#and it ends on him telling another dad joke to his coworkers like they didn't just drop this massive story beat 9 minutes ago

[darth-memes]

I really mean it. Don't trust any review that you see online about anything Star Wars. Specially the Acolyte and the latest series. You would be surprised how many are made in bad faith, and with the Acolyte they have multiplied. Talk to your friends that have actually watched it and talk about it in a reasonable way. It's ok if you don't like the series or decide is not your thing, as someone who has really liked it, I know that it's far from perfect. Don't engage with reviews online unless you really really trust the person, because many are made with bad faith and/or nostalgia-tinted glasses that honestly make people forget how the original trilogy really is. It's the reason I stopped reading or watching ANYTHING resembling a review related to Star Wars because it is surprising how easy it turns into a toxic rant that many times can be boilt down into racism and misoginy.

Honestly, even avoiding all of that, with the Acolyte I almost burnt out of the fandom of how terrible it was. I luckily didn't received any hate myself but I have a friend who posts information and fun facts between other things (doesn't do reviews, or opinions, it's mostly all factual(if you have an instagram follow him in @skynobi_starwars, he is always on top of the latest news and posts frequently but without spaming)) on instagram and he was showing me the amount of comments just spewing hate whenever he posted anything about the series and it was disgusting. He said that there had always been some, but they had basically multiplied.

But that's his situation, mine was in real life. I have a coworker who also loves Star Wars and his mask fell off when on episode 3 the wItches showed up and suddenly all of his critiques were about the amount of black people and lesbians that were there. By the next episode everything was just shit and how they should fire the entire team. Basically screaming and being impossible to talk to. Which honestly made me really sad because he had always been a person with who I could talk to about anything Star Wars related. Worst of all, a younger coworker who was wondering if to watch the series entered into watching "reviews" that were outright lying about what happened in the episodes or of people that straight up didn't watch it. He showed me a few and they were all the same. I had to spend a good while proving to him how the series was review bombed even before starting and just proving almost every lie those people were telling and how most of it. It was exhausting and terrifying, I was also really worried because this coworker is very young and what he showed me bordered some alt-right beliefs that should be near NOBODY. And, holy shit, was this a slide to the far right pipeline.

The only reason I didn't burn out is because I have a trusted group of friends with whom I could comment the episodes and have fun making jokes about it. Curiously, my dad also watched it and enjoyed it. But that's basically that's all I had to reduce my feedback of Star Wars for WEEKS to not burn out with how everything was going both online and real life.

And I know that there's a lot of toxic parts of the Star Wars fandom. My recommendation is not engage with any of the big names in the fandom (you know who I am referring to, specially in Youtube). Again, it's not that you cannot be critical, there is a lot to be critical in Star Wars, there is also much that one may dislike, but there is a line. And a lot of people that called themselves reviewers crossed and are so far away in their delusion of how anything that Disney does becomes an attack against them that they will never be able to enjoy the saga again. But raging like that will just result in another Rise of Skywalker, not another Empire Strikes Back.

Instead, look for friends with who you enjoy talking about Star Wars and have fun watching, playing, reading, etc with the saga. Because at the end of the day that's what we want, to have fun with it and enjoy the journey. Sometimes it may disappoint, but if you are always looking for that like a big part of the fandom that posts online, you are never going to enjoy it again.

And isn't Star Wars better when you focus on what makes you happy about it than on what you didn't like?

(Also, again, watch out for the people who are being racist, mysoginistic, homophobic... I can't emphasize how even I, that I try to curate as much as I can my experience in the fandom, I found them fast this time)

[vicsuragi]

okay i finally watched an episode from the correct season of ordinary lies and i am so fucking confused that was such a 90 degree turn they took in the last 10 minutes.

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 2)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.4k words, no warnings) [@v3lnys]

last part - masterlist - next part

Quali came to an end once again, the feeling slightly tamer than the first time as Lance pulled back into his side of the garage, Nico not far behind.

He was slightly disappointed he qualified p10 but it'll be fine as long as he can actually finish this race (and hopefully get points for the team this time.)

He heard Nico talking to his engineer on the other side of the garage and decided to go over, not having much to do on his side.

"Seriously, the wheels locked up like twice. You were watching and I know you noticed so the fact that you're ignoring the issues is bullshit-"

Maybe not the best time to stand around.

He decided instead of hanging around with Nico he'd just walk around the paddock, his race suit hanging by his hips as he walked by the other teams garages, seeing how busy everyone else on the paddock was. He could tell some people were quick to go home but he wasn't ever in a rush to get back to his hotel room, it was usually boring anyway.

"Ah, Lancito, I was just looking for you" There it is. The voice Lance looks forward to hearing as soon as the race week starts, and most likely the reason he decides to stay back as late as he does

"Nando, Hi" He flashed a smile at the long haired driver, stoping in his tracks so they could walk together

"Nando?" The shorter man echoed, catching up to Lance as they both continued walking, steps in sync as they made their way around the paddock

"Well, I figured it was only fair for me to give you a name since you gave me one" Lance nodded as he spoke, afraid the older man had a problem with it, it was quite childish, he wasn't sure why he even called him that, Fernando worked just fine, it was a silly nickname

"I like it, Sounds good coming from you." Fernando smiled up at Lance, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to pull him down to his level "Guess we are friends now, eh? Coworkers do not usually have special names for eachother"

Lance nodded again, he supposed Nando was right. He turned to look at him as he continued to speak, rambling about many things but all Lance could think about was how good he looked. He'd never really examined the Spaniard like he was doing now, sunglasses propped up on his head, holding his hair out of his face, it seemed like he had just shaved that morning, the shadow of his facial hair barely visible, his lips curved slightly upwards as he talked, his hair curling in every direction but somehow he made the messy look seem intentional

"What hotel do they have you staying at, Lancito?" Was the first thing Lance really heard after spending god knows how long just staring at Fernando. How embarrassing.

"Uhm- Mövenpick? I think, Otmar has my keycard somewhere." Lance hummed, having lost the keycard to the hotel in Bahrain Otmar had decided it was best to put Nico and Lance in the same room and "look after" Lances keycard until they headed back.

"Ah, I see. I didn't realize they'd put drivers in different hotels."

"If you miss my company so much you're welcome to come along, you know I get special priviliges because of my dad" Lance joked, at this point he was so used to people belittling him to just being his fathers son that he had started to do it as well

"Ah, don't say that Lancito" Fernando almost scolded him, moving his hand to tap the back of his head "You forget I'm world champion, I could buy another hotel ticket if I wanted to."

Lance laughed, nodding in agreement, there wasn't anything stopping Fernando from doing anything really, after he left the paddock he could go wherever, do whatever, it's not like he signed away his soul to F1 so moving hotels wouldn't be a big deal "I know, I know, but if you ever want free stuff, Mr. World Champion, you know who to ask" Lance hummed, taking his turn of having his arm around Fernandos shoulder "These are the perks of being friends with a nepotism baby"

"I'll take your word for it then" Fernando laughed, accepting the change of positions, it wasn't very comfortable reaching up to drape an arm around Lances shoulder anyways.

A comfortable silence fell over them, neither feeling the need to add anything more, it was odd, how well they had clicked. They got along better together than either of them did with their teammates but no one was complaining. Lance liked having someone to go to outside of the Racing Point garage and Fernando liked having someone he felt like this towards, whatever "this" was. They were snapped back to reality when Otmar finally found Lance

"God kid, I was looking for you. Nico's about to head back so I figured now was a good time to give you the key" He pulled out a think black card and handed it to Lance "Don't lose it this time, alright?" He asked, not letting to just yet.

"Alright, I'll attach it to my arm, okay?" Lance joked, turning back to Fernando "Think about it, really, if your hotel gets boring you're more than welcome at mine." He said before making his way out of the paddock, catching up to Nico so they could leave together

Odd was all Otmar thought, he didn't realize his driver had gotten so close to Fernando, he'd thought maybe it was just press, or maybe some plan the Spaniard had, but he had nothing to gain from staying late and just sitting next to him.

Lance tried not to be disappointed when night came and went and Fernando had decided not to come, it was silly, but a part of him was looking forward to seeing him outside of the paddock, outside of the blue and yellow.

They were so busy before the race that Lance hadn't even managed to catch a glimpse of the Spaniard let alone talk to him, before he knew it interviews were over and he was in his car, lined up in the fifth row, Nico barely behind him.

Fernando was right in saying Malaysia was going to treat him better, he had managed to make up three places and actually get points for his team in his second grand prix.

It felt great, even though it wasn't a podium like Fernando had gotten getting points waa a big deal for the rookie (driver and team).

The debrief went smoothly considering how both Nico and Lance finished the race with no major problems, as they gathered their things and the team started to leave the garage one by one Lance couldn't help but notice the blue in the corner of his eye. He turned his head and smiled when he confirmed it was in fact Fernando

"Good-" Lance started, trying to beat Fernando to congratulating eachother was proving to be difficult

"You did great, Lancito" Fernando commented, walking into the garage now that it was practically empty "Your overtakes are pretty decent for a nepotism baby, eh?"

Lance laughed, hitting Fernandos arm "Guess you did pretty good for a world champ then, huh?" It was nice, the banter they had, if anyone else joked with him jow Fernando does he was sure he'd take it the wrong way but with how Fernandos treated him since they met he had no doubt in his mind that every jab he made towards him was lighthearted.

