#and its decent don’t get me wrong it’s just that you gotta post add your spices cause there’s nothing but salt and pepper half the time

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

Best thing about cooking for yourself is you can make it as spicy as you want to without having to worry someone’s gonna go “AHHHH MY TONGUE ITS TOO SPICY” just cause you added some paprika or chipotle powder or cinnamon

[fairestwriting]

title: think about it tomorrow

word count: 2629

summary: Even after that difficult day of work, Ruggie had one more task he needed to complete, one that he didn’t expect would end with him just coming home.

this fic post is a lil different from my usual ones but! i did a trade with @nicoliharu​ !! and heres my part of it uvu

Savanaclaw’s lounge has an eerie glow at night, blue irradiating from the pool in the center that people say looked uncanny when it was empty, like now. That, or visitors would find it pretty.

Ruggie himself didn’t care much. Usually, when he had work at the Lounge, he’d come back to that, and it was more familiar than anything. Without the other students around, it was more like the only thing welcoming him back “home”, so there’s a vague comfort there. He always gives it a bit of a stare before walking to his room.

Sometimes he sits there and thinks over the silence. Makes calculations in his mind about how much money he was sending back home, how much he needed for himself. Thinks about exam dates and those extravagant events Azul made him and the other employees suffer through. Leona’s errands, Crowley’s tasks, windows to be cleaned, letters to answer.

He doesn’t have time for that tonight. Ruggie’s heading straight back to his room, Agatha should be coming over soon, after all, he promised he’d help her out with Animal Languages.

Yeah, it seems sort of insane to accept requests like these when he was having such a busy week, he knows. It’s not like he doesn’t have the spine to decline them, or something, just… well. Agatha is Agatha. She’s not like anyone else in that school.

Agatha was the only girl, for one, and also, one of Ruggie’s close friends. A couple sparks had been rushing between them lately, which made him so much more excited than he should be, but he was grateful for the friendship itself. In his two years of being a NRC student, he never really found someone who had a presence that… healing. Agatha was understanding and kind, the sort of person that compels you to wind down just by being there.

(Really, how rare was someone like that in Night Raven College?)

So he had a crush he was comfortable with. Nothing wrong with that, right? And nothing wrong with wanting to see her after waiting all these damn tables either.

He opens the door to his room and wobbles inside with a sigh. But, man, he was exhausted. He hoped it wouldn’t show through too much when she got there. It wasn’t necessarily that late, just… he hadn’t caught a damn break today. He wonders if there’s time to rest his eyes for a bit before she gets there—

“Ruggie?” He perks up at the voice he hears outside. “Are you in there?”

And there she is! He feels inclined to smile. One very much needed spark of energy runs through him.

“Yeah, yeah, just a second!” He responds, first moving to turn on the lights, which he hadn’t done yet, then to open the door. Agatha greets him with one of her usual smiles. “You ready to work?”

“Ah, well.” She laughs, a bit awkwardly. “I’ll be doing my best. I hope it’s not too much of a bother or anything!”

Really, how could she ever be?

“Nah, not at all.” He says, allowing her inside before the door is closed. It makes a bit of a heavy noise when he shuts it. “If it’s Animal Languages, then I’m your guy! And, I always have time for you, shishishi.”

Agatha gives him a small chuckle. “You’re too good to me.”

“It’s just what you deserve, y’know!”

She sits on his bed while he’s picking up the papers he’d put together earlier on his desk. Drowsiness creeps in, but he knows how to push that aside well enough. He needed to do his best now. Just not let all that exhaustion show through so he could lend Agatha a hand! Then, then he could sleep…

Sleep sounds nice, doesn’t it? His brain tempts him, but he blinks multiple times, and hopes that good enough to stave off the feeling.

“So, what part did you have trouble with?” He asks, sitting next to Agatha, opening the textbook over his lap. The logical part of his brain wishes he had more than one chair in his room, so they could sit by the desk. The less logical part is just happy to be here.

“Mmh, it was with these...sentences Mr. Trein asked us to translate, I think? I couldn’t really get the difference between these two noises… I think it’s in chapter 7, hold on.”

She gets the book from Ruggie’s lap, bringing it closer to herself. He lets his eyes linger on her a little while she’s flipping through pages, shiny amber eyes narrowed at the words.

A silly smile appears on his face. Ruggie feels like a lucky guy, which he guesses it’s sort of odd, they’re not even dating or anything like that. And this was supposed to be him doing her a favor. Technically, he doesn’t gain anything from this, and yet…

Agatha’s hair is this nice red-like color that stands out while it flows over her shoulder. Ruggie doesn’t know the exact word for the color, maybe it was burgundy? Garnet? That doesn’t matter. The point is she’s just… beautiful. Eye-catching besides that pleasant aura that melted all his worries away. She’s there, so it’s like everything will be okay. Ruggie lets out a small laugh, in a way, this looks just like a dream—

“Ruggie.” Her voice calls for him, firmer than its usual airy tone. He blinks, a stronger haze settling over his mind. So he dozed off. Huh. “...are you okay? I think you just fell asleep for a bit.”

“I’m good!” Ruggie chirps almost immediately. Her brows furrow in worry. “Just dozed off for a bit. Uh.” He laughs awkwardly. “What were you trying to show me?”

Agatha stares intently, concerned expression intensifying on her face.

“Ruggie…” She begins again, head tilting a bit towards him. “I don’t think you should be studying right now. You should’ve told me you were tired.”

“Hey, I’m good, though!” He argues, but there’s no bite to it, really, he couldn’t add that in even if he tried. Agatha sighs, shaking her head. “We can keep going.”

“I’m not letting you study like this. Come on, you should get some rest.” She moves to close the textbook, but he grabs at it first, reflexes slowed down or not. “Ruggie.” She says, in a gently scolding tone.

“It’s fine, I told you.” He tries to argue again. It looks like she wouldn’t buy that at all, and, well… “Didn’t you need help? It won’t even take too long, I can just…”

“No. That’s final.” Agatha states, cheeks puffing slightly. “You’re so stubborn. Just rest a little, okay? We can study tomorrow.” She huffs, hand placed on the top of his head in a pat — That turns into something like light petting that sends a weird, fuzzy feeling across Ruggie. “Come on. You can lean on me if you wanna.”

Ruggie crosses his arms, but she looks at him all invitingly, with that warm expression on her face. And his resolve dwindles…

Ah. Ruggie isn’t really a strong man when it comes to things like that, is he?

“...what kinda leaning are we talking about?” He asks, a bit of a smile on his face. Well, maybe this wasn’t bad either.

Agatha chuckles. “You can lay on my lap or on my shoulder, what you’d like. As long as you take a little break, you stubborn hyena.”

Yeah, it’s not bad at all.

“Then I’m on it, shishi.” He can’t help but grin a little. “You said I could do it, so.”

He pushes the book off Agatha’s lap — Hey, it’s an opportunity, he’s not just gonna miss that — and moves to lean his head on her thighs, sighing when they touch. Agatha does a bit of a small, barely noticeable jump like she wasn’t expecting him to take that offer, but in just a second, her smile widens, still soft and warm. Ruggie smiles back at her.

“That’s the only way I can get you to rest, huh?” Agatha sighs, leaning back for a bit. “You’re such a workaholic.”

Ruggie doesn’t say much of anything. He begins to feel drowsy already, but… really, when he’s like this, how could he really sleep? He can feel his heartbeat quicken, the room filled with a silence that’s both comfortable and comforting.

Agatha’s hand makes its way into the mess that was his hair, Ruggie feels himself perk up — and then immediately begin to relax, feeling how the tips of her fingers begin to run along it, untangling knots and gently scratching against his scalp, then the back of his ears—

Ah. The tension in his body starts melting away, pressing his face against Agatha’s thigh some more. Damn it, that felt nice. If he had to die like that, he really doesn’t mind. He feels all fuzzy inside, the humming that begins to leave Agatha sounds faraway, even.

He sighs.

His thoughts get muddled… was he that much of a workaholic, he begins to wonder. It felt so natural to just fill every second of his day with those part-time jobs. He didn’t hate it at all, he’d come to every location with a smile, ready to tackle the day, but maybe he pushed himself a little too hard sometimes.

It’d be nice if he could come back to something like this everyday. Ruggie found his dorm room decently homey, but… with Agatha there, it’s a whole different story. Maybe she’s just spoiling him like this — He leans against her hand as she scratches the back of his ears once more, knowing they’ve gotten a bit twitchy — but whether he’d admit that out loud one day or not, he just really likes it. He feels floaty, fuzzy…

“Hey.” He half opens his eyes, Agatha’s gentle smile is the first thing he sees, warming his heart. Something straight out of a dream. “Y’know what, I really like you.”

Her posture straightens in shock.

“Eh?” She blinks, and only now, Ruggie notices what came out of his mouth.

“Uh. I mean.” Oh. Oops, he giggles awkwardly. That hadn’t been how he thought he’d tell her about it, but… gotta make the best out of what you have, huh? Whether that went well or not… “Is that weird? If you don’t feel the same we can just drop it. But I’m telling you the truth. You’re just… special. I feel really comfortable with you, and all.”

He feels his face warm up, and he’s still laying there — These are kind of embarrassing things to say, aren’t they? But it’s her, and it’s true — Agatha is undeniably flustered, maybe they shared the slight red tint to their faces now. Ah, it’s weird. He feels anxiety threaten to pull him under for the first time in a while—

“I… I do too. A lot. M-Maybe too much.” And she stutters, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she looks away in this rare sort of shyness. “S-So, it’s not weird at all!”

Ruggie’s heart skips a beat.

“Cool. Okay.” The words processing in his mind, repeating over and over like they hadn’t registered yet, echoing. His face felt impossibly hot, his self control running low. “...can I kiss you?”

Agatha blinks, still wide eyed, and a smile appears on her lips, she fiddles with her hair again, brushing it off her shoulder. “I… yeah.”

All of this, it’s so… Ruggie has a tough time wrapping his head around it all, but he’s not going to argue a reality like this at all. Sparkling with excitement, he gets up, sitting next to Agatha again, and they exchange a look for a moment as he smiles, foreheads touching.

Ruggie feels like he doesn’t even know how to begin, like she’s his very first kiss. Tentative hands cup Agatha’s cheeks, and in the peak of his enthusiasm, they just go for it, so close to being at the same time — And their lips meet.

He feels euphoric, almost every bit of exhaustion forgotten when he feels Agatha’s smile against his, small breathy laughs bubbling up and leaving them before the kiss deepens and Agatha pushes back against him too.

They’re not really thinking about it at all, and maybe that’s how Ruggie prefers it. Agatha is warm when she presses closer to him, her arms wrapping around him, and he continues to hold her face in his hands even as they pull away to breathe for a moment, seeing her smile.

“You’re so cute.” She says in between slightly harsher breaths. “Ruggie…”

And he thinks of the time he’s thought about something like this happening, none of his fantasies ever really went like this — There was always some sort of struggle, a larger pause after he tells Agatha about his feelings even when he thought of victorious scenarios. Even when he had her with him in the end.

He wonders when they kiss again, should anything have the right to feel so easy?

She tastes vaguely like lipstick, something cherry-like and similar to what he’d associate to the color of her hair, with a hint of sweetness. Her arms around him pull him closer with surprising strength, he feels her heartbeat on his when their chests touch.

And Ruggie’s not good at keeping his hands to himself— He notices he’d been hungry, wanting something like this for too long, and even though the world feels too dreamlike, blurry from exhaustion and still a bit of denial, he lets his hands wander. He touches her arm first, but it doesn’t linger there, going down her sides and ending up on her hips, wondering if he could let them wander further, maybe over her thighs—

“Ahaha, s-sorry, I’m just really happy.” They pull away, breathing heavily, and Agatha is giggling, her smile turning the dim room into the sun itself. Ruggie can’t help but share the expression. “I never thought… this really feels like a dream.”

“Yeah.” Ruggie agrees. “What do we… are we doing anything else, or?”

His face feels hotter upon saying the words. He sounds lame, but—

“I don’t know.” She says with a sigh, but it’s content. Their foreheads touch, bodies still too close to each other, and too happy to be where they are. “I’m just happy we’re here.”

“Mm, me too.”

There’s one more kiss, although a brief one. Agatha’s hand is on his hair, idly running fingers through strands, even after they part again.

“You still look so tired.” She points out, voice gentle. “Don’t you wanna call it a day?”

Ruggie has to sigh. Well…

“Maybe.” He admits, finally, even though he doesn’t want to be away from her at all now. “But I’m gonna miss you if you leave.” It’s a playful complaint, even though he means it. Agatha chuckles a bit.

“I can stay with you, then.” She says with a rare sort of decisiveness. “Someone’s gotta take care of you if you’re not gonna do it yourself.” She pouts, pulling him a bit closer.

His eyes threaten to flutter shut like this.

“If it’s you, then.” He murmurs, laughing quietly. “Guess it’s alright.”

Agatha gives him one more kiss, a small affectionate peck on his lips.

“Good. Let’s think about everything else tomorrow, okay?”

Then it goes by easily. He sighs, releasing tension with his exhale, and Agatha holds out her arms for him with an inviting smile.

They lay down, not really bothering to turn off the lights just yet. Ruggie makes himself at home there, back of his head on her chest, an arm pulling him closer while she continues to pet him, warm and dreamlike.

And they think about it tomorrow.

[crusherthedoctor]

Crusher Elaborations #1: Thoughts on the Aesthetic of Sonic’s World

If someone came up to me and asked “Which do you prefer, Classic Sonic or Modern Sonic?”, my answer would start off with “Well, technically Classic Sonic because...”, and then I'd get cut off by the other person immediately lecturing me on why I'm wrong and why I'm the worst kind of fan imaginable. Should they finish their rant, I would then explain to them in the midst of them basking in their flock of easy Twitter likes that I didn't necessarily mean it in the way they predicted.

If we were talking about the games, the characters, or the character design, I'd be fairly neutral, since I like both halves equally for the most part. In fact, when it comes to characters, Modern might actually have the edge believe it or not, since the sheer number of characters introduced from SA1 onwards naturally means a lot of my favourites were introduced from that point on, such as Tikal, Rouge, Gamma, Omega, Blaze... But then again, Classic introduced Eggman and Tails, and the Hard-Boiled Heavies are technically Classic as well despite being relatively new...

Anyway, the point is, I'm not talking about any of that today. I'm talking about the world that Sonic and his multicolored chums live in. Or rather, the aesthetic of it.

NOTE: This is purely about the game universe. While I do have my thoughts on Sonic’s world as presented in other continuities, that won’t be the focus here.

If you're familiar with my blog, you'll know that as a general rule of thumb, I much prefer colorful and creative worlds in my Sonic universe, and that rings true for my reasoning here. And I know what you're gonna say: “But Crusher, isn't there plenty of that in the Modern games as well?” Yes, there is, and I appreciate them very much. But this is why I feel the need to make a post of this sort to begin with, because I'm NOT saying “Classic cool, Modern boring” and calling it a day. There's a little more nuance to my tastes here.

When I say I prefer the Classic aesthetic for Sonic's world, I don't mean it in the literal sense of disregarding everything about the Modern aesthetic. Let's put it like this: when you're asked to paint a picture of these two sides of Sonic's universe in your head, a specific image will likely come to mind. When you think of Classic, you'll probably think of Green Hill first and foremost, whereas with Modern, you'll probably think of something like City Escape or Rooftop Run before anything else. In other words, when you think Modern Sonic, you're probably imagining the more realistic kind of locations first. And between the two mental images that come to mind, I personally prefer the Classic image. Shock, horror.

I wish I could swim in a sea that’s probably radioactive.

Now keep in mind, I'm not saying that City Escape, Rooftop Run, and all similar environments in the series look bad, because they don't. Unless they're painted with the '06 brush, they generally look fine, and the locations in Unleashed in particular are undeniably beautiful from an graphical standpoint. The problem is that although I can picture this as a world that Sonic could be in, I can't necessarily picture it as Sonic's world specifically. Because when it comes to the more realistic environments, I feel there's not much of an attempt to let it branch out as its own thing.

I know that might seem harsh, especially for Unleashed, since the real world angle was the deliberate theme of that game. And Sonic taking cues from real places is a fine concept, there's no issue there. I'm not gonna complain if there's a France Zone with an Eiffel Tower in the background. In fact, Sandopolis Act 1 has one of my favourite aesthetics in a Classic zone (mainly because the background is really pleasant to look at), and that zone is essentially Egypt Zone. But if you're making a Real World Zone, there needs to be more to it than that, otherwise you don't truly get a Sonic interpretation of our world... you instead have our world as it is with Sonic characters awkwardly stapled on.

When I look at City Escape, it may not be completely unfitting for Sonic (the posters and billboards in particular are actually a really nice touch), but when I look at it, I don't see Sonic's interpretation of San Francisco. I see San Francisco with Sonic shoved in. When they morph these places to Sonic's liking, they'll add rings, loops... and that's it. They rarely take the concept any further, which is a huge shame, particularly in the case of Rooftop Run, where I otherwise do like its visuals a lot, but it just doesn't go far enough with the concept for my liking.

At least you get to murder car owners, and give G.U.N. a legitimate reason to arrest you.

So which Modern games do I feel did the best job at making Sonic's world... er, Sonic's world? Well the truth is, most of them actually do a decent job in this area, regardless of the level design quality or the game’s quality period. SA2 has Pumpkin Hill, Eggman's Pyramid Base, and... SOME levels aboard the A.R.K (mainly the “outside” ones, like Final Rush). Shadow the Hedgehog, a game that reveled in how brown and gritty it was, still had highlights like Circus Park and Digital Circuit. Even '06 of all games had Aquatic Base, which was pretty cool from a conceptual standpoint. And although Unleashed as a whole might be a touch too vanilla in the creativity scale, it still had the glorious Eggmanland at the very end. But if I had to say which of the Modern installments did the best job overall...

