#and it’s a sorta famous lil line

[aimfor-theheart]

hi again!! im the same anon with the niki song reccs! im glad you appreciated my first ask cuz i was nervous that itd look like an unsolicited reccommendation 🥹

can i just ramble a bit more because—PLEASE the stage play format!! ive only read a few ever but the way kaeya's face is almost always shadowed or turned away from the audience to show his shady-ish and closed-off nature⁉️ how it ties in with his in-game-all-the-world's-a-stage thing⁉️ the way the fic plays around the concepts and thin lines of truth and lies, secrets, show and pretend⁉️ I AM ALL FOR ITTT 😩🩷🫶 and the way you describe the setting, its also very reminiscent of like, the paper storybook animation mondstadt had in some of its cutscenes!! every time i read it i can imagine myself in a proscenium, thrust, or black box stage akzjdjfkdsk

also if you dont mind me asking, what are some songs in your playlist for my heart, your song? id love to give them a listen!! 🩷

omg no anon you’re all good!! i loooove song recs like all the time!! and i also just think its really sweet you have songs that you associate w a fic of mine 😭 like i could cry forever 😭😭💗

ANDDD 😭😭 the fact that you picked up on kaeya’s staging!! anon!! i’m so glad that it came across!!! even in writing scenes for stories and not plays, i think about the like “staging” of them quite a lot, often like i’m an audience member myself and i’m always trying to find unique “stage pictures” or like…..these “pictures” that convey something, like in theater. and i loved the idea of having kaeya’s face and staging always away from the audience until he reads the letter at the end of act ii!! and i could CRYYY to compare the scenes to the mondstadt storybook 🥺🥺💗💗 waahhhh thank you so much this fr means the world to me oh my god 💗💗

i do not mind at all!! my heart, your song has a very long playlist with a lot of live music on it bc the reader is a performer!! also some from musicals where i took inspo on the kinds of songs reader was performing!! here are some of my favs on that like 4 hour long playlist:

1. this live more acoustic version of Venus as a Boy by Bjork

2. Would That I by Hozier

3. Lover’s Desire by Anais Mitchell for more upbeat “chase” scenes as i call them—lots of flirting and playing and falling.

as things start to get angstier and reader gets more reckless:

4. Hymn / Her by Jordaan Mason

5. Eric by Mitski

6. I Don’t Care Much from the 1998 Broadway Cast Recording of Cabaret (this is actually the song i kinda envisioned reader playing at diluc’s in the postface to scene ix—or something like this)

7. this live version of Shrike by Hozier

and for some softer, more healing ones that are towards the end of this playlist, and that i’ve been writing act iii to!

8. No One Else from the Broadway Recording of Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

9. An Ending (Ascent) by Brian Eno

10. this piano version of Avatar’s Love from ATLA because I’ve always had a soft spot for this melody lol

sorry if this got kinda long 🙈🙈 but fr the playlist is actually like. 3 hours jfkdjska and i’ve tried to make all the songs flow into each other genre/sound wise….as well as have a complete arc of the story bc i’m just. insane LMAO

but thank you so so so much again—for your song recs previously and also your lovely thoughts and further curiosity for music 😭💗💗💗 it means a lot to me and makes me so excited jfkdjska

[shopcat]

my little thoughts about rockstar/musician eddie is that, yeah he'd likely not enjoy being famous, i think that before the upside down he would've clung to the idea of his band making it big BC it would take him out of hawkins, like a carrot on a stick almost lol.

but i think after s4 he would be happy with being like an underground band, playing bars and shit, maybe make some demo tapes, maybe sell some tapes made out of someone's basement at their gigs, homemade album cover and all, having another job, doing something he enjoys (idk what, maybe in a record store or like being a mechanic, idk what he would enjoy doing tbh, but just something u dont have to study for a billion years to be able to work with) and just like spend some of his free time playing and making music with a group of ppl, probably not the CC guys tho. i feel like he would always treasure that time in his life, but tbh i think they wouldn't work very well together as a band right after s4.

i think it would take eddie some time to get back to playing music, especially infront of other ppl, and i feel like the other guys would either graduate and go do their own thing, or have a hard time adjusting to eddie being different and wanting different things than before, idk i just think that their band would be a lil unbalanced at that time, maybe a few years down the line they could play together again. but i honestly think that eddie would've found another band before then, but like him and the CC guys might play like at home just for fun, a lil jam session, but for playing bars and stuff? i think Eddie would play in another band.

like i think that for Eddie to be completely comfortable in like expressing himself through music, his primary band would have to be largely unconnected to hawkins and all that shit, both bc then they didn't know him before all of that happened, but also bc he would feel less like him expressing himself would reveal something he shouldn't, less like he's walking on eggshells sorta.

also,..no one come for me, but most of the cc guys seem like theyre just eddies high school friends, like they are friends and they enjoy his company and they care about him, but i don't think they are all super duper close or anything, like i can see them losing contact after high school v easily,..maybe bc i myself have friends from like 2nd grade who i was really close to and then after high school we just don't talk much, and like i still care about them and i miss them sometimes, but we just dont talk, and nothing in particular happened to make it that way. so like i guess i see the cc guys a bit like that..and also they are all like two years younger than Eddie at least, so it's not v likely that they were all close friends before high school either.

oops this got v long, hope u care, sorry if u don't <3

I DO CARE i agree w all of this i think that like while there's definitely a certain something something in him being able to do the ultimate stick it to the man and prove everyone wrong and make it BIG TIME! or what have you the reality is he is just some 20 odd year old guyyyyy who plays a lil guitar... a lot of the appeal for his musician skills specifically FOR ME is that he is still sort of such a loveable loser like that post that's like he plays the hideout every tuesday and steve and robin go and cheer and clap the house down and there's something really lovely in that. just having the most medicore band ever. JUST SOMETHING really nice in him being able to do what he loves but still be objectively a small town boy with big city dreams. sniffles. also tbh the way trauma workz i think it would take him a while to even want to get back into the groove bc of how connected his playing was to his ... death ... i always forget he literally died. anyway.

[hshouse]

hi lu,

i am a bit lost and need some advice. i am on the adhd spectrum and in a premed sorta course. its not as intense where im from but i still need to put 8 hours of study everyday apart from my classes. i haven't been able to achieve it completely. and im a type b girlie😭. can you please give me some scheduling tips which you think can prove to be efficient for me. also, is it better to study when you know you're understanding things and will remember them or forcing yourself to read and remember when your brain outright refuses to aka quality or quantity of studying?

Hi bby,

98% of the times, I’m quality over quantity. If you are not understanding and keep going you are just wasting your own time, getting tired and potentially mislabelling things as “studied” when they really were not. The other 2% is when things just need to get done period. Like if you need to write a paper I think a lot of vaguely bad writing is better than 1 good paragraph.

First and main tip is to have all your tasks organized. I can’t stress enough how much this will help. Open an excel/google sheets file and literally just write down every single thing that you need to do. Like “read chapter 1” “take notes on chapter 1” “do practice problems chapter 1” and so on. Take like an hour and try to write all of it down. This will help you not waste time in the future being like what should I do now?? or feeling lost/overwhelmed. You have a list now. All you have to do is do the list. This also helps when choosing what task fits your current state of mind. If you are super tired, maybe just take notes on the reading you already did or on the powerpoints (kinda mechanic, not much brain power). If you are like pumped ready to go do some of the heavy readings to get rid of them.

Second tip would be to do sprints. I do 1h but since you have adhd, I’d recommend 30 mins. You get whatever task needs to get done and do it for 30 mins. Once the 30 mins is up you move on to another. I usually have like 4 “slots” and will like circle back to the first one if I didn’t finish it the first time etc. but you can do whatever. But it is important to really change tasks like go from reading to typing to making a flowchart idk. If you have an ipad I’d put the timer there or on your computer and literally put your phone in another room.

You also gotta have a bad bitch attitude. I really mean this. You gotta be like like “I’m that fucking smart and I will do all of this and I will be a rich ass famous doctor.” You can’t lose sight of the big picture. Like the final exam is not the end line. If you focus too much on this one class as like a whole thing you will get anxious. This is like one tiny lil block of your bad bitch journey. Just needs to get done. Thats it. Not a big deal. Not worth suffering. It’s just a task.

Alsoooo don’t dwell on being “type B”. I think it’s very easy to convince yourself you are something that is negative (in this context, being type A is much easier) so you can feel better about stuff. You are a future doctor. That’s what you are.

Good luck!!! Kick some academic ass!

[beyondd-dazedd]

bren’s thoughts from this past episode because i’ve seen it so many times now and i’ve got a lot of thoughts so here’s season 2 episode 7 of hsmtmts (a rant):

portwell morning announcements?? ICONIC whether you’re vibing with a romantic or platonic endgame the fondness and their chemistry is amazing. (sofia wylie and matt cornett better be sending their hospital bill to disney because they are literally carrying season 2 on their backs and i said what i said.)

the rini drama?? feels bad. like the way they built up the end of season 1 with them to have it come crashing down feels like drama just for the sake of drama and honestly it’s a little boring to me which is unfortunate because i really did like them season 1.

ricky my sweet baby ricky. you need therapy. but also he was right about the rose song and i stand by that. it doesn’t fit the show and i think he has a right to try to explain his feelings without nini shutting him down. i am all for nini focusing on her own music and thriving through that but don’t shut him down sis that ain’t it

the costume reveal scene was so funny from the DEH thing to carlos popping off on kourt to seb mediating to EJ and kourt’s convo about the costume i thought it was all really funny. also carlos totally had the right to snap at kourt because wtf kourt. HOWEVER i loved seeing her all giggly and excited. it’s a side of her character we haven’t really seen yet and i think dara completely embodied that high school first real relationship giddiness. also loved miss jenn saying don’t dance with the enemy and all of them IMMEDIATELY ignoring her and going to north high followed by her also ignoring her own advice and going as well.

all of them joining together to sneaky steal the mask back?? iconic. peak friendship vibes. carlos being the leader of the group in a sense this season is something i’m LIVING for. also Gina 1.0 to 2.0 is a spiritual journey and i’m so proud of her. Ash dressing up for the mission?? that’s so her (she’s undercover let her live wildcats). the disappointment in carlos’s face when they all finished the wildcat cheer?? that got me. frankie does so well with carlos’s facial acting and i love it.

also gina baby you got all these boys vying for your attention why are you wasting your time on ricky?? ricky baby i love you but you’re being an asshat about that whole thing. the way ricky hasn’t really taken into consideration gina’s feelings is not it. he really is just kind of trapped in his own world and refuses to see anything from someone else’s perspective. i saw someone talk about how ricky is the beast in this season. like yes he’s playing the beast but he’s also metaphorically taken on that role. he’s lashing out at people who don’t deserve it, he feels misunderstood, he’s struggling, etc.

ANYWAYS that’s my thoughts of rina right now so back to the episode. EJ coming in to help get gina out of the situation with the guy was fake dating excellence truly. there’s no way he heard what was being said since you can’t see him in the background at all so either he’s picked up on gina’s reactions so well that he could tell she was uncomfortable or he had a lil jealous moment. either way i’m here for it. and again whether you like them platonically together or romantically together that portwell scene was adorable as hell. the teasing ?? the fondness?? both sofia and matt’s acting is incredible. also a GREAT parallel to the homecoming episode to show just how far their relationship has come.

the rini drama plus kourt being giddy again. portwell standing next to each other?? antoine’s use of the word fugly really shows how unhinged this show is. lily proposing a dance off and everyone being like ??? no that’s fucking weird was hilarious. gina standing up for her sister ashlynn like that was gold.

man you may hate her (i do too) but lily is damn good at stirring the pot. i almost admire her complete understanding of the drama going on in everyone’s lives. she knows exactly what she’s doing when she says particular things.

the scene with antoine and ashlynn was so hilarious. joshua bassett seriously does not get a break from this damn show comparing him to people that are way more famous than him lol. also red hitting himself in the face was adorable and no i won’t take criticisms on that. also antoine is BOLD bold.

EJ cheering while everyone is upset that it was the mob song?? big golden retriever energy. i love him.

i don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but i actually really liked this version of the mob song. they really leaned into the whole stupidity of the dance off idea and i think it actually works out well. plus there’s a ton of talented people on that track which makes it so much better. (also thought east high should have won on vocals alone. no their dancing wasn’t better but they had that really nice blend on their vocals and they all seemed a lot less frantic than north did.) also if they had let sofia just be sofia and dance. east high wouldve won on that alone.

i liked the song with miss jenn and zack. the choreo was beautiful but god i hate zacky roy. and that’s all i’ll say on that. (miss jenn i know that’s derek hough but you got two other very nice gentlemen who want you. don’t go for the low hanging fruit sis)

what was the point of lily telling them they would be disqualified if they used the rose song?? the only thing i can think of is she wants it to be a fair fight. which is noble i guess?? i don’t have time to psychoanalyze lily and no one wants that.

EJ’s face when they all turned to him for the sports metaphor had me sCREAMING and all of them being disappointed and talking over one another was very funny.

nini joining up with the group at the last minute seems to be her thing lately huh? i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again ricky was right about the song.

the couples walking out together. ft. nini and ricky fighting (again). PORTWELL EXCELLENCE (and huge dorks. i love them). red and ashlynn getting a bit rocky which at first i was like why is red jealous but then i remembered its high school. seb, carlos and kourt is an iconic trio. seb and carlos running off to avoid the drama is the gay agenda but also being in on the drama is the gay agenda. you feel??

HOWIE?!! why am i gasping i knew that? the fact that some of y’all really thought they would cast roman banks on this show and let howie go free without any drama?? nah man he had to be the beast for north fOR THE DRAMA. my baby kourt looked so hurt im so sorry beautiful. howie looking so guilty and upset?? heart breaking.

all in all i really loved this episode. i thought it was well done and set up a lot of plot lines. i don’t love how much some of the stuff feels like drama for the sake of drama but we’ll see. i’m sorta over rini this season as of this point. rina is in shambles because wtf ricky. portwell is alive and thriving as they should. seblos is beautiful and wonderful as always (i think the sassy verging on mean and the literal ball of sunshine is always a great pairing) redlynn is a little rocky but they’re both so empathetic and sweet that i think it’ll work out alright. kourt and howie (kowie?? hourtney??) is not doing too hot but i LOVE them together so they better gets their shit together.

[chaptersofnow]

Kiddo of Yona and Plaid Stripes!

Bio under cut

Name: Karakul Wool Nickname(s): Puppy

Age: 20

Pronouns: He/Him, She/Her

Identity: GNC gay man

crush/relationship: 

Parents: Yona and Plaid Stripes

Sibling: Special Talent: Singing

Occupation:  Internet singer

Location: Manehatten

Likes: musicals, music kids movies, coffee shops, gardening Dislikes: hot summers, flies, headache

Bio: Yona and Plaid Stripes met while Yona was working and learning alongside Rarity at her boutique, soon was moved to the manehatten boutique to work alongside long running employee, Plaid Stripes. the two found working together very fun, enjoying each others sense of fashion and defiantly standing out in a crowd when their together. through rarity's help they opened up their own lil shop together, selling their fashion with lines of yakyakistan fashion mixed with a bit of Plaid's lil bits of designer flair. they became engaged on the night of the opening of their shop and where married the next year. they live in their home above their boutique with their little one, Karakul. Karakul has a surrogate parent, looking quite different from their pony mother, and acting even more different than either parent. Karakul is sweet and nice but very quite and shy. he often becomes jumpy around others, and tends to have a lOT of big crushes on any cute boy they see. they love singing and currently like to write songs or do covers of songs from movies he likes online. He likes to imagine one day being a famous singer but with how nervous he is all the time he's happy to hid behind an online persona and mascot. Karakul sorta considers himself friends with Vanity, but only because their mothers have pushed them to hanging out since Vanity up and suddenly moved to Manehatten. Yona and Plaid often tell Karakul to take Vanity out to have coffee or something worried he's going to get lonely in the city. Karakul feels really akward around Vanity and Vanity isnt exactly the nicest pony.    

