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#and literally carved out the eyes of his dead wife tattoo
henbased · 2 years
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25 32 38 46 for jude/joseph!! <333
answering this 5 days late because you asked ones that make me grrr <3 i hate hard questions but they're ANSWERED. the quality may be questionable.
25. Are they sentimental about gifts they’ve received from each other?
no ok so so what if jude keeps a book of joseph. its good for scrapbooking and journaling and keeping lil notes and stuff. and yes ok she keeps a rosary joseph gave her but that's only because - well - there's nuance ok. it was a gift and if she didn't cherish it her momma would rise from the grave to whoop her ass okay. she doesn't give joseph gifts that arent like "hey i went fishing i caught a fish for you". he says thank you in a very neutral non-confrontational tone and that's the end of it.
32. How do they comfort each other?
neither of them are so good with words. joseph likes to think he's good with words but his words are only good at Pissing Jude Off. whatevers upset her forgotten as she bites the soothing hand because Shut The Fuck Up Shut The Fuck Up Shut The Fuck Up-
they sit by each other, just letting the other know that they're there. jude disassociates a lot and having someone try to talk to her when she's like that makes everything sound like static, and it only ends up making her more worked up. it's overwhelming. joseph just sitting besides her for however long, a comforting weight where their bodies touch, reading or taking notes or just observing her and thinking. there's no rushing, and she's able to come out of it on her own time, in a quiet place with zero expectations.
it's much the same with joseph. creating a soothing environment and just being there for however long he needs as he works through whatever it is he's working through - trauma response, migraine, message from god or whatever he's got goin' on. it's these moments that matter to them the most.
38. Have they ever hurt each other deliberately?
besite...
yeah. i mean that was the entirety of their bunker staycation. locked up with your worstie, of course youre going to do everything in your power to make them miserable. plates being thrown at each others head was just, ah, it's just another day in the apocalypse <333. but the one record playing being smashed so neither of them could find solace in music?? malicious intent.
the bunker staycation did peak with them literally trying to kill each other and then confronting the fact that they're a little too far gone with this relationship (id be alone if they died, but not only that, id be without them and well, i dont know if i can that anymore, i am Fond of them). once they got over their little "god i wanna murder you so bad" urges, things settled, but the toxic violence is still there. they do still intentionally hurt each other but they've come to an understanding of "dont let your feelings get hurt". sometimes feelings are still hurt tho. they fuck talk it out.
46. How do they make each other laugh?
can you believe it took them awhile to learn to laugh in each other's company. i wonder why. they're petty bitches and love to shittalk everyone. "oh but its against the lord to talk shit blah blah blah". youre gonna look me in the eye and tell me joseph does not call up jacob after dealing with john to bitch about that man. in joseph-dialogue way of course. but yeah they like to gossip theyre like that petty old couple at church whose always whispering to each other and sharing glances and everyone in the room can tell theyre gonna have some shit to say once theyre alone. #lovewins
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ultraklll · 4 years
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Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)
Paired With Fangs For Hire:
Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"
Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought," 
Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them," 
Paired With Other Guns For Hire:
Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony," 
Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity 
Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top 
Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]
Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies
Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute," 
In Combat: 
Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead," 
Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!" 
Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun
Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?" 
Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!" 
Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush," 
Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"
Driving: 
Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"
Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive 
Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes," 
Idle: 
"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it," 
"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!" 
"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"
"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"
[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep,  bad for your health," 
Location Specific: 
Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies," 
Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county 
Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]
Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"
Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"
Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place," 
The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it," 
Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep.  In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?" 
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ilovehighhats · 6 years
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Missteps, ch. 02
Next instalment is here! Again, many thanks to @ihaveauseforyou
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AO3 version here.
And you can find the first chapter here.
oOo
PART TWO:
COMMON PITFALL OF CONCEIT
oOo
For all the complaining I did, for all my snide remarks on the dangers of trekking through the desert under cover of the night, it is I who got his ass in a hole.
Right in the middle of a bright bloody day.
In my defence - the crevice was well concealed. One moment I stepped through loose rocks trying to find a path wide enough for the Reaver, and the next I was falling down an almost vertical wall of sandstone.
So, I’m in a ditch. Literally fucking trapped like a stupid animal.
For all the thoughts I wasted on the woman I never once suspected that I'd be the idiot who steps straight into a chasm. Like a sleepwalking baby.
I don't know, what was I thinking?!
My left arm is incapacitated - at best dislocated, at worst... No, I’m not even thinking about it. It’s only disjointed. Nothing I can’t fix. Pity that the bike is hanging right over my head. When I fell I didn’t want to let it go, so that got my shoulder sprained and the machine locked just above me. One water tank broke too.
The most idiotic thing is, I can’t even wiggle sideways. I’m like those deer, which got into a hole in the mountains - nowhere to move, only sing lower and lower into the chasm, until all that is left is a beautifully arranged cage of bleached bones.
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Just my fucking luck. I could have died a thousand times over. I could have made it count. For someone. For something more significant than my sick, absent, filthy mind.
But no, I just had to make myself die the stupidest fucking way possible.
A misstep.
oOo
How long am I here?
I keep drifting in and out of consciousness. Funny thing, that. For once I can’t seem to find Sprog. Did I leave the kid with Jesse in the shop? Or are we at Aunt May’s?
No, I'm dizzy. I was just at the Citadel. Both Sprog and my wife are dead. All of my family is gone. Everything is destroyed.
I’m so alone…
Is it night already?
“Hey!”
