#and likes to fuck with people for fun while talking abt myself so much but saying so little

[fleshdyke]

absnskaisgbsj

[astrxealis]

lune playing cuphead in class silly silly

[clericlost]

lately i’ve been feeling so much like. cheering clapping applause to be here with y’all but all the enthusiasm is stuck in a snowglobe that i can’t figure out how to break cause it’s made of fear pain agony because social anxiety every time i log on :/

[seventh-district]

okay time for another vent post or i’m gonna explode

-

istg if i have to call another ambulance to come out here i might as well go ahead and call for two cause i’m gonna need one for myself as well

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

[parentsday]

Hiii! Since you asked about headcanons/analysis stuff:

There's a common interpretation on the fandom about Max's treatment of David in the early episodes coming, at least partially, from trust issues regarding adults/authority figures. And I've seen push back against it, too. People who say it's just because David is annoyingly positive. Nothing else.

And sure, I can see that. But Nikki also acts in a cheerful manner and mostly enjoys camp, and Max doesn't treat her with the level of rudeness he treated David in season one. This could be due to her being his little partner in crime, but idk. I always interpreted it as him thinking that David is some fake nice adult who will just let him down if he allows it.

And, while I was thinking about this, I realized how this interpretation of Max's behaviour towards David adds another heartbreaking layer to Parents day.

Max's perception of David started changing after Order of the sparrow, specifically after the "Somebody fucking has to" moment. For just a moment, the annoying, overly positive persona drops, and Max is able to see a nuanced human being. And it's clear that he starts understanding David a little more, because in Cult camp (literally the next episode), he allows himself to be brainwashed and trusts that David will save the camp (btw, we as a fandom don’t talk about this aspect of this episode enough).

So yeah, his perception of David changes for the better.

But then, parents day happens.

And David spends most of the episode being an absolute jerk, even if he doesn't realize it.

He pushes SO HARD to try and make the day perfect, basically ignores Max when he states that his parents aren't coming, gets way too serious about playing the role of Max's dad for the day, forces Max into the activities and then, at the end of a day that was already shitty for Max, he yells at him.

I think the context of Max's opinion on David finnaly becoming more positive makes this episode so much sadder.

Because it ceases to be just about Max's neglectful parents.

Now it's also about the closest thing he has to a trustworthy adult making him uncomfortable, ignoring his feelings and then yelling at him and telling him that he "has a bad attitude" and "brings everyone else down instead of trying just a little bit to have fun".

(Which are things he must have heard from adults before, if he behaves the way he does at camp in school and other places)

Remember in Friends like these when he said "Life's just one dissapointment after another. I can't belive I let myself forget it"? I think he might have had the same train of thought here: "I can't believe I let myself forget David is an asshole that only cares about impressing Campbell and making this stupid camp look good". Or: "I can't believe I let myself forget that every single adult thinks I'm a bad kid and a lost cause."

And I know it gets fixed quickly, with David apologizing shortly after, but still. I think the idea of Max being dissapointed at David in Parents day, even if it was just for some moments, is so good.

I also think this is the episode that comfirms to Max that David is genuinely a good person trying his best. He spent the entire day having to think about the fact that his parents suck, and then there's David, who is kind, apologizes for upsetting him and takes him to eat pizza and have a little heartfelt talk.

When was the last time his parents apologized to him, or cared about what he wanted/needed, or talked to him so gently?

The contrast between his parents and David is so big, and I think that's what makes Max finnaly go "Yeah, this guy isn't actually that bad."

(Sorry for rambling, omg.)

hi first of all thank u for an ask and such insightful one at it too !! this was an incredibly pleasant read and a lot of the stuff you say i personally find very good analysis of the show and agree with, however i do have some stuff to say abt it soo here we go ^-^ (this will be a long one so sorry about this in advance)

as i said in some previous reply, max is an incredibly peculiar guy when it comes to the way this show treats his trauma and the way he himself behaves as a result of it, and that’s by design! a lot of the thing he says and does in the first two seasons when it comes to david are there for reasons of narrative set up, and are later masterfully recontextualized by parents day later, leaving very little room for interpretation when it comes to how and why he operates. im gonna go out on a limb and say that i don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that most of his actions towards david in the early show stem from the childish born-from-trauma need for attention and also from his need for societal reinforcement of his own ego’s right to exist. when it comes to the first one i see most people agree (bc it’s a basic child psychology fact), but turn their noses in reference to the second one.

