#and it's not like anyone else is gonna miss me soooo

[cemeteryvalentine]

astro observations part 4 !!! ^____^

(specifically based off my family :3 pleaseee don't get offended at anything that doesn't resonate)

🗝️: one thing about a sag placement, they are gonna hang up FIRST !!! i swear, if anyone misses flip phones, it's a sag placement/dominant. i just know they miss snapping that phone shut in a petty manner LOL. my mom is a sag moon AND rising, and she'd call me and demand me to do something in such a bitchy tone and then hang up on me like girl who tf do u think u areee 😭😭😭😭 LMFAO. but honestly good for her, i love being petty like her.

like i swear i take after my mom because everytime she does that annoying hang up before i can respond thing, i call her again just to say a snarky remark, and hang up on her back!

🐇: i swear, virgo placements have no problem being the grossest people alive, but suddenly it's a problem when someone else does it :/// it's really annoying. my brother has a pigsty of a bedroom, doesn't wash his hand when he pisses unless i make him, and leaves his trash everywhere, but constantly gets on my sister for the same things 😭. like the calls coming from inside the house !!! i think basically, (some) virgos are like picky(?) with what areas they'd want clean. like they're only really comfortable with THEIR mess and no one else's.

🗝️: i love how pisces mercury communicate because it's like what the hel are u awn about 😭 in the NICEST way though :3 they're so kewl and interesting to talk to, plus they're so nice and understanding. maybe because they're water mercuries after all. speaking of, my favorite artist ever kurt cobain was a pisces mercury and it SHOWSSS. a lot of nirvana lyrics feel artistic and metaphoric, or just realllyyyy silly. liiike "angel left wing, right wing, broken wing. lack of iron and or sleeping" from milk it, one of my nirvana faves. and "i vomit C*M and DIARRHEA". like girl whatever that means !!!! (song, mexican seafood)

🐇: mars influence on the asc makes for prominent features. especially eyebrows. my brother has an aries rising and he has such a bad case of RBF. i swear he never looks happy 😭 his virgo sun and cap moon definitely don't help at all either. then im a mars rising and i have big eyebrows like my brother. like we're the only ones with big eyebrows, while our parents brows look invisible LOL. also i'm a virgo rising !! and ppl are always saying i look mad which honestly pisses me off :P so in conclusion, mars influence + virgo placements = major rbf

🗝️: i HATE to add on to the cancer hate train since i'm one myself and i loveee being one + we get soo much hate, but i feel a (unevolvled) cancer makes for the worst pick me girl ever !!!! this def doesn't apply to all cancers, but the few cancer women i know can be so mean to other women so unprovoked. especially my mom, it gives me the ick when she calls random women b*tches or makes fun of them to me for their features or success or soemthing. i used to be a pick me too up until i was like 13 (im soooo happy i grew out of that mess QUICK!). i would constantly strive for male attention, it was embarrassing 😭. ik another girl who values her shitty boyfriend over her (girl) friends and i haaate it. like ive only known a few cancer women, but a lot of them are like the meanest pick me bitch ever, or such a sweeet, caring soul :). i feel like being a pick me stems from cancers being feminine AND traditional. yk? i pray i make sense, but yk how it's traditional for girls to be perfect for her man, and value him no matter the circumstance ?? and cancer/moon being **traditional** ? yeahhh 😭

anywayzzz that's all :3 tyyy for reading !! i had sm making a new observations, considering it's been a year since my last LMFAOO. and again, if it doesn't apply, let it fly. ty bye ^__^

[pardonmydelays]

hello bestie you okay? i miss you here!

i'm ok. i just don't see the point of coming here & posting anymore. to clarify: i didn't log out yet so i can still see the notifications, but i'm just... not really here. it's only for a while tho, i will probably log out soon & i won't be back.

[crossbackpoke-check]

18 + swaymark!!

oooo thank you!!

#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark

okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.

[wizardnuke]

hhbh

[verytendou]

CHILCHUCK COSPLAY SPOTTED

[doctorweebmd]

coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it

[fastandcarlos]

Missing Piece : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: fans are beginning to notice your absence around the paddock, little do they know the amazing reason you’re finding yourself hiding away

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by schecoperez, danielricciardo and 1,945,053 others

maxverstappen1: spending time with some of my favourite little humans this week in monaco 🏎️🏁

189,492 comments

username1: yet another race week without an appearance from y/n

username2: pls just give us the update we’re desperate for max

landonorris: are you there favourite human being??

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris always the favourite uncle

username3: I can’t wait to see this man with kids of his own

username4: max as a dad sounds soooo cute

schecoperez: it was lovely to see them in the paddock again this week!!

lewishamilton: a little birdie secretly told me that they’re actually a fan of me

maxverstappen1: @/lewishamilton whoever told you that is a liar!

ynusername: wish I could be there with you guys 🩷

username5: omg y/n

username6: is this a sign??? are they definitely still together???

username7: there’s still hope yet…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, maxverstappen1 and 582,010 others

redbullracing: all smiles for max as he finds himself in pole position heading into tomorrow 🏆

tagged: maxverstappen1

39,403 comments

username8: was it ever really in doubt??

maxverstappen1: thanks for all your support team! ❤️

username9: he smiles the way I smile seeing y/n interacting with him yesterday

username10: I bet he still wishes y/n was there though…

ynusername: so proud!! bring it home max 🏆

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I’ll do it just for you 💕💕

username11: so how come y/n can comment but can’t be bothered to show up and actually support max

username12: @/username11 you can still be supportive from a distance!

schecoperez: congrats max!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by username14, f1wags and 14,403 others

formula1updates: max came on stream tonight and reassured everyone that y/n is doing well and that hopefully she’ll be back in the paddock soon. sending you lots of love y/n ❤️🏎️

472 comments

username13: I really hope that it’s nothing serious

username14: WE LOVE YOU Y/N TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED

username15: thank you max for reassuring us all 🥺

username16: anyone else notice how he sounded like he was tearing up a bit talking about y/n on his stream earlier

username17: at least we know they’re both okay, that’s the main thing

username18: I can’t wait to see y/n back in the paddock too 🙏🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carmenmmundt, maxverstappen1 and 749,508 others

ynusername: the reason we’ve been a little quiet lately…we’re so happy to share with you all that the first two legged verstappen baby is on their way very soon 💕🥰

tagged: maxverstappen1

48,399 comments

landonorris: stfu you guys, congratulations!! can’t believe you kept this a secret from me!!

maxverstappen1: cannot wait for this new adventure with you, couldn’t ask for anyone better than you 🩷🥰

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 you’re gonna be the best mumma!!

username19: woah baby verstappen!!

danielricciardo: uncle daniel is ready to spoil this baby rotten!

redbullracing: emailing the suppliers to order a thousand red bull baby grows as we speak 😂

username20: I’m not even the one having a baby but I feel like all my dreams have come true

alex_albon: congratulations to you both…lily puts her name down for babysitting duties btw

ynusername: @/alex_albon she can have all the baby cuddles in the world!

oscarpiastri: this is the best news - can’t wait to meet your little one!

username21: preparing myself to be spammed by dad max soon! 🔥

georgerussell63: always knew you guys would be the first to settle…so happy for you both!

carlossainz55: beyond excited for you both!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 839,403 others

maxverstappen1: making the most of all these bump cuddles and mornings with my best friend, pregnancy really is a beautiful thing!

tagged: ynusername

93,492 comments

username22: I feel like I’m watching the cutest romcom with these posts ☺️

landonorris: how come you never let me rest my head in your lap and play with my hair??