I look up. There's the sky, midnight blue with a twinkling scar of Milky Way. The moon got so thin it barely gives any light, but I can see a dark blob hanging just ahead. Right, the bike.
“Hey, you fucker, are you dead?”
I don’t know that voice. Better stay quiet.
It’s so cold though. I can feel my teeth chatter, a distinct staccato of enamel hitting enamel fast like maracas in a tropical bar.
The voice gets muffled, and it sounds like I’ll be left in peace. Good. I just want to sleep. Maybe then I’ll get warm again. Maybe after I wake my head won’t be hurting as if it split in two…
That’ll be the day. A bright light hits my eyes, and I  groan, too hurt to care; I just betrayed my position and condition to whoever is torturing me.
“Oh good, so you are alive after all. Wait there.”
There’s amusement in the voice. Stupid cunt.
Then I realise. It’s the woman I rescued. She trailed behind me, then I thought she changed course, but she must have just beelined to my trail. And she found me without falling into a ditch like a moron herself. Even though she was the one riding the bike by night.
How fucking unfair is that?
But of course, nothing at all is fair in the wasteland. Not one goddamn thing.
oOo
I must have drifted away, because when I come to again - right fucking now - the only thing I feel is piercing, searing pain.
“Don’t yell, you moron!” She hisses above me. Closer, than she should be. “Help me get that rope around you.”
There is a thick coil of strings under my right armpit. I look up to see the sky and a slender silhouette of the woman.
Where’s the Reaver?
“What?”
Did I say that out loud?
“Barely. You sound like a mumbling, raving lunatic.”
That’s because I am.
She chuckles, but it dies down soon in a grunt of exertion. I can’t feel anything.
When was the last time I heard a woman chuckle because of me?
“Don’t be a drongo mate, help me here.”
I try, but the darkness spills under my eyelids before I can do anything more than let out a  grunt.
oOo
Another stab of pain, and then a relief so intense I can feel my mouth water, the salivary glands working so fast it’s unpleasant. Before I have a chance to finish a groan at the sharp ache, I can feel tepid liquid at my lips.
Water!
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I gulp it down and try to gather my bearings. I’m sitting up, propped on something semi-comfortable. The crevice I fell into is close, on my right. There’s a bike standing neatly beside the Reaver. My ride has landed in a heap but is seemingly intact.
Where’s the woman?
I have my answer when a slender hand grabs the canteen from my palm. She’s the thing I’m resting on.
What in the actual fuck?!
Reflexively, I try to hit her with my elbow, but she deflects easily and bounces my limbs off as if I was a weak kitten. Flailing, I scramble away in a panic, patting my legs for a weapon. None. My left arm is less than useless. Good to know.
“I wouldn't get you out just to drown you, so don’t get your panties in a knot, handsome.”
She has them. My knives, my guns, everything.
She notices my eyes darting to the weapons, and her head sways slightly in a disappointed way.
“Nor would I like to be rewarded with a blade through my gut.”
The canteen drops at my feet.
“Drink. You need to rehydrate. I reset your shoulder, but you should spare it for a while.”
I nod and frown at her even as I take another blessed swig of the water. A sparse movement of my head towards the hole is all the thanks she’ll get, and I don’t care if she gets the meaning behind it.
She does.
“We’re even.”
I grunt in agreement. It seems that we are.
“It also seems we’re heading the same way.”
I try to shake the confusion away. My brain is fogged with exhaustion, and for once I can't mobilise enough to feel threatened. I need time to think.
“Dawn is near. I’ll set camp. Rest.”
There's no way I’ll sleep with someone this close.
No way in hell.
oOo
Under the scorching sun, I wake up.
It seems like I’m dreaming still. It’s so unfamiliar; two bikes are standing on each side of me, a canopy of softly rustling fabric over my head, stretched on the handles of the bikes. A canteen of water by my hand.
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The only familiar detail is the barrel of a gun aimed at my face. This I know, intimately. The hand holding it is darkened with an extensive tattoo, for a while I thought it was a glove, and it doesn't tremble.
I smile and grunt, and get up, slowly and carefully, mindful of the hole beyond the safety of the makeshift camp. My back hurts, and the awareness of a stranger with a weapon trained on my head is tensing the muscles further. But I need a leak.
She follows my movement with her outstretched arm but otherwise does nothing.
I piss straight into the ravine. Take that, death. Not today.
“I didn't get your supplies from down there.”
Shit.
“Please, don’t.”
How in the hell can she be amused?
How in the hell can I smirk at her lame joke?
I turn back and crawl under the canopy. It’s the first time I see her up close in actual sunlight.
There’s not much to look at - a haphazard collection of rags, just like my shabby clothing, long and dusty hair in two thick, braided ropes trailing from under a dark hood. Her face is barely visible behind dark goggles, and a scarf draped all around her head. Evidently, she knows her way around the desert, even though her complexion is proof of how seldom she must have ever been here for extended periods of time.
I remember seeing her naked that first night. Her skin was abnormally white then, but now whatever was exposed to sun turned into an ugly shade of red. Nothing in her clothes hints at what is hidden underneath, and I imagine it's intentional.
Despite what she came through she boldly returns my appraising stare.
My eyes drop to her hands. Only one palm is adorned with a tattoo, but it's an actual work of art. Nothing like the abomination carved into my back. Hers is flat and subtle, rusty brown lines flowing delicately around themselves to form the shape of a drop. Like an intricately woven drop of blood.
Her taxing gaze is getting on my nerves. If my hand wasn’t lame, I could easily overpower her. Especially in this close quarters.
I close my eyes and calculate my odds.
