#and like. idk
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I think an important emotional thing that I’m working on is Not mirroring emotions
#camera talks#this isn’t about anything rn it’s just about stuff I’ve been thinking#but like. it’s really bad for me#I think it’s because as a household I felt like I had to match the emotions of my family or else everything was bad and like. wrong#and now it’s just carried on#and I feel Awful if im happy and others are sad#or others are sad and im happy#so sometimes I try not to interact with sadder things/people when im really happy bc I don’t want to ruin it#but also I don’t want to avoid stuff like that and so im trying to just get better in general#and like. idk#it’s hard especially as someone who’s emotions are so fragile and toe the line constantly#like. god my emotional crashes are hard and Bad#and that’s not fun#and idk im trying but it’s gonna take a while probably#anwyays. I’ve had an overall good day I think#so far#it’s leaning more mediocre now but
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mmmmgmngmn 10 billion discord friends and tumblr followers who i simply No Longer Talk To.... ive been meaning to for FOREVER but i might finally go down all the lists and just. unfriend unfollow etc bc it annoys me so much when it gets so cluttered 😭😭😭
#alyalyoxenfree#I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT DOING IT BUT LIKE. mmmmm it Bothers me AND i havent done it in years and years. on account of. feeling so bad about it#which means i have years and years of ppl i no longer talk to and/or no longer rly Want to talk to just. there#and im exhausted enough that im feeling SO brave about it surely i can do this. surely i can go through and remove ppl#and not feel soul crushing guilt about it bc sometimes thats just How Things Are#and like. idk#im Friendly with ppl i wouldnt consider myself friends with but like#i will fucking die before i do anything whatsoever to tell people 'yeah were friends!' when i dont actually feel that way or want that#id so much rather be the asshole who just kind of drifts and stops talking to people than put any real effort into like#making things seem like theyre good or okay or like i still want to talk to them or anything when i Know I Am Lying#i HAVE had situations w/ ppl where i was also lying to Myself about thinking i still wanted to be friends with them#so i was reassuring them not realizing myself that it was. yknow. extremely shallow and untrue#but im trying to be more honest with MYSELF about that stuff too which is also part of why i am Finally Doing This#spring cleaning type shit idk#explodes forever#1am cleaning out all my friends lists and followers and dms time 💪💪💪
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got bored, decided to make a WoW travel map. its black and white to make the dots stick out more
#my post#world of warcraft#what i considered cities is a little subjective#cause if i went with what the wiki counts as cities it wouldve been way more and youd probably be like 'wtf'#also thunder totem and bel'ameth and i think?? suramar?? are able to be entered by both factions#but i just marked them as faction specific because of their associations#like obviously thunder totem belongs to a horde race and bel'ameth is the new home of the night elves yknow#i couldve tried to draw lines between things like ports and stuff but honestly that wouldve been so busy#and like. idk#ig if anyone cares about this and wants me to add more i could LOL#this was just made for fun#i obv didnt label anything or show which port connects to where or portals and blah blah#also dont mind anything on the map corners that are addon specific ok its obv a screenshot of my game
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people will be like everyone in nyc is so mean. but like, after my appendectomy, a dude I worked with for maybe a month sent his girlfriend to my apartment with enough easy to make food for two weeks. the guy who dropped off my laundry refused to let me help him drag it from the front door to my room, and then asked if I needed help unloading it. the family owned pharmacy I use delivered my pain meds so I wouldn’t have to go get them. my roommates walked my dog and put my bed on the floor so I wouldn’t have to pick kodiak up to put him on it. a woman saw me crying outside of a restaurant once and just came and sat next to me until I calmed down. after my dad died, one of my dog walking clients surprised me with a one day pass to comic con on the day david tennant would be there as a christmas bonus. I have seen more random kindness in this city than anywhere else and like. bad people are everywhere. mean people are everywhere. but there is so, so, so much good. and that’s so wonderful.
#sorry the guy who sent his girlfriend to my apartment with food#just posted something on instagram#and like. it hit me how he did that and we like#never really spoke afterwards#like I said thank you profusely of course#but he did it because he had the same surgery a few years before#and was also alone in the city#and knew how scary it was#and like. idk#people are GOOD.