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris start carrying my child and I might start listening

username23: these are the softest photos to ever exist 🥺

logansargeant: way to make the rest of us feel single guys 😂

ynusername: thank you for always taking the best care of me - I could never do this without you 🥰

username24: y/n and max reenacting every fanfic ever made 😭

username25: they’re just a dream 🥺

charles_leclerc: why is alex sending me these photos telling me I need to be more like max…

maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc I’ll give you some tips next race weekend 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, alexandrasaintmleux and 682,190 others

ynusername: people often ask me what I see in max and why I decided he’d be the perfect father for my children, well, here you are…😂

tagged: maxverstappen1

78,392 comments

username26: omg y/n this is amazing!

landonorris: officially my favourite instagram post ever!!

maxverstappen1: why you always gotta do me dirty 😂😂

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 you still look handsome in my eyes love

username27: shout-out to y/n for always finding a way to humiliate max

alex_albon: you’re lucky you’re pregnant, brave posting these y/n 😂

ynusername: @/alex_albon why else do you think I waited until he was on the plane to montreal 😉

username28: yet another reminder why these two are my favourite couple ever

georgerussell63: how do you always manage to get away with posting stuff like this 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri and 1,249,504 others

maxverstappen1: a post full of appreciation for my beautiful wife, you blow me away everyday with how well you’re coping, I couldn’t be prouder of you 🩷🥺

tagged: ynusername

59,492 comments

username29: I just want a boy who loves me as much as max loves y/n

ynusername: thank you for always being by my side, I’d be lost without you ❤️

landonorris: y/n honestly deserves a medal for putting up with you!

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris no one asked for you to appear in my comments section thank you 😂

username30: becoming a dad has made max soppy but I’m not complaining

lewishamilton: can we just take a moment to appreciate how amazing y/n looks in pregnancy

ynusername: @/lewishamilton all thanks to my personal stylist 😘

username31: officially in my feels now

lance_stroll: not long to go for you guys now surely!

username32: I don’t think I can wait another three months for this baby to arrive

username33: how am I this jealous of a couple that I adore??

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, schecoperez and 493,507 others

ynusername: bumpin’ along nicely 💕

48,492 comments

maxverstappen1: I miss you so much, can’t wait to get home and give you all the cuddles in the world!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 we miss you too - I’m officially unable to tie my shoelaces now 😂

username34: 😭😭😭😭

username35: I literally can’t cope anymore

schecoperez: max does not stop talking about you btw

ynusername: @/schecoperez tell him to shut up and concentrate on the race!

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I just can’t help it…I’m so excited!!

username36: I feel like I’m scrolling through pinterest at this point 🥺

carmenmmundt: I’m at home this weekend…omw now!

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt door is unlocked, non-alcoholic wine fresh out the fridge 🥂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by redbullracing, danielricciardo and 1,593,597 others

maxverstappen1: the end of another season, so proud to add another driver’s championship to the collection, but most of all I’m so proud of my wife. no rest for me, off season this year is spent preparing those finishing touches for our family of three ❤️🏆🎉

tagged: redbullracing and ynusername

148,403 comments

ynusername: could not be prouder of you - now let’s go and have a baby!!

username37: max’s year just keeps getting better and better!

landonorris: congrats bro…looking forward to the baby updates soon 💪🏻

danielricciardo: looking forward to stopping by the apartment to introduce your child to their favourite uncle!

schecoperez: @/danielricciardo I think you’ll find that role is mine

username38: never in doubt champ 🏆

username39: and now for the baby spam…

username40: can’t wait to see you become a dad max!

charles_leclerc: you could’ve let me have this one…you’re winning in life anyway 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, ynusername and 2,943,953 others

maxverstappen1: welcome to the world little one, the missing piece to our jigsaw is here and we’ve never felt more complete ☺️

189,472 comments

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙obsessed with u | LN4 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x ln4 admin/photographer!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, new relationship

warnings: none just a lot of fluff!!

summary: in which a podium means you and your boyfriend hard launch a little bit early <3

a/n: omg i feel like this fanfic revived me and im back fr 🙏 hope it's ok OMG i rly tried to make a good plot but i fear i got no inspo atm anyway i fancy lando soooo badly atm it's rly shocking how bad i want him anyway ENJOY!!!! hope it dont suck ballzzz ahhhhhhhh

request!!!: lando x reader smau where reader is the admin of the Instagram account lnfour. You absolutely have the liberty of what you wanna do with it

fc: various blonde girls from pinterest

my masterlist

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 381,117 others

user1 stop soft launching and tell us who she issss

user2 need details

user3 👀 mr lando norris plz spill

carlossainz55 cute

liked by landonorris

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, landonorris, and 18,204 others

yourbff ugh lil cuties

liked by yourusername

user4 so cute

friend1 aww look at you guys

liked by yourusername

lnfour 📍 melbourne, australia

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 183,927 others

lnfour ready for the weekend 🦘

tagged: landonorris

view all 4,013 comments

user5 any sign of the gf then? 👀

user6 i love y/n's photographyyy

user7 same she's got the female gaze downnnn

user8 he's so hot

liked by lnfour

user9 admin leak who his gf is to us plz xxx

user10 i have a good feeling about this weekend's race 🙏

lnfour us too!!! 🕯️

interview ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

lnfour

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 201,723 others

lnfour anyone else hoping for a big reveal this weekend then?

view all 6,812 comments

carlossainz55 yes, me

lnfour 😂

user16 HELLOOO???

user17 urm wait guys hear me out

user18 let me guess you think he's dating y/n

user17 👀

user19 who is y/n omg im losttttt

user20 literally lnfour admin and photographer lol

landonorris 🤷‍♀️

liked by lnfour

user21 STRESSSS

user22 heart palpitations

yourusername posted a story

liked by landonorris, yourbff, and 31,022 others

landonorris damn who's that sexy man

yourusername 🙄

user23 HMMMM

user24 lando & y/n dating???

user25 that your man?

yourbff stop coz they're connecting the dots y/n

yourusername what dots?!!!

yourusername

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 96,283 others

yourusername it's race day mi amigos

view all 3,727 comments

user26 mi amigos... muchos debris... they're meant to be perhaps

user27 some of you are reaching doesn't y/n have a bf already?

user28 she's been soft launching but nothing is confirmed so it could be anyone 👀

landonorris keep me in your thoughts and prayers

yourusername 😂 always!