"Any plans before Australia, Lancito?" Right, Lance had forgotten there wasn't another race for two weeks

"I'm not sure, I always end up somewhere though" He laughed, leaning on the counter behind him, using his hands to prop himself up "How about you, where are you going, Nando?"

"Me and Mark, Mark Webber, were planning on spending the break in Australia together"

Right, he forgot Fernando was close to Mark, the driver who's seat he took.

"Could you tell him I'm sorry?" Lance hesitated to speak, wondering if the Australian was mad at him for ending his career early

"He doesn't mind, trust me, if he wasn't okay with ending his career he would've signed with someone else." Fernando consoled the younger, patting his shoulder after he finished "Don't worry your pretty little head, alright?"

Lance laughed, shaking his head at the comment in efforts to ignore the pink tint covering his face "Alright, Nando."

[milesfingers]

Outlast main characters headcanons because there aren’t many of them and they deserve it ✨

Oh and these informations refers to before the whole mess started

Miles Upshur

•Lemme say this straight, this man is in his mid 30s (I personally hc him as 35) because he’s a walking dad joke

•Even when he wasn’t a freelancer Miles didn't have many friends in his office because of his awkward and seemingly rude personality

•But in fact when you know him better Miles is kind of nice. Of course you have to endure his humor and his swears, but in general I think that deep inside he’s a very likable person

•Had many girlfriends but most of them didn't last two weeks (for the reasons mentioned above)

•Smokes a lot and sometimes ends up drunk, but he reminds as lucid as he can

•He was victim of bullying as a child, but then learned how to fight back. Also used to be asthmatic

•He treats his jeep as his girlfriend and his former coworkers made fun of him, but Miles didn’t care at all

•He tends to inspire fear

Waylon Park

•Yeah actually he’s a huge nerd

•Loves to play video games a lot with his sons. Lisa doesn’t agree with it, because she thinks that they will grow up an obsession, but Waylon think they develop their creativity

•Takes a diary and updates it every night before going to sleep

•Knows how to hack someone’s profile but he would never dream of doing so

•I agree with the popular hc that he was a fan of Miles’ articles

•While I hc Miles as ~35 I thinks Waylon is younger than him, I’d say he’s in his early 30s

•His sons are 6 and 7 years old respectively

•Waylon met Lisa at college. Lisa was studying for being a lawyer (which she eventually became) and they met because Waylon was quite an outcast and shy and Lisa wanted to include him in her group of friends

Blake Langermann

•He and Lynn always been soulmates, and they complete each others. While Blake is more sensitive and shy Lynn is much more tougher.

•At the time of Outlast 2 they had been married for seven months after years of dating

•Blake loves reading, especially historical novel and in general he really likes historical stuff.

•After his childhood traumas he decided at some point to go to a therapist but even with them he wasn’t able to open himself and tell the whole story

•He really hates rude people. Like I said in another post he would not like Miles

•Tends to not talk to much and only with people he personally know

•At the least when he grow up he exposed father Loutermilch as the predator he is and got him fired

•Doesn’t drink coffee because it doesn't let him sleep at night (bro’s just like me)

[mushiver]

I haven't been a movie nerd even ONCE on this account. Here's my top 10 movies in 2023

1. The Lord of the Rings (trilogy)

IT STILL COUNTS AS ONE

Can't go wrong here. There's fantasy, action scenes, friendship, romance, badass dialogue, comedy. There's refreshing masculinity where men are close friends, fight for each other, die for each other, kiss each other on the forehead, sing, etc. The Aragorn Arwen romance is sweet and isn't overblown, and the main theme is to fight for good. If you're tired of anti-heroes and want a clean good vs. evil, this is it. The downside is not having poc representation and only 3 important women, but they are extremely awesome and play pivotal roles. If you've heard about LOTR for forever but never actually seen it, here's your sign.

2. The Lego Movie

This movie sells itself, but I have seen it maybe. 40 times. And I could quote it from start to end as a kid. It's funny, has crossover characters along with the main ones (like Batman, Superman, Gandalf, Abraham Lincoln, Han Solo), lots of references, and the main message is that you're special in your own way. It's very autism coded, I think

3. Jaws

Classic man vs. monster, and it's great if you don't watch thrillers and need something "dip your toes in." While the majority of the town goes all rambo trying to kill the shark, the main characters are the opposite. The chief of police is ultimately empathetic and wants to stop more people from being hurt, Matt Hooper is a shark expert "city boy" coming along, and Quint has a boat that needs to be bigger

4. My Cousin Vinny

Vinny is a lawyer taking a case to prove his cousin didn't murder a clerk, but he's the worst lawyer in existence. He forgot everything he learned in law school, can't stop wearing a leather jacket to court, and his fiancée saves him most times. It has some of the most quotable lines and 10/10 I recommend to Alabamans for the southern jokes

5. Knives Out

A modern "whodunit" mystery that shines the most because it's a comedy. The main character Marta is the only one who thinks she knows what happened, but she pukes every time she tells a lie. Benoit Blanc is also the most iconic detective to me and one of my favorite characters ever

6. Tommy Boy

This has a very similar tone to My Cousin Vinny, but it's a road trip movie. After Tommy's dad dies, he and Richard (a jerk coworker) try to sell autoparts to save his company. They're the worst salesmen in existence, but ultimately are creative and pull some shenanigans (Tommy and Richard go from rivals to buddies). It's from the 90s and not very chill with the r-slur and some fat jokes, but it's ultimately a feel-good movie if that isn't a dealbreaker for you

7. Jurassic Park

Like Jaws, another classic pop culture movie. The score is so good, and they make a world full of dinosaurs have the same magic feel as the wizarding world. It's an adventure movie with great action scenes and characters. (This is a trope I love personally but) Alan Grant is a grump who doesn't like kids, but later he looks after them. Ellie Sattler is one of my favorite characters ever, and Jeff Goldblum lays on a table. Survival movies are fun 10/10

8. Joker (2019)

DROOLING OVER THE CINEMATOGRAPHY. It's such a well-made movie, and you never know entirely what's real with unreliable narrating. It makes you feel for Arthur and understand his actions while knowing he made the wrong decisions in the end. Some think it's negative for mental health representation, but it can be used as a cautionary tale for the ways mentally ill people are mistreated and how the events that led to the start of the film weren't his fault. Ultimately, I think it inspires more empathy, and it's a piece of art

9. Signs

I'm a sucker for the "everything makes sense in the end" trope. A lot of people didn't like the combo of two supernaturals (the existence of God and aliens), but I don't think it ruins the movie. It centers around a family struggling with the death of their mother (or sister or wife, depending on the character), and the ex-priest dad had lost connection with his faith. He happens to find it again because of an alien invasion. Normal Tuesday

10. Arsenic and Old Lace

From 1944, it's a weird movie and the acting is iconic. Mortimer is trying to get to his honeymoon, but when he visits his aunts, he finds a dead body in the house. It's a comedy involving shenanigans, avoiding the police, and an uncle who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt. (It's a bit outdated as far as mental illness goes, but Mortimer's goal is to put his family in the care of a mental institution rather than shipping them off or telling the police.) As a drama queen, I also appreciate Cary Grant being a drama queen

10 honorable mentions: Lego Batman, Napoleon Dynamite, The Goofy Movie, Clue, Psycho, Marriage Story, Into the Spiderverse, Avengers Endgame, Dead Poets Society, Muder on the Orient Express. Swag thanks for reading

[scarletsromero]

Sarah had been all over the news this week. Her mask had fallen off while she'd been raiding a DMC truck and the world was absolutely frenzied when Captain America's daughter was caught with facial recognition software heisting a government vehicle full of illegal mutants. She'd been caught in 4k, ripping the doors off of the hinges before throwing two officers out of the moving vehicle. The news condemned her of course, citing the warrants now out for her arrest and long think pieces about how the Rogers family actually had a long-running history of bordering on domestic terrorism or something or rather he'd skimmed over. A few fringe publications cited her as a radical hero, protecting the vulnerable from the fascists who kidnapped them. He'd gotten used to seeing his family on every corner of the internet from a very young age.

After killing Thanos, the Avengers had a brief revival in the public favour. Instead of New York Times think pieces about the net harm their existence had brought upon the world; it was rabid fandom consumption. His parent's marriage and its notable break down, Tony Starks favourite shoe brand, and how to braid your beard like Thor Odinson! For godsakes, Nate had a wiki made about him while still in utero in anticipation– One of the nurses had gone public about his condition before his parents had even found the words to tell anyone outside of his Grandma.

He knew it could be worse. Sarah didn't like to talk about Foundlings, at least not in James's presence. He'd been around ten, complaining about something he couldn't remember now beyond vague broad strokes. Something had hit a nerve he hadn't known existed, her face twisted into a frown, uncharacteristically teary-eyed. James felt awful before she'd even spoken, but that didn't absolve him of the sad squeak in her angry words outlining just how lucky they had it in comparison to other kids just like them; who didn't have friends in high places to keep them safe. He'd tried to apologise but she'd leaned away, muttering about needing to help someone with something or other. By the time they'd seen each other next, she didn't acknowledge it, leaving him with an awkward lump in his belly.

They'd never really gotten along. That wasn't to say they fought, in fact, they fought less than any siblings he knew really. But they didn't get along. She was a coworker in another department, they exchanged pleasantries and jokes even from time to time but he didn't know her really and she definitely didn't know him. He always thought about asking her about it, but lost the nerve when she tilted her head waiting for him to speak, swallowing the lump down. His throat was dry now too, trying to listen without looking like he was listening. Tony was outlining something about lawyers with his mom, both their faces set in stoney frowns. They'd lost his dad somewhere about ten minutes ago, his eyes looking far away. Sarah on the other hand, was biting down a laugh, texting away. More likely Arik on the other side than Bjorn, James figured. A twinge of annoyance shot up his spine, what was funny? Fox News preached all but a firing squad all morning over this crap and she's gonna giggle?