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ugh
#i feel a bit bad today#like. UGH#i cant really explain its just. ugh#my father has just been being shitty and its just making me annoyed#and like i feel like all these little things are piling up#and like. idk#i just got upset like just now bc like my parents just love to shit on the things i like#esp music GOD. my mom just seems to pick an artist i like at random and hate them#and just uuugh#i wanted to draw today to but i just couldnt i dont feel like i can get anything done rn#i just feel listless and bad#i really wanted to do my denki mystery au ai lore dump#i might do it later on tonight but idk#sigh
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Really interesting thing I glimpsed on rednote today




I think We- we’re developing international class consciousness 
#ryders rambles#LIKE idk man i think it’s really cool how we’re learning about each other Ill be back with the reverse once I found a post on it
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jinx and isha visit a walmart
#arcane#league of legends#art tag#real ones know ive used this meme before. in a league setting too#and now u do not shhhh#ANYWAYS! what more can i say#i love isha. i love isha and jinx maybe perhaps maybe the season kinda ended with 2 episodes of act 2 i mean what#haha what#i hope... idk what i can hope i was like in despair the week i finished act 2 HAHAHA#:( love them sm#jinx#jinx arcane#lol#jinx league of legends#isha#isha arcane#isha fanart#lol fanart#arcane fanart#jinx and isha#arcane isha#arcane jinx#DAMN WHAT MORE CAN I ADD#stupids
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the old cistern beneath the flood control system
#my art#oubliette#musca#still lacking like enemies and stuff for this area#idk maybe it's quiet here#mine#but i welcome ideas if anyone has any#i was thinking like eels or something idfk#since this is a pretty wet area but not that creepy#sorry for spam lol i have so much crap i havent posted#this is neither rainworld nor elaborate mothman fanart but those tags have been making me laugh
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a wandering knight, drawn to the quiet of the forest. her touch may be a blessing or a curse.
#my art#artists on tumblr#illustration#knight whose touch turns anything into plants and it can vary from subject to subject. she came to this power 'mysteriously'#the transformation is also dependent on how long contact is maintained... smiley face....#idk maybe once in a while i'll drop something like this. it's fun to think of a character while trying to banish an art block#also thanks for liking the wip of this!!!!
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I was rambling on the issue of museums and human remains and how certain populations are more likely to have their bodies put on display to be gawked at and then went "well I guess the Pompeii casts were of Europeans. there are bones in there right?" and Googled it to make sure, at which point I confirmed that yes there are bones in there, but more interestingly DNA testing revealed that a cast of an adult holding a child everyone assumed was a mother and child were, in fact, a man and a kid entirely unrelated to him. Honestly that's more moving to me. Maybe they were connected in a way other than blood, but maybe a stranger saw a child when the world was ending and thought the one thing he could do was hold them.
#or maybe he was the babysitter. idk#crack open a pompeii cast like a kinder egg and there's teeth in there#now personally if people wanted to put my bones on display I'd be cool with it#maybe I'll decide to donate myself to science idk. I don't want to be used to practice face lifts though...#writing in my will 'if someone wants to have my skull on their bookshelf that's fine. put a candle inside it'#why this
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i think we've done a great job expanding the view of what a child's favorite animal can be. kids these days can say they love axolotls or pangolins or coelecanths and their decision is respected. maybe their parents can even find them a stuffed animal of it if they know where to look. and i think that's beautiful
#irrelevance#but maybe it's always been like that. idk. i'm sure kids in the 50s liked strange and exotic beasts
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my best friend PROBABLY FRAUD really needs to give me space sometimes
#idk why this is so funny to me#never seen my phone label a call PROBABLY FRAUD#i've seen Scam Likely but not this
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it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
#making this at 2 am was like top 10 autism moment for me#this is helping me make sense of so many things hopefully it helps someone else too idk#user macdenlover drops badly drawn infographic media literacy rates skyrocket theres world peace#anyways#for sunny 1.5 is the sweet spot for me. a sexy medium rare if u will#but it completely depends on the piece of media#with supernatural i was a 2.5 on a good day.
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so follow me into the dark
#deltarune spoilers#deltarune#utdr#dess holiday#december holiday#the roaring knight#i wanted to do a dess design......#i like to think susie and dess are a little similar which is maybe why noelle and kris both were able to see through her tough girl demeano#idk.... idk.........
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i love you vaccines i love you research i love you reading the book instead of having chatgpt summarize it i love you critically thinking rather than reacting to a headline i love you investigating the source material i love you science i love you math even though you are personally my enemy (math/yn slowburn) i love you writing even though you try to stab me a lot i love you Experts in Your Field i love you Using The Brain
#i don't read fanfic so idk what my math x op ship name should be#.... i love u math.... despite our differences.... :/ u work i guess#not like for ME. never for ME. but like for other people you seem pretty reliable.#... SOMEONE (me) has a LEARNING DISABILITY#edit: thank u to the anon who suggested i refer to math as my rival. u are so right.... not enemies... no...#*locks hands with math* bonded........ 2gether.... 2 sides of da coin... both under threat of AI... i luv u math#(<- still clearly never understands whenever math speaks bc literally what is going on over there. the fuck is a polynomial)
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