- For starters, I'm gonna give a shoutout to SA1, because even though it was the first Modern game, and thus it was technically responsible for the more focused angle of realism in Sonic's world in the first place, it didn't take it quite as far as later games would, and although it may not be a perfect 1-to-1 representation of the world we saw in the Classic games, it does well enough with what it brings to the table that I can still accept it without any issue at all. Some of that has to do with the fact that you still have wilder areas like Windy Valley and Red Mountain to balance things out, but even with the other half, the game's use of colour is enough for it to go a long way, oddly enough. Take the At Dawn section of Speed Highway for instance:

From innocent times, when the radar wasn’t a piece of shit.

Technically, it's really not that different to the urban environments you see in SA2 or Unleashed. But something about the sleepy morning approach gives it a subtle, almost dream-like edge to it that I really dig, and despite it being pretty similar to the likes of City Escape, somehow I have an easier time buying into the idea of this place being part of the same world as zones like Sky Sanctuary.

And seeing how I already mentioned Red Mountain, let me compare it to Flame Core:

Yes, I know bringing '06 into this discussion at all is inherently and hilariously unfair, but let's put aside the game that Flame Core comes from for a moment. Aside from maybe the purple crystal caves indoors (and that's assuming you can even see where the fuck you're going in there), Flame Core is pretty boring to look at as far as Sonic levels go. Red Mountain is vastly more interesting, even though it's basically the exact same concept, and a lot of that has to do with - you guessed it - colour. Sure, it's day time, that's one thing, but you'll also notice that for a lava/mountain stage, it surprisingly has a few grassier sections, sort of like Hill Top in that regard. A little bit of green among the brown and red, and a great contrast to the volcanic nightmare you'll experience when you head inside.

Now this might seem like a fairly minor detail... and yeah, it is, but the thing that SA1 does so well is that it combines so many of those small details to make a complete, well-rounded package. This is why SA1 meshes well with the Classic style despite not being an exact replica, because just as the Classics excelled at, it wasn't afraid to use colour in interesting ways. It understood that a fire level could have more than just red and orange, in the same way that a grassy level could have more than just green and blue.

But of course, as I mentioned, SA1 is not an exception. There are other Modern games that did a great job on the whole...

- Heroes is an obvious answer, since it's translation of Genesis-style environments to 3D is probably one of the most recurring praises the game receives, and rightly so. Not much to say here, except that Hang Castle is still cool as hell.

And plenty of opportunity to admire the not-broken-in-half moon.

- Colours is another obvious one, though something of an ironic one given that the premise of the game involved going to other worlds, and those worlds were all converted against their will by Eggman. Yet, they did an equally superb job at creating fun, unique locales, and Aquarium Park in particular remains a favourite of mine.

Gotta love that red/blue contrast.

- The Riders series has a more futuristic bend compared to the rest of the series, but even when it's not all high-tech, it's got some pretty cool environments of its own, and I feel they even do well at mixing the real world side of things on top of that. Gigan Rocks comes to mind, as does Aquatic Capital.

Reminds me of when Perfect Chaos peacefully protested against Station Square.

- Regardless of my thoughts on the game itself, Secret Rings had some undeniable winners in this depertment. You tell me with a straight face that Night Palace doesn't look amazing.

A wonderful palace for a domestic abuser.

- And lastly, they might have had an early advantage since they're already 2D, but the Advance trilogy and Rush duology deserve a mention. They had some fantastic ideas for zones, like Planet Sonata Music Plant, and they did great with the colours as well. Hell, throughout these five games, the sky was practically every shade of the rainbow at one point or another.

Oh look, another completely whole moon.

Also, quick shoutout to another minor detail akin to the grassy sections of Red Mountain: these pink tunnel sections in Ice Mountain. No elaborate point to make here, just another perfect example of how much I adore these games' use of colour and contrast.

Seriously, I could go on for hours about good contrast.

Although I do bring up these small details for another reason, and in turn, another layer to my more nuanced take on Sonic aesthetics. By this point, we get the basic jist: Crusher likey when Sonic levels unique and pretty. But this can - and has - lead to a couple of misconceptions, so I'd like to address those and then laugh at them.

“So you want Sonic's world to be exactly like Mario?”

A common complaint that Lost World received was that it was too much like Mario, in more ways than one, and part of this was to do with the game's visual style. The zones may have been upbeat, but they often consisted of a bunch of things floating in the air and not much else, ala 2D Mario. While I didn't outright hate it, it’s definitely not what I have in mind for Sonic.

Of course, all complaints about being too much like Mario suddenly turn into praise when Eggette gets brought up...

And why is that? Because yes, I like my Sonic locations to be fun and lively... but I also want them to be firmly established within the context of this universe. The Lost World approach is fine with Special Stages and the sort, but outside of that... well, Studiopolis is a perfect example of what I'm talking about:

On one hand, it's very unique when compared to other cities in this franchise, and it's full of quirkiness, great use of colour, and all that good stuff I've went on about. But at the same time, it's grounded just enough so that it still feels like an actual city that the people of Sonic's world could feasibly live in, rather than a basic and empty video game level with a tacked on city background. Studiopolis may be a level from a video game, but you can totally believe it's a fully fleshed out place from its own perspective.

Naturally, this praise also rings true with the Modern games I listed earlier, and is yet another reason for why I approve of their settings.

“So you think Sonic can't have darker locations?”

It might be easy to take my compliments at face value, and assume that I'm immediately opposed to a zone that's not brightly colored. This is... very obviously false, as even the Classic games have their share of less-than-cheery areas, such as Scrap Brain and the Bad Futures in Sonic CD.

However, when you're making a grittier location in Sonic's world, regardless of the context, it still needs to be interesting. The problem with a lot of them in Modern installments is that they're boring. Crisis City is a generic city on fire. Westopolis is a generic city with aliens firing lasers from above. The prison levels in SA2 - and the indoor ARK levels not named Cannon's Core - are just grey hallways for the most part. That shit isn't exciting, and it doesn't get my mind speculating. It just makes me want to move on.

Let the eggsperts take care of this.

By contrast, Eggmanland is a prime example of how to do it right. Eggmanland is a magnificent theme park as envisioned by the good doctor, but it's also, at its core, a giant metal hellscape fueled by the energy of a dark entity, and it only gets more ominous the further you go through it or try to before you give up because it’s too fucking long and you died at the end. So it sets the mood to be sure, but it's still visually compelling to look at, and interesting to think about.

And since Eggman is apparently the only one who can show us how it's done, here's a shoutout to Titanic Monarch as well:

Like Heavy King, but Heavier and Kingier.

When comparing the final zones in Sonic games, I especially love this zone's visual approach, because it manages to be dark and colorful at the same time, and in a strangly organic way. It's got a spooky atmosphere, with a moody moonlight backdrop to match, and the titular robot is foreboding as hell as you climb up it and traverse through it... all the while having red floors, green and yellow wires, blue and pink buildings, and stained glass windows of Eggman and the Heavies for you to marvel at. So even putting aside the unique scenario of climbing up and then through a Kaiju-sized mech, the mood of the zone alone manages to be extremely memorable.

So what have we learned from all this? Aside from the fact that I’m way too interested in this subject? We now know that when I say I prefer the Classic “style” over Modern when it comes to the way that Sonic's world is presented:

- I don't mean that literally.

- There are certain qualities that although both of them possess, they tend to be more immediately associated with Classic in the collective consciousness, even within the fandom.

- The environments that I love the most in Modern games are often the ones that would also fit perfectly in the Classic style.

So whenever I express the basic nature of this opinion in the future... just imagine a small asterisk at the end of my sentence.

[devourer--of--books]

Callis was Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist and here’s why

Okay so, in this post we’ll be discussing topics such as sex, contraception, and some religion in the context of it being used as a mean to control people sexually. 

If you’re younger than 13, honestly, this post isn’t for you. 

If you’re unlucky, like me, and your school didn't give you proper sex ed, I beg you to ask someone about it. Your older sibling, your mom, someone, okay? Ask google. It’s important stuff you need to know.

First of all, for composure’s sake, let’s all pretend I didn’t start thinking of this due to me writing a smut fic. At 4am, on my tablet notes. On my defense, tho, there’s an astonishing lack of E-rated fics on this fandom and someone ought do it, okay? Moving on.

So, where shall we start?

Let’s get context out of the way, welcome to my analyses, the actual headcanons are here, I promise, let me just bore you to death first:

The SGE book series overall is set in fantasy fairytale land (The Endless Woods), with the exception of Gavaldon, aka, the reader village. Due to this, there’s not really a time period liking the SGE world to ours, neither can it be presumed by the world building, as Soman mixes traditional medieval elements  with modern elements, which I know bothers some of you too, it ain’t just me, but nevermind that right now.

The point is, the arguments I’m making on this post are based on aspects mentioned in the books, but I’m also going to draw some information from the real world.

A big chunk of the first two books rely on the world the existence of a patriarchal structure in that world, as do some plot points during the rest of the series, but if I were to dive into that we’d be here all night. Talking about the Endless Woods social structure is very complicated, specially with the ‘no labels in the woods’ stuff combined with the misogyny. It’s messy. 

Thankfully for this post, we’ll only go into Gavaldon, because I feel things there are more… explicit (pun intended).

So here’s what we know of Gavaldon’s social structure pre-book 1:

It’s a decent sized village with no official government. There’s no political figure of power, such as prince or a mayor, as they eventually get in QFG. There also doesn’t seem to be an actual economic class distinction between the people of Gavaldon, other than mentions of beggars (pretty sure it’s just one tho, but I might be wrong). Everyone works and trades amongst themselves, with people having more or less the same things (except for Callis and Agatha, due to them being social outcasts). 

Who has power in Gavaldon?

The Elders Council. They make the laws, they are respected, they have influence, and therefore they have power. These dudes stopped people from selling food to Stefan’s family during book 2, and threatened his new family in front of everybody during book 3. And everyone in Gavaldon loved that man. Why are they powerful tho?

Power is born out of inequality. If you have what we have not, we follow where you lead. Gavaldon has no nobles and no bourgeoisie. Geez, I wonder which powerful class we’re missing.

The clergy.

Personally, I hold no love for the church. I’m an atheist, but, as this post is about SGE and not religion, I’ll try to be as neutral as possible, as the point is not to offend or disrespect anyone. When I mention ‘religion’ or ‘clergy’ from this point on, I’m talking about religion as an Institution. As in the Medieval Catholic Church (which if you don’t agree was at least kind of very evil, I don’t know if I want you reading my posts anyway, so feel free to leave).

Most likely, the members of Elders Council of Galvadon were linked to its Church, whatever religion they may have. I can’t see any reason why they would have so much influence otherwise. Who appoints new men to the positions once one of them dies? I’m gonna guess the remaining members of the Council. 

And no one said anything? For centuries. Okay. Corruption? Never heard of her.

Also, burning unmarried women as a way to solve problems claiming they were witches? Wonder where I’ve seen this before.

The fact they’re men, should get mentioned too, just in case you forgot. I bet there are women just as old and wise, if not wiser than the members of the council. Hm, wow why they’re not part of the council.

This hypothesis ties in with the fact that the education given to the kids is limited to the local school, which, given the lack of government and simplicity of work relations, is probably funded by the clergy. We don’t see any proof of this, but again, if we’re comparing Galvadon to a medieval village, it would make sense.

What is even taught at this school? Math and whatever language they speak there, sure, but like they have little to no history that we know of, geography would be pointless, there are no foreign languages, science who, and with these clowns running the village I’ll bet there is no philosophy or social studies and... Doesn’t matter, let’s not do this right now.

Callis briefly mentioned that all girls in Galvadon must marry before the end of their school education, or they are deemed witches. The Elders Council even chooses the matches, in case those aren’t naturally formed or if they disagree with pre-existing ones. These kids are what,15,16, maybe younger?

(this makes me so mad, you have no idea-)

ANYWAY. They form these child marriages, for... look I’m gonna presume is because of population reposition. They need an average of 2 kids per couple or they’ll have more people dying than people being born. Let’s just presume it’s because of this because if it’s because of some tradition stuff I’ll scream, okay?

Maybe they have a low life expectancy in Gavaldon (which is another evidence for the case that the elders are part of the clergy, they probably don’t work, so they live longer). 

So have them teenage girls poping them babies, I guess.

Also, a miracle they have survived this long, because the genetic pool for Gavaldon must be the worst ever, everyone is related to everyone, ew. At least, in theory, there would be no STIs.

In theory.

Ahem… During the middle ages, all forms of birth control tended to be frowned upon, at least here on the west, including coitus interruptus (aka, pull out method), (tho it depends of who was the pope at the time, some of them were cool with this one if you already had too many kids and was like super poor), because sex was supposed to be about procreating, so a marriage with no kids was ‘pointless’. 

(hear me raging in the background, this context is stressing me out, i just wanna get to the headcanons-)

We can assume this view is probably compatible with the Elders Council mindset, as they are marrying CHILDREN. 

If there were any available contraceptive methods, you can bet they weren’t teaching this stuff at school. They probably have no sex ed, and if they do, it’s going to be just about periods and vague stuff. Gotta love them church schools (I never went to one, officially, but honestly, I live in Brazil, what even is Secular State).

(“Don’t have sex before marriage, you’re gonna get pregnant and die”, - one of the teachers at the Galvadon school at some point, I bet)

Let me also mention that there is an specific Gavaldon law that states that if a girl is pregnant she is going to marry the boy who knocked her up. Which, specially in Vanessa’s case, makes no f-ing sense. Could she prove it was Stefan’s? Did she sent it to a DNA lab? If Stefan was the Elders favorite why would they not take his word?

I digress, let’s say Stefan didn’t deny sleeping with her and only said he was under a spell, which, hm, how dumb do you have to be to do that, it’s lying 101, Stefan c’mon, but okay, you do you.

So they are probably super “moral” in Galvadon. You know, the kind of moral who just swipes stuff under the rug. Like, yeah, Stefan you’re now doomed to marrying Vanessa, but ain’t nobody gonna say a thing if you cheat on her as long as you don’t do it during plain daylight.

(The amount of closeted gays in Gavaldon is probably astronomical, can you imagine?)

And then you have Callis. Whom I think is probably responsible for the introduction of birth control in Gavaldon. We have arrived at the headcanons. Hear me out:

After Stefan saved Callis, she was deemed a witch. She’s a ‘witch’ doctor for the town. Only the most desperate of people seek her out. 

That means she normally wouldn’t get a lot of patients. Like, Idk about you, but Gavaldon doesn’t seem big enough for her to have people looking for her everyday. And she probably had to feed Agatha somehow.

But, while her being a doctor for normal diseases wasn’t really working all that well, everyone knew she had a hand in Vanessa’s miracle child. So ‘infertile’ women and women who had been getting sickly during pregnancies start looking for her, asking for her to help them. 

Callis obviously doesn’t use her magic, but as she can’t say she used magic for Vanessa, she gives them generally good advice about herbs and stuff they can add to their food to make it ‘more likely’, aka stuff that reduces stress, telling them how to eat better, stuff they should avoid, etc. She’s no big expert, but at least in the Endless Woods they had sex ed and she was witch, she just knows stuff.

So she becomes this sort of witch gynecologist for Gavaldon’s desperate women.

It works for a while, but then people eventually share these tips amongst themselves to avoid going to see her. Then, it’s back to slightly starving herself so baby Agatha could eat.

One day, a teenage girl arrives at her doorstep in the middle of the night, trading food for her help. If she could ‘make people more fertile’, she could surely make them miscarriage. Maybe this girl got pregnant by sleeping with someone the elders didn’t aprove for her to marry, maybe it was something else a bit darker, but we won’t talk about how that could be common, given you could literally force someone to marry you if they had your child.

Callis panics, because she wasn't ‘making anyone more fertile’ really, she was making them healthier and therefore more likely to have a healthy kid. If she were to tell her to do the reverse of what she told the others, not only it wouldn’t work, but it would actually harm the girl’s health.

At first she’s like, “I can’t help you…”, but then she hears baby Agatha crying, poor thing, so hungry all the time. So Callis decides, “you know what, might as well”.

There’s probably many potions made with magic one could take to not have a baby in the Woods. Even ones that cause abortions with no side effects or danger to the woman. But there also more natural ways, ones that maybe aren’t 100% effective, but would work, tho it had some side effects.

So Callis, makes her a potion to take. For real life comparisons, let’s say she used Queen Anne’s Lace, which works a bit like Plan B. The girl is thankful, and goes on her way.

Soon enough, everybody knows Callis can do these potions. You have girls sneaking to Graves Hill in the middle of the night to get help in exchange for food and while the elders know something is fishy, they can’t do much anything about it. They ask Callis what is up with that and she’s like ‘nope, just ya know, helping them have babies, plan b who’.

She tries to introduce a variation of the potion, one that acts as birth control, because it would stop people from being irresponsable all the time, but the Plan B one is the one every girl wants, because well, it’s easier. You can be unsafe and then take a potion and it’s fine. Soon, it’s not just girls. There’s full grown women there too, who should really know better.

She is pissed, so she says she won’t make them any more potions unless people stop being so careless.

Someone tries to make a knock-off potion, but it ends tragically, because people don’t really know what Callis puts in it. And well… you know what looks a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace?

F-ing Water Hemlock, that’s what.

After that incident, people listen to Callis when it came to ingesting stuff. And thus, birth control culture is born in Gavaldon. Other people started trying out other things to avoid dealing with Callis, like animal-based condoms, pull-out method and inserting acacia gum into your vagina before you had sex,but she had a good clientele overall.

The Elders? Pissed. But since they couldn’t just prove this was her fault, they just kept on hating on her from a distance.

After Agatha has her first period, Callis sits her down and pretty much gives her the talk. Agatha doesn’t really see a point to it, boys are gross, but she listens nonetheless. 

Callis gives Agatha the best sex ed homeclass ever, you can bet she will teach her correct anatomy, debunk myths the school told her about both periods and her own body and even promised her to teach her how to make the birth control potion once she got older.