She'd been doing the Ice Box interceptions for a little while now, he thought he'd been the last to know but looking at their mother's face, the shock and worry mixing with that maternal anger, he guessed not. He hadn't worked up the nerve to tell her he didn't think she should be doing it. Instead, he hoped someone else might, someone Sarah would listen to. But no one did. Now look at everything, it was fucked. There was going to be no normal for the foreseeable future. There was no way she wasn't ending up in the Box after this; how could she not? And in the months to follow, no corner would be safe from idiots with a camera asking him what he thinks about that. He felt hopeless- sick, really. The nausea sat low in his stomach as he dared to steal little glares at his sister.

"What?" She asked, not quite irritable but not far off. He jumped in his seat, startled to have been caught in the act.

"What?" He snapped back, furrowing his brows in return. His shoulders jerked in a question.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" So much for not fighting he thought. She sat up straight from her slouch, her shoulders jerked just the same stoking his annoyance.

"Like what?" He wasn't even one hundred percent what he was mad about in that instant if he was being honest. All of a sudden, he felt pissed just for the sake of it, like she could pull a piece of paper from a hat and have one of fifty reasons he was so irritated.

"All pissed off."

"I'm not." He barked defensively. It was enough of a spectacle to finally pry everyone's eyes from the paperwork.

"What's going on?" Grace's voice was pinched.

"Nothing." They answered, still scowling at one another.

"You know they're worried sick about you right?" He leaned in to ask a moment later, voice loaded with quiet implication. "They have to stay up all night trying to figure out how to keep you out of jail for this-"

"Okay?" She asked, as if waiting on the relevant information.

"It's not fair."

"The kids in that truck were younger than you and you want to talk to me about fair?

"Why does it have to be you?" He accused. "Why you all the time- this is going to blow up our world for god knows how long and you just expect me to-"

"I don't expect you to do anything." The double meaning in her words stung.

"We don't all have to wear spandex to help, Sarah."

"Yeah? And how are you helping? Gonna vote blue next election?" She held her hands up in a patronizing cheer. "You want to know why me? Because where was anyone else?" James felt tears stinging at the back of his eyes as he turned his face down with an embarrassed frown, feeling ten years old again- wishing that the world could just figure itself out and leave his family out of it. Leave him out of it. He stood up in a rush, rubbing at his eyes as nonchalantly as he could manage, ready for a hasty exit. "James-" She sighed, he shrugged and turned away. An apology out of her mouth would only make Sarah feel better.

[baby-charlie-blog]

Well...

The other day I rediscovered and cracked the login info to this ancient account. The idea of posting another update to my whopping 31 definitely-now-defunct followers is too funny to pass up. Only about uhhh... 8 years give or take since my last post.

I actually sent the link to my current boyfriend, joking how all these posts feel like they were made 10 personalities ago. Maybe not completely, I do appreciate having a lot of it here still. Some stuff didn't make the cut on my main blog (where I have a much more well-maintained archive of the past 8 years of Charlie's life)- little thoughts, feelings and time stamped milestones are nice to look back on, albeit a short lived blogging project!

I'll just hit the highlights Sparknotes style:

🩵 Charlie is now 8 years old, almost 9. Today was his last day of 2nd grade! He likes video games, science and math are his favorite subjects in school (barring extracurriculars, where he really likes music), and he takes piano lessons on the weekends!

🩵 His dad and I did not end up buying a house. I mentioned "looking at houses in the area" in at least one of the last few posts here. In fact, I was quite delulu at 19 years old to be honest (27 this month). Extremely wishful thinking, we were never on track to buy a house. We split up shortly after my last updates, around when Charlie was 1. We had ups and downs but ultimately split amicably, and share time with him now. For that reason, I intend not to touch the bio or layout of this blog, for the archival purpose it serves. However, we are both very much in new, happy relationships and Charlie has 2 younger brothers at dad's house.

🩵 As a result of the split, we ended up staying with my parents in the following years. In 2017 we got the opportunity to move out with a platonic roommate and her child the same age as Charlie. That was honestly a fantastic arrangement, until it abruptly wasn't and we went separate ways in 2019. Back to my parents house, where we stayed put for the next couple of years riding out the Covid times and getting back on my feet financially.

🩵 Just this past year, December of 2022 we got the opportunity to move into our own place, just us! It's been stressful, challenging, sometimes lonely, but wonderful. At one of my previous jobs, I met a coworker who had a daughter Charlie's age and another just a couple years younger. We got close to them and went over to their house a lot, she was also a single mom who split time with her ex. Every Friday, they set up camp in the living room and had movie and pizza night, just the three girls. Ever since witnessing that, I knew I wanted to give Charlie the same- I wanted to have a place that was "our own," where we could make fun rituals as a little 2 person family, and he'd always know our place is his place first. Not us and a roommate, not boyfriends who are in and out. Just us. That if we add to our family someday, he would never feel alienated- because first it was us, and I would always do everything in my power to give him somewhere safe and stable. Our own place was a very important step to me for a long time.

All's to say, the economy is in shambles- and rent is through the roof. I don't know what the best move will be when our lease cycle ends in September. I would do just about anything to stay in our little place another lease cycle, but barring a big change in my income- the best move is undeniably looking like going back with my parents for one more year to knock out debts that have accrued and get my savings back up, in order to seriously pursue owning when we make our next move. I think about it and weigh the options daily at this point, time will tell.

🩵 I dropped out of whatever classes I was enrolled in when I was active here. My grades slipped at the time (I was raising a baby, y'know), and as a contingency to stay at my parents house they wanted me to pursue cosmetology school. So I did, I spent a year getting licensed and did hair for about 3 more years post graduation. I didn't like it very much by the third quarter of the program, but I did what I had to do because it was the only option I had. While doing hair I put myself back in community college online. When I just couldn't take the hours and financial stressors of hairstyling anymore, I made the move to childcare. I worked as a preschool teacher for 2 years- I loved it, I was able to take Charlie with me and get a heavy discount on his childcare while I worked. I was in it all through the peak of the Covid era which was a very fever-dreamlike experience to reminisce on now. A livable income was unfortunately just not there either, and I made two short-sighted & short-lived jumps to being 1) Bank Rep in person and 2) Insurance Customer Service Rep at home. They paid better, but the work was just awful. Ultimately, I switched gears both in school and in my career to marketing. I’ll be done with my B.S. in Spring of 2024, and already work full-time in a Marketing department for a small company. I love what I do now. I definitely see this being the field that I stick with long term, even if I do change companies from where I currently am to chase a higher salary.

Whew... That's the condensed version of events of the past 8 years, believe it or not.

It's been a whirlwind of enormous highs and lows for me, personally. I've gained and lost people, individuals, groups, friendships, relationships, grades, jobs, money, credit scores- the only constant in this life is my love for Charlie. The days are exhausting and can be very grueling but at the same time in the blink of an eye we're driving home from the last day of 2nd grade, and he's more aptly called a "tweenager" than the "baby" who was the initial subject of this blog. It's bittersweet- to see him grow up so fast, but adoring how he grows through each new phase into the intelligent and caring little boy he is.

I'd like to say I'll post more in the future, but I wouldn't want to make false promises to my 31 adoring fans for the next year or 8. Maybe, just maybe, someday in the future I'll take up my hobby for mommy blogging again, who knows what's to come.

Here is a picture of my dude this morning before school. The whole last week of school was spirit week, and today the final theme was "tropical." I think he was born to play the part of a middle-aged Floridian guy who just wants to kick back, personally.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Soulmate Au

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can you handle it?

Hawks point of view

A/n: finally I kicked the sloth aside and wrote this...

Soulmates weren't a good thing... that was at least what your mother told you.

Soulmates crushed your heart. Not all soulmates accept their own ones with kind hearts and cozy and loveable chibis... Your mother fell for your father, a loveable chibi who appeared in her life, everything was fine until... your birth.

Your father's chibi was cold and uncaring about the baby. The fruit of your mother's unconditional love from him. And with what he returned? Bullshit.

They got separated. They never once married, and the chibis ran away from their owner... never appearing again.

Your father and mother shared your custody even though you pass more time with your mother and the mom of your dad.

"I hope you never get a soulmate (Y/n)." Your mother spoke as she carresed your hair, hate evident on her words as she comforted your crying self due to some hurtful thing your father had said to you.

"W-why not mama?" You sniffled as she wiped your tears with a frown.

"They can hurt you as badly as some knife on your chest sweety. If you happen to have a soulmate, promise me you will not put your heart on their hands, dont give yourself away for the cuteness of some chibi. It may not be real."

That was when you started to have a fear towards the cute things...

.

.

.

You walked around your school, seing all of your classmates cheering or talking about their chibis. Some on their shoulders, others on the top of their heads...

You grimaced. You felt... left out. Despite your fear to getting one, how you wished to find your soulmate... just hoping that you didn't ended up like your mother... or worse, like him.

You had affection towards your dad for a while... but as the years passed by, you noticed how his "play" was more of hurtful words. The man only cared about himself and his money... yet you couldn't leave.

You felt like a bird on a cage.

Sighing, you sitted on a bench... alone. Picking your art supplies as you started to doodle on your notebook. You hummed a song while the pencil on your hand leaved trails of graffiti before smilling at the sound of birds chirping.

