#and just let my main blog die as it has been anyways

[tnkisu]

the way i always forget to post art on here im about to queue a bunch of art to post over the next few days now lmaooo 

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Today is the day!!! Happy Public School Arc anime premiere day!!!

<3

[angllqvr]

“you smoke?”

word count: 828

paring: mechanic!abby x reader, quick lil drabble inspired by this

warnings: smoking, no outbreak!au not proofread

a/n: posting fanfics on the main blog might be a thing now?? woah, okay i hope this is decent bc i don’t write fluff 😭🙏 enjoy mwah

abby huffed as she pushed herself out from underneath the car she’d been working on, wiping her forehead off as it was covered in sweat. the oil of the car staining her already light grey tank top as she used her left hand to fan herself off. “fuck, it gets hot down there.” she chuckled to herself before grabbing a rag from the floor and gently dabbing it over her face.

she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye, she wanted to call out but before she even could say anything you had walked into sight. “hey, i just thought you could use a drink. looks like hard work.” you flash her a smile before holding out a bottle of water in front of her.

“i could douse myself in this right about now,” she chuckles. “you really do come in clutch sometime’s don’t you?” that evokes a smile from you as you let an airy laugh past your lips. “i suppose i do. i’m glad you aren’t opposed.” you flash a smile at her as she twists open the bottle cap and chugs the entire thing in .2 basically seconds.

“you look really pretty under there, ya know? when you’re working. you get so, like… immersed. it’s cute.” abby raises an eyebrow at you. “it’s my job, i have to focus.” she laughed— she genuinely let out a laugh. maybe at how stupid your comment was, but a laugh nonetheless. abby fucking anderson laughed at your “joke.” she found you amusing, which felt almost unbelievable.

she leaned against the car she was previously working, eyeing you up and down. the way your shorts clung to your hips so nicely, your shirt being just the right amount of tight. you looked so pretty.

you give her a smile, eyeing her yourself. particularly her muscles, how sweaty she was and how they looked so good like that. her toned arms nearly gleaming in the sunlight. the sun itself wrapping it’s way around her body outlining her silhouette. you felt your face getting hotter as you stared.

“you okay? you’ve been staring?” abby states as you quickly snap out of it and get absolutely embarrassed. “oh! i um… i just thought you looked good.” you muttered, trying to save yourself from embarrassment.

“a-anyways… uh, how was the water?” ‘what the fuck?’ you mentally cursed yourself because who the hell would bring up water… as a conversation starter…? oh god. she literally thinks you’re a loser, she’s probably holding back an entire laughing fit.. why’d you say that?

abby digs around in her pocket before pulling out a pack of marlboro reds, flipping the lid open and taking out a cigarette before placing it in her mouth and digging around in her pockets for a lighter. “shit, i forgot my lighter. you got one?” you nod, walking over next to her as you took the lighter out and flicked it on, holding it to the cigarette gently placed between her lips.

she slumps down onto the ground, looking up at you- almost as if she wanted you to sit down with her. you got the memo and smiled softly as you sat next to her. “you smoke?” you shake your head. “no, thanks though.” she nods.

she leaned her head on the top bumper looking up at the sky before she takes a long drag of her cig. her eyes glance over to you, a small smile forming on her lips which was only visible to herself.

you look over at her, scanning her face. your eyes going from her eyes to her lips. she has oil and grease stained on her face, you noted. you bring your thumb up to her cheek to wipe it off smiling at her. she doesn’t say anything, instead taking another inhale of her cigarette while staring back at you.

“you’re pretty.” you mutter under your breath, thumb still glued to her cheek as you gently wiped away all the greese stained on random parts of her face.

she chuckles, putting her cigarette out on the ground before flicking it in a completely other direction. her entire attention now focused on you. “you’re staring again.” she remarks, you rolling your eyes at the blatantly obvious observation. thanks abby.

“i’m well aware, but so are you.” before you know it she’s leaning in closer towards you, you feel your heart skip a beat, her hands going to cup your jaw as she pressed her lips against yours. you smile into her lips, wrapping your arms around her broad shoulders. you could taste the former smoke coming off her, it made you shutter. you just ignored it.

she breaks the kiss a few seconds later, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. you smile and away from her before letting out a soft chuckle. “you wanna go for coffee after this?” abby questions, you nod eagerly.

“i’d love too.” “good.”

[yuukei-yikes]

Long as hell text post under the cut my guys

me when i wake up and talk every day about the same shit. heart <3 i could talk for days abt jin and the misogyny he writes with. it's everywhere of course lol but out of the female characters takane's like…. the most tragic, in my opinion, because she's the only female character to have absolutely 0 backstory. yes, there's Some stuff, such as her illness, but truly takane does not have that much angst surrounding her illness. everything about her is rather about haruka. takane's moment is yuukei yesterday, but yuukei yesterday is entirely about both haruka and takane and their relationship. yes it's takane's pov, but it's ultimately still about… haruka, and how she feels about him.

back then in the fandom, pre over the dimension specifically, there was a take going around i remember pretty well. "people write haruka and takane like there's nothing more to them than being in love with each other" like the only time we'd see haruka and takane specifically (in fan content), they'd just be there to be shippy. i TOTALLY agreed with this sentiment and i always have, especially because i've always been obsessed with them as characters and i was overanalyzing every little thing (when otd came out i was over the moon bc i got so much stuff right btw. if u even care)

HOWEVER. if u think about it. pre over the dimension, with the manga having covered yuukei yesterday already and the next time takane (and haruka) appear as themselves in the manga is A LOT later in volume 10 (by that time, otd was already out) (also i'll get to takane in 2nd manga route in a second), so what we had at the time, for haruka and takane's backstory, was manga&novel yuukei yesterday and what we got from the anime. if you consider this… truly, at first the only thing to go off really was. just their relationship. that was all there was to both of them, because haruka was described from takane's pov, and everything we got from takane was how she felt for haruka. that was IT. for everything else u had to read between the lines like i was doing bc 10 years later i'd still be here talking about it teehee

of course there are also the songs. takane's songs set in time before she's ene are yuukei yesterday and of course headphone actor, one of the Best kagepro songs dont even come AT ME anyways headphone actor as a song touches THE OTHER BIG THING we were offered about takane at the time. okay, she isn't JUST in love with haruka. the other thing about takane is… she wants to SURVIVE!!!

i've talked about this LOADS of times i know (about this entire thing actually but i just like talking about also it's my blog) takane gets opening eyes because she's so determined to live. ratio + this from novel 2 headphone actor

which brings me to. ugh. second manga route. takane….would not…. KILL HERSELF…. second manga route WHY. we finally get to see Takane again in the manga and she's just so spectacularly NOT HERSELF it's crazy. takane since her INTRODUCTION is presented as "selfish" and how her want for attention from haruka or in general gets the best of her. that's ene. THAT'S ene!!! that's also why ENE stays with shintaro!!! it is FUNDAMENTAL to her character. we were given miserably little about her and in the most simplified way to put it, those things are: takane 1. is an attention whore<3 2. doesn't want to die. so tell me. how do you manage to get these 2 very simple things so incredibly WRONG in second manga route.

where in the world would takane get mad haruka got another friend. it makes NO sense!?!? bro haruka and shintaro ARE ALSO BEST FRIENDS IN THE MAIN ROUTE, where takane ACTUALLY HAS REASONS TO ACTIVELY REALLY DISLIKE SHINTARO, and she doesn't give a fuck that they're friends, why would she randomly care so much now when she has no reason to even dislike shintaro? so basically because she doesn't have ayano she gets jealous and wants haruka all to herself?? erm ok?? let's say that's true (it's not), even if she was jealous of shintaro her desire to be by haruka's side WILL be stronger, she would NEVER just turn around and leave. absolutely NOT. one of the stupidest things takane does is want haruka to look her way so bad she doesn't realize HE'S DYING ON HER. this bitch is so insanely self centered she would never in her life walk out on haruka just for having another friend. REAL takane walks in there with that stupid basket and be like Everyone look at me NOW<3

ok. first trait: attention whore: second manga route FAILS. second trait: doesn't want to die. wonder what second manga route will do. (looks into the camera) takane kills herself in second manga route.

dude you're crazy. you literally get EVERYTHING WRONG. it pisses me off. and not only does she kill herself but she does it because haruka DIED!?!?!?!?!? OH MY GOD. i hate it it's so fucking fake it's not HER THAT'S NOT TAKANE ENOMOTO THAT'S A SHIT CHARACTER JIN AND MAHIRO SATO DECIDED TO SUDDENLY WRITE INTO THE STORY i already put it in this post but let me attach it again

dear lord. anyways i've talked about that loads of times but i needed to include it in this talk cuz. yeah. i dont even HATE the rest of second manga route i just hate how takane is written specifically but since she's everything 2 me erm. you get my thumbs down!!! anyways having acknowledged second manga route we can move on.