Again Agatha doesn’t see a point, but okay.

When Agatha comes home with Tedros, years later tho. Callis is... worried.

She tries to ask Agatha if she’s being safe but her daughter just... stops functioning. Blushing like crazy. 

 (“We just kissed, like, once, mom.”)

That being said… Callis doesn’t live long enough to teach her how to make the potion.

So when Tedros and Agatha’s relationship starts to progress (hm… if you wanna read something about it, maybe wait a couple of days, I might or my might not have a sin fic in the works, it wouldn’t be one of my posts if it had no self-promotion, I’m my own sponsor after all) she’s unsure of who to ask about this.

And it makes her extra sad about her mother’s death, so that’s great.

I honestly don’t know who she would ask. If you have any ideas, please tell me. Because I’m kind of inclined to think that maybe Merlin might have predicted this and handed a recipe to her as a semi-joke, but idk. Maybe Uma?

But yes, Callis was totally Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist. And after they made Stefan mayor, I want people to remember her for the absolute legend she was, okay?

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 10 of it’s always ourselves we find is here!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 

[kristanna / m / modern au / coworkers & enemies to lovers ;) ]

Once again, he was woken up by a hand shaking his shoulder and Anna’s voice as she said, “Kris. Kristoff. Wake up, I need you.”

“Mmff...what?” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

“Remember how yesterday you said you owed me a favor?”

“Uh-huh.”

Through bleary eyes, he watched as she bit her lip, her eyes nervous. “I need to call it in.”

That got him waking up. He pushed himself up on an elbow with a wide yawn. “Okay, I’m up. What do you need me to do?”

Her face melted into a fond smile. “Nothing. I just need to borrow one of your shirts.”

“What for?”

“To wear.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s gonna fit you.”

“I’ll make it work. I have to. We’ve got that conference call with Harry today doing the dry run, remember? And I, um...I forgot my nice dress was bunched up in the bottom of my suitcase, and I just realized my shampoo leaked all over it, and--”

“Alright, alright, yeah, just grab one from the closet, no problem,” he said with another yawn. “But it’s really not gonna fit.”

A sigh of relief escaped her. “Thank you so much, seriously.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Quick as lightning, she leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek. “Go back to sleep, Kris, it’s not even half-past six.”

The only reply he could conjure up was a nod, hoping the room was still too dim for her to notice he was blushing. Mercifully, she only lingered long enough to squeeze his shoulder before darting towards the bathroom.

The next time he woke up, it was to the beep of his alarm at a quarter past seven. He sat up, swung his legs over the side, and stretched, his back cracking as he arched his arms over his head. Anna peered around the corner of the bathroom then, her hair falling in soft curls over her shoulder. “Morning, sleeping beauty,” she said cheerfully.

“Morning. How’s the shirt situation working out?”

“You tell me,” she said, a little shy, before stepping out so he could see her.

Fuck, he’d never been so glad to be wrong. The shirt didn’t fit the way it was supposed to; it hung loosely around her slender frame, the hem hitting a couple of inches above her knees and revealing the graceful line of her freckled legs. She’d pulled a cardigan on over it, hiding the way the seams had to be falling off her shoulders, and left the top buttons undone, showing off her collarbone and a delicate gold necklace that nestled there. Kristoff didn’t know a hell of a lot about fashion, but he did know that she looked like she’d walked right out of one of the giant posters he saw stuck up at the mall-- and that he’d be more than happy if she wore his clothes for the rest of her life.

“Is it that bad?” she asked timidly, and he realized he’d been gaping at her in silence for what was probably an embarrassingly long amount of time.

“Jesus, Anna,” he breathed, “you’re keeping that shirt, okay?”

Her cheeks colored at that, but when she crossed to stand in front of him, she was wearing a smile. “Will you help me roll the sleeves up? The shirt’s all bunched up under the cardigan, but I think if I roll them up and over and get the cuffs right it’ll look better.”

“Of course. Let me see.”

She lifted an arm, and he began carefully rolling up the sleeves the way she’d requested, feeling his mouth go dry as he saw how delicate her wrist was next to his broad hands. He wanted to linger there when he was done, trail his fingers over the pale, silky skin of her forearm and press a kiss to her palm, but instead moved to the other arm without even looking up.

“Thanks, Kris,” she said when he had finished, catching his hand in hers before he could pull away.

He gave her fingers a soft squeeze and glanced up at her with a lopsided grin. “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. This almost makes up for all the times you’ve stolen my post-its. Now hurry up and get ready before the line for the waffle maker gets long.”

“Knowing you, feistypants, you’ll just elbow your way past anyone who gets between you and something sweet.”

“And knowing you, you’ll just glare at anyone who takes too long at the coffee pot and they’ll melt away on the spot.”

“I glare at you all the time, and you’re still here,” he pointed out.

She grinned at him then, and something about it made his heart constrict. “Yeah,” she said warmly, “I am.”

---

“Excellent work, you guys,” Harry said with a grin. Behind him, Elsa gave them a thumbs-up and mouthed fuck yeah.

Kristoff set a hand surreptitiously on Anna’s lower back, like he’d been doing during the whole presentation, as if to steady himself. “Thanks, boss,” he said, his relief palpable.

“Any suggestions for how we can improve it?” Anna asked. “Do you think using Prezi slows it down too much? I can remake it in Keynote if you want, or I already have a backup PowerPoint.”

“No, I--”

“And are there enough pictures? I know people get overwhelmed with blocks of text, but for some of this the pictures felt extraneous, so I just thought--”

“Anna, no, it’s--”

“And did I talk too much? I know I tend to go on and on and--”

“Miss Delle,” Harry said firmly, and her mouth snapped shut. “I typed a short list of critiques. Once Elsa has a look over it and adds her own thoughts, I’ll email it to you. But it’s all very minor stuff, really. The important thing is that you two really know your stuff about the tech we’re using and our online sales and engagement strategies. Seriously, great work. We’ve got a conference call in a minute, though, so if you don’t mind--”

“Oh, of course! Thanks so much, Harry, really,” Anna said breathlessly. “See you Monday!”

She headed over to where the laptop was perched on a lectern, moving to click the red button and end the call. Before she did, though, she watched as on the other end, Harry turned to her sister and said, “Don’t know why the hell my brother’s always requesting we review their department, do you?”

For a moment she froze, hearing Kristoff suck in a breath behind her. Harry glanced over his shoulder then and said, “Oh, sorry guys, forgot to hang up.”

“I’ve got it!” Anna squeaked, ending the video call before he could say another word.

She turned on her heel and saw Kristoff hadn’t moved, his expression inscrutable. She crossed back towards him, but his eyes didn’t move from the now-black screen. “Fucking rat bastard, huh?” she asked softly, setting her fingertips lightly against his forearm.

He sighed and looked down at the floor, not meeting her eyes. “Yeah.”

She bit her lip, lingering for a moment to see if he said anything else, but his thoughts were clearly miles away. She slid her hand down then to give his fingers a brief squeeze before turning away to retrieve her laptop and settle back down at the table they’d been working at in the most out-of-the-way meeting room they could find. 

Kristoff joined her after a moment, already slipping his reading glasses back on as he hunched over his laptop. “I gotta finish running these reports,” he said, not looking up, “then I’ll help you with whatever Harry said.”

“No worries,” Anna replied, tapping her fingers against the table as she waited for the email to come in. 

Harry, despite being one of the baker’s dozen and one Westergaard brothers, was, all things considered, a more than decent boss. He never got too in the way of the work, was always willing to listen to new ideas, and-- most importantly, in Anna’s opinion-- kept Elsa, who worked as his executive assistant, from overworking herself like she always tended to do. When Anna had been hired on, he hadn’t known the two of them were related, but he’d grinned when he found out and said he was looking forward to having the pair of them around.

As far as Anna knew, he was higher up on the ladder than Hans in terms of who was likely to inherit the company when it was passed down to the next generation, and she was grateful for it. Hans saw everything from a sales perspective and didn’t bother to consider the people involved, and he was outright cruel to people when it suited him, whether it made sense or not. She couldn’t help but wonder why Kristoff in particular was--

A large hand settled over her still-tapping fingers, pressing them flat against the table, and she jumped in surprise. Her eyes flicked up to see Kristoff looking at her, half-amused and half-irritated.

“You’re gonna drive me insane if you keep doing that,” he teased, his voice light.

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly, “just got lost in thought.”

“S’alright,” he reassured her, sliding his thumb under her palm so he could squeeze her hand. “Is the email in yet?”

“Oh-- I wasn’t even looking!”

She returned the squeeze before pulling away to refresh her inbox. “Here it is-- yeah, Harry says....’switch slide four and six….bigger font for the headers...great job.’ And Elsa says ‘relax, both of you’.” 

When she looked up, Kristoff looked stunned. “That’s it? Really?”

“I...yeah. Shit, maybe we work together better than we thought.”

They exchanged shy smiles, each of them unsure of what exactly to do next. The fixes would take less than five minutes; there was nothing left to do but present tomorrow. Well, Anna corrected herself, he probably has lots of emails still about IT problems, probably wants me to get out of his way--

“Do you...do you wanna take a break?” Kristoff asked suddenly, raising one hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Like...we’re at the beach, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Anna replied, trying to quell the tide of excitement in her chest that was going to overwhelm her if she wasn’t careful.

“And we’re the only department with something big like this, so everybody else has already been doing fun stuff, you know?”

“Definitely.”

“So...we could have a turn. For a little bit, anyway?”

She couldn’t fight her smile any longer. “So...what do you wanna do?”

He grinned. “Race you to the room and then down to the beach?”

Before he could say another word, she was on her feet and running for the door, her laughter trailing behind her.

[advernia]

push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

a separate post for my ramblings for this fic!! it’s actually the longest thing i’ve written in a while, so i have a lot to ramble about haha;;

prelude

oh man... this started when two of my friends decided to go through edgar’s route at the same time AND also decided to go reacting to every single part of the route through burst texting AT THE SAME TIME, effectively flooding my inbox.... they were fully aware that i was at a seminar and unable to reply... now my inbox is filled with so much edgar screaming i cannot... (゜▽゜;)

screaming aside they were also very willing to read whatever drafts of edgar/mc i had available and this was their favorite!! thanks to them, i decided to finish this omfg... i’m actually so proud that i got this done but tbh it was getting so long that i had half a mind to let go of it already halfway through scene three haha... (;*△*;)

this has uh... some fighting scenes and tbh the first draft had absolutely none of it... this is my first time actually writing long(?) scenes and while i found thinking about them to be fun, putting them into words was some struggle??? like... i've been told that it looks okay but idk it feels clunky to me. oh well ＼| ￣ヘ￣|／

general stuff + war phase, baby!

initially this was only meant to be 3 parts + primarily focused on edgar/mc + with an unnamed mc as usual! but then since it’s an au of kyle’s route, i found myself wanting to flesh out the relationship of edgar & mc when set in a different angle + circumstances rather than just automatically implying attraction...

plus their relationship canonically starts off on the wrong foot in that route & edgar’s fully aware that mc isn’t exactly comfortable around him, so it really doesn’t sit well if i just... put them together, lol. so thus we have five scenes of them getting(?) closer!(???)

in short its a hella slow burn and not gonna lie, when i was writing their scenes i was like f i n a l l y... bless... ಠ ּ͜೦

one of the reasons i like kyle’s route is bc i actually got some feel of an actual war??? idk i think there’s so much plot that u can fill in with it, so i decided going for alternating scenes of the battlefield + med tent. while there's glimpses of the action going on, there’s also the sort of complimenting(???) or offsetting more emotional perspective of what goes on with the medics. 

tbh i stared long and hard at the cradle map when formulating some tactics and i gotta say i had a hard time calming myself down bc... 

in kyle’s route, the red army has the advantage and have pushed the black army as far back as to their bridge, which means that more or less they’ve occupied central quarter... but what dawned on me was... where the hell did the red army position their encampment from there??? 

was an encampment even necessary given that they’re like, in a really convenient area????? they probably could’ve settled themselves in some houses but tbh okay maybe it isn’t so noble of the reds to do (imposing themselves n’ stuff) + they have larger numbers so accommodating all of them is a problem but still... where’d they set up camp??? u see, when kyle + mc step out of the med tent it shows the forest bg, so... where??? on the edges of the central quarter area are where u can see them trees??? on the civic center roof?!?!

well... a decent answer is that they could’ve set up several encampments around the area to ensure their hold on the central quarter... it still raises some questions but honestly it makes a lot more sense... but if not and they really decided to camp out like one big happy family all together, then don’t even get me started on the possibility that the camp was stationed somewhere around here:

because doing that doesn’t have a single lick of sense omfg especially tactics-wise haha... that’s like... why would you do that... you’re wasting all your advantages... o h  b o y... so you bet when i remembered that mc + loki had to pass by a forest to get back to the encampment + encountered ray & some disciples i was like... u m m... why???? if technically the reds took hold of the whole central quarter area then it actually isn’t necessary to skulk around in the forest?????? yes yes i know safety precautions + avoiding detection but... dood... it’s safer to walk in claimed territory rather than the unstable one ahaha...

plus the thing about the black bridge... uh... it's just said in the route that lancelot handles it through magic and that's all. but when i thought back on it oh my god... what did he do??????? how is he still standing??? how much of his lifespan did he shave off just to salvage that situation??????????? how is the poor boi alive?????????? the whole fucking bridge literally falls apart and that's a whole lot of chaos and people and AHHHHH!?!?!¿¿¿¿ if ur gonna make the bridge collapse (good thing they didn't think of disintegrate) it probably cost the magic tower a hefty amount but get rekt lancelot still saves the fucking day, what a king - he's practically got one foot in the grave already... this dood, seriously ಥ_ಥ

there were other things i noticed in the process of writing this based on the route events but i was like fuck it, let’s think on that another day and leave it as it is (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻ ily kyle but oh no my brain started reprocessing the other details of ur route

thinking about all that also made me think of other more stuff, like cradle economy + livelihood haha;; it’s stated in edgar’s route (well... it’s actually pretty obvious in other routes too) that the reds are richer than the blacks, so i went ahead and assumed that the former engages in something more lucrative like mining -> jewerly / raw material / mineral trade, while for the latter something more wholesome like agriculture. idk, it works. even moreso that the reds give off the whole nobility vibe while the blacks are simple and casual. even the bg screens of the red & black streets are polarizing.

then i also went over the rest of the chosen thirteen... while the reds show no obvious weapon variety (see: swords), i’d like to believe that they’re taught to be versatile enough no matter what the situation. plus, since they have the funding, i'd like to think they're skilled in magic manipulation, too. meanwhile the black army shows weapon variety, and i’d like to think that it’s because most of their recruits aren’t soldiers in the first place: they’re farmhands / hunters / village people turned soldiers, and it’s actually easier to let them go with what they know first before encouraging them or asking them to learn something new. thus axes and spears and possible unconventional stuff like caltrops.

crimson glory

one of the things i realized was in kyle’s route, mc isn’t exactly so buddy-buddy with the red crew in comparison to other routes. she gets minimal interactions with the four, and zero aside her relationships with the top three are rather... tense.

zero was the other red officer i was initially going to add aside from edgar & kyle, but i added all of them anyway. while they don't appear all together, all of them have scenes together with edgar.

the first edgar & jonah scene shows an obvious contrast - while he's being incredibly critical about it, jonah shows actual concern for the living situations in black army territory. on the other hand, edgar chooses to tease him about it, his joking more or less implying that he isn't that concerned / bothered about it at all. the game touches up on this sometimes, often with edgar commenting on how noble jonah is while jonah shows obvious distaste for edgar's callousness.

still, they work well together. personally i'm amused with a hc of mine that looking at how edgar fights / acts only spurs jonah to act more honorably while for edgar, being exposed to jonah's noble-ness more or less makes him curious to try being honorable from time to time lol. that still doesn't stop anyone from calling him the gentle demon tho ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

tbh since edgar is obviously sneaky on other routes i wouldn't put it past him to casually pressure lancelot to tell him wtf's going on with this war when he gets the inkling that something's wrong. edgar goes about this subtly not-so-subtly and in the most polite manner possible. lancelot knows him far too well to take bait tho - he makes sure to speak carefully since he's probably knows that edgar's going to pick apart at his words for meanings + implications, so it more or less leaves edgar a bit frustrated since it's clear that lancelot won't tell him much. still, edgar knows when not to cross the line - even he's not so keen on getting on lancelot's bad side.

that aside, i'd like to think that edgar respects lancelot a lot as a person + commander enough that he'd truly risk his life for him on instinct like a true soldier would. while i think i could've done more on writing the gravity of the collapsing bridge scene, i liked the last bit where edgar + zero immediately worried for lancelot.

let's be honest here tho in some way or another all of the reds chosen worry about their king bc bruh... let us in bruh...

the scenes of zero & edgar in the end are also my favorite! it isn’t much, but enjoyed writing their relationship briefly. tbh i think edgar is one of those people under the sleep = most vulnerable = death thinking (no thanks to claudius), so the fact that he allows himself to drift to sleep twice in zero's company is a definite sign of trust. then again, he's injured but still ( ᐛ )و

edgar, idike, kyle

y’know even if this is an edgar/mc thing, i found fleshing out the kyle/mc relationship equally important which i presented in scene three. personally speaking, i’d like to think that if ever kyle didn’t fall in love with mc (on his own route???) he’d still be watching over her anyway since her struggle in the medical field + war reminds him a bit of his younger self after his brother's death.

which is why he doesn't intervene with that one soldier scene - he doesn't coddle her either when she goes into a brief shock. perhaps it's bc he knows so well what she's going through, he decides to let her handle it on her own. this was her experience, not his. and to be fair, she asked to go to the front lines determined but wholly unprepared emotionally. he tried warning her, she wouldn’t listen. now she faces the consequences - how would she go about it?

i decided to slap a name into mc this time to highlight the trust plot: idk if i got it clearly across in the fic, but in times of war + for someone who’s been trained to be suspicious / cautious of everyone like edgar; secrets are a surefire way to catch attention + breed distrust.

tbh he's hella aware that the secret around her name is most likely personal and nothing dangerous, but it's better safe than sorry - by making sure she understands that keeping secrets wouldn't be of any good to her + situation, he gets reassurance that she really is harmless. how bad + seriously she takes it honestly surprises him tho, but then again she's been going through other stuff too so it all piled up.

idike isn’t my in-game name, but it’s the given name i spoke of in this ask, haha! initially scene five has her saying her full name (with surname), but i thought it would be more fitting if i didn’t lol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

i tried to incorporate a mix of the personalities of edgar’s!mc + kyle’s!mc onto idike, tho at first i was only shooting for the latter - i think it kinda works??? while somewhat composed and determined (kyle’s), she still shows some naivete in her (edgar’s), especially concerning the ways of war + how secrecy & trust work in times of war.

i found emphasizing on her emotional struggle important, since it should be a big blow for her who’s never known the terror of war. the game touches upon on it a bit (tho it's post-med tent scenes) and i wanted to expand on it further since there are so many possible angles to go about it.

the i can’t heal you if you’re dead line sounds like something like shiro emiya might say but lol no i just remembered this p3 manga panel (pg 24) - its been years since i read it and i still love that line and i integrated it here... i was trying to expand that one scene for a while but then i just left it as it is.

in the catharsis scene where idike airs out everything, the fact that edgar fails to empathize with her + focuses more on her emotional state rather than offering actual help (advice maybe, but i honestly doubt he’d do that) reflects that he's still looking at her as an interesting creature and not her as a person. part 5 hints that this may be slowly changing, seeing as he called for her all of a sudden.