[loseyoutoloveme]

will you do a song by song review for life support? i really liked the ones for sweetener and thank you next!

oh absolutely, i’d love to! thank you for asking and being interested 🖤 all thoughts below.

the beginning:

this was such a great way to open this album, it’s so cinematic and really sets the mood so perfectly. one of my fav instrumental intros i’ve ever heard.

9/10

good in goodbye: “you put the over in lover, put the ex in next.”

the lyrics are so wonderfully corny and i’ll love this song forever, like the chorus is literally just so fun to sing along to.

i do think it feels a little... shallow compared to the rest of the album, and the album being released so long after this song came out makes it feel disconnected from the rest. but i love it so i don’t care.

7.5/10 

default: “i know, i know this must be coming for me, i swear, i swear i will be the end of me, the end of me.”

this song is just sooo...... OUCH!

i’m obsessed with the way the chorus just SOUNDS like an emotional spiral, like her life falling apart, like falling into a deep depression, and then the outro builds like destructive racing thoughts.

also i never noticed the wave crashing and the bubbles at the very beginning until really recently, and i love that little touch. the whole song feels so underwater. cloudy and fuzzy. it does a good job of depicting certain symptoms of various mental illnesses.

8.5/10

follow the white rabbit: “is it haunting, baby, that i’m wanting, baby, that i’m wanting, wanting you?”

i actually was fully not expecting to like this that much based off the snippets she’d shared, but omg this left me WEAAAAK on first listen, which was the best surprise

there are definitely so many layers to these lyrics too, despite it being just a bombastic sexy toxic love song on its surface, particularly when thinking about the album as a commentary on mental illness, and some of the breakup/love songs as metaphors rather than straightforward love songs. definitely about infatuation and toxicity and perhaps knowingly entering a bad relationship as a bad coping mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with your pain or (as we see in effortlessly) a way to just feel anything at all.

9/10

effortlessly: “i hold my breath to breathe, hurt me so i feel, used to do these things so effortlessly somehow.”

oh god this song is just a punch in the stomach

i ALSO didn’t really expect to love this one based on snippets but the lyrics are just devastating and perfect and i hope speak to anybody who has struggled with self-harm and medication.

i don’t even have thoughts on this song, it just makes me go jsn*@(#nkdasdnkasd7*@U#j2k3n

love that this is such a fan favourite. it deserves!

10/10

stay numb and carry on: “truth is it was never love, your fault if you thought it was.”

the reverse “i’ve become emotionless” at the beginning >>>

also love the “i was gin and you were toxic . . . wish we’d just stayed plaTONIC” like a platonic relationship would be the opposite of toxic. it’s such fun wordplay.

also “i don’t feel like anyone” makes me emo, she really just slid the most simple but heartbreaking lines in everywhere and you don’t notice them until they hit you out of nowhere one day and you’re like ...OH

AND THE WAY HER VOICE STARTS TO GO MONOTONE AT “i’ve become emotionless” 

in conclusion, madison beer is a vessel for god

10/10

blue: “you could be as sweet as honey but i knew the darkness in your mind.”

this is my least favourite on the album but it’s still fantastic

the lana influence is clear without being too copycat, like it’s still SO madison. sorta like lana’s video games modernized and adapted into something truer to madison’s vibe.

love love love the whole outro

glad that this wasn’t a single like it was planned to be

7/10

interlude: “would you do that shit for me too?”

VOCODER RIGHTS

this album in general is just not really for people who don’t like vocoders and lots of technical effects. i looove that she leaned into it so hard bc it’s so HER.

this song also has so much depth for an interlude, relaying the experience of feeling SO hard about people, and realizing like you’re putting in way more than you’re getting back.

the post-chorus is like... 🤩🌌💫☄️🌠

7.5/10

homesick: “these humans speak my language, still don’t understand it.”

THIS SONG...... IS MY BABY......

oh god it just breaks my heart on every listen. the image in my head is of a little girl talking to the stars.

and why does the line about her mom and dad make me wanna cry every time? i have no idea.

I BELONG IN SPACE...... FLOATING WITH DEBRIS.......

i’m sure she’s not the first person to ever use this metaphor for mental illness, expressing the alienation of mental illness (especially one as stigmatized and misunderstood as bpd) by talking about LITERAL aliens sdkjfsdfksd, but she does it SOOOOO well and sincerely that it feels like it’s uniquely hers.

the rick & morty sample is so funny and so weird and so madison. i will probably never watch an episode of that show in my life.

10000000000/10 this song is the loml

selfish: “shouldn’t love you but i couldn’t help it, had a feeling that you never felt it.”

my absolute favourite of all of the singles, noooo question about it. it’s a perfect, perfect, perfect song.

two years, alone on new years’, nightclubs, gemini... women writing lyrics with very specific details about the shitty men that the song is about... it’s everything to me.

this song will just NEVER age. every time i listen to it, it’s like the first time all over again.

10/10

sour times: “don’t know what song of mine you heard that made you think i’d want to spend the night with you.”

home with you’s big sister<3 

not the strongest lyrics, but the concept and production are more than strong enough to carry the song.

she came on this bitch mad as hell

also love that this have been another fan favourite, seemingly??

men gross

9/10

boyshit: “don’t know how to talk or communicate, we’re so on and off, to you it’s a game.”

it took me awhile to get into this when it was a single ngl, probably because it came out the same night as evermore sjdknfsfnkjsd, but once i got into it, it became the best song ever

she’s soooo reliable with her “men ain’t shit” songs ugh

8.5/10

baby: “i’m a handful but that’s what hands are for.”

when this came out as a single it was the only thing i listened to for a solid week and a half. just an excellent song. the chorus is evvverrryttthhhiiinnnnggg.

WHAT IS IT SO CATCHY FOR?

9.5/10

stained glass: “my life’s a still fading memory of what i can’t have, and everything ’round me is starting to fade into black, but black and white is so much better, i’m learning how to hide my colours.”

i’m so surprised by how much non-stans seem to love this omg, it’s never been a fav of mine, as much as i still love it

but i’m obsessed with how different and distinctly madison it is

also this is a much more genuine take on the “pls stop being mean to me just bc i’m famous / you don’t know what people are going through” type of song than most of the others i’ve ever heard. her pain is evident, and the soft “i just might break” is just..... </3

the glass breaking and little scream are so good

she loves a good metaphor and so do i!

7.5/10 

emotional bruises: “how do i word this? was about to write you this letter, but it was just curses in cursive, you probably deserve it.”

this was definitely my most anticipated song along with everything happens for a reason, like i listened to the snippet on repeat CONSTANTLY lmao. and the full song definitely lived up.

the scribbling sound is so fun, i love her obsession with little real-life sound effects

10/10

everything happens for a reason: “i still can’t find a reason you’d wanna hurt me so bad.”

THIS SONG IS VERY MUCH EVERYTHING

again, this was for sure one of my most anticipated songs and just kjsadsdkajsm god i love love love it

i think she posted a video one time of the song over a clip of the mermaids from peter pan and it was so pretty and i still picture that video when i hear this song. it’s just soooooo hazy and dreamy and retro and perfect.

also the song on the album where she got to show off her vocals the most. she found her niche with this song, truly.

100/10

channel surfing/the end: “YOU’REBADFORMYHEALTHISHOULDPROLLYKEPTSOMEHELPICANTCONTROLMYSELFIMADDICTEDOTHEHELL”

oh my god i was FLOOOOOORED at the dear society clip. dear society was and is one of my FAVOURITE songs, and i appreciate her reasoning for not including it on the album (just wanting some space for a new song instead of one we’d already had for so long), but it did hurt a lil. i was so happy she found a little way to include it :’) rip to hurts like hell tho since she didn’t get the same treatment sjdnksd.

the channel surfing is also just such a fun concept for an outro.

and her laughing with her producers at the end followed by such a sweet calming tropical instrumental...... oooo it’s so nice, it feels like the calm after the storm.

10/10

overall, this album was just SO worth the wait, it’s so fantastic, it’s the loml, one of my favourite albums ever. i LOVE that it’s helped anyone with BPD feel seen and understood, and as someone who doesn’t have bpd but has a couple of loved ones who do, the emotions she expressed in these lyrics have helped me to understand this disorder more too. just such a special album.

most of the criticism i’ve seen of the album has been that it’s overproduced, and that’s definitely criticism that i understand, bc it IS heavy on the technical side and some people just don’t like very heavy production, buuuut... some people do! i do! madison does! and heavy production does not automatically make an album bad. this type of production isn’t something that i expect her to move away from, because it’s clearly her thing, and maybe that just means her place in the industry will be more with the heavy heavy pop fans and maybe even in more hyperpop circles. i also think it’s SUPPOSED to be overproduced; it’s supposed to be a mess of emotions and sometimes a little chaotic. she executed it very well.

i hope by the time her next album is out, people will stop comparing her to like every single artist out there. some reviewers seem determined to pigeonhole her and compare her to every female artist under the sun, which feels like an absolute disservice to me. she is influenced by many different people and they comes out in her music, as it does any artist’s because everybody has their inspirations, but her sound is VERY much her own. as someone who has liked her for years, i can absolutely feel her essence in each song and nobody else’s.

a 10/10 album and such an amazing, promising debut<3  

[audspods]

my girl

hi so this is my first time doing this but i want to try talking abt movies. idk here’s a lil introduction to this. ok so ig i’ve always been a movie person, like i like them but i’ve never rly got into the nitty gritty w them. but sometimes i do find myself looking up analysis’ of the movies once i finish them. but that only started recently. ok so here’s the deal w this post. there’s 3-4 parts. first part is the introduction (this is the introduction), then we have the when i watched it (i know this seems rly silly but i think it’s important on the atmosphere and shit when watching a movie), then the what i rly think abt it section, and finally a section called audrey trying to be johnny 2 cellos. this one will b abt 4 because this intro is kinda explaining how i’m going to be doing this sort of thing so let’s get started ig? IDK HOW TO START THIS I’M LITERALLY 14 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO’S BORED. oh i’m gonna rate the movie on a scale from 1-10, 1 being wtf this is not cute and 10 being cute cute cute. 5 is like oh cute? its confusing i feel like i need to draw some sort of diagram :/

intro:

ok so my girl is abt this girl (wow nice one audrey!) who lives with her dad in a mortuary. this girls name is vada and her mother died giving birth to her. i lowkey forgot some stuff from this movie but that’s fine ig bc it’s been abt a year since i’ve seen it. basically vada is this tomboy and she doesn’t get along w everyone until she meets this boy. btw they r in elementary school. so she’s freinds w this boy named thomas and he wears glasses. the actor is the kid who was in home alone. anyways shit happens some girl comes in and becomes like her step mom ig. but lets get into what actually happened. so one day vada and thomas r playing in the woods and vada is wearing this ring but she loses it. she realizes she lost it after they were done playing in the woods but after thomas went back to get it. as he was looking for the ring he bumped into a bees nest and a shit load of bees stung him AND MANS WAS ALLERGIC TO BEES. so his glasses fell underneath the leaves and he died. so sad omg. and so they held a funeral for him and vada was obviously sad abt this but when she went to look in the casket she saw he wasn’t wearing his glasses. this is where the famous line “he can’t see without his glasses” comes from. this scene hurt so much my lawd. eventually time goes on and she never forgets him but that’s basically my girl. 

how audrey watched this movie:

okay so i think it was summer. I can’t remember i just remember this day being very grey and bright. so it must’ve been summer. anyways i had a shit load of laundry to do so i thought i would put on a movie. as i’m scrolling through netflix i see my girl and it’s one of those movies that u always hear abt so i thought i would watch it. i thought it was going to be some cute cheesey rom-com abt childhood friends but oh boy was i wrong. the movie was on in the background as i was folding my clothes but i do remember knowing what was going on the whole time. i remember wearing this headband that made my forehead huge but i didn’t realize that until i looked in the mirror to see my crying face lols. when the scene of thomas in the casket came up i was sobbing. i mean i was not expecting that at all and i was not ready . i rly thought it was gonna b a cute kids movie. i was so shocked that during and after that scene i could not move. i sat over all my clothes and just cried all over them. literally so embarrassing but it was so sad. LIKE Y WOULD U MAKE A CHILD DIE HELLO? i mean shit happens but whatever. this movie will alwyas be memorable to me bc i literally was not expecting to cry and i literally sobbed like a baby. i’m so glad no one was home to see me cry like that oh my goodness. 

audrey tries to b johnny2cellos:

if u don’t who johnny2cellos is pls check out his yt channel. i think he does a great good in going deep into movies and tv shows. well idk if i should say movies i’ve only watched bojack related vids from him. but from what i’ve seen and heard i think he does a rly good job. anyways let me jump into my lame ass analysis. this isn’t going to be good bc i havent seen this movie in a long time. but i think the movie did a rly good job capturing losing a loved one from such a young age. the innocence and immaturity of vada shown throughout the movie and during thomas’ funeral. i’m not good at this lmao. but i havent seen this movie in a long time so im not surprised that this is bad lols. anyways that’s it bc i have no idea what to say and i want to talk abt a different movie bc i lowkey forgot everything about this movie. 

final thoughts:

this movie is meh. it gets a 6.5/10 from me, so it’s like a ok cute? idk if that makes sense lols. anyways it’s a good tear jerker but honestly it seemed a bit rushed, but at the same time i sorta like that bc that’s what going through childhood is like. everything goes by super fast and soon enough, something happens that makes you stop and realize the shit that’s going on around you. that’s it for now i’m gonna do my life as zucchini next. PEACE OUT!!

[jiminrings]

uu abt homebound au, what goes on with racer! hobi and jk?? i guess this is kinda a request? thanks ilysm :")

homebound: koo’s pov

a lil homebound special that’s in jungkook’s pov and u get to see what’s going on in his noggin :D

glimpse: kook’s a protective best friend, hobi is a hyung that he never knew he needed, aND he just needs y/n as his forever emotional support shoulder :D

wordcount: 3k

notes: aHHHHH first of all i love you too!!!! write that down pls

this is a spin-off because earlier, i made a drabble from a request about jimin and y/n’s tough love relationship as crew chief x crew member!!! i loved making that piece they r so dynamic :D

read homebound the fic!!!

it’s not easy being jungkook

ugh yeah he kNOWS he’s handsome and talented and charismatic but gOd this is getting out of hand now

he has to save your ass

AGAIN

well not literally your ass,.,. it’s your thumb this time

he’s met you like what?? two months ago and you’re already a handful!!! LOOK AT YOU

“g-googie pLEASE just h-help me i can’t do it mYSELF!!!”

if only two months ago, jungkook was pulled from basketball practice and shoved into the empty-looking gymnasium AND sat in the front instead of the back right next to you

if only he hasn’t opened his mouth and told that he liked your softball uniform aND coincidentially found a fellow athlete that lit rally only joined sports for the uniforms.,.,..

if only he didn’t reciprocate by saying that he joined basketball for the fluffy warmers.,.,..

