make such a mess. You had only been gone a couple of hours. 

He made you afraid of everything that could take him away from you, and yet you couldn’t help but love him. 

You looked at the picture-perfect pie on the counter and knew you would never be able to leave him. He was your person, he had been your person since the day you had first met during that rainy fall, and he would continue to be your person until the day you were no longer on this earth. 

You bent down to him, brushing away some flour from his soft cheek. Reddened eyes blinked back at you, seemingly not quite sure if they were awake or still off in dreamland. Seungkwan’s arms wrapped around you quickly once he knew with certainty that you had come back for real. You embraced him back, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. You pulled back from him, whispering “I’m sorry,” and getting an equally apologetic look back from your fiancé. 

”I have been yours for years, please believe me when I tell you that I can’t imagine a future where you are not the only person I love.” He whispered, wiping away a water drop from the side of your face gently. You nodded, you did believe him, most days. But you felt like you needed to explain yourself, explain why you couldn’t escape your doubts about how long you would get to keep him to yourself. 

”I wouldn’t be able to do the same.”

”What?” Seungkwan’s thumb stopped moving on your cheek, confusion visible on his face. 

You took a deep breath. ”I wouldn’t be able to move on with someone else if we broke up, because you’re my first true love… and she’s yours. So how can I believe you?”

He fell silent. He remembered the words he had used that first autumn with you. ”My first true love.” Had you been hung up on Eunji all these years simply because of those words? He had thought you were only jealous of her or didn’t trust him enough. But it was his fault, to begin with- 

He hadn’t reassured you enough, he saw that now. 

”Eunji was my first love, that’s true.” He nodded slowly. When his warm hands slid up to hold your cold cheeks you could smell cinnamon on his skin. ”But I want you to be my last true love.” 

Tears fell from your eyes, ”Couldn’t you have said that earlier?” You sobbed out, ”I drank way too much for a work night…”

This made Seungkwan chuckle. His forehead pressed against yours as you both cried silent tears on the kitchen floor. ”I thought you knew.” 

You hugged him tighter, folding yourself into his warmth and his overwhelming love. ”I’ll make sure to tell you every single day from now on,” he whispered before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[waywardxwords]

Chapter 1 - Rules Were Meant for Breaking (Taking Chances)

Summary: You meet a mysterious man on your flight. When a long travel day turns even longer, you find yourself breaking all of your personal rules as you get to know the stranger.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader (no real romance happens in this one, though I am actually considering making this into a series so there may be more to come!)

Word Count: ~3k

Warnings: Slight language

A/N: This was meant to be Day 13 of the #flufftober (@flufftober) challenge. I had to travel for work this week, so it's late. Oops! The prompt was: Wrong (...). I hope you enjoy!

This day had felt like it would never end, but you knew it had only really started as you planned to head into the office for a handful of meetings. You boarded your flight from Atlanta, Georgia to Salina, Kansas. Flying Southwest, you had landed an aisle seat as you ensured you checked-in exactly twenty-four hours beforehand. 

A tall, built man eyed the aisle seat on the row next to you. He lifted his duffel bag to the overhead luggage bin and plopped his backpack on the floor under the seat in front of him. You could tell he wasn’t a frequent flier, as he sat and quickly buckled his seat belt. You smiled to yourself, but popped your earpods in your ears and listened to the audiobook start to play. 

Out of your peripheral vision, you eyed the man carefully. You’d be lying to yourself if you thought he wasn’t attractive. But you knew better than that. The career you had started years ago had become something important to you, and while the work was hard and the days were long—you were proud of your accomplishments and independence. There wasn’t any room for an attractive man in your life. But you couldn’t argue with the fact that he was nice to look at. 

The plane took off without incident, but you couldn’t help but notice how the passenger to your right gripped his arm rests as you moved through the bumps one would during take off. 

Everything changed, though, as you approached Kansas City. The ding of the intercom system throughout the plane sounded over the words of your audiobook, and you reached up to pause your earbud. 

“Good afternoon, folks, this is your captain speaking,” the man’s voice sounded. “Unfortunately we have some inclement weather in Salina and we’ve been told by the Air Traffic Controller that we can’t land right now. We are going into a holding pattern. I’ll update you as soon as I know more.”

There were a few grumbles and groans amongst the passengers, but this wasn’t anything too new for you. The man in the aisle seat next to you caught your attention. 

“Great,” he groaned and closed his eyes. You were drawn to the way his jaw muscle tightened as he clenched his teeth. 

“I hate when they have us go into a holding pattern,” you offered him a sympathetic smile. His green eyes popped open as he looked back at you. 

“Is this a thing? Does this happen a lot?” His questions confirmed your earlier suspicions–he wasn’t used to flying.

You shrugged with a small nod. “Eh, sometimes. I’ve noticed it happens a lot in Kansas with the tornadoes and all,” you explained. “Usually we’ll circle for a bit and then get the clearance to land.”

He nodded as he processed your words. “Here’s hopin’ that clearance comes ASAP. I just wanna get off this damn plane.” You nodded in agreement. As you circled, you closed your eyes a bit, in hopes that you’d soon start to feel the plane begin to descend and the landing gear move into place.

But that didn’t happen. After forty-five minutes, the ding sounded from the intercom once more.