My legs are still working. She’s not too strong. Fast, perhaps, at this moment surely much more agile than me. But I have the advantage in weight. And obviously - experience. How old is she? A decade younger?
An unfamiliar sound has me snapping my eyes open in an instant. I cautiously trail her hand as she reaches behind her back.
Food.
She rests the armed hand on one knee, and casually stretches the other foot towards me.
“I have a proposition for you.”
Of course. Nothing is free in this land, nothing is without a price. I listen, with a knowing smile, acknowledging her with a grunt.
“I need a bodyguard to get back home. You could use some help as well. Let’s move together for a week or two.”
I snort a short laugh. What an idiot!
“No.”
She smirks and chews on my fucking grilled grub.
“Suit yourself, fool.”
That nickname.
Curiosity gets the best of me. I always was reckless, the passing years didn't change this trait.
“Where to?” I speak automatically.
“That’s a funny question,” she says like it was the least amusing sentence in the world, drawing the words out. “Do you know Rainbow Valley?”
I do. It’s more than a fortnight away. Especially on foot.
“Not enough fuel.”
“We could scavenge.”
Already - we. Who's the fool now? There are no guarantees out here, nothing to rely on but the things at hand. And right now we have one tank of gas between the two of us. At best.
I shake my head.
“I make my own way.” It’s all I have to say on the matter.
“Fine,” she says.
Oh, this one I remember. I roll my eyes because it's the only way of expressing the exasperation every man feels at this word.
It's never fine. It never was fine. Nothing in this wasteland can ever be fine again.
“I'll leave you when the sun comes down, then. You'll find your weapons half a day that way.” She points her hand casually to the east.
oOo
Overpowering her was too easy.
As soon as she nodded off, I slid closer. She didn't move, didn't notice. Where was she living, that on the one hand she could hold her own out in the desert, but in the other - didn't have the necessary survival instincts? How could she not wake, when I was taking the gun from her loosened fingers?
But she did open her eyes alright when she felt the barrel by her temple.
Although, I could only glimpse a shadow of a movement behind the tinted glass of the goggles.
One movement of my head was enough to signal her to take them off. I frowned and settled firmly over her hips, sneaking right knee to the inside of her left elbow, pressing her steadily to the ground.
She slid the cover down, and when her eyes bore into mine, I lost my drift.
Green.
How?
The deep and lush green of moss growing in perpetual shade and moisture. The most unusual colour on the planet. I never knew how much I missed it, until now.
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She’s crafty. That moment of hesitation was enough to butt me in the head and press that hand with the goggles straight into the junction of my bad shoulder. Fuck, does it hurt! I’m bloody pissed and act on instinct, tightening my legs around her rising body. It puts us both off balance, and we thud on the rocky ground, dangerously close to the ravine.
She whines but never stops her blows right to my injury. Something is missing in her attack. There's no edge to it.
I manage to press her back down flat on the ground and restrain her movements with my right forearm on her throat. Where's that fucking gun?
During our scuffle, her scarf slid down and finally, I can look at her. Her pupils are blown wide even despite the sun, the treacherous emerald of her iris mostly hidden. There's a tint of pink on her cheeks - so unbelievably pale! - and her mouth is wide open, gulping last panicking breaths.
"You really do need protection." I'm surprised at my own words, and it probably shows. With luck, she'd take that as a reaction to our little exercise. "That was pathetic."
Her eyebrows knit together and I can see she saw through my bluff. At least in part. She licks her lips, and my eyes involuntarily travel down with the movement. I catch a glimpse of teeth, as she bits down on her bottom lip, considering.
“How are you going to get your stuff from down there?”
Fuck. She could at least try not to be this smug. I do know that with a useless arm I’m nowhere near able to climb down for the supplies and then back up with the additional weight.
Shit.
I need her as much as she needs me.
She grins, once she can see capitulation written clearly all over my face.
“Let’s grab a shuteye and sort it out in an hour or two.”
Right. The sun is still scorching – no way we can reasonably do anything in this heat. Too wasteful, especially since nothing is rushing either me or her.
"You can tag along for a while," I say before she has a chance to speak.
Neither of us really sleeps, but we rest under swooshing wind. Tarp over my head dances on the breeze. Everything else is perfectly still, bracing under the sun for the respite of the evening.
For the first time in a long while, I have a set destination to drive to.  
oOo
I thought I'm resilient and patient. Apparently, I'm not.
She takes all firearms with her when she climbs down the ravine for my things, and I can feel apprehension in tensing muscles on my back. As I feed the line down the hole, helping her descend gradually and safely, I have this overwhelming urge just to let her fall. I could just take her supplies and maybe go down to get three or four essential things.
These are just thoughts. I'm never going to actually do that.
At least that's what I let myself believe.
She makes a fast job of getting everything back to the surface, without complaints and comments. Before sunset, we have everything strapped down securely to the bikes. Ready to go.
Without any external threat its difficult to let her move with me.
I let her guide my way. It's to the best of my advantage - she’s lighter than me, so smaller risk of falling down a hole. And there's something uncanny in the way she moves in the dark, just like a bat, sure of everything in her path. The deciding factor though, is that I can't have her behind my back. She’s just fine letting me watch her, pretending she doesn't feel my gaze at the back of her neck.
Maybe she really doesn't. I could be projecting.
I catch myself thinking that I haven't seen Sprog in a while.
oOo
There is a rhythm in any journey.
Once the goal is set, you can measure leaps you do every day, weigh them against each other.