HE WOULDN’T BE HERE RIGHT NOW

he wouldn’t deal with you calling him urgently and sAying it’s of a great emergency and that he had to sprint from the other side of campus grounds to where you were

you wouldn’t be right here sat on the ground, hand outstretched for him to mend as he’s only giving you a sCOWL of disbelief

ok fine

jungkook doesn’t regret you being his best friend but he dOES regret having a weak spot for you

“didn’t i specifically tell you NOT to play softball and take it easy for awhile???”

“b-but-...”

“and now someone was being a big dummy and then dISLOCATED her thumb and she’s made ME run all the way to the field because she’s tOO scared to pop back her dislocated thumb and wants ME to do it for her!!!!!”

you are Insufferable

u really are

he can’t help but feel agitated ok

he’s just so stressed and he almost got a near-flunking store at the calc test awhile ago and he studied!!! he studied for THREE hours and he was about three wrong answers away from being failed!!!!

meanwhile you sleep at that class and you bARely even studied because last night you were just calling him up to ask if you were down drinking some shots with you and then yOU pass????

also also!! his basketball coach has been extra tough on him lately and he isn’t even doing anything wrong!! he passes the ball and how come it’s HIS fault that the one he’s passed it to doesn’t make a score???

how is it hIS fault that this guy was an utter dUMBASS

on top of that, the pit crew training is taking a massive toll on his body and this particular time,, it’s jungkook’s only few breaks

and you just hAD to dislocate your thumb and be scared shitless of popping it back

hold on

are you uh.,...

are you crying

jungkook’s flustered a tON because uhHHh he’s not exactly the best person when it comes to these things

there was one time when jungkook added so much wasabi underneath your california maki to the point that you were CRYING

and sue him he didn’t know what to do

everyone in the restaurant thought the two of you were a couple and now there’s a LOT of angry stares aimed towards jungkook and that makes him sweat a little

that one buff guy who’s chopping the squid even sTopped what he was doing and that makes kook audibly gulp

jungkook was a tiny bit intimidated and so he did the next big thing

panickedly threw the packet of tissues to your face :D

lmao he’s gotten a lot better since then

“okay, okay, i’m sorry for yelling at you :((“

god he should know better

i mean you are in physical pain already and you don’t need him yelling at you now, do you??

after all jungkook did have this one big splinter on his thumb when he was doing something stupid aND although you were angry and amused, you didn’t yell at him

ok fair

he’s setting his things down and he had to coax you to give him back your hand because u retracted it when he yelled

“on the count of three, okay?? one, two....”

you’re already wincing and jungkook has to be swift with this when he doesn’t want to prolong your pain

aLTHOUGH this reminds him of how you have to distract him from the pain when he has you pluck out some of his eyebrow hair so they don’t form a unibrow

“two.... you’re still not — two.,..., you’re the one who’s supposed to adjust not me...,.,. t- yO IS THAT MIN YOONGI???”

“wHAT WHERE-“

pOp!!!!!

that shit hUrts

min yoongi is an especially good trigger point for you because jungkook, cannot, and especially cannot stress to how you have a crush on that guy sO bad

he’s a racer ok sure

ehhhh his skills are so-so

honestly he doesn’t even know if this yoongi guy is actually great at racing,,, maybe it’s just his family name that gets him where he’s at ya know....

“don’t joke with me like that! i’m telling you, jungkook — one day i’ll work with min yoongi.”

he snorts at that as he’s holding your hand up, checking to see if there’s any bruising or the sort

he wants to make sure nOw that you’re okay and not have anything else pop up later because he doesn’t want you ruining his alone time again

“yeah. mhmmm. sure you will.”

uGh where would you be now without jungkook

what was LIFE before jungkook

you’re that grateful for him

jungkook’s been avoiding you a liTTLE and you’ve been noticing it but you just didn’t prod into it

the dish was that he thinks he likes you

it’s just this roulette going on in his head

do i like y/n OR have i just been so starved from affection and companionship that i immediately the nearest person to me as someone i love?????

aha it’s the second option :D

you and jungkook fight a lot tho that’s no surprise

it could be over on the most stupid things ever for discourse and well as sensitive as you were, jungkook was even mORE sensitive

one time he cried when not only you gave him the silent treatment, but also literally pretended that he was iNVISIBLE and even got some people in on it

yeth it was a petty fight over stubornness and a sorta petty solution bUt it did give you some peace

what made it even worse was because you befriended these new guys!!!

the kim line!!! jin and namjoon and taehyung were quite the eye-catching trio over on their department and you kNow that jungkook was annoyed by them

actually they were very likeable and jungkook’s just annoyed at them for no apparent reason

and when you ignore jungkook for the whole day AND have the kim line over on your lunch table,,,

when kook offers you a tray of the best batches for your cafeteria food and even a fresh cold carton of chocolate milk,,,,

then pretend you didn’t even hEAR him nor SEE him when he was holding up the tray for you,,,

he absolutely cries because w-why are you :(((( i-i-ignoring me :(((( please d-don’t :((((

fighting and crying has been at an all-time low ever since that particular one

he was so frustrated that he didn’t even notice jin patting his back and he bARELY even knows jungkook

namjoon’s acting as a shield so no one could see that this guy was absolutely Losing it

taehyung’s trying his best to shove some tissues underneath jungkook so he could wipe them down

but this time

tHIS time

it’s jungkook who doesn’t know what to do

it’s you who’s crying so painfully that he’s sure not even the kim line could help try and fix

“he’s just sO — yoongi is uNBEARABLE!!”

oh it’s him again huh

jungkook wasn’t sure at first on how he’d process the news that yeah sure the two of you were the ones chosen to be the victors of the program

but it meant that the two of you were gonna work for different teams and now that just doesn’t make any sense.,...

sure he’s happy because he gets to work for jung hoseok!!!! the racer he’s in awe with and thank god because he didn’t want to work with-

ew he’s shuddering

min yoongi

yOU’RE the one who’s working for him and well!! you should be happy!!! why are you CRYING

jungkook was so nervous meeting hoseok for the first time

he wanted to please everyone so bad it wasn’t even funny :’)

he’s bought four boxes of donuts for his fellow pit crew members alone

hoseok was special special

he gets his OWN dozen and on top of that, kook even made him a crepe cake

from s c r a t c h

that was the most time-consuming jungkook’s ever spent in making food and he is pOsitive that he doesn’t ever want to subject himself to that again in his life

( with the exception for jung hoseok of course hehe )

jungkook’s kinda burnt himself on the pan atleast three times and he was a sweaty mess by the end of cooking it because again

wHO has the time to make crepe cakes????

deadass even bought a lil cooler with him just because he wants to impress his boss even more :)))

:))) tiny lil ice cream cups :)))

“hi!! nice to meet you, i’m hoseok!! why are you holding tHAT big of a bag??”

jungkook was starstruck for sure because wow jung hoseok was kIND???

normally being famous and being kind don’t exactly belong in the same sentence

but uHHhh his idol is right here in front of him being polite and cool and not coming off as snobbish??? wow

“for you, sir — uH sir jung?? uHm-...”

“oH! no, no-...”

“ho — sir???”

hoseok was just meant to tell him that it’s cool to drop the sir thing because he’s working with him not for him

poor kook was so nervous that he called his idol a hoe :(((

“aH, calm down!! it’s okay!! lol you seem cool anyway!!! you can just call me hobi-...”

that sounds SO precious omg

jungkook was about to bow again for the nth time but then hobi over here added something to his sentence

“... -hyung”

bROTHER??

now listen

hobi doesn’t have a brother in his family and gOd something about this younger guy in front of him,,,

he’s read jungkook’s forms and he’s younger than him and he’s iNTIMIDATINGLY large but he just looks so innocent y’know

it reminds him of nemo in a big vast ocean but maybe that’s just because he watched finding nemo last night and was emotional

but look!!! jungkook!!!! he wants to protecc this guy from the world and he looks so eager too!!!!

if you squint hard enough u could see jungkook’s fists in his sides clenching from being so happy

anyway

“hey, hey. c’mon, don’t cry now you’re gonna get uGly!!!!”

okay that did not help

jungkook’s rubbing circles on your back as you try to recollect what happened awhile ago at work and how yoongi was an absolute asshole

he’s tough on you and you don’t know why!!!

on top of that, your crew chief jimin is aLSO tough on you and you don’t know why either and it’s just!!!! why does everyone hate me!!!!! when i am just!!!!! bREATHING!!!!!

“want me to put in a good word for you for hobi-hyung? he could pull some strings then work for him instead... with me..... the people are a LOT nicer too...”

hobi knows about jungkook’s friendshio with you and he wasn’t really bothered to how his pit crew member is best friends with a pit crew member for his main rival :D not really :D

in fact he was even endeared!!! asked a lot of questions too because jungkook hOW do you contain yourself?? you’re so competitive and you’re not even the oNE who’s racing between us two???

“oh that’s easy hyung!!! y/n and i just kinda trashtalk each other for every game, then on free days we’re all cool!! :D”

“is that.... is that healthy..,.,.”

hobi wants to take you under his wing if that was possible

your contract and perhaps min yoongi are the only variables stopping you

he’s never said this to anyone but he dID make a semi-empty joke to yoongi once that y/n will also be working for him next season before he could even blink

and yoongi normally looks stoic but hobi swears that he must’ve flipped a switch aha :D

he looked sO infuriated and angry at the mention of your name and “working for me” that he actually thought yoongi would lunge at him

“it’s okay i guess :(( don’t wanna give up just yet :((“

“mHmmm okay whatever you say, sport :))”

jungkook praises you a lot for your dedication because if that was him?? he would’ve bitch-slapped yoongi in a second and quit right then and there!!

he cares for you!!! a lot!!! no one could ever take up your spot as his emotional support shoulder

he’s perfectly content with his job that he’s in!!!

hobi teaches him about things he’s never known before

practical life lessons too!!!

jungkook’s now equipped with the knowledge of how to make bread taste like french toast wITHOUT even making it like french toast

he now knows how to drift!!! like aCTUALLY drift!!! :D

hobi even taught him some tips about making the best use out of your car’s gas and how to nOT cower when it’s blinking that you’re about to run out

aHA jungkook’s still a little bit panicked whenever he sees the light blinking but then he’d remember hobi in his mind looking at him dead-straight

“you’re one of the buffest guys i’ve ever known, and you’re rattled at a tiny light blinking at you?”

you could still go for 50 km tOps with a blinking gas notice on!!! you’re nOT gonna believe jung hoseok the racer??

sigh

jungkook may be content with his job rn

but of course he’s still looking out for you :D

you’re much happier and giggly these days,,, yoongi and his character development being the causes for it

but every now and then aha :D

jungkook likes to relish over the fact that yeah yoongi may be over him in terms of seniority :) but that’s hIS best friend that he’s dating :)

he may just want to spook the guy sometimes

yoongi’s minding his business as he brings over lunch to kim kradle again, chopping up your cheesy tonkatsu for u when he makes the mistake of lifting his eyes

jungkook’s casually munching on his own meal that yoongi’s aLSO bought for him :D giving the older guy a thumbs-up and it makes yoongi smile

right before when jungkook’s eyes flicker from him and to you and his thumb is nOW resting daintily on his neck as he wiggles his eyebrows

g-gulp

yoongi will take care of you for sURE

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also i’ve been mulling over the “we’re Living ex machina!!!!” line and like, it still doesn’t make sense Really, but here’s my Afternoon Musings i guess

i’ve only actually seen ex machina once like 3 years ago but as i remember it goes a little something like This: some rando white-collar programmer guy has like, won a contest where the prize is to go hang out for maybe a few days or a week or so with this ~visionary genius~ tech dude played by oscar isaac at oscar isaac tech dude’s off-the-grid reclusive mansion or whatever.......i thiiiink the Protag Programmer won b/c his programming submission was Really Good but also maybe there’s a [randomly selected] element to it, or maybe we Think it was partly random selection but then learn it was actually All “yeah i chose you b/c your coding was the Best,” idk. doesn’t really matter but anyway yeah protag guy gets helicoptered in to the oscar isaac genius bro’s secret mansion 

oscar isaac soon reveals he has this advanced ai android whomst he wants the Protagonist to study / turing test, and the protagonist does that, but during one Conversation Session with this android (who is named ava i think? and designed to Look Like a Woman oo) like the lights turn off and ava-i-think informs the protagonist she’s found a Weakness in the mansion’s security system and hackt it so that the power (and thus the Security / Monitoring Systems) shut down for a minute like this but could feasibly be thought of as a glitch and anyways she’s like yeah i have feelings and thoughts and i want to Not Be Trapped here, ya gotta help me out here buddy, and then yknow ooh the systems come back on, oscar isaac can Observe them again, intrigue.....tl;dr protag and ava keep having these short secret convos and Do plan to break her out, there’s this dramatic moment where oscar isaac (who’s natch been acting weirder and more erratic as the plot unfolds) confronts the protag after the protag has just like, tried to get him blackout smashed by Hanging Out With Him lmfao and oscar isaac is like “ooh i knew you were planning to break her out, i’m gonna stop you guys though haha pwned” but then oh further twist, turns out ava and protag Knew that was the case and were thinking one step ahead and idk but yeah they break her out and oscar isaac dies but ooh further twist!!! ava locks the protag (or well, just Does Not Unlock, As Planned) in some room and leaves the mansion and gets on the Helicopter meant to take the protag back to wherever after the planned end of his stay. and the protag is just stuck there b/c everyone else is dead and presumably he dies as ava gets to exist in the outside world now, idk, we don’t need ex machina 2 where he’s escaped or smthing lmao

and i do NOT get what winston is comparing their situation to lmfao. like, oh rian is like an advanced ai android??? if anything, her being the more like ~true believer in High Finance as a means of socially beneficial effect~ vs winston like, having the supposedly cutthroat and cold Math approach would make Him more of the ~oh no more a robot than a person~ (though i think it’s Ambiguous whether we wanna judge ava as more Scary Bad or Sympathetic).........you can’t even really make the connection that “oh no we’re being deliberately Replaced!!” b/c if winston is [protag programmer rando] and rian is [ava] and wendy is, i guess oscar isaac then, uhhhh oscar isaac most definitely did Not intend to ~replace~ the protag with ava, he very much wanted her trapped in his mansion still........and the protagonist Only got “replaced” by ava in the sense that she took his place on the helicopter out of the reclusive secret mansion. i really doubt she planned to, or would even be able to, like take over his identity/life beyond that.....certainly not his job lol like, coworkers are gonna notice you’re a different person, there was no implication the androids can like oh shapeshift their appearance or whatever, and no implications about what ava even intended to do in the Outside World which is kind of bemusing b/c like, what of the Practical Questions of being an android and needing whatever Fuel Source a robot does, idk that might’ve been addressed or smthing like “oh yeah they can just Eat,” also she clearly does not Trust People considering her only company was evil oscar isaac creator and she wasn’t interested in bringing the protag along, plus yknow the fact that she Did deliberately manipulate the protag into thinking that she wanted to escape into the world With him........but not like i guess she has any choice for any other world to escape into but the one with all the people where she pretends to be an organic human