back to main route discussion. so takane's backstory. not super deep, especially compared to other characters. yes her backstory is basically that she's sad because her boyfriend dies. but as ene there's so much more to unpack, right?! a character who will 100% accept a HALF DEATH because she's so determined not to die, but she's also mentioned to be tirelessly looking for her body because despite everything she's got HOPE? that's SUPER interesting, i love her!! what will she- *is obsessed with shintaro* ene's obsession with shintaro again ties in with everything else, desperate for attention, finds kinship with shintaro because she (or rather, ayano) decided he's compatible with her, but most importantly, he's doing badly and she wants to help him. takane isn't a person anymore, she's alive only as a technicality, so… she spends time with shintaro! but we ignore, it's TWO YEARS. and only in one of those she is with shintaro. we tend to overlook she spends the WHOLE TIME looking for her body in that other year. of course ene talks a lot about how much she loves her power, how much she loves being ene and not having to take care of her sick body but it's a REALITY that she wants to get it back. if she really didn't want it, why would she look for it and later get back into it when she does find it? but that's in between the lines. ene's obsession with shintaro is super interesting and you KNOW i love everything we know about takane be it her obsession with shintaro or her crush on haruka. i just wish there was....more.... like everyone else gets more! like HARUKA, a damn side character, gets more!!

haruka gets so SO much, he even bonds with SETO!! he gets a really well developed friendship with shintaro, he gets a very long detailed introduction scene with ayano with funny younger mekatrio shenanigans, he gets yuukei quartet hangout moments, he gets a GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH KENJIROU (fundamental imo as he's very important both in general and haruka and takane's social circle back then) and not just all that, but super thoughtfully written feelings about his illness, views on life, wishes... and all takane's story gets is…. she's sick, but it's ok it's not deadly, HARUKA HOWEVER…. oh, HE'S the real delicate one….especially since she's in love with him ofcourse!! dont forget!! btw she's grumpy cuz of her illness. she wishes she just didn't need sleep. aaanywaaays did we mention it's not as important as haruka's illness and btw she's in love with him?

unlike haruka, takane gets no relationship with ayano, and all their interactions are talking about how in LOVE they are with haruka and shintaro. no relationship with kenjirou beyond comic relief of ugh useless ass teacher, even revealed later on she stays in the dark about kenjirou forcing them to participate in the festival ON PURPOSE and playing her like that so she would be determined and make haruka join. her dynamic to shintaro pre being ene is just pitiful, and if it wasn't for his behavior towards her shintaro would be…. erm normal?? yea he's cold to ayano but that vs the way he randomly treats takane without even knowing her. god. imagine kagepro where shintaro DIDN'T do that. he'd still be flawed and stuff like what was the need😭 like HUUHH. takane gets nothing!!!!! and if we're still on the shintaro subject, why she's the asshole for being a menace as ene? whatever. i support women's wrongs. bully him harder.

alright. later she's ene, bonds with the dan. wait!! look!! it's KANO!!! she has so much in common with him, to the point he chooses her to open up to and helps her get her body back!!! this is a GREAT character choice to pair her with and to develop a dynamic with!! uh. oh wait….. kano's just totally awful to her and then later leaves her to get her body back offscreen and on her own? (looks into the camera again)

to continue comparing haruka and takane. takane mentions grandma makes her lunch, grandpa is dead, and they're both SUPER worried about her illness. there's…. nothing about their personalities or their relationship to her. meanwhile, haruka mentions everything! he's all like my illness… when it killed my mother it was exactly when the doctors said it would. my dad is cold and a little strange and doesnt spend time at home. we have a live in helper who does chores. like that's already so much deeper!

u find out through another mention later on that takane's parents work overseas but you dont know ANYTHING else despite it being so specific. while haruka goes on about his relationship with his dad or rather lack of relationship, and there's even some stranger at home doing chores for him. and again HE GETS TO HAVE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH KENJIROU, heavily written as a father/son dynamic. man.

anyways…. this is kinda all over the place and it's something i talk about very often but teehee. wanted to do it again. i was thinking about it again because i realized i don't tend to draw haruka in a context outside being takane's boytoy. which i don't particularly care about because i know that's not all i see him as and i do see him as a deep character of his own and i like analyzing him just as much… it's just in art specifically he's just always there to be in love with her and nothing else. and i was like damn does that suck of me?? but you know what. i dont care<3 thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[antianakin]

I don’t know if you’re actually watching the Ahsoka series or not, but I was very curious on your thoughts on the newest episode, and the confrontation between Anakin and Ahsoka.

Bro traumatized her again. Lol. 😒🙃

I’m actually kind of satisfied that she showed a little resentment, but I still don’t like that she didn’t cuss him out or something.

Anakin not apologizing is infuriating at first glance, but I also think it fits his character.

It’s funny, if I think about it in a certain way: I wonder if Anakin himself views his “redemption” kind of the same way his fans do. He’s just like, “Why are you still pissed at me? I died stopping the Emperor, didn’t I?” 🙄

The only one I think he’d actually feel sad about is Leia, because of course he’d want his daughter to like him, but she never will now, because he fucking tortured her and blew up her planet.

You know… I don’t really view Anakin’s final moments as a true “redemption” in the eyes of the galaxy. George Lucas has a quote where he says parents are redeemed in the eyes of their children. I guess you could argue that Anakin redeemed himself in Luke’s eyes, but not the galaxy’s own.

And then there’s Leia, who will never forgive him or think of him as her father.

In a way, it’s almost fitting for Anakin, that each of his children represent something for him.

Luke represents forgiveness, and how it’s never too late to do the right thing.

Leia represents his mistakes and sins. As long as she lives, he’ll always look at her and remember the damage he’s done. She’d never let him forget it.

Which is funny, when going back to the recent Ahsoka episode, and how he was acting like a dick to Ahsoka.

Personally, I think he was purposely trying to piss her off to make her fight to not die.

Still though: he’s such a jackass. 😒

Anyways, I guess my main point is that I don’t view Anakin being a Force Ghost shows that he was “redeemed.” I view it more as a type of salvation. Like the Bible story where Jesus is on the cross with two other men next to him. And then one man decides to “believe in him” or whatever, and his soul is saved by the skin of his teeth.

This is kind of how I view Anakin’s act of saving Luke. His soul was saved, because he did a heel face turn at the last second. So The Force was like, “Good enough, I guess.” *Throws up hands*

Anyways, sorry for the long rambling. I hope you don’t mind the message. Haha. 😅 I just have found your blog really therapeutic, because while I like Anakin as the fascinating character that he is, it still just kills me how fandom woobifies him and blames the Jedi for their own genocide.

I don't mind this message at all, thanks so much for sending so many of your thoughts, this was great! It's going to be a long reply back, though, since there's so much to respond to and if you've been going through my blog, this probably won't surprise you.

I AM watching the Ahsoka show, I'm just putting my thoughts about it on a different blog to this one (this blog was created for me to be negative so I usually only review things on here if I KNOW I'm going to be negative about it, but I was hopeful I'd have positive things to say about the Ahsoka show lol).

I think I'm feeling RELATIVELY mediocre about the show. Like I don't hate the whole thing, I can see why it appeals to people, but it's not really hitting at what I would've wanted from a narrative perspective. It seems to be relying on fan service and pretty visuals rather than genuinely good writing to get them through. If you happen to be the fan being serviced, you probably like it fine. But if you are someone more like me, then you might be noticing that there aren't a lot of stakes, the character motivations are weak or missing, the two storylines aren't being spliced together very well, and the dialogue's just not that great. There's also several more nitpicky things that are really pissing me off about the show (the way they're treating Force sensitivity, Sabine being a Jedi at all for no good reason and how her character is being butchered, the very distant and aloof acting I feel like we're getting from everybody, and of course the requisite anti-Jedi bullshit that we can all expect from Filoni at this point).

But as for how I felt about Anakin and Ahsoka's scenes in the latest episode this week, I am personally of the opinion that it WASN'T Anakin at all. I know it's left ambiguous, so if people feel like it was truly Anakin in some way shape or form, that's fine, but I think it makes more sense to me personally that it wasn't. This is Ahsoka's manifestation of Anakin in a moment where she's literally drowning and emotionally at something of a low point and has to decide if she's going to live or not and that conflict plays out in her head the way we see it. I'm also open to the idea that this is one of those things where the Force "tests" the Jedi not unlike what we see happen on Ilum and Mortis and the Force is just utilizing Anakin's visage to bring Ahsoka's deepest fears out into the open.

What makes it interesting to me is that then we can look at the interactions as THIS IS HOW AHSOKA SEES HIM. Whether she thinks about it that deeply or not, THIS personality is how she remembers him. The immediate choice to be violent with her and test her fighting skills rather than talk to her more gently, the dismissive attitude he has towards her, the flickering back and forth between Anakin and Vader because she doesn't truly know which one he was most. He wasn't necessarily a great teacher and his way of teaching wasn't very Jedi-like, it's ruthless and merciless and unkind, and we see that reflected in their interactions in this episode, which could be a really interesting look at how Ahsoka still remembers him even if she didn't see it negatively at the time.