user29 they're in love

user30 dramatic much

user31 wouldn't it be weird for lando to date someone he works with 😭

oscarpiastri let's goooooo

yourusername 💪

landonorris posted a story

liked by lnfour, yourbff, and 281,114 others

lnfour 💪💪💪💪💪💪 you got this

liked by landonorris

user32 URM HELLOOOO

user33 hi y/n

user34 hmmmmmmmm

user35 this is a big enough reveal to me .. 😇

lnfour posted a story

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 22,927 others

user36 🤞🤞🤞🤞

user37 we're gonna win babyyyyyyy

liked by lnfour

mclaren posted a story

liked by lnfour, oscarpiastri, and 586,711 others

lnfour 🧡🧡🧡

user38 AHHHHHHHHHHH

user39 our boyyy

user40 big reveal when?

yourusername so proud

liked by mclaren

user41 p1 next time

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 63,018 others

carlossainz55 so cute of him

yourusername CONGRATULATIONS CARLOS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user42 are you going to celebrate together

user43 AWWWW HE'S SO CUTE

charles_leclerc a handsome boy

yourusername 😊😊😊😊

oscarpiastri you'll come out celebrating with us?

yourusername wouldn't miss it for the world

alexandrasaintmleux posted a story

liked by landonorris, lilyzneimer, and 14,928 others

user44 she's such a wag without even being a wag

user45 love her

user46 oh to be in this friend group 😭

user47 she's so mother

oscarpiastri posted a story

liked by yourbff, landonorris, and 282,016 others

user48 IS THAT Y/N AND LANDO

user49 lando and y/n omg??

user50 OMG?????

landonorris delete

yourusername delete

*this story has been deleted*

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourbff, carlossainz55, and 305,137 others

yourusername not hiding it anymore then?

landonorris guess not 👀

yourbff AHHHHHH ily guys

liked by landonorris

user56 scream

user57 BIG REVEAL?!

lnfour

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 118,045 others

lnfour this weekend hit different

tagged: landonorris, carlossainz55

view all 2,018 comments

user58 YEA I BET IT DID

user59 just missing charles!!!!

user60 i love lando and carlos' friendship sm

user61 interesting

user62 not her acting like nothing is going on 😝

user63 WE KNOW

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 221,673 others

yourusername hits different cause it's u

view all 4,381 comments

user64 peep oscar

lilyzneimer pretty couple 🫶

liked by landonorris, yourusername

user65 omgggg mclaren wag bffs

alexandrasaintmleux ily y/n

yourusername ilysm❤️🧡

yourbff GORGEOUS COUPLE

liked by yourusername, landonorris

user66 omg im so excited

user67 best big reveal ever

landonorris wow. look at u

yourusername donttttt. you'll make me blush 😭

user68 i love them omg

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 599,738 others

user69 AHHH TERRITORIAL LANDO YES PLSSS

user70 god she's hot

yourusername NOOO I SAID STOP I'LL BLUSH😭😭😭😭😭

landonorris you think i dont want that???!

yourusername obsessed with u omg

landonorris obsessed with u a lot more trust

THE END 🧡

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mancity, mclaren, and 198,131 others

tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

view all 3,971 comments

mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 213,976 others

yourusername there’s no place like home

comments have been disabled

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[aayakashii]

I am once again presenting to you all a short comfort fic I made for myself after I got sad 🤲

too cute to be a bad boy

Warning: maybe just a bit of angst, but nothing else

“So you're telling me… You were on that train at that moment because you were at a concert?” Sho stopped cutting the bell pepper to stare at you from under his eyelashes.

“Um… I mean… Yeah…” you rubbed the back of your head, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his judgemental glare.

“That's a dumb way to go, I gotta say” he snickered and went back to chopping.

“Hey, I didn’t ‘go’ yet, okay? I’m still alive and I had to go to their concert. It was their last one, they disbanded after that.”

“Oh, I see, so it was a special concert, huh” he said, a bit of humor still present in his voice.

“Y-yeah… I mean, yeah. It was special. I would probably never see them again, at least not together. I had a lot of fun being part of the fandom, okay?” you pouted, and grabbed a stray french fry that laid on its counter, chomping on it.

“Hey, don’t eat that, that's old!” he widened his eyes.

“Well, what do you care, hm?” you said, dramatically raising your eyebrows as you glared at him “I’m gonna ‘go’ in like 10 months anyway, what’s a soggy french fry going to do?” you swallowed it as if to make your point clear.

Sho sighed, putting his cooking knife to the side.

“Hey, okay, I get it. I’m sorry for making fun of you. But... please don’t talk about yourself like that.” he looked at you, his eyes suddenly gloomy and regretful.

You avoided his gaze, staring at the floor. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes, as the weight of your own words seemed to dawn on you.

10 months.

And it felt like only yesterday that all you thought about was that stupid band.

“Hey, senpai.” You heard Sho gasp and he rounded the corner of his food truck’s counter, walking towards you. His hands held your arms tightly and he shook you a little in order to look at him. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

You hesitantly lifted your gaze to meet his. You didn’t know when you began letting the tears fall, but it seemed like biting your lips till they almost broke didn’t work as well as you planned.

You knew you weren’t crying because of Sho’s playfulness and you were pretty sure he also had enough emotional intelligence to understand that those were your unspoken fears taking over your body. But also, you didn’t feel like ruining what was supposed to be a fun date hangout with talks of your impending doom. You already had every single lonely waking moment to grieve yourself, you didn’t want to do that when you were with him. 

You sniffed and gave Sho’s forearms a gentle squeeze, and his tight grip on you loosened.

“It’s okay” you rubbed your eyes, drying up your tears. “It’s not your fault.” 

You looked up at him, a small reassuring smile on your face, and he sighed.

His arms hovered around you and, for a moment, you thought he would pull you into a hug. Instead, he patted your head, much like his captain usually did.

Sho trudged back inside his food truck, rubbing his neck, a conflicted expression plastered on his face for all to see.

You knew he didn't know what to say or what to do. Having a metaphorical guillotine hanging over you sure made it hard for people not to walk on eggshells. But if there was anyone you wanted to be comfortable around, it was Sho.

So you would have to find a way out of this little hole you had dug for the both of you.

“You know” you began “I was just crying because I miss Hizu soooo much” you said with your hand hiding the smirk that began to form on your lips at your silly attempt to make the atmosphere loosen up.

Sho raised an eyebrow before resuming his chopping, as you scrolled through your phone.

“Hizu…? Who’s that.”

You turned your phone to face him with a playful smile on your face.

A photo of a man with brown hair and dark eye makeup filled the screen. He was shirtless with just a black faux fur jacket haphazardly thrown over his shoulder and he appeared to be singing on stage, if the sweat on his body was anything to go by. He looked angry as he was (apparently) yelling something into the microphone, while one of his hands touched his own bare chest.

Sho choked on his saliva when he turned his gaze to your phone.

“Wh-what’s that?!” he said, after a coughing fit that left you laughing loudly, the previous tears completely forgotten.

“Not ‘what’! ‘Who’, please be respectful!” you said, faking outrage “And this is Hizu, he was the vocalist of the band I liked, obviously.”

Taking a sip of water, Sho turned to you, flustered.