Every morning, way before sunrise, we break camp. She deals with fire, while I carefully distribute water and food. I don't sleep well with her by the other side of the bonfire, so every effort she makes to lure me into a conversation is snuffed out with my irritated grunting.
As a matter of fact, I don't talk neither with her nor with my ghosts.
Byt the end of the first week, we've entered a sandy patch of desert again. The dunes wind up and down, and we're using the fuel we've been conserving, to get through them. Midday sees us sitting under the tarp, resting. Then, it's trekking through the wasteland again, up until we find a suitable place for the camp, or are too tired to go on.
She is a good walker. Both bikes have small tanks, and a little bit against myself I'm impressed with her stamina and tenacity. Her bike is light, and she takes every shred of advantage she can, using that to conserve as many resources as she can. She rides only if the terrain is too difficult to get through on foot, even if it means scaling the desert by the moonlight.
oOo
There's a truck, right bang in the middle of an erg.
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"It's a trap," I notice mildly.
The woman scoffs and dusts her goggles off with an errant end of her scarf.
"Maybe it is," she says, "but if it's not there could be supplies."
There also could be traps, I think. Greed kills just as quickly and as often as stupidity. The two are inseparably linked.
"Check it out then. I'll look after your bike."
She sends me a pointed look and shakes her head.
We slide down one dune, then drive up another, and find a similar picture. This time it's a bus.
"Now that's definitely a trap." I shake my finger at the raddled vehicle and look around saying that, looking for any signs of hostiles. But the sand is untouched, moving only with the wind. Not a soul in sight.
"Maybe it is," she repeats. "Your offer still stands?"
I frown and feel the wrinkles on my forehead crack a thin layer of caked on the sand.
Why not let her kill herself? Less trouble for myself.
I grunt an acknowledgement.
"Anything we find, I take seventy per cent."
"Okay."
That's not important. I'll take only as much, as I need anyway. Which will probably be all her supplies, as she heads straight down to the bus.
Lucky for me, she took only one gun.
Then, there's a flash. Yelling Sprog, creamy fabric flowing on air, dust, dust, so much dust. A crash and the sickening echo of bones crushed under thick tires.
Angharad is smiling just before she slips.
And then there's Sprog again, asking so sweetly, so innocently...
'Max, is that you? Where were you?'
It's gone.
I blink rapidly and lower the hand I raised to shield my eyes from the vision. It never worked before, so now is no different. I shake my head to clear it a fraction. That never works either.
The woman is still descending the dune. Carefully, but steadily. She doesn't know what lies there, doesn't know if there are monsters beneath the sand. And still, she goes.
“Hey!” I yell after her. “I'll come with.”
She turns back. Her face is hidden behind cloth and glass, but I imagine she's frowning in confusion.
All this time and she never asked my name. I never offered it, and in return never inquired after hers.
She's still measuring my sudden change of heart.
This is the moment where one can just say a name and convey everything that's important in that one word. What am I supposed to say now?
Then she starts back, resolutely saying nothing as she reaches her bike.
I grunt and nod, she nods back. That's all it takes.
Were scaling the erg side by side.
oOo
She cleans her bike when I get back from a recon walk around the camp. The opportunity is rare, so I postpone entering into the scattered light of the bonfire to have another look at her.
Something is not right. She is both wise and foolish. The knowledge of how to remove sand from the machine may not be obscure, but she religiously tends to every single part of it each and every night. Knowing it's vital is one thing, but caring for her it like she does reveal a lot about her experience.
But then, she goes into what very well could be a trap, with her head high, one guna a hooray to keep her spirits up.
Something moves just beyond my peripheral and I act on instinct, sending my knife straight into the intruders' flesh. A goanna. I pick it up by the tail and return to the camp.
The noise reached the woman of course, and she slid into the shadows beyond the fires reach. Smart again. She moves back in, still aiming the gun she grabbed right at me - the source of the noise. I dangle the lizard before me, like a mock peace offering, or a white flag.
There's our dinner.
I clean the carcass and throw it onto coals. It will take a while to cook, so I use the time to tend to the Reaver.
Tumblr media
The woman goes back to the maintenance of her own bike, wordlessly. When she's done, she fusses by her sacks, working with her back turned.
I listen to the mysterious rustles and scraping, then tearing, all accompanied by soft humming. She exhales sharply before turning towards me and scaling the few steps across the camp.
"Here," she says handing me something wrapped in a piece of dark cloth. "For sticking out your neck for me."
The jab is playful, and I smile a little. It was fortunate that the bus wasn't really a bait.
"Let's check out the truck in the morning, okay?"
I grunt in agreement, peeking curiously at the object she gave me. It's a white, waxy block of... Paraffin? I smell it.
It's fragrant. Sweet, flowery, decadent. Soap.
For many, it's worth more than my life.
My head snaps up in surprise, and I manage to catch a polite yet indifferent smirk from her before she tends again to her kit. Her white hands are a stark contrast to the worn, dark leather of the sacks.
"What's it for?" I ask. "The tattoo."
The reply is automatic, I'm sure because it comes in an instant. "It signifies my rank in the clan."
She seems to regret saying it the moment the words leave her tongue.
"Is it high?" I push.
"Nah, not really."
I can tell she's lying. Not because of her words, or their delivery. But no one regular treats a luxury like soap as a souvenir of an eventful trip. The bar is apparently cut in half, so she probably left herself the remaining piece. Not enough to bargain for anything significant. But just the right amount to use.
Sadly, that won't be possible. The water is just too valuable to use on frivolous things like cleaning up.
