#and its awful bc ive seen her make some of my friends uncomfortable and is entirely unapologetic about it

[prestonmonterey]

ughhhh someone kill me i think i might like stay on the third floor today i actually cant deal with her today

[salted-caramel-tea]

What are your thoughts about?

I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .

actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.

im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .

im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.

who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering

on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.

what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them

but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .

the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.

I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .

im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.

people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .

[skizmin]

minghao!soulmate au

prompt: if someone touches you, your soulmate feels warm where you’ve been touched and can sense how you feel about the contact (uncomfortable, calm etc;)

genre: fluff soooo much fluff, soulmates!au, very very brief and vague ment of sexual harassment its tiny pls dont be put off, college!au

a/n: hey minghao, i miss you, please rest lots and become healthy for seventeens next comeback!!

okay so

throughout your younger years youve never really paid much attention to your soulmate, ofc your parents told you when you were about four that the weird warm things you were feeling was your “one true love that you’ll meet later” and whatnot

i mean of course youd chuckle sometimes when your cheeks got all warm and an annoyed feeling fleetingly passed through you knowing your soulmate must be being coddled by one of his aunts or smth 

but other than that

you just went on with your life

it wasnt until you were sixteen did you start paying more attention to it

sometimes youd get a bit worried when youd feel a warm spot on your arm and a surge of slight anger in your heart but it was always quickly replaced by happiness

you knew it was his friends hitting him by then so you just chilled tf

even when you felt your ass became VERY warm, you felt the same anger/happiness flow through your body so you just shook the fact that your soulmates ass just got BEAt off and continued what you were doing. 

youll have junhui to thank for that later

so by the time you were going into university you had become very aware of the fact that your soulmate was barely ever getting hugs anymore

and you just :^((( poor bby

and an idea popped into your head like !!!

my soulmate feels warm when i get hugged akdfksjla

instantly you were like IM GONNA HUG EVERYONE!!!!! EVEN IF ITS AWKWARD

so like, first day on campus housing grounds you found your dorm house and with that your RA housemate

she was cool and you where like hhhhhhh

i barely know you but

i have this duty of care for my soulmate so im just gonna

and you hugged her rly big and you felt uncomfortable at first but also so proud of yourself like wow

get you a girl like me ;^))

anyway your housemate is like “oooooookay, this is your room here and its just us and three others who’re already here”

youre awkwardly like cool okay see u later

amd ur blushing rly hard but hey at least you did it

anyway fast forward a couple weeks and youre like hugging all your new friends everytime you see them and theyre like wow shes clingy but they still luv you

and youre!!

so!!

comfortable!!

abt doing it now like “hey hugs????? hugs are my shit.” ya feel?

cut over to minghao whos going to the same university as you with junhui

they both moved from china and minghao misses his fam so much :^(((

particuarly his mums hugs which he got all the time and sometimes he thought it was annoying but now hes like hhhh

MUM BRING ME BACK

minghaos mum was also rly open about haos soulmate and loved hearing about her

like one day hao came home (age 18???) fuming bc he felt his chest get warm in class and then his butt and a really strong feeling of fear and uncomfort and disgust filled him and he immediately knew what happened but he didnt feel anything else after that and he was so glad but still and his mum was like hao that happens to girls :^((( im sorry your soulmate must feel awful rn 

and hao felt sick in his stomach and he was like “im gonna kill anyone that does that to my soulmate again mum !!!!!!!!

and his mum was so proud

anyway hes almost fluent in korean by now and luckily junhui is good at making friends and found some that speak madarin and korean too so!!

their new friend jackson and some others are constantly with hao and hui being like “no that means square, this is how you say suspense” n shit

and hao learnt rly easily!! so did hui!! anyway

lately hao has been feeling his soulmate hug a lot of people lately and hed be rly happy except hes sorta 

“is my soulmate dating someone rn?? :^((” 

and hed remind himself you can date whoever you want before you meet him 

but hed still be all emo bc he wants love too and he misses his family and hes in a foreign country and hes failing one of his subjects bc how is he supposed to know all the non latin korean terms for all the flowers and plants they get pop quizzes on

and he just wants to hurry up and meet you bc hes all 

“everythings gonna be fine when i meet my soulmate!!!!!! theyre gonna make everything perfect for me!!!!!”