“What now?” The man grumbled as you peeled your ears to listen over the hum of the engines.

“Sorry folks, we are being told that we are not going to be able to land for the foreseeable future. We have decided to head back to Atlanta where we will re-fuel and get a new crew assigned. We will have to wait to hear from ATC on when we can return to Salina.” The groans and grumbles from everyone aboard the flight were audible now. You closed your eyes in annoyance, but when you opened them, you felt bad for the man next to you. He seemed visibly upset as he ran his palms against his jean-clad thighs. He leaned forward a bit to try to catch a glimpse out of the window down his row, and his left foot bobbed up and down as he tapped it against the floor of the plane.

You leaned towards him across the aisle a bit. “Sorry, I know that’s probably not what you wanted to hear.”

His head turned back towards you. “Yeah,” he breathed. While he still seemed nervous, you could tell he was trying to hide it. “This ever happen to you before?”

“Once,” you nodded. “The airline took good care of us, though. Usually, they offer up free booze as a consolation prize.” You said with a smile.

His eyebrows raised as he processed what you had said. “Hm, now that’s something I could get on board with.” You chuckled softly with a nod.

You put your hand out and offered him your name.

“Dean,” he smiled back at you and took your palm. His hands were as large as they looked, and you felt like his grip almost swallowed yours. 

“Nice to meet you, Dean,” you managed to practically squeak out and hoped he hadn’t heard how unsure of yourself you were over the roar of the engines. 

Over the course of the two hours it took to get back to Atlanta, you and Dean busied yourselves with conversation—you learned he had a younger brother and the two of them had taken on the family business (though you weren’t really certain what the family business was, exactly. Dean hadn’t gone into great detail, but something about extermination?). The brothers lived in Kansas, born and raised–but they traveled a lot by car. He shared that he would rather spend twenty-four hours driving than get on a plane, but he had an urgent matter to attend to in Atlanta and driving just wasn’t an option. He didn’t speak about his parents, and you chose not to pry. But he was funny, and quick-witted. Two things that only added to his physical attraction. 

“Flight attendants, prepare for landing,” the pilot’s voice spoke over the intercom once more. 

You were glad that Dean seemed a little more relaxed during landing, given the circumstances. But you also wondered if he had put up a mask for your sake, to not seem nervous or afraid. 

Once the plane touched down and taxied to the gate you had departed almost six hours prior, the flight attendant came over the intercom. “Alright folks, we know it’s going to be at least an hour before we can give you additional updates. You’re free to get off of the aircraft, but please stay in the terminal. We will call you back to the gate once we know more over the PA system.” 

Passengers started to stand and gather any personal items they wanted to take with them. Your eyes traveled to Dean, and you realized he was watching you. 

“Wanna grab some food and a drink?” He asked, almost cautiously. 

No harm in that, the thought rang through your brain. “Sure,” you nodded, with the simpler answer. Dean held out his hand in a gesture for you to lead the way. 

As you exited the aircraft onto the jet bridge that led the way from the plane to the gate, Dean struck up conversation again. “You know this airport better than me. Any ideas on where we could go?” 

“Hmm,” you hummed as you processed what was in this terminal. “Atlanta doesn’t have a lot, but I know there’s a Longhorn Steakhouse in this terminal.” You suggested. A quick glance to his face confirmed that it sounded good to him. 

“Steak and beer? My kinda place,” he smiled. His smile sent a shiver down your spine. While you held tight to the fact that dating wasn’t in the cards for you–especially with some stranger from Kansas who you would have otherwise never met–you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy that you would get to spend a little more time with the handsome, mysterious passenger from your flight.

“Let’s do it,” you grinned as you walked dangerously close. For every stride he took, you felt like you had to take two in order to keep up. 

It was a short walk to the restaurant, and thankfully there weren’t a ton of people, so you were able to find a quiet table towards the back. It was a small half-booth, so you and Dean sat on the same bench with a table top just in front of you.

“Welcome to Longhorn,” the waitress beamed as she placed two drink napkins down in front of you both. “My name’s Casey, can I start y’all off with any drinks or an appetizer?” She asked as she produced a notepad from her front apron.

“I’ll have a glass of cabernet and water,” you smiled at her as you looked over the menu. “No appetizers for me.”

“Coors for me, if you have it,” Dean’s eyes wandered the menu. Casey nodded. “No apps for me, we’ll just take a minute to look over the menu.”

“Sure thing, I’ll get those drinks right over,” Casey headed back for the bar.

You didn’t realize you were staring at him until Dean’s tongue darted out to wet his lips and his eyelids fluttered slightly as he read over the menu. The lighting in the steakhouse was dim, but the hanging pendant over the table cast a yellowish glow across his features. You hadn’t noticed his freckles before, but swore you could have counted them under the glow.

“So,” Dean’s gruff voice interrupted your thoughts and you hurriedly looked away in an attempt to not get caught staring. “What are you getting? The porterhouse is calling my name.” 

“Oh, uh, you already decided?” How long was I staring? Your thoughts ran together as you quickly tried to look over the menu.