“Wow senpai” his voice cracked while he smiled awkwardly “Didn't peg you as someone who liked this… This type of guy…” he muttered, trying to find his bearings before beginning to chop his vegetables again.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me yet, my dear.” you put your phone back in your pocket, feeling triumphant after catching him off guard and getting such a cute reaction from him. If there was any reason for you to beat your curse, you were pretty sure one of them was to keep on teasing him.

“I thought you were too nice to like a scary type of guy…” he grumbled again, deep in thought, eyebrows knitted and the tip of ears pink, as he finished his task and began mixing everything inside a bowl.

“Whaaaat. You’ll see that, in fact, I am pretty attracted to bad boys.” you said, resting your elbows on his counter as you leaned your head on your hands.

Sho’s head quickly snapped towards you, and you smiled happily when you noticed the blush spread from his ears to his cheeks. He scratched his cheek and looked away, walking towards his fridge to grab the hamburger meat he needed for his recipe – and NOT to cool his face down, no, not at all.

“Um, yeah. I sure hope you like bad boys.”

You giggled at his bashfulness. Your kouhai was just too cute to be a bad boy, but you weren't going to say that. At least not at that moment.

Full masterlist

[know-it-all-and-all]

THE EPISODE TWO WAS AMAZING!!!!!

I'm soooo ready to do more buttonblossom content omg! I love how Ragatha is and how more of Pomni personality was show.

[spoiler's ahead]

JAX is the asshole I always knew he would be, and the way he left on the funeral was all I was waiting for, he is trying to be hated so when his funeral is no one will miss him OMG! Also he just genocide a town full of npc bro detonate the nuke in fallout 3 I'm sure of it.

GANGLE is so funny to laugh at her misadventures, poor girl she just can't take a win if her life depends on it, I want her to be happy, but overall nice to see more of her.

KINGER i love him, i love him, I [#$ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ!%] love him, he is the most wise/oblivious character I know, I love he is still there inside his head he still remember sometimes.

ZOOBLE yeah I get why they didn't want to go to the adventure, they was the most shock about Kaufmo abstraction that they stay to prepare everything I love them so much, they really care for the other's.

CAINE ... I guess he really is a ruthless IA without consideration about humans feelings, he doesn't even try to comprehend them and just do. I gonna miss Gummigoo.

NOW MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OF THE EPISODE.

POMNI I love how she managed to give Gummigoo some sense to his existence, she really doesn't want to feel like nothing and don't want anyone else to feel like that, and the funeral bring her some calm to not feel herself like nothing.

RAGATHA she really is my favorite for a reason, she really wants Pomni to enjoy at least her new existence, she is such a good ragdolly. And I'm glad she is a girl kisser lmao.

GUMMIGOO my god, this guy go beyond everything I ever had in mind is going to be the episode, I was so sure Jax was going to be the depress one in the episode, well this guy left me speechless, I hope he comes back in a future episode and his character arc go to the garbage.

HONORABLE MENTION'S

LOOLILALU she was there in the beginning and in the end, Rip.

FUDGE He is a chaotic evil monster.

BUBBLE YOU CAN NOT SAY THAT!

THE LAD'S they are a funny duo.

KAUFMO rip you magnificent clown.

[worksby-d]

Pairing: dilf!Andy Barber x babysitter!Reader

Summary: Andy offers to drive you to a halloween party after babysitting for him, but you get distracted before you can get there.

Warnings: Age gap (Reader is in her 20s), Andy’s imaginary younger kid that I made up to make the plot work, car sex, blowjob, fingering, creampie, 18+

Word count: ~2,000

a/n: Changed this prompt to be for Andy at the last minute because I miss him soooo much 😣💕 I’m sorry to the Ari girlies. I’ll make it up to you, I promise 🫶

Part Two

. * ✦ . ◍ ∘ . * ✦ ‧ ∘ ⊹

Skipping down the steps, you're in your own world as you quickly gather your jacket and shove the rest of your clothes into your bag, heading toward the kitchen to wait patiently for Andy and Jacob to get home.

Andy had texted you earlier today, asking a last minute favor of you to watch his youngest daughter while he and Jacob had a father-son evening. It wasn't like the Barbers to have not asked weeks in advance, but they're like a second family to you at this point, so you couldn't say no. But you do have plans to get to once those two are finally back.

Sending Andy a quick text, politely asking for an ETA since he wasn't sure before, you jump hearing his phone ding from just a couple feet away.

“Never mind,” you chuckle, walking into the room and seeing them both standing there already. “Sorry, I didn't hear you guys come in.”

“That's alright,” he laughs. If you aren't mistaken, you swear he does a double take after his eyes land on you. And you kind of hope that’s the case for a different reason, but he's probably just trying to decipher your costume. “We just got back. Figured you were putting the princess to bed, but maybe you were playing dress up..?”

“Oh, no,” you giggle. You know he's joking as he gestures to your outfit – a white skirt, white cropped tank top with thigh high tights, white heels, and a halo on your head to match. “I have a Halloween party to get to, so I was getting ready since she fell asleep early.”

“I didn't know you had plans tonight, I'm sorry–”

“No, it's okay.” You can’t let him apologize. He didn't force you to say yes. “I'm always happy to help out. I have a friend coming to pick me up though, so I'm just gonna hang out a while longer if that’s okay. This is kind of out of their way.”

“Well… Tell them they're off the hook.” Your confusion must be evident. “I can give you a ride,” he explains. “Yeah, Jacob’s here now, so I can leave for a bit, no problem.”

“You don't have to–”

“It's the least I can do.”

. * ✦ . ◍ ∘ . * ✦ ‧ ∘ ⊹

It's a quiet ride at first. You spend the first couple minutes trying to come up with some small talk. You've always talked to his wife more than you have to him, so you're not coming up with much.

As if he can read your mind, he takes it upon himself to break the silence.

“Laurie and I separated.”

Is this his idea of small talk?

You have kind of been wondering though since it was Andy who contacted you for once and since she wasn't at the house when you got there. Plus, you wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but you noticed his missing wedding ring.

“Just felt like I owed you an explanation for the last minute need for a babysitter today. It's my weekend with the kids, but I didn't want to let Jake down, so…”

Glancing at him beside you, there's a sadness in his eyes–very clear as they're lit up under each street light you pass–and you wish there was something you could do for him.

You're not sure what to say honestly. Your initial reaction is scoffing an astonished, “her loss,” but you figure that's probably the wrong thing.

“Oh…” You let your solemn tone fill the quiet for a second. “I'm sorry to hear that.”

You don't leave it at that though, instead punctuating your words with a daring hand resting on his leg.

His heart races the same as yours at the contact – But while yours does so out of nerves awaiting his reaction, his is a result of not having felt such a gentle touch in so long.

As your touch lingers, he has to resist his impulse to drop a hand from the wheel and take yours in his.

For fear of misreading your movement, he just grips the steering wheel tighter, trying his best to not dwell on what’s probably nothing.

You watch as he shifts slightly in his seat, gauging his reaction to your subtle advance. When he doesn't pull completely away or ask what you're doing, you assume you're in the clear.

Seeing how far he'll let you go, you slowly move your hand higher up his leg, gently brushing your fingers along his inner thigh.