like there is just NO point of comparison where these situations line up unless you get soooooooo like broad strokes about ex machina that you’d do better to compare your experience to Anything else lmao. like, does winston think she’s some like, ideal advanced version of him?? like you might consider a crafted AI android to be?? i don’t know but i mean i think we have a more feasible explanation for why he’s so Insistent about this totally being Ex Machina, if only b/c as a straightforward comparison i swear to god it doesn’t work lmfao None of these points line up at all with any significance that’s worth insisting on

given that winston’s Apparently Canonically meant to be crushing on rian, and we have his example of ribbing her by calling her “gal gadot’s quirky sister” which is like, okay so the dunk is “you look similar to this famous a-lister who everyone thinks is pretty” and “also you’re quirky, boom” like, i think that could easily be meant as like, a Tell that winston already ~likes~ her.............aaaand it’s also somewhat ~ambiguous~ but i mean i think it’s safe to say that in Ex Machina you may understand the protag as having Fallen For the ai android lady. so maybe we can Understand this invocation of ex machina as being like “ooh person meant to replace me is Attractive but ultimately i think this Overall Situation is a bad thing i shouldn’t feel this way i resent it” like, a bit of a Reach, but honestly it’s way more of a reach to think about applying anything else about this scenario to ex machina, so i could v much believe that the thought that went behind writing this is once again, like, “okay winston’s invoking one thing on the surface level here, but simultaneously he’s already (inadvertently probably) acknowledging like oh also i have a crush on her already”

between this episode seeming to be Setup and the [winston has a Canon crush] and the fact that it probably seems like They Will Fuck A Nonzero Number Of Times or Make Out At Least But It’s Billions So, Might Get A Humorous Cut To [Postcoital] Or A Scene Where They Arrive At Work Together Short Of Breath With Messy Hair  And Hickies And Winston’s Got A Hoodie W/ “Property Of Rian” On It Until He Goes "Oh Shit Woops” And Hands It To Her And She’s Like “Oh Btw You Forgot Your Glasses.....Uh You Left Them Here On Your Desk Yesterday I Mean Of Course” And Hands Them To Him And An Unnamed Character Stands Up And Asks “Daily Poll: Who Had Sex With A Coworker Last Night” And Rian And Winston Raise Their Hands Before Going “Oh Wait” And Lowering Them With A Shake Of The Head And A Nervous Cough and i’m exaggerating but you know, the equivalent of the billions writing saying “wwinnnk” at us. i am fine with them having an unsolemn like, quasi-rivals-to-lovers (or -And-lovers) dynamic, even with it being a bit messy in like, still an overall Fun way, where yknow it doesn’t have to be peak epic romance cuz a) that’s just Always true and yet it can still be overall an okay thing even if they don’t quite get it together / mostly just trade sparks and sometimes hook up and b) idk seems like mayybe rian’s character isn’t meant to go beyond this season, so, an inherent limit there if true

i’m like Apologetic for being like “already i like their dynamic even as Romantique and it’s kinda cute and fun and i’m willing to continue to be engaged w/ this as long as the writing doesn’t completely fuck it up” lmao like, i guess i Did inadvertently give myself time to prepare for this exact eventuality b/c of wondering if this exact character would have A Thing w/ winston whenever she showed up and even if i was like “haha the character could show up Anywhere and do Anything and what are the odds, right” i was also like “hmm but i’m going to really think about it though” like, as always, didn’t think i was cassandraing that hard, but truly did do it 4x03 style where everyone else can be like “you never [made the text post or gave any indication you were thinking about “what if whoever she plays and winston have some kind of romance thing going on”]” and i can go “i only thought it but didn’t say it....doesn’t count” but well. i did think it lmao and why would i make it up.......sorry i had such a head start on Getting More Used To This Notion.......some crimes can never be forgiven.meme.......

anyways natch “intense horrible passionate” seems a little foreboding but maybe she was talking about it relative to [any Normal show] rather than the standards we’re used to on billions, where this was all but a Meet Cute, and a kind of quasi coworker rivalry where nobody’s taking it *that* deeply seriously and they also seem to mutually like each other by the end of 5x05 already so how not-amicable can it get. and re: Intense like, maybe the writing in future episodes will totally upend this, but i’d say rian and winston in 5x05, even when “clashing,” was like damn near laidback and chill. neither of them seem at all that pressed, but maybe even a sorta-playful Friendly Rivalry is more “intense” than, say, a dynamic that involves no rivalry at all. imo “Passionate” is just like, okay, so they’ll fuck or at least make out? sure. not sure what to make of “horrible” lmfao maybe again it’s addressing like “this is a lil messy and they’re kinda rivals!!!” like, certainly not an ideal start, except by billions standards it IS weirdly great. rian seeming good-naturedly amused by winston is something we didn’t get from his longtime-coworkers until like, now, sort of, and still not to the degree that anyone has smiled at him as many times as rian did in like that course of [1 min long First Scene Together] wherein also winston always gets off to a way worse start with people lmao............like everything about this seems Way Better And More Dialed Back And Grounded than usual, actually. but it’s that like, point of reference of “what’s Usual for winston and, more broadly, Billions” that maybe explains this weirdly strong language when all in 5x05 seemed chill actually

anyways like i said Sorry For Already Liking Rian/Winston This Much with my head start and all where like, i’m even tentatively looking forward to seeing where this goes, by “tentative” i also mean going [”i’ll kill you” the office.jpg] at billions where i am fully aware that maybe where this goes *is* a mess and not in like, just kind of a fun, non-melodramatic, not-treated-like-a-total-joke-but-also-not-that-big-a-deal way, where 5x05 could seem like Those Halcyon Days b/c everything from here out just devolves into an unappealing disaster.......but this is an unexpectedly solid start imo and like. even if this doesn’t become like this epic romance where they officially date and if rian does eventually depart the show by the end of the season, it can still just be Enjoyable and Fun for the characters and, god forbid, the viewers, where like, you don’t have to demand we be desperately invested with our entire life in this deadly serious heartwrenching epic romance, they can just kind of mess around and enjoy having a mutual attraction w/ this mathy rivalry and etc and it’s neither a tragedy of “the greatest love story of all time torn asunder” Or, truly god forbid,” this is a Whole Mess In A Bad Way b/c winston’s involved and ugh who could Really like him, being at all romantically entangled is an embarrassing mistake surely, ew cringe we hate him............like, cautiously optimistic in how like i always say that a Romantic Arc is just an easy/efficient way to develop both characters and it could certainly humanize winston an ounce in a show that treats him more like a walking algorithmic plot device and the thoughts of any viewers but us are limited to “winston annoying” basically........the show doesn’t seem to treat rian as a joke, so it seems possible that their mutual Romance in whatever way it unfolds could also be Not A Joke, which means winston’s part in it isn’t a joke, so that’s Some aspect of him for people to take seriously, for once..........like, the way his apparently-already-official crush played out in 5x05 *was* funny but it also didn’t seem like oh it’s a joke b/c his feelings are a total joke......it might seem that way if this *was* totally unrequited and going nowhere, but i somewhat get the sense that the interest is mutual even by the end of the ep, that didn’t strike me as a “shove off, it could Never Happen” shutdown from rian there, just like, hold off on that for rn maybe cue to rein it in a little, not just yet........anyways lmao i’m like “oh yeah i started this post about the baffling ex machina thing” but yeah the point is i think so far it’s pretty solid and i like it and am cautiously but [relative-to-billions level of Hopeful] about whatever developments we’re surely gonna get b/c it def sounds like this has Not ended with 5x05, but seriously @ billions i swear to god. yes so far the approach to winston’s crush here and even their unfolding mutual dynamique and dare i say, romantic interest, is being handled with an encouraging level of “this is Humorous but the characters / their feelings are not what’s being treated as A Total Joke or anything,” but who knows what will come next, this is billions and you can’t predict anything. fingers crossed about it all, though

[myheartissetinmotion]

all my thoughts watching 1992 Newsies for the first time in 4 years

Buckle your seatbelts this is a lot longer than I intended

- this music still means so much to me

- YAAAAAS SLAY PATRICK’S MOM why wasn’t this in the stage musical

- Elmer is so frikkin adorable

- look at them goooooooo

- ugh I love these bois

- C R U T C H Y

- I just can’t get over the feather in Oscar’s hat

- ENTER THE JACOBSES WOOOOOOOOOOOO

- loving these instrumentals and harmonies

- LES WITH A TINY SWORD okay I love him

- I feel like I’ve seen Wiesel in something before

- “not like last time” “uh-huh” RACE WHAT AN ICON HAHAHA

- “must be from brooklyn” SPOKE TOO SOON ABOUT RACE BEING AN ABSOLUTE ICON

- Davey I love you

- LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

- that look in Crutchy’s eyes when he says “ya learn from the best” is Priceless

- okay one glimpse of someone who may or may not look sorta like Katherine

- Where. Is. Hannah.

- “now, when I created the World-” *eye roll* haha love this guy

- *dramatic disney villain music*

- sTILL NO SIGN OF HANNAH

- 57 rounds of boxing oof

- is that Snyder? that’s probably Snyder

- yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyep

- JACK WHAT DID YOU DO oh wait nope false alarm he’s fine

- “WAIT TILL I GET YOU BACK TO THE REFUUUUUUGE” good to know Snyder hasn’t lost his flair for drama

- “well you have a way of improving the truth” okay I see what all you Javid people mean now

- THAT’S MEDDA?!?!?!?!

- Larkson? wonder why they changed it

- Les I love you

- “oh, you’re good” okay she’s okay

- MEDDA SWEETIE I KNOW IT’S THE ORIGINAL BUT WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!

- WHAT EVEN IS THIS SONG I’m very uncomfortable

- OH HIS PARENTS ARE OUT WEST IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW that’s really cool wonder why they cut that

- ooh we actually get to meet the whole Jacobs family!!!!!

- SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- those Knowing Looks TM between the Jacobs parents

- Les...sweetie...

- why is my head blaring “tonight” from west side story...the scenes looks so similar

- oh wow Santa Fe comes a lot earlier and THE FAMILY ASPECT UGH so good

- “ain’t you glad nobody’s waitin up for you” Jack sweetie aaaaaaaa!!!

- so this guy is totally cool with the fact that a random boy is singing on his wagon

- oh okay there’s a hat now?

- y e e t

- I’m not sure if we know enough about Jack to feel enough sympathy for him at this point, but it’s a short movie so

- so THIS is the dance break y’all have been talking about

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

- P R I C E L E S S

- he just. steals a horse

- and it all comes back to the family aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

- the instrumentals, lovely as usual

- that was a Ride

- still no Hannah.

- “dghdghdghdghdghdghdghdghdghdhgdgh” -the distinguished Joseph Pulitzer

- so they’re just giving Hannah’s lines to this guy. I like this guy but still bitter about The Severe Lack Of Hannah

- We Are All Love Mush

- “s w e l l” in case you didn’t know, I. LOVE. CRUTCHY.

- Les being the first one to agree with the strike and holding up his lil wooden sword- AAAAAAAAAAAAA

- oh boy here we go

- from what I’m seeing Boots is important WHERE IS HE BROADWAY I WANT ANSWERS

- this singing. wow. okay. cool.

- Davey just walking around them like “okay is this what we’re doing? musical numbers every day? right here in the street?”

- yas get those turns

- is this Denton? I feel like this might be Denton

- Jack honey that’s not how you pronounce it (I. Love. This. Movie.)

- okay Javids I can see where you’re coming from this is Really Something

- CALLED IT THAT’S DENTON

- “he has to!” *thrown out of door* That’s movies for ya

- okay lET LES HAVE THE LINE

- “so...is the newsie strike important? it all depends on you.” I like him. Give him a Watch What Happens come on disney I want a Denton song

- wow nice zoom-out this is so 90s I love it

- SPOT CONLON THERE HE IS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- @ disney on broadway: Where. Is. Boots.

- that slingshot tho

- WHY DID THEY CUT THIS SCEEEEEEEEEEEEENE

- Davey you’re doing amazing sweetie

- okay he’s wearing The Hat again

- OPE IT’S THE SEIZE THE DAY INTRO HERE WE GOOOOOOOO

- Davey getting into the Dramatics TM

- jumpy bois

- HE DID THE LEG THING

- okay we’ve still got a few backflips and jump splits

- RACE HAS A HARMONICA?!?!?!?! love that for him

- Denton just kind of taking notes about their revolutionary dance number

- ooh here come the scabs I’m so ready for the monologue-wait where’s the monologue

- WHERE’S THE MONOLOGUE

- ok so it just breaks into a fight? what happened to “we’re all in this together”?

- yas tip that wagon just like in actual history! rip those papers! woooooo!

- oh no here come the bulls

- I’M NOT READY

- CRUTCHY NO

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING THE HAT

- HOW ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY STABLE THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

- ominous musiiiiiiiiiic

- wow this is...quite a plan

- OMG WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE THE REFUGE

- “Heya Dave, how ya doin?” I LOVE HIM.

- look at his faaaaaaaaaaaaaace

- he doesn’t want anyone carrying him? tell that to livesies Albert

- CRUTCHY SAVING THE DAY AGAIN

- well yeah of course they’re not going to “just go away”

- “done with once and for all” heh heh

- THOSE H A R M O N I E S I love a capella

- yas you go drum kid

- oh boy it’s dance break time

- *t w i r l*

- I love them

- oh boy it’s the scabs

- Davey...honey...you tried

- uh oh someone has chains this can’t be good

- OSCAR STILL HAS THE FEATHER

- IS THAT BROOKLYN

- LOOK AT THEM POPPING UP

- HAHAHAHAHA ICONIC SO ICONIC

- slingshots!!!!!!

- Spot you’re doing amazing sweetie

- y e e t

- Those fake punch sounds tho

- YES JACK TEAR THAT NEWSPAPER YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

- I love the picture this is so ugh I just love it

- oooooh I can feel it coming, KONY is coming

- “you’re famous you get anything you want! that’s what’s so great about NY!” HAHA RACE I’ve said it before I’ll say it again WHAT AN ICON

- so Jack is here for KONY, this is new (well for me at least)

- DENTON APPRECIATION LET’S GO

- “and payin’ for lunch” R A C E

- the “dead or dreamin’” bit is still just so awesome

- TAP DANCING WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- this is just so filled with joy I’m in love with this movie

- CEILING FAN TWIRL=ICONIC

- this guy just “okay kids lovely musical number please leave”

- CRUTCHY SWEETIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

- “how was your supper” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- “hey, that’s Jack” Crutchy...sweetie...no....wait no wAIT NO WAIT NO

- SWEETHEART NO THAT VOICE CRACK ON “goodbye” I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS UGH

- Race steppin up to save the day

- what. an. icon.

- THE REACTION TO “is he dangerous” UGH I LOVE HIM

- ooh nice fire escape shot

- SARAH HAS RETURNED

- WE STAN A QUEEN

- okay romantic subplot time I can see where this is going

- the way he leans against the window awwww

- wow these are...very typical gender roles

- she’s so pretty I can’t

- “there’s nothing for me to stay for is there” She. Is. Standing. Right. There. Whatareyoudoing

- “I’m not sayin it should matter to you" are you though “I’m just sayin...does it? matter?” okay AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW 

- this pulitzer isn’t half as dramatic, he’s not quite showing the Actual Scary Capitalist, he’s more Typical Disney Villain

- MEDDA WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

- oh there’s the don’t come a knockin melody

- they’re all dressed the same like a little gang of evil capitalists

- Davey looks so done I love him

- “what are we supposed to do, kiss em?” RACE IS SUCH AN ICON UGH

- wow they really shuffled the plot around

- hERE’S the monologue!