“Steak is easy, sweetheart,” he chuckled softly as he glanced back down at the menu. He almost cut himself off as he realized sweetheart had just rolled off of his tongue. It almost looked like he wanted  to apologize for it, or take it back–but when he saw you hadn’t flinched, he let it hang in the air. You surprised yourself by liking it…

“Hmm,” you murmured as your eyes grazed the menu. “Probably the sirloin, with loaded mashed potatoes and a mixed green salad.” You said with certainty as you closed your menu and placed it at the end of the table.

“Alright, I see you with the loaded mashed potatoes, but you can keep your rabbit food,” he put his menu on top of yours.

A laugh rumbled in your chest. “Okay, food connoisseur,” you rolled your eyes. You surprised yourself again when you gave his shoulder a playful shove. “What are your two sides?”

“Loaded mashed potatoes,” he agreed with you with a firm nod. “And the steakhouse mac and cheese.” 

“Two carbs, love it,” you teased slightly with a wink. 

“Listen, carbs have never done me wrong,” Dean teased back. “The way I see it, life is short. Eat the damn potatoes.” 

“I feel like that should be on a bumper sticker,” you mused as Casey returned with your drinks. 

“Y’all ready to order?” She asked with a smile. 

You started your order as you had relayed to Dean, but paused when it came time for your second side. You hesitated for a moment before you glanced at him. His eyebrows were raised, as if he were egging you on. 

“Ah, screw it,” you mumbled. “Loaded potatoes and the mac and cheese, please.” 

“Atta girl,” Dean seemed pleased. For the first time in a very long time, you had gone against the grain. You had always followed a subset of rules for yourself—as silly as it may sound, that even applied to food. Protein, carb, vegetable. Always. But something was different; Dean was different. 

After Dean ordered, Casey headed back to send your selections off to the kitchen. 

“I’ve never done that before,” you almost sounded giddy, but you couldn’t help it. 

Dean seemed perplexed. “…ordered food?” He asked, unsure of what you meant. 

“No!” You laughed as you took a sip of your water. “Ordered two carbs? I know it probably sounds so stupid…” you nibbled at the inside of your lip as you tried to process what you were trying to say. “I’ve always just had these rules for myself.” You took a breath as you tried to think of an example. “Okay, like: wait thirty minutes after you eat before you swim. Or don’t have sex on the first date.” The words slipped from your lips before you could stop them. But they had already landed and Dean choked on the water he had just sipped from his glass. 

“Jesus,” he laughed. 

“Sorry, that was awkward,” you felt the heat rise in your cheeks. “The point is…I’ve just always followed rules. They’re ingrained in me, I guess.”

“Darlin’,” Dean started slowly. “In my world, rules have always been meant to be broken.” 

You weren’t sure what he intended with that statement, but it made your breath hitch in your throat. Against your better judgment (or rules, rather), you raised your glass of wine towards him. 

“I’ll drink to that,” you said softly. His eyes held your gaze carefully in his before he reached for his beer and clinked it against yours. 

“To breaking the rules,” he said gently. 

“To breaking the rules,” you repeated before you both took a sip. 

“Okay, okay,” you laughed at something your newfound friend had said in this silly game you had created as you ate your meals. “Would you rather…be stuck in a ring with a pissed off bull, or travel by plane?”

“Seriously?” He managed a smile. “I can’t believe you haven’t figured this out yet, but sweetheart, it’s always gonna be anything but traveling by plane.”

“Burning building or plane?” You contemplated exasperatedly. 

“Light my ass on fire, still not the plane,” he took another swig of his second beer. 

“Jesus,” you mumbled. “You really don’t like flying, huh?” As if on cue, you heard the call for the passengers on your plane to return to the gate. You had already settled the bill, but you each pulled out cash for the tip.

“Guess I gotta face my fears at some point,” Dean grumbled as you headed out of the restaurant. 

“Aw, it’s okay,” you felt more comfortable giving him a little grief as you patronized. “I can hold your hand if you’d like.” You winked. 

He stared back at you with a confident smile etched across his lips. “That a promise, darlin’?” 

Your brain told you it was wrong, but your body chose to ignore it as you managed a nod. Dean smiled. 

As you approached the gate agent, you heard bits and pieces of conversations that didn’t sound too promising. Once you and Dean were next in line, the agent offered a sympathetic smile. 

“Unfortunately, we aren’t going to be able to get you to Salina tonight. We have an extra flight added first thing tomorrow morning, and Southwest will put you in a hotel near the airport for tonight. You can go ahead and show your boarding pass to retrieve your bags. Did either of you have anything checked?” She asked. You and Dean both shook your heads ‘no’. “Great, here are your hotel vouchers. There’s a shuttle that runs from the airport. And I’ll reprint your boarding passes for the flight out tomorrow.”

“Looks like we live another day,” Dean joked as you walked the jet bridge once more to get your carry-on bags. You rolled your eyes, but smiled. 

“My boss is gonna be so pissed,” you mumbled. “I had a huge presentation today and so much work I had promised to get done. I have a personal rule that I don’t break work promises. Ever.” 

“Look at you, little rule breaker,” Dean playfully nudged your shoulder. His words caused you to smile once more. 

“You’re rubbing off on me,” you teased back. 

Once you had gathered the items you had left on the plane, you and Dean headed back into the terminal and towards the shuttle pick up. 