So him not apologizing isn't like... an indication of how Anakin might actually handle this interaction if it were truly him so much as just... Ahsoka being unsure sure if he WOULD apologize because she has no idea how much of him was Vader the entire time and Vader would clearly never apologize. I think the Anakin we see by the end of ROTJ probably would apologize at SOME point, especially if we're supposed to see him as redeemed and acknowledging/accepting of his sins, etc. But Ahsoka doesn't know that. Ahsoka probably kind-of knows through Luke that he turned back in his last moments, but she wasn't there for that, she didn't get to see it, and she obviously still has no idea what caused him to turn on the Jedi and become a Sith to begin with. Why did he come back for Luke and not her? Was it because she abandoned him? Did he just not care about her the way she thought? Was there something intrinsically wrong with her that he recognized from the beginning?

There's just too much uncertainty perhaps for Ahsoka to know if he'd actually apologize and she doesn't even necessarily need or want an apology so much as she just wants to UNDERSTAND. Because of course it leads into her doubts about HERSELF and whether being his apprentice (even for as short of a time as it was) has somehow influenced her to be more like him and if she should be worried that she'll go dark or cause a student of hers to go dark. If she doesn't know why HE made that choice, how can she trust herself? It's not entirely dissimilar to the statement she made at the end of the Wrong Jedi arc where she claims she's leaving the Jedi because if the Council couldn't trust her then she isn't sure she can trust herself, either. And now with Anakin going dark, she has to wonder if the Council saw something of that in her when no one else did, saw a future for her that she hadn't been able to see for herself yet.

I think personally I'd just rather look at this episode as the closest we're going to get to a "deep dive" into Ahsoka's psyche and character rather than try to analyze it as like "what does this say about Anakin." It's not Anakin's story anymore, it's Ahsoka's. Or it's supposed to be, anyway.

That all being said, I don't think it went far enough and I do dislike that we didn't get to dive into OTHER aspects of Ahsoka via other relationships in order to round out who she actually is. I don't think we know any more about her at the end of the episode than we did at the beginning. I don't think she really grows or changes through the episode at all. I don't know what the whole "choose to live" thing was about or how it connects to her overall arc because while, yes, she's obviously literally drowning in the moment, "choosing to live" is not something they've been exploring as an issue for Ahsoka throughout this season so far, so it didn't feel like this cool end to her character journey so much as just a really shallow one-liner made to sound badass without anything particularly profound behind it.

I think gffa said that one of the things you can tell about this show is that it's been percolating in Filoni's mind for so long that there's things he's leaving out because they're just totally obvious to him now and he's forgotten that the audience won't know some of it without being told or shown. If Ahsoka was depressed or suicidal or something like that, it never came across in the first four episodes. She barely seems to be struggling at all to me, personally. So maybe that's what Filoni wanted us to understand about her, maybe that was the intention, but it just didn't quite make it from his head into the writing or onto the screen.

And I keep going back to the Obi-Wan Kenobi show and the way they handled his character arc. They started him at a really low point where he's so CLEARLY depressed and just moving through life without actually living or finding any way to be happy. They spend so much time showing us how OUT of character Obi-Wan is in order for the pay off by the end and the slow growth of his character throughout the six episode story to feel satisfying. And while he's out of character in his depression, it's done in such a way that that's the POINT. We all know WHY he's out of character, we know what's causing him to be that way, it doesn't need to be explained because it didn't happen off-screen, it's literally the plot of an entire trilogy of films. It felt like a pretty natural extension of the state we last saw him in and it allows him the ability to actually have a journey that makes sense.

We've gotten NONE OF THAT for Ahsoka. Her relationship with Sabine is nonsensical and comes out of nowhere with zero explanation. Her weird thing about Padawans comes out of nowhere with zero explanation. Her aloof attitude is coming out of nowhere and does nothing to help us understand the state of mind she's in. She never seems to be acting SO out of character that it tells the audience how much she's struggling, but she's also SO flat that she no longer feels much like the Ahsoka everyone knew and loved from The Clone Wars. They're inventing new problems for her to have that make no sense instead of giving her a journey to actually deal with the problems she already had and hadn't gotten any resolution for. And they're unable to actually connect her problems from before into the Rebels storyline in a way that makes any real sense or feels genuine and meaningful for either Ahsoka or Sabine, so both storylines are getting half-assed and butchered in the attempt.

Personally, I think Ahsoka should've had a season set closer to ROTJ or even before it, just after she gets off of Malachor and 2-3 years prior to ANH, to explore her immediate reaction to Anakin's betrayal and have her overcome that on her own. Use original characters primarily, throw in Bail Organa or something if needed just to give her a quick plot, but let it be about AHSOKA. And only once her journey to finding herself is complete do we then move on to the Search for Ezra, which should be focusing WAY more on the Rebels characters than we're actually getting and should not involve any of the Rebels characters (except maybe Jacen) learning to be Jedi. Ahsoka would be a side character in this story because she has now had her story told and we can let Sabine and Ezra and Jacen and Hera be at the forefront of the story. (I also think we could've done something with Sabine that wasn't being a Jedi or her entire family being murdered off screen so she has an excuse to do a characterization 180 and act like a bratty teenager all over again.)

If I had to just change THIS episode a little, I have a few alternatives I've been thinking about. For one, I do just think we should've gotten to explore OTHER relationships beyond Anakin to emphasize the other things that Ahsoka is that aren't just "Anakin's Padawan." Rex, Barriss, Plo Koon, even Kanan or Ezra to try to make that connection to Rebels. She's been a friend, a commander, a rebel, a student, a mentor, an ally, a Jedi. She's been so many things that have nothing at all to do with Anakin and I think that might've been nice to explore as well. Yes, Anakin was important. Yes, she's fucked up about it. But that's not ALL THAT SHE IS. So I think starting off with her fears about Anakin is great, but then have her move on and sort-of go through it a little like Charles Dickens' A Christmas Story to show that she's more than this, too. This probably would've worked better if it had been a two parter thing rather than one 30-40 minute episode, depending on how many characters you wanted to throw in.

I also would've appreciated seeing her break and shatter at seeing Anakin. I wanted her to be ANGRY, to refuse to forgive him, to throw his betrayal in face. And then by the end of the episode, she lets it go. She's seen that she doesn't need to hold onto that anymore and it doesn't matter what choices Anakin did or didn't make, she's her own person and can make HER own choices. And so Anakin comes back at the end, and she's no longer angry. She can forgive him. I also would've wanted her to have been more snappy and frustrated and angry earlier in the season, as well, so we can TELL there's something simmering underneath that she's trying to keep repressed until it finally boils over in this episode.

The other alternative I came up with was the OPPOSITE idea where Ahsoka is basically just kind-of... in denial about it. She isn't acknowledging her own anger and pain and betrayal at all and she just wants to spend this time with Anakin the way they used to and Anakin is sitting there provoking her and trying to get her to break so she can let it all out. Eventually he gets her to admit it and get angry and yell at him and acknowledge her own pain finally so she can see how it's impacting her relationships in the present day. She's been trying up until now, but as Yoda's always said, sometimes trying isn't enough, and you just have to do or do not. She doesn't reject him at the end of this, but she can at least acknowledge what he did to her and how it's made her feel. You could even include some of her anti-Jedi bullshit in this and have her justifying Anakin's betrayal by saying the Jedi failed him the way they failed her and Anakin pushing back on that idea so that by the end of the episode, she can recognize that she's been blaming the Jedi because she's been uncomfortable with her inability to understand Anakin's choices and it was easier to blame the Jedi than live with that uncertainty.

I've discussed my feelings on Anakin's redemption a lot and they're definitely not in the majority. Personally, I just don't think he's redeemed at all. My definition of redemption is along the lines of "you can fix/undo the thing you broke/damaged" rather than just... "you decided to stop breaking things even if there's no way to fix it." It doesn't mean Anakin can't keep being a better person if he'd lived, or that he can't find redemption in more specific places (like Luke forgiving him for chopping off his hand), but that there is no redemption for what he did to the Jedi, to the clones, and to the galaxy at large. None. It doesn't matter what he does, it doesn't matter that he stopped himself and Palpatine, it doesn't MATTER. The Jedi and the Republic are still gone, the clones were still enslaved, the galaxy is still in shambles and traumatized from 25 years under the Empire.

You aren't the only one who's chosen to separate your definition of "redemption" from something else to make it make more sense. Someone else went for redemption being different from an absolution wherein you are just immediately forgiven of all of your sins because of one act or whatever, while redemption is the process of doing better. If that works for you, go for it. Personally, I just think Anakin isn't redeemed. He cheat coded his way into being a Ghost and the Ghosts don't make any sense anyway. I think it's definitely intended to represent his redemption IN THE NARRATIVE, like that's the point of the visual, but it just doesn't work for me, so I choose not to see it that way. It's ambiguous enough and the Force Ghost lore confusing enough that it's not that hard.

Your interpretation of Luke and Leia as the two sides of forgiveness is intriguing. I do think Leia could get to the point of forgiveness that basically looks like letting go of her anger because the man's dead anyway so there's no real point staying angry and understanding the history that may have led him to become the monster she knew, but that doesn't mean she has to LIKE him or ever consider him a father.