Something felt on your notebook then... you let out a confused sound at the thing.. a drop of some red fluid. You looked up and frowned before you went to brush your hair before gasping at noticing it was YOUR blood which had fell.

"W-What?!" You whimpered, now the pain starting to manifest as you hissed. It was like a knife had cutted your skin! And gosh, how it hurted...

Grabbing your things and rushing to the bathroom you didn't noticed something entering your backpack... you wiped at the blood and sighed.

"I will have to go to the enfermary... but what will I tell the nurse?! Suddenly this appeared?! Urgh!" You hitted your forehead in the mirror with closed eyes, opening them slowly after.

Seing a blond and feathered chibi looking up at you. Your eyes widened and blinked to confirm it was real before it squeaked at you. You screamed and dropped in your butt, crawling your way until your back hitted the wall of the bathroom.

The chibi squeaked. A worried sound as he flew, getting closer and closer to you as you trembled.

"S-Stay back-!" You grabbed a ruler that felt and pointed at him, making him stop on his flying as he arched one of his eyebrows and let out a giggle..

Sure, you would laugh as well if someone pointed a ruler to you as if it was a weapon...

"Stay back! Go to your owner or something!" You shouted before he furrowed his eyebrows again, smile fading as he flew and dropped inches awya from you. It came out a soft squeaked, and somehow you could just feel it was like a apology.

"I-Its okay. You just scared me appearing out of no where..." you hesitantly dropped the ruler back and hot on your knees, looking down at the chibi.

It had such messy hair... golden eyes, shining as bright as the sun, yet it carried a deep pain and some sorta of loneliness. You could certainly understand him...

"I'm sorry, did I scared you as well?" He shook his head as he pointed at his own cheek and squeaking at you. You touched the wound and got what he was supposed to say "I'm okay... didn't know where the heck I got from though..." you mumbled the last parts.

He squeaked at you again, opening his little wings and flying at the at the height of your eyes. Some little feather coming out and tickling your cheeks which you giggled a bit.

"So that's your quirk!" You giggled, the chibi letting out a yelp of glee of seing you smile as he did a black flip. "Okay okay, you're nice... Where are your soulmate though?" You tilted your head at it as he stopped and pointed at you.

Oh...

.

.

.

You caried it on the palms of your hands as if it was going to break it... get frowning at him for being so.... handsome and... too perfect.

Your mother's words echoed in your head as you entered your father's car and he drove you out of the school. He saw the chibi and started saying bullshit like "got a soulmate dolly? Heh!"

You ignored at his clearly fake smile and smiled at the chibi flying around your head and chirping and squealing. It reminded you of a bird!

Maybe... you could just trust your own soulmate?

.

.

.

"(L/n)-san!!! You are a life saver!" Your coworker moaned while holding onto the table as you finished your drawing.

"Sure."you giggled before signing it. Waiting a few minutes before you saw the puppy slowly coming out of the paper and jumping at the floor, shaking and barking cutely at your coworkers.

You snorted at hearing the sound of tiny hands clapping inside your jacket pocket. Birdbrain. The chibi always encouraging you of using your quirk.

"Thank you so much! My nephew then will get some ideas on what kind of dog he will want!" Your coworker chuckled at the puppy licking their cheek.

"It will be like this for at least four hours, but then they will return to the paper. Dont forget." You warned, allowing your birdbrain to flee as free as he wanted out of your pocket.

You smiled at him, opening your hand for him to sit on it. Such an ass, your soulmate was surely one of the most laziest man around.

It had passed years since he appeared on the bathroom for you. Yet you felt your guts twist in anxiety at only the thought of getting to know the actual male that was your soulmate...

Words of your mother ringed in your earbuds each time and your relationship with your father was no better than before. Now aparently he was trying to rebuild only because he knows he is getting old and needs help...

A strong crashing and sound of people shouting and crying made you break out of your thoughts. It all happened so fast. Endeavour, the top one hero crashed your window and if it wasn't for your chibi you squeaking loudly and pushing you out of the way you were going to get hitted.

A voice from another hero came up and for some reason the feathers of your chibi ruffled up as he widened his gold eyes up before you rushed out of the building along with him.

:we have to get out of here before this collapse on us!" You shouted as bird squeaked along as you helped some coworkers of yours along the way to get out.

.

.

.

You didn't stay up to watch the fight... you just wanted to get out and go home to where it was safe.

Yet your chibi completely disagree with that as he squeaked, flapped his wings... heck, even threw a chicken wing at your head.

Your birdbrain NEVER would throw a chicken wing away. Never. You come to notice his love for nuggets and other chicken related things like that at a young age, joking about him being a canibal.

You had enough when he just flew past your head when you were going to eat and pushe dyour head while pointing at the winfown

"Fine! You won!" You shouted, glaring at him when he made an action whose was almost shouting hallelujah, before getting out and him flying behind you.

.

.

.

The night was quite beautiful as you and your chibi walked, him rested on your shoulder as he smiled at looking at you.

It was peaceful before he jumped on his feet, his little wings wide open as his feathers ruffle up. Eyes sharp as a Hawk.

"You're okay? Birdy?" You asked in worry before gasping when he just flew like the speed of light away from you.

"BIRDY!" you shouted, running after him on the path of the park.

Shit! If you lost your chibi then you would never get to meet your soulmate! Tears started to form on your eyes as you searched for your chibi oi the dark of the night.

If you werent so anxious and stupid! You could meet your soulmate even if it wasn't for this stupid fear of having a relationship like your mom had!

Suddenly your heard distant squeaking, recognizing as you almost sobbed in relief and followed the sound. Noticing him flying back to you.

"You bird brain! How much did you wanted to-... to.." you stopped talking immediatly when you saw a tony version of you on his arms, smiling and cuddling up to his chest like it knew him for ages..

You blinked before hearing footsteps coming closer, and when you looked past the chibis your heart jumped before being shooted by an arrow.

The man in front of you, was no other than the actual version of your chibi. The number 2 ranking from the heroes. The man whose was know for being way too fast....

"H-Hawks..." you greeted shakily, not quite believing yet. Sure, your chibi reminded you of Hawks a lot, but... it seemed yet more intimate. More clingy and desperate for affection and actual love... You just put in your head that it was another man, with a similiar quirk and appearance as him.

Well, you were wrong. Hawks was indeed your soulmate.

He let out a chuckle at your gretting. His wide eyes and shock washed away with relief, smugness and... love, actual love on his eyes.

"Since we're soulmates, I guess you should at least call me Keigo..." he mused with a smile, taking his visor off to take a good look at you, frowning when his eyes were at the aim of the scar you had... the one whose mysteriously appeared on your skin many years ago before meeting your chibi.

"How long do you have this?" He asked, you felt your cheeks warming in self conscious at it. You never actually cared when other people asked but with him was another story...

"Since my childhood I guess... It was out of no where." You mumbled in embarrassment yet with a smile, praying mentally taht he take your mumble as a joke.

You widened your eyes when his hold brought you closer to him before he touched his forehead with yours, lovingly golden orbs staring at you with care and not a piece of judgement inside them.

"I like it chickadee." You snorted before a series of giggles escaped your lips at this, hounding quite hilarious that you also named your chibi something bird related.

"Chickadee? Really?" You asked breathless as he let out a raspy chuckle.

"Well, you did called the little fella over there birdbrain. Guess we're mates for life..." he mused with his husky voice as the chibis prefered to watch from afar on a nearby tree.

You smiled at him... somehow.. You just knew it this relationship with him was going to work. You were going to be, as he said, mates for life.

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

[growingupautie]

StoryTime: All That and a Bag of...

At my previous job, I and a coworker or two would often grab lunch at a local restaurant. Usually, it was just me and one other guy thought. Sometimes we'd go to the pizza place. Sometimes the Chinese place down the street. There were a few good spots but we went to them all the time so they got pretty boring. Isn't it funny how when you finally have access to almost any food, you end up feeling like nothing sounds good and taking it for granted?

One day, most of my coworkers were busy, and my go-to guy told me he had errands to run. I drove by the Chinese place we usually go to and parked my car. But as I got out, I saw the Subway next to it and decided that since nobody ever wanted to go there, I would do that instead. I closed my car door and felt someone watching behind me. It felt like they were ready to make their move and ambush me with something but there was a distinct lack of a feeling of ill-intent.

I started to rush off toward the entrance as I hear from the watcher behind me "HEY! Hey man! Can you uh...I don't get paid for two weeks and I just started a new job...Can you buy me lunch and I'll pay you back?" I look back and see an older man in his late 30's sitting in his beat-up work truck wearing a neon work vest frantically awaiting my answer. "Uh..." I said, not really wanting to interact with anyone that day but feeling like I was long overdue for a good deed. "Sure, man...Come on."

He said "Are you serious?! Thank you. Oh, God. Thank you. God Bless you." and he leaped out of his truck, and threw the door shut running toward me. He held the door open for me and said "I'll pay you back. I promise." When I do things like this for people, I don't really want to be paid back and as I told him, it "wouldn't be much of a good deed if I did." He thanked me with an oddly frantic nature and seemed to almost get teary-eyed.

I thought to myself about how rare kindness must be to him if that small amount elicited that response. Then I realized that it most certainly was to me, and that's about the same amount of kindness it would take to move me as well. "I haven't eaten in a few days..." he told me. "I just started this new job, and I'm in a bad way until I get paid." He added. As his words hit me I said with a somewhat heavier heart. "Well, you're eating today, man. Get whatever you want.