You typed out a note to your boss, keeping him in the loop of your travel plan changes. Then there were a few emails, and you forwarded your presentation material to your colleague who would need to cover on your behalf. In no time, you were on the shuttle headed to the hotel. 

Dean seemed much more relaxed, but also seemed to be lost in thought a bit. “You okay?” You asked as you finally glanced up from the iPhone in your hands. 

“Oh, I’m fine,” he answered quickly. He eyed you for a moment just as the shuttle pulled up to the hotel. “Uh, you wanna hang out? We could watch a movie or grab some drinks at the bar?” You couldn’t quite place it, but he seemed nervous to ask. 

“Dean…” you started slowly. “I just think…” your words failed you as you tried to explain—your priorities were a lot different than other women your age. 

“Hey, I get it,” he shook his head. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it, alright?”

“It’s just the wrong place—” he cut you off before you could finish. 

“Wrong place, wrong time,” he smiled kindly at you. “I understand, and it’s okay.” He shrugged the strap to his duffel bag over his shoulder. “It was really nice meeting you, sweetheart. Truly. Thanks for keeping my brain busy so I didn’t worry about flying.” He smirked. 

He started to walk towards the reception desk inside the lobby. You stood for a moment and bit at the inside of your lip again. Just as before, your brain told you to stop before you could process it. 

“Dean, wait!” You called after him. Your feet carried you quickly in his direction as he began to turn around. “Rules were meant for breaking, right?” You breathed as you saw the glimmer in his eyes. He smiled with a nod. 

“Alright, then,” he beamed as he held his hand out for you to walk in first. “What’ll it be, bar or a movie? Pick your poison.” 

The heat rose in your cheeks as you pushed out every fear that had ever consumed you of following some plan or holding tight to some stupid rule. “Who said we have to choose? Why not both?” 

He chuckled. “Atta girl.” 

The feelings that bubbled in your chest left you feeling breathless, and you felt excited for the first time in a very long time.

Read Chapter 2 - Nothing to Lose Here!

Thank you so much for reading! So, while my travel experience this week wasn't this bad, I did end up having to return to my original destination due to weather and spent 15+ hours traveling on Thursday when it should have only taken me ~6ish. Lol. Not thrilled. Unfortunately, Dean Winchester wasn't on my flight, BUT that experience inspired this story!

I really love the dynamic between Dean and the reader in this one, and I feel like the story isn't finished. Possibly more to come? Let me know if you'd like to see more from these two!

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@jackles010378 @ladysparkles78 @hallecarey1 @zepskies @lyarr24 @deans-baby-momma

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[doodlegirl1998]

If Bakugou absolutely had to be redeemed, he should have been given Endeavor's character development.

Don't get me wrong, Endeavor's redemption still has a lot of issues. But unlike Bakugou's, there's actual thought put behind it. He made the choice to change without any prompting. Bakugou had to be given grace from everyone including his victim. Endeavor never made excuses for himself, he took Natsu's anger because he knew he deserved it. He willingly accepts accountability.

I hate a lot about how Hori handled Endeavor. I hate the retcons he made to make Endeavor seem more sympathetic. I hate how Rei and Fuyumi and Hawks were used as props instead of treated as characters with agency. I hate how Touya is demonized. I hate all of that.

But I can't deny that Horikoshi actually put effort into Endeavor. More than with most of his characters. If he had put half that effort into Bakugou instead of constantly glazing him and never holding him accountable for his actions, Bakugou's arc would have been a lot better

Hi @sapphic-agent 👋,

If Hori had to redeem Bakugou, said redemption should have been thought out like Endeavor's (without all the character props Endeavor had to try to make the reader like him.)

Here's how I would do it, using the reactions of the victims of Endeavor as framework.

His main victim Izuku should be allowed to be angry at him and have a life thriving away from Bakugou (like how Natsuo is angry at Endeavor and distanced himself from his dad in canon.)

A truly redeemed Bakugou should be sad but accept this in his stride, recognising that Izuku was his victim so owes him absolutely nothing - especially not a place in his life.

Kirishima should be allowed to feel disappointed in Bakugou's past actions, but like Bakugou has turned over a new leaf (like Fuyumi does with her Dad in canon.)

Mina, another supposedly staunch anti-bully character should be apprehensive / wary of Bakugou's "change" (like how Shoto is in canon with Endeavor.)

With a redeemed Bakugou, his friendship with Kirishima and the rest of the 'Kiri-Crew' should be him re-evaluating how he treats people and actively trying to be nicer.

This nuanced response and reaction to Bakugou's past as a bully as well as him trying to do better would have been a million times better than what we got in canon.

It would have made him feel worthy of being called a hero rather than a Gary Stu-esque villain cosplaying as a 'hero.'

[i-will-change-this-someday]

I saw a post recently about how people treat Jonah/Elias like he’s way more evil than all the other avatars, and I completely agree that he’s not. He is however, hateable in a way many can relate to hating.

(This ended up way longer than I thought it would, so I’m going to put the rest under the cut)

Pretty sure most people aren’t able to relate to “yeah, this guy ripped my ribs out of my chest” or “that woman engulfed my hand in flames” or even “that’s the clown that murdered my brother.”