I think you could kind-of throw Ahsoka and Obi-Wan in there as different reactions to Anakin, too. With Ahsoka as someone who sort-of clings to who Anakin used to be and can't truly reconcile the two versions of him that she knew, and Obi-Wan as someone who rises above. Unlike Leia, he did know and love Anakin, but he is also able to let go of his anger and betrayal and accept Anakin for what he is now rather than pining for someone who no longer exists. And Ahsoka is the opposite of Luke as someone who also knew Anakin and loved him, but struggles a lot MORE with the revelation of who he was and his impact on her life. Everyone approaches Anakin and his relationship to them and his choices in a different way.

I wish the Ahsoka show wanted to explore any of that at all lol.

[rustyelias]

This ask/character dissection contains events from Red Valley, including major spoilers, blood and injury, and the fear of death.

*takes a breath*

Okay so I have become some what of a Clive Schill blog of late, and given that Red Valley in of itself isn’t wildly popular, and that Clive Schill is simultaneously the comic relief and antagonist of the show, there aren’t many people to talk about him with.

Initially, he comes off as just an arse. He’s mean to the protagonists, seems to have no remorse for his actions and is generally shown to also just be bad at his job? His main character traits are his “colourful” insults and his status as the Redval sugar daddy.

This doesn’t really change until near the end of season two, at which point he’s noticed Bryony’s treatment of the mc (Warren) and steps in. His concern is framed as a need for Warren to be in the best shape possible, for presenting to the world as a “solution to cryosleep”, but I do think he was also genuinely uncomfortable with the situation and wanted to get Warren out of there.

This all goes tits up when they return to Red Valley and the season finale happens. Won’t go into details but this winds up with Clive getting shot in the knees. Warren has simultaneously had a brain haemorrhage, and Gordon (mc no.2) has also just been shot. The focus is placed on getting the two mc’s inside of cryopods before they both bleed out. Clive is left forgotten on the floor of the lab.

He is eventually helped by someone else, and doesn’t die, but I think this is an incredibly important moment for his character. His entire story revolves around moving up the corporate ladder, and his desire to be the first to crack hypersleep is Always framed as a desire for recognition (and money).

Clive Schill is terrified of being forgotten. This also ties into his fear of death. He is terrified of dying and nobody remembering him. I think this fear translates into why he’s always so loud, so quick to argue and insult. He’s trying to be noticed.

So when he’s left on the floor bleeding out, with everyone else focusing on saving Warren + Gordon, it’s a huge fucking moment for him.

He goes on to form a business partnership with the person who saves him, they make Aloha Eternity, a cruise ship that utilises cryopreservation. He gets his recognition.

And then…

There’s growing unrest surrounding cryogenics. The world is rapidly going to shit thanks to climate change, partially due to big companies like Overhead (this is the one Clive, Bryony and the entire Red Valley team work for). The leaders and higher ups of said companies all plan to hypersleep (in cryopods) for 1000 years until the world’s unfucked itself. Clive helps this happen with the tech development he’s funded.

And when the time comes, he is not offered a place in the cryopods. Instead, he is made CEO of Overhead Industries. He got his fucking dream come true, because he was deemed expendable enough to let die in the real world. (Before this his cruise ship got blown up by terrorists, truly he has nothing)

So yeah uh there are some mildly coherent thoughts about Clive Schill. There is more where that came from but from here the thoughts get a Lot more incoherent.

Such as Bryony referring to Clive as “the shovel bit of the shovel”

She uses him for his status in Overhead and his money.

Also I think Clive is incredibly touch starved. Never comes up in the show because the only time people get close to him is when they’re hurting him (Warren’s headbutt)

Oh and he looks like Alexander J Newall. And Murph from D20. Just a mix of those two.

And he’s a musician. Like a really talented musician. I have no basis for this hc other than the fact I feel it in my soul.

Anyway if you’ve read this thanks so fucking much, and if not it was still great screaming into the pit

raaah!!! i love him! it's been a while since I last listened to red valley but omg! he is such a character to say he is treated like the comic relief or what I called him that prick™️ he has SO much going on!

Bro really gave his whole life to this business only for them to basically leave him to die in the fucked up world :( also the fucking cruise business bsjdjdjjdj

I love how I went from loving him because he was just the worst to loving him because he is a complex character. Gosh after he was shot man :(

jskskxkdkjd he is SO touch staved you get it! you get it!!

“Also he looks like Alexander J newall” oh god oh fuck its him:

Okay yeah after my relisten of rqg I am 100% going to listen to Red Valley

[iced-blood]

Sugar, Spice, and Everything Ice.

I’ve been quiet this year.

This isn’t to say I haven’t been doing anything, as folks may have noticed. I’ve put up a whole mess of links to the work I’ve been doing in 2023—a grand total of 105 chapters—and that’s what I want to touch base on, at this tail-end of the year.

I found out early on in January that a dear friend of mine, my creative partner and the reason for my Paved with Good Intentions series, passed away in 2021. I’m not sure what it was, but that news hit me in a particular way. I realized that two of the projects in that aforementioned series, Blue Eyes, Violet Eyes and Lightbringer, were unfinished.

That didn’t sit right with me.

I set out to fix that.

There are many projects I’ve started that I never finished, and have been left languishing for . . . ten years? Yeah. Ten years.

That’s just ridiculous.

I decided that 2023 was going to cooperate with me whether it wanted to or not.

So, I bought a day-planner and set to work. Let’s go over the list, shall we?

Coronam Crepusculum

This was first on my list because it was a work that I owed a good friend of mine, who is no longer a regular user of Tumblr. It’s a take on the Soulsborne universe, built around a series of personal interviews with relevant characters conducted by an OC I created specifically for this purpose, Wandulfin of Vinheim.

(the latin title translates, hopefully, to “crown of twilight”)

                                51,377 words.

Paved with Good Intentions: Blue Eyes, Violet Eyes

The first of the two stories I knew I needed to finish in memory of my departed friend, I resolved to write the 19 chapters required to reach a clean finish line for this one-shot collection of 100 installments. It felt like the right way to go about things, and I think I worked out a lot of important elements of the Kaiba brothers through those 19 chapters.

                                165,386 words.

Paved with Good Intentions: Lightbringer

The second of the two stories written in my friend’s memory, this is still being published every Saturday. I wrote what amounted to the second half of this story, 55 chapters to be exact, for a grand total of 110 (of which 98 are published as of this post). I think it’s some of my best work to date, and I can only hope my partner would have appreciated what became of it. Have you ever wondered how Seto and Mokuba would react to meeting their parents again? If so, this is the story for you.

                                Published + Rough Draft: 159,930 words.

The City That Wouldn’t Die

The first full storyline of my personal take on World of Warcraft and my main character’s place in it, this story has undergone a lot of changes since I last touched it. This year, I resolved to end it at a part that made at least some amount of sense, but I won’t pretend that it’s entirely satisfactory. All I can say at this point is that I do intend to come back to Azeroth eventually. And this time, I hope to give my characters the story they deserve.

                                41,890 words.

Cult of the Dragon King

I’m pretty sure this is the one that’s been left alone the longest; if it isn’t, it’s close. The basic thrust of this story is that Atem failed in his quest to gather the Millennium Items and put them to rest properly, and so it falls to Seto Kaiba to try this time. I could go into detail why I picked Seto to be Atem’s successor, but I think y’all know what to expect here. I picked Seto because he’s my favorite. Anyway, this one isn’t ready to resume publishing, but it has been drafted. Anyone who’s been waiting for this one to continue will want to pay attention to this blog in 2024.

                                Published + Rough Draft: 175,246 words.

The Lost Dragon's Lullaby

Another AU centered around the Kaiba family (what can I say? I'm a creature of habit), this story wonders what it would have been like if Noa had lived. What if Seto and Mokuba had another brother when they were adopted? What if they had a mother? What would the Kaiba family look like if it were whole?

Approx. 62,609 words.

Watching the Lights Go Down

One of two stories I revived this year, and will resume publication in the new year. Do you Blueship? Do you wonder how Seto and Kisara might interact in the modern world, regardless of romantic intentions? This is the story for you. I took a set of 100 words to use as prompts to build this story, and through these 100 snapshots I think you’ll get a pretty clear picture of how I imagine Seto’s relationship with his favorite dragon would unfold if said dragon was a woman. And his bodyguard.

                                Approx. 52,789 words.

Letting the Cables Sleep

This is a sister story to the one I just outlined. Taking place concurrently with Lights, this story explores the relationship between Noa Kaiba and Ryo Bakura. Why these two? Why not? I don’t really have an answer, except to say that I found their dynamic interesting. Unlike its other half, Cables is explicitly romantic. So if you’re interested in Domino City’s resident white-haired cryptid hooking up with an android, well, here’s where you wanna go. I used the same list of 100 words, but in reverse order, to build this story.

                                Approx. 52,708 words.

Butterflies and Hurricanes

The other contender for “story Ice left to languish for the longest time,” I’m not sure I have to explain to anyone reading this why I might have stopped working on a Harry Potter story. Put basically, this story is an exploration into what would happen if a fae prince took an interest in taking down Lord Voldemort, and then settled on Sirius Black as his instrument. It’s a time travel story at its core, with all the nonsense you might expect from such a thing.