The person in line ahead of us turned around and mean mugged him, and looked at me as if to say I was being scammed. That the guy was just in it for a free meal. Honestly, He could've been right in that moment for all I knew. But the truth is, I didn't care. I'd rather it be a free food scam than any other type because it's still a good deed done in the name of goodness.

But at the same time, I felt like this guy was either legitimate or extremely exaggerating his actions to seem that way. Either way, I didn't care. And because of that, the joke would be on him if he was lying. He ordered a 6-inch sandwich, and I told him to make it a foot long if he hadn't eaten in so long. He almost broke down again but snapped out of it, and changed his order.

He added chips and a drink to it, but only after I insisted. Further taking away the idea that this was all a scam to get free food. He picked his sandwich and drink up and looked like he was ready to walk out. "Do you mind if I eat with you?" he asked me. I was taken aback. Most of the time when I had bought someone lunch over the years they either doubled their order, left as soon as it was ready, or both. "Uh...Yeah, man. Sure." I told him.

We went and sat down and he thanked me again frantically for the food. Then he pulled the sandwich out and started literally scarfing it down in front of me. And I mean scarfing. And for a brief moment, I thought to myself "Who eats like that?" until it clicked in my head that only someone who hadn't eaten a meal in a long time would... I immediately felt horrible. "How long has it been?" I asked. "Um...Been a few days. Maybe Saturday?" It was Tuesday.

"I'm sorry, my brother. I didn't realize how bad it was." I told him as tears burned in my eyes burning my nostrils as I was overcome with emotion. He told me he understood, and I did more than anyone else did for him. I explained my stance on doing the good for the good and he told me again he would pay me back. "No, my brother. I never expected you to. That's the whole point. His eyes welled up more than they had before as he kept eating.

"My wife left us..." he said. "us?" I asked seeing what I was assuming was his wedding ring on his necklace and worrying about his answer. "Yeah, me and my little boy. She left us, and went to Louisiana." (I believe) he told me. "She took almost everything with her leaving me broke, and without any way to provide for my son." He took another bite and continued. "I just started this job, and it pays good. But I ain't gonna see a dime until next Thursday."

I asked him when the last time his son ate was, and he told me he had been going without so he could feed his son. I believe he said he could only afford ramen and hot dog weiners and was making his son that. I had always wanted to be a dad and I didn't really have the best examples growing up. At that time I was questioning ability to be a father.

Kandace and I were either planning to or trying to conceive, at the time and all I could think was being in a situation where I couldn't afford to take care of my son and what that must be doing to him. Much less foregoing food for himself to do what little he could. Thinking about it now as a father makes the emotion so much worse but at that moment it nearly broke my heart.

He didn't ask me for money. He told me he was going to find a way to get some groceries. That he didn't have anything to sell, but he would find a way. He nearly finished his entire sandwich by that time, and I asked why he was eating so quickly. He told me he had spent 30 minutes of his 60-minute lunch break asking people outside to buy him lunch so he didn't black out at work with no food.

In that moment...I had had enough. I wasn't going to put up with a situation like that that I had the power to change. I packed the rest of my sandwich up to take to work and said. "My brother. I know you don't have much time left but can you follow me to the Grocery store real quick?" He said "uh..sure" unsure of why I would ask him that. He followed me over to the ATM directly inside and upon realizing where we were said "I...No, my brother. You've already helped me enough."

"My brother..." I told him. "I don't trust these humans out here to help you, and I'm not going to let a hard-working single father and his son starve. It's just not going to happen." He started actually crying at that point and I did all I could not to do the same. I pulled out what I could afford to give him.

The number is not important, and I can't remember anyway, but it's not as much as I wanted to give him. I told him that I hoped what I gave him would get him through to payday and he hugged me (After asking.) I told him they would be ok and that we was an amazing father to sacrifice for his son like he had. The kind of father many kids unfortunately never had. I knew he needed to hear that and I'm glad I said it.

He kept trying to tell me he wanted to pay me back. And in the end, I finally told him how he could. "When you are on your feet and can afford to. Find someone who needs help like you did, and help them." I said. "That's what I'm doing now, and that's why I'm doing it. I continued.

As an Autistic adult, I came from a place where nobody would hire me, and no matter what I tried to make money, I fell flat on my face. I have been plagued with bad luck most of my life and have often felt cursed, so when I finally get on my feet and out of the bad times and see someone struggling to do the same just like I did, my first thought isn't to judge them or tell them to pull themselves up. It's to help them up.

He was a single dad with a new job trying to do right by his son. He was pulling himself up. But he needed help. Sometimes when people help themselves up, they still need a hand. And in a world of apathetic "not my problem" attitudes. Be that hand. Be that hand in spite of the judgmental onlookers, and naysayers. Yes. Guard yourself against being used, and abused but do what you can afford to do to help make their world, and by extension the rest of the world a better place.

And wherever you are, my brother, if you are by some random happenstance reading this. I hope you and yours are as well as me and mine. Thank you for being a shining example of fatherhood in a time where I was questioning my ability to be one.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

---

Hell me make more content more often at PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE and PATREON.COM/IRISHWOLFPRODUCTIONS

[football15-7fics]

Tu M’appartiens - Chapter 5 Part 1

But still, although Tessa was cursing Mats in the most spiteful of the way, Nicole read through the lines a truth that Tessa herself wasn't aware of.  Her loathing against Mats gave the impression that it seemed more of an animal attraction, that she was in need of him, that she wanted to fuck him.  Yes, Nicole had the perfect eye combined with the perfect brain in terms of body language, and concerning Tessa, it was an unquestionable topic, her body was craving on Mats.

Mats' presence had a bad impact on Tessa, at the view of him, she came to the saddest reality that her relaxing holiday came to an end.  His stupid smile on his stupid face rose her tantrum a little bit more.  When Tessa returned to the apartment, Nicole knew something was wrong based on the look on her friend's face expression.  This one was amused at Tessa's reaction, laughing uncontrollably each time Tessa was repeating over and over again how Mats raised his hand at her.

Nicole's clumsiness to this situation gave Tessa a feeling that her bestie didn't care about her, especially about the hot point that Mats saw her boobs.  

July 7, 2018

The big day finally arrived, Tessa turned 29, a new age for her.  Life hasn't always been kind with her, but as the strong woman she was, she always kept her head steady and proved she had enough of maturity to take care of  herself. Tessa developed a fierce maturity from a very young age, probably due to the divorce of her parents when she was still a child.  She forged herself a strong personality and was never afraid to raise her voice to say what had to be said.  Tessa was loved by everyone, first her dad and mom with whom she had a privileged strong bond, her friends, her coworkers and of course the BVB players that absolutely loved her.   Never ever a player from the team disrespected her in any way or never proposed a friends with benefits relation, she was considered as their sister.  But nevertheless this didn't refrain her from having a personal opinion on them, in fact she did find Sancho and Bürki really cute and attractive.

Nicole had been very evasive about the birthday party that she organized for her best friend.  Only two hints were revealed, first Tessa had to be sexy and the second one was to make the most of it.  As a smart girl, Tessa knew that everything seemed fishy, she felt something was on it's way and that it would be somehow of nasty.  But to please Nicole, she decided to keep that feeling for herself.

"You look fine as hell bitch!" Nicole said as both her and Tessa accessed the elevator.

🔴⚫[Tessa's Outfit]⚫🔴

"You look fine as hell bitch!" Tessa shot back sarcastically.

"So where are we going?" Tessa asked curiously as her fingers typed her phone screen answering to the many birthday wishes via her Instagram.

"You'll see!" Nicole said as she pressed the 20th floor button on the elevator control pad.

"Ehm why is the elevator going up?" Tessa frowned her eyes curiously.

"Surprise!"

"I thought we were going out!"

"Why go out when the best is right in our hand!"

"Alright!" Tessa answered but mumbled [I feel I'm having a lot of fun!] Out of earshot to Nicole.

The elevator doors opened at the 20th floor, both stepped out when Nicole grabbed a red scarf out of her bag.

"Wow wow what are you doing!" Tessa made a step back when Nicole was about to roll the red silk scarf around her eyes.

"It's a surprise baby, do you trust me?"

"Ehm.. I guess so!" Tessa said as she felt a little tensed but nodded approving Nicole's move.

"Now relax, and keep walking, don't worry I'll guide your steps, you are not going to hit nothing!"

"Ok…" Tessa said, feeling a bit more at ease.

Girl, trust me, you'll thank me!" Nicole said as they entered a room.

"Nicole, what is going on?"

"There she is…" An unfamiliar female voice exclaimed.

As the red scarf was detached off Tessa's eyes, this one got speechless at the stunning set of red themed decorations.  Masquerade masks, huge red sequins carefully wrapped around a huge table served with a delicious buffet.  Fine wine and champagne, petits-fours, luxurious lobster and a wide variety of seafood, it all looked like one of these socialite private parties.   Tessa examined each detail, but the gorgeous black and red birthday cake was too catchy to be unnoticeable.  Everything was decorated based on Tessa's favorite red color.  In the past Tessa always had amazing birthday parties, but this one was just on another level.

"My gosh, Nicole… it' s so perfect and beautiful, how… how did you do that!"

"I got some help in the name of this amazing girl, Amani!"

Tessa looked at the short woman, who looked absolutely stunning.  As Tessa looked closer at the woman, her mind sent her flashbacks, enough to recall who she was the same woman with whom Mats was at the swimming pool.