They can relate to “ugh, yeah that’s my creepy boss” or “yeah, that person has gaslit me and tried to manipulate me on multiple occasions” or even just “that bastard, he’s always so smug, like he knows something I don’t.”

There is also of course the fact that his evil plan actually worked, so he seems more evil cause he actually succeeded in the whole apocalypse thing. And of course most of his evil actions we see had a very direct impact on the characters we all know and love.

But no, he’s not more evil than most of the other avatars, I think people just forget the other, more mundane, things to hate about other avatars.

Jared was a bully. Mike Crew had no care for the people who died in his search for an escape. Jane was a toxic friend. Jude enjoyed watching people’s lives collapse. These were things about them before they became avatars.

Also, I don’t think people are as sympathetic as they could be to Jonah. (I am NOT excusing his actions, just hear me out.)

I would say one of the most sympathetic avatars (not counting Jon) is Michael, he was sacrificed to The Spiral without ever truly knowing what was happening. (Although, he’s not really Michael Shelly after that, so you could argue Michael Shelly was never an avatar, but that’s a post for another time.)

We get Annabelle Cane’s statement but it’s vague on whether or not it was true. Personally I do think it’s true, it was a statement and I don’t think you can lie during statements, so she also has a sympathetic angle.

Mike Crew got chased by something and was forced to become an avatar just to escape it. Oliver Banks just wanted to sleep. Jane was scared and looking for love. Simon Fairchild, if I remember correctly, just loved the sky. Even Peter Lukas arguably didn’t have a choice in becoming an avatar. (I honestly don’t really remember Jared and Jude’s story and don’t care to check right now)

So many other characters get, at least some, reasons to be sympathetic or understand where they’re coming from, but Jonah doesn’t. All the old statements are of people Jonah is hurting or has stood by as they got hurt. We don’t get a statement really telling us how he became who we see today. (Not counting the fact that we do see how he “became” Elias Bouchard, via eye swap.) The most we get is his statement in ep 160, but even that’s a very brief mention to what drove him to such extremes.

So anyway, now I have some headcanons as to Jonah’s life when he was still Jonah Magnus. As corny and tragic as it sounds, I do think Jonah probably watched his family die, and not all at the same time, I think he would have seen his family die in a lot of various ways.

I think he watched his mother die from childbirth, I think he probably had some siblings that died before they were even a day old, I think what siblings he did have were away when their father died, leaving him alone with his father’s corpse, I think he probably caused the death of some of them and the guilt of that faded away to the back of his mind. And I don’t think it stopped at his family, death seemed to follow him, or at least everyone around him, his friends and colleagues, his family, even just the mere acquaintances he made during his research.

I think as the ones around him died they were all in pain, but he wasn’t, he watched with morbid curiosity as people died, saw the agony they were in and feared it. And so, what was he to do but try to best it, to avoid the suffering that everyone around him seemed to accept as inevitable.

[trashytoastboi]

Could I request a pregnancy and parental headcannon for killer I loved your others and killer is one of my favorite. I love your writing!😍😍

Heyya! Of course bean ^^ so sorry for the late reply and long wait, hope you enjoy~

Headcanons: Killer x F! S/O - Pregnancy and Parental 

(Female pronouns) 

Killer

Pregnancy

🍜 Honestly, probably some of the most unexpected pieces of news Killer ever anticipated on hearing. He had been preoccupied with survival and grandeur dreams of elevating Kid to be the pirate king. While navigating the craziness that was the grandline and the new world. So hearing {Name} tell him the news of her pregnancy was very unexpected. She waited, hoping to find an opportune moment but one never arised, so in perhaps a little more casual manner than she wanted, she delivered the news over sharing a bowl of pasta.

🍜 Well after the initial choking on his noodles, Killer had to take a moment. He gathered his thoughts, being the worry wart he weighed the pros and cons of the news. {Name} knew Killer, so his outright lack of a reaction was expected but still anxiety inducing nevertheless. “Are you sure?” Was Killer’s first words, {Name} confirmed once again and explained being checked three times by different doctors who all confirmed the news. Truth be told, Killer felt so out of depth but still he concealed a smile beneath his mask. 

🍜 Killer is the pique of information, he knows every good food, bad food, and expected symptom. Everything, in fact he was so involved that he developed morning sickness. The condition is better known as sympathetic pregnancy. Killer becomes a bit overbearing and tries to restrict {Name’s} contact with anything dangerous and begins to think in extremities. {Name} does calm him down, explaining that all that information is very vital and his concern is valid, but she knows her body as well. Sometimes all it took was placing his hand on her stomach to feel those over energetic kicks to really calm him down. 

🍜If he could, he would literally carry her everywhere. {Name} refuses, but Killer still offers all the time. To make up for this Killer does frequently insist on giving {Name} foot massages, knowing that her feet will hurt after too much walking and standing. The rest of the crew also got a tad annoyed by Killer’s baby proofing of literally everything on the ship. Or accidentally neglecting duties because he is too distracted reading all those parenting books. 

🍜Had roped Kid into preparing a whole bunch of stuff like toys, a crib and even a mobile. The crew honestly got so excited thanks to Killer that there was a silent war over who would be named the official godfather. Though Killer had already dubbed them all the uncles. Killer also grew insanely adept at sewing because he made a majority of {Name’s} maternity clothes and some babygrows, one in just about every colour. 