1 note · View note
rcmingtons · 7 years
Text
TUESDAY MORNING
Every morning, it was ritual -- there was a small coffee shop that made better iced coffee than Starbucks on the corner of the street Daniela lived on. It was obviously run by a family, so she never thought that something that she always feared in the back of her mind would start there. 
She woke up on Wednesday morning, still heavy chested over some of the events from the party. A shower didn’t wash the feeling away, so she opted on getting her favorite drink. A chai tea latte with extra cream and sugar. Her curls were natural and laid on her back as she strode into the cafe. Chatting with the cashier a bit, the son of the owner, she still didn’t feel herself lightening up more. In fact, there was a cloud over this day and she could feel it following her. Scrolling through her phone, she looked at some of the pictures from the party. Her smiling with people she considered friends even though she was detached and never able to fully trust people. 
That’s when she felt their eyes. 
Two white men, both bald and tattooed who were staring straight at her. They were talking lowly, and she played it off as some older guys just checking her out even though she had dark circles under her eyes and chapped lips from not keeping up with her normal routine the last few days. 
She continued to look through her phone, wondering if she should invite Gabe to come with her. She was halfway through her drink, looking back around again to only see the same men staring at her, one one their phone as he did so. Daniela swallowed. Lifting herself, she decided she didn’t want the rest of her coffee, an uneasy feeling settling in her stomach. She pushed open the door, without calling a goodbye out as she usually would to the cashier who always gave her 15% off. Fear wasn’t something she felt often. A few times in her life, but her father had carved that emotion out of her and pegged it as weak. 
Wondering if it was just the sleep she wasn’t getting and the fact that she had one of the most emotional days of her life only this weekend, she slowed down her step. But that’s when she was grabbed by her hair.
Her phone was still in her hand, and it didn’t take her long to reflex. No, she didn’t call her dad -- it was Gabriel. He always answered within three rings and had an insane intuition for when things were bad. The Latina girl knew that it had to be the men who were staring at her, and she distinctly remembered their tattoos, speaking quickly into the phone, “They are both bald -- dragon tattoo on one’s neck and a skull on the other’s han --” She was cut off by a sickening crack!, feeling warmth start to spread along her head. She was dazed, but she still had to fight.. she had to. 
Her nails dug into skin, feeling another two hands trying to grab at her legs as she kicked. She tried to get a look at them but blood was pouring down her face, into her eyes.
Daniela started to scream at them in Spanish, slurs pouring from her mouth and she didn’t even care if they understood. She damned them to hell, told them that even if they killed her Gabriel would find them and they would be subjected to Hell itself. Crunch! Her face was impaled into the cement that was previously under her Nikes, and she felt herself starting to nod out. The pair hadn’t said a word until now, “She is definitely Castro’s daughter.” 
A satisfied chuckle came from one of them before a hard object came down on the back of her head, forcing her face even harder into the ground this time. The last thing she could think of was the fact that she had made sure her tracking was on this morning for Gabriel after she had promised him she would download an app that would allow him to see her exact location. 
She wondered if she was going to die, or if they were gonna torture her for money from her father who they were obviously trying to get to. And those were her lazy thoughts.
A conversation between Arturo and Gabriel alone was had in the front of the hospital, a cigar clenched between his teeth as he talked to the younger boy about what Daniela had told him. He was sure that the boy would tell him everything, so his anger was settled with a layer of worry for now. He knew they were bald with tattoos, but that didn’t give him much from his array of enemies.
“I trust you to find them, mijo.” Was all that the Latino man said before he left him to do what he did, because he knew that Gabe and his daughter had gotten close and even though he usually tried to keep her from boys, there was a little safety in their friendship.
Walking through the hallways, eyes only flicked on him then didn’t look back again. Castro had a way of carrying himself like he was dragging dead bodies behind him that were screaming for nearby passers to stay as far away from him as possible. And that was the way he liked it. He didn’t speak much, and when he did his voice boomed through the room like it had acoustics. His cigar was still between his teeth, unlit when he made it up to the ICU. He had left his men -- his nephews -- who he trusted with anything to watch after Dani and keep an eye out for the doctor. As his wrinkled eyes spotted a white jacket, he made haste to get to where his family and the doctor were standing.
“... and her brain, it’s.. off it’s axis.”
Arturo glanced between the doctor, and the door that held his daughter behind it. He handed the cigar to the nearest one of his men, them taking it quickly without him even having to look. 
“Explain.” Castro demanded. 
“The impact on her head must have been... so extreme and.. continued even after she had already passed out -- to a point where it has literally shifted her brain and the liquid in it.” 
That, the 52-year-old man understood. He sucked in a breath, nodding once, “And that is why she hasn’t woken up yet?”
“We have actually induced the coma... to help her brain try to heal.” 
The veins in Arurto’s next thickened as he finally met eyes with the doctor, sending the medical professional into a shiver. “You... is she going to wake up?” He was trying not to let his anger get the best of him. But it was who he was. A walking flame of rage ready to take burn down anything that stood in his way. He loved his daughter -- not how a normal father would, but none the less, he cared in his own ways. 
“Yes, absolutely. It’s just that, we don’t know how bad the damage will be.”  
Swearing in Spanish, he kicked a nearby chair and sent it flying, no one moving while he did so. Not even the professional.
“I want... every doctor you have, every single nurse.. every doctor, on my daughter. I do not care if I have to buy this hospital, you make sure she is herself when she wakes up. Or I will hold you fully responsible.” 