... idike probably keeps edgar’s glove as a token of friendship or smth haha ooPSSS i forgot to bring that back ahahaha..... ヘ（。□°）ヘ

ooofff i guess that’s all i have??? a big thank you to whoever read both hot messes™ and by that the fic + commentary itself!!! do feel free to hit the inbox for any comments + questions + more brainstorming + general screaming haha! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

About book!Aziraphale and his relationship to Heaven

Most of the meta I’ve read about it has it that the main difference between him and TV!Aziraphale is that he’s accepted the fact that he’s a bit of a bastard and that Heaven’s pretty rotten and it’s just a name for a side and I’m over here like “that’s?????? Not what I read at all”. If anything, TV!A is the one who keeps talking about opposite sides as the reason why he and Crowley can’t like each other and about his inability to disobey, while book!A is the one going on and on about angels and demons not even having free will and so being inevitably good and evil respectively. Yes, he’s more aware of the possibility for punishment than TV!A seems to be, mentioning Gomorrah when they find out Warlock’s not the Antichrist, but that just fits with the whole issue, which is that a part of him knows that everything’s not what he thinks he’s been told it is it seems to be, it’s just that he knows it on the same level that he knows Crowley has a spark of goodness in him and that still allows him to deny that knowledge in conversation until they’re literally about to die. 

 Here’s how I read it: is he more comfortable with, say, the concept* of killing an eleven year old? Yes, but, coupled with everything else he says, I think it has less to do with him being alright with his “bastardy” and recognizing Heaven and Hell are just sides than it has with him just being convinced that, as long as it’s an agent of Heaven doing it (including him), it’s alright (in the self-righteous hands, a gun lends weight to a moral argument).

Heaven as a cult (and no, I don’t know what Hell would be in this metaphor - a gang, maybe)

The thing is that you can’t look at his relationship with Heaven as just work, or even just family. As I mentioned in another post, I think it should be seen as a cult, which kinda mixes both work and family and adds religion and all that fun stuff: the other angels are the people he was born and belongs with, and their “home” is where he learned was raised (family); Heaven is the source of his “income” and Aziraphale relies on it “financially”, it also has a marked hierarchy (work); as a religious institution, it works with the belief that it knows what’s best and what will be rewarded in the end, in addition to having a knowledge of how the world works that isn’t obvious at first glance to anyone who doesn’t belong, and works primarily on faith (religion). When all of that combines, the “raising” part of the familial aspect becomes programming and indoctrination with the unquestioning faith of the religion, the faith of the religion becomes unquestionable obedience to your boss with the strict hierarchy and fear of ruin if you’re fired of the workplace, and the faith and desire to belong of the family and religion become an unhealthy attachment to your job.

I see book!Aziraphale as who was born and raised in a cult and then sent away to do missionary work, where he faced reality, went through some pretty severe cognitive dissonance and dealt with it by rationalizing and denying by turns. I think the “angels are naturally good and, in fact, incapable of being anything else, since we don’t have free will, so anything I do will be Right and Good” excuse saw its fair share of use. I see him as someone who’s comfortable being a bastard because he doesn’t believe that’s what he’s doing or that he’s even capable of it. It’s this denial which leads him to (somehow????) be convinced that if he tells Heaven where the Antichrist is, they’ll get rid of him (nothing too bad, since they’re Heaven, of course, which leads me to the question, what the fuck do you think would have been an appropriate response, Aziraphale, since you were willing to kill him for a good stretch there? And what would have been an exaggerated, unbecoming-of-your-idealized-Heaven response???), even though he starts off knowing that they want the war, because he cannot conceive of being against Heaven. Sortaaa... divergent? Yeah, alright, but always working towards the same goal. The Agreement might have been acceptable in his mind because the job is still getting done, and the temptations also would have happened anyway. (Besides, of course, the whole “I can’t do Bad” thing.”)

Not that I think he’s, like, a pure cinnamon roll who only does the things he does because he doesn’t know better uwu !!!11!1!1. I think a big reason why his indoctrination’s been able to hold all that time is pride in always being Right and the comfort of knowing you’re always Good, so you don’t have to think about how what you’re doing will affect other people. He is someone who wants to do good, but, as all of us know, even without the complication of what we’re told is good and what we feel is good being contradicting, sometimes life’s too complicated to be able to tell what’s the right course, and Aziraphale, who we were introduced to worrying about this very problem, takes the easy way out and believes that being Good is his very nature. As I said before, a part of him knew that what he believed was wrong, but it was a mind (what Heaven taught him) over matter (what he feels is right) conflict when there was another battle going on in “matter” between what he feels is right and what he wants for himself, which was to be in Heaven’s good graces and for everything to be easy and himself to be good.

Matter over program (and pride, and guilt, and comfort, and security, let’s just say he didn’t have it easy, mkay?)

This conflict is suggested In The Beginning, ““““coincidentally”””” also the last time we go into Aziraphale’s head until he has to make a choice between Heaven and Crowley, and he rationalizes choosing Heaven by convincing himself that they’ll do what he wants them to and stop the Apocalypse and that way he’ll get to go back to Crowley.** Aka, his POV is marked by instances where what he’s been told what he says clashes against what he feels and wants. The solution for his conflict comes with the Metatron stating in no uncertain terms that Heaven’s wishes and his own were irreconcilably at odds with each other... actually, I think this probably wasn’t the first time? Probably, I don’t and can’t know. But what this was, was probably the first time Aziraphale cared so much about what he’d have to give up that he thought it was worth it to not only cut ties with Heaven, but also to abandon his carefully constructed wall of denial and rationalization and indoctrination to accept thing as they are.

We can see it plainly with the televangelist. A lot of people point at that moment as proof of him being and ass and, like, I agree that that’s what he’s being, but only on account of the people who were honestly watching that channel to feel connected to their religion and find some peace and reassurance and got... Aziraphale. Here’s the thing, though. A thing that tends to get lost in these debates. This isn’t Aziraphale casually debating the Apocalypse over some tea and scones; this is the first time Aziraphale admits, maybe even accepts, that Heaven and Hell are just sides, after insisting on their inherent good and evil natures the whole book; this is Aziraphale in the wake of having his rose-coloured glasses torn from him, this is him after being forced, after all this time, to tear off his own glasses; this is him angry, and disillusioned, and betrayed, with, at and by both Heaven and himself. Hell, him reproaching the televangelist for taking comfort in the fact that the righteous people could just kick back and watch the show, secure in the knowledge that they’ll be fine, could very well fit a projection of everything he’d let slide, because Heaven would win the war and that was his “idea of a morally acceptable time.” (More on Aziraphale and his possible guilt in a bit.) 

Again, this is not an admission Aziraphale makes lightly, like “awright, I guess it’s not quite like that, but shhhh, it’s our secret ;)”, it’s one he’s forced to face when the only other option is losing everything he holds dear. 

(New thought I got while writing this: this is also the first time he admits that Heaven’s victory isn’t a sure thing, so not only does he abandon the security in his and Heaven’s righteousness, but also in that everything would at least turn out okay.)

What He Found (no, I didn’t watch the movie, this pun is as superficial as NG’s attempt to make Pepper into a person who “believes in peace” for the TV show)

But things turn out pretty alright for him. Not only does he get a happy ending, but in between being discorporated and the attempted fight against Satan, you can kinda see him get his moral compass sorted. If I may quote myself, it goes kinda like this: 

“I’d say it’s why he’s so erratic at the end, and with the whole confidence/insecurity thing. At Heaven’s insistence on bringing about the Apocalypse, that clear collision of beliefs, he has the rug pulled from under him. That certainty comes from the fact that he believes, or can make himself believe, that Heaven and Angels are always right. The moment that’s proven to be untrue? Fuck you, I’m gonna possess people. Oh? You think you’re so righteous, huh? Talking about how you’ll be saved because you’re so Right, huh? Boy, do I have some news for you, you’re not even a decent person, I mean, really? Watching everyone else suffer from up high? (oh, shit, am I on tv?) [also notice that this is the first time, unless I’m forgetting something, that he acknowledges what Crowley’s been saying all along, that there’s no good vs evil, just sides] Fuck that, I’m gonna convince geriatrics to kill the Antichrist. Fuck it, I’m gonna make that guard disappear (…err…ignoring the pangs of guilt, gotta keep going…) Fuck it all, I’m gonna kill that eleven yeaghghgasdfh mayhaps not. But! You! Metatron! You feel so Righteous, huh? So Good? So Correct? So confident in your ability to understand the ineffable plan? Well I don’t, bitch.”

Everyone says that book!Aziraphale is smug and condescending and acts holier-than-thou and they’re right! That’s him! But that confidence comes from believing he literally can’t go wrong. It’s why he changes his mind about Adam: it’s all right and good to be ready to kill (or get someone to kill) a kid when you believe morality is always on your side, not... so much when you realize that everything you do, it’s for you to live with, and there’s no certainty that you were right.

Our last stand

And here’s my last argument for why I don’t think he “accepted” that he was a bastard before, and going back to the promised, if unasked for, topic: his guilt. 

So. The Apocalypse has been averted. Time to go back home with the Enemy, return the favour to the sweet lady who gave him a ride over (and her young man). Suddenly, the smell of something burning. An earthquake. Satan’s coming for Crowley, at least, maybe Adam, too. There are other people at the airbase, though. So, Aziraphale decides to try to fight him, at least give everyone a chance to run. And there’s kindness and compassion in that decision, of course, but when he tries to convince Crowley, he also implies that they owe it to the humans, for messing around with them. He’s guilty. And I have trouble believing that someone who’d die for a bunch of people he’s just met and ask seemingly the only sentient being he has an affective attachment to to join him (which has connotations about both his committed nature and the extent of his guilt) would just... go through life, knowing he was screwing people over and fully accepting it. Knowing it in his heart of hearts but not feeling prepared for the consequences and so looking the other way? Yeah, sure. That’s him. That’s his arc: making the choice to actually look at things, and also face the fact that he’s been making the choice to close his eyes. 

Book!Aziraphale’s faults and bastardy are more obvious than his TV counterpart’s, and maybe even greater, but it’s not because he’s accepted that side of himself or that all Heaven’s ever taught him is pure propaganda, but because he believes that propaganda a lot more (at least, superficially) and so is much more secure in his “good nature”.

*I’ve pointed it put multiple times and I still can’t emphasize it enough: while both of them hesitate, the one who decides not to kill Adam and wait and see while he’s talking to the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, who are supposed to bring it about on his command, is book!Aziraphale.

**In a way, choosing both of them, in contrast to TV!Aziraphale who, by telling no one the truth, chose neither. (He went straight to the manager.)

[sonipanda]

Now there is a little story behind these as to why I bought them to review. One of my followers had sent me these on another female, and suggested I should get them. As soon as I saw that post, I went on the hunt as quick as I could. I loved the way they looked and I wanted to get myself a pair to try out.

The Spec

Colour: Black/Grey

Size: 2 – Small

Denier: 20

Materials: 72% polyamide, 13% elastane, 15% polypropylene 

Price: £4.25 / Sale £3.83

Website: More Tights – Fiore First Date 20 den

My Outfit

I wore my mini dress today, as I wanted to match the welt with my heels, plus it was a nice day to do so. You can always make these casual by switching the heels to white pumps or some flat shoes instead.

My Deets

Dress: ASOS

Tights: Fiore

Shoes: Dorothy Perkins

    The Review

From The Website:

panty area: reinforced panty area / decorative marked area pattern: imitation stockings / back seam transparency: transparency toe: invisibly reinforced toes / transparent toes occasion: party / dating / daywear / summer / work matt: semi gloss fabric: lycra Colour: black / grey gusset: cotton gusset / small gusset Denier: 20 den

  The Packaging: if you have bough various styles from Fiore, you will know that their packaging changes depending on which collection you purchase from. This is part of the Golden Line range, so the packaging will vary from Femme and the normal collection. The front shows the model wearing it in a nude colour (I purchased black) on the front, and the back goes into very little detail about the actual pair inside.

When you get in, you will find these flat folded and wrapped around card.

  Getting Them On: what I didn’t realise about this pair is that these have a mock suspender strap part, which makes this even more interesting. I took my time to line up at the back (it doesn’t help that the seams on the foot are super wonky to begin with so you will need to move this into place yourself) making sure that they are straight as possible and then match the bands up so they are symmetrical. Then I had to make sure that the suspender belt stays straight at the front of the leg as well before I can finally set them.

Oh these are fine going over anklets as long as you take care doing so 🙂

  On The Legs: can I just say how alluring they look?! I certainly didn’t expect it to come out looking like they do!

The denier of these being 20 really does help set off everything; the welt, the backseam and certainly the suspender belt.

The quality of these are great; I didn’t manage to get any snags or rips whilst I was in them today which is a bonus. Even though these are quite fine on the legs, they actually are decent.

The fit is true to size, with a good amount of stretch in them so you don’t need to tug at these whilst getting them on. If you’re unsure of your sizing, I would recommend going 1 size up just in case. They shouldn’t be baggy on you but give you a little more stretch and room. The feel of these are super soft and real nice to touch; they are smooth from the toes to the welt, then you get this raised lace texture and back to sheer smoothness again.

The design is really nice; the front is quite simple which I like with the back having its own limelight with that simple backseam. What I do love is that it turns into a suspender look at the front only, which I thought was a lovely alluring touch to them. When I saw it on the model previously, I think she must have hid that part so I thought it just stopped at that chunky welt, but was I wrong!? I do love this design and it’s such a gorgeous piece whether you wish to show it off or keep it concealed…

  The Toes & Ankle: so the toes come invisibly reinforced which is great (this is always the case with Fiore) so you don’t have to worry too much about rips happening here. There is also plenty of wiggle room in these, and no extra material at the sides either.

Around the ankles, it’s a smooth fitted finish.

Under the feet, you may be able to see that the seams are slightly wonky and not sitting straight as they keep moving throughout the day, which means it causes slight issues at the heels. So I had to keep an eye to make sure they weren’t going out of place!

  The Waistband: yep that is a bear in the way for obvious reason. I should have done a beaver or cat lol!

As you can see, they have the french knicker design which is on the front and back of the tights. This acts like a reinforcement for this area, which is great if you wish to go commando at any point in them.

I also wanted to show you a snippet of where the suspender belt ends – see how it isn’t stitched into the panty part, which I thought was interesting.

The belt itself is pretty comfortable and doesn’t dig in at all during the day. I had no issues with it at all, and it held up really well too.

    My Thoughts?

I gotta say these are simple but effective, and a great pair to add to your collection. I would certainly recommend these for sure!

Fiore First Date Tights Now there is a little story behind these as to why I bought them to review. One of my followers had sent me these on another female, and suggested I should get them.

[killianmesmalls]

Life as We Know It

At the request of a certain someone (eh hem @queen-mabs-revenge), I’m posting this (you’ve seen it here before) on a separate post and shall continue to add to it because I’m lost forever in this AU. Inspired by that same someone’s fantastic gifs. 

Summary: Just when the Jones brothers feel like their lives are where they should be—Liam is graduating from the police academy and Killian is just a couple years away from graduating high school—they get some news that turns their whole world sideways. An AU where Liam, Milah, and Bae are alive and help Killian navigate the unexpected world of being a young, single father. 

Warnings: So far, mentions of date rape and Eloise Gardener, as well as a decent amount of swearing. 

Combined Parts 1& 2/?

Invite your little brother out, he thought. It’ll be good for him, he thought. Apparently, Liam had thought wrong.

In a few weeks, he’d be graduating from the police academy, unable to participate in his more “childish” endeavors of DJing or staying up all hours at a club. Truth be told, even at 22, he felt he was getting too old for supporting himself and his brother through odd jobs and late night events. The smell of spilled beer and the sweat of hundreds of people didn’t quite wash out like it used to.

Still, he thought one last big night out and inviting Killian out would help get whatever had been happening in his head recently out in the open or get rid of it entirely. He’d still be in a safe place—all the bartenders knew the Jones brothers and knew exactly what would happen if they served the younger one—but he’d have the chance to blow off some steam. Sixteen was a rough year, especially when one was experimenting with growing facial hair and dating, as Killian seemed to be.