Regardless of anything this series’ author might have to say on the matter, my writing this story does not in any way endorse or condone transphobia or any of her other myriad bigotries. I have not given this woman money in 20 years. I do not support her in any way, shape, or form. This story’s completion is for my own satisfaction, and for the interest of anyone who might want to read it. That is all.

                Published + Rough Draft: 80,506 words.

The Whitest Lace of Light

A continuation of my pet take on the Bleach setting, focused again on Toshiro Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto and their Tenth Division. Throughout the 50 chapters of this story, they face off with a new threat to Soul Society as they try their hardest to rebuild after the Thousand-Year Blood War. Throughout this . . . suspense? Thriller? Thing. They come across new faces and old, and might just learn some things along the way. Or something. Look, I just wanted to write one of my favorite ships again.

                                Rough Draft: 30,033 words.

At Sixes and Sevens: A Prince for His Kingdom

The shortest work I completed this year, but certainly not the least important. This is a continuation of my pet take on the “Kaiba Bros Age Swap AU” as first shown to me by my dear friend @kintatsujo. How might Seto have handled an invitation to Duelist Kingdom if he’d been 9 years old when it took place? What about Mokuba, if he was 15? Shenanigans abound. I hope you like where I took this one, Kinta.

                                5,000 words.

Last but not least, I resolved to break my record for my longest NaNoWriMo project this year, because I’m ridiculous and don’t know when to quit.

Much like I approached World of Warcraft,I take every MMORPG I play as an excuse to build a story. Nowhere is this more obvious than Final Fantasy XIV. My take on Eorzea and its various magical idiosyncrasies—which I call The Song That God Forgot—set me on a road to 125,000 words this past November.

These projects, alongside various redrafts of my older stories in preparation for what I hope to be 2024’s migration from Fanfiction.Net to AO3, netted me a grand total of 902,580 words written in 2023.

I don’t say this to brag or to pat myself on the back (okay, maybe a bit), but to say . . . just hold on. Keep going. You’ll hit your stride eventually, even if it doesn’t seem like it. I’ve struggled to write regularly and with consistency for a decade now, and here I’ve got nearly a million words in a single year.

I believed in me this year, and I believe in you too.

Keep on truckin’. You’ll get there.

Happy New Year, y’all. I love you.

[clearbun]

your blog is so cool!!! can i ask if you have any special greed + devils nest gang headcanons to share for this humble anon's rewatch session?

aw tysm <3 I definitely have way too many thoughts about them rotating in my head constantly, let's see what we can grab today

one of the things that I actually really like from 03 is Greed busting out the chimeras when he's breaking himself out of the lab, so even though it doesn't exactly line up with what we're given in mangahood canon i like to hc something similar having happened anyways! (gonna be a lil vague because this loops back to a fic I'm writing a bit) "guy who's been locked up for who knows how long and isn't all there mentally's first instinct being to save people when all he can think about is needing to get out" does something to me yk

the chimeras having different sorts of chronic pain issues from being experimented on is so real to me that I forget it's not canon. I will die on the hill that Dolcetto's arm bands are actually braces to support his wrists. Greed catches any of them overdoing it when they're having a bad pain day and he will personally drag them off to bed whether they're in the middle of a conversation or work or anything. This is regular taking care of your possessions behaviour and not him being worried about his friends thank you very much

Roa just has the Vibes that he does most of the cooking for their group, but Greed definitely does quite a bit too (mostly when he can use excuses like "I'm the only one who can't get sick so I might as well be the one to make food" when there's something going around, or "Well I made this for Me because I need to eat all the finest things but I happened to make enough for everyone and being greedy means not letting things go to waste so you better have some" -guy who won't admit to himself or anyone else that everything he wants for himself is for them too)

Dolcetto being the main bouncer! most people would probably expect it to be Roa or Ulchi but he's a damn good guard dog thank you (being able to smoke more because he's outside the entrance is a bonus too) I don't have too specific hc's for what most of the others do during working hours other than Martel working the bar, but I kinda see Ulchi as dealing with fights that break out inside when he's not part of them himself (Roa helps with those ones it's ok)

[wist-eri]

rapid analysis of what some of the descriptions/footnotes possibly mean

usually i wouldn’t put this on my main account, but since the other blog i would post it on is a little more in-detail on average, i decided why not (i think you know which blog i’m referring to)

so yep! i read some of the footnotes and added some personal analysis as to what some of them could mean. i’m positive the song used in the new DRDT MV will be “bungaku shoujo insane,” based on the similarity of the thumbnail as well as some specific footnotes, so a lot of my analysis will be based on that song and its lyrics

anyways

[1] In this situation, it is better to use full names over nicknames. Exclude our protagonist—he is not "that person." not sure what this means yet. we’ll have to see.

[2] Other examples include Drosophilia melanogaster and E. coli. don’t know if this is intentional, but drosophila is misspelled. (they wrote it as “drosophilia”) either way, both are often used in school experiments in order to develop a further understanding of genetics and genetic material (and how it’s transferred). 

[3] From Title 17 of the United States Code. referring to copyright laws in the United States. the reference may be more apparent in the released MV, similarly to some other footnotes—after all, the original “Bungaku Shoujo Insane” video has some moments where they simply show excerpts from famous texts. this may be one of them that’s featured specifically in the DRDT version of the MV

[4] The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in East Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number four can be read similar to the word "death" in multiple languages. self-explanatory.

[5] As the translation has been intentionally botched in many parts, it should not be considered accurate. this could be a separate author’s note to one of the texts referenced in the MV—we’ll have to see.

[6] (Prayer) no idea but i don’t feel like searching the bible for this one /hj (i think there might be a prayer written in text in the MV though)

[7] Seven is considered an auspicious number in many Western cultures. Let's just skip it. also self-explanatory.

[8] 'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it. excerpt from Alice in Wonderland. don’t know how important that’ll be in the future—could be referenced directly in the MV? 

[9] no respect for the classics smh hold on let me see if there’s a lyric mocking classic literature- 

[10] The Roman numeral for 10 is X. imagine there’s an X with a footnote and it’s just this

[11] I admit to lying. There is no one named OOOOO OOOOO. I am, and always have been, an only child. a lot of theories about this, but regardless of whether or not this statement is true, it could be a reference to diana chiem, arturo’s sister, david himself even (i’ll explain later), etc. either way, this footnote seems to be more about one of the characters in the DRDT cast than anything

[12] "Majority rule" is known to be the fairest method of making decisions for a group. That's why murderers never complained when we voted for them to die. just a random question, but you know what a majority vote is? /ref this may also be a reference to this lyric:

rough translation + wiki info: to be, or not to be—i have no idea! but let’s decide, with a democratic method!

[13] 正 character that’s often used to represent something that’s “correct,” “right,” or “just,” speaking from experience. additionally, it’s sometimes used as tally marks in a few eastern countries (china, japan, etc)

[14] Hint: word length of 256 Hamlet’s soliloquy, which starts with “to be, or not to be—that is the question,” is exactly 256 words (at least, according to this source). Additionally, this soliloquy is also referenced in one of the lyrics in this song (see [12]—the first line is actually one of the more well-known Japanese translations of “to be or not to be.” additionally, a few lines from the text are actually shown in the MV at that point), so that may be what it’s referring to

[15] “Ignorance is bliss" is an idiom used to say that it is better to remain ignorant about certain harsh truths, in order to avoid causing oneself stress. The expression comes from a 1742 Thomas Gray poem ("Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College": "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." might be a stretch, but possibly a reference to this lyric?

(rough translation: things like the meanings(?) behind art, you’d be happier not knowing)  (note: the word used for “art” here encompasses all types of media, which include dance, writing, etc.)

i feel like this is specifically referring to how it’s better to be ignorant of the meanings behind certain actions and words, than to be aware of the dark implications behind them. this is a stretch though. do what you will with it but i think this is referring to one of the characters and their actions + true meanings behind them *cough* david *cough*

[16] While it was originally intended to serve as a military march, today it is most commonly recognized for it's association with circuses and tomfoolery. the exact song that this footnote refers to is Julius Fučík’s “Entrance of the Gladiators.” This is a song that’s featured in Bungaku Shoujo Insane, and it can be heard in the interludes—in fact, this footnote is what pointed me to Bungaku in the first place

[17] Not a real word. Can't be found in any dictionary. this might be an actual translation footnote of the song, since it’s definitely not unheard of to have words in japanese that don’t have an english translation and/or words that don’t actually exist. whether that’s actually in the lyrics i don’t know but i’ll have to look into it

[18] A/N: soz not very good at drawing flowers lol!!! i find it weird how this one specifically has A/N (author’s note)

[19] A dialogue between two individuals that serves as a discussion of moral and philosophical issues. this is known as a socratic dialogue. not sure how this is important yet

[20] It is considered by many to be outdated, providing little-to-no insight on human nature. unfortunately i don’t know what this is referring to, but it will likely be made clear in the mv. my first thought was actually the enlightenment documents, since a lot of those discuss the inherent nature of humanity and how it’s “regulated” by society and government—but i’ve never heard it being called outdated, so that’s kind of a stretch.

someone said it could be an excerpt from one of Sigmund Freud’s works, which honestly, would make total sense-

[21] Deriving from the Latin phrase "Et cetera" : meaning "and other (similar) things", "and so forth", or "and the rest (of such things)" : abbreviated to etc., etc, et cet., &c. or &c

also pretty self explanatory. however, i have no idea how this fits in the MV

[22] The rest is silence.

no idea about this one.

anyways if you have suggestions please feel free to reblog with them 🫠 i have no idea what’s going on and tbh 90% of this is me trying to grasp at straws

[faketokufan]

Man... I'ma just be real with y'all. I don't give a shit about Palworld. It's all Ive funken heard about the past week or so and I just... I just don't care! On one side of the Halo 1 ass team death match y'all are in the trenches of you have the overly zealous Pokemon fans who will needle the game to death over the slightest shortcomings and similarities. Buddy, pal, friend... GameFreak will be fine. They're gunna be ok ...

