#and it hit...very very close to home.

[notbecauseofvictories]

how are we fellas. how's life. I am currently a little sozzled and writing farewell letters to my coworkers, the boss I love, the team I adore, and it sucks unbelievably. But I have decided to take this other job, because otherwise I think I'll get sucked into liking my team and the people there and that's simply not a long term plan. Today the recruiter told me that I have "growth potential" and I think it was meant as a compliment but I wish she'd just said that I was splendiferous and amazing because otherwise I'm stepping off the edge of the earth because someone thinks they can fix me, and buddy, if I could fix myself I would have by now.

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “presenting: an overthinker” prompts

“Do they actually like me?” 

Mind racing with a million thoughts about the possibility of things, and being scared they’ll actually happen, even if they are irrational as all hell. 

“So I… You know what, don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure? Because when you say that, that makes me worry more.” 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” 

“Do I even deserve any of this?” 

The constant need for reassurance, and even that isn’t enough to keep your thoughts at bay. 

Feeling the need to apologise for something you didn’t even do wrong.

Sitting in your anxiety and muddled up thoughts for hours when you don’t get a reply from that one person in a timely manner; wondering if you’ve fucked it all up with whatever you’ve said.

Reaching out to them multiple times and making your spiral worse when they stay silent on you.

It gets to the point where your overthinking feeds into your already growing anxiety, overwhelming you and eventually drawing tears out of you.

It gets so bad to the point where your chest feels tight, you feel numb and the world around you eventually becomes a monotonous blur because you’re too focused on this one thing you’re overthinking about. 

The rational subconscious of yours tries to drag you back to the side where things are okay and it’s really not that bad because it really isn’t that bad, but that small, irrational part of you takes ahold of you and continues to anchor you down.

You try to redirect your thoughts and it works for a bit… But then you eventually come back around to those thoughts. Sometimes, redirecting doesn’t work so you end up drowning in your own head.

Wondering if you’re being annoying by reaching out, even though you’ve been holding yourself back quite a lot, knowing you’re not being too much at all. Far from it, in fact. 

There are days when you so desperately wish you can escape your brain. Crawl out of your own skin, be someone who isn’t… Whatever the fuck this is. 

“I don’t want to be too much. I don’t want to need constant reassurance. It’s as suffocating for you as it is for me, maybe even more so, because I’m living in my own head, constantly. And it’s not something I can fucking just get out of overnight.” 

“I need to end this for my own good.” 

Drowning in your own never-ending spiral of negative thoughts. 

“Do you even care? Do you still love me? Does any of this even…”

“I’m sorry that/I hate that my brain is wired this way.” 

Join my Discord server: Steaming Dumplings Nation

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ed is absolutely panicking in 2x7 bc he’s seeing stede having the time of his life being a famous pirate and he’s genuinely happy for stede but also he wants out of this life and he’s afraid stede will choose piracy over him and so he’s leaving first before stede can leave him again, all of which is bc deep down ed still thinks he’s unlovable and he’s scared to get hurt by stede again and he’s handling everything very badly

all that being said

the fact that ed has already decided that he can’t choose piracy for stede’s sake is so important to me

piracy was slowly killing ed long before stede entered the picture. and now that ed’s decided that he wants warmth and food and orgasms and he wants to live he’s not going to force himself to do a job that makes him fucking miserable. he still might not think he’s worth love and not worth choosing, but he’s at least moved past thinking he deserves to die. he’s past making himself so miserable that he wants to die. ed still has a lot of work to do but he’s making good progress and i’m proud of him.

[angrylesbianstereotype]

Every other aspect of Jesse’s trauma makes me go oh no poor blorbo :( but his relationship w his parents and thinking ab it in the context of the series aftermath actually makes me unwell… they never even knew him they only ever saw the worst in him and now they’ve had that validated by his own actions and they’ll never know how sorry he is and that he was a good kid at heart and they didn’t imagine it and they still love him but how can they have loved him if they never even knew him and only ever saw the worst in him *flatlines*

[offshore-brinicle]

Can I say though Yi Sang and Aeng-du's instant connection and solidarity is one of my favorite things about this event, it's just so sweet and also so special how they find that feeling of safety just from also knowing someone from the homeland they have left behind while they remain so out of place in The City. It stands out so much when the general mentality of the world is "everyone for themselves" but S Corp's people and those who had to leave it behind seem to have found so much understanding and sympathy with each other.