contrary to popular belief, max being in need of constant affirmation that he, as a person with little self value, deserves to exist next to other people is something that we see examples of constantly and is not a terrible part of his character that needs to be ignored. max is a neglect victim who from our knowledge is given very little attention by his parents, as a result of it he is a pessimistic asshole kid whose ego suffers from the very thing that made it this way. its in his strained relationship with nikki and neil, its in him arguing with david to put himself in the position of an adult, its him putting himself above others when it’s not needed and its in him putting his own egos safety first when time comes to accept that things are moving forward (two final episodes from both s3 and s4 are good examples of this). its not an inherently positive trait, but it is one okay for him to have by the virtue of being a young abused child with no support system, and denying it will leave him devoid of this characterization. in freudian (ugh) terms, we cannot separate his character’s superego from his id in a way that won’t harm the way he was intentionally written. Id, ego and superego are all influenced by our relationship with our parents, the amount of nurturing of a child's emotional and psychological needs parents does will result in the child’s psychological state forming a certain way, max as a character who is heavily reliant of his lackluster relationship with his parents is not devoid of this and it affects his relationship with david too. and the reason i’m saying all of this is exactly due to this.

david, when put in most simple terms, is a character who’s an adult figure present and mature enough in max’s current social position that it allows him to treat max as a child, something max is not used to. not used to to such an extent that it puts a strain on his ego in the process. david feeds his need for any form of attention, positive or not, just as much as he clips away at max’s need to be seen as socially important and in a position of an adult. it’s arguable if both of these are good or not but the main thing they are in relation to is obvious: max feels that being an adult who meets both of his psychological needs in ways that are unfamiliar to him makes david an untrustworthy person, thats exactly where you interpretation comes in clutch.

max and his behavior towards david cannot be separated from david being an adult, that is made clear with the way he treats nikki as an equal just because she is a person his age, despite her sharing a lot of david’s traits. going through the episodes you mentioned, order of the sparrow episode lets max see david perspective for the very first time. max is allowed to peek into the reason why david acts the way he does, however it alone doesn’t make him see david in a good light, if anything it makes him appear genuine in his actions. it also lets max have something for david that he didn’t have before: trust. it ends up being used in cult camp as a confirmation of it being something david can live up to (you are absolutely right, we really don’t talk abt this episode and it’s narrative weight enough). all of this has been adding onto the way max himself perceives david, parents day, however, lets both of them internalize the sentiment of mutual understanding towards each other together. parents day does this by lampshading max and david parallelism, making this whole episode consist of max seeing his parents in david just as much as david sees himself in max through the whole show and putting them in each others shoes by the end of it. the episode ends with david choosing max as a priority, he is still acting selfishly (once again david is an asshole) but choosing to do so towards max because the situation allows him to understand max the way s1 finale let max understand him. and with the final turning point in their dynamic, max understands that both his ego and need for attention can exist without them being reinforced by an adult treating him like he is an adult too. max was chosen as a priority for the very first time and that alone made him feel of more value than the treatment he initially yearned for would have. above all else parents day makes max see david as someone he can look up to as a person in emotional way, not only in a life or death situations, the shot of david from his perspective in the end making sure that we don’t miss it.

most of this is not me disagreeing with you, on the opposite i think a lot of the arguments you make are nice and are mindful interaction with the media. gold star for enjoying meta analysis to both of us i guess ⭐️. my main problem is, however, the fact that using all of this to basically say ‘maxs parents suck so he has a distain for david because of it’ is a heavy oversimplification that you somehow go against in your initial statement too and that i, personally, just don’t enjoy. this alone does not make your interpretation wrong though, if anything just reinforces your general idea into a more concrete argument rather than a collection of bits and pieces of evidence pointing to it. hope all of this made sense

tldr; man idk no summing up this one as to not take away from the overall statement im making with this. read the post 🫶

[trainingdummyrabbit]

which character ya wanna post about? (invitation to go off)

ouuHGUHUGHHG ive been rotating this around for hours bc ive redirected myself like 5 times since u sent it but ithink i got it i got it this time. i wanna talk abt porccubus. ok gimme a minute gimme a minute

so like. i know theyre technically the same thing, across lobcorp/ruina, but i really really wanna dissect the weird contrast it has going on there. (though, isuppose, their "same"ness is kinda up in the air re:abnos, considering there was a librarian snippet abt child of the galaxy being more "vicious", but wwwwwweh [waves hands around])

so like. the thing about lobcorp porccubus is that its just. an odd fucking creature. like yeah obviously, but its about the way its perception seems to weave around it. its core themes, that of pleasure and euphoria, uncontainable and uncontrollable, would imply that its something impulsive, stimulation-seeking, something that is driven wholly by desire and would be difficult to pin down. however, the way that its logs and flavor text are written give off a much more... subdued vibe, for lack of better words to describe it.

it is the source of that elation, yes, but everything in the way it holds itself is so withdrawn. it simply floats there, yes, but there is little to no mention of it making any moves of its own (which, now that i recheck its info log, is also mentioned plaintext!) and its in-work flavor text seems to speak with the tone of someone Studying it, Speaking about it, rather than observations of its movements or descriptions of its mindset. its all very distant. speaking in third person to someone who is listening. ...right?