like, hao sweetie

calm down

but he’d be so determined like legit whenever junhui was with him and they were around people he’d be like JUNHUI TOUCH MY ARM

and he’d look around frantically for someone being like “tf my arm is warm gosh dang wonder what my soulmates up to lol” but he’d be a bit disappointed every time.

anyway tho so jackson invites him and junhui to his friend jaes party after teaching them all the korean slang shit

legit hes like

“guys. i think youre ready for your first party”

junhui nearly cries

little does he know youre??? invited to the same one by your housemate jimin (jyp gang here we go)

anyway you go to the party and are determined like legit hugging everyone you meet and jimins next to you like

im rly sorry about her dont ask

and minghaos in the kitchen like!!!! wth my soulmate keeps hugging people junhui smh smh 

he’s slightly buzzed and hella jealous

anyway he goes to the loungeroom for a sec to find his friend sicheng who just messaged that he was here 

and wow best luck ever you walk up to junhui and jae and meet them both!! youre all 

JAEE THANKS FOR HAVING THIS PARTY IM Y/N and you give him the biggest hug and then you turn to junhui whos all

hi im junhui

and smiling awkwardly and youre like

NICE TO MEET YOU!!!!!

and give him an even bigger hug than you gave jae and jae and jimin are watching you like wtf and junhuis like awkwardly patting your back and IN COMES MINGHAO WHOS GETTING SICHENG A DRINK

hes like jeSuS chRiSt how many time does she have to hug her s/o in the span of an hour!!!!!!!!

and he feels random extra warmth spurt on his back and hes like what sort bf/gf pats their s/os back lmao and then he seens you hugging junhui and he like

pauses for a second 

then hes like haha gtta be a coincidence that i can see a georgeous random stranger hugging my best friend in the same way i can feel my soulmate hugging someone rn

amd junui sees hao and a wave of relief passes over him and he grabs your shoulders and pushes you away like

MINGHAO HEY!!

and you turn around as junhuis like “this is y/n, friend of a friend of jacksons ad jaes”

and minghaos like HOLY SHIT I FELT THAT MY SHOULDERS JUST GREW WARM

and then you meet eyes with the most goRGEOUS boy youve ever seen like HOW can someone look like that

and as soon as you meet eyes your body just gets soWARM and your heart like

fuckin swells and shit

and youre like ohmygodohmygod whats happening

and hes looking at you with the widest eyes ever and everyones like “wow they must find each other pretty hot theyre just staring at each other”

and suddenly minghao grabs sichengs hand and just places it on his chest and sichengs like wtf no homo

and you feel warmth on your chest and a surge of shock, excitement and hopefulness rush through your blood but the first thing you say is

WTF YOU PERV as youre grabbing your chest and junhui finally catches on and walks up and pokes you in the stomach and you yelp and minghao just touches the warm spot on his stomach and smiles SO wide

he legit runs up to you like OHMYGOD YOURE MY SOULMATE TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IVE DREAMT OF MEETING YOU MY WHOLE LIFE 

and he goes to hug you but stops himself

by now everyones gone to give you some privacy 

and youre like wot!!!!! hug me!!!!!!

but he just says “dont you have a partner?? im not doing anything with you until you and them break up” he ain no homewrecker sweeties no cheating in this household

and youre just like

????????? what ?????????

“youre always hugging your partner!! its hard not t notice, youre so proud after too :^(((”

and you start laughing

hes just pouting at you like whattttttttttttt

you say in between laughs

im hugging people for you!!! you havent been getting hugs lately, and i like it when you get hugs i love the feeling so i thought id hug a bunch of people so you could feel warm anf fuzzy inside!!!

he looks at you like,,,,,, oh,,,,,,

and then he swoops you into the biggest bear hug ever and you feel warm and fuzzy except its not the same. it feels so

so real??????

you almost start crying and then he pulls away looking teary eyed too

“y/n was it??? im minghao. and im looking forward to hugging you and being with you for the rest of my life.”

youve never smiled wider as you jumped into him and gave him your first kiss while thinking of how great your future was gonna be.

fin.

hope yall liked that shit!!!!!!