"Oh gosh!" Tessa mumbled.  "And who is Amani?" Tessa behaved foolishly.

"Oh, a friend… she's a sweet person!" Nicole said on a reassuring voice tone as she tapped on Tessa's shoulders.

"Happy Birthday sweetie, hope you like the decoration set, Nicole told me you were obsessed with the color red, so we based your little party on that!" Amani exclaimed excitedly.

"It's really beautiful, I can see you put a lot of devotion and of yourself, thank you, it's really perfect!" Tessa said in a sort of approval behavior.  

"Don't he shock darling!" Amani said funnily..

"I'm so glad you like it, we know that you're not a big fan of big parties with a hundredth of people, private parties are way funnier and much more intimate, basically anything can happen without having to justify over certain things!" Amani spoke with a suave voice tone while she approached Nicole with a surprising behavior of her having her mouth locked with Nicole exchanging a passionate kiss.  Tessa in shock had her mouth opened, in the unknown of how to react to this situation or of what to do or even what to say.

This was a new side of Nicole she found out and in the most of the explicit way.

"I'm… I…" Tessa baffled continuously with her eyes blinking several times.

"Tessa, you know me, I'm straight but sometimes crossing the line feels so good!"

"Nicole, I think I'll go back to our apartment room, you can stay here and have fun in my name!" Tessa spoke out foolishly.

"Yes, probably…" Tess was out of answers

She walked to the table where the food and drinks were displayed and served herself a glass of champagne that she gulped in one sip and filled up the empty glass immediately.

"No, you stay here, the fun hasn't even started yet, grab your glass, sit comfortably and relax!" Nicole guided Tessa to the living sofa.

"Are you girls dating or something similar to?"

"No, no, but from time to time when Nicole comes to Dubai, we get to have the best of the fun, we love to fuck!" Amani answered as she sat next to Tessa.

"Oh okay, I see, but yesterday, I saw you with Mats, at the swimming pool, you guys looked as a couple!" Tessa felt hungry to know further more about this sort of triangle couple or partner.

"Oh Mats, one of the greatest guy I know and probably the best lover ever, fuck with him for the first time and you'll get addicted to him!" Amani admitted with a sigh filled with lust.  

"Gosh, why are every woman addicted to Mats!" Tessa said with an annoyed voice.

"She hates Mats, he's the enemy!" Nicole joked.

"What, you hate on him, oh girl, this is the worst mistake of your life, he's one charming man, treats women with the biggest of the respect and will make you go insane on him, and you're totally his type of girl, sexy, gorgeous and smart, and you're definitely my type as well!" Amani said as her eyes examined Tessa from head to toes.

"Oh my gosh, girls, can we just go out, I want to go dancing to a nightclub, I want to meet some handsome boys, I want to have real fun, get drunk and behave naughty." Tessa begged with puppy eyes.

"Why to go out when we have everything here!" Amani spoke with her eyes focussed at another direction, precisely behind Tessa.  This one turned wanting to know what caught Amani's focus,  for a second she thought she saw Mats Hummels, but it was from being a mirage, Mats was really there, standing beside Tessa.

"Tessa, so nice to see you again!" Mats had one of those charming smile, but Tessa had a different opinion about it.  She had the look of a killer in her eyes, following his steps to the bar where he served himself a glass of red wine.  Tessa's anger took hold of her entirely, she was literally boiling to a point that it became hard to contain herself.  Inside she was yelling, spitting out her venom at Mats.

"Okay, tell me that this is a fucking joke?!" Tessa stood up from the sofa while she stared at Nicole with annoyance.

"Sweetie, calm down please!"

"How the fuck you want me to calm down when this fucker is here, smiling stupidly!" Tessa felt the tension rising so hard.

"Tessa, it's okay, it's your birthday, enjoy this moment please!" Amani tried to gain control of the situation while this one looked at Nicole for support.

"OMG, I can't believe it, you set me up, you set up all of this situation, Mats, the birthday, this place and everything, how could you do this to me!" Tears started to form in Tessa's eyes, not tears of sadness, but tears of rage.

"I didn't set you up darling, it was planned to have your birthday on a luxurious yacht but due to bad weather we had to find an alternative plan, and yes Mats is here because he is my friend and I thought that it was a perfect occasion for you guys to get to know each other!" Nicole shouted loudly enough.

"You know what, I never asked for all of this, I knew I should never have come here, wanna have fun, then just have fun, I'm out of this shit!" A flustered Tessa made her way out to the balcony, not even paying attention to Mats who did feel somehow bad for her.

"She's really mad Nicole, I think you should go and talk to her!" A concerned Mats said as he joined the two other girls.

"No, I have a better idea, she'll have a memorable birthday!" Amani said as she put a tiny white pill in Tessa's glass of champagne.

"Is that what I think it is?" Mats asked with a grin of satisfaction.

"Yes baby you got it, the most erotic natural drug that will make her change her mind radically!"

"Oh gosh, her wide side will take on her because believe me she is a savage!" Nicole laughed.

"Is she?" Mats frowned his eyes with curiosity.

"Oh Mats, you have no idea what you'll deal with!" Nicole winked an eye at him.

"Give me her glass, will bring it to her!" Nicole said.

[soldierallen]

Married. 10

X

Warnings: a mention of "ending it all", some crying, a kissing, a big Decision.

Featuring: Evangeline Lilly, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Henry Cavill. (Also my wifi has been out and I wasn't able to post :( so you will get another chapter this week!)

Part 9:

It's been two weeks since that day at my house, time flies when your life is getting miserable.

These two men have carried me through storm after storm breakup after breakup, I owe them I have to choose between them I can't just sit here and make up in the air decisions - "ms, line 2 for you" her thoughts scattering quickly answering the phone

"Creative director's office y/n speaking who am I speaking with" she said very professionally

"Why aren't you answering my calls?"

Mom. Oh shit

"Mom I could explain, I've been in a really bad situation and I don't know what to do.." she said she wanted the pity because well she didn't want to argue with her mother so why not make her feel bad about it.

"Honey what's going on are you coming to Thanksgiving in a few days?"

"I am but, I have a problem the whole sebastian henry thing is getting out of control, I don't know who to take with me and- I can't come alone you know that" she felt her sigh at the other end of the line which made y/n roll her eyes "who do you love? That's all this comes down this sweetheart."

"It's not that simple" a women walked in putting files on the table walking out,

"Oh and you're brother is actually coming this year" .. did I ever mention I had a brother? Probably not but my brother hated all of my friends which were the four men I care about the most he told me it was "stupid" and "childish" to have a group of boys as my friends and then I proceeded to tell him to fuck himself, that became a really good argument for my dad to break up.

He was the golden son, nothing he ever did was wrong never got in trouble always did the right thing went to college got married and raised his kids and he has a goody two shoes life style unlike me, I live in New York city in an apartment complex that used to live paycheck to paycheck to get through the weeks, he never had it hard.

I drive and go to work live alone and only have men as my best friends, everyone thought I was gay for a while until I was with Tom they stopped questioning me.

"Oh great is he gonna rub in my face that hes better than me? Most likely. love you mom"

"I love you to, just remember whoever you bring better be the one." they hung up, what did she mean by that? The one?. Like.. the one I marry someday.

○○○○

"Hey stop doing that" my mother yelled at my brother Steven "why does she have to bring her stupid friends over to the house?!" Her brother was angry that she was having them sleep over and he wasn't allowed to have his friends sleep over tonight

"I can't have a group of 7 boys plus my son in the mix, she has four friends that are boys you have four friends that are boys you have to live with it!" She said "shes a GIRL, girls aren't suppose to have friends that are BOYS!" he was only two years older than y/n at the time which made him 15 & her and her friends 13

"Girls could be friends with boys!" She said

"No they can't they're only friends with you because they want to get in your pants!"

"Steven Michael Y/L/N go to your room you're grounded" he stomped his feet into the ground going up the stairs saying swearing words underneath his breath

"do you think that's true.." she sat at the bar stool waiting for her friends to arrive she was kinda weirded out and never thought about it like that.

"Honey, I don't think that I think your brother is jealous that you have better brothers than he'll ever be to you" she whispered.

○○○○

She sat at her desk trying to figure out who she was going to bring.

"God just give me a sign or a billboard or a brick though this glass window"

A knock on her door startled her she got up, a warm smile greeted her it was sebastian "hey, I'm having a party tomorrow and you should come.." he smiled "a party?" She left from behind her desk coming closer to him

"Yes the new house and everything so you should come" he said "did you come all the way from the other side of town to tell me you wanted me at your party?" She laughed

"Yeah kinda" he nervously laughed and she put her hand on his shoulder "I'll be there" "good I want you there and everybody else."

Was this faith trying to tell me something, when I asked for answers I got sebastian at the door was this it..

I told myself I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't even want to try and than he shows up my heart beats fast and my stomach twists

"I'll see you tomorrow at 8?" She nodded "hey where are you going?" "Back to work?" "that's a 24 minute drive from here"

"I know" he smiled sleepily and fixed his suit jacket "tomorrow" he pointed at her walking away she shook her head with a smile at his tactics, he was becoming his self again, it was enlightening.

Just then she felt the whole office tense up not really sure why she walked out into the hall watching everyone shift the once talking and joking in the office became...quiet only the noises of mouse clicks and keyboard taps in the air she was very confused at this point, she walked around the office looking for answers she saw her coworker Evangelina "hey what's going on" she whispered "something's going on in Robert's office I think you should...handle it" Evangelina was blunt & she liked that about her, y/n nodded her head and headed towards Downey's office hearing absolute ruckus she knocked on the door no answer, she knocked one more time.. nothing she knocked again and with a word "mr Downey it's me I'm coming in" when she walked in papers everywhere, a whiskey glass shattered into millions of pieces.