which is to say: whats wrong with this dog. its story implies direct exploitation yet it just… it Just. its some strange little animal. its not malevolent and trying to kill people for fun. but it also isnt all sad like petals plucked from a daisy. it just Is. it has almost the same sort of feel as some sort of object. and yet it is clearly alive. does it have a will? it must; as abnormalities Do. so what is it? it functions by its own rules and just kinda Goes Here. does it want? does it need?

porccubus itself acts more like a Service or Trade than an actual creature. you walk in and interact with it, and it knows what to do in response. game of trust - it does a little song and dance as is its nature, yet doesnt seem to desire much more.

which also brings me to the shackle-- the little necklace around its neck. it speaks about how it was chained up, for whatever reason, and yet nobody seems to have any idea why. and porccubus... just doesnt seem to mind it. never mentions it. its such a particular type of indifference. (i suppose another good question is what is it shackled to?) and even further still... what does it mean that the ego gift it grants Is that necklace?

lc!porccubus as a creature is laced with restraint. both in a literal sense, And in an internal sense. pleasure and euphoria, yet it is definitively restrained. it cannot reach out first. it does not act on its own, but rather waits for something else to reach out First. even when it breaches, it (according to what im reading,) simply... waits. waits for an approach. (you Must approach it. it has to be a Choice.) theres something very Aimless about it, mechanical almost. i cant really sum it up in any way other than That Is An Animal.

...which brings a very interesting contrast between It and its Ruina counterpart. in the library, its much more Jubilant. it speaks, for one, which is something i straight up didnt know it did for a while. the way that it presents itself outwardly is much more outspoken-- inviting, wanting someone to engage, trying to persuade that first step. it yearns! pet it! it wants to share what it has to give, but it still wants that hand of yours offered to it First. its happy! its happy! come be happy with it!! dance with it, play with it! its demeanor is so much more forward, more present... more conscious.

and crucially... that shackle is no longer tied about its neck. rather, it dangles loose from the end of its tail, almost like an accessory rather than something granted/given to it. does this represent the release of former ties? it certainly acts more free than it did before-- whatever was holding it back, is it gone now? is its shift in demeanor the jubilant frolicking of that which has never been able to soar? is this what allows its nature of wishing to share that elation to shine through? much like a dog chained to a stake, finally being set loose in an open field.

in an unspoken turn of events, porccubus seems to focus on Release. release of ties, release of inhibitions, release of that which had been holding you back. it wants nothing more than to give what it is experiencing to those which are weighed down by things that keep them unhappy. and yet, it does nothing to truly alleviate what those woes are, simply covering them up with a layer of unrelenting sweetness.

..............which of course, brings me to angela. yeah yall thought i could go an essay without her?? lol. lmao.

on the floor realization centered around her staunch desire to live, it almost seems to stick out like a sore thumb. with all of the withdrawn mourning and wishing that the rest of the phases share, pleasure is an odd slap in the face, almost. but... it really does make it hit that much harder-- Especially with that which was expanded upon above. the imagery of unshackling yourself from that which held you down, allowing yourself to feel things you never were able to-- never were Allowed to. is that not what she stands for, here?

its reaching towards an open door, trying to grasp to any amount of Living that you can reach-- you deserve that much, at least. at the Very least. you Have to be allowed something. but not only is it that desire, but its also the Ignorance. the understanding that no matter what you mask it with, all that baggage still remains. chasing those short, intense bursts of happiness-- everything else still continues to eat away at what's underneath. and yet, theres still a consciousness to that. even further than that, a commitment.

who cares what becomes of you because of this? this happiness-- this which you were never allowed to so much as dream of-- is right within your grasp. and to taste it for even the smallest of moments, the briefest amount of time-- that makes it worth it. it was all worth it. nothing matters more than this complete devotion to sensation. it doesnt matter if it tears you apart from the inside, this is what you were always looking for. this is what you deserve. and youll do anything to hold onto it.

in some odd way, it really is about rotting.

in conclusion,

[spacedustmantis]

poly pirates thoughts? theyre so important to me!! and i always like to read ur posts abt riptide :]

oughg god! they are so! ok. collecting myself.

obviously they are family. chip is down bad for gillion we know that, also navyseal yuri real and canon. but it goes deeper than that. these people have been by each other's side through all of their development as people. chip going from the bastard pirate to a sensible (if sometimes stupid) adult trying his best to do good by the people he loves, jay coming out of the navy influence and seeing the world for what it is, growing into herself and her freedom, and gillion quite literally learning how to be a person instead of the martyr he was shaped into.

not only have they witnessed all these developments in each other firsthand, but they themselves inspired that change in each other!! they stuck with each other in the beginning when they all kinda sucked in one way or another and thought "these people are worth it". they stuck around until they molded each other into what they were meant to be from the beginning.

my favorite moments where this kinda happens are the ep 15/ep 86 parallels the ep 53/ep 81 parallels and the ep 47/ep 86 parallels.