Overall I find it so interesting and unique that more than any other District in The City the people of District 19 feel such genuine attachment to the land and its heritage, not just with Aeung-du, Kim and the rest of the Blade Lineage but going back to Dongbaek and Dongrang's EGOs too, it's just so special to see that very united sense of culture and heritage in a world that despite being multicultural and multilingual seems to have largely left such notions behind

[ahalliance]

just finished Nimona… DAMN does it feel good to watch such an openly queer movie man

[cool-frog-hours]

I love Astarion. My Tav’s feelings are more… complicated. ❄️🌸

Text/Speech Bubbles:

Astarion: *flirting as a way to deflect and to manipulate Tav*

Arrow text: My incredibly autistic rogue who hates being bullshitted

Tav: “Listen, I don’t know what kind of shit you’re trying to pull, but it is NOT gonna work on me- Got it?”

Astarion: “I don’t know what you’re talking about darling~ ”

Tav: “Yes, you do. I like you Astarion. More than you’d think. But do not mistake my kindness for yielding.

Goodnight!”

Astarion: “… heh.

May I still feed on you tonight?”

Tav: “Yes! Now, FUCK OFF!!!”

[dandyghest]

I received my copy of @yugsly's new book Viscera Objectica a little while ago and finally had a slice of time enough to read through it and appreciate it fully !! ^-^ Really stunning artwork and an absolutely beautiful story - I'm very pleased that a story like this has been told so lovingly and exists out in the published world now!!

[corvidaeconundrum]

The Lovers - In life, one must find their commitment, and in love, one must choose. How much will you owe to the union you sacrifice yourself for? Find love, find strength, but do not lose self in the pursuit of balance.

I'm not sure how many details I did or did not get right considering the ref has not been colored yet, but I'm hoping I got somewhere in the ball park. This was awesome to do ( @mustangs-flames )

[frozentrash]

About the last Buddy Daddies Episode.

A lot of people are talking about how Kazuki basically saw Rei and was like: let me fix him.

And I don't mean in a toxic way. More a let me help him get better you know?

And we LOVE that for Kazuki and Rei. They found each other when they both needed someone to be there.

But I can't stop thinking about how Rei LET HIM help him. As someone who also struggled with depression and the whole cleaning and eating and all that jazz not working, I know how hard it is to let people help you.

Rei let Kazuki clean the house.

He let him even bath him.

He let him cut his hair.

He let him cook and take care of him.

And that is so fucking hard. When I was at my lowest and in desperate need of help, it took a lot for me to let people in my house and let them help me clean the kitchen and all that.

So yes. I am very emotional about that.

I love them so so much.

[aleksanderscult]

Why do you hate Mal?

(TW!: verbal abuse! slut shaming! alcoholism!)

Well, long story short, he's a huge dick.

I could write three long metas about his toxicity and why I dislike him but I don't want to tire my fingers for him. 😑

Maybe because of his slut-shaming behaviour?

Oh and what is this? Ah yes, Mal being angry that Alina found happiness away from him:

I'm so sorry Mal that Alina wasn't tortured so you could feel okay. I'm so sorry that she didn't feel insecure enough to run back in your arms, needing you and depending on you like you always wanted for her.

You know, that's the thing with Mal. He did nothing to Alina.

Not when his "friend" was mocking her appearance (and yes this is serious for me because I too have a very thin body and people from my own family have mocked me for it. So it's no joke).

Not when she was apparently sad that he fucked around girls knowing that she knew.

He did literally nothing until Alina wanted to fuck the Darkling and showed interest for him.

(slut shaming her even here)

From then on he ✨magically✨ noticed her out of nowhere and he said that "now I see you".

BULLSHIT!!

According to Mal, it's okay if he fucks girls every other night but it's not okay when Alina wants to do it with a man that....I don't know. Supported her power and abilities maybe?

And he seems constantly so concerned that she has fucked him that he apparently doesn't care if she's truly okay.

What a normal person would say to Alina: "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I'm sorry you had to go through this."

What Mal said to Alina: "FUCK TORTURE! DID HE FUCK YOU BY ANY CHANCE?!?!"

He's so unserious FR

That's his only concern. If Alina likes or fucked the Darkling (sometimes I wish she had done the latter just so I could see Mal's face after it).

Also! He's an extraordinary bad influence for Alina and her confidence! 😍

A few minutes ago, Alina decided to return to the Little Palace to lead. To do the right thing and stand in this war.

And now we have Mal threaten her: "If you go, I might not follow!!"

And that shattered Alina's confidence. Now she feels ashamed ("maybe he doesn't want me", "maybe he'll leave me") and after that passage when Mal exits the tent, Alina starts thinking "What am I doing? I'm no soldier, or Saint. How will I make it?"

Mal is an influence that constantly wears her down emotionally by making her doubt herself, making her have guilts and making her thoughts come back to him constantly ('cause he's always "What about me?? Think of me!! Look at how shit I feel!!").