Parental 

🍜 Killer had been imagining the moment when he would first see and meet his child. He never knew what he would feel, or how he would react. Newborns admittedly looked a little uglier than he expected. He couldn’t fathom how such a tiny and fragile human existed. Killer never once sat and thought about how everyone started as babies, it’s not one of those things he thinks about but seeing his child and just how tiny they were, they could practically fit in the palm of his hand. 

🍜 So hesitant and afraid to hold the tiny baby. Takes a lot of encouragement and reassurance from {Name} before Killer feels secure enough to hold his child for the first time. He remembers being nervous, but also excited. The soft bundle of warmth that made some weird noises while remaining fast asleep in his arms. Much like {Name} the process of learning to be a parent was an arduous one, Killer was more afraid of accidentally hurting them than anything. 

🍜 10/10 Killer would do anything for this tiny human, no questions asked. The feelings of being a parent was not just the anxiety, the questions of if he was doing it well or even regretting mistakes where he could have handled it differently. It was an inexplicable and sometimes overwhelming feeling of love and joy even from the most mundane things. Looking forward to seeing them grow but at the same time being sad about it, a bittersweet feeling. 

🍜 In terms of how Killer tries to shape his parenting is a little on the strict side. He explains the best he can, to a level that could be understood by a child for the rules he enforces. He is permissive at times when it can be afforded and does indulge and encourage curiosity unless it something that could be detrimental or dangerous for them. On some things he is immovable and stubborn. A fair example was when he put his foot down, not allowing his babybean to eat too many sweets in fear of them getting stomach aches or cavities. Killer was devastated when they said that they hated him though. 

🍜 Before making any big decisions or needing some form of council he always fell to {Name’s] wisdom, she always explained things in a different way or could see things differently. Sometimes he didn’t know if he was doing this whole dad thing right, he felt insecure in himself despite always trying his best. He knew that sometimes his intentions couldn’t easily be conveyed or could be misunderstood. Killer truly wants the best for babybean, and constantly tries to work to achieve that.

[yellowcakeuf6]

Hearing the sad news about Patti Yatusake yesterday, it compelled me to share the segment of the fic I'm working on where my OC meets her (I wrote it before finding out about her death)

>>Arriving in the medical centre Mabel was instantly greeted by the bright and cheerful countenance of Nurse Ogawa.

The trim and petite medical ensign in her green uniform engaged her immediately and she could not help warming to her pretty smiling face and sunny disposition. 

She asked Mabel to remove her uniform tunic and sit on a bio bed, which she obligingly complied. 

“So you come from Wales?” she asked in a curious but pleasant tone.

“Yes,” at first Mabel expected the usual cue to elaborate but Ogawa surprised her.

“From what I know it was once part of the old United Kingdom, and is a very beautiful and unspoilt place with its own language and identity?”

Mabel nodded, pleasantly impressed, “Indeed it is, though I have not been back there for a while,” she replied, mirroring the nurse's infectious smile.

“Is your family living there?” Ogawa asked with genuine interest as she ran a medical tricorder over Mabel’s physique and observed the data streaming across the LCARS console.

“No, not any more,” Mabel replied, “My father passed away 3 years ago and my mother moved to a sheltered complex for older people on a Federation colony, but I’m not close to her,” she added factually.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Ogawa’s tone was sympathetic but not at all contrived.

Mabel decided she liked her.

“No worries,” she answered affably.

"Would you ever go back?“

"I don't know...maybe one day. It would be nice to walk in the mountains again. To feel the fresh clean air and enjoy the peace and tranquility. It’s a great de-stresser.”

"A lot like walking Mount Fuji,” Ogawa replied. 

“Ah - you are from Japan?”

“Yes,” Ogawa replied, her face beaming, “Have you ever visited?”

"No but I’ve seen lots of images - It has such history. I love the architecture of the ancient buildings and the cherry blossom. Is it all still there?”

"It is. Some of the old places survived the war and others were rebuilt and yes, the blossom is stunning when it’s in full bloom during spring.”

"We have daffodils in Wales, huge fields of them,” Mabel smiled, “It’s truly amazing.”

“Ooh I have never seen those flowers, you must show me sometime.” 

"Of course. I will find one of my old images and send it on to you,” Mabel promised with a grin.

Her being felt nourished by this tiny show of shared interest and it lifted her spirits knowing that at least one person here knew of her homeland.

"Well you’ll be pleased to hear everything is in order.” Ogawa said at length.

"Good to hear it. Thank you so much.” Mabel replied, reaching for her tunic.

"Maybe I will see you in Ten Forward?”

“What’s that?” Mabel asked curiously.

"It’s our main breakout and meeting centre, where most of the ship’s crew socialises.”

“Wow, it must be pretty crowded then? I mean there are so many people on here.”

“No, not at all.” Ogawa shook her head laughing. “Of course there’s other rest areas - lower decks mess hall, the sports bar, the senior officers club - but Ten Forward is the most popular. However while it gets busy it's never rammed because everyone is on different shifts.”

"Ah I may pay a visit then, thanks.”