- Medda what’s happening

- WHAT IS HAPPENING

- I love their fan freak-outs in the audience

- is Sarah the only person that doesn’t know the song

- wHERE DID THE SWING COME FROM

- so extra

- Denton are you planning something

- YES HE IS

- “as in SNIDE? smile, sir” Denton is the greatest

- RACE NO

- Medda come on you’re a dancer you’ve got to be stronger than that

- uh oh

- just y e e t up to the box seats

- STOP HURTING THEM

- that was the fakest of fake punches I’ve ever seen

- Dramatic Slo-Mo TM

-I’LL NEVER LET GO JACK

- “the grounds of Brooklyn” SPOT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU

- HEY JUDGE YOU NEED TO STOP THEY WERE PEACEFULLY ASSEMBLING SO UH SHUT UP

- Denton to the rescue once again

- I actually don’t know how this is going to go

- wait his parents aren’t actually in Santa Fe????

- davey’s face aaaa

- this is heartbreaking

- “a useful and productive life” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- SNYDER YOU JERK

- LEMME AT HIM

- Denton why are you smiling what are you doing

- you don’t tell a huge group of kids that their story isn’t important you just don’t

- come on Denton we trusted you I mean I get it but still

- poor Davey

- omg he crumpled it up right in front of Denton? ooooof

- LES HONEY

- JACK?!?!?! WHAT’S HAPPENING

- is this where the bribe and everything comes in?

- that screen swipe tho

- so I’m guessing this is Pulitzer’s mansion or something?

- DAVEY YES

- Pulitzer what are you wearing

- the way the statue is positioned to be shooting at him-nice touch

- it’s villain monologue time

- okay uh he wasn’t talking that time

- he’s not actually looking Jack in the eye?

- yes Jack

- ooooooooooooooooh the suspense

- Dramatic Villain Look

- it’s not a disney movie without a banister slide

- so THIS is the alleyway scene

- OH WOW YEAH I GET IT

- even the music wow

- oh Sad Reprise time

- “you’re the only light that’s guidin me today” *crutchy appears* yeah that was intentional

- Crutchy’s face....

- this is Heartbreaking

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- Wiesel’s face makes this 8000 times worse

- BLINK’S ANGER

- WIESEL YOU NEED TO STOP

- I CAN’T BEAR THIS

- oh no...dAVEY OH NO NO NO NO NO

- I CAN’T BEAR IT

- DAVEY’S SPEECH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- I AM NOT OKAY

- JACK NO DON’T SAY THAT THEY GAVE YOU EVERYTHING

- YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT FAMILY IS DO YOU

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- “we don’t need you!” this is Real Pain

- “never!” DAVEY I LOVE YOU

- Les sweetie you’re so trusting and they’re still trying to protect your feelings ugh I love

- Jacobs Family Antics for the win

- so he just leaves

- I WISH WE HAD SEEN MORE OF HOW IT AFFECTED HIM IN THE MUSICAL

- WHICHEVER DELANCY THAT IS STOP NO STOP

- at least the other stopped him

- DELANCYS YOU NEED TO STOP NO STOP STOP STOP

- STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

- yes Sarah punch him

- NO NO NO NO NO NO

- oh god here come the brass knuckles

- Jack finally coming to his senses

- it’s about freakin time

- “remember Crutchy?” *bash* ICONIC

- “no, smart.” Jack I love you but you really don’t see how important your newsie family is do you

- Denton spilling the tea

- he shushes Sarah but they’re gonna have a musical number soon yep makes total sense

- wait the whole song is in their heads? MUSICAL TELEKINESIS

- once and for all will always be a bop

- “just hope I get to thank him for it someday” LOVE

- YAS THROW THOSE PAPES

- Y      E       E      T

- yes boys hold that long note as you dramatically pan across a brick wall

- so this is Roosevelt

- so this is where Blush comes from

- it’s just. really good music

- LES HONEY I LOVE THE REPRISE

- RACE I LOVE YOU

- what’s up with these bike people

- everyone knows the words now apparently

- beautiful chord

- what an epic, triumphant feeling this must have been

- THERE’S SO MANY OF THEM

- “and such awful language” glad that’s in there

- but you didn’t break him now didja

- so THERE’S WHERE THE LAMP THING CAME FROM HAHAHAHAHAHA

- so you really think yelling “go home” is going to change everything

- shouting match ftw

- “we only use the best, Joe, so I just wanted to say: thanks again” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOVE

- what’s he whispering to Les-wait AWWWWWWWWW

- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- WE WON YALL

- this is such a Disney movie I love it

- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- wait now what

- is this what I think it is

- “you don’t have to run. not anymore” I officially love Denton

- okay the “blessed children” melody playing while kids are freed is Poetic Cinema

- IT IS WHAT I THINK IT IS

- HE’S BACK YALL

- CRUTCHYYYYYYYYYYYYY

- still not used to that spelling btw

- “share what you got in common” CRUTCHY I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

- almost makes you feel bad for snyder. key word: ALMOST. hahaha

- “wait who comes walkin in” OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HERE WE GO

- JACK’S FACE HAHA I LOVE IT

- “that’s roosevelt?” Race I love you

- “so, uh..could he...drop me at the trainyards?” Jack. Old buddy. Old pal. What

- his face shaking teddy’s hand and the music slkdfjlshgoeibnclfboeifvl

- what’s happening he’s just riding away?!?!?!

- THE JACOBSES

- THEIR FACES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- im heartbreak

- and jack smiling so big okay Big Sad

- LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

- LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

- love how they’re playing like it’s the end of the movie and by love I mean endless angst

- You know that part in the sound of music when they’re trying to sing but it’s just Not The Same without Maria? Yeah that’s this

- Davey’s lil smile ugh I love him

- the music is building Jack is coming back I can Feel It

- Les reacting! aaaa! this has become a Les Appreciation Post

- Denton’s reaction!

- “besides, I got family here” HIS FACE AND DAVEY’S FACE

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- okay Javids I DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND

- Les just beaming up at him AAAAAAAAA

- THAT LITTLE SMILE. THAT ICONIC LINE. DAVEY YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

- THE SPITSHAKE

- CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT.

- SARAH

- okay gotta admit this is REALLY FREAKIN CUTE

- LES HUGGING THEM

- of cOURSE SPOT IS IN THE CARRIAGE HAHA KING OF BROOKLYN INDEED

- look at them go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Y E E T

- I LOVE THEM

- did someone in the crowd just say “it’s crazy”

- YES ICONIC HEEL CLICK KID

- well, guys and gals and nonbinary pals, this was A Ride

- thank you for joining me on this journey

[madweekay]

WTF Podcast Index (2018)

Topher Grace - I have always had a soft spot for Topher Grace. I couldn't finish this episode because I want to keep having a soft spot for Topher Grace, and what I heard confirmed that Grace is really really boring and there are no interesting depths past his...sexy-sorta? eyes.

Maggie Gyllenhaal - This was an absolute delight because it was so familiar. I felt like I was back living on 136th and broadway, surrounded by too many people with Columbia degrees, who all knew how to let the world know that they went to Columbia while not being pretentious about it. I miss those days.

Jeff Daniels - I once heard a previous interview with Jeff and delayed listening to this one because I didn't need a full hour of jackassery. He always comes off like that guy who would defend a guy’s right to be a guy while NOT being the guy who would act on those so-called rights. That said, he will remain to me the coolest dad in a movie because of Fly Away Home.

Michael Douglas - I love Michael Douglas, full stop. And I wish casting directors will go back to casting actors and actresses based on chemistry. Romance is so dead in movies now because nobody knows how to bring the heat, and Douglas was always so good at that. Decent interview too. Light and nothing new.

D.L. Hughley - I was never a huge fan of Hughley the comedian, but this interview made me like the person a lot more.

Eric Idle - Michael Palin and John Cleese were always my favorite Monty Pythons, but Idle was always the one who seemed to be having the most fun, and what a joy this interview was.

John Cleese - I'm fiercely protective of comedians, but listening to this episode I conceded the point that sometimes they are not all brilliant creatures with a viewpoint that must be heard. And what a fucking gas bag John Cleese is in his old age.

Anna Faris - She seemed unhinged so I politely stopped a few minutes in.

Kristen Bell - Being a casual member of the marshmallow club, I could not hate anything about this interview. I'm still not watching "The Good Place".

Jay Leno - I loved this. Jay will be Jay. It was fascinating to hear him trying to "clear" his name, but also not denying any of the main gripes people have of him.

Ray Liotta - This was fun but it also made me sad that he is really only famous for two movies: Heartbreakers and that other movie...i forget. Oh right. Goodfellas.

Paul Rudd - I couldn't get through this. i don't remember why. Maybe a bit of a Topher Grace situation again?

Lil Rel Howery - The TSA man has (had?) a show on Fox that was impossible for me to get through. And I couldn't do the same for this interview.

Billy Bob Thornton - I couldn't get through this either. I'm always surprised by how normal Thornton comes off in interviews.

Holly Hunter - So I love Holly Hunter to freaky levels and I had to stop listening to this because once again, I didn't want to stop loving an actor. I'm quite sure if she could, she would have mentioned she doesn't own a tv and thinks social media is like bad for our culture.

Bob Balaban - I live in nyc. I didn't want to listen to an hour of a conversation I'd overhear ANYWHERE in this city.

Mary Steenburgen - This was so good! Until I realized, "wow this is just a lot of crap to absorb just for one actress who is famous for well nothing and we haven’t even left Arkansas yet!", so i stopped.

Josh Brolin - so, I'm quite sure there is some reason I am not supposed to like Josh Brolin, but I am going to ignore whatever these reasons are because he is funny as fuck and super friggin awesome. My favorite WTF this year.

Melissa McCarthy - She seemed incredibly levelheaded and awesome. I have loved her since Gilmore Girls, and that's never changing.

Drew Carey - Boy, he sure seemed super eager to launch into his "I am dark and with layers" stories. He also has a very annoying laugh. My younger brother was obsessed with the Drew Carey show and Whose line is it anyway. By osmosis, I loved these shows as well, which means I will love Drew Carey even if I shouldn't listen to another interview with him.

Bradley Whitford - I have bizarre crushes on actors that make no sense, and Josh from West Wing was such a case. I loved this interview, but I cannot recall why. I think it didn't get too personal but was a very good conversation.

Aisha Tyler - Aw man I have a weird soft spot for Aisha Tyler because The 5th Wheel was my jam. But listening to this made me sad because she seems sad? And I want her to be happy?

Jason Alexander - Jesus. A fucking asshole.

Neil Patrick Harris - Jesus. A fucking asshole.

Sean Penn - Jesus. A fucking asshole. And my god Marc. You're a liar: You know you hated his book.

Ted Danson - Impressions (all positive) of Ted Danson remain intact after this interview. Nothing groundbreaking but comforting to listen to.

Jennifer Lawrence - She tries way too hard to come off like she's not trying way too hard.

Heather Graham - Heather Graham is sweet. And this was a sweet interview.

Tracy Letts - I have a weird-as-fuck thing for him. I enjoyed this interview. I'm not a theater person, but I loved the August Osage movie. Also The Lovers was quite good.

Macaulay Culkin - I was deep into this and then stopped because I mean, whatever.

Richard Jenkins - "'Kershner' was in Kentucky!" I love him but I didn't finish this because well in the end he's just a character actor. I don't care THAT much.

Ta-Nehisi Coates - Oh how i miss the days of Coates writing with typos and having a lively Disqus community under his Atlantic posts. Now he bores me to fucking tears. Couldn't finish interview.

[thewingedwolf]

Get to know people

Tagged by @breanime 😘😘 (50 years ago and I thought that I posted this but turns out I just drafted it 😒😒) thanks you’re a star!! I’m gonna tag @ribbon-couture @autisticminyard @monstersandheartache @addictsitter

name: Rani

star sign: virgo

height: like a hair under 5 feet, but I always say five feet bc like literally it’s like a cm below

put your itunes or spotify on shuffle. what are the first 4 songs that popped up?

Would that I by Hozier

Young Blood by The Naked and the Famous

No Drug Like Me by Carly Rae Jepson

If I Didn’t Have You from Quest for Camelot

have you ever had a poem or song written about you? ........not that I can remember? I did have a girl write me a note with a bunch of shitty pick up lines bc I said those cracked me up, which was really sweet but she was a lil younger and I felt sorta weird about going on a date with someone I viewed as like a younger sister.

when was the last time you played guitar? Seventh grade music class (so like a decade ago) and I hated it and was bad at it which cracked up my teacher bc I was good at everything music wise except that

who is your celebrity crush? Listen people are Real Hot and I am Real Bi. Right now I’m really into Barbie Ferreira, Lana Condor, and Jason Momoa, but I’m always determined to marry Freema Agyeman, Meghan Ory, and Booboo Stewart.

what’s a sound you hate and a sound you love? I love the sound of of my heater when it’s working properly and I hate the sound of the fucking raccoon that lives in our area crawling around on the roof at 3 am

do you believe in ghosts? Not particularly although I wouldn’t get judgey if someone else believed in them

how about aliens? Aliens are real and I’m gonna fuck them all

do you drive? Nope. I’m short and anxious and I can’t reach the pedals

what was the last book you read? I think it was deadly class vol. 7. I’m currently reading American hippo and A Kiss for Midwinter which I’m *almost* finished with.

do you like the smell of gasoline?😒😒 no

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? I semi regularly pull the bottom most rib muscles, usually the one on the left side of my body. My doctors genius answer to why I keep doing this: “idk bruh ur just really small and sort of underdeveloped” That was money well spent!!

do you have an obsession right now? Romance novels. That’s like 90% of what I’ve been reading over the last few months. My queen’s thief obsession has also resurfaced bc the new book is coming out soonish. Also deadly class I Would Die For My Kids.

do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I try hard not to but I know I do. I’m like. Working on that.

in a relationship? No. App dating gives me anxiety and everyone at work is either married or divorced with kids that are my age. I would like to be!!!!!!!! Even just casually dating but app dating is Bad And Stressful it’s just constant blind dates and I don’t like that.

[flamestoillusions]

‘I’ll work on something’ I tell myself but anyway, here’s this otp thing I did with Tannim and Falwynn. 

Who would be the big spoon?:

Now you’d think that’d it’d be Tannim, what being the bigger one and all. But no, it’s Falwynn. She’s a big cuddler and despite their height difference, he is pretty much her teddy bear when they go to sleep.

Who would wake up first?:

Tannim as he’s an early riser that can be up around dawn. And while Falwynn’s grip isn’t hard to pry off, he feels bad about it. So he ends up giving light kisses around her face, collarbone, and arms as it makes Falwynn shift slightly and he eventually can just slip away with no roughness.

Do they have nicknames for each other?

Falwynn calls Tannim either ‘sunshine’ or ‘sun beam’ as he’s just a ray of light to her. Tannim calls her ‘wyn’ or ‘lovely’ as that is what she is to him.