Again, he makes the whole matter revolve around him.

There is a civil war ongoing and Mal is like "Okay, but what about me, Alina??!!?!"

LIKE BRO NOBODY GIVES TWO SHITS ABOUT YOU!! THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING HERE!!

And another toxic trait of his. Apparently, if a woman says "no" to him, it's unacceptable:

(The first passage is when Mal tried to kiss her but Alina saw the Darkling behind his back and the second one is when Alina saw Mal kissing Zoya, btw)

He gets angry for the fact that Alina withdrew from his attempted kiss. And apparently he "knows what that means" because every girl he had ever kissed was willing to him.

I'm sorry, Mal, for the fact that a girl changed her mind at the last minute.

If a girl changes her mind, then you must respect that. Not shout at her. NO MEANS NO, MAL.

Mal is that type of guy that throws you in bed, you kiss him and all, and at the last minute when you change your mind and don't want to go for it (for whatever reason the girl might have of course) he gets angry and says "BUT YOU SAID "YES" TWO MINUTES AGO!!!"

He gives me the ick for real, guys.

And, of course, his fury for Alina's power and status. Because, since she gained them, she's no longer depended on him.

Yes, people. Mal wanted to take out a piece of her soul essentially, so he could have her! Romantic!! 🤩🤩

Also, the fact that he was constantly looking like shit in S&S because he was drunk every night is also selfish of him. Mal was Alina's personal guard and protector. One of her three closest ones. By doing this, by having this behaviour, he gives a VERY bad image to Alina.

Imagine what the nobles would think if they saw him this way. The power of image is everything. Nikolai knew it. The Darkling knew it. Even Alina came to know it. By having one of your protectors drinking heavily all night, get into fights and look like shit makes Alina feel embarrassed for the image she gives to the other people. And she was actually in a very delicate position at that time, because she had to gain the trust of the King, his counselors and nobles. Mal should know better than embarrassing her.

Imagine if you were in a high position for the first time in your life, trying to make an impression so everything could go alright and, in the meanwhile, your guardian walks around drunk.

This is not good. In today's world, they fire such people from their work.

And all these bullshit from him in R&R saying "I told stories of you from your childhood so they could see the real Alina" is also bullshit. Bitch, if you wanted to do something good, look respectable for the part. If you want to cry and drink kvas 24/7 then resign, lock yourself up and do it. Don't embarrass your boss.

Also, Bardugo had said that after S&S she received a lot of negative comments about Mal's character. So it's no wonder she made him suddenly all "good" in R&R. She wanted to give reasons to the readers to like him and support his eventual marriage with Alina.

Anyways, I know people will say that the Darkling was no better but, guys...

This is not a competition. Of who is better or worse.

And just like another person had once said in this fandom "The Darkling represents a fairytale character while Mal reminds you of every jerk you've met in your life"

And it's a perfect quote to describe them.

The Darkling is the type of guy we all fall in love in fiction. A fantastical character that does bad deeds but still you swoon over.

While Mal is that asshole you met in high school treating you like shit. That boy you were seeing in corridors flirting with every girl he saw and being a fuckboy. That relationship you had that undermined your value.

Mal is a character that hits very close at home for the readers (with his actions and personality).

This post about him and M*lina explains my thoughts perfectly.

Go read it when you can, guys. It's an incredible mini meta.

[the-woman-upstairs]

It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

[blimbo-buddy]

Remember when Encanto came out and it had a clear message of the faults of many Latino/Hispanic families and the generational trauma that can haunt one's family, only being able to be broken if one stops the cycle and also covered the armed conflict in Colombia at the time and nearly everybody that watched it cried when Abuela finally apologized for causing so much stress on everybody: And then a group of people pointed at it and went "It's about gay people!"

[pass-the-5sauce]

If this doesn't describe Michael and Luke to a T, i don't know what does.

[igelmanz]

Thinking about writing a purely self indulgent Larissa x Reader oneshot where Reader is an asexual but they are not out to Larissa and dealing with their sexuality is incredibly hard for them, as well as communicating their feelings. So they do have sex with Larissa but they are always left feeling awful, unable to admit that and they don’t know how to confront the fact that despite the reactions of their body they don’t feel anything when they have sex and they are extremely scared to tell Larissa bc of reactions of past partners, general self doubts etc. BUT Larissa is actually an attentive partner who listens to and is there for Reader when they first struggle to open up but eventually do.

Would be hurt/comfort, Angst with a happy ending, and overall just a general lack of communication and anxiousness, ended with fluff

[h-worksrambles]

“I’m not figuring things out, man... I just...I just wish I could be doing something.”

Continuing my art of the main characters of Echo, we have Carl struggling with some dark thoughts.