#and like...idk i got mad vitamin deficiencies

[2000sweed]

i love how i had my period of mommy issues lasting from childhood and now my mom is actually improving and being nicer but we have entered the era of daddy issues

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

Anyone else not really care if spending time in the sun makes them "age" early.

[slavichorror]

Same anon that sent you that super lengthy hate ask about fuller here - wanted to add juuust a little bit (a lot) more bc I saw your tags about s4 lol. Idk if you have seen Fuller’s takes about what would possibly happen in s4 if he were to write it... but like, we REALLY don’t want s4 to happen if it is going to be under his direction. His favorite ideas are either that Will will go insane bonkers and just lose his mind to the point where he will forget who tf he is, that Hannibal will start manipulating the shit out of Will (me when I don’t know what the fuck is happening in the show that I wrote myself), or that Will was actually playing mindblowing inception 15D chess and after both of them survive the fall he multiplies Hannibal by 0 and then goes back to Molly to continue being a deadbeat stepdad I guess. There were multiple other interpretations from him because as you know his brain is deficient in every vitamin known to humanity and if he will not contradict his own words he will die, but those are his favorite. So like, if s4 is happening what we gonna see is Hannibal and Will going through murder conversion therapy (thank you Fuller for this wonderful home of sexual representation). The fact that the show got canceled when it did is actually a gift from god and we have been blessed. All I need is Mads’ interpretation where Will and Hannibal are living in Cuba with a dog named Encephalitis. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

oh my god. Oh my god

[edds-fuxking-corner]

dear diary, it's been a while

so my doctor told me a while back I have insulin resistance and vitamin D deficiency (which explains a lot) and I'm sure sth is going on with my cycle bc I keep feeling like shit before my period. the only time I didn't feel like shit was the previous month, when I'd fixed my diet but then I got covid and food poisoning and went on vacation and now I'm back home alone and its fucked up again and idk if I have the willpower to bring it under control again especially when there aren't others around (I rlly have to look more into this shit i do, acting "proper" when others can see what I do)

so anyways that was supposed to be a catch-up but I started thinking again. now time for the venting

so one of my friends got on my nerves bc I felt like she acted bitter towards me going on vacation this specific time (I mean, these were the dates my brother was free). and I got more mad when the few times we hang out she'd message her other friends of her bf and listen to their am and answer them with her own am but when I'd send her an am and she was with her other friends she'd always tell me she can't listen to it bc she'd outside. and then she was supposed to go to the city on Tuesday so i planned to leave the earliest I could, on Wednesday, and she ended up leaving on Thursday and staying with her bf until today, when she was supposed to come to me but she ended up going back to her own house bc her brother would come back and she didn't want her folks to find out she was in the city I live. and I hate this, I feel neglected, I feel like she keeps choosing others over me, but I can't tell her anything abt it because she listens to me, she helped me when I broke down and when we thought I had covid, she started using my name and pronouns right away and she was very understanding when I came out and she's really fucking amazing and supportive and I feel like i'm asking too much already and I'm just looking at a gifted donkey's teeth

and then there's my other friend, it's also a similar situation with them. when we were hanging out the other day, after MONTHS, they kept texting to their bf but now I've send them messages since more than ten hours ago but they haven't even read them and a mutual friend has uploaded pics of them so ik they're awake and fine, they've just decided what is more important, and I guess that's not me. and I can't talk to them either abt it because they've also been really supportive and they've been there for me so long, but also because, xue to their trauma, they'd feel guilty and if what I'm feeling is true, they wouldn't admit it bc they're a people pleaser

I just want to stop talking to everyone, stop texting first and see who will text me just to text me, not to ask for help or advice or to vent. I wanna leave and be by myself, that way I can't be hurt by anyone

ye and taking abt this, today I went to get some engineering notes from a dude and after I got them I realised I hadn't registered on those two classes in which I have rlly good notes, so I can't take part in the exams, and those two exams were the only ones I was sure I'd pass, so now I have to study for the harder ones and I started getting anxious and afraid that I won't pass and I started thinking "well I won't pass anyway so why try?" and I hate this i hate this so much i wanna start studying, I wanna learn, i wanna pass my fucking classes but I'm too afraid of failure to even try and I want this to stop

also I've asked my brother if he'd belf me find a psychologist and he said yes but knowing him he'll just forget it however many times I remind him so ye what even us the point of living Lmfao most things feel just like a simulation anyway