you have the two different fnc fights where you can see the difference in how they treat and resolve conflicts between then and now. at first there where two issues, being that a) chip refused to understand/respect gillion's traditions and culture and b) gillion did not approach conflict resolution in a productive or healthy manner, not ever having learned how to talk it out. both of these problems are solved by episode 86 where instead of fighting a bloody battle while mad at each other and then being done with it, they actually talk it out first and then fight basically for fun and as a way for chip to show understanding for and honor gillion's traditions. both of these changes have been directly caused by them helping each other be better. chip who's all about talking and gillion who's all about honor learning to meet each other in the middle.

then the block betrayal scene vs the scene where chip threatens to quit piracy. where chip showed so much trust and understanding for jay, where jay was fully convinced that she did not deserve his trust and then later to have those roles be completely reversed! chip knowing that jay doesn't want to betray them, jay knowing that chip doesn't want to quit. they've always had this deep understanding of each other, they can tell exactly what the other is thinking, and though both of them are flawed people they love each other regardless. and they know that people deserve second chances, third chances, fourth chances, if only they try to be better, because they've fucked up in the past, they've both been on the wrong side of history. they look at each other and see a mirror image. however it took chip 80 episodes to be vulnerable while it took jay 80 episodes to talk candidly about how much she loves and admires chip.

and finally the talks between jay and gillion in edison kingdom and just before the second fnc fight. how gillion shows this massive amount of respect for jay's autonomy and trust in her choice. how he encourages her to choose for herself not for anyone else. and then later how jay tries to talk gillion out of literally letting someone kill him, consistently putting himself in harms way for everyone else. and it doesn't quite work but she shows so much respect for his autonomy as well the way she tells him that it's his choice what he does, and same as gillion told, her she tells him to act for himself, to stop being so selfless. and also since jay has such high respect for gillion's choices she has to be urged to even talk to him about this in the first place. not because she doesn't care about him letting himself get harmed but because their relationship is built on trusting that the other's choices are their own. it shows how much more open jay has become, how gillion stopped seeing himself separate from everyone else. how his initial advice to act selfishly is being thrown back at him and how he (with some trouble) finally accepts it.

they bicker and fight but they are oh so tender with each other when it counts and they love each other so much and their love shows in everything they do. in the ferociousness with which chip defends his crew, in the way jay stands by her newfound family over her old one, in the way gillion trains for months just to be able to protect them better (sentinel feat you will always be famous).

they literally belong together, do not separate.

[steffigraf]

warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

[cxncrie]

Anonymous asked: 💖💖💖💖 pcrplevenom asked: 💖💖💖

send a 💖and the mun will talk about a random mutual they love and appreciate!! || Accepting

Oh??? Bet ??? 

@fearedelight ;; Honestly was SUPER intimidated by them because they looked SUPER cool but oh my god I ???? adore them to pieces ??? They were just so sweet and friendly when I approached them and the fact they talked to me instantly about a plot idea I just ??? weeps. Also god let me tell you the silly lil threads, crack or not, are a blast. Definitely make my day a lot better bc they genuinely make me laugh. 

@pompedia ;; Love for Pom ?????? you fucking BET. God I was scared of her for a LONG while but I just { grabs and shakes her affectionately } Love her writing and just all the thought and love she puts into muses, she's a BLAST to talk to oocly and has helped me SO MUCH with learning photoshop and photoscape ?? Def glad I met her and I am NOT letting her go until she kicks my ass to the curb LMAO.

@monmuses ;; THIS WHORE RIGHT HERE { affectionate }, one of the few people that helped me get out of my funk along w/ some others and god I cannot be more grateful. She saw me at my worst and stuck with me regardless. Because of her I had help making proper choices when it came to making things better for myself like choices to cut off those who had hurt me. She's super supportive and a WONDERFUL friend. Not to mention her A+ writing { even if she is on semi-hiatus rn }

@demondads ;; SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM, a goofy lad, a fun guy, always livens up the dash whenever he's around with his silly lil fellas. I hold him up like simba, look at him, look at the fella. Never forget Lucifer Harem Applications JKFDGHDFGHJ. But genuinely, he IS a joy with both muses and talking oocly !! 

@xluciifer ;; Luci, a total sweetheart. For as much as I { affectionately } bully them, I think they're a total sweetheart and a joy. Her shenanigans never fail to make me laugh. I LOVE seeing her threads on the dash and just seeing how much love and care she puts into her muse between threads and headcanons I just ??? I don't regret following for a second.

@mghtfall & @pantheon-panic ;; another duo that if one gets something nice then so does the other. Zander and Alastair have been nothing but kind to me, and while I'm still nervous about talking to them I do very much care for them. I love their muses and their writing, it's always very nice to talk to them both on the rare chances I do but I do hope to speak to them more.