Upon first catching sight of him, it looked like experimenting with the advancing of puberty wasn’t the only thing Killian had gotten into. Liam didn’t need to see the state of his eyes or feel his pulse. He was on something. Drugs or an interesting mix of liquor, it didn’t matter. His underage brother, one bad CPS call away from getting slammed back into the system, was dancing like a maniac in… fucking hell, was that one of his pajama shirts?

Focus, Liam. Focus. You’re getting paid for this. You can kill him for free later.

The music continued to swell and the liquor and flailing limbs of a bunch of drunk revelers continued to multiply. The air had taken on its own alcohol level, exacerbating Killian’s wildness until he finally hit into the wrong person.

“Bloody hell,” Liam whispered under some God-awful remix he’d been requested.

It was clockwork with all bar or club fights, and Liam was disappointed to see the same was the case with his little brother. The stranger pushed, Killian pushed back, the stranger got closer, Killian got into the man’s face, and soon fists were flying. Thank whatever higher power that the security team was also well-aware of who Killian was, pulling him and the other man away from each other just as Liam approached.

“What the hell is going on here?” Liam practically snarled.

“He—” Killian started in a distorted yell, before one of the bouncers cut him off.

“Sorry, Li, but we gotta get him out of here.”

Liam nodded, grabbing Killian by his upper arm. “Mind asking Ray to take over for a bit? I’ll be back in twenty or so.”

They exchanged a nod as the elder Jones ignored the swears of the younger one, soon pulling him out like an angry parent pulling a toddler mid-tantrum from a toy store.

The cool air of the back alley had an instant effect on his nerves, cooling the sweat on the back of his neck and forcing some semblance of calm to wash over him. As the heavy back door closed behind them and all he could hear was the pulse of the music instead of a bombardment of noise, he tried to harness that calm into something productive.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” Killian yelled.

And, there went the calm.

Liam let go of his brother’s arm, only to reel his hand back and smack him hard upside the head. “What was that for? What is wrong with you?! You come in here, completely wasted off of fuck knows what, and get into a fight? Do you have any idea what sort of risks you put yourself in tonight?”

“I don’t care!”

“You don’t care?! Well I sure as shit do, little brother!”

“Younger brother,” the teen snarled.

“No, I meant little. You’re acting like a child. A reckless, idiot child. What in the hell has gotten into you recently? Huh? The last few weeks you’ve been a sullen, irritating fucking mess! Now look at you! Did you want to get taken into some home? Because that’s where you’re going if you keep this up! One call is all it will take, Killian! One call! Do you want that?!”

“No!” Killian shouted, shaking his head in a wild gesture, as if he could swing himself into some tranquil sobriety.

“Then why do it?!”

“ELOISE IS PREGNANT!” he shouted.

The air in the alley turned ice cold then left all at once. Liam could swear everything got somehow both closer and farther away. Eloise was…

“That… that girl you mentioned you met at a party? I thought you said you met someone and it didn’t go well.”

“I did,” Killian choked out, a weight gathering over him as he realized what he’d said.

“Then tell me, genius, how does having sex with a girl at a party count for you as not going well? Oh, I know, because WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT?”

“I—”

Again, before Killian could answer, Liam couldn’t resist another hit upside his head. He was never one with force with his brother, opting more for guilt trips or general brotherly pestering, but tonight shattered something and he couldn’t help himself. He felt both too old and too young for this at once, and even where he stood could feel himself aging a decade.

“Stop that!” Killian shouted. “I didn’t mean to do it!”

“You didn’t mean to have sex with a random girl at a party? What happened? You drink there, too, and you just happened to have your penis fall into—”

“SHE DRUGGED ME, LIAM!”

Okay, if that last confession took all the air out of the alley, this one felt like it all came rushing back, concentrated and like a punch to the chest. “She what?” he almost whispered.

“I drank a beer that night, like I told you. We got to talking about things, and she asked me to come upstairs with her. I did because, hell, why wouldn’t I? I thought we were just going to makeout or something. We went into a bedroom and we did start talking. She then offered to get us a couple of drinks, and when she got back we got to talking again. Then, well, I don’t remember much. I remember some things? But, next thing I know, I’m waking up and…. I had a feeling it happened, but I didn’t want to think about it.”

“Killian,” was all Liam could say at first, reaching out to him. He guiltily watched as his brother flinched slightly, calming when Liam rested a hand on his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to think about it. This sort of thing doesn’t happen to guys, right? I mean, people would say I probably wanted it. And maybe I did? I don’t know. And I didn’t know for sure, so why start something about anything I didn’t know for a fact? Plus, I mean, I didn’t want you to get in trouble or me to get in trouble. I didn’t…. I just couldn’t Liam. But, now she told me she’s pregnant and she’s keeping it, though I don’t know why. She even said she doesn’t like kids. Why is she keeping it? I don’t know Liam. I don’t know what to do.”

Suddenly, Killian pressed his hands to his face and started to sob. Liam pulled the teen into his arms and rubbed his back, his mind racing over what all had happened. Though he didn’t know how, he reassured, “It’ll be alright. We’ll figure this out. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

He just hoped something somewhere heard him and was listening.

After Killian’s confession, Liam had taken the rest of the night off. The loss in wages was insult to injury, but he shoved his frustration aside, figuring it was worth it to have the chance to escort his little brother home. After sobbing at length and having the full amount of alcohol he’d pregamed with hit him at once, Killian was unsteady as he walked, and Liam was all too happy to help guide him with his arm over his shoulder.

It helped to assuage his guilt.

How had he not noticed something so wrong could have happened? Why hadn’t he asked earlier? Hell, why hadn’t he asked the next morning when he saw Killian in a daze? Sure, he thought it was from the beer he might have downed too quickly (and maybe the few other drinks Liam assumed he’d lied about not having). He should have pressed more, or at least tried just a little harder to get something out of him.

“I don’t feel so good.” Killian’s shaky voice broke through Liam’s thoughts. “Li, I think I—”

He didn’t finish what he thought he was going to do, because he did it all over the sidewalk next to them. Liam sent a small “thanks” to nothing in particular that his brother had opted to point his lunch in the other direction, and he rubbed the teen’s back as his breakfast went to join.

“You okay now?” he asked, rubbing Killian’s back.

“Yeah. I think?”

Liam doubted that. He doubted anything would be okay for a while. He watched as his little brother attempted to walk a straight line, his mind now wandering from what he missed in the past to what had yet to face them both. Meetings with social workers, a custody battle or at least a battle for Killian’s voice to be heard given the circumstances and current laws, months of Killian struggling to figure out what it was he even wanted to begin with, and battles with the girl who had taken advantage of his brother in the worst way.

He hated that his mind wandered to “what if Killian did this?” He trusted his brother inherently, but Killian was right, rape was underreported to a staggering degree, and male rape extremely so for exactly the reasons he had stressed earlier. Drunk and slightly incoherent, but his worries were crystal clear and sadly what Liam had heard more times than he’d have liked in his months at the academy. He didn’t feel like he’d be believed, perhaps he’d asked for it, maybe it was better to just deal with it on his own…. On and on the reasons went, and Liam both couldn’t blame him for any of them and also hated to the depths of his soul how many others of all genders reasoned the same way he did.

No, Killian didn’t ask for this. He didn’t deserve this. And, Liam was going to fight like hell to make sure something good came out of something so foul.

Liam barely slept that night. He’d wake up every few hours and check on Killian. He knew the teen would get over his hangover, likely with one more expulsion of his insides followed by some greasy food around noon. Still, Liam couldn’t help it. For the last three years he’d had custody of his little brother, Liam still looked at him as a child. There was something different now. He was catapulted against his will into adulthood, and Liam found himself worried somehow that if he didn’t pay more attention from here on out, he’d miss something else.

He was already wide awake for the eighth time that night when his alarm went off. He slammed his hand down on “off” button and shuffled to their shared bathroom, going through the movements. Use the facilities, shower, shave, dress, cook breakfast, check again on Killian, have the last dregs of his coffee, write a note for his brother, leave. He’d checked on his brother between each section of his routine this morning, and felt a tug of guilt at leaving at a still sleeping Killian.

The temptation to call in sick was strong, but his common sense took over. Calling sick would do less for his career than help Killian today. Besides, he had someone he needed to talk to. If he were going to figure out his options in the next nine months, he needed to start laying the groundwork now.

He just hoped Weaver was in a good mood.

[machudson]

SO. My glass teacher is in the hospital for knee surgery today so we had a substitute. And when we have a substitute in glass it means one thing: Ignore responsibilities, make marbles. So this marble. This fucking marble. It has been on the edge of destruction more times than I can count. And I have already written out the story. But this fucking shit website decided to delete my paragraphs upon paragraphs of text just because it hates photo posts. So I have to rewrite forty fucking five minutes of work. 

I started this marble on Tuesday. It was much smaller when I started it, about a centimeter in diameter with a lovely vein of yellow-orange inside. But our teacher, who was present then, decided that I had to make marias or whatever the fuck theyre called. So I had to set my marble aside for the duration of the class. Until, in the last five or so minutes, I decided to go back to my marble. But I was a fool. A damn fool. I didn’t let it heat up gradually; I stuck it straight into the hottest part of the flame. And due to thermal shock, about a third of the marble chipped off. I was heartbroken, but I swore I would return to fix it. 

And that is just what I did today. 

However, for some reason, the oxygen for half the torches wasn’t working. And since our teacher wasn’t present, we had no way to fix the problem. I ended up sharing a torch with another girl, a sophomore. I would like to note that we are absolutely not supposed to share torches with another person, and definitely not have two people working on the same torch at the same time. 

So there I am, two people on one torch, wielding a half-broken marble still on the rod. Since I’m going to have to add more glass anyways to fix the chip and make it decently sized, I decide to go and add some more color, this time a nice sort of coral. But let me tell you about colored glass. Specifically red-hued colored glass. Red glass is a sensitive little bitch. If you do anything wrong it will decide that it does not like being red, and will lose all saturation, becoming clear or grey or god knows what. So the coral decides to turn grey. Since it does this while red-hot I don’t notice this and frankly I don’t really care. But in conclusion: red fucking sucks. 

Now I gotta go patch up that fracture. So I grab another clear rod. I started this marble on a 6mm rod, while I’m technically supposed to use 8mm rods. But I don’t give a shit, I’ll use a thin rod if I goddamn want to. I stick on an 8mm rod anyways because there were like seven of them just fucking sitting around and I was too lazy to go over and get a brand new rod. And it’s kind of hard to make a marble when there’s two rods attached, so I went and detached the original (thin) rod from the marble. I then smoothed it out, heating it up then putting it in the marble mold which is apparently also called a marble marver. Anyways I get it to a point where I’m happy with it, and I decide hey I’m ready to cut this. So at first I try to just do a normal torch cut, which is when you just heat up the rod and pull off your whatever with tweezers alright? Well thats not what you do with marbles cause you want them to be entirely smooth, and you cant really heat it when its not on the rod because how would you hold it? Probably with tweezers but your tweezers are made out of metal, dumbass, and you can’t stick them in the fire or you’ll fuck up your tweezers. 

So since our teacher is obviously not present, as he is in the hospital having knee surgery, I call on the unofficial assistant teacher to help. She’s a senior who’s taken glass before and she’s the one who taught us how to do marbles in the first place. Most of the time she just chills out and does whatever the fuck she wants, which is usually making marbles, while chewing gum and listening to headphones, neither of which I think are allowed but she doesn’t give a shit. So she comes over and I ask her how to finish off my marble, which at this point in time is a nicely made marble but with some protrusion of excess glass hanging out because this is my second time making a marble, the first being over a week ago and out of my memory, and I have no clue what I’m doing. And shes like okay well uh what youre supposed to do to remove a marble from the rod is attach a second rod to the other side of the marble and im just here thinking I already did that but okay sure and she tells me that I have to reattach my marble to the rod at the point where I’ve got the fucked up protrusion, then on the other side of the marble add what’s called a punty. A punty is where you heat up a rod and stick it to whatever youre making while you remove that thing from the original rod but the thing that makes punties work is that they’re attached while the marble is sorta cool so they don’t heat fuse and they can just come right off well anyways as she was explaining this I didn’t remember that fine detail about punties so I take another rod and heat it up and attach it to the fucked up protrusion on the side of my marble and on the other side I stick on on yet another rod and this one I think might be the original 6mm one but I really don’t know at this point. But to stick that on I heat up the marble so that the rod sticks better and just so you know that’s exactly the opposite of what you want to do. But I don’t know that yet. So I go on my merry way and remove the fucked up protrusion and smooth it all out and its all lovely and then I ask her hey how do I remove the punty rod and she takes one look at it and shes like hmmmm well you fucked up. Thats heat fused on. So you gotta do another punty rod. And that I do, and this time I am successful, except. Except. When sticking my lovely marble back into the flame. I assume that it is still hot. It isn’t. Thermal shock cracks it straight down the goddamn middle. Both halves are still attached to the punty, by some miracle, but it is painfully clear that so much as looking at it the wrong way will cause those two halves to fall apart and be Marble-No-More. So carefully, very carefully, because although I have suffered more than enough I have gotten back up each and every time, and like hell I’m giving up on this marble, I stick it again into the flame, this time being more careful to heat it up gradually. There is a moment of crisis - I twirl the rod, and the slight heat on the punty rod allows one of the halves to angle away from the other, but I quickly turn it back over and let them sink into each other. The two fractured halves heat and fuse together, at first leaving little more than a seam, then only being remembered by the few small air bubbles trapped inside. Crisis: averted. Senior Marble Master is watching over my shoulder the entire time. I tell her I’m ready to remove the punty. Alright, she says, what you’re going to do is put it in the marble mold, and I follow along as she speaks. Instantly, with no effort needed at all, the moment I put the marble into the mold, the punty snaps off. It’s a clean break, and it’s beautiful - but it isn’t perfect. There’s a small bump where it was. Now you’re not supposed to stick your tools in the fire, but if you’re very very careful, you can hold your marble in the mold up to the flame. And so I did this, and once heated, I would twirl it around in the mold, trying to smooth out that one little bump. And then my hand slipped, and the marble jumped out of the mold and plummeted to the floor. The moment it rolled off the edge, I felt my soul slip away - all that work, gone, shattered onto the floor. 

IT SURVIVED.

And not only did it survive the three foot drop onto the stone floor, it decided to roll across the room and into the corner. This is not an empty corner. It is currently being occupied by a dozen glass tubes, each maybe three to four inches wide. And each of these tubes is wrapped. In plastic. My burning hot escapee marble rolls across the room, into the corner, and comes to rest on the corner of a tube’s plastic packaging. Fun fact! Plastic? It Melts. I am too in shock from dropping my marble and then having it survive to realize that it can’t stay there forever. Thankfully, Senior Marble Master doesn’t have this issue. She grabs a pair of mashing tweezers - tweezers, but with wide, flat squares for Making Things Flat - and journeys across the room to pick up my absolute motherfucker of a marble. It comes back covered in burnt-black, smoldering plastic, but it is intact. I am amazed. She tells me the plastic is still hot and will stick to things, so I have to keep moving it around so that doesn’t happen, but otherwise it should just be fine. So I spend the next five or so minutes doing that, passing it between tweezers, rolling it around in a slightly larger marble mold, et cetera. I take that first picture up there. You can still see the black of the plastic on there, because when I took this, I had not yet decided to attempt to remove it. 

I started just by scratching it with my fingernails, and it worked for a time. By now it was cool, and I carried it with me as I wandered around the room, carefully trying to scrape off the plastic. I went to the small room in the back of the class, with a small sink, and grabbed a (dry) paper towel to aid this. But it isn’t very effective, and it definitely isn’t fast. So I return to the torch, place it in the mold, and carefully hold it up to the torch. It burns away the plastic beautifully; blue flames licking across its surface as it feasts on the easy food. But again - it isn’t perfect. I try to rotate it, let it get at the marks on other sides, but it won’t comply. So I return to the corner room, getting a new piece of paper towel - now wet with cold water. I forget that the marble is still hot. Once again, it snaps with thermal shock - but only partly. Two new fractures run across its face. Despite that, despite everything, it is still whole. 

Fuck this, I decide, I’m not doing any more work to clean this up.

I spend the next fifteen minutes or so taking photos of this marble, this incredible fucker who seems to break at the slightest inconvenience yet hold strong, because I know deep inside me that it doesn’t have much time left. That it won’t survive the next few hours in my pocket, as I go through class and bike home through the persistent summer heat. 

And then, I start writing this.

(and then I keep writing it all throughout my lunch period, and then I decide I don’t want to keep writing it on my phone, so I decide to save it to drafts, and tumblr just deletes the whole damn thing cause it evidently hates any and all photo posts, and then I rewrite the whole damn thing. by the way as I finish this it’s 17:18 and i finished the marble at like 11:25, and it survived the trip home despite my greatest fears and is now chilling in a bottle cap on my bedside table. also at one point during the ‘remove plastic’ stage I drop it again and it rolls under the table and is once again fine, just linty. not counting this epilogue/note/whatever, i wrote two thousand words. on a google doc with 12pt arial and single spacing, that’s about three full pages of text. the things i do to spite tumblr’s shitty code that deletes my posts!)

[drakorn]

Vivaldi - Die Fünfte Jahreszeit: Non-Spoiler Review

Hey guys! So, as I said in my previous post, I finally got around to watch Vivaldi - Die fünfte Jahreszeit at the Vienna Volksoper. While I do have the intentions of making a spoiler review later on, this one here will be completely spoiler free. This is just going to be my overall impressions of various details. So, with that in mind, let’s get started!