But equally bad are the ones who will take any criticism of their new personality defining game as an attack on the sanctity of their marriage or something. I'm sorry guys, the game looks painfully boring, if it didn't look like pokemon with guns you wouldn't be playing it.

But this isn't why I'm tired... If that was all I had to say about this issue I wouldn't have made a post about it on what is supposed to be a tokusatsu blog... Shit this is supposed to be a toku blog... What episode of Kingohger are we on?... We're in the 40s!?...... Man I let that one get away from me... okay!!! Not the point, not the point, we'll deal with that later. The point is! We already HAD Pokemon with guns and murder and even more obvious furry bait.

WHERE WERE YALL WHEN MY MAIN MAN AGUMON WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE HUH?

Look at em...

Y'all wanted a more mature Pokemon? Man we've had that since the 90s! We already have Palworld at home! We are not stopping and spending more money on edgy monsters when you barely play with the ones I got you last week! You want guns? You want your cute scrunkle squinkle toodle pops to have guns?

Do Gargomon and his funny little pants mean nothing to you?! Fucken ... This one is just a gun!

Gundramon is just 30 guns in a trench coat...

Death?... Ya want death and mature themes? Some real stakes and some real consequences for our sins and transgressions? Ya want to Nuzlocke and pop your way though a story where Fido can die if you forget to give him his ear medication?

Eat my ENTIRE ass.

Slavery? You want... Wait y'all want actually want that?... Like the whole putting y'all's dog on the assembly line to build Mitsubishi Outlanders thing has been in a LOT of the back and forth... I'm not sure what y'all are talking about.... Yeah...

Anyway yeah Digimon... Digital monsters. Digimon are the champions here. Play Palworld if you want, I haven't seen anything that indicates it's actually funding anything uncouth... And hate pal world if you want! I always advocate for more hate in the world. Hating things is fun!... Just... I don't care. I just don't care about monsuno for men. Bakugan for big boys. Telefang for taxpayers... Uh... Monster rancher for retirees....

...

...are we really in the 40s with Kingohger?...

[tuatism]

just posted something similar on main but i think i can explain better when i connect it to klaus so to my tua blog this thought goes.

bug like an angel (mitski) is so four "klaus" hargreeves coded

klaus is a lonely character. this is something that's true throughout all the seasons, and we can see how in each season he finds a new replacement for personal connections or worse; a replacement for the love he had lost with dave. in season one he had already been a drug addict (which i will touch on in another point), in season two he seeks solace in his "alternative spiritual community"/cult, and in season three he looks for (familial) love with his father.

going further on season three's replacement, i think that it is by far the most impactful (whilst not being particularly relavent to how he relates to the song, but i want to talk about it whilst i'm thinking of it). klaus looked for familial love with an alternate version of his father because, in part, i think he saw some of himself in that reginald. he saw someone who was constantly drugged and was treated as a joke by his family and was essentially discarded whenever he wasn't useful. sound familiar? of course, that reginald wasnt actually much like klaus, but it's easy to see how if you're desperate for someone, anyone, to connect to you'd strive hardest to find it in the father who never loved you. the father who's affections you've been starved of your whole life. anyways, moving on

i think the direction i'm taking this one is pretty obvious; dave.

throughout the show there's multiple (sometimes rather subtle) moments where klaus clearly wishes for nothing more than to be with dave again. in a cruel joke from fate, it's discovered that klaus cannot permanently die, which only makes it harder for him. i believe that part of why he has such a difficult time moving on is due to the fact that dave died. obvious point, i know, so let me explain further. with most relationships, they'll end mutually. be it a calm break up, cheating, a fight, family issues, etcetera; most relationships have something that can clearly be defined as an "ending point". klaus and dave never got this, especially since klaus can communicate with the dead. in theory, klaus could talk with dave whenever he wants (at least in season one he could), so it'd be hard to really consider the relationship as being over.

after dave dies (and before the slight time reset) klaus swears to go sober so that he can see dave. he finds during the torture scenes that the only way for him to speak with ghosts is to he sober, but he knows that (in that moment) he wouldn't be able to go through with it unless he's physically restrained. he made the conscious decision to reach out to diego for help, hoping he'd be able to go sober for dave. time is rewound slightly and his meeting with dave and the whole restraint thing is undone, causing klaus to make different decisions regarding his sobriety. he still tries, yes, but in the end he has to have the drugs physically slapped away from him. in season two he is also sober, albeit much more successfully. he, once more, comes horribly close to relapsing to drinking when he goes to the store and buys all manner of alcoholic beverages (although they are all dropped and promptly broken when he arrives at his home).

im choosing to interpret this lyric in the less literal way because i think thats more interesting to interpret with klaus. i've already touched on him seeking love in other forms, so i won't dwell on that, but it may be touched on.

klaus is at rock bottom, in season three we watch him lose basically everything. he lost his one and only love, he lost his cult (although the degree to which he wanted them is debatable), he misplaced his trust, and he lost all hope to see dave again. he knows that there's no use in it, yet he can't help but yearn to be with dave. deep down klaus knows that not only can he not die, but the dave in the new reality may very well be out there somewhere; along with the fact that he will never be klaus's dave no matter how much he wishes. he will never be truly happy again, no matter how much he wishes.

[aura-acolyte]

🎙 Where did you first get the idea for Mare?

//Okay, so, story time. Let me take you back to August 2018. The world had gone to shit, Avengers Infinity War had recently released in theaters, and I was a 14 year old boy (probably) who had just discovered the internet.

//I had taken to browsing TV Tropes in my spare time, still do but not as frequently. Something, something, ruin your life. Anyways, TV Tropes has many pages for many different things, far beyond just TV and Tropes. Among those was fanfiction and through it I discovered a treasure trove of ages long past. That Golden Fandom Era of great cringe.

//You see, most of TV Tropes' pages on fanfiction are for some pretty old stuff. They've got pages on newer fics too, its a great source of advertising, but the website was launched in 2004 it goes back ages and newer fics aren't crosswicked as much. So much of my fanfiction exposure was older stuff. The classics. And, of course, one of the fic types I came across was Nuzlocke fics. The idea of doing a Nuzlocke Challenge intrigued me, and the idea of writing a fic about it more so. And thus, my journey bega.

//I booted up my favorite game in the series, Pokemon Alpha Sapphire, and restarted. incidentally wiping several years worth of event legendaries and the event Blaziken I'd carried over from XY out of existance. I'm sorry XY Event Blaziken with Speed Boost and Blazikenite. You will be missed. What was I saying?

//Oh right, I restarted Alpha Sapphire, selected the female pc with blissful ignorance of my own gender fluidity, named her Mare, and began my run... I wrote one chapter and then gave up because I got too attached to the Pokemon and having to release them made me cry. But, while that was the end for that fic, it was not the end for Mare. I tried to write several more fics for her which, uh, weren't good and can hopefully stay buried forever. 14 year old me had a bit of a perverted streak that I am not proud of.

//Then roleplaying came into the picture. I've been roleplaying for... this'll be my 8th year roleplaying online. Jeez. Anyways, I used to do forum roleplays before I got kind of tired of that and stopped. Takes a lot of effort to maintain a forum roleplay and, honestly, a lot of the people on the site I used were assholes, elitists, gatekeepers, or all three. But I'm not here to trash talk people behind their backs.

//So, I started a Pokemon forum roleplay and repurposed Mare for it. Because my Nuzlocke fic was inspired by classic Nuzlocke fics, Mare could understand Pokemon for no explained reason other than to make it easier for the reader to grow attached to them before they die. I also gave her enhanced strength because I thought a teenage girl punching out Archie would be funny. Now, for the roleplay space, I had to explain it. Luckily, I remembered a movie I'd watched as a kid, Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, and also by that point it was 2020 and I was an avid Smash Ultimate player who mained Lucario. So I gave her Aura powers to justify it, added on Aura Vision, discovered Sapphire Pokespe existed halfway through making her character sheet and used her as Mare's faceclaim, and bada bing bada boom, Marie "Mare" Birch was born. But we aren't quite at final form Mare yet.