@waywardsculs ;; and finally for this one, Ritsu. Absolute dear really, love seeing them on the dash and while I'm still sort of scared to approach { because believe me, I do want to approach and MAYBE ship if I can think abt who to send at you }, I absolutely adore seeing them on my dash even if it's just silly lil things. Also I'm taking that flamethrower away from you ma'am.

[gaybroons]

Talk Hockey To Me

( @ghostgeno's tag game)

The thing that got you hooked on hockey

Started reading “hey now, you're an all star (get your game on, go play)” by @buckyismybicycle while it was ongoing because even though I was 1) completely uninterested in hockey and 2) also uninterested in Stucky as a ship, this specific author’s works have always been phenomenal and with each new chapter email I started getting more and more intrigued until I eventually gave in and started reading it (literally so worth it everyone should read it). In the end notes of each chapter, HR (the author) would add some fun facts and extra context for the hockey related stuff (considering it’s a whole hockey AU) that made me go “huh that sounds fun” more than once but I was still not super into the hockey thing.

Until. 

I reached the chapter with a beautifully written match and I was like???? Is hockey like this irl?????????? This sounds so good?????????? Cue YouTube hacking into my brain and suggesting me hockey compilations which included the infamous Lick. I saw this random man just being a menace to everyone and decided he is now the love of my life.  (i usually omit the stucky fic part bc ppl have opinions about marvel that i do not want to hear lol. so if i told you abt this before without the full context i'm sorry!!)

Your first ever fandom friend

@hard4softthings !!!! Love is stored in the ao3 comment section uwu 

The jersey you would most like to own

I can’t pick one so I’m just gonna list in descending order: Marchand home jersey (with a C !!!!!!!!😤) ,  Pasternak (also home. Sorry it’s just nicer than the away version) , Quinn Hughes (the pride one because I’m obsessed with the design it’s so pretty) 

YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

The rat king himself 🖤💛🖤💛🖤 can u tell I have a favorite 

A pairing that deserves more fic

Sid/Ovi ‼️ tuukks/pasta and Brady/Quinn too, there’s just so much potential for them. 

Your favourite on-ice moment

Picking is difficult so you’re just gonna get a bunch <3.

Bertuzzi stealing cousin’s stick and trying to break it

Marchy kidnapping The Child

pigeon

dancing with the stars

tuukks Exhibiting homicidal tendencies (rightfully so)

flower wanting to feel included

whole team under arrest

Brady Tkachuk: why is there a fucking animal loose on the ice he’s going to give me rabies

marchy waving to a booing crowd

marchy blowing kisses to a booing crowd

flower asserting his dominance tripping TWO first round picks

Quinn Hughes seeing a fight break out and says ✨no✨

Marner spinning like a ballerina

+ link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

ART: 

this ADORABLE mcdrai art by @saviorified

MattMcDrai art by @adelphenium , obsessed with the blushing and the HAIR plz it’s so cute.  

Awfully pretty sid and geno art by @ceanspam

Captaincy transfer by @adelphenium I’m so weak for rat marchy, and ALSO bergy’s eyes <33333 i’m so <33333

the kiss of life by @stillfertile

FICS: 

The “All Caps” series by @makeit-takeit rewired my brain I’ve reread it countless times i think i can recite it by heart. 

“hard to be soft, tough to be tender” The Hanahaki fic by @hardforsoftthings I love love love the emotional progression AND denial in both of these fics (also, horny. Thank u) 

speaking of which, in less emotionally charged and more horny fics, the “spit cup” and “scratch that itch” non-traditional omegaverse doulogy by @ whitchbhitch (i do not know their tumblr)

+ link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

I’m honestly really proud of my flowertalbo fic, “Inevitably you will burn (as all living things do)” it’s really short (646 words) but I think I did a good job on it :>

Also, I find myself coming back to this one McDrai crack fic, “Oh Puck No!” idk what possessed me to write it but I had fun with it and i still find it silly and enjoyable lol

no pressure tags: @lindholmline @darkangel0410 @gilliebee @owchar1ie and anyone else who wanna do this!!!

[kamiversee]

KAMI I'M LOSIGN MY MIND HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP

oh my god. this is already better than i imagined. i'm quakin in my boots rn. i had to take SO MANY BREAKS while reading this to just calm myself down omfg KAMIIIIII

ALSO THE PHONE CALL???? I WAS SHITTING MYSELFFFFFF PLS THIS WAS SUCH A PERFECT SET UP! but wait, did Choso just assume that since Satoru called us out of the blue, that we slept with him before? or is this hinting towards Choso possibly knowing about the list and who's on it? omfg my brain is everywhere lmao i'm prob overthinking it

also the interactions they've been having since Gojo got in the house had me melting omfg. the constant back-and-forth? the piggybacking off of each other's comments? THE TAG TEAMING. THEY BETTER TAG TEAM US FOR THE NEXT TWO PARTS AAAAAA KAMI PLEEEEEEAAAAAAASE

my nosey ass wants to know wtf they were talking about when Choso locked the door on us 😭😭😭 like i know that it was most probably Choso giving Gojo his address and really confirming that he wants this BUT STILL. lowkey i feel like the sexual tension between Choso and Gojo is THICK here. i need more of it 😭

“Is it any more wrong than the things I’ve had you do before?” He whispers lowly to you, low enough for Choso to miss what he uttered.