What happened when they met each other’s parents?:

Let’s get the sad part out the way, Tannim no longer has parents to take Falwynn to and she felt bad about bringing it up. However, he has brought her to his household where she gets what he means by his house is ‘a lil’ loud.’ And there’s one time they needed a place to stay and the closest place was Andrei’s chapter. Oh man. All these paladins just mooning over this cute woman that their ‘little boy’ brought home. Tannim probably overheated for once in his life from all the embarrassment.

On the other hand, Falwynn was so excited to take him home. She insisted that her parents would love him. Which wasn’t necessarily wrong. Her mother was like ‘first time, you’re a guest. Next time you’re family. Now c’mere and give me a hug.’ And then she proceeds to tease Falwynn about her catch. Her father warmed up to Tannim too after he got over that Tannim really, truly is just nice and not a lady killer.

How do they apologise after an argument?:

I don’t see arguments being too common with Falwynn and Tannim. So when it happens, it has to be a big deal. And most times they’re not angry but feeling horribly mortified afterwards. Like ‘Avatars was that Too Much™?’ Tannim would most times be the one to apologize first. As the Ne-Yo song goes “I don’t wanna go to bed mad at you and I don’t want you to go to bed mad at me.”

What would they be like as parents?:

They’re both rather gentle parents that are firm when need be but no more than that. Although they low-key spoil their child(ren) but make it a point to let their kid(s) know they’re spoiled. But they’re also those parents that can get flustered and probably would be the ones in a ball pit if it seemed like their kid got buried in there.

Who is the better cook?:

Tannim. Cooking is a hidden talent of his but Falwynn is pretty good at it too. Whoever cooks though depends on how busy they are. There has been some nights of coming home to half cleaned dinners with their SO asleep having waited for them. 

Who is more romantic?:

Hm...I’m pretty sure that both of them are on even ground on that front. I don’t think one is more romantic than the other. However, any gestures either makes can make the other swoon.

What sort of gifts do they get for each other?:

Tannim normally forges something for Falwynn, usually in line with something he notices she needs or had been admiring. He gets really picky about what constitutes ‘done’ as he doesn’t want to give her anything nicked or even scratched. Falwynn is usually one to find some kind of entertainment like shows at the theater since she knows Tannim likes them.

But a sort of mutual present amongst each other are books. Tannim is barely literate and gets embarrassed when it comes up how little he knows with books. So Falwynn just sorta got into reading books to him when they’re lazing around. He’s grown to love the stories and Falwynn’s voice as she sets up the scene and characters. So the reading has just stuck.

Who gets jealous easiest?:

Falwynn. Her jealousy isn’t a problem but she does know there are people that’d kill to get at her SO. He’s a famous adventurer after all. It only really extends to clinging to him when she overhears another’s talking about him and laying a kiss or two on Tannim.

Who gets more excited for events e.g.. Birthdays, Christmas?:

Falwynn. She came from a family that goes hard for the holidays. They decorate, help in local festivities, and would be that family that made cookies for the entire neighborhood. So when Tannim first joined her for this, he was overwhelmed and a bit flustered/frustrated when he messed up. Falwynn thought for a while he hated doing holidays and was trying to think of how to tell Tannim he didn’t have to push himself and assuage any hearsay her family might have about it. He was confused by her explanation as it came out really fast but when he processed it, he started laughing. Tannim then went to show her his attempts to practice her family’s traditions and proclaimed that he loves her and her family’s enthusiasm but simply didn’t want to slow their industrious pace. 

Who is the most adventurous?:

Well, they’re both adventurers by trade so I’d say they’re both pretty adventurous. They’re pretty lax on it too, finding even ‘mundane’ things to be a venture. However, I think Falwynn has more zeal in regards to adventures than Tannim does. As for midnight ventures......heh heh heh, they’re willing to try new things but are kinda ones that end up asking the other almost every other minute if they’re still on board with it and being very awkward while they’re figuring the technique, toy, what have you.  

Who is the most protective?:

How I see the answer to this question is this height difference post that had one that’s along the lines of ‘the smol one is the fearsome one. Don’t hurt their teddy bear. Don’t get stabbed hoe.’ Yea, pretty much Falwynn is protective because Tannim’s just so soft on others. She’s more so but that’s not to say that Tannim isn’t either. Those bits of chivalry that he’s learned because of paladin stuff shine through when he is protecting her and Falwynn would be lying if she didn’t like how he’d kiss her hand after doing so. 

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts?:

Sounds cheesy but probably romcom levels of cliche. They would be neighbors that ended up hanging out a lot together. Falwynn actually didn’t notice Tannim as he was just a constant in her life she never thought about. Tannim on the other hand crushed on her but was very ‘I don’t think I could be good for her.’ Falwynn eventually moved away and they meet again much older ad watch as they are like ‘um, wow’ and trying (and failing) to get the other’s attention.

BONUS: Song to sum them up?:

Toothbrush by DNCE. I feel their relationship doesn’t really have to be anything grand or shouted for all to know. It just becomes natural for to leave things at the other’s house and being there at all. And they’d just either shrug or blush when someone’s like ‘wait, you’re both dating?’

Do I ship it?

NOTP / Crack only / AU only / Not really / Maybe a little / Well now I do/ Yes/ Of course! / OTP/ Holy hell these two are killing me with their sweetness

[surveys-r-us]

guess who’s still unemployed and still bored

1. Song Title: I Don’t Owe You Anything - The Smiths

Do you know the words to this song? Not all of them

2. Song Title: Moondance - Van Morrison

What’s your favorite line from this song? ‘’A fantabulous night to make romance ‘neath the cover of October skies”

3. Song Title: I Go Blind - Hootie & the Blowfish

How does this song make you feel? Happy. 

4. Song Title: On the Loose (Alternate Version) - Niall Horan

What genre of music is this song? Pop

5. Song Title: Most of Us Are Sad - Eagles

Favourite instrument in this song? Guitar

6. Song Title: Ladies’ Choice - Zac Efron

Have you ever heard this song in the car on the radio? Nope unless Sirius XM has a broadway/musical channel. 

7. Song Title: Cold Arms - Mumford & Sons

How many times have you listened to this song? Probably like 10 times I don’t know. 

8. Song Title: All of This - The Naked and Famous

Would you consider this song to be underground, overplayed, mainstream or rarely heard of? I think people know The Naked and Famous but this song is probably rarely heard of. It’s not Young Blood. 

9. Song Title: Lilith - Nirvana

Was this song on a movie? I doubt it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Nirvana in a movie now that I think about it. 

10. Song Title: Bleed to Love Her - Fleetwood Mac

Is this song in English? Yes. This is a stupid question. 

11. Song Title: Everyday is Like Sunday - Morrissey

Where is the band from? England. 

12. Song Title: Normal - Eminem

Would you have this song as a ringback tone? No

13. Song Title: The Way You Used to Do - Queens of the Stone Age

How did you first discover this song? Because I found their song No One Knows so I checked out their other stuff. 

14. Song Title: Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

Best dance move to do to this song? Some artsy af contemporary thing. 

15. Song Title: I’m Still Standing - Elton John

Is this a remake of another song? No

16. Song Title: Can’t Help Falling in Love - Christian Leave (would’ve been perfect for the 15th question)

Can you play this song on any instrument? No but I want to learn it on guitar (this is ukulele tho) 

17. Song Title: Summertime - Kenny Chesney

Which line in the song describes you? It’s currently summer so I guess the entire song does. 

18. Song Title: Harmony Hall - Vampire Weekend

Which of your friends reminds you most of this song? Probably my friend Lauren

19. Song Title: Amsterdam - Guster

Does this song describe a period of time in your life? Sorta

20. Song Title: Shake It Out - Florence + the Machine

Do you have a t-shirt supporting the singer/band of this song? No but her merch is probably gorgeous if she has any. 

21. Song Title: Sucker for Pain - Lil Wayne and everyone else i’m too lazy to type out

Is this your best friend’s favorite song? Not at all. 

22. Song Title: Jude Law and a Semester Abroad - Brand New

If this song played at a dance, what would you do? Headbang duh. But this would NEVER play at a dance. Most underrated Brand New song.

23. Song Title: Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel

What’s the best sounding instrument in this song? The guitar duh. 

24. Song Title: Got My Mind Set On You - George Harrison

Does your favorite band sing this song? The Beatles are my favorite band and Harrison is my favorite Beatle so yeah technically. 

25. Song Title: Band on the Run - Paul McCartney & Wings

Is this appropriate to be played at a funeral? I mean I guess? 

26. Song Title: One Day at a Time - Sam Smith

Have you ever heard this song live in concert? Nope

27. Song Title: Moshi Moshi - Poppy

Great sex song or not? Hahahah no. 

28. Song Title: A New Hope - blink-182

What comes to mind when you hear this song? Star Wars. Creative, I know. 

29. Song Title: The Real Slim Shady - Eminem

Is this one of those songs you hate but have anyway? Honestly it’s my least favorite Eminem song. 

30. Song Title: Ground - Wallows

Does your ex like this song? No

31. Song Title: Gone - Matt Nathanson

Could this song be considered for a “fight scene”? No... 

32. Song Title: Dirty Paws - Of Monsters and Men

Is this song recent or old? More recent. But didn’t realize this song came out over 5 years ago (2012)

33. Song Title: Get Along - Kenny Chesney

Do your parents know this song? My mom might. 

34. Song Title: Like Rock & Roll and Radio - Ray LaMontagne Is this song a guilty pleasure/Are you ashamed to have it? Nope because he’s amazing. 

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week thirty-nine

Opinions on the songs which debuted on the billboard charts 4 october 1997, 6 october 2007, and 7 october 2017

10.4.1997

24) "The One I Gave My Heart To," by Aaliyah

I agree, '90s R&B. It IS sad when people you love hurt you. I used to think it was good when people you loved made you feel sad, but I've been listening to your arguments for the last few months, and you know what? You're right. People you love should make you feel good! Took a while, but I'm finally coming around to your side.

28) "Criminal," by Fiona Apple

So I'm on vacation from work, and I've been taking this time off to not think about anything and just sorta stare blankly at whatever the screen has to offer, so this is not a song for my current mental state. There's so much to unpack with this song, and I'm just not yet acclimated to thinking about what this song has to offer. I need to get back on that critical thinking horse, but I've been lazy the last couple days, aand like you know how difficult it is to concentrate on anything? Y'all givin' me shit like "I've got to make a play to make my lover stay, so what would an angel say? The devil wants to know," and I gotta try to frame it in some context or another, and meanwhile the Link to the Past rando tournament is right there. I can just turn that back on at any moment. Shit, dude. I'm sorry, Fiona Apple. I'm trying. You caught me at a bad time, but this is still probably the best song I've heard in a hot minute, so you've got that going for ya!

84) "Last Night's Letter," by K-Ci & JoJo

THANK YOU, 1997. This is how the list should've been ordered. Groove these '90s R&B slo jamz up the middle so I can make jokewords and get some practice thinking, THEN throw something with lyrical depth and whatnot at me. This song says "I'll love you always" before we even hit the first chorus. Follow Aaliyah up with this, then give me the country song that's gonna follow, THEN I'll be ready to say something substantive about Fiona Apple. Fiona Apple was a thing, right? Like, she would've pretty much been '97 Lena Dunham? Or would she have been a Woke Twitter Hero? I don't know, and it's too late to ever find out because the list has moved on to a song where two men with nice voices sing about passion and devotion. "I wrote this letter last night." Do you think they wrote "I wrote this letter" in the actual letter? Do you think they repeated the chorus in the actual letter? I hope so!

87) "Valentine," by Martina McBride & Jim Brickman

Imagine going to a hoedown, turning on the local country radio station, and hearing this. I mean, maybe this was a solid play for adult contemporary radio, I dunno who Jim Brickman is but I dobut he goes hard too often, but Tay Tay's "Red" was a #2 country single. It would follow that country would listen to anything Martina McBride, but like just... Every single bro country dude was weaned on songs like this. This was what country music sounded like before "i respect the flag AND the party" bullshit. I've made this point before, but it's worth noting, pop/country? That's a genre with a bizarre evolutionary line!

91) "Please," by The Kinleys

you could tell me these white girls are either sisters or two girls named kinley that happened to meet one day, and i would believe it. this is a song that would've been good enough to make the top 20 back when i only had like ten weeks of '97 to sift through, i would've said "yeah this is basic but it's not 'my baby daddy,'" but it's october and we've listened to so many other things and i've already forgotten what this was. country? sure. country. good job, country girls who probably named their kids Carson and Mackenzie.

95) "Go Away," by Lorrie Morgan

If you are using tumblr, your opinion of Marilyn Monroe has gone through three stages: 1) Marilyn Monroe is the epitome of glamour 2) Marilyn Monroe was basically Paris Hilton, like what did she do even? 3) HELL YEAH, MARILYN MONROE WAS PARIS HILTON. SHE WAS HOT AS HELL AND FUCKED ALL THE TIME. GOALS. This is the hottest country girl jam 1997 has provided, but it opens with some Marilyn Monroe cosplay, and this song is a hot jam in a way where it's like "hell yeah, I'd listen to this again!" and not "let's start a music discussion club to delve into the deeper meanings of this song. When she asks, 'Go away and wait a minute,' what does she mean?" so let's just goof on the video!

10.6.2007

53) "Do it Well," Jennifer Lopez

I heard the annoying Timbalandy intro and thought for sure 2007 was hitting us with more of that Kara DioGuardi. Nope! Ryan Tedder! Still a shitty Timbaland ripoff, that Latin pop jam J. Lo released a few months (and ten years) ago was way more in her wheelhouse than this, but I misidentified the bad songwriter who'd been tasked with wasting these three minutes of my life. Ryan Tedder's been doing things for ten years. I am so glad I'm an unexceptional white man, because it means life will never stop presenting me with opportunities regardless of whether or not I deserve them.

73) "1973," James Blunt

The fact that this song actually debuted at #73 makes me so happy. You have no idea. Like, this song is what you would expect the follow-up to "You're Beautiful" to be, James Blunt is trying desperately to show he has some edge and is also a Deep Thinker who doesn't look at girls and think about whether or not he thinks they're hot, he now tries to figure out a year in which she could have been beautiful. "Girl, you're so hot, you remind me of the year before I was born." Swoon. Such a serious artist, this one. Also: did you guys know three people are credited songwriters on "You're Beautiful?" Also also: there's a song called "2005" which is pretty much about "You're Beautiful?" Oh, James Blunt. I am prepared to fall down this YouTube hole someday, but not today. I have to figure out who Playaz Circle is.

91) "Duffle Bag Boy," Playaz Circle ft./Lil Wayne

Oh, 2 Chainz! That's who this is! Well, here I am, forgetting 2 Chainz existed as an entity before he was 2 Chainz and omitting him from the Decade Dance Club! Anyway, this is a song that presages Lil Wayne's extremely good decision to rebrand as a rock god, and it's, y'know, it's fine. It's an acceptable 2007 rap song, much like "Good Drank" was an acceptable 2017 rap song about half a year ago. I accept that this was ever in my life, and I will move on once I feel this paragraph appears large enough that someone could conceivably mistake this for in-depth analysis. What a large paragraph I wrote with no actual content! We have done good work.