//In February of 2023 I joined Tumblr and one month later, in March, I discovered Pokemon IRL. Eager to join in, I created a blog for... Caleb Vixen, normal fox guy and intended self insert. I created Mare's blog 20 days later. When I created the blog I expanded her Aura Powers to include durability, healing, and any moves a Lucario can use (Aura Sphere mainly), and gave her the epithet Chosen of Rayquaza. Also, she was the worst. Like, she was still a hero but she was also an asshole. This was true of all versions of Mare up to that point. Its kind of incredible looking at her right now where her defining personality trait is being nice vs back when I started where her defining personality trait was being an asshole. Oh, also, when the blog started it had been six months since her Journey ended not five years I don't know how that happened.

//So, Chosen of Rayquaza, what did that mean? Nothing. I just thought it sounded cool. But, when I had Mare make a little joke about "I don't know what Chosen of Rayquaza means" it quickly gained a meaning, largely thanks to @pinkhairandpokemon, who introduced me to the concept of Chosen AUs which I had no idea existed at the time. Anyways, Mare ended up with Rayquaza powers and a savior complex and also became much nicer. Then a bunch of other stuff happened and a good chunk of it had to be retconned away and now you're here.

//tl;dr, she came from a Nuzlocke fic.

[skullgirrl]

Thoughts on Kat x Dante and Kat x Vergil

I'm suffering through major writers block recently so to try and push myself out of this I'm going to write down my thoughts and hope that they are semi-coherent.💀

I adore a good love triangle.

I see Kat/Vergil and Kat/Dante as two different ship dynamics

Kat/Vergil - right person, wrong time

Kat/Dante - soulmates (whether platonic or romantic)

I am more preferential to Kat/Dante only because we see him actually begin to care for her more than Vergil seems to over the course of the game (if you've seen my blog you know the amount of Kante propaganda I post💀)

The events of the game:

In the beginning of the game, straight off the bat, it's clear Vergil and Kat are very close or "tight" as Dante so eloquently observes😂 Kat and Vergil work as a team. Kat is indebted to Vergil because he helped her out of a tough childhood. Vergil is indebted to Kat because she acts as his right hand. Although, there aren't many scenes in the game where Kat and Vergil are in the same room (much less, hold a conversation together) but we can still assume they're a team and generally like each other. Kat's closer to Vergil than any other member of The Order. Nice, okay...

But then, through the events of the game Kat and Dante have more scenes together. They talk, they trauma bond, and even though at the beginning Dante was weary of trusting Vergil or Kat, he seems to slowly come out of his shell with Kat and trusts them both because of it.

But the siege of The Order's headquarters is really when we get to fully see the "flip":

up until this point, Vergil seemed closer to Kat than Dante was (and perhaps Kat liked Vergil more as well) but the scales have slowly been tipping, increments of weight being adding in Dante's favor.

And then Vergil leaves Kat in the server room😭

the thing most striking to me about this scene imo is that Kat just seems to accept her fate. She accepts that there's no way out for her and accepts her martyrdom for Vergil's cause because Vergil had so easily accepted it too... but Dante doesn't.

He stays with her. He tells her what to do and how to appear the least threatening to the feds. He assures her that he will be back for her even if no one else is.

He shows her a kindness, a thoughtfulness and it humanizes him in this scene.

Dante has to argue with Vergil to go back and save Kat. Dante changes their whole plan because he doesn't want to let this one human girl die. A far cry from the beginning of the game where he brushed them off and said he "preferred to work alone"...

After all this, even after Vergil reveals his plan to rule over the humans, Vergil still seems surprised (or regretful?) that Kat doesn't back him up, but now Kat knows that she can't support him anymore. Vergil is too far gone, too different from the man who saved her from her foster father.

I also just realized that we can see this somewhat mirrored in the framing of the cutscenes:

In most of her scenes with Vergil, Kat is pushed to the back. She's out of focus and otherwise not the main draw of the scene. In fact, it's very easy to overlook her in the shadows.

Whereas in most of her scenes with Dante, Kat takes up as much space on the screen as he does. She's harder to overlook now paired with that fact that she actually has lines in her scenes with Dante. (although this may just be confirmation bias given she has so many more scenes with Dante💀 I think it's a nice parallel)

Closing thoughts, I like both pairings although I feel that the game devs planed for Dante to be endgame. I still like the idea of a love triangle between the three; Dante and Kat close after Vergil's betrayal, Vergil and Kat as old friends turned sour (past crushes? the one who got away possibly?), and Dante and Vergil being brothers but also vying for Kat's attention (blood is thicker than water).

Anyways thanks for reading (or skimming) take this as a treat:

[letstalkwhump]

Let’s Talk Whump No.7

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community. I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today we have @kira-the-whump-enthusiast joining us to share his whump story!

Tell us something non-whump related about yourself!

Hi I'm Kira! I'm just a guy on the internet who has something wrong with him (affectionate). Outside of whump I do a lot of regular OC stuff! Though, it always ends up angsty. I draw a shit ton, I watch video essays, and I pet my cat. He's adorable and amazing, by the way!

What does whump mean to you?

God, I don’t know man. It's when the character gets hurt and it makes me smile, I guess. For me it usually ends up being brutal torture of the physical or mental kind!

How did you discover the whump community? 

So I found the whump-culture-is blog, and I kinda skirted around the whole idea cuz I wasn't super comfortable with it yet. And then I stumbled upon Hazeshift by @whumpwillow!!! That was the story that got me into whump, it clicked a switch somewhere in my brain. And from there I started following more whump blogs, creating some OCs to whump, and eventually made a blog! Now I’m here.

It seems to be a common thread that everyone has a specific whump story that just clicked! Have you found that your whump tastes have changed over time?

I think my favorite tropes have largely stayed the same, same as my hard preference for OC over fandom. But I've gotten way more into making whumpy art lately! It's mostly on my art blog @kira-does-art-sometimes So, I haven't exactly been writing. I am still doing some though,  I'm just really bad at finishing it.

And your favourite whump tropes?

May the devil bless my soul, I am not mentally normal about any of this. 

First of all I am an avid whumper-turned-whumpee and villain whump fan. This is the Main Trope I enjoy because it is just so good. Look man, I just need to see the somewhat sympathetic (or not) bad guys get whumped and then maybe get a hug afterwards because even if they did bad shit before, they still don't exactly deserve bad things to happen to them? I dunno know, it's a bit soothing. Also god, there are so many good dynamics you would have. Reluctant caretakers, righteous whumpers, whumpees-turned-whumpers,,,, god, I am insane for this. Also the angst potential is ridiculous and I love it. 

I am also a fan of sicko shit like cannibalism and gore and vivisection. Like yes, cut that guy open and eat his organs. I will never not be normal about cannibalism and also I believe it is completely ethical if it's fully consensual. Anyways, fucked-up cannibalism is very good too. I need the people to eat each other. I need blood dripping from mouths and staining smiles. I need the faux-intimacy of feasting on another. Vivisection is also great for similar reasons. It is very Intense and Torture and I think it's fun!! You can also eat the whumpee's organs. Food for thought, pun intended! 

Glasgow smiles!I love those. I need to give more of my whumpees those. I just think it's neat and it's an alternative gag. You can't exactly talk without pain when your face has been slit open.

Immortal whump is the best. Because you can just do anything, really stretch a guy past their limits and then do it again!!! The fun never ends because they can't die, at least not permanently. Killing an immortal is underrated. And I don't mean permanently. I mean like bringing them back, again and again, and continuing the murder! Is that not fun?! 

Isolation in whump is very underrated. Solitary confinement is a form of torture after all. I think there's something very resonant for me about the simple. Lack of anything to the point that it drives you insane. The only thing making you like this are the walls cutting you off from the world. How do you explain that to people? I also like other fucked up forms of isolation like when the whumpee pretty much only interacts with the whumper or people on their side. The way that it can fuck them up is very intriguing to explore in writing I think. 

I realize this is somewhat sicko behavior. I have decided to not apologize for this. Also if the FBI is reading this, I um. I have little to no desire to do this in real life okay don't arrest me.

I think we’re all screwed if the FBI ever decides to look our way…I look forward to sharing a cell with you all! Do  you have a favourite piece you've written? 

I guess I'd definitely have to say Spirals and Solitaire is one of my better pieces!! Look. I just needed to write about a woman with depression. That's my favorite type of character. It combines a lot of my favorite tropes. A villain with angst for days being trapped in a room and slowly, slowly, going fucking insane. Getting way too attached to the only person that talks to them. And a bystander who doesn't help until it's too late. But better late than never hey? 

Also I am still a fan of Midnight Meal which is really surprising since it's like almost a year old I think? I think it holds up! I just like the cannibalism. And the gore. And I have gotten the best comments on it. Thank you to the nice people who left comments on it! Definitely my most sicko piece out of all my writing. Isaac's my favorite whumpee and this is not even the worst thing that happens to him, by the way. 

I also have this single series, Diamonds to Dust that I have definitely updated recently. I may or may not actually start writing the seventh chapter. I apologize for the radio silence on this lol. Storm and Zuri and Xavier are my beloveds. Also Lusik and Octavia are fucked up lesbians but I haven't gotten into that yet. My favourite toxic ship!

What's your writing routine like? Is there a must have drink or snack? 

My writing schedule fucking insane to be honest. Kinda goes like: 

- At a random point in time I get an idea. 

- I ruminate on the idea for an extended period of time. From like a week to a year. Average is prolly a couple months. 