I'M LOSING ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idc if this is noncanon, i'm using this What If as my closure for TFL IDC IDC OMG

🐶nonnie was right we need that poly ending expeditiously 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i've gone full delulu omfg Kami you fucking broke me

the way Choso's so sassy and chatty omfg HELPPPPPPPPP THE WAY I FEEL LIKE HE'D BE SUCH A BRAT AND "TEACH" GOJO HOW TO MAKE US SQUIRT JUST TO MESS WITH US AAAAAA I NEED THESE MEN SO FUCKING BAD

i have no idea how you have so much self control spacing out the parts like this. my instant gratification ass would have posted EVERYTHIIIIIING. what's the total word count of all 3 parts?

-☃️

Ugh ur messages always make me giggle & smile

In chapter 52 of TFL (or whichever is titled; The Resolve) the reader asks Choso abt Gojo & planned on getting info out of Cho abt the list (kinda like how she questioned Nanami previously) but she doesn’t get to ask him about that bc Choso quickly puts two and two together and asks her if Gojo is the guy who he’s been competing with all this time.

Their convo goes unanswered tho bc Choso says what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him but deep down, he knew— hence why in this whatif he asked if Gojo used to fuck her ^.^

ALSO, I’m thinkin of doing a lil side blurb for their phone call just cause. Plus, I don’t see Choso & Gojo interacting in the manga/anime or even in people’s fanfics tht often so this is very fun for me to do honestly (:

Annnywho, gladd you’re enjoying it so far! The word count for all three parts is… long. (I haven’t written the second or third part yet but my minimum is usually 3k so expect all three parts to be at least 9k words in total or so… maybe longer tho bc I have a writing problem😭)

[bingobongobonko]

Hi Bingo! I just wanted to say that I've been lurking and looking at your art for your lancer campaign for a while now and I think it's so cool! You've kinda inspired me to check out the system for myself too! I hope it's not too much trouble/making you retread anything you've talked about before, but I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on the system and how it's worked out for your campaign! I really love mecha stuff, but I think the genre can be pretty rife with militarism that I'm not super into. I get the sense though that you've been able to find a good way to slot these really cool characters into the setting and focus on their interactions while also getting the fun of that sweet sweet mech combat. My inquiry is very low stakes haha, so nw if you don't have time to gather all your thoughts (I know that if I was tasked to talk about my own campaigns my head would burst into flames just trying to sift through what I'd want to say :P) Anyway, just a little friendly wave to you to say your art is very inspirational, and keep up the great work!

OH WOW this is . whuhh. WOW! sorry im like. wtff. i mean i ramble about my characters a lot but i didn't think anyone else actually gave a fuck which is completely ok, i just WHUHH..!!! holy shit. excitement aside, i get where you're coming from. honestly i was never into the mecha genre, but lancer rpg really made me realize how cool it is! like im not a really technical guy, and i feel like lancer is VERY strategy-heavy in combat; unless you know what you're doing and what everything does, you can easily get overwhelmed with all the features and all the things to consider in the math. for me its a lot because i struggle with spatial understanding and any sort of mathematics. that's my only real gripe on the system, but that might also just be every other system as well. it's more of a personal issue than that of the system, my friends all picked it up super quick. as for the genre, yeah, i find militaristic shit a drag and mecha has the same feel to me. its got a layer of professionalism and seriousness i don't enjoy, nor wish to play along with, so i get what you mean yeah. thankfully my friend who dms the campaign is just. Holy fuck; she just has a huuuge extra care for character stories and weaving them into the narrative she explores. so really, its her i've to thank for making mecha stuff FUN for me. lancer can certainly run hand-in-hand with militaristic-focused rp, i was in a oneshot with that sole focus and while it was interesting, without that interesting narrative stuff you kind of lose steam, but ive grown so fond of dog days cuz of how my friend lets our characters develop AND helps them do that. that and the way she sets up the story, just. FUUUUCK. the military is an afterthought in what is a fight against time and para-causality sinking its teeth into what little sanity we have. we fight against something that is a victim and a perpetrator. we're the worst people to be tasked to be saving an entire planet too, but here we are. as cheesy as it is, it's all about who you play with. thats the feel i get about most systems. honestly why im so ehhh about playing with strangers, when i'd rather play with people i like. all systems strike me as more of a tool; its the way you use em yk? the experience you get from them are more reflective of who you're telling a story with (or fighting alongside, there's no right way to play. i just really like narrative storytelling). so really, ive to thank my friends, especially @spaginithethird who introduced me to lancer in the first place as a dm!!!!!!!!!! TO A LOT OF SYSTEMS ACTUALLY shes rlly knowledgeable abt this stuff and very very very sweet too o7 so yeah really, its a really fun system BUT to me, i wouldnt be playing lancer if i didn't have a narrative to go by and follow with people i like. i am always sayin this but its my favorite thing when it comes to ttrpgs

[myon-94]

Hmm, back at you! I knew you liked Ray with Dimitri and I now know you don't like Niko with Packie (awesome, hehe), but are they actually the best and least?