He's trying to keep his composure, but you hear the hitch in his breathing as your touch gets closer to where he's secretly wishing it would go.

In an instant, he’s slowing the car down, and you smirk to yourself as he veers to pull over on the side of the road.

It's a dark one, nearly silent save the rustling of what's left for leaves on the trees as a few gusts of wind blow by.

He lets out a deep sigh when you take your hand away from him, finally looking toward you to search for any signs that he's gotten the wrong idea. But you're unbuckling your seat belt and leaning over to undo his too.

“You look so sad,” you whisper. “I can make you feel better.”

Your eyes meet his as you move closer to him–as close as the center console separating you will allow anyway.

“Yeah?” His voice is low as he watches you kneel on your seat, putting a hand back on his leg to hold yourself up.

“Uh-huh,” you hum, putting an end to his anticipation as your hand slides over the crotch of his jeans, palming against his cock. “If it's okay with you…”

His head falls back against his seat, a groan escaping his lips, when your fingers work to undo his belt and move his pants out of the way, ghosting over his hard dick.

“Go ahead and show me, pretty girl.”

He moves his seat farther back so you can comfortably take up the space between himself and the wheel. You can't contain yourself, eagerly replacing your hand with your mouth, taking as much of him as you can before softly gagging.

“Oh, fuck.” A breath gets caught in his throat. One of his hands gathers any hair from falling on your face, while the other rests on your upper back to keep you down. “You're good at that.”

Lifting your head, you let out a small laugh before sinking your mouth back down on him. Hearing him pant above you, you can't help but squeeze your thighs together in attempt of some sort of relief, no room to slip your own hand between your legs.

Andy catches on though, his leather seat squeaking each time you squirm. His hand on your back glides down to your ass, finding that your skirt is conveniently short enough to just flip up and pull your thong aside.

Deft fingers expertly find your clit, already slick from your dripping arousal.

He tsks, “All this just from sucking my cock, babygirl?”

Your whimper quickly turns into a moan as he pushes a finger into your sopping pussy, legs already trembling from the sudden intrusion.

“You're a sensitive one,” he chuckles.

You have to come up for air for a second, resting your cheek against his body while your hand takes over, slowly stroking his hard cock.

“Andy–” Your voice trails off, all words forgotten as he continues thrusting a second finger into you.

“Keep going, angel. I've got you.”

Taking him back in your mouth, nothing but lewd noises fill the car. An involuntary thrust of his hips makes you gag again.

With tears threatening to spill from your eyes, you have to push off of him for a breath again. And as tempting as it is for him to fill your pretty mouth, he doesn't force you back down this time.

He pulls his hand from between your legs, eliciting a whine from you as he kindly smoothes your skirt back into place.

You have to sit up slowly, but once you're steady, you swiftly clamber into his lap, straddling your legs on either side of his.

“Woah, eager,” he teases, putting his hands on your hips to support you. He has to reach up to remove the halo from your head though so it doesn't get ruined pressed against the roof of the car. “I usually take my time with people I like.”

Attempting to ignore the heat that flushes across your face following his words, you let out a shy laugh. He can't help but notice how breathtaking you look – the glittery makeup on your eyelids and cheeks reflecting the bright moonlight peeking into the dark vehicle.

“My friends will wonder where I am.”

“So…” He smirks. “Another time then?”

“Another time,” you nod, breathless again as you lift up and begin sinking down on his cock.

“Shit–”

“Andy–”

You sigh in unison.

Feeling a breeze across your damp forehead, you’re reminded of the windows you kept cracked for air. You drop your face to his neck to muffle your moans, afraid of being too loud.

It doesn't take long for you both to teeter on the edge of your highs after working each other up. He can feel your legs quivering against his own as you continue to ride him.

“Can feel you're close,” he grunts, gripping your hips to help you move.

You cry out, quickly grazing your teeth against his neck to quiet yourself as he fucks you deeper, clit bumping against his pelvis each time you come down.

“Fuck, sweetheart. Give it to me. I wanna feel you cum.”

He's got you in the palm of his hand at this point, you'd do anything for him. Your orgasm washes over you as an intense heat flooding your body. It leaves you trembling in his arms, biting down where his neck meets his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming his name.

“That’s it,” he breathes, working you through it as he chases his own release now. “Good girl. ‘m right there with you. Gonna leave you full of me for the–for the rest of the night.” He stumbles over his words. “No one will suspect a thing from the girl dressed like an a–angel.”

“Please,” you choke out, wanting, needing, to feel him. “Andy–”

Your pleas are cut off by a low growl in your ear and his arms tightening around you to keep you still as his cock twitches, release spilling deep inside you.

Letting out a shuddering breath, your body goes lax against him. The rise and fall of his chest as he works to steady his breathing is the only thing you can feel for a few moments.

“You with me, Y/N?” He chuckles, albeit still a little out of breath, as he checks on you.

“I think so,” you laugh and let out a sigh before finally lifting yourself off of him.

You instantly feel his cum dripping out of you, but he's a man who sticks to his word–quick to push it back in with two fingers before adjusting your panties back into place.

Your cheeks burn and you avert your eyes from his, whimpering at the obscene act. But your eyes fall on his neck, littered with evident bite marks outlined by your shimmery lip gloss.

“There's glitter everywhere,” you giggle, bringing your thumb up to try to wipe some off of his skin and his t-shirt. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, don't worry about it.” He shrugs, but tries to get some that's misplaced off your face too though. “Let's get you to that party, sweetheart.”

. * ✦ . ◍ ∘ . * ✦ ‧ ∘ ⊹

Tag list: @chris-butt @patzammit @denisemarieangelina @thummbelina @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc @princess-evans-addict @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @la-cey @turtoix @katiew1973 @harrysthiccthighss @tvckerlance @bluemusickid @rocketrhap3000 @mrspeacem1nusone @murdcox @geminievans1 @doozywoozy @americasass91 @dwights-new-plague @wwwmarissa92 @redhairedfeistynerd @whxre4cevans @aubreeskailynn @white-wolf1940 @melchills-j @xoxabs88xox @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @before-we-get-started @chrissquares @christowhore @ice-dtae @mariestark @justile @rogersbarber @dilfbarber @livstilinski @payperhearts @vintagestarlight @gitasor @chaeycunty @miss-ariella @bemysugarbean @t-stark35 @seitmai @reginaphalange2403 @raelorns21

[armoricaroyalty]

For some reason, when she kissed him, he thought of Theo.

Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next

Transcript under the cut.