Nodding quickly, the doctor waited for Aruto’s silent approval for him to leave before he was rushing away.
“Follow him.” He spoke nearly in a whisper to his brother, who was his right hand man in everything that he ever did. Insanely loyal. Something the family cherished. 
Sinking into a worn down chair, he sighed. He thought of his wife, the pain he felt when he lost her.. and if Arturo could have physically teared up, he would have.
6 notes · View notes
trendingnewsb · 7 years
Text
6 Actors Who Did The Same Crimes Their Own Characters Did
At the beginning of every episode of Jackass, the show has to practically beg you not to try any of what you’re about to see at home, which seems a bit redundant when the guys start stapling their own testicles to an enraged bull. But it’s necessary. Some people truly can’t help doing whatever they see onscreen, no matter how bloody, stupid, or painful the results. Sometimes that even goes for the actors pretending to do it …
6
A Sopranos Actor Was Implicated In A Real Mob Execution
Michael “Big Mike” Squicciarini was typecast as, well, himself, and his role as “Big Frank” on The Sopranos was no exception. Though it seems impossible for a guy who has played everyone from “Thug Joey” to “Henchman #2,” his real-life rap sheet had more mob stereotypes than his IMDb page. While he worked for the DiMeo crime family on the show, he worked for the family they were based on, the DeCavalcantes, in reality.
HBOHis quotes include, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh that’s-a spicy meatball, capisci?”
Read Next
6 Hilarious Loopholes Normal People Used To Beat The System
Big Mike served five years for aggravated assault before officially graduating to murder in 1992, when he lured rival drug dealer Ralph Hernandez to a nightclub owned by mob capo “Joe Pitts” Conigliaro. Pitts was in a wheelchair because he and his partner failed so hard at shaking a dude down that they accidentally shot each other at the same time, but he didn’t let that hold him back. Someone (we don’t know for sure if it was Big Mike, but it, uh … it was probably Big Mike) locked Hernandez in a room with Joe, but didn’t stick around to see Pitts shoot the man in the forehead.
That would have been the end of it, had Big Mike not gotten stars in his eyes. Police were still investigating the crime, but all they had was a nickname, and you’d be surprised at the number of Big Mikes residing in that part of the country. Then they noticed that this Sopranos guy seemed suspiciously good at gangstering …
Bill TurnbullWhen they needed to make sure nobody snitched about the ending of the series, who do you think they called?
Witnesses were shown a few episodes of the show, and confirmed that it was an entertainment thrill ride (and also that Big Mike totally helped kill that guy). By then, Big Mike had turned his life around, but his crimes came back to haunt him. He passed away before he could stand trial, and Joe Pitts himself was eventually knocked off in a mob hit. Scorsese himself couldn’t have done better.
5
The Actor Who Played Young Ricky Bobby Really Did Like to Go Fast
In Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, there’s a flashback to a ten-year-old Ricky, played by Luke Bigham. Bigham’s career soon fizzled out, meaning that Talladega Nights was somebody’s acting high point, and dammit if he wasn’t intent on reliving it.
Columbia PicturesLooking like “Young Will Ferrell” is a bit of a niche career.
Eight years later in Alabama, Bigham caused a five-car pileup after crashing his sedan going 80 mph in a 35 mph zone. It wasn’t Bigham’s last brush with the law. Later that year, after recovering from his minor injuries, he was arrested on domestic violence charges for pushing his mother down the stairs. In the film, Ricky Bobby’s kids are awful to their parents, and Bigham had apparently decided to method act for the rest of his life.
4
Louis C.K. Has Been Warning Us That He’s A Sexual Predator For A Long Time
For years, Louis C.K. dismissed accusations of sexual misconduct — specifically, that he’s forced women to watch while he masturbates — only to recently admit the stories were true. But if we had been paying attention, we would have seen him trying to confess in slow motion over the course of his career.
20th TelevisionOr sometimes point blank.
In one scene of his FX series, Louis appears on a talk show to defend the merits of masturbation. He’s introduced as an “aficionado of masturbation” who “even brags about it,” which came across as a silly bit at the time, but obviously did not age well. After apparently winning the debate, Louis turns to his pretty, young evangelical opponent and says, “You know what, I’m going to jerk off to you later and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
youtube
He may as well have signed that confession note.
3
O.J. Simpson Attacks A Woman With A Knife In An Unaired TV Pilot
Before O.J. Simpson was a professional murderer, he was an actor (before that, he did something with football, which certainly sounds like a real sport). But shortly before being arrested and put on trial for the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown in 1994, O.J. had appeared in an unaired pilot for a TV series called Frogmen.
NBCUniversal Television“What if we take the volleyball scene from Top Gun and add wetsuits and O.J. Simpson?”
Simpson starred as John “Bullfrog” Burke, a Navy SEAL on a mission to rescue an old friend who has since married his ex-wife. At one point in the pilot, Burke is surprised by his daughter, whom he believes to be an intruder, and briefly holds a knife to her throat. Of course, Nicole Brown famously died of multiple knife wounds, mostly to her throat. We can’t help but wonder if O.J. had some “creative input” on the scene.
NBCUniversal Television“CUT! O.J., man, you gotta stop yelling ‘I’LL SHOW YOU, NICOLE!’ That’s not the line.”
NBC had already declined to pick up the show by the time the murders occurred a few months later, and the pilot remains unaired, sealed in a vault at Warner Bros. When asked if they would ever consider releasing it, executives reportedly burst into laughter and then said “no” 17 times with 17 different inflections.