Omg an ask what am I to do? Answer it of course this my one chance to talk abt gta ships without wanting to kms

Well if we're talking about non rarepairs and ships that actually have SOME ground in game then I must say Brucie and Roman might just be the best, their dynamic just works so well! In the sweet bellic (I think that's what it's called but it's the one where niko goes to kill that French Tom guy) the preferences written by Roman in niko's bio just seem to reflect Brucie a little too much and also Brucie did mention that "if he were queer" Roman would be in danger eheheh.

As for the least favorite, and I'm sorry everyone and especially to my 2019 baby gta stan self..it's gotta be dimitri and mikhail.

I know I know doomed old man yaoi is too good to pass but. I liked it a little when I first started getting into gta but as time passed I just found myself disliking it more and more.. Aside from the fact that mikhail is a married man with a grown daughter and cheating is a big no in my book, I just find their dynamic more and more toxic. Though that's normally not a big problem for me (I love misery) I think this time not only were they aggressive towards each other but I can't see a hint of romance in their interactions.

I see mikhail and dimitri as two people who were once friends- brothers even, who went through highs and lows together, who witnessed the death of their nation and tried to live in what was once their glorious union while still looking out for one another, and who immigrated to a far, foreign hostile country (most likely) without a penny to their name, and who were slowly and inevitably drifting apart..because nothing lasts forever.

It could've been the money and power, it could've been the painkillers and the coke, it could've been the fact that they were thousands of miles away from home and are still, even after a decade, in a foreign land they can't quite get used to.

Neither of them wanted to let go of the other. They could only trust each other. They were the only hint left of their old lives that neither wanted to forget. But everything was just..too much I guess? This couldn't keep on, and I believe it was dimitri who let go first.

I believe that by the time niko meets mikhail and dimitri the latter has already made up his mind about mikhail. What started as just boredom and annoyance of mikhail and his antics slowly manifesting into hate as his behavior started putting everyone in danger. I even think dimtri lied about the whole petrovic situation just to get an excuse to get rid of mikhail. And mikhail, well he didn't appreciate his friends distance in the slightest. But instead of thinking "maybe this is my fault" he just started to blame everyone and everything but himself, refusing to belive that he and only he was the reason his friend no longer liked him as much..and to cope he just undermines and makes fun of and blames dimitri any chance he can get; calling him paranoid, he blames him for the Lenny situation (though as I said I believe the whole fiasco was a lie) and in a deleted phone call he even accuses dimitri of sleeping with ilyena- the wife he cheats on every day. And to whom he complains? To the Serbian mercenary that knows nothing about any of them of course!

I especially find the moment where he says to niko "Dimitri would've been some prison meat if not for me" incredibly low because..you don't just say such a thing. It's cruel and it's disgusting and serves no purpose other than make dimitri look small in the eyes of others. I find his end quite fitting, rare niko W.

I do think they fucked once or twice tho :3 but they most certainly aren't in love.

BUT if we ARE talking about rarepairs then ohh boy...nothing beats dimitri and boccino. They're like. the ship ever. Still my proudest moment when I thought of these two together one Monday night 😮‍💨✨️ I rambled WAY too much abt mikhail and dimitri I know no one will read this if I talk abt ray and dimitri.

And least favorite rarepair..well there aren't many cuz yk they're rare. But I think Niko and Derrick for no other reason than because they always kill off my babygirls francis and boccino and talk shit about them for the rest of the fic. #Fuck Derrick I hate this lying drug addict rat.

[supernovaa-remnant]

I heard about this Shubble person recently, I stayed out of drama as much as I could but, what happened now??? You even wrote this in one of your tags "#I really did love him a lot (parasocially)". I was busy this week so I don't know what is happening now.

I highly recommend people watch Shubble’s vod on her twitch channel (I don’t have a link but I can’t imagine it’s that difficult to find). Be mindful though as the vod does talk about abuse which is a very triggering topic, so make sure to be taking care of yourself. I’m gonna put the rest of the post under the cut, so people can easily scroll past this if they want to.

As a little summary, Shubble streamed yesterday and talked about her abusive ex. She didn’t name anyone, but she also wasn’t hiding who it was, and contrary to what some people may say, a lot of the dots being connected are stuff we know from past streams and comments from friends and not leaked info.