"Any time, hope the rest of your day goes smoothly."<<

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep11: Concerning Flight

This episode is a nice change of pace after the seriousness of Year of Hell- despite the main plot of Voyager's computer core getting stolen, the whole episode feels very lighthearted, and mostly serves as an excuse for Janeway to go on an adventure with her childhood hero, Da Vinci.

Some aliens steal equipment from Voyager, so they have to go get it back. Janeway and Tuvok beam down to the planet where they've tracked it to, and have a few fun scenes of going undercover posing as traveling traders. They learn that Janeway's Da Vinci program was running when the computer was taken, so now he's been downloaded to the Doctor's stolen mobile emitter, and is working as a resident scientist for the guy who stole their stuff. There's the usual fish-out-of-water time traveller scenarios with Da Vinci, and Janeway having to explain what's going on without telling him who she really is or that he's a hologram.

Back on the ship, Seven argues with Harry, and later B'Elanna, as Seven relates to the Doctor in a scene where he comically presses her for ship gossip while he's temporarily stuck in sickbay. I have to say, I'm disappointed that they seem to be starting Seven off down the road of being disdainful and intentionally rude to the rest of the crew. In all the episodes up till now, there wasn't any meaness in Seven's abrupt replies or failures to follow rules, she just genuinely didn't understand, and that made her character a lot more sympathetic, and she'd begun to build a rapport with the rest of the crew. I was actually surprised at how much I didn't dislike her in her first few episodes, and I thought maybe I just remembered her being worse than she was because I missed Kes. But it looks now like the writing did intentionally take take a turn to making her more haughty and antagonistic as the season progressed, which feels like backwards progress.

But most of this episode is fun Janeway shenanigans, with yet another nice town square set, and some nice location filming too. I loved how the matte painting of the alien city blended into the (actually Californian) hills, and it's always nice to get the characters out into sweeping vistas and sunshine outside on real live hills. Of course they manage to rescue their equipment and escape the baddie, and it culminates with Janeway and Da Vinci escaping in a glider and flying through the air before they're beamed up by Voyager. Though the whole episode is on the fluffy and inconsequential side, the part where they take flight really did make me smile, and on the whole, I had fun, even if nothing stood out as being wildly clever or high stakes. At least it was original, and different from any other Star Trek story, which is not always easy to achieve, with hundreds of episodes of Star Trek already in existence by this time.

Tl;dr: A lightweight but amusing episode that lets Janeway have some fun, innocuous hijinks.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

The funny thing is that the writers of OFMD made such reasonable decisions with Ed and Izzy in season 2, and it's pretty much exclusively fandom atmosphere that made people uncomfortable with them.

I can 100% understand why they just used the conversation with Fang as a stand-in for Ed learning how to sit with his guilt and make amends to the crew. Ed is an extremely sympathetic character here; we know that his kraken spiral was not his choice and not how he normally acts. It is extremely in-character for his behavior to shift from kraken mode to sweet Ed as soon as he feels safe and supported again. It is extremely understandable that the crew got comfortable again with him quickly because they never stopped loving him. He never needed a "redemption" arc, he needed a recovery arc, and the show knows that. The writers reasonably assumed they would not need to beat us over the head with convincing us we need to love Ed. They thought they did that work in season 1.

The thing that led to my biggest discomfort with Izzy's arc, on the other hand, is that the writers clearly felt they needed to over-correct. In a flashback-heavy show, we don't get any flashbacks of how Izzy treated Ed in s1, which is what triggered the kraken thing in the first place. He's almost immediately presented so much more sympathetically than in s2 - the catalyst for his character development, Ed reminding him he's replaceable as first mate, happens very quickly so he can be on roughly the same page as the rest of Ed's crew. He got lots of little lines that could've gone to other characters and lots of screen time, and the obvious intention was making sure the audience likes him, which is something the writers (again, reasonably, considering how Izzy acts in s1) assumed they would need to do.

Izzy is saved by the crew despite explicitly having done nothing to "deserve" it, and that's the point. And it's because of the fandom reaction to these characters that it too easily came across as validating the read that Izzy was a completely blameless victim and Ed was the mindless aggressor. Izzy's deathbed apology to Ed did a lot to make me comfortable with his s2 arc because it confirmed that I think the writers always knew what they were doing and hadn't forgotten what Izzy did in s1, but there was a subsection of the fandom who managed to have the read that Izzy was completely blameless up until 20 minutes into the finale.

It makes so much sense that the writers assumed that they wouldn't need to beat us over the head with making sure we love Ed and went hard in the opposite direction with Izzy. I dont' blame the writers for how they wrote it one bit. It really is just because of the fandom atmosphere that it can too easily come across as Izzy getting all the sympathy Ed was never afforded.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Gonna write a bit of ATLA meta about Uncle Iroh.

Since I saw a post that rubbed me the wrong way, but in the opposite of the way posts about Iroh usually rub me the wrong way, so I'll need a bit of a lead up to explain why both approaches are wrong. Spoilers ahead.

When people look back on a story, they tend to compress it in their minds, as though everything happened all at once. People have a static image of Camelot that includes both Merlin and Lancelot, even though they were never both at Camelot at the same time.