"Mr Downey what's going on"

"We lost the investment" he yelled, she never heard him yell like that and not at her at least, "huh?"

"You know that company stock we did last week? Mr Daddario told us to specifically not to do!" She nodded her head "well was lost it and y/n if it wasn't for you this wouldn't of happened!" He yelled "excuse me?" She was baffled, why would he blame this on her she only fixed the designs and had nothing to do with the money or any other way this place operates.

"You told me not to fire you the day he called and I should've" his words felt like slashes to the back "I lost one of the biggest- most important people to this company on a count of you! Because you were having trouble with the bosses daugther"

"All I asked for was for you not to fire me on a count of his daugther!, mr Downey I've never asked for this and for you to hang this over my head that you did me a favor" He rubbed his face in complete anger he put back on his glasses and folded his arms over his chest leaning against his desk

"I want you gone by tomorrow"

Her heart dropped, her hands started to shake and she felt her breathing hitch

"I want you gone by tomorrow you're fired, that pretty little office of yours will go to someone who actually deserves it." She didn't even know what to say or how to resolve this.

"Well I don't work for you anymore so this was long awaited, you are a TOOL ROBERT! You do nothing for this company you sit on your ass and make everyone do the work for you, you're ungrateful and deserve nothing lets see how good you do without me." And with that she left the whole office and down stairs office heard the entire thing, "Evangelina" she said she threw her creative director badge around her neck she caught it "have fun working with that lunatic." She went inside of her office grabbing a couple things, she opened her top draw with the key and there was two letters she never wanted to open because she was too content with the life she had,

The Times, had contacted her back when she applied months ago and she was so content she didn't open the letter that came only a week ago.

People's Maginze as well, the only problem with people's was she would have to move across country for that she didn't know if she could handle that

she came home and took a bath her eyes swollen from crying she never knew what to do with her anger she just got so mad she would cry.

She heard the door being unlocked and she drank her wine in the bath "whoever it is can you get me my towel from in my room because honestly I wasn't expecting any guests!" She yelled out, she heard a small chuckle and paper bags fall onto the table "you know any other person would've been startled that someone could walk in at any moment" "well if it wasn't you or Henry or Sebastian or Anthony, I guess I would be dead" she drank her wine and Chris walked in with a blue long towel she put down her glass she motioned for him to turn around and that he did and she got out wrapping herself in a towel she drained the water

"Jenn will be here soon" he announced

"I got fired today"

He whipped around "you're kidding?" Chris said he gave her a comforting hug and let go

"Nope," she sipped her drink "Downey fired me on a count of the daddarios just like I said" she walked out the bathroom him following her right behind "that imbecil, I always hated that guy he's always been too big for his britches" Chris was never one to get mad unless he saw the people he cared about hurt, "I told you what was going to happen what am I gonna do now!" she opened her draws as

"You still have that Times Letter, open it." He said

"What if I get REJECTED I can't handle that OH AND EVEN BETTER Steven is coming to Thanksgiving!"

Chris sat on her door frame he opened his mouth to talk when she cut him off

" I have to choose between Henry and sebastian! I don't want to END IT ALL today!" She grabbed underwear and just when Chris was about to talk again she cut him off one more time

"AND TO THINK THINGS WERE JUST GETTING BETTER AND AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS" she used her hands to talk waving her underwear all around making Chris laugh he stopped her failing arms "stop throwing your underwear all over the place and get dressed come in the living room & let's work this out." She laughed with a smile "thank you for being here for me" "always" he booped her nose which made her laugh instantly, An hour had passed the three hung out drank and they went home.

--

It was the night of sebastian's party, she didn't know how to dress for it so she did what any women would do wear a dress there's no going wrong with wearing a dress...

"I'm glad you made it" sebastian smiled kissing her cheek giving her butterflies, he felt them to, but this time y/n butterflies didn't feel the same like they always have when he did small things like that it felt - wrong.

"Anything for you" he held her hand inside his house filled with a crowd of people he introduced her to some coworkers and a few of his friends, and he lead her outside she looked out into his backyard it looked almost exactly like his parents backyard the pool was shaped the same and his pool floaties were of weird things like a unicorn and a banana it was strange.

Two lawn chairs sat out by the pool it was dark, the moon was just perfectly bright the pool was warm and it just seemed... perfect

"What are we doing out here" she asked moving her hair out of her eyes "this is something you've never seen before I made this backyard look like my parents backyard, this is the place I always come to in my head when I need a moment, I know things for you aren't so great" they sat down on the grass,and she picked at the grown slightly listening to him talk

"But I want you to know this is a safe place, no arguing fighting or anything if you ever need some place to go this is the backyard you lost your virginity in" he smirked "you caught me?" She didn't even know he knew about that

"Of course I caught you, one minute your nagging me about smoking and drinking - which after that night I stopped for three years" he tipped his head to her and she smiled showing off her teeth which made him smile "to the next minute I come back in my backyard to see you having sex with some guy"

"Charlie watts" she added

"The kid who dressed up like harry potter that night?" She nodded her head drinking the sour red liquid in her cup, "I can't beileve you lost it to him" "what did you want me to lose it to you? You aren't interested and you made that very clear" she put the cup down "I would've wanted it to be one of the four" she was very confused "all of us love you, having you lose it to someone who really loves and cares about you would've made it that much better"

"So did you all think that way?" "No I was the only one who said it" Sebastian said "Well I never told anyone and he didn't either but I lost my lip virginity to Chris actually" she laughed "you're kidding" he laughed loudly, it was just the two of them in that moment nobody inside that house music was loud but it wasn't loud enough for her to notice.

"Oh I can't wait to bug him about that!"

"I promised I wouldn't tell!" "Well you told!" Sebastian saw y/n's phone on the lawn chair next to her car keys and the only thought in his mind... push her in the pool

"How much you like that dress you're wearing?" He asked, she wasn't waiting for that at all

"it's nice I guess I didn't know how to dress to this thing I mean honestly I didn't even think I would've came because of whole getting fired -" as she spoke she wasn't realizing what was happening as sebastian pushed her into the pool she fell in with a laugh "you know you were always a little bitch" she said wiping her eyes and pushing her hair out of face "yeah people have told me that" he peeled his shirt off his body and took his shoes off and jumped in to making the water splash on her "couldn't you just ASK me to get in the pool you know I would've" she swam closer to him he pushed his hair back his lips dripping with water as he spoke "y/n I want you to have fun, you never have fun anymore it's always work, it never got you anywhere I want you to feel something" he got closer to her as well "what am I suppose to feel" she asked

"happiness, love. that's what you deserve" his face got closer to hers, she was ready for this to be the first time her lips were on his, his wet face dripped onto her skin "if you don't want this stop me."

In a slow whisper "I want this"she said their lips touched together so lightly it felt like heaven to him his hands were on her hips she was leaned against the wall of pool, it felt as if their lips matched a perfect rhythm, finally

He detached his lips from hers, his lips on her neck making a small red blotch this was what she waited for, and it felt... Wrong, like she had been betraying henry. her hand on his skin felt so new to him he'd never felt like this before it was so amazing finally after months having her in his arms kissing her loving her the way she should be loved.

She didn't love him, she loved Henry. The kiss didn't really feel the way she wanted it to be.

Sebastian heard the glass door opening, she didn't, he didn't really care who it was to be completely honest he's got the girl.

"I see you two have forgiven each other, I thought it was take some time but a week?" The voice she knew all too well, a voice she heard for months on end giving her support sounded so hurt and upset, she knew she fucked up.

"Henry" she pulled away from sebastian, Henry is right here, he looked like he was getting choked up she saw it in his eyes she tried to quickly get herself out of the pool and he turned around walking back to the glass doors, "Henry wait" she yelled her soaking wet body following him

he knew she wasn't going to pick him Chris and Jenn gave him false hope again, he thought he could catch sebastian in the act kissing another women and to start something when he got a bit closer revealing it was her this whole time, he was crushed.

She kept yelling after him he wouldn't answer he wasn't mad or angry he was trying to hold back his hurt.

she followed him onto the porch "Henry" after her fourth yell of his name he turned around, the sound of party loud she closed the door behind her hearing muffled noise. "you love him, you'll never love me the way you love him and I just have to except it and all these months I finally thought shes done with him and this is my chance i got the girl" he said he stopped half way looking at her dripping everywhere she walked down the stairs

"Yeah however I needed to know what i wanted, who I wanted."

"And you've made your choice I get it." he opened the door to his car about to get in

"I did, henry it's you." He stopped his movements looking at her through the window of the door he shut the door loudly walking closer to her, as she looked at him getting closer

"Don't say things like that when am in a time of hurt, I'm losing you - you can't just say things like that I care about you and I put you before everyone else." His voice was slow and sounded so hurt

"tonight I made my decision, Henry since this whole time I thought it's always been him I never truly loved him and now I know I needed this one night of reassurance that it was over, and I love someone else it's you it's always been you" he hesitated what he was about to do watching him kiss her he didn't feel right kissing her however it was something that had to be done he pulled in her soaking wet body into his, his white t shirt making an imprint of her body, she kissed him with so much passion she thought she would explode,

Sebastian said he wants her to feel happiness, love. she didn't feel that with him, she didnt feel anything with him it was so anticlimactic she thought this will be my choice I'll be with Sebastian like I've always wanted he will be with me and we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together when in reality.. the fire was dead and the feeling was lost maybe he felt something she didn't not anymore.