WOMAN 1 | ...for real, I've been like, completely obsessed. WOMAN 1 | Like, there was hardly any wedding coverage for Jacques and Vivi, right? And that was my first royal wedding! I thought it was normal! I didn't know I was missing out. WOMAN 2 | Right? It feels like everyone's been saving up all their hype. WOMAN 1 | Has anyone else been following the dress rumors? WOMAN 2 | [ sighs ] I just hope Emily's dress isn't as boring as Vivi's was. WOMAN 2 | Vivi's whole wardrobe is boring! She dresses like a toddler, it is so unflattering. WOMAN 1 | I know, right? She should ask Lady Em to take her shopping. WOMAN 3 | Lady Emily is soooo gorgeous. WOMAN 2 | She's too good for him. He's always been such a scrub. WOMAN 1 | Whatever! I'm just glad it's a real love story, not just a shotgun wedding. An office romance... [ dreamy sigh ] Like, it could have been me! THEO | [ scoffs ] [ The conversation died immediately, and the silence solidified into something like hostility. Theo turned to see five pale, contemptuous faces fixed on her back, and her heart jumped up into her throat. Fighting to keep her expression neutral and her voice even, she stood and announced to no one that she was going to lunch. They pretended not to hear her. ] WOMAN 1 | ...she is such a stuck-up b-word. WOMAN 2 | Did you know that she used to date Prince Frederick? WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. Her? WOMAN 2 | Yeah. That's how she got hired here after she got disbarred or whatever. WOMAN 3 | Yeah. And her mom dated the King before he married the Queen. WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. She's a second-generation royal girlfriend? Gross. WOMAN 2 | D'you think her daughter will actually land a prince? WOMAN 3 | Why not? [ giggles ] Third time's the charm! [ Even in the warmer months, the gardens at Yew Court Palace stood empty. In February, the fountains were dry and the ivy dormant. Fat crows stirred in the bare branches overhead. Somewhere nearby, muffled by hedges, came the low hum of passing traffic. ] [ It was a food place to be alone. ]

THEO: I am going to kill myself or my coworkers, havent decided yet FREDDY: Nooooo dont do that FREDDY: Id have noone to text if you were dead THEO: Aw, no friends? FREDDY: Nope :( THEO: Pobrecito FREDDY: O baby. Talk dirty to me THEO: Lmao THEO: For real though THEO: Gonna kill my coworkers THEO: Or myself FREDDY: What did they do this time THEO: They are just openly talking shit about me now THEO: IN FRONT OF ME FREDDY: Wtf???????? FREDDY: Want me to have them fired lol THEO: I can fight my own battles tyvm FREDDY: Whats your battle plan? Stapler in jello? Sign them up for boner pill emails? THEO: Find a new job and leave them here to choke on their own incompetence FREDDY: Love when you talk about choking :heart_eyes: THEO: LMAO perv FREDDY: Cant help myself lol FREDDY: Anyway…sorry about your terrible job. Mine kinda sucks rn too THEO: Isn’t your job rn wedding planning?? FREDDY: But it’s not it’s actually mediating between my mom and Emily THEO: Do they not get along? FREDDY: No they get along fine but it’s like. FREDDY: My mom clearly has Ideas (tm) about how the wedding should be and em clearly wants something completely diferent and it is just constant FREDDY: Theyre killing meeeeeee THEO: That sucks. Are you at least getting your own ideas in too? FREDDY: Not really…altho tbf if i was getting my way it’d be like. Courthouse wedding. In and out. THEO: My parents got married at city hall FREDDY: Dreams really do come true THEO: They sure do THEO: Okay this is going to sound weird but...I felt like the wedding plans didn’t really seem like you THEO: if that makes sense? THEO: Like I get that you're a prince but a huge formal wedding isn't your vibe at alllll FREDDY: You know me…my kind of party involves a lot more helicopters and blow THEO: LMAO I thought there was just the one helicopter FREDDY: See this is why we’re friends lol FREDDY: You keep me honest

[ soft knocking ] EMILY | Frederick? Are you okay in there? FREDERICK | [ muffled ] Be right out! EMILY | Are you alright? You were gone a while... FREDERICK | Aw, did you miss me? EMILY | Just making sure you didn't fall in.

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

Untitled Buck/Tommy angst

For @kinardevan 'cause they sent out a general request for angst and I like hurting people with my words...er...I mean, writing angst is fun!

Pairing: Buck/Tommy

Werewolf!AU

CW: could be read as MCD, though the ending is ambiguous and we all know the 118 pulls off miracles all the time. Soooo, interpret as you choose.

t wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

The thought echoed uselessly in his head, circling and circling. Like if he just thought it hard enough, God or the universe or something would hear him, and agree. And this would not be happening. Not like this. Not like this.

He checked his phone for the hundredth, the thousandth, the millionth time, still cursing to himself when a signal had not magically appeared. Closing his eyes, he hit the call button on his radio, opening the channel.

“Mayday, mayday, mayday, this is Firefighter Kinard, 217. I am trapped on the south side of the Stewart Street building collapse, at least at the sub-basement level. Firefighter Buckley, 118, is with me with severe injuries. Need immediate medevac. Does anyone copy? Mayday, mayday, mayday, this is Firefighter Kinard, 217, does anyone copy?”

Static.

Nothing but static.

“They're not–gonna hear you. Gotta be…forty…feet of debris…signal won't get through.”

Carefully, so, so carefully, Tommy shuffled closer to the figure sprawled inelegantly in a half-sitting position against a slab of what used to be part of a subterranean parking garage ceiling. Evan's head came to rest on his shoulder, and he pressed his lips against his boyfriend's bloodied forehead. His skin was icy cold, pale as a ghost in the dim glow of their emergency lights.

As far as he could tell, Evan had escaped any spinal injuries or broken bones. But none of that mattered. Not when there was six inches of twisted, jagged steel protruding from his boyfriend’s abdomen.

He couldn’t even tell what it had been originally–a support beam, or part of the internal structure of the wall…it didn’t matter. Evan had landed on it or been impaled in the fall, despite Tommy’s best efforts, and even if help arrived soon...

He shut that thought off before it could come to its conclusion.

He’d stabilized the piece of steel as best he could, ripping his undershirt into shreds to pack the wound in a desperate effort to keep Evan from bleeding out before they were found. People were coming for them. Even if everyone else gave up on them as a lost cause, Tommy knew the 118 wouldn’t abandon Evan. Wouldn’t abandon him, either. They were coming, he just had to keep Evan alive until then. He just had to keep Evan alive.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

“How you holding up?” he asked, ignoring Evan's–very, very correct–assessment of the likelihood his radio signal was going through. He pressed two fingers beneath Evan's chin, finding his pulse and counting the fast, thready beats silently.

“Been…better,” Evan mumbled. “Finally get to work…together on the ground…and it ends like…this.”

“Probably should’ve expected something to go wrong,” Tommy said, aiming for humor and missing by about three nautical miles. “But hey, now you and Chim can have matching rebar scars.”

“Matching…parking garage stories…w’th Hen too,” Evan replied, his head growing heavier against Tommy's shoulder, his eyes fluttering alarmingly.

“No,” Tommy said firmly, shifting his hand to cup his boyfriend's cheek. “No, none of that. You know the drill, babe. Stay awake.”

“Trying,” Evan whispered, pushing into Tommy's touch like he always did. “What…’bout you? How bad…are you hurt?”

Evan had already asked him that. A couple times, now. Swallowing down the panic that was trying to claw its way through the iron control he'd developed long before he was a soldier or a first responder, he answered anyway.

“I'm fine. Bumps and bruises. I’ll be fine, I'm just worried about you.”

“Liar,” Evan sighed, reaching up weakly to tangle their fingers together.