And I think when people look back at Avatar: The Last Airbender, they look at it knowing that Zuko joins the Gaang in the end, and knowing that, they forget how Zuko looks and what Zuko does at the start of the story. Because Zuko is a pretty unambiguous classic cartoon villain at the start of the story.

He's substantially more powerful than the protagonists (look at how easily he bats Sokka out of the way.) His goals are in direct opposition to the protagonists' goals, and if he is successful it will be disastrous to both them and the world. And like most cartoon villains, he's personally a dick: he's constantly angry/impatient, he lashes out, his introduction isn't quite like Azula's where she tells the ship's captain that she expects him to be more afraid of her than the tides, but he does treat the lives of his crew as disposable in an early episode, when there's a storm. (He gets better at the end of the episode, call that foreshadowing.) He's even got a scar on his face, in the long tradition of physically disfigured villains.

And once you've watched the whole show once, sure, it's hard to see him that way. And you can point to some signs that he was going to come around -- he didn't kill anyone (that we know of), when Aang let himself be captured in exchange for Zuko leaving the village alone, he did leave it alone, rather than backing out on his promise once he could. But so what? Plenty of unrepentant villains have a sense of honor and will keep their word, makes for interesting stories.

The point I'm trying to make is: there is only so much one show can do, only so much story they can get in to one story. And in that finite amount of story, they spent a TON of time showing the audience that no matter how much of a villain someone looks to be at first, that villain is still a person.

And they also spend a lot of time showing other people are people. Random Earth Kingdom civilians like Haru. Random Earth Kingdom guerilla fighters like Jet. When we get to the Northern Water Tribe, we find a bunch of people who are just people: old men who are set in their misogynistic ways but maybe can be coaxed into changing, young men who are kind of jerks (but who still don't deserve to die at the hands of an invasive force), young women torn between their own desires and their sense of duty, people people people. And when we get flashbacks to the Air Nomads, they're people: some more serious, some more fun and flighty, just people. And when we get to the Fire Nation, they're just people.

So let's look at the rest of the Fire Nation royal family. Azula's a sympathetic villain: she's scary, she's dangerous, she does appalling things, we see her suffering and the show gives us enough information about her and her family's dynamics, the way their father played them off against each other, to see why she did what she did. Azula ends the story in a situation similar to the one where Zuko is at the start: Zuko starts having lost everything and nearly everyone who ever mattered to him; Azula ends having lost everything and everyone. And we don't see that with Ozai, all we get of a potentially softer side of Ozai is a picture of him as a small child, but it's a short story and there's only so much time and it's not really about Ozai, and surely we can infer that there is something like Azula's story in his, something going on where to him his actions made sense.

Something going on where if you had Ozai's life, his background, his circumstances, his worldview, maybe you would act the same.

What I mean is, Zuko did not become a person because he stopped being a villain. His personhood was there when he was a villain, and was still there when he joined the heroes. And Azula's personhood and her villainhood can coexist. And Ozai's villainhood and personhood, with a little extrapolation, can coexist.

And Iroh. The Dragon of the West, the general of the great siege of Ba Sing Se. He's one person. He doesn't need to be split, either you ignore the harm he did or you decide that the harm he did means he must suffer for it, must be punished for it. He can be a person, and a person who did harm, and a person who did harm for reasons that made sense to him at the time, this is all one thing, it is all there in the story, not all of it is there for Iroh because it is not Iroh's story, but if you look at Zuko's story and Azula's and Chit Sang (guy at the boiling rock they tried to escape with) and Jet and Jeong Jeong and Hama and Yon Rha and Hei Bai, and how things went down with Aang in the Avatar Day episode (ie the town that wanted to punish him for a very old murder that the Avatar did, and they were in the wrong for that even though the Avatar did kill the person they said the Avatar killed) and what happened in The Great Divide (ie that ultimately it didn't matter who was at fault) it's all there in other parts of the story, you can extrapolate.

Iroh doesn't need to be punished, not by anyone else and not by himself in the form of feeling agonized over the harm he caused (much as I love angst in fiction.) Nobody needs to be punished; suffering is bad, causing more suffering does not make other people's suffering less. And he doesn't need to be innocent and pure to not deserve punishment. He's not innocent. He did a lot of harm. We can infer that he caused that harm for reasons that made sense to him at the time, whether they make sense to him in retrospect or not and whether he actually did have better options under the circumstances, which he may well not have. We're all people. We're all people. We're all people.

Like it or not, agree with it or not, ATLA is about forgiveness, about not seeking revenge, about not increasing the amount of suffering in the world by taking an eye for an eye. The story did not punish Zuko for having started on the wrong side, even though he started out as a stereotypical cartoon villain and he would have caused unspeakable devastation to the world if he'd succeeded at his initial goal. And it would not punish Iroh for what he did. And anyone looking for either a way to completely exonerate Iroh -- pretend he has never done anything harmful in his life -- or to criticize the show for not having him punished for his wrongdoing, has completely missed the central theme of the show.

Which is not separate from any imperialism/colonialism is bad messaging you want to draw from it. The show is not claiming colonialism is bad because it sides specifically with the Water Tribe or with everyone-but-the-Fire-Nation. It's against colonialism because...colonialism is bad...for people. Who have inherent value, whose lives have inherent value, whose lives do not stop having inherent value when they harm other people. It's one message.