The Cast

Antonio Vivaldi - Drew Sarich: Drew Sarich is always a win in my book and in this case it’s no different! He is amazing as Vivaldi and gets many opportunities to show off his vast and mighty rock tenor voice. But he also really gets to shine as an actor here! Some people criticise him for constantly playing the same guy in whatever role he is currently in. I can assure you, this is not the case. I didn’t see Krolock, I didn’t see Rudolf, I didn’t see Jesus, I saw Vivaldi. For me personally, Drew was the highlight of the evening. Whenever he was onstage, I was immensely entertained. This is also one of his funnier roles, I have to say. I know, it’s a piece about Vivaldi’s life but there is a surprisingly large amount of sass an sarcasm devoted to the main part and Drew sells it perfectly! He shows that he has great comedic timing. People who already saw the show will know what I mean when I mention that scene, where Drew really pulls out all of his comedy skills. Overall, it was great for me to see Drew again. The last time I saw him before that was Jesus Christ Superstar at the Ronacher, not last year’s show, the one before, so it was a great feeling seeing one of my favourite actors again. And as always, Drew gives a million percent and fully immerses himself into the role. Great casting choice, no regrets.

Carlo Goldoni - Boris Pfeifer: Another good casting choice here. This character is on stage most of the time so they really had to get a sense of good presence with this casting decision! And they have done so greatly. Whenever Boris and Drew are on stage together and interact with each other, the entire performance is elevated. This guy also has a great comedic timing and sells the role of a mischievous playwright really well! Definitely another highlight for me.

Kardinal Ruffo - Morten Frank Larsen: This role is SUCH a wasted opportunity. First of all, Morten is amazing as Ruffo as you really get the feel of a true antagonist from him. His deep voice combined with his look creates a commanding presence on stage. However, there is one problem with this role: He doesn’t show up as much. This is the antagonist we’re talking about here and we really don’t see that much of him. In fact, I can’t even remember if his character had any conclusion. Actually, I can’t remember if ANY character had a proper conclusion, but this I will talk about later. Morten Frank Larsen deserved so much more time on stage. However, he makes up for it with a kickass villain song, which is actually one of my favourite songs in the whole show. Great casting, great role, only too little stage time.

Annina Girò - Rebecca Nelsen: She was a good addition acting and singing-wise but I don’t really think the character herself is written in a very compelling way. Her biggest evolution is in her first scene and we see it happening very literally. However, I did get that she was supposed to be Vivaldi’s great muse, his inspiration for a while. This definitely came across and her self-confidence was very welcome. It was nice to see her trying to stand up for herself, especially in her big finishing number. However, as I said, not really my favourite character of the show. Rebecca Nelsen, however, was fantastic in the role. She has a great and powerful voice and deserves the applauding.

Paolina Girò - Julia Koci: She is great and probably one of the more interesting characters of the show! The whole point of her is being this watcher in the background, documenting everything while sadly being completely unnoticed and unacknowledged. Julia Koci captures this essence really well and this is why her solo is effective, because up until this time she hasn’t really had a presence. But she also seems to be the most loyal and faithful character in the whole show. I won’t touch on this in this review but will do so in the spoiler review. Overall, I was quite intrigued by this character and of course by Julia Koci’s delivery!

Caffarelli - Thomas Lichtenecker: This is the Herbert of this show. With that I mean, him being an absolute scene-stealer. We first see him in a scene where you can already suspect that he might come back and do some mischief. However, when he DOES get his big scene, holy shit! First of all, his costume is the most over-the-top thing of this entire show, and this is saying something because the majority of this show has a lot of over-the-top going for it! Thomas Lichtenecker is also amazing in this role. He isn’t on stage very much but when he’s there, you just know he’s there. 

Of course, there are some more cast members but these are the ones where I feel I can truly talk about in greater detail. Overall, the cast did not disappoint me!

The Story

The story is a mixed bag for me personally. When I look back on it, it sometimes feels like there were two versions of the show: a dark and serious one and an over-the-top crazy one and for the final version they were merged together. I know this isn’t true but it feels like it a bit. I mean, we’ve got dramatic and serious songs like “Sünder, du entkommst mir nicht”, “Lebenslange Haft” or “Komm, mein Kaiser” where you truly feel the tragedy and weight of Vivaldi’s life. But then we’ve got scenes that are just...weird. People who saw this show will know what I mean when I mention the sauna. But even those scenes are not all too bad. At certain parts though, the story felt a little too abstract to me. The main reason for me is the way characters are being handled throughout the show. In that, I mean that none of them really get a proper conclusion. I mean, they get A conclusion but it could have been so much more. The closest conclusion we get is that of Annina. Even Vivaldi himself just disappears offstage towards the end and his ultimate fate is revealed via quick exposition. My biggest issue though was Ruffo because we never really see him again after a certain moment. It just felt a bit like the creators were telling us: “Ah, you probably know what happened to these historical people anyway, so showing it to you on-stage would be unnecessary”. I personally didn’t. The only person I know for sure what happened to is Vivaldi. Everyone else...they just kinda left into obscurity. In pieces like Mozart or Elisabeth, we get to see what happened to the main characters. And if we don’t see their ultimate fate, we still see the ultimate character conclusion for this particular show. In Vivaldi, people just disappear from the stage to not be seen again eventually. Maybe I interpreted something wrong, but at the end, I had somewhat of a “...that’s it?” feeling. Even the ending comes a bit out of nowhere. It felt a bit like someone came to the creators mid-rehearsal and was like: “Guys, we’re about to close, can you hurry up?” Overall, the story is a mixed bag for me. It has its strong parts but ultimately, it left me a bit unsatisfied.

Costumes and Set

Costumes: THIS is where the weeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrd part of the show kicks in. Ok, imagine this: Take costumes from the classical opera, then add costumes from a rock opera, mix them together, get Tim Burton to direct the piece and make the final decision and there you have it. I thought Mozart! was going a bit extreme when combining History with modern day. Boy, was I not prepared for what I saw here XD This is taking modern-day weird costumes to a whole new level. Everyone has hairstyles like they’ve just visited the most hippy-like hairdresser in the country. Goldoni and Ruffo are the only two normal-looking people in the show. Everyone else...wow! I mean, it kinda fits the spirit of the musical but wow XD This is what I call over-the-top.

Set: The set design is actually quite decent in this piece. A lot of Vivaldi’s life is presented as a play within a play and thus they take full creative liberty with that. A lot of the set transitions look like stage-changes in a theatre, including backstage people coming out and carrying pieces on and off. We’ve got massive renaissance-like paintings setting some of the scenes and we’ve got reconstructions of actual places (especially the prologue and the ending have this). But I gotta give the set designers credit that they made sure to make every scene look different. 

Overall, the costumes are VERY weird and the set is quite nice to look at actually!

Music and Songs

Music: The music is actually one of the better parts of this piece. It is in many ways an experimental project, as it combines elements of classic opera with modern rock opera. Christian Kolonovits does manage to successfully intertwine those two...even to such an extent that this musical has been marketed via a pun: A BaRock Opera. That was...interesting to say the least. There was only one moment where I thought it was overdoing it a bit, and that was when Vivaldi’s Spring came up to be accompanied by heavy metal. It sounded like something from a YouTube cover video. But other than that, the orchestrations were really nice. And WOW, THAT is an orchestra, guys. Even the pit itself is gigantic but when I actually looked down to see how many people were playing instruments down there, I was very pleasantly surprised. This is how you orchestrate your piece, everyone!

Songs: The songs are also quite decent. Some of them really do get stuck in your head in the most positive way. My personal favourites are “Vivaldi rockt Vivaldi” (it’s a very catchy beginning, y’all!), “Lebenslange Haft” (another classic Drew song, where he gets the opportunity to properly show off), “Sünder, du entkommst mir nicht” (a kickass villain song for a very underused villain), “Scharlatan” (Goldoni’s golden moment and also a very catchy melody), “Die fünfte Jahreszeit” (Drew Sarich and Boris Pfeifer having a massive duet is amazing) and “Komm, mein Kaiser” (Drew really gets to show off his acting abilities in this one and this became my favourite song of the entire show because it’s not over-the-top or silly or overdramatic, it’s just one guy realising his fall from grace and increasing age, and it’s done so melancholic and simple, beautiful, if only more scenes were like this one). However, I do have one problem with them: SO. MUCH. REPETITION. I heard that that’s a thing on operas, that they repeat entire verses before wrapping up, but to me, it was more of an annoyance: after hearing about someone identifying themselves as an artist for FIVE times or so without hearing anything else, I am a bit annoyed. Seriously, like, some of the songs are 50% original, 50% repetition, aaaaaah XD But overall...the songs are actually really good, especially the ones that are not silly and over-the-top.

Overall

Overall, this is by no means my favourite musical. It just has a bit too many things that I personally don’t really prefer. Of course it’s great that it has gathered such a fanbase but I don’t really think I would like to see it again. However, I would like to buy the CD! When I’m actually not LOOKING at it but just LISTEN to it, I find myself liking it more. The cast is great and the music is great, I will definitely get the CD at some point in time! To everyone who hasn’t seen the musical yet: I would recommend checking it out as it really is one of the more “out there” shows. It’s one of the things you have to see in order to fully believe it. 

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter Anime Final Impressions

I was supposed to do this like two weeks ago but with Gundam ending so late and me getting swept up with many things, I didn’t have the time, but here’s a quick rundown of the best and worst of the Winter season. I’m gong from best to worst and also since I watched very few shows this season, I ‘m not gonna break them down in best/meh/worst

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen

A masterpiece to the very end, as heartbreaking as it was full of joy and love. There was this weird insinuation at the end that didn’t sit well with me at all and I’m not sure why they felt the need to do it, but I can overlook it because the rest of the picture is so wonderful and special and heart-wrenching. When Konatsu asked Yakumo to make her his apprentice, I actually cried. What a beautiful show. Don’t let the obscure antique Japanese art keep you from experiencing one of the best anime of this decade.

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto-hen

I was a bit worried about this one because lately, when an “old” show gets a sequel many years after it last aired, said sequel turns out underwhelming and poorly done. See D.Grayman HALLOW (which also adapted my favorite arc from that manga) and Berserk (production values aside, the decline of this is due to Miura’s gross storytelling, so I guess it was inevitable). But I was more than surprised and ecstatic to see this rendition of the Kyoto arc did justice on the source material, with excellent production values, a good pace and wonderful emotional and action scenes alike. AoEx is one of the finest examples of the battle shonen genre and that translated wonderfully to this new iteration of the anime. I can only hope we’ll see Izumo’s and Shura’s arc eventually too.

ACCA-13-ku Kansatsuka

I was a Little on the fence on this one at the start, but once they laid down all the cards and tied all the loose threads, it became absolutely amazing. I’m sorry I ever doubted you Natsume Ono, your ability to craft smart and fascinating adult stories shall never be questioned again. Definitely worth checking out if you want to try something different to your usual anime genres. Helps that the visuals are really interesting and that Mauve is such a bae. I still feel Jean was the weakest link with his absolute nonchalance, but even that somehow worked at the end. Definitely worth going through the somewhat slow initial episodes.

Yowamushi Pedal: New Generation

NGL i’m not a fan of Kaburagi, he’s so much like Naruko I don’t feel he adds anything to the team. But this is now officially the Teshima show and that compensates for the snooze that is Kaburagi because Teshima has become so fabulous and cool I’m just excited every week to see what he’ll do next. Also the First-year race was a true highlight and I’m very disappointed Sugimoto didn’t make the cut, they did a fantastic job in making him likable, so it was sad to see him lose. Hopefully he’ll get to assist Imaizumi when they’re 3rd years.

Little Witch Academia

This show’s a lot of fun, with really sweet animation and it also sports the Best Girl of the season, Sucy Manbavaaran, although I gotta say there were a bit too many fillerish episodes and it was frustrating to see them take so long to get the plot going. I’m not hating on the show, it is in fact extremely entertaining, but it’s a little lacking on the plot department. Hopefully we’ll get more of that on the second cour.

Classicaloid

I’ve never been happier of not quitting a show as I am about Classicaloid. By episode 3 I was on the verge of giving up because it wasn’t what I had expected, but I kept going and I ended falling so hard in love with this show I’m ecstatic it’s getting a second season. Once I embraced the absurdity, it became the best comedy of the season, and I honestly would watch Schubert’s fishy misadventures for 52 weeks a year. It’s an acquired taste for sure and not easy to recommend, but if you’re willing to let go of all reason, you’re sure to have a good time.

All Out!!

I have a lot of love for this show and its characters (and Sekizan’s ridiculous hair), but I’m afraid the pacing they chose basically doomed them because with the abysmal sales, it seems unlikely we’ll ever see a second season and therefore we’ll never get to see if Jinko does get to Hanazono. It’s a perfectly competent sports series, that does a really good job of developing its huge cast, definitely much better than the likes of Prince of Stride or DAYS, but its inconclusive ending is quite frustrating. I really do hope we get to see more of these boys, but Madhouse’s never been all that good with the whole getting-sequels-done so…

Kuzu no Honkai

In spite of its low ranking, this is actually a really good show and a unique take on teenage female sexuality that you wouldn’t normally see in this mostly sexist medium. Hanabi made for a truly interesting protagonist and I liked seeing her explore herself and her relationships. I was however quite disappointed by how little focus we actually had for Hanabi and Mugi’s relationship. I felt there was more telling than showing in that regard, especially in the latter half of the show. The ending was pretty good and mature in spite of everything, and as always, I’m just really fond of all the vaginal imagery in the ED animation. Could’ve done without Moca though.

Gundam: Tekketsu Orphans

At the end of the Fall season, I expressed my concern about pointless, meaningless deaths. Clearly the Gundam writers thought I wasn’t concerned enough because the amount of characters that died pointless deaths went on to, I think, the double digits. I wouldn’t have minded the carnage if there had been some sort of payoff to the sacrifices. For example, if Shino hadn’t stupidly and conveniently missed his one shot because the show couldn’t afford to kill Rustal yet. I always felt Orga, Mika and Akihiro had a ton of death flags looming over their heads, but I certainly didn’t expect all three of them to get to the chopping block. Orga’s death was particularly random and pointless, but then again, what they did with Orga in general was very confusing. That he agreed to McGillis’s sketchy propositions to become “king of Mars” never made a whole lot of sense to me and that’s the result we got. I’ll also never get over how creepy and weird the whole Atra giving Mika a baby thing was. In short, I have very mixed feelings about it.

Hand Shakers

I could write thousands of words for everything that was wrong with this series but I think it wouldn’t make justice to the absolute experience that is watching this amazing trainwreck. Go watch it to see a masterclass of how not to anime. Honestly I had such a good time hating this show, it was so horrible in every possible way. Good job GoHands, even animate, who sponsored this show, won’t give it any publicity.

Super Lovers

I’m not sure of how this production team managed to put out 20 episodes of nothing actually happen. Like you just have to give kudos to the writers for managing to simply not do anything over the course of 6~ hours of content. No drama, no decent comedy, no character development, not even relationship development in a BL romance. It’s kind of amazing how pointless the whole thing is. The dog’s still cute and the relationship is still creepy and gross and that’s about all there is to say about this.

Although most of the shows I watched turned out great, it did feel like a weaker season because there wasn’t that much that was interesting (my Wednesdays were literally empty). Or maybe everything looks lackluster in this post-Yuri on Ice world D: But there was Rakugo and rakugo is good and I’m glad we live in an age in which such a niche, quiet and adult artistic show could be made and tell a complete story.

[sarah--writes-blog]

Keith’s Galra Biology

Anon: (1/?)What kind of huge changes do u think keef will hafta get used to after he goes full galra? (I was reading your trio about it and wanted to know more ^_^)Personally, I think the eyes would be a big one...Like he can't see that well in normal lighting but when it's dark he has vision like a hawk! And then the ears too! Like he's more prone to motion sickness and the mice's squeaks make more sense...Then there's the problem of claws accidentally scratching everything and feet he's not used to!

(2/?) then there's the possibility of a tail, and getting used to that thing moving around and doesn't know control, and fur would be hard to live with when ur used ta plain skin!Especially when u hafta wear clothes over it and what if since his blood is different then it hurts his human heart? Argh so many angsty ideas!!! .·´¯`(^▽^)´¯`·. Another thing... you mentioned, allergies... Can you imagine if he was allergic to his own fur? Then that'd be terrible until he wasn't human at all anymore...

(3/3) so many things! Well sorry for nothing you! The post wanted anima so here I came to talk about sick fics ヽ❨｡^▽^｡❩┘

(cracks knuckles)

We have much to discuss.

I’m assuming when you said the trio, you meant Being Galra: Without You, Teeth and Diet. I have nine more pieces planned out for this series, and I wouldn’t hesitate to add more if the muse strikes me. I’m not gonna tell you what each of them is gonna be, but I will tell you that you hit the nail on the head in your first ask, and I will tell you that the next one is titled “Ears”. It just kept getting put on the back burner because I had requests I wanted to fill, and Being Galra was much more for me than anyone else so it could wait.

The thing about me is that I’m a selective perfectionist. Stuff that interests me and that I’m doing has to be perfect because that’s apparently who I am. And it kind of sucks. But in this context, it’s perfect, because I love Keith, I love biology, and I love fantasy/sci-fi creatures. Imma go down your list one by one Anon, we’re gonna have a grand ol’ time. This post is almost 2000 words long, you asked for it.

We’re gonna talk about the shit we know about Galra biology first. And by know, I mean what we can see.

Eyes. Absolutely, if Galra have night vision, his daylight vision would be much worse. And I’d believe Galra to have night vision to be somewhat canon, because of how goddamn dark all their ships are. Alternatively, since all their shit is purple, they could be seeing a different spectrum than we are (towards violet and ultraviolet). If Keith were to have that, he’d potentially lose some of his infrared and red vision if the size of the spectrum is the same. His suit and lion would be gray to him. I also like to consider the advanced biology option, where Galra are just more evolved and are better than humans in most ways. So he could have 20/20 day and night vision and see past the visible spectrum. But since he’s transforming and the human eye is the most complicated thing ever, any sort of change would probably warp his vision somewhat, making it worse than normal human and normal Galra vision. He’d probably end up with some form of astigmatism and have to wear glasses (can someone art that? I would like that to be art’ed).