Tommy was not lying, was the thing. Not technically. He had felt something shatter inside when the floor he and Evan had been trying to clear collapsed beneath them, plunging them two or three sublevels into the basement parking amid a hale of debris. Several somethings, actually. He’d had no time to try and categorize his injuries, too busy frantically wrapping himself around Evan, trying to cushion his fall, trying to protect him, to take as much of the damage as he could.

Evan was strong. Evan was tough. But Evan was so painfully, perfectly human. He couldn’t take the damage Tommy could.

He’d broken and splintered and shattered on the way down, had slammed his head hard enough upon the final impact that even with his helmet, even with all the strength his nature afforded, he’d lost consciousness. He had no idea how long he was down, but it couldn’t have been very long–he’d had bones still knitting back together when he woke up, cuts and lacerations on his exposed skin that hadn’t quite closed.

He’d have taken worse–a hundred, a thousand, a million times worse–as long as Evan was all right.

He’d done his best. He’d done his fucking best.

“How’s the pain?” he asked, resisting the urge to check his phone for a non-existent signal again. Evan swallowed roughly, his fingers twitching in Tommy’s grasp. “Evan?”

“Kinda…fading,” Evan admitted after a long moment, his voice so quiet that even with his enhanced senses, Tommy could barely hear him.

Tommy’s stomach dropped, though he didn’t let any of his fear show on his face. He didn’t need to–he and Evan both knew what it meant when a wound this bad stopped hurting. “Okay. Okay, sweetheart, you just hang on. Hang on for me, okay?”

Evan tried to smile at him, a small dribble of blood spilling from the corner of his mouth. It was all Tommy could do not to start howling, his other self clawing, lunging, demanding to be let out, to so something.

To do the only thing that might keep Evan here, keep Evan with him…keep Evan alive.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

His mother had always warned him to be honest with his partners. The instant he started thinking he could see a future with them, it was best to be honest. To reveal himself for what he was and let them decide if it was too much.

He’d known he wanted to share his other self with Evan only a few months in. Wanted to share everything with Evan, for as long as Evan would let him. He’d been startled by the intensity of his wanting, the strength of it. He’d had partners he considered telling his secret to, before. Had actually gone through with it, once.

Only once. The relationship hadn’t survived the reveal.

Maybe that was why he’d been holding back, even as Evan became more and more entrenched in his life, in his heart. He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted Evan. Never loved anyone the way he loved Evan. He didn’t think he could bear it if he revealed his other self, and those beautiful, beautiful blue eyes filled with fear. If the same words that had poured out of Maddox’s mouth left Evan’s lips.

And yet, he’d known he would have to do it. They were moving in together next month, as soon as Evan’s lease ended. Evan had given him everything, offered up every part of himself with no shame, no inhibition, no regrets. He wanted forever with this man. He wanted it so badly it was like a permanent ache in his heart. But how could he ask for forever when he hadn’t given Evan everything, every part of himself in return?

He’d resolved to tell Evan everything. He’d just been waiting for the right time, waiting for their schedules to line up for some time off so Evan would have time to process, waiting, waiting, waiting.

He’d waited too long.

He hit his radio call switch again, gently wrapping his arm around Evan’s shoulders. “Mayday, mayday, mayday, this is Firefighter Kinard, 217, does anyone copy? I am in need of immediate medevac for an impalement injury on the south side of the Stewart Street building collapse. Does anyone fucking copy?”

Static.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

“Gonna be…hours, babe,” Evan said, his voice breathy and hoarse now, another dribble of blood leaking from his lips. “Even if they’re…already digging.”

He was right.

The truth Tommy had been refusing to acknowledge smacked him full in the face, damn near stealing his breath, ice blooming up and down his spine. Even if, even if rescue operations were already in full swing, even if the 118 had any idea they were still alive, even if they’d pinpointed their location and were going full tilt trying to dig them out…it would be hours before help got here.

Evan didn’t have hours.

“Love you,” his boyfriend–his partner, his lover, his fucking everything--murmured, his grip on Tommy’s hand growing weaker. “Never…thought I’d…get this.”

“Shut up,” Tommy said, a growl slipping into his voice as his other self railed against the weakness in Evan’s voice. “Don’t you fucking dare start saying goodbye to me.”

Infuriatingly, Evan just tipped his head forward, resting in the crook of Tommy’s neck with a barely-there smile. “Tommy. I’ve got…like a foot of steel…through my guts and it doesn’t hurt. Just…keep holding…me.”

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Tommy was supposed to ease his boyfriend into it…into the idea that there were other people than humans in the world, that there was a whole world out there that Evan had never seen or interacted with. It was supposed to be slow and gentle, giving Evan plenty of time to process, to consider. And then…and then later…later, when they were sure they both wanted the same things, wanted the future that Tommy craved so badly…when Evan had had time to really think about it. To get to know Tommy’s other self, to become comfortable with it. To decide for himself if he wanted to step into this other world with Tommy. Become a part of it. Become like Tommy.

In his deepest, most private dreams and fantasies, he imagined them going away together somewhere–the mountains maybe, or the beach–where they could have privacy for a few days. He imagined candlelight and roses and music, every romantic cliche he could fathom. Imagined making love slow and sweet, worshiping Evan’s body before tenderly taking his wrist in hand. He’d change just a bit, let his other self out enough for his eyes to glow a rich gold and his teeth to lengthen to fangs. In his dreams, Evan’s breath always caught, his scent growing richer with lust and desire, loving every part of Tommy just the way Tommy loved every part of him. He’d stare into the eyes of the man he loved as he bit down, kiss the bloodied bite apologetically as Evan gasped and shuddered, hold him tightly as the change worked through his body, as Evan’s other self was born out of their love.

It was not supposed to happen like this.

“Evan…do you trust me?” he asked, a leaden sort of dread settling in his gut. This–this was unfair. It was so unfair. Evan was in no condition to make such a life-altering decision for himself. Christ, he didn’t even know what Tommy was. Had no idea that things like werewolves weren’t just stories and legends. And it was dangerous to try and change someone who was this severely injured. The bite was only ever given to people who were mentally prepared for the change, who were healthy and strong and ready.

But God help him, he couldn’t lose Evan. Not here. Not now. Not like this.

“...’course,” Evan sighed, and Tommy almost wanted to cry at the simple conviction in Evan’s voice.

Please, he prayed, not even sure who he was praying to. Please let it be enough.

Evan was strong. He was so strong, one of the strongest people Tommy had ever met, in every way possible. He had to be strong enough to survive what Tommy was about to do.

Because he would surely die if Tommy did nothing.

“I’m going to get you out of this, baby,” he said, carding his fingers through Evan’s hair, clumped with sweat, grime, and blood. He kissed his boyfriend’s forehead, his cheek, his bloodied lips. “You’re not dying here. I love you.”

Then he shifted, let his other self come to the surface enough for his teeth to lengthen, for his eyes to shine with unnatural light in a twisted mirror image of his treasured dreams.

It couldn’t be Evan’s wrist–too small a wound, too far from the heart. With the blood Evan had already lost, with shock setting in hard, the bite would have to take fast to have a chance. The throat. It had to be the throat.