- After the rumination I finally get some words on the goddamn paper! I write in fucking simplenote cuz I can access it on all my devices. 

- The words never get finished on the first day. From then it is three days to two months until I continue the goddamn thing. Or I just don't. Sometimes that happens. 

- And then the editing. Oh god. The editing. Suffice to say I hate it, I hate it, I hate it but it's necessary so I do it. Actually this takes like two weeks max cuz again. Hate it to shreds. I send it to my lovely whump friends for beta reading. I love yall!

- And then post. God help me when I do that. 

This is why I never post anything sorry about that. 

Usually I write in my very comfy bed in the evening. I don't really munch on snacks or drinks when I write.

Is there anything specific that you find easy to write?

I find that it's pretty easy for me to write characters with depression. When the character is just angsting and going through the emotional ringer, it's pretty easy for me to write stuff. Honestly that's probably how I got Spirals and Solitude finished so quickly. It's literally just like three thousand words of Wrenna having depression. I really struggle with writing like pure fluff. I dunno know,  I just find it hard to create a good conflict when it's so lighthearted.

And  do you have any current projects?

I have like a couple WIPs who are not finished yet. I may finish and post them one day. I am also always drawing. Probably of my OCs or fan art of my friend's OCs!

Bless us with some writing advice please!

You ask me??? For writing advice. Uhhhh I dunno man. Just get a little silly with it. Being Quality is overrated. Someone's probably gonna read it and get something out of it even if it's just like seven words in comic sans or whatever. Or maybe you are the one who reads it and gets something out of it! Self deprecation is overrated too. Your writing is probably fine. It is probably even good. Likely, it is even great and amazing! 

Shoutouts?

Huge shout out to @whump-in-the-closet for being extremely cool and having the best OCs and writing. And also listening to my little sicko OC rants!

@whumpcloud has literally some of the best whump stories I've ever read like god! I go feral for their characters. 

@zillastar13 has extremely amazing writing and very good taste. Love their art!

Anything you'd like to add? <3

Lowkey I think we as a community need more transgender characters. In any role. I just need to see more guys who are transgender. Who get a little funky with their gender. Who maybe even have their transsexuality impact the story in some way. Same for like, characters of color and female characters. I'd love to see whumpees with lots of different backstories and female characters in lots of different roles in the narrative. I personally don't think that the violence that women and minorities face in real life necessarily has to be analogous to the violence faced by a character in a story. I know it can go very badly but it can get a little tiring sometimes to only find stories with cis white male characters. Variety pls.

It was awesome to have you here, Kira! Thanks for stopping by!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[adoranoia]

okay so, i have a lot of lore abt the world of LN in general, but it's wrapped up in a lot of my six interpretation, so! i will link you to her blog as well, just to set you up a bit. anyway, let's gooooo--‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ >the spiral is the cluster of places in the dead middle of the main -lands, a pangea-esque continent that makes up the nowhere as a whole. the land itself twists in on itself, getting darker, more distorted the deeper you go, much like a black hole of sorts. >some kids were born in the nowhere, some kids were trapped there, slowly pulled in slowly worsening nightmares. alone was the latter, originally being a scrapy, young southern girl, living a rather average life in the elsewhere, a less frightening world.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ >her nightmares began after her family life began to decline, with her parent's divorcing. then, an subsequent move to a new place, up north, with her mother. eventually, the nightmares consumed her entirely, causing her to become trapped in nowhere after curiosity struck, following the ferryman into the dark swirling mist.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ >her worldly horror is the north wind, who often referred to her as 'alone', or 'lonely' during their first few interactions, which the girl quickly reclaimed, and is now using it as a new nickname.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ >she's been in the nowhere for about eight months, having met low after two, and they have been working together ever since.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ >isn't super big on getting back to the elsewhere, though wouldn't express such to low. she can't help her curiosity, wanting to learn this world inside and out. plus, she feels as if she doesn't have much to return to, anyway.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ >wants to be a pilot, like her grandfather was. she was very close to him before he passed while she was still in the elsewhere. she has a small toy plane, gifted to her by him, it's still a prized possession. >likes creating gadgets and little robotic friends to help out her and low, taking scarp parts and other debris from their surroundings.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

>a la the icon above, alone is missing one of her front teeth, after it was proba -bly knocked out accidentally somehow. she also has little freckles! thank you. >a fact i think is really funny is, if alone ever gets kidnapped, like six in the second game, she would make her captors life hell, until low saves her, or the bitter end. she will not shut up ie asking them questions abt themselves, making dumb jokes and laughing, singing tv jingles from the pale city, etc etc. she knows low will come for her, but if something goes wrong, then... she doesn't want to die angry, crying, whatever. she wants to die smiling, bec -ause it feels like the biggest fuck you to the nowhere, and it's inhabitants.

[000life-is-meaningless000]

Fuck, All 6 of These Mother Fucker's ! ! ! ! !

All six are fucking Worthless !

.

.

.

you are to embrace the darkness, but bow down to know mother fucking demon, bow down to know deity bow down to no demon life is worthless.

.

.

.

in my message I want you to understand the day teas are real God is 100% fucking real and that reality is a paranormal extremely spiritual existence but the same time I look at it all and I realize it is all very dishearteningly worthless

.

.

.

if you're not things I wanted to help people I always try to fight this I fought it for years, but no matter how hard I farted I couldn't fight the fact that it was really worthless life is worthless everything's worthless all that isn't worthless is the darkness that wants to set you free the darkness has a very dark love for you everyone shuns the darkness everyone condemns the darkness everyone hates the darkness and they're right for many reasons why to do that to the darkness

But, at the same time the Darkness is Right !

. . . . . . .

the only Master you should ever have is the darkness, which is very very hypocritical because at the same time then again the darkness might be a deity.

I know it became hypocritical in the same sentence or more like the same post, I don't know where I think I've contradict myself at the same fucking time.

I'm not perfect, I got good data but I'm not perfect, so maybe maybe you should just be worshiping the spiritual force that is the darkness itself the force that is beyond all the elements the force that is equal to the light but may be Greater ?

Yes, many of these things are cartoons but they hold a message.

you see I'm on fucking Tumblr I'm on the new Tumblr cuz the old Tumblr fucking died and we all knew it was going to die.

is he on the new Tumblr you have to be super duper fucking careful with God damn mother fucking everything you fucking do.

on this new fancy fangled family friendly version of the internet you lose freedom of speech freedom expression and freedom of fucking everything.

The internet is basically become an open-air prison.

😡

in a way of speaking you're allowed to come in but you're not like the same thing you really want to say expressing you want to express and God know you're not allowed to post any pornography or Gore.

no posting gory stuff no posing Vore, don't pose anything epic or exciting or dark or demonic no spiritual evil stuff.

the internet become a very very censored place, censored and extremely limited the most evil button on the internet now is the report button.

there's a goddamn fucking reason why my posts are so watered down I wish I could intensify these God damn things I have way more intense dark Ultra demonic shit I like to post

😡 - and a lot more epic deep things I would like to say but the same time I have been having the sensor myself limit myself and be very fucking careful what I actually say I'm about to say life is fucking meaningless but beyond that God damn point I'm not allowed to go too deep in the dark understanding of why everything is fucking shit and he'll never be good no matter what the fuck you do.

you are my allowed to really explain why the darkness loves you.

😡 - There's, No Love Like Dark Love.

. . . . . . .

anyway I just want to let you know that I know my posts are super duper watered down they're kind of corny and boring sometimes, another time I try to ramp things out cuz I I'm daring and play little spice in it knowing that someone could probably get to that fucking report button and kill my whole Tumblr fucking blog I've had multiple Tumblr blocks I've had I've lost so many fucking accounts on the internet ever since the whole internet became so God damn fucking family friendly I've lost I think I've lost up to 12 fucking Discord accounts maybe like one or two reddit Account's.

I want time got my main Tumblr blog deleted and I didn't know what the fuck it was for then I got it back luckily.

I've gotten my Instagram account banned and I luckily got that fucking back but I keep saying it with luckily but there's nothing good there nothing to come back to no joy no interaction is fucking nothing.

so what the fuck is the luck getting your account back when they when they when they when the website is shit it's like getting your life back when everything is shit & your cursed.

😡 - WHAT THE FUCK IS THERE TO GAIN ! ?

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you God damn know that, Satanism is fucking bullshit and all the other goddamn motherfuckers that dumb ass damn ass fucking store God damn retards.

Also, Fuck The God Seth,

the primordial God of darkness and blah blah blah chaos except for his best friend is raw the God of Light and Horace he loves those motherfuckers he want a true deity of evil and darkness why don't you kiss the ass with a snake if the snake even has an ass name is a pop it and he's a complete monster.

The Goth attached protected Horace and raw but apoff is protected no one and stay true and non-hypocritical to the darkness the entire fucking time.

reptilian stayed evil were evil or pure fucking evil never became hypocratically evil and we're always in the Damned the day fucking evil.

Despite apophis is a big fucking snake or shall I say the early evolution of dragons, in a way you could probably be a ancient dragon of dark even though he's just a giant fucking snake get a lot of dragons look like just snakes.