2
The Guy Who Played Ricky’s Killer In Boyz N The Hood Became A Murderous Gangster
Lloyd Avery II was a nice young man who grew up in a middle-class neighborhood, attended Beverly Hills High School, and played water polo. He was basically Carlton Banks. Then, everything changed when he met John Singleton, who cast him as the gang member who kills Ricky Baker in Boyz N The Hood. Because movie roles for young black men in the ’90s generally ranged from “Dead Thug #1” to “Dead Thug #2,” Avery continued to be cast as gang members until he apparently decided to cut out the middleman and become one. He moved to a crime-ridden neighborhood un-affectionately called “The Jungle,” got the word “Junglez” tattooed above his eyebrow, and eventually ended up sentenced to life in prison for double homicide, for which face tattoos are a notorious gateway.
Columbia PicturesDid you notice how his hat is color-coordinated with the car? That’s not by accident.
Sadly, life in prison wound up being a short sentence. While Avery did attempt to reform behind bars, he met way badder dudes than he could have ever hoped to be. Specifically, his Satanist cellmate, who killed him, created a pentagram with his blood, and performed a Satanic ritual over his body after an argument about — surprise! — religion.
1
An Actor In Rosemary’s Baby Went On To Start A Cult
Remember this guy from the party scene in Rosemary’s Baby?
Paramount PicturesWere talking about the creepy guy. Well, the creepy guy on the left.
That’s Michel Rostand. This is his only notable film appearance, and he apparently took it for an instructional video, because he soon founded a horrifying sex cult. The Buddhafield was ostensibly all about hippy enlightenment, and it began innocently enough, with a yoga class and some nature hikes. But as time went on, the focus shifted from personal enlightenment to worshiping Michel himself … literally. One follower carved sculptures out of fruit salads to give Michel every morning, while others carried his folding lawn chair around like a Roman emperor’s throne.
WRA ProductionsHe insisted the sculptures be made out of fruit because mashed potatoes seemed a bit too on the nose.
Now, the kind of power implied by human transportation and fruit art is notoriously corrupting, and things soon took a sinister turn. Michel started raping all the young men in his group. He had brainwashed them to the point where if any of them objected, he convinced them that they weren’t mad at him, they were mad at themselves, and this obviously meant they should continue having sex. Ah yes, the old “Why are you hitting yourself?” method of mind control.
When the group began to draw unwelcome attention from the normies, they bounced from California to Texas, then ultimately to Hawaii, where he’s still operating and presumably having sex of dubious consent to this day. That’s right: Somehow, impossibly, Roman Polanski was not the biggest creep involved in making Rosemary’s Baby.
Paramount PicturesReminder, Satan is also in the movie.
Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more examples of life imitating art, check out 8 Bizarre Movie Scenes You Didn’t Know Really Happened and 5 Absurd Action Movie Scenes That Happened in Real Life.
It’s not a crime to follow us on Facebook.
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25453_6-actors-who-did-same-crimes-their-own-characters-did.html
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0 notes
trendingnewsb · 7 years
Text
6 Actors Who Did The Same Crimes Their Own Characters Did
At the beginning of every episode of Jackass, the show has to practically beg you not to try any of what you’re about to see at home, which seems a bit redundant when the guys start stapling their own testicles to an enraged bull. But it’s necessary. Some people truly can’t help doing whatever they see onscreen, no matter how bloody, stupid, or painful the results. Sometimes that even goes for the actors pretending to do it …
6
A Sopranos Actor Was Implicated In A Real Mob Execution
Michael “Big Mike” Squicciarini was typecast as, well, himself, and his role as “Big Frank” on The Sopranos was no exception. Though it seems impossible for a guy who has played everyone from “Thug Joey” to “Henchman #2,” his real-life rap sheet had more mob stereotypes than his IMDb page. While he worked for the DiMeo crime family on the show, he worked for the family they were based on, the DeCavalcantes, in reality.
HBOHis quotes include, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh that’s-a spicy meatball, capisci?”
Read Next
6 Hilarious Loopholes Normal People Used To Beat The System
Big Mike served five years for aggravated assault before officially graduating to murder in 1992, when he lured rival drug dealer Ralph Hernandez to a nightclub owned by mob capo “Joe Pitts” Conigliaro. Pitts was in a wheelchair because he and his partner failed so hard at shaking a dude down that they accidentally shot each other at the same time, but he didn’t let that hold him back. Someone (we don’t know for sure if it was Big Mike, but it, uh … it was probably Big Mike) locked Hernandez in a room with Joe, but didn’t stick around to see Pitts shoot the man in the forehead.
That would have been the end of it, had Big Mike not gotten stars in his eyes. Police were still investigating the crime, but all they had was a nickname, and you’d be surprised at the number of Big Mikes residing in that part of the country. Then they noticed that this Sopranos guy seemed suspiciously good at gangstering …
Bill TurnbullWhen they needed to make sure nobody snitched about the ending of the series, who do you think they called?
Witnesses were shown a few episodes of the show, and confirmed that it was an entertainment thrill ride (and also that Big Mike totally helped kill that guy). By then, Big Mike had turned his life around, but his crimes came back to haunt him. He passed away before he could stand trial, and Joe Pitts himself was eventually knocked off in a mob hit. Scorsese himself couldn’t have done better.
5
The Actor Who Played Young Ricky Bobby Really Did Like to Go Fast
In Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, there’s a flashback to a ten-year-old Ricky, played by Luke Bigham. Bigham’s career soon fizzled out, meaning that Talladega Nights was somebody’s acting high point, and dammit if he wasn’t intent on reliving it.