"Let's get you out of these clothes" he said out of breath, "my phone and keys are at the pool" he nodded "hurry" he pulled her forearm towards himself giving her one more kiss She had a few seconds to herself and shes never been more happy.

She saw sebastian drying himself off talking to some friends of his, it didn't even faze her she didn't want him anymore "hey" he said pulling her to the side for a second, "I heard everything" she nodded her head "you guys look great together I'm really sorry that I almost ruined it for you both" she hugged him "thank you" he squeezed her body tightly "go get him" he let go of her, he didn't want to let go of her and let her end up with Henry however she was happy and it's what she wanted that's all he wanted for her. She went and got her keys her phone

she looked at Henry through the driver's seat window opening the door he was just sitting there, he gave a small smile when she appeared "hey what's wrong" she rubbed his arm with worried eyes

"Nothing, not anymore." he kissed her lips once more she felt her stomach twist "I'll follow you home" he nodded, after a while they got to her apartment and she changed and gave Henry his blue hoodie he left here a few days ago she straddled his lap her hands on his shoulders his hands on her waist studying her weight he kissed her lovingly her hands ran through his hair and he loved the feeling he let out small moan which she wasn't expecting and she let go "you have a hair thing"

"I have a y/n thing" she laughed so hard she fell over to the side, he's so cheesy she thought. making him smile holding her body in place so she doesn't fall off the couch,

he's a one of a kind.

Tagged @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandomsohmy @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91 @gravedollie666 @inlovewith3 // if anyone wants to be untagged or tagged please leave a message ty♡ also I do not own any gifs or images of any kind.

[terpsichoreed]

Tl;dr party success! (Rambles)

Company holiday party was off the chain this year. Better than last year, which was hard to beat.

I got my hair did at the local place and wore my fancy heels so I looked like a sophisticated prom queen. Granger Danger'd everyone into next week and I showed up for work Monday in the frumpiest thing I own to prove I *can* put in effort into my appearance but I choose not to except for one day out of the year.

There was a dinner and then a speech made by Golf Dad. He kept the mic too far from his mouth and kinda droned a little bit. Went through company process and thanking each department and person for their contributions to that step of the process. I was even mentioned by name. He said I do a little bit of everything to help out. For Golf Dad's standards, the speech was really sentimental and heartfelt (not so much for the normal population). At work Monday he was nervous that he messed it up and I told him he did fine. That's the closest he gets to "bonding" and I am greatful he confided in me.

I didn't win any of the big $$ prizes but they did have door prizes (company travel mug, company USB stick, and chocolate bars).

The DJ pretty much played slow songs only when he had to or I needed a break and he could tell. The first three songs of the night were obligatory for the old married couples so they could dance and the leave. Later on there were some requests made for slow dances. Tall coworker and I even did a waltz to one of the slow songs because we were so bored waiting for something up tempo to come on. He left early because he had another event to get to, so that left me to mingle and socialize during those songs. Mingling and socializing are only before and during dinner, not after. Ugh.

One of the people I work under was lit and had endless praise for the work I do for them. I was so surprised to be recognized but wish it wasn't because of alcohol influence.

Tall coworker taught me more ballroom dances and we put everyone to shame (I know swing which is similar to whatever four-count step he was doing. All the upper body and moves were the same). I was not at all getting the three-step count, though I think this was because we were trying to do it in four... Switch to four and this Clutzilla became a graceful ballerina.

Harry and Marino were wallflowers. I tried to get them out on the floor but nothing came of it. I tried to get Harry to dance by threatening to dab rhythmically at him; obviously he wasn't very threatened. He never danced other than Cupid Shuffle where Brent physically pulled him onto the dance floor.

After like 90 minutes of dancing I had to put on my flats and by then most of the people had left.

The DJ made up the Molly challenge: play every song that has a line dance and when Moll doesn't know it or has to sit down and rest then she loses. I won it and had to teach the other dancers. Brent's wife Ronda was also playing but she kept throwing me freebies like "nobody knows this Mr. DJ, skip to the next one." Chad's wife Christine was out on the floor too. Though it was mostly me and Ronda and Michael's wife. One of the husbands farted on the dance floor, tried to blame me, and then blamed all women collectively and said "what are you women good for if all you do is get together and fart at the same time?!"

The party was set to end at midnight. About quarter to 12, a bunch of drunk girls crash the party and take over the dance floor. There were only ten of us left (we had 60+ attendees) so it wasn't a big deal. Brent thought I was ticked at them when really I was tired. And of course yesterday he made a joke that I got myself a girlfriend. I mean the drunk girl group leader did sort of almost grind on me but I was into it. A few of the guys might think I'm gay. GOOD.

Tl;dr I am always down for a free dance party and free cheesecake. The conversations I had were great and everyone had a good time. And I wasn't a bright shade of red the whole time.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Moving In

Clare: smirked at him. "Always nice to hear." She joked. "Mmmhmm." Clare kissed Drew chastely again. She raised her eyebrows when she heard the long list of rooms they still hadn't had sex in. "That is quite the list. I was just thinking of the living room, bathrooms, and maybe the kitchen. Is the basement furnished?" Clare asked curiously realizing she hadn't even seen the whole house yet. "And what is the attic like?" She reached her hand up to run her fingertips over Drew's smooth clean shaven face. "I don't know babe. I'm not that big on facial hair but you might look even sexier with a mustache and a beard. Who knows. I might allow you to skip shaving for awhile around the holidays. Oh, of course I will dress up as Mrs. Clause. But I'll only have gray hair if I don't dye it back brown. I suppose I can sacrifice my looks once a year." Clare pecked Drew's lips. "No babies. I promise. I'm still taking the pill. You do know I wouldn't be this calm if I thought you got me pregnant right?" She wanted Drew to make her something else before he made her a mom. Not to mention how this would be the worst possible time for them both career wise, and Clare did not need any extra stress. "I know but I don't like them thinking we're irresponsible." She took a deep breath and let it out. "Remember when I first told you about the break in and you did offer to help but I acted like a bitch and said I didn't need to be protected? Then we started to fall in love...and I don't know. I was still too stubborn and embarrassed to tell you the truth, Drew. Plus I didn't want to feel pressured to move in here before I was ready. All these months, I lay awake most nights when I'm not with you because I can't sleep. When I do I have these nightmares about the robbers coming back to rape and kill me. Or more and more often, I've been having terrible nightmares about them hurting you because you tried to keep me safe. Which makes it even harder for me to tell you this." Clare was looking at Drew the whole time she talked but she started shaking when she began to describe the dreams.

Drew: smiled at Clare. "I don't know what the attic is like, but someone asked me if she and her boyfriend can have sex in it so I doubt it's that bad. I obviously told them to go home and have sex there." he stated. "But the basement is furnished and is used as a game room. I have a TV down there, pool table, couch, video games, and a fridge. We can christen any room you want." he assured and kissed her again. A soft chuckle fell from his lips when Clare mentioned him not shaving when they're older and how he'd look with a beard and mustache. "I went a month without shaving. When I took a job to get my own place, my boss was American and told us the month of November in America is known as No Shave November and guys don't shave their facial hair. That at the end of the month if we didn't shave he'd donate $30 for charity per person. I didn't shave that month and one of my coworkers kept rubbing my face. By the end of November I had a beard and my boss took a picture of all of us. He hung it in his office, but I have a picture with the female coworker, her name is Allison and I only remember that because she has her name tag on in the photo." he chuckled the last part and kissed Clare again. "I'll have to show you that photo and I'd like if you'd sacrifice your looks for the holidays since I'll have to sacrifice my looks too." he smiled at her and chuckled a bit. "Honestly if you were pregnant, I'd like to think you wouldn't be so pissed you'd go on a killing spree so to speak. Like one minute you're Clare, the next you're a fire breathing dragon set out to rip everyone's head off." he shrugged and laced their fingers together. "I want to be married before I get you pregnant. I don't want to use protection on our honeymoon and I know we'll probably leave the hotel room." he smiled at her and nodded when she said she didn't want people to think they're irresponsible. "Tell them you're on birth control or that we're making sure we're safe?" he shrugged not really knowing how to help and listened to her confess about what she's been going through. "That explains why you sleep more when you're here, though I thought half of it was because of the sex..." he trailed off. "I would've got an alarm for you and you weren't a bitch. We had an agreement and were trying to keep distance, besides you would've been able to sleep in a guest room if you wanted. I wouldn't have minded and I would never pressure to move in here." he assured and kissed her chastely. "But I forgot to tell you this. I didn't cheat, but there was another girl in my bed about last weekend. I was so busy moving you in I forgot to tell you I was babysitting for someone. Anyway the baby and I ended up falling asleep in here. She fell asleep on my chest with my hand around her. Do you know that babies cry a lot? Like a whole lot. I didn't know that something so small could cry so much or smell so bad." he stated and pulled out his phone. "I just got the picture when I came home today and it reminded me that I still haven't told you." he said and pulled out his phone to show her the picture of him holding a two month old on his chest and both of them were sleeping covered up with a blanket. "Her mom took the picture while the dad took the bassinet to the car and gathered everything else. I'm pretty sure they were both very tired since they work nights. They have a normal babysitter, but their babysitter was unavailable for whatever reason." he added and looked at her. "I love you." he whispered softly.