So, the incredibly most likely case is that it was Wilbur. I’m not gonna get into everything Shelby said because she said it on her stream, but the signs do point to Wilbur, and you’d have to reach significantly further to claim she was talking about someone else. There’s not a lot of British male ccs who have a bigger audience than her who have a history of biting people and have reason to be going on long travels (tour) where they wouldn’t see each other often.

Listen. I was a certified dreambur blog, okay? Everyone who glanced in my direction knew that I was a Wilbur fan. Everyone knows that I loved him so fucking much. But that’s not an excuse to bury my head in the sand and ignore everything, y’know?

Anyway, this is gonna be the last time I talk abt this publicly (I’m sure my friends will hear more in DMs though sorry <3), so I’m gonna throw a bit more stuff here abt my blog going forward.

I will eventually talk abt c!wilbur again. I’m still gonna write my silly little c!dreambur aus, I’ve just put them on the back burner. regardless of cc actions, I genuinely do love so many of the characters on the dsmp. I’ll probably be focused on some other fics for a while, but c!wilbur’s my cat and I don’t think he’s leaving my brain soon. I just need a little time.

I think cc!wilbur is someone who needs help. and I genuinely do hope he gets that help. but having mental health struggles isn’t an excuse. and I just can’t see myself engaging in his content in the foreseeable future. you’re not gonna see me post neg about him. you’re just likely not gonna see me post anything about him at all.

I’m happy to know Shubble has an amazing support system. I’m so sorry she had to go through something so horrible. I’m wishing her nothing but the best, and everyone should check out her YouTube channel!! I haven’t watched her newest video yet, but I did watch Lizzie’s pov of the collab, so I know it’s a fun concept

If people have questions that this post doesn’t answer, then I’m happy to answer them in DMs, but I don’t wanna talk abt this publicly anymore. (I reserve a right to change my mind though if I for some reason feel the need to post abt it again)

Anyway, take care of yourselves. Love is never ever wasted, okay? And all that love belongs to you. And it’s always a good thing to put more love out into the world. Never feel guilty for loving, okay? 🫂

[heleizition]

characters with white hair and characters fighting with needles are SUPERB DESIGNS much agree there. im holding it all so very gently in my hands while spitting on danzo fuck that guy. also??? eden just chefs kiss. traumatic kinda immortality is my VIBE. hows the ability work? can he ever die? hows he get along with belly??? good luck at whatever ya gotta GO to!! byyyee

THANK YOU needle fighting is jst so cool im not rly sure where i picked it up ? bunch of things ... katara in atla in that one episode where she seeks revenge... yeah it stuck to me ...

and this group of oc is a bit of like. "cringe renaissance" like im allowing myself to have fun without thinking abt waht others would say... yes this oc has heterochromia (vik) yes this oc has white hair and incredible powers (eden) (also cody) yes these ocs are twins that barely look anything alike but im doing MY THING im so happy. im free

SO GLAD U LIKE EDEN tw for drug use, overdose and suicide + rest of the answer

i care him sooo much. whats dramatic abt him is that in his past life (in the angel/demon au) he had. a very shitty life and ended up taking lots of drugs as a mean to get on with life until he finally just. decided to stop trying to get on with like. also hes trans :) . so um killed himself by overdosing on drugs. its always a similar past/history with him so i think it's a bit tragic that while he suffered so much he can't just. end it like he did before because his power wont let him. as a human he would die of old age, but his power , while letting him suffer through any injury or subtence, won't let him die. i mean in the end he does find that living is pretty nice when you're surrunded by people you love and who love you so !!!!

im not quite sure how the ability works yet... i think it's a molecular manipulation of the flesh and any thing that compose it, so it would heal injuries, help fight infections, but it wouldn't be able to revive someone if life has already left them/if it was too far along. eden's power being inside of him, it unconsciously protects him from everything and anything as it happens, fixing the damage almost instantly.

it takes a lot out of him to use it on other people (to fix or destroy) and after the beheading incident he fears it so much he's unable to use it until he's about to lose someone precious to him....

belly and him get along well !!! they're in the angel squad together in the angel/demon au and they're supposed to be the two "level headed" ones (they're not they're barely adults with age being between 20 to 25) and work nicely as a team. im not very good to talk abt relationship between characters im sorry !

for reference btw,

demon squad : abel, cain (no art of him yet im sowwyyyyyy), nell, titania, jasper

angel squad : cody, eden, lena, belly, vik, noah

i have pinterest boards of all of them also btw...

i have a lot of old ocs that are in this au as well as secondary characters im very <33 abt this au.

AND THANK U SO MUCH i was meeting up with friends i havent seen or talked to in FOUR YEARS life connected us together again accidentally and i had a lot of fun it was a sweet evening ! i am going to eep now zzzzzzzzzzzzzz snork mimimi