“Trust me,” he said again, asking, pleading, begging as he tilted Evan’s head back, the weight of it already so loose and limp. Evan was slipping away from him.

“Huh…wha’?” Evan gasped, blood bubbling from his lips, frothy, scarlet bubbles, his breath rattling in his chest.

Tommy bit down.

Squeezed his eyes shut as the man he loved more than anything in the world screamed in pain, the sound of it weak and ragged, dying, Evan was dying and he bit down harder, pierced skin and muscle and felt more blood spill into his mouth.

Please let it be enough

He held Evan still when he convulsed in Tommy’s arms, desperately trying to keep him from dislodging any part of the steel bar through his abdomen. Not yet, not yet–Tommy would have to get it out of him when he started changing, but he couldn’t risk pulling it yet, Evan would bleed out in seconds.

He pulled his teeth from Evan’s neck with a ragged cry, pressed his forehead to Evan’s as his boyfriend shook and shuddered. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he gasped. “It’s all right, it’ll be all right. I’ve got you, I love you, I’ve got you. Just hold on, baby, it’ll be fast.”

Evan’s mouth fell open, his breath coming in short, rattling pants. His fist closed weakly on Tommy’s shoulder, spasming as his whole body seized. Tommy searched Evan’s face frantically, looking for the first signs of the change taking place, waiting for the familiar gold light to start to eclipse the blue of his eyes, waiting for his breathing to become steadier, his pulse to become stronger. The full change would take hours, but the first effects should be enough, should start to heal Evan’s wounds. He just had to be ready to pull out the steel at just the right moment.

“I’m here, I’ve got you,” he promised over and over. “Don’t be scared, please don’t be scared…it’s the only way. I love you, I love you so much–I couldn’t let you die.” The words escaped him in a torrent, a flood, and all the while he scanned Evan’s face for the first signs of the change.

They didn’t come.

Two minutes.

Five minutes.

Ten.

Evan’s shudders grew weaker and slower, until he slumped against Tommy, his chest barely rising and falling, his pulse a weak, fluttering thing against Tommy’s fingers when he pressed them against Evan’s neck, slick with blood from the ragged bite. Before Tommy’s horrified eyes, the skin around the bite grew inflamed, streaks of scarlet spreading out from it, crawling up and down Evan’s neck to disappear under his turnouts.

“No…no, no, no, no, baby, don’t do this. Hold on, please hold on!”

It didn’t always work right away, Tommy told himself, clutching Evan to him, barely resisting the urge to shake him back to wakefulness. There was still time. Evan was so hurt, it was just taking longer. That had to be it. Had to be it. Sure, his mother had told him that sometimes the bite didn’t take, that a person just couldn’t handle it, that sometimes a bite could turn bad…but that couldn’t be happening. God, please that couldn’t be happening. Evan was strong enough. He had to be.

“Please, Evan. Please don’t do this. Come on, baby, come on! Stay with me–just a little longer, just hang on a little longer. Stay. Stay! Stay, damn it!”

He clawed at his radio again. “Mayday, mayday, FUCKING MAYDAY! Anyone! Anyone copy?!”

Static.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

[jeankirsteinsgirl]

hii you're doing requests?? how about hc/drabbles or whatever about cowboy Jean? 💕💕

of course love!

Cowboy Jean HCs

CW: cowboy jean, country coded, fem reader, slight nsfw, drunk sex, mention of alcohol, MDNI!!

A/N: this will hopefully be the first of many requests i answer because i’m a lot less busy now so i will be answering as many requests as possible!!

- So he acts all tough right

- but he’s down bad for you

- King of wearing jeans allll the time kinda annoying like does he have any other clothes??

- super hot when he’s all dirty from working all day and he’s all sweaty 🤭🤭

- STRONG from working all the time around the farm, can lift super heavy, has super strong hands and arms and don’t get me started on his back muscles

- takes his shirt off when it gets too hot outside for him to be in his flannel and he’s ripped ugh

- Super charming it’s annoying always calling saying “yes ma’am” “baby” “darling”

- never misses the chance to compliment you “looking good in those shorts gorgeous. Put ‘em on just for me?”

- Somehow smells good even though he’s dirty all the time. smells like tobacco and vanilla

- smokes all the time even though you told him it’s bad for him but you can’t lie it’s hot when he takes long drags while staring at you

- such pretty eyes omg. they’re such a contrast from his tough manly cowboy aesthetic

- such pretty brown doe eyes and long lashes that just stare into your soul and the way he looks at you omg

- always insists on picking you up even when you have a car and can drive yourself

- picks you up in his old rusty pick up truck that he got from his dad that’s super loud you can hear it pulling up from a mile away

- keeps his hand on your thigh the whole time he’s driving and rubs little circles into your thigh subconsciously bc he loves touching you

- chivalrous king

- opens every door for you and motions with his hand while he watches you walk through

- refers to you as “his girl” when talking about you to anyone

- loves when you wear his clothes, he thinks it’s so cute watching you walk around in his flannels

- loves when you give his clothes back because they smell like you

- gets flirted with all the time unfortunately. all the girls in your hometown have a huge crush on jean and we’re so mad when he got with you

- but he constantly reassures you you are the only one he wants and he would never even consider being with anyone else

- acts all cocky and confident but is secretly so obsessed with you and would do anything for you

- pays for everything ofc he’s a gentleman and gets upset of you offer to pay bc only pussies let their girls pay for things

- his breath smells soooo good and he tastes good too bc he’s always chewing gum or drinking whiskey

- secretly so romantic and that side of him comes out when you’re hooking up

- would kiss every inch of your body to show how much he loves you and that he thinks you’re the most beautiful person alive

- constant praise and compliments “how you’re so fucking perfect” “my pretty girl” “such a good girl for me aren’t you?”

-still a little cocky in the bedroom bc he’s good and he knows it

- you can feel his muscles flexing under your fingers while you scratch your nails into his back

- biggest dick you’ve ever seen lmao

- a good 7-8 inches but it’s thick

- focuses on your pleasure first ofc

- makes you cum multiple times until he’s satisfied

- stretches you out with his fingers to prepare you for his cock bc he wants you to be able to take all of him

- god his fingers are long and rough with callouses and he hits every spot perfectly he knows exactly how to make you cum for him

- “that’s it baby, does that feel good huh? You gonna cum for me already?” while he kisses all down your body

- drunk sex constantly bc he def likes going to the bar and drinking on his porch

- wants you to sit on his lap while he’s drinking on the porch and gets all pouty and upset of you say no :(

- puts his arm around you anytime you walk around any other guys bc he’s sooooo possessive and needs them to know that you’re his

- make out sessions all the time

- would be like “cmon baby just give me a little kiss” then has you moaning into his mouth for him with his hands all over you

- was super cocky before you were dating, he knew you had a huge crush on him and would use that to his full advantage

- would tease you as much as possible, taking his shirt off in front of you on purpose, running his fingers through his hair, rolling his tongue in his cheek while staring at you, looking you up and down constantly

- heavy sleeper lol and accidentally rolls on top of you all the time

- loves cuddling you and borderline smothering you in his arms