Columbia PicturesLooking like “Young Will Ferrell” is a bit of a niche career.
Eight years later in Alabama, Bigham caused a five-car pileup after crashing his sedan going 80 mph in a 35 mph zone. It wasn’t Bigham’s last brush with the law. Later that year, after recovering from his minor injuries, he was arrested on domestic violence charges for pushing his mother down the stairs. In the film, Ricky Bobby’s kids are awful to their parents, and Bigham had apparently decided to method act for the rest of his life.
4
Louis C.K. Has Been Warning Us That He’s A Sexual Predator For A Long Time
For years, Louis C.K. dismissed accusations of sexual misconduct — specifically, that he’s forced women to watch while he masturbates — only to recently admit the stories were true. But if we had been paying attention, we would have seen him trying to confess in slow motion over the course of his career.
20th TelevisionOr sometimes point blank.
In one scene of his FX series, Louis appears on a talk show to defend the merits of masturbation. He’s introduced as an “aficionado of masturbation” who “even brags about it,” which came across as a silly bit at the time, but obviously did not age well. After apparently winning the debate, Louis turns to his pretty, young evangelical opponent and says, “You know what, I’m going to jerk off to you later and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
youtube
He may as well have signed that confession note.
3
O.J. Simpson Attacks A Woman With A Knife In An Unaired TV Pilot
Before O.J. Simpson was a professional murderer, he was an actor (before that, he did something with football, which certainly sounds like a real sport). But shortly before being arrested and put on trial for the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown in 1994, O.J. had appeared in an unaired pilot for a TV series called Frogmen.
NBCUniversal Television“What if we take the volleyball scene from Top Gun and add wetsuits and O.J. Simpson?”
Simpson starred as John “Bullfrog” Burke, a Navy SEAL on a mission to rescue an old friend who has since married his ex-wife. At one point in the pilot, Burke is surprised by his daughter, whom he believes to be an intruder, and briefly holds a knife to her throat. Of course, Nicole Brown famously died of multiple knife wounds, mostly to her throat. We can’t help but wonder if O.J. had some “creative input” on the scene.
NBCUniversal Television“CUT! O.J., man, you gotta stop yelling ‘I’LL SHOW YOU, NICOLE!’ That’s not the line.”
NBC had already declined to pick up the show by the time the murders occurred a few months later, and the pilot remains unaired, sealed in a vault at Warner Bros. When asked if they would ever consider releasing it, executives reportedly burst into laughter and then said “no” 17 times with 17 different inflections.
2
The Guy Who Played Ricky’s Killer In Boyz N The Hood Became A Murderous Gangster
Lloyd Avery II was a nice young man who grew up in a middle-class neighborhood, attended Beverly Hills High School, and played water polo. He was basically Carlton Banks. Then, everything changed when he met John Singleton, who cast him as the gang member who kills Ricky Baker in Boyz N The Hood. Because movie roles for young black men in the ’90s generally ranged from “Dead Thug #1” to “Dead Thug #2,” Avery continued to be cast as gang members until he apparently decided to cut out the middleman and become one. He moved to a crime-ridden neighborhood un-affectionately called “The Jungle,” got the word “Junglez” tattooed above his eyebrow, and eventually ended up sentenced to life in prison for double homicide, for which face tattoos are a notorious gateway.
Columbia PicturesDid you notice how his hat is color-coordinated with the car? That’s not by accident.
Sadly, life in prison wound up being a short sentence. While Avery did attempt to reform behind bars, he met way badder dudes than he could have ever hoped to be. Specifically, his Satanist cellmate, who killed him, created a pentagram with his blood, and performed a Satanic ritual over his body after an argument about — surprise! — religion.
1
An Actor In Rosemary’s Baby Went On To Start A Cult
Remember this guy from the party scene in Rosemary’s Baby?
Paramount PicturesWere talking about the creepy guy. Well, the creepy guy on the left.
That’s Michel Rostand. This is his only notable film appearance, and he apparently took it for an instructional video, because he soon founded a horrifying sex cult. The Buddhafield was ostensibly all about hippy enlightenment, and it began innocently enough, with a yoga class and some nature hikes. But as time went on, the focus shifted from personal enlightenment to worshiping Michel himself … literally. One follower carved sculptures out of fruit salads to give Michel every morning, while others carried his folding lawn chair around like a Roman emperor’s throne.
WRA ProductionsHe insisted the sculptures be made out of fruit because mashed potatoes seemed a bit too on the nose.
Now, the kind of power implied by human transportation and fruit art is notoriously corrupting, and things soon took a sinister turn. Michel started raping all the young men in his group. He had brainwashed them to the point where if any of them objected, he convinced them that they weren’t mad at him, they were mad at themselves, and this obviously meant they should continue having sex. Ah yes, the old “Why are you hitting yourself?” method of mind control.
When the group began to draw unwelcome attention from the normies, they bounced from California to Texas, then ultimately to Hawaii, where he’s still operating and presumably having sex of dubious consent to this day. That’s right: Somehow, impossibly, Roman Polanski was not the biggest creep involved in making Rosemary’s Baby.
Paramount PicturesReminder, Satan is also in the movie.
Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more examples of life imitating art, check out 8 Bizarre Movie Scenes You Didn’t Know Really Happened and 5 Absurd Action Movie Scenes That Happened in Real Life.
It’s not a crime to follow us on Facebook.
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25453_6-actors-who-did-same-crimes-their-own-characters-did.html
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2pgqpMy via Viral News HQ
0 notes