94) "Freaky Gurl," Gucci Mane

Gucci Mane is another of the 35-member Decade Dance Club, and with songs like this, there's no shortage of reasons we've kept him around for so long! The way he only uses one flow so you don't get confused and think you're listening to multiple rappers. Intricate rhymes like in the third verse, where he ends six consecutive lines with "girl." And the way each verse only has eight bars so he can go back to the chorus is so polite, it knows why we came to the song and doesn't wanna screw around or seem indulgent with all those fancy A A A A A A rhyme schemes! Gucci Mane: ten years of greatness. Truly, something whose endurance I understand.

95) "Famous in a Small Town," Miranda Lambert

Miranda Lambert is one of my favorite country artists. I also get squicked out when millionaires sing lines like "Who needs their faces in a magazine?" You are incredibly famous! You don't get to sing this song! You are famous in several big cities! Don't sing songs revelling in mediocrity when you, yourself, are special! Like, Gucci Mane is awful, but at least he doesn't fuck around about the fact he owns a Hummer. He's not like "Don't worry if you can't afford a Hummer, life's not all about glamour!" he's saying, "Hell yeah, I got a Hummer. I fuck inside this big ol' car. You should get a Hummer. They're rad." Gucci Mane is a truth-teller, and we should respect that.

99) "Can't Help but Wait," Trey Songz

so like did they record one person clapping their hands and use that for every single '07 r&b song, or did they record hand claps every time they banged one of these out. i hope they made new hand clap noises for every song, it would make each song feel a little more personal, but i think all the studios just like shared the same hand clapping noise. i wonder whose hands they were that made this noise. this song is boring. why did anyone listen to this. they made this song a thousand times in 1997. seems like a waste of the handclaps.

7 October 2017

2) "rockstar," by Post Malone ft./21 Savage

"i cannot contain lyrical abilities of going so hard." what. why. why. who is this... i'm listening to this and wishing i was listening to a nickelback song. this is how fucking dire this song is. like legitimately. this song bites from nickelback, then has the audacity, the muthafuckin AUDACITY to say, "i can tell you're a lazy-ass aritst." preacher, heal thyself.

66) "Too Much to Ask," by Niall Horan

Niall Horan is a nice boy making nice songs and this is going to be another week where 2017 gives me absolutely nothing to work with, isn't it. I mean, I guess it's fine that Niall Horan is a person making John Mayer songs in a world where garbage like Post Malone rules the day, but why does he have to be John Mayer? Can't we do better than John Mayer? Is this really all we have to look forward to on the weeks that divas are not accompanied by an army of brass instruments, is maybe we're cool with Lorde but mostly the hope someone will sound like John Mayer instead of Calvin Harris? 2017, what ya doin'.

67) "Curve," by Gucci Mane ft./The Weeknd

No, sir, Gucci Mane has not lost a step in the last ten years! He's actually improved: this song is two and a half minutes long. Like, we're minimizing time loss, here. I know nothing good will happen. On some level, Gucci Mane knows he's not creating great, lasting art. Just talk about your dick for two and a half minutes and let me go back about my day.

85) "DNA," by BTS

My favorite was the one with the silver hair with the haunted voice because I think The Goth One is unexplored territory for boy bands and I'm glad that BTS has decided to be pioneers. I'm into this! It's dumb, loud pop music, but after so many months of dumb quiet pop music, I think it's high time we just let some young men dance their hearts out and sing about whatever grand emotion they're singing about, probably love, I don't know, I'm actually not ready to let go of this being a Kendrick cover. This is fun! Pop music should sound like Coke tastes, not how Coke makes you feel. This is a sugary little treat, and I'm glad that I was able to listen to it.

92) "Homemade Dynamite," by Lorde ft./Khalid, Post Malone & SZA

I like the original. I liked Melodrama because it sounded like its own thing, and this just sounds like something I could've gotten from any of the EDM bros. Khalid and Post Malone add their usual nothing, and with SZA, it's the same thing, I'd much rather listen to her on her own thing than her on someone else's thing. I dunno. I think y'all should've listened to this song before they felt like they had to ruin it with Post Malone. Lorde's great! I wish I could figure out why the general public rejected her but embraced Khalid!

Who won the week?

1997 because it had the only song I liked.

Current standings: 1997: 14 2007: 12 2017: 13 Next week: Elton John remakes “Candle in the Wind” for some reason, we insist on summoning old Tay Tay to the phone, and oh goddamnit 2017′s gonna give us Macklemore come on 2017 get it together

[josephstoontown]

Holiday Breakdown, Ch. I

Chapter I of "Holiday Breakdown," A Joseph's ToonTown story. (Formerly one-half of the story of the same name.)

This is another story I never actually kept a "hard" copy of (meaning I never converted it into AbiWord format).  Ah, what fun. (help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me)

Word count: 4,603 – Character count: 26,709 Originally written: October ?? - ??, 2016* Slightly revised: January 13th, 2017 Revised further: August 26th, 2017 (* I don't remember...  The original post date and the actual writing date are different.  Sorry.)

How do you say "Merry Christmas" to someone you haven't talked to in almost a year?

Shinko the Toon Girl and related characters and properties created by and © shinkothetoongirl Woody Woodpecker, Winnie Woodpecker, The Woody Woodpecker Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Walter Lantz Productions

[ ↶ Prev. Story | ← Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → | Next Story ↷ ]

    During the jolly holiday season in December, a pair of red-headed, cartoon woodpeckers were happily cuddled-up on a couch as they watched TV, wearing matching holiday sweaters.  They seemed to really be enjoying each other’s company… as well as the holiday programming.  However, within the apartment was a third person… an olive-gold fox who was the male woodpecker’s roommate… and, someone who didn’t seem very interested in holiday cheer.

    “Guys, could you turn down the TV?” he said from a desk in the corner.  “I need to focus on this…”     “What’s the problem, pal?” asked his roommate.     “Maybe Joseph doesn’t celebrate Christmas?” added the female situated in the male woodpecker’s lap.     “I don’t even know what Christmas is, Winnie…  It reminds me of Snow Festival back home, though.  But, no, I just– I’m trying to write a letter to someone, here.”     “Oh, yeah?” Woody asked, taking a sudden interest as he nudged Winnie to the side of the couch.  “Writin’ a letter to Santy Claus, Joe?”     “Who?”  The fox’s ears fell underneath his festive, red winter hat.  “No, Woody.”     “It is a letter for someone special?” the female woodpecker politely asked from her seat.     “Something like that.”     “Lemme see!”     Before Joseph could hide his letter away, he found it snatched up by the male woodpecker.  The fox narrowed his golden eyes at the bird…     “Woody!”  Winnie hopped up and walked over to her boyfriend.  “Don’t be mean!  I’m sure it’s something he doesn’t want anyone else to read!”     “‘Dear Shinko…’” the male woodpecker began to read with a smirk.     “Gimme that!”

    Woody gave a blink as the letter was forcibly removed from his hands.  He looked up at the fox, then, blinking again from the angry look on his face.  Woody, however, was no longer wearing a smirk… but, a look of confusion.     “Uuuhh… ya sure ya wanna send that letter off, pal?”  The woodpecker tilted his head.  “All it says it ‘Dear Shinko.’”     “It’s not done, yet!”     “Ooohh…  I see!”  The shorter figure laughed.  “By all means, go ahead ‘n finish writin’!  I’m sure Shinko’ll be interested in what ya been up to since April!”     “Who’s ‘Shinko,’ if you don’t mind me asking…?”     The fox perked, looking to his left.  Winnie had spoken up from that side, her blue eyes looking up with curiosity.     “Shinko’s his long-lost not-quite-but-maybe-someday almost-sorta-kinda–”     “She’s… a friend,” Joseph interrupted.  “I… think.  I don’t… really know.  We haven’t been in-contact for–”     “7 months, 29 days, 6 hours, 12 minutes, and 19 seconds!”     Joseph looked down at his roommate, a blank stare on his face.     “What?”  Woody gave a grin.  “I been keepin’ track!”     “W… why?”     The woodpecker shrugged in his green sweater.  “Just somethin’ to do…”

    “Anyway, Winnie…” Joseph continued, “it’s been a while and I’m sure she’s, ya know, kept busy and forgotten all about me.  But, for some reason…”     “I understand, Joseph.”  The lady gave a reassuring smile.  “I think it’s sweet that you’re trying to keep in touch with your friend – especially during the holidays.”     “Yeah…  I kinda wanted to give her this $100.00 gift card, too,” the fox said as he gestured to something on the desk.  It looked to be a gift card for Walmart.     “Didn’t’cha say she got sore with ya for spendin’ money on her, though?”     “She did.  But… I dunno.”  The fox frowned.  “I can’t think of any one thing to give her… and, it seemed like money was tight at her place, besides, so… I figured that a gift card would maybe… I dunno… lighten the load for at least a month?”     “Hey, wait a sec…”  The woodpecker gave his roommate a suspicious look.  “Where’d ya even get a hundie t’ spend on yer gal-pal?”     Joseph tensed at the question.  “Oh… I uh…”     “You been holdin’ out on me, pal…?”  He started to give his roommate the stink-eye.  “Our money sit-chi-a-tion ain’t so great, either!  We got bills t’ pay, ya know!”     “I kept it handy from when I arrived, okay?”  The fox frowned.  “It was… from my ‘emergency fund,’ I guess you could say.  Or… what was left of it, I mean.”     “Oh, Joseph…” Winnie with a sympathetic smile.  “You really shouldn’t do that…”     “I probably shouldn’t,” he agreed, “but, I did.”     “Joey, Joey, Joey…”  Woody shook his head and gave a sigh.  “What’re we gonna do with you?”     Joseph continued to look down with guilt… until he noticed Woody shoot him a smile.  For some reason, this made him smile as well.  Winnie couldn’t help but smile, herself.

    “No harm done, pal,” Woody said, giving Joseph a pat on the back.  “Just, ya know… maybe… run your expenses by your financial advisor, next time.”     “‘Financial advisor?’”  The fox tilted his head.  “I have one of those?”     “Ya do, pal!”  The woodpecker gave a grin.  “Me!”     “Says the guy who wanted to buy an ugly cow lamp for $50.00.”     “Heeey!  I’ll have you know that cow lamp was a prop from a real famous ‘toon!”     “Oh yeah?”  Joseph gave a smirk.  “Which one?”     “Homestar Runner!”     “Never heard of him.”     Both Woody and Winnie stared up at the fox for a moment.     “You’ve never heard of ‘Homestar Runner?’” Woody asked.     “Everybody loves the Homestar Runner!” Winnie added, excitedly holding her arms out.  “He’s a terrific athlete!”     “And… he’s a ‘toon?” Joseph asked, head tilting.     “He’s a Flash ‘toon!” Woody explained.  “I showed you his website, one time.  Don’cha remember?  White face, red shirt, li’l dopey?”     “No.  I don’t recall,” the fox admitted.  “I was probably pre-occupied that day.”

    “In any case, you get back t’ writin’ that letter!”  Woody walked around the fox and gave Winnie a nudge before the two walked back toward the couch.  “And, hey!  Tell Shinko I said ‘Hi,’ would’ja, pal?”     Winnie gave her boyfriend a suspicious look at that innocent request.     “What’s that supposed to mean?”     “Nothin’, nothin’!” the male woodpecker said with a laugh.     “Let’s hope so, Woody.”  The female woodpecker grabbed her boyfriend’s arm, giving it a squeeze and offering him a smile.  “I’d hate to think some other girl’s on your mind when you have your girl right here!”     Joseph watched Winnie give Woody a kiss on the cheek.  The woodpecker laughed in his special way, shortly after.

    “Say…”  Winnie smiled to her boyfriend.  “How about we go out for dinner?  My treat!”     Woody’s stomach gave a visible rumble at the suggestion.     “Think my stomach likes that idea!” he said with a grin.  “C’mon, Joe!  Get’cher coat!”     “No, silly!” the lady said with a giggle.  “Just you and I!”     “Oh?  Ooohh…!  Well then, don’t get’cher coat, Joe!” he laughed.     “And then, after dinner, maybe we could…”     The fox tilted his head the other way.  He’d been watching the conversation unfold up to that point… but, when he saw Winnie lean in and whisper to Woody, followed by Woody giving a loud cheer and clicking his heels, he decided it was best to just go back to focusing on his letter.  That was made even easier when he heard the two woodpeckers leave out the door shortly after.

    Alright… he thought.  Now, with those two gone, maybe I can get some writing done.     He stared at the crinkled piece of paper on the desk for several moments, trying to form words with his mind.  However, after five minutes of staring, he realized…

    I… can’t think of anything to write.

    Joseph sat at his desk, idly tapping his pen and staring at the blank sheet of paper that seemed to be mocking him.  It had been thirty minutes since the woodpeckers had left the apartment and all he’d managed to do was add a comma to the already-written line of “Dear Shinko.”

    “Why is this so difficult…?” he thought aloud, glaring at the crinkled paper.  “So much has happened since April… so, what’s stopping me from telling her about it?  Any of it?  Or… or even just saying ‘hello…?’”     The fox paused.     “Wait.  That’s… that’s a good starting point.  ‘Hello.’  Yeah, that’s how I’ll open the letter!”     With that, he set to begin his letter to his friend.

    Dear Shinko,     Hi!  How have you been?     “Bah, that’s garbage!” he said, crumpling up the paper a second later.  “What kind of greeting is ‘How’ve you been?’ for someone you haven’t even spoken to for most of the year?  No… I need something more… professional, I guess?  But, still friendly.  Hm…”     Joseph pulled a clean sheet of paper from the desk and began again.

    Dear Shinko,     Season’s Greetings.  I hope this letter finds you well.     And, once again, the paper was crumpled into a ball.

    “That feels wrong, too…  Maybe something more distant?  Or… maybe a mysterious greeting?  No, that’s stupid…  What if I…?  How about…?  No, wait, what if…?”     But, try as he might, Joseph simply could not seem to create a letter with a satisfactory greeting and, after several more failed attempts, he leaned down and rested his head on the desk.

    “Maybe I should just give up…  It’s not like she’s made any attempt to find me since I left.  Not… that she even knows I’m still here… probably.  But, maybe, it’s better that way.  I mean, she doesn’t need someone like me cluttering up her life… especially if I’m just gonna up-and-vanish, one day.  Again.  Probably.  Hm…”     The fox pulled his right hand into view and took a moment to examine the jade-inlaid ring on his finger.     “It’s weird that that ‘M’ guy hasn’t contacted me again, though…  No more weird letters with goodies… not even so much as a postcard.  Not since that first one, months back…”     He shook his head.     “Well, that’s fine.  Life isn’t as easy here as it was on Ragnarok but, dammit, I’ve made what I could of it and I plan to keep doing so for as long as it takes.  Besides…”     A grin came across his face.     “Woody’d be lost without me.”     “Who’d be lost without who, pal?”     The fox jerked out of his chair and looked toward the door.  Woody was standing there in his green sweater.  He had a huge grin, as well as what looked to be several pink kiss marks, on his face as he sauntered up to his roommate.

    “What happened to you?” Joseph asked.     “Ooh… not much…  I just played a few rounds of ‘Find the Mistletoe’ with Winnie, is all…”  The grin on his beak somehow became wider as he added, “I think I won.”     The odd laugh Woody gave made Joseph wonder about just what kind of game “Find the Mistletoe” was…     “So!” Woody started again as he rubbed the marks off his face, “did’ja get your letter done?”     “You tell me.”     The woodpecker looked toward the desk-side trash can.  The pile of crumpled pieces of paper said all there was to say.