[beebosbitchh]

All the odd numbered gay asks!!

wow ur really going for it (thank you ha)

// edit: im like 2-3 questions in and im just now thinking that this wasnt the best idea since ive only ever dated 2 people //

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

  probably just hanging out together, like cooking/baking something and watching a movie together etc. social environments can be overwhelming/tiring

2. whats your “type”

me: //describes claire

3. do you want kids? 

atm,, no

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

if i did, itd probably be through adoption 

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

uhhh probably the one when me n claire kissed for the first time or when we went to the science center or the history museum just last weekend,, idk claire is cute she makes it hard to pick just one

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?) 

n/a

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

wannabe morning, but truly a night time gay

8. opinion on nap dates? 

PERFECT! all i wanna do

9. opinion on brown eyes? 

so good. honestly all eyes are 10/10

10. dog gay or cat gay? 

dog probably but my cat qualifies as a dog so whats the truth

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles? 

heck yes??? i actually really like rats?? and snakes?? like idk theyre cool af… plus claire has turtles!

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

shoot idk,, probably along the line of morals bc im bad at reading personalities beforehand?? does that make sense

13. what is a misconception you had about lgbt people before you realized you were one?

 i think growing up w gay aunts helped me be less ignorant before i realized who i was for myself… i think it was hard for me to get stereotypes out of my mind? not like “oh theyre ____ bc they ___” but more “they’re ____? but they dont seem _____”

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

youre questioning yourself for a reason. labels arent everything, take your time.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders? 

n/a 

16. who is an ex you regret? 

my only ex…?

17. night club gay or cafe gay? 

cafe

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for 

dallon. fucking. weekes. have you seen that man? beautiful

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

movie gay def

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

currently garent bc its so pure n cute

21. favourite gay((/lgbt+)) youtuber

dodie clark, connor franta 

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

nope ive never asked any one out tbh

23. have you ever been in love? 

yes

24. have you ever been heartbroken? 

y es

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

ok idk how to describe this feeling but i feel like this story is relevant,, a week ago my friend was talking to me about a guy and he showed me a picture of him and i honestly dont remember his face at all like i could not pick this guy out of a crowd bc i was more focused on the HUGE DOG LAYING ON HIS LAP like you guys,, it was such a big dog,  o m g. but yeah like i look at guys but i dont see them bc i dont care lol. but gorls?? i get anxious asl if one even looks at me let alone talks to me soo

26. favourite lgbt musician/band

does brendon urie count?? also st vincent. both dont perfer labels… haley kikoyo, troye sivan

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

take your time. labels can be comforting but restrictive. do your research, be a part of the community even if its just as an ally. dont be afraid to experiment! be w a guy, be w a girl, do what you think will help you know what you do and dont like. the hardest part and coming out to yourself.

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

hahhahahhahaaa…. i didnt really come out on my own terms.. i think my friends mom said something to both of my parents lmao! but i didnt specifically say something to her so its kinda my fault ig… my dad just asked me if i was and i was at the point where i was comfortable and there would be no point in lying. my mom is a different story that im not about to think to much into. i was really really sad and didnt want to talk to her in the first place but she tried to comfort me and then outed me out of nowhere?? literally one of my lowest points it was so awful and embarrassing i felt like i couldnt breathe i was so sad and mad and she wouldnt leave me alone. 

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

mom

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

i hate this so much bc what really can you do… personally, stay safe. keep your head down if you have to… its really awful that you have to be cautious in the first place. but dont sacrifice who you are. push the boundaries when you can do so safely. stay strong and see a future where we dont have to be scared ((this is probably really bad advice but i dont know extreme situations… for me its mostly school and certain places in public))

[theskyexists]

i am watching professor marston and the wonder women and im just like cringing a bit because....?

i think it’s rebecca hall’s accent, it’s clearly not quite british enough to my ears? i mean it makes sense for her character if she’s stayed in america so long but it sounds so OFF to me

that was REALLY mean of Elisabeth to say that to Olive!!!

Olive’s actress is very good!

i like Elisabeth’s little rap on the teacup haha

oh man. what the fuck. lol. oh this is so cringe to me. WHAT THE FUCK I CAN’T

i hate this freudian kind of shit hdsfsadkfja

i am skipping through this sorority spanking scene it’s sooo uncomfortable like. this does not come across as ‘a bit of fun’ in any way like olive does not seem down for it, the girl doesnt seem down for it, the atmosphere is GRIM

i have to keep pausing it holy shit. the music starts to swell. WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHERE IS THIS GOING TO GO.