Ears. Gotta give you props on this one for being more prone to motion sickness, I hadn’t considered that (me, a sickfic blog, go figure). I might wiggle that into the next piece if you don’t mind. I don’t think the mice’s squeaks would make more sense since they squeak in Altean? Mouse Altean? But they’d at least be a lot louder. I’m more worried about him and the ship. BIG-ASS SHIPS MAKE BIG-ASS NOISES. Maybe the other paladins would tune it out or get used to it, but he’d hear every little gear and crank moving in the vicinity. Not to mention, whenever an actually loud noise happens, his ear drum would have the potential of being completely shot. Again, he’d probably hear into the higher and lower spectrum. Something else to consider: ear muscles. We all like it when his ear twitches or moves to express his emotions, those new muscles would get sore fast. I remember learning to wiggle my ears, and they hurt.

Claws. Could we even call them claws? Maybe just nails? They wouldn’t come in with the initial transformation. They’d grow in afterward just with his nails. His nails would get thicker and thicker, and since I really doubt they have nail trimmers on board, he wouldn’t have any decent means to cut them without getting hella hangnails (and I personally headcanon Keith as doing anything he can to avoid hangnails because that shit hurts). So he’d let them grow. If they grow with him, he’d be able to adjust, and probably not scratch up things as much as he would if they were suddenly just there. It’s just like growing your own nails out, you get used to them as you go. This implies something interesting, though - nails are made of the same stuff hair is. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll correlate, but Keith’s hair could potentially be much thicker/rougher. Again, this would happen over time because his hair doesn’t just fall out.

Which brings us to Skin/Hair/Fur. This is the last thing we really know about, and we don’t even know all that much. There’s a lot of variation on Galra skin/hair/fur, etc. Ulaz has a lot less hair/fur than Thace or Kolivan, but that could be a personal preference of his. But he also has these white markings. The white markings could also be part of a Marmora thing, since Kolivan has them, and Thace wouldn’t because he’s a spy. But Ulaz also doesn’t have fluffy ears like Kolivan or Thace. There is no cookie-cutter Galra skin and hair/fur template that we could apply to Keith. But we see across the board that they have both. There’s a clear line on every Galra where the hairline begins. So Keith wouldn’t necessarily be sprouting fur everywhere, but he could certainly get a lot more when he already has it (interpret that however you like). Would he be allergic to this hair? Potentially. There are some instances where the body rebels against its own cells, and that would make life a living nightmare for him. Unless Coran has some wild antihistamines, he’s in for a bad time if he’s allergic to the fur. His skin might turn a shade of purple, and I personally like to think that different Galras have different shades of purple like humans have different shades of flesh color. He would probably lean towards a lighter purple because of the paleness of his skin in the first place. He might also adopt some white markings because he’s part of the Blades (which is also a thing I want to be art’ed). But the thing about skin is that your top layer is completely dead. He’d turn purple after a week or so, or he’d get incredibly itchy and exfoliate it all off in the shower at once.

So here’s Part 2. What we don’t know. And that can be more fun and more infuriating at the same time.

Tail. The only Galra we see with a tail is Antok, and we don’t even really see him. For all we know, he’s not Galra, and he’s just like Keith - a different species with a splash of Galra blood in him to awaken his blade. As fun as a tail would be, I don’t think that would happen. It’s not a staple of Galra biology that we’ve seen so far. But honestly? Give him a tail, I love that shit.

Feet. FEET HAVE BEEN BUGGING ME EVER SINCE S2E8. The suits on the Blades have room for what we could assume would be toe-claws, but the suits also have very decorative pieces all around - the eyepieces, the hoods, the boob-plates. Zarkon’s suit doesn’t have them. But Sendak’s suit looks like he might. Could it be a Blades thing to have room for claws for decoration? Sure. But I’d be willing to bet they have freaky Galra feet under there and I wanna see them bad. Maybe some Jurassic Park velociraptor shit, I’d really love that. That might necessitate a tail for balance, and would help explain Ulaz’s speed when we first meet him on the castleship. If Keith were to adopt these hypothetical feet, his bones would have to shatter and reform, or something like that. Do you remember that version of The Little Mermaid where it felt like every step was walking on glass? Talk to me about The Little Galra.

Allergies. The only one that I can think of that we can pull from canon is lactose. If we assume that Keith has some sort of Asian heritage (not really a lot of evidence except his name), and we assume that the Galra are very similar to our earth cats (again, not much evidence except the teeth and the fur), he’d have a really hard time with milk and other lactose products. But this is all assumption, so it goes in the unknown category. I’ve definitely played with the idea, I think it’s great, but there’s not a lot of things to back it up with. But if the Galra race as a whole can’t tolerate a certain material, it’s likely that would carry over as well. Keith may already have some allergies he has to manage. But consider the idea: Galras being allergic to humans somehow.

Other Internal Stuff. You mentioned blood, which is REALLY FASCINATING. Because bad shit happens when blood isn’t compatible. Even within human standards, the wrong type of blood in a transfusion can kill you. And I imagine Galra blood doesn’t abide by A/B/AB/O +/- rules. So I’d say the reverse of your idea might be true. His heart may physically change, but his blood may stay the same because otherwise blood changing types inside of him would kill him. Other internal organs, I’d LOVE to know about, but we haven’t seen any Galra sliced up and examined, and I don’t think we will. But any shift in any organ would be absolutely hellish to experience for our poor Keith. The same goes for bones and muscle. How dense is Galra bone? Do they have the same muscles as we do?

Other things I love to consider because I’m a HUGE NERD

Evolution of Galra. They’re clearly an advanced lifeform, I can only assume they evolved similarly to us from tiny microbes.

On that note, could they not be a carbon-based life form? They could be silicon-based, or any other element-based. In that case, Keith is FUCKED.

The sheer amount of food Keith would have to eat to keep up with this transformation, especially if he’s growing a tail and weird feet.

He really wouldn’t adopt any Galra mannerisms without being around Galra 24/7. In fact, he might stay away from those because he wants to prove he’s still human and part of the team in all that shit.

It’s very rare for species to be able to cross-breed and have a non-deformed child, much less an alien having enough human biology to birth a human child, assuming his mother was Galra and procreated by human means. That can link back to the evolution and the carbon-based life form thoughts. Legitimately tell me about Keith’s birth, I wanna know exactly what went down in that hospital room.

Galra genitalia, anyone? Keith would probably be infertile, no matter what junk he ends up with.

Brain rewiring for ANY of the traits mentioned above. New tail? Rewire. New ears and eyes? Rewire. If he has weird feet, he may have to learn to walk again.

Conclusion

This is why you don’t ask me about Galra Keith. You get about 2000 words at 1 am. I didn’t expect to write this much about one topic in one ask, but I had a hell of a time.

I totally left out some stuff that needs to be put into consideration. I actually purposefully left some thoughts out because I’m putting it in Being Galra. Is Being Galra going to be as comprehensive as this? Absolutely not, I just wanna put Keith in interesting situations.

Thank you for theorizing with me! If anyone else wants to yell with me about any of these topics or a topic I didn’t mention, please do!

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 10

THE 26/10/16 UPDATE

WOOOOOOO DOUBLE FUCKIN DIGITS YO. This is fantastic. So last time we left off, Dirk and Jake were gay and dumb. Now we are getting into the most anticipated interaction yet, Rosejade. Listen you people, you have no. idea how much I ship Rosejade. It ship it a l o t . . . Oh man it’s really cute. BUT Um YEAH LETS READ IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jesus christ this is too cute. Jade is so fucking happy to see Rose aaaaa.

And Rose is just like “jesus jade dont knock me over”

ROSE: -Oof. JADE: nice to see you rose!!!

YES. YES it is.

Oh my god help its too cute. I love their droopy lil pajama sleeves, it really makes this so much better and im not sure why.

ROSE: (... Nice to see you too, Jade.) JADE: bark!

Goddammit. Ok its clear I have a problem here, Jade is too fucking cute.

Alright thank goodness, those cute detailed panels were a little too much for me. John’s creeping in the background, and Dave’s hanging out with Karkat. Jade doesn’t seem happy?

JADE: (oh my god im so sorry) JADE: (i cant believe i just did that!) JADE: (thats so embarrassing...)

Jade shut up it was cute.

ROSE: (No harm done.) ROSE: (It’s endearing, in a way.) ROSE: (Though perhaps the charm might simply be a patented Jade Harley trait.)

God, YES. Now Rose is complimenting her, and its probably in a platonic sense considering she has a girlfriend but JEEZ I ship it.

ok I hope my shipping of this doesn’t come off as annoying.

JADE: ..dawwww! :) ROSE: (But you might want to keep your voice down.) ROSE: (I’m not sure why it’s become so quiet, but I am perfectly willing to preserve this lull in activity.) ROSE: (Especially in order to sustain the pleasant conversation we’re currently having.)

Yes it is very pleasant. Very very.

JADE: oh ok! JADE: whoops JADE: (i mean) JADE: (ok) ROSE: (Now that our vocal chords have been successfully wrangled, we can get right into the thick of it.) ROSE: (It seemed like you had something to ask me when you approached.) JADE: (oh um yes i did!) JADE: (but im kind of unsure how to ask...) ROSE: (In moments like these, I think the best advice I can give is to say “fuck it”.) ROSE: (And do it anyway.) JADE: :o

great advice Rose. NOW Jade, what did you have to ask? It’s probably gonna be something extremely platonic and irrelevant to my ships, but you know what I can dream.

JADE: (well geez when you put it that way!) JADE: (heh...) ROSE: (Well?) JADE: (oh right yeah) JADE: (soooooo)

hrnK help

Oh. Right, it’s the Earth. So what did you need to ask then? What would Rose know about the Earth?

JADE: (i was wondering what you thought we should do about the earth!) JADE: (john said that taking care of it is supposed to be my responsibility) JADE: (and looking at it right now... isnt it a bit more uh) JADE: (watery, than it should be?)

Yeah, it is quite watery. this is the post-scratch earth I believe, so that would make sense. I think, at least. I never know with all this time shit.

ROSE: (It certainly looks that way. It's just another unfortunate consequence of the scratch.) ROSE: (Though I think it might be a slight improvement over the barren ball of basalt our earth became after that cataclysmic meteor shower.) ROSE: (We’ll just have to make do.) JADE: (so thats it then?) JADE: (we just) JADE: (give earth an orbit around a new star or something) JADE: (and find an island to live on?) ROSE: (That does seem a suitable course of action.) ROSE: (We might want to do something about all that ocean, though.) ROSE: (At the very least to make the planet somewhat more aesthetically pleasing. Sprinkle a few continents here and there, you know.) ROSE: (No offense, but one measly island will doubtless get boring after a while.) ROSE: (Let alone be capable of housing what will hopefully one day be a thriving multi-species civilization.)

Oh yeah, there’s gonna have to be a lot more land for all that LIFE. Do they have a way of making more land though? It’s probably not gonna be a problem, it’ll just be interesting to see how they do it I guess.

JADE: (hehehe!) JADE: (i guess youre right about that!) JADE: (although...) JADE: (i kind of wonder about all of our planets here in the medium) ROSE: (What about them?) JADE: (i went through all that trouble to bring them here, and now were just gonna leave them behind?) JADE: (why dont we bring them along?) JADE: (personally im a little attached! :P) ROSE: (Personally, I would rather not.) JADE: (aw) JADE: (well why?)

But Rooose, your land is so pretty! How would you just give that up?

ROSE: (They’re essentially just an overly grandiose and complicated puzzle designed for preteens, presented as personalized celestial bodies.) ROSE: (Some of them even have giant snakes inside them. Ew.) JADE: (pfffft)

pfffft. Those snakes were awesome. And even if they are just a puzzle, that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate what they are aesthetically! I mean, come on Rose. You gotta stop resenting things for what they’re supposed to be! 

JADE: (wow rose i sure did miss you a whole lot)

8D

JADE: (you always have such a smart and funny way of putting things!) JADE: (but will the denizens really still be there if we take them with us?) ROSE: (It was a joke, Jade. One of the many that I dole out on a regular basis, as the shrewd yet whimsical person you say I am.) ROSE: (They’ll likely vanish once we exit the game for good, whether we bring them through to the new universe or not.) ROSE: (They’re game constructs. I can’t see them serving much purpose past the end credits, so to speak.)

Wellll, I don’t know about that! I mean, yeah, they are game constructs and all. But like all the consorts, I think it’s safe to say they’re sentient as well! Sooo... Hm. Why would Jade’s Denizen have wanted her to take them all in the first place? I mean, to save them from Jack I suppose, but what’s the point if they would die from the big “your winner” screen at the end anyways?

JADE: (oh... well that makes me wonder) JADE: (what about the sprites? theyre game constructs too right?) ROSE: (That is a decent point.)

That IS a decent point. I dont wanna lose Jasprose or Davepeta.

Also. Has anybody wondered if there could be a Jasprovepeta^3? Because THAT, would be pretty great.

ROSE: (The kernels, at the very least, are absolutely nothing more than game constructs. They are a core mechanic of the game in their relationship with the maturity of the battlefield and the power of the black and white monarchs, and they don’t even have consciousness.) ROSE: (The sprites, however... well.) ROSE: (I’m not sure.) ROSE: (It’s highly likely they’ll be able to continue existing indefinitely, all things considered.) ROSE: (Though ultimately, it’s up to them whether they’d like to take a stab at life beyond Sburb.)

Well I dont see why they wouldn’t! Aside from maybe Erisol.

Pfft

ROSE: (Hopefully at least ONE of them will remain here.) ROSE: (Far, far away.) ROSE: (Never to be seen again.) ROSE: (Or be mourned.) ROSE: (At all.) ROSE: (Ever.) JADE: (um???) ROSE: (Nevermind that.)

NO dammit, Jasprose cannot stay behind. She needs to continue to exist and be part of this story because she’s greAT! Though she did say she was no longer interested...

JADE: (okay well) JADE: (im still kind of unsure about all this...) ROSE: (We’ll figure it out, Jade. There’s really not much to worry over.) JADE: (well... what about uh) JADE: (repopulation?) ROSE: (Like I said. We’ll figure it out.) ROSE: (Some ectobiology will likely be involved.) ROSE: (Which we will all be able to discuss as a group when the time comes.) ROSE: (Rather than right this second.)

Something wrong Rose? You’re kinda seeming a little impatient.

JADE: (um...) JADE: (rose, im sorry, i dont mean to make you mad)

Oh, Jade noticed too

ROSE: (I’m not mad.) JADE: (you seem a little mad!) ROSE: (*sigh*)

Out with it, Rose. Tell us what’s going on in that brain of yours.

JADE: (i just really want make sure i do my job right) JADE: (im supposed to make sure we all have a proper place to live!!) ROSE: (You’ll do just fine, Jade. You’ve always done your best at every task you’ve tackled, and what small miracles you can accomplish with hardly any effort are a reflection of how truly capable you are. We all have faith in you.)

Oh jeez.. Is it just me, or is Rose kinda seeming resentful towards Jade’s achievements. I hope that’s not the case.

JADE: (thanks, but...) JADE: (is everything okay?) JADE: (you dont sound all that enthusiastic) JADE: (did i do something wrong?) ROSE: (No, no.) ROSE: (This is all me.)

Come on rooose, tell us

ROSE: (I missed you Jade, I really did. But seeing you again now brings back unpleasant memories.) JADE: (oh) JADE: (you mean like your mom...?) ROSE: (Less the incident itself and more the horrifically immature child I behaved like back then.) ROSE: (Never was my childishness more apparent than with how I treated you.) JADE: (what! what do you mean?)

Hmm... thinking back at it, Rose sort of did treat Jade as just this object of mystery. Dave was always suspicious of her too, but Rose was seemingly always trying to point out when Jade said something that didn’t add up.

ROSE: (I was never a very good friend to you, Jade.) ROSE: (There were, and perhaps still are, some things about you that made me feel...) ROSE: (Insecure.)

Hmmm again.. I could understand insecurities in the past, but now Rose is practically on the same level as Jade. Is it a personality thing? because that doesn’t seem likely.

ROSE: (And, well. I was very petty, and allowed myself to wallow in jealousy while shoehorning you into another of my many imagined rivalries.)

Oh, damn. I guess I should have suspected something like that, considering how competitive Rose really can be when it comes to just about anything.

JADE: (you were jealous?) JADE: (of me???) ROSE: (You were bubbly and cheerful. Genuinely likeable, unlike me. Legitimately smart, where I more often than not felt the need to pad my intellect with random facts I learned on the internet. You had a multitude of talents and seemed to be able to do almost anything with hardly any effort.) ROSE: (Not to mention, I was under the impression you could see the future.)

DammIT, this is a large part of the reason I wanted them to interact. there was so much misunderstanding between them before, and once Rose finally knew how Jade did the things she did, it just went.. unmentioned.

JADE: (oh yeah... ugh, i thought i was soooo smart :\) JADE: (just thinking about all those dumb vague hints i used to drop makes me cringe!!)

I mean, it’s not like you didn’t always do what was best for your friends. Come on! You gotta feel a little smug when you understand all of the complicated bullshit about sburb. Even though you didn’t, in the end. you still thought you did. Plus you were 13. Nowhere near as mature as you are now. Which I suppose can be said for everybody, really.

JADE: (i totally get it, rose. im really sorry!) ROSE: (Please, don’t be.) ROSE: (Without the haze of envy blotting my vision I can see you for the charming, likeable, caring girl you really are and always have been.)

AGh, dammit this is putting me back into shipping mode nO!

ROSE: (I’d like to think I’ve done at least SOME maturing over the last three years.) ROSE: (Now I’m the smug one with clairvoyance. My, how the tables have turned.) JADE: (welllll...) JADE: (you were always a LITTLE bit smug :P) ROSE: (Oh, only a little?) ROSE: (You flatterer.)

fuCKINg. KISS.

Ah, shit. thats the end of their interaction. NEXT UP, we goooot... Calliope and Jane! Sweet. And as it seems to be the pattern we are following, we get a sneak peek at their conversation in this update.