    “What’s the problem, Joe?”     The woodpecker leaned up to look at Joseph’s latest attempt at a letter.  To his surprise, he once again saw a piece of paper with two words and a comma written on it.     “I thought you’d be done and watchin’ ‘Miracle on 34th Street,’ by now!”     Joseph withdrew a small, metallic, pen-like object from his pocket and placed it in his muzzle.  “You thought wrong, I guess.”     “What’s so hard about writin’ a letter to your favorite gal-pal, anyway?” Woody asked, watching his roommate make the end of the metal stick glow as he sucked on it.     “It’s just… hard,” the fox said, expelling a large cloud of what looked like smoke… but, smelled like spearmint.     “What is, though?  Just say ‘hi,’ tell her wha’cha been up to, wish ‘er Season’s Greetings, ‘n call it a day!”  Woody gave a shrug.  “Easy as pie!”     “It’s not that easy for me, I guess…”     “Do ya want me to write it for ya?”     “What?”  He blinked.  “No, I–”     “Scoot over!”

    Joseph found himself tossed out of the chair and on to the floor.  He then watched in confusion as Woody grabbed his pen and, apparently, began writing a letter to Shinko.

    “Dear Shinko,” Woody enthusiastically said as he scribbled on the paper, “Happy Holidays from your favorite fuzzball!  Things’re goin’ great, over here!  Got a sweet job at Joe’s Diner – no relation… sharin’ an apartment with the coolest woodpecker in ToonTown…  We got a nice TV, a couch, and a cozy bedroom with a bed!  Wouldn’t mind showin’ ya, sometime…”     Joseph growled as Woody repeated that almost-suggestive laugh from earlier.     “Knock it off!” he half-shouted, getting to his feet.  As he tried to take the pen away from Woody, the woodpecker hopped out of the chair, laughing his normal laugh and grinning again.     “Calm down, pal!  Gettin’ so worked-up over nothin’ can’t be good for ya!”     “Nothing?!”  The fox growled again, baring his teeth.  “You’re writing suggestive crap I’d never say to Shinko!”     “What’s so ‘suggestive’ about wantin’ your best gal in your apartment…?”     “That’s not what–”     Woody’s lowered his eyelids, his grin widening.  “Bedroom.”     “You sonova–!”     Again, Joseph took a lunge at the woodpecker.  However, the laughing ‘toon easily evaded him a second time, bouncing off his head and causing him to face-plant on to the floor.

    “Now, why’d’ja fall down?” the woodpecker teased from across the room.  “Can’t keep your balance?”     “Stupid… bird!” the fox huffed.     “Now now, Joey… no need t’ get personal!  It’s only a joke!”     Joseph gave a frustrated grunt.     “It’s okay if ya don’t wanna show Shinko the bedroom.  It is kind of a mess!”

    “Stop saying that…!” he protested.     “Stop sayin’ what?”     The fox rolled over and sat up on his arms.  “You know what!”     Woody gave an innocent smile, bringing his arms behind his back and rocking on his feet.     “No?  What?”     By that point, Joseph’s frustration was starting to get to him.     “Er, pal?  Are… are you cryin’?”     The fox laid back down, hiding his face under his hat.  Despite that, Woody could hear him sniffling.

    “Joey…”  The smile vanished from Woody’s face.  “C-c’mon, pal… don’t do that.  It was all for fun!”     The fox’s folded ears gave a flick as he heard a piece of paper rustle.  He didn’t move as he then heard the woodpecker walk his way.     “I didn’t even write anything!  Really!  Never even took th’ cap off th’ pen!  Look!”     “That’s not the point…” the fox said, not moving his Santa hat away.     “What’s wrong, then?”  He sat down next to his roommate.  “You can tell ol’ Woody!”     There was a long pause, followed by Joseph inhaling and exhaling a breath.  Finally, he moved the cap from his face and looked over toward the woodpecker.

    “I never meant to…”  He paused again.  “I never meant to do that, to her…”     Woody tilted his head.  “Do what?”     “I never meant to make her think…”     The fox took another moment to try and gather his thoughts.     “The last thing I ever wanted to do was upset her…  I just wanted her to know how much she means to me… how much I like her…  I didn’t want to make her think she was just some… object… some kind of goal, to me.  She’s not anything like that, to me…  She’s the most wonderful ‘toon girl in this or any other universe…  And… and, I blew it.”     Woody tilted his head the other way.  “Ya sure about that, pal?”     “I still remember how cold she acted after… after I did what I did.”  Joseph shook his head.  “Not that I blame her…”     “Don’cha think you’re overreactin’ a little, though?  I mean, ya ain’t even talked to her in 7 months, 29 days, 9 hou–”     “I’m positive she hates me…  This version of me, anyway…”     “‘This version?’”  The woodpecker looked completely confused at that point.  “Ya mean there’s another Joe out there?”     Joseph looked up at his roommate.  “I told you the story, right?  About how I was here before, some-odd years ago?”     “Yeah?  I think so…?”     Joseph turned his attention to the ceiling.  “I was a different person, then… and…”     “And, so was she.”

    The fox gave a blink.  He then looked at Woody again.     “What did you say?”     “I said, ‘And so was she,’” he repeated.  “Ya said she was a li’l girl back then, right?  All bright-eyed ‘n innocent ‘n stuff.  Ya told me since Shinko grew up, she’s been more serious-like?”     “She seemed so happy to see me…” the fox mused.  “Then, I screwed it up with that stupid kiss!”     “Well… that didn’t happen ‘til later, though!”  Woody gestured with one gloved hand.  “Didn’t’cha say she seemed kinda doom-‘n-gloomy, before that?”     “Kind of…  Like… I dunno…”  The fox looked up at the ceiling again.  “It seemed like that childlike wonderment she had was just… gone.  She seemed really happy when she was shooting her rifle at the firing range, but…”     Joseph paused.  Slowly, a horrified look crawled over his face.     “Woody…” the fox quietly said, his head turning toward the concerned roommate.  “You don’t think…”     “Not often!” he said with a grin.  “What’s up?”     “You don’t think… she ended up in the Armed Forces, do you?”     The woodpecker gave a confused blink.  “Umm…”     “War has a tendency to change a person… and she seemed like she’d seen better days – particularly in the past.  Plus, I’d never known her to be good with, or even be interested in, firearms.  But, as I watched her at the range… it was like watching a well-oiled machine… made only for shooting things.”     Joseph sat up, rubbing his face with one arm.     “That’s what it is,” he continued.  “She’s been re-programmed into a fighter.  That’s why she reacted the way she did.”     “By screaming?”  Woody gave a chuckle.  “Think about what’cha just said, pal!  If she was programmed for fightin’, she prob’ly would’a walloped ya instead’a freakin’-out!”     Joseph’s ears perked.  It was his turn to blink.  All at once, his horrified look became almost neutral.

    “Huh…  You’re… probably right, actually.  But…”  Joseph looked down, rubbing his muzzle in thought.  “What could it be?  She’s not the ‘toon I remember…  What changed?”     “Maybe she just wasn’t ready for life on her own?”     Again, the fox gave a blink.     “Didn’cha say she used t’ live with her animator?  Maybe her life ain’t what she thought it’d be when she was younger?”     “Heh.  Whose is?”     “Yeah!” Woody laughed.  “But, maybe, it’s just kinda… got her down.  So, when ya went ‘n kissed her, maybe that didn’t go like she hoped, either, and it kinda bummed her out?”     The fox tilted his head.

    “Ya said ya remember her likin’ fairy tale stuff, right?  Like, Disney stuff?”     “I think that’s what she said…”     “So, maybe… she was expectin’ ya t’ be her ‘White Knight’?”  Woody gestured again.  “Ya know… ride in when things seem their worst… pull her up on yer horse… whisk her away t’ live in a big castle with a million servants and tons’a moolah… that sorta thing!”     Joseph gave another blink.  “Maybe…”     “So, when it turned out you were just some peasant instead of a charmin’ prince–”     “Heeyyy…”     “– it just reminded her that life ain’t always like it is in the pictures!  Then, when ya went ‘n kissed her…”     “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like that…”     Woody gave another blink of his green eyes, watching the fox draw his smoke-pen from his pocket and take another long draft.     “I don’t know what I was thinking,” he sighed, emitting a plume of sweet-smelling pseudo-smoke.  The woodpecker stayed quiet as Joseph continued.     “The moment just felt… right…  We drew close… looked into each other’s eyes…  We blushed… I drew closer… she didn’t turn away…  Then… I kissed her.  I don’t know why I was expecting her to just melt into my arms and kiss back…  Like you said…”  The fox sneered.  “I’m no ‘charming prince.’  I’m just a worthless, penniless fox who just reminds Shinko of how miserable and depressing real life truly is.”     The woodpecker looked down at the floor as Joseph took another draw of his device.  For the first time in a long while… he didn’t know what to say.

    The fox continued to sit on the floor, staring down at his knees, not saying a word or drawing from his smoke-pen.  Woody didn’t seem in much better spirits, standing nearby with a concerned look on his face.     What do I do? he thought as he watched his roommate sit motionless in front of him.  What do I say?  This whole ‘Shinko’ thing’s really got him down-in-the-dumps…     “Ch… cheer up, pal!” is what he eventually said.  “We all do dumb things and–”     Joseph silenced his roommate with a nasty glare before slowly turning away.     “S… sooo…”  Woody rubbed his left arm, trying to think of something else to say.     “It doesn’t matter anymore, Woody.”     The woodpecker tilted his head as Joseph spoke.     “Maybe Shinko’s not the naive one, here.  Maybe it’s me.  I’m the problem.”     “Mm… I don’t think–”     “I expected too much from someone who wasn’t ready to give me what I wanted,” the fox continued.  “And I just expected everything to work out right.  It’s like you said… my actions ruined this image she had of me… and there’s nothing I can do to fix that.”     “I don’t think that’s true, either!”     “I can’t be Shinko’s hero.  I can’t be her knight in shining armor.  I can’t be her favorite person and I sure as hell can’t be her boyfriend.  I’m not even sure I can be her friend, to be perfectly honest.  That one action… that stupid kiss…  It ruined everything.  And you know what the funny part… the truly funny part… is?”     Woody’s head tipped the other way.  “No?  What?”     Joseph gave a chuckle before turning his head to look at Woody.     “Even knowing what I know now… I’d do it again, if I could.”

    There was a long period of silence between the two as Joseph returned to staring at the floor.  Woody just kind of stood and stared as he watched the fox slowly draw from his minty vaporizer now-and-then, thoughts entering and exiting his mind as to where to go with the conversation.  It was obvious Joseph had a lot of unresolved issues he needed to work out… whether with or without the help of others… but, Woody knew that, if there was something he could possibly do to get his friend out of his funk… he’d do it.

    “What’s your deal, anyway?” he said after a few more moments.     “What’s my deal with what?” the fox replied, still staring at the floor.     “You don’t even know if Shinko hates you or how she feels about you for sure, right?  Why’ve ya been hangin’ ‘round here all these months, bellyachin’ over what you only think was a huge mistake?”     “She screamed, Woody…”  Joseph gave a growl.  And then, she turned cold and went to bed.  She obviously did not appreciate the gesture.”     The woodpecker paused for a moment… which unfortunately gave time for Joseph to continue.     “Now, maybe, it’s different in ToonTown… but, back where I come from?  When you kiss someone, you either get slapped… or, they kiss you, back.  Shinko did neither of those things.  She almost acted like… like…”     The fox closed his eyes, his body giving a shiver as a particularly dark thought hit him.     “Alright, so maybe things didn’t go like ya planned!” Woody interjected.  “So?  Why give up?  Why call it quits?”     “Because, Woody…” the fox rebutted, an angry look in his watery eyes, “I think I’ve done more-than-enough damage, as it is… and, if I’d kept at it, I’d just be proving her right.”     “Proving her right?”  Woody tilted his head again.  “I don’t underst–”     “I’m not that kind of guy!  I’m not– I’m not…”  Joseph pulled his legs up to his chest.  He was rapidly losing his composure…  “I’m not…”     His roommate gave a hard swallow before cautiously asking, “Not… what?”     “I… I’m not… not a… not a r… r…”

    Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.  Woody hesitated for a moment…  He wanted to console the fox… but, at the same time, he really didn’t like where the conversation was going, having an idea of what Joseph was implying…  And so, he quietly walked over to the door.     “Hello?” he politely called from behind the door.     “It’s me, again,” called a feminine voice similar to his own.     “Oh!  Winnie!”     The woodpecker was quick to open the door after hearing that voice.     “You left your keys at my place, again, Woody,” the blue-eyed woodpecker said with a giggle as she held out a keyring.     “Oh!  Um… th-thanks!” the man said, taking the keys and putting them into his pocket.     “One of these days, you’re going to end up locking yourself out with no keys, Mr. Woodpecker!  And, then what?”     Woody gave a hollow laugh and a weak smile at the comment.  That immediately told Winnie something was wrong…

    “Are you okay, Woody?” she asked with a look of concern.  “And… is he okay?”     The two looked over toward Joseph.  He was still sitting on the floor, tail curled around his feet and arms hugging his legs to his chest.     “Um… let’s… talk.  Outside,” Woody said as he escorted his girlfriend back outside.

    “So that’s the problem…” Winnie said after listening to Woody explain the situation.  “That’s such a shame!”     “Yeah…” Woody added, his arms behind his back as he tapped a toe on the floor.  “Poor guy…  I tried t’ cheer him up, but–”     “Maybe this calls for a woman’s touch?”     The male woodpecker perked at the question.  “Eh?”     “Let me try talking to him, for a white,” his girlfriend suggested with a smile.  “Maybe I can help him feel better?”     “Well…”  Woody gave a light smile.  “Ya couldn’t do much worse than I did, I s’pose.”     “Oh, thanks for that vote of confidence!”     Winnie rolled her eyes with a smirk.  The two then shared a bit of laughter before settling back down.

    “Well… I hope ya can help him,” Woody said with a hopeful smile as he reached into his chest pocket.  Winnie scowled as she watched him withdraw a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.     “That’s a really bad habit, Woody…”     “Gotta do somethin’ t’ pass the time…” he said with a grin.  Winnie just sighed and shook her head.     “We’ll talk about this, later.  Right now, I need to see what I can do about poor Joseph.”     “Good luck, babe!”     “Thanks.”

    Winnie headed back into the apartment, leaving Woody to smoke in the hallway.  She was determined to try and help her boyfriend’s roommate snap out of his funk as she re-entered Apartment 3C.  As she closed the door and looked at the fox, however, she suddenly wondered…     What am I going to say?     She continued to think as she slowly walked over toward the upset vulpine curled-up on the floor.     I barely know anything about the guy… except that he’s Woody’s friend.  Think, Winnie, think…  What’s Woody told you about him?     Her beak curled into a smirk as she remembered some of the… “things…” Woody had mentioned.     The positives, Winnie, the positives.     She continued to try and remember some of the nicer things her boyfriend had to say about his roommate as she stood beside him.  Unfortunately, the more she thought about it, the less she came up with.     Darn it, Woody!  Why do you have to be such a silly bird all the time?  Couldn’t you have said one nice thing about him that wasn’t a joke?     Completely devoid of any other place she might begin, the female woodpecker decided to start with an old standby…