I am very prejudiced against peer pressure bullshit can ya tell. i won’t like this turning into some sexual awakening or whatever the fuck

IT IS TURNING INTO THAT BUT AT LEAST THE ATMOSPHERE ISN’T PRESENTED AS SO FUCKING UNEASY AND GRIM

ok well im ignoring that bit

elisabeth is so mean!!!!! but it doesn’t make her unlikeable

i also mostly disagree with marston’s theory but whatever haha

oh lolllll the dramatic effect

elisabeth don’t be shitty about getting the answer to a question YOU asked. pls. dont do the sexual jealousy bit.

elisabeth don’t be a shit! poor olive!!!! NOOOOOO!!! Elisabeth is so SHITTY

this doesn’t quite make her unlikeable but she is being AWFUL to olive and i hate it. she’s been awful to Olive very often except for that time she defended her against her husband

Elisabeth is such a shithead and she needs to be called out on her psychologist bullshit excuses

I want Olive to make her pay for hurting her!!!!

‘fuck you’ YEAAAA

Elisabeth did a MASTERFUL de-escalation there. i feel exactly the same as Olive, full of misgivings, somehow mollified by her giving up her bullshit, seduced by the idea of being around them again with a nice ol friend label.

I am such a prude haha. also damn i dont believe lie detectors work at allll

Elisabeth, so shitty because she doesnt even consider other people’s feelings, but that is her big strength too...

professor marston’s cute almost smiling face is v cute. the way he looks at them is so CUTE AND WONDERFUL

wow that was the best sex scene ive probably seen in ages. maybe EVAR.

tasteful, symbolic, saying something, cute, clearly enjoyed by all parties involved, good kisses, great lighting, comfortable space.

haha their dynamics are incredible

AWWW sweet family life

LOVED Olive dressing herself up and that MOMENT when she’s backlit by the very sun it seems is incredible.

very glad the tying up scene cut out most watchers with its direction or they would have squicked me out again in a scene that’s supposed to be electric.

love how Olive and Elisabeth keep swinging around Bill into each other as two extremes. I LOVE THIS POLY DYNAMIC

oh he really fucked up there lol. wonder woman’s gonna be BANned, but she’ll have a GREAT film finally in 2017

oh god surely they’re not going to be found out....like??? i hate getting caught while having sex bullshit

WHO THE FUCK WALKS INTO SOMEBODY ELSE’S HOUSE???

oh my goddddd I HATE THIS.

i dont want to watch this but if i don’t i’ll miss like an important part

lollllllll.

god i forget how people are such small-minded awful maggots. anyway stigma sucks

that was awful. would i have stood back and said: no! or would i have jumped the dude attacking my goddamn lover?

ohhhh Elisabeth always loves to lash out with her own hurtful feelings about the world. Wow, actually Elisabeth is a DAMN coward though she wouldn’t feel it that way

Elisabeth better fucking SUFFER. next shot. she suffers immediately. where is that picture of that man shooting somebody on the bed and then saying ‘why would the world do this?’. that’s Elisabeth

like who has the PATIENCE to deal with that shit holy shit what a fucking flaw

like. she done this TWICE NOW. (1. surely this not historical. (i kno none of it is ) 2. damn elisabeth you’d rip two kids away from their home instead of like, four. you could just have MOVED. bc surely you didn’t just get accepted back into the neighbourhood JUST PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO START OVER. and stop externalising your bad feels

wat? they’re gonna have him die when the family is still  estranged???

he’s not dead!!! ELISABETH APOLOGISE FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE!!!!

WAT. he’s still not bettter??? NO. HE CAN’T DIE??!?!

HE’S NOT DEAD YAYYYY!!!!!!!!

HE’S DYING?!?!?!

that speech to Elisabeth YES I LOVE YOU BILL. WOW!!!!

WHAT.

that was really touching (good acting!) when Elisabeth asked to be forgiven.and NOW Olive won’t and i am just like lkJflkdjslfjalkdjf FAIR BUT PLEASE

and then Bill comes in with his stupid psych babble lkajdlkaj

BUT HE WAS RIGHT. holy shit he was fucking right

that was a beatiful end and also sad because death fucking brings me to tears