JANE: (Pssst!) JANE: (Callie!)

And that’s it. ALRiGHT, sNEAK PEEK OVER.

This was a really fun Rosejade conversation though. We got to learn more about how they felt about eachother in the past, and how those feelings have changed since. And not to mention, some plot details on the plans for the new Earth.

And since I still suck at ending these things, ten parts in, ill seeya next time. might be today again, whon knows. maybe ill go for 5 updates in one day.

[baekthecorgi]

what goes around, comes around (chanyeol) word count: 1515 w. genre: romance, angst, post breakup au summary: in which one of your grandma’s birthday wishes was to see you with chanyeol, your recent ex-boyfriend. oops?

“Stop pacing around! For god’s sake, just tell the damn boy!” Your best friend pressed her fingers on her temple, rubbing it in a circular motion. With a huff, you settled down right beside her on the couch. You weren’t very flexible in vocalizing your feelings or in your case, inviting your ex to your grandma’s birthday party.

She crossed her legs and propped an elbow on the top side of the couch. “I’m sure he’ll understand. I mean, Chanyeol basically adores your grandma. He wouldn’t mind being there at the party.”

“You did tell your grandma that you and Chanyeol have broken up, didn’t you?” She asked in a confident tone, eyebrows raising as she waited for your response.

“Um, yeah, about that...”

Your best friend groaned in frustration. When her reflex kicks in, she starts grabbing things near to her and fortunately, it was a throw pillow. “It’s been almost three months, girl! How can you not tell your family about the break-up?”

“They love Chanyeol!” You exclaimed, dodging the pillow she threw. “It would break their hearts if they knew about it.”

“Who are you kidding?” She started crawling to your side of the couch before poking your forehead. “You still love Chanyeol and it still breaks your heart because you can’t accept that you two are over.”

Tears were threatening to stream down your face but your best friend was right. You do still love the guy and acceptance wasn’t just running through your mind back then, even right now. Chanyeol gave you so much precious memories to cherish that forgetting them, forgetting him, was the last thing on the list.

“One way or another, you gotta move on. You have to move on.”

Your heart sank at your best friend’s words. She fished out your phone from your body bag. At first, you hesitated on dialing his number, thinking on what you were going to say. Should you ask him how are things going? Should you say hi or hello but hell, you know whatever you were gonna say is gonna sound awkward.

“This is the best chance of closure you have. Don’t screw it up.”

You gulped at her words before pressing the call button. Your hands started perspiring when a deep, baritone voice greeted your ear. It’s the same husky voice that whispered sweet nothings to your ear. It’s the same voice that said, “I love you” more than a thousand sunsets. But it’s also the same voice that muttered a quiet, “I’m sorry” when you decided to walk out the door.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

You have no idea why you were now in a convenience store, searching for junk food and soda for a road trip to your grandma’s house. With Chanyeol. Yes, that Chanyeol. Your ‘well-loved by your family and friends’, ex-boyfriend extraordinaire, Park Chanyeol.

You had to admit. You haven’t had a decent road trip up until now. You haven’t showed up to one family gathering for the last three months. Every event you attended back then, you had Chanyeol with you. But it seems now would be the last time to have him by your side.

As you were shoving various food down your basket, you spotted your favorite chocolate. Chanyeol used to buy it when you were feeling upset with things. A momentary need to add it to the list of items in your basket was felt but your hand stopped halfway. This trip should be a road to closure, not a trip down to memory lane.

“That would be ten dollars,” the cashier said as a the register noise reverberated around the store.

You were about to hand out the payment when Chanyeol placed another item on the flat surface. His height towered over you as you looked up at him before turning to see what he added.

“I remember you liked this chocolate, and I know it’s kinda wrong or whatever, but I couldn’t not buy it for you.” He pointed out, his lips pursed in a thin line.

“Shit,” you mumbled under your breath.

Chanyeol looked over the passenger’s side to the sight of you clumsily wiping tissue on the soda stain on your white blouse. Out of all the days you had to wear your blouse, why was this the perfect day to spill soda on it? Not to mention, right in front of your ex.

“Still clumsy, I see?” Chanyeol grinned, his line of sight completely focus on the road. “Do you have an extra shirt? I have one at the back.”

Your eyes twinkled in wonder. Your voice faltered a bit but you eventually found your grip. “Who’s is it?”

Chanyeol snapped his head towards your direction. You averted your attention to the view outside so you could avoid his gaze. “It’s my sister’s.”

You replied with a small “oh”. “I actually have an extra but--”

“That’s okay, I won’t look. I’ve seen it all anyway.” Chanyeol teased, earning a few shy giggles from you and a blush creeping its way to your cheeks.

You proceeded on changing your blouse. True to his words, Chanyeol kept his eyes on the road. The one you changed into was an oversized shirt. Needless to say, it was your favorite.

Chanyeol couldn’t help but side-glance at you even just for a quick minute. A small smile plastered on the latter. It was rather charming how Chanyeol’s dimples were placed perfectly on his face. He began, “That’s my shirt.”

You glanced down and it was, indeed, his shirt. Now this would just make the situation worse. It would seem like you were giving him a signal that you weren’t completely over him (you really weren’t), and you wouldn’t want that.

“Do you want it back?” 

You whipped your head to the driver’s side, only to find his eyes crinkled and a soft smile accompanying it. “Nah, it always looked better on you.”

The party was a blast despite being celebrated by an eighty year old. There were so much interactions between your family and Chanyeol that it very much overwhelmed you. You had to tell them someday, but not today. Your grandma might get a heart attack when she finds out the truth and you avoided that effect at all costs.

Loud pitter-pats of raindrops fell heavily on the roof. Your grandma convinced you and Chanyeol to stay the night over at her house as driving back to Seoul was perilous at this time of the night. The heavy rain added enough reason to accept her offer. There was an extra room fit for two guests. Requesting a carpet and another set of thick comforter would draw questions from your grandma.

You and Chanyeol were a couple and it was only natural to sleep in one bed. At least, after three months again.

The two of you had your backs to each other, refusing to lay on your backs instead. It’s been a while since the two of you slept in one bed, under one roof.

You shouldn’t be saying this right now but you called him out. “Chanyeol.”

He responded, “I thought you were asleep.”

“I missed this,” you finally gave into your feelings. Taking a deep breath, you sighed, “I missed you. I missed us.”

You know you shouldn’t get your hopes up but you couldn’t take your mind off his words that he said earlier that day. You weren’t sure if he was leading you on or he was just being the cocky Chanyeol you seldom encountered back in your relationship. 

The best way to get some closure was to let out everything that’s been long kept in your mind and heart. Closure is accepting rejection once the words hidden at the back of your mind passed by your lips.

You slowly rolled your body to the other side. Surprised, you backed away a little as his face was dangerously lurking close to yours. His soft gaze never left your face the moment you turned to him. A few centimeters and his pink lips would have found yours.

“Is there a chance you’d ever come back?” You questioned as your eyes slowly closed. Your heart readied itself to be crashed into a million pieces once again.

His hand emerged from under the blanket, making its way to your cheek. His thumb rubbed invisible shapes. You found yourself leaning more into his palm. 

“Just ask me to stay.”

You felt your heartstrings tug, heightening your senses to the maximum level. Even in the dark, you saw colors swirling around the room. Hearing those words made something burst inside of you that it spread hope all across your thoughts.

Opening your eyes, tears finally escaped from it. “I never stopped loving you, Chanyeol. Will that make you stay?”

“More than you will ever know, babe.”

You never had a sweeter kiss than this.

--

note: okay so maybe missing 9 and chanyeol wasn’t such a great idea ;A; i have pcy feels all over again send help | masterlist

[smoothshift]

Car Enthusiast Buys a Tesla Model 3 Performance: It's an Electric Muscle Car via /r/cars

Car Enthusiast Buys a Tesla Model 3 Performance: It's an Electric Muscle Car

TL:DR: At its core, the car is a stereotypical amercian muscle sedan, but electric. And I think it’s quite cheap for what it is.

  Let me preface this with a warning that in the text below I likely offended plenty of car enthusiasts and Tesla fans in some way. I apologize for that, these are just my personal views.

  I’m your stereotypical car enthusiast. The latest eight new/used performance cars I’ve had were all stick-shift and either RWD or Turbo-AWD. A few were hatches/wagons. The last few were all RWD. Over the years I also co-drove a bunch of other fun cars (and lots of Miatas) at autox. I’ve had my Chevy SS for 4+ years now, and only recently got the itch for a new performance car to dailydrive. I ‘normally’ get the itch after less than two years, so the SS was/is pretty awesome. The new car had to be not slower than my SS and feel different/special enough to justify the switch. See the bottom for a list of cars I cross-shopped.

  I was thinking of a BEV for a while. With the nearest Tesla service center 170 miles away I never really considered one. Until May, when a new service center opened in Toledo, OH, just south of the Michigan border and like 30 minutes away from me. Once I learned that, I made an appointment for a ‘demonstration’ drive in Troy, MI. Drove a base Model 3 with ‘premium’ interior and a dual-motor 90(?) KWh Model S to get a sense of acceleration and was sold. Ordered a black Model 3 Performance (P3D is how people call it on Tesla forums), with white seats and no extra ‘full-self-driving’ vaporware for an extra $6k. Picked it up about a week ago and drove it home from Cleveland. Been driving it every day since, have about 500 miles already.

Obligatory picture.

  A perfect one-liner to describe it to an enthusiast: an electric muscle car. And I mean it in the stereotypical sense, ignoring good handling the Camaro/Mustang have these days. The best thing about the P3D is its acceleration/launch. It’s effortless, quite violent, repeatable, pretty thrilling (gotta make sure to have empty-ish stomach), and very usable in regular driving. For the money, it’s a ridiculous bargain. All the new cars I’ve tested in the price range are slower in a straight line. For all of them, to get their stated street acceleration you’d be risking ‘reckless-driving’ tickets for tire squeal/slip on launch. The rest of the car is okayish (to the point of me thinking getting a tacky license UMichigan plate that’d say Mehsla). Fit and finish is just passable (just like a lot of muscle cars), handling is decent but not spectacular, and the tires won’t last long if pushed. The basic autopilot I got is nice for highway cruising behind a truck on a nice sunny day to save electricity, but I wouldn’t trust it with anything else. The “self-driving capability” gives you enhanced autopilot which will change lanes by itself. I got to try it briefly on my test-drive and it was scary at how cautious and undecisive it was. I am virtually certain there will be no ‘robotaxis’ based on Model3s in a year. Not doable w/o plenty of LIDARs.

  But the way the P3D slingshots from a stop makes a long list of minor annoyances (see below) kinda irrelevant. Now, people do get used to power. So, it’s possible that I’ll miss the noise of a V8. But at this point I’m not so sure. Think about why car enthusiasts are attached to the noise. Probably because racecar. Those have free flowing exhausts to go faster. But if you can go faster w/o the noise in the EV should you be attached to the noise? If so, just buy a Harley. Don’t get me wrong, I still like a nice exhaust since that preference got engrained deep into my brain over the years, but I think I’m gonna be fine w/o the engine noise in a car that’s fast w/o it. I’d prefer to have more responsive/communicative steering before the noise.

  I’m not a Musk apologist, neither I’m a Tesla corporate fan. Probably closer to the opposite. At the moment I think the Tesla may not survive the next recession+stock market downturn on their own. So why did I buy one? Mostly because I think that at the moment TSLA stock investors are basically subsidizing Tesla customer prices. If Tesla had to stand on their own and show consistent profit margins, P3D-level performance would be a lot more expensive. Look at Audi/Jag new EV offerings. Slower/heavier/shorter range, tens of thousands of $$ more expensive. I took this as a sign of things to come: once Tesla brand gets acquired by a larger manufacturer, prices will likely go up because that’s what people pay for this level of performance from established manufactures. So, if you’re in a position to buy it, there’s a service center near you, and you have a warm garage (or live where there’s no real winter), go schedule a test drive, you might be surprised. Having another car as a back-up is a plus though.

  I don’t want to make this a super-long post, so here's just a bunch of random points about the Model 3, some from an enthusiast’s point of view I haven't seen covered much:

Little need to warm-up before flooring it, at least during the three warm seasons, unlike normal cars which need 5-10 minutes to warm the engine/transmission oil (there’s still the differential fluid to warm up though)

The ‘Performance’ model is really all about straight line acceleration, especially the launch.

Almost no camber stock

No way to add more with stock hardware, no aftermarket hardware other than lowering springs or coilovers to pick up some much needed camber.

As a result, tracking/autox-ing requires stupid-high tire pressures not to kill tires very quickly, but they will still die just regular-quickly

Very limited aftermarket suspension options

Not much clearance to upper control arm for wider tires/more camber while staying close to stock offset.

Not much space in the wheel well to go wider w/o killing paintwork by having the wheels stick out.

Thick stud bolts, so many popular aftermarket wheels might not fit, despite a popular 5x114.3 bolt pattern. Weird shape of rear calipers that limits wheel choices further.

Has bigger Brembo brakes though.

Only tried the ‘track mode’ a handful of times yet. It’s a bit detrimental to street acceleration, and brake vectoring makes the turn-in a bit livelier. Haven’t pushed it yet.

Handling is pretty good, especially for the weight. It feels less heavy than my SS with Magneride in Track mode. The wheel has nice weight and very quick ration, but very little feed back. But you can hear the tires. The first time you hear those work the turn is a revelation previously muffled by engine noises.

It's pretty comfortable even with 20” wheels. Low center of gravity means the springs can be softer w/o much body roll.

The 20” wheels are reportedly very prone to bending, looking to change those out soon.

I find myself driving it in a lot more relaxed manner w/o the engine growling me on.

Doing interior mods with the car plugged in/music playing/AC on is nice. In a regular car it’d require hooking up a battery tender and would still be no AC.

There's a considerable amount of condensation from battery thermal management and A/C. Make sure your garage drains work well.

Seats are fine for me. Felt a bit tight at first, but all good now. It may be a problem for bigger butts. Feels like driver’s seat has a hair more lateral support than my Chevy SS (low bar to surpass). Not performance seats in any way.

Pretty decent adjustable (in/out up/down) lumbar support.

Pre-warming/cooling the car via the app is nice.

Regen braking will come natural to stick-shift drivers. Feels just like driving in 2nd-3rd gears. Lift off the gas and the car slows deliberately but not too aggressively. There’s also a setting to make this feel more like a typical automatic car with some loss of efficiency.

Order to delivery was barely 10 days. Felt weird, in an instant gratification kind of way, after having to generally wait months for my recent new cars.

Rear visibility is pretty poor. Excellent view out of the front, however. No dash really opens up a lot of space for the eye.

  Annoyances:  

Automatic emergency braking and Emergency Lane Departure assist needs to be disabled every time you drive. I hope there’s a software fix to this at some point.

Software bugs. Had to reboot the screen a few times already. Those were while parked, but still annoying. But in general tablet for an interface doesn’t bother me at all. The software in generaly is pretty polished and intuitive.

Paint quality. Looked okaish at delivery. After washing the wax away, it was terrible. Caked in water spots on most of the hood (but not elsewhere). Spent whole Saturday polishing. Only got it to ‘passable’. Orange peel level is again similar to some of the Detroit products.

Jacking it up would be a pain w/o a lift. It only has 4 designated jacking spots, so no clue how one would jack one wheel and put a jack stand in there at the same time.

The car does not come with a spare, nor is there an inflator kit.

No seat ventilation/cooling. Seats can get pretty warm.

No ‘basic’ cruise control, only the ‘traffic aware’ one, which will come up on someone doing 10 under and sit there.

  Today is the last day of my 7-day return window, and I’m keeping it. Just for reference, if one wanted to return, it could take 1-2 months to get their money back from Tesla. If one wanted a replacement car in that time, they’d likely have to get a new loan with their financial institution.

  Now I just have to make sure not to get rear-ended. Cause that could lead to 2-4 months of wait for replacement body parts. Statistically, it’s a 2-3% probability event in a given year. I hope the situation improves in the future.

  I’m definitely keeping my S2000 for raw feel and top-down driving. Not sure on the SS. It’s too nice to keep it as a winter back-up car.

  For reference, here’s what I looked at before pulling the trigger on a Tesla: I’ve looked at a bunch of different slighly used C7 Corvettes. Non-Z06 ones didn’t feel different enough from my SS to justify giving up two doors for. The Z06 is awesome, but the power is not really usable below 40-60mph. It’s a waste of a car to daily it. The GT350 was the frontrunner for a while, but in the end it’s conceptually very similar to the SS with just a different noise (heavenly, yes). Also, living in Michigan, I see a least a couple GT350s every day. The ZL1 looks/visibility are not my cup of tea. The M3/4 is nice, but the sound they make during warm-up absolutely turns me off. I’d also want to do a euro-delivery if I were to get one, but doing that right now exposes one to risks of tariffs going up on euro cars over the next few months. Those are also quite a bit more expensive in livable configs. The M2c is somehow too small and too heavy for a compact car at the same time. If it was available as a hatch I’d own it already though. That pretty much exhausted my stick-shift options. Then I decided to widen the search to sigh automatics. I’ve looked at discounted new MY18 Alfa Quadrifoglios (got a CEL during a test-drive, lol), Audi TT-RS (the dealer wouldn’t let me launch it, naturally. It felt fast but not crazy fast otherwise, probably the most similar car in straight line performance). Also tried the G70 Sport. It’s pretty nice, but not for the price they are asking. I’ve tried a Hellcat Charger, and the 392 Charger a while back. Those are nice, but I’d rather supercharge my SS instead. Same feeling about the ATS-V. Throwing a blower on the SS was starting to look like a plan until I test-drove a Tesla. I was thinking of an electric car to daily for a while. In Michigan, GM doesn’t offer much in a way of sweet Bolt lease deals they have in Cali, and even for a recently-discounted prices I couldn’t get over how slow it is other than off the line. Didn’t consider the new Audi/Jag EVs, too expensive, too slow, too heavy.